#UR SNAPCHAT KILLS ME DUDE

[novy2sirius]

MERCURY HOUSE CORE ©novy2sirius

trigger warning: mental health issues, pedophilia, killing, physical health issues ☘️

this is just a random post abt things ppl with these placements could experience ☘️

these r only abt isolated placements so take it with a grain of salt bc the whole chart matters ☘️

a lot of these r experiences i’ve heard from my friends and ppl who’ve purchased readings from me directly ☘️

☿ mercury in 1h core

being diagnosed with more mental illnesses than u can count, being very intelligent which leads u to be anxious just by existing bc of all ur knowledge, saying things u don’t mean cuz u were angry, being told u have a youthful face, knowing a bunch of random facts abt things and telling ppl and them asking why tf u know that or care, hyper-fixating on things u can’t control, getting internet hate by simply existing, getting dmed sexual stuff by random weird dudes trying to prey on u (especially when ur younger), getting nauseous bc ur anxiety is so bad (especially before school), having sexy hands, skipping school to be on ur phone all day and do nothing, asking way too many questions bc of ur curiosity abt everything and annoying ppl (especially as a kid), giving ur opinion when no one asked for it, being told u could be a good rapper/singer, being rly good at flirting bc of ur charm, cussing a lot

☿ mercury in 2h core

being obsessed with mukbang/eating videos and then making urself rly hungry and being frustrated bc u can’t have the food they’re eating in the video, valuing ur own opinions more than others, not answering texts or calls bc ur too lazy to but then liking those same ppls posts on instagram, saying “um” too much or having a lot of pauses in between words bc ur a slow thinker, talking to ur toys as a kid when u were lonely, getting all ur food recipes from pinterest, buying online gift cards for ppl instead of putting effort into an actual gift/on the flip side if ur a more creative person putting a lot of thought into gifts, being good at making things from scratch, being more wealthy in online games than in real life, being obsessed w the papa’s food games on cool math as a kid, holding grudges against ppl who kill u on roblox, liking scents that smell like food or scents that make u smell rich/boujee, always making money, making money online

☿ mercury in 3h core

double texting bc u have sm to say and will forget abt it if u don’t type it immediately, being able to get lots of followers on social media, being gossiped abt online, being a huge reader, enjoying hearing abt other ppls drama but not wanting to be in any, having a child-like energy (this can be in a positive or negative way depending on what vibration ur at in life), saying childish things in arguments when ur at a lower vibration (example: meh meh meh :p), drama following u wherever u go, aging well, being obsessed with sims, not believing things unless there’s very good reasoning to back them up, being able to communicate well, being a talented writer, forming all ur opinions from ur older siblings (if u have any), math or literature being ur favorite subject, being a good driver, enjoying traveling but not for too long bc u get tired quickly of it, being charming af, being witty and quickly thinking of good jokes

☿ mercury in 4h core

posting all ur feelings on social media or going thru that emo phase in middle school where u would post those sad lyric vids on ur snapchat, ur family gossiping abt u a lot and u overhearing it in the next room, having a super low pain tolerance, enjoying watching self care vids, getting baby fever after seeing tiktoks of cute babies, being a rly good person to come to if someone needs a comfort person, living in an rv/camper at some point in ur life, telling ur mom everything and her giving u advice abt certain situations but then u don’t listen and she ends up being right abt the whole thing, coming to ur mom for advice on everything in general, ur mom being more childish than u, being able to write stories that readers rly emotionally relate to a lot, ur mom having videos of u still up on her facebook from when u were little that still haunt u to this day

☿ mercury in 5h core

being creative as hell, being a natural performer, having a fun childlike energy, being a huge risk taker and thrill seeker, being a talented actor, being rly good at video games and possibly becoming famous from playing them, living for the drama but not wanting to be a part of it, downloading tinder and not knowing y u don’t just delete it, being sassy, being told ur trying to hard to be the main character but u literally r the main character and can’t help that, not having ur first love until ur an adult and only experiencing puppy love in ur youth, going to a bunch of concerts, being turned on by wattpad stories and feeling like a whore bc of it, flirting w ppl online and then being scared to say anything to them in person when u see each other, being a good driver

☿ mercury in 6h core

ppl saying u come off super innocent (even if ur not), constantly doing things for others even when they don’t give the same energy in return, being obsessed with improving ur health or with videos online abt being healthy/fit, feeling awful before going to school bc it gives u horrible anxiety and makes u feel like ur gonna puke, thinking ur gonna get a stroke every time u have a normal headache (and being a hypochondriac in general), not functioning without consistency in ur life, having an entire pinterest board of cute animals, being good with animals, being obsessed w ur hygiene and feeling nasty when u don’t shower everyday, weirdly loving medical shows such as greys anatomy, having a lot of stomach issues

☿ mercury in 7h core

convincing ppl to do things with ur charm, wanting to tell ppl something and be honest with them but being too scared bc u don’t want them to hate u and r constantly afraid u’ll hurt them, copying ur romantic partners slang/ur partners copying urs, meeting lovers online, dating or marrying gemini/virgo placements, having age gaps in ur relationships, getting into a lot of conflicts online, ur ex partner/ex best friends posting abt u and subbing u (not saying ur name directly but talking abt u) online after u have a fallout, flirting with ppl on club penguin or roblox when u were younger, changing ur opinions easily based on what ur partner or close friends think, dating ppl when ur too young to even drive, posting a lot abt ur relationship online

☿ mercury in 8h core

analyzing ppl well and understanding them before anyone else does, ppl randomly telling u their deepest darkest secrets when u didn’t even ask, being interested in the way ppls minds work which leads u to become obsessed w books abt psychology/astrology/tarot/etc, starting to masturbate from a rly young age that’s almost concerning, having a lot of mental health issues bc of ur childhood trauma, using dark humor as a way to cope with ur trauma, not realizing how much trauma u’ve went thru until someone verbally tells u that u’ve been thru a lot (usually a therapist), being a tomboy as a kid, being obsessed with true crime, being told ur mysterious, saying out of pocket shit that has high shock value, being stalked online

☿ mercury in 9h core

having a more optimistic mindset than everyone around u, enjoying traveling a lot, wanting to leave ur hometown as soon as possible, driving when traveling instead of taking a plane cuz u don’t wanna pay for the flight, majoring in communications or something involving technology or literature, having an interest in other cultures more than ur own, coming off as intelligent bc of the way u talk and ur mannerisms, being told that u could be a good lawyer from a young age, being a good interviewer, knowing multiple languages, having logical ethics, being a comedian, being an amazing story teller

☿ mercury in 10h core

trying to keep ur daily life private and ppl still getting in ur business, being able to influence the public easily bc they seem to care a lot abt what u say, being famous on social media, being a famous singer, rumors being spread abt u to the public, having a talent for teaching others, having goals that u set as a kid that u feel u must fulfill, having a career involving cars, having a career involving technology, having a career involving writing/literature, being seen as someone who’s intelligent (especially in ur workplace), having dad humor, coming off as a know it all (10h is associated with experts and mercury is the thinking/the mind), being known for ur humor and how funny u r, playing online games that involve having a job such as papa’s freezeria

☿ mercury in 11h core

having random bursts of creative ideas and doing crazy stuff like writing an entire movie and then literally forgetting abt it the next day, ur best friends being ur siblings, having the most random thought processes, being able to make friends easily, having lots of online friends, being clumsy as hell, having a fan page/editing page when u were younger, being known as “the weird kid” in school (this doesn’t mean it’s always in a bad way tho it can mean in a unique/fun way), being popular online, having unique mannerisms, having a unique voice/unique speech patterns, being a good rapper, being dragged into online drama, cussing a lot, saying random things out of nowhere like ice bear from we bare bears, having a lot of ideas that r unique bc u think outside of the box, having unique perceptions, constantly changing ur mind abt things

☿ mercury in 12h core

speaking/writing things into existence with minimal effort, being obsessed with the feeling of nostalgia and making urself feel it then regretting it bc it hurts, ppl interrupting u and talking over u a lot, ppl ignoring what ur saying and making u feel like a ghost, having a huge interest in spiritual things, manipulating and lying a lot when at a lower vibration, being bullied (especially as a kid/in school), feeling lonely even when ur literally socializing or at a social function, having an astrology account, having more online friends than friend’s in person, daydreaming a lot in social settings (and in general), gaslighting ppl when at a lower vibration, being able to speak to the dead thru ur dreams, hearing ppl talking when ur half asleep, sleep walking, being sensitive to things ppl say but trying to hide it, healing ppl through ur words, hiding ur true thoughts abt someone, hiding ur true intentions, having strong emotional intelligence when at a high vibration, easily figuring out what someone’s feeling, being able to do rly good impressions

[i-love-dopamine]

Fuck guys help me. My friend, we'll call her k, has been acting really weird lately. One of my other friends called me on the verge of tears bc she was being really mean and weird. I was at the roller rink and some girl complemented my hair and i fell bc im weak and i told k about it and she went into a 10 minute rant about how she hopes that girl would kill herself, which is relatively normal for her, but i was confused about why k was so mad at the girl. I asked k why she was so mad and this is what our chats look like directly quoted (no pics bc Snapchats a snitch)

Me: why are you so mad about it tho?

K: idk

K: i just don't like girls who say your hair is nice

K: like NO MY HAIR IS TERRIBLE

K: NOT THAT UR HAIR IS TERRIBLE

K: its hard to explain

And then i was really worried bc that was really weird and out of character for her so then this happened

Me: i can't tell if your mad i got hurt or mad that she was flirting with me

K: what do you think?

Me: i dunno

K: sucks for you

Then she started threatening violence again

K: i hope she kills herself

Me: dude

K: i hope she falls off a cliff and doesn't completely die and then i truck runs her over and she bleeds to death

Me: please tell me whats going on

Me: im worried

And then i went to the bathroom and called her to make sure shes ok and she was not taking it seriously. I kept asking her to take it seriously and listen to me and she started ranting about the dnf fanfic shes gonna write. I was absolutely terrified because she has a history of SH and she acts weird right before relapses. Now I don't know whats going on bc we joke flirt all the time and she always says after that shes joking and she'd rather be straight (it might be straight idk she acts pretty eggish and im a trans dude(she doesn't know that tho)) but she also gets really jealous when i text other people or when i tell her about any celebrity crushes i have and she has said "stop texting (name) and talk to me 😡 ur mine 😡😡" and i always just ignore it or flirt back but im starting to worry shes actually caught feelings for me. She has a huge dating history and has dated nearly everyone in her grade and a few in mine and when i talk to her exes (excluding the ones shes still friends with) she gets REALLY mad. Fuck guys im scared last time i was in a relationship it ended with nothing but pain im not ready to even think about getting into a relationship with a real person right now and especially not with the school we currently go to bc its filled with homophobes and people who if they removed themselves the world would be a better place. Im so fucking scared man i haven't felt like this since my mom confronted me about cutting my hair ughhh everything hurts im so scared fuck fuck fuck

[thaliasthunder]

grecia reading The Trials of Apollo #1: the hidden oracle

first impression: the covers of this saga look actually dope

"My name is apollo. I used to be a god" hi sweetheart

"I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy." can u shut the fuck up

WHO TF IS LAST-NAMED PAPADOPOULOS IM CRYING 💀💀

A four thousand year old god being afraid of a 12y.o girl? this is amazing

“I know someone who might help. He lives on the Upper East Side. Take me to him, and I shall reward you.” let it be who i'm thinking of please 😭😭😭

"Zeus did not answer. He was probably too busy recording my humiliation to share on Snapchat." Help me 💀💀

“Let’s find Percy Jackson.”' WAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭

"For children blessed with an immortal parent, they were strangely sensitive about their backgrounds." this bitch didnt just say blessed

"the young man swung open the apartment door and said, “Why?” As usual, I was struck by his resemblance to his father, Poseidon. He had the same sea-green eyes, the same dark tousled hair, the same handsome features that could shift from humor to anger so easily." PERCY MY BELOVED SON, MY FIRSTBORN HI BABY BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

"sacred sybil" ??? "Are u cursed?" what the actual fuck apollo 😭😭

“The war ended in August. It’s January.” percy is 17 im gonna fucking SOB 😭

sally finally got to write her book <333

"He smiled, and some of that old demigod mischief twinkled in his eyes." STOP 😭😭😭

“Some of the best demigods have gotten their start by blowing up toilets.” *sobs in the lightning thief* 🤧

"I did not like the way she was grinning at Percy. I didn’t want the girl to develop a crush. We might never get out of here" LMFAO everyone falls in love with my boy i know he's so gorgeous he's stunning he's mesmerizing 😭

Because Poseidon 😭

“I keep thinking, I have now killed every single thing in Greek mythology. But the list never seems to end.” “You haven’t killed me yet” “Don’t tempt me.” percy is so done w apollo's shit 💀

"The calmness of his eyes, the smile resting easily on his lips, the way his hair curled around his ears…" oh? look at that! im sobbing!

