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gardenofhearts · 11 months ago

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Summer loving

Pairing: Benjicot Blackwood x Tully!reader

Synopsis: It seems that the boy you knew ten summers ago has turned into a man

Wordcount: 2.9k

Warnings: Fluff, fluff, pure fluff.

Author's note: A little Benji fic sparked by the summer heat. Little disclaimer that this is my first time writing for Benjicot so he will not be perfect, I tried my best and I hope you can sense that. If you have any remarks, don't hesitatie to share them, but please remember to be kind. I'm a sensitive little soul ❤️

English is not my first language, apologies for any mistakes.

Happy reading <3

‎⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ♡Masterlist♡ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

*:･ﾟ✧Let me know what you think✧*:･ﾟ

The summer of your ten and eight nameday was a sweltering one, sun beaming relentlessly in the sky, nary a cloud in sight allowing the sun to have free reign. It was simply torturous.

Your dress spun of summer wool clung to your skin, your body covered in a thin layer of glossy sweat, making you seem aglow. No matter how many times you fanned yourself with your makeshift fan of paper it had no lasting effect, for as soon as you stopped to regain strength, the heat came back with vengeance.

This summer the Gods were surely intent on killing you muttered as you sat in your family’s carriage, windows open yet they offered little reprieve.

Unlike the Targaryens who were blessed with the dragon bonds, and the ability to traverse through the air, you were earthbound to a hobbling, suffocating carriage.

Landscapes passed you by in a soft blur, the colour green dominating your vision. Your brothers sat in front of you in the vehicle, their tunic partly undone.and although they were better in the heat than you were, they were not invincible.

Their cheeks had turned rosy from heat and their curls were dark and stuck to their forehead. They were most excited for this journey, as it was a visit to Raventree Hall, ancestral home of their close friend Benjicot Blackwood.

You, on the other hand, did not share in their excitement, for you there would not be a merry reunion of old friendship. You were sent there with the sole purpose of securing a marriage alliance.

For as a Tully, it was your duty to marry well and it was equally your duty to strengthen your family’s ties. Your father and grandsire desired you to wed the young Blackwood heir to ensure you would do both. In their eyes there was much to be gained from such an alliance, for one the Blackwoods possessed a large army, with many skilled warriors. Additionally, they ruled over extensive domains with fertile ground.

If all went well, the Blackwoods would be tied to the Tully’s for a few generations and peace would prevail in the Riverlands. It was heavy burden to bare, yet you bore it well. The only upside was that you had known the Blackwood boy in your youth and he had not seemed too terrible of a husband then. You could only pray he had grown up just as well as people rumoured.

Ten summers ago you had been here once before, a young girl unburdened by duty, you remember playing in the mud with the boys. You remember climbing trees and ripping your dress, much to the anger and frustration of your mother.

It had been a summer spent watching your brothers try to beat their new friend in combat and failing miserably.

They had gotten close quite a few times, yet Benjicot Blackwood remained superior, however at age eight the clanging of swords had frightened you. No matter how often you heard it. The sharp sound hurting your still young ears. During one particular duel between your other brother, Oscar and Benjicot, you had even cried.

Hot, heavy tears of fear and anxiety had rolled down your cheeks and into your sleeves as you tried to keep them abay. The pair had quickly stopped their little match, and Oscar rushed to comfort you, turning from knight into dutiful older brother.

The Blackwood heir had looked perplexed at the scene, not expecting your brother to forfeit by prioritising you. In that moment he had seemed odd to you, even mean, for how he stood there. Not even the slightest inquiry into your wellbeing, but he was soon forgotten as Oscar guided you to a small flower patch.

His young hands were rough from sword fighting, calluses forming where there used to be soft baby skin, despite the hardness, he still managed to pluck the flowers and weave them gently into a flower crown. He told you a story of valiant knights as he did so, distracting you from tears.

At dinner later that evening you had worn the crown proudly, a bright grin on your face as you were seated. Your mother was partly frustrated by the lack of decorum but could not resist the loveliness, you were only young for so long she had whispered to your lord father.

Your father had less of a stringent nature to him, had a temper like that of a river, a true Tully. He was in possession of a calm disposition yet had a force within him that could destroy much. Your brothers were much like him you observed, same Tully hair, same Tully manners.

You, on the other hand, were much more like your mother. An uncanny resemblance your Septa had once said, yet she had also remarked you to be much wilder than her, “a rumbustious little girl,” she often called you.

Seated in a chair too tall for your feet to reach the ground, you were shocked when the young Blackwood boy entered the great hall with his hair a mess and a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand.

Some flowers had lost the majority of their petals, others had been bent and lost their uprightness, others were simply wilted yet you remembered it as the most beautiful bouquet you had ever seen. He had walked towards you, the flower arrangement held tightly in his young hands.

Once he reached where you were seated he held out the bouquet and practically shoved them into your face. “For you my lady,” he said, smiling a proud smile and you noticed he was missing one of front teeth.

You were admittedly a bit stupefied to receive such a gift so suddenly but accepted it with glee, you had always had a particular fondness for flowers. You laid the flowers in front of you and reached for your flower crown.

Gently you placed it on the black curls of Benjicot Blackwood, whose smile widened at your action, “thank you,” you said and brought the flowers back into your lap.

That night was the first night rumours of an engagement swept through the Riverlands.

Now you were here once again, sitting in that very same Great Hall, once again waiting for dinner. This time, however, you had no flower crown perched upon your head.

The Tully travelling party had arrived later in the day than expected, leaving little time for you all to wander around the castle before you were rushed into your seats.

“A guest must never go without food,” your interim host, Alysanne Blackwood had declared. Your brothers had been slightly disappointed not to be received by their childhood compatriot, yet their disappointment was soon subdued when they learned he had simply gone out to hunt. Alysanne assured them that he would be there to greet them at the welcoming feast.

It was not long after that Benjicot Blackwood made his entrance. You remembered him as a shy boy, with a gap in his front teeth from where a baby tooth had fallen out, and soft black curls.

Even though he was good with a sword, he had never been good with words.

In the short weeks you had spent at Raventree Hall, he rarely spoke directly to you and those rare times he did, he found it hard to look you in the eyes.

Now, at age twenty, it seemed his boyish shyness had gone and in its place stood a strong, confident man, lord of Raventree Hall. Your breathing increased as you continued to observe him, he had grown large, perhaps larger than Kermit, which you knew would irk him greatly considering he was older than the young Blackwood lord.

Benjicot Blackwood was surely to draw the attention of many ladies high- and lowborn, the notion of which sparked a small bout of jealousy to cross over your mind. The seeds of jealousy could not blossom however for as he entered further into the Great Hall you noticed what he held in his hands.

A bouquet of wildflowers.

You bit your lip to try in vain to stop a smile from spreading. Perhaps it was a tad conceited to imagine that bouquet to be meant for you, there had been nary any contact between the two of you.

Your respective duties busying you and decorum frowned on correspondence between a man and woman who shared neither blood or marital bond. You knew that your brothers had exchanged ravens with him throughout the years, yet knew not much of what they contained.

You assumed that it contained mention of new fighting techniques they learned, and perhaps complaints of their lessons from the Maester.

Whatever the contents might have been, you weren’t too sure if you wanted to know. You stopped your musing as you watched Benjicot walk towards you, getting closer and closer.

Before long you had hurried out from your chair, in order to curtsy before him as propriety demanded. Your Speta would have been proud, and your mother even proude,r.

Benjicot laughed as he saw you, “There is no need for such a thing amongst old friends my lady,” came his warm voice, you nodded and smiled as you met his gaze. “How good it is to see you Lady Tully,” he extended the bouquet towards you, much gentler than when he did it at age ten, “a small gift to welcome you to Raventree Hall.”

You smiled even brighter as you took the flowers into your hands, bringing them close to your face and inhaling the flowers' sweet scent. The bouquet was large, yet had seemed quite small in his hands, now that it was in your possession it could not fit in one hand alone.

You looked back up, feeling the heat of a blush creep up your cheeks. “Thank you my lord,” you said in a tone so soft, you heard your brothers giggle behind you.

He looked slightly abashed as he took in your adult form, gone were the scraped up knees and torn up dresses, your hair so messy it took your maids a great deal of effort to detangle it.

Now before him, however, stood a woman grown. A woman with a soft smile, perfectly done up hair and who was wearing a dress that perfectly complimented her eyes.

He could feel his heartbeat speed up as he committed her to his memory, she would not leave his mind any day soon, perhaps not ever.

He cleared his throat, “ I recalled that you had a fondness for flowers when you were younger,” he scratched the back of his head, causing his hair to tangle even more, “I’m pleased to see that you are still as fond.” You smiled at him, noticing a blush much like yours dusting his cheeks, “Indeed I am my lord."

A week passed by swiftly, the bouquet Benjicot had given you had been placed into a beautiful pot on your nightstand, they were there when you closed your eyes and when you opened them. You cared not that they had begun to wilt, you could not bear to part from them.

They were a daily reminder of Benji, as he so sheepishly asked you to call him that night of the feast. He had started to consume your every waking moment, and even in sleep he managed to haunt you.

During the day he would accompany you on walks through Raventree Hall and its surrounding terrain, he would sit next to you at dinner, converse with you through bites of lamb and sips of wine.

Your brothers had complained nearly the whole week of how often Benjicot’s attention had been on you, and how they have seemingly been abandoned by their old friend. You paid them no heed, content to spend every moment of your time with the raven haired boy.

It was a cooler summer day when you once again ventured into the gardens accompanied by Benji, his hands softly grazing against yours with every step you took. It took a great deal of strength for you not to grasp his hand and intertwine it with yours, to end this torture.

Yet it was not you who took the first step, his hand tentatively reached over to yours and held it in a weak grasp. You looked at him with wide eyes, and you were met with a bashful smile, “I hope this is alright,” he said as he tightened his grasp, “your hand seemed lonely.”

At that you giggled, for it had to be one of the silliest things you had ever heard, “it is quite alright Benji,” you looked to the side as you continued, “my hand was indeed feeling lonely.”

Now it was his turn to let out a soft laugh. The two of you ventured deeper, down a soft brown gravel path, surrounded by colourful flowers of various heights. It was like walking through an oasis of colours, a vision only the best painters could bring to life.

“Do you like them?” the man next to you asked, and you cocked your head in slight confusion, “the flowers, I mean. Do you like them?” You looked at him and nodded, “I like them a great deal.” An immense smile covered his face, he looked radiant like this. “I am glad, I had them planted for you.”

At that you stopped, your face the very definition of shocked. “You did what?” you asked, thinking him ridiculous for saying that. His unoccupied hand, went to scratch the back of his head, something you had noticed him doing often whenever he felt nervous or shy.

“Are you serious Benji?” You stepped closer to him, as you whispered, not wishing to draw attention from the others. He smiled at you in a way that would be the death of you, “Yes I am, I asked the gardeners to plant them after you were here ten summers ago”

You took a deep breath and looked around at the sea of colour. All this wonder and beauty for you? You could have never imagined, not even in your boldest of dreams.

“Are you not happy?” He asked, a slight furrow forming in his eyebrows, worry clouding in his eyes and his smile disappearing. “No, no,” you shook your head, “I'm incredibly happy”

You looked to him with a fond smile as an idea sprung forward in your mind. You brought his hand intertwined with yours close to you and gave the back of his a soft kiss. An action that would be considered incredibly forward, the very definition of improper, yet you pressed all those thoughts away to the back of your mind.

“Thank you Benji,” you let his hand fall back to the space between you, “I love them.” His eyes were wide, pupils blown and eyebrows raised, even his mouth stood open slightly, shock evident to all who would behold him.

