#Until I'm in too deep

[transparentgayprotector]

By accident of course.

It starts with a crossover that I don't notice, until I'm in too deep. I get attached to a character and or plot points I need to see the ending but the fic hasn't updated since 2012. I finish it and I'm left with a craving so I look for something similar.

I can't find it in my current fandom, I go back to the crossover boom instantly I find what I'm looking for as soon as I enter the new fandom. I get excited

I watch/read the original content.

I see deeply into these characters and the plot

I hyper fixate.

I need to know more.

I go digging, Where I discover so much about this fandom that I know nothing and everything.

Past fandom? I escaped its grasp the best I can but I'll be dragged back eventually.

I always am.

I read until I won't find any content on what I want to scratch the urge inside of me but when I do I find a crossover that I dont notice in my excitement and the process starts all over again.

Dragged into one hell after the other.

Forever

How about you?

Okay I have a follow up question from a poll I started today, which is tied into the concept of fic discoverability.

I would be fascinated to know how you normally find fics to read, and your reasoning about it, if any. Has your behaviour changed over time? What fandom are you in?

[abbeyofcyn]

*phaneang curry contains peanuts

[scourgeblooms]

it's a pepa!!! for ellie @hawkepockets! brought to you by @gw2giftexchange!!

can't believe I got to draw this little 'sura. such a good design such a good story such a good face. I hope I did Pepa justice!

sketch, lines, and some closeups under the cut!!

[silvermeww]

okay, when was someone going to tell me that

oh, idk, steven started at 19, burgh has a younger sister, clay actually isn't born american, skyla's whole fam thing and ELESA IS 15???? (even younger than skyla like wtf???)

(also the 'alder' at the bottom is supposed to be drayden lol)

and that's not all

say hello to:

viola being 18??? 'black whirlwind' korrina, RAMOS MEETING AZ'S FLOETTE AS A KID, genderfluid and apparently also age-fluid olympia, CLEMONT?? AND HIS WHOLE THING DOWN TO BEING 12 OF ALL AGES???

(you know what, marlon being 30 definitely makes sense with the hippie vibes)

wikstrom SAYING that he only wears that suit in pokemon battles but i've never seen his casual wear, malva being pr for flare lol, drasna selling dragon merch + great family lore if you want to know, siebold having to third-wheel lysandre and sycamore while eating (move aside malva, you're not the only elite 4 dealing with this) and 20?? YEARS OLD?? DIANTHA????????????

(way too many men in kalos are getting ladies, c'mon)

ethan being into history is such a neat detail hmmm, idk much of the frontier brains ngl, and we've finally got the region for looker and it's... hoenn??? you know what, makes sense with his chaotic vibes so i'll take it (throws away unova taped to a rock behind my back). also he's abolsutely cheating we all see that he's just relying on knowing us as protags, should've known smh

(um i think someone said that 'caitlin' should've been anabel but idk)

oh and the last one is charon, if we care about how much of a loser he really is. forget about birch and the poochyena, this guy is the lowest heh. imagine being charon (please don't).

(when the protags of johto are the same age as clemont lol) (yeah i know there are years between those events just let me have this)

and last but not least:

aaron 🤝 valerie: wanting to be pokemon (and ig gotta toss in shauntal with the ao3 writer gift heh, don't know if they would commission her or stay away), bertha's description???? i love flint just saying, cynthia 👀👀 is absolutely doing something illegal 👀👀, roark is WHAT??? (child labour laws in sinnoh must be lax ngl), maylene as well???? fantina watching scary movies is something i'll have to incorporate into my worldview and bryon?? are you okay??

so yeah. credit goes to @/KuroBlitz96 on the twitter/x for having this up, i'm just here to project sheer surprise at this massive dump of ages... my thoughts on pokemon have completely turned on its head once more lol (this is fine)

[caslyra]

Wolfstar AU - Werewolf rights activist Sirius Black meets Remus 'I don't want your help, I just want some quiet' Lupin.

[luna-loveboop]

Linktober day eleven- dance

Riju my baby. On a glass bottle because I like engraving on glass bottles. I love how much her fighting style looks like a dance

Riju in totk is great because if anyone deserves to be able to summon a giant dome of lightning death. It's her. Skyward sword link's not the only one who can catch lightning with his sword B)

Drawing lightning is fun. And I really should start using references for these.

