#UGH I MISS REX MY HUSBAND REX

[rexscanonwife]

Sigh I miss star wars sometimes 😔😔

[comm-caribou]

Bad Batch Spoilers:

I’ve been busy these past few prepping and starting a new job (side note: I hate the new job), and haven’t gotten a chance to watch the last four episodes of The Bad Batch til last night…

It’s so nice seeing the CF99 having fun

They left Cid… I don’t like this foreshadowing, she’s definitely going to betray them even after everything those boys did for her

UGH!!!!! I miss the clone troopers!!!!!

Look at all the precious clone darlings!!!!!

I adore them all and am so happy to have Howzer and Gregor back!

Echo! Echo! Echo! ECHO!!!!! 😍😍

What the heck are they doing to the clones?!?!

I’m living for Crosshair’s redemption arc

This female doctor is definitely trying to help him, but I don’t know if I trust it…

And you, Dr. Hemlock, can go on the “I-Hate-You” list right next to Pong Krell

Oh no… oh no… Tech!!!!!

Plan 99 😭😭

I frickin’ knew it! Eat rocks, Cid!!!!!

Tech’s googles 🥺🥺

What do you mean that’s all you could recover? Did you not find his body?!?!

Gosh darn it! Omega! When Hunter says run, you run! And now you’re getting captured!

Scorch…? SCORCH!!!!! I don’t care that you’re currently an imperial, you’re still my husband!!!!! (And I’m hoping you’ll come around) 🥰🥰

Oh god… are we going to get a Nala Se redemption arc? She’s one of the main contributors to Fives’ death!!!!!

Sisters?

How long do you think it’ll be till season three? It took over a year to get season 2!!!!

Predictions for season 3: we’re going to get Wolffe, we’re also going to see Cody again, Tech is somehow still alive or another Bad Batch member is going to die, Crosshair will rejoin the squad but there will be major tension, and we’ll get introduced to more clones just to watch them die as per usual

I don’t know how many season there will be of The Bad Batch, but I also predict—like many others—the series finale whenever it comes will include the reason why Rex quits fighting, which will be the deaths of the Bad Batch

[megafrost4]

Clone Wars Season 2

SEASON 2 EPISODE 1 Holocron Heist

A lesson learned is a lesson earned

DADDY PLO!: Warthog, protect the gunships! I will take out the fighters!

Warthog couldn’t shake these two, so daddy!Plo immediately turned around and saved him

They spray-painted their ships…aw…

Rex: Come on, grunts! We are leaving! OMG REX XD

Madame: Good morning, Master Fisto

Fisto: gives shit-eating grin 🤣

Cad Bane: [ominous music playing]

Palpatine: your price is of no concern [to Cad Bane to get a jedi holocron]

Yoda feels a disturbance in the force

WHERE IS ALL OF THAT MONEY COME FROM, PALPATINE??? HUH???

Bane: can it, Todo, you are who you say you are

Todo: I am a techno service droid!

Ahsoka: Madame Librarian, are you all right? Music Man, anyone? 🤣

Obi-Wan: if this Cad Bane is still on Coruscant, I’ll find him [yes, go off bae!]

Episode 2: Cargo of Doom

Overconfidence is the most dangerous form of carelessness

Rex: mmm…good call [to Anakin’s plan to use walkers to get onto the ship]

Anakin whistles to R2 like a dog…so cute!

REX GO BONK! : dow…switch to night vision

“Magnetic generators, you were trained for this!” oh, to have seen that! Lol seriously, can we see more of our clones????

Rex: General Skywalker, are you ok????

Ahsoka called Bane “sleemo” 🤣

Anakin: if by success, you mean I won, yes 🤣

Episode 3: Children of the Force

The first step to correcting a mistake is patience

Palpatine: among the Jedi, there are no innocents

Palpatine wants to know the Jedis status on Bane’s capture…cause he’s pissed his plans to get the children have been thwarted 🤣

3 Jedi going after Cad Bane’s mind…yikes 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

“Ah, Anakin, it’s good to see you…” looks to Ahsoka “excuse us, child…” 😒

Palpatine hologram hovering over child is CREEEEEEEEPY 😳😳

Obi-Wan: we’ll be fine Cody

Cody: yes sir, I’ll…keep the ship running DISAPPOINTED HUSBAND

Obi-Wan entering with it exploding: anytime, Cody! 😂

Anakin: where’s R2?

R2: opens door 😏

Episode 4: Senate Spy

A true heart should never be doubted

Anakin and Padme have time off together…awwww

Padme is an excellent cook 🤗

How dare she get upset with him when last season she just got on him cause she was working on this bill and ignored him…ugh 😒

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow when Clovis was mentioned that he had a history with Padme…HE KNOWS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anakin: are you still mad about last night? 🥺

Padme: mad? Why would I be mad? 😒

Anakin: good [ANAKIN YOU DUMBASS] 🤣🤣🤣

Anakin lost its argument…no surprise 😒

Why does the creepy lizard senator that hates Amidala have creepy sex droids??? 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

R2 offered Anakin a ration stick…aaaaaw…🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Episode 5: Landing at Point Rain

Believe in yourself or no one else will

Anakin and Ahsoka always compete to see whose squad kills how many droids 🤣

Obi-Wan: *sees Cody walk in with Rex* Good, Cody 😘

Cody wasn’t there for the first battle of Geonosis 🥺

Obi-Wan: oh, you didn’t miss much. I was chained up being attacked by monsters 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Cody: that sounds…entertaining 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Obi-Wan: it was…for the Geonosians 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

I love that they spray paint designs on their transports 🤗

Clone: good thing those bugs can’t aim

Ship: explodes

Spoke too soon, hon 😩

Clone: copy, that, Commander, have fun down there!

