#Very much a 'look how far we have come moment' that is rather subtle but enjoyable.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sublime Equine.

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[izvmimi]

cw: spoilers for the end of dr. stone! smut near the end. minors dni. angst at the beginning. reader implied to not be from japan.

Your subtle gift of premonition truly never fails you, and you realize so once more when you're crowded around Senku's laboratory with the remainder of Yuzuriha and Taiju's closest wedding guests and staring up at the monstrous contraption Senku is designating as a time machine.

While the remainder of the party is in curious astonishment, the uneasy feeling that's been sitting heavily in your chest since the morning of the wedding only solidifies further. 

Now you know why you woke up sick to your stomach on what should be a happy day.

Tsukasa stands close to you, pensive as always, thinking before he adds his own commentary, ever so careful with his words. There's a small smile on his face, and you read that as awe and amusement at Senku's relentless pursuit of scientific advancement; something he had once tried to suppress, he's come to appreciate, and while you'd normally be pleased with how far he's come in that respect, in this very moment it feels like a betrayal. 

A time machine would change everything.

Truly everything, and the selfish part of you scorns it. 

Tsukasa finds your hand besides him, still mulling over the details as Senku explains his roadmap to the group, and squeezes it gently without looking. Your corsage of pink flowers brushes against the sleeve of his suit, and you watch a few petals fall. Suddenly you are far too overwhelmed, and would much rather run of the room, but when you see hope warm Tsukasa's brown eyes, you hold in your unease as best you can. 

"Senku really is amazing, isn't he?" you say through a smile that should come easier than it does. Tsukasa hasn't turned to return your smile yet, still watching the machine, eyes wide. 

"He really is."

---

That evening, Tsukasa in his contrarily roundabout but very direct way of speaking, reaffirms his intention to marry you someday. In a small way, you might as well be married - you're inseparable, you live together with Mirai who calls you big sister and means it every single time, and he makes you feel his love every time he holds you in the dark, and presses deep into you, relishing in the sound of his name as it falls off his lips.

Something big if you want it. Something small will also suffice. Something that makes everything even more real, he says to you, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. Pillow talk should make you feel warm, warm as the liquid seeping between your legs. Warm as his arms. Warm as the sensation of his tongue in your mouth, on your skin. 

"Tsukasa," you finally speak up in the dark.

He pulls you closer, and you pause before the words bubble up inside you and force their way out -

"I don't want to lose you."

A lamp flickers on and Tsukasa takes in your tear-stained face with as much alarm allotted for someone so naturally stoic. His palm takes your cheek and rubs it gently, the other arm pulling you in closer to press against him. Your face buries into his chest, and there you let yourself really cry.

He lets you tremble in his embrace for a few more moments, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head. He has no idea what you're talking about, because how can he when you've remained in your head all day?

Once your sniffles have slowed, he pulls back so that he can look at you in the eyes again, making sure you're still within an arm's reach.

"How can you lose me when I've never left?" he asks. 

You swallow, and then decide if you must sound awful, now is the time.

"Without de-petrification, there's no way we would have met."

Tsukasa tenses for a moment, which makes your heart sink, but then he pulls you closer, then on top of him. Sliding upwards so that his back is propped up by the headboard, he strokes your forehead. He mulls the thought over for a moment, and you look up into his beautiful face, your heart pounding in anticipation. 

"I'd find you," he says, confidently, and you're stunned practically silent. Simple as that.

You blink for a moment, surprised by his answer, then find your face growing hot.

"What do you mean, 'you'd find me'? We lived on the opposite sides of the world? You would have been famous and I just... some girl with some normal job, and-"

He kisses you again to interrupt you, then presses his forehead to yours.

"Trust me. I'd find you."

You can feel your breath halt and he smiles.

"You don't believe me, do you?" he says. His gaze is soft, and he grins wider, confident, flipping you over so that he's over top of you. You can feel your face growing hot again but for a different reason now. Sucking in a breath, you wrinkle your nose.

"Were you gonna pluck me from my grad school classroom?" you ask him.

"If I must," he says. He kisses your neck, then parts your legs to wrap them around his waist. Your eyelashes flutter.

"Unrealistic," you reply. 

"I'd find you," he says again. His fingers intertwine with yours as he rubs against your center. You sigh, but he's taken all of the worry out of you and replaced it with playful jest. He's so good at this, the way he validates your fears, but doesn't allow you to feel afraid because he lacks that fear, and is always strong enough, good enough, brave enough to protect you. Even from yourself.

"Would you send me special signals through MMA's greatest knockouts montages on Youtube?"

This time he actually laughs, falling back on his heels.

"Yes," he answers. "Whatever it takes."

He's hard again, and the heavy thickness slaps on your pubic bone, and you tense, your heartbeat quickening, your mouth drying in want. He runs his hand through his hair to free the strands sticking to his face before he descends on you again, the other hand gripping the base of his cock to line up with your entrance.

He blows air from his nose, then pulls one of your legs over his shoulder. His teeth flash at you - he is your perfect, sweet, confident love of your life, and all of your worries cease.

"You should be less worried about universes where we don't meet and more concerned about the fact that you can't escape me in any timeline."

He fills you up, your back arching as his hands grip around your waist.

"You're always mine to love."

[danieyells]

Sure Haku can have big balls but we all agree Alan Thoma and Jiro have big dicks? But not like slightly above average but rather 20 minutes foreplay just to loosen up but still be a fair stretch, big as in a fair amount of lube is needed to even slip the head in and might need more to fully thrust inside

You only need that kind of prep if you're a coward!

THEY ARE RATHER LARGE MEN y'know as far as the bishie style goes. It'd be pretty proportionate of them to be well hung and i'm all about sicknasty size difference and distention if you've got a small enough partner--

Fortunately all three of them are. . .idk graceful enough not to be cruel about it.

Alan is definitely inexperienced and he's already so fucking scared of harming his partner he would just. . .whenever they try and get him in bed he just goes "We can't. Sorry." Fortunately he's not the type to, y'know, beat around the bush so if they ask him he'll explain. . .and if they say they wanna try anyway he'll give it a go but he'll be ready to stop the moment they seem uncomfortable or in pain. Which means a lot of reassurances that it's fine, it's fine, keep going. It'll be a lot of convincing, but he'll be as slow and gentle as he can! His partner would probably have to do a lot of leading. . . . Alternatively he'd be all about getting them off and appreciating their body and when they wanna return the favor he hesitates then says they don't have to. He can take care of it himself if they don't want to. And they're like 'why would I not want--oh' when he pulls out this monster.

Tohma has much more experience and is much more confident overall. When things reach that point with his partner he's a little more direct. Maybe he grinds against them to let them get a subtle feel long before the first time they do it, or he just takes their hand and lets them have a feel for themself. "Do you understand? If we take that route, I'm going to need a fair bit of your time. . . ." He knows just how to prepare them, just how to stretch them out, and he makes certain to pleasure them the whole way--and if they're a little limp from the pleasure buildup then. . .that'll just make it easier to put it in at the end. He might hold them up and gently guide them down onto him. . .use them as a little fleshlight once they've gotten used to it enough.

Jiro isn't even fully aware of that he's particularly large. Like, numerically he is, he's studied anatomy before and he's seen Yuri naked and he's a lot smaller(well, Yuri's smaller in every aspect) but it somehow hadn't occurred to him that it could be a problem. Meanwhile the one who knows is Yuri--and when Jiro's partner shows up, Yuri just looks at them in irritation. "Ah, yes, Jiro did say he had plans today after his treatment." And Yuri just thrusts a particularly large, unlabeled jar of gelatinous fluid at them, telling them not to take too much time because they are very busy and Jiro being occupied is a hindrance. And Jiro's like "oh, Yuri said we'd need a lot. I've read that too much can reduce the pleasure, though. I don't care either way, so just use as much as you want." (Not that he can't feel it or anything, he's just. . .indifferent for the most part. It doesn't bother him if he doesn't come, he'll take care of it later if it's a problem.) And of course they understand why they thought they'd need so much when Jiro whips it out. Jiro's very analytical about the whole thing, once he realizes that hm, yes, this won't fit, but with enough elasticity--he's got no problem figuring out what should be done to prepare. The massive jar of lube may or may not be experimental but it does the job with great efficiency. . .turns out it was an experimental gel for anomalous ailments where the afflicted turn to stone or wood with the intention of relaxing muscles and joints and regaining flexibility, but it works great as a lubricant! Jiro's also not very experienced and his tendency to experiment means he might be a little rough just to see how it all works, but he's considerate enough of his partner not to go too hard once he realizes oh that hurts, huh. Kinda antithetical to the evening's plans.