"crotchkicker mccaffrey" I CACKLED

WAAAAAAAAHH NICO HI MY BABY 😭

significant annoyance

"they were so cute together it made me feel desolate" istg 😭😭

not paolo's arms JFJKFKS 💀💀💀

"She's a communist!" JFKFKDJF THIS CSNT BE REAL 💀

apollo sayin' gay relationships w gods can also have children might be the best thing i've read

MY CHILDREN KAYLA AND AUSTIN ARE MISSING WHAT

paolo got his leg sewed for god's sake 💀

will being a doctor in charge and nico his little nurse this is good food

rachel elizabeth dare my redhead beloved so pleased to see u again !! <3

rachel jealous over apollo having more oracles bestie pls 😭

apollo using meg's rings as a necklace </3

apollo's thoughts about daphne in the woods oh the poetic tragedy of a lost love <\3

"rhea's laugh reminded me of a piglet with asthma" HELP ME??💀💀

who's the emperors??? nero??? caligula??? commodus?? TELL ME

OH IT'S NERO

apollo's melancholy singing for daphne & hyacinthus <\333

'“Sing. Sing like you did before" "I—I can’t. My voice is almost gone.” Besides, I thought, I don’t want to risk losing you again.' man dont do this to me 😭😭😭

"I love the Internet! It is impossible for me to fade completely now. I am immortal on Wikipedia!” i DID SEARCH THIS DUDE, sorry apollo 💀💀

MEG WHAT DID YOU DO

"Artemis shot me in the groin because I was flirting with her Hunters." JDFKDFK GO BESTIE💀

"I stared at my beloved Dumpster waif. Yes, somehow over the past week she had become beloved to me." awe 🤧

The dryads & zephyros helping apollo in the woods <3

"Will, Kayla, Austin. Come with me" "And Nico. I have a doctor's note" boi ur doctor's note only consist on being by will's side 😭😭

WAAAAAAAHHH MY OCEAN BABY BOY IS HERE 😭😭

"I wanted to flirt with Chiara and steal her away from Damien…or perhaps steal Damien away from Chiara, I wasn’t sure yet." this dude is so painfully bisexual it kills me 😭

percy & rachel together again it's been so long since i read them interact <3

MY FIRE BOY AND MY GIRL ARE BACKKKK 🔥🌿

they're beating the shit out of my boy leo 💀💀

"When they first saw each other, Percy and Calypso had hugged awkwardly. I hadn’t witnessed such a tense greeting since Patroclus met Achilles’s war prize, Briseis. (Long story. Juicy gossip. Ask me later.)" DUDE YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME

"piece of torta" help. also my water boi & fire boi giving each other a high five 😭

apollo, leo & calypso walking together to the amphitheater <3

more of my reviews & reactions of the rrverse books here: percy jackson & the olympians, the heroes of olympus, RRverse mini stories

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[kaistarus]

Mistexting Mayhem

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: You accidentally send Nishinoya a text that was meant for Yachi and now he’s knows secrets you were hoping he never found out

A/N: If you think this fic is anything but crack you’re wrong lmao I’ve always wanted to write a fic with this style and Noya is great for the chaos i needed. It was fun

Masterlist

[6:40pm] idiot⚡: look y/n without adhd id be too powerful

                         i could beet god himself in handtohand combat

                         god was afraid of my raw fuckin awesomeness wen i bursted from the woom

[6:41pm] y/n: there is so much wrong with what u just said

[6:41pm] idiot⚡: i have absoltly no clue wat

[6:43pm] y/n: put those 3 brain cells to work. I believe in you

[6:43pm] idiot⚡: but theyve reached their daily quota

                          plz there so tired and overworked

You snorted, a dopey smile on your lips as you laid surrounded by textbooks and homework, swinging your feet in the air behind you. You focused intently on the cell phone in your hand doing everything you could to procrastinate the schoolwork around you.

[6:44pm] y/n: noyas so stupid

[6:44pm] yachi❤: i thought you liked him?

[6:45pm] y/n: jeez Yachi. dont come for my throat

                       i cant help that i have bad taste 🙄

[6:46pm] yachi❤: if it helps he tripped over a stray ball today

                               maybe think of that till you don’t like him??

Unfortunately, the image of Nishinoya waving to everyone then biffing it only had you smiling like a dork. How you’d gotten to a point that Nishinoya being an idiot made you swoon, you’ll never know.

You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at the new notification on Snapchat from ‘Tanaka’ and after swiping it open you nearly dropped your phone. Looking back at you was Nishinoya, his head tilted and eyebrow quirked in confusion with a gari-gari kun shoved halfway down his throat. The caption at the bottom reading ‘daaaammn look at your prince charming go 😩’.

You frowned at the picture, letting out a frustrated groan at how your heart accelerated against your ribcage. You quickly tapped out of it and reopened the messenger app.

[6:57pm] y/n: we have to kill Noya

[6:57pm] idiot⚡: we??? what kind of mission is this??? 😤

[6:58pm] y/n: i like him too much. he has to die. its for my own good

You waited impatiently for her response and almost debated doing your homework since it took longer than you felt necessary. You supposed you had suggested murder to Yachi, but still…

When you finally received a response your entire body froze.

[7:11pm] idiot⚡: U LIKE ME?!?!? 😍

                          UR KILLING ME?!?! 😢

                          IM SO CONFUSED......

                          and a lil turned on ngl👀

Your hand covered your mouth in horror as you processed what the hell you had just done. This didn’t happen to people in real life. Mistexting was stuff people made up when they created fake texts for social media to get likes. You didn’t think people actually went through this.

You opened new notifications to escape the hell that stared you straight in the face.

[7:15pm] Tanaka💪: Yo, whatd u do. Whys Noya having a panic attak

[7:16pm] y/n: I accidently texted him instead of Yachi and told him i liked him 😣

[7:16pm] Tanaka💪: O wtf thats hilarious 😂

[7:17pm] y/n: ITS NOT HILArIOUS

[7:18pm] Tanaka💪: Hes askin if its a prank. Wat do i do?

[7:19pm] y/n:I DONT KNOW SDKFHJN IM THE IDIOT WHO STSRTED IT

He stopped responding and you banged your head against your pillow anxiously.

[7:23pm] y/n: YACHI ITOLD NoYA I LKED HIM AND NOU HE NOS WAY DO JI DO!?!????! 😭😭😭

[7:23pm] idiot⚡: THIS ISNT YACHI!!!!

                           HOLY FUKC U DO LIEK ME!!!

You screamed into your pillow. Were you fucking kidding? This could not be happening.

[7:25pm] Tanaka💪: dude, twice? i cant save u now 🤪

[7:25pm] y/n: betraying me in my time of fucking need? i’ll remember this asshole

[7:26pm] Tanaka💪: so vulgar 👀

You growled at Tanaka’s uselessness and bravely peeked through one eye as you went back to your conversation with Nishinoya.

[7:24pm] idiot⚡: STOP IGNORING ME I KNO UR TEXTING RYU

[7:26pm] idiot: IM GONNA KEEP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWE RME😤

[7:26pm] idiot⚡: 1

                          2

                          3

                          4

                          5

                           6

                           7

                           8

                           9

[7:27pm] y/n: what is this twitch chat? fuck 

[7:28pm] idiot⚡: your heeeeererererreee 🥰

[7:29pm] y/n: soooooo………..

                        clearly there has been a misunderstanding

[7:29pm] idiot⚡: oh nonono. I understand PERFETCLY. u LOVE me

                         its ok. this is a safe space. we can discuss feelings 😌

[7:31pm] y/n: there are zero feelings to discuss

[7:31pm] idiot⚡: then y did u say u like me too much so i have to die?

[7:34pm] y/n: i am filled with rage 🤬

[7:34pm] idiot⚡: rage over how much u liiike me???🥰🥰🥰

[7:36pm] y/n: definitely not

You racked your brain for some kind of reasonable sounding excuse, eventually landing on:

[7:36pm] y/n: It was autocorrect

[7:36pm] idiot⚡: HAH????? FROM?????

[7:38pm] y/n: HAH???

                       ....Nora?

[7:38pm] idiot⚡: Who TF is nora???? 😡

[7:39pm] y/n: someoe i like obviously 😏

[7:40pm] idiot⚡: so u like them but u use my name so much it autocorrected to me? 🤔

[7:44pm] y/n: OK MR DETEcTIVE WHERE TF ARE THES BRAIN CELS COMIN GFROM?

[7:45pm] idiot⚡: i pull them out for special ocasions 😌

[7:45pm] y/n: well how bout you pack those up and put em away

[7:46pm] idiot⚡: how bout two people who LIKE each other SAY something so they can DOOOOOOOO something bout IT 🙄

You began typing a frantic message about how it was none of his business until you processed the message. Then you read it over several times before letting out an audible, “what the fuck.”

[7:50pm] y/n: YOU LIKE ME

[7:50pm] idiot⚡: I FLIRT WITH U ALL THE TIME WAT DO U MEAN yOu LiKe Me!?!

                          FUCKING OBVIOSLY

[7:51pm] y/n: literally when. name one time.

[7:52pm] idiot⚡: I WALK WITH U EVERY MORNING!!!

[7:53pm] y/n: I thought that was a coincidence???

[7:54pm] idiot⚡: I BRNIG U SNACKS DURING LUNCH!!!

[7:54pm] y/n: I thought they were leftovers??

[7:55pm] idiot⚡: …....I call you cute and invite you to my games.

[7:56pm] y/n: you call everyone attractive and i thought there was like a audience quota or something........?

[7:57pm] idiot⚡: ….i cant tell who i should be upset with rn but i think its u 😑

[7:58pm] y/n: WAT WHY!?!