Cody: General Kenobi, don’t land! It’s hot down here!

Anakin: great, the one time I ask for Obi-Wan’s help…🤣

Boil and Waxer got their upgrade in their badass grey armor…nice! Checking for survivors

Why do we always get the FUN missions? 🤣

Cody: are you injured General?

Obi-Wan: nothing too serious

Woman moaning ominously in epic battle music ✊ one of my favorite movie tropes

Anakin: how many droids have you shot down so far?

Ahsoka: 25

Anakin: ah, you’re falling behind!🤣

Rex just walks into the shield of that droid from the back and shoots it like a boss GO OFF BAE 😘

Then Rex gets YEETED 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Rex: next time, just tell me to jump 😒

Anakin: now where the fun in that? 🤣

Rex: come on lads, lets go!

“Reinforcements! The Reinforcements have arrived!” a clone cheers

Obi-Wan sinks down in relief 😩

Woman moaning ominously in epic battle as Anakin runs with his troops and Ahsoka into battle

Again, I love that they spray painted grafitti on their carrier shuttles

Obi-Wan: I'll never understand how you turn these battles into a game 😒

Master Mundi: 65…what do I win? 👏👏👏👏👏

Episode 6: Weapons Factory

No gift is more precious than trust

Uh oh, here comes Luminara and Barris 😳

Anakin interrupting Ahsoka’s briefing…RUDE 😒

Bariss memorized all 200 junctions of the maze underground the factory? Damn, Luminara is rough 😳😳😳😳

Rex standing right up front next to Anakin, love it ❤️

Anakin: Rex, a little help here!

Rex: get up here trooper!

Trooper: uses a bazooka 👏

Episode 7: Legacy of Terror

Sometimes, accepting help is harder than offering it

Yay they finally won Geonosis!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ahsoka apologizes for leaving Rex 🥺

Rex: you two have done enough here, go get some rest 🥺 HE CARES SO MUCH

[ethereal growling] 😳

Cody: THAT is one ugly bug 😳

Zombie bugs…ew 😱

Ew…momma giving birth to baby bugs 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Anakin: I’ve got a bad feeling about this 😳

Obi-wan: because I make observations when you think with your lightsaber 😎

Yes, well, I took a lesson from Anakin and decided to not follow orders 😎

Anakin: hey

Obi-Wan: no, wait, I want to see how it works 😳🤣

Come now, the nose or the ear, which do you think it will enter 🤣

Luminara: I don’t!😱

Obi-Wan: what are you doing? I was going to study that! 🤣

Anakin: study the bottom of my boot! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Episode 8: Brain Invaders

Attachment is not compassion

Aw, clone snoring 😘

Clone shoots the air to wake them up lol 🤣🤣🤣

Scythe…ugh, standing up like THRILLER 😳😳😳

[moist slithering] eeeeeeeewwwwwww 😳😳😳😳😳😳

Their bodies contort, then possessed, it seems like they crack every bone in their body 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Ahsoka questioning keepers of the peace or warriors...JUST LIKE IN SEASON 7 BEFORE ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Rex! Hey bae, finally without a helmet 😘 I know the animation is still meh, but still

Anakin: Ahsoak hasn’t checked in yet

Obi-Wan: like you?

Rex: gives smug look 😏

Ahsoka: I have a bad feeling about this, Master Fisto

“If it’s one thing we clones know, it’s how to stop a Jedi” 😳 [ORDER 66 LOOMING ON THE HORIZON]

Ah! Scary jumpscare horror movie with Baris just showing up behind Ahsoka 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Anakin: Mind tricks? slaps Poggle then force chokes him 😳

Kit Fisto always has a big smile on his face I love it! 😂

Bariss: kill me, please 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Kit Fisto: gives shit-eating grin 😉

Episode 9: Grievous Intrigue

For everything you gain, you lose something else

Grievous jumps onto platform behind him like a spider monkey🤣

Grievous coughs [my favorite subtitle] 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jedi: your reputation precedes you

Wolffe comes up to whisper to Daddy!Plo [HE HAS HIS SCAR😭] whispering something

Hi! Rex! Seated next to Anakin

Kenobi and Grievous going at each other 😱

Anakin: lands out of hyperspace in the middle of battle😱

Obi-Wan: calls Grievous Dooku’s errand boy😂😂😂😂

Grievous: I’m no errand boy 🤬

pulls out 4 lightsabers and does helicopter thing😱👏✊

intense opera choir and music 🙌

Obi-Wan: surrender, General

Grievous: never! spider crawls away🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Cody: punches Grievous🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

intense opera choir music👏

Grievous: until we meet again, Kenobi! this reads like a corny good v evil plot...wait a minute...I STILL LOVE IT THOUGH❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤

Obi-Wan is pissed Grievous slipped away 🤬

Anakin: at lest we all live to fight another day😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Episode 10: The Deserter

It is the quest for honor that makes one honorable

Kenobi goes after Grievous to catch him before he escapes the planet, Taking Rex with him

Rex! Jesse Hardcase and Kix! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Cody: Rex is a smart man

Obi-Wan: indeed always thinking on his feet

Rex gets shot no!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Jesse: protect the captain! ✊

Kix: Jesse, you better get back here 🤬

Cody without a helmet!