You thanked The Seven that it seemed that only you were able to do so. Soon however, the shock faded, a mischievous smile crossing his face instead. He released your hand, which made you furrow your brows, yet your brows did not remain that way for long.

Large hands encircled your waist, and with one strong tug you were chest to chest with him.He looked at you, foreheads almost touching, smiling the softest smile you had ever seen.

You could see the freckles dusting his skin, and you could even press your lips into his. Your chests rose and fell in tandem, the purest sense of tranquillity falling over you.

He looked into your eyes with unbridled affection, it almost overwhelmed you too much to continue looking into them.

“Will you marry me?” he whispered, the words floating between you both. You knew, you knew before he even asked.

“Yes,” you whispered back, not hesitating for a moment. He smiled, and let his forehead touch against yours, eyes closed and posture at east. The scent of wildflowers filled your nose as he did.

That night, for the second time, rumours of an engagement swept through the Riverlands.

#house of the dragon #benjicot x reader #benjicot blackwood #benjicot blackwood x reader #benjicot blackwood fanfic #benji x reader #benji blackwood #benji blackwood x reader #benjicot blackwood x you #benji x you #benjicot x you #benji blackwood x you #house of the dragon fanfic #hotd #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd x you

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nebbyy · 1 year ago

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hello could you do headcanons smut of baldwin and his chubby wife

King Baldwin x reader - Nsfw headcanons

A/N: Wow these is the first explicit stuff I write for Baldwin!! Thank you so much for this prompt, thinking of a chubby medieval woman makes me think of all the portraits of beautiful women with the most harmonious curves I've ever seen😩😩

As always painting name is Romeo and Juliet by Frank Bernard Dicksee for my art enthusiasts :))

Warning: SMUT, reader is AFAB and uses she/her pronouns!

Unlike modern times, a fuller body has always been sign of beauty and fertility through western history

Although during medieval times anything related to attractiveness and sensuality was deemed as "bad", that still meant that a chubby woman would've been judged not for being against the beauty standard, but to be actually too tempting for the public!

So it comes without saying that young king Baldwin thought he might pass out the first time he saw you, knowing you were his betrothed

You'd awakened something in him, this burning desire to have you, to know how your soft curves would feel in his hands, how your silky skin would brush against his own

I see him having a long series of consecutive days where he woke up drenched in sweat, body slightly trembling as he'd come out of yet another wet dream about you, lying beneath him as he had his sweet way with you

He felt himself getting more and more impatient for the wedding night day to come, to finally be able to call you his

He'd also be quite insecure at first, and scared too. What if the sight of his body repulsed you? What if you wouldn't want to go near him to avoid the risk of getting the disease as well?

He wouldn't blame you for it, it'd be the wiser decision for the both of you

But still, he prays and hopes and dreams that you'd return the attraction he felt from you from the very start. He longs for the feeling of your touch against his numb body

He's a bundle of nerves during the whole ceremony, but he's good at hiding it (well the veil covering his head is); he seems to all calm down only once you're both sitting next to each other at the banquet, and you tentatively lay your soft hand over his laying on the table, shy touches blessing his skin

That night your marriage is consumed in no time, he's basically as gentle as humanly possible while he holds you in his arms, as he's slowly penetrating you

There was no really developed knowledge of foreplay or female anatomy in the middle ages, but it just felt natural for Baldwin to keep his focus on your every reactions while the two of you are making love

He doesn't know what he's doing, and neither do you considering that at that time you probably haven't even seen a naked man other than Baldwin himself, but that doesn't stop the two of you from exploring each other, taking your time to get to know what you like, what makes your eyes roll back and your back arch

I'm not sure if he'd be down for oral, I kind of see him as being a bit self conscious of the level of decay his mouth and face has reached, and I'm not too sure his cum would actually taste good with leprosy and all

Nevertheless, his fingers and cock are more than enough to bring you more pleasure than you could ever imagine

Don't expect any public stuff, Baldwin is still an extremely religious man whose values are not to be messed with: these things are meant for the privacy of your quarters alone, there's no need for him to bring this sacred thing you two have out where all eyes could possibly see

He'd probably be more on the vanilla side, being mostly against anything related to giving pain (he'd be indifferent to receiving it since his body is mainly numb, but he wouldn't enjoy it either)

Although he would probably enjoy being the more dominant one in the bedroom, the power dynamic would still remain on a pretty balanced level: you're still his beloved wife, his only equal in his eyes. That's why I could confidently say that Baldwin is the perfect example of soft dom

His favorite position would probably be missionary, just so that he could be able to see your pretty face while he pounds into you

Also because he could get to hold your plush thighs and see the delightful rolls that form on your belly

Your body screams femininity and fertility to him, an alluring combination that gets him going for as much time as you two have

His numbness also grants him a reduced sensibility, so he can afford to go more rounds at a time without having too many problems from it

But as the years pass, his mobility becomes more restricted by his declining health, and along with his agility and stamina in battle his sickness gets the best of him even in the bedroom

And through it all, his burning desire for you was what got him going, what made him spare just a little more energies to later spend with you

The two of you would have to adapt, though, probably changing positions and frequency at which you guys have sex

You might start trying to be the one on top, and he'd guide your every movement while also trying not to lose his mind over just how perfect you look riding him, your every curve bouncing as you move up and down over his cock

He dreams of giving you a baby in those moments, filling you up to the brim, seeing your body get even fuller with your conjoint love. It really saddens him to think that it might never happen

But hope is the last one to die, and he gets his hopes up every time that he comes into your welcoming body, emptying his seed into you, hoping that one day this union will give life to a creature as beautiful as its mother

#kingdom of heaven #king baldwin x reader #f!reader #headcanons #the leper king #king baldwin iv #king baldwin x you #anon request #smut #ask me anything

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trinketstreasuretrove · 4 months ago

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I keep bouncing back and forth between interests like pong

Extra thoughts/details & sketches below cut

You have no fucking idea how much thought I put into this

Kremy: Changeling that disguises as a unicorn

Gideon: Kirin

Frost: Unicorn

Gricko: Earth Pony

Torbek: Abada

Twig: Breezie

There is going to be so much rambling so fucking STRAP IN

Okay so. Changeling Kremy. I realized like 80% of the way through I coulda made him a dragon but I wanted to draw horses soooooo... :| I imagine he is CONSTANTLY changing around his cutie mark. He could theoretically give himself a normal mustache but I think the idea of him being unable to do so is stupidly funny so he still draws it on. I tried to give him twists bc I thought it'd look pretty & I don't know how I'd translate the hair people usually give him in human designs onto a horse. I'm PRAYING that it's clear enough they're supposed to be twists (ref image below)

I'll be honest I think Gideon is the one I put the least thought into. Although that's mostly because his idea was the first one I just LATCHED onto and stuck with. He's a Kirin so he still has the connection to fire and whatnot. Instead of being imprisoned by hobgoblins it'd probably be diamond dogs in this au. He does still have a beard unlike usual Kirins but it just sort of melds into his mane.

Frost was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE (heh mare) to design I'm ngl. I kept having to redo his colors and had to heavily simplify his robes (and even then I had to redraw them when I got to the coloring stage because I hated them that much). But I think he'd turned out quite pretty in the end. I didn't want to just slap stripes on a horse and just call it a day though so desgining him to look recognizable but not just look like a zebra or a weird shaped tiger was difficult. He does have the saddle bags they have in MLP to stand in for his backpack & I tried to give it a similar pattern to his waist sash he has in his splash art. Also his mane is supposed to look like this under the hood.

It's supposed to have some strands coming out the sides to resemble the stripes on his face & I really hope that comes through in the design O.O

Gricko I also admittedly didn't think too much on because his design translated surprisingly well into a pony :] It was a little difficult to figure out his mane but I think it's quite cute. Figuring out his cutie mark was stressful. I wasn't sure if I should've gone with something music or animal related so I started sketching a harmonica with like. a music sheet? coming out of it? But after messing with the shape of the "wind" coming out of the top I realised I could make it into a paw to sort of combine music and animals and I think its verrry cute :]

Torbek! Torbek! Torbek! :D I'm crazy happy w/ how Torbek came out. He translates shockingly well into pony form especially when I found out ab Abadas in MLP. The incredibly lanky proportions fit verrry well. The leg designs are supposed to reference how his (witchlight-effected) arm in his splash art turns darker towards the ends and the stripes on his chest reference the straps from the straight jacket(?) under his coat. ALSO Abadas do have a cutie mark/cutie mark equivalent design on their flank (they represent their special talent and I think Torbek's OG mark would be about climbing) but I covered up where it would be with some witchlight machinery cause I thought it was clever :] it's specifically based on this plate(?) on his back

Anddd finally Twig :] I went into her design immediately knowing she was gonna be a Breezie. I originally just kinda slapped some colors onto a basic Breezie body and added a hat but it was really boring so I added some spots and gave her colored hooves to spruce it up just a little bit. The spots also gave me the ability to give her some AJ style freckles which I think are verrry adorable. :]

PS. as a treat for reading all that heres the OG concept I sketched up in MS paint (the designs stayed mostly the same [besides color palette] but I thought Frost look too tiger-y so I changed it up a bit in the end) You get a gold star if you can make out all of my handwriting btw

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markantonys · 3 months ago

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handful of 3x07 thoughts! today was the one day a quarter i had to work in the office instead of from home, so i had to hurry out the door after finishing the episode without getting to jot anything down and thus i've probably forgotten a lot of details, plus i never have all that much to say about battle episodes or perrin storyline besides "nice, i liked it", so a good chunk of this post is spent looking ahead to potential downstream effects of changes.

full book spoilers!

first, quick notes on the episode itself:

i was SO thrilled to see bode and eldrin get an even bigger role this week. they're swiftly becoming two of my favorite minor characters and i really hope we can continue to see them in future seasons! although i'm going to have to keep mentally retconning and changing the age gap between them and mat haha mat's been Vaguely 20s the whole time and meanwhile the sisters' actresses were teeny little kids in s1, then preteens in s3, and will probably be like 16-18 by the time s4 gets filmed (if it does and if they appear in it, fingers crossed!)

following off of this, as a newly-minted bode & eldrin lover and a longtime galad hater, i am so delighted that they got to steal his beat of killing valda to avenge their mom. suck it, galad!

i need my cauthon sibling reunion in s4 so bad!!!!!! alanna is set up to take them somewhere, but not the white tower, so potentially they could peel off from perrin's story group and wind up joining mat's in s4. i pray to the light that it will be so!

i am astonished that maksim survived. all season i was like "i guess i can accept them spending what feels to me like a disproportionate amount of time on solo maksim-alanna scenes that only serve them (unlike their s1&2 scenes which also always served main characters like lan at the same time) since they are probably building up to maksim's death and showing why that pushes alanna over the edge" but no! now i'm left feeling like it was all a waste of time. but hey, maksim could still die in a future season and make the s3 stuff feel retroactively more useful; maybe they're just saving his death to happen right before the Rand Bonding to act as alanna's trigger. i hope for that route, because if alanna non-con bonds rand while maksim is still alive, i'm sure maksim would deeply disapprove of this decision and then we'd have to spend even more time on him and their relationship showing the fallout (when the primary focus of this story beat should be rand and how HE is affected; yes, theoretically it's interesting for alanna to have a surviving warder who reacts to the situation instead of it only being her and rand reacting, but i just don't think that's the best use of time what with how limited we are)

honestly i feel like that's my only criticism of the episode, that maksim has overstayed his welcome for me this season and that's now worsened by him surviving into s4 haha but otherwise i was happy with everything else in the episode!

