#Upper East Side Widow

[jewishrizahawkeye]

taylor is giving the upper east side widow in these pics

[dannyreviews]

High Hopes (1988)

If you’re a frequent visitor to my page, you would know that one of my favorite directors of all time is Mike Leigh. His unconventional manner of working without a script and crafting the actor’s performances through workshops creates an actual slice of life printed on film. 1988 was the year that Leigh broke away from being a national figure of the arts and branched off internationally. “High Hopes” is Leigh’s introduction to a wider audience of cinema lovers and 35 years later, he’s viewed as one of Britain’s greatest auteurs.

The film focuses on a slew of characters that couldn’t be more different in economic classes and personalities. We’re introduced to Cyril and Shirley (Phil Davis and Ruth Sheen), ex-hippies that love Karl Marx, hate Margaret Thatcher, smoke marijuana and take in strangers. Cyril’s elderly mother Mrs. Bender (Edna Dore), a widow losing grip on her life. Cyril’s unstable sister Valerie (Heather Tobias) who is married to a self made businessman and adulterer Martin (Philip Jackson) and finally, Mrs. Bender’s rich neighbors Laeticia and Rupert (Lesley Manville and David Bamber). Over the course of a few days, these characters will clash in the most ironic, humorous and tragic ways.

50 years earlier, William Wyler’s “Dead End” gleaned on the topic of gentrification (a term not coined at the time). In that film, a slum on the East Side of Manhattan was gradually being transitioned into a high end neighborhood where the upper crust were more appealed by the status of living in such a place rather than fitting in. Mike Leigh took this topic to a whole new satirical level. Mrs. Bender is the last pensioner on a block that is being bought up by condo developers and transformed into prime real estate. When Mrs. Bender locks herself out of her home, Laetita is hesitant to help her, but begrudgingly does so as to not appear too cold. It is inside where both Laetita and Rupert treat her more as an inconvenience rather than someone they are willing to help, much like how they view all poor and working class people with contempt. Leigh doesn’t hide the rich neighbors’ almost-hatred of this poor woman, a savage dig at the upper crust Thatcher-loving milieu destroying the backbone of English society.

“High Hopes” shows us that both the rich and the poor and left-wing and right-wing are both warped in their everyday lives. Cyril and Shirley talk about revolution, but know that its unrealistic to carry out. Instead, they prefer their current lifestyle because anything else would be a detriment. Out of all the characters, they are the happiest, yet the most idle. Valerie and Martin are the most miserable, even though they are economically stable. Laetita and Rupert want to be seen as generous, whether its helping old ladies or going to homeless charity dinners, but don’t want to lift a finger. If anything, they are hippies masquerading in fancy dress up. Mrs. Bender is the only character that is really salt of the earth, a symbol of a patriotic Britain far gone. And yet, Leigh doesn’t turn these characters into status symbols, but actually living, breathing creations. 

Leigh’s usual revolving door of actors have never disappointed in 50 years of film, television and theater. “High Hopes” is no exception. Every performance emulates the natural dialect of both the neighborhood and the economic class so you get a feel of the rift between the characters. But I would like to highlight one particular scene that shows not only the amazing cast, but the cinematic ambiance of capturing a moment in real time. When the family gathers for Mrs. Bender’s 70th birthday, they are in complete shambles. As the candle is blown out, Valerie insists that her mother has a piece of the cake, but is completely shot down. This leads into a fight in which the camera is solely on Mrs. Bender with the saddest expression imaginable. If this was a Hollywood film, the mother would’ve screamed at them for being rude, but instead you have a much more down to earth reaction. That is a credit to Edna Dore, who I believe should have won every acting accolade in the book for that scene alone. Classic Mike Leigh moment.

“High Hopes” was a big hit on the film festival circuit, winning an award at the Venice Film Festival as well as winning acting prizes at the European Film Awards for Sheen and Dore. As the last 35 years have shown, Mike Leigh has revolutionized the way in which characters are molded and turned into regular human beings. I have yet to see another director come this close in taking on Leigh’s unadulterated substance.

9/10

[chernayavidua]

"can i stay with you ?  just for the night ." from moa xoxo

location: natasha's upper east side apartment

there's a miss zhao here to see you.

                 “ send her up. ”

                 sleep had been light and fleeting but it was the best unmedicated sleep she'd had in what felt like ages. light floods her senses as she flicks the kitchen light on. the samovar and kettle are set heat up. two mugs are set upon the marble countertop of the kitchen island just as the elevator dings. the door slides open to reveal moa, slightly damp most likely from the rain that had let up not less than an hour ago.

can i stay with you? just for the night? moa asks as she lingers by the elevator.

                 “ of course. come in. give me a minute. ” natasha motions her to take a seat at one of the bar stools. tightening the belt on her robe, she pads soundlessly across the kitchen and dining area and into the living room and beyond to the single bedroom. grabbing a set of spare lounge clothes from the bottom drawer of her dresser---an old yale t-shirt courtesy of phil and sweats she'd borrowed from karen but never gave back--- she pads backs down the hall and into the kitchen where her surprise guest waits. the kettle starts its low groan like whistle that slowly begins to increase in volume.

                 natasha places the clothes in front of moa with a small smile and turns the burner of the kettle to low. “ i don't have a spare room but the couch folds out. it is surprisingly comfortable. ” considering she had given moa this address in case of emergencies she understood the need to keep details to a minimum. still, that didn't mean that she wasn't going to gently probe, after all seeking the widow out in her ivory tower was at such an hour was a move out of desperation.

                 “ the bathroom is just down the hall to your right. you can take a warm shower if you need to. ”

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: John Gallagher Jr 

full name: Benjamin Daniel Parsons

nickname(s) / goes by: Benji, Ben, please never Benjamin 

pronouns & gender: cis man, he/him

sexuality: asexual 

birth date: September 24, 1989

birth place: Upper East Side, NYC

arrival to merrock: about a year and a half

housing: Suburbs: Lupine Lane

occupation: record store clerk

work place: the Vinyl Hub

family: James (father), Maggie (mother), Lilly (sister), Ricky (brother, estranged) None in Maine

relationship status: terribly single

PERSONALITY

Benji is some brand of neurodivergent, most likely ASD. He’s a gentle soul and doesn’t like to make waves. He’s quiet around people he doesn’t know but he has a sardonic streak and a morbid sense of humor that comes out when he’s comfortable with a person. He’s prone to overthinking. He has major depression and anxiety, though these are mostly controlled with medication (both prescribed and not entirely so). He’s a walking encyclopedia of music and horror movies and has a wealth of useless knowledge. You don’t want to watch Jeopardy with him. He’s very intelligent but sometimes a bit slow on the uptake because he’s stoned a great deal of the time.

