#VARIAN I WANT YOUR BF

[theshadowyalchemist]

genderbent hugooooo 🥵

I did one of those template things and made genderbends of the gang!! If Vat7k did exist, I'd like to imagine one of those gederbend episodes where they somehow end up in an alternate universe with their other selves. Like imagine the chaos of not one, but TWO Hugos and Yongs

If youre wondering what I would've done with Cyrus, he would kinda look the same, but with no facial hair and idk maybe a braid bc why not. Donella and Hugo were kinda hard cuz I figured they'd kinda be looking the same since their kingdom is more gender neutral with thier clothes

[black-cat-charm]

incorrect quotes

Incorrect quotes timee✨✨

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Camilo: we just didn't wanna see you get hurt!

Krel: I know you think you're tough, but you are 4'11!!

Hiro: I AM 5'0!

----

Jack, pointing at Hiro: that child is morally grey at *best*

Hiro: :33

------------*at a zoo*

Tuffnut: What are they in for?

Hiccup: tuff, this isn't prison. Tuffnut: So they can leave?

Hiccup: No, but-

Tuffnut, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

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Hiro: *accidentally brushes Varian's hand with his own*

Varian: ...

Varian: *aggressively holds Hiro's hand*

Varian, under his breath to Hiro: Fucking commit to it.

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Anna: I need life advice.

Merida, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

---------

Douxie: I love you, kids. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Krel: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Douxie: Yes.

Aja: Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you-

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Hiccup: *fully immersed in a new book, very focused*

Jack: *upside down on the couch* Do you think ducks have feelings?:>

---------

Astrid: sorry for being late, everyone. I havent been sleeping well.

Hiccup: Have you tried a weighted blanket? It's like two people holding you down while you sleep.

Snotlout: hic, blink once if you're in trouble and need assistance. Blink twice if you're just a freak.

Hiccup: *blinks five times*

----

Violet, watching the news: someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Camilo, walks in covered in ink: well, maybe the squid was being a dickhead😒

-----

Astrid: *grabs Elsa's shoulder with one hand and holds up her other hand* I am THIS close to falling in love with you! 👌

Elsa: your fingers are touching-

Astrid: **Did I stutter?**

----

Reporter: What's your type?

Astrid: My beautiful bf,hiccup

*Turning to the other members*Reporter: What about you guys?

Literally everyone else: Astrid's bf

------

Hiccup: *sees Jack wearing fancy clothes*

Hiccup: I see you have a date. Who's the lucky person?

Jack: …

Jack: I forgot to ask you, didn't I...?

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Hiccup: Why are you and Rapunzel sitting with your backs to each other?

Merida: We got into a fight

Hiccup: Then why are you holding hands?

Merida: ....raps gets sad when we fight

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Jack: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Hiccup: Sure!

Hiccup: Whats your favorite color?

Jack, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like boys?

-----

Flynn: You know archaic Latin?

Hiccup: I got bored with classical Latin.

Flynn: You know normal Latin?

Hiccup: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me.

Flynn : YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB?

Hiccup: You don't know everything about me, Rider. Now, do you want a sweater or a scarf?

----

Merida: you fainted, do you remember anything?

Jack: only the ambulance ride

Anna: that wasn’t ambulance ride, i drove you

Jack: but i heard a siren?

Elsa: that was Rapunzel-

Rapunzel: sorry i got nervous -

---

Jack: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Flynn, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant

*they sit there in silence for a moment*

Jack: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost had a panic attack

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Ruffnut: Can we stay with you tonight?

Hiccup: Both of you? What happened?

Tuffnut: Someone was playing with an ouija board and cursed the whole house-

Tuffnut: Snotlout wasn’t any help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he’s just throwing salt at them yelling “does this look like a hotel to you!?”

---

Anna: Why are you eating tofu?

Jack: I'm trying to convince Elsa I'm a vegan

Hiccup: Why?

