#UK WHOS PRETTIER

[shoverse]

majestical photo

WHAT THE FUCK

[anashins]

Snow in London

Pairing: idol!Jaehyun x escort!reader

Genre: fluff, romance, smut

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Jaehyun has to spend Christmas alone in London and figures that with money, you can buy anything - even company to make him feel less alone.

A/N: Merry Christmas guys - this is my gift for you! Have happy holidays and enjoy! (You might get confused as the story unfolds, but keep reading, it will all make sense, trust me)

A bottle of wine and an escort.

If two weeks ago someone had told Jaehyun that this was how he was going to spend this year’s Christmas, he would have called that person a fool. Usually, he spent it among his family, friends and members, and everyone knew. Very cozy and comfortable, only with the people closest to him.

Now, Jaehyun himself was the person who looked like a fool. 

It was Christmas Eve and he was sitting in a hotel room on the other side of the world - London, to be exact - far away from all the people dear to him. If only he hadn’t accepted this campaign shoot for this certain luxury brand, he would be home by now, fast asleep after having enjoyed good food with his family.

But fate had other things in store for him when it was announced this morning that all domestic and international flights were canceled due to the heavy snowstorm that would last a couple of days. Jaehyun knew it was his responsibility as a global ambassador, but he had really begged to not accept this job in case something like this would happen. It didn’t usually snow in the UK, so his team had just shrugged his concerns off.

But somehow, he had sensed it, and now he was locked up here with nowhere else to go.

When Jaehyun looked out of the window, he saw white everywhere with not a single vehicle passing by in the streets, and the snow wouldn’t stop falling. He doubted he could take a flight tomorrow or the day after that. Or the day after that even. It was frustrating. 

With a ‘thud’, he let himself fall back onto the bed. At least he was in a high class hotel close to Hyde Park and the staff had invited him to go to the bar with them, but Jaehyun wasn’t in the mood for company now. Well, at least not the company of so many people he didn’t know well enough. 

Why an escort then? 

Jaehyun didn’t want to spend Christmas Eve entirely alone, but he also didn’t want the commitment of having the person around until the next morning with the obligation of getting something physical out of it. He would rather leave it open. Or even worse, he didn’t want to take the flight back with that person and work together again depending on how this night would end. So that was why the staff was ruled out and the hotel employees as well just because they were short handed during the holidays.

Jaehyun just didn’t want to be alone on Christmas Eve and he had the money for it.

The fact that he had indeed never done something like this before was mirrored in how his heart jumped the moment he heard a knock on the door. Luckily, it was just room service bringing the wine he had ordered shortly before, leaving him all alone again with a simple “Merry Christmas”. 

If this Christmas Eve was going to turn merry for Jaehyun, he also didn’t know yet.

The second time he heard a knock, he opened the door even more nervous to find you standing in front of him whose picture he had only briefly seen on the website this morning.

The first thing he noticed about you was how much prettier you were in real life. If he were being honest, you didn’t look like your photos at all as in fact, he found you more beautiful in person and with your bright aura, his nervousness directly dropped a bit. 

Perhaps, he had also not looked at the photos properly, because he wanted to leave it open whether there would be intimate contact at all, and there were not many working today. In the end, he preferred any company over none at all and this was a time where he couldn’t be picky much since he also didn’t want to reduce a person to their outward appearance only and wanted to talk to them too.

So Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised to see you, a pretty, young woman with a nice energy, standing in front of him. 

The second thing he noticed was that you must be cold, because despite your body being covered in a thick black puffer jacket and a pair of black pants that ended in boots, there were remnants of snow everywhere on your body, and since the flakes were melting by room temperature, it looked like you had just run through the rain with your face uncovered also.

For a special day with special services, if Jaehyun were to be blunt, you were dressed and styled quite ordinary - which he didn’t mind at all though since you were only going to stay in the room anyway, he had dropped the fact beforehand! He just couldn’t help but to notice the great difference in the sexy clothings and heavy makeup you had worn on your online pis and the way you were styled now. 

But he’d rather have you warm and cozy than sexy during such a weather, he wasn’t one to pay much attention to outer clothing anyway when most of the time he was wearing lounge pants himself. Actually Jaehyun felt really relieved since he also hadn’t dressed up much for this occasion, wearing his slacks and black shirt at most. 

“Good evening. It’s cold outside, come in.”

Jaehyun opened the door widely, and the third thing he noticed about you was how good you smelled when you walked past him with a light,

“Good evening. Thank you.”

You opened your jacket and Jaehyun, like the gentleman he was, helped you get out of it and hung it up on the wardrobe. When he turned back around, he observed you standing in the room, wrapping your arms around yourself and trembling with your light clothes since your upper body was only covered in a blouse.

“Didn’t you use the shuttle I ordered?” he asked.

“You ordered a shuttle for me? Oh…” You shook your head. “I used the subway and walked all the way from Oxford Circus to here.”

That was why you looked like you had walked through the snowstorm - because you literally did. “I paid for a shuttle service straight to the hotel too, no?” Jaehyun was sure this had been listed on the bill as an extra service for which he had already paid.

“I didn’t get the notice, she didn’t tell me. Only the hotel, floor and room number. There are no cars or services running, so….”

Suddenly, Jaehyun felt bad. He assumed ‘she’ was the operator in the company, something like a manager. “Take off your clothes.” 

“What?”

He was confused that you had turned confused, so you were looking at each other, equally puzzled. “I want to hang them up, so you don’t have to walk around with wet clothes and risk getting a cold. And I want you to take a shower please, to warm yourself up.” 

You blinked a few times, but then replied, “Oh! No, I was only taken aback a bit…”

“Don’t worry.” Jaehyun finally realized what had run through your head. “I’m not like that.”

Even though you only nodded as a reply, he clearly saw how relieved you were, and he started questioning whether you knew what you were actually here for as you appeared a bit insecure about this entire situation. Even though it might not happen right away or at all, the job description was very clear and you weren’t a newbie if he had to believe the website. But Jaehyun shrugged it off as this was a special circumstance and day you might not get into often as well.

Jaehyun then sent you to the bathroom with information on where to find the towels and a bathrobe. He just couldn’t live with the thought of having a woman come over despite the weather and dealing with the consequences.

Rummaging through his luggage, he found a simple white long sleeve and checkered lounge pants that must be way too big for you, but he figured it was better than leaving you in a bathrobe or making you wear your own clothes again before they had fully dried.

When you walked out of the bathroom approximately half an hour later, with semi-dried hair, a bathrobe way too big for you and wearing no makeup at all anymore, the fourth thing Jaehyun noticed about you was that you were an ordinary young woman who he could have also met on the streets or in a club, not someone he paid to spend a few hours with.

And if he were to say it out loud, he wouldn’t want you to misunderstand this. There was no negative connotation with this thought, especially not in regard to your job which services he was making use of himself. It just dawned on him that you were two ordinary people in private, alone on Christmas Eve. 

In the end, when it came down to loneliness, you were both the same.

“You’re so kind to me,” you stated when Jaehyun handed you his clothes.

“I figured someone who has to work on Christmas Eve deserves more kindness than usual.”

“It was okay,” you simply stated and returned to the bathroom while it echoed, “There weren’t too many rude customers today, thank god.”