WRITTEN BY: Bec (they/them), PST.

BACKGROUND / BIO

triggering / sensitive content: death, parental death, birthing complications, health / medical issues, suicide attempt, depression, anxiety, illness, hospitalization

Born in NYC September 24, 1989 to James and Danielle Parsons. Danielle had a hemorrhage and Benji was born premature. Danielle, unfortunately, didn’t make it, leaving James a young widower and single father.

Had health problems from the start and never outgrew them. His immune system is “absolute garbage,” and that’s all the explanation you will get from him.

Was interested in art and music from a young age, began learning the guitar at seven to keep him busy in his many hospital stays.

James met Maggie at a youth art show where Benji had some works entered. They got into an argument over whether or not the boy had actually painted his entries. When it turned out that he had, she apologized, phone numbers were exchanged, dates happened, and they eventually married. She brought along her son, Ricky, who was a few months older than Ben. The boys were very much opposites, but got along very well until their teen years. A little sister, Lilly, was born when Benji was ten. He adored her from the start and she became his “protector” as she aged.

The Depression started around the age of twelve and never let him go. It gets better and he has good stretches, but it never goes away completely.

While his brother was theatrical and dramatic, Benji was quiet and introverted. Despite numerous attempts to get him on stage, Benji preferred doing tech, especially running the lights.

High school wasn’t a great time; he didn’t have many friends, being generally odd and quiet. He considered his brother to be his best friend but it was around the age of sixteen when they began to drift apart. At seventeen, Ricky’s maternal grandmother got him into a prestigious boarding school overseas, leaving Benji alone. They didn’t really talk much after that, Benji feeling abandoned over the entire situation and Ricky not really understanding why Ben was upset.

After graduating high school, he went to NYU/Tisch School of the Arts, in the Department of Design for Stage and Film. He got through a year and a half, could not deal with the pressure of school and went into a major depressive episode. He just broke and attempted suicide. Spent 6 months in a mental health facility, then moved home with parents upon discharge. He stayed there roughly another 6 months, and just decided to leave one day. Kept in vague contact with family and a couple of friends, but mostly was solitary and nomadic. Essentially homeless. What he calls his “hobo era”

Had a really bad winter in 2020, contracted covid pneumonia, ended up in hospital for a while, then moved in at his grandma’s place in upstate New York to recoup, couldn’t take the City. 

Grandma passed 2022, left the property to him and his sister, it was sold and they halved the money.

Wandered up to Maine because Stephen King. Just. Stephen King, man. Came across Merrock and decided to settle for a bit. “Settling a bit” is about as close to “settling down” as he ever comes. The hobo urge is strong.

[landofrelgian]

Where they live

Del’Ave and Relgian live in a small house outside of their grandparents’ bigger, nicer house with a working bathroom, kitchen and a humble living room with two couches, a chair and a TV. The house is considerably small for the pair despite them being considered the kings of the kingdom. However, Fernil and Gaiwal live in a house that is at least four times as big with a functioning playground, pool and a living area with a huge television taking up one wall of the living room. They’re the oldest living members of the kingdom and because they’re the grandparents of Del’Ave and Gaiwal this is where the kingdom typically meets when they all get together. They got together after Del’Ave and Relgian became a couple because they were both widows and found themselves in love with each other after meeting.

Decalia and Harili live on the other side of the river, on the other side of the large swath of slums, on the edge of the woods on the west side of the city. They were Fernil and Gaiwal’s friends in high school when they were freshmen and after they graduated they were often let the two spend time together at their house. It’s a studio apartment with one room that contains a kitchen area and a living room area. Their bed is in the center of the room and on the other side of the room is a couch and a TV.

Luchek and Adoriah live on the same side of the river Del’Ave and Relgian, but they live to the southeast in the country in a house that looks like it was converted from a barn. There are beds in the loft and a living area down below with a kitchen and a bathroom in separate rooms in the back of the barn. There’s a big dining table in the middle and a few cozy chairs. They live in a field with a wide swath of land.

Bossiv and Lilivo is upper middle class and they live in a nice house with a few spare bedrooms, a kitchen, dining room and living room that are separate. They have a nice backyard with a tree that has a treehouse and a pond filled with tiny fish. Their house is generally well-kept but they don't have gatherings there very often.

Vodnes, Preen, Ronica and Vervox live in a castle next to the sea. It's a very old castle that has been around since the city itself was around. It has various rooms including a ballroom, training area and garden and often times the kingdom will gather here and often for extended amount of times and especially when there's a problem that needs to be solved. The beach beside the castle is also private so it's the ideal place for them to meet on the beach in which they don't have to worry about the public. Because they live in the castle, often people will say they're the actual leaders, but really they're more like advisors to Del'Ave and Relgian.

Denjin and Murli live in a fishing hut by the sea where Denjin will often catch fish to feed the two of them. The cabin itself is one room with a bed as well as a few hammocks. There's an outhouse that's maintained by the city as well as a few other bathrooms they can use. When it's warmer they stay in the hut and when it gets colder they'll travel to the city and stay in a hotel, though after they joined the kingdom they often stay with one of the other members. 

Brunis and Zolene live in a middle-class household with an extra bedroom, a kitchen with a kitchen table, and a living room that has a couch and a few chairs with a table in the middle. They have a nice yard with a few trees and lawn furniture with a swing. Their house is beside the river on the east side beside the bridge.

Rayla and Wisty live in a manor northeast of where Del'Ave, Relgian, Fernil and Gaiwal live. Their land they live on is vast and maintained by servants. Their most prominent and leading servants are Shini and Fang. There are many bedrooms and many other functional rooms including sitting rooms and a complex library. They have gardens and various trails and tracks around their home. They take great pride in housing the kingdom when they can and often house the less fortunate members when they need it.