[salty-an-disco]

For ParaCold... Pre-Relationship 6, General 6, General 13, Love 11, Love 13, and/or Domestic Life 12? (Yes I am asking a lot, feel free to only answer one of these if you'd prefer! I just love your thoughts on them always~)

(I freakin' knew you'd come at me with the asking sheet lol /aff /pos)

Ship Questions Redux

Pre-relationship 6. What was their flirting stage like?

Veeeeery awkward. At least from Paranoid's perspective; the moment she started consciously flirting, she felt like a shelf full of glass jars constantly shaking and dropping everything onto the floor. She'd go out of her way to compliment Cold's additions to any convo or their appearance, all while sweating bullets and feeling like a giant fuckin' buffoon.

Cold, meanwhile, never registered anything he did as 'flirting', but when they saw Para actively flirting, it found the sight very amusing, and started going out of its way to compliment her back and even say some suggestive lines (cue Paranoid.exe stopping working and going into overdrive)

General 6. How do their personalities complement each other? How do they clash?

I mean– we already talked about this at lenght like aikskdmdjdmd

Cold is uniquely equipped to help Paranoid calm her nerves and look at situations with a more pragmatic view, while Para can make Cold consider being less reckless if only for other sakes, how they can read each other, the way their actions often clash but also helps them grow– aaaaaaaagggghhhh

General 13. Which one thinks they aren't good enough for the other, if at all?

Oh, they both have their own form of Imposter Syndrome.

Para knows she can unlikable to others, with how intense and inquisitive she can be, and she knows it's hard to approach her when she's already expecting the worst from others. And that's fine!! She can live like that, it's safer if others don't even try to approach cuz she seems a bit too prickly. And she often wonders if Cold would've felt the same if they weren't born from the same being–

Cold knows it's difficult. Knows others find it unsettling or menacing. And it's fine with that, really, it's a flattery that so many people think of it as an uniquely evil being. And Paranoid is no exception, she was definitely afraid of it in multiple occasions, but she still puts it aside to try and work with them. They're sure she wouldn't want anything to do with it if it didn't insistently follow her and got into her personal space, but it selfishly wants her attention. And if they're evil and scary and dangerous anyway, why bother if it's being a little selfish too?

Love 11. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

I like the idea of Cold calling Para 'Dots' cuz of her plumage patterns. A cuter way to look at the markings that triggers Paranoid so much. She was very taken aback by it when it was first used, but didn't mind it and even came to like it.

I think Para definitely calls Cold some of the many nicknames the others gave her to tease her. 'Cool Guy' is one of her favorites for this. Avoids names like 'heartless' tho, cuz she noticed how those seem to actually get to Cold (it's very subtle, but she learned to read him at this point).

Love 13. How do they make up after an argument? Who is the first to apologize?

Depends on the argument, and how much one was at fault over the other. Para definitely apologizes as soon as she realizes she was being unfair/going a bit too far. Cold doesn't verbally apologize– almost never, but it does change its behavior when they notice how it upsets others and tries to make up for their actions through other ways.

Domestic Life 12. Who likes to dance with, or sing for, the other?

I know many have Cold with good singing voice hcs, but personally, I think he'd rather whistle than sing. And they have a very haunting but weirdly beautiful whistle, and can make many melodies with it. Para finds it weirdly comforting, so Cold will sometimes whistle for her.

[hatredmadeofgold]

Revenge with a vengeance — The tragedy of Sam and Raiden’s canon relationship dynamic

Alternate title: SamuRaiden is THAT deep, actually.

Side note by author: This essay will get an update eventually since I wrote it before playing the Japanese version of the game.

Although MGR does not have as complex or well researched character lore as the main series, Samuraiden as a relationship is a lot more complex than common fandom tropes and interpretations of their relationship suggest. I don’t mind it when people make funny/meme content about these two, since MGS/R does come with its own flair of humour, it’s very exhausting for me as well as a few others I know who enjoy this ship for it to be reduced to just that — a joke. MGR being perceived as ‘goofy’ is mainly due to how poorly some of the character lines translate from Japanese to English, as well as it being more or less evident that either budget, time or both ran out over the course of development, hence the second half of the game feels rushed and underdeveloped. In fact, the great majority of MGR fans do not understand how serious, dark, hopeless and dystopian its message really is and that is saddening.

The world isn’t black and white, neither is it in MGS/R. Sam isn’t the just the villain (never has been, by the way), Raiden isn’t the just the hero (never has been either, by the way), I’d say it’s rather “depends on who you ask”. They are on opposite sides due to the circumstances of how they meet and not because they wouldn’t get along. Quite the opposite is true, in fact, if they would have met before 2016, they might have become friends based on the fact of how much they can actually relate to each other in many different aspects of their personalities, interests and experiences.

Before we get to fight Armstrong as well as during the Sam DLC (also through very subtle hints during their first fight on the train) we learn that Sam is just like Raiden and that Desperado forced him to become a shadow of who he once was, going against his own morals and values and only Raiden reminding him of who he truly was before Armstrong defeated him 2 years prior, ultimately crushing his spirit — he had no other choice, either die there as a failure or continue to live and become Desperado’s/Armstrong’s puppet [until someone would eventually defeat Armstrong and free Sam from his never ending nightmare — Did I already mention that Sam is a really fucking tragic character?]. Sam joining Armstrong’s laughter at the end of DLC is a reaction of fear, not agreement with him or enjoyment. And if there’s one thing that both MGS and MGR are really good at, it’s the accurate and very realistic portrayal of the human psyche under stressful and traumatic situations.

On the other side we can tell from Raiden’s reaction when holding Murasama after killing Sam that he, for once in the entire damn series, questions if that was the right choice he made. We know that Raiden enjoys inflicting pain and suffering onto others, he enjoys murder — but he did not feel that way when he killed Sam. It’s quite the opposite. It’s very subtle and if you’re not very observant like me, easy to miss. But the way his voice turns a bit softer, how his eyes look listless, almost sad; he regrets it. When Blade Wolf asks Raiden if that outcome was really necessary, he does not answer him, because he knows that Wolf is right, it wasn’t. And Raiden pretty much hates himself for it. To his team he confidently says that Sam isn’t a problem anymore since he killed him, but that’s not the same Raiden that he’s that moment in the badlands (which is another implication to me that Raiden doesn’t fully trust his teammates, although they are friends; he has major trust issues and the only emotions he shares with them is either anger or amusement but nothing outside of that). The way he sheathes Murasama is a way to honour him, and as far as I remember this is a ritual to honour a samurai’s defeat or death.

I believe that there has been a silent understanding between the two swordsmen that they respect each other from the very beginning, but they do not say it out loud. This is a case of “show, don’t tell” but also something I suspect has something to do with the game being written by Japanese authors, and Japanese is a high context language, meaning, very little words are needed to get the meaning across, and I think this may also translate into the words these two exchange with each other compared to how they truly feel about the other. Besides, they probably couldn’t truly speak honestly with each other in the first place because of the unfortunate conditions of how they met and were (more or less) forced to fight each other until one of them would eventually succumb to the other’s blade. Codecs and conversations were most likely recorded by their respective employers, and I highly suspect that in Sam’s case, he was even monitored 24/7 by Desperado since he never was an official member of the Winds of Destruction in the first place, and they didn’t fully trust him either.

At the very end of the game during the fight with Armstrong, Sam’s message plays, and we can hear how Sam also speaks with a different voice to Blade Wolf compared to everyone else (and technically, indirectly to Raiden but I cannot confirm or deny that Sam was aware that Raiden would ever hear this playback), it’s a note softer; Raiden learns the truth, which confirms to him that he was right about Sam after all, that they are alike, that they respect each other, and that there was more to Sam’s story than him being a part of Desperado, he doesn’t know what exactly, but he knows now for sure that Sam was not the person he originally believed he was (and lets his team still believe he thinks that way).

Would Raiden truly say Sam’s catchphrase “Let’s dance” before fighting and ultimately killing Armstrong, if he wouldn’t have been going through a gradual process between originally hating Sam to respecting and liking him but unable to ever express that to him or anyone else?

Would he ever admit to anyone what kind of emotional impact Sam had on him, besides the anger and hatred he openly expressed towards him?

Doubt so. Highly fucking doubt so.

Because sharing his true feelings is a liability to him, and Raiden learnt as a very young child that vulnerable feelings such as sadness or guilt would be used against him, so his psyche is conditioned to discard them immediately. But Sam made him feel those things in their full extent and Raiden is fully aware of that, but he would never share with anybody that he ever felt that way about Sam.

He may or may not take those feelings to his grave.

