#UNFORTUNATELY THE POST REALLY RESONATED WITH. THE PEOPLE

[sergle]

hi sorry to bother. i'm trying to find this one drawing that i'm like 99% certain you've done of like, the default appearance of every white queer person regardless of labels. like some short haired androgynous bespectacled person who you know at minimum 3 of. and everyone kept saying that 'that's literally me' because of course it is. did i just vividly make that up. i cannot find it with tumblr's notoriously bad search function. i wanted to make fun of my boss and like 5 separate other people i know.

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUP THAT WAS ME you are not crazy. this was the art

this is the post this is another version of the post

[its-a-beautful-day]

Been thinking about how it feels, being the wild child

the struggle of not feeling human, when emotions get too strong,

when hands feel like paws and teeth become fangs, shoulders and hunches raised in anger and low growls of fear,

somehow this body language is easier, is more natural than my own

[chaoxfix]

.

for people unpacking religious abuse and fundamentalist upbringings, the real way to heal yourself is to stop allowing value systems complete and utter control over your life. only you can fully define your own beliefs and how your experiences shape them; don't let value systems redefine you. you should never have to fully remake yourself for any belief system. you should not have to 'repent' or unmake yourself, or shave yourself down to fit into a new mold.

if you must find a new community, find out the core of what they really believe. figure out if it matches your own. find a belief system that matches what you prioritize, the world you want to see, and how you can contribute to that on a small-scale. never have blind faith. find groups where asking questions and good-faith debate is not just tolerate, but encouraged.

don't just run in the exact opposite direction of the systems that hurt you. because i promise you, if you don't know what you're running to, there will be groups, or individuals, that take advantage of your blind faith and vulnerability. they will tell you what you want to hear, and tell you who else you could be, with them. but there is nothing wrong with you, at your core. find a group that is willing to to work with who you are, and who actually is interested in positive change in the world around them. not just a dismantling of the old, but a positive contribution to the world.

[musical-chick-13]

I have to periodically go into the character tag because that's the only way to find fanart and meta.

Unfortunately. Well. I have to. You know. Go into the character tag.

[helianthus-tarot]

FUTURE SPOUSE: Why will you choose to be in a relationship with them?

As written in the title; however this is mostly for people who hold a stronger feminine energy in their connection with their fs. I posted the extended version on my Patreon which includes why they will choose to be in a relationship with you 👀❤️ There are also other 80+ readings on Patreon so definitely check it out, pick a card reading is posted every week plus extra mini pac every month! 🎉

Disclaimer: Here | Instagram: Here

Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!

Like my readings? Tip here!

PILE 1

Why will you choose to be in a relationship with them: Ace of Swords Rx (Knight of Pentacles), The Lovers, 10 of Pentacles Rx (6 of Cups), 3 of Swords, The World. 

For many of you, I don’t think you’ll think much before deciding to get into this relationship. The decision may be motivated by pure feelings and spiritual pull instead of logic and practicality. If you chose the same pile for the previous section, the spiritual pull is quite similar to what your person will be feeling, it’s just that... they will perhaps have a more grounded and pragmatic acceptance/view of it; “if we end up breaking up, that’s unfortunate, but the connection will be appreciated (by me) either way”. But your spiritual pull will come with some anxiety. It’s like, you will really want it to work. You’ll acknowledge that it may not be forever, you’ll know you would still learn from it and the connection would still be an important part of your life journey even if you guys ended up breaking up, but you’ll hope it won’t end; and this hope will be mixed with some anxiety, unlike your person’s (which will be imbued more with acceptance instead of worry). 

Some of you will get into this connection because you are subconsciously motivated by a desire that stemmed from your childhood; something you lacked when you were a child. So if you didn't get paternal/maternal love, or stability growing up, your person might give off the vibe that they can give you that, and you’ll get drawn to them because of that. You will also be able to sense that this connection will be spiritually significant, spiritually enriching and that you will be able to grow through this and become wiser. Maybe your person is or looks intelligent and experienced, maybe they come from a different place/country, and it makes them appear like they hold a wealth of new experiences (to you) that can expand your world in some way. Like I said, I feel like you’ll mostly be guided by your intuition, maybe your soul will be seeking this lesson or this experience and it will recognise that your person can give you that. 

Some of you will be guided by your own pain. This is quite similar to the message above, but this pain may be more related to romantic love instead of your childhood. If you have suffered a broken heart before, or has had bad experience in love, you’ll hold hope for a true love connection. And so when you meet this person and feel drawn to them, it’s likely that you’ll feel that this person is your person. Whether they are truly your The One or not, this doesn’t negate the possibility that your attraction to them may at least be partly driven by your old pain/wound. Just keep that in mind. Check in with yourself regularly. If we are drawn to something/someone because of old pain, this can put fear and anxiety of losing that thing/person in us, and it can make us behave in a way that is not really healthy. That’s all. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make your feelings for them any less real, it’s just that past pain can trigger some unhealthy behaviour if it goes unchecked. 

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Why will they choose to be in a relationship with you? Will it be love at first sight for them? Will it be because of what you bring into their life? Find out here! ❤️

PILE 2

Why will you choose to be in a relationship with them: 3 of Swords (The Sun), The Devil, Death, The High Priestess, 6 of Wands. 

I’m addressing this reading from the perspective of the person who’s got a stronger feminine energy in this connection. I think for many of you, you will choose them because you think they can provide relief from your pain, like, they will end that difficult period of life for you. For some of you, your person may not appear that way. Usually when we think about people who can provide relief, it probably makes sense to imagine someone who is calm and gentle and peaceful, right? But this person does not come across that way, especially if you choose the same pile for the previous section. Your person comes across fiery; there’s this unapologetic conviction and confidence about them, they are ruthless too sometimes, and could be very goal-oriented. But somehow you will feel like they can soothe your pain, and that’s why you will get into a relationship with them. Some of you will actually love those traits; you will like them rough around the edges, you will like them a little arrogant and uncompromising, you will like their control and their intensity. 

You will also be intuitively drawn to this person; there will be that instant, spiritual or intuitive awareness of their presence and their potential significance in your life. It is also possible that you’ll feel understood when you are with them, or you’ll feel like they can see through you or they can see the real you. So there will be this deep bond between you two, it will sometimes feel unexplainable, it will sometimes feel like they are the only person for you and you them, it will feel Scorpionic. The type of connection where your eyes meet across the room, the type of connection where you are aware of their presence without having to turn around and look for them, you know they’ve entered the room. Sometimes you guys may annoy each other but your gaze will often get pulled in their direction. Something very mystical and deep like that. Those are the reasons why you’ll choose them. 

Since this is a general reading, for some of you, this may be a little toxic (i.e. toxic attraction) so just be aware of that. For others of you, this relationship isn’t toxic (your person may have some questionable traits tho), but you may be right that they can give you want you need/want. Whether or not this attraction is toxic, some of you may also grow obsessive, and this connection can turn unhealthy if you are not careful. You guys will probably have some Pluto contact somewhere in your charts.

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Why will they choose to be in a relationship with you? Will it be love at first sight for them? Will it be because of what you bring into their life? Find out here! ❤️

PILE 3

Why will you choose to be in a relationship with them: 7 of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, The Star, Ace of Cups, The Hermit Rx (8 of Pentacles, The Moon). 

Some of you may have a tendency to get caught up in doing inner work. You know, some people keep watching or consuming content about self-improvement or shadow work, but they don’t really act on the info; they keep consuming it, and as a result they... kinda stay there? This either makes them feel like they are doing something, or it slows them down and it pulls them away from actually living their lives. You may be like that. Some of you may have a belief that you need to work on yourself to be deserving of love, or a belief that you need to change before you can experience love. Some of you are thinkers, you spend a lot of time in your head, trying to understand yourself and the world over and over and you have a tendency to stay there. This person will bring you out of your own head, or you will feel that way when you are with them. And that’s one of the reasons why you will choose them.  