Diagon and Lystra technically live in the slums, having a small house where they keep their belongings, but they spend so much time traveling that they're rarely actually found there. They each have a car and they make a living by being a taxi service. What their home does have is a bed and a working toilet and during the times when they're home they can often keep each other comfortable and warm using their body heat.

Belizet and Tolti live in a laboratory just north of the slums. There's a living area with a couple of bedrooms in which they each have their own room. The living section of their home is mostly decorated a blinding white including the furniture so that it appears almost too clean. The majority of the building is labs that both of them work in. There are other scientists that work with them as well, but they're the main scientists.

Ales and Gerti live in a cabin west of where Luchek and Adoriah live. They live off the river and hunt animals south of the city. They appear poor on the service, but their cabin is built well and is warm even during the winter with a fire place and a small bathroom. There's a shower as well. They have a garden and a bar where Ales sells his custom drinks. He has a brewery as well. They have a cellar under the cabin where there's storage and equipment.

Arlo and Jan live in a house boat that moves along the river and over the ocean, though never far enough to not see the shore. There's a bed and some hammocks on the boat as well as a few chairs that are nailed down. There's a television that's imbedded in the wall. There's a grill on the deck and they mostly live off the fish they catch and provide food for the kingdom.

Erinn and Trundle live in a tower that's a little southwest of where Decalia and Harili live. They top of the tower is where they keep their bedroom, but there's a few lower rooms that are for guests and a ground sitting room where they most often meet guests. They don't keep people often, but they will for emergencies. They often offer Decalia and Harili vegetables from their garden. They have some on ground level and a flower garden on the roof.

Shini and Fang live with Rayla and Wisty. They have servants' quarters in which there are nicer rooms for Shini and Fang as the head butler and handmaid to Rayla and Wisty. They are responsible for keeping the place clean and managing the gardens though they're at the top of the servants and often delegate these responsibilities. Their room is nice like the guest room and they have a single bed as well as a couch for lounging on.

[scottsanchez]

full name: scotty nathaniel sanchez

nicknames: scotty, scott, sanchez, chief

age: 48

dob: july 31st

hometown: brooklyn, new york city

current location: new york city, new york

neighborhood: upper east side, manhattan, new york

occupation: chief of police

gender: cis male

sexuality: heterosexual

relationship status: widowed (single)

theme song: ain’t no angel - ron pope

TW: teen pregnancy mention, TW: alcoholism mention, TW: drug addiction mention, TW: spousal death, TW: infant death, TW: car crash

Scotty Nathaniel Sanchez was born on July 31st back in 1974, to two young teens. Peter and Gina Sanchez had met and fallen in love during their freshman year of high school. However, they had fallen within the wrong crowd and became addicted to both drugs and alcohol.

During their Junior year of high school, both at their lowest point, Gina had surprised Peter by telling him she was pregnant with their first and only child. It was Gina’s choice to go along with the pregnancy, she didn’t want to become a mother but the young woman decided that maybe it was time to get a fresh start. In the beginning of her pregnancy, Gina and Peter were doing really well. The two stopped hanging out with the wrong people, and started to get their lives together. Being only eighteen, it was tough to take on the kind of responsibility they were going too take on, but the two were doing it. Peter found a job as a mechanic, working on cars while getting his grades back up, while Gina found a job as full time nanny to a wonderful family.

The two had been doing really good, they were getting their life back on track to provide a happy, healthy and loving home for their first child. Sure Gina and Peter were terrified to become parents, but they were going to pull through. On that hot summer’s evening, that’s when the young couple had welcomed their first and only child. Together Peter and Gina had brought Scotty Nathaniel Sanchez into this World. He was their perfect little thing, and the moment Scotty was placed in Gina’s arms, that was her snap back into reality. That was the moment Peter and Gina realized that loving alcohol and drugs wasn’t worth it. So they both gave it up for good.

It was for the better that Peter and Gina gave up their old ways, in all honesty it had helped Scotty in the long run. He ended up having a good childhood, they worked hard and cherished him. They took care of him and provided him a happy and loving home. Growing up, Scotty got good grades in school and from an early age he knew what he wanted to do in life. He enjoyed sports, and was on the basketball and baseball team. The young kid was an active student and was always on honor roll. He enjoyed being on the Yearbook Committee during his freshman year of high school, and even ran for class president. To say he was pretty much the golden boy of his grade was an understatment.

Sure popularity was nice but it didn’t mean anything to him, his grades did however so he worked hard. He worked hard and had gotten accepted into Columbia University in New York City during his junior year. Senior year is where he had excelled the most. After graduating, it was that summer where he moved into his own apartment in New York to study at Columbia that changed his life for the better.

It was at Columbia University where his life began. At least, that’s what he thought. His life didn’t begin until he had met Alyssa Conway. She was just his type and Scotty fell in love with her. He fell head over heels the moment they met. The two dated for a few years, but then Scotty had finally got up the courage to ask her to marry him after they graduated. She had graduated from Columbia with a degree in English, while he ended up graduating from the Police Academy and becoming a Detective.

She of course said yes to his proposal, but you know the saying. First comes love, then comes marriage and—-, Scotty and Alyssa had welcomed Violet Grace Sanchez. The first eleven months of Violet’s life was perfect. A little right after her first birthday however, Alyssa was driving both her and Violet home from their Doctors appointment when a semi truck had hit her car and the two sadly passed on impact. It had destroyed Scotty, absolutely devastated him. Loosing not only the love of his life, but his daughter as well. Both Alyssa and Violet gone.

Scotty became cynical, hot-headed and a bit of a workaholic. Cracking case after case. Working hours on end, still being the Chief of Police.

