#Vegan Murder Mystery

[vegan-childrens-stories]

The Organ Grinder (part one)

PLEASE NOTE: THIS MURDER MYSTERY/ CRIME STORY IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER FIFTEEN YEARS OLD Organ Grinder Incident RoomKilridge Police StationWednesday 15 April “There’s been another one.” DCI Ted Wicket addressed the crowded incident room. “Two.” “I hadn’t forgotten Ann.” He snapped. “Listen up! Two victims this time, found in an empty warehouse on Billings Road, the old carpet place.…

[maureenjohnsonbooks]

A friendly hello in an unfriendly time

(The following was the content of my most recent newsletter, which you can get for yourself if you like.)

HELLO FRIENDS So. Um. What a time, huh? Things are not great. I really hope you are doing okay. I went a bit quiet on social media after the election (at least on IG--I am on Bluesky ALL THE TIME). It felt weird to be talking about my own books, so for a few months I didn't. But I was making them! I am currently well into the sixth STEVIE BELL MYSTERY, and I have finished (along with my friend Jay Cooper) a MYSTERY that is coming out in September! It is called You Are the Detective: The Creeping Hand Murder. The book is a dossier, a collection of documents and pictures. You are the detective and Scotland Yard has handed YOU the case file. You have to solve the mystery. When you think you have the answer, you open a SEALED ENVELOPE IN THE BACK WITH THE SOLUTION.

Here is a Proof of Life pic of us working on page proofs:

Working on this side by side on art and design to put together a GREAT MYSTERY has been amazing. It looks REALLY, REALLY GOOD. I cannot wait to show it to you.

MORE BOOK STUFF. I am thrilled beyond belief say that Death at Morning Househas been nominated for an Edgar Award by the Mystery Writers of America. As a mystery person, this is very meaningful to me. I don't know if I will get that little Poe head, but I'm just happy to be invited. Death at Morning House is a story about a few things that are relevant right now. It's about how our American past informs our American present, which is currently a tire fire. Our history isn't buried that deep. It's just that people don't want to acknowledge it, and they don't want you acknowledging it either. They will take every book out of the library rather than let history be told. A few things in the book that are ringing some bells right now. Two things I knew about while writing it and one I did not. 1. America's history with eugenics. Whoooo. We loved eugenics and Nazism (the literal kind) was WAY TOO POPULAR. We need to know this history--and this is the story book banners are trying to retell or erase. The backstory of the book involves a family, the Ralstons, who are regarded as the ideal American family. Look at them! They are rich! They wear matching outfits and live in a mansion! And they love eugenics! (Well, some of them do.) In creating the Ralstons, I kept things very close to historical reality. I actually had to tone things down for the book because the reality would have become so overwhelming that the story would tilt off balance. But we built a lot of things on the back of eugenics and racism and those things cannot stand.

2. Queer joy is important and needs to be front and center! Marlowe, the main character in Death at Morning House, is proudly and cheerfully queer and in love! She is romantic! And sure, her timing isn't always great, but love will prevail! Affirm queer lives. Protect trans kids. Never, ever, ever back down from this. 3. Canada is our friend. This one, I didn't see coming. I didn't think we were going to get into a TRADE WAR WITH CANADA because I don't drink bleach and hallucinate weird events. Ralston Island is on the imaginary line that squiggles through the St. Lawrence River that separates America and Canada. We are intertwined. WE LOVE CANADA. (Bonus fact: my grandfather was Canadian. He was born in British Columbia, in Nanaimo, and my aunt there made the best Nanaimo bars. If you have never had one, don't sleep on this. Try one now. Here are dairy and vegan versions. GO CANADA!) Whether you read my books or not--reading ANY books, supporting libraries, talking about books, sharing books--THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT. Use your library. It really, really helps them to get footfall. Ask the librarian how they are doing. Aside from books (though books will help you through just about anything), I wanted to recommend a few silly and life-affirming things I enjoy. Just some stuff you can watch or listen to that are a guaranteed GOOD TIME. 1. I'm a recent and massive fan of Watcher TV, specifically Shane and Ryan (who used to do Buzzfeed Unsolved). They have a few shows out there, but I am going to recommend Puppet History, which is spectacular. You can get started maybe with this episode on the straw hat riot, but they are all funny. MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE SONGS. 2. I'm a long time fan of The Dollop history podcast, which is a comedy podcast that gets very, very real! But is also comedy? They get into the reality of American history and talk about a lot of the things I mentioned above. But they also have some absolute classics that are just VERY FUNNY. A quick playlist of pure absurdity: the Egg Nog Riot, the 1908 New York to Paris Car Race, and Action Park. 3. I can't speak highly enough of Anxious People, which you can watch on Netflix. A mysterious person runs into an open house apartment viewing and takes a group of people hostage--then vanishes? And no one saw a thing? This locked room mystery turns into something magical and will reaffirm your faith in other people. IT'S SO GOOD. 4. Two UK shows that own my heart (well, many do, but these will fix you): Ghosts and Ludwig. (Note: NOT the Ghosts on CBS. I am strict about this.) You can see Ghosts some US streaming services, but come closer...I will whisper something to you...*looks around*...you can get into BBC iPlayer by using a VPN and then entering some random UK post code and saying that you have a TV license. They won't come after you. You may have to try a few VPNs but one will work. Using this method, you can also watch Channel 4 online. GET YOURSELF SOME UK COMEDY. UK, WE NEED YOU. 5. If I only have three minutes to dispel the vapors I watch this. If I have five, I do a Murdle. If I have ten, I do this thing where you look at art for ten minutes. If I have fifteen I play Splendor Duel on board game arena. Whenever you are, whatever is going on, I hope you are okay. Remember, the answer has always been and will always be taking care of each other. None of this is easy. With love, I remain, Maureen Johnson, author

[paintlesscanvas]

haii!! could we request vampire/emo themed snpts please? thanks in advance!! (your blog is super awesome sauce)

VAMPIRIC / EMO SNPTS . .

System Names: the chained up collective, the sun-fearing system, bats hanging upside down, the ruby gloom system, the drained collective, the undying creatures, creepy catacombs, the cave dwellers, the dyed hair collective, gerard way’s fanbase, the fanged lovers, the bloodless, murder of crows, the parasol wielders, the hot topic system, the exhausted, minute misery, smudged eyeliner system, the ghoulfriends, those shrouded in shadow, cramped coffins, the vein drainers, those damn dhampirs, batty bitches, the headbanging collective, the emo system, the dark circle system, the studded belt collective, the cobwebbed coffin, the crying collective, the melancholic, batty bloodbath, the fanged system, the flying bats, the blood-filled cauldron, the fanged, the vegan vamps, the reflectionless collective, fishnet freaks, the sad playlists, the stitched hearts, bloody bruises, the weirdos, mister, the fallen down, the cursed collective, helena’s graveyard, the empty system, the graveyard dancers, the bloodied blades, closeted skeletons, striking violent poses, the fearful, the strange and unusual, those with the darkened clothes, the mortuary collective, the unbeating hearts, shadow lurkers, the grotesque ghouls, the raccoon tailed, the weary and worn, those from transylvania, the empty chalice, the demolition lovers, the decrimson stains, the teenagers, monster high, the bat colony, the counts of the night, the wounded fingers collective, the lonely, those that returned from the ashes, the immortal system, the mysterious rejects, the bleeding makeup collective, the scarlet drinkers, the horror show, broken hearted, the emo cult, the dhampirs, totally not posers, torn and frayed, the bloody things, the graveyard obsession, the silent pulse, the strays, the bat-winged system, those who blast music, the vampiric manor, those who come out at night, the headphone wearers, the ones drowning in music, the haunted forest, warped with hate, the tattered clothes collective, the outcasted, the bleeding, the romeos and juliets, the failures,

Usernames: surroundedbynight, liesinthebooks, sxwithaghost, vamprieofthepalace, fshnetglves, tonightisthenight, vampfangz, yrfavoritevampire, kneeh1ghconverse, julietscmndlust, messydrinker, romeosbloodiedhnds, tututhousands, raisedglasses, cleanupyrlooks, chainedcastle, chaliceofblood, skullst4k3s, mortalbats, teenagersrscary, sluuuuuuurp, saneabandonedme, onyxsoooul, mmyspacekween, baaaaatwings, cannibalglow, commandedlust, myssspaceking, coginthemrdrmchine, eldritchemo, batwisp, txtteredpxges, fangsintoflesh, swoopshadow, checkrdconvrse, vampygrlfrnd, hopeandshadow, aspirationstoshreds, vampybyfrnd, bloodycauldron, lovewithavampire, amurderofbats, plasmapouch, deadlydeparted, cadavercutie, em1lythestr4nge, shrpstlves, hidinginmycloak, rosesforthedead, dxeadlynightshade, vans4life, ripupyourheads, legsandtongue, heymisery, theblackparade, splitgoblet, bitingvampire, hshtaghosted, warruined, gallonsofblood, caprisunblood, rrrrrrbl, vxmpyrrr, darkenyrclothes, wermonsterhigh, rubygloooom, deadbats, silverdippedcrown, brnthempires, castlecrawl, dearlydeceased, pileofbones, returnfromtheashes, dripdripdrip, halfhumanhalfnot, batbatbatbat, elvirasratings, violentpose, itsnothertime, garlicsting, bloodchugger, awfulfuck, completecooperation, weallgotohell, countofthenight, rvencrws, scaredofstakes, twooofanged, ddaintydhampir, buildingacoffin, brrrkenheart, garishgh0ul, gerardseyeliner, outsiiider, bloodthorne, imnotokayipromise, weallfalldown, tangledhxadphones, notaposerpls, dxadliest2lead, fortuneandflame, hiddentomb, cryptchaser, someonewillbleed, hangry4humans, gerardwaaaay, topofthemanor, bloodyhiss, no1garlichater, youwearmeout, fulloflies, gr4vedweller, undeadlxve, actuallyanemo, mcrcutie, bloodybtch, sh1mmeryfangs, fuckofagun, tornandfrayed, unholyveins, crampedcoffin, cobwebbedcoffin, thnkabtthestakes, vampirism, mychmiclrmnce, number1, batsbeforethemoon, fffangedkillr, raaaventamer, crackedskin, touchedbyangels, b1temrks, bloodbeforelove, warpedwithhate, murderofcrows, yrmyonlyhpe, releasethebats, gravedancer, crrpycutie, bldsckingfreak, cheersforrevenge, abyssalbite, chillinwmycoven, freaktastic, cause4thequeen, fangtasia, razrfringe, vampsdoitbetter, backfromthegrave, beastinrepose, dracscastle, needlessbeating, bathedinfire, plasticfangsss, vamprism, beenababygirl, lookalivesnshiiine, trnsxualtrnsvnya, number2, raisedabetterson, cemeterybaby, fangtastic, litrlydead, madgear, misslekid, looking4thecure, houseofwolves, gerardshairstrand, transylvan1a, scuffedcmbatboots, oldguillotine, chappedandfaded, eatyrheartout, blltprfheart, eylnyrdwnmyface, skltonheart, nananananana, screeeaaaam, gothicmusic, number3, sweetrvnge, vmprdiaries, nbdyundrstnds, undrprssre, drwninglssns, guitarshredder, stayoutofthelight, thatissoghoul, raccoontailss, number4, demoniademon, knifeinmyhands, nocturnaaal, blackattire, blackpolish, hereishelena, horrorshows, burymeinblack, idontloveyou, headfirst4halos, crledupinmybed, number5, hospitalstay, witchingh0ur, incineratingmatch, stainedblade, ilvethe1780s, sharpenedblade, l3thallust, fndtnsofdecay, m4ne4ter, sp1nesp1ke, vamps4humans, holdingontonight, b1teme, solonggoodnight, ladyofsorrows, howidissapear, vampirecountscount, shadowstained, mybulletsyrlve, lvemyghoulfriends, heartaaache, fangbangers, batskeleton, traceofthrfangs, deathnvrstpyou, foggynight, eyelinertears, cmtrydrve, demolitionlvrs, missingheartbeat, burntbyacross, giveemhellkid, spooningavampyre, themurderscene, chillycuddles, coldtothetouch, deadeyes, fuzzyyybats, myagonyyy, famouslastwords, ghostofyou, mrried2themusic, eyesrshiningbrght, d4ngerd4ys, thx4thevenom,