Directly or indirectly, they will make you want to live life to the fullest, to explore things in life and to experience a connection with someone. They will not take away your desire for self-improvement, or distracting you from your inner work; you will still do these, but you won’t just do them and stay stuck at home/in your bubble, you will also go out and live your life. They will make you feel excited about taking actions, about trying new things, about going after your goals and taking risks of seeing your desire/vision materialise. They will make you want to try and experiment, and they will make you feel calm and at peace while you do these things. They will open up possibilities and broaden your horizons. You will also feel more confident around them, more accepting of yourself including your flaws, more honest with your feelings and your shortcomings. If you struggle with self-love, I think you will feel the desire to love yourself more whenever you are around them.  

You will also feel more emotionally fulfilled with them, hence why you’ll choose to get into a relationship with them. They will ‘make’ you feel carefree, happy, and very in touch with your emotions. You will feel spiritually and emotionally enlightened too, being able to see the bigger picture and being able to retain your trust in the Universe and Life, instead of feeling dragged down by all the (inner) work you have to do. So basically, you will not just focus on the negative and serious part of life, you will be able to balance it out with something more optimistic and fulfilling because of your person’s influence. That’s why you’ll choose them. 

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Why will they choose to be in a relationship with you? Will it be love at first sight for them? Will it be because of what you bring into their life? Find out here! ❤️

PILE 4

Why will you choose to be in a relationship with them: The High Priestess, 8 of Pentacles, The Fool, 4 of Wands. 

I think there will be a balance between inner work / self-improvement and enjoying life, which is quite similar to one of the other piles, but not completely the same. I think you will like that they ‘make’ you think; there will be things that they say or do that will make you go inward and get closer to who you truly are. It feels like being with them will make your inner voice clearer, like, you can hear it better and thus you can follow it. They are probably wise, or you will learn a lot from them, and this will make you feel motivated to work on yourself, to do something with your life, to enrich your life, to try again or to try new things. So the connection will make you feel enlightened yet carefree (instead of being weighed down by your knowledge), serious yet light-hearted, committed yet experimental. You will move back and forth between these two energies, they will work seamlessly. 

You will choose them because they make you feel understood and seen, in a way that not many people have been able to do. You will choose them because subconsciously you are also intuitively drawn to them. It’s not that they are mysterious (although they could be), but the connection or your interactions with each other have this enchanting quality that makes you want to sit and talk for hours and sift every section of their mind. There will be soul intimacy that makes you choose them. You will also feel welcomed by them, they will open their arms to you, no resistance at all, so you will feel like you can move towards them very easily. This person could be charming, to be honest. There’s just something with the way they smile or the way they make you feel comfortable and the way they accommodate you. It will feel like they want you to be with them, and you will see no reason why you should resist that.  

You will also feel like you can reach for the stars when you are around them. They will ‘make’ you believe in yourself, in something better, in the possibility that you can get what you want, in the possibility that you can build the life that you want. For some of you, your person may also welcome you into their social circle or family before you guys get into a relationship, they could share their connections with you and let you be a part of their life, so you’ll see what it feels like being with them. And it all may feel very harmonious and joyful, maybe you will feel welcomed and supported (if not by other people, you know your person is there with you to support you; it’ll feel like they won’t leave you alone in this crowd but they will give you some independence and freedom to explore for yourself). It’s like them showing their world to you and gently pressing their hand on your back, encouraging you to take a step forward. This whole thing will make you want to be with them. 

EXTENDED VERSION IS ON PATREON! Why will they choose to be in a relationship with you? Will it be love at first sight for them? Will it be because of what you bring into their life? Find out here! ❤️

[snapscube]

so i don't know if this is a post i'm gonna keep up cause, like i said, i don't really like talking candidly about aspects of my personal identity often these days, and lord knows i especially hate talking about legal identity and all the dissonance that entails. but this week was a pretty big one for me and i can't shake the desire to share my enthusiasm for even just a fleeting moment.

my name has been a sticking point in my mind for a long time. i've adopted many different ones. first, middle, last, you name it. i've been searching most of my life for a moniker that represented my true self socially, and a surname to distance myself from someone in my life who hurt me very badly and never really learned how to stop.

obviously for a long time now I've been Penny Parker to 98% of people who know me, and for the past couple that number has been bumped up to a solid 99% with a few stragglers. it's a name that is so mundane and assumed at this point that tbh I've even come to resent certain aspects of it. which to me is actually beautiful. i find that mundanity, that nuance, extremely telling of how it encapsulates my life. it's a fully three-dimensional reflection, smudges and sparkles and everything in between.

of course, i only just moved out on my own 3 years ago. and unfortunately that had to be the starting point to make this social and personal progress i've been sitting on for half a decade at least now official, tangible, legal. i've been playing a game of catch-up i didn't sign up for, but it's one that does have a silver lining in that i feel more in resonance with who i am and who i want to be than i ever did before being granted this independence.

and as of this week, i have the pleasure of entering an era of my life where the dissonance between who i am in speech and who i am in contract is nonexistent. my name is Penny Olivia Parker. i'm the same as i've always been, but getting better every day at it. soon i'll even have a license to match!

sometimes more of an Olivia Parker in brief moments nowadays tbh but i haven't worked out the details yet. nothin you need to stress over, ill take care of it. the full set is just fine and legally recognized, which is all i've wanted for as long as i can remember.

this isn't the end of my journey, both excitingly and unfortunately haha, but this is yet another huge milestone for me and in certain respects it's one of the biggest i've managed. i'm so happy to still be here. if you're reading this, thank you for being here too.

also those of you who watched my direct reactions the other day might have a little more insight as to why i was so emotional that the day after a judge signed my legal name change a new game by the Sonic Mania devs was announced called "Penny's Big Breakaway" LOL, it was a lot to handle for me but i wasn't sure how much i wanted to say just yet.

[supersunshine10]

Ok tbf tho in the circus special, yeah it’s sad she didn’t go with him , but if you really think abt it if she grew up in the circus all her life she could have felt there was nowhere else for her to go, especially since I don’t think CB’s family wants another pet so yeah nowhere?

But she seemed to really love him more than Genevieve and looked sad to leave him (plus she is literally the only real “main love interest” for Snoopy that he has lol)

As for Genevieve yeah I agree, don’t really care abt her tbh, I mean tbh tho Snoopy didn’t really care that much that she left him but whatever

If anything I felt bad for Snoopy the most (besides the circus one) during a comic storyline in like 1965 with a love interest called “The Beach Beagle/Skating Girlfriend” (you can search on the Peanuts wiki if you are more curious abt the strips she’s in)

(Sorry this got long OP I didn’t mean for it to lol)

snoopy twitter users have moved on from posting snoopy and belle with the caption to posting snoopy and genevieve/fifi, and while that is a step up from incest, she still left him for a golden retriever/stayed at the circus !!!! snitter (snoopy twitter) users will do anything but actually consume peanuts media !!!!!

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

So wooo it's been a while since I stepped foot in here, started posting around May (and then took down the first fic because I didn't like it) and I'm really glad I did because writing is the one thing that has really resonated with me my whole life. 

I reached 200 followers at the beginning of November and now I'm 6 from 300, which, again, is crazy! And I have a tag list now, it's unbelievable. Thank you so much to each one of you, I love you.

So I definitely want to give something back to this amazing community.

Starting today I'm going to try to do a monthly post dedicated to all the amazing stories I've read. 