My poor Rex got shot in the chest, through his pauldron in the middle😭

Jesse: that’ll be fine ma’am, thank-you SUCH MANNERS, JESSE

SHIRTLESS REX 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Rex’s back poor baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Kix: sir, as the team medic, when it comes to the health, I outrank everyone, including you 😎

Rex and the little girl have that weird stare 😂

Rex: Jesse, you’re in command

Jesse smiles 🤣

Rex, my poor bae, getting snogged by those calves lol🤣

Rex oh my goodness

Rex thinks a name is easier to distinguish them

Cut: I’ve seen how you’ve looked at my family 😳

Rex: what if I am choosing the life I want 🥺

Cut and Rex playing that gambling game

Cut ran after Geonosis when they were picking off his team one by one

Rex: you have wonderful children 🥺

Obi wan flips and does super hero landing sexy 🥵🥵🥵

Rex: I’ll take care of them…😎

Grievous: Jedi scum!🤣

Rex: I’m sorry, it’s my duty…but in my conidtion, I probably won’t remember any of it😉

Rex: my family is elsewhere

Episode 11: Lightsaber Lost

Easy isn’t always simple

Ahsoka: “Ok, Gramps, it would be nice to have company.” 🤣

Ahsoka: you little-🤣

Gramps: AHSOKA!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ahsoka is so agile ✊✊✊✊✊

I KNOW THE PLOT IS HAPPENING, BUT LISTEN TO THIS: “The Jedi are doing their best…the accusations that the Jedi started the war to gain more power is ridiculous. I assure you” Palpatine is urging the people to allow him to pass laws to help the Jedi, fighting like kriff to get them help

“Pass on what you have learned” Master Sinube ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Episode 12: The Mandalore Plot

If you ignore the past, you jeopardize the future

Obi-wan: Far be it from me to keep the duchess waiting 🤣

Beautiful throne room ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prime Minister…ew 😒

Kenobi: oh, I’m aware of the Duchess’ views 😏

“Well, Master Kenobi, my shining Jedi knight" 😘

Obi-wan: :After all these years, you are more beautiful as ever”😘

This man said something in Mando’an then dropped off the ledge😳

Obi-Wan: I didn’t kill him

Satine: I know, that’s why I’m still talking to you 🤣

Vizla…ugh hmmmm…

Obi-Wan: I am here on a diplomatic mission, under the protection of the Duchess Satine pulls out lightsaber and fights 🤣

Satine: you know the Jedi, they never do anything by halves 😉

Obi-Wan: this is not good about to be squished

Well, it certainly took you long enough 🤬

Satine, turn the machine off!🤬

Satine: I’m trying!🤬

Obi-Wan: we’ll have to stand and fight, or in your case, just stand🤣

Vizla: failure shoots Mandalorian😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

AH! OBI-WAN DID THE THING WITH HIS SABER😱

Those Mandaloirans respect the 1v1 ✊

Obi-Wan: Satiiiiiine? she jumps into his arms and they spin out❤️

Rex! Hi bae!

And there’s Cody!

Episode 13: Voyage of Temptation

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past

Anakin knows there’s a history between Obi-Wan and Satine oooooooo *sips tea*😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

These sex droids and slaves around Ryloth senator and Satine is weeeeeeird 😳😳😳😳

Obi-Wan and Satine bickering 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anakin: raises brow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Careful over there, it’s dark”

“You’re very funny, Mixer”

Satine and Obi-wan fight

Anakin: raises brow with martini in hand🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anakin: all right, men, what’s the problem? I’m missing dinner.

R2 whines

I know I know, I’m here now ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

That nasty droid walked Redeye like a dead puppet creeeeeeepy 😳

Go R2! You’re doing great sweety❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Satine: just because I’m a pacifist doesn’t mean I don’t defend myself🤣

Obi-Wan: now you sound like a Jedi

Cody and Rex dynamic duo ❤️

Droid attacks Rex

R2 saves him

Rex: thanks little guy ❤️

Anakin: where’s the mother?