Names: aamon, adalaide, adrienn, aeron, agatha, agony, ahimoth, alistair, altaire, altar, alyx, ambrose, ambrosia, ash, ashe, astrophel, auberon, aux, ax, axton, barrett, batsy, blade, blaire, blaze, bones, burdett, cadell, cage, calypso, carnage, carnamor, casimir, caspian, cazimir, cephas, chain, chase, claude, clawde, claws, corvin, crimson, crow, crowley, crush, cymph, cynthia, damon, daemon, daimion, daxten, daze, decay, delyth, dez, dizzy, dominique, dorian, dragomir, dread, drusilla, dryden, ebony, echo, edge, eldritch, electra, elisabat, elspeth, espen, esther, evan, exequiel, eza, ezekiel, felyx, flick, gabriel, gerard, ghost, gloom, gore, grave, grey, grimoire, grotesque, hatchet, havoc, hawthorn, heathen, hellebore, hemlock, hyde, ida, ingram, ink, isidora, jaqueline, jax, jaws, jaz, jazper, jekyll, jet, jett, kane, kaerix, kier, killian, knox, lament, lennox, lestat, lilith, lothaire, luce, luther, lux, lydia, lysander, maddox, maeve, marietta, maw, mercy, midnight, miles, moon, morgan, morgana, mortem, myth, myst, mystery, neechee, noir, nox, neutrix, nuisance, odessa, octave, octavia, octavius, omen, onyx, pandora, percival, phantom, phoenix, pierce, poe, quill, quince, rabid, ramona, raphael, rave, raven, rawre, raze, razors, reaper, rhaenyra, rin, rip, rogue, ronan, ruby, rumor, rune, sabbath, sabien, salem, sangue, sardonyx, scarlet, scream, sebastien, selene, shade, shadow, shred, silas, skrrt, skull, smoke, snap, spine, spike, spirit, strange, sting, stray, tear, temperance, thane, thorn, thrash, theramin, umbra, valentine, valerian, vamperine, vane, vance, vermillion, vesper, victoria, viktor, viktoria, ville, vincent, vispan, vivienne, volitaire, vollo, wild, wryn, xander, xanthos, xavian, xavier, xenia, yarrow, yuma, yvette, zaye, zayne, zedar, zee, zev, zeke, zim, zion, zypher

Pronouns: vampire/vampires, bat/bats, wing/wings, cave/caves, echo/echos, smoke/smokes, cloud/clouds, soar/soars, swoop/swoops, flight/flights, night/nights, dark/darks, shade/shades, shadow/shadows, moon/moons, wisp/wisps, fang/fangs, gleam/gleams, shine/shines, glimmer/glimmers, drain/drains, sink/sinks, thrill/thrills, sharp/sharps, drip/drips, drop/drops, heart/hearts, beat/beats, life/lifes, immortal/immortals, cold/colds, chill/chills, vein/veins, glass/glass', swirl/swirls, goblet/goblets, chalice/chalices, castle/castles, forest/forests, silent/silents, alone/alones, silver/silvers, stake/stakes, cross/cross', hiss/hiss', sun/suns, scorch/scorchs, hide/hides, cloak/cloaks, ruffle/ruffles, frill/frills, lace/laces, parasol/parasols, velvet/velvets, scarlet/scarlets, ruby/rubys, obsidian/obsidians, onyx/onyxs, mirror/mirrors, crack/cracks, void/voids, mystery/mysterys, candle/candles, petal/petals, rose/roses, thorn/thorns, puddle/puddles, pool/pools, ash/ashs, ashes/ashes', crow/crows, raven/ravens, vulture/vultures, corvid/corvids, morbid/morbids, dark/darks, brood/broods, extreme/extremes, pain/pains, blur/blurs, flicker/flickers, fire/fires, fuse/fuses, spark/sparks, lighter/lighters, smoke/smokes, heart/hearts, crackle/crackles, key/keys, sharp/sharps, smash/smashs, shatter/shatters, break/breaks, crimson/crimsons, sneak/sneaks, night/nights, scream/screams, threat/threats, swear/swears, splatter/splatters, red/reds, empty/emptys, spike/spikes, riot/riots, loud/louds, rage/rages, teeth/teeths, reject/rejects, checker/checkers, stripe/stripes, smudge/smudges, polish/polishs, eyeliner/eyeliner, raccoon/raccoons, music/musics, drown/drowns, note/notes, scribble/scribbles, headbang/headbangs, bracelet/bracelets, mumble/mumbles, mutter/mutters, zero/zeros, razor/razors, rawr/rawrs, die/dies, dead/deads, gloom/glooms, tear/tears, sob/sobs, curl/curls, 🦷, 🫀, 🫁, 🐦‍⬛, 🕷️, 🕸️, 🌑, 🌪️, 🦴, 🎧, 🎼, 🎸, 📱, 💿, 📷, 📞, 🎵, 🎙️, ⏳, 🔦, ⛓️, ⛓️‍💥, 🧨, 🪓, 🔪, 🗡️, 🪦, ⚰️, 🕳️, 🩹, 🩸, 🗝️, 🗑️, 🖋️, ✂️, ❤️‍🩹, 💢, 🎶, 🔇, 🗯️

Titles: prn who sleeps upside down, the cave dweller, the one who used manic panic, prn who hides in the night, prn who lurks in the shadows, the one scribbling in their notebook, the bloodsucker, the count, prns blood-filled chalice, the countess, prn who sleeps in a coffin, prn who is obsessed with death, prn who longs for the sun, the undying creature, prn who has raccoon tails, prn who is listening to [favorite band], prn with the skinny jeans, prns bloodied dagger, prn who shops at hot topic, the vampire cursed with immortality, prn texting on prns flip phone, the one with the emo bangs, prn who terrifies, the music listener, prn who has prns headphones in, part of the emo cult, prn who fears the sun, the vegan vampire, the one with the vampiric cloak, the wielder of parasols, the bloodless body, prn who lies in the darkness, the immortal soul, the thing with fangs, the one wearing the fingerless gloves, the one covered in chains, the empty emo, prn who sizzles in the sun, prn of sinister magic, prns infinite disdain, the dead thing, the unbeating heart, prn who stares out the window, the exhausted vampire, the one who lurks in graveyards, prn with the bat wings, prns doodled-on converse, the fluttering bat, prn with skeletons in prns closet, the friendly vampire, prn with razor sharp fangs, prn who shrouds prnself in shadow, dead on the scene, prn who stays alone, the strange, prn who shreds on prns guitar, the dhampir, the lost, prn who drains life from the living, the being with visible veins, the stitched heart, the one with too many studded belts, the bloodied bat, prns empty playlist, prn who haunts, prn who likes emily the strange, the friendless, lurks the graves, thing of nightfall, prn who is filled with misery, the vampyr, prns immortal soul, prn with smudged eyeliner, the crying thing, the one blasting music through prns headphones, prn who is not a poser, prn with no reflection, the one who shatters mirrors, prn who turns into a bat

[bakawitch]

Sort of Scott Pilgrim heartshipping au that may or may not end up with yuumeishipping

So. Yugi finally gathers the courage to ask his crush, Ryou the weirdo, out who amazingly says yes! Yugi's super happy! The very next day, Yugi takes Ryou out for a fun gamer date, which somehow ends up leading them to hang out in a forest at night after a quick dinner. Yugi is a little jumpy, but Ryou holds his hand and tells him stupid stories about why the monsters in the forest won't hurt them ("oh, don't worry the creaking is just Sato. He's a vegan, so he won't eat you." "Yep, that's my ex Kaonashi, he's all bark and no bite. He's probably just jealous I have a cute date." "Did you hear that? That's probably the tengu I went out with last month. He had a really bad morning breath."). Yugi kind of laughs along at how ridiculous the things Ryou is saying are, and it actually ends up putting him at ease in a weird way.

HOWEVER. As they're about to get a little romantic, Yugi suddenly gets jumped by an actual monster! Ryou manages to ward it off and after Yugi calms down he explains to him that he did actually date all the things he joked about at one point and that Yugi got beaten up by one of his newer exes, some blood demon with an inpronouncable name (it's Yamima). Ryou also confesses that all of his human dates eventually end up being chased off or killed by all the demons he's had history with, and he asks Yugi if that would deter him from pursuing him. Yugi puffs out his chest and says "no, it wouldn't" because despite only being on one date, they've already been friends for some time, and Yugi REALLY likes Ryou. He even screams a challenge to all the demons who refuse to move on from Ryou. Ryou finds it endearing, and they leave the forest and part ways on very positive terms.

MEANWHILE back in the forest! Yamima returns to a mysterious camp (the leuge of evil exes) and tells all the other exes there that he's failed to eat Ryou's new potential bf. And that he got decked by Ryou. And Yugi's challenge. So the leader of the evil exes (Zorc probably) decides that they will all try to kill Yugi, and whoever succeeds gets Ryou for themselves. The other evil exes are pumped, and they prepare for murder.

Over the next few weeks/months, as Ryou and Yugi grow closer together, one of Ryou's main evil exes show up and try to eliminate Yugi, but Yugi and Ryou somehow always prevail (it's the power of love babeyyyyy).