[serendipdivulgacao]

Avida de Katy é cercada por tragédias e mortes desde o dia do seu nascimento, ela cresce em um lar sem amor, violento e cheio de sofrimentos, mas quando Katy se vê liberta, de sua vida de tristezas, ela passa a acreditar que havia encontrado a felicidade, até uma grande tragédia marcar sua vida mais uma vez fazendo com que ela comece a acreditar que a morte sempre foi e sempre será a sua única companheira. Decidida, Katy passa a caminhar lado a lado com a morte, se fecha para relacionamentos profundos e tenta não amar mais ninguém. Fazendo da morte a sua profissão, Katy abraça uma oportunidade de trabalho e se torna uma assassina profissional, um trabalho perigoso, porém excitante e extremamente rentável para ela. Quando Katy se torna uma assassina ela recebe a fama de matar os seus alvos após o sexo, se tornando conhecida no meio em que atua pelo codinome Black Widow. Ela passa a amar seu trabalho e, além dele, ela ama sua vida de luxo, sua cobertura no Upper East Side e seu gato persa. Mas sua vida começa a mudar quando ela se permite a ter amigos e no momento em que um homem entra em sua vida de uma maneira inusitada e repentina. Mesmo que Katy tente afastá-lo a todo custo, ele insiste em retornar, por ajuda do acaso, ou do destino. Ela se vê em uma situação difícil quando começa a sentir medo de perder aqueles ao seu redor e, diante dessa preocupação, Katy vê a necessidade de que o ciclo de tragédias seja quebrado, mas é necessário que ela descubra como conseguirá afastar a morte de si para que consiga manter uma vida tranquila e com todos aqueles que ela preza ao seu lado sem que a morte ceife suas vidas.

[dwellordream]

Wahala by Nikki May. Drama/thriller. Ronke, Boo, and Simi have been best friends since university, united by their background as mixed race white/Nigerian women and their dysfunctional families. Ronke dreams of true love, though her friends disapprove of her immature, unreliable boyfriend. Boo seems to have the perfect husband and child, but longs for the independence and freedom she had before motherhood. Simi is an ambitious perfectionist who seems to have aced her 'long distance marriage' with her constantly traveling husband, yet can't admit to him that she has no desire for a baby. The tightknit trio is rocked when a mysterious woman from their past returns- cheerful, beautiful, gossipy Isabel, a cunning socialite who encourages them to go after what they want- no matter the cost to their reputations or friendship.

Aesthetica by Allie Rowbottom. Sci fi/drama. Once upon a time, she was a beloved social media influencer, with millions of adoring fans on Instagram and YouTube. Sixteen years later, cast out of the public eye and nursing the wounds of dozens of cosmetic surgeries, our heroine elects to go under the knife one final time- but before her last surgery, she wants to set the record straight. What drove her to pursue fame? What's the truth about her former manager, now accused of widespread sexual abuse and coercion? And what do you do when the spotlight switches off?

Fever by Deon Meyer. Sci fi. A pandemic has destroyed most of society and civilization. In South Africa, a teenage boy called Nico follows his idealistic father Willem on his journey to create a community of survivors dedicated to restoring what was lost. Even as Nico admires his father's pacifism and intelligence, he realizes Willem is no match for the new world's brutality, and falls under the sway of Domingo, a military veteran with palpable disdain for Willem's dreams of democracy. As Nico matures from a naive boy to an angry young man, he must choose where his loyalties lie, and what it means to be a leader.

When We Were Bright and Beautiful by Jillian Medoff. Drama/thriller. The ludicrously wealthy Quinns rule Manhattan's Upper East Side, and their political and social influence stretches far beyond New York City. Cassie, always insecure about her place in the family as their only adopted child, is horrified when her sweet, shy younger brother Billy is accused of rape by his ex-girlfriend. Determined to help her family defend their son, Cassie is willing to do whatever it takes to clear Billy's name- but along the way, discovers more than one dark family secret- including one that revolves around herself.

Red Rabbit by Alex Grecian. Horror/dark fantasy. In an alternate Wild West, where demons, ghosts, and sinister cults hold sway, a bounty is set on the infamous witch Sadie Grace. A motley crew assembles to bring the witch to justice, including two reckless Civil War veterans turned cowboys, a widow seeking a new home, an eccentric witch-finder, and a mysterious orphaned girl. As they head towards Burden County, Kansas, the group runs afoul of cannibals, outlaws, and hauntings, while Sadie Grace prepares to give her visitors a warm welcome steeped in hellfire.

We Could Be Beautiful by Swan Huntley. Thriller. Catherine West, wealthy socialite and unlucky in love, wants nothing more than to settle down and start a family. When she encounters William Stockton, a successful banker and old family friend, her misfortune in romance seems poised to change. Her increasingly senile mother's warnings about William matter little to Catherine; nor does his intense Catholicism or his unsettling bursts of violence and manipulation. Catherine is used to having what she wants, and with her trust fund running low, she is determined to secure a happy ending. But what exactly is William hiding? And how well does she really know him?

Movie Star by Lizzie Pepper by Hilary Liftin. Realistic fiction/drama. Lizzie Pepper, teen drama actor turned America's Sweetheart after her marriage to mega-action-star Rob Mars, is ready to tell-all about her infamous marriage and shocking divorce. Lizzie was living every woman's dream- married to Hollywood's most popular leading man, mother to two adorable little boys, and reaping the benefits of the mysterious religious organization known as One Cell. But the dream life might not have been worth it after all- not when Lizzie realizes the cost of committing to life with Rob, or the darker side of his fame.

The Parliament by Aimee Pokwatka. Horror/mystery. Estranged from her friends and family after surviving a horrific event, chemist Mady Purdy reluctantly returns home to West Virginia to teach a science class at the local library. Overwhelmed by her moody teenage charges, and doing her best to avoid her former best friends, Mady isn't prepared for the library to be besieged by a hundreds of thousands of owls, all of whom are intent upon tearing apart anyone who tries to exit or enter the building. As the town authorities launch increasingly dangerous and haphazard efforts to destroy the owls, Mady must face her own dark past to protect her students.

Books Recs of 2024

The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett. Mystery/fantasy centered around Din, a young assistant investigator assigned to help an eccentric and infamous detective, Ana Dolabra, solve a series of murders. Din is an engraver, his brain altered so he has a photographic memory. However, no one is quite sure how he got his current position, since he failed every single one of his final exams except the combat portion. Ana is an exceedingly odd woman who refuses to go to any crime scene in person and often performs mad science experiments in her spare time. As Din struggles to keep up with the case, which revolves around a bioweapon being unleashed on a series of the empire's best engineers, he also worries what will happen when Ana finally uncovers his secrets.