Jaehyun tilted his head in question over this cryptic statement. Had you just used plural? Oh my, how many customers did you take in a day? Was Christmas Eve really that busy? But then he decided to brush it off. It was none of his business anyway, although it remained in the back of his head, itching him a bit. 

While he walked over to the table where he had also already prepared two glasses and opened the wine, you left the bathroom again, now fully dressed in his clothes.

Jaehyun attempted really hard not to look up and to stare, so he tried to catch a glimpse or two from the corner of his eyes while filling the wine glasses. Under any other circumstances, this would have been an awkward first date, and even though it wasn’t since he paid for your company, pretending to have it be one made it a little bit easier for him, he had to admit.

“Wine?” he offered, and he perceived in the way the look in your eyes changed that you very much welcomed this ice breaker.

“Thank you.”

Alcohol was not only very popular for making your tongue loose, which was why, two glasses of wine for each of you later, your outer clothes had become very loose as well and eventually landed on the floor next to the bed.

“You know,” you murmured in between kisses before Jaehyun slid his tongue along your jaw and only came to a stop with it by the side of your neck, which made you giggle. “I usually don’t do this the first time I meet someone… At least not directly.”

Jaehyun pricked up his ears, but didn’t stop nibbling on the soft skin. “Oh? But then, what do you usually do upon first meeting someone?”

“Usually we go out, to a restaurant or something. And if the vibe is right, one thing leads to another…”

Of course he knew about the fact that high quality escort services didn’t come with short lived physical intimacy only. But there was only so much he was able to do in such a situation, and now he was truly wondering if he should have ordered a room service meal first since he hadn’t even been fixated on physical contact only. It was his first time too, so he still felt a bit lost - and guilty he wasn’t able to offer more.

But he was just so attracted to you which was even more fueled by the bit of alcohol in his system now, and upon the first time he had leaned in to kiss you only moments before this, he knew you felt the same about him. Which was good! After all, he couldn’t imagine getting intimate with someone who had to pretend to like him for his sake and for the money.

“I would have taken you out first too, but during this snowstorm…”

He didn’t come to end his sentence, because you cupped his face and pulled him up, so that you were facing each other again, and you reassured him with your thumb stroking tenderly over his warm cheek, “I don’t mind this time.”

“Good.”

And with that, the last word was spoken just as the last pieces of clothing, your underwear, found their way onto the floor too. 

When Jaehyun was running his fingers through your hair, caressing the sensitive skin on your shoulder with his warm lips, he noticed that, even after showering, you still smelled as good as in the moment when you first had walked through the door. You weren’t wearing any heavy perfume or another scent. This was just you, the natural you. He liked it.

You were sitting on his lap and held onto his strong upper arms for support as he went lower with his lips to the area around your cleavage. Your teeth sank into the flesh of your bottom lip when he bit into your nipple, making you gasp eventually. You felt him smile against your breast, and, almost as if he wanted to apologize, he licked over the spot and then gently placed a kiss on it. 

When he dedicated his mouth to your other mound though, he didn’t use his teeth anymore, but only his tongue. And a few moments later, you let your head roll back as he sucked on nibbled on that spot, causing sensations to run all through your body and your thighs to clasp around him even stronger as though you wanted more of him too. And you actually did, oh how much you did!

But a familiar tone made you both turn your head to the desk simultaneously where your phone was lightening up and vibrating. Who would interrupt you at such a time?

“Just ignore it,” you told him, and he nodded deliberately.

“Very well.”

He grabbed you by your bum and with a gasp, you then were flipped around and fell backwards onto the mattress with a giggle. When your phone had exactly stopped ringing, you couldn't tell in the end, because you long had Jaehyun’s fingers inside of you.

What he thought when he was pleasuring you with his hand, wasn’t only how hot you looked as a writhing and whiny mess under him from whom he couldn’t avert his eyes, but also how fun it was, because there was a smile showing on your face every now and then.

Jaehyun usually never did one night stands, though there had been a handful of ones throughout the years. But these girls, he had talked to before, even in a drunken state only. That he just requested the company of someone and they would actually match so well from the first moment on like with you, he hadn’t expected at all.

His fingers were drenched when he pulled them out of you after noticing how tight you had gotten around him due to your arousal, but he was determined to prolong the act. After all, you had the whole night and he could still sleep on the plane the next day - if they would run again - which he doubted. And a part of him already thought further and made plans to book you instead again.

“Look at me.”

Jaehyun didn’t know why exactly, but he just wanted that. It made him feel warm around his chest. And he could need a little warmth right now when it was so cold and lonely outside. He hoped you did too. 

Your eyes were indeed warm when you looked at each other, so he couldn’t help but lift his free hand and brush some streaks of your hair out of your face. There were worse ways to spend Christmas, he had to admit. Actually, this Christmas had turned really nice at this point.

Jaehyun got pulled out of his thoughts though when he felt the palms of your hands in his nether regions, first stroking along his inner thighs, then wrapping around his full length. No way this was happening. The unexpected sensation made him fold, and he had a really hard time propping his weight up against his elbows to hold himself in position when it all felt so good.

“You like that?” you whispered into his ear with a low voice that turned him on so much.

“Just keep going and I won’t be able to guarantee anything.”

With a brush over his tip, you wiped away his droplet of precum. You then retracted your hand to lead your stained fingers to your mouth and slid them in without breaking eye contact with him. This way you let him know that he nevertheless would end up very lucky this christmas. 

Even your phone vibrating again couldn’t interrupt the mood since you both quietly agreed to ignore it before he reached for a condom on the nightstand to prepare himself. There still were a few hours of Christmas Eve left, a few hours where you could still try out stuff. Right now, you both just needed to get it off.

Jaehyun wondered if there was something you absolutely wouldn’t do or liked to do, but there was no room to think about it much anyway when you were lying under him, completely naked, a light sheen of sweat covering most parts of your body, and your facial expression welcoming him with your lips slightly parted. 

Could he imagine a better gift for his situation? Absolutely not.

He parted your thighs with his knees when he sat in front of you and guided himself in. It was easy with almost no strength required, that was how wet he had already gotten you through his fingerwork. Grabbing your thighs to your left and right, Jaehyun slid you along the mattress closer to him so that you were eventually fully sheathed inside and stuck skin on skin.

You spread out your hands when he started to pull out, then pushed in again, and with every time, he added a little more force. Your eyes rolled to the ceiling as your fingers entangled with the sheet to your left and right, and you suddenly weren’t mad at your parents anymore for leaving you alone on Christmas, so that you had decided to still work and practically spend it with a stranger. You could imagine having a worse celebration than this one right here. 

It had been quite a while since you last had sex, and you weren’t sure it had ever been this good or if it were only the circumstances and you were just so into each other - which was so rare! But in the end, it didn’t really matter. If the first blind encounter was already this good, there for sure would be a second one!

You felt your climax nearing the moment he picked up his speed, and although you were able to cum like this, you still appreciated that he changed the position from kneeling in front of you to lying on top of you. It felt good to wrap your legs around his middle, and feel him, every stroke, no matter how hard or long, even more intense.

He was breathing into your ear, and at one point even kissed your earlobe, then your cheek. It was intimate and cute at the same time, and he eventually hovered over you with his face, so you spread out your arms to welcome him with a kiss on your mouth, and then hugged him close to your body.