From Sam’s side, we can only guess how he truly felt about Raiden, but we can only guess by the way he hesitated to finish him off on the train during the prologue, the way he smiled at Blade Wolf before his death (which might be likely another case of a silent understanding between Sam and Wolf that the latter would share with Raiden what he knows about Sam or the playback of their conversation itself, if not both) as well as everything he says with giving Murasama to Raiden. Of course, Sam couldn’t even say out loud to Blade Wolf or Raiden that he planned to give Raiden his sword to take down Armstrong, and he had to be as vague as possible with the information that he shared with the robot dog. Not by choice, no. Most likely because he was being watched 24/7, he knew that Desperado nor Armstrong didn’t fully trust him and if they knew about his plans, they’d make sure to finish him off before Raiden had the chance to do so. Sam knew he would die, and that it would be the only way he would ever be free from Armstrong’s grasp. So he chose suicide through Raiden’s blade, and gave him his sword to finish what he could not back then.

The game’s title is REVENGEANCE — Revenge with a vengeance.

They both translate to the same thing in my native language German, but there’s a subtle yet important difference between these two nouns.

“Revenge means when you get back at your enemy who is responsible for hurting you and vengeance is the punishment inflicted or retribution exacted for an injury or wrong.”

But it was never Armstrong who hurt or wronged Raiden in the first place, and we know he’s an essentially selfish person who does not really care all that much about politics, religion or anything like that and he only fights for himself (I wrote in my essay about Raiden’s ASPD that his motivation to save these children from becoming cyborg child soldiers is a trauma response first and his rather lose and grey morality second) and the few people he cares about, so Armstrong being the one one who ordered to get N’mani killed is not the reason Raiden went after him or was that passionate about getting revenge or retribution on him either.

It was Sam who hurt him — wounded both his body and soul during the prologue — but when Raiden got his revenge, he realised that revenge is empty, that he didn’t feel better, and that he regrets killing him, then we get to the vengeance part. From the moment Raiden held Sam’s Murasama in the badlands, he felt no more hatred towards him and the emotional impact his death had on him made Sam transition from a person he hated to one of the few people Raiden truly cares about.

Armstrong may be the villain of the story, but the person who wanted revenge on him never had been Raiden. It was Sam. Always had been Sam, because it was Sam who got hurt by Armstrong, it was Sam who wanted to get revenge on Armstrong for defeating him and crushing his spirit, it was Sam who wanted to punish Armstrong for making him into a shadow of who he once was, making Sam speak about ideals he didn’t truly believe in (like, who the FUCK even thinks that Sam truly believed a single fucking word of that, because I for sure as hell can tell he never did, he either gaslit himself into believing that for 2 years until he met Raiden or only parroted whatever the fuck Armstrong wanted him to say so he would not get killed on the spot).

Revenge and vengeance are very deep feelings and actions of hatred, feelings that are too deep and complex to be associated with morality, hence why I highly doubt that the title of the game is directed at Armstrong from Raiden’s side at all. That between Raiden and Armstrong is not nearly as personal as it has been between Sam and Armstrong. Raiden eradicating Desperado and Armstrong had been about justice [for the kids being killed and their organs sold], not revenge.

"I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now… Now I'm not so sure. And besides, this isn't my sword."

But when he says this, followed by “Let’s dance”, it became deeply personal for Raiden as well. Because he could confirm that his feelings about Sam had been right, and that Sam wanted to get revenge on Armstrong.

Raiden decides to avenge him, because Sam couldn’t get revenge himself.

Although Sam never told him directly, Raiden understood him from his actions alone, those subtle hints, reading between the lines what the other truly felt and wanted the whole time, eventually passing the “torch” — his sword — to Raiden, to finish what he could not. So while Raiden’s own reasons to finish off Armstrong were (mostly) justice for the innocent lives he destroyed and planned to continue to destroy, they also became feelings of hatred and anger — Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong.

In the end — revenge with a vengeance — is what Sam could get on Armstrong only through Raiden, after Raiden enacted his onto Sam.

Now the question is — if Raiden would’ve never killed Sam, by the chance of him recognising earlier than in canon that revenge is empty and that he won’t feel better after killing him, would Sam go by his example and abandon his revenge plans on Armstrong as well? Or would they fight Armstrong together and get justice?

We unfortunately can only speculate (or write stories about it).

What we can tell from canon though, is that Raiden’s (= Sam’s) passionate feelings of hatred towards Armstrong quickly vanish the moment he finished him off, and he looks into the camera with an empty expression, covered in blood and a crushed cybernetic heart in his hand.

And I think that is exactly what he feels — empty.

Because again, he got revenge and avenged Sam, led by what Sam felt, Sam’s feelings became Raiden’s feelings during that fight with Armstrong. But once that was gone, there’s nothing left. In the case of killing Armstrong, he doesn’t feel remorse or guilt. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Because revenge is empty.

Raiden defeated his enemies — but at what cost?

By killing Sam, he realised what he had actually lost — a potential friend (or more), someone who understood him in a way that no one else did. Perhaps he thought or felt that, if he avenges Sam, making Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong into his own, he might be able to deal with that loss better, but to no avail.

Because, and I can speak from experience as a person with the same mental health issues as Raiden, that emptiness is worse than regret.

MGR’s ending also implies that Raiden abandons his family and friends to fight his own war; essentially taking the same path that Sam once took in his past, ending up in a personal war and revenge act that knows no end, making one bad choice after the next. If Raiden hasn’t already become the villain of his own story by the end of MGR, then it’s just a matter of time until he becomes that.

And the cycle of violence continues, until the story repeats itself, over and over and over and over and over.

Did I mention already that there is a myth around Murasama being a cursed sword, that will drive its user either slowly insane or make them commit suicide if it doesn’t get a regular ‘blood sacrifice’?

—

“I really enjoy murder, but that one, that I will regret for the rest of my life.”

[oldhalloweentape]

if it isn't too much trouble or rush, perhaps a request about the first kiss with vinny santorini?

💐💣Vinny (atlantis) x reader First Kiss Headcanons💥🌹

(Yeah so um… Sorry guys for making you wait for so long on something fresher— I’m just going through it when it comes to my writing, incredibly unconfident in my skills… But I saw how many of you guys liked ‘em. For that I am extremely thankful, I love being able to provide where not many people would get it. Anyways, sorry for the long rant, here it is 💖)

(Edit : all of my headcanons are gender nonspecific when it comes to the reader, and it usually will be if no one specified)

Alright, your first kiss with each other, this sign of love transpires shortly after he overcomes the whole frigid stage of your relationship at the very beginning.

When things started becoming more... Vulnerable and soft started making themselves known, you weren't the only one to notice, your comrades, your amigos did as well. (These are certain people you may or may not know- Who are very supportive of your relationship from the get-go. Wink wink, nudge nudge.)

Um, this expedition crew sees the more than platonic relationship between you two, and all of them have varying opinions on the matter.

For example, Audrey, being the teen she is thinks it's pandering but adorable, Mole? … Not so much.

That stinky little fuck thinks it's nasty, even though he's the one who bathes himself in dirt and grime.

ANYWAYS, going back to Audrey, as I mentioned in an earlier post, (this one right here) Audrey is impatient, and not into the slow-burn trope as she tries to… Quicken the process.

And as the story progresses… Somehow Audrey lassos KIDA of all people into these evil master plans.

These teen-concocted shenanigans are good-natured of course, but they come off as… Odd to say the very least. You see… A kid who is more into mechanics isn't exactly the doctor of love, and an 8,500-8,800-year-old Atlantean woman isn't either.

Their attempts may include the following (let's start up the clown music, shall we?):

- Trying to learn more about the relationship as much as they possibly can (Audrey TRIES to ask somewhat subtle… Kida straight-up demands to know 💀)

- Posing as one partner via love letters… With those letters being very terribly written ones.

- Well, they were kinda bound to be wonky if they were written by an Atlantean warrior woman as a teenager spectates intently… And let’s be honest they could've been believable with how romantically INEPT YOU BOTH ARE, but they didn't take the time to copy your guys’s writing style/handwriting (And Sweets is the one who usually snatches these letters before you guys read them to spare you both, say thank you to Doctor Joshua Strongbear Sweets 💖).

- Putting you guys into DANGEROUS SITUATIONS. This is mainly Kida’s idea, with her being frightfully confident about it due to it working with Milo and her… Thankfully Audrey had enough common sense to dismantle the idea.

After attempt after attempt fails, Audrey finally tries to get Sweets, a man she believes would have far more experience in this kind of thing… But the doctor tells her to NOT interfere, as painful as it is to look at you two being fucking romance failures.