The main exes are:

- Ḩ̴̬̤̘̠͈̣̰̣͋̐̈͑͐̓́͂͋̄͂͋̅͌̆̎͜e̵̢͔̮̝͇̥̞̼̯̻͇͕͌͑̑̆̍͜ͅ-̵̨̫͕̦̳͓̜̬̺̤̓͛̀̽̓̃̃̿̿́̀̽̕͜w̴̧͔̤͔̭̘͓̭̺̄͗̔͠͠h̶̢̛̛̹̹͖̬̠̫͑͌̀͛̕͜͝o̸̦̓̊͋̈́͐͜-̶̡͓͖͇̐͂̅c̸̨̢̥̭͆̏̔́͂̇̋̒̊͋̀̒́à̸̡̢̡̛̛̳͕̺͉̤̳̪͉̖̘͙ņ̷̨͔͔́͗̆͛̔̌͋̚ņ̸̳̠̼̟͓̺̰̯͓̪͈͕̗̖͐̒̇̅̑͠͝ͅo̷̧̻̳̙̼͇̯̬͇̫̽͊̀̑̋̈͘͝ṭ̶͙͔̤̈̀̈̄́̾̊́̚͘-̷̝̺͚̳̗͎̙̠̝̱͙̥͊͗͊̿͑͝ͅb̸̰̞̯̖̣̮̖̫̜͉̹͗̈̔̾́̃̀͗̂̇́̅̚ȇ̵͒́̀͒͜͝-̵͚͓̘̪̦͍̬͓̩͇́͑̄͋̆̈́̍̃̓̊͗̓̕͝͠͝ͅn̷̟̰̰̻̋̈̓̓̑̑̎̉͂̈̐͒͘à̵̗͔͇̮͙̰̹̥̭̐͊̈́̓͌͌̊͘̚m̵̳̮͖̄͆̈͐́̽̽̚͘ẹ̶̛͎̓͛͌͐̇̂̃̇̈́͝͝d̶̢̠̩͓̭̝͋̀̐̃͒̔̀̚͠ (Yamima for short), a viscous blood ghoul demon thing

- Malik, the incubus

- Bakura, a ritual game bound demon

- Kaure (tkb), the naga

- Seto, the vengeful spirit of a samurai who thinks Ryou is the reincarnation of his dead lover (he is not)

- Ryuji, a clown/jester zombie thing with a gambling problem

- And Zorc, the dragon dick demon (idk)

There is also Pharaoh Atem, some sort of undead mummy thing, but he's never actually dated Ryou before. He gets brought into the picture by Kaure, who offers Yugi to him as a potential undead consort if he successfully traps him and lets Kaure deal the finishing blow. Despite everything, Atem would still be the first to join the weird ass polycule.

Some evil exes move on from Ryou, some assimilate into the Ryou/Yugi harem, and by the end of it all, Ryou and Yugi have a whole monster army to stop Zorc from doing Zorc things.

They all live/exist/die happily ever after! (Except for Zorc) The End! 🙃

[bittersweetstargazer]

okay yeah so I made this off of that one post by @frownyalfred about Clark not understanding that human can sense like danger bc he obviously. isn't. so anyways. there's two of them and they're both short– the 1st one is 600 words and the 2nd one is 400 words because I have other things to do with my life currently and I would probably add more to them and maybe I will in the future but this is the best it's gonna get for now (unbetaed as usual)

Untitled by bittersweetstargazer:

1.

Clark stood next to Bruce as Jon and Damian scurried over to the next house in the neighborhood. He chuckled as Jon tripped and almost fell, catching himself only by using his powers of flight. Damian had grabbed him by the back of his costume like scuffing a cat.

"They look so . . . happy." Clark commented, bumping his, shoulder against Bruce's. Bruce snorted, pointing at his own son.

"Damian looks like he's about to stab Jon. I'd hardly describe that as happy."

"Fortunately, he doesn't have his kryptonite sword."

"Oh, I wouldn't trust that. It looks like his sword is covered in lead. To cover what? The world can only dream."

Clark tensed, trying to look through the (supposedly fake) sword Damian brought as part of his costume, jaw dropping when he couldn't.

"You mean he—!"

"No." Bruce snorted. "He made it out of plastic but covered it in a thin layer of lead to mess with Jon."

"Why is your son making empty threats to mine?"

"Did you really expect anything else from him?"

"Like father, like son, I suppose." They both turned to each other and glared.

"Anyway," Clark huffed, "I think it would be nice if we could just have a nice, calm night of no crime-fighting together, right?"

"And with our children."

"Together. And our children, yes."

Bruce shrugged. "Sure."

Clark's left eye twitched. "Right."

They walked off to go join their children just as Damian started scolding at Jon for messing up their innocent act.

"Imbecile!" Damian hissed. "You said the wrong thing! Did you see how many pieces of candy we got? Five! Do you remember how many we got last year? Seven!"

"I'm sorry! My suit was pinching me and I couldn't focus!"

"It doesn't matter about how uncomfortable you are, you must stick to the script!"

"But I—!"

"Boys." Clark cut in. "You already have plenty of candy. And Damian, you're rich. You can buy more candy anytime."

"It's not about the stupid candy!" Damian scoffs. "Half of these aren't vegan-friendly anyways. It's about how much candy we can exploit from these suckers."

"Damian." Bruce raised an eyebrow and his son fell silent. "Although, I must say, your current strategy is quite succe—"

Bruce tensed, falling silent. It didn't escape Clark's notice when Damian also tensed as well. Hm. His earlier statement didn't seem to extend to just murderous tendencies.

"Bruce?"

Bruce shushed him. "Something's not right."

"Not right?" Clark and Jon shared a look. "Everything seems fine. How do you know? Get a report from O in your earpiece?"

Bruce shook his head, eyes looking around sharply. "Someone's watching us."

Before Clark could even begin to think of a response to that, Bruce jumped forward right as a gunshot rang out, covering Damian.

Jon screamed as Bruce grunted, a blossom of red blooming from his right bicep. Damian scowled, pulling out a sword from a hidden sheath on his body. Jon went white.

"You had that on you the entire time??" He whimpered, backing towards Clark. "Relax, dimwit. It's not made of Kryptonite."

Bruce pulled off his shirt, craning his head to inspect his wound. He hissed as the fabric brushed against the broken skin, spreading the blood further across his arm.

"We should get out of here before our mystery sniper takes another shot. We're easy pickings out here in the open."

He pressed his shirt against his arm, attempting to stifle the blood flow. Clark picked him up and tried not to brush against his gunshot wound as Bruce struggled to get back down.

"My arm is injured, not my legs."

"I still don't want to risk any side effects you might get from blood loss. I know you have a high pain tolerance but transportation would be much easier this way. Also, the faster we can get you to Alfred, the better."

Bruce sighed as he settled back into Clark's arms, lip curling as he was lifted into the air. He heard Damian start to curse in another language as Jon attempted to lift him as well.

"Language." Bruce muttered, head sliding down to meet Clark's chest. Clark simply chuckled and flew down the familiar path to Wayne Manor.

2.

Bruce grit his teeth as Clark landed on his balcony, the familiar feeling of his neck hairs rising washing over him once more. He tried to focus back on his book, but he found it difficult with his body desperately trying to warn him about a nearby threat, which happened to not be a threat at all.

"Hey B!" Clark greeted, his smile unnaturally bright, like the sun on the earth, like warmth on a cold day. It made him shiver.

"Hello, Clark." Bruce replied simply. It was always hard to grit out more than a few words in his presence, as he constantly felt like he should turn tail and run. It was one of the reasons why he chooses to communicate with grunts rather than speaking.

Clark walked inside, plopping himself on Bruce's bed. "Busy today? There's a game tonight and Gotham is playing against Metropolis. I got some tickets, if you'd like to come? I've already asked Lois, but she's too busy following her newest Lex scoop."

"Which is?"

"She's convinced that Luthor's been ordering sex toys filled with Kryptonite as a way to avoid detection. After he was caught last press conference, he tried to play it off as a new product they were planning on branching out to, but everyone knows that—"

"That Luthor's bald head is probably the last thing you'd want to get off to? Yeah, I figured."

"Yeah. Anyways, I'm pretty sure that one she finds what she's looking for she's gonna get one for me as a 'souvenir'. God, I hope she doesn't. That would be awkward to explain."

"Mhm." Bruce hummed, placing his book face-down on the table, unable to even continue the farce of reading it.

"So, about that game? I'll pay for everything if I have to." Clark waved the tickets in front of him, trying to tempt Bruce into accepting.

"Clark, you are aware that I'm a billionaire."

"Yeah, I know." Clark huffed. "Can't I just do something nice for my friend every once in a while?"

Bruce shook his head fondly, reaching over to grab his ticket from Clark's hand, trying to ignore the spike of fear he felt while getting closer.

"B, you good?" Clark frowned at him. "I heard your heart skip a beat or two."

"Fine." Bruce waved him off. "Let's talk about the game. I can't let you sit there thinking your team is going to win while I know very well the Knights are."

"Hey!"

[solarsimblr]

Nine people I want to get to know better

Thanks for the tags, @ennysimmer and @milliondollarnooboo! 🥰

Last song: Disease - Lady Gaga

Favourite colour: Green!

Currently watching: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 💀 A friend has been trying to get me into the franchise, and I can't say I don't love horrible trash TV... but there's SO much of it, my god.

Last movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love

Sweet, savoury, sour: Sweet

Currently reading: I recently picked up How to Solve Your Own Murder. Really enjoying reading mysteries lately!

Relationship: Not a lot going on at the moment!

Current obsession: Vegan chocolates! Trying to have less dairy and the options are hit or miss, but there've been some hits :')

Last google: Mostly addresses/phone numbers, but the last sims-related one was the find-a-mate crystal ball, which I've never used before but has been necessary for some uberhood things.

Currently working on: Planning a few trips to go on this summer, and renovating lots in my uberhood! It's taken me ages to get it to a playable state, but I started playing actual rounds a few days ago and I'm trying to spruce up certain lots as I go along. Some of the Maxis lots are really just... like that, huh...

Tagging @grimfolks, @resurrectonomitron, @cozy-sims, @melsie-sims, @coriel-muroz, @speakinginsimlish, @tipsypixel-sims, and anyone who wants to do this! ��

[rons-hypnotic-eyes]

RKDD time island serial murders spoilers

*and crack theories ahaha

Alrighty before tomorrow reveals some answers (HOPEFULLY) I have som crazy theories that I wanna posit about the island mystery.

Starting a bit tame:

1. I think everyone’s tag was ���murderer of Ron Kamonohashi” except for 2 people. Toto’s was Ron’s bodyguard, and Ron’s was Detective of ??? No one has won yet, despite multiple murders taking place. Of course, there could be detectives, but then it doesn’t seem like anyone is really investigating any deaths except our trio. Alice also promised answers to Ron if he survived long enough. More importantly though, no one has outright lost yet. Any bodyguards would lose as soon as their person is killed, but no one has lost. Of course, this is one of my looser theories because why not kill Ron when he’s tied up? And some of the character motivations and actions may not really align with them all needed to kill Ron.