His breathing turned irregular and it wasn’t in sync with his thrusts anymore, that was how you could foretell that at any second, he would cum. With your fingers grabbing into his hair, partly gently, partly determined, you signalized him that it was alright to let go, and that you would follow too.

As though he had been holding in until you gave such kind of approval, he came the moment he slid back inside you with a low groan right beside your ear. You witnessed his breathing turning regular and slower and him gaining back full control of his body, because he did not directly pull out of you after he was done.

Instead, he continued moving for as long as he was still able to and eventually got you off with his hands so that you shook in his arms and he was now the one having to hold you through your climax.

“Best Christmas Eve ever,” you eventually breathed when he let go of you and rolled to one side of the now messy bed. “That was a nice gift.”

“Right back at you,” Jaehyun said.

With a look at you, he observed how you tried to grab the blanket to wrap it around your naked body to keep yourself warm. He knew a better method though. 

Jaehyun moved to your side of the bed and laid down, but making sure to have closed his arms around you before to pull you down with him right onto his chest. For a moment, he was worried that it was too much and you would free yourself again. But as he felt your muscles relaxing and you eventually put an arm around him too, he was very much relieved.

“Why are you spending Christmas alone?” you eventually asked him after a few moments of silence. “She didn’t tell me.”

Ah, so details truly weren’t passed on upon request. “My flight back home got canceled due to the snowstorm, but I didn’t want to be all alone.” Jaehyun didn’t know whether he could ask this question back, but he did nonetheless. He figured if you didn’t want to or weren’t allowed to share private info, you would tell him immediately.

“Oh, you wanted to spend it among your family too but they live abroad?” He wanted to explain that he lived abroad too, but your answer caught his attention more, “My parents suddenly decided they would rather spend two weeks on a cruise in the Caribbean sea instead of celebrating with me, so I was alone too.” 

“I understand that.” If he would have been left alone on Christmas, since it was a holiday spent among the family in the UK, he would have rather worked too, Jaehyun thought to himself. “That’s why we’re here.”

“Yeah, that’s why.”

It was cold outside, but their bodies and hearts were warm, not only because of them sharing their physical warmth, but mostly because they were not alone anymore. 

So it was an unspoken agreement that their encounter wouldn’t end here. Or at night. Probably only the next morning. And even then, you both wondered if it actually would when it felt this good.

“Should I order room service?” Jaehyun asked instead.

You nodded with excitement. “Actually, I’m quite hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.” He laughed and stretched out his arm to reach for the phone, but you both heard a knock on the door before he could call anyone.

“Did you already order something before?” you asked out of curiosity, but Jaehyun shook his head. 

“Maybe someone from my team?”

You frowned. “Team…?”

But Jaehyun didn’t see it as he had already jumped out of bed to throw on some light clothes so that it wouldn’t get that embarrassing to open the door to one of the staff.

Standing in front of him was no familiar staff at all though.

“Good evening, here I am.”

Jaehyun was flabbergasted. Had it been a glass of wine too much? Because in front of him stood the woman whose exact pictures he had seen online this morning, he now remembered clearly. Not only was she wearing the exact same clothes, but also the same heavy makeup. No doubt, he wasn’t dreaming or imagining.

“I’m sorry for the delay,” she continued. “The shuttle you ordered couldn’t get through, I was waiting for so long. I ordered a taxi from Oxford Circus instead and that eventually got stuck. I had to walk the rest of the way, but now I’m here… What is it? Don’t you want to invite me in?”

“Pardon me… what?!”

On the other side of the room, you had finally picked up the phone call from your friend who had just called for the third time.

“Hey! You can’t imagi-... What do you mean? How can he still be waiting when I am currently with him? Yes, the guy you set me up on a blind date with, he’s here,” you defended yourself over the line, then paused. “What do you mean? I am in the room on the fifth floor, the exact room you told me.”

You looked over to the man who had just closed the door again and your eyes locked with undefinable gazes. 

“This is the fourth floor.”

Then, you both asked the other as realization dawned at the same time,

“Who are you?”

[kenyukisser]

⤹ Was i wrong? 𝄞₊ ⊹

˖ ִֶָ 𝄞 Part 1

6 years gone, and he’s not reaching. Maybe because NAGI SEISHIRO knows you’re not there for him anymore.

Yet, a part of him just wished you stayed, and waited— It was selfish, he was selfish.

The night was drawn loose, the sound of cocktails clinking together, the colorful lights that reflected on your skin, the same one that was casting a warm glow over the crowded space. As the night progressed, the music grew louder. Variety of old friends watching and sipping on their drinks, while others mingled and made conversation over the noise.

Nagi Seishiro…was pretty much, Nagi Seishiro. He wasn’t the type to attend reunion parties. Unless, Reo dragged him along. Such a hassle. He’d think to himself, poor guy just wanted his passport renewed. Why else would he come back to Japan?

His perspective changed, not the instant he saw you—but when he saw you. God, in that a dress that complimented your features. He wanted to hide forever, somewhere out of your sight. He knew he was out of your sight anyways. The way you entertained the other guests, you’d smile the same way you did around him. God, you’re frustrating and he’s frustrated… over his own mistakes.

And he didn’t know he was showing his frustration, not until Reo saw the frown tugging on the side of his lips, he knew he had to do something.

Grabbing Nagi by the arm, dragging him across the entire dance floor. Not to see any other girl, not to pick up any other sponsors. He knew Nagi wanted to see you.

And there he was, next to you. While Reo was nagging about God knows who to you. While you stood there, unacknowledging the white-haired egoist beside him. He’s not one for worship. But he’d worship the floor you stand on.

And when another girl catches Reo’s eye he’d make an excuse up to leave, nudging Nagi by his shoulder shoulder before he whispered under his breath.

“don’t mess this up.” And he knew he wouldn’t.

Nagi knew it wasn’t easy, an apology is never easy for him. It’s not like his games where he has dialogues he can choose from, and you’re magically back into his arms. He knew he had to work for it, and he did so.

“Hey.” The white-haired man spoke, before he fell silent— letting it linger in the air despite the crowded room and loud music. The world around the two of you seemed to volume down.”

“...hey.” You replied shortly after. You know you’ve moved on; it can’t be any more awkward than this. Yet, a part of you misses him and wishes he goes away before things get worst.

He wasn’t the type to express things verbally, how he missed you, or how he was practically on the verge of insanity and how your absence leaves a hole in his heart.

And it was an itching feeling, something he wanted to throw away when he was at the UK.

Eventually, he realized the obvious. Nagi Seishiro was in love with you.

“..sorry.” he managed to mumble out, and before you knew it. His eyes were on the ground, he avoided your gaze. He felt vulnerable, his eyes filled with longing. His eyes filled with the thrill of what he’s feeling for you.

Your eyes widened in surprise, did the foreign country actually teach him actual human decency? Where was the egoist you were friends with.

“’ts fine, it was a long time ago.” You left me, I hated you. You brushed it off with your signature smile, ‘y’r so so pretty.’ He’d think to himself, ‘Prettier than the day he left you.’

But he wouldn’t budge with your response, the smile didn’t put him at ease at all. “not okay.” He murmured, pulling you in for an awkwardly initiated hug.

Sorry for not saying anything, for ending on bad terms. Sorry for… The world wasn’t forgiving. You were what he called home, and he hasn’t been home for awhile.

