#UGH I HATE THIS. i DO NOT want bedbugs!!!!!!!

[clownpassing]

Sooo one of my coworkers has a developing bedbug problem, and is still hugging people goodbye, and taking them places in his car, which is where he lives, which is where the bugs are. And I had to find out through my friend. Because he isn't fucking telling anyone.

[flamehairedwritings]

The Fiancé: Chapter Five

Characters: Steve Rogers x Female Plus-Size Reader

Rating: The whole series will be E, 18+ ONLY

Summary: A lie about your best friend at a Christmas party spirals into world news, but a previously unknown threat leaves you having to now live the lie of Steve Rogers being your fiancé.

Originally based on the prompt ‘Character A’s ex will be at the Christmas Party A is attending. Character B poses as A’s fiancé,’ by @alloftheprompts.

A/N: The whole series will include swearing, alcohol, threat, violence, apartment sharing, protected sex, and more tags to be added!

The Fiancé Masterlist

All Works Masterlist

Read on AO3

Please don’t copy or steal my work, and please don’t post it on any other sites; credit does not count.

Reality Bites

TUESDAY

Gentle sunlight filters in through a small gap in the curtains, warming your face. Stretching your legs out as you hum softly, you keep your eyes closed for a few minutes longer, clinging to the last remnants of sleep as your body revels in the support and softness of the bed and pillows.

Finally, though, as the alarm on your phone sings a trilling tune, you push yourself up and roll over to turn it off. Falling onto your back, you can’t resist lying there for another minute or so, gazing up at the ceiling and stretching.

Pushing the covers off, you slide out of bed and slip your feet into the slippers you had found in the wardrobe, and cross the room to where you’d hung the robe on the back of your door. Pulling it on, you yawn quietly, tying the cord. Slightly dopey from your deep sleep, that is a miracle bed, you open your door and move to the stairs, descending as you wipe at your eyes and mouth.

Mmh, right, drink, food, shower and then—

“Good morning, sunshine!”

Your eyes dart up as your foot touches the ground floor, your hand tightening on the banister. You stare at Nat and Sam, sat on the stools at the island, sipping drinks and looking bright-eyed, possibly having been up for hours, and Steve, standing behind the island. They’re all looking and smiling at you in varying degrees; Sam’s grinning, Nat’s got a smile that verges on a smirk, and Steve’s smile is warm.

... and then reality.

Raising your eyebrows as you clear your throat and lick your slightly dry lips, you continue to approach, moving into the kitchen area.

“Well, good morning,” you say to Sam’s greeting, starting to make yourself a hot drink as Steve moves out of your way.

You glance up at him and return his smile, though, God damn it, you hate how you still feel awkward. Last night you’d eaten together and watched the movie you’d chosen, but you’d both just sat in silence, only speaking to make a comment about something in the movie or to ask if the other wanted a refill on their drink. Saying goodnight to each other had been... okay. Had been in the same vein as when you might wish an acquaintance that you desperately wanted to like you goodnight, filled with lots of exclamations and smiles, at least on your end; ‘goodnight! Hope you sleep okay! Don’t let the bedbugs bite!’.

God, I hope I can settle in today.

“Did you sleep okay?” Nat asks, lowering a mug of what is probably the darkest coffee in the universe onto the island.

“Yeah, actually.” You wrap your hands around your drink, letting it warm you. “Dropped off straight away and slept right through.”

That had surprised you as much as it probably secretly did them. You’d anticipated a night of tossing and turning and fixating and anxieties, but your mind was probably so ready to be unconscious it had let you easily slip into sleep and stay that way.

“That’s good,” Steve says to your right, his arms folded across his chest.

“So the bed’s good and comfortable?”

You glance at Sam as you hum an affirmative, lifting your mug to your lips.

You can’t help but feel slightly like a flighty, caged animal and the most sensitive being in the world all rolled into one with the way they’re all looking at you and asking how you are, almost like they’re tiptoeing around you. It just reminds you of the huge favour you’re doing them, how dangerous it is, and also how it came about because of you.

No, stop that.

You’d told yourself last night, as you’d got into bed, that yes, you and Steve are in this situation because of you, but now you have a chance to make amends for it and help him, so there will be no more guilt or self-pity, just helping. With that in mind, you lower your mug after taking a long sip and swallowing, and widen your smile a little, looking between them all.

“So, what joys do today bring?”

“Well...” Nat reaches down into a bag you had spotted at her feet and pulls something out, straightening and placing it, a manila folder, onto the island. “... we have your schedule for the week here.”

Right... the hard part isn’t over. It hasn’t even begun.

"Okay,” you answer, grazing your teeth over your lower lip. “So what’s on the agenda?”

“Like I said yesterday, venue, cake tasting and dress shopping. We’ve got certain places we’d like you two to go to so we can start to see who’s tracking Steve.” Nat’s only looking at you, so they’ve probably spoken about it with Steve before you got up. Part of you wishes you’d just be told these things together, then you wouldn’t have to take and process everything on your own.

“Okay.”

She pushes the folder towards you before resting her arms on the island. “We now have five days to identify and arrest them, so it’s gonna feel like a lot but, as we’ve said, very necessary and useful. Today you’re—”

“Woah, hang on.” You’d opened the folder as she’d spoken, your gaze drifting down the very packed schedule, and you’ve just reached ‘THURSDAY’. You look up at her, feeling your stomach flip. “I’m not doing an interview.”

Nat takes a small, quiet breath. “No, we thought you wouldn’t want to, but...”

Ah. This is why they were being so nice and attentive.

“But?”

She holds your gaze. “But you will both need to do one. We need all the social pages to be buzzing and the chatrooms going, and people will wait outside to get a glimpse of you both. It’s the best place for someone to try and blend in, as they’ll have prior knowledge of where you two are. By Thursday we should have a list of suspects, so that will be our final, large opportunity to scope people out and potentially seize them.”

You look at Steve, who’s looking at you, quiet, expressionless, and you know he already knows all this so he’s probably agreed to it, so how can you challenge it? He doesn’t say you don’t have to like he did yesterday, probably because you know as well as he does that you do, you both have to.

In for a penny, in for a pound...

This is to help him, this is to help him, this is to help him...

“Okay,” you reply after a moment, your gaze dropping back down to the schedule.

