#Video Review: Circles

[biggrump]

Video Games I played in 2023 (and maybe even enjoyed)

A completely unorganized list of games I played this year that I wanted to talk about because they were great.

1. Ultrakill - My biggest time sink of the year. Found out about this game about a year ago due to FUNKe talking about it a lot. Was hooked from the first level, and after beating it I replayed several levels until I mastered the mechanics, then looked for all the secret levels, then P-ranked all of Act 1 and then the P-1 boss fight several times over (Act 2 is hard to P-rank). However enjoyment did kinda dry up for a bit after I actually got good at the game but then Hakita dropped the first part of act 3 a while ago and it started all over again. Here's hoping the last 2 chapters stick the landing and keep scratching that itch (which they probably will let's be honest)

2. Metal Gear Solid series - Played all of the games aside from 4 which couldn't run on my PC (had to watch a long play for it) and Peace Walker just cause I got distracted by other stuff. The first game didn't really resonate with me on a deeper level but its storytelling, gameplay mechanics, and 4th wall breaks are amazing, especially for the time. 2 and 3 hit far harder and are some of the best games I've ever played. I could talk for hours about every facet of 2's creativity with its meta narrative and constant questioning of reality but then I wouldn't have time to talk about other games here. Just know that it is now my favorite game ever made. 3, while not quite as crazy and predictive with its plot, is just a really good story about a small group of characters that is incredibly written and told. I also really enjoyed 5's gameplay and a lot of the more subtle storytelling, and while 4 has an utterly incomprehensible plot with tons of holes, the character writing, voice acting, and graphics are phenomenal. I want whatever Kojima smokes when he comes up with these.

3. Red Dead Online - I played this with my brother and encountered a modder on my first day. Think that really informed my take on this game because he gave me a shit ton of money and I was able to use it to get a bounty license which took up most of my time in that game. We'd just queue up a bounty mission and play some Oingo Boingo and Talking Heads while we ride, do the bounty, then watch random videos while we waited till the last minute to drop off the bounty bc of how Rockstar decided to set up the system. We also met a couple people online and overall just had a great experience bein a rootin tootin shootin cowboy. Also my guy looks doofy as fuck.

4. The Artful Escape - Impulse bought this game after I watched a vid by Jexonite where he played every game published by Annapurna because the premise seemed fun and I thought it looked cool. Turns out the game does look cool, incredible even. But the art style is kind of all this game has going for it, aside from some solid voice actors (Jason Schwartzman and Lena Headey were cool and Mark Strong was completely unrecognizable). Gameplay is basically just a walking sim that occasionally tells you to press buttons to play notes on your guitar and the story took a pretty generic turn. Has absolutely zero replay value but I did enjoy playing it.

5. BPM - The first roguelike I've ever gotten into, probably because it has a guns in it. I got all the way up to the last level then died to a low level enemy and have not gotten that far in the game since. The OST goes insanely hard though and is part of the reason why I keep coming back to it. It's also insanely addicting so be warned.

6. Hotline Miami - Probably holds the record for the game that pissed me off the most this year. An insanely fun and fast paced shooter game where your reaction timing is everything and that every nerd with a YouTube channel has already picked apart. Even though some of the AI is complete jank it is so satisfying clearing rooms in this game. The art style is also quite good and the soundtrack introduced me to a ton of new artists. Also is a strong case for environmental storytelling needing to be more prevalent in games. I can figure out what's going on I'm a smart guy.

7. Katana Zero - A very Hotline Miami inspired game aka a game with a pixelated art style and a synthwave soundtrack where the goal is to clear rooms and you die in one hit. I feel a bit more mixed about this game compared to Hotline honestly. I really liked the time slowing mechanic, the mobility, and the way you can reflect bullets with your sword. I also like how the enemy AI actually stays consistent through each run of the level, whereas with Hotline there were some enemies who could move erratically and fuck everything up even if you plan a solid route. However, I think because of how the story was told I don't think it had as much of an impact on me. I can't really remember a lot of the important details but I can remember that a lot of plot threads were left unresolved. Also, while I do like the combat a lot, I feel like it's missing the sandbox approach that Hotline had. Honestly not a game I would necessarily come back to, but if the dev made a sequel I would buy it (especially if we get to play as Dragon more he was cool as fuck). I'll also give the game props for actually having an OST unlike Hotline.

8. Undertale - What could I say about this game that hasn't already been said by the entire population of South Dakota? It is very fun and I am glad I finally took the plunge and played it. Now I just have to finish the other routes at some point lol

9. Lethal Company - I played this game with multiple friend groups and it was incredibly fun but also terrifying. If you haven't played yet, the best advice I can give is to just go in completely blind and figure shit out on your own. Also, try to actually go into the buildings instead of staying in the ship like a goo goo ga ga dingus.

Other stuff I played worth mentioning (Smaller stuff or games I revisited/haven't finished a full playthrough of):

1. A Hat in Time DLC - Played the original game late last year and loved it, but didn't get the DLC so I didn't play it for some time. Played it this year and had a blast. The Nyakuza Metro level is so detailed, you can really tell the devs poured their heart and soul into making this game look as great as it does. Made me rediscover my love for the base game.

2. Titanfall 2 - Not my first time playing it but replayed the single player on PC for the first time (played on Xbox before) and realized the characters and level design were way better than I remembered. I then started pestering everyone I knew to play it and the ones who did seem to like it too. I also popped off multiple times in the multiplayer so it was nice to have a multiplayer game that I'm good at.

3. The Magic Circle - Played for a few hours and then stopped, but the premise is quite fun and I am eager to revisit at some point in the future.