Highfire by Eoin Colfer. Urban fantasy (very comedic fantasy) about a dragon called Vern (short for Wyvern), who teams up with a juvenile delinquent named Squib (real name Everett Moreau) to take down a corrupt sheriff who is plaguing the Lousiana bayou. Vern is a very small (seven feet long) dragon who is the last of his kind (as far as he knows). When he is spotted by a local troubled teen, his first instinct is to hunt Squib down and kill him, but he quickly realizes the two of them have a common enemy- the murderous sheriff who is running drugs through their territory.

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi. Magical realism about a romantic-minded art historian who is swept off his feet by a mysterious and charming heiress. After a whirlwind courtship, the happy couple return to her childhood home; a Gothic manor on a lonely island. The more time our narrator spends around his wife's past, the more questions are raised- increasingly sinister ones about who she is and what exactly she is capable of. Once upon a time, she was best friends with an equally odd and dreamy little girl named Indigo. But no one has seen Indigo for many years now- and the Flower Bride may be behind her disappearance.

Chlorine by Jade Song. Horror/magical realism. Since childhood, Ren's entire identity has been wrapped up in swimming. If she can be strong enough, fast enough, special enough, success is sure to come her way. As the end of high school approaches, Ren's passion for swimming becomes less about her future, and more about past legends of mermaids and sirens dragging sailors into the deep. School, friends, and her parents' expectations all fall away- Ren will make her home in the water, no matter what she has to do.

We Are Not Like Them by Christine Pride & Jo Piazza. Realistic fiction. Jen and Riley have been best friends for as long as they can remember, despite their vastly different childhoods. Riley is from a middle class Black family; Jen was raised by an impoverished white single mother. After twenty years of doing almost everything together, their lives are at a crossroads- Riley is a news anchor about to take Philadelphia by storm, while Jen is expecting her first child with her police officer husband. When Jen's husband is involved in the murder of a Black teenage boy by a fellow officer, Riley finds herself expected to cover the story- and Jen finds herself expected to answer for her husband's actions- and her own beliefs about what racism looks like.

Queenpin by Megan Abbott. Crime thriller/noir. Our nameless heroine lives a mousy existence working as a bookkeeper for a rundown local night club, but her life is turned upside down when the infamous Gloria Denton, a gun moll and smuggler, takes her under her wing. Gloria transforms her young protege from a timid girl to a sophisticated, cunning woman capable of handling gangsters, conmen, thieves, and bookies, but when she falls for the wrong man, her relationship with Gloria is strained, and they must decide just how far they can trust one another.

Everyone Knows Your Mother is a Witch by Rivka Galchen. Historical fiction. Based on the real life trial of Katharina Kepler, mother of the famed Johannes Kepler, Imperial Mathematician to the Holy Roman Empire. Katharina is a busybody, a domineering and devilishly clever woman with a particular talent for healing. She is also a fiercely loyal mother to her adult children, but when an old neighborhood grudge flares into accusations of poison and witchcraft, Katharina is determined not to meekly confess and beg pardon. The more she lashes out at her neighbors and the authorities, the more charges begin to pile up against her- despite her son's desperate attempts to save her from torture and execution.

Bury Me Deep by Megan Abbott. Crime thriller/noir. Based on a real life murder case in 1931 Phoenix Arizona. Naive and sheltered Marion Seeley is deposited in Phoenix by her disgraced doctor husband, who is forced to take a job with a mining company in South America after his medical license is revoked. Marion befriends the vivacious Louise and Ginny, two fellow nurses, who introduce her to the underground party scene in Phoenix. Politicians and businessmen flock to the secret parties held by them, and it's a quick way to make money on the side. Drawn in by the luxury and thrills, Marion falls in love with Joe Lanigan, a powerful local politician, but as their affair intensifies, her friendship with the other women fractures, culminating in a gruesome crime.

[olxwxa]

In my mind, I'm about to meet my 3rd husband's children over lunch on our yacht in the 1970's.

[lavendertitties]

Victorious cast in Thank U, Next

[unrated-g]

Here’s my submission for this year’s birthday project. Happy Golden Birthday, Liz! It’s a fake vintage movie poster for an Upper East Side Widow movie.

You can buy a print of this HERE on my Redbubble!

I’ve known for months that I wanted to do something gold theme for this year’s project, and after the Paris episode of Dynasty, I immediately wanted to use the outfit from the Louvre scene. I imagined her at yet another late husband’s funeral, wearing the brilliant gold coat and standing out against the blacks and grays and figured I’d use a more monochromatic color scheme like the first year. I didn’t use nearly as much reference or inspiration as previous years because this image has been gestating in my head for months now. But thank you to @dynastycloset​ for once again being an excellent, exhaustively thorough source for reference on the outfit.

Here’s the rough sketch with some cleaned up line art for the UESW.

Here’s the flat colored version of her with finished line art, plus the silhouettes used for the background. I kept them simple and less detailed so the image wouldn’t be too busy in the end.

Here’s the finished illustration with the foreground elements added in, the casket and the funeral spray, the shading and details on her, as well as the birdcage veil.

And here’s the poster with all of the text elements, essentially what it would have looked like brand new and clean.

[helenaklein]

this post provided the character inspiration for xenia

[lizgillies-news]

Liz has designed limited edition Upper East Side Widow merchandise! (Includes t-shirts, sweatshirts, and phone cases) You can buy yours until March 9th and a portion of the proceeds supports The Center of Arts Education.

[vamprisms]

if you don’t look like a gay pirate what! is! the! point!

[onehorseshay]

lizgillz #TBT This Murderous Bitch

[munariplans]

trust | n. romanoff

synopsis: trust is a difficult thing to come by between two very untrusting people. fortunately, a mission where one of them almost dies fixes that quite quickly.

natasha romanoff x daredevil!reader

warnings: angst | sort of graphic description of injuries

word count: 3.9k words

a/n: sidequel to what about me? this fic can be read separately or during the events of the winter soldier timeline in the earlier fic! i guess it's so tempting, and fitting, for me to write nat's love interest as daredevil. the dynamics just work so well together.

masterlist

Natasha watched the blond man in front of her knock the door once, twice, then a third. They waited for another minute, but the polished wood didn’t budge. Steve sighed in front of her, clutching his cap frustratedly, as she crossed her arms over herself. 