This month will be a list of all the works that have stuck with me since I have been here, unfortunately I will never remember them all because my memory sucks, but I hope I have included most of them.

I am so looking forward to discovering many more authors (my tbr list is so long, so many fics so little time, I really hope to read more over the Christmas holidays) in the coming months and I hope to grow this little space more and more into something safe, friendly and nice for everyone.

(Feel free to add me on discord if you like and you haven't already, I'm always happy to chat and make friends, you can find it in my bio).

Anyway, let's cut to the chase, it's a long list of outstanding work below the cut: 

• The Wolf You Feed - @arcanefox207 Joel Miller x f!reader

Look, I'm so in love with her Joel. He’s hot, he's grumpy but also comforting, he plays guitar, he feels true to character. So precious.

• BDSMaid - @mountainsandmayhem

Basically, my Roman Empire. Everything about this is so damn good and this Joel? Hello? Please marry me? I will never stop screaming about him. Also, yes, it’s an AU but he feels so Joel, you know.

• Do your worst, Little Dove from Little Dove series - @mountainsandmayhem Joel Miller x f!reader

This changed my entire brain, okay. Probably the hottest thing I've ever read and if you're into sub!Joel this is something you should read immediately.

• Never made it as a wise man and following chapters - @almostempty Joel Miller x f!reader

Never laughed so hard for a fic and honestly, after this I learned that Wed could write whatever and I'll worship that.

• He knows - @almostempty

Lucien x f!reader

The way it’s written it’s out of this world, I loved it so much♥️

• Self esteem series - @almostempty

She managed to make me fall in love with fuckboy!Joel, which is remarkable because there’s nothing I hate more in this world than fuckboys, like I despise them with all my heart but I’m still here wanting to kneel in front of him. Damn, Wed, stop doing this to me. (Jk)

• Paris, Texas - @almostempty

Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña

*laugh hysterically* I want to live in this fic. I want to be reader. No, actually I want to be the fourth.

• Unscripted desires - @gothcsz Javier Peña x f!reader

The way Kat writes Javi is something unique, I don't even know how she managed to write so much about him doing a fucking banger every single time. This one was probably the first thing I read written by Kat and I'm not going to forget my first love anytime soon.

• Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña

I read this series in one day and I was so needy when I finished, jeez! Milla is so damn good and she’s an absolute queen at writing dirty talk, it's honestly unbelievable the way she delivers every single time and leave me speechless.

• Her - from 5 days collection - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader

It’s so dear to my heart (odd to say this about a pegging fic? Probably, but I still stand by what I just said). It was so good that inspired me to write a pegging fic myself and she was so kind about it 🥹 And she was probably the first person engaging with me here and I’m so fucking grateful that she did. Milla, if I have people reading me it’s because you reblogged me and gave me a chance in the first place, I will never forget this.

• Table for Three - Who's your daddy - @aurorawritestoescape Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York

I read those in my early days here and wow Kate definitely sets a bar in terms of hotness for me. So good. And she’s another person that I cherish so much, thanks for being so supportive and encouraging.

• Keep on your mean side - @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader

These two are dead dove queens and this one is simply amazing 10/10 no notes.

• Cherry, Cherry - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader

You have to know something about Adriana, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, just a beautiful soul. I’m still in awe of how she managed to write this series with so many characters and such a rich plot, it’s so sweet and comforting but also angsty and so good, I teared up a little bit at the end 🥲

• Daddy can fix it - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader

Handyman Joel lives in my mind rent free and the fact that this one feature a plus size!reader is the cherry on top ♥️ All bodies are beautiful and should be considered worthy of Joel’s love.

• Like a good girl should - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader

WELL. I mean. This one gave me an inexhaustible desire to be spanked sooo yeah. So hot.

• Flesh for fantasy - @syd-djarin Joel Miller x f!reader

I thought about that for days after reading it and it’s still one of my fav things ever, like my brain just exploded, I remember having a conversation with @almostempty about this. The fuck Syd, you just broke my mind.

• Pink - @netherfeildren

Joel Miller x f!reader

One of the first thing ever that I read in this fandom and honestly sets a bar so high I was afraid to start writing anything. The urge, the need that drips from every word, the way the shaving scene is still stuck in my brain. Wow. Just wow.

• Touch Tank - @thundermartini

Javier Peña x f!reader

So beautifully written and soft!Javi made my heart melt ♥️

• Spiaggia, amore e limone - @thundermartini

Javier Peña x f!reader

It sets in Italy, of course I am the biggest fan of this. And not only that, Javi is so cute, smut is so hot, everything in this fic feels like a warm hug.

• Trēs series - @whocaresstillthelouvre

Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucius Verus

This is the first time I've ever popped into an author's notes and I'm so fucking proud 🤣 Thank you Mallory, you made my day, my week and my whole month 🥹

Plus, this is so good, think about your fav indulging dessert… it’s this series.

• Fifteen - @whocaresstillthelouvre

Din Djarin x f!reader

So comforting and endearing, I love it so much. Like, she made me read Din. I rarely read Din, enough said.

• Do I move you? - @lemon-nomel

Joel Miller x f!reader

I’m so damn proud of her for finding the courage to finally publish this and I’m also honored that she sent me her draft to read 🥹 She’s the sweetest person ever and stood by my side all these months through hard and happy times. Thank you love, for everything and your writing is amazing♥️

• ma’am - @mssalo

Joel Miller x f!reader

Another sub!Joel I won’t forget anytime soon, wow, so damn beautiful, so hot, perfectly executed. I’m so weak for sub!Joel it’s honestly ridiculous.

• So Cal to North Cal - @lotusbxtch

Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller

It features two of my fav Pedro boys and it’s honestly so good. Would love to take a trip with them and not only that.

• Guilty pleasure - @for-a-longlongtime

Joel Miller x f!reader

Typical DBF!Joel? No, it’s not! And I loved that, no spoiler but my jaw literally dropped to the floor lol

• To Dig a Grave - @softpascalito

Joel Miller x f!reader

I love this series so much, angsty and sad but also comforting in so many ways.

• Wherever you stray, I’ll follow - @cavillscurls

Joel Miller x f!reader

I think this was my first omegaverse fic and it was incredible, so beautifully written.

• Big fat tally - @toxicanonymity

Joel Miller x f!reader

I will probably never forget Joel in a harness, it’s carved in my brain, thanks Toxi for providing this delicious image to me.

• In the woods - @tonysopranosrobe

Frankie Morales x f!reader x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller

First sex pollen fic I read and I loved it so much. So desperate, so good.

• How do you sleep? - @thriftedtchotchkes

Joel Miller x f!reader

Honestly so good. Wow.

• each man mad’s desire - @pascalispretty

Marcus Acacius x f!reader

This is so beautiful, it’s like a poem, I still have no words.

• The Real Deal - @strang3lov3

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Oh this one was so damn good, please, this Frankie is perfect. I still yearn to have him.

• Bedridden - @strang3lov3

Joel Miller x f!reader

I’m still laughing, it’s so damn good, well written, funny, sick Joel is unbearable but still the hottest ever.

• Doctor’s pet - @evolnoomym

Dave York x f!reader

Oh this one. I mean I’m a secretary in a clinic, it’s clear I need to work for Doctor Dave.

• Ptolemaea - @lovely-vamp-princess

Joel Miller x f!reader

She just started this and it already feels so original to me, like something I never read before and I’m so curious to see how it unfolds.

• Smooth operator - @penascigarette

Joel Miller x f!reader

Joel calls a sex line and OMG. They’re softer than I thought, so good and funny. Lovely, just lovely.