4. The Looker - This one was just funny idrk what else to say. (I have not played The Witness)

[rivvytrick]



well. i got to play goodbye volcano high, in full. one ending, anyway.

i liked its dialogue system carrying forward disco elysium's ideas of having all three options be representative of your characters thoughts, with static, button prompts you have to hold to work up the courage to say some, some that'll lock themselves out as you hover over them or change into something else. its very fun and its utilized in a good way to sell your character. thats probably the one thing i enjoy.

spoilers below.

goodbye volcano high is a cartoon network show. something so incestuous about what it is, and what its obviously cribbing from and what it wants to be, despite no real way of knowing what that Glue is that holds things together. conversations are speeches thrown at each other to faint melancholic guitar chords from start to finish, words that trail off in ways that only allude to themselves and feel as if they hold no greater meaning outside of their immediate conclusion. things are made to be screencapped, but it doesnt come to you with any sort of wisdom meant to be passed on, with characters who have obvious arcs of plans being torn apart by way of the cataclysm that will end their lives, but for who many never learned to find stability with life to begin with to earn that upheaval.

the main character, fang, is someone who begins the game in transparent reminiscence to get the audience all pumped up and sentimental for that good old Senior Year feels, and is afraid of growing up and what that entails before the news of the apocalypse hits. they have one dream, and its a knowing fault that gets confronted eventually enough: to win the battle of the bands and Make It Big, playing a hit song for crowds with their best friends. its a dream thats intentionally immature, and i can't tell if its meant to be charming in how it can be irritating that even in their moments of connecting with the world around them, things are framed around said dream, a dream that isn't fleshed out. the sheer mention of college throws anxiety at them, with a family thats less than accepting of their identity, and friends moving away or drifting into interests of their own and becoming more whole people as they reach adulthood. these are the classic coming-of-age knots that take more than what the games approach to character writing can untangle as is, but the meteor plot point... makes it not matter. high school never ends for Fang. but worse is it never even really began.

Most characters are here to reinforce that "life comes at you fast, and the futures not set in stone" theme, but with not enough to truly make it worth it. Fang's brother learns to live his own life outside of parental expectations with one big Blowing Up scene from Fang over their band posters around school he took down, but with not enough to show him even beginning such. his role remains the dependable one, and the one who tells Fang to slow down. Trish's is a story about your passions leading you to a double life between friendship rituals and togetherness and individual pursuits and identity, with the game spent with her feeling meekly distant and flighty, landing only at the eleventh hour with a "im still going to be me, and we're still going to be us" speech with Fang. it wants to be touching but this character has not gone anywhere, a character arc as complete as the sentence "I am." you sure are. what now?

Reed I...genuinely dont even remember what his deal was. His worry over the meteor seeps into everything in his life down to his dnd sessions. sad!

Naomi is probably the one with the most going on, but this might be biased because I think she's very cute in a way that the rest of the cast tries to nail but fails to outside of Rosa. I'm a sucker for student presidents who Try Their Best, and works the most well with the greater plot as she realizes shes spent her life waiting and plotting for a perfect life that will never come. theres good ideas, not fully captured here but still, about the pressure of highschool, society, and her wants of a life where she has control over her destiny, with the moments (or well moment, with her texting Fang of her longstanding crush under an alias near the beginning of the game) she's most rewarded for involving her seizing the moment and accepting her anxiety. She has swings and roundabouts! It's not just an immediate fixing! She loses her shit at the cast during the final chapters, after years of repressing her desire to have her way with the world and her life, with chapters of her almost being pushed to the side and barely being present for the sake of everyone elses internal struggles, calling out Fang for their wishy-washiness in a good ironic turnaround, confronting the fact that she won't get the life she wants and still feeling cheated over it. It rushes itself to the end afterwards, but its idea is solid, and its a decently interesting concept to put this character archetype through, after the common conception of these characters being spiteful and shallow to have them turn out to be just someone nice. Plus the dinosaur thing comes together for her design in a way where its both recognizable shes a dinosaur and also still has character in a way that is appealing, rather than the rudimentary feeling the others have, with boxy silhouettes that dont work well for their personalities that don't animate well and generally carry nothing unique outside of big design Gimmicks like horns or frills. big fan, id kiss her snout and pet her horn...thing.

either way, like i said it doesnt matter. its a game about time and a lack of it, with a meteor that cuts off every character arc right before theyre able to become the people they want to be, without us getting the time to see the people they were before, for a game that crawled out from under development hell, and yet without the time to finish so many of the scenes it clearly had planned. but it doesn't matter. that's its moral. high school is something that sucks, in a world that sucks, and you wont find the closure you'll want but when its over, thank god, it'll be over. with that, this game is too.

best of luck to KO_OP, for finding a way to spite the god that clearly didnt want this to exist, and i hope theyre able to laugh and look back at this as the awkward chapter itll end up being in their history that haunts them no longer.

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

FANSLAD CIRCLE VIDEO CALL FANSIGN EVENT ROUND 2 REVIEW

onew said that he wasn't the one who wrote 'i love you' on the beach, he just took pic and sent/posted to shawols because he was thinking about them [×]

he promised to have another voice ig live [×]

💎 asked about how he got used to drink warm water and he mentioned that his father does! he also said that his father drinks very hot coffee even during summertime [×]

he also mentioned that he's going to China in late April [×]

a cat making bread and a cake for 💎💎 × ×

[jonberry555]

NEW STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS - THE BROKEN CIRCLE REVIEW YOUTUBE SHORTS

The New Chief Engineer is Board at the Academy & wants Excitement #startrek #strangenewworlds #short

The New Chief Engineer Figures out that Spock & Crew are stealing the Enterprise #strangenewworlds

[mlentertainment]

it's really funny how brennan introduced tony simos as an older greek guy and then played him exclusively italian

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Video: GIFT Shares Euphoric "Light Runner"

New Video: GIFT Shares Euphoric "Light Runner" @grandstandhq @giftbandnyc @capturedtracks

Earlier this year, Brooklyn-based JOVM mainstays GIFT — TJ Freda (vocals, guitar), multi-instrumentalist Jessica Gurewitz, Kallan Campbell (bass), multi-instrumentalist Justin Hrabovsky and Gabe Camarano (drums) — signed to Captured Tracks, who will be releasing their highly-anticipated sophomore, 11-song album Illuminator on August 23, 2024. Illuminator reportedly sees the JOVM mainstays firmly…

[rex101111]

I think Todd's video is actually the more impactful of the two for me. Like with Hbomber, that's like, his thing. He does extensive research about a specific topic and goes into great detail about it. He's in the same general "circle" as Somerton so he makes sense as someone who would like stand up and be like "hey something is WRONG here" and then just spend a very long while detailing exactly what is wrong.

