#UGH ITS SO ANNOYING
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I think the worst part about being disabled is just how MANY issues you get in one go. Like a 9-for-1 type of deal but for shit you'd rather not deal with but now you're stuck with it. And on one hand I'd love for that to not become my entire personality! Yet at the same time every little thing decides how I'm interacting with the world as a whole and everything and everyone around me, you cannot remove those things from the equation and so there's nothing to do but to try and quell the shame and embarrassment in favour of actually growing a psychological spine that's built better than my physical one. The mourning for all the hopes and ambitions you had to give up in order to survive is an ongoing process of mourning but the time will pass anyway and so all one can do is keep going and keep surviving.
#im not even gonna list all the issues cause that will make me feel like shit#but its all just so much i feel like i have no bandwidth for anything else#im slightly more functional during warm months and the rest is just hibernation#which doesnt mesh well when youre an overly ambitious and productive and energetic outdoors person at your core lol#ugh its so annoying#i cant distract myself from all thesr thoughts while trapped in my bed so fuck me i guess LMAO#at this point im too tired to even feel sorry about complaining about all this#my blog my posta i do what i want#either there are other disabled and chronically ill people here who get it#or there are abled people who *should* actively hear about it and what its like#i promise you i have many qualities being ill and disabled is just one of those lol#silvi talks
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people who say that theyre "the only one right about this character" and then u open their page and its the most horrendous, twisted, far-fetched mischaracterization youve ever seen

#like genuinely who let you think that that was at all accurate im so dead#especially because they diss all the other people who talk about the character#but theyre talking about people who are actually right ?? or at least not SO far-fetched#a rare conundrum#it reeks of self obsession tbh like its one thing to make fun of people for how they see a character when the characterization is harmless#and another to make such bold claims about how ur the only right one#and then not even be right ??? u had one job#ugh its so annoying#jokingly saying u know everything abt ur character is different than being a straight up dick about it like wtf#if ur gonna make fun of other peoples takes and treat them like theyre dumb.. at LEAST make sure yours arent fucking dumb too#you smell bad btw#not tagging this i actually dont want people seeing this one lmao#meows post
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feel like I have a love hate relationship with Tumblr at this point 😭
Went to look at the old requests I had in my drafts, and they're gone :(
So I'm rly sorry if your ask never got answered...
There's a chance in the future I can write it once I do normal requests again, or if you think your ask wasn't answered then you can always send it in with a song for my future event which I'm still taking in ideas for
Sorry again guys :( wish they didn't disappear
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bro there's 2 asks in my inbox but whenever i click it i can't see anything 😭😭 idk if it's just a random glitch or not but if anyone sent me an ask, im so sorry for not replying 🙏🙏
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Its THE most annoying thing ever when I see a ship and they’re so cute. Like omg adorable.
But then I find out its the most popular ship in the fandom. Or someone has told me to engage with the media that ship is from too many times and my PDA is like “WELP I can never like this ship now”
Like nooooo
Let me enjoy the popular ship of cute characters plsssss -_-
#i can list a handful of ships I havent engaged with cause of my pda#ugh its so annoying#autism#autism problems#pda autism#shipping
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I want to do a painting but I don't want to go buy new paints since presumably my old paints are here Somewhere in the house. Presumably.
#i prib had like 30 decent sized tubes of paint that ive bought iver the past decade so if i were to replace em itd be so expensive#ugh its so annoying#i just dont understand where they went like when i say ive searched the entire house over multiple weeks i mean it
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It's so inconvenient. I cry when I'm frustrated, sad, happy, and most of all angry. I hate being angry so it makes me cry.
Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?
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i havent had a proper crush in so long omg this feels so weird
#sorry i just had to type it down somewhere 😭#thinking abt him makes me have cuteness aggression#UGH ITS SO ANNOYING#ITS BEEN 5 MONTHS I THOUGH IT WOULD GO AWAY OR SMTH#chat i've fallen for someone#not f1 related
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There's a puss filled bump the size of a fucking boulder on my chin and it's been sitting there for a year
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Yes i did find the opera delightful.
#ouaw fanart#ouaw#once upon a witchlight#legends of avantris#my art#torbek#morning frost#hootsie grimgrin#i know the tower is innacurate but i drew this first then checked and then decided to ignore it#hope this has a kinda kids book quality of illustration cause that what i was going for#also currently on ep32 and....ugh i might be becoming a twig hater#she's just really annoying and too childish and fucks up everything and its really getting on my nerves#i know this is the goofy silly podcast and i do really like Nikkis dming but god i sooo dislike twig rn#she was so fun at first but rn she's so annoying and i do hate her :(#in better news i loved the play it was very fun#and bavlorna is very intresting
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imo we need more well adjusted ghost x completely emotionally unstable soap. like this guy goes on leave and is basically just in a depressive episode the whole time. his apartment is a disaster, he barely leaves the house, because he doesnt know how to function outside of the military.
meanwhile ghost has houseplants that his sweet middle aged neighbor waters for him when he's gone, and sometimes he watches her kids for her when he's on leave so she can go like be a person without them. ghost has friends (none of them are super crazy close, but they hang out when they can) and hobbies (he's fond of birdwatching and gardening when he can). he doesn't wear his mask on leave, because why would he? he's not ghost at home, just simon.
one day he invites soap over. soap freaks, because he's gross, he feels like shit, and he's probably been wearing the same t-shirt for a week. he showers and tries to make himself presentable but he's just... off. simon ends up inviting him to stay at his place for the remainder of leave because he just can't bear to see his friend in this state. blah blah blah they get closer blah blah blah they smooch blah blah simon teaches soap how to be a person instead of a weapon blah blah
#u feel me#call of duty#cod mw2#cod#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#ghostsoap#also im so annoyed i dont have a p keycap and its so awful to type soap so many times#like ugh
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What if the two worst guys in the whole world were madly in love with each other?