[8:00pm] Idiot⚡: I LIKE U+U LIKE ME=WE LIKE EACH OTHER

[8:01pm] y/n: whoa. slow down. I hate math 😣

[8:02pm] Idiot⚡: ===WE SHUD GO ON A DATE!!!

[8:02pm] y/n: HAH!? i think you started multiplying that addition problem buddy 🤨

Your cheeks were beginning to ache from how wide your dopey grin was. You couldn’t help but tease Nishinoya-it was second nature at this point-even if you now knew your feelings were mutual.

[8:04pm] idiot⚡: i suk at math but thats NOT the point

                         point iiissss i think deep down u want to hang out and cuddle and fall in love

                        maybe even..... 😏 kiiisssss

[8:04pm] y/n: WHOA WHOA WHOA

                        WARN ME BEFORE YOU GET NSFW

                        i would never premarital eye-contact. let alone k🤢ki-🤢🤢kiss🤢🤮🤮

[8:05pm] idiot⚡: well we would have socks on 🙄

[8:06pm] y/n: oh. well if there’s protection

[8:06pm] idiot⚡: Im not a maniac

[8:07pm] y/n: i suppose as long as you dont do something stoopid

                        like faceplant in public

                        that would be humiliating

[8:08pm] idiot⚡: I-

                          who told you that 😠

[8:08pm] y/n: i have spies everywhere noya

                        youre never safe

[8:09pm] Idiot⚡: kinda hot 👀

                         makin me fear for my life like that👀

[8:10pm] y/n: i hate that i like you

                        It kills me inside 

                        i feel braincels leaving with every conversation

[8:12pm] Idiot⚡: fan behavior 😏

                          so am i taking u to eat tomorow or wat?

[8:14pm] y/n: if I HAVE to 🙄

[8:14pm] Idiot⚡: No u GET to

                          I am a fucking delite 😤

[8:15pm] y/n: whatever helps you sleep at night

[8:15pm] Idiot⚡: nothing helps me sleep at night. this mind never rests

[8:16pm] y/n: thinking 24/7 and still not a smart thing comes out of that mouth 👀

[8:17pm] Idiot⚡: yas, bully me more 😫

[8:19pm] y/n: ok thats as much as i can handle for one day......

                       im gonna pretend to do homework

[8:20pm] idiot⚡: okie... good luck my sweet baby pogchamp 🥰

[8:20pm] y/n: no

[8:20pm] Idiot⚡: 😘😘😘

[8:22pm] y/n: 🙄✋

[8:23pm] Idiot⚡: oh FUCK yas 🥵 shut me UP

[8:25pm] y/n: suddenly all i feel is endless regret

[8:26pm] Idiot⚡: i have that effect on people

                          See you tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰

[8:27pm] y/n: unfortunately 😘

[8:27pm] idiot⚡: 🥵

You flung an arm over your eyes and let a small giggle bubble up from your chest. Nishinoya was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met, but you couldn’t help that thinking of spending time with him had you kicking your feet with excitement.

You supposed you should actually get started on your homework. You reached forward when a notification popped up from Yachi, asking if her idea worked and you had stopped liking Nishinoya.

...you should probably break the news, huh?

[danakin-skywalker]

ok so I dated a dude named kyle (yes he fit the stereotype, he did punch walls) when I was in high school and one time he had genuinely tried to give me a hickey, but he just kept awkwardly licking my neck... like he wasn't sucking at all. and I had tried to explain to him how to actually give a hickey and he told me that I ruined the mood. nah dude YOU ruined the mood by licking me in the least sexy way possible. anyway I eventually broke up with him over snapchat and I had no remorse about it

I think the mood was probably killed when he looked you in the eye and asked to give you a hickey (I KNOW IT WAS PROBABLY LIKE DURING A MAKEOUT SESSION BUT THE IDEA OF HIM JUST ASKING OUT OF NOWHERE IS SO FUNNY TO ME)

like y’all are just on the couch watchin TV and he turns to u like “…..u want a hickey” and then just fuckin LICKS UR NECK

You probably embarrassed the shit out of him I bet he went home and punched a few more holes in the wall

Good for u tho bestie for dumping his ass 👏🏼

[sarohara]

You both like friends.

You: heyo

Stranger: hey

You: wanna hear a really cool song?

Stranger: sure

You: hold up

You: name or link?

Stranger: name

You: okay

You: young the giant mind over matter

Stranger: okay hold up

You: take your time

Stranger: Damm he is getting into it

You: Yea right? ahah

Stranger: Yeah lmao

Stranger: lmk im prolly gonna regret this but let me use my best pick up line on you😂

Stranger: lmao

You: Go ahead 😂

Stranger: nah nvm I'm bouta say some dumb shit

You: I don't mind 😂

Stranger: wtf nah that shit is cheesy asf

Stranger: like cheesy cheesy

You: Cmon

You: I mean, it's up to u

Stranger: fuck im really gonna regret this alot

Stranger: okay okay game face on

You: 😂

You: you don't even know me, why would u regret it? ahahah

Stranger: Damm you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet

Stranger: bc it me I regret alot of things and now I'm regretting this shit rn

Stranger: fuck why do I gotta be so dumb

You: 20 letters of the alphabet? why?😂

Stranger: oh shit I'm dumb there's 26 letters how can I forget about u,r,a,q,t

You: AHAHAHAHAH

Stranger: See that shit is cheesy

You: I was gonna ask "what about the other 6?"

Stranger: Lmao found the other 6

Stranger: wait there is 27 u can get the d later😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Stranger: okay imma prolly go kill myself now

You: that's it? 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: I'm so so sorry u have to hear my dumbass

You: AHAHAHAHAHAH

You: You're freaking hilarious

Stranger: I hate my self now

Stranger: I'm so cheesy wtf

You: AHAHAHA

You: Stooop

Stranger: I'm never listening to tik tok ever again😂😭

You: AHAHAHA TIK TOK REALLY? 😂

You: I'm dying

Stranger: Okay no what I'm boerd and that app is okay

Stranger: and no o don't post i just scroll through

Stranger: i

You: Yea dw, I do the same😂

Stranger: Lmao im still so sorry u had to hear that

Stranger: Yo boi is running on like 2 brain cells rn

You: hey, shut up, it was cool 😂 I mean, you're funny

You: ahahahahahhaha

Stranger: funny who tf is funny everyone keeps on talking about funny but I still don't know who that mf is

Stranger: I wanna meet that dude he is obviously famous

Stranger: or her I don't really know yet

You: Who's obviously famous?

Stranger: that guy named funny

You: and well, it's funny just because it's not funny

You: AHAHHAHAHA OH MY GAWD

Stranger: yk its funny bc im dumb

Stranger: told you those 2 brain cells are kicking in

You: well, at least that made me laugh so..

Stranger: Fuck yeahhhhhhh

Stranger: look mom i did something finally

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: oh wait she is gone

You: Would she be proud?

You: ooooh

Stranger: She went to the grocery store 2 hours ago

Stranger: so we will find out when she gets back

Stranger: she will prolly still hate me but yk what thays cool

Stranger: thats

You: what mother doesn't hate her kid, right?

You: you're not alone trust me ahahaha

Stranger: Haha facts tho

You: what's ur name btw? lmao

Stranger: yk she told me that I was a mistake and yk what I'm not I won that race me I won

Stranger: all those other kids aren't here are they they are the mistakes

You: Wait, seriously?

You: I was kidding but maybe i was a mistake as well

Stranger: yes I won something and ik thats hard to belive but I did I did not get a trophy when I should have

You: ahahahhahahahahahah You won that race, you did it!

Stranger: wait they did give me trophy

You: I don't think so

Stranger: ur my trophy so I can finally show my trophy off okay that was bad I promise that was the last one

Stranger: Omg I'm going to hell

Stranger: why do I think of this shit

You: I wasn't expecting but 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: that sounded so much better in my head then I typed it out I was like wtf are you doing like are you fr fr bouta send that

You: You're fine 😂😂

Stranger: Okay I give you promise to shoot me if you would like

Stranger: I get i totally get it

Stranger: promision holly fuck my phone won't let me type

Stranger: Your like wtf he is dumb he obviously did not pass the second grade

Stranger: well jokes on you I am in the second grade

You: I'm dying actually, you're stupidly funny😂😂😂😂

You: Are u always like that?

Stranger: sadly yes do I want to be no

Stranger: God was like lets make this kid dumb asf and say cheesy things to ppl

Stranger: and I'm good at it

You: at least you're good at something, isn't awesome?😂😂😂

Stranger: obviously did you not read my pickup line like bro master piece

You: you know, you seem like that kinda person who gets embarrassed easily 😂

Stranger: Like God told me to use that pickup line on everyone so i did the only person that did not seem to care or even talk to me was the light poll outside my house

Stranger: Idk imma get it to talk to me one day

You: the light poll outside your house 😂

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: I've been trying for years can't seem to crack it yet

Stranger: I'm telling u one day its going to talk to me

You: I don't think u should do this but if u need me i'm down😂

Stranger: for what

Stranger: I should not do what

Stranger: oh shit

You: hey hey hey liste

You: listen*

Stranger: Okay im listening

Stranger: all I hear is music omg are u connect to my speaker

Stranger: Connected

You: ok so my family's calling me to lunch...i really gotta go, but can u keep in touch?

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: yes

You: yes?

Stranger: yes

You: yes!

You: what do u have?

You: idk even ur name

You: i'm sarah by the way

Stranger: Um Noah and snapchat insta Facebook venmo

Stranger: PayPal

Stranger: uber eats

Stranger: Yeah

You: ahahahhahaahahah

Stranger: I can text you on any of those

You: oh uber eats? really? i didn't now that

Stranger: yeah im ceo so I get all the secret stuff

You: ooooh you're ceo damn

You: anyway 😂

You: I do have insta & snap so..

Stranger: yeah did you know u can order food on there

Stranger: Lets do snapchat

You: yeah ofc i know that

You: ahahahhahaha

Stranger: oh you did

You: okay so it's scarval

You: ooops

You: scarvalhando

You: ***

Stranger: Boom added off uber eats

You: can we order food someday?

You: it would be awesome

Stranger: yes

You: okay noah

You: what's ur insta btw? i could follow u there as well

Stranger: I forgot I told u my name i was like omg I told a hacker my cheesy pick up line

Stranger: I'm fucked

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

You: Yeah omg i'm a hacker

You: I wish i were tho

Stranger: Oh shit please don't go through my history unless u want to see alot of cars like alot alot of cars

Stranger: And when u scroll down far enough you will see how to talk to a light poll

You: obsession with cars?😂😂

You: ooooh yeah okay

You: it seems nice, i mean, talking to a light poll, isn't?

Stranger: um a little😅

Stranger: idk it has not talked back yet

Stranger: I think its shy

You: oof that hurts 😂

You: okay okay okay

Stranger: I don't know find out on next weeks episode of dose it talk

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

Stranger: featuring little turtule and big fish rick

You: I'm gonna watch this

You: 😂

You: see ya on snap then?

Stranger: its gonna be lit and okay

You: i gotta gotta gotta gotta go

Stranger: by Sarah thank you for letting me use my cheesy pick up line on you

Stranger: bye

You: Anytime!!! 😂

Stranger: and u will hear more from my dumbass

Stranger: oh and ill lyk what my mom thinks

You: I hope 😂

You: okay i'll be waiting

You: Cya

Stranger: Okay byeeee

You: byeee

You: skip

[jawnjendes]

the fog will clear up | shawn mendes

chapter 13/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: sry its short and definitely a filler im sry its boring but it helps build up stuff thatll happen next ok ok im sry

*let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist

Annalise woke with a start. She was wide awake immediately. There was no room for sleepily rolling around the sheets, her eyes weren't heavy like always. She didn't know what dying and coming back to life felt like, but she was pretty sure it felt something like that. She had a weird urge to go for a jog.