i loved perrin and faile's scenes!!!! after seeing the trailers, i was surprised (and disappointed/hesitant) that their relationship seemed to be a faster burn than i'd expected, but it turns out that 2 brief kisses and some flirting are the extent of the romance for s3. so we're still in really early territory between them with a lot more room to grow and to deepen the relationship, which i like!

and i really really like that laila and perrin's grief & trauma from her death are being consistently addressed and respected within the budding new relationship, rather than being hastily swept under the rug as many shows would do. their little tiff over perrin being overprotective of faile because of his laila trauma and her pushing back was perfect and was exactly what i expected the long-term effects of the laila change to be. great character work! people talk a lot of shit about "perrin's fridged wife has been a completely useless change" which is kind of insane considering how much attention the show has paid to the long-term effects of this on perrin and how much care they've treated this angle of his emotional arc with. if you don't like the change, fine, but to say it's been pointless and hasn't affected anything is nonsense!

then the whole "stay behind me" "stop trying to protect-" "kill the ones i miss" exchange WOOOOOO one of the most romantic moments in the entire show to date!!!

speaking of romance (lmao) perrin and dain's dynamic continues to compel me. it's so tasty!!! very excited that it will continue next season!

the tuatha'an were used very well in this episode! it was really nice to have such a strong thematic link between this storyline and rand's, but this time with a kinder ending note by aram being warmly welcomed into a new community after being rejected by his old one like lewin was. the possibility for aram to return again is there if they want it since he'll be hanging around the two rivers, but his story was given closure and thus this can easily work as the last time we see him if they choose not to bring him back (i believe the actor has gotten a lot more well-known since the time of s1, and being able to schedule in in-demand actors for small occasional guest roles is very tricky, as we saw this season with the absence of tam)

perrin asking fain why (as ingtar advised him in s2) and ending the battle by choosing to stop fighting (as ila advised him in s1) was just so wonderful. we love full-circle moments! and perrin ending a battle by choosing to stop fighting and then agreeing to be taken captive because he'd given his word that he would, it's a beautiful illustration of who perrin is and what makes him stand out from some other more standard fantasy hero character types. perrin has always been one of the characters i'm least interested in, but the show and particularly this episode has made his character gel for me and made me feel like i Get what he's all about more effectively than the books ever did. as i like to say, in the books he's my least favorite EF5 but in the show he's my fifth favorite EF5. i was really impressed by this episode showing the culmination of some very consistent and cohesive character work across all 3 seasons!

and this is exactly why s1 and s2 are so important. s3 couldn't have soared if the prior seasons hadn't built its wings. big character moments in s3 wouldn't have hit nearly so hard if we hadn't had all the smaller "boring" character moments that built up to them in previous seasons. put some respect on s1 and 2's names!!

and finally, loial. i was distraught!!!!! i'm not much of a crier, but i was sobbing! this was probably the hardest i've ever cried while watching wotshow (though the 2x06 ending sequence and 2x08 hopper's death+hornblowing scene are close seconds) and it was only 9am and i had to immediately wipe my tears and change into work clothes and head out the door djkfjghj i was being so brave about it!

but i 100% understand why they made this choice and i think it's a good one. loial is a fan-favorite whose death will hit viewers (and his fellow characters) very hard, but he also is not plot-essential and so can be removed from the story early without it affecting anything long-term. so that's a lethal combination that makes him the perfect candidate for a show death (and we do have to be a LOT more merciless with deaths in the show because a glut of characters is a much bigger problem for TV than it is for books, as rafe mentioned in the after-episode chat). but he will be dearly, dearly missed!!!!!

(sidenote: the whole fakeout death discourse is driving me insane! "this show loves fakeout deaths, loial's obviously not actually dead" "loial's obviously not actually dead and that pisses me off because once again the show is being cheap with a fakeout death" guys. guys. if you have an ounce of media literacy, it's usually pretty obvious which deaths are real and which are "fake", and loial's death is clearly real because so much fanfare was given to it. the lengthy scene, the slow motion, the emotional music, the other characters grieving him, his book left behind, his voiceover at the end of the episode: yeah, he's gone. they would not be Doing This Much if he wasn't. especially because the show's so-called ~fakeout deaths~ have pretty much always been just "other characters think they're dead but the audience knows they aren't" or "a character went down with no fanfare during an action scene and viewers wrongly assumed they were dead despite this not being shown and then accused the show of pulling cheap tricks when they turned out to not be dead after the show never tried to make us think they were dead" or "a character is gravely injured but then gets healed within minutes because it's well-established this is a world where magic can instantly heal anyone back from the brink of death as long as a magic-user is nearby". an ACTUAL fakeout death would be moiraine going out with grand fanfare and being mourned by the other characters for many books before it's revealed she's actually alive, or mat and aviendha being straight-up unambiguously dead but then coming back to life because rand unraveled time to undo their deaths (and just watch, if/when the show does these things, readers are still going to complain about The Show Doing Too Many Fakeout Deaths lmao as if RJ wasn't the king of fakeout deaths!). all this being said, i do agree that the amount of times alanna got skewered this season only to survive stretches credibility djfkgjh i wouldn't call those fakeout deaths though, just plot armor.)

okay, now moving on to musings on how the future of the story might be affected by some of the changes we saw in 3x07!

fain has escaped. this is not a change haha but book!fain does so little of true value after the two rivers arc that i'd been expecting him to die. so him living is a surprise to me because i'm not sure what they might do with him in the future! i saw people point out that since there's an absolute fuckton of random darkfriends throughout the books, fain could be a good way to sub in for a lot of those story beats where necessary by being Our Main (Non-Channeling) Darkfriend. curious to see if he will remain a Perrin Antagonist or if he will branch out to torment mat (again) and/or rand like he does in the books. i would think that rand receiving the shadar logoth wound first in this version means there's no need for him to ever cross paths with fain, but you never know.

and what about lord luc? is he going to emerge as a major antagonist in s4, or will he turn out to be an s3-only character that was dropped in as an easter egg for readers but whose long-term role will be cut or given to someone else? if the former, they did not set up ANYTHING for him, he probably had about 2 lines the whole time and 95% of viewers will have no memory of him by s4. but maybe they had a little bit more planned for him in s3 and it just didn't fit, so they decided, why not, we'll have him here in the background for the hell of it and dive into him properly next season. i expect that tigraine's backstory might come out next season since it was teased this season but there won't be time to get into it fully, so next season would be a good time to enlarge luc's role if they do indeed plan to do so.

perrin is now dain's captive (sexy). this feels like a similar type of change as combining "perrin killed a whitecloak to avenge hopper" + "dain thinks perrin killed his dad but he didn't really" = "perrin killed dain's dad to avenge hopper". now we have "perrin offered to give himself up to the whitecloaks after the two rivers battle but didn't actually do it" + "perrin gives himself up to the whitecloaks for a trial much later on" = "perrin gives himself up to the whitecloaks for a trial after the two rivers battle". just a very smart choice of beat combination, and it gives perrin something to do during his TFOH absence!

i can think of a couple scenarios here for perrin's story path:

in s4, his captivity is a partial-season storyline, and in the back half of the season he joins up with rand and participates in dumai's wells in 4x08. in s5, he sets out on a mission on rand's behalf and faile gets kidnapped (and/or perrin and mat both go to fight the seanchan campaign with their armies, and faile gets kidnapped by the seanchan while mat winds up having to kidnap tuon for whatever reason).

in s4, perrin's captivity is a full-season storyline. dumai's wells isn't until 5x08 and perrin does something else for the earlier chunk of s5 (perhaps a time to get masema out of the way?). faile's kidnapping is s6.

i've seen a few people speculate that this upcoming storyline will be faile rescuing kidnapped perrin as a full replacement for perrin rescuing kidnapped faile, but i'd say that faile being surprise-kidnapped is different enough from perrin voluntarily giving himself up that they could remain two different storylines (time permitting). after all, i don't think that faile really CAN rescue perrin from the current situation; i would tentatively argue that since he voluntarily put himself in this situation as a way to own up to his responsibility for bornhald's death, the only way he can get out of said situation is something diplomatic like being tried and found innocent, or dain forgiving him and letting him go. faile jailbreaking perrin, while fun to see, wouldn't make thematic sense as the resolution (and perrin might refuse to be rescued anyway Because Honor).

quick note that s4 feels like a good time to bring in the wolf dream; if perrin will be spending some time locked up and unable to get up to much in the real world, that makes it the perfect time to start exploring the wolf dream while he's asleep in his (maybe metaphorical, maybe literal) jail cell.

going back to the trial idea, could we see perrin's captivity storyline move into caemlyn and cross paths with morgase and/or galad? in a scenario where dumai's wells isn't until s5, then i would hazard a guess that the caemlyn battle would be the s4 finale instead, and if perrin was already there for his trial, then he can be involved in that and be connected with rand in time for s5 (though, again, i'd be hard-pressed to think of what perrin could do for the first 3 blocks of s5, since i really feel that dumai's wells has to be block 4 of whatever season it appears in. maybe wolf dream stuff could slot in here if there isn't time for it in s4.)

another possibility is that perrin gets caught up in a surprise seanchan attack sometime in s4, the way morgase did while she was in whitecloak captivity in the books. then he would have a reason to seek out rand in s5 (in time for dumai's wells): delivering the news that the seanchan have returned.

circling back to galad and morgase. valda's death has big implications here! firstly, it makes it more likely than ever that morgase will be killed for real by rahvin (which i and many of us had already long thought the show would do). it also, maybe, takes some of the weight and teeth out of galad's whitecloak storyline, if he can't be positioned as being as big and radical of a reformer since he doesn't have valda to bounce off of as an example of the worst of the organization, particularly since dain seems sooooooomewhat primed to begin rethinking some whitecloak stuff through his interactions with perrin next season. if valda is dead and dain begins taking on the Conflicted Whitecloak role (which is still a big if at this point), what's left for galad to do over there? i don't know and i don't care because i hate galad dfjkghj

and on that wholesome note, i will end the post here!

#wot #wot book spoilers #wot show spoilers

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fazedlight · 2 years ago

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Write (supercorptober fluff)

Great idea, walking into a Luthor’s office while solarflared, Kara thought.

It’s not like she could tell Snapper “no” to interviewing Lena Luthor - she was a rookie reporter, and she needed every article assignment she could get. Besides, walking into Lena’s office while solarflared was only risky if Lena both knew who she was and intended to harm her. After their first encounter… Kara just didn’t think either was likely.

But Rao, Kara was still kicking herself. After her last battle, Alex had told her to cool it with her powers to recharge. Now Kara was going to have to explain that she solarflared after a short flight across the city. Oh well, she thought, as she walked into Lena's office. “Well, I'm glad to see you decided to give reporting a shot,” Lena said, rising from her desk as the niceties were exchanged - Kara’s bus flub thankfully went unnoticed. “Although if you're here on the same day the president is in town to sign her Alien Amnesty Act, then…”

Kara grinned. “I must be here to ask the sister of Earth's most notorious alien-hater for her take on the president's executive order.”

“I want to show you something,” Lena said, barely containing her excitement as she tugged her desk drawer open, revealing a small device inside. “It's an alien detection device - it allows humans to find out who among them is not truly one of them.”

Kara’s jaw dropped as Lena removed the device from the drawer. “W-why?”

“It’s the best of both worlds,” Lena explained. “The aliens will get the amnesty they need, and people will be able to tell who they are when they need to.”

“Don’t… don’t you think this device will force aliens back into the very shadows the president is trying to shine a light on?” Kara said weakly.

Lena furrowed her brow. “If aliens want to be citizens, that's now their right. But… if humans want to know which of their fellow citizens aren't actually one of them, then that's their right too.”