Todd? Todd reviews music, albums and songs. That's his thing. Most of his videos are, at most, maybe half an hour long. His skill set and area of expertise are completely unrelated to Somerton's bullshit and yet even he can just stand up and go "something smells like bullshit" and just tear into Somerton's lies and nonsense for nearly two hours.

And most of Todd's research in that video is, by his own admission, fairly minimal. He googled, he looked up public documents, searched on forums, but nothing the average person doesn't have the time to do if something is bothering them and they want info on it. It's just testament that just about anybody can just...fact check. Look things up. It shows that there's no reason to just take things people say to you at face value if you think something is off. You can suss out bullshit by yourself.

And I just think that's a good thing to keep in mind.

Also of course when Somerton does start lying about something that Todd does have plenty of knowledge in, music, he actually gets mad and really lets the bastard have it. That's good too.

[thebibliosphere]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Laura Burrows Horowitz (@laura_horowitz_narrator)

Hey gang, looks like Audible is pulling some shit at the moment (what else is new). Basically, they've opted everyone who uses the platform into a "hide all erotic content from the search function" agreement whether you wanted to have that type of content restricted or not.

It's not even just happening to content listed as erotica. It's anything the Amazon censors deem as "erotic," and given their propensity towards censoring LGBTQ+ content as inherently more sexual than het content, I can see this getting abused really quick.

I became aware of it when Laura posted this on her Instagram a short while ago and sure enough, when I logged in and checked my settings, I'd been opted into it.

As Laura points out in the above video, you can't opt out of it on the app; you have to log in to your account on a browser, navigate to Your Account, Settings, and then uncheck the little box:

Image ID: a screenshot from Audible showing the navigation page for an Audible account. On the bottom right of the navigation bar under Preferences, a box labeled "hide erotic content in searches" has been ticked and circled in red to highlight it.

I rarely use Audible unless I'm being sent something to review, so I never would have noticed this. But yeah. If you've been wondering why you can't find your favorite romance authors on Audible anymore, this could be why.

[csuitebitches]

On Becoming Well Read

Why is it important to be well read or well informed?

We tend to gravitate towards people who we find interesting. A fear that most of us have is that we’re not interesting enough.

“What if I don’t make any friends because they think I’m boring?”

“What if I don’t know what to say at that date and he ghosts me?”

“I have no idea what this person is talking about, but I’ll pretend like I do.”

“God, I wish I had done some more research before coming here. I feel so dumb.”

In order to combat such feelings, we need to actually address them and work on them.

It’s not that you’re boring or plain. It’s just that you may not have expanded your horizon enough.

Here are some things that I do:

1. Read 3 academic articles a month (this month I’m reading on parenting, globalisation and urban riots). Annual review is a great resource. The articles I’m reading aren’t more than 30 pages long.

2. Read the news every single day. I have 13 different news apps that I use. You don’t need to use so many (I just like being informed in what’s happening in my country, the world, and certain specific nations). Start by reading just the headlines everyday.

3. My brain likes reading about fashion, lifestyle, exotic travel as well. I refer to CNA Luxury’s website for that.

4. If you don’t like reading, watch videos instead. YouTube is a vast resource. Look for TED videos, Cold fusion, Slidebean, Circle of Life, History Matters, Ted Ed, Absolute History.

Here are some topics I think are interesting / you can research on:

* your country’s history

* Basic international history and some of the most notable/ infamous events

* Classic literature

* Architecture basics

* Interior aesthetics

* Famous people and families in your country

* Prominent CEOs, politicians and personalities

* Start ups and industries that are becoming popular

* Small talk

* Jewellery - stones, metal types, settings

* Massages - best pressure points

* Real estate - structure deals, buying and selling homes

* Economics - rates and what they mean

* Philosophy basics and notable figures

* Alcohol basics - how is French wine different from Italian, why is champagne called champagne, what is the most popular drink in every country?

* Lesser known communities and tribes

Based on how well this article is being received, I'm thinking of creating a free newsletter, with content like this. Sign up here! Launch on 8th January, 2033.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Link 1, Link 2 :)

Digital Good Omens 2 Sountrack is coming out in 4 days! 🥳 CD version in October! :) ❤ Coming soon on vinyl…

Out to Stream/Download from 25th August. Out on CD 13th October. Coming soon on vinyl…

David Arnold’s ‘end of the world’ complex and multi-genre soundtrack.

From the Award-winning composer of Sherlock and Casino Royale comes a follow up to the hugely successful, Emmy nominated Good Omens soundtrack.

Good Omens series 2 premiered on Prime Video on 28th July. The series follows the odd couple, angel Aziraphale (Michael Sheen) and demon Crowley (David Tennant) in their quest to sabotage the end of the World. The six-episode sequel to the popular adaptation of the novel by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, concerns the Archangel Gabriel (Jon Hamm) arriving without his memories to Aziraphale’s bookshop. Aziraphale and Crowley attempt to find out what happened to Gabriel, whilst hiding him from Heaven and Hell, both eager to find him.