Happy reading ♥️

[venus-haze]

You're My Best Friend (Homelander x Reader)

Summary: Homelander was a test tube baby, raised in isolation in a cold, clinical lab. But that doesn’t inspire America, does it? Vought tasks you with creating the idyllic backstory for its hero, and what starts as a limited comic run spirals out of control when Homelander himself demands your help in making the story a reality.

Note: Gender neutral reader, but no other descriptors are used. Based on a request by @crash-and-cure as well as a bastardization of one of the sweetest love songs ever written (sorry, John Deacon!) This got kinda meta? Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Emotional manipulation, I guess some gaslighting on Homelander’s part? Do not interact if you’re under 18.

When Vought hired you to create their long-awaited Homelander origin comic series, you were thrilled—until they gave you so little information about his childhood to work with, you weren’t even sure you could come up with one comic, let alone the ten they requested. The details about his childhood were minimal, not even a full printed page—a loving mom and dad, played baseball, did well in school, strong sense of justice from a young age, his friends called him “Johnny.” Your requests to meet with Homelander so you could get some stories from the man himself were constantly denied.

You almost considered dropping the project, until you decided to throw caution to the wind and pull from your own childhood and set it in good ol’ generic suburbia. Some of the storylines were based on your own experiences or things that had happened to people you’d grown up with, though you changed enough names and details to not link it to anyone in particular. Except yourself, of course. Using a pseudonym professionally meant you felt no need to change your own name in the comics. Sure, making your cooler fictionalized self Homelander’s childhood best friend was a bit self-indulgent, but no one would know, really.

To your relief, the editors at Vought loved your ideas, making minor changes before bringing the storylines to their comic artists to bring it to life. The result was Finding Homelander: A Boy’s Journey To Be a Hero. The issues flew off shelves when they were first released, ironically praised for their relatability and authenticity. Vought extended your contract, asking you to produce the cartoon adaptation and another ten issues.

Still, in all of that, you’d never met Homelander. A representative from Vought emailed you to let you know to tune in to his interview on a talk show one day, saying that he’d be talking more about the cartoon project on it. You recognized the host, Tracey, always chipper and having some extravagant giveaway for her audience members. Daytime TV was never your thing, though.

“I think what resonates with so many people is how relatable your childhood is,” Tracey said, holding up a copy of Finding Homelander issue #3, where he saved ‘you’ from getting hit in the face with a baseball at one of his games, catching it with ease. It’d been the happy ending to a short storyline of him struggling to find his place on the team and you encouraging him to not give up. “You and Y/N were pretty close, do you still keep in touch?”

“You know, Tracey, not as much as I’d like, unfortunately. Adulthood can be so busy, you need to cherish those childhood memories,” Homelander said. “I did give them a call when the comics first came out, and wow, the laughs we had over those old antics of ours. Talk about a walk down memory lane!”

You guessed the bullshitting was all part of the promotional circuit for Homelander. Knowing this childhood of his was your own fabrication, you couldn’t help but wonder what else about him was fake. Maybe he wanted to maintain his privacy, you could certainly understand that. You couldn’t shake the voice in the back of your mind that said it wasn’t so simple, that the narrative Vought pushed was a cover to hide something in Homelander’s past.

“Now, I’ve heard rumors of a cartoon show based on the comics in the making, is this true?”

“It is! I’m excited for this project, getting back to my ‘roots’ so to speak. I’ll be voicing myself, of course, but it’s funny you’d bring up Y/N, because they’ve agreed to voice themself, too.”

“How fun!” Tracey exclaimed over the roar of the talk show crowd’s applause and cheers. “I guess this is the hopeless romantic in me, but I hope this reconnection leads to something a little more. I’m just a sucker for childhood sweethearts!” 

Homelander laughed along with the host’s giggles, “Well, you never know.”

You balked at the television, mouth agape. Surely he couldn’t be talking about you. ‘Y/N’ could be anyone with your same features. Vought had probably hired a professional voice actor for the role and were pushing the authenticity angle. The whole situation felt odd. 

When you checked your work email again on your phone, you nearly dropped it on the floor. 

SUBJECT: Meeting with Homelander This Week

The email contained a list of days and times throughout the week wherein Homelander would be free, apparently wanting to meet you to thank you for the success of the comic series and discuss upcoming work. Yeah. That last part you sure as hell wanted to discuss too. You responded with the soonest time available, in a meeting room in Vought Tower the following evening. As soon as you hit ‘send’, you wondered what exactly you were getting yourself into.

Anticipation filled your gut as you went about your day leading up to meeting the supe himself. What would he be like, really be like? Was there even a version of Homelander that wasn’t hopelessly manufactured for the masses? You knew then that his upbringing was a lie, and thus stood the probability that so much else was, too. 

When you stepped into that meeting room, you hadn’t been expecting his face to light up at the sight of you. 

“Homelander, hi, it’s great to—“

“No need to be so formal, Y/N! You can call me Johnny, just like old times,” he said cheerfully, in on a joke you clearly hadn’t been aware of.

“Sorry, Johnny,” you said, playing along. “It’s great to see you again.”

He pulled you in for an unexpected hug that you returned. “Figured we should catch up before things really start getting crazy, don’t you think?”

You nodded, your nose brushing against him as you did so. Just as your lips parted to offer an apology, he smiled, shooing away the assistant who’d accompanied him out of the room. 

He sat down, motioning for you to do the same.

“Gotta say, I’m a fan of your work,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m not sure I understand exactly what’s going on, though.”

“What’s there to understand? I’m not allowed to know more about my best friend, our lives together growing up?”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Wasn’t hard for me to put two and two together, but considering everyone else around here has their head up their asses, they have no idea,” he said, before lowering his voice conspiratorially and giving you a charming smile. “I haven’t told anyone. What’s a secret between friends?”

You nodded, overwhelmed by the intensity of his attention on you. “What do you want to know?”

He sighed, resting his head on his hand. “Everything.”

So you told him. Not quite everything, of course, but enough to abate his curiosity. At least for the time being. His interviews were sharper, more specific with details rather than rattling off whatever had been in the comics. You watched in shock as convincing photos of his Little League days were posted to his social media accounts, anecdotes provided by his increasingly frequent conversations–or more like interrogation sessions–with you, but in his style, of course. It was almost scary what the graphic design team at Vought could accomplish, not that you’d ever know how, exactly, as they were all under the same strict NDA that you were.

He started spending more time with you, too, and after a while, it did seem like you were old friends. Part of you flinched whenever you called him Johnny, because Johnny wasn’t even real, but with your complacency, this fabrication was slowly morphing into a strikingly tangible memory. With each conversation, he drew you deeper into the world you’d been paid to create for him until you found yourself slipping up.

You’d been showing him a goofy stuffed monkey on your desk, a cute little thing with big sparkling eyes. A prize for getting two out of three at the ring toss. Probably spent more money winning it than it was actually worth, but it was about the effort, the memories made.

“You remember, don’t you? You won it for me at the county fair,” you said without thinking.

He laughed in agreement, as if he actually had. Except he hadn’t. Your high school boyfriend won it for you a week before graduation. Sensing the mood shift, he set down your prize and looked at you with the same intensity he had when you first met.

“It’s been a while since we were there, huh?” he said. “Why don’t we go back?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Go where?”

“Home.”

With a strong arm around your waist, he took off for your hometown. You could hardly tell which way was up or down, he was flying so high, but he didn’t seem to mind the way you clung to him at all. When he finally landed, you recognized the community baseball field where all of his fictional games were set. 

“Geez, it’s like nothing’s changed,” he said cheerfully.

You looked at him in disbelief. How long was he going to expect you to go along with it? Or maybe the question you should have been asking was, how long were you going to enable him? The end wasn’t anywhere in sight as he took your hand, and you walked him through your childhood, further enmeshing him in it until you arrived at the house you grew up in. 