Staring at the ceiling, Annalise reached towards the nightstand next to her, intending to grab her phone. Her hand touched the bottle, and she picked it up anyway, reading the prescription label.

Annalise Flores SERTRALINE 50MG TABLET Brand name: Zoloft

"You don't waste anytime, huh?" she murmured before setting it back down. Then, she grabbed her phone and checked the time.

8:47am. A new fucking record. Annalise rolled out of bed, unable to stay still.

In the 2 hours she had to kill before work, she tidied up the dorm, ate a decent breakfast, took a shower, and got started on the course work she had to make up. The energy levels were through the roof, she had never been so on edge and productive at the same time. Why wasn't she put on sertraline sooner? Sure, she felt hyperaware and borderline anxious, but that was apart of the process of getting on a new antidepressant. She was getting things done this way. Sure, she jumped when the lock on the door jiggled, but she was up and running anyway!

If she wasn't, she wouldn't have seen Stella entering the dorm. She was surprised to see Annalise on the couch, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh… I thought you were asleep. I'll, uh, I'll come back."

"No, wait!" Annalise sounded a little too frantic, but it did stop Stella from leaving. "Uh, come sit down! Please!"

Stella narrowed her eyes slightly as she went to the couch. At least she was willing to listen.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," Annalise began, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. A stupid guy isn't the only good in my life. I have you. You matter to me, and I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't." She really couldn't stop herself from rambling. "I miss you. I miss seeing you here between classes, and I miss your optimism because a bitch could use some of that. And, and I'm sorry for the negativity I've brought in here. I'm working on it now, I swear. Just… come back. Come home… because bro, you're my wife, dude."

It could have been funny, but there was nothing funny about the way she said it. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was rubbing her hands together. Stella merely blinked her hazel eyes, nearly overwhelmed by that string of words.

"Look at you, expressing your emotions," she said after a while. "I can see why you hold it back."

Annalise nodded rapidly. "It's my first day on a new medication. Got me all sorts of hyped up, but I'll mellow out in a couple of weeks. And I'm taking therapy seriously again!"

Stella was surprised. "Oh, I see. Well… I've missed you too. Bro…"

"Bro?"

"I'll come home too. Camila's bed is too small for the two of us."

"Bro…"

"I know. I have to update you on all that."

"Br-"

"Okay!" Stella broke out a smile and stood up. "Dame un abrazo, puta."

That was much easier than Annalise had anticipated. She stood up and hugged her best friend, relieved. Stella wasn't one to hold a grudge, nor was she as stubborn as her roommate. It was another person to cross off the list.

~

Shawn had social media mainly to get his music out there. Yes, he interacted with his friends on Snapchat, and some fans on Twitter. Most of the time, Shawn just tweeted when he had new music coming out. He didn't check any of his social media very often, not even to stalk Ann's accounts because she was rarely on her's. He didn't even have his notifications on, purely to keep himself from the possibility of getting too attached to the opinions of random strangers online.

That was why he woke up that morning to a number of texts from Camila.

"SHAAWWNWNN"

"SHAWN IM LKTERSLLY BALD RN"

"CHEKC UR TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"YOIR FOLLOWERS!!! AAHSKSKSK"

"SKSKSK SHAWNMM IM SCRAMING"

So to Twitter he went. Shawn rubbed sleep out of his eye as he went to his profile. He had around 10k to begin with, that he built up on his own over the last couple of years. He nearly dropped his phone on his face as he read the new number.

50.2k

"What… the fuck?" he breathed out as he sat up in his bed. He scrolled through the list, making sure this wasn't a series of spam bots.

His mentions were just as wild, and it explained the sudden blow up.

@hollaestor: @shawnmendes hiii bella told me to follow you

@samxriv: @shawnmendes i am free to hang out on tuesday to hang out when i am free

@gisellenjh: @shawnmendes bella sent me here and im glad she did! loving your music!

And there were plenty more like that. There were so many tweets, Shawn couldn't even get through all of them. It was making his head spin. There was only one Bella he knew about too… He just couldn't spell her last name. Thankfully, her handle was just @bellasanti, and it was the first one to pop up when he typed it in the search bar.

Right under Bella Santiago's name and the blue checkmark were the two little words: Follows you. Shawn refreshed the page ten times before it sank in. This YouTuber, who has over 2 million followers, somehow found Shawn's music… and she liked it. She liked it enough to tweet about it… 3 days ago.

@bellasanti: underrated spotify artists: @shawnmendes. give him a listen. send him some love. truly talented guy💖

Shawn had only overheard Bella's videos when Ann was watching them in the other room. He never really watched any of her content. But he wanted to pass out at the fact that she took the time to listen to his music and tweet about him. He wanted to jump on the bed. He wanted to call-

He texted Camila back. "Wtf why did no one tell me sooner?? This is so crazy!!!!!"

"We thought you knew and you were keeping it from us!! LMAO congrats rockstar!"

He couldn't believe it. His follower count was rising. He was getting emails from Spotify saying his songs were being added to many different playlists.

@shawnmendes: @bellasanti wow thank you so much! Love you bella❤

He deleted the last bit before tweeting it. Holy shit. Shawn lied back down on the mattress, completely breathless.

How does someone like Bella Santiago find Shawn out in cyberspace? What Spotify rabbit hole did she go down that led her to him? How many of his songs did she listen to? How many songs did she save to her library? How many of those playlist emails were from her? Shawn had so many questions.

~

There were two things Annalise noticed when she was out on the courtyard after Biology. The first thing was a table on the side of the walkway, with a handmade banner hanging off the front. It read in big letters: Shawn Mendes: Live at The Cameron House. Brian, Alessia. and Camila were all sat on the same side at this table, talking to a student who was interested in the little display.

"The lounge called back," Annalise muttered to herself.

The other thing Annalise noticed was Patrick sitting under a tree nearby, reading a book. She went to him first.

The last time she had spoken to Patrick was when they cut up flowers together. He was never one to explicitly state when something has upset him, and he has seen Annalise in a depressive episode before. Annalise knew him well. Patrick kept his distance because he didn't like the negativity around her, and he couldn't afford any more of it himself.

"Hey," she greeted.

His blue eyes tore away from his book to meet her gaze. "'Sup?"

"Trying to be less fucked in the head," she told him.

Patrick nodded in approval. "Cool."

That was all that was needed for the two of them. Content, Annalise turned and went for the table. A small line had formed when she wasn't looking, so she waited behind the last person. However, with three people running the thing, Annalise got to the front fairly quick.

"Oh, she actually showed up," Brian chimed, amused.

"Meaning?" Annalise asked.

"Thought you were too pissed at Shawn to care about his show, that's all."

She swallowed the pit of annoyance, discovering that even more people knew about that. Brian is his friend, though, of course he'd know.

"Selling tickets or something?" Annalise turned her attention to the two girls.

"Yeah! Ten dollars a piece!" Alessia explained.

"Cool, I'll take one."

Just as she opened the flap on her book bag, Camila spoke up.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure Shawn said he wanted to buy you your ticket himself."

Annalise rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not here and I can do things for myself." She pulled out her wallet and paid her own goddamn ticket.

Camila breathed out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna let him do anything nice for you?"

None of your fucking business.

A new thought occurred to Annalise. "Why are tickets being sold for this show? Aren't his gigs usually free?"

"There's more production going into this one," Brian told her. "The lounge gave him the option to make it a ticketed event, and we need to make back what we already put into it. So now, it won't be a performance, it'll be Shawn's performance."

Shawn already knew how to make an audience his bitch, but…

"Alright then." Annalise shrugged and then accepted her ticket and receipt from Alessia.

The ticket alone was already quite extravagant. There were little red roses designed around the edges. This boy really loved his fucking flowers.

"I'm guessing rose petals will fall from the ceiling or something?" she guessed with a chuckle.

"I was given strict orders to not spoil anything," Brian told her, folding his arms.

The two had a mini staredown until Annalise shrugged again. "Whatever."

Then, Camila piped up again, suddenly excited. "Ooh, Ann did you hear? Bella Santiago followed Shawn on Twitter!"

"She what?" Annalise stupidly replied.

Camila practically squealed. "She gave him a shoutout too! He's blowing up on Spotify! Isn't that awesome?"

Annalise wanted to say something, but her brain wasn't quite caught up yet. So she just walked away.

The other three students watched her leave. Needless to say, they were confused.

"Is she ever gonna be happy for him?" Alessia wondered.

"I think she was excited?" Camila said tilting her head.

"I can't believe Shawn is going through all this trouble for that," Brian said with a scoff.

"I can still hear you!" Annalise called over her shoulder as she kept walking.

All three of them went red in the face, embarrassed. Brian would have made a comment about her being a vampire with supersonic hearing, but he didn't want to be called out again.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou  @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnvvmendes @shawnsunflower @shawmndes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @mutuallynotmutual

[hyuckles-chuckles]

alphabet soup

@screechingaussie​ tagged me in this, thank you love!

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag some blogs you would like to get to know better

age: 20 years, 2 weeks and 6 days lol

birthplace: south africa

current time: 18:46 cat

drink you last had: a coke, i just went to the movies

easiest person to talk to: an irl friend, we snapchat everyday i feel like that’s the best way to talk to people the only problem is the forgetting the convo lol

favorite song: BOOM BY NCT DREAM - STREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAM IIIIIIIIIIT

grossest memory: earlier this week i used my metal straw for the first time pls save the turtles and i left it by the sink in case i wanted to drink some more juice and for some reason i sucked on the air and there was a tiny fly in there i didn’t know about and i spat it out and almost threw up yay for me

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

in love: with haechan

jealous of people: i’m only jealous of that rat that got to see exo before i did

killed someone: i killed my friend today in a video game it was fun because i didn’t think i would kill his character

love at first sight or should i walk by again: unless you are oh sehun you should walk by again

middle name: adriana my dudes

number of siblings: 1 sister

one wish: to travel the world

person you called last: my friend because i wasn’t sure if he knew where me and our other friend were

question you are always asked: how i got my accent or where i’m from

reason to smile: friends and family

song you sang last: call me baby by exo

time you woke up: i think 8:30

underwear color: lavender

vacation destination: lit rally anywhere

worst habit: being lazy in general and procrastinating

x-rays: i got one when my leg fractured after i jumped off a wall at the beach when i was 5

your favourite food: it’s not necessarily food, but i’ve been into sour candy recently

zodiac sign: cancer baby

tagging: @ismycapsloudenoughforyou @mimoyujae @neo-cult-ure

i’ll be tagging more mutuals in more tags to come okay loves!

[khakikyrie]

@revolutionaryhearts is no exaggeration literally the most beautiful person on the planet I have actually never seen a more beautiful human and this is a callout post bc I’m offended by how pretty she is wtf. 

[insomnia-without-limits]

@mommas-b0y

What was my muses 5 last sent texts yours?