Kara’s body was screaming run. Or fly. Not that she could, when she was solarflared. But this device set a panic through her veins - what were Lena’s intentions? “How does it work?” Kara asked weakly, as her mind frantically searched for an excuse to leave.

“A simple skin test,” Lena said, pressing her thumb to the sensor for a demonstration, watching the device flash green. “This device is going to make us a fortune. Unlike my brother, I'm going to do it for the good of the world.”

The good of the world, Kara thought, eyes falling on the device. She supposed that a woman steeped in a family of lies might rebel by seeking truth. Kara could see how one could think that simply revealing truth would be good for the world…

But this woman had no idea of the danger that the truth could put people in, if not carefully concealed. They simply didn’t exist in that kind of world.

Kara’s stomach dropped as Lena held out the device for her to try, a playful smirk on the CEO’s face as she encouraged the cub reporter to test the device herself. No heat vision, Kara thought, wishing she could simply fry a wire. It would definitely be too suspicious to leave now.

But the look on Lena’s face… Kara was certain that the CEO had no idea what was about to happen. She was misguided - and hopefully that’s all she was - but Kara clung to the fact that she didn’t seem to have a clue who Kara was. She was just a woman trying to take control of a narrative, desperate to turn away from her brother’s path.

And that gave Kara hope.

As Kara pressed her thumb down on the device, she prayed her instincts were right, that the woman wasn’t the monster everyone suspected her to be.

The device beeped, and Lena stared down, confused at the bright red that flashed in front of her. In that moment, her entire demeanor shifted, as she slowly - achingly, worriedly - looked back up at Kara.

Kara watched as the emotions flit across Lena’s face, a complicated array that passed in mere seconds as Lena realized what she had done. Kara could feel the pounding in her own heart - but there was no hiding the remorse on Lena’s face.

But Lena was clever, and Kara sensed what was happening as Lena’s eyes moved from Kara’s glasses to her ponytail, the CEO mouthing flew here on a bus silently. Discovering that Kara was alien was just a small step from knowing who Kara really was.

But hope continued to bloom in Kara’s chest, as she watched the concern in Lena’s gaze. Perhaps it was foolish to trust the Luthor so early, but Kara just sensed… she wasn’t sitting across from her nemesis. Perhaps they could rewrite the narrative.

“A super, at the mercy of a Luthor,” Kara said softly, rising from her seat, proud that her voice didn’t waiver. “I should be terrified.”

Lena’s eyes darted between Kara’s, but Kara gave a small smile that she hoped conveyed I believe in you, before turning and making her way out the door. Snapper would have to get his interview another day.

Lena stood silently at her desk for a moment, staring after the reporter in confusion and awe, before a small smile crossed her own lips. Lena reached down to her phone, tapping at a couple buttons. Had Kara had her superhearing intact, perhaps she would’ve smiled at Lena’s words.

“Jess, put me through to R&D. I need to cancel a product.”

#supercorp #supercorp ficlet #supercorptober #supercorptober2023 #mel writes ficlets #write #fazedlight #fazedlightgif

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truuskn · 4 months ago

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finished rewatching wfc, here's a bunch of my random thoughts about elita (part 1)

more than anything in the world elita feared that one day if optimus will continue his journey in this way she would have to bury him. well, fate had decided to play a trick on her. she died first. she had to be buried first. prime's spark had to endure the unbearable pain of knowing what does it feel like when you and your soulmate are separated forever. she, in a way, successfully escaped from her greatest nightmare (although... actually elita believed the arc crew had died... so... she died with the thought that optimus was already dead! wow! double angst! thanks, just the way i like it)

she switches so quickly, almost immediately cuts off her phrase and changes the topic of conversation. they talked about it thousand times - she realized a long time ago that she will never be able to get through to him... the only thing she can do is just accept the inevitable and pray for primus' favour

op: what are you trying to say, elita?

elita: GO CHECK YOUR STUPID HEAD!!!

op: i can't! our show doesn't have the rights to rung. he's the only psychologist in the tf universe

elita: FUCK

ohhh, i'm going to blow up from these parallels. peak oplita. eh, if only the show was well written

i love how at the same time optimus is elita's main hope and her main grief. he greatly inspires her and greatly disappoints her at the same time. she longs to follow him, but she also longs for him to open his eyes and choose a different path. she hates how blindly he goes after what he thinks is right, disregarding her worries and disagreements, but she admires how even in the darkest of times he doesn't abandon his cause, his desperate desire to save everyone and foolish faith in a better outcome. she wants to be with him, but chooses to leave him... wow. wow

as someone who's main favs are elita and prowl, i was immensely pleased with the 2,5 scenes these two had together, haha

optimus: *says anything*

these two: *look at him with fear in their eyes, waiting for another ridiculous stupid ass thing he'll about to say this time*

optimus: *does anything*

these two: *LOUD, TIRED SIGH*

the one who is most trustworthy and most needed by the current prime inherits alpha trion protocols.... and it's bumblebee?? NOT elita-one?? really??? if this magical shit didn't know in advance that she's going to die soon then i don't understand how and why it turned out to be so. is... is elita-one not enough... for op...

i'm truly amazed at how elita didn't give up after all the horrible things that happened to them. in this show everything goes wrong. always. everything goes fucked up, destinies fall apart overnight, nothing ever works, it gets worse and worse day by day. but elita still keeps going. no matter what. and unlike optimus she puts aside self-doubt and self-pity. her goal comes first. autobots. fighting. no time for anything else. even if she wants to cry and scream and forget it all - no, never. not her. i just... oh, i wish this show had a better script, this elita was so good, but, nope, nope, no time for a really interesting story, let's better watch op whine about allspark for 20 times per episode

1s6e/2s6e <33 🥰💖🌚💐🌟

#part 1 bc there's a looot I want to say but I don't want to make it too long a post #actually i would like to make such posts about all versions of elita (and prowl) but to do this i need to rewatch and reread SO many things #with my watching speed (at least a few months on a show) apparently I'll be done next year lmao #elita one #tf elita one #transformers #maccadam #tf #tf wfc #transformers war for cybertron

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yooglefics · 1 year ago

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The casual type: 01 . The blind date

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 2,888 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ?????. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. And fuff for cute friends. Summary: Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However no one really expected things to end the way they did.

Warnings ( for this chapter ): Setting things up for plot purposes. Gridding? Mentions of a boner. Making out. Author's note: So, I wanted to write some friends with benefits thing, plus a bunch of art kids… and this came out ┐( • ֊ • )┌ . I should note here I took the creative liberty to play around with their ages so everyone is in college at the same time, and if you haven't, you can check the presentation post and learn a little bit more about them. Now let's start, hope you like it! If you do you can reblog, like, comment, send an ask, follow and what not. Thank you for reading <3

The place is quieter than the last time you were here, you realize, is earlier in the day and the semester just started after all, meaning students are still moving in from their home cities. And although you want to be mad at him, you can't really blame Hoseok's choice of place for a date, instead, you're already thinking of ways to be able to escape the awkwardness of it all.

Of course, he and Mai don't have to worry about that. Is not their first date and considering they're both dance students it actually makes sense for them to be in a club on a friday night. Is their element, unlike yours, who hasn't left their room for the last couple of weeks if it's not to go art-supply shopping and will spend even weekends far away from a place like this.

But you couldn't say no. Not to Hobi. Not after he held you tight that night and didn't pray for an explanation.

He had come up with his own conclusions, though, and that's how you ended here. On a double date with Mai and her friend who you don't even know, so... Yay! Blind date added to the mix of reasons why you already want the night to end.

"You made it!" Mai greats when the both of you get closer to the bar, standing up to hug you first and then her boyfriend. "We ordered something while waiting."

Your friend nods at the explanation, "What do you want?" He asks in your direction and you settle for a fruity cocktail to not look too out of place with everyone else drinking. Mai insists on going with Hobi and he insists you stay, so, a bit awkwardly, you take the stool besides your date.

"Yoongi, by the way." The guy simply introduces himself before taking a sip of his drink.

"Y/n" short, overthinking if bowing is too formal until you decide is too long of a pause and it would only make it more awkward. In the end, a soft smile is your decision.

"They look cute together," you say looking at your friends, trying to break the silence that has fallen between.

"Listen," Yoongi begins, and your head turns to him, "I'm only here because she asked, so if you're expecting something like that, let's just leave."

"Like that?" Brows slightly closer, "a cute relationship?"

"A relationship in general. I don't do those."

"Oh..."

And before you can say anything else, Hobi is placing a glass in front of you, smiling reassuringly. "You'd be okay if I go dance now?"

A pause and then a nod is the answer. Not having any intentions of spoiling their night.

"Don't worry. Yoongi," Mai turns to him, a serious expression on her soft features, "you better take care of her, alright?"

He salutes, earning a smile from the couple and they walk to the dance floor hand in hand. You watch them make some silly moves at first and giggle, but it doesn't take long before they start to follow the beat and match it with their movements.

"I don't want a relationship either," you clarify, tone assertive, still looking at the couple with a smile.

He laughs, "I'm sorry, but that's hard to believe."

"Why?"

"Look at me and tell me you didn't just imagine yourself with someone on that dance floor."

You turn to him, brown eyes inspecting yours, "Well, yes. But that doesn't mean I want it to happen with someone I'm in a relationship with."

Again, he laughs. Clearly not believing you.

"What? People do casual things all the time," you defend, straightening your back and looking away.

"You do 'casual things'?" His eyebrows raise, "all the time?"

"Shut up, you don't know me."

"That's a no," no need to look at him to know there's a smirk playing on his lips.

"Who are you? Some kind of hook up police or something?" You want to take it back as soon as it leaves your mouth, cringing.

"Are you gonna show me your license?" but he is faster.

"Okay, that was more lame than what I said," you laugh. Maybe he is not as grumpy as he seems. And maybe, just maybe, you would be able to enjoy the night after all.

If he doesn't want a relationship either, then you don't have to deal with rejecting him or being forced to accept a second date just because you're too kind to say no. That's good.

"Yoongi, hey!" A guy calls out and for a split second your date's expression changes to a surprise one before a polite smile takes place on his face. "Oh, hi. Sorry for interrupting, haven't seen him in months."

"Is alright," you play along even when not understanding.

"I guess he has been busy with yo—"

"Jay," Yoongi's tone is serious, like the one he used to say he doesn't do relationships. However, before he can continue or you are able to clarify that you two just meet, Jay is calling someone over.

"Look who I found, love. Yoongi!"

A redhead girl repeats Yoongi's early expression and you wonder two things about Jay. One: if he always has that effect on people. And two: if he is even more clueless than you in this whole situation, since his smile never falls.

"Hi," the redhead says and Yoongi greets back just as plain.

Are you really imagining the awkwardness? Perhaps you were wrong and in the end you should put one of your plans to avoid it into place?

A few seconds of thinking go by, no one says anything and you could swear the tension is filling the air around your new group.

"Oh, that's the song!" Fake excitement in your voice tricks everyone into looking at you. "I promise, remember? If it comes on, we'll dance."

Yoongi looks confused for a second, but it doesn't take him long to finally understand, "right, the song. Sorry guys, been waiting all night."

Jay dismisses him smiling with a pat on the back, saying something about not breaking promises and Yoongi takes your hand.

Looking around, you try to find your friends, hoping to copy Mai's moves and keep up with the plan even when you're a self proclaimed not dancer. But they aren't in sight and even if you can't really prove it since your back is facing them, you feel like Jay's and the girl's eyes are on you.

Ugh. Why did you use this plan?

Why was this something you even thought about?

When Yoongi stops and positions himself in front of you, you get closer, sliding an arm on top of his shoulders pretending you're positioning yourself to dance, copying the random couple beside you.