With Milo backing it up of course… This effectively ruined the amusement (I can see Mole just giggling and snorting at all of this, this is COMEDY GOLD TO HIM) that Mole had as Kida and Audrey ran around like two headless chickens, all the while Vinny and you were for the most part unaware of.

But of course, the doctor knew that they all just had to be patient and let things move naturally between you two, a quality that Audrey and Kida were lacking in their plots.

This moment comes to fruition as you both get time alone and find a rather nice spot in Atlantis, which… May or may not have been suggested by Sweets to one of you.

After some heartfelt words and lingering touches, you both were able to share your first kiss, which as many might expect was both sweet and awkward, as God intended 💖☺️

[theflyindutchwoman]

You gotta treat this like any other op and treat Lucy like any other UC. I know.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.21 - Going Under

I have said it before but the way this episode took a different approach to depict this undercover mission is fascinating. Unlike Lucy's first solo op that focused on how lonely it could be from her perspective, particularly in the montage at the motel, this one rather emphasised how she was always connected to Tim… The phone calls, the text messages, the surveillance… The laundry room… Or here at the hospital. That is not to say she was never alone : just that Tim was never far away. There was always an invisible tether biding them in some way… Like how Lucy immediately finds Tim when she enters the room, zeroing on him and greeting him in a very soft voice… It's not until she closes the door that she acknowledges the rest of the team. It's plain obvious that he's her priority and that she relishes being near him, even for a few minutes.

That leads us to the interplay between the different characters that is quite interesting. While all of them are here for the mission and Lucy, they each serve a different purpose. Sergeant Grey, for instance, is here to supervise everything… But mainly, he's present for both Lucy and Tim, making sure several times that they're alright. That's actually how he starts the meeting : by asking her first how she is doing, even though they don't have much time. Just like how he's the one constantly checking-in on Tim, looking at him directly when the conversation becomes uncomfortable with all the talks about Teska being potentially physical with Lucy. He stays silent, but he takes notes of everything. Then there's Nyla, who is there for her expertise and as a moral support for Lucy… and let's appreciate the fact that she's here at all, despite not being directly involved on the case. She wasn't there during roll-call and she certainly isn't the case officer. But she still took time to come up there in case Lucy needed advices… And finally, there's Wesley, who is laser focused on the mission and there to make sure that she follows the law. He's the one who is more matter of fact and pragmatic, like when he asks her if her meeting with Teska at the restaurant could constitute a date. He knows how difficult this conversation probably is for Tim but it needs to be done. And Tim very clearly doesn't like where this conversation is going. The way he looks back at Grey when he feels his gaze on him, then looks down… Or how he is going antsy and fidgety when Nyla mentions Teska being handsy… It's a far cry from his casual demeanor when the op started.

Speaking of… I'm a bit puzzled as to why exactly Wesley instantly thought that the meeting at the restaurant could be construed as a date, let alone a sign that Teska was in love with Lucy. The guy literally just met her and promptly threatened her to do his bidding - which Wes should know since Tim was listening in on the conversation… I can understand why they made sure to lay down the rules regarding sex. But love? I doubt very much that this was ever going to be a part of the equation…  That said, his comment that 'love makes people do crazy things' could apply to Tim in a way. If it wasn't for Lucy, I don't think he would have ever considered being involved in undercover cases… And it did give us this subtle moment where his gaze turns to her when Wesley mentions love. This whole discussion also underlines how Lucy doesn't shy away from asking advices. She's portrayed as competent and confident, but not arrogantly so. She's not above asking others for their opinions and that's something that I think is done on purpose and is quite reassuring too : she's not being rash or trying to prove herself, which could be dangerous. But most importantly, it ties back to this notion that she's not completely on her own : she has a whole team with her. She has Tim as a safety net.

Even if she has to leave them behind at the moment… Including him. It won't last long since he will be back shadowing her at the restaurant, but this is the part where we can actually see the toll saying goodbye have on them. It's in the way he shakes his head and shrugs when Grey asks if anyone has any question : Tim is trying to act nonchalant and casual, but he's so focused on Lucy, drinking her in before she leaves, that he can't conceal the worry that is written on his face. Or how he has to accompany Lucy to the door… It's a small detail, but Grey, Nyla and Wesley make a point of staying right where they are, giving these two some privacy. Lucy's little smile when she opens the door and sees him at her side is so sweet : there's a part of her that is pleased at his gesture, and another part that is trying to infuse as much reassurance as she can in that smile before leaving. That is really when the distance between them is truly felt, escalating when Tim has to stay at the door while watching her go. He doesn't even close the door until she's out of sight, trying to prolong the inevitable. And once he does, Grey is right by his side, checking in with him… It's a bit ironic how he reminds him that he has to treat Lucy as any UC when he fully knows that Tim wasn't even treating her as any rookie back then… Long before they started their relationship. Still, the fact that Grey assigned Tim as Lucy's case officer says how much he believes in both of them.

[tuatism]

just posted something similar on main but i think i can explain better when i connect it to klaus so to my tua blog this thought goes.

bug like an angel (mitski) is so four "klaus" hargreeves coded

klaus is a lonely character. this is something that's true throughout all the seasons, and we can see how in each season he finds a new replacement for personal connections or worse; a replacement for the love he had lost with dave. in season one he had already been a drug addict (which i will touch on in another point), in season two he seeks solace in his "alternative spiritual community"/cult, and in season three he looks for (familial) love with his father.

going further on season three's replacement, i think that it is by far the most impactful (whilst not being particularly relavent to how he relates to the song, but i want to talk about it whilst i'm thinking of it). klaus looked for familial love with an alternate version of his father because, in part, i think he saw some of himself in that reginald. he saw someone who was constantly drugged and was treated as a joke by his family and was essentially discarded whenever he wasn't useful. sound familiar? of course, that reginald wasnt actually much like klaus, but it's easy to see how if you're desperate for someone, anyone, to connect to you'd strive hardest to find it in the father who never loved you. the father who's affections you've been starved of your whole life. anyways, moving on

i think the direction i'm taking this one is pretty obvious; dave.

throughout the show there's multiple (sometimes rather subtle) moments where klaus clearly wishes for nothing more than to be with dave again. in a cruel joke from fate, it's discovered that klaus cannot permanently die, which only makes it harder for him. i believe that part of why he has such a difficult time moving on is due to the fact that dave died. obvious point, i know, so let me explain further. with most relationships, they'll end mutually. be it a calm break up, cheating, a fight, family issues, etcetera; most relationships have something that can clearly be defined as an "ending point". klaus and dave never got this, especially since klaus can communicate with the dead. in theory, klaus could talk with dave whenever he wants (at least in season one he could), so it'd be hard to really consider the relationship as being over.

after dave dies (and before the slight time reset) klaus swears to go sober so that he can see dave. he finds during the torture scenes that the only way for him to speak with ghosts is to he sober, but he knows that (in that moment) he wouldn't be able to go through with it unless he's physically restrained. he made the conscious decision to reach out to diego for help, hoping he'd be able to go sober for dave. time is rewound slightly and his meeting with dave and the whole restraint thing is undone, causing klaus to make different decisions regarding his sobriety. he still tries, yes, but in the end he has to have the drugs physically slapped away from him. in season two he is also sober, albeit much more successfully. he, once more, comes horribly close to relapsing to drinking when he goes to the store and buys all manner of alcoholic beverages (although they are all dropped and promptly broken when he arrives at his home).

im choosing to interpret this lyric in the less literal way because i think thats more interesting to interpret with klaus. i've already touched on him seeking love in other forms, so i won't dwell on that, but it may be touched on.

klaus is at rock bottom, in season three we watch him lose basically everything. he lost his one and only love, he lost his cult (although the degree to which he wanted them is debatable), he misplaced his trust, and he lost all hope to see dave again. he knows that there's no use in it, yet he can't help but yearn to be with dave. deep down klaus knows that not only can he not die, but the dave in the new reality may very well be out there somewhere; along with the fact that he will never be klaus's dave no matter how much he wishes. he will never be truly happy again, no matter how much he wishes.

[darling-drag-brainrot]

Season 17 : Meet the Queens

🌟 I watched it just now and I have OPINIONS! 🌟

+ Acacia Forgot

- Seems like... bitchy... I honestly am not the biggest fan of her vibe and she doesn't seem funny to me. But the outfit was stellar! And she talks a big musical game so I'm excited for that!

+ Arriety

- Her name? Stellar. Her look? Strange and wonderful. Her voice? Pretty and cunt. I CANNOT wait to see her out of drag I bet she's stunning. She's so cute to me, sorry. Also is she Latina? Because this CANNOT be a white woman to me.

