#VILLAINS WE ARE SO LUCKY BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS OUR ROCKSTAR

[jooyeonnie]

cr. Caribe

[softboywriting]

Blonde | Shawn Mendes

Summary: You’re Shawn’s go to person, his confidant, his best friend who he is absolutely in love with but won’t commit to because of his hectic life. When things get too stressful and he feels like he’s completely lost control to his management and label, he comes to you with a bad idea and a tired heart. It’s finally time for things become more between the two of you. [established friendship/relationship] [non-au]

Word Count: 3.1k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Shawn shows up at your apartment at midnight two days before his birthday with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a box of platinum blonde hair color. He was the last person you expected to see when you looked through your peephole, but somehow you weren't too surprised. Shawn always comes to you when he needs someone, when he is sick of being famous and being told what to do and who to be. He comes to you for comfort, for love and affection. The two of you are good friends, very familiar with each other, you've hooked up a few times, it's a special relationship. It's like a no strings attached relationship because Shawn is afraid he can't commit while he's on tour and living his life as a rockstar. It's fine, you don't mind waiting for him because he is absolutely worth it. 

The moment you open the door he barrels in, bag in hand, and sets it on your kitchen island. "Fuck me up," he says, eyes tired. He's got dark circles, like he hasn't slept. He must have just gotten home from tour.

"Excuse me?" You laughs, folding your arms over your chest. "Are you alright?" 

"No. I'm tired of being told what I should do, what I should want. I'm sick of everything being planned. I just want to do something crazy, and I want to do it with you." 

You pull open the plastic bag and see the bottle of whiskey and the hair color. "Oh no, oh my God no." 

"Yes." Shawn runs his hands through his hair. "I want to piss Andrew off. If I go blonde he will be livid. I don't know what else to do that isn't too drastic, I need his attention and now. Things have to change."

"Damn. You've really had it." You turn the box of color over in your hands. It's permanent. "If I do this, I'm going to get chewed out by Andrew too. You know he doesn't like me very much anyway, after I refused to sign his NDA and stole you away from your birthday party last year."

"He won't know. I'll say I did it."

You raise your eyebrows. "Uh huh. Somehow I don't think he will believe you. But I'm not going to tell you no if it's what you want to do." 

Shawn goes to a cabinet and opens it to grab two tumblers. "It's either blonde or I buzz my hair off."

"Blonde it is." You step up behind him while he fills the glasses with ice. You run your hand up the back of his hair and he drops his head to the front of the fridge. He is always putty in your hands. "What about just the tips?" 

"No." 

"Highlights?" 

Shawn turns his head to look at you and you smile pleadingly. "I wanna go full blonde. If I have to I'll dye it back later but I want to give him an ulcer he's so stressed out, give him a taste of his on medicine." 

You back away, fingers sliding from his hair as you go. "What's the whiskey for? Courage?" 

"Fun." He smirks, clinking together the ice filled glasses on the counter before opening the amber bottle. "I haven't had a drink in three months. On tour I can't drink, not more than two beers maybe. It makes me feel like shit and my voice sound like hell." He pours the whiskey slowly. "So I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. Piss off Andrew, and loosen up a bit."

"I'm always down for both." 

"I know, that's why I came to you."

_____________________

Twenty minutes later and you've got Shawn sat on a dining chair, head full of blonde dye, your hands coated in the mushy foamy substance. It's probably the worst idea he has ever had but the way he smiled when you squeezed the first bit of mixture on his head sold you completely. He is going to look ridiculous, it's going to be awful and you know it. He knows it, but if it helps him get what he wants then so be it.

"Okay, I'll put a shower cap on you and we'll let it set for thirty minutes since you've got dark hair." You peel off the protective gloves the kit came with and toss them in the trash. "I can't believe I actually did this to your hair."

"Nah, come on it's fun." Shawn lifts his phone up to see his soaked hair. "It'll be great."

"Right, sure." You fit a spare shower cap over his head that you use from time to time for oil treatments on your hair. "Thirty minutes. I'll set the stove timer so we don't miss hearing it on our phones."

"Why wouldn't we hear our phones?" 

"Because." You pass him his drink. "You and I drinking together can get loud and or very involved." 

"I didn't come for that." He stands up and moves aside the dining chair. "I mean if it happens then that's fine but I don't want you to think I brought the whiskey for that." 

"I didn't think that. I just know it's a possibility." 

"So what do you want to do for thirty minutes?" 

You grab your glass and head for the living room. "Well, I'm sure there's a movie we could start watching. Or we can just talk for awhile. I could give you a massage?" 

"You'd do that?" He tosses back the rest of his drink and pours a bit more on the remaining ice. "I love massages." 

"I know. Come on, lay on the couch and I'll see what I can do." 

Shawn nods and puts his drink on the coffee table before laying face down on your sofa. You crawl onto his back, sitting on his butt and he groans.

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, just wasn't expecting that." 

"What? Me sitting on you?" You grip his waist and he visibly melts. 

Shawn mumbles something but you don't make it out as you go to work kneading his back gently. 

_____________________

Half an hour goes by quickly and Shawn falls asleep. You wonder why he has let his stress build up like this. Why not say something sooner? You crawl off of him and shake his shoulder. 

"Time to wash your hair out," you pat the shower cap and he sits up, a drool mark on the couch and his chin. "Come on big guy. Up and attem." 

Shawn rubs his face and stands up. "I didn't realize I'd passed out. It's already time to shower?” 

"Yep." You pull him up and he heads for the bathroom.

He pauses, looking back at you. "You're the only one who can put me to sleep like that."

You smile and he leans his head on the doorframe. "I'm glad I could help." 

"You always do." 

______________________

"This is awful." 