Nat continues, glancing at Steve while you’re not looking. “All right, it’s with America Today at 1PM, but you’ll both need to be there for 12 for hair and make-up. We can guess what they’ll ask, probably about how you two met, how you’re feeling, probably light things like that.”

“Will it be live?” Her eyes are back on yours when you look up.

“Yeah.”

Fucking hell.

“Okay.” Your heart is pounding but you know you need to start giving more than five word answers, because you do want to do this, you’re so fucking determined for this to be successful, and you can’t bear any of them feeling guilty... but from Sam’s shifting, Steve’s silence and Nat’s tightly clasped hands, you guess they already are.

Inhaling a breath, you smile. Closing the folder, you wrap your hands around your mug again and lean back against a counter. “Well, we’ll think about that when we get to it.”

If Nat’s concerned, delighted, or surprised by your shift in demeanour, she doesn’t let on, and even all the tips she’s given you about reading body language can’t help you suss out her mood now. “Good. There’s plenty of time to prepare and I can ask the producers for a general idea of what they’re gonna ask. As for today, though...” She smiles, and it’s probably just as secretly forced as yours is. “... you’re gonna go venue viewing and cake shopping.”

"Ugh, marvellous. No, I actually am excited for that,” you say as Sam raises his eyebrows at your groan.

“Good, ‘cause there’s gonna be a couple of places, but first there'll be the venue visit that we’ve managed to leak to the press.”

“Okay. Oh, uhm,” you start to add as Nat goes to slide off the stool, “I’d like to add drinks with my friends for Wednesday evening...” You glance down at the schedule, double checking that it’s clear. For some reason, all your evenings are, except Saturday.

How kind of them.

“With who?” Nat asks, removing her phone from her pocket and unlocking it.

“Dolly Murphy and Bridget Sanderson. I work with them.”

“Yeah, we know who they are,” she says as she types something down on her phone.

Of course you do.

“Oh, I like them, uh, as in both of them, I mean,” Sam quickly continues as you arch an eyebrow, a smirk starting to form on your lips.

From what Bridge’ had told you last night, they both like each other very much.

“Good, so... do I have permission?”

“Yeah, that should be fine,” Nat answers as her phone disappears back into her pocket. “We’ll work out logistics, but a night out—”

“Could help me relax before the interview?”

Her lips twitch as she folds her arms. “Could give us another chance to watch the people who track you separately, along with you going dress shopping without Steve. People who are fascinated by your relationship will want to see and follow you, people fascinated with Steve, in all kinds of ways, will want to follow him. With that being said, we need you to post on social media, too. Photos on your Instagram grid, stories, things like that so people can figure out where you are.”

“Right, okay.”

Off private we come, brilliant.

She looks at you, her features softening a touch, "Do you have any more questions or anything else you’d like to add to it?”

You shake your head before you can even being to entertain the idea of anything else. “Nope. Seems all good to me.”

You can’t be the only one who wants to laugh at that.

Nat nods before any of you can and rises off of the stool, reaching down to grab her bag and lift it onto the island. “There’s just one last thing.” Reaching into the bag, she pulls a small handgun out—

A handgun.

And holds it out to you.

You hear Steve hiss out a quiet breath as she looks at you and you stare at her.

“What? A gun? Are you kidding me?”

She places it between you on the island. “It’s just for peace of mind, okay, and for your safety. Just in case.” Her eyebrows raise slightly. “Do you remember what I taught you?”

Nat had invited you to the gun range at SHIELD once, probably about a year ago, after a spectacularly shitty day for both of you, to blow off some steam. It had worked, and she’d shown you how to properly operate some of the many handguns they had. It had been a fun day, the most time you’d ever spent with Nat actually, and due to her very thorough demonstrations, you still remember what to do.

“Yeah, I do.”

Steve looks at you, taking the small gun and holding it in your hands, stood in your pyjamas, slippers and robe. He looks away, and meets Sam’s gaze. The other man just raises his eyebrows, a silent reminder he can’t reprimand or challenge Nat on this.

Because they’d already discussed it in harsh, hushed tones barely twenty minutes ago.

“Are you out of your fuckin’ mind, Nat?”

“My tests say ‘no’,” she’d answered drily, her arm resting on the back of her stool. 

He’d braced his hands on the island, arching an eyebrow. “She won’t need a gun, she shouldn’t need a gun, not with our protection.”

“I’m not taking any chances, Steve. We don’t know what these guys could do, I have to cover every kind of situation imaginable, you know that, as awful as it might be, I have to think of these scenarios and be ten steps ahead. This is a precaution.”

He’d pressed his lips together, knowing she was right, knowing he’d most likely make the same decision at the end of the day. He just hated the idea that you might need to use it.

“Steve...” Nat had licked her lips, exhaling a breath, her shoulders dropping just slightly. “You have to be okay with all of this. Even with the interview and the gun. It’ll make it easier for both of you. I’m not making these decisions lightly. Fury put me in charge of this so I’m gonna make damn sure my friends are kept safe, okay?”

He hadn’t been able to argue with that, either. He’d have gone to the ends of the earth for you all if roles were reversed, and he trusted Nat. So, he’d kept quiet, watched you, been the calming presence he so often needed to be, but he hadn’t been able to stop his reaction at seeing the gun, as quiet as it was.

He’ll make damn sure you don’t need to use it.

You place the gun in your robe pocket as you blow out a breath. “Wow, well, guess I’m one of you guys now, huh?”

Nat snorts as you catch Sam’s eye and smile, and she heads to the stairs, gesturing for you to follow. “Yeah, I’ll email you when there’s a recruitment drive. Come on, time to get ready, Miss America.”

You’d thought Nat was joining you to choose an outfit for you for some reason, but instead she just sits on the bed, letting you choose whatever you want and taking your phone, uploading a whole new, SHIELD approved security system to it that will protect it from being hacked, and block numbers you haven’t added to your contacts. She also gives you a more in-depth run down of the day as you change in the wardrobe.

The viewing is going to be at hotel, and she had chosen the place because A) ‘it is very fucking fancy’, and B) to see if anyone would inquire about rooms for the random date you’ll tell the person showing you around, the date of which will somehow be leaked to the press.

Then, you’ll have lunch at a cafe, somewhere you can see people and they can see you, and then it’ll be on to the cake tasting at two of the best places in D.C.

“... so don’t fill up at lunch,” she finishes as you emerge from the wardrobe.