The Soundtrack

David Arnold’s soundtrack to Good Omens was first released in 2019 to favourable reviews, with BBC Music Magazine calling it “a rollicking trip to hell and back”. Blueprint Magazine described it as “a great listen” and Sci Fi Bulletin commented on “plenty of memorable themes” to conclude that “This is another work of art from Arnold”. At times nostalgic and eerie but always varied, beautiful and full of excitement, the Good Omens 2 soundtrack showcases Arnold’s every skill from his composer arsenal. Featured here are orchestral arrangements with sprinkling of Sugar Plum Fairy pizzicato and percussion, jaunty strings and mighty choral sweeps from Crouch End Festival Chorus. Added to the mix are rock guitar riffs, and psychedelic 70s sounds and all together they create a haunting otherworldly feel, complementing the fantasy and the quirky humour of the show. The spirited Waltz of the opening theme is also present in the second series and it wonderfully sets the scene for fantastical mayhem. In series 2, this robust, evocative, and funny music entity, becomes yet again another character in the story. Award-winning composer David Arnold is well known for his blockbuster scores, including Stargate, The Chronicles of Narnia: the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Hot Fuzz, Paul, Independence Day, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Casino Royale as well as for his TV work such as Sherlock and Dracula. Also available: The original soundtrack to the first series of Good Omens >

Tracklist

– Disc 1 – Chapter 1: The Arrival 1. Before the Beginning 2. Good Omens 2 Opening Title 3. Into Soho 4. Something Terrible 5. To The Bookshop 6. Maggie and Nina 7. He’s Smoking 8. Tiny Miracle 9. Heavenly Alarm Bells Chapter 2: The Clue 10. Avaunt! 11. The Song is the Clue 12. It’s What God Wants 13. A Mighty Wind 14. Whales 15. Gabriel Returns 16. His New Children 17. Am I Awful Now? 18. Fallen Angel Chapter 3: I Know Where I’m Going 19. Police Arrive 20. Scotland 21. We’re Going to Hell 22. People Get a Choice 23. My Car is Not Yellow 24. Beelzebub in Hell 25. The Book 26. The Fly 27. Mr. Dalrymple 28. We Need to Cut 29. I’m Going to Save Her 30. Crowley Goes Large 31. Not Kind 32. Beelzebub Isn’t Happy – Disc 2 – Chapter 4: The Hitchhiker 33. Hell-O 34. Nazi Zombies 35. March of the Nazi Zombies 36. Crowley Pep Talk 37. The Magic Shop 38. Catch The Bullet 39. Zombies in the Dressing Room Chapter 5: The Ball 40. I’ll Let You Have It 41. We’re Storming a Book Shop 42. Monsieur Azirophale 43. The Candelabra 44. Here Comes Hell 45. Gabriel Gives Himself Up 46. Shax 47. The Circle Chapter 6: Every Day 48. Bin Through the Window 49. Gabriel Leaving Heaven 50. The Halo 51. Gabriel Revealed 52. Gabriel’s Love Story 53. Leaving The Bookshop 54. Gabriel and Beelzebub 55. Crowley and Muriel 56. I Forgive You 57. Don’t Bother 58. The Biggest Decision 59. The End?

[the-massive-simp]

KINKTOBER - DAY 11 - mdni!

character: Childe

prompt(s): step siblings, voyeurism

warnings: masturbation(male and female), childe has a porn channel, he's a pervert, somnophilia but he doesn't touch reader uhh I think that's all (let me know if i missed anything. reader is female.

a/n: hehe. HEHE. this leaves things to your imagination, but I'll definitely write a part two for this one sooner or later. I'm a sucker for stinky perv childe ugh😔

kinktober masterlist here

♡

You've heard Childe mentioning he had a "part-time job" multiple times, which wasn't an unusual thing for university students. You knew it probably wasn't one of the big old classic jobs, like waiter or cashier, since he could do it from his room, but you thought that maybe he reviewed other students' assignments, edited videos or pics, or something like that. Surely, you didn't expect him to post porn videos.

It felt wrong to look at his channel, but you couldn't tear your gaze off it. The more you scrolled down the site, the more wrong you felt. You truly shouldn't be doing this. He's your stepbrother! The nice son of your mother's new husband, who always helps you with your assignments. The good cook who makes sure you've eaten and offers to come pick you up from your uni lessons. You knew you should have closed the tab, turned off your computer and tried to forget everything, but your eyes were glued to the screen, lips parted in shock. As you accidentally clicked on one of his videos and opened it, you couldn't help but notice how thick and long his cock looked. And how the pet names that slipped from his lips as he stroked his cock were the ones he usually used for you.

Wrong. It was wrong. But why did it make you feel so hot? Guilt couldn't stop you from bringing your hand down to your shorts, slipping under the hem to reach your panties, slowly rubbing circles on your clit. As he stroked his cock faster, sultry moans spilling from his lips, mixed with praises and degrading, you reached for your hole to find it already wet, the rush of adrenaline coming from doing something strictly forbidden adding to the pleasure. You slipped two fingers inside, curling them to rub against the spongy spot that made your toes curl.

♡

Ajax, or Childe, as his friends called him, often thought about you, his darling little sister. That's just what a good sibling does, right? But the way he thought about you would have made you run away from him.

Oh, how he wished he could bend you over and fill you with his cock every time you wore one of your little skirts. How his mouth watered at the sight of your pretty body lying, shirt riding up your tummy and tight little shorts doing nothing to hide the outline of your pretty pussy. How his dick ached as he pulled it out of his sweats, rubbing it to your sleeping form, that video quickly becoming the most viewed on his channel. Every time he pushed his steps to your room, just like now, he hoped to find you sleeping, or maybe changing, just to steal a peek at a portion of naked skin.

But today was the luckiest day ever. He stilled just before entering your room, an unusual sound startling him. He couldn't believe his ears as your soft moans reached them, his eyes widening, amazed. With one hand he slowly pushed the door open just enough to peek in, the sight inside rivaling his dirtiest dreams. You, lying back on your bed with your laptop open beside you, two fingers pumping in and out of your cunt, perfectly on display for him. He smirked and opened the door.

♡

You matched the pace of your fingers with the one of the hand stroking the thick cock on the screen, and it didn't take long for you to feel your climax building up. As your pussy began to flutter around your fingers, a small whine escaping from your mouth, you felt the door of your room open, and the cheerful voice of your stepbrother reached your ears.