You look up from your phone where you've been scrolling through pictures of you and Shawn. It's nice to reminisce, to look back on the memories you've made the last few years. You can't wait to add a photo of his blonde hair to your collection. It's gonna be a good one. 

"Is it bad?" You call out, heading for the bathroom door. "Can I come in?" 

Shawn pulls the door open and he's standing there in his jeans, no shirt and his hair is light blonde. It's still soaking wet but it is undeniably blonde. When it dries it's going to be ridiculous. "It's something."

"Yeah, it's different." You stifle a laugh and run your hand through the back. "Looks like I got it all covered though."

"I love it." He grins, grabbing your hair dryer and plugging it in. "It's awful and perfect. Andrew is going to shit his pants."

You take the hair dryer and push him down on the toilet. "Let me do it." You grab the diffuser attachment from a drawer and put it on the end of the dryer. "I want to preserve your curls even if they are blonde."

"You always did love my curls." He smiles, and you tilt his head down. "Do you like the blonde?" 

"Like I said, it's different." 

He wraps his arms around your waist. "Thank you, for doing this for me."

"You know I'm up for anything, well, almost anything." You flip the hair dryer on and the noise fills the small room. "You're lucky I love you so much." 

_____________________

Morning comes and Shawn is curled around you in your bed. At first you're confused. The sun pouring in the thin white curtains casts a glow across your bedding and you see the tousle of blonde hair on the pillow beside you. You're unsure of who is in your bed, panicking for just a split second before you remember that it's actually just Shawn. 

"Good morning," you mutter, hand going through his hair. In the daylight it's so much worse. Blonde is not his color. 

Shawn lifts his head and rubs his eyes. "What time is it?" 

"Just after seven." 

"I have time then." He smiles and looks at you with sleepy soft eyes. "I don't have to be at the studio until nine. Do you want to get breakfast?" 

"Just us?"

"Mmhmm. The diner on fifteenth street has a good breakfast."

You sit up and he follows. "We've never gone out alone, just the two of us. Is it a good idea?" 

Shawn shrugs into a stretch. "I'm full of bad ideas right now. What's another one?"

You laugh softly. "Alright, get your jeans on and we'll get breakfast. But you're paying, since I did your hair for you."

"Deal."

______________________

Sitting in the diner with Shawn, you can't help but stare at his hair. You're obsessed and you can't decide if you truly hate it or not. It's just so different and the contrast between his eyebrows and the blonde hair reminds you of a Pokemon villain. No you don't like it. 

"What're you staring at?" 

"You." You chuckles and stir your straw around in your chocolate shake. Shawn insisted you get it since you said you've never been here and not gotten one. Never mind that it's just after seven thirty in the morning. 

Shawn runs a hand over his curls. "I'm gonna be honest, I avoided the mirror this morning. It's bad huh?" 

"It's not bad but it doesn't suit you. I've always loved your hair, at least you didn't buzz it."

"God no, I'd probably die if I did. I was only joking when I said I considered that."

"Good." You smile softly. "I'd have nothing to run my hands through if you did."

Shawn grins and takes your shake, drinking from your straw, not bothering to open a new one. "You're the only one I like to touch my hair y'know."

"Mmhmm. I'm also the only one who you like to rub your face when you have a headache, and scratch your back when it's itchy. There's a lot of things you only like when I do them."

"Yeah..." He smiles, into the shake and lifts the straw out to lick it. "Do you want to go out with me?" 

"We are out?" 

"No, I mean like out, out. A date."

You pull the shake away from him and he keeps the straw, sucking the chocolate shake off of it like a kid. "I thought you weren't going to date until you were at a slower point in your career."

"Yeah, but that's never going to happen and I'll be old and alone. You know what my life is like, you know how hectic it can be but you put up with it, with me." 

You lean your head on your hand and smile. Before you can say anything, Shawn's phone buzzes on the table. He grabs it and you give him a worried look. Breakfast will probably be cut short. 

"Studio?" You ask. 

Shawn shakes his head as he swipes to hang up on the call. "Nothing important."

"Oh." You push aside your now empty shake glass and sit back on the old red leather booth seat. "Well, I was going to say-"

His phone buzzes again, another call. 

"Just answer it."

"No." Shawn swipes and then does something else, presumably making it silent. "I'm on my time right now and I'm spending it with you."

"It's Andrew isn't it?" 

"Yep." Shawn smirks and pockets the phone. "So, my question?" 

You lean forward and fluff his hair. "Well I was going to say, this blonde hair has made you pretty bold or you're still drunk if you're asking me out." 

"No, I'm just tired of not being myself. I wanna live for me, do what I want, make myself happy. I want to start with you, because you make me so happy."

"You know I've been waiting for you to say the word, but I know you didn't want to date because of your work." You laugh and he threads his fingers between yours on the table, eyes on yours and they're so full of love. "Let's do this."

"Yeah I-" Shawn pulls his phone out and rolls his eyes. "Fuck, Andrew is freaking out. I guess I should answer in case it's an emergency."

"I don't mind, go ahead." You play with his fingers mindlessly, twisting his ring around on his middle finger, one you gave him a few years ago for Christmas. 

He swipes to answer and then looks around the diner. "What do you mean? Are you here?" 

You sit up straight and look around for Andrew. There are very few people in the diner and you definitely don't see his manager anywhere. 

"Yeah, I'm having breakfast. How'd you know where I was?" Shawn looks annoyed. "I'm allowed to have a life. I'm not supposed to be at the studio until nine." 

"Did he track you?" You whisper and he nods. Stupid GPS, it's ridiculous. 