Jack: I've been stealing chicken from her fridge and if I'm vegan, she can't accuse me of stealing it

Merida: Why not just buy your own chicken?Jack: this is much more fun, watch

Elsa: Okay! I have had enough! WHO THE HELL! IS EATING MY GOD DAMN CHICKEN?!

[the-star-knight]

when your besties bf and gf want to surprise you for your bday

Apparently it’s his fanon bday so yey

If you’re a fan of angst there’s some Varian angst under the cut

I was listening to supermarket flowers and I thought about this 

[elfyourmother]

jumping off the Death Knight ask, do you have ideas about the Night Elf starting quests/areas, especially given how Tyrande, Malfurion, and Fandral are presented to players versus later (it's just bad) in-game/novel writing? Also: I never played WC3 and your comments about characterization have me interested to learn how far Blizz strayed on all these characters over time.

Nope.

I’mma be completely honest, I’ve only ever had 1 night elf at level cap and that was during BC. I finished the revamped zone exactly once, during Cata. I don’t remember any of it. Strap in, there’s a story behind this.

When I started playing WoW it was early on into BC and it was because my boyfriend at the time finally talked me into it. The thing is he was viciously biased against Horde characters and basically forced me to play Alliance even though literally all I wanted was to roll a blood elf because blood elves were my absolute favorite from WC3 and all my faves (Thrall, Cairne, Sylvanas) were Horde. He mained a night elf druid and was so hateful towards blood elves in particular that he refused to even roll a Horde alt even just to play with me, his gf. I always said that he hated the Horde more than he loved me and it was the honest truth. So to keep the peace I was forced to play Alliance, if I wanted to spend any kind of time with him in the game. Night elves were literally the only Alliance race I liked, but they couldn’t be mages at the time for obvious reasons, so playing one was a non-starter. And I hated literally every other Alliance race aesthetic and lore wise so even though it confused the shit out of me as a WC3 player I rolled a draenei as my main. I love her to death even though she’s basically retired in our verse. I did end up rolling my old Neverwinter Nights PC as a night elf hunter and she was the only one I got past the drudgery of the original night elf starting zone (it was so tedious and awful), but I remember very little of it. 

I spent literally the whole time resentful and depressed that I couldn’t play what and how I actually wanted. I would literally want to cry when I would be out in the world and see blood elves on their chocobos, and trolls, etc. In a weird way I felt like bf was keeping me away from my family. I was so intensely miserable when I played Alliance that I ended up secretly rolling Rauthien, my first blood elf OC and the “main” one I guess, on another server and hid it from Ryan bc I knew he would never let me hear the end of grief if he knew. (In hindsight I’ve come to believe that the particularly vicious antipathy he had towards blood elves was due to some pretty bad internalized biphobia on his part. one of the things that eventually caused us to drift apart was his discomfort w being bi whereas I’m...me.)

A lot of other bad things happened between us somewhat unrelated to the game though and we broke up literally after a Naxx raid one night. Next time I logged in it was on Rauthien and I literally never looked back. Last time I logged onto any of those Alliance toons was to move them to a different server, and I did the pre-Cata stuff on a couple of them. They’re all still level 80 though, like trapped in amber.

So in a lot of ways that whole experience soured me on night elves. And frankly I’m just not interested in Alliance shit. I never was to begin with, and being forced to steep myself in it for the better part of two years when I was new to the game because I was dating an asshole who was the archetypical Alliance stan I have come to loathe just turned me off to it even further. I deliberately don’t give them any attention in my work. I love my draenei girls and the work Dandy has done with Varian and I still love Tyrande no matter how much they’ve dragged my girl thru the mud in WoW but there’s a very good reason Dandy handles all the blue team stuff in our verse. I don’t want any part of it.