"I don't know what I'm doing," you confess in a whisper.

"What do you mean?” He looks for your eyes, hair strain coming out of place when his head lowers a little, "you want to go back and sit down?"

"No, then they would know I lied," you're still trying to figure out why in the first place and don't need the embarrassment too, "but I don't know how to dance."

He chuckles, "here, I'll help." And holds your hips softly, moving them to the beat of the song, matching your movements with his own. "Relax. Don't think too much about it."

"If I don't, how do I know how to move?" It doesn't make sense and is a bit frustrating, honestly.

"Is not a dance competition, or the grant ball, princess. Just do what feels right."

He catches you looking at your feet and brings you closer, eliminating the gap between your bodies completely. "Don't do that," one of his hands travels to the small of your back, keeping you in place.

"Sorry," you say against his neck. Not intentionally, but because of your height difference, there's no other option. In an effort to not be so dependent on him, both your arms move around his neck and you try to move your hips in a way that in the end doesn't match his movements completely, causing you to bum into his front. He makes a sound that you assume is a complaint at your skills and another apology rolls through your lips.

"Turn around," Yoongi commands, applying pressure to one side of your hip.

You comply, confused even when you feel his hands on your waist. "Well, I'm going to assume you been fucked before, miss casual all the time," with his chest against your back, you can feel his laugh. "Open your legs a little," one of his feets kicks gently between yours, fixing your stand. "You want to lead or should I?"

"...You." Is the safest, you decide. Your turn to assume he surpasses your experience at that too.

“Some describe dancing like a good fuck," he explains, hands softly making their way a bit lower to your hips, "because you have to learn your partner. Find a rhythm together." His movements start slow, moving your body with his from side to side, with small circles of the hips.

Your hands fall on top of his, not knowing what else to do with them. They're soft, which for some reason is unexpected.

"I have dancer friends and they never described it like that..."

"Not to you, probably," he laughs and when you stop the movements to throw an angry look his way — because you're pretty sure that's some kind of insult,— he chuckles, before continuing the swaying of your hips. "Calm down, princess. I meant, they probably just weren't teaching you this kind of dance."

And that makes sense. You can't imagine dancing with your friends like this. You can barely believe you're doing it with a stranger.

Your shyness must have shown, because his next question is why did you even choose this song.

"I was trying to help and get you away from whatever that was," you lift your head, eyes away from your feet and the color lights projecting on the floor, and sure enough, behind red bangs, the girl is looking in your direction.

Your hips halt.

Yoongi catches up a bit too late, bumping his pelvis into you.

"What ar—"

"She is looking." Cutting him off, you want to hide as if you were the one caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. So, you try to turn around on his arms but his hold is firm.

A new song starts, the rhythm not much different.

"Help me with another song?"

You try again, this time using your hands on top of his to soften the grip. He gives in. And after a look at his face, you nod.

You can decide if it's sadness or anger that you see, not knowing him well enough to tell — or at all, to be honest — but either way, there's a part of you that can relate. One for each emotion.

Throwing your hair back, letting all black strands fall over your back, your arms go back over his shoulders, this time your chest flush against him a little more than last.

Yoongi says thanks and you kiss his cheek as his hands hold you again. His movements are more determined and even his fingers form dents over the fabric of your dress.

Assuming his demeanor changed only for the specific viewer doesn't sound too crazy, and you want to confirm the theory by looking at his face, see if he is looking behind you at her. Your eyes travel against the direction the few sweat drops over his skin go, and when they reach Yoongi's, he is looking back at you.

Your body stops.

"Fuck" he whispers when the front of his pelvis bumps yours. "You really need to stop doing that."

"Sorry. Told you I can't dance."

He chuckles.

Your bottom lip forms a small pout. "Don't be mean. I'm trying to help you, remember?" And you initiate the movements again, starting to get the hang of it. Kind of.

"You're not much help right now if you keep making me dry hump into you," this time he is the one stopping, making it so you bump into his front and you can feel the outline of his growing erection.

"Yoo—"

"Exactly," he says so matter of fact, "you're the mean one."

Lowering your head, you try to not think too much about it. It doesn't make you want to run away or kick him, but you also don't want to make him feel like kicking you away. You keep repeating to yourself that is normal with this type of dance, that there's probably more than one hard on at the club right now and how you're probably not the only one who is getting we—

Damn it. Just stop thinking about it.

Yoongi stops your body from moving, and when you realize he has been calling your name, you're even more embarrassed by your thoughts.

"I'm sorry. That was too much, I shouldn't have. We can go sit now." His eyes are looking straight at you, letting you know he's being sincere.

"I need some air."

Without even bothering to wait for a confirmation that he is following or not, you make your way to the side door of the club. The autumn breeze hits your skin as soon as you step into the alley, instantly calming your hormones down.

Hands cover your face in shame after reclining on the wall. Can you stop acting like it was the first time you felt a penies? Because even if it hasn't happened in a while, it doesn't mean the score goes back to zero.

"Should I bring Hoseok?" Yoongi asks a few steps in front of you and you jump a little, shaking your head after.

"I'm good. You can go back in."

"I'm not leaving you alone here. Do you want him or Mai to kill me?"

A small chuckle leaves your throat and one from him follows it.

"And you think he wouldn't kill you for—" stop. You can't think about it.

"For dancing like that with you? Probably. But he also set this date up, so..." Out of the corner of your eye you can see him shrug, "can't complain unless you hate me now."

"I don't hate you."

"Is okay if you do."

"It… it just surprised me."

"In a bad or good way?"

"A good one." You answer directly in a strain of honesty.

"So you're not really the casual type, uh?" He teases after a couple seconds of silence.

"Maybe I just don't like doing casual in the middle of the club," you defend.

"I don't know, you were the one that kept humping into me."

Your mouth opens and closes, finally looking at him and his stupid lips pull up in a smirk. You want to erase it so bad.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

And you do.

Skipping forward, right hand flying to the back of his neck to pull him in and you're able to touch his lips with yours.

He is quick to react. Kissing you back, his hands on either side of your waist pulling your body into his. But you're trying to prove a point, to defend yourself. So, you pull away slightly, making sure your lips are just about to touch.

He pulls in.

Allowing just a peck, you move.

You kind of regret not using your cherry lip gloss, because you know for sure that knowing you're so close for him to smell it but not taste it, would be the biggest tease.

You let him lean in again, not moving this time and he sighs. You smile against his lips just before his tongue asks for permission to enter your mouth. Again, you regret your simple choice of a simple red lip tint, but remind yourself that this date wasn't supposed to go like this. That Yoongi doesn't seem like the guy he was supposed to be, not what he was advertised by your friends.

Fighting back control, your left arm joins the other around his neck, moving your lips expertly and feeling his chest rise and fall quickly against yours. Is pretty much the position you were in on the dance floor minus the grinding.

Casual in the middle of the club is not your thing. Casual in general is actually not something you have experience with. But kissing? You've mastered it thanks to your past relationships and the avoidance of jumping into someone's bed right from the start.

A moan vibrates through your lips against Yoongi's, and even if it's part of the routine, you must admit is pretty real. A soft groan is his answer and the cue for your heels to touch the floor again. His hold tightens in reaction, making your dress rise up and covering a couple inches less of your thighs. Suddenly you're aware of the wind again as a breeze runs up your legs, towards the center of your panties.

Your breath caughts on your throat and Yoongi swallows any sounds before pulling away.

"Fuck," he breaths heavily, "we've to stop."

"Why? Are you not really the casual type?" You tease, stealing his line.

The left corner of his mouth lifts, before falling again in a millisecond. "Not with you."

Should I’ve added “cliffhanger” to the warnings? haha i swear is gonna be okayyyy ♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland . hope you guys like this one <3

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redd-blushing-roses · 10 days ago

Text

Lies About You (It's Fear Pt. 2)

word count: 5.7k

pairing: (winter soldier)Bucky Barnes x Reader

summary: as your plan to take down HYDRA begins to play out, the consequences of your insubordination begins to weigh on you. The Winter Soldier's relationship to you is twisted and strange, but now more than ever you have to work to free him.

warnings: violence, abuse, Rumlow and Pierce being evil as always, a bit of angst. there isn't too much of Bucky in this one (just as a heads up. But stay tuned for the next part! It's pretty much all Winter Soldier centric)

notes: you guysss. it's finally finished! this covers part of the first half of the 'winter soldier', although the blocking of some scenes are different to accommodate adding another person into the mix (and also, I don't like copying a movie beat for beat). I have another part coming out tomorrow and then I will be writing some more. I'm aiming for four parts in total, but maybe five for better pacing (no promises ;))

the first part is linked here if you'd like to read it (It's Fear Pt.1)

enjoy reading :)

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It’s cold beneath your bullet proof vest, the dark wind of the open sea biting your cheeks and blowing through your hair. You hold onto the ledge above you, leaning out of the large SHIELD chopper as it inches toward the ship bobbing in the waters below.

You catch a glimpse of red beside you, Natasha’s face coming into your peripheral.

“Nice night for a swim, huh?” Her voice playful, nudging you with her shoulder. “Think if you miss the boat our Captain here will save you?” You smile.

“I don’t know, maybe I should find out.”

You both turn to look behind you at Steve, his face serious as he tightens his gloves.

“She’s not one to miss her shot Natasha.” Natasha turns and folds her arms, smirking.

“Unlike you. How many girls have you missed the chance to ask out?” Steve rolls his eyes, though you can see he’s enjoying her jest despite his protest.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Come on, any girl you ask out would be at your whims. You’re Captain America!” Natasha gestures at him.

You nod in agreement, carefully moving from the open door to the weapons rack, fingers sliding over each gun until they land on a small pistol. That feels right. You slide it into your thigh holster.

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

“What, too scared? Shy?” Steve moves past Natasha as the STRIKE team assembles in a huddle.

“Too busy.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and stands on the other side of the huddle, raising her eyebrows at you as Steve takes his place beside you, arms crossed.

“Is she always like this?” He whispers.

“Usually. But if you ask me, she’s just deflecting. She’d rather push you away than ask you out herself.”

Steve makes a face, opening his mouth to protest when he’s cut off, Rumlow entering the huddle by Natasha.

Your hands clench besides you and you have to keep your face neutral. It was easier to be in the same room with him knowing you weren’t alone. Steve and Natasha were always a comforting presence.

But you couldn’t help but feel like a sheep in a wolf’s den. Rumlow was always watching you, waiting for you to make a wrong move.

In fact, he had made sure to pull you aside in SHIELD’s hanger, whispering in your ear threats of what would happen should you compromise this mission.

“The only thing left for you to do is pray your Winter Soldier has any ounce of pity on you.”

An impossible feat considering he didn’t remember you. Pierce had made sure to keep you both separated after the last mission, keeping Rumlow watching you like a hawk.

Pierce had made up some excuse about how the Soldier was needed elsewhere and your “project” with Steve Rogers needed to be a priority. But you suspected he was growing suspicious of you.

You had begun to follow Steve around like a lost puppy, taking him to the Smithsonian, the Monuments and various coffee shops he all said were overly loud and served too sweet coffee.

Pierce had at first presumed you were following his orders, finally dedicating yourself to HYDRA. But then you had visited the Winter Soldier without permission.

You hadn’t done anything, hadn’t said anything to the Soldier. You just wanted him to see you. To recognize you. To make sure they hadn’t left him to rot in the cell.

And you also wanted to see if it was true.

If the Winter Soldier wasn’t just a nameless face to you anymore.

If he really was the ghost you thought he was.

James Buchanan Barnes.

Captain America’s best friend, thought long dead.