You quickly tried to cover yourself, telling him to get out and don't look, but it was to no use.

"Hey, I was wondering- Oh? What's going on here? Didn't know you were a fan of mine. I would have offered you much sooner the real thing."

♡

taglist: @optimisticparadisegladiator @callinz @sashiavi @suoscafe @yourlocalgrimreapers-blog @stvryyy @weichspuelertrinker @pb-n-gay @i-am-silver @prosciuttosblog @uwucakeroll @sanatixangell @ghostlycaptainair (couldn’t tag)

>if you want to be added to the taglist, you can do so with a comment, an ask or a dm!

[inkykeiji]

character: valentino warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, possessiveness, toxic relationship, daddy kink, gun play, slight oral fixation, fem!reader who has unspecified piercings notes: for @sovya, who is val’s precious lil princesa ♡ and who always listens to my insane ramblings about ideas i had at exactly 6:20am hehe c: words: 687

Valentino has an interesting little quirk, you’ve come to learn; he always has to have something of his inside of you. It’s a simple fact, really. No matter what it is or where you are, a piece of him must always be within you in some way, shape, or form. 

He, of course, prefers for it to be a part of his body—his fingers, his tongue, his cock—but unfortunately that isn’t always feasible. 

And, of course, there are other objects that work well, too. 

Sometimes it’s his gun, barrel rammed down your throat as far as it possibly can be, teeth scraping against the N of his bedazzled name as you desperately attempt to swallow more, knees sinking into the plush shag of the carpet beneath his work desk, your chin resting on his thigh as you sit at his feet. Your lips pucker tightly around the barrel as they suck, thick dribbles of saliva oozing from the corners of your mouth to drizzle off your jaw in shimmering cords, while a dutiful tongue curls around the heated metal in a protective, almost loving embrace, eager to siphon it further into your body. 

Sometimes it’s one of his shiny gold rings, pressed flat under your tongue as you suck it into your flesh during your daily outings, the metal clacking daintily against your teeth while you mindlessly toy with it, the tip of your tongue hooking through the band then circling the halo in a lazy, messy outline, encrusted salt melting against your tastebuds, staining your tongue with the zest of his sweat. 

Sometimes it’s his favourite bullet vibrator, soft pink silicon engraved with his full name and a smattering of cute little hearts buried deep in your cunt as you go about your day, never knowing when Val might turn it on, turn it up, but always knowing that he’s watching through the discreet cameras he had Vox plant all over your shared condo, always ready for that telltale video call that you better fucking answer right before you cum—and knowing that if you don’t, you’ll be suffering endless edging until Daddy gets home (and sometimes after that, too). 

He gets off on it just as much as you do, chuckling darkly when your knees knock together and your thighs tense, a sharp gasp spilling from your throat and nails chipping as your fingers curl around the edge of the kitchen counter, tauntingly asking if something is wrong, amorcito? as his face swims into view, sadism stretched sharply across his face, eyes glowing with the knowledge that he holds all of your pleasure, all of that power, in the silky palm of his hand, controlling it with the single flick of a notch. 

Sometimes it’s his custom-made heart-shaped studs and barbells, embellished with ostentatious V’s and filling all of your piercings, glinting in the late afternoon sun or heating under your clothes as he drags you from store to store, an arm tightly linked through your own—showing you off, his most cherished accessory, his prettiest prized possession, his best accomplishment.  

If he has to pick a favourite, though, it’s his fingers, one of his four hands wedged between your soft thighs, two fingers stuffing your cunt full and idly stroking the silky walls as he works—writing scripts or reviewing footage—and you play—mashing buttons on your pretty pink handheld or colouring a picture for him, book folded at the spine and balancing against your bent knees, little tongue playing with the point of your fang as you concentrate. 

And yet, despite the sensuality of it all, it isn’t even sexual half of the time, going far beyond the shallow pleasures of carnality. Because that secret, shared knowledge that there is a piece of him constantly inside of you—a private claim of ownership in the most intimate sense—provides a deep-seated comfort; a warm, dense calm that roots itself at the very core of your souls, that soothes anxieties and serves as a steadfast reminder: that you are owned, that he owns you, that you belong to one another, always. 

[ellavatorz]

Kiss me Plenty || c.b. x reader

summary: you play the “I can’t stop kissing you,” prank on colby.

tags/cw: implied smut, kisses (lots of ‘em), tooth-rotting sweet fluff, established relationship, youtuber(s) relationship.

a/n: there isn’t much for me to say except that I have a very strong yearn for colby to be kissed 24/7. if that man isn’t being kissed at every second of the day like he deserves, then the world is a cruel joke of a place.

and a huge thank you to everyone who enjoyed my last work, you guys are so sweet T.T happy holidays!

- - -

You have the camera set up first thing in the morning. It’s hidden out of visible-sight and is focused on Colby’s usual spot; his desk, where he normally films intros to videos amongst other tasks in respect to his shared channel with Sam.

The plot of your video to be filmed today is explained to your audience. All while a grin is spread on your lips. “Today’s goal is to annoy the shit out of Colby by kissing the hell out of him. I don’t know how he’ll react considering he’s hyper-affectionate as it is… but its also normally something he does rather than me initiating it. So maybe he’ll suspect something right off the bat? Who knows!”

By the time Colby has migrated from your shared bed to his desk, you’re just outside the door, anxiously prepared for whatever may come of the situation. Without much of an extravagant entrance, you move toward where he is and stand behind him. His eyes are glued to the screen and you pretend to seem intrigued by whatever it is he’s looking at.

A yawn escapes his mouth as he reaches an arm behind himself, subconsciously searching for any part of you to grasp onto and reel in. “Good morning, baby.” He rasps, last night’s rest still grappling at his body.

“Morning,” you reply, allowing him to pull you closer. You take this as an advantage to wrap your arms around his shoulders from where you now stand beside him. “What are you working on today?”