Closing the doors, she sits up, having lain back on the bed for probably the only rest she’ll get, as you head into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

“We should have you back for about 5, then, all right?”

You hum through a mouthful of toothpaste before spitting it out. “Okay.”

She falls silent as you finish up in the bathroom and head back into the bedroom a few minutes later. Adjusting the engagement ring on your finger, you push the bathroom door shut with your foot as she looks up at you from her phone with a smile.

“You look nice.”

“Thanks.” You strike a slight pose before finding your shoes. “Can I ask, why don’t Steve and I have anything scheduled for the evenings? I thought there’d at least be a fancy dinner or something where we would have to show ourselves off.”

She exhales a laugh as you sit beside her to tug your shoes on. “We toyed with the idea, but we know how much you and Steve like having your evenings to relax.”

Your eyebrows raise as you look at her. “Wow, you mean we’re actually getting something we want?”

She snorts. “You’re telling me you don’t want to spend all this time with Steve?”

Your mouth opens then closes as you pause for a second. “Well, yeah, but, you know, that’s not what I meant—”

Nat pats your hand as she rises to her feet, her lips twitching. “All right, come on, before you pop a blood vessel.”

Your face feels warm because she’s got that infuriating smirk that means she’s either sussed your feelings out, mortifying, or she’s just teasing you which is just as annoying. But... That is actually... That is actually quite a nice take on all of this. Despite the circumstances, you are getting to spend a lot of time with your best friend. 

You feel brighter as you follow her out and down the stairs, pushing your phone into your bag over your shoulder and closing it. Sam and Steve are still at the island, both sat on stools this time, and Steve’s laughing at something Sam is saying, gesturing with his hands what you work out is his latest attempt at trying out a new version of his wings.

“... Ah, man, I tell you, I am not paying Stark back for that,” Sam finishes as you and Nat reach the ground floor.

Steve’s chuckling fades but his smile remains as you and Nat approach, the men turning to you.

“You ready?” Nat asks him as she continues on, heading for the front door.

“Yep.”

Both men slide off of their stools as you come to a stop, hearing Nat answer a call on her phone.

“Nat’s gonna be tailin’ you two today, along with some other agents,” Sam says as he meets your gaze, rolling his shoulders.

“And what are you going to do?”

He snorts and points at the balcony. “I’m gonna try that pool out. Have a great day.”

“Ugh, I’m so jealous,” you call after him after he slaps Steve on the back and heads outside, waving.

“Me, too, actually,” Steve sighs, both of you looking out of the window at Sam, knowing how cold it is from seeing his breath in the air. “God, lounging in a heated pool all day would be nice.”

“Hey, we get to spend the day eating cake and having people stare at us.”

He chuckles as he meets your gaze, tilting his head. “Well, there’s no competition, then, is there.”

“Come on, you two,” Nat calls from the door and you both start to move at the same time, not wanting to annoy her by being half a second slower than necessary.

Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you feel... optimistic about today, your smile easy. As you both head down the short hall towards the door, Nat holding it open for you, you glance at him, one hand in his pocket as he presses the button for the elevator with the other. 

As you hear Nat closing the door behind you, you murmur to him, “You know I... I’m glad to be doing this with you, too.”

His gaze shifts to you, a corner of his mouth lifting higher than the other and, oh, how you’ve missed that twinkle in his eye.

“Let’s give ‘em America’s couple, huh?”

—

“Fuck me, this is nice.”

“Yeah... I don’t know actually. You’d have to get so lucky with the weather.”

“Oh, that’s true.”

You’d envisaged a rather nice hotel, but this place is a fucking mansion. Four floors, you can’t remember how many rooms the guide had said but there’s far too many, the ballroom where they hosted receptions was ginormous and decorated, like the entire building, to an exquisite degree that put the penthouse to shame. The gardens at the back of the property are what is really selling the place, though, stretching on with immaculately trimmed hedges and lawns, gorgeous fountains and statues.

You and Steve are standing some way off from the man showing you around, sipping champagne and surveying the land. The champagne had been a nice surprise, the glasses having been handed to you the moment the tour started as a congratulatory gift and as a taster of what the hotel could supply.

You’d flipped the brochure open with your free hand as you’d gone from one room to the next, trying to find the price list. You’d nearly spit your mouthful out when you’d seen the cost. 

Then you’d asked for a refill, the man happily obliging, so beside himself with joy that you were both considering this as the wedding venue that he’d have given you anything.

Taking a sip, you lower the glass with a snort before continuing, “Well, if you got unlucky and it rained you could just be like, ‘hey, it’s like that song’.”

“What song?” Steve had also accepted a refill, but thanks to his serum you think the alcohol is only making you a little looser.

Thank God.

“You know the one, I think it’s on the playlist, ‘it’s like rain, on ya wedding daa-ay~’...”

“Aah, yeah,” he laughs. “If you were the right couple you could get a real kick out of that.”

“You could milk that story for years.” Draining your glass, you make a sound of delight as you point down to the bottom of the garden. “Oh, look, a little bandstand.”

Steve lets out a hum, nodding. “Oh, that’s a nice touch, people love that.”

“Great photo opportunity. Oh, that reminds me, photo time.” Handing him the brochure, you open your bag and pull your phone out, having to put three codes in now to unlock it due to the new security system, and then you open the camera app. Turning slightly, your back to him, you raise your phone and beam, tilting your head, and he lowers his head into the frame, his chin just above your shoulder, and smiles. 

You take pictures together all the time, candids of the other person or selfies of your reactions to the classic films you watch, but you don’t think you’ve ever really taken a photo like this. You never post a picture of you two on your social pages, respecting his privacy and not wanting the attention it will draw, but you have a couple of framed photos at your apartment of when you’d celebrated your birthdays together that you love.

“Perfect,” you say after you take the photo, dropping your arm and locking your phone, planning to upload it when you’re back in the car.

Sliding it back into your bag, you loop your arm through his as you huff out a breath, squaring your shoulders slightly as you head back towards the guide.

“You cold?” he asks, bending his arm so it can support your hand. 

“Just a little.” You scoff. “Who decided to have a winter wedding.”

He tilts his head, exhaling a mock-exasperated breath. “Think that was you, honey.”

“Me?” You give a faux-gasp in return. “No, darling, it was you. So desperate to marry me you don’t even mind freezing.”