She knew you. She knew that if you didn’t want to be found, you couldn't be found. She knew you knew how to escape; how to disappear into thin air when you needed to. And she also knew that you were not behind the door Steve was pounding on, in the Upper East Side of New York with all the luxury and elegance she had never thought anyone was capable of owning until she met you. Because if you were behind the door, you would have heard her heartbeat, and she hoped, deep down, that you would have opened it for her.

“She’s not here. I told you.” She made a move to walk back to the lifts, but Steve, in his frustration and desperation, yelled and before she knew it, had thrown his shield down and broken the door. 

“What are you doing?!” She exclaimed, panicked. “She’s going to kill me if–”

“–If she ever comes back, you mean. If we ever find her,” Steve muttered, before heading into your apartment. It felt like a huge invasion of privacy to her, “She’s got to leave clues, breadcrumbs, somewhere, on where she’s run off to with that other Daredevil.”

She doesn’t leave breadcrumbs. She’s not like that. Natasha thought, but in the interest of her friend’s frustration, chose to swallow. 

In the end, as the both of them sat surrendered in the middle of your apartment, having found no trace of where you had hidden with Matt for the past two weeks, Natasha spat out a, “I told you so.”

Steve sighed. “We need them, Nat. They’re the only ones who’ve met…and fought…and survived Bucky. And they knew how to find him then. We need them if we’re going to stand a chance.”

Natasha thought about the last time you and Matt did survive the Winter Soldier, and about the bullet casing she saw in your helmet and the blood bleeding from your head, and she fought hard to not throw a scalding remark at Steve. 

Her eyes then travelled to the drawers underneath the stove, where your medical supplies were neatly hidden, and she was embarrassed about the move she was about to pull to get your attention. 

–

When Karen visited the office the following day, to pick up more case files to deliver to yours and Matt’s hideout, the woman screamed as she switched on the lights. There Natasha sat, suture scissors in hand, as she twirled it around and watched the body language of the woman before her. Karen watched as she gripped the scissors with determination, eyes on her, and she shut her eyes at the acceptance that the Black Widow had come to kill her, for reasons even she was unaware of. 

But a second passed, then two, then a metallic smell hit the air as Karen dared open her eyes. And then she was screaming again for a whole different reason; Natasha had stabbed the scissors onto herself, ripped it across her flesh, and stood. 

“You bring me to a hospital, and no one will believe that you didn’t stab me,” she warned, the blood loss already making her dizzy, “But you know where Matthew Murdock is. And he knows how to fix this.”

By the time she felt Karen’s arms underneath hers, and heard Steve’s motorcycle revv up below the building to follow her, Natasha’s eyelids had drooped and she had lost control of her own body. 

– 

She woke to the sound of classical music, and for a minute, Natasha worried that that damn secretary had brought her to a hospital, after all. 

But unlike the sterile coldness she was used to in her younger years, the room was warm, and welcoming. There was a fireplace in front of her, crackling quietly with the music from the turntable, the curtains were drawn, and there was someone beside her, waiting for her to wake up. She had never had anyone waiting for her in hospitals. 

For the first time in months, Natasha looked over and you were there. Your hair was slightly shorter, you were dressed in a loose T-shirt and jeans, and your quiet snores made the ends of her lips twitch. Natasha thought you looked so soft, as she internally cooed at the sight of you in something else other than your Daredevil suit or the scrubs you always greeted her with. Her chest squeezed with how much she had missed you, and how you had waited by her side for her to wake. 

She would have been content watching you sleep all day long, rest coming as difficult for the both of you, but Natasha knew you. And she knew the moment the snores softly stopped, that you were awake. 

“I can feel you staring, you know.” Natasha’s heart skipped a few beats hearing your sleepy voice. 

She let out an uncertain grin. “I know.”

You took a minute to compose yourself,  before standing up and grabbing a stethoscope by the bedside table, pressing it against her skin. She hissed at the coolness, you listened to her heart, and kept it right after. 

“It was stupid, what you did. Nearly killing yourself, just to find me, what made you think that was a good idea?” You ranted, moving up her shirt to feel for her injury. As usual, she saw the stitches you had given her; perfect even without your sight. 

Natasha’s heart beat impossibly faster, as your hands roamed her skin. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed your touch. “Because I trust you.”

You paused, and she noticed your mouth twitched the slightest bit. The air had gotten heavier ever since you woke, and the silence after her declaration did not help things. 

You lowered back her shirt, and instructed her to stay. She was unable to get up anyway, watching as you walked out of the door and called Matt. Moments later, a very annoyed-looking Matt Murdock entered the room, followed by Steve in handcuffs. She snickered at the sight of him. 

“Looks like one of us got a much better welcome than the other,” Steve quipped. 

You settled on the bed beside Natasha, while the men stood. Matt spoke first. “You two played dirty. Took advantage of her,” he nodded towards you, “To get what you want. What makes you think we’ll trust you and work with you?”

“Because we need you guys,” Steve lowered his head, “And we’re desperate. Everyone we know is trying to kill us, SHIELD’s compromised, and the world is at risk.”

“Respectfully, we’re not the Avengers, Captain,” you replied. 

“And hence why we need you. If SHIELD gets what they want, they will know both your identities, and they won’t hesitate to take you out too. Along with everyone you love, doctor.”

He was being unfair and harnessing unnecessary fear, you knew, but amongst all the heartbeats in the room, one in particular stood out as a casualty you would rather not have, because of the target on your back. 

–

When Natasha healed and was well enough to fly a Quinjet again, the four of you headed out to the location you last knew the Winter Soldier hid, Matt giving her navigation for most of the trip. The two were sat up front, while you and Steve took the backseats. 

Steve joined you as you were polishing your helmet, offering to polish his as well. 

“I’m sorry, for the way we tried to find you guys.”

You rubbed the red eye sockets harder. “You shouldn’t have done that. You should’ve stopped her. I know it was her idea.”

He looked down in embarrassment. 