His thoughts were cut shortly, with the muffled sobbing on his shoulder. He didn’t want you to cry, he’s missed you too much to see that right now.

“..was my apology that bad?”

“God, Seishiro you are so stupid.” You replied in a mock hurt tone, although there were tears falling down to your cheek, you couldn’t help but smile.

And it took him a while, a long while but he got his feelings out, ranging from why he didn’t tell you to his unplanned confession.

“I hope we can try again.” He suggested, voice laced with uncertainty. He’d always consider your feelings, It’s different from the egoist on the field. He’d love you right this time, he wanted to see you smile again.

“of course, we can.”  

Maybe Manshine’s genius needed his passport renewed some other time.

aide memoire; this was inspired by my ex sort of haha lowls, it's bad i know pls bare w me my assessments are coming soon. I hope u guys like it!! reqss r very much welcome anyways. i dont bite:3

© KENYUKISSER 2023. all rights reserved.

[gardenvarietygay]

Book Review* - On Guerilla Gardening by Richard Reynolds

I don’t read many books, I prefer audiobooks, and I don’t read many nonfiction books in any format. I’m a person who prefers to listen to a fictional story or at least something narrative. However, my husband very sweetly got me this book for Christmas since he knows I’ve been curious about the topic.

The subtitle to this book is “a handbook for gardening without boundaries” but I think that the title alone, which suggests an academic treatise on the broad strokes of a subject ie “On Medieval Chivalric Codes of Honor” or “On Governance” is more fitting. (I believe the actual title Reynolds is referencing is the manual On Guerilla Warfare by Mao Zedong, make of that what you will.) The first 117 pages of this book are pure tedium. If someone needed to be convinced that planting flowers by roadsides was worthwhile, I think the author might talk them into it and back out by the end. Reynolds spends his time detailing real guerilla movements, chastising people for making gorilla/guerrilla gardening jokes, and explaining that flowers are prettier than concrete. I found it muddled, condescending and boring but when I looked up reviews of this book people seemed to think it was refreshing or something.

From page 121 onward, we have the practical advice. Actually, we have some very impractical advice surrounded by way more introduction than necessary. Even though Reynolds has spent 117 pages bashing you over the head with war metaphors, he still feels the need to include yet more war imagery before every bit of advice. I wasn’t offended by the WMD jokes or the frequent references to guns, it was certainly and odd choice but whatever, I was just annoyed that he kept this stupid gimmick up for all 247 pages. Sometimes jokes aren’t bad because they’re offensive, they’re simply not funny.

Writing style aside, the advice is pretty middling. The plants recommended are just based on the author’s personal experience growing plants on medians in London. Gardening is like politics, extremely local. I’m not begrudging the man his foxgloves and daffodils but they’re just not a good choice for an internationally-distributed book. He actually recommends planting invasive plants (as in plants that he knows are invasive in most places including the UK) so that they take over. He includes the barest of caveats about making sure you keep them in check, however the gordian knot of finding that balance will not be untied for us. Since specific gardening advice becomes useless before it even crosses a time zone, it strikes me that rather than spending 12 pages on plant recommendations, they should’ve simply cut this section or suggested broad categories for the international release.

We are told that seed bombs are the preferred method to scatter seeds and that some people put them in eggshells, some people mould them into guns (just like in war!!), some people put industrial binding agents into them, and some people use a device that somehow uses laughing gas. There are no recipes or real instructions, just anecdotes. There is no explanation of how laughing gas aids in seed spreading, that one might be a joke. On subjects such as water, tools, choosing locations, etc. the advice is very basic but solid enough.

To be frank, once I got into the anecdotes without advice section I started skimming and never stopped. There’s every possibility that on page 240 of this book he really turns things around and makes this mess into a manifesto but I don’t think that would save it for me.

This book left me generally unimpressed. The concept was cute until it was aggravating, the writing was such a repetitive slog that I ended up skimming over paragraphs, and the advice seemed either so specific that it couldn’t be generalized or so basic that it needn’t be printed and sold. The cover is cute, that’s a good thing because it will be staying closed on my bookshelf for a long time. I believe the first edition of this book came out in the early 2000s and it shows. Maybe if I read this book in 2008 I’d have been charmed but in 2024 I’m just annoyed and confused.

*Inspired by @plantyhamchuk’s gardening book reviews.

[joannerowling]

i'm just disappointed that the fandom latched onto the marauders and teens and do the most boring gay male ships imaginable out of them while basically no one but me thinks that the dynamic between lily and petunia is interesting to explore. disappointed but not surprised, because i know the fandom thinks writing (bad, homophobic) out of character yaoi is more fun than exploring literally any female characters (especially if they can't write sex into it). disappointed nonetheless.

You and me both. I'm doubly interested in Lily and Petunia's relationship because i can't stop myself from comparing it to Jo and her sister Dianne's relationship. (Truly, in general, siblings relationships fly under the radar a lot in this fandom, it's all about shipping, but when you look at canon the deepest and messiest dynamics are all familial. And it makes sense for a child lit series, i think! Fairy tales follow that very pattern, romantic issues rarely feature in them, even when the pursuit of a love interest is central to the plot; whereas parents and siblings are more complex, they can be the hero's strongest ally or enemy.)

Anyways, i'm endlessly fascinated by the fact that Jo mimicked her own familial structure with the Evans specifically, and the character she put in her own position - the older sister - is Petunia, who is jealous of her younger, prettier and kinder sister and of her literal magical powers.

I mean, it could have been the opposite, right? The older sister could have been Harry's talented and beloved deceased mother, but that's not the choice Jo made. We'll never know if she did it consciously or not but imo it kinda gives out a self-deprecating nature. I'm only speculating but it's possible she at some point shared some of the feelings of resentment Petunia has for Lily. We know from interviews that the Rowlings had a bizarre way of referring to their daughters as "the Smart One" (Jo) and "the Pretty One" (Dianne) which without overblowing it doesn't feel like something that would have been good for either of their self-esteem.

However, unlike Lily and Petunia, JKR and her sister are very close, in fact Dianne Rowling was the one who helped her after her first marriage ended and she came back to the UK. She dedicated Philosopher's Stone to her (alongside her mother and daughter). So perhaps she built Petunia as a version of herself that could have existed had she been unable to move on from old hurt or rivalry (again, all of that is speculative and my own musings).

Regardless of biographical connections, i find Petunia a very compelling character. Vernon Dursley is a great caricature (whose echoes continue to entertain in Jo's later adult books), but Petunia feels real past the satire. The way i see her, she's a deeply self-hating person who clings to "normalcy" because she feels abnormal inside. People don't naturally like her, she doesn't have Lily's charisma and easy personality, she's difficult. When she calls Lily a "freak", it's obviously a projection, she uses the insult she secretly would apply to herself. It doesn't make her too dissimilar from the likes of Hermione (especially since Hermione was supposed to have a little sister too!), and so i can't help but find her a bit sympathetic, despite her terrible life choices, cowardice and refusal to self-reflect. Much like Snape, she was terrible to Harry but she also saved his life.

[unnervinglyferal]

List of European countries and why I hate them, in alphabetical order:

Albania - I've never heard fucking anything about the people here, do you people even do anything save for having beef with everyone else in the Balkans. Fuck you.