Colby’s gaze is still caught on the screen when his own arm is snaked around your waist. His eyes flicker from one end to another, clearly focused on whatever he’s reading. “Just emails right now. I have a bit of review and editing tasks to get done on the apparel website too..”

“Ah, I see.” You sigh. Your eyes flash a mischievous glint toward the camera before you begin leaning into his space to plant a soft peck to his cheek. “Do you need anything? Water? Snacks?”

Still enraptured by work, he acknowledges your question half-heartedly. “No, love. Thank you though.”

You feign a frown at his response and begin swaying his chair left to right when the hold on your waist is replaced by the computer’s mouse. He scrolls through several pages, reading what he can manage to as you continue rocking his chair.

“What time do you think you’ll be done?” You question innocently, though you both are aware that his work is capable of enveloping the entirety of his day. He shrugs, too focused to respond. You take this as an opportunity to leave a kiss on the crown of his head, moving behind his chair to loosely circle your arms around his neck. “I think I’m gonna finish my Christmas shopping while you’re still here.”

He hums and it’s evident that he isn’t regarding your presence to the full extent that it’s normally at. You huff and lean over his shoulder to litter butterfly-light kisses along the side of his neck. He unconsciously cranes his neck, providing you with more access to the skin.

“Shouldn’t you come and eat breakfast first? You haven’t eaten anything.” You ponder aloud, and this time, he shakes his head.

“I’m fine, babe.“ he mutters, eyes squinting in the analysis of his emails. Your tongue comes out to swipe at your lips, wetting them before leaning further into his space and kissing him straight on the mouth. At this, he cocks his head to the side, granting you access for more.

You continue to press into him, feeling accomplished when you realize that now he’s fully focused on you. The kiss is languid and feels good enough to praise, but before you can fully enjoy it, Colby is pulling away with a pitiful smile. You don’t even have to question him because he’s apologizing in an instant.

“I’m sorry, petal. I really have to get these things done. I promise as soon as I get this out of the way, I’m all yours.” He says and you can’t help but feel a tug at your heart. God, he really is the cutest. With the way his eyes glimmer at you, you’re confident with the idea that this man could un-alive your childhood pet and get away with it by just looking at you with those damned ocean eyes.

“Just a minute more?” shaking off the thought of ending the video early out of awe for your boyfriend, you continue your antics. You plead instead, batting your lashes tauntingly while returning to his side.

He blinks owlishly at you and ultimately accepts, pulling you into his lap by the hips and allowing you to straddle him comfortably. You grin, wasting no time and diving straight in for a passionate kiss. His hands snake around you to land on your ass, giving a gentle squeeze to which you groan into his lips for.

For a second, you’re convinced that this moment would last for an eternity with the pace that he’s taking. Theres not a doubt that he’d absolutely waste an entire day just to kiss you, and in this case you want this to be one of those days. His kiss is smooth, gentle, yet fierce and meaningful. Your hands move on their own accord; one pressing into the broad of his chest and the other entangling into his hair.

There’s a moan serenading your ears after a few rough tugs to the strands on his head. However, before you know it, he’s giving you one last playful tug to your lip and placing a good space between the two of you. While you’re grateful for this moment to breathe, you also fall clueless as to why the hell he stopped.. until, of course, you remember that you’re filming a video, and he’s working. Hello!

“Do you know how distracting you can be?” Colby chuckles, and you take a few seconds to take in his appearance; hair tussled, eyes dark and dilated, lips swollen with a few teeth indentations caused due to your own accord. You almost want to spend the rest of the video admiring your work, but conclude that the show must go on.

“What ever do you mean, coleslaw?” You quip, pushing against his hands from where they’ve been placed on your shoulders to distance you from him.

He immediately motions for you to get off of him, his hands already shoving at your chest. “Coleslaw? You’re done. Get off of me.”

You laugh and reluctantly remove yourself from his lap only to make an attempt at lifting him up with you. As if knowing exactly what you’re about to do, he drops his weight into his chair. You grunt, tugging on his arms with all your might. He doesn’t budge.

“Baby,” you whine, and add a childish stomp for emphasis. “Can’t you just take today off to spend time with me? Please?”

He falls limp at your words, tossing his head back against the chair’s headrest and huffs in thought. “We already hung out yesterday. The entire day! What do you want to do anyway?”

Pouting, you take advantage of his loose posture to throne his lap once more. Again, circling his neck with your arms and trying to pull him impossibly closer. Though, he does his best to keep a stoic expression and an emotional stiffness to prevent persuasion.

“I miss you,” the words seemingly fall on deaf ears as he remains unfazed, eyes wandering around the room; in other words, anywhere but you. “..just wanted to kiss you today.. but i guess you don’t want my kisses. guess I’ll just find someone else who does—“

His sigh mimics one of defeat. His hold on your tightens in protectiveness, as if afraid you may be taken from him. You begin to feel that bubble of mischief rising to your cheeks, tugging your lips into a smile. Yes! It’s working!

“One more kiss, and i seriously have to get back to work, okay?” He gambles, and suddenly your smile is fading into a frown. He directs his stare back to you, a small quirk at the corner of his mouth. “What, isn’t that what you want? Take it or leave it, baby.”

You bare your teeth in grimace, eyes twinkling with competitiveness before you dive in. Planting your lips on his, you nip and lap at the opening he gives you. Without much hesitance, he’s reciprocating in eagerness. Your tongues dance in the heat of the moment, teeth clashing with force. It’s clear how much you two want each other. And it’s even more evident just how far you’re willing to go for it.

“God, what’s gotten into you?” He manages to slur through the daze you’ve entrapped him in. The intimacy in the kiss exceeds even deeper when you apply pressure against his crotch, gaining a desperate reaction in return. He whimpers against your lips, bringing you impossibly closer to his form as he ruts against you.

“just.. really.. want.. you.” Your voice tapers off into a moan with each breath you take in between. And that’s when you realize. Oh shit. he’s hard.