"No I didn't get that message. Well, sorry. I guess my signal was shit last night. I guess we can meet you at the studio." He looks around once more and points to the front doors, behind you. You turn and look to see Andrew standing outside the diner. "Yeah, I'm with a friend and I'm going to bring her with me. Don't worry about who. No I'm not making her sign an NDA. Andrew it's fine." 

You roll your eyes. Andrew and his non disclosure happy ass. The dude didn't trust anyone alone with Shawn who wasn't his team, which have all signed NDAs too. It's annoying. 

"Yeah, we'll meet you outside. Yeah. I see you. Bye." Shawn pockets his phone and stands up, offering you his hand. "Come on, I'll make it up to you later." 

"But we haven't paid." You stand up and Shawn pulls a twenty from his wallet real quick and places it under the milkshake glass. It's more than enough. "Alright then, lead the way, or should I?" 

"You should. He's going to freak out when he sees my hair." 

You grab Shawn's hand and he turns around, facing the front doors of the diner as you head for them. As you approach you can see the color drain from Andrews face as he looks in the window. A wicked smile spreads across your face, ear to ear. It's just the reaction you both wanted. 

The door jingles as it opens and then closes behind you and Shawn. Andrew looks livid. He doesn't even say anything as he tugs a piece of Shawn's hair gently to check if it's a wig. 

"I decided to go for a new look." Shawn says through a shit eating grin. "I think platinum is in right now."

"Definitely." You agree, fixing a stray curl. 

Andrew runs his hand over his head and lets out the angriest sigh you have ever heard. "What do you want? What do you want Shawn? Why? Why?!"

Shawn puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you against his chest. "I want to enjoy my life and have a little more control over what I say and do. I get it I'm restricted in some aspects by the label but I'm sick of being puppeted around." 

"Jesus... fuck- is this...like repressed teenage rebellion?" Andrew dials a number on his phone and holds it up to his ear as it rings. "I guess we can work something out I- yes Sheila?"

Shawn reaches out and takes Andrews phone from his hand. "No, this is what I'm talking about. You're fucking calling a hair stylist to fix my hair. You're literally making a decision for me, right now. Stop."

"Shawn, you're acting like a child." Andrew says, reaching for his phone. "We can discuss this later. In front of a diner is not the best place."

"I didn't want to have to do this, but I won't renew next month when my contract is up." His grip tightens on you and your heart races. 

"What!?" You interject, looking up at Shawn. He can't be serious. He would leave his management team and label over this. Things must be a lot worse than he has let on. 

Andrew's face pales for the second time. "You wouldn't." 

Shawn passes Andrew his phone. "I'm dead serious. I'm not asking for anything unreasonable. I just want to have more say in what I'm doing and where, and who with." 

"Fine. I'll talk to-" 

"No, you'll do this. Don't act like you have to talk to your boss. I know that it's your call to relinquish creative control and executive decision." Shawn leans his head on yours. "And the first thing I'm going to do is date someone, publicly."

Andrew closes his eyes and pockets his phone. "Alright. I'll make some calls, and I'll give you the option to do things or not, and..." He looks at you and you smile, knowing he isn't the biggest fan of you since you're the one who Shawn usually goes to and you're the one who encourages him to ask for more. "I suppose you can date publicly. I guess it's time."

"Thank you." Shawn says softly. 

"I'll meet you at the studio." Andrew says, turning and heading for his car nearby. "Try not to be seen?" 

"No promises," you laugh with a little wave goodbye. 

Shawn looks around at the very open public downtown street. "I'll do my best?" 

"Your gonna give me an ulcer." Andrew groans and gets in his car. 

You turn in Shawn's hold and lay your hand on his cheek. "Alright, you got your reaction. How fast can we dye your hair back?"

"Tonight, please?" 

"We'll stop by the store and get some dye on the way to the studio." 

"Sounds good to me." Shawn grabs your hand. "Do you want to go out afterwards? On an actual date?" 

You thread your fingers between his. "Yes, I'd love to."

He leans down and kisses your temple. "You're the best. Thank you for helping me with my bad ideas." 

You smile and laugh. "You're welcome, let's go." 

"Yeah, let's go, together." 

End

---------------------------------

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[votederpycausemufins]

Red: ch. 13 Earrings

this is cross posted on Ao3 (my username is causemufins)

A certain rockstar shows up to help his niece and stop Lila's lies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chloé couldn’t help herself from fidgeting in her seat. It had taken a bit of prodding from her and Alya to get Marinette to come back to school after what had happened yesterday. The class was still treating the designer like scum, but Chloé was no longer upset at the new girl as the message she sent to Marinette was apparently supposed to cheer her up, it just managed to have the opposite effect.

    Chloé felt her phone buzz and couldn’t help but smile. That should be the message saying they were almost here. And by them, it meant Penny and Jagged Stone. Yesterday after school, she had met back up with Marinette to get her phone. She told Marinette she was just going to ask the rockstar just to publicly denounce Lila, but that isn’t what happened.

    “Hey! What’s my favorite honorary niece calling for?”

    “Is that supposed to mean you have more than one?”

    “Nah, Marinette’s the only one who deserves that title. Speaking of that rock and rock girl, who’re you and why d’ya have her phone?”

    “My name is Chloé Bourgeois. You may recognize my name as my father is the mayor of Paris, owns the hotel you tend to live in while in Paris and I am also friends with Marinette. She asked me to call you because she feels a bit nervous asking you for a favor.”

    “I’m happy to help my lucky rocker with anything she needs. She’s helped me tons with all her designs for me.”

    “Well, we have someone in our class at school that claims to know you and even though Marinette actually knows you, they’re only believing this other girl’s stories about you and won’t listen when Marinette says she’s lying. We’re hoping you could like publicly state you don’t know this girl or something.”

