#Van eck can go die in a hole actually

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I will die on the hill that this deserves a place amongst rankings of the saddest quotes in Crooked Kingdom:

“You don’t understand. It was me, I caused this”

- Wylan, chapter 14, when Jesper says he wants to feed Van Eck to the vultures for what he did to Marya.

[booknerdateen]

The Grishaverse Series

A mini dramaticness before we begin

Also note: there are spoilers so beware

It all started with Six of Crows. I read the book either last year or a few years ago. The news came when Shadow and Bone was being adapted into a show. So, I decided to go down the rabbit hole and read the trilogy before I watched the show so I can get a more depth of the world and all that. I finished the books with eight days to spare. A few days after I finished the season, I went to Barnes to get the other books. I already had Six Of Crows, but y’all can never have too many copies. Soon, I reentered the world of the Crows. Finally at last, I was able to read Crooked Kingdom (one of my best friends been dying for me to read CK). After the catastrophe of CK’s ending, I delved into King of Scars. I didn’t really know much about Nikolai’s duology besides it being about him, Zoya, and Nina. With the annoying ending of Scars, I started Rule of Wolves the next day. I started this journey from Alina and the Darkling to the Crows and their hiesting to seeing Nina’s happiness and Nikolai and Zoya dealing with their demons-figuratively and literally. So, here we are reaching and end of an era for me. I am glad I got to read an amazing series of this world.

The Grisha Trilogy

Aright yall!

I went into the trilogy not knowing much, besides the teaser trailer knowledge

I went in trying to not be biased about the Darkling cuz Ben Barnes

Did it affect me, yes yes it did

Although I don’t like Darkling

Some of y’all hate me for this but I ship Darklina

Yes yes, they toxic, but man you can’t convince me Darkling and Alina had that amazing chemistry in the first book

Not counting when Alina found out bout his true intentions and all that

I didn’t understand why we hated Mal until half way through Siege and Storm

I’m not Malina, but I can understand why we ship them

My amazing love of my life, Nikolai/Stormhund!

Him revealing himself as the prince, omg

Nikolai planting a kiss on Alina and her hitting him afterwards, love it

Tamar and Toyla are amazing!

I actually didn’t realize they were Shu until King Of Scars

Do I see why they betrayed Alina and used her for the Apparat (who needs to freakin die!), yes

Should they’ve, no but I see why though

Harshaw is me half the time

I love him teaming up with a random cat and called him Oncat pure wholesome

Alina going back to the Palace to start the Second Army and understandably putting a whole in the cafeteria ceiling, yes bruh

It’s not the cafeteria but I can’t remember what it’s called so hush

I thought she was gonna murder someone with that cut

Zoya declaring her alliance to Alina

Alina being sus about Zoya….I get that

Genya’s iconic “I am not ruined, I am ruination” I freakin love that!

Nikolai putting his father in his place and potentially exposing the king to r*pe

I freakin lived for that!

I did suspect that what happened between him and Genya, but it was more implied until R&R

Deaths=man, we lost some amazing peeps

Founding out Mal is the third amplifier, blew my mind

Mal dying=was not having that

Mal resurected=didn’t think it had worked, but it did

Darkling being stabbed and killed by his own knife by Alina…..wow

I didn’t like that

Sorry not sorry

I thought it felt a little rushed when that happened

I’m still confused on how he died

Overall: 9/10 I loved it

Six of Crows Duology

I don’t remember what happened in this book when I first read it

I longing to live to be part of the Crows

I love their friendship

Reminds me of my friends

“Compromise. I’m sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets”

I’ll probably do a post about my favorite lines of the books

Oh yes, so I read SoC after watching S&B

Reading Nina and Matthias’ parts with the shipwreck and all that and it being the same as their scenes in the show

I loved that

Well vice versa it should be….show being line for line like the book with them

“Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat”

I actually texted my mom that but reworded it as a way of asking her to get Taco Bell breakfast after her PT

It worked

Wesper, Kanej, Helnik=yesssss

My cinnamon roll Wylan

Jesper, Inej, and Wylan hijacking a fjierdan tank=high speed chase but with teenagers