A probing feeling at your clothed entrance is all it takes for you to pull back and freeze, hands instantly darting for the camera from where it was hidden just a few minutes ago. You focus the rest of the footage toward you, regarding your boyfriend’s lustful daze as a sign to come clean. Placing one hand on his cheek while the other holds the camera, you give a breathy and worried giggle.

“Are you—“ you start, motioning toward the evident tent in his sweats. His eyes waver from your face for a mere second to assess the situation before returning to you. “Colby?”

“Is this is a prank?” He mumbles, cocking his head toward the camera in your hand. You nod, curtaining your smile by placing a palm over your mouth. “Oh,”

“Colby, It’s a prank. I didn’t expect it to go this far!” You admit, and suddenly the giddiness you had been shielding from escaping you throughout the video is released. You laugh in embarrassment. “Oh my gosh. Guys, if you saw anything…. No you didn’t. Haha! But seriously, my poor baby suffered today so if you enjoyed the video, be sure to like and subscribe. Until next time, bye!”

The moment the video comes to an end, Colby is cursing you up and down for the scheme you had hidden from him. However, his scolding shortly concludes with a soft, and admittedly disappointing, “—had me all excited..”

“Oh my poor baby,” you coo, both of you now free from an audience’s presence via camera. Holding his face in your hands, you apply pressure to his cheeks, forcing his lips to pucker when you go in for a gentle kiss. “‘M sorry. The fans really wanted to see what you’d do.”

“Well now they know, so can we please not do that again. you’re very irresistible and convincing you know that?”

You press a gentle peck to his cheek and huff. “Yeah I’ve heard it a few times from my boyfriend.”

“Wow. I feel bad for your boyfriend.” Colby jokes playfully.

“Do you? Hm. Guess I should be a little nicer to him.”

“Maybe.” He pouts his lips toward you, proceeding to lift you from where the two of you sit on his office chair. Your legs wrap around his middle as he travels toward your shared bed. “I think your boyfriend deserves it.”

“I think so too,” you smile. Continuing from where you had left off, you both spend the rest of the morning doing exactly as you begged for; spending the day together. And making out, of course. And maybe a little more than that.

[jonberry555]

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds - The Broken Circle REVIEW

My Review of season premiere of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Season 2. Episode 1: The Broken Circle. "A distress call from Lt. Noonien-Singh compels Spock to disobey orders and take the U.S.S. Enterprise and its crew into disputed space, risking renewed hostilities with the Klingons in a bid to aid their shipmate."

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Google reneged on the monopolistic bargain

I'm on tour with my new novel The Bezzle! Catch me TONIGHT in SALT LAKE CITY (Feb 21, Weller Book Works) and TOMORROW in SAN DIEGO (Feb 22, Mysterious Galaxy). After that, it's LA, Seattle, Portland, Phoenix and more!

A funny thing happened on the way to the enshittocene: Google – which astonished the world when it reinvented search, blowing Altavista and Yahoo out of the water with a search tool that seemed magic – suddenly turned into a pile of shit.

Google's search results are terrible. The top of the page is dominated by spam, scams, and ads. A surprising number of those ads are scams. Sometimes, these are high-stakes scams played out by well-resourced adversaries who stand to make a fortune by tricking Google:

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/phone-numbers-airlines-listed-google-directed-scammers-rcna94766

But often these scams are perpetrated by petty grifters who are making a couple bucks at this. These aren't hyper-resourced, sophisticated attackers. They're the SEO equivalent of script kiddies, and they're running circles around Google:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

Google search is empirically worsening. The SEO industry spends every hour that god sends trying to figure out how to sleaze their way to the top of the search results, and even if Google defeats 99% of these attempts, the 1% that squeak through end up dominating the results page for any consequential query:

https://downloads.webis.de/publications/papers/bevendorff_2024a.pdf

Google insists that this isn't true, and if it is true, it's not their fault because the bad guys out there are so numerous, dedicated and inventive that Google can't help but be overwhelmed by them:

https://searchengineland.com/is-google-search-getting-worse-389658

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Google has long maintained that its scale is the only thing that keeps us safe from the scammers and spammers who would otherwise overwhelm any lesser-resourced defender. That's why it was so imperative that they pursue such aggressive growth, buying up hundreds of companies and integrating their products with search so that every mobile device, every ad, every video, every website, had one of Google's tendrils in it.

This is the argument that Google's defenders have put forward in their messaging on the long-overdue antitrust case against Google, where we learned that Google is spending $26b/year to make sure you never try another search engine:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-10-27/google-paid-26-3-billion-to-be-default-search-engine-in-2021

Google, we were told, had achieved such intense scale that the normal laws of commercial and technological physics no longer applied. Take security: it's an iron law that "there is no security in obscurity." A system that is only secure when its adversaries don't understand how it works is not a secure system. As Bruce Schneier says, "anyone can design a security system that they themselves can't break. That doesn't mean it works – just that it works for people stupider than them."

And yet, Google operates one of the world's most consequential security system – The Algorithm (TM) – in total secrecy. We're not allowed to know how Google's ranking system works, what its criteria are, or even when it changes: "If we told you that, the spammers would win."

Well, they kept it a secret, and the spammers won anyway.

A viral post by Housefresh – who review air purifiers – describes how Google's algorithmic failures, which send the worst sites to the top of the heap, have made it impossible for high-quality review sites to compete:

https://housefresh.com/david-vs-digital-goliaths/

You've doubtless encountered these bad review sites. Search for "Best ______ 2024" and the results are a series of near-identical lists, strewn with Amazon affiliate links. Google has endlessly tinkered with its guidelines and algorithmic weights for review sites, and none of it has made a difference. For example, when Google instituted a policy that reviewers should "discuss the benefits and drawbacks of something, based on your own original research," sites that had previously regurgitated the same lists of the same top ten Amazon bestsellers "peppered their pages with references to a ‘rigorous testing process,’ their ‘lab team,’ subject matter experts ‘they collaborated with,’ and complicated methodologies that seem impressive at a cursory look."