[TEXT]: WHOMST

[TEXT]: UR NOT TRAPPER

[TEXT]: hold on. Is your name Jason Voorhees, by chance? I think Bubba mentioned that he met you once

[TEXT]: Bubba Sawyer, that’s correct!

[TEXT]: oh I’m Quentin. Quentin Smith

What was my muses 5 last unsent texts yours?

[TEXT]: how’d ur number get on my phone anyways???

[TEXT]: holy hell ur tall

[TEXT]: thank you for not killing me on sight

[TEXT]: can you beat up Freddy for me plz

[TEXT]: I heard about what happened to you from Bubba. The bullying, the drowning, what happened to ur mom... Fucking hell. Jesus Christ, my dude, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that shit to happen to you

What was my muses last snapchat to yours?

((I genuinely don’t know so???))

What my muse saved your number as?

Lorg Boi

What contact photo my muse has set for yours?

What ringtone my muse has set for yours?

Default. Doesn’t need a custom one, since Jason can’t talk and therefore wouldn’t call him

How many times my muse has called yours this week?

Once. He was going on auto pilot, and felt like an ass. All he heard was someone going ‘Ki ki ki, ma ma ma’ before the line went dead. Spooky

How many calls has my muse missed from yours?

[exadorlion]

new years emotions ft friend

ok ok this is gonna be the friends thing that i hate doing bc i’m emotionally constipated but!!

@midnigtartist

heyyy best friend!! i know we haven’t been talking a lot like we used to but i’m still glad we stay in touch! i’ve lost couple of people and knowing that i still have you makes me overjoyed!!! thank you for being there for me and ur friendship literally warms my heart, i hope we connect more this year and i might go to chi for graduation so!!! maybe we’ll meet!!!

@cndyalmonds

heyyy gf! i know this is a /friends/ list but we started off as friends so! i just want to say how gorgeous and beautiful you are and every time you screenshot my selfies i get offended because ur so much better than me? and i’m sorry that coldstone’s kicking ur ass AND i hope next year is better!! also i love our little 420 things and our forgetfulness as we repeat the same stories and say “what” everything snapchat deletes our convos!! stay charming baby bitch

@somepicassoshit

hey bro! i’m glad i dragged u down to sw and trust me TJL ain’t that good fam! i love ur cat and ur humor is shitty like mine so we’re tight as fuck,, we don’t talk a LOT but i’m glad we’re still talking to each other because wow ur amazing and u deserve more!! one day i’ll visit maybe probably and we should totally get drunk my dude

@ghxstii

we barely became acquaintances but bro i’m sorry the whole ordeal happened with u and ur partners (tbh they don’t deserve you)!! i know you were one of my first followers and i’m glad you stuck til the end and share dumbass stories with each other!! im also here for you because i literally know what is going w ur fam and i feel you,,, ur the first little person i know that i can relate to!! because same!! i hope this year doesn’t kick u in the balls!

@raythrill

OHHHHH BOI MY LOVE MY ANGLE!!! honestly ray you legit mean the world to me,,, we’re soulmates for sure (or for me hahah)! not those romantic ones (or could it 😏😏) but through time and space i am bound to you forever, even if ur not bound to me! you seriously make me vibrant and so colorful when we talk and the frustrations and fears we both have, we endure it because life is shit! ik this year hasn’t been the best but my dude, u deserve the best! i hope we can still be friends and talk about vorE hahahahahHahahHAHAHA

@defussy

what’s up!! i know this year hasn’t been the best and night of been the worst but i just want to say i love you?? ur so strong and with ur meme face on snapchat, it brightens up my day knowing ur still trying to stay strong even know the times are tough! honestly!! ur so strong!!! i love you!! we don’t talk as much as we used to but i feel like you deserve the most love this year!! may 2018 not kick us in the ass!

@limpblotter

what’s up my DUDE!!! beans ur probably my go to friend for eVERYTHING! hamilton check, criminal minds check, taz check!! we have so much in common!! i know as the year comes to an end we stop talking but boi!!! you mean the world to me!! i hope we still talk next year and we become closer and talk a fuckton more!! may 2k18 not kill us!!

@peggyshippen

bro bro bro,,, i’m so glad i have you u smart fucker,, ur so kind and so generous and such a mom! i’m glad we’ve meet and u as a person are so amazing and wonderful and i can totally see ur success! just grind the last few years and i’ll see you at some executive seat in the government or smth hahah! i jsut want to say i love you and i hope our 2k18 brings us together

[feraldavestrider]

i never check my mentions apparently @alpacalmond and @uiyutrentasei tagged me in a GTKM thing so im gonna do it oh uhhhh 2 weeks later LOL because i cant sleep and i hate myself

i tag @hal-strider if they didnt do it? and @noctiilucent, @kiyumiarashi, @whimsicmimic and @ataliaf uwu and anyone else who wants to do it!!

how tall are you: this is a cryptid question. i get a different result every time i try to measure myself and ive never asked anyone else to do it for me. some people tell me im very short, others have told me im average height for someone who is afab. im gonna hazard a guess at 5′5 tho.

what colour are your eyes: very dark brown

do you wear contacts and/or glasses: glasses. i literally CANNOT see without them. i mean like 2 inches from my glasses-less face is so blurry its unbelievable. i get super triggered by eye stuff tho so contacts are a no go ALSO i look weird w/o glasses anyway.

do you wear braces: no my teeth r p good actually. one is a bit wonky but thats life

what is your fashion style: i mean 90% panties and a sweaty 4 day tshirt because i just spend all day in my room like a goblin. BUT when i actually go out im ur basic ass post-emo trans dude with skinny jeans, converse and a too-big graphic tee. sometimes i spice it up with a plaid shirt because im fuckin GAY.

when were you born: october 12th 1999, babey

how old are you: 18 motherfucker flashes my titties and gulps a bottle of vodka im an ADULT

do you have any siblings: yes. a younger brother and hes a cunt

what school/college do you go to: im at sixth form rn (last yr of highschool technically if ur american but im not and hs finishes at 16 yrs old here deal with it). im going uni next yr tho and this years almost over for me academically since we go on study leave soon for our final exams. uwu overshares

what kind of student are you: the asshole who never studies for tests and does homework at 5am the morning before and still manages to pull straight As to everyones anger. im also the adhd class clown who makes random noises and cant concentrate half the time. ik i hate myself too im so annoying irl even more so than online.

what are your favorite subjects: in terms of actual content of the subject, english lit fs. in terms of classmates/teachers/general atmosphere DEFFO drama we spend half of our time eating cake, singing random shit and just losing our minds while filming it on snapchat which shouldnt at all be allowed.

what are your favorite movies: god idek. um. fuck. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i cant think of a single movie. ok ok ok i got it: white chicks, premium rush, scott pilgrim vs the world, the cornetto triology too i just love edgar hes such a great director. i like a lot of the marvel movies esp the spiderman hc and thor ragnorok and both gotg were p good. i love a lot of movies my brains just a void that sucks memories up into its fat gob and steals them from me forever.

what are your pastimes: sleeping, crying, used to be rping but i gave up on that, playing overwatch way too much and getting tilted because im shit, reading fanfictions did i say sleeping

do you have many regrets: dude. my guy. come in close. let me whisper in ur ear. are you close? no, closer. ok. 

YES

what is your dream job: whoo boy. im do indecisive and i think a LOT of jobs seem super cool that id never do i.e. be an actor or be in a band. my dream job since i was like 8 was to be a writer which is unlikely since i cant even finish a pwp oneshot. but thatd be cool. id also like to write plays and direct them but thats also wild and v dream > reality. 

would you like to get married: honestly. marriage as an institution? angers me. i dont like a lot of things about it. BUT. part of the reason i hate it is honestly if ur in a long long term relationship with someone ur better off married than not in terms of the benefits so. id happily get married if the other person wanted and/or we felt like it was the right thing to do, i just dont really care about being married or having a wedding tbh.

do you want kids? how many if so: no. hard pass. i might adopt if im long-term with someone who SUPER wants kids but that likely wont happen because i dont want to get into a long-term relationship with someone so desperate for kids since i dont have that same enthusiasm. sorry. ill be ur uncle gabe but im not having my own children im just not well equipped to literally have a full time job of making sure little idiots (meant affectionately) who dont know fuck from shit dont just straight up die. i can barely do that for myself.

how many countries have you visited: shit dude actually ive only visited like... uh... 4??? a lot of my holidays tend to be to the same countries (portugal/america) so i dont have that much experience like i feel like i do.

what was your scariest dream: hmmmm. when i was a kid i had these recurring dreams where i worked at this like. “zoo” where these MASSIVE, i mean ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE string rays that were also pancakes were like. hooked up to make electricity? anyway i hated the job because we all abused the rays super bad to make them generate the power and it sucked and it was all dystopian. there was stuff where like we had to kill the baby rays and stuff. anyway one day it went all planet of the apes and they broke out somehow and could fly and they killed loads of people and i had to go into hiding because they were super clever and could id who had worked at the zoo plant and wanted revenge. its super weird ik but this is pretty tame for my dreams they go HARD and BIZARRE and this one always made me wake up feeling super sick and scared idk. ur welcome.

do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other: no im lonely but its ok because i need to work on me 

put your playlist on shuffle and without skipping the first 15 songs: ok so i dont really have a “playlist” per se so im just gonna use my top 100 2017 songs on spotify which ignores a lot of my non-spotify non-2017 bangers but whatever.

1) ‘My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark’ by FOB

2) ‘Tuxford Fall’ - Vasudeva

3) ‘Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued’ - FOB

4) ‘Fried Noodles: Getter Remix’ - Pink Guy, Getter (listen ive never watched any filthy frank he weirds me out but this is a banger)

5) ‘Brick By Boring Brick’ - Paramore

6) ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmrs’ - FOB (i really dont listen to this much fob this is crazy)

7) ‘Death Note L’s Theme Goes Metal’ - Charlie Parra del Riego (theres no defence for this)

8) ‘Turnstile’ - Vasudeva

9) ‘Idle Worship’ - Paramore

10) ‘Monster’ - Paramore

11) ‘Miss Missing You’ - FOB

12) ‘The City’ - Madeon

13) ‘Far Too Young To Die’ - P!ATD

14) ‘Don’t Stop’ - Nothing More (really this is the band i listen to much smh these results are so skewed)