Andorra - I don't think this place is even a real country. It's like the size of my dick. Fuck you.

Austria - You know what you did. Fuck you.

Belarus - Sucking Russia's dick just for the novelty of getting to be featured in their ongoing cringe compilation. An utter embarrassment. Fuck you.

Belgium - If there's two things I hate, it's colonialist brutality and the fucking smurfs. Fuck you.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Despite all the rest of their shitshow, at least the rest of the Balkans can at least agree whether they're one country or two countries. Make up your minds. Fuck you.

Bulgaria - The best thing you've got going on is the yoghurt and even that isn't as good as the greek ones. Fuck you.

Croatia - Out of all the countries in Europe whose existence I had literally forgot about, this is the oldest and the largest. How do you trace your history back to the fucking antiquity and only barely seem to exist at all? Fuck you.

Cyprus - I actually had to google to check that Cyprus isn't just a part of Greece, but apparently you gained independence from the UK in 1960? How the fuck are you in Europe and get colonized by Europe. Fuck you.

Czech Republic - Your main export is utterly unpronounceable last names. There's a reason why you can't shouldn't be allowed to put five consonants in a row. Fuck you.

Denmark - Annoyingly smug golden retriever-ass mushy-faced fucks. If I pressed my open palm into a dane's face, it would ooze through my fingers because these mushy fucks don't have bones.

Estonia - The bitter, prettier and smarter sister to Finland who is passive-aggressively better at everything but still doesn't get the same attention. Finns show up to your shores to raid the booze stores, vomit on everything, and leave, and you just let them. Fuck you.

Finland - An entire nation of spoiled ivory tower whiners who just will not understand how good they have it. The entire country would die out by mass suicide if things ever got half as bad as they are in the rest of the world. Fuck you.

France - The only reason why the french aren't known as an equal mass of colonialist brutes as the brits are is the language barrier. They're just as stupid but you'll never know what they're thinking because they consider learning another language to be beneath them. Fuck you.

Georgia - The americans stole your name and put it on a state and you just fucking let them. Now we have to hear about their utter lack of understanding of geography every single time some shit happens at your borders. Fuck you.

Germany - I'm jewish. And looking at your involvement in Israel, I'm starting to think you people don't really even care that much whose side you're on, if there's a genocide happening anywhere, you just like to be included. Fuck you.

Greece - You have like 4000 years of recorded history verifying that you've spent that entire time thinking you're smarter and prettier than anyone else in the whole world. You specifically invented the word hubris to describe yourselves. Fuck you.

Hungary - I'm pretty sure that you guys are the reason why people think all of Europe is a backwards shithole. Fuck you.

Iceland - The only reason you people can dedicate all of your time in inbreeding ponies and people is because your climate is so miserable that nobody wants to move there. Fuck you.

Ireland - Your climate is just as wet and miserable as Iceland, but you still got colonized by the english. Fuck you.

Italy - I've never met an italian who was capable of doing anything in a punctual and organized way. Imagining a whole country being run by italians seems impossible. Like having 15 cats successfully operating a tank. Fuck you.

Kosovo - What the fuck even is the Balkans. You guys don't even have your own language. Fuck you.

Latvia - Like Estonia without any of the good parts. Fuck you.

Liechtenstein - This isn't even a real country, this is just the quarantine containment where Switzerland ships the people who are too annoying for Switzerland. Fuck you.

Lithuania - The most boring of the Baltics. Fuck you.

Luxembourg - There is no way this place is fucking real. The fuck do you mean your citizens are called luxembourgers. The fuck do you mean your official language is luxembourgish. What the fuck is any of this. Fuck you.

Malta - Same thing as Liechtenstein, but for all surrounding countries around the Mediterranean sea. Fuck you.

Moldova - How and why is there a tiny-ass country the size of my dick on the border of the Balkans. How does this exist. Fuck you.

Monaco - This isn't a real country, it's a french ploy for tax evasion. Fuck you.

Montenegro - Oh won't you look at that, another teeny tiny Balkan country. Montenegrin is the stupidest name I've ever heard for a language, that sounds like a comedy bit. Fuck you.

Netherlands - Fuck your weed and fuck your bicycles. Fuck you.

North Macedonia - This also feels like a country they just made up just to make the list of European countries longer. Fuck you.

Norway - Fuck your oil and fuck you.

Poland - Your main export is far right politics and porn-addicted communist furry femboys. Fuck you.

Portugal - Spain but a little bit to the left. The only way to tell the spanish and the portugese apart is by whether they get mad when you call them spanish. Fuck you.

Romania - Get your fucking shit together. Fuck you.

Russia - Fuck you.

San Marino - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate less because it only contains tax evaders.

Serbia - The only thing I know about Serbia is A Serbian Film. Fuck that film and fuck you for making me remember it.

Slovakia - The wettest, saddest slavs of all the slavs of Europe. Fuck you.

Slovenia - Slovene is the second-stupidest name I've ever heard for a language. Fuck you.

Spain - I have no idea how the fuck a people who are as disorganized as italians managed to also be as competent as france and britain at colonialism. Fuck you.

Sweden - As smug and mushy as danes and as inbred as icelanders. Fuck you.

Switzerland - You know what you did. And continue doing. Fuck you.

Ukraine - You wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you hadn't trusted Soviet Union's pinky promise to never invade. A russian's promise is not worth the oxygen it wastes. You guys are cool but nonetheless, fuck you.

United Kingdom - Fuck you smug bastards for everything.

Vatican City - Italy has two stupid little city-states as pets. This one is the one I hate more because it contains the pope. Fuck you.

[kinda-iconic]

I’m never one to delve into politics on here, as my views are my own and don’t concern others, but I am finding it impossible to say silent about this.

To all the women that didn’t get the result that you hoped for last night - I’m so sorry.

I cannot comprehend how people could support someone that has no regard for the wellbeing of women and their decisions as to what they do with their own body.

I don’t speak as an American, but rather someone who has been lucky enough to have access to women’s healthcare whenever and wherever it’s needed. I haven’t been judged or ridiculed based on what I choose to do with my own body - but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t experienced things simply because I am a woman.

I am sick and tired of seeing other women being treated like dirt because of who they are or who they want to be.

I am sick and tired of people acting as though it’s okay to make comments on the weight and appearance of a child - being told to ‘smile more’ and how I’d be ‘prettier if I wasn’t fat’ at TWELVE YEARS OLD. I’m sick of being scared to walk around my own village at night in fear of possibly being followed or attacked. I am sick to death of being told by people that I can’t do the same things my brother does because I’m a woman and by doing so it ‘would put me in danger’.

Or being told that women usually go into education because ‘their natural instinct is to be a mother’ - or hearing about women who have been asked at a job interview when they’re thinking about having children and having said decision as to whether or not you get the job being based on the likelihood of you going on maternity leave.

And being told at 17 by a 20 year old male that the gender pay gap in the UK is made up BS and that I should ‘stop complaining and move on’.

I’ve been the girl that has been on the receiving end of sexist comments; I have been the girl who was followed down the road as a child by grown men. I have been the girl who has been chased by someone for merely being polite and not giving them what they wanted.

It sucks. It really does.

But people don’t care; people don’t care if it doesn’t affect them and it shows. It’s always been obvious, but last night confirmed it.

We’re living in the 21st century, but we’re still in the 19th century when it comes to men’s attitudes towards women.