Rex: hasn’t seen it gets attacked by mother kills mother like a boss 🤣

Anakin: you go find your girlfirned

Obi-wan: all right NO ANAKIN SHE’S NOT MY 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Obi-Wan and Satine confess to each other aaaaaawwwwww🥺

Who will brand themselves a cold blooded killer? imperial march plays ominously as Anakin kills him 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Satine: I’m still not sure about the beard….it hides too much of your handsome face😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Episode 14: Duchess of Mandalore

In war, truth is the first casualty

Obi-Wan: we’re friends, are we not?😒

Satine: yes…friends…and nothing more🤬

Satine: I’m fine I didn’t want to worry you🤬

Obi-Wan: on that count, you’ve failed spectacularly 😒

Lord Sidious meeting with Dooku😳😳😳

Satine to Obi-Wan on holomessage: I need your help [THE AMOUNT OF TIMES THIS HAPPENS]

Obi-Wan in a hood: sees Satine in a hood nice disguise 🤣

Episode 15: Senate Murders

Searching for the truth is easy, accepting the truth is hard

Ugh, another Padme senator episode 😒

I don’t care about the war waged at the senate

Padme wants military spending cut to stop making more clone troopers

Kamino minister says otherwise

Chancellor: murder, it’s inconceivable INCONCEIVABLE

Palpatine smiles evilly

DO YOU THINK NO ONE WILL SEE YOU????😂😂😂😂😂

He is so happy more clone troopers can continue to be made, huh Chancellor? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Episode 16: Cat and Mouse

A wise leader knows when to follow

AHHHHHHHHH THE ARACHNID Admiral Trench!!! 😳😳😳😳😳

Obi-Wan here to save Anakin’s ass, after he was told not to engage until he arrived 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Obi-Wan: two steps forward and you’d actually be kissing it

Anakin: that’s some trick 😉

Bail Organa holo: help us General Kenobi, you’re our only hope

Anakin hanging up on Obi-Wan lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“you learn pretty quickly when you’re under General Skywalker, you live on the offense” clone 🤣

Anakin: hello, ugly🤣

Obi-Wan: might I remind you this was not your mission?😒

Anakin: Reminded hangs up on Obi-Wan🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

General, I really hope you know what you’re doing

So do I, Admiral

Damn, Anakin taking out General Trech with the torpedos chasing after him to crash into the ship 👏👏👏👏👏👏

Obi-Wan: I hate to admit it, but good job, Anakin😒

Episode 17: Bounty Hunters

Courage makes heroes, but trust builds friendship

Ahsoka: how come every time you fly you crash 🤣

Anakin: it’s not my fault, it’s the ships! 🤣

Ahsoka looking between Obi-Wan and Anakin with that smirk

Obi-Wan: well, we crashed the ship your way 🤣

HONDO!!! : Kenobi, Skywalker, I can’t believe you came all this way to see me 😘

Hondo: you know, I like you Kenobi 😉

Embo is a badass bounty hunter with his samurai hat 😳👏

Hondo: “well, well, well, you know what I always say: speak softly and drive a big tank” ✊

Hondo laughs manically🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hondo: die, Jedi scum! 🤣

Hondo fights Anakin with that purple double bladed weapon 😳 WHAT ARE THOSE CALLED?

Hondo: THIS EFFORT IS NO LONGER…PROFITABLE! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Episode 18: The Zillo Beast

Choose what is right, not what is easy

REX! HELLO SWEETIE! : …that’s a lot of clankers [you’re not exaggerating, bae]

Rex: HOLD THE LINE! [love isn’t always on time!]😎

This one clone painted his helmet like a gator head…cool

This bomb destroyed everything, but Anakin’s robotic hand just hurt a little🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[lightsaber whooshing] loving these subtitles

Windu: Trapper, Ponds, Hawkeye, follow me! [ha! Fury]🤣

Windu: I have a bad feeling about this

Wilhelm Scream!

Anakin riding on R2 is so cute 😭

Anakin swan dives and rides on R2 again 🤣

R2 WHHHOOOOOOOOOOAOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh, so Palpatine is ok with it once they use its skin to study for an impenetrable force😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Anakin: hey, it worked!

Windu: are you sure?

Anakin: yes, I’m sure. Now you go first 🤣

Palpatine wants it brought to Coruscant to get studied…oh boy 😳

Episode 19: The Zillo Beast Strikes Back

The most dangerous beast is the beast within

Palpatine wants it to create new armor for clone troopers

Palpatine does evil smirk [ARE YOU INVISIBLE?]

Palpatine: such size…such power [UNLIMITED POWER]

Palpatine: Mast Kenobi has taught you well

“If that creature is as powerful as they say, what good are these blasters gonna be?”

“Eh, shut up Cosmos”🤣

[Cosmos would be excellent at CinemaSins] DING

Rex: Better hurry sir, you’re missing all the fun 🤣

Zillo Beast stares Palpatine down through the window

Palpatine: I’ve got a bad feeling about this😳

Windu: how can it be a plan if it’s improvised?🤔

Obi-Wan: just catch them when they fall🤣

Rex: a lot of the General’s plans involve…falling🤣

R2 zipping to the rescue!

Chancellor wanats her to clone the beast?????😳😳😳😳😳

Episode 20: Death Trap

Who my father was matters less than my memory of him

War does NOT come with a guarantee – Clone Cadet trainer

Anakin: hey when I show off, it IS instructive and inspiring 🤣

Windu: for you, maybe

They only get one chance

Sergeant: a near miss is still a miss, kid 🥺

Boba, quit being bad 🤬

Windu: no rest for the weary

“What are you doing? We’re brothers. Don’t shoot!” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

WILHELM SCREAM

Ah! Boba’s ship!

Episode 21: R2 Come Home

Adversity is a friendship’s truest test

Anakin: you’re not kidding, little buddy

Anakin: he’s got a lot of personality that’s all ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Windu: you encourage it too much 😒

[vehement beeping] oh R2

R2 screams🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jango’s helmet set as a bomb…Mace figured it out 😳

R2 to the rescue!