+ Crystal Envy

- Her outfit was giving tinsel town and I wasn't a major fan of it admittedly. But she seems sweet, like I want to spend time with her- like she seems really down to Earth, well-spoken, and I look forward to seeing her in design challenges and in the musical challenge. She could be Miss Congeniality to me. Also her wig IS the moment.

+ Hormona Lisa

- Banger name! Oh my god, Southern? She's so cute. Not a big fan of her outfit to be honest, but she seems genuinely fun to me. Also... ADHD queen!

+ Jewels Sparkles

- I want to make fun of the name for being so like... childishly on the nose... but her name was the only one I could immediately remember after the initial introductions so I think she won there. I don't like to compare queens but I will say... she initially makes me think of Valentina just by looking at her and somewhat her voice. She is SO pretty though- it's giving Glinda from Wicked. The lesbian fanfic writers are gonna make good use of her calling it now. Also- ALL these girls saying they give off bitch as first impressions like come on now ladies... we can't ALL be Plane Jane. But Jewels seems so cute and sweet! Also Latina diva!

+ Joella

- Not a big fan of the outfit, but I think I just hate full body jumpsuit/bodysuits in general. I love the eye makeup, it feels very vintage in a way, if that makes sense. Also, she seems rather genuine and down to Earth- she seems so personable I love it. I think this outfit is just not the best. I love how brightly colored she is.

+ Kori King

- The outfit isn't giving water too much, but I like it- I wish it had some blue in it to match the eye makeup. Oh, she's trying to give BODY like good for her- corset and boobs are swell. She's giving cunty but in the best way- like she lowkey a bitch but in a hot cute way. And then she says... "If you really think 'I'm like such a bitch' - NO! You just have fucking botox!" like girl preach you understand me exactly. Sorry guys I am already a Kori fan. Hey, lesbians on my phone can we make her big in the fanfics? Can she be plastered all over AO3? Also her voice is honey molasses smooth... lovely.

+ Lana Ja'rae

- Bottom queen! God for her! Also, I love her name! Her voice is gorgeous in a way I cannot fully describe. She looks so ethereal model angel goddess and then she talks and she just sounds so nice and like... chill. I want her to go far! Also, lesbians, make her go far! I'm a sucker for genuine queens and she seems so genuine- she is NOT faking anything for the cameras. Also- her smile!!!

+ Lexi Love

- I despise the outfit on a visual level but I cannot lie it is well made. That shit is GLUED on it looks like- fit to the body like a glove. Respect. Also... she is giving mother. Like a sweet white mom. I would happily chat with her in line at the grocery store and she seems really approachable- which I love in a queen. Very humble it seems.

+ Lucky Starzzz

- OUTFIT EATS! The entire outfit eats and serves and devours! Me when a drag girl hates minimalism: WAHOO YIPPEE YAY! I love this season of soft-spoken queens, like she has a big personality but is not forcing her entire persona. God bless! I want her happy.

+ Lydia B Kollins

- I like the outfit, I wish she had taller heels or boots though to balance the bottom half of the outfit. I like the subtle alt look of her makeup. She makes puppets? Slay.

+ Onya Nurve

- HER VOICE! CAN I HAVE HER?! HER OUTFIT! HER HAIR! HER MAKEUP! HER SMILE! I NEED HER I MEAN WHO SAID THAT!?!? She's well spoken, knows her stuff, and isn't faking anything. Lesbians. Lesbians after me. Lesbians please. Lesbians we have to hype her up. She dislikes Animal Crossing? Sometimes beautiful queens are wrong, we forgive her. I need to see her on my screen NEOW.

+ Sam Star

- I love the outfit! For some reason staring at her makes me think of Kristin Chenoweth in Wicked. I like that she seems so playful, not focusing on being all bitchy and cruel. She's giving... Southern belle. Also... horny alert. This is said in the most loving way possible.

+ Suzie Toot

- The most BEAUTIFUL goddess out there. I gagged at her outfit and makeup it's sooooo old school musical theatre. She seems somehow so quirky and strange and also... just so unbelievably human and casual. She's like a Muppet brought to life as a human. She belongs as a guest star on the Muppet show. I would love to sit and listen to her talk about her inspirations and ideas, she seems really put together. I want to be her friend.

[jafndaegur]

Love like You

Mystic Messenger

Jumin Han x Reader

Calling Jumin feels awkward. You've only been in the messenger for two days and hardly know anyone. But the nagging feeling of the conversation between Seven and Jumin leaves a horrible pit in your stomach.

"I heard Jumin is gay..." Seven had said.

If you said the statement hadn't piqued your interest, you'd be lying. After all, no one believed you when you said you weren't a girl—just because Seven had disclaimed it and said you looked like a girl. Your voice being so high doesn't help the case, but a book cover can be very different from the actual story it holds.

I'm very open-minded. The statement you make was hurried and quick, you had wanted to make sure you had mention something in case Jumin is...well, is like you. Yet somehow that simple text of yours was turned on itself and made into another joke.

"Isn't it rather late to be calling?" Jumin's voice suddenly and tersely cuts through the line.

You want to make it right.

"Jumin." Your voice is much more serious than you intended.

On the other end, you can hear him sit up a little more, readjusting and assessing. "We just spoke in the messenger. Is everything alright?"

"No." You say evenly, taking a deep breath. Knowing with the corporate heir, the best way to approach this would be calmly and logically. "At least I don't believe so."

"I'm sorry, " he says it so genuinely, that you wish you'd clarified why things weren't okay first. "While I'm not equipped to handle formal complaints in regards to the RFA, I will be sure to pass on any concerns to V."

"No, I wanted to apologize. To you."

"To me? As far as I know, you've made no transgressions."

"For what happened in the chatroom, I wanted to apologize to you." You say earnestly.

The sigh he makes is less understanding and more annoyed. "It's a ridiculous prank that Luciel and the others enjoy prolonging. The fact that you too have jumped on such a joke is not surprising—"

"I meant what I said!" You interject quickly, hoping you catch him before he decides to hang up. "Really and truly. Such affairs to gossip like that, they're private and personal. And to make light of it is a slight on that trust of privacy. But...I genuinely meant what I said."

He says nothing, his breath a soft and steady pattern for you to listen to. You close your eyes and wonder what he looks like in that moment. Is he disgusted? Intrigued? Or entirely disinterested altogether?

"It is no one's business in regards to who you love," you say softly. "And who, whether it's a man, a woman...or just a person making their way—it shouldn't matter. If you love them and they love you in return, and you're willing to treat each other as equals as you work through life together...then what does it matter?"

"You surprise me by the hour," Jumin finally says. It is a gentle and murmured comment. "I admit I've never given it much thought. But I like how straight-forward you've made it."

"So you're not—?"

"It's never been a forefront concern of mine, but I suppose I don't have a preference either way."

You smile to yourself.

"Perhaps, at the end of the day, I would love a person making their way, doing their best." You swear there is something knowing in his voice and you can't help but wonder...

"Jumin, I—"

And once again he cuts you short. "I'd like to disclaim, I do not wish for you to feel like you must share your own experience as I've shared mine...if there's something you're not inclined to disclose yet, don't feel like you must."

Your heart beats a bit against your ribcage. It's a lovely and anticipant flutter. "In my defense, I don't think I've been subtle."

"Oh?" He asks, bemusement seeping through the tone.

"I did, after all, come distinctly forward and say I wasn't a girl," you laugh.

At Jumin's hesitation, you can practically hear the gears turning in his head. "...are you a man?"

"Perhaps..." You smile. "Perhaps I'm just an ordinary person making my way and doing my best."

He chuckles, it is low and warm. You can't help the feeling of your heart and chest warming, like the slow steep of liquor once you've taken a drink.

"Well said," Jumin murmurs.

[animehouse-moe]

The Ancient Magus' Bride S2 Episode 6: Better Bend Than Break

Another episode of MahoYome has rolled around, and this time we take a break from the college setting to focus on Chise and Alice specifically. Not so much the pair as a connective story, but to take a closer look at their characters, and just what it is that they desire within their current lives.

In general, I think it's a really great approach because Alice and Chise occupy very different spaces in the lives of their masters. Alice was chosen by Renfred, while Chise was chosen by Elias. Yeah, hard to really denote the difference, but it's a rather significant piece in how they approach what they want.

So we'll start with Alice. It's pretty safe to say her character has been built around being of use and repaying a debt to Renfred. For taking her in, for saving her from harm, and so on and so forth. She wants to prove her use to her master, no matter what. But Renfred doesn't see it that way, and that hurts Alice. What she wanted to be in her life was, in a sense, denied by the person that she wanted to protect.