    “What?! Look, I may be famous, but using my fame like that ain’t very rock and roll. What’s she been saying?”

    “Mainly that before you had Fang, you had a hamster… sorry Marinette reminded me it’s a cat. Anyway, you apparently had a cat, and it ran out onto a plane runway so this girl went out to the runway and saved the cat.”

    “What?! Anyone who’s a fan knows I’ve had Fang since he hatched which was ages ago! And I doubt anyone random could get onto a runway. Plus I would think it’s hard to hit anything on a runway. Aren’t there like only three wheels on planes? And those things are huge! Anything would run off before it could get too close.”

    “Exactly! Even you can see how idiotic it is without putting much thought into it! But of course everyone else, even the smartest kid in the class just give their blind trust while this girl villainizes Marinette.”

    “Excuse me, they’re whAT?!”

    “First of all, ow my ears… second, basically only a few of us know about this girl’s lies. There’s me, but I used to be a bully before Marinette helped me improve so everyone will think I’m bullying this girl if I try to stop her lies. Marinette of course knows but this girl has threatened her and bullied her to the point Marinette is barely holding on. There’s a boy that knows about this girl’s lies but does absolutely nothing because it’s ‘not hurting anyone’”

    “Lies and rumors are similar. They can ruin an image and hurt people emotionally and damage relationships. Lies are far from rock and roll.”

    “Yeah, the three other people who know are a girl who just moved here, one friend I’ve had for ages, and Marinette’s old best friend, who only recently found out, and before then just acted like Marinette was jealous of this other girl. It didn’t help that this so called friend is a reporter and when Marinette started talking about the bully’s lies, the friend asked for proof without getting her own proof for the bully!”

    “Man, no wonder my rock and roll niece needs my help. I’ll be at the school tomorrow!”

    “Wait you’ll what?”

    “Better if I set the record straight in person. Plus it gives me an excuse to visit Marinette. Hey Penny! Put in the schedule we need to visit Marinette tomorrow! No the school not the house! I’m gonna make sure people know she’s my rocking niece!”

    “I… I guess we’re going to see you then, huh.”

    “Yeah! See ya! Rock and Roll!!!”

    “... So… Jagged is coming to the school tomorrow to out Lila.”

    “HE’S WHAT?!”

    Chloé looked over to the notes Sabrina was taking. The redhead was understanding of Chloé being distracted once she explained what was going to happen. Looking at the scattered notes, it seemed Sabrina was equally distracted.

    Then there was a knock on the door of the classroom. The whole class, except for Marinette, looked at the door. Chloé guessed the ravenette didn’t look because she was nervous or something. Mlle Bustier paused the lesson before walking over to the door and going outside to see who it was. The class kept staring as a quick muffled conversation occurred before their teacher stepped back into the room. “Marinette, it seems your… uncle is here to see you.”

    Everyone looked at Marinette for a few moments before looking at the door again as the rockstar stepped inside, their jaws dropping.

    “Marinette! How’s my rockin’ niece doing?!”

    Marinette gave a small smile. “Um, I’m fine.”

    Jagged shook his head. “Nah, I heard the story. So, who’s the chick giving you trouble?” He looked around at the class.

    “I believe you’re talking about Lila Rossi.” Sabrina was the one to speak up. “She’s told us a few times that she knows you, so that’s the best guess I can make.”

    “Alright, who’s she?” Jagged asked, not even needing a verbal answer as the class all looked towards the liar. “You huh? And you apparently know me how?”

    “Oh, you probably forgot because it was a while ago. I saved your cat.”

    “I’ve never had a cat. I’ve only had Fang. In fact I hatched him from his egg myself. But I mean, with the band ‘Kitty Section’ maybe cats are pretty rock and roll. Hey, wait isn’t that the band you helped design for Marinette.” Marinette nodded. “I guess that's why they look so bloody rock and roll. Speaking of designing, I also wanted to ask if you could help with my next album cover. I mean, after that poster and glasses, I just can’t get enough of your style!”

    Marinette blushed slightly and everything was silent for a few moments before Rose spoke up. “Wait, so you really don’t know Lila?”

    “I mean, I didn’t even know her name until this girl up front said it. The most I knew is there was a girl in here bullying my niece which isn’t rock and roll at all.”

    “Marinette’s been the bully! She probably just lied about Lila and made you say all that.” Kim spoke up.

    Jagged shook his head. “Nah, I didn’t even find out about this from her. Someone else did and they just told me about this liar’s story and how she was messing with my niece with lies and threats.”

    Rose and Mylene both looked shocked and the former spoke up. “Lila, you haven’t been threatening Marinette, have you?”

    “Of course not. Chloé and Marinette have been hanging out a lot! She’s probably trying to hurt me. And Jagged stays at her hotel a lot. Plus, doesn’t she tend to force people to do what she wants because her dad is mayor?”

    “First, yes I did call him. Second, I’ve been hanging out with Marinette because she has lost all of you as friends because you all believed Lila over her. Third, Jagged isn’t a permanent resident so my father doesn’t have power over him. If anything he would just need to find a new hotel to stay at when he visits.”

    Suddenly, Alya stood up after Chloé had finished speaking. “She also didn’t just threaten Marinette. She threatened me as well. I learned from Ladybug herself that she and Lila aren’t friends so I was planning to post the correction post anyway, but Lila threatened that if I did post it, she would make Marinette’s life worse, and from how all of you were texting Marinette hateful messages yesterday, it seems like she made it happen.”

    “Really guys.” Chloé spoke up once more. “Wasn’t Marinette supposed to be the class’s everyday Ladybug? What the hell happened?”