The middle of the day, no one was home, and so you let yourselves in like you owned the place. Suddenly, the house seemed too small for a man like Homelander to occupy, but he was engrossed in the details of it. He scanned the kitchen, no doubt inspecting the contents of the fridge and cabinets with his x-ray vision. Moving onto the living room, he stared at photos on the wall, the magazines and DVDs that were strewn on the coffee table, giving away your parents’ taste in entertainment.

“Which one was your room again?” he asked.

You swore you could feel his breath on the back of your neck as you wordlessly led him to your room. Each step down the hall felt dangerous, as if you were about to walk into a trap. Face-to-face with the closed door, you opened it, standing aside while Homelander looked around, from what you had hanging on the walls to the knick-knacks you’d left behind.

An uncomfortable tension settled over the room when Homelander closed the door of your childhood bedroom. An odd blend of hurt and amusement spread across his face as he observed the way you were eyeing him, body ready to fruitlessly run from him the way a rabbit would a hawk.

“C’mon, after how long we’ve been friends, I would never hurt you,” he said, as if reading your mind. “We’ve been through so much together. I mean, we were each other’s first kiss.”

You froze. Issue #9. That was something Vought’s editors had added, claiming a romance angle would make the series appeal to the younger female demographic. You hadn’t thought much of it at the time.

He slyly backed you into the wall, leaning over you as you slinked down the slightest bit.

“Show me how we did it,” he whispered, his hand caressing your cheek. “So clumsy and nervous, I can even feel you…quivering.”

“Homelander, I don’t know what you’re—“

He tsked. “Y/N.”

You let out a shaky breath, “Johnny—“

He hummed in satisfaction. “It’s alright. I know it’s been a while.”

You let him kiss you, sweetly in a way that put your actual first kiss to shame. His lips were soft against yours, his tender movements intentional as he cradled your face, pulling you the slightest bit closer to him when you kissed him back. 

A sense of familiarity settled over you, warm and comforting like pulling a blanket out of the dryer on a chilly evening. Every time it seemed like you were beginning to overthink the situation with Homelander, he drew you back in with the kiss, a more than effective distraction until you pulled away with a dazed smile on your face.

[redwineandtarot]

in your eyes...(what do your eyes tell?)

hi! i'm back at posting finally! today's pac was inspired by the weeknd's song "in your eyes". like the title we'll get a look at what people see when they look in your eyes. take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3

🕯️my youtube subliminal channel🕯️ (new!)

Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.

pick a pile

pile 1-2-3

i do not own any of these pictures

pile 1

People see someone pure at first glance. Also they see, almost, a childish joy. You may have doll-like eyes(do not have to) or just a doll-like gaze. But behind this soft and pure look, if someone looks deeply inside your eyes they can see the warrior inside you. You may have a pure look to your eyes but you also have lots of passion and spark inside them. I don't know how to explain but this soft look of your eyes does not give the impression of you being a weak person. (I know that being soft does not equal to being weak but some people think this way unfortunately.)

Your inner light shows up in your eyes. People sense that you are quite comfortable in yourself and with your life. Your eyes may also calm people. Whatever happens, you always have this calm look. 

Also a lot of creative spark shows up here. Maybe people notice how your eyes light up when you speak about (let's say you're a musician) music. They sense your passion through your eyes.

I also feel renewed reading your pile. You probably give this feeling to people with your eyes. 

You may feel things deeply. And this shows up in your eyes. Your eyes may be very expressive. Like whatever you feel it shows up in your eyes. Even if you try to control your facial expressions. 

I don't know how this can be but people see that you're a mystic person. Like you are highly intuitive. And to people this shows up in your eyes. From your eyes you give this “I trust the universe” type of calmness. Some people also think this mindset helps you be bold and calm at the same time. They also see lots of potential in your eyes.

Your eyes also give people belle (from the beauty and the beast) vibes.

these energies/placements may be prominent in your birth chart: leo x2, taurus; 10th house, 4th house, 3rd house ; south node, mercury, north node

thank you for reading <3

pile 2

Pile 2, my dear, are you ok? How have you been? I really get a heavy energy from your cards. You may be going through a tough time right now. If you need, please contact someone for help. Spirit also says there’s no need to rush. You do not need to be at a certain point in life at a certain time.

But back to the main topic. You may be an introvert. Or maybe just for this period of time you have decided to go on a hermit mode. To be frank, people see the pain in your eyes. The people who know you from the past know that you are this king/queen that has belief in themselves. That’s why they are shocked and worried. You may be going through a tough time. I don't know how long this has been going this way, pile 2. But I just want to give you a big warm hug.

You may sacrifice yourself for others a lot. You have that self-sacrificing feel to you.

These times people may be focused on the agony in your eyes. However if I were to describe other times, I would say they see royalty in your eyes. The unshakable self-confidence. Knowing that living your best life is your birthright. 

People also see wittines in your eyes. You probably are a very smart person (This smartness can be about various things btw). But also you have this look that gives people the sense that you carry deep wisdom. And a look that makes people think you are firm in what you believe in and not afraid to express yourself.

these energies/placements may be prominent in your birth chart: libra, sagittarius, cancer; 1st house, 7th house x2 ; mercury, uranus, moon

thank you for reading <3

pile 3

You are mysterious, pile 3. When people look into your eyes they get puzzled. At the same time they dwell in. I strongly sense scorpio-pluto energy from you. Actually not just me, people can see the chaos in your eyes too. You are not afraid of transformation. And probably you go through big ones a lot in your life. You are not afraid of what other people deem as dark. And have this really intense gaze to you. You really captivate people. 

People can see the loyalty in your eyes. They think you are loyal to the ones you hold close to your heart. Ride or di3 type of thing. You have this reliable look to you. Especially for your inner circle.  However people also see that you are not afraid to leave something if it does not serve you anymore. Also that your intuition plays a big role in this. Like people think you have this knowing/intuition whether a situation/person is good for you or not.

All this while people also may think that you focus too much on material things. Some romantic partners may only see lust in your eyes. And that's why they may feel bad if they want an emotional connection. And your partners probably get addicted to your eyes. To the point where they think “I don't want to look at anyone's eyes but pile3’s”. 

Your close circle can also see the joy in your eyes when something makes your soul light up. 

You also have this wise look. You may have a lot of knowledge about dark arts or you may be on the left hand path. While most of the people cannot see this, they still sense you have some knowledge that is far(?) to them. 

You have a luxurious gaze. You ooze self confidence and self contentment. Also from your eyes people may think you can know the future somehow.

these energies/placements may be prominent in your birth chart: sagittarius, cancer, aries; 12th house, 10th house, 8th house; saturn, pluto, jupiter

thank you for reading <3

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: message from your secret admirer

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: message from your past lover/crush

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile 1

they lack self-confidence to get close to you - they might even not trust themselves around you. they might fear acting up or looking foolish around you. they are very apprehensive about taking action and you not accepting them as they are.

they find your personality very sexy. it's like they enjoy when someone takes charge - you don't mind taking up space and making your presence known and they adore that. your ambition, drive, and authoritative personality is addicting to them.

of course, they find you attractive - they worry that you don't find them attractive... they think that you won't take a chance on them and that you might not be open to a relationship/date with them because of how they look.

you are supportive. maybe you supported them or encouraged them in some way, or maybe they have seen how you interact with the people you care about. they can tell that you are a genuine person.

its wild; i feel like this person has a very active imagination. they might dream of marrying you or what being married to you would be like. they like the idea of walking with you on their arm. i feel like they wonder if they wait long enough and linger in the background that perhaps you will make the first move. they really like you. they think about the timing very often - they believe that you are the one for them. they really hope that you feel the same and are attracted to them. this is beyond lust for you - they love you.