[R2 chuckles]

[R2-D2 screams]

Oh hey Ahsoka havent’ seen you in a while and there’s Dad!Plo!❤️❤️

Anakin: you mean, the clone template?

“Comet, let’s go!”

Plo: Hurry, Commander Wolffe! 😱😱😱😱😱😱

Episode 22: Lethal Trackdown

Revenge is a confession of pain

Hey Plo! Hey Ahsoka ❤️❤️

Ponds! Boba couldn’t do it…so she did😳

Plo offers to take care of the hostage situation with Ahsoka

Plo: why head to the one place we know he is not? 🤔

Ahsoka of course little one we can’t be go to the last place they were

Plo is going to the Underworld????? 😳

HONDO! A passionate kiss with Aura Sing😳😳😳😳

Hondo: not MINE, I take it? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hondo: hey hey someone scrape him off the floor!

Plo: you’ve adopted many of your master’s ways, including your lack of being…subtle 🤣

Plo:…not very subtle🤣

Plo: well done, little ‘Soka😭❤️

Hondo meeting Plo lol 🤣

Damn, Plo just kicked the table up like a badass 😳😳😳😳

Hondo:Tell the Jedi what they want to know, Boba… it is the honorable thing to do…it is what your father would’ve wanted.❤️

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

Lights, Camera, Lucha!

After being briefed by Romani (somehow...?) About the teeny tiny Caribbean Hollywood singularity, Rex and his main servant Quetzalcoatl along with Mash Kyrielight reported to the library to talk with Murasaki

(Wtf is with the timeline anyways?)

Quetz: Hola Murasaki! Master Rex and his main servant, Quetzalcoatl along with miss Mash Kyrielight are here!

Murasaki: oh! Good to see you! I'm just getting the script ready... won't be much longer.

Rex: cool...

Murasaki: actually, Mash I have a role that you'd be perfect for!

Mash: oh! I'm more then ready to play!

Rex: actually... can you let us know what the movie is?

Murasaki: hmm? Oh of course Lord Rex.

After explaining the general synopsis of the film.

Rex: hmmm... nope!

Murasaki: no?! What do you mean no?

Rex: I don't think that's a good enough film. Besides, what's mi corazon gonna do the whole time? She should included... in fact she should be the Star!

Murasaki: I mean... I can rewrite it a bit with her in mind...

Rex: actually! I'll help rewrite it completely!

Murasaki: is that necessary? We're kind of tight on time!

Rex: I actually have the perfect film in mind already!

Murasaki: really?!

Rex: yup! I kind of think of these things on my own often.

After some rewrites, they came with a completely different script!

Murasaki: do modern people enjoy this kind of film?

Rex: of course! It's super popular! And can have amazing results when done right!

Quetzalcoatl took a look at the script

Quetz: mi amor! This script actually seems amazing! I'm excited to play this starring role!

Rex: hell yeah!

Murasaki: this does mean we must recast completely. I am not certain the previous actors will be able to fill the new roles.

Rex: it'll be fine! Given the circumstances the proper servants will agree to it.

Murasaki: if you say so...

Mash: hey! Isn't that Moriarty over there?

Rex: huh, he's talking with Nursery Rhyme.

Quetz: mmhmm, anyways! Ignoring that!

Mash: should we really be ignoring him like that?

Murasaki: he seems like he may be a bit distressed actually.

Quetz, sarcastically: oh noooooo.... how unfortunate....

Mash: is everything OK Lady Quetzalcoatl?

Quetz: I'm sorry but I'm not over him trying to KILL MY HUSBAND WITH A METEOR!

Rex: also, Lady would technically be disrespectful since she's a literal goddess.

Murasaki, frantic: oh no! I didn't mean to offend!

Mash: he looks really troubled now

Rex: maybe we should go over there.

Quetz: uuuuugh...fine. but I'm not going, and I won't let mi amor go either!

She says this as she grabs onto Rex.

Rex, not even fighting it: guess you guys gotta handle it.

After Mash and Murasaki go over there, eventually Nursery Rhyme is seen leaving, then Mash comes over to Rex and Quetz.

Mash: Murasaki offered to let Mr. Moriarty join, but we need your ok.

Quetz: No!

Mash: that's a bit harsh

James, from over yonder: I'M SORRY OK!

Quetz: SORRY DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO MAKE UP FOR IT!

Mash: maybe you can decide the roll at least?

Quetz: how about a random minion I beat up?!

James: *offended gasp!*

Quetz: gasp all you want!

Rex: he could be a notable minion? With a name? I could fit that in.

Quetz: suuuuure....! So long as I can harm him!

James: will letting you hurt me finally absolve me of that particular sin!?

Quetz: Nah! But I'll feel a lil better!

James: ugh...

Rex: ya really can't blame her... that was kinda traumatizing.

So the new script was written and Rex and Quetz were to go on and film this amazing and so much better film!

A/N: so yeah, after @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong mentioned the idea, Quetz will now be the star of the film. It's a completely new film. I do have a vague idea, but kinda wanna see how the event proper goes down first before I continue on with that.

Tags

@hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @kazmetic @grievouslyxorvia

[maulusque]

Sorry 2 do this 2 u but Fox and Palpatine uhhh adopt a young clone? Like Tup maybe I guess

PLEASE do not ever apologize for inflicting Fox/Palpatine on me. I will never ever be over that ship.