    The whole class was silent for a good thirty seconds before all hell broke loose. Chloé and Jagged helped Marinette escape the classroom while Alya held the rest of the class back from following the designer. As they went out the door, Chloé caught a disapproving look from Adrien, but there wasn’t much he could do.

    Eventually, the three of them had gotten far enough away from the classroom to give Marinette a chance to calm down. As Jagged did his best to help Marinette, Chloé felt Marinette briefly take her hand, but when the designer pulled them away, Chloé could tell she had left something in her hand.

    With a quick glance, Chloé looked in the palm of her hand to see two earrings sitting there. Her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, there was a scream that came from the classroom. Ladybug was needed. And Marinette was in no condition to fill that roll.

[90s-belladonna]

☆List Of Prompts For Requests + Rules☆

~bnha characters & DC comics characters only for now~

•please specify reader type

•I’m open to doing multiple characters

•open to any canon / non canon ships(no pedophilia or incest please) , x reader ships, poly ships, headcanons, ect.

•please specify if you want smut, fluff, or angst (or a mix)

•I take anon requests as well

•you can request anything, even if it isn’t on this list

☆ BNHA Master List

1. “your hair is literally on fire!”

2. “In my defense you said this wasn’t a date!”

3. “It’s not like I mean to bite you, but just to be clear I’m not sorry.”

4. “____? I didn’t recognize you without your (costume/quirk) on. You jerk!! Why didn’t you tell me who you really were?”

5. “I’m not saying your teacher is hot... but that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

6. nsfw alphabet / fluff alphabet / Headcanons/ Oneshots (just specify)

7. “Having daddy issues isn’t a personality trait.”

8. “.... because I know your heart.”

9. “and maybe I feel like a failure, but that’s okay... because at least I feel something.”

10. “You know what they say... right person, wrong time.”

11. “You deserve the moon and all of the stars.”

12. “Stop smiling, it makes me want to punch you.”

13. “We can’t just get married... I- we haven’t even gone on a date!”

14. “They/he/she acts like a hard ass but they/she/he literally makes me rescue every stray animal we come across.”

15. “B-But ma’m, this is my emotional support idiot.”

16. “I’m not making a baby with you.”

17. “Please braid my hair for me.”

18. “How can you fall for them/him/her ? They/she/he was in love with a villain.” (Specify villain)

19. “A civilian. Really? You’ll be bored within a month.”

20. “Please tell me you’re not actually interested in a hero.”

21. “Is this ‘affection’?”

22. most to least likely to ____

23. “I didn’t take you for the type to want to date a rockstar.”

24. “Anyone would be lucky to have you, you’re amazing.” ‘Just wish it was me you were interested in’

25. “Please touch me.”

26. “You were supposed to be meaningless arm candy.”

27. “I feel it in the way you kiss me. This isn’t a game anymore is it?”

28. It’s nice to have someone return my feelings for a change.”

29. “Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe I don’t want to be kept a secret.”

30. “I swear everyone is in love with you, it’s irritating.”

31. “Why is there a dog in my room?”

32. “I’m too late.”

33. “When I said I wanted to get closer to you this isn’t what I meant.”

34. “I love you, I do, but I’d love you more if you shut up.”

35. “Honestly.... I think I’m in love with your sibling/sister/brother.”

36. “You’re stupid. I like that in a person/man/woman.”

37. “Well excuse me for not being able to think straight after finding out you somehow managed to set a toilet on fire.”

38. “Thanks. I hate it.”

39. “You love me? A terrible decision really.”

40. “You know... it wouldn’t kill you to at least pretend like you’re into me.”

41. “How’d you manage to forget your own birthday genius?”

42. “Thanks, it’s the trauma.”

43. “I drove all night until I started to cry.”

44. “I trusted you, you know how hard that is for me.”

45. “You confirmed everything I wanted you to disprove.”

46. “I didn’t know I could physically feel my heart shatter.”

47. “Your face triggers me.”

48. “You’re mean.... I like it.”

49. “Mind if I take your last name?”

50. “I don’t really hate you but I’m having a moment.”

51. “You’re so hot. I’m going to punch you in the face.”

52. “Are you saying you like me or not?”

53. “Kiss me. Pretend I’m them/her/him and I’ll pretend you’re them/her/him. We can pretend our unrequited loves care for us just for tonight.” (Specify the characters for the two crushes + one night stand character)

54. “Don’t you dare say it.”

55. “And they say romance is dead.”

56. “I just want to be held.”

57. “You never had me.”

58. “You know, the whole ‘holier than thou’ attitude gets tiresome after a while.”

59. “I like my men/women/people like I like my coffee... bitter, and baby, you’re as bitter as they get.”

60. “Maybe if you didn’t have such an annoyingly cute face I wouldn’t have stabbed myself on accident.”

61. “I want my eggs cracked! Meaning I want a child. I want my name dropped! Meaning I want to be married.”

62. “You lost her/him/them. They/ she/he is the moon, and I see that in them/her/him. Maybe if you weren’t so busy chasing dimly lit stars I’d envy you because you’d still have him/her/them. But you lost them/her/him, and I love them/her/him and there’s no way I’m letting them/ her/him go.”

63. “Wrong. You exist. You live, you breathe, you are, but I will end you.”

64. “I’m not great with feelings but I’ll try... for you, because I love you.”

65. “I may not be first choice, but at least I’m a choice.”

66. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

67. “I’m definitely smarter, that’s for sure.”

68. “When you kiss me I almost forget all that’s wrong in the world.”

69. “Why attack me to begin with? I’ve done nothing to you!”

70. “If I die... please don’t let them burry me in anything green, it clashes with my skin tone.”

71. “Long time no see asshole.”

72. “You save me everyday and you don’t even have to try.”