He side-eyes you, arching an eyebrow.

You clock on a second later.

Your eyes widening as your mouth drops open, even as a wide grin lifts the corners, you pull your arm back, trying very hard to stop a laugh. “Oh, oh, no, right, no, I didn’t mean—”

“I think I’m gonna insist on a prenup,” he tuts, shaking his head even as you watch him trying to gain control of his smile.

Laughing, you feel the damn best you have in days. Looking up at him, your teeth graze over your lower lip.

“This is actually quite fun, isn’t it?” you whisper, conspiratorially, because should it actually be, because this is actually a serious fucking mission.

His answering smile tells you it absolutely fucking can. “I think it is. Free champagne, nice apartment, and, hey, cake tasting’s comin’ up.”

You groan with delight. “Ugh, don’t, I’m already so excited, let’s go.”

Practically dragging him along, you regroup with the guide who is still just absolutely beside himself. You have a little bit more small talk, are assured the entirety of the hotel could be booked out for you, they’d be happy to notify patrons who have booked rooms on the day to reschedule or stay elsewhere, which has you catching yourself before you cringe, and then he’s taking you back towards the building.

You thank him and say goodbye, telling him you’ll let him know your decision soon, (you and the whole world will find out together, bud), and then it’s just you and Steve, walking back towards his car in the huge, gravel parking lot. It’s quiet now, the hotel often has celebrity clients so no one really ogled you even when you were in the building, just a few glances and double-takes but very discreet ones, and it’s too cold for people to be milling about out here, even if they do want an autograph.

The front gates, someway down the main gravel road, won’t be quiet, though. Paparazzi had been waiting there when you’d both arrived and they’d had to back off as Steve’s car came through, but that hadn’t stopped the flashing lights and muffled shouts coming from the small crowd. You’d just kept your gaze ahead and ignoring them and thinking about what you might have for lunch had actually helped in stopping you from feeling overwhelmed.

It’s the same as you leave, the reporters now shouting if you’ve found your dream venue. Glancing at Steve as he eases the car on to the main road and you head back towards D.C, you lean your head back against the chair.

“Does that ever really get to you?”

“The press?” He glances at you and you nod before his eyes return to the road. “Sometimes. They’ve always been there, though, since I took the serum. It’s just something I got used to. Sure, there’s social media now but press tactics haven’t changed much, and I think once they realised I’m just a boring guy who only goes out for food and a jog they’ve eased off.”

You laugh, your arms folding. “You’re not boring, Steve.”

“By press standards I am. What sells more papers, me doing the same thing every day or Stark doing something different and exciting every day?”

“Oh, well, now, you’ve got me there.” You sit up a little suddenly, staring at him. “Wait, am I gonna meet him on Saturday? What has he said about all of this? Does he know? The truth?”

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “You didn’t see the statement?”

“No, oh, God, why...” You’re fumbling with your bag, opening it, grabbing your phone and unlocking it, (God, this takes so long now), and opening up the internet browser.

Typing Tony Stark engagement statement, you tap on the first result that includes Steve’s name.

... Stark’s full statement below, released this morning:

On behalf of all the Avengers, all of New York and all of the world and the universe, Pepper and I would like to congratulate Steve and Y/N on their engagement. We couldn’t be happier for the couple and were delighted to share in their happiness with being the first to know. If he needs any advice, Steve knows he can come to me. Y/N, may God help you. 

You groan as you lower your phone. “Oh, he knows, doesn’t he...”

“Yep.” You can hear the amusement in Steve’s tone even before you look at him. “Fury thinks he hacks into the SHIELD system every now and then just to have a look around. He knows about the threat, he and I have spoken about it, so we think he just connected the dots.”

“Well, he is a smart guy,” you mutter; the understatement of the century.

Steve drops a hand from the wheel, resting it on his thigh. “He’d probably’ve been told anyway, there has been a threat made against his building and party so Nat’s gonna work with him on security.”

“That’s comforting, at least.” Placing your bag in your lap, you place your phone back inside, being careful to tilt the bag away from him slightly so he can’t see that you brought the gun Nat had given you. 

Just in case.

Zipping your bag shut and placing it on the floor, you sit back and put the radio on, both of you soon humming along to it, Steve’s fingers tapping against the steering wheel.

The rest of the journey is comfortably quiet, both of you just listening to the radio and commenting every now and then on a song or singing along. A glance in the wing mirror every now and then tells you a couple of news vans and cars are following but Nat had told you to expect that and that a couple of the cars would have an agent in. They fall back somewhat as you return to the city, traffic starting to grow.

By the time you reach the cafe you can’t see any of them but you know it won’t be long before they catch up.

Well, ‘cafe’.

Nat had called it a ‘cafe’, but you would have called it a ‘fancy bistro that you, Dolly and Bridge’ would go to either on pay-day or for very special occasions’. It’s all leather booths and low, dim lighting, with black and white photographs on the walls of different places around the world along with quotes in neon lights. It even has a valet. Nat had made a reservation, though, so they’re expecting you and you’re greeted by name as you enter, the waitress beaming. She’s lovely, though, introduces herself as Charlie and is genuine in her asking of how your day is going as she leads you to the table Nat had booked for you; a booth up in the furthest corner with no other tables close to it.

After ordering your drinks and food, and snapping a quick picture because you know Bridge’ will love the interior here, you’re left alone, an indication that this place also probably serves celebrity patrons. 

With these prices I wouldn’t be surprised.

Due to the time of day, and it being a weekday, it’s quiet, the few people here either older or seemingly having business lunches. They’re all sitting quite far away from you two, but maybe Nat had requested the tables around you be kept free, probably compensating them quite handsomely for it.

It gives you a chance to talk freely, though, which is nice, but you still keep your voice low.

“This is a nice place,” you murmur as you sit back, your hands falling into your lap, “We need to start going to more upmarket places.”

He arches an eyebrow, one arm resting on the table, the elbow on the other placed on it, his hand supporting his jaw as he feigns hurt. “You don’t like our diner?”

“I love our diner, are you kidding. No, I just...” You blow a breath out, shaking your head. “I was gonna say I wish we went out more, for dinner or lunch or even breakfast, but, no, I like it when we stay in and cook.”

A corner of his mouth lifts. “Yeah, me, too.”

 You shrug. “Maybe we should get out more, though.” You then tilt your head. “Oh, but I like staying in. Am I making any sense?”