15) ‘Smile Like You Mean It’ - The Killers

[softboyholland]

mj gets knocked up in her last year of college

she goes to harvard and he's mit

so she barely ever sees him

and on top of that, he picks up the whole spidey thing again

so when they reunite things get rlly heated obvs

but then

she gets pregnant w his CHILD SKJKJK

and she finds out like a month before her finals

she keeps it to herself

although she knows the right thing to do is to tell him

but tbh she couldn't even if she wanted to

that’s how busy he is

so now her hormones are x100

and then the daily bugle's front page is of spider-man kissing some girl

WHO IS NOT HER

AND THAT IS THEIR SPECIAL upside-down KISS

ok so great whatever right

it totally does not matter at all that this

GIRL MUST BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL SHE'S EVER SEEN

but whatever

he was probably on the spot so he had to do it

it's fiNEEEE

then they schedule a date

and mj decides that enough is enough

and not telling him that she's carrying his OWN CHILD is a lil stupid

but that date is a disaster

bc for the most part of the date, he only talks about some girl called gwen stacy and some grand scheme between the two of them that she wasn't even listening to

and then in the 20 min mark, something happens and he leaves because he's gtg save the world!! wooo

and whatever she's not even surprised

so she goes home

and from simple googling, she realises that gwen stacy is the same person he kissed the other day

well isn't this rich

so now she's afraid

and she's never been this afraid because WHAT THE FUCK

MAYBE HE WOULDN'T WANT THE KID

and maybe she should abort her child

(that she's already grown attached to) but she doesn’t know that

so she calls liz and tells her about her plan and her dilemma

and liz tells her to take another pregnancy test

because maybe she's been cutting down on all her caffeine for nothing

and liz does that thing that phoebe does to rachel in friends

(for those of u who have never watched friends, liz tells her that the test came back negative and michelle starts tearing up because she's been attached to this baby already and now it's just gone so she's crying but then liz says that she lied and that the test is actually positive and michelle realises thats she wants to keep the baby)

and they both scream when they realise that there's a tiny smol growing inside of her

and michelle is crying omg

but then, she has a bigger problem

aka the father of this tiny smol

ok so liz tells her to wait until the whole gwen thing blows over

and that if peter doesn't come to his senses, she's going to take this whole gwen thing into her own hands

but somehow she finds herself looking at her reflection in the mirror, two weeks later

her hair is a greasy, knotted mess, at the top of her head, and there's a teeny tiny bump that most ppl mistake as a food belly there are dark circles under her eyes, and her skin looks rlly dull and her eyes are all red and puffy

then she thinks of gwen and her perfect eyes, and her perfect face and wow!

now she feels like shit

but whatever, she decides

because rn she just needs to get thru her finals

which are in two weeks btw

bc she will find a job and she will be able to support her baby

she knows it

so she studies like hell right

but then she takes like a practice test and she F A I L S

FAILS

MICHELLE JONES NEVER FAILS

and then she finally snaps

because her overbearing parents are going to kill her for getting knocked up by some white boi who doesn't even love her anymore

and now she's never gonna graduate from uni and she'll never be able to support her baby financially

and her parents aren't even going to help her because they'll probably disown her

then peter shows up at her apartment

and she wipes away her tears

but peter isn't stupid

um hELLO??? HE KNOWS WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE HAS BEEN CRYING

but she goes in for a kiss

and wow! he's missed her so much

then things start getting heated and she pushes him away'

and she decides to break up w him

don'T BLAME HER

HER HORMONES ARE A MESS RN

and then peter gets pissed

because he's stressed too

and don't think he hasn't noticed her distant replies to his snapchats and his texts

SO IT BECOMES A FULL BLOWN FIGHT IN HER APARTMENT

AND THEN FINALLY HE LEaves

and maybe the hinges on her door are a little loose bc of him slamming it so hard

but don't be fooled he never actually L E A V E S ???

like duh

he just stands outside her apartment and listens to the faint sobs coming from inside

and although he wants nothing more than to go back inside and to apologise and hug her, he knows that it's only going to make things worse

so he calls ned

when ned gets there, they spend 10 mins silently arguing outside of her apartment

then finally ned goes in

and well when peter slams the door behind him, mj breaks down

because her life has officially gone to shit

and she calls liz and liz is telling her to calm down and that she'll be there asap

but when the door bursts open and ned comes walking in

she decides that this is probably liz's work??

and when ned hugs her, she doesnt say anything but she subconciously holds her belly

then ned looks down at her and he's like

are u on ur period dood

bc maybe this is just a hormone-induced fight and peter's making a huge deal out of it

but she takes one look at her belly and starts crying again bc she's reminded of her situation

ned, as oblivious as ever, hugs her until she stops crying

so when peter hears mj crying again as he nervously paces outside her apartment

he groans and nearly hits liz

wait

liz toomes allen??

what's she doing here

then he remembers that oh ya right she's close to mj

and the first thing she does is hit peter across the head

gr8

"that's for hurting mj"

and then mj caves and tells ned everything

and finally, she gets around to the pregnancy part

NED'S CRYING NOW

BECAUSE OMG HE'S ONLY EVER DREAMt OF SPIDEYCHELLE GETTING PREGNANT

but then he subtly texts peter

'DUDE GET UR BUTT OVER HERE NOW, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.'

but no reply because well, he's too busy fuckin having a heart-to-heart w liz

turns out that the whole gwen stacey thing was a scheme

bc gwen stacy was losing her job at the daily bugle and her boss is only interested in spider-man shit

so gwen, his childhood best friend before ned, who knows about his secret identity, offered him a job at the bugle in exchange for some news

and they kissed at some public event and now peter isn't in debt anymore because he has cash

also gwen is gay lol

eventually liz and ned leave

and peter is still contemplating leaving mj alone but he ends up falling asleep on her doorway like a creepy creep-creep

then he's woken up at 12 am bc of his spidey senses

and he bursts thru the door and finds mj on the floor, clutching onto her belly as if her life depended on it and there's a hint of tears in her eyes

now mj doesn't have spidey senses like peter so she has no idea that he's been outside her door for the past 2 hrs

so he helps her up

and then she's like 'sorry, i fell and i landed on my butt and i nearly thought i lost em-'

peter nods because thATS TOTALLY A NORMAL SENTENCE YES VERY-

wait

'you lost what?"

MJ PANICS

welp here goes

then she leads him to the couch

"pls don't freak out."

"that's what you said when you first kissed me so..."

"ok, well, um, remember that night after the uh the battle in manhattan.."

peter smiles

BECAUSE BOYYYYYYY, DOES HE REMEMBER THAT NIGHT

PHEW THAT WAS LEGENDARY

"right ok, so you know there was a lot of tension, and urgency, i guess we kind of forgot to use uh protection."

she gauges his reaction

but he seems normal

she takes a deep breath because wow she's really saying those words

"peter, i'm pregnant."

and he's still nodding along in understanding

jesus christ

but then his eyes widen and

wait

"holy shit! y-you're um, wow! wait, is it mine?"

she smacks his arm

"yes it is, you fuckin idiot! i wouldn't cheat on u!"

"right."

and then silence

"look, i'm keeping them. if you don't want to be involved in this whole...thing, then fine. it's your choice. i'll figure it out on my own, i don't need you any-"

"woah, woah, hold the phone. why are you already taking my child away from me?"

"because, PETER!! i don't think you'd want a baby with me, of all people, after going around and kissing gwen!!! and with your finals coming soon, and with spider-man duties!!!."

"so, that's why you've been so distant! michelle..."

and he explains the whole gwen thing to her and he assures her that he still loves her very much

and that he's been in love w her ever since they were 17 and he still is even when they're 23

"so, you still want to.." and she looks down at her belly

"yeah."

then she starts crying because of her finals and what if she never graduates and she's so glad that he's with her on this

and he kisses her sweetly, her tears on both of their lips, as he tells her that they're going to figure it out together

and that, my friends, is the story of how peter found out about michelle's first pregnancy

[cityofnumbersix]

Electric Moment - Chapter 11 - Bonus 2

READ ON AO3

MOTHER POST

-

Bonus 2: Return of the Filler

Bonus: After The Drop-Off

Katsuki wasn’t going to lie, returning back to his own apartment after having dropped off Kirishima was kind of a bitch. They lived on completely opposite ends of the city, and trying to make his way around the stations, on and off each last train before it departed was the second most irritating thing he’d had to deal with tonight. He wouldn’t complain though, not when he’d been the one to make the decision in the first place. He knew in the back of his mind that taking Kirishima back to his own stop would mean he’d be rushing around trying to make trains before he was left stranded, but at the time all that had really mattered was making sure the redhead got home so that he didn’t have to deal with Mina’s wrath if the drunken boy got himself into any more trouble than he already had.

And maybe, somewhere, in the back of his mind, he’d wanted to partially act on the manners his parents had drilled into him from a young age. “Make sure they get home safe Katsuki” –though ‘they’ at the time had most certainly been ‘she’.

Katsuki was currently pressed back into the warm patch of seat where Kirishima had previously been sitting. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t sat down himself before, maybe it was the fear of being too close to Kirishima, of pressing their legs together, brushing their shoulders, but now that he’d sat down, he relished the relief the action brought to his legs, that he hadn’t realised were quite so tired until now.

Katsuki relaxed into the seat behind him. It was stiff, but the heat that radiated up from it was a comforting contrast to the chill he had felt when the train doors opened upon different platforms, letting in waves of the city’s early morning breeze. He tried his best not to think of Kirishima, he really did, but the harder he tried to fast his mind would flicker back to the bathroom. With his eyes pressed shut in a drowsy fashion, the memories of blood and the feeling of Kirishima’s hard abdomen under his fingers played like a picture show over the back of his lids.

His phone was continuously vibrating in his pocket. He assumed it was probably Kirishima, a reason he’d never allowed the boy to have any more than his Snapchat in the first place –he did suppose a few would probably be his friends though, Ochako, Deku, checking up on him and asking why he’d left without a second word. He’d come up with a lie later, a believable one that didn’t involve pretty red heads and bootleg Marvel Comic attempted rapists, but only once he’d drank some water and gotten some sleep.

The vibrations continued, one after the other, and it got to the point where Katsuki was pulling his phone from the depths of his back pocket, the skim of his fingers along the denim of his jeans being a subtle reminder of how Kirishima’s own fingers had done the same, less than half an hour ago.

When he pulled his phone out, there were a series of different notifications. He was correct about Ochako and Deku, but there were even a few from Mina asking if he’d seen Kirishima, if they were both okay, because no one else had seen them in a while. The rest were indeed, Kirishima and Katsuki absently wondered why the boy had the time to spam the shit out of Katsuki, but couldn’t take two seconds to let his own best friend know that he was alive and well.

The notifications from Kirishima varied, at first they were just Line messages, simple drunken things like:

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: omg I just saw Ms Nakamura from next doors cat run into the alleyway behind her house.

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: Do u think it will get mad if I try to touch it?

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: Im not sure where this alleyway goes tho

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: omg BakuBro I see the cat

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: omg I’m going to send u a picture

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: nvm she ran away

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: omg Im 2 drunk for this

Something jumped from within Katsuki’s chest, and he swore it wasn’t his heart. It wasn’t his place to take care of Kirishima, nor was it his responsibility to worry about whether the guy was running around intoxicated through alleyways that he didn’t recognise, but still. A part of him had wished he’d picked up his phone sooner, so that he could tell Kirishima that those actions were most defineantly not a good idea.

He also did too, almost swapped out his Line app for the phone one. Considered hitting Kirishima’s number, dialing him just to make sure the idiot hadn’t gotten himself killed. That was until he read on.

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: Ok im out of the alley

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: that was super exciting

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: like an adventure

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: lets go on an adventure one day dude

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: ok im home

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: I hope ur almost home 2

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: u should reply to me soon so that I kno

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: safety is important

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: u should always have a train buddy

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: thats wat mama says

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: thx for being mine

Katsuki shook his head as he peered down at the messages that littered his screen. He may have even laughed a little, drawing the attention of another passenger, the only other one who was on the train. They peaked up at him, and Katsuki glared, shooting them down and snickering proudly to himself as the guy let his own eyes drop.