Fox and Palpatine adopt Tup, and *rolls dice* there’s a fierce competition of some sort going on in the background.

(from this list)

This takes place in the au-of-an-au where Fox cons Palpatine into marrying him, with the intent to divorce him and take all his stuff, and Palpatine cons Fox into marrying him so he can make sure Fox won’t expose all his plans, but they accidentally fall in love for reals.

“Please, dear, I said I was sorry.”

“And I heard you the first fifty times. And I’ve told you, you need to make it up to me. And all of my brothers.”

“My darling Fox, please consider that I have already disabled the chips and abandoned my plan for them.”

“It’s been considered.” Fox folds his arms and pushes the datapad across the table towards Sheev.

“And please consider-” the Chancellor is interrupted by a yowl of rage from the corner as one of Rex’s boys- Sheev carefully doesn’t check which one- tackles the other. “-that I fast-tracked the citizenship bill, without you asking. Do you have any idea how many people I had to bribe to get that to pass? Honestly, the greed and corruption of these senators is astounding.”

“I am perfectly aware of how many people you had to bribe, Sheevy-bear, and I am also perfectly aware that it was well within your annual bribery budget.” Fox raises his eyebrows above his diamond-studded sunglasses (which he absolutely does not need indoors), then lifts his feet up onto the table as Tup and the other Torrie, Jesse, Fox thinks, go rolling past, snarling. 

“Please, darling,” Sheev said, wearing his best pleading face, “you know I cannot bear to have you angry with me-”

“So sign the damn papers, baby.” Fox says. He has become an expert at resisting Sheev Palpatine’s masterful manipulations. Fox knows what he wants, and he’s going to get it.

“But dearest-”

“get FUCKED, Jesse!” Tup hollers from beneath the table, trying to struggle out of Jesse’s headlock.

“It’s mine, Tup’ika, get wrecked-”

Sheev Palpatine turns pleading eyes on Fox. Fox just shoves the datapad closer with his toe. Sheev whimpers.

“Does it have to be that one?” He asks, now in his actually-pleading-for-reals voice. “Can’t we adopt a nice, quiet one, like Bly?” There’s a thump, and the table rattles, and Tup scurries out from underneath, clutching something in his hand.

“First of all, Bly’s older than me, so gross, no. And second of all, that kid-” Fox gestures to Tup as he goes flying past, courtesy of Jesse, “-has been put through a lot, because of your stupid karking chip, doll.” Fox says. “So if anyone deserves to have the richest-” he gestures to Sheev, “-and handsomest-” he indicates himself- “adoptive fathers in the galaxy, to make sure he gets anything he wants for the rest of his life, it’s him.” He leans back in his chair, indicating that the discussion is over. Sheev sighs. Behind him, Tup howls in victory, shoving the single solitary piece of candy he’d wrestled from Jesse into his mouth. 

“Yes, dear.” The Chancellor picks up his stylus, and signs his name with a flourish. Jesse screams in rage.

Fox leans over, plucks the datapad from Sheev, and gives his husband a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He turns. “Hey, Tup!” he hollers. “We’re your dads now. Want an allowance the size of Coruscant’s weather budget?”

(later)

“Your behavior is completely unacceptable, young man.” Sheev says, trying to perfect his dad voice.

“Ugh, whatever.” Tup rolls his eyes.

“It is four o’clock in the morning, I should not be having to deal with your misbehavior at this hour.” Sheev Palpatine does not cut a very imposing figure in his bathrobe and slippers. Tup rolls his eyes again. Sheev wishes, really, really, hard, that Sith lightning was considered an acceptable parenting technique.

“Seriously, kid.” Fox yawns, coming into the room. He has his silk eyemask pushed up onto his forehead, and is dressed in his Coruscant Guard-red goldweave plush bathrobe (his second-best one). “You can’t keep buying entire housing blocks and blowing them up for fun.” He kisses Sheev good morning, and hands him a cup of coffee in his “Galaxy’s Worst Dad” mug (a gift courtesy of Maul). “I’m running out of requisition forms for more ordnance.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Tup says, fully enjoying catching up on all the teenage rebellion he missed out on in the army. “You’re not my real dad!” 

“Okay,” Fox says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “First of all, we are both legally your dads, and second of all, I am your commanding officer and you will listen to me unless you want to be doing pushups until you’re fifty!” 

“Sir, go fuck yourself, sir!” Tup throws him a mock salute and stalks out of the room. Fox sighs and lets his forehead rest on Sheev’s shoulder.

“You’re too soft on him, love.” He mutters into his husband’s bathrobe.

“He just needs some time to get it out of his system.” Sheev says. “I was quite the handful at his age, too.”

“At his age,” Fox says, “you were murdering your entire family because some creepy old man told you to.”

“Yes, well.” Sheev says, waving his hand dismissively. “He’ll grow out of it. Besides,” he added. “Did you see the last one he did? The destruction was stunning.” Fox groans. 

“Not this again.” he muttered.

“Of course, his style is a bit blunt and heavy-handed, but he’s sure to pick up some subtlety from one of us eventually. If he’d made it a little less obvious who the perpetrator was, I’d have no criticisms at all!” He smiled. “I am so very proud of him.” Fox groans again, louder.