When you had taken Steve to the Smithsonian, it had been your first time visiting his exhibit. Steve hadn’t even known about it.

“Fury didn’t tell you about this?”

“Fury doesn’t tell me a lot of things.”

You had laughed watching Steve try to avoid the gazes of the crowd, pulling his hat lower over his face as you moved from display to display, his face and name plastered on posters and placards.

And then the smile on your face had fallen, the large sip of coffee practically choking you as you stared into the eyes of the Winter Soldier.

Only they weren’t the same eyes. The man on the display had more life in him than you had ever seen in the Soldier. As you had stared at the display of James Barnes, you realized this changed everything.

There was a man behind the killing machine. Someone real, tangible. Caged. Trapped.

You just needed the right key.

And it was all the more reason you doubled down on your mission to befriend Cap-

Rumlow’s voice jogs you out of your thoughts.

“Alright gentlemen. Ladies”, he nods at Natasha and you. You look away. “We go fast, we go hard. In and out. Nothing we haven’t done before; a simple hostage extraction mission.”

He goes over the plan. Steve would touch base first, followed by the STRIKE Team, Natasha and you after he gave the all clear.

As they took care of the hostages, it was supposed to be your job to access the upper level of the ship, taking out any other pirates who may have straggled from their posts.

At least that was what Rumlow had told the group.

You weren’t looking forward to having to face the Pirates.

As Rumlow finishes up, Steve leans over to you.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” he whispers.

“What?” you whisper back. His finger taps your hand, balled into a fist at your side.

“I know you don’t particularly like fighting.”

“Oh.” You unclench your fists, bringing your hands up to your elbows, crossing your arm.

“Thanks but I think I’ll be okay.”

“Well, I’ll be just an earpiece away. Rumlow too.” You nod, eyes distant as he says the man’s name. You’d rather get yourself killed than ask Rumlow for help.

You look up and see Rumlow watching the two of you, as he concludes, a look of satisfaction on his face.

“Thanks Steve.”

He smiles and settles his helmet on his head. As the huddle disperses Natasha moves towards you, holding back a frown.

“What’s that about?”

“Nothing. Why, you jealous?”

“No.” She looks away, pulling out her gun and checking the cartridge.

“Liar.”

Natasha just rolls her eyes and grabs a parachute, sticking her tongue out at you as she moves over to Steve.

You shake your head, sliding on your own parachute pack, trying to pretend like your hands weren’t fumbling with the clips. You can feel Rumlow breathing down your back.

Rumlow fiddles with his own parachute, closing in on you until he’s standing right next to you.

“You know your job?” He says it in a low voice, barely above a whisper.

You try to ignore how his voice raises the hairs on your arms. You nod.

“Clear the top level, wait for your signal and head down to delete the information for Pierce.”

He nods and leans in closer to you, his breath hot against your ear.

“Be a good girl now. No funny business.” You look him in the eye, raising your brows with emphasis.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

As you move to look away, Rumlow grabs your face, pulling it back to look at him. The move is subtle enough to look like he’s encouraging you, but painful enough to remind you that you were on HYDRA’s time right now.

“I mean it. Don’t think Pierce won’t wipe him again and send him after you.” Your eyes widen. Wipe him again…

They didn’t just wipe him every few days; the process was too strenuous on both his body and on the machine. If they had wiped him again,

“He remembered-”

“Don’t let it get to your head Myshka.” He squeezes his fingers and lets you go, leaving your teeth burning from the pressure, your cheeks aching.

The Winter Soldier had remembered. You didn’t have the time to think about what that meant.

Natasha was already coming by your side, her eyes laced with concern.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing,” you look away, watching as Steve jumps out of the chopper. “Just getting the boss’s orders.”

------------------------------------------------------

The moment your feet land on the ship, quiet and quick, you rip off your parachute and pad up the stairs. You nod to Natasha as she runs in the opposite direction, down into the long corridor of the ship’s interior.

The pirates, the ones who currently had multiple SHIELD (HYDRA) members hostage, were scattered at the top deck of the ship.

To be honest, you weren’t sure Fury would believe you- well he didn’t know it was you.

A week ago you’d sent him an email, anonymous and untraceable, with implications that Project Insight wasn’t all he presumed it to be.

It had been a long shot, but knowing the distrustful nature of the SHIELD Director, he was the only one you could rely on to dig into it. You had expected him to send Natasha after the info, maybe Cap as well.

Why he staged a pirate coup and hostage situation to get the information?

You could only guess. The man had a thing for theatrics.

Which was fine. It kept the STRIKE team busy.

You crouch, peering over the top of the stairs at the pirates gathered on the deck. There were two right above you, one large and burly, covered in tattoos. The other was lean and tall, a scar running across the top of his bald head.

They both cradled machine guns and you could see multiple knives strapped across their chests. They talked quietly in French and a third man came into view from afar, gesturing to the two.

Three total. Maybe five; you could hear voices from across the deck, behind the pipes and captain’s house, which were blocking your view.

Fighting wasn’t your strong suit, although Natasha once said you packed a powerful punch.

“You know, if you really put your mind to it, you’d be able to kill someone with a swift kick to the jaw.”

You had held your tongue when she told you that.

You’ve seen enough killing to last a lifetime. People you’ve helped track down, target’s you’ve accompanied the Winter Soldier on. You wouldn’t want to make your own contributions to that long list.

All that death you’d seen. All the fighting. All the lies.

All for the glory of reshaping the future. A future where HYDRA thrives.

And they would if you didn’t do something.

You reach for the pocket at the back of your belt, gently removing three tranquilizer disks- a Stark invention; small, round disks the size of a checker piece. They were able to latch onto the skin with a suction grip and upon pressing a button, injected enough drugs into the person’s system to knock out a black bear.

They were discreet. Useful.

More covert than using a gun. Although the pistol strapped to your thigh remains slightly pulled out, the safety already off.

The three men are now congregated further in on the deck, and you sneak up onto the top of the stairs, skirting around a pipe and taking care to remain in the shadows.

The closest man, the one with the tattoos is right in front of you. You throw a disk at the back of his exposed arm, the disk latching on. Even as the Pirate’s hand swipes at it, as if he’s swatting away a bug, it doesn't budge.

You hear him grumbling. The third pirate, with an earring dangling from his left side, dreads falling into his face, laughs and takes out a knife, flipping it.

You creep closer to the second pirate, throwing another disk with perfect aim, this one landing on the top of his bald head.

He turns around with annoyance, scratching his head. His eyes flit from the stairs to the pipe you’re crouched behind, searching the shadows and darkness.

Your earpiece crackles, Steve’s voice echoing your name too loud for your liking.

“Is the top deck clear?” You don’t answer, too focused on not making a sound, hiding behind the pipe.

The pirate stares for a moment too long, and you turn around too soon, his eyes locking with yours as you peek from behind the pipe.

“Hey-”

You leap, shoving your body into his legs, knocking him down. With quick movement, you throw the last dart at the third pirate, the disk latching onto his head with a pop.

You roll off the lean man as the other pirate throws his knife at you, the blade lodging itself into the deck. His fingers try to rip off the disk from his forehead, but it’s no use. Stark had designed the suction grip after octopus’ suckers; the disk wasn’t going anywhere.

You're on your knee, taking out the dart’s activator, finger moving to press the button to inject the pirates when the burly one pulls you up by the vest, throwing you across the deck.

You yelp, back cracking as you hit the pipe with force.

“Ow,” you groan.

The activator has been thrown from your hands, and you see it lying off to the side. The three pirates are now inching towards you and you scramble despite the pain, diving for the activator as the lean pirate closes in.

You dodge him and grab the activator, finger quickly pressing the button. Each disk lights up red, the pirates all falling with a loud thud, the drugs pulling them into a deep sleep.

You pant, slipping the activator in your pocket as you hear shouting.

“What’s going on,” two more pirates move in from the other side of the deck. You jump over one of the pirates you’ve sedated, their bodies splayed out on the deck. Now it was just the last two.

One of the new pirates swings and you dodge, crouching down and punching his knee. You roll away as he grunts in pain, attempting to grab you.

Your legs push out to kick him down when his friend grabs your pant leg, lifting you upside down.

You grunt in pain, sweating as the blood rushes to your head.

Your comm crackles, a voice saying your name again, but you miss who’s speaking.

The pirate’s fist makes contact with your gut, sharp pain blossoming up your side and across your ribs as he punches you twice more. You start swinging your body, using all your energy and momentum to throw yourself upright, leg wrapping around his neck.

A move the Winter Soldier had shown you.

You try to ignore the pain of your leg, twisted uncomfortably by your new position. As you fumble for another disk, the other guard grabs your arm, leaving you trapped.

You pant, trying to free your wrist when you hear the soft sound of a sniper gun, two bullets whizzing past you. You're thrown off the Pirate as his head is blown back, the other falling to the ground in succession.

You look up to see Rumlow, his gun lowering at the top of the stairs. He pushes his earpiece, calling out the top deck as clear.

“You didn’t call for help,” he cocks his head. You glare.

“Well, your track record in protecting me isn’t great.” He moves closer, holding out his hand to help you up. You swat it away, pushing yourself up with a groan, hand supporting your side. Rumlow just shakes his head.

“I don’t care if you get hurt. Hell, you can break as many ribs as you’d like,” He presses into your side, fingers digging into your vest. You hiss and move away. But Rumlow moves closer, eyes like daggers as he stares at you. “I just care if you’re dead. Can’t have Pierce’s favorite toy die on my watch.” You shake your head.

“I hate you.”

“You can hate me later,” he presses a flash drive into your hand. “You have a job to do first.”

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Pierce is furious. You can tell from the moment you exit the elevator into the basement; Rumlow follows you out, his boots loud against the floor. You hadn’t expected him to pin it on you so quickly. It had barely been two days since the mission.

Pierce stands in the hall, his arms crossed, brows furrowed.

“You want to tell me why Fury is questioning Project Insight?”

You stop just in front of him, fingers pulling at a thread on the sleeve of your sweater. You weren’t even given time to change; Rumlow had knocked at your apartment door in the early hours of the morning and grabbed your arm, hauling you into a car.

You stare blankly at Pierce’s chest- not his face, never his face.

“Why would I know that information Mr. Pierce? Fury isn’t my boss-” “No. I am.” He leans down, his eyes meeting yours. You mentally curse. He really was pissed. “And it seems you can’t be bothered to follow my orders.”

Rumlow shifts besides you, and from the corner of your eye you can see him biting his cheek. He must have gotten chewed out too.

“Sir, how was she to know Romanoff had been sent to collect the information? If we had any idea, we would have moved her to the second stage of the plan faster. Forgo the theatric cover.”

Your eyes dart to the floor. Rumlow was only covering for you because he wanted to save himself from repercussions.

Although he was higher up on the food chain than you, you had seen Rumlow get his fair share of punishment. He had the scars on his neck to prove even he wasn't free from HYDRA's hell.

“I didn’t know what Natasha was going to do sir.” And it’s the truth. Sitting in the hull of the ship, setting the computer data to self destruct, you had hoped Natasha would come in time to download the information before it was lost to the abyss of the internet.

And when she saw you leaving the computer room, her face darkening with question, you had shaken your head, telling her it would have to wait.

She had to trust you.

Hard to do for a spy with trust issues.

And because your statement was the truth, half of it at least, Pierce seemed to believe you. They always did. You found gathering information wasn’t really about hiding and trying to catch someone giving things away. It was all about trust.

“Alright. I’ll tell you what’s going to happen now. You’re going to stay away from Romanoff. You’re going to stay away from Fury. Don’t talk, don’t engage. Focus on Steve Rogers and making sure he doesn’t get word of any of this.”