It breaks her down in defeat, because the person she's vowed to protect is the person that's protecting her. And Alice understands that Renfred means well and only wants the best for her, but at the same time he's denying Alice the role that she desires in Renfred's life. It's a tricky situation, and one that this episode dedicates itself to exploring.

I appreciate the dedication to keeping things "normal" though, because even if they go to a magic school and have done all this crazy stuff, they're still just people at the end of the day. So because of that, Chise helps Alice out as she gets out of her house to go spend a night with Chise mulling things over.

On the way over though, Simon has a really great monologue that helps the pair. What one person believes can differ from the next. Your definition of a friend is different than someone elses, but what remains are the truths of it all.

Anyways, back to Alice. I really love how they express themselves through the whole exchange. They're shy to open up about what's bothering them, but once Alice gets there she reverts to her usual energetic and stubborn self which is really nice to see. Even when she struggles with something important, she doesn't lose her character or what makes her, well, her. It's an easy thing to do when you're trying to make things dramatic, or are looking to pull as much as you can out of the story, but thankfully that's not the case here.

What I really love about Alice's venting of this though, is how it reflects on Chise. She has a similar confusion in terms of roles between herself and Elias, as hers are even more convoluted and confusing as she's bride, master, and apprentice all at once.

It's a great idea because Alice takes the lead, but what Alice is saying and doing is perfectly reflected on Chise. However, Chise here has a hard time opening up in a similar fashion to Alice. It tracks with her character, and I think it's a great piece to show where her own challenges and shortcomings appear from. She stumbles over her words, hides under the covers, and even fidgets and gets anxious. And in regards to that last point, I really like that Ruth gets up to comfort Chise while she's talking. It's a really subtle thing, but I think it really adds a great deal to how Chise comes across and is expressed during these moments.

Of course, Chise is more than just this awkward and anxious side, as she finds an odd sense of peace alongside Elias. Maybe it's that they share a similar isolation from the people around them, or maybe because they've never been great with people in the first place, but the pair has a special form of chemistry that lets them get through the hard to explain pieces.

In particular, I really liked how both Chise and Elias approached their roles and desires. Elias sees it in a far more childish and simplistic light, where these roles and their appearances are a more absolute experience, while Chise views them as something more fluid and inexplicable in regards to what Elias desires.

Neither wants to be alone, or separated too much from each other for that matter, but they can't arrive at a correct role for one another in their lives. It's a far more puzzling experience for them than it is for Alice and Renfred who don't see eye to eye, and I can really appreciate the nuance and care that they put into these moments between Chise and Elias.

Speaking of Elias, I really love how far he's come as a character now. Just simple things like how open he's been about how much he wants to keep Chise to himself, and how he wants her to stay by his side. Or even how quickly he accepts what happiness is and uses it to explain his own emotions. They're all really great pieces, but even if we've taken this many steps forward, that childish side of Elias still appears in his possessiveness of Chise, and I think it's an important piece to maintain. Elias has undoubtedly grown and developed in his own ways, but there are still vast swathes of immaturity and lack of understanding. Simply because he's made progress in one area, it doesn't mean he's improved across the board.

Now, coming all the way back to Alice (and to create a nice transition), it was really nice seeing Alice tackle her feelings in regards to her situation with Renfred head on. Very much like Alice, and a really nice way to end things off in the episode, especially with this cut.

So, to segue into direction and animation stuff now. Good episode overall, but definitely lots of little pieces that speak to a few standout staff members throughout. Lots of pieces of animation that have very similar styles (like the one above). I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a bad thing, or that it doesn't mesh with the episode in full, but just that it highlights the disparity and immaturity of Kafka as a studio.

Now, in terms of more straight laced direction stuff, this episode definitely plays into the strength of those few strong animators, as rotation is found throughout to sort of tie it together. I'm rather indifferent to that piece as it's neither here nor there in terms of being good though. What I do like is the continual input from Terasawa on these episodes to keep it together.

Their strong visual style is present throughout with all the top down camera angles we get.

In particular, I really like this sequence because it's the perfect combination of Terasawa's visual style, and using that in regards to the story. His penchant for top down shots lets us see Joseph's shadow, and how it begins as something small that stands at the feet of Alice when he's seen as harmless, but as soon as that fear sets in, his shadow extends to engulf Alice entirely.

Similarly, you also see quite a few scenes of those closeups on body parts (or in a few cases, objects) to hide facial expressions and reactions to various information.

Interestingly enough though, Terasawa's input is nearly at odds with the direction for this episode, though it comes off more like a dichotomy. The director for today's episode places a lot of focus and attention on the faces of the characters as they explore these emotions and thoughts, and creates this very interesting back and forth where entire bodies are used to convey emotion at different points in a conversation.

All in all, it makes for a good episode for sure, and goes to show how forms of direction that might seem at odds with each other can find a way to create a meaningful connection. I really loved how they balanced both ends to really sell the deep interactions and emotions between characters, and after writing this, have come to doubt that you'd get the same amount of feeling out of it if you were to only go for one of the two approaches to character expression from today.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Shroud of Darkness"

Heading back to Lothal for the beginning of the end arc.

We start right away In Media Res with Kanan and Ezra fighting the Inquisitors. And man is it amazing to watch how far they've both come in their lightsaber combat.

Ezra could barely duel Seventh for a minute back in "Always Two There Are" and now he's holding his own against her AND Fifth, with help granted but still.

Part of the reason why I think Season Two has to span the longest length of time out of all the seasons.

This is almost over-choreographed, lots of spins and lightsaber twirls that are frankly superfluous but they look cool so you know, whatever.

"I don't go for crazy... anymore." Do tell Kanan, lol.

It's funny because the voice actors are married.

NO I DON'T THINK THE SYMBOLISM OF EZRA DANGLING PRECARIOUSLY OFF A PRECIPICE WITH KANAN AS THE ONLY THING PREVENTING HIS FALL IS ANY KIND OF COINCIDENCE, GIVEN LATER IN THE EPISODE.

Rebels tends to be very deliberate about these things lol.

I don't think I noticed before but the past several episodes have had no fanfare and I think we all should have taken that as a clue or portent of things to come.

A+ padawan tossing Kanan, slick move.

Ezra's effortless flip over the Inquisitors. <3

Kanan complaining but ultimately having full trust in Ezra and the proud look he gives him. <3

Ezra being polite and thanking the tibedee, aww.

Okay I should stop before I gush over every second here.

Kanan expresses some rather natural worries about the fact that his and Ezra's presence is going to put the rest of the fleet at risk, since the Inquisitors keep finding them, and determines to bring in the big gun (Ahsoka) on this one. The expressions in this scene and the quiet subtle emotion is just beautiful, Kanan's worry about how to keep everyone safe just palpable.

RIGHT, SURE. SMACK ME IN THE FACE WITH PRE-VADER ANAKIN FEELS WITH ANAKIN MAKING HOLOCRON LIGHTSABER TUTORIALS FOR YOUNGLINGS.

Anakin would have loved Ezra. *sobbing*

Subtle animation appreciation moment: Ezra creeping around very carefully so as not to disturb Ahsoka's meditation, and the way his hand fumbles out for the seat.

Ahsoka talking so fondly about Anakin, ow.

I remember when this aired Ahsoka's line about, "The last time I saw him, he was running off to save the Chancellor." caused quite a bit of hullabaloo in fandom because, well, TCW Season 7 wasn't actually a thing yet, from our perspective she'd just walked off in Season 5 never to be seen again.

Writers decided to be all, "Let's incorporate unfinished storylines as if they're canon!" much to fan confusion, lol, wonder if they knew at that point that they were getting renewed to finish the last season.

"I can barely protect you." "I don't need protecting." *LAUGHS IN THIS ENTIRE SEASON* Right, how many times exactly did you get captured or in trouble this season Ezra? Yeah.

Our first hints of Hera's worried misgivings about Kanan's eventual plan to separate from the fleet.

The blockade hasn't returned yet to Lothal airspace, interesting. Maybe with the Spectres gone they loosened things just a little.

Our first time hearing Ezra's theme since I think "Legacy", a nice marker of us coming home.

Did... Ahsoka not know that Ezra was from Lothal before this? What's with the question? Did she think the Spectres just picked him up randomly on one of their adventures and take him with?

Still as pretty as ever.

Ahsoka's not confident enough in calling herself a Jedi to believe a Jedi Temple would open for her, boy this girl and her self-identity issues.

She doesn't think she deserves the title. She left and then everything fell apart and there was no more Order to return to, so she couldn't return, even though she maybe wanted to, even though she realized being a Jedi was what she did truly care about.

OH HEY, THERE'S THE DOOR PALPATINE STEALS.

