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urdepressedslut · 1 year ago

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If your requests are open…

Could you please do a Mob Bucky x Reader where the Reader is pregnant and gives birth to a premie baby and he baby has to stay in the hospital for 4 months. And Bucky wants to comfort the reader but he’s feeling sad too, so he goes a little crazy because he is angry that he can’t help the reader. So he leaves and the reader thinks that Bucky left her. You can make up how it ends. But please add angst and fluff. I get it if you don’t do it. Thank You!

hi lovely 💕 thank you so much for sending in this request, i read through it and loved the whole idea from beginning to end. i hope you like what i’ve written💗🥰

Out of My Control

♡ Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You awake in the middle of the night discovering that your water broke, you realize you’re having a baby— the only issue is that it’s several months early. Your hospital room gets tense as you and Bucky come to terms with the big changes.

♡ Warnings: language, angst, fluff, premature baby birth, all things to do with pregnancy, argument, stress, hints to panic attacks, self hate, signs of depression, me probs writing anything medical wrong

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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

A relaxing day spent together, as the two of you walked through the park, went on a date and cuddled back at home. Things had started perfect and quickly shifted in a shit show.

Neither of you were prepared for the sudden contractions you were feeling. The alarms ringing in your head— like your body knew but your mind didn’t want to accept it. You were having this baby.

The only issue was that the baby was several months early. If the sobbing coming from you, from the pain wasn’t enough— the idea that you were about to have a premature baby only added into the panic.

Bucky and you talked day and night to your baby— whispering sweet words. Making promises to a baby that wasn’t even born yet. It was all crumbling before your eyes as you were rushed to the hospital, the inside of your thighs drenched from when your water had broke.

Everything happened so fast— you were soon to be knocked out with heavy meds to help with the pain. While Bucky had to witness it all— all these nurses and doctors poke and prod at you, keeping you alive of course. But he couldn’t keep his fists from unclenching— every cry and whimper that escaped your lips made him want to strangle the nurse or doctor that had caused it.

He was a tad overprotective, but you were his everything. His world, his purpose. Seeing you in such pain destroyed him and he felt himself slowly spiraling. He had called several of his men to guard the entire corridor in the hospital, even while the hospital didn't really allow that kinda stuff— they learned quickly not to mess with Bucky. They didn't want to get involved with the whole mob world and just lowered their heads and agreed to what he wanted in the moment.

Many doctors, nurses, tests and meds later— you were finally in stable condition. Giving birth to a premature child had taken a toll on your body, physically and mentally.

You had given birth to a girl— Rebecca Barnes. Agreeing to name your baby after Bucky’s adoring sister, who you had grown close with over the years.

At last you had Bucky in the room the whole time— but you had noticed him getting uncharacteristically quiet. You knew he was most likely worried sick for you, but you couldn’t wait for the moment to tell him everything was going to be okay. You just hadn’t had a moment to talk with him yet.

You thought you’d have time to speak with him but because your child was so early— she was in critical condition. The doctors and nurses doing all they could to keep your baby alive and healthy.

A couple days pass by and the crowd of nurses and doctors have died down, allowing Bucky to finally sit beside your bed. Rebecca was getting checked by doctors and nurses in another room, there was nothing you two could do but cling onto each other as you waited for the news.

“I’ve missed sleeping next to you James.” You called out to him, reaching for his hand and holding it tight.

He hummed in response, his eyes continuing to scan over your face, body— looking for any other injuries.

“James— have you been sleeping?” You questioned after he didn’t respond to your previous one.

Looking over him now that he was close enough, you could see his sunken in eyes. The way his eyes were rimmed with redness— his skin pale compared to his beautiful tan glow that he had. He looked miserable.

He looked up at your eyes at that question, and for a second you thought he was glaring at you.

“Do you really expect me to get sleep when you’re stuck here in pain?” He responded in a hoarse, gravelly voice.

You softened at his sorrow tone, your heart aching that he was making himself suffer because you were.

“Sweetheart, you gotta take care of yourself. I know you don’t wanna leave my side but— I’m okay now,” You finally reassured him, “Everything is gonna be okay — the worst is done with.”

As he hoped your words would help calm him, it did little to soothe the panic that had been brewing in his chest ever since you cried out in pain at home. You were still stuck here— along with his baby. He couldn’t do anything but sit on the sidelines and wait until you got better— and that drove him fucking insane. He wanted to lick all your wounds, steal all your pain. The fact that he couldn’t do it in a snap of his fingers, was making him lose his shit.