I’m not an object.

I’m not a toy or a punching bag.

I have a feelings.

My body is MY body.

I have a voice, and I’m sure as hell going to use it.

[mistressemmedi]

I told a girl at my uni who is apparently from Monaco but I swear she just french that Monaco was just an ugly construction site and that you could probably fine somewhere prettier in the uk. She stormed out of the flat I think it’s just they think their better because they don’t pay taxes

Not the Monaco beef irl 💀

[literaticat]

As far as pen names go, would it be better for a pen name to reflect my ethnic origins the way my real name does or should I use something that sounds generically Anglo-Saxon? I feel like the latter would be more accessible but the first feels more honest??

You are free to do what makes you most comfortable and happy, of course -- but there is no need to whitewash your own cultural identity or heritage just to please random strangers.

If you were a rando white person who wanted to take on an "ethnic sounding" name in order to mislead people into assuming you were from a culture not your own -- that'd be cultural appropriation, and gross to say the least.

The reverse isn't true. There is a long, long history of people with complicated or so-called "weird"*** names changing them to something ostensibly "prettier" or easier for strangers to pronounce or remember, more "mainstream", etc etc. That goes for both entertainers and authors as well as regular folks going through Ellis Island or whatever. Józef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski became Joseph Conrad, English-language literary novelist. Archibald Leach became Cary Grant, Hollywood star. So-and-so Broniewski became So-and-so Brown.

That's NOT appropriation, that's more like assimilation.

And fair enough -- listen, obviously there's still racism and xenophobia in this country - can you imagine coming to the US or UK in the 1910's or 20's and wanting to, say, open a store or write for a newspaper or be in a movie or whatever with a lengthy and/or unusual and/or difficult to pronounce foreign-language name? Sadly, you probably would not have gotten past the front desk.

The thing is, this is not the 1920s -- while I'm not saying America is perfect now by any stretch, at least I DO think mainstream Whitemericans are much more used to and appreciative of Interesting Names these days than they used to be.

Meanwhile, it's not just Whitemericans who buy books. People of all cultures and creeds read books. Representation matters! Maybe kids with your cultural background haven't seen many awesome authors from wherever-you're-from with your less-usual kind of name. Maybe your success will make them feel seen. That's cool!

The Whitemericans who you presumably want to appeal to -- those who are nice and buy books -- won't care. (On the other hand, the type of a-holes who would discriminate against or make fun of somebody's name are probably not big readers anyway, so to heck with them!)

All of which is to say: You have every right to use a pen-name that is meaningful to you and reflects your own heritage/culture if you want to do that, and there's no particular reason not to. Especially if you are writing books that are set in or around that culture! Like -- you have legit claim to that identity -- you aren't pulling a Yellowface here.

BUT, if you WANT to pick an "Anglo-Saxon" kind of a name for whatever reason -- (Maybe your books have nothing to do with your cultural identity at all and you just want something that sounds "Romance Novel"-ish, or maybe you have a lengthy name and want one that is easier to sign, or maybe you want to hide your cultural identity because you have family in the Old Country who might get in trouble for your work -- I don't know!) -- that's fine, too.

Just know that, while it's VERY VERY common to have a pen-name, it's usually for general "privacy" or "I don't really like my given name" reasons, and authors often choose a name that is pretty close to their actual name, but a nickname or a family name or something like that, or something that is meaningful but "sounds better" to them.

I think, these days, choosing a VERY different generic Anglo-Saxon name for purely "culture-hiding" reasons would be somewhat a less common choice, and it's quite unlikely any publisher would EXPECT or DEMAND that you hide your culture in that way.

*** I put "scare quotes" around certain words here, like "ethnic sounding" and "weird" and "prettier" and "mainstream" -- because I don't think any names actually ARE any of those things per se, but some people might say they are.

[violivs]

NMTDaily: A Wild Hero Appears

- It makes me a little sad that Bea tweets out this video with “meet the prettier version of me”. You’re beautiful in your own right, Beatrice, and I don’t think Hero would want you to compliment her by putting yourself down. This moment starts to show Beatrice’s insecurities, in a very teenage-girl way. It feels very accurate to that time of life for sure.

- What’s interesting, though, is that this tweet, where Bea thinks of herself as less pretty than Hero, is a direct parallel to and reversal of the moment in a future episode when Claudio tells Ben who he likes (Hero), and asks what Ben thinks of her, and Ben says he prefers her cousin, naming no names. These lines are adapted from the play. Now, I’m not going to say it’s good or ok for the guys to be comparing the girls to each other, even unintentionally, and of course Beatrice has to develop her own self-confidence outside of what anyone else thinks of her. But it is very sweet that at the time she makes that self-deprecating tweet, Beatrice already, unknown to her, has someone who looks at her before anyone else, who always thinks she’s the prettiest girl in the room. It’s just that even he doesn’t know it yet! Ben has thought Beatrice was gorgeous since long before he could admit it to himself, and that just makes me happy.

- I bet Hero’s “you’re not so bad looking yourself, Bea” is her answer to the tweet. She’s too sweet even to directly address it.

- Hero reading TFIOS is so incredibly 2014. (I can also tell she’s an actress and isn’t actually reading it right now because she’s that far into the book and she isn’t SOBBING. I’ll never forget how hard I cried and I’m not afraid to admit it.)

- “Hero it’s Darcy on a horse” being the thing to get her attention is hilarious and adorable and how many Jane Austen Movie Nights do we think she and Bea have had? Definitely some!

- Hero is adorable and we love her enthusiasm and many many video ideas 😆

- there are so many amazing quotes in this episode. “room tour. room tour. ROOM TOUR”; “I am very proud of the witty capabilities of 3-in-the-morning me” amazing.

- Bea is starting what’s essentially senior year in April at a new school. That has to be stressful. Good that she seems cheery about it. I’m sure she’s not at all worried about who else is in her classes…

- Now I want lemonade! Lol. But US lemonade for me. Research is telling me that NZ/Aotearoa lemonade is just basically lemon soda, like it is in the UK, as opposed to the US lemon juice + water + sugar situation. I hope Bea gets to try US lemonade on her travel year. It’s so good when it’s good.

- the Hersula origins! “She’s so lovely I catch myself wanting her to insult me” 💕

- Shoutout to the NMTD Fandom Revival Discord for catching the fact that Bea’s line “what is this cake even for” is a reference to the TARDIS cake Ursula shared on her tumblr, showing that Ursula and Hero surprised Bea with the cake for no reason at all, they’re just that sweet and lovely!

- A brief aside: Ursula’s tumblr has been lovely. She’s posted lots of desserts including one that she said is her dad’s specialty, so now I headcanon that she likes to bake because it’s something she and her dad do together. Ursula lore!

- Poor Meg. It’s tough to be an early bloomer, and you can tell the girls know they shouldn’t be making fun of her for it. I’m glad Hero told Bea to stop, but she was still going along with it and was the one who said the “Queen of Scream” line. We know they’ll learn, though.

- I also notice the link to Ursula’s first video in the description of this episode is now broken and goes to a page that says the video doesn’t exist. Fortunately VOX POPS is alive, well, and next in the playlist. Interesting how links break over time.