73. “Your presence is... intoxicating, in the best way possible that is.”

74. “It was supposed to be a one time thing.”

75. “I fell in love with you and I didn’t even realize it. Not until it was already too late.”

76. “I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine, and done things I prefer you didn’t.”

77. “For some reason my need to protect you out weighs my need to kill you.”

78. “I care for you more than anything in this world. That’s exactly why I need you gone.”

79. “I know this is wrong but when you’re laying on my chest I can’t help but think it feels just right. Like faith or some shit.”

80. “I may not realize my worth but I definitely know what I’m not worth, and this isn’t it. I deserve better and I realize that.”

81. “You try to make others feel loved and important because you don’t feel that way about yourself.”

82. “Why do you completely shut down anyone who tries to help you? Who hurt you? Who did that to you!”

83. “Let me give you the world because it’s what you deserve.”

84. “You’re afraid to heal, your entire identity is centered around the trauma you’ve endured, you have no idea who you are outside of that trauma but I’d like to help you find out.”

85. “You say you’re bad for me but so is sugar and I still eat that so...”

86. “You’re so pretty when you cry.”

87. “You’re everything anyone could ever ask for but I’m someone that no one is even looking for.”

88. “Because hurting you was easy, like a second nature really.

89. “And now I fall asleep every night wondering why I wasn’t good enough.”

90. “I’m _____. I’m the love of their/her/his life. Anyone else is just a waste of time.”

91. “I’m sorry that I gave up on us when you never did.”

92. “Make me forget.”

93. “I’m tired of pretending everything is okay. I’m dying inside.”

94. “And what exactly do you know about people/girls/boys like me?”

95. “Like it or not we’re fucking soulmates so get over it.”

96. “I know you love her/him/them but I love you, and I’m willing to wait for the day you’re not heartbroken anymore and willing to take a chance on me.”

97. “You can’t just kidnap someone! that’s illegal!”

98. “Can’t we just get a cat instead?”

99. “I wanted to see how much shit I could put you through before you gave up on me. It’s your fault for being there and caring too much.”

100. “I don’t think I’m supposed to fall in love with you. They/she/he will be so angry when they/he/she finds out.”

101. “But you... you showed me kindness in a world that’s done nothing but try to break me.”

102. “I love the way you look in my clothes.”

103. “Even you can’t stop what’s about to come.”

104. “Romeo and Juliet have got nothing on us.”

105. “I’m the earth and you’re the sun, the reason for my existence. I love you ___.”

[idornaseminary]

Chapter Ninety-Seven: Enzo and Mel

Enzo’s brain reeled after the conversation he had with Melanie outside the castle. He had not forgiven her in the slightest for what she had done, but he knew that it would be foolish and selfish to shut himself away from the problem at large, and he knew he at least had some leverage on her when it came to their little game of remorse. The others would still be mad at him, no doubt, and Mel was, too, but he also had a right to be mad at her. In fact, he would wager that her cons outweighed his, seeing as she was conscious when making her decisions. She would be the easiest to have a conversation with that wouldn’t end with him on his knees, having to beg for forgiveness.

The next day, after his classes that consisted of Potions and Charms ended, Enzo spent the rest of the evening in his room, meditating and trying to relieve his stress before midnight. While Andre was out on what he told Enzo was a date, Enzo opted to make another batch of Sleep Draught for Andre as well as himself. He hated relying on it, knowing that it had addictive properties, but he could not help it, especially as of late. He knew he would have to come clean to Andre about the fact that he had been slipping it into his tea before bed, and would most likely have to show him how to brew it before graduation; Andre never was the best with potions.

As midnight neared, Enzo bid his sleepy friend farewell, telling him that he had a late assignment to work on with a Gestona student for Charms; he knew Andre wouldn’t question it. He lit the tip of his wand with a Lumos and made his way towards the Den. He walked quickly, looking over his shoulder every second step to ensure that he was not being followed. Ever since the night in the forest, he was on edge. Still, no sign of Chantal was a good sign.

Perhaps this was over.

He arrived in front of the portrait at ten minutes to twelve and stepped inside, shrugging off his sweater and tossing it onto the floor in front of the fireplace as he took a seat on the chaise, looking out the red widow at the blackened Gladur. He was lucky that Chantal didn’t possess a brilliant mind of her own, and that whoever was pulling her strings remained in the dark. Of course, she made him tell her who he was working with, but she never inquired about where they met. The Den, at least to Enzo’s knowledge, was still untainted ground.     

As it neared midnight, Mel crept down the stairs and down the hall, pausing in front of the portrait. The last time she had been in this room, alone with Enzo, things had changed between them forever. She wasn’t sure she was ready for this.

Sighing deeply, she muttered the entrance word and hurried through the portrait hole before she could change her mind.

Enzo was seated on the chaise, the fire casting eerie shadows on his face. Despite everything, her heart twitched with sympathy. He looked tired.

She pulled an armchair up the fire and settled herself, wrapping her thick wool cardigan tighter around herself.

“Hey.”

Enzo heard the portrait swing open, but didn’t turn his head until he heard Melanie pulling up chair up to sit near him, wrapping her shirt tightly around her. He remember her talking often about how easily the cold affected her, although her skin was warm to the touch.

“Hi,” he replied dimly, the slight crackling of the fire louder than his voice. He didn’t know how to lead the conversation, but he supposed he had to say something. He invited her up here, after all. “Any sign of Chantal?”

Mel shook her head. “Nope. She’s probably gone into hiding, like proper super villains do when they’ve been heated.”

Enzo shook his head, ignoring her light attempt at humor. He huffed, placing his right foot on his left knee, leaning back in the chaise a bit. He remembered sitting exactly where she was not much longer than a week ago, his mind far from his body.