2. Toto couldn’t find Ron anywhere on the island down any known paths. He didn’t seem to check Ron’s cabin, but I doubt that’s where he is. I believe there are underground tunnels that were used in the murders to move bodies from the island to the cottages and vice versa. We don’t know where Alice is staying on the island, but one of my friends pointed out that she has a window looking outside. I thinks he might have an underground room that looks out from the edge of the island. Also, the clock where the marks were moved could be the entrance to the tunnels.

This is where I get a little delulu but I have reasons ahshshsh

3. I think Cesar-kun could be Elliot Moriarty. Yep this is prob my crackiest theory. But though Ron watched his father get shot, it’s never said he’d seen his father’s dead body. Was there no funeral? Also, why is romi so unconcerned about her son? Perhaps, she is protecting her husband while distancing herself from Ron because Ron wants to be a great detective? Ok, so why Cesar?

In this scene we learn the gorgeous church are all raw vegans. However, we also find that Cesar prefers uncooked veggies. We know from the stew recipe that romi sent them, that Elliot prefers lightly cooked veggies!! Directly after eating Toto’s stew and listening to Toto talk about his father, Ron has a eureka moment where he figures things out. But what could he have figured out from eating the stew??

Not only this, but Cesar also talks about the flowers strewn around Maruru’s body even though he never saw the scene.

It’s especially eerie bc the scene is laid out so much like the Auberge case, with the first murder of the gardener. And we all know that entire case revolved around Elliot, because he used those people to orchestrate a rescue for someone being targeted by the moriartys.

Now we get into the reasoning for this island case, and Ron’s tags being marked as ??? The ??? Supposedly referring to his father, Elliot, who died when Ron was a child. I believe he did get shot in front of Ron, by some people. I thought at first it was someone sent by the moriartys because of his hand in the rescue of that one guy, but there must be more to it. Why would Alice dredge up an old murder case during this game? Why make Ron find who killed his father? What’s the purpose of that, especially bc if it was the m family, then Alice would already know who did it and it wouldn’t matter that much. Right? UNLESS Elliot didn’t die.

If Elliot was still alive, then she would be dealing Ron some psychological damage because he’s suffered trauma from watching his father be shot and killed. Only to find his father didn’t die and refused to show himself. (Similarish to spitz not knowing what happened to his brother)

4. Now this is an idea that a friend and I theorized on. What if Alice was the murderer all along. Assuming everyone’s tag is to murder Ron, then who’s been killing everyone else? Why didn’t Ron die when they were all tied up on the chairs? If Alice was the killer, then it would make sense. She’s been planning to kill all those people off because they’re loose ends and weak links etc. but she needs something to occupy Ron and company until the thing she’s waiting for happens. What better than a murder game? She can kill indiscriminately, and enjoy watching them all freak out and panic. And then she can maneuver Ron right where she wants him in time for the thing she is waiting for.

5. What is Alice waiting for? We see a book from James Moriarty on her table, and it was raining in the last chapter. Was it some sort of weather event, like a hurricane? Or perhaps a meteorite to hit the earth somewhere on the island, as the Moriarty book appears to suggest?? How are these things relevant to the murder game or Elliot’s “murder”? I’m still stumped on this tbh.

6. Gorgeous-sama isn’t dead. She is the only dead body that Toto couldn’t reach, to check for pulse. We know from movies and special effects thaf there are ways you can appear to be hanged, while not being dead: special harnesses and stuff. Why fake her death? It’s possible she could be a murderer, but… what if it’s romi? This is also gonna sound crazy, but hmo. Gorgeous makes predictions about things that are going to happen, and says the wind tells her things. Honestly it sounds like she’s making deductions and playing them off as spiritual whispers. She and Elliot needed to be on the island, for some reason, and they disguised themselves so Ron would never find out. This is one of my looser ideas, that gorgeous is romi, but I do genuinely think that she’s still alive.

7. Remember the guy who got ate by a shark at the beginning? What if that was completely planned and he didn’t die? There was no tag ready for him at the island. There wasn’t a missing chair. We never see a body, only parts of a life vest. He was supposed to die before they arrived in the island. If not Alice, I believe he’s a strong contender for being the murderer. Perhaps he is playing with Alice and has guaranteed his survival if he could kill certain people on the island.

PHEWW I think that covers all my crazy ideas. Y’all can disagree with me, and I’m super excited to read the next chapter and see all of the theories be wayyyyy waaayyyyy wrong.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ tell me more about Gerrard biting it at the murder mystery night!

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰ what’s happeniiiiiiing

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

Hey!!!!

30 for ☠️:

---

 “But I think someone commented on it being vegan.”

“Vegan,” Tommy agrees. 

“Vegan,” Matt and Mark from Harbor both answer. 

So there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that he chose the pitcher that was not supposed to contain clam juice. And still he died of an allergic reaction.

“Did your husband have any other allergies besides shellfish, Mrs. Gerrard?” Ransone asks Dorinda. 

“None that we knew of,” Dorinda says. 

“How quickly after he started drinking did Captain Gerrard react?” Ransone asks the party guests. 

“Maybe a minute? Two?” Eddie replies. “I don’t know. I was pretty buzzed already from drinking before the caesars came out. Time feels… Loose?”

“Two minutes? Less?” Hen frowns. “Really, I can’t say.”

“Could’ve been forty-five seconds?” Karen answers. “I’m not sure.”

“A minute and a half?” Buck guesses. “I wasn’t paying a ton of attention to him.”

“God, I don’t know,” Chim sighs.

“A minute,” Tommy answers confidently. “It was a minute.”

---

30 for ➰:

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

---

He turns to see the kayak rack lurching, sending the top kayak sliding out, fast and hard onto the sand. It lands right where he was standing.

It would have hit him. Right in the back of the head. Buck feels a faint throb in the back of his skull and lifts a hand to touch it. 

“Oh my god!” Brittany shouts. “That was close!”

But Buck doesn’t respond to her. Instead, he catches sight of Eddie. 

Eddie is standing, a few feet away, arms planted firmly at his sides, staring. He’s just staring at Buck. His jaw is clenched. His eyes are big. He’s not really breathing. 

“Dad?” Chris asks, noticing his father’s frozen state. “Are you okay?”

“Eddie?” Buck adds. 

“How did you know that was going to happen?” Eddie asks. His voice is low. Accusatory.

“What?” Buck asks. “I didn’t.”

“You didn’t,” Eddie repeats. 

“I just… I had a bad feeling.”

---

36 for 🚨:

---

“We go,” Eddie says. “Together. I hold your hand. You grit your teeth. Maddie sees you aren’t the issue.  And then we bitch about them the entire drive home.”

Buck sighs. “Doesn’t seem totally fair.”

“It’s not,” Eddie agrees. 

But what is? The unasked question. Right. ‘

“We aren’t bringing Chris,” Buck insists. “I won’t.”

“Definitely not,” Eddie agrees. “I won’t even introduce him to mine properly.”

“Okay,” Buck agrees eventually. “Thank you, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles sympathetically. “I’ve got your back. You know that.” 

And he does know it. 

iii.

They do exactly what Eddie suggests. They agree to a single dinner. They dress nicely. They bring a side dish. Baked brie and fig jam. Something Bobby taught him. 

Buck reminds himself it’s all for show. For Maddie. For himself. But an insidious little part of him whispers a quieter truth. You still want to impress them. You still want their approval. He know it’s true. And he fucking hates it.

---

36 for ⚡️:

---

He’s not sure why this is so significant. It’s not like Bobby is doing anything different from what he’d normally be doing. Being friendly in a social setting. He’s just being himself; a happy, unburdened version of himself. Buck knows what the inverse looks like, too. But somehow, it is significant. 

A year and a half ago, when Buck first made the decision to cut his parents out of his life, there had been a sort of loss. Not a real one, but a psychological one. The loss of an idea maybe. The misheld delusion that one day things could get better, and he could have parents to celebrate him during these big milestones. That they’d want to. If he put in the work. If he could be better, be less explosive around them. Less sensitive. There was a long part of his life where the idea of getting married without his parents would have filled him with shame and grief and emptiness. 

He doesn’t feel any of those things today. No shame, no grief, no emptiness. He feels proud. He feels joy. He feels loved, fully. And he doesn’t feel like he’s missing his parents, in any way, shape, or form. He is not lacking anything with their absence. 

He feels like he has exactly who he needs. 

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice interrupts his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Buck replies. 

“You okay?”

Buck realizes he’s been staring into space, in Bobby’s general direction. 

“Oh. Yes. Yeah, I’m great actually.”

Eddie squeezes his knee under the table. “Good. I’m glad.”

Buck looks down the table at everyone who has showed up for them tonight. 

Yeah, there’s nothing empty about his life at all.

[vegan-childrens-stories]

The Organ Grinder (part five)

PLEASE NOTE: THIS MURDER MYSTERY/ CRIME STORY IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER FIFTEEN YEARS OLD For the story so far, click here * “Bamboo.” The coded message over the intercom indicated to Fran and Toby that there was an update. “Interview suspended at 14:23.” Fran got up to leave. “Tea break?” asked Carter miserably, “Two sugars in mine.” “Not a tea break, no.” said Toby, “just an…

[mightyflamethrower]

Progressives progress, thereby reaching ever more alarming extremes of moonbattery. Beyond the media, beyond the Democratic Party, beyond the Ivy League, beyond even most LGBT types you will find the Zizians. Being evil and insane, they are a threat to public safety:

The murder of a US Border Patrol agent near the Canadian border appears to be linked to a radical leftist trans militant cult accused of killings across the country. Around a week before the Jan. 20 attack, federal law enforcement had been surveilling German national Felix “Ophelia” Bauckholt and University of Washington student Teresa “Milo” Consuelo Youngblut.

Suspect and Possible Cult Member Makes Court Appearance In Vallejo Killing as Further Links Revealed to Other Murders

Just as they pretend to be members of the opposite sex, they play act as commandos, dressing in black tactical clothing. But it’s not all fun and games. On Inauguration Day, US Border Patrol Agent David Maland stopped their car in Coventry, Vermont. They killed him.

This could represent the tip of an iceberg of moonbat mayhem:

Authorities now say the guns used by Youngblut and Bauckholt are owned by a person of interest in other murders — and connected to a mysterious cult of transgender “geniuses” who follow a trans leader named Jack LaSota, also known by the alias “Ziz.”

Agents fired back, killing Bauckholt, who couldn’t figure out which bathroom to use but was a genius at math. High IQs are no defense against moonbattery. On the contrary, the smarter and more educated moonbats are, the deeper they can talk themselves into a realm of sheer psychosis.

Be sure to use the preferred pronouns “xe/xem/xyrs” when referring to Youngblut, computer science student at University of Washington. Her hoity-toity background includes attending the Lakeside School like Bill Gates.