The 180* that Van Eck and Kaz kept doing in the end, omg

Van Eck being a total evilness, man I wanted to smack him

Inej almost giving up on escaping

Kaz pushed Wylan against the wall about to kill him

Jesper’s father being afraid of Little Jesper being killed cuz Jes being grisha

Speaking of that, I did not see that coming

Kaz and Jesper getting into a fight and Wylan and Kuweii being the only ones concerned

Jesper Llewellyn Fahey

Jesper kissing Kuweii thinking he was Wylan

Wylan being broken-hearted

Them making up ahhhhh

The auction….that’s it that’s the only thing

Matthias being shot

Him going to Nina to say he loves her

Chapter 40= I tossed the book and dramatic screamed (not actually screaming)

Omg, Wylan finding out his mother aint dead but in a rehab place bruhhhhh

Kaz reuniting Inej with her parents

Kaz’s small steps of touching people again

Overall: 10/10 I’m biased about this duology

Nikolai Duology

Nikolai transforming into darkling creature at night is the equivalent of a werewolf turning at night (depending if we do every full moon and all that)

Nina burying Matthias’ body 😭

He found peace

Nina being the best necromancer grisha

Nina wanting to choke the ever living death out of Brun

Genya and David being married

Nadia and Tomar being married

David threating the monk

The monk 🤦🏾‍♀️

Wait no, the “Starless Saint” Cult 🤦🏾‍♀️

Nina mentioning about the Crows, mentally not verbally

Kuweii setting a tree on fire

The fold universe is very confusing

Sankta Eve…whats her name betraying them all to bring Darkling to life

Zoya being amazing as always

The Apparat really needs to die

I cannot stand that dude

The attenpted assination on Nikolai and Princess Shu (I forgot her name)

Isaak willingly to take Nikolai’s place while he in the fold

Isaak falling in love with Princess Shu

Or should i say “Princess Shu”

Isaak deserved better

Darkling ressurected 🙄

Nina and Hanne 💜

Freakin Brum I swear

Ramus deserved to die

Alina, Mal, Misha, and Oncat cameo

The Crows cameo!

Inej cameo in the end!

“Captain Ghafa”

Darking decided to give a redemption

Why….just why

Zoya turning into a dragon, that’s my zoya!

Nikolai turning into darkling creature to risk Ravka’s future

Brum being exile

Mwhahah

Hanne tailored as Ramus bruhhhh

I feel like Hanne is a trans coded character, I’ll go depth in another post

Freakin fjeirda in general

Fjeirda soldiers bowing down to “Sankta Zoya”

Nikolai stepping down the throne

Giving the throne to Zoya!

Queen Zoya

David’s death….I was not prepared for that 😭

Inej suspecting Alina to be actually Alina to Nikolai

Nikolai brushing her off as an old friend from the country

“I need Stormund to send a message to Kaz Brekker. I have a job for him”

Not word for word but ya know

Six of Crows 3??!?!?!! Ahhh

Overall: 8/10 loved it!

[ana-annotated]

128 THINGS I LOVED ABOUT CROOKED KINGDOM (WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!) Part 1

1. It has WYLAN’S POV

2. Jesper is one of his biggest reasons for committing to being a member of the Dregs and he knows it

3. Kaz breaks into the house of a wealthy and probably dangerous lawyer in the middle of the night but first things first, he’s gotta give the guard dogs belly rubs before robbing their owner.

4. Nina is still facing the consequences of ingesting parem and yet here she is undercover, charming this lawyer out of his whistle.