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: Omg

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: omg

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: holy fuck

(LINE) <3 Kirishima <3: im gonna show u something on snap

(Snapchat) New Snap from Red Riot

(Snapchat) New Snap from Red Riot

(Snapchat) New Snap from Red Riot

Katsuki blinked down at his device. The screen was glowing brightly, illuminating his face and making his eyes hurt just enough that it was irritating. There was something within him that began to rumble. He wasn’t sure what it was that Kirishima wanted to show him, but for some reason the possibilities were turning his stomach into a mess. He didn’t understand why. It was probably just something dumb like another cat, or a some other strange, yet completely mundane thing like that. Looking back at it, he should have trusted his gutt, shouldn’t have opened the pictures in public, even if his only other company was some tired looking dude who was probably now far too afraid to look up.

When he opened Kirishima’s snapchat messages, he was bombarded with three –for once brief, pictures of Kirishima. The first one was of his face as a whole. His eye was more swollen now, and had started to take on the deep purple colour of an eggplant. It looked painful, even though the screen of Katsuki’s phone. The next picture was still of his eye, but it was up much closer this time, and Katsuki could see the way the skin was risen high against the phone, the red tinted edges of the forming bruise.

“Fucking intense.” Was the caption on both of them.

It was the next picture though, that caught Katsuki off guard, sent his body into hyper drive and may have even caused a temporary outer body experience to occur.

It was another picture of Kirishima, but this time it was of him standing in front of a full length mirror. He was in what Katsuki assumed to be his bedroom. He could see the set of bunkbeds in the rear of the photo, the mess of what he assumed was clothing and other items that littered the floor. A mess presumably belonging to both Kirishima and Kaminari.

In the picture, Kirishima’s shirt was most probably amongst that mess, because it was no longer present upon his body. His torso, chest, and broad arms were on display, the phone held up above his face and flash shielding what would have been the outline of his head, and his hair. Kirishima’s pants sat loose and low on his waist, unbuttoned and held up only by his underwear and thighs.

That’s when Bakugou saw them, four finger-point bruises lining the area beneath Kirishima’s navel. They too, had begun to turn purple, but were still red around their perimeter. Fresh, new, and Katsuki knew almost immediately where they had come from.

“These ones are my favourite tho” the caption read, and everything Katsuki was currently feeling went straight to his groin.

Katsuki ghosted the ends of his own fingers along there area of his own body where Kirishima’s bruises lay. He dusted his touch over his own abdomen, eyes staring down at the screen of his phone as the photo ticked away, before disappearing completely. Katsuki had done that, he knew it for certain. It was when he was panicked, when he had Kirishima pressed up against him behind the vending machine at the train station. He’d known at the time that his touch had been too rough, but he’d been more concerned with making sure that Kirishima didn’t accidentally give away their position, that his wrists had become ridged, and he’d been unable to let up.

Katsuki wasn’t sure what to say now. He had both his hands on his phone, thumbs typing out a multitude of different responses. Anything that he could think of in response to the pictures. Kirishima had sent them to him, he’d wanted Katsuki to see them, and Kirishima knew that Katsuki knew it had been him to inflict those marks. He didn’t know how to respond however, what to say. He typed out apologies, jokes, rants, but nothing stuck, nothing felt right. So he simply types out:

BakuBae: That’s what you get for being such a loudmouth. Had to shut you up somehow.

Katsuki’s mind was still reeling. A part of him hoped that Kirishima had already passed out, surcome to his drunken body and fallen into a deep sleep where he wouldn’t see Katsuki’s reply until morning. Katsuki hadn’t even had the chance to lock his phone though, when his Snapchat began to flicker beside Kirishima’s name.

Red Riot is typing…

Red Riot: Kinda takes a lot more than that to shut me up

Red Riot: tho im not complaining

Red Riot: strong string fingers u hav there

Red Riot: bet they’re good for more than just guitar

Surely this wasn’t happening. Katsuki was far too drunk. Maybe none of this had really happened at all. Obviously he was already home, drunk, deep in sleep and having some kind of toxically realistic wet dream, because he’d been too drunk to actually release his frustrations before sleeping. There was no way that Kirishima was flirting with him, this wasn’t flirting. This wasn’t suggestive flirting directly after Kirishima had sent Katsuki a shirtless picture. Things like this just didn’t happen.

BakuBae

Just how fucking drunk are you?

Katsuki typed out with shaking fingers, positioned the text over a quick snapshot of the train floor. He glanced up over his lashes for a moment, making sure the guy at the other end of the train was still preoccupied with his own device, replying to his own messages, or playing some stupid game against the surface of the touch screen.

He knew he didn’t really have any reason to be nervous. From the outside, he probably just appeared to be having a normal conversation with someone on his phone. No one could tell that he had just been sent a couple of suggestive messages from his drunken band mate, his drunken band mate who was exceptionally attractive, and who may or may not have been the subject of Katsuki’s thoughts for weeks now.

The reply didn’t come straight away. For a while, Katsuki actually believed that this time Kirishima had actually passed out –that whatever situation that had just been arising, had also passed with the closing of his eyes. But then his screen lit up in his grip, and Katsuki, with his leg jumping up and down, free hand tugging at the tight fabric of his jeans, didn’t even hesitate to open the notification.

Red Riot

It was another picture of Kirishima’s abdomen, but this time it wasn’t in a mirror. Kirishima was presumably laying down, the edges of his hips fallen shallowly into the depths of what appeared to be a blanket. He was in his bed, and he still didn’t have his shirt on. The picture was closer this time, and Katsuki could clearly see the intensity of the bruises he’s made on Kirishima’s skin. There too, was the navel piercing that had driven Katsuki insane the few times Kirishima had decided to show it off, but now it was on full display in the picture, glimmering under the flash of Kirishima’s camera.

“Hardly” It was captioned, and Katsuki swore he was ten seconds away from blacking out.

Katsuki run his hand along the length of his own thigh, eyes peering down at the slight tent that now edged along his thigh. It was embarrassing, but he had been drinking, and it’s not like it was something that he could control. Plus, Kirishima was totally, like, saying all this with purpose right? Even someone like Bakugou could see that, but his brain was a mess of so many things. So much had already happened tonight -his first concert, Deku’s dumb boyfriend, being attacked, Kirishima saving him from being attacked. It wasn’t Katsuki’s fault he was reacting this way, if anything; it was completely unavoidable in every sense. There were a lot of emotions there, and a pretty boy flaunting himself all over his screen. What’s a guy to do in this kind of situation?

BakuBae:

You’re drunk, idiot

It wasn’t what he wanted to say. If anything Katsuki really wished he could indulge himself right now. It had been so long since he’d let himself have that, to let himself crave another person and let go of all the tension he built up inside himself for sport. He wanted to give Kirishima the responses he probably expected, but he was raised better than that. Plus, he didn’t want to start something he knew Kirishima probably wouldn’t want to finish. They were the same age, but Kirishima seemed younger in some ways, more curious, less experienced. It would make sense, with the way both Mina and Kyoka seemed to want to protect him from almost anything, from Bakugou especially. Maybe there was something they knew that he didn’t.

Red Riot is typing…

Red Riot: u don’t have to do anything

Red Riot: if you don’t want to

Red Riot: but I kinda do

Red Riot: idk

Red Riot: maybe it’s the adrenaline from hittin that guy

Red Riot: but ur really hot

Red Riot: u probably kno that tho

Red Riot

The next notification to pop up was a picture, and Katsuki allowed himself a few seconds to breath as he considered whether it would be a good idea to open it. There were so many things that could go wrong with this situation. Suddenly, every warning that Jirou had given him previously, all started to come together and make a whole lot of fucking sense. This guy, Kirishima, he was really hard to say no too, so fucking hard to resist.

Katsuki tapped his screen, watched as another picture of Kirishima’s abdomen came up on the screen. Same angle, same bruise, same piercing, but Kirishima’s jeans were nowhere in sight now. Maybe they were on the floor, or maybe they were pooled around his knees or ankles. It was really hard to tell from just a picture. Katsuki kind of wanted to ask, but at the same time there was no way he was going to let himself buy into this. No way was he going to allow Kirishima to realise how very weak he already was for him. Katsuki was stone, solid and jagged, holding in an intense inferno that no other human would ever be able to control.

The picture faded from view.

Red Riot: Im gonna take ur silence as a yes

Red Riot: b cur silences always seem to mean yes

Red Riot: I like that about u y’know

Red Riot: u don’t hav to say things

Red Riot: bc people listen anyways

Katsuki gaped down at his screen, head reeling as he attempted to process Kirishima’s words. Was this what sexting was to guys like him? Polite compliments and rambles scattered with teasing pictures of his highly worked body and killer abdominal muscles? He wouldn’t be the least bit surprised, it was Kirishima after all.

BakuBae: Im on the train dumbass

It was meant to be a warning, a kind of “You don’t have to do this, you shouldn’t do this”, but it ultimately failed, because Kirishima sent through a series of messages anyway, followed by a picture than Katsuki was yet to work up the courage to open.

Red Riot: Thats ok

Red Riot: u don’t have to do anything

Red Riot: I mean like

Red Riot: it would be cool if u did

Red Riot: bc then at least I kno im doing it rite

Red Riot

Another picture of Kirishima lit up Katsuki’s screen, and this time, almost as immediately as he looked at it, Katsuki felt himself instantly tilting his phone in a direction that he knew would protect it from any wandering eyes. Mostly because, this time, the picture was less of Kirishima’s chest and abdomen, and more of the length of his toned thighs, spread wide against what Katsuki certainly knew now was his bed. Kirishima laid there in only his boxers and on closer inspection, Katsuki could quite easily tell that he was at least semi-hard beneath them. Kirishima’s hand –the one that wasn’t handling his phone, had its thumb looped in the hem of them, pushing them down his hip on one side.

If Katsuki wasn’t hard before, he most definitely was now. He tried to hold back any visible response other than that from his body, however. He kept his face stiff, but casual. He never once looked up from his phone –he didn’t want to seem like he was on the lookout for wandering eyes, though this was insanely difficult, because all he really wanted to do was be on the lookout for wandering eyes.

Kirishima was either nervous, or really eager, because no long after Katsuki had opened his most recent picture, another one was already there, ready to be opened. Katsuki didn’t want to keep him waiting. He didn’t want to make Kirishima feel insecure, even if he really should have been stopping Kirishima from doing this in the first place.

Red Riot

The next picture was a little different. Kirishima’s boxers still tilted to one side from where he had tugged them down in the last picture, but this time the angle had changed once more and Katsuki was peering up and over Kirishima’s body. He could see the rise of the boy’s boxers where his member sat hard, flush beneath their grip, and Kirishima’s hand was up near his face, fingers teasing his mouth, cheeks pink and blotchy with presumably intoxication and arousal. He looked good, insanely good, with his biceps bulging and hair let loose from its previous tie –allowing for it to fall and frame Kirishima’s face.

Red Riot: I was attracted to u from the first time I saw u

Red Riot: but u could probably tell

Red Riot: thats y I got ur snapchat from mina

Red Riot: I was kinda pissy she kept u to herself

Red Riot: pls forget I said any of this in the morning

Red Riot: I kno its super embarassinf

Red Riot: its just ur really great

Red Riot

Kirishima followed his ramblings with yet another picture of himself. This one had Katsuki choking on air, gasping as he inhaled a mixture of oxygen and his own embarrassment. The guy up the other end of the car twitched when he did, looking up, only to be shot down by another one of Katsuki’s murderous glares. He wasn’t sure how much of an insidious affect it probably had, with his face assumed to be as bright as a tomato and his back hunched in order to shield his progressive issue in his pants. Maybe he would just look really drunk.