“How is everything okay? You’re still sitting here— and you’re gonna be here for god knows how long!” He rushed out frustratedly.

You rubbing the back of his hand in attempt to calm him, knowing he needed to get his stress out— but he ripped it from your grasp. You couldn’t hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes from the action.

“James this happens when babies are born early— you know that. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll be out of here soo—”

“Bullshit!” He hissed, not necessarily at you— but you could feel the air from his breath.

He hadn’t eaten, or drank very much. Hadn’t slept— overall hadn’t been taking care of himself. Adding all of the stress of your safety— was the golden reason for why he was acting out. Although you didn’t know that fully, and you were starting to feel like his anger was directed at you.

You were emotionally vulnerable right now, with everything that had gone on. You needed his support desperately, not a fight.

“James just take a breath for me okay? You’re okay— we’re okay.” You whispered, your hand itching to hold his. He was too far out of reach now, pacing the hospital room. “I really need you right now— I can’t have you passing out from exhaustion. I need you healthy!”

“Yeah well— I need you to be healthy too!” He argued, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “I can’t lose you!!”

Lastly he shouted, watching your eyes flicker from the loudness. He immediately relaxed seeing your hurt expression— he felt bad that he was stressing you out. He didn’t mean to— he just felt things were way too out of his control. He just wanted you to be okay, and back at home in his arms.

You opened your mouth to say something, watching his eyes shift into a faraway look. But before you could say anything, he turned and walked out the door— leaving you alone in the hospital room.

You tried to understand his perspective and desperately tried to— but you were already under so much stress, on your body and mind. The only thing you could do in the moment was cry.

Hugging yourself in attempt to comfort your self, you sobbed quietly. Wishing for Bucky to come back through the door. As the darkness faded into your thoughts, you couldn’t help but feel like this was your fault. Bucky was clearly upset with you— but why?

Was it because you weren’t healthy enough to hold a baby properly? Was it because your body just wasn’t equipped to carry a baby? It was your body— you should’ve been better. Should’ve done more to prevent this.

Your thoughts ran wild, abusing your fragile mind as you curled up in the hospital bed, weeping to no one. The nurse who had been caring for you the whole time came in with a concerned expression, trying to soothe your cries— as the heart monitor was going erratic with panic.

Meanwhile Bucky kept walking, ignoring the worried glances form his men. It was no secret that his men had grown close to you as well. They were all worried about you and the baby— hoping you two would walk out of the hospital soon all healed up.

Steve, his closest friend followed after Bucky— knowing he'd be able to get through his thick skin. Steve's attempts at making Bucky stop were useless, that was until they made it outside— and Bucky finally felt like he could breathe. That's when he turned to meet Steve's worried eyes boring into his.

"What's going man? Is (Y/n) okay?" Steve asked hesitantly.

He'd check on you himself— but it was direct orders from Bucky that they guard the corridor and nothing else. He had to respect that.

Bucky took another deep breath, letting the cool air fill his lungs— the breeze drying the layer of sweat that lightly coated his skin. The stress and anxiety building up— festering inside of him.

"Yeah... she's going to make a full recovery I think." Bucky breathed out, but his expression was still pained.

"That's great news— what's got you so worked up then?" Steve pried, and if it were anyone else— Bucky would be slapping them.

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to take another deep breath of the fresh air before his thoughts consumed him once again. Steve could see his pained expression deepen.

"She's fucking stuck here for months man— and I can't do shit about it! I feel like I should be doing more I— I just don't know what to do. I feel terrible that she's in pain— I just want her to be healthy with our babygirl and coming home!" He rushed out, started to pace the front entrance— running his hands through his hair.

Steve reached out to stop his pacing, holding his shoulder in a tight grip to snap him back to reality.

"Hey! Buck— you gotta take a breath and chill out— everything is gonna be okay. I know you're stressed out, I would be too— but you gotta try and calm down." Steve told him, holding his gaze with a stern one.

Bucky didn't mind the roles being switched up at the moment. He needed someone to shake him up— to get his shit together.

"I just love her so much." Bucky whispered, feeling his throat get tight with emotions.

Steve was shocked to see his pal so vulnerable, but it was understandable. He ignored the shock for now and tried to relax his friend.

"You need to tell her that, not me." Steve chuckled, and wasn't surprised at the glare he received from Bucky. "You're sorta right that there's not much you can do— but you can be there for her."

Bucky after a long pause nodded, knowing Steve was right— which was mind boggling to him.

"Yeah, you're right— you're right." Bucky mumbled, taking a few extra deep breaths before turning towards the door.