pile 2

this is going to be a by chance meeting - you aren't going to run into each other everyday. you'll have a very positive few days with this person then it will be one of those things where it's like do you or don't you. perhaps this will be a "the one that got away" moment.

i feel like the connection is moving too quick for there to be much visibility into whether or not they even know much about you. so this connection has to make its own hold pattern - slow down a learn a bit more about each other. if someone peaks your interest, ask for their number.

i feel like you are out of your element with this connection. you don't see your beauty like they see it. you probably don't think they are attracted to you. you just need some confidence - trust that you are beautiful and make your move; stop waiting for masculine energies to make the first move.

they see that you lack confidence despite you being pretty and deserving attention. you are careful about what you do and what you say - this intrigues them. they are so curious about what you would say/do if you had the confidence to do so.

i feel like, unfortunately, no one will make a move in this situation. so you will keep to yourselves and spend time in solitude. stop thinking about what could have been and make it happen. you don't have to be unhappy with your present circumstances. start making a shift in your beliefs. you can put an end to your feelings of loneliness; you just have to change your mindset - abundance awaits you.

pile 3

they doubt themselves around you. i feel like you are rather close to them in their day-to-day life, but they don't think they can gain your attention. they tried - believe me, they have, but they just don't feel they are getting anywhere like they hoped they would.

they have been getting to know you for quite a bit of time. they love how passionate you are about the world around you. they also enjoy that you are building something for yourself.

you are very lovely to them. you are just at the beginning as your beauty journey too - you are going to continue to blossom and bloom.

you hold back which intrigues them. you can resist what others indulge in, which attracts their interest. you celebrate the small wins in very minimal ways, which they adore.

something is changing in the near future. you have to accept this connection as it is - i feel like you guys could be great for one another in the romantic sense, so why not try it? you can build a future together. this person wants to help you to grow in new and exciting ways. pay attention to subtle hints and messages from those around you. communication, fresh perspectives, and opportunities are ahead of you.

[snakes-in-mirrors]

About fanarts

I started getting more and more questions and that's why I decided to make this post. TLDR: please don't draw fanarts of our characters. I'll explain why below.

In the past, like many artists, I was very happy when I received fanart. Like, REALLY. Unfortunately, that changed after a few cases where some people started to cross the line and blatantly violate our boundaries. Things like NSFW, ships with other characters, attempts to make copies. All of this affected my burnout and deprived me of the desire to share anything at all.

Of course I'm not saying that everyone who draws fanart will do this, no! But every time I see fanart, I can't help but remember all those cases and it makes me nervous. Every time I worry that it will start to happen again. I've received a lot of DMs asking about fanart and when I explain my situation, almost everyone answers me "oh, I understand, I had something similar and that's why I always ask first". So our case is not unique (and honestly, it's very sad). If you ever drew me fanart and now think "I didn't know, now I regret it" - please don't! I'm still very grateful to you for taking the time to make me happy and I really, really appreciate it.

I enjoy sharing my drawings, comics and character stories with you. I am truly pleased that they resonate with many. So if you want to make me happy - just like, comment, reblog my artwork. It always motivates to continue and share more. Maybe over time our view on fanart will change, but for now this is how things are. Thank you very much for understanding. 💛

[astroamorsworld]

Astrology Observations #26

If you guys would like to show your support, you can buy me a coffee here :)

I’m starting to compile a list of reviews for readings on my masterlist so check it out if you’d like😊

If you guys would like a reading, feel free to DM me or fill out my Google form here

Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. Enjoy!

Please do not copy my work.

🍿Someone I know has a Scorpio ruled 7th house and through their past relationships have been victims of witchcraft because of it. Whether it was their partners paying people to do spells on them or someone their partners were previously involved with or someone their partners were close with, its been a somewhat common occurrence for this person unfortunately☹️

(And i don’t think having a neptune there helped either…😕)

🍿Those of you who have your Moon in the 8th house, do you like horror films? Like it’s something i’ve noticed with a few people i know and i personally dislike a lot of them👎

🍿As a girl with a Gemini Juno, funny guys are my absolute weakness😩😩 Gemini Sun men also. In fact just all men with Gemini placements. Does this apply to you guys with your Juno placement?

🍿Aquarius risings are so cool, love them😚

🍿Since the 12th house rules bed pleasures, how many of your 12th housers like really and i mean REALLY like your bed. Like in fact do you guys ever like leaving your house?

🍿If you have Uranus in the 4th house, if you’d like to, tell me what your family does that you think no other family does🤔

🍿Everytime I have my Moon in the 8th house in my lunar return chart, something always comes to an end. Do you guys notice the same thing with your lunar return charts or nah

🍿Not an observation but I have Pluto in the 8th house at 29 degrees for my solar return chart this year and I am a little frightened icl… have any of you guys had this placement in your sr charts? If so, what happened that year?

🍿Living on your Saturn MC line is soooo tough😩feeling like life is harder for you than most ppl is NOT it😭😭

🍿Leo Risings, do your relationships ever stem from a friends to lovers type situation or nah?

🍿Now i know i’ve mentioned this before in a previous post but I just wanna say again that having a Moon-Chiron conjunction in your sr chart absolutely sucks. A year where you can really be going through it😖😖😖

🍿I currently have Neptune in the 1st opposite mars AND mercury in the 7th house in my sr chart and i can tell you that the daydreaming about being in a relationship has gone into overdrive…😔

🍿I also have my 5th house ruler conjunct chiron in my sr chart and heartbreak has occurred… so if you have it in your sr chart you may wanna brace yourself😫

(I thought my sr chart was gonna be really good but I was unfortunately blind to every other placement in my chart but my major 7th house stellium… REMEMBER GUYS A 7TH HOUSE STELLIUM CAN INDICATE GAINING BEST FRIENDS AND DOES NOT GUARANTEE YOU A RELATIONSHIP😭😭

🍿A more straightforward observation but having Chiron in the 11th house of a SR chart can indicate losing some friends… like not necessarily in the typical way where you guys fall out, but it could be a scenario where they move away, or you guys can’t see each other as often for whatever reason.

🍿I feel like living on your Saturn MC line can also indicate getting into more problems with authority figures and more so them starting problems with you… they can turn into absolute f***ing b****rds out of nowhere… sorry i just have some trauma with members of authority😭😭

🍿I have my sun at 10 degrees and a 10th house stellium… I wonder if thats why i’ve always felt like i had an old soul… this is probably why my family always says to me that i’m a grandma😭😭

🍿7th house ruler in the 10th house of a sr chart can indicate meeting someone at work

🍿In a few months Jupiter will conjunct my natal Juno… I wonder what’ll happen then?🤔

🍿I feel like Gemini Mercury’s multitask a lot. Like A LOT. It’s almost tiring to watch them do it tbh😭

🍿I feel like having a Leo ruled 5th house can indicate attracting partners who worship you.

This was different from my other observations but I hope you guys still enjoyed it😭

Check my pinned for more💖

next post

[commsroom]

this is a sensitive topic for me, so i really hate that i have to make this post, but unfortunately it keeps becoming relevant: stop infantilizing hera, and stop making excuses for it.