“Oh, stop your whining, dear.” Sheev says. “This was your idea, after all.”

[sanerontheinside]

Fic prompts, please! Either cliche for Rex/Obi "Got each other's bag"; or Sarcasm 28 “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” (for whoever it amuses!)

AAAHHHHH so sometimes I do complete prompts in my promptedrabbles file, yay. THE LEVERAGE/SW CROSS NOBODY ASKED FOR lol

Based on the Mile High Job

so we’ll call it

Pie in the Sky Job (oh, no, that’s probably bad? ugh idk)

Qui-Gon eyed the board with a grimace. “Right, so the assets are on the plane headed for the Cayman Islands. Ani?”

“Yeah! Yeah. I can get you on that plane. So that’s… four tickets, coming right up.”

“Make it three,” Obi-Wan put in quickly. “I have an Air Marshal badge.”

Ahsoka frowned at him. “Wait, what if there’s a Marshal on the flight already?”

“There’s only one marshal for every hundred flights.”

Anakin’s choked-off curse was fairly audible over comms. “O-okay, you know what? I felt a lot safer not knowing that.”

“Same here,” Ahsoka muttered.

“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s true.” Obi-Wan pointed out, amused.

“Make it two tickets,” Qui-Gon said, already thinking ahead. “One authority figure is good, two is better. Ahsoka, you’re about to get a day job.”

“Huh?” Ahsoka’s head came up. “Wait, doing what?”

Lifting a flight attendant’s suitcase required a minor bit of improvisation, with Obi-Wan as a disgruntled passenger providing an excellent distraction.

“Sometimes I feel bad about playing with people like that,” Tahl murmured, watching from a polite distance as Ahsoka switched the flight attendant’s suitcase with another, similar one. Tahl and Qui-Gon had also surreptitiously lifted a bag each from unclaimed luggage.

“She’ll get home and find that there’s nothing wrong with her cat, it was all a misunderstanding,” Qui-Gon shrugged. “And that she somehow picked up the wrong suitcase,” he added after a moment’s thought.

“Well. Small casualties,” Tahl shrugged.

“Tahl, did you, er—”

“Yes, Qui?”

Qui-Gon cleared his throat. “You checked the suitcases, I noticed. Did you—”

“Naturally.”

“Right. Let’s just—go.”

“So how did you know there’d be an extra uniform in her bag?” Ahsoka asked, catching up to them—already in uniform, in fact.

“Flight attendants are required to carry an extra uniform, in case something happens to the one they’re wearing.” Obi-Wan supplied.

“Or in case of unscheduled flights,” Tahl added, with a smirk.

Ahsoka eyed both of them uncertainly. “Seriously, how do you guys just know this?”

Tahl’s smirk grew positively feline, “Slept with a flight attendant.”

“Worked flight secur—what?” Obi-Wan didn’t quite reel, but it was a near thing.

Qui-Gon just laughed at them and waved them along. “Come on, later. Wouldn’t want to miss the flight Anakin is so kindly getting us last-minute tickets for. To the Cayman Islands. Do I even want to know?”

“Uh—no, not particularly, no,” Anakin said. “Those poor souls won’t suffer for it, anyway. I’m sure the company will reimburse them, or something.”

By the time Obi-Wan was on the other side of the security check, though, Anakin had already cleared everything up with their flight plan. Tahl and Qui-Gon, for some reason, were held up at the checkpoint.

“What’s going on there?” Anakin asked, trying not to sound anxious.

It was Obi-Wan who answered—not in any way reassuring. “Oh god, that’s embarrassing.”

Anakin sat up quickly. “Whaaaat’s happening?”

Obi-Wan growled into the mic. “Qui-Gon, couldn’t you have checked the bags you lifted? Just in case?”

“Oh—”

There was an awkward cough just before Tahl cut in with an excited “It’s our third anniversary!” to the guard.

Anakin was pretty sure he heard Obi-Wan choke back a laugh. “Didn’t want to know that either,” Anakin muttered darkly. Ahsoka had apparently decided that selective deafness was the better part of valour.

Qui-Gon seemed to be scowling. “Tahl, I thought you said you’d handed it off?”

“Well, now, I did think flying with two of those might be a bit excessive.”

“Good god, there were two.”

“Was that a facepalm? Obi-Wan, tell me he’s facepalming?”

Obi-Wan’s voice came back over comms, amused. “Yes, Ani, he’s facepalming, and not at you for once. Congratulations. Not-Anakin-Facepalm Tuesdays, new holiday. What terminal should we be at?”

It was one of the weirdest flights Rex had ever been on, and he’d even managed to sleep through most of it. One of the flight attendants had been… aggressively blunt about flight safety, and in general dispatched her job efficiently, but with the disaffected air of someone who was focused on something bigger than passing (throwing) snacks. There were some complaints. The complaints were also quiet.

Across the aisle, Rex spotted a man who’d come aboard without a carry-on, which was a little odd until the flight attendant moved to ask him something and he flashed her a badge. Air Marshal, Rex thought. Feel safer already.