“And have you met with each other since? The others, I mean.”

“Yeah,” she said, then hesitated. She wondered for a moment if she should tell him their plans, then decided to go ahead. After all, the others had wanted him to be there. “We’re going to keep our eyes and ears open. Everyone agrees that we very well might be dealing with a professor.”

He raised his eyebrows slightly, gears beginning to tick in his head. “And where did you arrive at that assumption?”

She shrugged. “It just makes sense. Whoever is behind this has access to some unique, powerful magic. I just can’t see a student being smart or powerful enough to pull something like this off.”

A chill swept through her, and she pulled her sweater tighter. Thinking of danger lurking within the halls of Idorna caused her a great deal of turmoil, but it was almost a more attractive alternative to focusing on Enzo’s cold stare.

“I hope I’m wrong,” she added. “It would suck if this was a professor, because that would mean the odds are stacked against us. But that’s my hunch. What about you?”

Enzo looked in Melanie’s general direction, but his gaze was beyond her - beyond anything in this room. He tried so hard to remember fine details of his possession. He couldn’t think of any blank moments. After Chantal put the chain around his neck, he was blindfolded and brought to a secluded place. When the blindfold was taken off, he was in a small room with nothing more than a bed and toilet. Chantal would bring him food and go over their plan when it came to ‘weeding out the weak ones first’. Clearly she wasn’t as intelligent as she thought. Or maybe that was Enzo’s fault for assuming the worst of his company. Luckily, his faults worked in his favor.

“I have no idea,” he simply said. “But I was locked up in a small room. Dark, no wallpaper. It looked like a prison cell. I don’t even know if it’s in the castle.”  

“A prison cell?” Mel bit her lip, trying to make sense of his words. “There’s a dungeon on the lower floor of the castle, isn’t there? We could sneak down there and see if you remember it. Then we’d know for sure it was someone in the castle causing all this.”

That finally made his demeanor change, and he snorted, licking his lips. “We’re already pressed our luck with the Gladur. Do you really want to go somewhere else that could get us expelled… or killed?” he grumbled, although his curiosity was piqued. He had never considered that it was in the dungeons; Students were forbidden. Although, it did slightly prove Melanie’s theory that a professor could be pulling the strings.  

Mel shrugged. “I’m a rockstar, Enzo, you know that. There’s nothing more metal than getting kicked out of a top-tier magical seminary.” She let the smirk fall from her lips in favour of giving him a serious look. “Look, I won’t push it, but I think it’s our best lead right now. We might find some sort of clue.”

Metal? That’s a new one.

He had to force his face to remain still, a smirk slightly playing at his lips, but when her voice toned down, he nodded. “I think we need to keep our heads down for a bit. Clearly Chantal knows were still here, alive. I have no idea where she is, but if she is working with a professor, they will have as many eyes on us as possible. But… it isn’t the worst idea you have ever had.”

Her smile returned. “And I’ve had some pretty bad ones. But you’re right. We should give things some time to cool down.”

She paused, tapping her fingers nervously against her knee. “Um, so the rest of us are meeting up again once the week is up to exchange notes, so to speak. I know things might feel different now, but I know your absence was felt last time around. You’re more than welcome to come.”

He nodded, exhaling deeply as he looked at Melanie. He didn’t know if it was her care-free Canadian attitude, but she always had a relaxing aura about her. She was someone who was hard to stay angry at, and that alone made him angry.

“I’ll sleep on it.”

“That’s better than a no!” She made no effort to hide her grin. She stood, stretching her arms, and glanced at her watch. “I should be going. In the meantime, keep an eye out for any weird professor activity.”

He nodded, too many questions left loose on his lips, only half of them about the murders.

“I will.”

[tinymixtapes]