Looks like we have encountered another manifestation of Trantifa:

Her social media account on BlueSky shows she followed some Antifa-aligned far-left accounts.

Youngblut’s plans to marry fellow Lakeside alumnus Maximilian Bentley Snyder have hit a snag:

Last week, Snyder, an “any pronouns” computer science whiz from a wealthy Seattle family, was arrested in Vallejo, Calif., for the murder of an elderly key witness set to testify in an upcoming attempted murder trial against alleged members of the trans extremist group.

Regarding the witness,

In November 2022, 82-year-old Curtis Lind narrowly survived an assassination attempt by three members of the “Ziz” group who were squatting on his property in Solano County, Calif. They impaled him with a sword and repeatedly stabbed him. Lind shot two of the assailants, killing Amir “Emma” Borhanian. He lost an eye in the attack and spent a month in the hospital.

Snyder is accused of slitting his throat afterward.

Leftist cults nest within each other like sinister Russian dolls, each representing a realm of still more profound depravity. LGBTism within liberalism, transsexualism within LGBTism, Trantifa within transsexualism, Zizians evidently within Trantifa.

Among the topics explored by cult leader Jack “Ziz” LaSota (a.k.a. “Andrea Phelps”) is “transhumanism.”

On the positive side, Zizians are vegans, so they don’t offend the weather by eating the flesh of murdered animals.

[sicksucculentz]

Regretavator headcanons: Bive. part 2

She can clack her teeth together very loudly and very fast. She does this when she's happy and or excited about something. She tends to do it it a lot when she gets to spend time with Split. It freaked Split out a little the very first time she saw/heard this. They were having dinner together one night and were seated across from each other at a circular table. Bive was gripping the edges of the table with both hands, she sat leaning forward over the table a little, staring at Split, classic frequently seen grin across her face and loudly clacking her teeth at Split. Split just sat there staring back at her with this slightly scared and concerned look on her face.

Now, Split isn't scared of Bive at their current status but when they first met each other Split thought Bive was going to maul her or something. The twitching, paranoia, fits of delusion, and her sure size scared her off at first. She found even though she was a little freaked out by Bive she was genuinely curious about the strange hairy mess and took a risk spending more time around her and boy is she glad she took that risk.

She likes eating chicken in a particular way. She loves it dry and loves to peal it by strands. Of course she eats it as normal but does the peeling thing while she’s chewing. It’s just entertaining to her. She used her claws to do it.

Split often cooks for her. She doesn't now how to properly cook meats so her meals are vegan. Bive has no issue with this at all and quite enjoys her cooking! Split was the one to introduce her to chickpeas. Bive forgot what they were called when asking for them again later and called them “little sand orbs” because of their gritty texture that reminded her of sand. Split often serves her peppermint or ginger tea with her coffee, helps to settle her stomach.

Bive and Split have dinner with each other every Friday. Lampert and Party Noob come to sometimes!

Bive used to be a ball of lint and dog hair! She formed from this ball of lint and dog hair! She started out looking much like a spider. It took her 28 years to reach the point she’s at now aging her 28 of course. She is cannonly a lab accident apparently as it says in her wiki. She was cared for in the beginning years of her life by 4 different female scientists that she grew to view as mothers. They had to leave her at the lab overnight sense it was illegal to take something made in the lab home so she was completely on her own besides the night guards that sometimes kept her company, most of them were scared of her and didn't want to interact.

Bive will not stop growing and evolving. It took her 28 years to get to her current state and size at about 6 ' 8 and about 300lbs rounding up. She's not done growing at all. Much like the teeth of rodents she grows and grows and grows. The growth and evolutions to her body will not end until something ends her life, it's unknown if she can die of old age. She was kind of adorable as a "baby" she looked a bit like those worms on a string but with little spider like legs. She would scuttle around eating bugs, crumbs, other peoples lunches if left out, snacks left out, small meals given to her by staff, and just about anything she could find and fit in her mouth. She only had 3 teeth on the top and bottom and it took her like 3 years to reach a size big enough to finish a whole sandwich.

A smart cookie she was able to pick up language by creeping around others. Doing this also gave her an insight to more than just English. She knows a tiny amount of Korean, French, German, and Spanish! It's not nearly enough to be fluent though, hell she still fucks English up sometimes.

She tends to know a lot of different things but it's more along the lines of dabbling in the surface level of many different topics. She has one little section of something that she's got a lot of depth in and that tends to be criminal justice. She loves true crime, murder mysteries, and even conspiracies!

[capricorndevil15]

🔪 EJ09 Big Murder Essay or Whatever

Ethereal Justice 2009 is a supernatural horror/2000s period piece about very sad Canadian teenagers. It’s also a murder mystery, so in this essay I’ll be walking us through the main suspects and a few theories as to who murdered Freddie, our victim. Since the webcomic has a huge cast of characters to keep track of, I’ll be going over each character and their locations at the time of the murder (don’t worry I also drew a map). The information I’ve gathered comes from the webcomic itself as well as the accompanying fictional blogs run by the characters. The accompanying images were all drawn by the comic's author, Kyontara, unless stated otherwise. Without further ado, let’s get into it!

The murder took place at a birthday party. I’ll be discussing each character in the order they arrive at the party. Aside from Freddie, of course, who will go first to set the scene...

FREDDIE VAN DIJK, 18yrs

He’s the one who died. Freddie likes dogs and his boyfriend Nathan. He moved from Holland to Canada as a young teen, and he speaks both Dutch and English. He is notably allergic to gluten, and (according to his boyfriend) he never drank alcohol. Seems like he was a nice, friendly guy.

At some point during Amy Chettel’s party, he died. His body was found by Nathan the morning after the party, lying face-down in Amy’s backyard. He had a traumatic injury to his head, and according to the police report his blood-alcohol content was very high. Officially, his death is recorded as an accident ie: he fell from the second floor of Amy’s house because he was being drunk and stupid. Nathan does not believe this.

AMY CHETTEL, 18yrs

The birthday girl and valedictorian of her soon-to-be graduating class. Amy is throwing the lamest house party ever; she’s not serving alcohol, and no one is allowed to go upstairs. (lol) She’s bookish and very into Canadian politics (she’s a democrat). Seems friendly, and a bit stressed out. Doesn’t seem like the type to typically go around breaking girls’ spines.

She works at the library with her friend Nathan, and they seem to be gossip buddies. She knows most of the other kids in her class, since she invited them all to her house. At the start of the comic, Amy is dating Stacey Hayden. Although she cares about Stacey, she feels they’ve been distant lately. 

It can be assumed that Amy arrived first, since the party is at her house. She spends most of her time downstairs mingling with guests, but she ends the night upstairs.

TOBY ELLISON, 18yrs

Toby is a cool girl. She’s chill, level-headed. She’s fashionable and she likes rock music. She makes her own earrings. She’s great friends with Leah and knows the rest of Leah’s squad by proxy. She is protective of her younger cousin, Lucas, often checking up on him. She also has a crush on Kenji, and the two start dating a few weeks after the party.

It’s unclear when exactly she arrived at Amy’s party, but she is already there and hanging out with Kenji when the comic starts. Later in the night, she leaves early to get snacks with Leah and Stevie. 

KENJI KOBAYASHI, ??yrs

At the moment, we don’t know a lot about Kenji. He’s vegan. Sometime after the party, he starts dating Toby. He doesn’t have his own blog (yet?), but he leaves comments on other character’s blogs, particularly Toby and Lucas’. Seems to bridge the gap between the cool kids and the weirdos.

Like Toby, he is already at the party when the comic starts. We don’t know when he left. Early in the night, he’s hanging out with Toby. He doesn’t go with Toby, Leah, and Stevie though.

NATHAN RAMACHANDRAN, 18yrs

Mean gay boy in a sweater. He’s a preppy nerd like Amy, but he’s a bit “cooler” too. He has a temper and often gets into fights with other kids, both verbal and physical. He’s also a boxer. Nathan seems to regard most people with disdain, aside from the few friends he is close to and trusts. He loves his boyfriend to bits. He has tourettes, poliosis, and he’s colorblind.

At the start of the comic, he’s already at the party making out with Freddie. The boys are together for most of the party, until just after Stacey arrives, when Nathan goes outside to smoke weed with Leah and Stevie. He doesn’t leave with them, though. He crashes on Amy’s couch and wakes up still there the next day. Shortly after waking up, he sees his boyfriend’s dead body through the window. This greatly affects him. In later comic pages, he is seen with bags under his eyes and unkempt hair. He’s desperate to find out what really happened to Freddie.

Nathan is a complicated guy. The Duality of Nathan is strong. Not to completely switch gears, but he’s also a huge bully. In particular, he seems to target Sammy and Ben. He’s gotten into physical altercations with Sammy and injured him pretty bad. He also cyberbullies Ben. Every interaction Nathan has with Ben online involves him making fun of Ben for being gay, or refusing to admit that he’s gay. He even collaborated with Leah to write an NSFW fanfiction about Sammy and Ben. Like. This shit is just mean.

LEAH BAILEY-SANCHEZ, 18yrs

Super cute girl, really into fashion and gossip. A little trashy. Fun. Rich. She’s been dating Stevie for a long time, and she often spends whole days at his house. She’s trans, and her home life has been rough since she came out, so it seems she rarely goes home. Besties with Nathan. Her, Stevie, Nathan, and Freddie seem to form a group. Leah is also good friends with Toby and Stacey, though. Leah used to be friends with Sammy, until they creeped her out majorly, and now she thinks he’s gross. Along with Nathan, she cyberbullies Ben so bad that he stopped using his blog altogether.

It’s not clear when Leah arrived at the party, but she was there before Stacey. After cake time, she’s seen getting high on the porch with Stevie and Nathan. She also leaves to go get snacks with Toby and Stevie.

STEVIE CARTER, 19yrs

Stevie is a stoner and he likes horror movies and baggy t-shirts. He is a year older than most of the cast and graduated one year before them. He seems like a loyal friend, but a bit spacey. He and Leah have been dating for a long time, and she sleeps at his house often. Stevie is trans (they’re T4T), and he’s had top surgery. Sammy has long-standing beef with him over Leah, but if Stevie cares he doesn’t show it. Really, really chill guy.

It is not clear when he arrived at the party, but he was there before Stacey. After having cake, he and Leah smoke weed on the porch with Nathan. He leaves with Leah and Toby to get snacks.

BENJAMIN ANTONI COX, 18yrs

He listens to The Smiths. Ben likes horses a lot and is a fan of the show Heartland, a drama series about farmers with problems. His favorite character is Storm, a horse. He speaks Polish and English. It seems his parents are Polish immigrants, and they only speak Polish. His family is also devoutly religious, and he enthusiastically advertises for the local christian church on his blog. Ben is always pictured with a cross necklace; he even wears it to sleep.