5. Wylan’s dark side just gets darker

6. Kaz having a rare soft moment and telling Wylan where his mother is buried cause he knows what it’s like to lose someone suddenly and not get to say goodbye

7. Matthias trying to understand Kaz’s sleight of hand and still failing to see how he does it

8. Matthias wishing Wylan or Kuwei would wear a hat so he could tell them apart

9. Wylan blushing at Jesper’s touch

10. Wylan Van Sunshine

11. Leave my grandmother out of this

12. Jesper’s dad is so innocent and precious and must be protected at all costs

13. Are you all students? Of a sort

14. Matthias has a little sister

15. Matthias comforting Alys cause she reminds him of his mother when she was pregnant

16. Nina whining over Matthias sacrificing her biscuits to keep Alys quiet

17. Matthias jealous of Jesper making Nina smile

18. Inej laughing in Van Eck’s face for thinking he outwitted Kaz

19. Nina expecting Matthias to rub her feet from now on whenever she wants him to

20. Matthias longing for a domestic life with Nina

21. Nina longing for the comfort of family relationships like the one Jesper has with his father

22. Jesper as a kid

23. Jesper’s mom was the sweetest most badass person ever and taught him everything he knows at such a young age

24. The WYLAN’S MOM CURVEBALL WHO THE HECK DOES THAT TO A PERSON MY POOR BABY HOW DARE JAN DO THAT TO HIM AND HER?!

25. Wylan’s motivation to get revenge

26. Kaz giving Wylan a pep talk about strength when facing a weakness

27. Matthias’s relationship with his wolf

28. Matthias pretending to be a happy go lucky Fjerdan

29. Nina having to explain every single dirty joke to him and convince him they’re not insults

30. Nina and Matthias’s first kiss being straight out of a Disney movie 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

31. Everyone points guns at each other in Ketterdam it’s basically a handshake

32. Matthias going into full military general mode and leads a two-man Grisha army in a victorious mini war against the Dime Lions

33. Kaz literally CRASHING Van Eck’s dinner party

34. Dunyasha: “I am Dunyasha, a white human blade, a ruthless assassin princess, and my sole purpose is destroying you. Prepare to feel my ninja stars.”

Inej: “New phone who dis?”

35. Colm Fahey adopting his teen gang member son’s five gang member friends

36. Nina finally getting her waffles

37. Only to realize Matthias Helvar is possible better than waffles (just barely, but still)

38. Matthias believing waffles is Nina’s one true love instead of him

39. What’s new? Nm, Nina can raise the dead to do her bidding, Inej plummeted 20 stories and nearly died at the ninja stars of some assassin chick with a huge ego, and there’s a huge gaping hole in Jan Van Eck’s dining room ceiling. Hbu? Who wants waffles?

40. They’re all crazy but Wylan realizes there’s nobody he’d rather have by his side cause the Dregs are HIS CREW

41. Kaz Ankle Breaker Brekker sliding past a pair of Van Eck’s guards and knocking them off their feet at once with his cane

42. The Crows trying to outdo each other with the highest rewards offered for their execution or capture.

43. Kaz winning that contest in a landslide

44. Nina flipping off their Wanted posters

45. Nina changing out of her Fjerdan costume with Matthias’s “help.”

46. Jesper and Kuwei’s haunting the Dime Lions

47. Little Inej stopping hearts and scaring her family to death on the high wire but wanting to keep going back on no matter what

48. Inej only falling when a net is underneath her

49. Wylan’s first impression of Jesper

50. Jesper’s flair for neon fashion

51. “Mother, father pay the rent! I can’t my dear the money’s spent!”

52. “On a dare I ate a literal trough full of waffles doused in apple syrup and almost went back for seconds.”

53. Kaz treating Jesper like a brother, even yelling at him and calling him Jordie because he’s so protective of Jesper and wants to keep him from making a mistake too big because of his gambling addiction. Seeing Jesper get carried away with his best worries him and he just wants him to be smart and not make the same costly mistakes Jordie did.

54. Kaz and Jesper arguing like brothers and then proceeding to fight like brothers while Inej, Nina, and Matthias sit around bored, waiting for them to snap out of it cause they’re definitely not going to kill each other with their bare hands, and there are bigger things to worry about.