Of course, that had to be the moment his sleep-deprived brain chose to inform him that, safe or no, said Air Marshal was really not bad on the eyes. He reflexively smothered that thought and decided that he may as well try to sleep through the flight. Honestly, hitting on an Air Marshal mid-flight? That sounded like a bad idea all around.

Rex was all the more certain of it when he missed the Out of Order sign on the door—he’d been a bit preoccupied, watching a fiery redhead talking urgently with a couple of the passengers up front—and walked in on a body in the lavatory. Knocked out, cold. Rex took one look at the knife in the sink, definitely ceramic, and at how neatly the man had been incapacitated, and decided he didn’t want to get into… whatever this was.

At the same time his opinion of the Air Marshal ticked up yet another notch.

Though, if ‘Air Marshal’ was all this man was, Rex would have to eat his own boots, and he didn’t relish the idea. The pair of passengers he’d been speaking with were a bit odd; one was a very tall gentleman, with long hair and a neat beard, and the other was an even taller lady, dark-skinned and green-eyed. Rex couldn’t quite bet on them being a couple, for all their marital-sounding disputes, but they were definitely drift-compatible. At least he caught their names in the midst of those small tiffs: Qui-Gon, he thought, and Tahl—Baker? Such a normal surname for such odd given names.

And if Rex hadn’t seen all three of them together earlier, he might actually have sounded the alarm when he witnessed their clever double act, surreptitiously checking the bags of the passengers behind them. Both Tahl’s lift and Qui-Gon’s handoff of the unsuspecting passenger’s bag were pitch perfect, but Rex also had the chance to note that they hadn’t taken anything.

If Rex had been hoping for a moment’s sleep on this flight, though, he’d been horribly mistaken. With less than an hour left to go, the trip went from intriguing to harrowing as the plane dipped into a rapid descent. He was surprised—thankfully momentarily distracted—when Tahl appeared next to him, a terrified young woman in tow.

“Mind if we join you?”

He shook his head, numb.

“Oh, Good. This is Marissa,” she said, sounding almost chipper as she stepped into the aisle, “and my name’s Tahl.”

“Pleasure,” Rex said tightly.

Tahl threw a sharp glance his way. “Done this before?”

He managed a quick nod.

“Don’t worry, my husband’s an engineer with the company, he’s up front, he can fix this.”

Engineer, Rex’s entire ass, but Tahl sounded absolutely certain that this was something that could be fixed, so Rex tried to smile. “Thanks.”

Who the hell knew, anyway. Qui-Gon could certainly pass for an engineer. Tahl still had that knowing look, though, and in a moment she took his hand and squeezed.

He didn’t actually remember the next few minutes. When he got his brain back in his skull, he realised that people had been cheering and clapping, and that they’d landed—though, where, he had no idea, hadn’t they been in the middle of the ocean? In any case, Tahl and Marissa both looked relieved. And the brusque flight attendant popped up out of nowhere and handed Marissa a ginger ale.

“Thank you, Ahsoka,” Tahl murmured, sounding infinitely patient. Rex decided that was pretty funny, for some reason. He doubled over laughing, probably on the verge of hysteria.

In a little while, they started letting passengers out of the plane. Rex didn’t get up, though. He decided to wait, get his breathing back under control. Tahl and Marissa didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get anywhere, either. The passengers in First Class were just beginning to disembark when Qui-Gon reappeared, the redhead on his heels.

Qui-Gon seemed particularly concerned. “Everyone all right?”

Tahl nodded, and Ahsoka replied with an oddly enthusiastic “Yep!”

“Obi-Wan, we need to do something about Erlick.”

Obi-Wan—the Air Marshal, apparently—just shrugged. “When I knock people out they tend to stay knocked out.”

“Fair enough. Still, probably want to hand him over to the authorities.”

“You know, if they’re doing this as carefully as I think they are?” Obi-Wan looked thoughtful. “There should be someone waiting on the ground to make sure he got the job done. Or, more accurately, that he went down with the plane.”

Qui-Gon grimaced. “And he didn’t.”

“Well!” Tahl rose and straightened out her blouse. “In that case, Genegrow’s taken care of all the loose ends for us.”

Qui-Gon turned to help Obi-Wan take the luggage out of the compartments, passing suitcases to the passengers around them. Tahl walked a pale and shaking Marissa back to her aisle, and Rex stood up and reached for his suitcase—which Obi-Wan seemed about to take with him. “I’m sorry, I believe that’s my bag.”

Obi-Wan glanced up at him and blinked, then cracked the brightest grin Rex had ever seen. “Oh. I believe you’re right, it is—I’m sorry.”

Rex grinned back like an idiot. “Not at all. Can I get your name?” He saw Qui-Gon give Obi-Wan a sideways glance and shake his head, but decided not to pay it any mind, especially since Obi-Wan didn’t look like he was about to refuse.

“I’m—”

He was interrupted by a loud crash and flight attendant’s scream. Obi-Wan glanced over his shoulder, and Rex noticed ‘Erlick’ had barrelled right through the flimsy door.

“Excuse me,” Obi-Wan apologised, his grin irrepressible. “I have to go make a scene.”

He did make quite a scene, and handed Erlick over to the proper authorities outside. Rex shook his head and figured it was bad luck.

Except, of course, when he stuck his hands in his pockets he discovered a square of paper with a number scrawled on it, sighed Obi-Wan.