He exhales a laugh as he nods. “Uh, yeah, a little.” His features soften. “I understand. I like going out, too, sometimes, and feeling, well, I can’t say this in any way that doesn’t sound self-pitying, but feeling normal.”

That makes your chest ache.

“No, I know what you mean.” You widen your smile. “Do you remember that bar we went to, in the summer? The one Sam took us to? I liked that place.”

“Oh, yeah, I liked that place, too. Great prices on beer.”

Your lips twitch and you continue, “Maybe we could go to more places like that, find bars and restaurants that have people that will just... leave us be.”

“Yeah,” he nods after a moment.

Charlie returns with your drinks then, and you don’t catch that his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he sits back. After you thank her and she leaves, he says after a short pause as you both take a sip, making his smile widen and his eyebrows raising, “We should start to plan what we’re gonna say for the interview, we can probably predict the most basic questions they’ll ask.”

You catch yourself before you pull a face, lowering your drink and swallowing, licking your lips. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  You discuss the finer details as your food arrives and you eat, the irony not lost on you and your whispering brain that yeah, you had started to develop feelings for him as you’d grown closer over the years.

But we’re not thinking about that right now.

When you finish your food and just about finalise your story, though, you’re actually quite relieved it’s quite close to the truth, it’ll make it all easier to remember. Charlie approaches with the receipt in a gold tray and places it between you, prompting you to nudge it towards him.

“Oh, he’s paying.”

“Oh, it’s already been taken care of,” she smiles, clasping her hands together.

Both of you look at her, your eyebrows raising.

“Has it?” Steve asks, and you suspect Nat is the culprit, but why—

She turns and points to a table a little way away. “That couple over there have settled the bill.”

You and Steve crane your necks to follow the direction of her finger. An elderly man and woman sit at a table, looking over and smiling warmly. The man formally salutes Steve, who, you see in the corner of your eye, returns it.

As you glance up at her, she continues, “The gentleman said you were his hero growing up, Mr Rogers, and that his father served during the war.”

Steve looks at her after a moment. “Can we pay for their meal?”

“They've already settled their bill, too.”

You watch Steve return his gaze to the couple, nodding and returning their wide, warm smile as Charlie steps away, but you can see the slightly helpless look that washes over him, knowing he’ll want to repay the debt and display his gratitude in a meaningful way.

Leaning forward, you murmur, “Go and say hello.”

His gaze darts to you. “You don’t mind?”

“Of course not,” you smile, your features soft. “Go. They’ve been very polite but I think talking to you will make their week.”

He nods, and you know he’ll have needed that little push, that assurance that he could give something back. You watch him as he slides out of the booth and makes his way over, your smile growing as the man touches the woman’s hand and his eyes widen.

You watch them introduce themselves to Steve and shake his hand, and watch them laugh as they talk, watch Steve, relaxed and easy. A sense of pride suddenly starts to bloom within you, your stomach flipping slightly.

Your phone vibrating pulls your attention away, and you open your bag, pulling it out and unlocking it. A message from Aaron greets you. You’d swapped numbers, you finding Instagram too intimidating and daunting to go on much now, and it just makes it easier.

I hope your day’s going okay

You smile lightly, your teeth grazing over your lower lip as you reply. Putting your phone away, when you look back up, their conversation seems to be ending as Steve shakes their hands again, and then he points to you.

You smile widely and wave as they do and mouth, “Thank you so much.”

They just wave their hands dismissively, beaming. Steve returns to you as they gather their things and move towards the exit, a smile lingering on his lips.

“They seemed really nice,” you say as you get to your feet, shouldering your bag.

“They were really nice, that was a good conversation.” He continues as you both head for the exit, too, “Told me all about his dad, how he was nearly stationed near me but then he got injured.” Both of you pause as Charlie brings you your coats and you thank her for the service, both of you handing her a few notes for a tip which makes her beam.

“He was a lovely guy, he and his wife,” he says as you step out into the small porch area, adjusting your coats, Steve handing his ticket to the valet, who races off to retrieve his car. Paparazzi have spotted you, but the bistro has a small gate and hedges up, blocking them from your view. 

Looking up at him, you smile again as he does, sliding his hands into his pockets, “He congratulated me on our engagement, too, said I’m a lucky man.”

You give a faux-smug smirk even as you feel heat rise on your cheeks. “Well, duh.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you, knew it would go to your head.”

You laugh as he shakes his head, the smile rising on his lips.

“Well, you did, and I’m gonna hang on to it forever.”

You hang on to it as the valet returns and you and Steve head outside, ignoring the shouts of the paparazzi and their snapping cameras once more, (hey, this is surprisingly easy), and for the ride over to the first cake shop.

It’s just as fancy as the hotel and bistro had been, but you get the sense Nat has chosen them not for their aesthetic qualities but more for the structure and layout of their buildings. The hotel had tall gates, the front one far from the building, the bistro had gates and hedges to obscure the door, and barely any windows, and the cake shop is nearly identical to the bistro, immaculate, neat hedges at the front, a small entrance-way between them, and floor to ceiling windows only on the front wall of the store. It’s connected to another shop on one side, the other a sidewalk, so Steve is able to park right outside, giving you the opportunity to dart across the pavement, through the entrance-way and straight into the store.

No reporters or citizens were waiting for you outside, which is excellent so you automatically like the shop very much, (no snitches here, wonderful), though you know that’ll soon change, as it has to.

Think about cakes, please.

As you enter the store, an older woman approaches with a wide, warm smile and greets you by name, (I could get used to this), and directs you towards a small, grey table, giving you a moment to take a seat. You glance up and meet the gaze of the other two couples here, one looking away quickly and whispering to each other, the other smiling at you a little shyly. You return it with a wide smile, and a slight raising of your eyebrows, a look of almost, ‘Look at us, huh, choosing our wedding cakes, how exciting’.

And, God, this is; you can see samples of the cakes behind a glass display window, freshly made and brightly lit, and photographs on the walls of some of their favourite creations. The interior is also gorgeous, industrial with a classy edge.

The woman, Damilola, she introduced herself as, places a book before you that lists their flavours, some you’ve never even heard of, styles, decorations, previous creations, prices and a page with a classy version of ‘create your own’. She takes a seat with you and is delightful and warm, and you feel bad for thinking for a moment or two if it’s an act to keep clients happy.