55. Jesper’s dad breaking up the fight with a single threat

56. Jesper Llewelyn Fahey

57. I KISSED THE WRONG BOY

58. Inej and Jesper’s friendship

59. Matthias being very okay with PDA with Nina

60. Colm’s presence making the Dregs feel like kids worn out from a rowdy birthday party

61. Kuwei being a straight up savage and lying about his language barrier

62. KANEJ WOUND BANDAGING SCENE DESTROYED ME EVERYTHING ABOUT IT I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS NOR DID I EXPECT HIM TO EVEN GET HALF AS CLOSE TO HER AS HE DID

63. Kaz trying so so hard to push away all memories of his trauma to be in the moment and touch Inej and just show her how much she means to him

64. She followed him anyway

65. Kaz reclaiming his rightfully EARNED Dregs throne

66. Inej watching him kick out Haskell and kick traitor Dregs ass with pride

67. “I suggest a cane”

68. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Same thing that’s always wrong with him, he’s Kaz Brekker.”

66. Nina constantly trying to get Kaz to warm up a little, whether by joining a group hug or letting someone help bandage him up post-fight for his life

67. Colm willing to do anything to help the gang without question

68. Wylan’s cute anger at Jesper for mistaking Kuwei for him (let’s be real tho he was pretty mad at himself too for not being more upfront with his feelings since he had no Tailor to fix him)

69. Wylan getting mad at Nina for failing to mention she found a refugee Tailor that could change him back

70. Colm feeding into Nina’s waffle/food in general addiction

71. The politics in the story are so intricate and it just continues to be built upon in Crooked Kingdom. It’s detailed enough that honestly, Leigh could probably write a whole Grishaverse history textbook. It’s pretty interesting to read from everything we get from the Dregs discussing their home nations, their histories, traditions, and relations with other countries. Leigh put in so much effort to build not just an authentic country in Kerch, but an entire alternate world. Really fun to read about.

72. Wylan’s offense for Jesper not being able to tell him and Kuwei apart in that moment

73. Jesper stealing a portrait Wylan’s mother painted of him to help them reconnect once Wylan’s features are returned

74. “I told you, I like your stupid face.”

75. Jesper helping Genya tailor Wylan’s “stupid” face because he remembers it quite well

76. Jesper nearly losing it when he returns to find the boy he had fallen for at first sight has returned to his original appearance

77. JESPER KISSING THE RIGHT BOY

78. “I really hope we don’t die”

79. Colm giving an award worthy performance in front of Van Eck to rope him and the Council into falling for Kuwei’s fake indenture auction

80. Nina’s underlining threat to Van Eck for messing with Kaz, only a fool would try to scheme against Brekker

81. Colm telling Wylan that he’d be good for Jesper ☺️

82. Wylan taking an actual beating from other Dregs to make Jan Van Eck believe the Dime Lions were going to kill his son for him

83. Wylan’s on point acting making everybody in the chapel believe his father was a conniving scumbag all along

84. THE FACT THAT JESPER CAN ACTUALLY USE HIS POWERS TO AIM HIS BULLETS

85. Kaz lying like nobody’s business to the Merchant Council and everyone bidding on Kuwei to throw Van Eck under the bus

86. Kaz freaking BLOWING UP THE MENAGERIE IF THAT’S NOT A DECLARATION OF HIS LOVE TO INEJ IDK WHAT IS

87. Kaz and Inej hand holding

88. Nina pretending to be pregnant

89. Matthias believing Kaz could fake a birth

90. Genya teaming up with Kaz and Nina to fake Kuwei’s death

91. I haven’t even read the Shadow and Bone trilogy yet but I love King Nikolai and his alter ego and I can’t wait to read more of him in the series and in King of Scars!!!!!

[songzichens]

your least favorite character for the thing

send me a character and i’ll answer the following!