:)

[gayofthefae]

Queer ships are universally different and not comparable to straight ships in ship wars because without the ship/feelings/reciprocation all characters involved would still be queer because their queerness exists and is represented in them independently from specific romantic feelings and that queerness would still deeply affect their characters' relationships to themselves.

Queer ships are not the same as straight ships because queer ships are inherently indicative of something deeper in the individual that is affects their character arc to the core and straight ships are love stories.

Basically, the queer experience and the straight experience are not the same. I feel like people should know this, and I feel like people do, so I assume they just don't realize that that's what the conversation is. But I'm not fighting for the ship. I'm fighting for the characters to be queer. Your characters were already straight. You get what I'm begging for regardless. You think we'd have equal things - love stories - taken away but you're wrong.

If two people don't get together I don't have a love story to live vicariously through anymore. If two people aren't queer I'm not in the story anymore.

Hope this helps.

[cementcornfield]

I’d love to hear your joe’marr night of natty thoughts if you ever wanted to share! 🥰

augh this is so old i'm sorry!!! but god yes i have MANY thoughts on that night.

below the cut for some rambling nonsensical (very shippy!!) thoughts about it!

so ok. it's long been my headcanon that the night of the natty would be when they first hook up, after a longgggg season of tension and hidden glances and awkward not quite flirting. like basically it would have been building for a long time whether either of them are really aware of it or not (and i doubt they'd be all that aware of it! focus on the football ya know? not on these funny feelings that i'm sure are very normal! that constant elation and adrenaline they feel around each other is just all the winning and record-breaking plays! in fact! winning and their feelings for each other are kind of completely intertwined so how can they even /start/ unpacking all that??)

so anyway! as we all know, joe gives ja'marr the game ball that night. we still don't know the EXACT circumstances (did he plan to, was it a spur of the moment thing, did ja'marr ask for it?? etc etc). we do know ja'marr joked later about not giving it back to joe lol, but i do think that WAS a joke actually. so like, obviously the whole team went out and partied/celebrated and didn't get back to the hotel until probably early in the morning, all drunk on booze and victory and each other! joe and ja'marr would have gone back to their separate rooms and ja'marr would see the game ball just sitting there where he left it on his bed before they all went out. and he can't stop thinking about the soft look on joe's face as he gave it to him. how amazing they were together that night. how it (for all he knows!) is the last time they would ever play together. and suddenly he decides that he needs to go see joe right then and there (to give the game ball back, of course, no other reason 🙂)

so he'd go knock on joe's door (who is still too pumped up on the events of the night to have fallen asleep, but he'd definitely still answer to door shirtless 🙂) and they'd just stare at each other for a moment, then joe would invite ja'marr in (because he's a gentleman) and ja'marr would try to give the ball back (because as much as he was bragging and being goofy about it before, he can't believe that joe would really be serious about ja'marr wanting to keep it. i mean. it's the GAME BALL. joe earned it, joe wanted it!)

and joe would get this serious look on his face and refuse and say that he gave it to ja'marr, that ja'marr deserves it for that game and for everything that season. everything he did for and meant to joe. (and of course what he would REALLY mean is that the ball is 10000% a symbol of his heart and his love and it all belongs to ja'marr, and it has for some time now! but obviously he can't say that because he is a Strong Stoic Football guy and probably still doesn't even realize what he means as he says it)

but i think ja'marr would understand anyway (because he has slightly higher EQ) he would get what joe meant. what everything has been building up to all season long, what joe means to him, what it's going to be like to be without him next year. and they're just looking at each other and they're drunk and vulnerable and neither one knows who makes the first move but they're suddenly making out and ja'marr drops the game ball and they don't even think about finding it until the next morning (because they are otherwise occupied 🙂)

but then the next morning! angst! because they're two dumb college kids who grew up in toxic masculine sports culture and they can NOT deal with what happened (no matter how much they 100% both enjoyed it). ja'marr would rush out of the room the next morning (NOT taking the game ball) and joe would see him trying to sneak out. they'd lock eyes for a moment and not say a word, ja'marr would leave and that would be that. but later that day, ja'marr would find the game ball back in his room. (i dont know HOW but listen joe was a god to the city of nola that day, he could probably convince the hotel staff or something. don't worry about it.) and ja'marr would see it sitting on his bed again and he'd be hungover and tired and freaking out and he would absolutely cry about it a little bit. because he's a huge cry baby and going through a lot 💔

but yeah, things would be awkward for joe and ja'marr during all the celebratory ceremonies, and then joe would graduate and go on to the draft, and ja'marr would stay in nola. and they wouldn't keep in touch at all besides a few texts in various group chats. maybe check in with each other once or twice to see how each other is dealing with like, the pandemic (hey 2020!), ja'marr might text joe congrats on being drafted number 1....and that's it!