Then again, if I worked in a cake shop I’d be happy all the time.

This is by far the easiest thing you’ve done all day, maybe in your life, you and Steve both genuinely interested in the process and asking her how long she’s worked here, (30 years and she’s the manager), and she isn’t surprised when you ask for a sample of nearly every flavour, in fact she seems quite relieved.

“People tend to go for what they know and never really experiment or try anything new.”

Lady, you’re in luck; I’m still hungry and I’m gonna get what I can out of this.

You’re given a little card book to make a note of what you liked and didn’t like but it’s barely given a glance as you and Steve tuck in to the long plates that Damilola has placed down. She’s leaves you be, so you’re free to groan, albeit quietly, with delight at nearly every mouthful. Not every one’s a winner but, hey, it’s free cake.

“Mmh, oh, Steve...” you groan after a particularly divine slice and lick the crumbs from your lips.

He just nods and hums in return, scooping up every little crumb he can with his tiny fork.

Leaning a little closer, you whisper, “I’m so in love with this place, I’m gonna buy an end of engagement cake after this, and you can expect all your birthday cakes to be from here.”

Wiping his mouth, he sits back and nods, blowing out a breath of satisfaction. “I’m not gonna complain about that. Can my birthday be every week?”

You nod enthusiastically as you lick your lips again. “Gotta start making up for some, right?”

He laughs as you smile, putting your fork down and pushing your plate away.

“Perfect, we’ve got an air-tight reason. Should we take some samples back to the apartment? Or take some from the next place?”

“Oh my God, I forgot there’s gonna be another.” You pat your stomach as you sit back, knowing you’re full... but... “... We can take some samples from here. For the sake of comparison.”

“Absolutely, the sake of comparison...” He’s already lifting his hand to get Damilola’s attention, and when she approaches with a warm smile, he orders a slice of everything you liked to go. 

Again, she’s not surprised, but smiles rather knowingly. “They’re good, aren’t they?”

“So good—”

“Honestly so delicious—”

“... Heaven...”

“... Don’t think I’ve had a better selection of cakes in my life...”

She laughs at you and Steve talking over each and heads off to box them up for you.

Resting your chin in your palm with a contented sigh, you look over at him with a smile, lowering your voice. “I have really enjoyed today.”

He looks at you and holds your gaze, one side of his mouth higher than the other. “Me, too. It hasn’t been so bad, has it?”

You follow his eye-line that briefly lifts to look out of the front windows, the tops of peoples heads and cameras just able to be seen over the hedges.

“No,” you answer, dropping your hand onto the table. “What was your favourite cake?”

He blinks slightly as your swift conversation change but doesn’t say anything, raising his eyebrows as he links his fingers together over his stomach. “Oh, now that is a tough question that’s gonna take some more sampling to determine.”

“You’re damn right there, Rogers.” Your smile widening, you look up to Damilola as she returns with two medium-sized boxes. 

You both thank her warmly and greatly as you pull your coats on and take the boxes, moving towards the exit, and ask her to give your compliments to the bakers, who have been peering out of the kitchen every few moments to get a look at Steve and see your reactions.

She promises to and that you’re welcome back any time and she looks forward to hearing your decision. You say your goodbyes as she holds the door open for you, each of you holding a box, and you step out and—

The crowd has grown. A lot. 

Swallowing lightly, you follow after Steve as you head towards it, barely able to see his car, and you lower your head slightly as you start to push through because they don’t part. Your photo from the hotel and one you took of the interior of the bistro, both of which you’d uploaded during the car rides, has obviously indicated you and Steve are out and about and are now in the city, and even if you hadn’t been uploading them, you know you’re being tailed by various media outlets and citizens. Your movements are probably being reported minute by minute.

... I wonder what people are saying.

No, stop it.

It’s too late, though. That thought, that one little thought, has embedded in your mind and just like that, the mental wall you had put up comes crumbling down.

“... comment on how you’re feeling...”

“... when’s the date set for...”

“... is it true it’s going to be...”

“... do you have anything to say about the article in the...”

“... using Steve to further your career...”

You’re listening to them now, seeing them, really seeing them. The whole day you’ve forced your mind to be blank, to think of something else, to just stare and move on, on, on, almost akin to dissociating, but you’ve lost it now and it’s overwhelming.

You’re staring into the faces of wide-eyed, shouting people, microphones and cameras, flashing lights making you blink and narrow your eyes. You realise suddenly that Steve’s taken your free hand with his and is trying to keep you close behind him, pulling you through the crowd. Some people are shouting at others, telling them to give you space, actually pushing them back, but this is so much worse than when you’d left your apartment, your actual apartment, your home, oh my God, I want to go home...

Damilola has come out of the shop to ask the crowd to move back, saying they’re blocking the way for their customers, but she can only do so much, and her voice is just barely able to be heard above the sound.

“Come on, guys, can you let us through?” you hear Steve saying, frustration seeping into his tone.

Someone in this crowd wants him dead. 

The thought comes out of nowhere, so suddenly and so sharply that a rush of breath escapes you. You don’t realise your hand is squeezing his, your nails digging into his skin.

Suddenly, he’s pulling you in front of him, his arm around your back and you realise you’re at the car, and somewhere far in your mind you’re so fucking grateful he thought ahead and parked with the passenger side against the curb. You’re pressed tight between him and the car, your back against his chest, and his arms are either side of you, shielding you in as he opens the door, moving back with you to give you space to get in. You do and as he slams the door shut you close your eyes, feeling for the seatbelt and securing it. You keep them closed even as people tap against the window, even as you hear Steve telling them to back off as he makes his way around the car, even as they keep on shouting and shouting and shouting.

Steve opens the door and gets in, slamming it shut and reaching back with his other hand to place his box on the back seat, and starts the engine as you open your eyes. When people don’t move away, he blares the horn and people start pulling others out of the way, yelling at them to move. Then there’s a gap and he’s pulling away, hissing out a string of curses, his grip tight on the steering wheel.

“Hm?” you say, your gaze darting to him as you register that he’s spoken to you.

He looks between you and the road, concern and fury trying to fight for their share across his features. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I just...”

When you don’t continue, looking at him, he nods, having seen the faint glint of desperation in your eyes.

“How about we take these cakes home and do some more testing, huh?”