JAN VAN ECK JANE VAN EVIL*** HERE WE GO

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: keeps creating elaborate plans that fail horribly and ultimately lead to his public humiliation and arrest in front of everyone he knows :)worst quality: emotional abuser, tried to kill his own son, had his wife committed, manipulated and tried to kill a bunch of teenagers, planned to use one of them for his own political and economic gain, kidnapped another and kept her old locked up and threatened to break her legs just to use her as leverage, had his son horribly beaten, made wylan feel like a failure for years because of one thing he couldn’t do, i fucking hate jan van eck,ship them with: a slow and painful deathbrotp them with: the worst cell in hellgateneeds to stay away from: WYLAN, INEJ, kaz, matthias, nina, jesper, kuwei, MARYA, alys, every decent person he’s ever come into contact with,misc. thoughts: i hate jan van eck SO MUCH there will never be a better scene than when he gets systematically exposed as the slimy lying manipulative cruel human turd that he is and i hope he rots in prison for the rest of his miserable pathetic life, he is the actual Worst person and every time i think about how wylan had to live with him for years and hear about how he was a failure, how he’d never be good enough, how he was stupid and should be sent away where everyone can forget van eck had a son in the first place i want to PUNCH SOMETHING he had such a gift of a son and put him through that for years, he had his wife COMMITTED just so he could divorce her and remarry, not only that but so he could remarry a girl not much older than his son who’s clearly never had to think for herself in her whole life and would go along with anything he wanted, he sent a bunch of TEENAGERS into the world’s deadliest prison to retrieve yul-bayur despite knowing they would most likely ALL DIE and when they came back and said “yeah we don’t have yul-bayur but here’s his 15 yr old son” van eck was just like “oh great another scared young person i can use for my own gain hand him over” AND THEN ALL THAT SHIT HE SAID ABOUT WYLAN AND AS IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH HE THEN HAD INEJ KIDNAPPED AND KEPT HER HIDDEN AND THREATENED HER AND MADE HER THINK NOBODY WAS COMING AND SHE WAS COMPLETELY ALONE fucking hell do i hate jan van eck.  so much.  so goddamn much

[songzichens]

KUWEI YUL-BO

send me a character and i’ll answer the following!

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff  i don’t know???  i could make arguments for any and all of these tbh he’s fuckin hard to classifybest quality: listen talking about kuwei is Hard because he deliberately presents this version of himself that isn’t quite him but uh.  anyone remember that time he said “give me to van eck” so the rest of them could go free even though he had no real reason to be loyal to any of them if they couldn’t protect him but he was willing to hand himself over anyway?  that.worst quality: again, talking about actual qualities is hard, see above, but when he let jesper think he was wylan and kissed him?  why the fuck would you do that.  don’t do that.  i mean i’ve said before he was almost definitely in a “i’m gonna die very soon what the hell” mindset and he’s 15 so like, it doesn’t define him as a Bad Person for the rest of his life but still.ship them with: HAPPINESS PEACE AND FREEDOM, wylan, gonna throw jesper/wylan/kuwei out here againbrotp them with: nina, but also wylan if not the aboveneeds to stay away from: the shu government, fjerda, actually every nation that wanted to use a 15 yr old boy for their own political gain, jan van eck, misc. thoughts: listen i love kuwei so much.  he lived in shu han for years and says “we live a frightened life ... it was never home” which tells you all you need to know about that, he saw his father DIE, was imprisoned in the place where they literally torture and kill grisha while being forced to recreate parem while ALSO BEING AN INFERNI can you imagine how fucking terrified he must have been that whole time, like HE EXPECTED TO DIE ANY DAY HE WASN’T EVEN GONNA STOP NINA FROM DOING IT HE WOULD HAVE LET HER KILL HIM.  even after ck he’s left trying to fix this problem he didn’t cause and didn’t ask for but probably still feels massively responsible for because his father created parem to help him and he’s the only living person with firsthand knowledge of parem and the freedom to use that to help make an antidote (presumably some lab assistant in shu han knows but can’t do anything about it) even though science isn’t even smth he’s good at (which kuwei acknowledges so i don’t think it was just wylan saying that), the parallels with wylan like god i’ve made a whole post about this and i still keep thinking of more and forgetting to add them, this is now a stream of consciousness but did he even get to mourn his father properly?  did he have friends in shu han?  i feel like the answer is definitely no tbh.  is he safe?  eating well?  with people who care about him?  this is so incoherent lmao but i would fight someone for kuwei, i love him, he deserved so much better than everything that happened to him and i hope he’s safe and happy in ravka