UNTIL joe gets hurt his first season, ja'marr's sitting out his season at home in nola, and he reaches out to check on him. it's been long enough that they can both pretend they forgot about it, and they catch up a little bit. they're both lonely as joe recovers and ja'marr isn't playing, so they'd get to talking more and more. ESPECIALLY when it becomes obvious how well positioned cincy is going to be in the draft, and how high ja'marr is going to be drafted. which is when they start making plans that sound like fantasy at first but become more and more realistic, of actually playing together again! (which is how we get to joe texting ja'marr the morning of the draft telling him to have his bags packed 🥲)

of course it's awkward when they first see each other in person again. they barely think of that natty night anymore (except that they do all the time, but they're good at repressing and compartmentalizing! they're athletes!) but when they see each other in person it's hard not to remember everything that happened that night. but hey! they push past it, assume the other one isn't thinking the same things, and try to get that chemistry back (which does actually take awhile, as we all know! probably because of all the emotional baggage!) and then fast forward to their first game together in the pros (against the vikings!! with justin there!! fate fate fate!!!) and it goes so well and ja'marr gets that amazing TD that's just like all the ones they got together at LSU....and uhhh yeah. let's just say they celebrate that night too 🥲

[ravencromwell]

The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are “godlike” in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful word minunthadios , “short-lived,” is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.

--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad

[mewkwota]

Who, besides me, wants to see Maxim slowly breaking down again? There's a single shot from one scene, and then a whole comic for another because that's what I decided to do for this.

You already know what happens next, I drew it a long time ago.

[vally-vall-vall]

Hello, Forgive me for spamming your blog. I saw your pfp was tfp megatron and then realized your blog was as high quality as the pfp. 👌

My ask is whats your fave transformer and from what universe?

Ah, no worries! I'm glad to hear my blog is filled with scrumptious content! About who is my favourite tansformer. Well, it would be easier to answer who isn't my favourite ifbvkdjfv

I'm a TFP girlie through and through. Prime has been my comfort show since like 2011 and I continue to rewatch it year after year even now. I have indulged in other Transformers media, too, most notably the Bay movies, War for Cybertron, Robots in Disguise and the OG series, tho nothing would come even close to my love for TFP. I truly do think this is the best Transformers incarnation in franchise ever created.

About the fav character (aside from the obvious picks like Optimus and Megatron), this is mega hard for me because all of them are so good dfhvbihvfb. I think I could narrow it down to a few, neither is placed higher or lower than the other because I love them all for different reasons.

Ratchet. Absolutely love this grumpy old fart. He's what started my love for the "grumpy character who pretends they don't care but actually care A LOT" character archetype. He's everything I love and nothing I don't, plus I do think that Jeffrey Combs was made to be his VA in a similar way Robert Downey jr. was born to play Iron Man

Starscream. I will be honest, it actually took me some time before I started to like his character instead of just seeing him as an annoying bootlicker. I mean, he's still an annoying bootlicker, but I came to enjoy him! OG Starscream walked so TFP Starscream could run. He's all of his old traits but amplified and made better. His scheeming, cunning nature, inability to shut up to the point the show itself calls him out for it (Operation Bumblebee) but at the same time, he's a pathetic coward. A wet cat of a man, soggy af. I do think if the show came out in recent years that tumblr would have a field day with him. 10/10 I miss Starscreams like him

Smokescreen. This may or may not be a hot take because he's apparently pretty unpopular with the fandom?? At least he was in like 2012-2015 when I was most active in the fandom. I actually really do enjoy his recklessness and immaturity, it makes him feel more like a youngster that's yet to see the horrors of war. I love how quickly he grows throughout the episodes when he comes to realise their fight isn't about personal glory, it's about survival and about doing what is right. 9/10 because I hate the updated painjob he got in season 3

Miko. Also kind of a hot take, since she seems to be the least favourite among the kid trio. I gotta be honest, TFP is the only Transformers incarnation where I actually like the human companions, and Miko I love the most. She's reckless and bold and immature, like any "punk" teenager of her age would be, and I also absolutely adore the bond she has with Bulkhead.