He stopped himself at the sliding doors and turned around suddenly and walked towards Steve without a word— pulling him into a tight hug. One that had Steve's mouth open in shock— hugs were not their thing.

"Thanks bud— I can't believe I have a babygirl." He whispered excitedly, pulling back with a teary smile and turned away— heading into the hospital.

Your tears had stopped minutes ago, and you stayed laying in bed— staring blankly out the window. Your mind wouldn't slow their attack— the darkness staining your brain. You wondered if someone could die from the abuse of their own mind— felt like you were.

Through muffled sound, you heard the door to your room open and close— followed by a voice. You were so out of it that it sounded like they were speaking from underwater.

It’s probably the nurse again… trying to get you to say something— anything. You thought mindlessly.

“(Y/n)… (Y/n)?” The mumbling continued and you really wanted to look over to see who it was, but found yourself comfortable in the dull state.

A gentle touch to your shoulder had you jumping, glancing slowly over to where the voice was coming from. To your surprise— it was Bucky.

“Hey baby, you okay? You feeling any pain?” He asked worriedly.

You stared at him like he had four eyes, your own darting around his face— almost like you didn’t actually believe he was here.

Bucky only grew more concerned the longer you didn’t respond, instead you stared at him with fear shining in your eyes.

“Baby— talk to me. What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” He begged quietly, holding your hand in between both of his.

You looked down at your connected hands, your chest rising and falling with a big deep breath— almost like you could finally get a good breath in.

“You’re here.” You whispered, and if Bucky wasn’t as close as he was— he wouldn’t of heard it.

“I’m here baby, I’m not going anywhere— okay?” He asked, needing you to know he was here to stay. He finally got the shot in the arm he needed.

You shook your head, bottom lip quivering and that was the only warning Bucky needed to know you were about to cry. His heart ached at the sight of your now glossy eyes— peering into his with shame. That he didn’t understand.

“Fuck— I’m sorry James… this is all my fault.” You cried, holding onto his hand even tighter.

Bucky shook his head, rubbing the skin of your arm soothingly. Wishing so desperately that he could climb into bed with you— but he couldn’t. At least not for awhile.

He went to assure you, you had nothing to be sorry for but was interrupted by your cries.

“I can’t even do the one thing a woman is supposed to do right— I fucking failed you— us! I’m sorry James I— I should’ve been healt—”

Bucky had enough, he felt sick that you thought this was your fault.

“Baby no, don’t you dare think for one second that this is your fault. You didn’t ask for this honey— there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent this!” He told you sternly, sitting up closer to you now, cupping your face in his hands.

“But I—” You tried.

“No baby— I’m not gonna let you think this is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. Honey, you brought a babygirl into this world. You did it.” He pushed, pecking your forehead.

Your tears continued to fall but your cries has quieted down by now— Bucky’s words sinking in. You couldn’t help but want to smile at the mention of your babygirl. Rebecca— oh how you wanted her in your arms.

“I’m sorry I was angry before, but it wasn’t at you baby— I need you to know that.” He started, pushing stray hairs behind your ears. “I’m just frustrated that I can’t do anything for you right now. I just want you to be healthy and home with Becca.”

You softened your gaze upon his admission, reaching your hands up to cup his stubbled cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch, his eyes shutting on instinct.

“I love you so fucking much baby, and I just can’t stand knowing you’re in pain and that you’ll be stuck here for awhile.” He breathed out, his own emotions getting caught in his throat.

“James… you should’ve just started with that.” You whispered, stroking the skin on his cheek.

“I know, I know— I just get all in my head sometimes.” He admitted and you chuckled tiredly.

“Oh trust me, I know.” You joked, pulling him into the bed with you.

Bucky was careful, not sure if this was allowed and didn’t want to hurt you any further.

“(Y/n)… I don’t know if—”

“Just get in the fucking bed.” You spoke out monotonously.

He chuckled and shook his head, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Yes ma’am.”

You loved that you had this mean, initiating mob boss wrapped around your tiny little finger. But to be fair— he had you wrapped around his as well. He scooted in next to you, where you leaned back— laying your head on his chest. Hugging him around his waist, you could feel the heat of his breath fanning your forehead.

“I love you too James. Just don’t leave again, okay? I need you here with me.” You mumbled to him, feeling sleepy from all the stress of the day.

He squeezed just a little tighter, rubbing your arms comfortingly— before he spoke.

“I’m not going anywhere babydoll, I’m not going anywhere.”

#mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes x reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #protective bucky barnes #thank you for your request!#much love 💗#virtual hug

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