- This episode is apparently from before the characters start answering YouTube comments, I checked the comment section. That’s something I’m interested to see whether the NMTDaily emails will highlight, because I remember the characters’ comments being very fun to read! Good for immersion too!

- I’m embarrassed to even admit this, and I blame growing up without cable tv or video games, but I’m just now realizing this title is a Pokémon reference. This show was always even nerdier and more full of pop culture references than I realized! Excited to see if I find anything else I didn’t get before!

💖🥭🦩

[uncloseted]

how can I make friends as an adult when everyone around me complains they don't have friends but never want to meet up to do anything or hang out? I really feel like people don't like me and they would hang out if I was cooler/prettier/funnier/had more to offer.

So I think the kind of good news is that even if you were cooler, prettier, funnier, you would still be in this position. The way society is structured, particularly in countries like the US and the UK, makes it really difficult to make and maintain friendships. Some people have even said that we're in a "friendship recession" right now. According to one study, 12% of Americans report having no friends.

Even those who do have friends only spend about 4.5 hours a week with them as of 2019, significantly less time than they used to. There are a lot of reasons that this happens. People live further away from their friends than they used to and they work longer hours, so finding a common time to meet becomes difficult, people may not have enough energy in their down time to want to go out, and going out is a bigger commitment. For most people, you can't just run into a friend while doing errands anymore, and there aren't a ton of third spaces where you can go with the expectation that you'll see someone you know. I think a lot of us are also just out of practice when it comes to socializing- I think not being able to go out during the pandemic has had a real impact on people's tolerance for socializing and idea of how much socializing is normal. Plus, social media gives us the feeling that we're socializing, even when we're not, so I think a lot of people feel burnt out by all the "socializing" they're doing on social media and then not having energy to see people in person. Plus, we have more low-energy activities that we can do alone than ever before. It's just easier to sit on the couch and watch Netflix than it is to get up and meet people.

So, what do we do? As annoying as it is, I think the answer is that we have to put ourselves out there, try to meet people, and try to build communities. Maybe you start small by signing up for a class, organization, volunteer group, club, team, etc. in your area that meets once a week and shares your same interests. Maybe you start going on BumbleBFF dates with people in your area who are also looking for friends. Maybe you join one of those MeetUp groups or Facebook groups that are specifically for young people looking to make friends. Maybe you invite your neighbors over for dinner. Maybe you put more effort into planning get-togethers with your friends. Maybe you just start going to a lot of events by yourself and seeing if there's anyone interesting there. You could even try to put together a MeetUp group that specifically tries to target the kind of people you would want to be friends with (I've actually been considering doing this one a lot recently). None of that on its own will guarantee you make a friend, but the more you put yourself out there, the more likely it is that you'll meet someone you really click with, and the more likely it is that you'll meet other people who are also passionate about making and maintaining friendships.

[sofoulandfairaday]

12 and 25 for ask thingy <3

from: choose violence ask game

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

With Harry Potter, this is hard to answer because all my favourite characters have a fairly decent amount of fans, especially in fandom spaces (or maybe it's my own hyper-curated fandom experience talking...), even though they might not be loved by casual readers/watchers. I'm going to say Dumbledore, just because, in my opinion, he gets a disproportionate amount of hatred in the fandom, with people who warp his character so much they make him out to be the villain. He's a very flawed human being, but he's meant to be good. He's meant to be compassionate. He's no more ruthless than, say, Hermione is; the difference between these two is in their ages, lived experiences, and responsibilities. Dumbledore is a character meant to show the cost of wearing the crown, that power is best wielded by those who do not want it, and that those who recognize their shortcomings (i.e. being power-hungry) must continuously work to keep themselves in check. We are supposed to see him as grey by the end of the series, we are supposed to recognize his failures and his humanity, but he's never not been a good, compassionate person or at least someone trying to do better. The only thing he isn't is selfish or needlessly cruel. This is the hill I'll die on. To me, he's one of the series's best-written characters (before the FB movies, at least).

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

so. fucking. many. I can't list them all, I'll just say that a good... 80% of the time when someone says “x is problematic” they're not applying basic critical thinking skills/are deliberately taking things out of context. The other day I saw someone complaining about how problematic it is that in GoF Hermione is slandered by Rita Skeeter in the press, and no adults intervene... My dude, that's the whole point. The author was making a point about how insidious the tabloids are, especially in the UK and how there is really nothing anyone can do because of a) their reach and b) how desensitized everyone is (even Mrs Weasley believes them and she's not written to be a bad person; making her gullible and a little prejudiced makes her human). Or how problematic the portrayal of characters like Fleur and Cho is... but. like. Is it really that uncommon for teenage girls like Ginny and Hermione to dislike another, prettier girl? Before #girlpower was cool was it that uncommon for there to be competition? Is it unheard of for a mother-in-law to hate her future daughter-in-law, even for stupid reasons? I think it makes them more human, more well-rounded and therefore better characters.

[ivyblooms]

Hiiii this might be weird lol but I saw your addition to the post discussing the correlation between the gay trans men phenomenon to misogyny and you brought up the topic of rising trans slash in fanfics - as someone whose been in fandoms for like 10+ years you’re sooo right!! Even though I do read all sorts of fanfic (gay, lesbian, platonic) I’d say I’ve always had a more critical approach in fandom stuff (plus getting more into radfem theory about 3 years ago) and from the get go I always saw the ~majority~ of male slash fanfic created by women as an expression of romance/smut through a non-misogynistic lens; “men get to be people while women are women yadda yadda”. A perception I’ve always had at the back of my mind, so it always confused me when in the past 5ish years suddenly women who had consumed so much gay fanficton were proclaiming they must actually be gay men

You mentioned the rise in trans slash media and honestly I thought I was going crazy lol. There has definitely been a huge shift, where suddenly the components that made the work gay could just be altered and it’s supposedly still the same. Apologies if this seems vulgar but the switch to now male characters actually being trans, feminization in sexual/non sexual manners, and sometimes just having a “boyp*ssy” at minimum has been really fucking weird, and in some fandom spaces I’m in the change seems to have skyrocketed in the past ~6 months

Honestly sorry for the random ramble and feel free to disregard but I would love to know if you have anymore to say on this topic. I think I’ve only encountered one light discussion overlapping fanfiction / feminist theory, so it’s always interesting when I see the topic brought up!

No worries sis, it's not weird.

I am there with you. I'd been noticing the trend but when I wanted to have a quick look at Captain Marvel femslash I was like 3 pages of results in and still hadn't seen one that didn't include 'girlpenis' or equivalent. I was legit annoyed, the last thing anyone wants when looking for fxf is the word penis getting involved.

I don't want to discount homophobic fetishisation of course. As a lesbian I never really believed that was real until I finally saw some hetero fandom friends genuinely being sexually attracted to males cast in live action versions of a cartoon and I was like .. wait a second u guys were serious?? So yeah thats real, but I highly doubt it's the main reason. Especially when so many lesbians are super into slash fic as well.

So to your point, while I do think the popularity of gay male slash fiction has largely been due to women wanted to escape misogyny, I don't believe it's been a conscious thought. I don't believe many of these girls and women actively thought they are lesser than men, I don't think choosing to write mxm was a decision to highlight misogyny, I think it's just an entirely internalised 'feeling' that somehow putting a woman with a man is demeaning or inequitable therefore they want their favourite blorbo to be with someone that doesnt give them that feeling. And, to straight women, men are hot.