You flex your hand, eyes shifting worriedly.

“What?” Pierce glares at you.

“Well, I think he already suspects something.”

Pierce sighs, running a hand down his face.

“Fine. Keep him distracted and away from Fury.” A man in a lab coat comes up from a room down the hall and whispers in Pierce’s ear. Pierce nods and pats the man on the shoulder, whispering back.

“Hail Hydra.” “Hail Hydra.”

They part ways, and Pierce turns back to you and Rumlow.

“How do the two of you feel about a little show before you go?” He smiles in an eerie manner; white, perfect teeth stretch wide, but his eyes remain dull and dark.

You look at Rumlow who looks just as confused as you are. But he doesn’t say anything. He just follows Pierce as the man makes his way up the hall, waving his hand for you to follow. Rumlow wears a look that indicates he doesn’t want you making any more trouble for him.

You step into the room and feel a wave of dread. Doctors are milling about the floor, a large machine on the wall, and a chair beside the blinking machine. Pierce is standing one side of the room and gestures for both you and Rumlow to join him.

“Care to explain what we’re doing today, Doctor Petrov?”

A tall, skinny man looks up from his clipboard, adjusting his glasses.

“Of course. We’re conducting tests to see how the new mind wiping program affects the brain.” Your stomach drops, your eyes growing wide as multiple guards file into the room, the Winter Soldier marched alongside them.

The Soldier looks at you, his eyes on your face a moment longer than they should be, before he turns, tensing as he sees the machine. He stops and the guards have to push him forward, forcing him into the chair.

“I thought you said you couldn’t wipe him successively?” you question Pierce.

He smiles at you, arms crossed with ugly satisfaction.

“We’re testing a little theory I have today. One you’ll find very interesting, I’m sure.”

Rumlow scratches his cheek as he looks at the Winter Soldier. He leans down to whisper to you as the doctors fuss over the Soldier, checking his vitals and prepping him for the machine.

“You would think he wouldn't have anything left in that brain after being melted so many times. And yet did you notice how he looked at you?”

You glare at Rumlow.

“That’s because unlike you, he’s forced to be a weapon for HYDRA,” you spit out. Rumlow shrugs.

“Maybe. We’ll see if they finally manage to erase you from his brain.” You don’t want to think about that.

Pierce claps his hands, rubbing them together with anticipation, as if he was about to order a hot dog or settle in for a baseball game.

“Alright. Let’s begin with the first test, shall we?” The doctors nod, yelling something in a foreign language, and they all back away from the Winter Soldier.

The guards are on you before you can even blink, large hands grabbing you by the arms and putting you into a headlock. You try to break out of it, but it’s no use. Whoever has you is too strong, and your energy quickly dwindles as a gun is pointed against your temple.

Rumlow asks what is going on, but Pierce raises a hand to silence him.

“Don’t worry. We’re just running an experiment here.” Pierce looks at the Winter Soldier who is sitting glaring at the guard holding you.

If looks could kill…

“What are you going to do, Soldat?” Pierce’s voice rings out in the room, egging him on. The Soldier remains motionless, only his eyes darting between the gun at your head and your face.

You try to shake your head, trying to tell him not to give in, but the guard presses the gun harder into the side of your head. You wince as the cold metal digs into your skin.

Pierce sighs, snapping his fingers and giving the guard a cold look. You feel the guard move his position and he shifts you so your arms are now trapped in his, the front of your body fully exposed with no way to protect yourself.

Pierce takes a gun from one of the guards and hands it to Rumlow. He does it as if he’s handing off a drink, bored and tired; as if he’s going through the motions of a disappointing round of golf.

“Hit her.”

Your breath catches and the man steps toward you. Rumlow looks hesitant, fiddling with the gun. Rumlow chuckles darkly.

"Sir, is this really necessary." Pierce shoves him forward, the Soldier tracking their movement, ever the hunter.

"Hit. Her."

Rumlow gives you a sympathetic look, almost apologetic.

The butt of the gun hits your cheek with a loud thwack and you cry out, your head falling forward limply. You don’t cry, refusing to let the tears stinging your eyes to fall.

You breathe through your teeth and look up, shooting Rumlow a dirty look.

Rumlow reels his hand back again, and you catch something moving out of the corner of your eye-

Rumlow is thrown into the wall, the gun clattering from his hands. You blink and the Winter Soldier is ripping the guard off of you, his metal arm snapping his neck with a sickening crunch.

The guards surrounding point their guns at him, another reaching out to grab you and pull you away from him. The Winter Soldier is faster, pulling you behind him with force, his foot kicking the guard into the wall with such force you see the splattering of blood before you hear it.

“Don’t touch her”, he snarls, staring down the guards as they point their large guns at him, ready to take them all on by hand.

He had never been this violently protective over you. It was as if the emotions they had programmed into him had been dialed to ten; the instructions to protect you emblazoned into his brain. The only thing that stuck beside his innate ability to kill.

It was all the programming had collected itself in his mind, each wipe adding another layer to the already intense feelings. And when it was triggered, well... let's just say there wasn't anything the Winter Soldier wouldn't do for you.

Pierce is looking at you intently and you realize this was the test.

It has to be. This moment, here, was what they wanted to erase. The programming, the protectiveness.

They were trying to get you out of his head.

And you had to let them.

The grip the Winter Soldier has on your wrist is painful, and you’re afraid if he pulls you again he might snap the bone. You gently touch his shoulder, your wide eyes trying to reach his.

“Soldat,” you whisper gently, urgently. He finally looks at you after a moment, glancing at you before returning his stare to the guards. It was a signal he was listening, even if his attention wasn’t on you. “Let go, please. You’re hurting me.” Your Russian is broken, not as good as his, but he gets the message. He lets your wrist go.

You walk around to face him, settling him when the guards point their guns at you.

“Stop, stop,” you hold up your hands, glancing back at them as the Soldier begins to move. “It’s okay, they’re not going to shoot me.”

You don’t know that, but you have to get him to calm down.

Your hands are on the Soldier’s chest, on his metal arm, his tense muscles visibly relaxing beneath your fingers.

You swallow thickly. You know what you have to do, know what Pierce expects you to do. But can you do it?

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t afraid of the Soldier. You’d seen what he could do. You’ve even felt it, when you had first met him. His knife thrown into your shoulder to get you to fall back on a mission, to warn you to retreat. It was a backwards protectiveness, but it had developed into something so much more.

Here, now, you could see it. The attachment he had to you, the connection.

It was why you had visited his cell, why you had risked punishment to try and get him to remember you.

Because while you feared him, while you were tense every time he was in the same room as you, you couldn’t help the attachment you’d grown to him.

You’d come to know his fight patterns, his focus, his attention.

His quietness, his loyalty. Even though he had done terrible things, even though you knew he was going to do more, there was something shared between you, something you couldn’t ignore.

In some twisted way, he was yours. Even if you couldn’t have him.

Your eyes grow warm and wet with tears, your bottom lip trembling as you speak again.

“I need you to do something for me, Soldat.”

The Winter Soldier looks at you, and it finally brings a sob out of you, tears streaming out of your face. His cerulean eyes are sad, so unlike his picture in the museum.

You try to look for James Barnes within him, a glimmer, a hope of something more. But James is so buried beneath the Soldier, you’re not sure how he’d ever resurface.

The Winter Soldier is waiting for you to speak, waiting for you to instruct him. It pains you to have to do this, your heart burning at the thought of what you were about to do.

But the quiet part of you, the selfish part which keeps you up at night, tells you it’s necessary.

If not the Soldier, then you. The fear which had been instilled in you overriding your senses.

The Winter Soldier brings up his right hand tentatively, brushing a tear off your face.

“Anything,” he whispers. You swallow, and look at Pierce. He nods, his eyes dark and intimidating.

“I need you to sit in that chair,” you point to the one by the machine. His eyes flicker between the chair and you. He shakes his head.

“It’ll hurt.”

“I know,” you say, hands gently pushing his body toward the chair. “I know, but it’s better for the both of us if you get in.” Your eyes are pleading, remorseful, and he doesn’t protest as you push him into the chair, his body falling into it with a thud.

A doctor comes from behind you and quickly straps the Winter Soldier in the chair, another attaching electrode wires to his head and chest. For a moment, he looks like he’s going to throw himself at the doctor as they prick his arm with needles, his eyes flashing with anger.

But it quickly dies when you throw your body on his, his hand from coming up to choke out the doctor. Your arms are wrapped around him, touching him in a way you never have. It kills you that this has to be done here and now, with an audience and with the sense of awful betrayal running through your body. Your hand moves his long hair covering his ear and you whisper again, softly, in Russian.

“I’m sorry moya lyubov.” (my love)

It doesn't exactly encapsulate your connection, no title or word ever could for something so complicated. But it's the only comfort you have to offer.

His eyes are glassy as you move away, your fingers lingering a moment too long on his cheek. Rumlow is the one to pull you away, bringing you to the other side of the room beside Pierce. Your gaze doesn’t leave the Winter Soldier as they place the mouth guard in his mouth, his fight leaving his body as he looks at you.

“Didn’t know you had that in you.” Rumlow whispers. You refuse to look at him.

The machine starts up, whirring loudly, the mechanical parts creaking as the metal instruments lower down to his face.

You turn away when the Winter Soldier starts screaming, tears streaming down your face. Rumlow grimaces besides you, and when Pierce tells him to do so, he forces your head back to watch.

To take in the horrifying image. To face the consequences of what you had done. But Pierce is too busy watching the Soldier, engrossed in this awful display of his power.

He doesn’t note the way Rumlow covers your ears, blocking out the haunting screams. He doesn’t see the way Rumlow's eyes are also pained at the sight of the Soldier.

Maybe it's because Rumlow knows one day it could be him. Maybe it's because somewhere, buried deep, a part of him cared. It's a crack in his facade which makes you partially grateful, despite the hatred boiling in your gut.

To know it wasn't just you suffering.

Even if it was just to keep you from growing hysterical, to keep you calm for Pierce. No one likes an agitated lab rat. But it makes you wonder...

The screaming finally stops. The machines' loud whirring coming to a grinding halt, its different parts raised by the doctors.

The Winter Soldier sits slumped in his chair, Pierce grabs the little red book, the one whose very sight made your heart beat faster, the dark star embellished on its front.

This was it. He begins to speak the words, the only Russian you could perfectly understand.

Longing, Rusted…

The Soldier only looks up when the final word has been spoken, his shoulder twitching, jaw tight as his teeth grind.

Pierce looks down at him, hands behind his back. Expectant.

“Ready to comply.” The Winter Soldier’s voice is hollow. Empty. There’s sweat running down his temple.

Pierce nods with approval.

“Good. You’re going to observe and copy what you see. Understand, Soldat?”

The Soldier nods once, looking at Pierce with obedience.

Pierce nods to the guards who pull you front and center again, their hands gripping your clothes tightly. Rumlow sighs and takes out his gun again. He clenches his teeth and cringes, shrugging, as if to say ‘sorry. If not you, then me.’

He hits you. Not as hard as the first time. Your teeth still rattle with the impact, a groan escaping your mouth.

“Now, your turn.”

The Winter Soldier stands without hesitation, taking the gun Rumlow holds out to him. You look up at the Soldier slowly, tentative. Afraid.

He stands there for a moment, watching you squirm in the guard’s arms. You plead softly, but his eyes are cold as he stares.

With the gun in his right hand, he brings it down on the side of your face, and you can feel the metal tear away a layer of skin. There’s a ringing in your ear, blood dribbling down your cheek, warm and wet. Through your tears, you see the Soldier, sweating, staggering back as he looks at you.