And they walk down the exact same hall that Ezra would later walk down in the finale into the bowels of the Temple, excuse me, I need to--

*weeps*

I do love the Force Weirdness of this episode, how only Kanan can see the door bathed in light, how Ezra just sort of slips into the ether that is between the Temple and the Nexus of the World Between Worlds and disappears.

And I love Kanan's portion of this episode. Confronted by a vision of a dojo in the Temple and a Temple Guardian, Grand before he was an Inquisitor, who warns that trying to fight will result in failure and Ezra's fall to the Dark Side. (This speech sounds eerily similar to Grand's demoralizing speech to Ezra in "Gathering Forces" in fact.)

That immediate cold protective fury aaaaah I love it!

Grand's threat here was taken way too literally as prophetic foreshadowing by fandom BTW. Still is.

So Kanan and Grand square up and in the meantime the Inquisitors have found them. Again. I don't think they ever explained how, perhaps it's just that Inquisitor intuition that made Kanan and Ezra have to separate the first time, back in "Gathering Forces".

Hi Seventh! Hi Fifth!

Ahsoka reminiscing about Yoda. :(

Ezra, meanwhile, casually chatting the man up. XD

Kanan doing some casual Jar'Kai. Just cause.

[Insert "You're doing amazing sweetie" reaction image.]

OH BOY NOW WE GET TO DELVE INTO AHSOKA'S GUILT ISSUES ABOUT ANAKIN.

Bby girl knows deep down that he's become Vader but is still so vehemently in denial of it, the Force is smacking her in the face with the weight of her own guilt. Ahsoka feels like, "Maybe if I hadn't left..." but it's not about her, Anakin made his own stupid choices, there was nothing, metatextually, that Ahsoka could have done that would have prevented Anakin's fall it's not her fault.

:((((((((((

This is something I hope we will finally delve deep into and get over in the Ahsoka show. Babygirl needs to forgive herself for the wrongs she imagines she's done Anakin and accept that he made his choice, just like she made hers.

A snippet of Ahsoka's theme here, just for extra sads.

Oh good! It's time to play my least favorite game: Is this scene a commentary and critique of the actions of the Prequel Jedi Order or is this in-text Unreliable Narrator from Yoda as a person with obvious Survivor's Guilt.

It's especially annoying because Filoni you worked on TCW, remember all that enslaving, war criming, and general evil the Separatists were involved in on a daily basis? Are you saying the Jedi were wrong for wanting to try and stop all of that and protect the people put in harm's way? THIS WAS YOUR MATERIAL DUDE.

Love the subtle effect of the ring patterns turning red and the clear effort it's taking Seventh and Fifth to force their way into the Temple.

Kanan, meanwhile, confronted by his worst fears parroted by the vision of Grand, accepts that he cannot control his or Ezra's future, and that he should not try to. He lets go, gives up his fear of failing, gives up the instinct to cling tight to Ezra, his attachment, and acknowledges that what happens will happen, he will just do the best he can.

AND HE PASSES THE TEST AND GETS KNIGHTED BY THE FORCE ITSELF BABY!

I'm so proud of him. :)

Yoda is frustratingly cryptic, only telling Ezra, "Find Malachor" (which made KOTOR fans go nuts) before letting him fade back into realspace. To this day I'm still not quite clear just why Yoda decided to sent them that way except maybe to prove a point about what can happen when you act out of fear. Malachor does contribute to a lot of Ezra's character development, for both good and bad, so... I dunno.

Vision!Grand fighting his former co-workers aaaah I love it.

Yoda waving fondly at Ahsoka awww.

AND THE BIG DARK ASSHOLE HIMSELF IS HERE TO OVERSEE THE IMPERIAL DISCOVERY OF THE TEMPLE.

Again, I do wonder just how far back they planned the World Between Worlds reveal. Because yeah an ancient Jedi Temple is a pretty nice find but Palpatine being personally pleased with its discovery?

This episode is obviously very Plot Important but I do tend to skip it when I'm rewatching episodes, I'm not fond of the kind of downer ambiguous ending or the vaguely Jedi-critical sentiments that maybe lace through the episode.

That being said, it is a good one and definitely worth at least a couple watches. Contributes to the melancholy, "Everything is going to change" feel the last few episodes leading up to Malachor had. And that was one of this season's strengths, the build-up to what they knew would be a status quo-changing finale. Also contributes to the wider arc of the "five year plan" and the secret reason Palpatine was interested in Lothal, laying down the tracks for that reveal eeeearrrly so that it feels completely natural.

Love that. Between that and Ezra and Kanan being badass it's not terrible, just not my favorite.

[rocketturtle4]

Eclipse in progress part 2

Okay so I've only seen two more episodes and I kind of had in my head I'd watch till the end of 8 before writing anymore because I have the time but episode 7 just one two suckerpunched my feelings so I need to go regulate.

For the record while I'm a sucker for crying I get WAY MORE OVERWHELMED when things are bitter sweet and this episode is whoooooooaaaaaa

@wen-kexing-apologist @plantsarepeopletoo @grapejuicegay also @thegalwhorants I'm basically gonna @ you cause you interacted with my eclipse stuff, let me know if you'd rather I didn't

So some thoughts

I had forgotten about Namo he could also have stolen the diary and I think logistically this makes mroe sense because he is in a different year level so not expected to be in class BUT where did he get the key? Whereas Thua being class president potentially gives him key acces idk and I still feel like there's more layers

We still really haven't gotten background on anyone which is why I wasn't going to post yet so my theories havent changed much except

TURNS OUT AKK IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CAR

Did both Ayan and his uncle have a necklace? I'm really unsure about whether or not Ayan legit saw his suicide or has just vividally imagined it but n the dreams they're both wearing it whereas I had previously assumed Ayan was wearing his uncles necklace.

Namo also seems to genuinely believe in the curse so where did this rumour come from, I don't feel like it's NEW, did Akk hear it and just capitalise on it? or has someone else being doing this in the past? Is it passed down from the head prefect

also Khan and Wat are prefects were they indoctrinatinated by candelight??

1984 stuff was WAY LESS SUBTLE than I was expecting when Akk first found that book

Ayan convincing Akk he needs to 'tell the truth' and Akk being woried about his family and his reputation is obviously legit but also feels like a coming out metaphor ngl

Khan thinking Ayan is playing with Akk and Thua but gently confronting it rather than getting jealous made me appreciate him even more

ALSO THE POWER DYNAMICS in the framing of Ayan and Neo’s convo on the stairs, Neo is SO MUCH HIGHER and yet from the loew position Ayan managed to be confident and understanding.

IM SORRY ARE THESE CHILDREN EXPECTED TO WEAR THEIR BLAZERS REGARDLESS OF TEMPERATURE????

The three prefects convo was interesting when you consider the queer metaphor of the fact that Wat (so far) ISNT queer and is the one most openly empathetic to the protests, because he doesn't have the same personal stake as our gay boys

I want to know what wanna-be-prefect Nom and Aye think of the three prefects clearly non-prefect behaviour.

FUCK Firsts Goofy Smile is nearly as good as his doe eyes

Akk is way to relatable help me

god they're so proud this is gonna hurt

As a person who silently cries VERY SIMILARLY to Ayan (and just Khao in general because he cried like this on TC as well) I feel VERY SEEN by the way his tears just fall

HOW CAN I BE RELATING TO BOTH CHARACTERS HERE

I spent way to long examining the order of the boys and realising that Aye and Namo had swapped places

and that arguably you're more vulnerable when you're sleeping

THis ENTIRE SCENE

the interchanging eye opening

they both think each other was asleep

he's never really sleeping is one of my FAVOURITE tropes for forwarding a relationship and they doube whammied it but this one was CRAZY BECAUSE ITS NOT GOING TO FORWARD IT

Khan looked SO HAPPY TO HAVE KISSED HIM WAAAAAAAAH

DOUBLE WHAMMY

I have taken way to many screenshots and I can't believe episode 6 was a dream kiss and then episode 7 left us hanging but I'm still stopping for a bit. Have a few more moments that punched me in the gut

bye for now.

[ramonag-if]

I just had to tell you. The way you write family angst? Akin to how our old pal Da Vinci wields a paintbrush. Masterfully.

When Ahlf died? I was gutted. Genuinely. I'd been watching him and MC interact, holding out hope that they'd one day get to form a... warmer father-child relationship. Then he died. MC watched him die. I watched him die. I MC was so devastated, I MC called Crown's name stupid (Sorry, Crown. You too, Irus). Let it be noted that I'd been playing the shy/sincere MC till then. I was so gutted, MC moped/angsted all the way to the temple, while I sat there internally blubbering over the loss of MC's grumpy, emotionally unavailable, father.

(In case it hasn't been made clear yet, I also have father issues in the spades).