“You shouldn’t have put Natasha at risk. If she had died from my own suturing scissors and if I hadn’t been there…if I hadn’t gotten to her in time…” you winced, the thought so harrowing it hurt, “...I wouldn’t have spared your life, Captain.”

“Matt says he hasn’t seen you so freaked out in all your years of being a surgeon, doctor. I’m really sorry.”

You turned your head towards Natasha, where you knew she was watching the interaction. In a voice low enough for only Steve to hear, you said, “I just couldn’t live with the thought of surviving if anything happened to her.”

–

In the old cave where death and decay were the two most dominant smells, Natasha suggested for the four of you to split up. You had thought it was a horrible idea, she had thought otherwise, and it led to the argument the two of you were having in front of Matt and Steve. 

When the group took a vote and you lost, Natasha thought to apologise by pairing herself with you, but in the spur of the moment and your anger, you spat, “You have given me no reason to trust you so far. There is no way I’m going with you.”

You stalked off to Matt, but Natasha too, was bitter. “So what, we let the two of you pair up and you abandon us the moment we split? I don’t think we trust you very much either.”

Naturally, Steve tried to ease tensions by approaching you instead, leaving Matt with a very pissed off Natasha. 

As the two of you walked, Steve, as big and intimidating as he was, seemed…afraid of you. You heard how his footsteps faltered when the gap between the two of you closed up, how his heart beat just a little faster when you turned to him to catch up. 

He gulped at a particularly annoyed tsk from you, catching up to your side.

“Is there anything you want to tell me, Captain?” You knew the words were right at the edge of his tongue. 

“Do you really not trust Natasha?”

The question caught you off-guard. Your footsteps faltered, stopping to a halt when you reached a corner of the cave. Steve kept his shield on guard, but his eyes were trained on you, and your answer.

After a few beats of awkward silence, you replied, “I trust her more than I will ever trust myself.”

He let out a soft smile, almost as if saying I knew it to you. You scoffed, following the smell the trail had led you on again, taking care to take bigger steps this time. 

“She trusts you more than she trusts anyone else too, you know,” his voice rang out, echoing through the cave walls, “You both shouldn’t let pride hinder what you really want to say to each other.”

“I’m not prideful, Captain,” you argued, momentarily leaning your head to face him, “I’m angry. I’m angry that she thought of such a foolish way to get to me, I’m angry that she hurt herself, and most of all…I’m angry at myself that I cannot say no to her. No matter what.”

Steve came closer. Strangely, you reminded him of himself, and Natasha of Bucky. The man did not know if it was because of the encounter not too long ago, with his past, but he chose to mutter, “She’s your Achilles heel.”

“Unfortunately.”

“I think you are hers, too.” At this, you let out a non-committed grunt, as if to disagree with him, and Steve shook his head, about to let out a speech about how the two of you were maddeningly never going to get together with your egos, when a loud crash, and the ceiling of the cave falling onto the both of you, stopped him. 

–

Halfway through the battle with the Winter Soldier, while Steve was knocked out at the corner of the room and you were avoiding half a dozen bullets shooting at you per second out of the opponents’ machine gun, you spotted Natasha and Matt approaching. Matt managed to disarm the soldier, breaking the gun in half, before he was grabbed and thrown to the side with Steve as well. 

The Winter Soldier spotted Natasha in the control room, opening up the cave walls to escape before the entire hideout was due to crumble too, and you sensed his heart beating faster at the sight of Steve’s fallen shield.

Before he could get to it, and to her, though, you were throwing yourself onto him, distracting him for a while longer. He managed to break your batons, before slamming you down with his cybernetic arm, your head hitting the ground harder than you expected. 

Wincing, you saw the look of horror on Natasha’s face as the soldier used his other arm to begin choking you, and how your face was quickly turning blue. No, no, don’t let her see you like this. You tried to fight him back, but Natasha was already calling out for his attention, and when the arm loosened slightly to aim at her instead, you took the opportunity to slam your head against his. There was no way you were going to let him touch Natasha. 

When Steve did wake and managed to turn the battle around, you were already heaving Matt onto your shoulder and helping him to the Quinjet. Natasha spared a look at him as she sat at the pilot’s scene, assuring you that he would be fine. 

“I know he will,” you replied. Down below, Steve was trying to disarm Bucky and get him weak enough to bring him along, but you saw no possible solution, as backup from HYDRA arrived. Steve was going to be heavily outnumbered, his hands were going to be too full with Bucky, and there was only one person who could help out. 

Natasha must have noticed it the same time you did, because her next words were, “Don’t. Please don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”

You turned your head to her again, then to the battle below. “I have to.”

“No, you don’t!” She exclaimed, tilting the jet closer, but it was of no use to Steve. “Please, don’t.”

You swallowed, shaking your head and giving her a tight-lipped smile. “I think I’ll be fine, Romanoff. Don’t you trust me?”

Her eyes began to water, suddenly realising how stupid it was to drag you on this mission. If she had just been more patient, tried to find someone else, she wouldn’t have to stand losing you at that very moment. If she had just been better, things wouldn’t have turned out like this. 

It was no use calling your name, as you free fell from the Quinjet, straight to the HYDRA soldiers.  

–

Matt Murdock was rudely slapped awake minutes later, by a very tense Natasha Romanoff. 

“You know how to fly a Quinjet, right?”

“Are you kidding?” Matt pointed, almost obviously, to his eyes. 

“It’s easy,” Natasha quickly replied, “Like riding a bike.”

Matt got up uncertainly, “Natasha, if I crash this–”

“You won’t,” she interjected, gearing up all over again, “It’ll be fine. Just like riding a bike.”

And before he knew it, she was freefalling straight down too, right after you.

–

“Natasha, she’s gone,” Steve tried to reason, his own face grey with soot and red with blood. He was holding onto an unconscious Bucky, and Natasha fought the urge to say, you can say that, because you have him. Because he’s safe with you.

Still, she clutched her bleeding side, groaning as she got up. Matt was seated on a rock not too far away, Natasha thought he was in his own world too, grieving your loss. 

“You giving up on her, too?” She breathed, walking back to the rubble. The lawyer tilted his chin to the sky then, and sighed. 