“Good,” Pierce pats the Soldier on his shoulder, gesturing to the guard holding you. He lets you go and you crumble, breathing heavy as your knees fall to the hard floor. The Winter Soldier closes his eyes and you can see he’s about to pass out.

The machine was always hard on his body; the toll it took to wipe a mind was exhausting, both mentally and physically. Not to mention the hypnosis process. The Soldier lowers himself to the floor, not looking at you, closing his eyes as he slumps fully onto the floor, passing out.

Pierce kicks at him like a broken toy, closing his eyes in disappointment when the Soldier doesn't get up.

Pierce calls your attention, “You and Rumlow are dismissed. Let’s not allow this… attachment to get in the way of your work anymore, alright Myshka?”

You nod, a tear sliding down your cheek, knees still pressed against the hard floor. You don't get up.

"Now, don't let the Captain see you cry," Pierce leans down, as if you were a small child in need of comfort. "You keep him distracted today, alright? The Winter Soldier will take care of Fury. I don't need you getting involved."

The guards carry out the Soldier, his body held up by four men, head lolling and limbs dragging on the floor as they throw him into a cell in the hall.

You follow Rumlow out into the hall, watching, hand clutching your face painfully.

The elevator is slow, too slow for your liking and you shift uncomfortably as you glare at Rumlow in front of you. He sighs, glancing at you in his peripherals.

“You know, I’ve seen a lot of things in my time here. But today…” Rumlow turns to you, his eyes hardened with concern, “Just don’t do anything stupid with the Soldier. Next time they have to erase you, they’ll have him shoot you after.”

“Don’t try to sympathize with me. You’re just as bad as Pierce.” Your eyes remain trained on the floor. Rumlow shrugs.

The elevator dings and he steps out. But before the door fully closes behind him, Rumlow sticks his head back in.

“Who knows. Maybe they'll finally figure out you just won’t leave his head. Then they’ll make him kill you first.”

He was right. They were going to kill you eventually. No matter whether the Soldier - whether James- remembered you, your time in HYDRA had an expiration day. You might as well be dead already.

And they were going to have him kill Fury today...

An idea pricks the back of your mind. But to do it.... you hated the thought. You didn't even know if he'd help you out. If he wouldn't shove you into one of SHIELD's incinerators at your request. But if he could help...

Rumlow backs out of the elevator, the doors closing and it's your turn to stick your head through the doors.

Rumlow turns back, surprised. You lip quirks in disgust, hating the words which were brewing on your tongue.

"Yes?" he says, voice lilted with amusement.

"Rumlow... I need a favor."

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #captain america winter soldier #bucky barnes angst #winter soldier angst #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #marvel #it's fear #angst

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moirindeclermont · 11 months ago

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Shall I bring to you the unhinged list I promised yesterday??? So, yesterday it was all about intimate scenes that I wish for Pen and Colin in Bridgerton season 4 that could happen in canon. Today... Today is about stuff that won't happen in canon, but maybe someone will head my pray and let this happen somehow. Disclaimer, if you're not into this it's okay, but by now you know I'm unhinged, so let's go on this journey together.

I want a scene with Jealous Colin, maybe someone that flirts a little too shamelessly with Pen. Followed by the most scorching hot scene in which he bends her over their desk and things get real intense quickly, maybe with a spank or two.

You know it's coming. My personal favorite combination. Edging and dirty talking. I write a whole fic for this for a reason. Just Colin telling her the mot nasty stuff while she can't seek her release.

I know I will lose you here, but I can't believe the Benedict is the only one that get to experience a threesome... So let's make it Polin style. I admit, it requires a bit of plot because it's not something that can happen overnight. The gender is not important, but maybe two men (Colin + someone) that both worship Pen... Yeah, that I can see it.

Some stuff with clamps? Or even just ropes. Pen in ropes would be something exquisite. Of course they do this while looking in the mirror, do you really have to ask? It's soft!Dom Colin but to its extreme. And why not also reverse it, just Dom Pen in all her glory.

They love doing public stuff right? Then let's go and embracing it. They know people are watching.. and they love it. Colin would love to make the whole Ton recognize that Pen is an extraordinary woman, but she is also his.

A reverse carriage scene... I think Pen on her knees would be at the perfect height to experience the power that come with pleasing his man with hands and mouth. And talking about this, let's go to the land of numbers and explore what a 69 can bring to the dynamic, why not?

And while these will likely never happen, even though a couple could be achieved if the actors are comfortable with it, of course we will always have fanfiction (and I'm making a list for a future post with my recommendation). But some of these may service a plot purpose, although it's extremely unlikely that those plots will ever be considered for them.

But I'm very curious to hear it from you... What's your unhinged hope for Polin in season 4?

#polin #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #polin positivity #luke newton #nicola coughlan #unhinge post #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #polin smut #polin season 4 #polin brainrot #polin bridgerton #penelope featherington #penelope bridgerton #bridgerton smut

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tenjin-no-shinja · 13 days ago

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Manners, Taboos, and Proper Dress when Visiting Shrines

Text in the Photo says: "Bow before entering the shrine precincts"

When visiting a shrine, one's clothes must also be tidy. As it is where kami reside, one should avoid having an indecent appearance. Particularly during formal visits and such, when entering the shrine, formal attire should be worn. Although it may be tempting to wear casual clothing during the hottest parts of the day in summer, however we should strive to dress appropriately to express our respect and gratitude to the kami.

There are various manners and customs when worshiping, but the most important is to have the feeling that the kami are watching over you from the shrine. With these feelings in mind, people will naturally avoid behaviors that violate the sanctity of the shrine, such as damaging or defacing shrine items, or shouting loudly.

The etiquette of Temizuya, Worship/Tamagushi, etc... will be discussed later, here we will touch upon the typical manners inside shrine grounds. That is, when entering the shrine precincts, or passing in front of the main worship hall, one should bow respectfully to the enshrined kami.

Also, as kami dislike impurity, it's important to avoid bringing it into shrine grounds. Those in mourning should also refrain from visiting (typically 50 days). If it is unavoidable, visiting after you have received purification.

Personal Note: regarding the mourning, I personally believe the kami would be understanding of you wishing to pray to them during such a difficult time, however I know some resources say one should even refrain from praying (such as at a kamidana, which is traditionally covered with a white cloth during the funerary rites and mourning period) to the kami during the mourning period. So I'd say do what feels right.

Is 5¥ Really Okay?/Is this the Cashless Offering Era?

I'm not going to directly translate this whole section, but it's basically saying the reason for 5¥ is due to it being a homophone with a word that means "blessing" but that you should avoid thinking the amount offered = level of blessing given, as it's rude to the kami.

Also talks about how some shrines are doing cashless offerings, via QR code, but that the tradition of giving actual coins is unlikely to disappear anytime soon due to that act itself being a form of faith.

Not Just Your Hands and Mouth, Purify Your Heart

Some notes from this section

Temizuya can be seen as a substitute for Misogi

Do not touch the ladle to your mouth, also do not scrub your hands in the water even if they're dirty

You are also purifying your mind not just your body

Translation of the diagrams

① Take the ladle in your right hand, and fill it with some of the purified water. Use this to do the following steps.

② Wash your left hand with water.

③ Switch label to left hand, and pour water over right hand.

④ Switch ladle back to right hand, pour some water into left hand and wash your mouth.

⑤ Wash left hand again.

⑥ Tilt the ladle vertically, and wash with the remainder of water. Return to holder.

Basics of Two Bows, Two Claps, One Bow

Notes from this section

Before even getting to the main bows and claps, you do a small bow as you approach the offering box (to ask permission to approach the offering box), and after you finish you step away and do a slight bow.

Gishiwajinden 魏志倭人伝 (a book about Japan written in China around the end of the 3rd century) says that the clapping of hands was originally a way to show respect to nobles and Shinto adopted it

The practice of offering more claps (like 4) exists and most shrines will clearly post if their numbers differ, but it's okay to do the standard 2-2-1 practice if unsure

Translation of Images

① Gently place your offering in the offerings box.

② Ring the bell.

③ Bow deeply (around 90°) twice.

④ Raise your hands to your chest, with your right hand slightly below the left, open your arms shoulder with apart and clap twice.

⑤ Align your hands together again and lower them, then bow deeply again.

How to Visit the Shōden

Worshipping Closer to Kamisama

Visiting the Shōden means going to the Haiden (at some shrines it means the Kaguraden), having a priest recite Norito, and offering tamagushi. This type of visit is done when you want to do a formal visit, or have a special blessing done.

Since you are worshipping closer to the kami, there are certain things to keep in mind, such as wearing formal attire. Related to this, it is useful to know the types of bows used in Shinto (the below diagram).

One must be especially careful when Norito are being recited. Some people will take photos, or talk amongst themselves, but this is strictly forbidden. Since the priest is making a request to the kami on behalf of the worshipers, they must show that they are the ones praying by bowing deeply.

Translation of Diagram

15° 小揖しょうゆう slight bow before and after movements

45° 深揖　しんゆう deep bow done when receiving purification

60° bow done when a norito is being recited

90° bow done during the "Two Bows, Two Claps, One Bow"

The note at the bottom says: "The degree of angle is merely a guideline. If you have a bad back, you can bend as much as you can."

The Process and Meaning of Entering the Shōden

Entering the Shōden begins with apply at the shrine office. At that time, tell them the purpose of the visit, and how many people will be attending. When there are events, it may not be possible to enter the Shōden, so make sure to apply several days in advance.

Arrive at the shrine early, and when it is time a priest or shrine maiden will guide you to the main building. First is a purification ceremony called Shubatsu 修祓, please bow deeply (45°). Next is the offering of food to the kami, but this is often omitted. Then the Norito is recited. The intent of the prayer is made known to the kami, and their assistance is requested.

Once the Norito is finished, Tamagushi are presented (pg. 53). Originally offerings were taken down and worshipers would partake in Naorai 直会, but it is typical for all of this except drinking the sake called Omiki 御神酒, to be omitted. The mysterious power of the kami of the shrine is said to reside in omiki. Even if you only just touch the sake cup, make sure to partake in it!

Translation of Diagram

The title is: Typical Order for Visiting the Inner Shrine

① Application/Special Blessing Fee Payment

② Entering the Inner Shrine

③ Shubatsu (Oharai)

④ Recitation of Norito

⑤ Offering of Tamagushi (Worship)

⑥ Receiving Thanks

The Process and Meaning of Offering Tamagushi

Notes from this section

Offering the Tamagushi is symbolic

Rotating it can see complicated, but the shrine staff will show you how, so even if you feel awkward offer it with a sense of reverence, kamisama will understand you.

If worshiping as a group, only the group representative offers the Tamagushi, once they finish follow them in the 2-2-1 bows and claps.

In more formal worship a Kagura is performed by a shrine maiden, this is also for the kami, and should be viewed as such.

Translation of Diagram

① Take the Tamagushi given to you by the priest. Hold the branch of the Tamagushi with your right hand on top, and the leafy side from below with your left hand.

② Perform a slight bow in front of the offering table for the tamagushi

③ Rotate the branch towards yourself 90°, moving your right hand below the branch.

④ Slide your left hand down from where it was holding the leafy part, towards yourself. With both hands holding the branch offer a prayer.

⑤ Move your right hand from the base to the tip, and rotate it clockwise so the branch side faces the Kami.

⑥ Place the Tamagushi on the offering table, and bow twice, clap twice, bow once.

Whooo, another 4 pages done. The next one will just be some neat pictures and translations of the images, as it focuses on the items offered by shrines (which is information that's already readily available in English). Same usual disclaimer that I'm not a native speaker and my translations are for fun/personal practice.

#Shinto #神社の教科書 #Photos #Info

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