But these grandiose claims – like the 67 air purifiers supposedly tested in Better Homes and Gardens's Des Moines lab – result in zero in-depth reviews and no published data. Moreover, these claims to rigorous testing materialized within a few days of Google changing its search ranking and said that high rankings would be reserved for sites that did testing.

Most damning of all is how the Better Homes and Gardens top air purifiers perform in comparison to the – extensively documented – tests performed by Housefresh: "plagued by high-priced and underperforming units, Amazon bestsellers with dubious origins (that also underperform), and even subpar devices from companies that market their products with phrases like ‘the Tesla of air purifiers.’"

One of the top ranked items on BH&G comes from Molekule, a company that filed for bankruptcy after being sued for false advertising. The model BH&G chose was ranked "the worst air purifier tested" by Wirecutter and "not living up to the hype" by Consumer Reports. Either BH&G's rigorous testing process is a fiction that they infused their site with in response to a Google policy change, or BH&G absolutely sucks at rigorous testing.

BH&G's competitors commit the same sins – literally, the exact same sins. Real Simple's reviews list the same photographer and the photos seem to have been taken in the same place. They also list the same person as their "expert." Real Simple has the same corporate parent as BH&G: Dotdash Meredith. As Housefresh shows, there's a lot of Dotdash Meredith review photos that seem to have been taken in the same place, by the same person.

But the competitors of these magazines are no better. Buzzfeed lists 22 air purifiers, including that crapgadget from Molekule. Their "methodology" is to include screenshots of Amazon reviews.

A lot of the top ranked sites for air purifiers are once-great magazines that have been bought and enshittified by private equity giants, like Popular Science, which began as a magazine in 1872 and became a shambling zombie in 2023, after its PE owners North Equity LLC decided its googlejuice was worth more than its integrity and turned it into a metastatic chumbox of shitty affiliate-link SEO-bait. As Housefresh points out, the marketing team that runs PopSci makes a lot of hay out of the 150 years of trust that went into the magazine, but the actual reviews are thin anaecdotes, unbacked by even the pretense of empiricism (oh, and they loooove Molekule).

Some of the biggest, most powerful, most trusted publications in the world have a side-hustle in quietly producing SEO-friendly "10 Best ___________ of 2024" lists: Rolling Stone, Forbes, US News and Report, CNN, New York Magazine, CNN, CNET, Tom's Guide, and more.

Google literally has one job: to detect this kind of thing and crush it. The deal we made with Google was, "You monopolize search and use your monopoly rents to ensure that we never, ever try another search engine. In return, you will somehow distinguish between low-effort, useless nonsense and good information. You promised us that if you got to be the unelected, permanent overlord of all information access, you would 'organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.'"

They broke the deal.

Companies like CNET used to do real, rigorous product reviews. As Housefresh points out, CNET once bought an entire smart home and used it to test products. Then Red Ventures bought CNET and bet that they could sell the house, switch to vibes-based reviewing, and that Google wouldn't even notice. They were right.

https://www.cnet.com/home/smart-home/welcome-to-the-cnet-smart-home/

Google downranks sites that spend money and time on reviews like Housefresh and GearLab, and crams botshittened content mills like BH&G into our eyeballs instead.

In 1558, Thomas Gresham coined (ahem) Gresham's Law: "Bad money drives out good." When counterfeit money circulates in the economy, anyone who gets a dodgy coin spends it as quickly as they can, because the longer you hold it, the greater the likelihood that someone will detect the fraud and the coin will become worthless. Run this system long enough and all the money in circulation is funny money.

An internet run by Google has its own Gresham's Law: bad sites drive out good. It's not just that BH&G can "test" products at a fraction of the cost of Housefresh – through the simple expedient of doing inadequate tests or no tests at all – so they can put a lot more content up that Housefresh. But that alone wouldn't let them drive Housefresh off the front page of Google's search results. For that, BH&G has to mobilize some of their savings from the no test/bad test lab to do real rigorous science: science in defeating Google's security-through-obscurity system, which lets them command the front page despite publishing worse-than-useless nonsense.

Google has lost the spam wars. In response to the plague of botshit clogging Google search results, the company has invested in…making more botshit:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/16/tweedledumber/#easily-spooked

Last year, Google did a $70b stock buyback. They also laid off 12,000 staffers (whose salaries could have been funded for 27 years by that stock buyback). They just laid off thousands more employees.

That wasn't the deal. The deal was that Google would get a monopoly, and they would spend their monopoly rents to be so good that you could just click "I'm feeling lucky" and be teleported to the very best response to your query. A company that can't figure out the difference between a scam like Better Homes and Gardens and a rigorous review site like Housefresh should be pouring every spare dime it brings in into fixing this problem. Not buying default search status on every platform so that we never try another search engine: they should be fixing their shit.

When Google admits that it's losing the war to these kack-handed spam-farmers, that's frustrating. When they light $26b/year on fire making sure you don't ever get to try anything else, that's very frustrating. When they vaporize seventy billion dollars on financial engineering and shoot one in ten engineers, that's outrageous.

Google's scale has transcended the laws of business physics: they can sell an ever-degrading product and command an ever-greater share of our economy, even as their incompetence dooms any decent, honest venture to obscurity while providing fertile ground – and endless temptation – for scammers.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Video: JOVM Mainstays GIFT Shares Brooding "Later"

New Video: JOVM Mainstays GIFT Shares Brooding "Later" @grandstandhq @giftbandnyc @capturedtracks @jaclynulman

JOVM mainstays GIFT — TJ Freda (vocals, guitar), multi-instrumentalist Jessica Gurewitz, Kallan Campbell (bass), multi-instrumentalist Justin Hrabovsky and Gabe Camarano (drums) — formed just before the COVID-19 pandemic. And although 2020 wasn’t exactly the most ideal time to start a band, especially for a group of musicians with varying and diverse roots and professional backgrounds, Freda…