I’m not sure what the situation is with the church or the rest of his family, and I suspect it’s not great, but Ben himself is at least civil towards other queer kids at his school. He acknowledges that Nathan and Freddie were dating (refers to them as “lovers”) and offers his condolences to Nathan after Freddie’s death. Still, it seems like he’s dealing with internalized homophobia about his own crush on Sammy. We’ll put a pin in that.

He’s church buddies with Sammy and seemingly good friends with his sister Anna as well, although he is relentlessly bullied by other students in his class for being an obviously gay closeted church boy.

Ben arrives at Amy's house after most of the other guests have gotten there, but he's on time for cake, and also there before Stacey and Lucas. He’s with Anna and Sammy. The group splits up for some time, but Ben and Sammy eventually meet up again and go to the upstairs bathroom. Putting several pins in this.

SAMMY NGUYEN, 18yrs

Scene boy xtreme. He owns a gir hoodie. He :3. He likes hatsune miku, anime, and waffles. He is autistic and has a verbal stim where he says “nyem” often at the end of his sentences. I won’t pretend he’s not my favorite character. He is a digital artist, and he drew Amy an anime portrait for her birthday. He has cosplayed before and has an interest in crossdressing (notably talks about cosplaying Konata and Kagami from Lucky Star). He watches hentai, owns a figurine of a Gainax bunnygirl, and sometimes he makes weirdly sexual remarks about himself. Don’t know if he’s joking or not.

Sammy is close friends with (and probably has a crush on) Ben. He’s also friends with Lucas and Anna. At one point, he was friends with Leah, until he asked if she wanted to make out with him and was subsequently never invited to her house again. He is bullied at school for being an annoying weirdo, and when I say he’s bullied I mean he’s getting beat up. By Nathan.

Sammy arrives at the party with Ben and Anna. He spends a few hours shilling out his commissions, but no one buys art from him. He hangs out with Ben, and sometime later the two of them wind up alone in the upstairs bathroom doing exactly what you think they’re doing. I’ll get back to this part. Just wait.

ANNA COX, ??yrs

She’s Ben’s sister. She wears a kitty hat. Seems to hang out with Ben and Sammy often. That is all we know about her at the moment. 

She arrives at the party with Ben and Sammy. But at some point she becomes separated from them, and I don’t know where she goes after that.

STACEY HAYDEN, 17yrs

Moody goth. Supremely pissed off at their mom for fucking off to Vancouver and at their dad for being useless at home and transphobic. They also have an older brother who is away at college. They’re basically having a difficult time at home and goin’ through a depressive episode. They often feel that they aren’t able to meet their girlfriend Amy’s expectations, which has led them to resent her. They are also (childhood?) friends with Lucas Katz, and enemies with Nathan.

Stacey’s dad claims he’s too busy to drive them, so Stacey and Lucas have to walk to Amy’s party. They arrive late, after the cake has already been served. They’re the last guests to be shown arriving.

 After an altercation where Amy asks why Stacey has been so distant lately, Stacey winds up crying in the upstairs bedroom with Lucas comforting them. Lucas consoles them and does that really dweeby niceguy thing where he’s like “ohh I’m sorry, you’re so beautiful and you don’t deserve it ohhhif I w as your boyfriend I’d treat you better..…” And Stacey, feeling impulsive and validated for the first time that night, kisses him.

At the same time, Amy is in the kitchen talking with Lola. She hears a THUD from upstairs and, seeing as how there aren’t supposed to be any guests upstairs, she goes to investigate. She walks in on Stacey cheating on her with Lucas, and she’s so mad. She tells them to get out NOW. Stacey is like “Yeah okay fine but first I gotta pee” and has the audacity to use the bathroom before leaving. On their way out, they call Amy a bitch. Amy snaps and pushes Stacey down the stairs, breaking their spine.

I assume? The party ended shortly after this, since they probably needed to call an ambulance for Stacey.

LUCAS KATZ, 17yrs

A shy nerd and gamer. And I do not like him. He keeps to himself, but he is friends with Stacey and Sammy. Toby Ellison is his older cousin, and they have a friendly relationship too. The most notable thing about his character so far is that he has a massive crush on Stacey and has been hopelessly pursuing them for years. He helped Stacey cheat on their girlfriend at the party. Wow, what a cool guy. :|

When he first arrives, Toby invites him to go grab snacks with her squad, but he turns her down and goes to comfort Stacey upstairs. For the majority of his time at the party, he’s in the bedroom with Stacey. I suppose we don’t know this for sure, but he probably left soon after Stacey took their fall. 

In later updates, it is revealed that he and Stacey are now dating. He visits Stacey in the hospital often and they watch anime together. Stacey’s cheating and spine-breakage were overshadowed by Freddie fucking dying, so most of the kids don’t realize that he and Stacey are cheaters. The only ones who seem to know are Amy and Nathan.

ALRIGHT SO ABOUT THOSE PINS. I haven’t explained how Sammy and Ben left the party yet. Well! As previously mentioned, there was a THUD upstairs. Amy hears it from the first floor, and Stacey and Lucas hear it coming from the room next to them. The room next to them was the bathroom, where Sammy and Ben were. A few minutes later, when Stacey opens the door to the bathroom, Ben and Sammy walk out quickly without saying a word. Presumably, they leave after this. That’s weird! Pause, we’ll get back to this later!

First, there are a few more characters of importance to review. Most of these are minor characters without much info, but they were guests at the party so I’m documenting them for the sake of being thorough.

LOLA HOFFMAN ??yrs

She’s Amy’s best friend. So far, she has only appeared in one page of the comic. At the party, she urges Amy to break up with Stacey, saying that Stacey doesn’t “compare to your [Amy’s] level”.

It is unclear when exactly she arrived at the party, or when she left. It can be assumed that she arrived in time for cake and before Stacey and Lucas.

JAKEY BOUCHARD, ??yrs 

A freshman who’s antics are frequently gossiped about by the older characters. He seems like a silly guy. Leah definitely hit him with her car that one time.

At the start of the comic, he is already at the party precariously stacking a box of oreos atop a tower of red solo cups. No idea where he goes after this.

ADAM HORTON, ??yrs

He was at the party, pictured next to Jakey, Toby, and Kenji. That is all we know about this character at the moment. He is probably Angel’s brother?

ANGEL HORTON, ??yrs

She was at the party. She finds Lucas to tell him that Stacey needs him upstairs. She is probably Adam’s sister? That’s all we know.

WOLF SCOTT, ??yrs

GREGORY SANCHEZ, ??yrs

A pair of scene kids who were also at the party. They’re dating. That’s all we know.

There are also a few other characters who weren’t in attendance at the party, but they are important to the overall plot and worth mentioning so that we fully understand the world in which this story is set.

ANDREW HAYDEN, 20yrs

Andrew is Stacey’s older brother, who is allegedly away at college. At this time, Andrew has not made an appearance in the comic, and the only information about him can be found through his blog. He seems to really like plants, and he might be a business major. He notably misgenders Stacey several times on his blog and uses their deadname.

The most interesting thing about Andy’s blog is his interactions with a mysterious user named Werd. It seems like Werd has been harassing Andy for some time.

WERD, !?

This is the pseudonym of the user who runs the DEADBRAIN191919 blog. It is very likely that Werd is the alter ego of someone in the cast, we just don’t know who yet. They’re very Jeff the Killer. They go on indecipherable rants on their blog, and they are obsessed with Andrew. So far, Werd has only interacted with Andrew and Lucas. They only have one online friend (and it’s probably Andrew). (Unless it’s Freddie and their friend-count is gonna go up every time someone dies. Only time will tell.) They’re weird. They had something to do with Freddie’s murder (probably), but at this time it’s unclear what they did or who they really are.

THE DEMONS

There are also some demons in this comic, but they weren’t at the party and I really don’t think any of them were the murderer so I am not gonna get into it. For now, just know that hell is real, and supernatural happenings are certainly afoot.

OKAY SO now that we’ve been over all our main suspects, we can put together our timeline. Freddie was with Nathan for most of the party, up until cake was served. After this, the boys separated and Nathan went to smoke weed on the porch with Leah and Stevie. According to Nathan, cake was served between 8-8:30pm and he was outside without Freddie by 8:30pm. Stacey and Lucas also arrived after cake was served, so sometime after 8pm. The party ended around 9pm and most people (presumably) left at that time. I assume this is also when Amy pushed Stacey down the stairs. Given what we know, I believe Freddie must have been killed sometime between 8:30-9pm that night. 

Drawings from Nathan's diary documenting the timeline of the party

Here is a map of characters’ locations during the 8:30-9pm timeframe. The map is bad, but there is a murderer on the loose so we don’t have time to make good maps. Leah, Stevie, Nathan, and Toby are on the front porch (but Leah, Stevie, and Toby are about to leave while Nathan stays the night.) Amy is upstairs, about to walk in on Stacey and Lucas in the bedroom. Next door, Sammy and Ben are in the bathroom experiencing their gay awakening. Freddie's body is found in the backyard the next day.

There are some minor characters who cannot be accounted for, but because we don’t know much about them I also can’t properly speculate on whether they are the murderer at this point.

It’s also important to note that a huge commotion went down around this same time. Stacey is caught cheating with Lucas, Ben and Sammy leave the bathroom together, Amy pushes Stacey down the stairs. And if you’ll remember, all these events were catalyzed by a loud THUD coming from the bathroom. I believe the THUD is really important. I believe this was the moment Freddie died. By now, I’m sure it’s obvious: I think Sammy and Ben killed Freddie. 

Here’s what I think happened: Freddie is somehow drunk. He goes upstairs to the bathroom, accidentally walking in on Sammy and Ben getting it on. Sammy and Ben freak out. Ben isn’t out yet, it’s dangerous for another student to know he’s gay. They might tell his family. They might tell everyone. And worse, this guy is Nathan’s boyfriend, this guy is part of the group of people who have relentlessly bullied Sammy & Ben for years. It could only have been worse if Nathan walked in there himself. 

It’s easy to imagine the boys feeling scared and even angry about this. There was some sort of altercation between the boys and Freddie, and whether it was an accident or on purpose, one of them pushed Freddie out the bathroom window. 

Soon after this, Stacey knocks on the door. Startled, Ben and Sammy leave the party totally stone-faced. They don’t wanna tell anybody. They’re afraid they’ll get in trouble. By the time Freddie’s death is public knowledge, it feels like it’s been too long and now they definitely can’t come forward. So they just…don’t tell anyone. And they’re freakin’ out. To be clear, this is batshit behavior but I fully believe that teenagers would act this way. 

So far, this is the theory for which I have the strongest evidence. Ben and Sammy have a motive to kill Freddie. Of the characters who were upstairs, they’re the only ones who don’t have an alibi. However, it does not explain how Freddie ended up drunk when he never drank and no alcoholic drinks were served. I also don’t believe that Ben and Sammy would drug Freddie. This requires a level of pre-meditation that just doesn’t fit the situation. Even if it was Ben and Sammy who pushed him out the window, there had to be someone else involved in the drugging.