You look down at your lap, forgetting you had even been holding the box and nod as you swallow, managing a smile. “That sounds like the best thing.”

“All right.” As you keep a tight grip on your bag, he presses a button on his steering wheel and says, “Call Nat.”

She answers on the first ring. “What happened?”

He shakes his head even though she can’t see it. “There was too many people, Nat. It was a fuckin’ nightmare,��it was too much.”

She sighs on the other end, and there’s a note of frustration to it. “I know, I could see from where we are, we had some agents in there keeping people back but we couldn’t do too much or they’d risk blowing their cover.”

He releases a breath as he rolls his shoulders. “I know, it’s all right. We’re gonna head back to the apartment, can you cancel our reservation for the other place?”

“Yeah, sure. Do you want me to come over?”

He glances at you and says a moment later, “No, we’ll be okay.”

“All right, I’ll message you.”

After she ends the call, he releases another, longer breath. You’ve kept your gaze on the dashboard, just focusing on your breathing.

There’s silence.

Then, you feel his hand back on yours, his fingers curling around it. You don’t move, you don’t say anything, either of you, but it’s so nice. It’s so grounding. Closing your eyes, you focus on it, letting it anchor you in the moment as you just breathe.

— 

“Nat says they've got their eye on a couple of suspects,” Steve says as he returns from the kitchen, handing you a drink.

You move your hand out from under the blanket and accept it with a smile, balancing it on your stomach, your fingers wrapped around it. “That’s good.”

“Yeah.” He resumes his position on the other end of the couch, stretching his legs out. “She’s hopin’ tomorrow will be the indicator, see who follows you and who follows me.”

“Where are you going?”

“To see Peg.”

A smile lifts your lips as you look at him. “Oh, that’ll be nice, tell her I say hello.”

“I will,” he says as the ad break ends and the next programme starts. 

You’d been watching a travel show, making a mental note of some of the places you want to run away to when this is all over. After you’d arrived back at the apartment, about an hour ago, and kicked your shoes off, put your bag and the cake box down and sat on the couch and turned the TV on, you’d flicked through some channels and settled on it and hadn’t moved since. You’d heard Steve move around in the kitchen for a few minutes before he’d joined you, handing you a drink and a blanket.

You’d both sat quietly, commenting every now and then on the places shown and how nice they were, both of you knowing you don’t want to talk quite yet about the day.

Now, though, the talk show you’d caught yesterday begins. As the opening theme plays, you exhale a breath and Steve shifts as one of the presenters talks over it, images and headlines on the screen.

Images of you and Steve from today.

“Let the wedding bells ring! It looks like our new favourite couple are deep into planning their special day!” she trills. “On the show today we’ll be giving you all the coverage of where they went and what they got up to... and the wedding date!”

Slightly shaky, zoomed in footage from someone’s phone starts to play, showing you and Steve walking back at the hotel, your arm looped through his, both of you smiling.

Ah, so someone had done more than just double-take.

Your lips twitch as Steve reaches for the remote.

“Also coming up, the must-have gift for kids this Christmas, you will not want to miss it!”

For a reason you don’t quite know, as the screen shows the presenters sat at their table, pictures of you and Steve displayed on the small screens behind them, a laugh escapes you. 

Steve’s gaze darts to you as he pauses and you laugh again. "What?”

Unable to stop a smile, you rub your face with your hands with a slight groan. “This is just so dumb.”

He glances at the screen, which shows the presenters poring over a copy of the menu from they bistro they must have printed off, and the corners of his mouth twitch.

“Are you kidding me, this is top-notch journalism,” he says, just as the woman declares with a laugh, “... well, I’d’ve had the salad and a margarita!”

You burst out laughing into your hands as you simultaneously groan and cringe, Steve’s chuckling only fuelling you on.

It’s a good minute or so before you both calm down, Steve looking at you with a grin, his arms folded as you blow out a breath and wipe your eyes. He opens his mouth to say something when your phone vibrates on the coffee table, the screen lighting up.

Clearing you throat as your smile lingers, you glance at it and see you have a notification so you lean over to try and get it. You fall just short, though, and you groan, looking at him.

“Help mee...”

“All right, all right, I got it...” Sighing mock-exasperatedly, he sits forward and leans over, lifting it and handing it to you.

He catches who the message is from.

"Thank you kindly,” you say as you sit up, reading the message.

Sitting back, he says it before he can stop himself. “Aaron, is that the door guard at our place?”

Oh.

“Yeah.” You don’t want to elaborate, and you reply to the message quickly before you lock your phone, dropping it into your lap, and look up at Steve... and there’s a slightly teasing smile on his lips.

“You like Aaron, huh?”

“No...” you scoff, folding your arms, and he just arches an eyebrow, making your mouth open and close. “... Maybe a little.”

 “All right.”

“Don’t start—”

His widening smile is accompanied by a tilt of his head and both eyebrows raising. “Hey, I owe you for all those Sharon jokes.”

You had ribbed him about that. A lot.

You pull a face as you make a begrudgingly agreeing sound, and he chuckles, his arm resting on the back of the couch. Looking at you, he speaks after a moment.

“I’m sorry that this is ruining starting something with him.”

You blink at him, your lips parting, before you snort quickly, waving your hand dismissively. “Oh, no, don’t be silly. I just like him, it’s just a crush, doesn’t mean I actually want to have a relationship with him. Everyone has those kind of crushes, don’t you?”

Did I say that too quickly.

He looks at you for a few moments, then his eyebrows raise a little. “Ah... Well, yeah, a couple, possibly.”

“Who?”

Now I definitely said that too quickly.

He shrugs a shoulder, rubbing a hand against his jaw. “Couple of people at work.”

“Well,” you smile, tilting your head, “Sorry if this is ruining anything for you with them.”

He chuckles as he shakes his head. “Well, sounds like we’ve got options once the break up’s announced.”

“Yeah,” you laugh, perhaps a touch too forcefully.

There’s silence.

“Well,” you say a little loudly, pushing the blanket off of you and sliding your legs off of the couch, “I think I’m gonna go and take a nap. Cake tasting is exhausting.”

“Who knew, huh?”

He smiles as he watches you go. It fades a little as you ascend the stairs.

A crush these days meant you didn’t want a relationship?

He doesn’t just have a crush, then.

—

Comments and reblogs make my day in a way I can’t describe.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged or untagged in this series!