(Also, MC recovered their shy/sincere nature eventually. And became absolutely besotted with Irus. He obviously already knew, but still. Don't tell him that.)

(You can bet that I MC took all the chances to mourn/blubber over Ahlf whenever the chance came up, though. Those chances did come up frequently enough, now that I think about it. That moment when MC goes through Ahlf's box of letters in his room at Ellie's castle, mourning him and whatnot. Thanks for that, by the way. Really. I'm glad you didn't gloss over the persisting, subtle ache that comes with loss, which so many stories seem to do.)

Then, Salyra. Mama. MC had thought she was dead. I was convinced she was dead. So, seeing her alive and well and with a whole new husband and child to boot was. Wow.

By then, I had already fully immersed into the story. And while I don't see MC as myself, rather as an odd extension of my soul that I'm watching like some omniscient being who has nothing better to do with their time, I was, well.

Gutted. Again. And MC, too.

I MC's been going back and forth between being uncertain or bitterly angry for a while now. And Maybe accidentally gave Rana a Mean Look while still reeling over how Salyra was alive, with a new family.

When Salyra protected Rana from MC's Big Bad Stare and gave MC a disappointed look? Wow. Delicious scene. MC damn near imploded into a very sad confetti of abandonment and bitterness anger, but I really have to admit. That was peak writing and character interaction right there.

The best thing? None of the characters were demonized for all the things they'd done wrong. Not Ahlf, not Salyra, not MC. They were so human, in their actions and reactions and emotions and tears. You can hate them, you can love them, you can feel nothing about them, but they weren't just characters with an 'MC's parents: kind of really bad at it' label tacked on. They were characters made human, fleshed out and alive and raw.

Which is why it makes it hurt so much more. Makes all the family angst hurt so, so much more.

And I'm all for that, obviously.

Ah, and a special mention! The scene where MC just hugs Irus for comfort after another showdown with Salyra? Spectacular. Outstanding. Covering your arm with gold star stickers as we speak. I have to admit, I damn near melted at that scene. They're so cute. God.

Aaand after that long, long spiel that was definitely just 90% rambling, I'm bringing whatever this mess is to a close. So, Ra; (can I call you that? It sounds cool) thank you for bringing this story into existence, and for sharing it with us all. It was a lovely, beautiful experience, and I'm excited to see what lies ahead in this bloody wild ride you're taking us all on. You're awesome. Once again, thank you!!

Ah, thank you so much! 😭💖 Your message just made me smile like a fool! I don't think I'm anywhere near Da Vinci levels in writing family angst, so it means a lot to me that you enjoyed what I've written so far.

I felt really bad at the way Ahlf died, but his death had been planned long before Chapter 1 had been written. His death was supposed to be less dramatic than the way he went, but as I do try to remind readers, I'm a pantser opposed to a planner when writing so I rarely stick to my chapter outlines and will usually just go with my gut 😅 Ahlf's death really set the tone for the rest of the game, so I'm glad you enjoyed all the small moments to simply mourn his death. I knew that I was going into IF the way I normally write books - emotions are valued over branching/plot points.

Salyra was never going to be this complicated. She wasn't going to be married with another child either 😅 I obviously ignored plans and went right ahead into Angst Central, because I kept questioning Salyra as a mother and the person she would have become in the absence of Ahlf and the MC and suddenly, she was very complicated and brought a lot of baggage.

It was definitely important to showcase that it isn't all good and bad with Ahlf and Salyra. I know neither of them is perfect - no parent is perfect though they are quite far from that bar of being good parents 😬 You'll always get the choice to feel as you feel and the characters will always respond to your MC's choices. I do prefer the emotional development of the characters to the external factors, so glad you're feeling it too!

I actually enjoyed the scene where the MC cries into the ROs shoulder opposed to the hug. But that's just me, being an emotional wreck of a person when playing IF 😅

Please feel free to call me whatever you want 😋 I am quite liking Ra because Ra is my favourite Egyptian god and from my many nicknames over the years, I've never been called Ra before 😂

Thank you again for your support and kind words! I really do appreciate it 💖 It really makes writing the game worthwhile and pushes me to continue writing it.

[starbylers]

I love you’re theories so much! Do you ever have Byler doubts? I’ve had a few lately, but your theories and many more things I’ve noticed have kept me from doubting ! 🫶🏻

Aw thank you 🥰 I try to keep a general atmosphere of positivity about Byler on my blog because I trust and believe what I see with my own eyes in the show, but of course I have moments where I question things. But I think it’s better to be capable of evaluating all different perspectives rather than ignoring evidence just because it doesn’t fit my preconceived ideas. If something comes up, I just work through it logically and that hasn’t failed me yet. I still think they’re endgame every time. If there’s anything specific making you doubt let me know and I’ll probably be able to debunk it for you :)

I also try to pay attention to where doubt is actually coming from. For me 99% of the time it’s nothing to do with the actual show and moreso a feeling of being outnumbered. I don’t know if anyone else gets this but it’s kind of disorienting to know that so many people just don’t understand Byler. But then you have to consider where other people are coming from, and I fully get how they don’t see it (it’s a very subtle part of the show, only obvious to us because we followed the breadcrumbs and are viewing previous seasons through a lens of understanding what’s coming & where these character’s arcs are leading them. Mike’s motivations (on the surface!) seem to entirely revolve around his relationship with El. shows don’t usually subvert audience expectations in such a drastic way. heteronormative thinking. a dash of homophobia. etc etc) so it bothers me much less now. People who truly believed Will was gay and in love with Mike used to be in the minority as far as I know, and look how right they turned out to be.

Also wanted to add that it’s okay if you don’t feel confident all the time, being 100% sure it will be canon isn’t a prerequisite to enjoying the ship or being in the fandom :) but I’m glad my theories helped you, sorry I kind of went off on a tangent with this ask lol

[lupismaris]

It's the final day of my 20s and I found myself answering, as expected, the question "how's it feel?" rather a lot, asked most by my older colleagues, especially when they realized this is technically a big milestone birthday

The trouble is it's not a milestone birthday for me in the same sense.

24 was a milestone, it was supposed to be a diagnosis, an omen, the tidings of the end.

25 was a milestone, the final bell, last call, the closing of the doors. I can remember standing in a freezing Times Square at midnight while bf ordered our pizza waiting for an act of god, hoping it would sound as loving as a bartender calling out the last round of the night or a mother switching on the porch light for wandering kids to come home.

26-29 weren't milestones so much as baffling confusing years left to my own devices waiting for the cosmic powers that be to realize they'd miscounted and the hunt would snatch me up at some point or another to set the scales right. Somewhere along the way I stopped thinking that and started thinking instead that I might as well make use of whatever time I'd manage to steal before someone notices. Then it shifted to "how does one build a life out of borrowed time, especially when life after 25 never existed as a possibility?"

Now 30 comes, and I'm being asked on the last day of my 20s, how I'm feeling, by people who were terrified of aging, terrified of losing that chapter of their lives, and I told them honestly, as un-depressingly as possible, that 30 feels a bit like coming up for air. I never thought I'd see it, but here it is and I'm waiting to breathe deep.

I swim a lot, whenever I can, the colder the water the better, and there's a moment when you've pushed too hard and held on too long and you see the surface above you with the light cresting and shimmering in the dark as your muscles seize and your lungs shudder under your ribs and you push for those last few inches until you break through for air, gasping, wrenching breathes without grace or dignity, reborn each time, raw and desperate and violently alive- only to do it again a few minutes later, joyfully.

That's what this feels like.

There's no running away this year, no fleeing as far from this makeshift home as possible. There's no self deprecation or deprivation or spreading ourselves too thin. Hell, I have a shrink appointment in twenty minutes, I'm asking for med refills and sleeping meds finally after fighting it for years. I have an ultrasound a week after Christmas. Nothing changes really. But I'm surrounded by people who showed up when I offered a place to come and be together, offered a meal and a bit of love. I have you all here in the void. I have enough to keep the cats fed and medication in the cabinet and food on the table. I have partners who love me even with the distance. Despite it all I'm happy, I think for the first time I am happy, debt, illness and all.

Here's to 30.

Here's to you, to me, to coming up for air.

And here's to the queers who can't envision life past 16, 18, 21, 25- we build our own lives. Sometimes it's entirely out of scraps. It will never look quite like you picture it. But there will hopefully come a moment, be it soft and subtle or a jazz band chorus, when you realize you are loved and the world lies at your feet. The smallest step makes it possible, even just waking up tomorrow counts.

I love you all so very much. Thank you for sticking with me the last decade 💕

Here's to 30 🥂

All my love xxoo

James Maren