#ANOTHER ONE#(in that annoying meme voice)#hold on real tags ugh#death note#lawlight#light yagami#l lawliet#my art#l x light#light x l#anyway drew this while listening to my Halsey playlist from middle school#I love turning 13 again it feels great#ALSO colors by Halsey is so lawlight and NONE OF YOU are talking about it#like come onnnnn its soooo red and blue#AND NOW YOURE TEARING THROUGH THE PAGES AND THE INK? guys. its so good#also L smokes. soooooo that is ALSO in the song#get on my pre teen Halsey wave length please#I WAS RED AND YOU WERE BLUE COMEONNNNNN#okay sorry im listening to it while tagging whoops#also I literally did this sketch and rendered it from scratch THREE TIMES#it just wasn’t doing what I wanted.#even now im honestly not thrilled with soooo many parts I could write an essay#but I am giving up.#this is what giving up looks like xoxo
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I am p convinced most of those posts complaining about books where characters constantly introduce themselves by their microlabels are popular mainly with people who have never read or seen a book like that. Same with the complaints over "poly lesbian barbarians in space" marketing
Look. Guys. Listen.
1. Marketing books by labels shouldn't be the sole detail given, obviously
2. The reason people do it is because it actually works far better than marketing based on plot. People do, in fact, care about seeing repsentation because many identities still have very little representation out there. Advertising based on this Does Better. People ignore books they haven't heard of, indie books, all the time— authors need to advertise instead to those communities looking for representation. As an author who has tried various appeals back in the day. I can promise you this is why. Most authors I've spoken to about this agree reducing your book down to tropes and rep feels Ugh, but unfortunately, it works.
3. The discussion around it, and the writing of marginalised identities, so often turns hostile and exclusion based. "I hate when a character says they're asexual it should only be hinted at" do you know how long it could only ever BE hinted at?
4. Obviously the execution varies and should make sense. Of course it's off if a very historical novel suddenly uses modern slang. Of course it can be cringe. Of course it can suck. Okay.
5. But how much are you actually encountering stuff like this in your reading, versus seeing people complain and agreeing "that sounds like shit"? It's... a vastly overstated problem.
6. You guys need to read more indie books, where you can find all kinds of representation, subtle or explicit.
7. Every post on the topic is full of notes just talking about Hell Followed With Us. I agree that book was pretty silly with its post-apocalyptic cast fighting over identity politics but also if any group was going to fight over labels in the angel apocalypse it's pretty realistic for it to be 16 year olds living in a LGBTQ community center. Like tbh. Checks out
#random rambling but ive seen a couple posts going around and like i get it very much but#this was the kind of thing i got annoyed over a decade ago and its gotten big again. weird to say#but when i was 15 i recall being like “ugh i hare when people talk about what theyre writing based just on diversity”! and then#yeah it turns out people just ignore indie books and books they havent heard of! so to market it you need to appeal to people looking for it
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this is so upsetting. anyway who wants to kill don sweeney with me
#MONTY WAS NOT THE PROBLEM YOU STUPID WHORES#this is so fucking annoying#its not montys fault#ugh#bruins lb#boston bruins#jim montgomery
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can I just say, I followed you for your beautiful art style and use of colours and I stayed for your beautiful art style and use of colours AND cyanobacteria. Like, I know nothing about them because I'm a classic lit major but more often than not I find myself reading your posts about cyanobacteria with unexpected interest and fascination

HAH! I'm glad u enjoy them bc I feel absolutely intolerable when I talk abt them lol. But also. I am the cyanobacteria evangelist. I am the patron saint of cyanobacteria.
#mostly bc it just feels like no one cares and then even if they care a lil they care in the most boring way possible#like i dont care abt cyanos from the perspective of usefulness or as a toxic threat or relative to plants#i just think theyre cool independent of all that! theyre the only multicellular bacteria! they're complex and do interesting things!#billions of years ago they aquired the abilty to reach out toward a distant star and aquire its energy#and they became so good at it that everyone started stealing their power. and i kno im being pedantic when i get annoyed when ppl r like oh#they're like microscopic plants or plants do photosynthesis but also other stuff does too. bc its like. no. u got it all backwards cyanos#did photosynthesis 1st and were the best to ever fucking do it. they r the most important organisms to ever exist on this planet aside from#THE universal common ancestor and u r barely mentioning them and if u do ur sidelining them. and it feels like im the only one who cares. i#was talking to my lab mate abt this and she was like: i feel like if u post abt cyanobacteria on the internet u open urself up to being#harrassed by me specifically lol. so i should post abt them more and force myself to read more papers but idk it jsut feels like screaming#into the void. whatever. im just happy i kinda kno the phylogeny now#also the fact that cyanos r interesting comes as a surprise is prob bc again everyone talks abt them in the most boring ways possible#i just dont care about anything useful. i just want to do interesting science. basic research. lets see whats out there type stuff#as the government is attempting to strangle academia to death. ugh#unrelated
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i wish i could say i have been working on projects but the truth is i have just been playing stardew valley again every second of free time i have bc it seems to be the only thing that keeps my mind from destroying itself atm
#ganondoodles talks#personal#though its not without feeling guilty#i have spent over 700 hours playing that game#and never gotten everything or saw the end or sth bc i keep restarting#i love the early and mid game but late game is so annoying#dont get me wrong i do like some challenge every now and then#but the quests you get later are so ........ ugh#the whole QI stuff you gotta do to earn his favor or whatever are so stupid#anyway- i feel guilty bc so mayn hours i could have worked on stuff were spent on replaying the same stuff in the same game instead#:I#(also ... playing sv always makes me want to do more pixel art and try game dev again ....)
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