“She’s not dead,” he confirmed. Natasha was surprised he was on her side. “I was…listening. There is a faint heartbeat inside. But it’s so faint I can’t tell if it’s even hers.”

Natasha didn’t bother on listening to the latter part of his sentence, already squeezing herself into the tiniest crevice and into the cave, fuelled with only the hope that you were still alive inside. 

–

Meanwhile, underneath the mountain of rubble and debris that crushed you, you wondered if it was a blessing or curse, that you had survived at all. And for a minute, you wondered if your amplified senses then were too, a double-edged sword. If you died then, you would be able to feel yourself dying faster and harder than any normal human could, and it was a terrible feeling. 

Unable to even move your hands, you laid your head back, resigned to fate. 

It must have been a mere few minutes, but it felt like hours, when you blinked open your eyes from the sound of another heartbeat in the place. It was pumping strongly, fuelled by adrenaline and worry. And as the heartbeat came closer, the reminder of whose it was struck you. 

Natasha called out your name, her voice hoarse and raspy. Your own throat felt parched and drier than ever. 

“I’m here,” you mumbled, but it was enough. And you would never know the relief and happiness it gave Natasha, as she came tearing through the rubble. Her hands were red and raw from digging through the debris, but nothing could compare to the fear she had that you were running out of time. 

Her eyes were teary as the first cracks of light revealed your bloody and bruised face. You had half the heart to grin at the expression on her face. So worried for nothing. 

“Are you able to move?” She held your face, inspecting the gash on your forehead. 

You groaned as she tried lifting you out. “I…think so. Just a little squished here.”

She let out a dry laugh, and you grinned at the sound of it. “There’s also something else you should know.”

“Whatever it is, we can take care of it. I just need to get you out.” Natasha began to lift you again, but this time, you cried out in pain, and she let go in shock. You had never once complained, or even reacted so extremely, to pain. Natasha knew you were always much stronger than her in that aspect, always keeping your agony to yourself, but this time, to hear you elicit such a heartbreaking cry, sent her heart to the depths of her stomach.

“What is it?” She searched your face for any indication of where the pain was coming from, but you were too tired to speak. Instead, you held her hand, and slowly guided it to what was holding you down.

Years of training could not hide the despair on her face as she felt the metal beam protruding from your ribs. Natasha sucked in a breath, and muttered, “Oh god, oh god.”

“Yeah, thought you should know about that,” you chuckled, tasting the blood pooling into your mouth and dribbling out onto your chin. Natasha’s eyebrows seemed to knit, the grip on your hand tightening, as she watched the blood soak your suit. 

She began speaking into her earpiece, the words floating in and out as you lost consciousness, before her hands were back on your face. “You’re going to be alright. Help’s coming.”

Natasha watched you smile, mouth full of blood this time. “I don’t think it’ll come in time, Romanoff. You should save yourself the trouble…and pain…of watching me die. Get out of here.”

If you thought the pain on your side was not excruciating enough, the absolute heartbreak that flashed across her features and the skipping of her heartbeat definitely made the stabbing in your own heart worse. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say things like that.”

You could only nod. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

“Why did you even stay behind, you idiot?” Natasha laid her head across your chest to make sure your heart was still beating, tears soaking the suit. “Why didn’t you escape with me?”

The real reason had been because you were fighting off the last HYDRA soldier who had a sniper shot aimed right at Natasha, and who, if you did not lunge towards, would have planted a bullet straight to her head, but you did not want the Black Widow to feel even worse. Instead, you shrugged as best as you could, and said, “Guess I fell behind.”

After a few more minutes of radio silence, Natasha felt your gloved hand lay atop hers. “Hey, Romanoff?”

She looked up at you. You continued, “I’m going to take a nap for a bit, okay? The pain’s killing me.”

“No, no, no,” Natasha got up, her hands trying to shake you awake, “Come on, please don’t close your eyes. Don’t take a nap. Don’t…don’t leave me, please.”

But the pain was too much. You felt like you had no other option. So as best as you could, you moved your hands to her hair, rubbing it soothingly. “I’ll be fine. It’s just…a nap. Wake me up when they come, alright?”

In the next second, you had closed your eyes, and for a moment, everything faded away. Everything except Natasha’s heartbreaking scream throughout the cave. 

–

“That was a pretty long nap,” Came the first voice you heard amidst the blinding white lights and stench of sterility. 

“How long has it been?” You accepted the straw offered, the cool water a welcoming treat for your throat, “And don’t you have a law firm to run?”

Matt chuckled, getting up from his seat beside you. “Couple of days. Natasha’s going to be quite pissed that I’m the one here when you get up. Steve had to physically peel her off of this chair last night, wouldn’t leave your side.”

You fought hard to control the warmth spreading across your chest. “Can you call her in, then?”

–

When Natasha entered the room with much trepidation, and longing, later, she thought that all the pain of waiting in plastic chairs and anger of pushing the surgeons to prioritise your surgeries was all worth it, seeing you flash your award-winning smile at her. 

“There’s my favourite Avenger,” you called out, and she snorted, watching as you shifted yourself on the bed. Then, she watched as you patted the space you emptied. After which, she controlled herself from practically flopping to your side, instead walking over in controlled, calm strides, propping herself up to you.

Unfortunately, her resolve completely melted when you laid your head on her shoulder, muttering a thank you for saving me.

“You think I’d let my favourite doctor die?” She quipped, earning a smack on her shoulder. 

The both of you spent the rest of the day in silence, Natasha watching the television in your room, and you enjoying her presence. It was the first time the both of you rested in weeks, and secretly, it was also the most time the both of you had alone together. No words were said, and no words needed to be said for the comfort, and unsaid feelings.  Though, at the end of the night, Natasha only had one question to ask. The only one that plagued her mind. 

“Why were you so confident of falling asleep back there?” Surely you knew, as a doctor, that once you fell asleep in that state, there was an infinitely high chance you would never wake up. 

Instead, you nuzzled closer to her. “Because you made me feel safe enough to fall asleep in your arms. And I knew you’d be there when I wake, too.”

“That’s not a good reason,” Natasha rolled her eyes, pushing you for the real answer.

You could never deny her the truth. So you sighed, and replied, “Because I trust you, Romanoff.”