[cartoonsownmysoul]

I think they both did fucked up shit

but Varian wasn't quickly forgiven

I don't know who he is anymore after stealing the sundrop

I can still save her nevermind she nearly killed my bf .. destroyed Corona.. tried to kill me. Varian originally wanted to help Corona

one also had a better motivation trapped father abandoned by your best friend kidnapper she had to know gothel sucked

and raps kinda acted meh on varians dad even tho she saw him in the Amber and his villiany was more entertaining and faster.

Cass was shallow and to long it's a hard fact of life someone is gonna have better luck than you but still the whole second best thing made no sense .

Raps gave her the trophy in their competition season one

Cass got to be in charge during varians villian Arc , everyone loves loved her ideas in Goodwill day in that gritty village

I really like Cass early seasons but season three she's dead to me I've seen redemption done so much better ..zuko.. Iago..terra

They did early season Cass dirty

Would be nice to have a message of sometimes forgiveness isn't the answer itskindatoxic

The show is finally over but I'm not sure how to feel about Cassandras "redemption" we see her get so easily forgiven even though she caused people to die, dragged people who weren't even part of her problem with Rapunzel and everyone brushes it off but in Varian's arc his actions weren't as bad and everyone treated him worse

[sigurdjarlson]

Replies! Woo! super late i know

highpriestessbriyanna said: This is always my reaction. Like “yes. keep talking. Wait.. did you just PUN at me again.. IMA KNIOCK THAT FUCKER OFF A CLIFF” 

IM 99.9% sure someone has knocked khadgar off a cliff before and there’s an 80% chance it was because of a pun

owmyeyeballs said: You ok, friendbeast?

just tired and in a bit of a slump but i’ll be okay. thank you <3

owmyeyeballs said: Know that feel…

my poor girl! hasn’t she been through enough.. (*evil brain sounds*) 

skullkind said: congrats!

Thank you!! It was the shitty demon hunter boots but it’s better than nothin! 

lovesdaryl said: Feel better soon. *hugs*

thank you <3 *hugs*

skullkind said: me with illidan like once a week

same tbh

casterlycosplay said: Very relatable content

i wish i could say its the first time i’ve teared up while thinking about khadgar..but its not

apaladinfailure said: this is the most relatable thing you’ve ever posted

Khadgar..such a tearjerker huheuheuh he cries while he wanks 

anzareveange said: im giving him all my love.

same. i want blizz to let me hug him so bad like PLEASE

skullkind said: hey !! im skull and ive been following you for a while and think youre super chill! i llove ur wow posting ! you dont need to follow back but i would love to chat sometime or stuff ^^ 

hello!!1 :D thank you for following. I’m glad you enjoy them. Feel free to contact me anytime! I’d love to chat

shadowphoenixrider said: Yeah, I remember her sneaking around the Twilight Highlands in Cata.

That sounds like her <3

ship-garbage-pile said: ^^ yeah she’s one of the quest givers order hall

I need to level my rogue..

lovesdaryl said: I might have mentioned this, but we went to ZG before it was patched out and I actually won the tiger and gave it to my husband as a gift. He looks magnificent on it. :-)

this is honestly the sweetest thing ever

anzareveange said: sleeping with the enemy…

Khadgar and Gul’dan have some serious unresolved sexual tension lbr

owmyeyeballs said: I love reading your responses to these. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense! XD

I love answering them <3

a-little-squirrely-sunshine said: My cat is named David Bowie, and depending on how I phrase things I get the best odd looks from my friends.

That’s great like i cna just imagine..DAVID BOWIE WHAT DO YOU  HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH sdkgkdfh

owmyeyeballs said: These two just keep on breaking my heart…

they break mine too ugh. My poor babies

shadowphoenixrider said: I’d vote, but I like quite a few and I don’t think they’d all fit in this text box. I might…steal one idea though.

Steal as many as you’d like and I’d still love to hear which ones you think i should write! 

doitsuki said: yes genn is lower in the hierarchy

he’s..the omega

ghoulghoulneighbor said: But they said no homo while they did it……….

blizzard could make a cinemeatic where khadgar and medivh have explicit sex and they’d still be like.. “no homo tho” 

shadowphoenixrider said: Eggs-llecent idea, Archmage.