"well, she's literally four years old" she's been fully conscious with an adult mind for most of that, awake for most of that, and in multiple places at once for most of that. do you think that is comparable to a child's life experience, or is it maybe representative of something else?

i assume you understand why it would be wrong to call lovelace "literally two" because the fact that she is a clone is textually representative of the trauma she's been through. i also assume you understand why hera occasionally making flippant or frustrated comments about her own struggles living as an AI is different from the text telling you who she is or how you should regard her. it's science fiction, and it's a show that uses science fiction concepts in ways that resonate with real ones. the ultimate fact of the matter is that hera could've been in a lab for 30 years, or for 200 years, in a different setting, and be written the exact same way: as a sheltered, isolated adult woman without real life experiences.

hera is not a child or teenager in a natural stage of development. she is an adult who never went through the usual stages of development or life milestones, who has adult friendships and responsibilities, but who feels she is permanently ill-equipped to handle her life because no one ever taught her how, or gave her the space to make mistakes. if you don't understand why this distinction is important in discussing her trauma, that there are real, adult people who feel the same way, people who feel they've only been alive for four years, women who were never girls... then i really don't know what to say to you.

and i guess i have to say it: it's inherently infantilizing to say her peers see her the same way they see an actual child, or to say she needs them to be parental figures, especially eiffel of all people. "adult women have parents too" not ones that are 30 year old men! and parents have responsibilities to children, even adult children, that are different from the responsibilities two unrelated adults who care about each other have. it fundamentally reframes hera's most equal relationship in a way that diminishes her autonomy within it. (and if you're arguing it's all equal anyway, then what does it add? why don't you consider friendship as important?)

i know some people will dismiss that point because i view eiffel and hera romantically, but i've never argued you have to. if you want to go down that road, it says some pretty awful things about the couple of writers and actors who also view it romantically if you think she was meant to be viewed as a child, much less comparable to his child. you're inventing problems that don't canonically exist.

i just don't understand why you would make it about eiffel at all - and eiffel does not have the right to be a parent; the only thing that will heal his relationship with his real actual child is in relation to his real actual child - instead of discussing what a disabled, isolated, traumatized adult might be able to offer a disabled, traumatized kid. isn't the whole point of hera not being like pryce about breaking cycles? why make her a passive figure in her own story when her entire story arc is about taking control of her life?

there's no utility to this line of thought that doesn't further demean and alienate her, while implying she isn't ready to be a fully autonomous adult person. i don't think most people mean to be ableist, but hera is canonically a disabled woman, and i don't like where that line of thought leads. and yes, she's just a fictional character and can't be hurt by it, but everyone brings some real-world biases to how they engage with fiction. she's written as a marginalized adult person, and her womanhood is textually tied to defense of her personhood and autonomy (as well as a parallel to lovelace, also a marginalized woman.) to paraphrase minkowski - "you are going to show [that woman] some goddamned respect."

[blackorchidcoven]

Pick A Card

Your Demons

Pile 1 Spider Nightmare

Song: Venus By Shocking Blue 

“ Goddess on the mountain top

Burning like a silver flame

The summit of beauty and love

And Venus was her name

She's got it

Yeah, baby, she's got it

I'm your Venus, I'm your fire

At your desire

Well, I'm your Venus, I'm your fire

At your desire”

This energy is so intense. You’re definitely an intense person. This pile is very personal, I don't expect it to resonate for a lot of people because it’s so particular. I get the energy of someone who talks a lot, who rambles on and on. There’s also this tension… You really love attention. I hate to break it to you but someone has cursed you. I don’t know everything but it’s happened and I have to tell you. That’s why you’re being drawn to this post and to the occult world in general. Deep down inside, you know who it is that’s done it. That bitch! It’s because you have characteristics that they envy and they cannot forgive you for this. It’s so twisted. This may be weird but this pile reminds me of a family member of mine, someone I love dearly and would literally die for. I love this pile. Your life has been hard and it’s not your fault. It always has been since the very start but you never let that stop you cause your loved ones never stopped loving you. You have a strong bond with your loved ones. This is important. Never let them go. This person who has cursed you is unfortunately wedged deep into your family. Maybe they married in, maybe they work for or with your family in some fashion. No matter what, they are lurking. 

The image for this pile, the “card” is freaky. It depicts a little girl freaking out as a giant spider with a creepy cat head runs wild. I actually see this spider cat as a protector but the little girl is too young to realize. She is just scared. The cat is guarding her, and who knows… whatever the cat is hissing at could be even scarier than itself! 

Cats are independent, intuitive spirits. 

So, you who picked this card is the little girl. The cat is your guardian in some form. It comes across strongly. Whether you have one as a pet/familiar/spirit guide, or someone named Cat/Kat/Catherine or someone in mind with other feline attributes 

(wear animal prints, have whiskers/facial hair, wear cat eyeliner, have long nails/claws, are feisty 😈�� & playful) 

Sounds crazy, but cats are! 🐱 

In this circumstance with my family member in mind, I’m the cat. 

The cat feels creepy sometimes but all you see is cute, so it’s hard to spot them. It’s sad but it’s easier to spot who cursed you rather than who is protecting you. You have just begun to think of life in a spiritual way. You are so excited but this person is ruining it for you, this gives it away. They try to scare you. They live a lie. They aren’t like you and you know it. You do not share the same values. You should get away from them. Cut them off. 

This person has become a detriment to you. They are flesh and blood but spiritually they are demonic. I’m sorry but they are. They’re corrupt. They’re into satanic culture and dark society. They want to watch the world burn. They’re made of something you are not. This person just hangs on. They’ve almost been told goodbye many times but it’s never truly manifested. It will but I know it will take a little while but be quicker than you think. I’m thinking around spring you’ll swear you see change even though you feel like you’re imagining it but by the end of summer everything will be taken care of. You’ll see. 

Energies: 

Cancer ♋️ 

Hallucinations 

Mass Hysteria 

Childhood Trauma 

Nightmares 

Femininity

Girlhood 

Goosebumps Books 

Love ❤️ 

Vintage 

Tradition 

Stereotypes 

Comic Books 

Action 

Art 

Curses 

Woman 

Witch 

Beef 

Jealousy 

Venus 

The Past 

Scorpio ♏️ 

Cherished

Spring 

Divine Intervention 

Pile 2 Swamp Queen 

Song: Beautiful By Christina Aguilera

“Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful

Then suddenly it's hard to breathe

Now and then I get insecure

From all the pain

I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no

So don't you bring me down today”

Okay, you’re your own worst enemy. 

This would be my pile 😂 

Okay. We get it, you also have a lot to say like Pile 1. 

You have a constant internal monologue going on, you’re the star of your own movie. I sense The Star Card for this pile. You are dreamy, spiritual and weird. You’re obviously magical. There’s something strange about you. You are seriously different. You’re not what’s considered normal. You worry so much about whether you come across as normal or not but you don’t have to worry any longer cause I’m going to clarify it for you, you fucking don’t. You are weird. You do not conform to society’s expectations but not because you don’t want to, you just weren’t born to. Most who pick this pile wear makeup, false eyelashes, wigs, dye their hair, have acrylic nails…This is not to hide who you are but actually to accentuate it. You use vibrant colors and exaggerate your natural features so gorgeously! You go! You're not afraid to show your true face though. You’re seriously into skin care/self care/self love and it shows. You glow. Everyone acts weird around you. You’d be surprised why… it’s because you’re beautiful 😍 

I do not sense any denial or skepticism from this pile 

😆 

Everyone already knows … 

It’s almost awkward 😐 

You do not value appearances whatsoever and this is your true beauty. I sense a lot of empaths in this pile that are just now discovering that they’re empaths maybe even because of this reading! 

You’re earthy. 

I sense a lot of dark skinned queens here. 

You’re a reader. You read books for sure but you read people too. You mind your own business and that’s beautiful too. Maybe you mind your business too much, people want more from you. They want to see you more, talk to you more, hear you laugh more and see you smile… You have many admirers. I mean tons. You had humble beginnings and that’s shaped you into who you are today. You are so mature, too mature. Some want you to relax more and have fun. Some are critical of you and want you to “act your age” they want to dumb you down to their level. They want to party with you, get you drunk and dance 🪩 

This is not anything like you. 