The picture, as it were, was far more provocative than any of the ones before it. Kirishima was sitting up now, propped against a wall, underwear pushed halfway down his legs, his length in his hand. He held the phone above his head, an aerial view of his entire form. His thumb was teasing over the head of his dick, and Katsuki couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if it was his own hand in its place. How would Kirishima react, what would he sound like? He’d make him feel good; he knew that for a fact. He’d work his way over Kirishima’s body, finding every single place that made the redhead twitch; anywhere spot that could potentially make the younger boy dissolve.

Katsuki may not seem it from the outside, but he took pride in the way he cared for his lovers.

Katsuki was sunk deep into this phone, so far that he didn’t even notice when the next thing that came through on his app wasn’t actually a picture, but a video. He didn’t even consider the consequences when he immediately pressed it, the sound of Kirishima’s voice radiating out into the once quiet air of the train carriage.

“Bakugou…” Kirishima’s voice whined out through his phones speaker, causing Katsuki to flail his hands, dropping the device to the floor in front of him, and if he’d been doing a good job at concealing what he’d been up to until this point, he wasn’t anymore.

Everything around him appeared to go still in that moment. Katsuki could do nothing but sit there, in shock, staring down at the backside of his phone, its screen still lit and washing the edges of itself in its own light. He didn’t know if his fellow passenger was watching, but he probably was. There was no way he’d missed that in what had been one of the deadest silences in the history of silences.

Katsuki drew in a breath alongside the sound of the train’s automated announcement providing him with the necessary information that this next stop, would be his. He was grateful for it, because no matter how much stone Katsuki built around himself, there was absolutely no fucking way he was going to be able to continue sitting in this train car with that stranger after he’d just played Kirishima’s sex driven voice out loud like a symphony.

Katsuki scooped his phone up from the surface of the floor, just as the train began to shudder to a standstill. He gripped the device tightly within his fingers; eyes flickering up to knowingly meet the gaze of the man downwind from him, who watched him curiously, knowingly. Katsuki could do nothing but attempt to put up his wall. He smirk, smug and deep like it didn’t matter to him in the slightest if this guy knew what he’d been doing. He even made a show of it, adjusting himself in his pants so that it would be more comfortable for him to walk, not bothering to be subtle in any way.

Once he was off the train, that’s when he let himself breathe for the first time since Kirishima’s corpulent moan of his name had hit his ears. It was colder outside than he’d anticipated, and the chill from upon the platform was almost enough to cool the head of his skin, wind hitting his flushed face, neck and arms. Everything within him burned, with want, with desire.

He gazed back down at his phone, screen blinking as it vibrated repeatedly within his grasp.

Red Riot: uh so like was that too much??

Red Riot: I don’t kno ive never done this before

Red Riot: I dunno I just thought it might be hot for u to hear

Red Riot: do u think so???

Red Riot: oh shit

Red Riot: fuck I think someones hoem

Red Riot: ive gotta go

Red Riot: thx for like

Red Riot: letting me do that

Red Riot: yeah

Red Riot: don’t forget to call me in the morning!

Red Riot: I cant wait to hear ur voice ;)

Red Riot: be safe!

Red Riot: gn

Katsuki hovered in his place for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. It was dead cold outside, and he was in nothing but a pair of jeans and a t-shirt –his jacket still being with Kirishima, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to move. He just stood, staring down at his phone, the messages from Kirishima, the memories of what had just occurred running races around his brain. He wasn’t much sure how he was supposed to react, but Kirishima seemed to feel casual about it, so maybe that was a start.

Kirishima had also said that Katsuki should forget this in the morning, pretend like it had never happened. Katsuki was good at that, acting like nothing had occurred, even when it was something near impossible to forget. He told himself that he’d do that. That he’d follow Kirishima’s wishes, and he wouldn’t bring it up. He told himself it was for Kirishima’s sake, but somewhere deep down, what he was really choosing to do was to protect himself.

With nibble fingers, and a few taps across the cold glass of his phone screen, Katsuki types out a final few messages.

BakuBae: its fine Shitty-Hair

BakuBae: gn

And that was that.    

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[fthisimkmsing]

My notes cause I don't need them anymore (not a hail Mary attempt)

To the girl I've spent countless hours and days with I still love you more than life itself even though I may not need you i want you in my life your cute little smile when you fuck something up or when you can't reach something and you need my help your laugh and smile is euphoric and your character as a whole is amazing i love spending every waking moment with you you have been so helpful and kind to me hell you got me through many tough times and I'm sorry I am so inactive and don't like going out much I'll try to work on that but i just wnant to hold you in my arms forever and keep you close to me and safe you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous you will make a wonderful mother one day to our children or otherwise and I envy whoever you end up choosing if it's not me there's a couple of things i want to do again with you like another concert where it feels like just you and me or another round at the fair itd be wonderful i love you Rebekah so much I hope you know that and I miss you a lot too its 2 am so im gonna go to sleep goodnight  i promise if i have anymore to say ill come back and add on sleep well my beautiful angel <3 funny thing is im typing this to make myself feel better like im talking to you even though you probably won't ever see this i pray that you will find what you need in life you mean so much to me i told my new coworker about you and how gorgeous and smart you are i really wish i could just tell you all of this but you want me to stay away  i really hope we find our happily ever after whether it be together or apart but you will always be so many of my firsts and so many of my fondest memories <3 today I told my new coworker how proud I was of you getting your car and how you bought it yourself i really miss hugging you and cuddling you and seeing your gorgeous ass self you are really amazing and i love you so much I'd die/take a bullet for you in a heartbeat but today i really came to a realization you probably won't like to hear if you get back together with me i realized that even though im a little chubby and should really work out more i am the whole package I will be a great husband and have a great future and whomever decides to come along for that ride would really enjoy it i feel so if you weren't to come back you're missing out on a guaranteed great husband and great future which yes i know confidence much maybe almost downright cocky but I'm happy with what the future holds for me and whomever decides to come with me and if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times i wish it could be you i really do cause despite my being scared of you potentially cheating I have faith and deep down i know you won't cause you are honest and real with me (unless you weren't in which case awwwkwaaarrrdd) but yeah you'd be a great mother and whoever you marry will be lucky and happy they have you and same thing for me :) you know the funniest thing anytime i text anyone and so ok i love you too your name pops up first in my next word choice box cause that's what I did i loved you hell i definitely still do and for some reason if you asked me to marry you there would be no hesitation no i need time to think just one word yes cause that's who i am and that's how head over heels i am for you i want to hug you bad hell I'd give away my paycheck to fucking see and talk to you again and make you fall in love all over again you did something no one and nothing could do you made me truly happy like true true happiness i love you so much Rebekah sleep well baby girl I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow you are the bestest ever forever <3 lol today was my first ever college football tailgate with my church college group in Greenville today was also one of those days I was sad but i wasn't at first i was fine just felt a little out of place but quickly threw myself in and i got away from everyone for a bit and checked snapchat and saw that you finally got your tattoo and I was so happy for you but sad at the same time cause I wanted to be with you maybe get one with you but sadly i missed that milestone

Im sorry for missing your first tattoo I wish i couldve been there for you and with you im so proud of you cause your tattoo couldn't be truer you are coming from nothing and making big strides that's a big accomplishment I love you hell maybe I'll get a tattoo soon you never know i saw the flirting posts that i "liked" so i unfollowed you on everything cause it hurt so much i like instantly started crying and what do they have i don't you are killing me it broke me all over again i did everything I could to make you happy i tried so hard and it feels like you're really not fighting or trying to better yourself it feels like you just want to get with someone else cause I wasn't enough for you my efforts meant nothing today a Sunday night i was with my small group and you "accidentally sent me a video of you showing off your new tattoo the day or so after i removed you from all social media since i found out unfriending doesn't make me disappear on your end so i blocked you sorry but i have to thank you for understanding and being respectful so recently I've really been going after God and it came to my attention that i was wanting you to be something you can't be and weren't designed to be aka i wanted you to satisfy me completely which is impossible only God can do that also i lusted after you so much even though i had so much love for you aswell but my lust being me using you for my benefit aka my happiness and stuff was wrong i should've been more loving aka sacrificial of myself to benefit or help you and I'm so very sorry about that i wish i couldve been a better leader for you sadly for right now at least it seems i am too late hey i just wanted to say even if we don't get back together I'm really glad i met you you were a wonderful first also you'd be proud of me i was gogogo for 17/18 hours from 4:50am to 9:53pm thats kinda insane for me lol I'm so happy today like i feel hella blessed and loved and it's not necessarily from a person i just feel so in touch with God rn i know ur probably like smh but for real im like on fire its awesome but i just wanted to let you know even though you might never see this and if you do its been a hot minute lol but it's not to hurt you it's to show you i guess my self improvement slash progression of life in general i suppose  also just wanted you to know but im sure u already do you are a really beautiful woman and I am saying that cause i can appreciate a beautiful woman you don't have priority anymore but i just wanted to let you know that god bless that was hard to explain but even that is obscure IM NOT HITTING ON YOU IM JUST APPRECIATING GOD'S CRAFTSMANSHIP BAM there we go ok so just looked at pictures of us on my phone and hot damn you fine lol (still appreciating the craftsmanship) hey its been a bit i went on a retreat with fuse and it was amazing i met a lot of guys and girls and am continuing to talk with some of the girls but the more i talk with them the more i miss talking with you i really wish we could at least be friends again but i guess not :( I'm glad I met you Rebekah you were a fantastic first girlfriend I just want you to know im not mad with you i respect your decision wholeheartedly you were great and hell I'll say it I miss you you were really fun to hang with i wish to tell you this but alas I'm here and you're nowhere to be seen in my life and I can almost guarantee you're not as affected and definitely not to the degree I am (it's not so bad for you you have to  journal your experience of life without me) part of my heart is with you and always will be because the sex we had same thing with you part of your heart will always be with me and im sorry for that today i thought about you and when you told me that you imagined us sitting on the porch in rocking chairs and it kinda made me think and i was like you probably gonna come back and I hope you do but if you don't that's highly unfortunate  it's felt like months since we saw eachother last but it's only been like 1 and a half  longest month of my life tbh

Its 9/23/19 I'm gonna talk to your mom tomorrow after i get off work to check up on how everyone is doing you will probably hear a little or everything that's going on with me it may not attract you in fact it's very possible it'll repel you but hey it really doesn't matter you're an awesome girl and I'm a pretty cool dude lol if you decide to go separate ways that is your choice and I'll respect it even if it saddens me because I'm moving forward  which is something else I never thought I'd be where i am today this early but I hope you you do come back you did make my life happier but now I'm happy even without you which is awesome I swear to never rely on you for my happiness I will look more towards the Lord and walk towards him with you by my side and no more big mistakes oh btw I talked with your mom and I'm glad I did your mom is a good mom I really miss you and your family and I keep praying for you guys and for clarity of who I'm meant to be with or if im not supposed to be with you at all and last night I dreamed about you so I think that was God telling me i need to be with you but I don't know I want to be with you don't het me wrong but I don't want to misinterpret my dreams it's now 9/27/19 and it hurt me to hear you were dating someone tbh but I'm glad you are getting out there and I'm happy for you regarding how well you are doing at church what I don't think is good is that you're dating someone that doesn't know the lord he has someone for you that knows and loves him thus you shouldn't be in that relationship in my opinion but as i said I just want the best for you

" we do bible shit"