Like notice how so many of the pov men in older mxm fics are the one that bottoms? Even the concept of strict set in stone roles for top and bottom defining your character (seme and uke) really is more reminiscent of hetero relationships that actual real life gay relationships. I truly do think there is reason to believe this is due to making one character (the bottom) more relatable as a subconscious woman stand in. They were always shorter, they were almost always weaker, they had less body hair, they were almost always prettier and more feminine, their male genitalia was small and often barely remarked on and there was no question that their main participation in sex was being penetrated. They were trans men before the idea of trans men and gender being unrelated to sex really ramped up.

It makes perfect sense to me that the next step in that train of thought, that men and women feel unequal and gender is not related to sex, is "well I relate to men as an equal therefore I must also be a man". Like if you haven't stepped back to understand your own bias, how would you ever realise the true answer is women are equal humans despite the way the world treats us? It's not correct and it comes from a place of homophobia where straights consider gayness a club they can join on a whim rather than a meaningful material experience, but it's understandable that's the leap being made.

You are right, it has gotten so much worse over the last six months. Maybe ABO has finally become truely accepted and now anyone feels they can put any genitals on any character like its a mix and match. Maybe trans ideology has finally fully taken over the majority of fandom spaces. Maybe actual gay writers and fans got sick of so much unwanted hetero we have started dropping out of popular fandom spaces.

Seriously trying to find gay fanfiction now is so much harder than ever before, but it's something people not in fandom spaces are missing because if you see nothing more than the characters in ships you'd think it was gay. Fandom spaces are becoming hostile to homosexuality in a way I wouldn't have predicted 10 years ago. I think they probably always were, tbh, it was just that misogynistic straight women didn't realise they had another option and could get by on the fetish until they found this solution.

[clairelovette]

[ cis woman | she&her ] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [CLAIRE LOVETTE]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [ELLE FANNING]. You must be the [TWENTY-THREE] year old [BALLERINA]. Word is your [COMPASSIONATE] but can also be a bit [FERVENT] and your favorite song is [WHITE HOUSES BY VANESSA CARLTON]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

NAME: Claire Artemisia Lovette GENDER & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: Cis Woman (She/Her) AGE: 23 BIRTHDAY: February 19, 2000 ZODIAC: Pisces Sun (Aquarius Cusp), Virgo Rising, Cancer Moon SEXUALITY & ROMANCE: Bisexual / Biromantic FACE CLAIM: Elle Fanning OCCUPATION: Ballerina HOMETOWN: Wiltshire, UK CURRENT RESIDENCE: Ocean Crest Apartments @ Aurora Bay CHARACTER PLAYLIST: HERE.

" AND SHE'S SO PRETTY AND SHE'S SO SURE - MAYBE I'M MORE CLEVER THAN A GIRL LIKE HER "

Claire was born to William and Claudette Lovette on a rainy morning. Her parents, to this day, swear that she was the reason the rain stopped. She understood the sentiment, but she loves the rain and could never see herself willing it to stop.

Her father was a philosophy professor in Cambridge. As she grew up, she was always taught to take a step back from a situation and look at it from all the possible perspectives. Her mother claims her curiosity for the world and deeper understandings stem from her father. That is, when he wasn't filling her head with fairytales.

Her mother was a model who retired in order to take of Claire. Though she loved the girl, she wound up going back into fashion as a marketing executive. Because of this, Claire spent her life from the ages of 5 until 14 traveling around Europe. The only constant being dance classes that she always was sure her mother signed her up for.

It was when she was 14, that she moved to Aurora Bay. It was extended family matters that pulled the Lovette family from their dreamy bubble across the pond, to the coastal town in America. Claire hasn't left, ever since. She's grown deep connections here, and actually works as a professional ballerina for The Southern California Ballet; but she also does travel for her work as well, and one can see her on TikTok teaching others specific ballet moves or logging her daily thoughts.

" IT'S ALRIGHT AND IT'S NICE NOT TO FEEL SO ALONE. BUT I HOLD ONTO YOUR SECRETS "

Claire is compassionate, kind and looks at the world through a pink lens. She likes to see the best in people, even if they don't deserve it. Prone to dramatics, the blonde feels things at such an intensity that at times she needs to step away. One can often find her reading the classics, cuddled up with a cappuccino. Though raised wealthy, she does enjoy the finer things in life but Claire could go without any of it. She never truly fit into her family's high-society, and it may not show in her delicate nature but it will when someone catches her climbing a tree or dancing in the rain. She's a true girls'-girl; always supportive, and has been even with competition in her dancing world. Though she loves ballet, it has effected her self worth; the young woman always thinking she can be thinner, prettier, ect. Sometimes the worth of her beauty was always deemed more important than her brain, and this sort of trauma pops up every now and again. This makes her prone to fits of existential crises and she retreats into herself or acts out in huge displays of grandeur. She falls in love at the drop of a hat and partly blames her parents for this, but also loves very intensely. This can make her blind to red flags and come off as naive, hoenstly. She likes rom-coms, strawberries, bonfires at the beach and champagne. She's happiest when she's in an art museum, on stage dancing, or playing the piano. Claire, due to being able to remove herself from her friends' situations, tends to give great advice but can't follow it herself. She loves pink, okay? Soft. Delicate. Pink. High-femme energy. Has watched Marie Antoinette on repeat and definitely has seen Barbie over 5 times in one week. She does love to analyze film and art, and often times than not her intellect is overlooked due to her outside appearance. She's honestly just that light in the dark; little doses of sunshine when the world seems doom and gloom.

[everythingaboutjude]

It's definitely that private account belonging to jbennetts23. Someone mentioned that a person known by Madueke follows that account, and he follows Noni as well. The connection with the name seems like too much of a coincidence – they’re probably all part of the same circle. Plus, it wouldn't make sense for Jude to have a separate hookup account because he clearly interacts with girls on his public account, whether openly or not.

And how did that anonymous person even know so much? These women don't really seem like his type – maybe for a one-time hookup, but not enough for him to create a whole separate account. If it were really his, he’d likely follow more women who actually are his type, or at least not follow the same ones as on his public account. It’s definitely not Jobes or Jude’s account.

Like i said, these women aren't the type he'd go through the trouble of making a private account for. And why would they follow his main account if they were trying to keep things secret? He could easily follow much prettier girls from all over, not just escorts in the UK.

"And why would they follow his main account if they were trying to keep things secret?" THIS!!!

I agree with you!

[49-ibr]

The ballroom was alive with sweet music, and filled with iridescent sunbeams flooding through the stained-glass windows.

The sunbeams danced in every shade, and those folk that filled the grand ballroom danced, too. They danced and they danced and they danced and they danced.

Twirling. Leaping. Writhing.

Moving so quickly that they were almost blurs, with patches of skin exposed by gorgeous, oddly-shaped ballgowns.

The prince was the only one in the whole room that was still.

He was perched on the edge of his elegant throne, one leg crossed over the other. And he watched every gentleman and every lady, wondering who, exactly, he would pick.

Not for love.

But to join the decorations of his palace.

Skin was prettier than marble, after all.

(This is based on the magic of Flesh in my fantasy series, 49! Book 01 is available now! 49: VOLUME 01 by Isabelle Bisson-Routhier!)

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