Ignore these kinds of individuals because they want to change you. This isn’t who you are, if it was then so be it. You’d rather curl up on your couch with a book and a cup of tea 🍵 so do that! 

This all sounds so good, then how are you your own problem?

 You’re stumped. 

You’re stagnant. 

A running theme in your life is waiting cause God is teaching you the virtue of patience my friend. 

Ground yourself. 

Notice everything. 

Get comfortable but remember to work hard now so you can relax later. 

Stop procrastinating. 

Do your best. 

You’re idolized behind closed doors. You light up this world. 

No one would know an angel like you could have been through hell but that’s the truth. The dark side of this reading is everything you’ve overcome. 

The color of this reading is bright green. Slime green like the swamp monster in the image. I see severe chronic incurable illness, sicknesses, nausea, actual vomit. There’s this disgusting and grossed out feeling I get. I get that you feel like a monster maybe cause you don’t “fit in” like I said. You cry about being a misfit. 

You put on a happy face. You hate showing people your vulnerabilities but you do so gracefully. You feel nervous a lot, like all the time pretty much. You stay on an even keel of worry. You feel like it’s hard being human, and it is so you try to overcompensate. Just chill out. Your overthinking is a gift and a curse you’ll learn. The present moment is a gift 🎁 so enjoy it. 

Energies: 

Gemini ♊️ 

Confidence 

Insecurity 

Acne 

Grease 

Iconic 

Makeup 💄 

The Present 

Reality Check 

Money 💰 

Plastic Surgery 

Shots 

Needles 💉 

Alcohol 🍷 

Mirror 🪞 

Lips 👄 

Mouth 

Voice 

Throat Chakra 

Sexuality 

Seduction 

Submission 

Scorpio ♏️ 

Scorpion 🦂 

Snake 🐍 

Mistake 

Self Harm 

Self Destructive Tendencies 

Junkie 

Addiction 

Flaws 

Weakness 

Pastel 

Accurate 

Monster 

Shadow Self 

Ego 

Virgo ♍️ 

Aquarius ♒️ 

Pile 3 Wishbone 

Song: If I Die Young By The Band Perry 

“If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

Oh-oh, oh-oh”

I see red. 

I sense male/masculine energy. 

This pile likes my energy so that’s why you’re here. You like how I talk. We could be friends. Oh. 

You’re angry. 😡 

You’re into conspiracy theories and the apocalypse. You may be religious. You are dying to state your individuality against the other piles. 

You’re vulgar. You swear a lot. 

You’re like, “Fuck you, get to my pile!” 

You are into horror and gothic things. 

I see myself as a teenager so you must be pretty darn damaged. 

You speak negatively to yourself. You abuse yourself. 

You hate yourself. You feel like no one understands yet the ones who do are as bad as you and can’t help you but at least they make you feel less crazy, right?

This is a rough pile guys. 

I’m so sorry for who this is for. It’s definitely for my younger self. I’m having flashbacks. I’m uncomfortable. 

I have to be honest, this is the work of the devil. 

I bet if you are another pile scrolling down out of curiosity you probably could see it clearly but when you’re knee deep in it, you cannot see it and even act like it’s “cool” 

It isn’t. 

I don’t even know what to say. 

Someday you’ll realize why the devil was after your soul so bad, you’ll realize the richness of who you are and maybe you’ll turn around or maybe you won’t. 

I sense deep regret. Someone who’s eating their words and really anxious 😥 You absolutely beat yourself up. You cry a lot. 

You're young aren’t you? 

Just because I said male/masculine energy doesn’t mean some women cannot be involved… You on your period? I’m teasing but really, are you? 

I sense mars energy. 

Dark humor, sharp features and tall frames. Warrior souls, brown eyes and hardy laughs. A taste for spicy food, picky when it comes to partners and the moral compass of a saint. 

You may be scary on the outside but you're a little ray of sunshine on the inside, aren’t you? 

Seriously. You got a good soul. 

I sense Leo ♌️  energy. 

People want to be like you. 

You choose what you say very carefully. You tend to obsess about what you say. 

I sense a blocked throat chakra. 

You may have nightmares you’re choking, this is a result of it. 

Pray on it. 

Manifest it. 

Open it. 

You’re actually really loud. 

In energy and volume. 

You have massive energy. 

You may be big physically, if not then you wear wild outfits that get everyone looking & complimenting.

No matter what you look hot 🥵 and sexy. 

You get rid of people in your life if they cross you and now you’ve come to a point where there’s no one left. You’re devastated and lost all hope. 

You feel like an alien 👽 

This is how the devil wants you to feel

Hang on. 

Survive. Then thrive. 

God will give you opportunities to move on. I know you’re ashamed of yourself right now so move slow. 

Be a sloth 🦥 

You feel like a joke.

You also feel numb. 

I pray for you, I know you’ll be given a fair chance as I was. You just have to wait. 

All of our stories are different yet still similar. 

I felt like nothing could get through to me, but that was my story until God moved mountains. 

I was in a pathetic place so you should listen to my testimony. I was mad at the world until I realized I’m a part of it, that I matter. I realized not everything is as simple as it seems. We as beings are not as simple as we think we are. 

You are not “bad” like you say and think you are. You are the author of your own life. You're the writer but God is the editor. If you wanna be bad then be bad if you want to be good be good but the beautiful thing is that we all have different definitions of good and bad. 

So define yourself. Then you’ll be happy. 

Your demons are real and the literal devil is after your soul. Don’t panic. 🫨 

I sense that it’s just spiritual at this point. 

You’re not possessed (yet) 

Nothing is attached to you but the devil is attacking your subconscious. Either God is making you walk through hell (and it gets deeper my friend) or you’re trying to swim in the deep end, I trust you know which is which. (I know you do)

So if it is out of your control try to view it as a learning experience no matter how unbearable it may be (I have done this and it sorta helps) 

If it’s in your control, be vigilant. Stay aware. Remain observant. Question everything. Ponder existence. You will be rewarded. Expect change and you’ll be good. 👍 

Make decisions that make you happy.

Energies:

Aries ♈️ 

Resistance 

Stubborn 

Cross 

Religion 

The Holy Trinity 

Blood 🩸 

Bones 🦴 

Memories 

Crying 😭 

Weight Loss/Weight Gain 

Change 

Transformation 

Roses 🌹 

Encouragement 

Hormones 

Teenager 

Adolescence 

Leo ♌️ 

Lion 🦁 

Copy Cats 

Regret 

Mistake 

Redo 

Restart 

Delete 

Space 

Advice 

Friendship 

Guidance 

Similarities 

Red 

Summer 

[anim-ttrpgs]

Question asker - just saw your answer and that did genuinely clear up a lot of like. My misgivings? Like of course I had read some of your essays here and such but hadn’t had the full understanding. Thank you for taking the time to write about this. Not doing great with words rn but thanks.

(This message is in response to this ask i answered in late October)

Really sorry I forgot to respond to this message like a month ago when you sent it, but thank you, I’m very glad!

It was a hard post to write, and a little scary to put so much potentially controversial expression out there, but that post has really resonated with a whole lot of disabled people who really identify with the monsters and the general no-sugar-coating way that Eureka approaches disability and how there’s often really no way that a lot of us can avoid being a “drain” on others.

In a society that measures worth and morality based on how much work you do, those that can’t work - and worse, drag down the productivity of others or remove them from the work force - might as well be monsters.

Eureka asks “What if there literally were monsters living within society?” and answers “Well, they would have inherent worth as people no matter what.”

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but you can still check out the public beta on itch.io to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, etc.!

You can also follow updates on our Kickstarter page where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more, you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy earlier, plus extra content such as adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.