While it’s possible that Freddie brought alcohol and drank of his own volition, it would be out of character for him. Nathan also would have noticed his boyfriend was drunk, and he probably would have drank with him tbh. It seems more likely that Freddie was drugged, or ate something that contained alcohol. This likely happened after he separated from Nathan, so after he ate cake.

 It’s at this point that I’d like to remind us that Freddie was allergic to gluten. He shouldn’t have been able to eat cake. But according to Nathan, he definitely did. Either Amy ordered/baked a gluten-free cake for everyone (which would be in-character for her to do), or there was a separate smaller cake provided just for Freddie that was gluten-free. If there was a smaller cake just for Freddie, it’s possible that the cake simply contained alcohol, like a rum cake. So, the alcohol in his system could be a red herring. But, it’s also possible that someone spiked it, with the intent of drugging Freddie to disorient him.

The problem is I don’t have a clear theory for who would do this. Amy is a suspect since it was her birthday cake, but she has no motive to kill Freddie. Anyone who was at the party before cake was served could be a suspect, so basically anyone but Stacey and Lucas could have done it.

To make things even less clear, EJ09 has supernatural elements to it that haven’t been fully explored yet. There are demons, and the demons can talk to ghosts. It’s possible any number of weird ghost-possession-y things could have been involved in Freddie’s death. Wouldn’t it be wack if he was possessed, and Sammy and Ben just watched their classmate calmly walk past them and jump out the window? That would be wild. Like what the fuck. I love this webcomic.

In conclusion, I strongly believe Sammy and Ben know something or were directly involved in Freddie’s death. There is still a lot that we don’t know, however. We’ll have to wait and see. If you’ve read this entire thing and haven’t read EJ09 yet, you should probably read it. Seems that you’ll like it! This concludes my extremely long essay about how I’m right and the best detective ever. Take it easy!

-Teratoaster <3

[liminalgayhorror]

Some of my hoas headcanons:

Ari & Ezra are besties. The writer and the actor. They make a good duo despite their differences. Their friendship is a little weird but somehow it makes sense so everyone goes along with it.

Chris & Noelle used to be close before their personalities truly changed but they're still friendly with each other and Chris might not truly care about the paranormal but for Noelle he cares.

At some point everyone started thinking that Mike & Demi are annoying even more than Bobby. Bobby is overjoyed by this.

Bobby & Chris used to be total pranksters growing up at Pineway, they were annoying but they also made everyone laugh so they got away with it most of the time.

Bobby is a total chatterbox, Chris is quieter so everyone is always assuming that Bobby is speaking for the both of them.

It's not that Bobby has a bad memory, he just doesn't notice that much outside of himself and Chris and everyone knows this but only Jason takes offense.

Bobby & Chris used to look up to Jason when they were younger and they used to be Jason's favorites but then they grew up and he became "uncool" to them. Jason is still hurt by this.

Claire is everyone's favorite female counselor because she's the most real of them all. She's like their big sister.

Miley hasn't realized yet that she's not actually vegan/vegetarian she actually has an eating disorder.

Demi did turn her phone in but not all of her other devices and she's still recording her videos and posting to social media because she figured out the wifi password years ago. Claire knows this, Jason doesn't.

Miley and Noelle have a weird friendship but Demi used to be Miley's best friend before she started dating Mike.

Mike & Bobby are not actually that much different, the others just like Mike better for some reason and Bobby knows this.

There are three running pools at camp, one is for how long Chris & Shannon are gonna last, one is for how long it will take for Jason & Claire to get together and the last one is for how long it will take for Bobby to realize his feelings for Chris.

Chris & Noelle are the best ones at telling ghost stories and they're always watching horror movies in the rec room. Bobby hates this.

Bobby flirts with Miley & Demi all the time but not with Noelle & Claire because they're off limits and he hates Shannon so he's not touching that.

Chris & Shannon are total opposites they just haven't realized this yet but Claire & Bobby have.

Ari, Ezra & Noelle are working on a script for a murder mystery horror they want to present at the end of summer. They like acting it out at night in the theater.

Jason, Claire & Chris are the kids' favorites. Bobby, Shannon, Demi & Mike are the least favorites.

The little girls love Miley's hair and are always doing braids or other hairstyles for her.

I have more but I think those are way too many already. What about you? Do you agree with some of these? Do you have some headcanons of your own?

I like these. Although I totally disagree that the kids wouldn’t like Shannon. I think she’s well liked just as much if not more than Claire (I think Claire would be overly strict way more often than Shannon would).

I think the rest are cute and real.

I posted a few hcs a while back but tbh I’m not the best at coming up with them. Any hc I actually like quickly becomes spoilers for my fic so they’re a bit hard to share. But I seriously love hearing others hcs especially for characters I don’t quite get since they can give me insight into how others see them.

[pickledpascal]

Bewitched

Chapter One: Who Is She?

Warnings: mentions of murder, hating on cops a lil bit (deserved)

Word Count: 2.5k

Bewitched Masterlist

Next Chapter |

Beau Arlen stepped out of his beloved truck, Pedro, and took a glance at his surroundings. He parked just outside Dewell and Hoyt Investigation Agency as he usually did after Denise gave him a meal to take home with him. This time it was vegan stuffed peppers. He wasn't sure how it was vegan, it tasted a lot like meat but wasn't. Somehow. He grabbed the dish out of his passenger seat and then looked around to make sure he wouldn't accidentally bump into someone. 

His lips parted when he saw a woman walking in his direction. She wore all black—a long skirt, sweater, shoes, socks, and a brimmed hat—the only thing that wasn't jet black were her earrings. They were silver and dangled below her chin. Her hair was what caught Beau’s attention, jet black with a section of it dyed blonde in the front of her face. Her olive skin gave him an indication of her ancestry. Beau wanted to get a better look at her first.

Before he could even think to try to walk up to her and ask her name, she disappeared inside a café just a few storefronts away. 

Beau took a breath, shaking the mystery woman from his thoughts as he entered the office. He smiled as he saw Denise. No Cassie or Jenny. Jenny was likely at work already. “Hey! Dewell out?” He greeted as he handed over Denise’s cookware. It was cleaned so well that it shined in the overhead lights.

“Yeah, new case and all that.” Denise smiled as she took the dish and set it on the side of her desk, away from important papers and things but close enough that she wouldn't forget it when she went home. 

Beau sat at the edge of Cassie’s desk, facing Denise. He tapped his fingertips on the desk and pursed his lips. “I, uh, saw this girl outside,” He began. If anyone knew who she was, it was likely Denise. “Wore all black. That's not too common around here, is it?” 

Denise had a knowing look in her eyes, letting out a small laugh. “No, not at all. You must be talking about Kiera. She's our town goth.” She hummed as she organized a few papers for Cassie to look at when she came back. “She's originally from New York. A single mom and her child is,” She paused. “She's interesting. She got pregnant young, I think. She's twenty-six, her daughter is seven.” 

Beau hummed as he took in the information. In all his years in Texas, he encountered quite a lot of different kinds of people. For some reason, he never saw a goth walk on the streets of Houston throughout his life. Maybe there were, he just never saw one. He wanted to get to know her. She had easily captured his interest without getting a proper look at her.

“I also think she's a lawyer.” Denise's eyes narrowed slightly in thought. “I see her going into a local firm a lot but I'm not a hundred percent sure.”

Well, shit. 

Apparently, Beau had quite a thing for lawyers. Carla was one and he was interested in a few pre-law students in his college years.

Beau let out a sigh as he exited the office, trying to catch a glimpse of Kiera yet again but it seemed she was either still in the café or had left this part of town. He needed to get to work anyway. 

For the first time in a few months, the station had nothing big going on. No missing backpacker somehow connected to a decades-long cold case. Jenny’s mom was in custody. Tonya and Donno seemed relatively tame. For the time being. Beau had decided to stay as sheriff, deciding the change of scenery would be nice. Even if it was connected to a hell of a lot of stuff he wanted to forget about in the long run. 

Unfortunately for him, that meant Jenny had more time to flirt with him. Which was fun at first. When he reciprocated. He realized, in the long run, that he liked Jenny better as a friend. Yet he hadn't said that out loud to her. 

Early one morning, Beau went to the café he saw Kiera enter. He wanted to check it out. And if she just so happened to be there then that'd be a plus. There was a mix of people inside. Young and old. Different races. The café itself was cozy with an array of furniture, loveseats, armchairs, mismatched tables, and vintage posters—framed and unframed—tacked onto the walls. The smell of freshly baked goods hit his nose as his gaze found the display case and front counter. How did he miss this place? Beau had been on the hunt for a nice café to drop by before work for a while. 

In front of the counter was Kiera. Still in all black but this time she wore loose jeans, platform boots that made her quite a few inches taller than Beau, and a leather jacket with an array of multi-colored patches sewn on.

She noticed him when he stepped closer. She lifted her head and gave him a small smile, stepping away. She motioned for him to go ahead of her. “Sorry. I'm just waiting for my coffee.” 

Beau was blown away. Her cheekbones were well-defined, as was her jaw, her cupid's bow wasn't as well-defined so her top lip was more ovular. What astonished him more were the spikes peeking out from her nostrils, her dusky eyes, her hair that was pulled back into two long braids, and the heavy, dark eyeliner on her eyes. He had never seen a lawyer quite like her. 

“No, uh, I'm new here,” Beau recovered as quickly as he could. He knew he was staring. He shifted his eyes to the menu. “Anything you recommend?” 

Kiera glanced down at the badge on Beau’s hip then looked into his eyes. He could tell there was an internal battle going on inside her. He was oblivious as to why. “I like the chai lattes. But you seem like a black coffee sort of guy.” Her tone was clipped, weary. 

“You'd be right about that. My daughter can't believe it, she drinks coffee that's almost white and calls me weird. Sometimes I can't believe she's my kid. Looks a lot more like her mother.” Beau laughed. He could chat anyone's ear off if he really wanted to. “What about pastries? They all look so good.” 

Kiera looked at Beau weirdly, skepticism in her eyes. “The raspberry and cream cheese croissant is pretty good.” 

Her name was called. She quickly grabbed her coffee and left the café, not sparing Beau a second glance. 

The officer let out a sigh. That didn't go how he planned. Kiera was standoffish and he couldn't exactly place why. 

Beau ordered what she recommended and didn't dig in until he made it to his office and sat at his desk. He let out a hum of satisfaction at his first sip of the latte. It was more sugary than what he was used to but it was delicious nonetheless. It went down his throat smoothly and sent warmth throughout his body. The croissant had a similar effect. Flakey crumbs fell on his desk but it was too delicious for him to stop and clean them off. The soft crunch, the velvety cream, the tart raspberry jam. It became apparent why Kiera frequented that café. He was having an out-of-body experience in the solitude of his office spurred on by a simple pairing of a chai latte and an immaculately made croissant.