KnockOut. My first ever experience with a character that was so violently queer-coded it rearanged by neural pathways. Loved him since his very first scene. The sass, the execution, his mad doctor persona, obsession with looks, surprisingly scheeming nature, he's just so full of personality. I also love how he's actually canonically married to BreakDown. My only gripe with the character is that I wished he was depicted to mourn BreakDown more instead of, like, just mentioning he's annoyed that he now has nobody to buff him. But also this was a pre-Steven Universe show back when queer characters weren't as prominent in kids media, so I get why it wasn't implimented. I'm still salty about it though

Arcee. Arcee I had to grow to love, and it didn't happen until several years after the show has ended. At the start, I found her to be a deeply unenjoyable character, grumpy and cold and dismissive towards everyone (and especially Jack) and not in the fun way Ratchet was. However, as I aged, I came to realise that she's not just being an asshole, she's grieving. This is one of the key reasons why I love TFP. It tackles serious topics like death and grief very well for an animated kids show that was mostly made to promote a toy brand, and Arcee's character really shines here. I deeply enjoy seeing her come out of her shell after Cliffjumper's death and slowly form a deep loving bond not only with Jack, but with everyone else too. Also how she helps Miko out with her own grief after Bulkhead gets seriously injured. You know what that is? Growth. Nothing but growth and healing for my sassy two-wheeler.

"Funny. At first I never thought I'd get used to Cliff's constant chatter. But now? Now there's nothing louder to me than the silence."

Bro, this sentence is burned into my memory. Forever. It altered my brain chemisty, I swear. Arcee and her grief over Cliff and Tailgate are so well portrayed and it makes one of the best written characters on the show and I will die on this hill!!

[passerinesoncaffeine]

the irony of one the first main things established about omori as a character is that he's known for his great memory as if he hasn't lost the entire fucking plot repeatedly for years.

like he has a great memory!! if you don't take into account He's Actually The God Of Repression.

[falderaletcetera]

listen. I don't just love father brown because I first saw it while ill with the flu or because it's consistently kind to the outcast in a way that has reviewers calling it Too Woke, obviously a vote in its favour. or because the recurring thief character is very pretty to watch. though those are significant parts of it.

I love it because after eight seasons father brown sits down with the village drunk (a munitions expert in the war, has a soft spot for the parish secretary, name of harold or blind harry) to find out why he gave a murder suspect a false alibi and harry explains to him, calm as you like, that seeing the life leave someone's eyes changes a person, that it's what he reckons brought father brown to his faith, that it's what drove him to drink, and he didn't see that shadow in the guy the police are chasing this time. and father brown, rather than justifying or correcting or dodging or doubting him, says he knows how unjust the situation is. that he got something good out of the horrors of the war. that harry really didn't.

it is not a perfect show and yes I have problems with it but gosh, this is a character who's largely used for comedic beats, albeit kindly, and a scene like this isn't out of place at all but it still takes my breath away. we could've been left with this as subtext, y'know? I hadn't even put together that his alcoholism must have been trauma. but instead harry tells us this directly, tells us it's about guilt, that that's something he shares with father brown, who is competent and so often cheerful and I can't even imagine when he was younger, and it's a moment of such unexpected humanity and respect. and it's such a strange thing to see these characters side by side like that.

the scene ends with father brown calling harry a good man, and harry denying it ("they was only young lads" "so were we, harold. so were we.") and the two them sharing a drink as father brown gets a bit watery-eyed and I'm crying too over my nice cosy 'this is a concerning number of murders for a sleepy english village' show and just. hi. what. ow.

I also haven't recovered from the episode that turned into a heist halfway through but frankly I'm only mentioning that because I don't know how to wrap up a post like this. (it was good though. there were two separate honeypots, three if you count the impromptu replacement, one character terrible at grifting and one unexpectedly great at it, and, somehow, a con within a con. it was really very fun. get a show that can do both, I guess?)

[fruit-colored-ninja]

finding cool parallels in ninjago is always like. nice! now on a scale of 1-10 i wonder how completely unintentional this was on the part of the writers

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

woke up in the middle of the night with this weird sensation like my legs had lost circulation and then regained it — that weird cold feeling, yknow? and then spent 20 minutes lying awake wondering if I was actually feeling slight prickles in the skin of the tops of my feet or if I was imagining it because I was half asleep and am a known psychosomatic symptom haver, and now I might be/probably am feeling those prickles again in my feet and legs and hands and it's really scaring me

[ariadne-mouse]

migraine day 2: the ouchening (refrain)