Music Review: Death From Above - Outrage! Is Now

Death From Above Outrage! Is Now [Last Gang; 2017] Rating: 1.5/5 Outrage! Is Now is a fucking boring album. Yes, it “Rocks”®. That’s something I can’t touch. It’s musically engineered from elements so well worn that it couldn’t possibly fail. Death From Above treat listeners to endless Guitar Center-tested minor pentatonic riffs set over athletic dance rock beats acutely designed to tease the difference between a dance floor and a mosh pit. The main riff that drives opener “Nomad” may well be lifted from classic rock revivalists Wolfmother and their 2006 breakout hit “Woman” (which itself is lifted from actual classic rock band Black Sabbath). Beyond this, listeners are treated to tired production gimmicks right off the bat: twice in the album’s first five minutes we get to hear a tinny high-pass filter give way to a more massive, blown-out full-band sound, a trick built of cinematic drama and self-aggrandizement that we continue to be treated to throughout the remainder of the album. I can’t tell you that these tricks don’t work well, because they do. But what I can tell you is that they don’t exactly constitute creativity, leading to music that feels regurgitative, calculated, and industry-tested. This wouldn’t be an issue were it not for the fact that the album positions itself as somehow relevant to its surroundings, somehow speaking to a climate of outrage, despite its seeming insincerity regarding the political and social contexts it finds itself in. The shallow cynicism and apathy that animates so many of its songs are under-interrogated by its writers, instead finding form as a pessimist’s non-committal, inconclusive pouting. Several of the album’s central lyrical hooks rely on cheap wordplay of the sort that suggests further meaning but adds little poetic value. Consider the refrain “Nomad, never home/ No matter where you go/ Push them like they push you/ No matter what you do,” which takes its central subject of a nomad from the meaningless pun between the word “nomad” and the phrase “no matter.” Beyond the absurdly insubstantial forced resonance between the two words, these lines lack insight altogether1. Worse yet is the wordplay from which the album’s faux-political front cover declaration stems. “Outrage! Is Now” begins with this tone-deaf incitation: “Outrage! Outrage! I’m Out Of Rage Maybe It’s My Age But I Can See A Clear Light So What. So What. Maybe I’m Wrong Suddenly, I Don’t Belong To Anyone, Or Anything” I’m surprised that lyrics this offensively mediocre can fly, even from a duo whose initial success was primarily pinned on one lucky album and a successful design campaign. The beautiful irony of these lyrics is that their concern with age bring the duo back into conversation with their indie revival rockstar peer James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem), who they once, in 2004, so eloquently “threatened” with death2. But while 2017’s aging Murphy looks inward to bring himself to show vulnerability and acknowledge that it may be best to sit out and watch the valuable conversation being had (“I’ve just got nothing left to say/ I’m in no place to get it right […]I’m just too old for it now/ At least that seems to be true”), Death From Above’s lyrics lack any of the same introspection or self-awareness3. Outrage! Is Now feels like a stranger’s interjection into a heated conversation of which the stranger has little insight, and instead of asking questions or simply listening to others, the stranger is overwhelmed by an urge to voice an opinion. This is the attitude that deceitfully puts itself on the cover. The boring and ignorant version of nihilism that occupies Outrage! Is Now is delivered from a pulpit, the major cause of utter annoyance I feel when I listen the album. It’s an unfortunate step up to the plate when the band hardly even took the soapbox in their first incarnation. While You’re a Woman, I’m a Machine wore its womanizing sexual agenda on its spine, it nonetheless proceeded to be a truly interesting intersection of rock and dance music for its imbrication of harsh noise, explicit sexuality, and succinct repetitive hooks. Outrage! Is Now, however, cowers under a political agenda and, as such, loses all essential character. Our self-proclamatory anti-anthem “Outrage! Is Now” couldn’t be bothered to show up before the arrival of the four-minute sleaze-rock pickup line that is “Caught Up,” a song that drunkenly whispers, “I’m not caught up like all the other guys, but I’m still caught up on something.” The courtship within is incredibly bland, devoid of the excitement found in so much other sex music (including the band’s earlier work). Lyrically-depicted sex finds its place in the ambiguously titled banger “Never Swim Alone” (“Valet park my hump machine/ Backseat conceive, so unclean”), which shoots for the excitement of their earlier work but falls flat with forced rhymes referencing comment sections, Rinpoche, and carbonated water. The music video for “Freeze Me” follows suit, valuing signification over comment. It opens with a TV newsreel depicting breaking news of decontextualized “RIOTS IN THE STREETS,” then fixing its gaze upon a quintet of intensely muscled body-builders. These characters flex, pose, relax, and play in a lavish mansion on a hill for the larger part of the video. The camera’s gaze allows simultaneous sexualization of and alienation from its subjects, an absurdly neutral fixation that doesn’t lead on to any understanding of their role in the situation. By the end of the video, they look out over their valley, brandishing deliberate eye protection and watching the large city in the distance (already in flames amidst its political uproar) disappear under a cheaply rendered mushroom cloud. The implication behind this final moment is unclear, a reading that either (a) continues the band’s cheap, immature, and condescending nihilism, or (b) directly villainizes its othered and exoticized subjects. I know this shit is essentially 2017’s equivalent for the butt rock of yesteryear: fit to form, sure to sell, depoliticized by design. I also know that it’s meant to be fun and that hanging this much intellectual baggage on it might be a mistake (even picking up the lyric sheet might be a mistake of its own). Nonetheless, I can’t hear this record as not only an annoyance, but a bland extension of the overconfident, ignorant solipsism that once drove a self-serious sex rock duo to return to practice in 2011 with a messianic claim: “Jesse and I have decided that what we can do together should not be denied … The collision of two different worlds … we will reveal it to you. All of it happening, as it always has, in our own way.” 1. If the focus on nomadism here is intended to be somehow political, its argument is ahistorical. By insisting that their nomadic subject has been forced into nomadism and only retains that state due to permanent exile or displacement, the band seems to conflate nomadism with current situations of emigration and refuge. This makes the anathematized imperative “push them like they push you” not only naive, but condescending, insensitive, and unhelpful. If this reading seems perhaps too critical or too paranoid, then we can take the song’s interest in the nomad as an invested evocation, in which case it also fails. A wanderer is a likely source of relation for those who find themselves at the fringe of culture that may be part of why the archetype lends itself so well to hard rock and metal. However, “Nomad” not only forgoes relation by establishing that its speaker is distinctly not the nomad, but additionally by failing to provide any evocative details that allow a listener to walk in the nomad’s shoes, so to speak. “Nomad,” the album’s opening song, arises out of a single cheap pun and proceeds to say nothing. 2. James Murphy’s label DFA Records once entered a litigation suit with Death From Above (1979) over their right to use the name Death From Above. Death From Above (1979) reportedly responded at the time with a note on their website: “FUCK DFA RECORDS FUCK JAMES MURPHY WE DECLARE JIHAD ON THEM HOLY WAR ENDING IN THIER [sic] DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT… james murphy is a selfish piece of fuck that will burn in the flames of a specially dedicated rock and roll jihad. if i had the resources i would fly a plane into his skull.” 3. Consider either of these examples against Suicide’s Alan Vega, who on his 2017 posthumous release IT (recorded at age 78) was able to summon the rage that begins a song with the shouted warning: “Racists, stay away/ Hey lousy white racists, stay away.” This is not to say that such rage is to be expected as a high standard of any artist of age, but that the under-interrogation and self-delusion that these artists come forward with is a truly lazy artistic copout. http://j.mp/2fLjhUJ