BLOCKED

anzareveange said: take all my dollars blizzard! hire him for the movie!

I won’t accept anyone else as old khadgar now. Someone get me into contact with George

owmyeyeballs said: i love them!!!!

My fierce saber queens <3

apaladinfailure said: omg that it so sweet im crying

i cried a lil while writing it so don’t feel bad hehheh

owmyeyeballs said: Oh dear lord, that was adorable and sad… someone protect these sweethearts!

protect Khadgar and Jaina 2k17

shadowphoenixrider said: Ow my heart! If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just lie down…right here…

i had to do the same after writing it tbh

owmyeyeballs said: Sweet, precious babies!

i just want to hold them both

shadowphoenixrider said: *chinhands* These are lovely, you know.

thank you so much!! 

shadowphoenixrider said: I’m not quite sure my heart should be hurting this much in the morning, but it is! 

Hohoho there’s a lot more where that came from!

ghoulghoulneighbor said: How dare u. This is some 10/10 pain, would cry again.

Same tbh. I made their parents and I was like shit..i love them  

ghoulghoulneighbor said: I knew Illidan was the daddy kink type, I just knew it

YOU ARE NOT PREPARED...FOR ILLIDADDY’S DICK

ghoulghoulneighbor said: what have I started.

*points at medivh* Medaddy.

*points at Gul’dan* Gul’daddy

anzareveange said: Many races dont have orphans or child models. i want to see a tauren child, or a dwarf or a gnome child.

there are nightborne children models so blizz really doesn’t have an excuse anymore. I want children models for all the races, blizz. Give me this now

shadowphoenixrider said: I’d like to inform you that Khadgar is introduced in the book Tides of Darkness with a youngster in one arm and holding the hand of another. We don’t call him Dadgar for nothing! ^^

OH NO!!! This is so sweet I really need to read Tides of Darkness...and Beyond the Dark Portal

anzareveange said: “Put that thing back where it came from” no, it can be really painfull, also the mother is dead, so no.

maybe illidan doesn’t know where babies come from 

ghoulghoulneighbor said: you’d think his hunters would be expecting this kind of thing by now tho

very true. new recruits learn very quickly not to stand behind Illidaddy. He’s very dramatic and very passionate. when he gets excited he can’t control his wings

shadowphoenixrider said: I’d like to add that if you put a pet bed down, it’ll attempt to ‘sit’ in it. Reduced my bf to wheezing laughter when he saw it.

FDHDfhd I KNOW ISN’T IT GREAT. You make him jump through the flaming hoop too. 

It catches on fire sometimes and runs away...oops 

shalar0s said: I’m dying over the “well that’s new.” Oh my god I can’t breathe.

nothing surprises Moroes anymore. Nothing. 

unidentified-starman said: see, kids? this is what happens when you party (& clean up the library) too much

Ben!Khadgar? Before Medivh.

Game!Khadgar? After Medivh.

Medivh is a helluva drug

spicymulligan said: Boy howdy ur gonna LOVE Glee then

this is the worst thing you’ve ever said to me

ghoulghoulneighbor said: The ONLY way to treat your giant fuzzy murdercat

she loves her giant fuzzy murdercats <33

owmyeyeballs said: I want to hug Dilly too!