Yeah, Beau would go there every morning. Not just to see Kiera. 

“Woah, boss,” Poppernack walked into Beau’s office, an astonished look in his eyes. He had never seen his desk so messy before. Beau usually liked to keep it clean, no matter if he ate on it.

Beau coughed, wiping his face with a napkin as he gathered the crumbs in his hand to throw them away at the trash can next to his desk. “Yeah, Pop?” He asked with his signature smile. 

“Uh, just wanted to let you know there's a new case that might need your attention.” Mo explained, a case file in his hands. 

Beau tilted his head. “Might?” He held his hand out to take the file and flipped through it. Mo watched nervously. After everything that happened with Emily, Beau wanted to take a step back from going out in the field. At least, he didn't want to do it often. But there was an occasional case that called for the head Sheriff. “God, Poppernack, maybe bring this to my attention earlier?” He sighed. 

It wasn't anything too crazy. Just a double homicide but the trail had gone cold after a few weeks. Beau wanted to let his deputies do the work, trusting them enough to do so, however, they weren't perfect. They made mistakes, looked at the wrong places, saw the wrong things, and made bad calls.

“Hey, Em,” Beau hummed as he closed the door to his truck and walked up onto his porch. He didn't solve the case from earlier but they did get a lead. He adjusted his phone a little as he opened up his Airstream. “How's your day?”

“Fine, midterms are coming up and that sucks but mom got me a slice of cake to cheer me up since I started studying.” He could imagine Emily shrugging. Beau had a fond smile on his face as he listened. “What about yours? Catch any bad guys?”

Beau let out a chuckle as he heated some leftovers and leaned against the counters to his small kitchen. “No, no, not today. But, I–uh–saw this girl.” He admitted softly. It was hard to be open with Emily, especially with everything that happened in Houston, but he wanted to try. And he knew Emily thought he was lonely. 

Truthfully, he was. Jenny, Cassie, and Denise were nice friends but it wasn't exactly what he was looking for. Beau longed for someone like Carla again. Someone to share his life with. 

“Oh? Like a crush?” Emily's voice teased. 

“Yeah,” Beau made his way back outside to sit on his porch with a bowl in his hand. “She’s really pretty but, I dunno, she seemed skeptical of me. I know I'm a big guy but I didn't think I gave off mean guy vibes.” He took a bite from his bowl as it balanced on his thigh. Talking with Emily like this was the highlight of his day. 

Emily let out a snort. “You don't. But you're a cop. Not everyone likes cops.” She reminded softly. 

Beau pursed his lips. She was right. He wasn't sure why he didn't think of it earlier. Beau could be an oblivious man sometimes. He was a cop. Sheriff of the county at that. And he never went anywhere without his badge attached to his belt. Unless it was a weekend and he specifically took time off. 

“Out of curiosity, what ethnicity is she?” 

Beau sucked at his teeth. “Native American.” Kiera’s features clued him in on that fact. 

“Well, there you go. Even more of a reason she doesn't trust cops,” Emily laughed softly. She had a point. “Don't worry, though, if you keep pushing—which I know you will—she’ll see you're not bad. Just take it slow.”

Beau smiled softly as he looked down at his bowl, it was nearly empty. “Why are you giving me dating advice? Shouldn't it be the other way around?” 

“I wanna see you happy, Dad,” Emily admitted softly. “And I wanna help you get there. I know…” She went silent for a second. “Avery was mom’s second chance. And it didn't end well but she was happy. For the first time in a while. I want you to have your second chance.” She sighed. 

Beau closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He rubbed his forehead and listened to Emily's breath on his phone’s speaker. “I love you.” He murmured.

“I love you too, dad.” Emily immediately returned. “I have to get to sleep or else mom will yell at me about not having a proper sleep schedule. Talk tomorrow?” 

Beau nodded even though she couldn't see him. “‘Course, kiddo. G’night.”

“Night.” 

As the line died, Beau’s phone fell to his lap. He bit the inside of his cheek as he stared up at the starry night sky. The forest around him made a few noises, like the rustling of trees or hops of insects, otherwise, it was silent. 

And Beau was alone.

His eyes shifted down to his lap. There was something about Kiera. Even Emily knew it and she hadn't seen her before. She was Beau's second chance. The only woman Beau had shown an interest in for a while. The only problem was he'd have to try. Kiera wouldn't just fall into his lap because he said hello to her every morning. He'd have to put in the work. 

He didn't expect anything less. 

From what Beau heard from Denise, Kiera had a complicated life. A single mother, young, and moved all the way out to Montana which must've been a shocking change from living in New York for most of her life. Unusual. For the short amount of time Beau had lived in Helena, he gathered that most people just liked to blend in and not draw too much attention to themselves. Unfortunately, Kiera had—unknowingly or knowingly—drawn a target on her back because she didn't fit in. Her all-black attire and tall height were enough for anyone to have to do a double take at her but then there was her Native ancestry. 

Montana was no stranger to Native people since there were plenty of reservations around but it was the icing on the cake for Kiera. No wonder she was hesitant around him. Beau hoped he could change that. He was a good person who tried his best to keep his deputies in line, even if it cost him his job in the end. So far, it hasn't. 

Taking a breath, Beau retreated into his airstream for the night and set his bowl in the sink. 

Tomorrow was another day. Another day to try to become friends with Kiera. At the very least, he could try that before anything else. Beau knew he was easy to be friends with even if the person was a little cold towards him at first. A few citizens were like that when they first met. Others stood their ground but that was because they were on the receiving end of handcuffs. Beau couldn't care less if those people hated him. 

However, Kiera was a lawyer. What kind, Beau didn't know. She had to believe in the law to some capacity if that's what she was doing. Maybe he could appeal to that somehow… Or just be himself. 

Yeah, Emily always said he was better off as himself and not playing the hero all the time. She liked Beau as a hero, he was her hero, but he needed saving every now and then too.

------

taglist: @deans-spinster-witch

taglist open here !!!!

[rachelbethhines]

60 Years of Doctor Who Anniversary Marathon - C. Baker 1st Review

The Two Doctors - TV Story

I was so disappointed when this was the story that the randomizer chose.

Unlike most fans, I genuinely enjoy Colin Baker's time as the Doctor on tv. I would have gladly watched any other story, yes even The Twin Dilemma or The Mysterious Planet. Heck, I personally think Timelash is loads of fun.

But this....

Not only is The Two Doctors my least favorite C. Baker episode, it is perhaps my most disliked episode of the classic era. And quite possibly in the bottom ten stories out of the show's history.

However, fair is fair. This is what the randomizer picked and I haven't given the story an honest shot since my first viewing of it.

So is it as bad as I remember?

Yes.

It really is that bad.

Granted there are moments in the story that are entertaining, but these are few and far between and don't do enough to save the serial.

The first and foremost problem is that the story suddenly turns the Doctor into a racist!

These are Androgums. They're an enslaved race, born into servitude because they are deemed to be "less intelligent" then more "civilized" races.

The main villain has been experimented on by a mad scientist, used as a sentient lab rat, and has gained genius intellect and knowledge through her forced upon mutations.

She uses her brains to manipulate people, framing the time lords for crimes they, lets be honest, would have committed themselves anyways, and kidnaps the doctor to force him to teach her time travel so that she may free her people and conquer those that had enslaved her.

You would have thought that the Doctor would be at least sympathetic to her motives, if not her methods, but no!

The Doctor constantly repeats through out the story that Androgums are inherently evil. That it's "in their nature" to destroy everything. That they can never become better people no matter what, and constantly dismisses their plight.

Worse, the story goes on to prove this outlook as correct when the Doctor is forced to become an Androgum himself through genetic experimentation and briefly becomes "evil."

Like why the fuck would you write that into your story!?

Did you not stop to think at all that this might not be the best way to write your hero, nor the most appropriate message to put forth in your narrative?

Then again, this is the written by the same man who wrote The Talons of Weng-Chiang because he unironically loved Fu Manchu movies.

I don't place Robert Homes on any kind of pedestal unlike the rest of fandom and bullshit like this story is why.

Oh but there's more offenses to find here.

See, Homes is not only racist, he's also that smug fake leftist that pretends he's better than you because he doesn't eat meat.

His preachy, holier than thou, anti-meat arguments have popped up a couple of times on the show, but here is where it's at it's most overbearing and obnoxious.

See, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to adopt a vegetarian/vegan diet... from religious beliefs, to health and safety concerns in commercial processing, to personal dietary needs... but Homes never makes this argument.

No Homes believes that people who eat meat are no better then murdering cannibals!

Man what I wouldn't pay to see Robert Holmes in a debate with the current writers of the Poison Ivy comics.

But to add injury to insult, Holmes then decides that the Doctor and Peri must become vegans like him at the end of the story.... You know the two characters who are not his creations and have no previously established reasons to adopt his personal belief systems.

Peri has since been retconed into having always been a vegetarian in the expanded universe, and that works okay as there's nothing in previous episodes to contradict it. It also nicely ties into her being revealed as a botanist in the next story.

But the Doctor not only has never held this practice before, the story makes a point to establish that he does enjoy eating meat and has him fishing for fun at the beginning.

So this is essentially the writer forcing his personal beliefs on to the main hero of a long established running series that he himself has only been a part of for a brief amount of time.

Trying to morph a character that isn't yours into just another version of yourself, ignoring anything that came before to do so, is bad writing. Plain and simple.

It's not only disrespectful to the character and their creator, it's also just flat out boring.

If you can't write anyone but yourself and can't present anyone else's view other than your own, then why the fuck are you even writing to begin with?

This a personal pet peeve of mine in professional media, writing characters that aren't yours out of character cause of ego, and I truly think it's a waste of everyone's time.

What else...

Oh the pacing is poor, the direction is flat, and I truly despise the scene where Oscar dies with the passion of a thousand suns!!!

It is the most tone deaf, poorly directed, poorly acted, poorly written scene in the entire story with perhaps the stupidest dialogue in the entirety of the classic era.

I hate it!

At least we can only go up from here.

[acti-veg]

so in a lot of fantasy settings the characters eat meat, ride horses, etc. do you know of any medieval/fantasy non fiction media that addresses animal exploitation somewhat? like not explicity vegan per se but ones where aninal rights is brought up in someway or another?

There are a few good examples in sci fi, which I’ve discussed here, but fantasy is less common. There are animal friendly fantasy books with generic messages about being nice to animals and the sanctity of nature is a common theme, but I can’t think of anything fantasy I’ve read which features what I’d describe as a pro animal rights message.

This isn’t fantasy but a novel I would thoroughly recommend is Drive Your Plough Over The Bones of The Dead, which is a strange sort of environmentalist/feminist/AR parable wrapped into a murder mystery. That one has stuck with me and may interest you.

Can anyone else think of any fantasy that meets this criteria?