She needs a hug tbh

apaladinfailure said: this is entirely possible with genn greymane

SOMEONE DREW THAT!! I don’t know where it is but it was his wife riding on his back into battle

derp-mage said: It would have been glorious and now I’m mad he didn’t go full on worgen run

blizzard let us ride Malfurion in his regular form

WAIT NO

owmyeyeballs said: KHADGAR DO NOT FUCK THE SKULL

too late. he hurt himself rip

unidentified-starman said: it’ll look even more ridiculous when he appears in the warcraft movie sequel or smth (i hope it gets made sometime). he’ll probably be at least half cgi (or a man flapping his arms in a motion capture suit). look at cgi malfurion go

I am excited and dreading the day they add Malfurion to the films. Because he’s either going to look awesome or fuckin terribly hilarious (more likely tbh) and I can’t wait. (SHIT...motion capture behind the scene shit is so great) 

shadowphoenixrider said: pffft that second one. AFAIK Khadgar asplodes everyone in Kilrogg’s vision, but I don’t think it’s Mythic difficulty? Could be wrong.

hmm i just did the Kilrogg fight on mythic on both Diily and Alaluria and didn’t get any visions. Is there something I have to do to trigger it? (i will cry)

ghoulghoulneighbor said: Your tag said wing burrito and I thought of a burrito stuffed with chicken wings, with the horns and blindfold. …I’ll see myself out.

*muffled sobbing from the bathroom* I was not prepared for these burritos..

shadowphoenixrider said: Don’t apologise, I love hearing these.

you’re an angel. thank you <3

carlyrosk said: That’s how I am too oh my god. That cinematic crushed both me and my Deathlord! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Genn! He’s been through SO much, and he’s just snapped with Varian’s death.

Genn’s reaction to Varian’s death in the cinematic kills me every time. Genn kills me. My poor old wolf man </3

[katieskarlette]

mxcreed replied to your post: Question into the shipping pot - Thrall x Jaina?...

Mind if I ask why no Jaina/Varian? I’m curious :o

Well, it’s a combination of things.

1.  Too much baggage due to their shared history with Arthas.  

2.  It has a “pair the spares” feeling to it, like, “Well, Arthas and Tiffin are dead, so let’s have their loved ones hook up.”  Too convenient and boring.

3.  It would have taken Jaina away from Theramore (back when it existed), and since she founded and led the city from day one it didn’t seem fair (or narratively satisfying) to have her be like, “Well, got a new BF now, I’m off to Stormwind, good luck with everything!”

4.  I want to take the “a single man and a single woman can’t be just friends” myth/trope and burn it in dragonfire.

5.  It reeks of the “troubled man needs understanding woman to tame him and quiet his demons” cliche.  I much preferred Varian working through his own issues without the Love of a Good Woman(tm) magically making everything better.  (Plus, Jaina has plenty of issues of her own to work through, and I was afraid all that would be swept under the carpet in favor of Varian’s narrative.)

6.  WoW just plain doesn’t have the greatest track record when it comes to portraying relationships, and I like(d) both Jaina and Varian too much to wish that on them. Thrall/Aggra came out of nowhere and was all “tell, don’t show.”  Malfurion/Tyrande are over-the-top sappy, and the less said about the “hush” incident, the better.  I’ve always really liked Jaina, and I didn’t want to see her character damaged by becoming Varian’s arm candy.   I’d seen a glimmer of that with her tearful “I’m just so proud of my king” line in ICC.  It’s fine that she was moved by Varian’s gesture of kindness to Saurfang Sr., but when we got that and nothing at all about how she felt upon Arthas’ death?  That’s using Jaina as a plot device to prop up Varian, and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Granted, she and Sylvanas had their moments in the Halls of Reflection that called attention to their complicated histories with Arthas, which was awesome, but we should have had some kind of followup when he was actually killed.  (I guess the Sylvanas short story did that, but Jaina didn’t get the chance beyond a line or two if you hand in the locket quest.) I digress.  The point is, there was a very real danger for Jaina to be turned into a pro-Varian cheerleader at the expense of her own plot arc, and that’s when I really solidified my “OMG please no” opinion of the ship.

Now, would it be possible for someone to write a romantic relationship between Jaina and Varian that was respectful of both characters, their history, their traumas, their differences and similarities?  Sure.  But the way romance is handled in WoW, and the way their interactions in WotLK were going, it would probably have been a trainwreck.

Wow, that got waaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than I meant it to.  I’ll shut up now.