Tagged: @herb-welch, @jobean12-blog, @gifsbysimplysonia, @multireality, @saltyspiceduh, @sergeantangel, @sarcasm-is-my-native-tounge, @lex-is-up-all-night-to-get-bucky, @dispatchvampire, @superapplepie, @rynabarnesrogers-reading, @im-not-great-at-making-up-names, @imaginedreamwrite, @thesefleshfailures, @mrsbarnes32557038, @tellthemall-i-saidhi​, @tacohead13​, @opalsandlace​, @notsomellowmushroom​, @river-soul, @ollypopp​

[autodidactlife]

Senate Bill 6516

“The legislature recognizes the need to provide rural areas the same opportunity to retain and enhance the job base as those in urban areas, while protecting the environment,preventing urban sprawl, and ensuring lands may be used for all.”

http://lawfilesext.leg.wa.gov/biennium/2017-18/Pdf/Bills/Senate%20Bills/6516.pdf

This might sound like they are protecting the environment and being green at first glance, and that’s what they want you to think. Most people do not understand what is meant by urban sprawl. I’ll include a link, but basically this limits the type housing allowed to be built. It is the end of single family homes being built and replaced with mixed use buildings.

https://www.britannica.com/topic/urban-sprawl

Mixed use buildings are ground floor shops with at least 2 floors of apartments on top, typically built in the downtown area of a city or town. Look around your city and I’ll bet you can find a couple of them being erected as I type this. I know there are 3 in process in my city, starting price of $1000 a month, for a studio. Just FYI, you could buy 2 houses here and not paying that in a mortgage.

Now this sounds all well and good (to some) but is it? When you’re being herded like cattle into a small, dense area with extremely limited parking? I don’t think so. I hate living in apartments. Noisy, nosey neighbors, communal laundromat to be shared with the hoarder who has bedbugs, having to stay vigilant because the neighbor across the hall doesn’t clean and has roaches you don’t want, screaming kids in the hallways, mandated quiet times even though your schedule is different from everyone else...ugh.

Well this is the plan, folks. For every city in every State. Although this bill is for WA State, it will soon be adopted in yours as part of Sustainable Cities. It may come as a shock to you, but less than 10% of the US is developed. They would have you believe land is becoming scarce, but you’re a smart person who actually looks things up. It’s time for you to find out the truth and stop allowing them to talk you into giving up your freedom.

[alphacrone]

in which dex & bitty have a fight, bitty & ransom make out, dex comes to realize a few things, & poor nursey is ghosted for a couple hours. also pie.

[Part of the Blue-Eyed Jack ‘Verse. Set loosely between All Decked Out Like a Cowboy’s Dream and Kitty & the Biscuits]

CW: dubious consent (drunk surprise kissing), vague homophobia, coming out, canon typical alcohol abuse (they are taking very small shots i promise)

CON’T TEXT CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU AND DEREK NURSE

WP: And then Cait said she’d call the cops and those kids ran so fast, it was hilarious.

DN: who’s Cait?

DN: also LOL

WP: Chow’s girlfriend.

DN: wait i thought you guys were all gay

WP: Why would you think that?

DN: ur the Gay Country Band i thought that meant the Whole band

WP: No.

WP: Just Bitty.

WP: I think.

WP: Chowder has a girlfriend.

WP: Ransom’s brought girls home more than once.

WP: Just Bitty.

DN: what about u?

WP: What about me?

DN: u just listed all the reasons ur bandmates aren’t gay

DN: but not urself

DN: y?

WP: I didn’t think I needed to say it.

WP: What does it matter?

DN: idk just curious

WP: Whatever.

Dex huffed and slumped back against the nasty, green couch. He knew Bitty would make a fuss about sitting on it -- the thing had been a point of contention between him and Chowder for months now -- but the only other option were the lumpy arm chairs and Dex hated those things.

“You texting with Derek again?”

Dex started; he hadn't realized Bitty was home. “Yeah. Why d’you ask?”

Bitty cast him a wry look over the back of the couch. “He stresses you out in a way only Chowder ever has.”

“That's not true,” Dex said grumpily. “You stress me out the most.”

“So kind,” Bitty teased. “Keep up that kinda sweet talk and I'll think you're flirting with me.”

Normally Dex would've laughed at the absurdity of the idea, but today it gave him pause. “Do people really think we’re the ‘gay country band?’”

Bitty’s smile fell. “Well, yeah, sort of. Why?”

Dex shrugged, glancing at his phone. “I don't know. Just something Derek said. I thought it was like...you were the ‘gay country singer’ and we were just your band.”

Bitty’s face grew steely and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I'm sorry you have to suffer through the inconvenience of people assuming you're gay, that must just be so difficult-”

“Bitty,” Dex started, but Bitty was already headed out of the room.

“I'm going to the store,” Bitty said gruffly, grabbing his wallet from the key basket. “Be back later.” Dex stood to follow, hand outstretched.

“Bits-” But the front door slammed shut. Dex huffed a frustrated sigh and punched the wall, not quite hard enough to break anything but just enough to hurt.

Why was it that Derek’s texts annoyed him so much? Dex had never minded being lumped in with the rainbow flags and hell-bound accusations before; the Biscuits were a team and a team stuck together, had each other’s backs. Bitty was the only one of them who was gay, but they all stood for his message.

Except...except maybe he wasn't the only one at all.

It had been about a year prior, and they were on the last stretch of a tour, heading from Boise to Seattle through a long stretch of absolutely nothing. Rans had picked up a thing of decent whiskey in a sketchy, Idaho liquor store and they were in the middle of a rousing game of never have I ever. Chowder was winning at this point, with only a few fingers down, but seemed to be mercilessly targeting Bitty.

(“Never ever I have ever...lived in Madison, Georgia.”

“I swear to God, Christopher-”)

Dex was doing alright himself. He'd been impacted by Bitty’s attacks against northerners and hockey fans, but not in the same way Ransom had. Now they were battling each other ruthlessly, determined not to go out first. Bitty had two fingers left; Ransom had one.

There was something dangerously smug in Ransom’s drunken gaze as he rounded on Bitty, smirk growing. “Never ever have I ever...kissed another man.”

Bitty gasped indignantly and took his shot like a champ, very reluctantly lowering a finger. Before the next turn could be taken, however, he lunged across the circle and pulled Ransom’s mouth to his.

It wasn't the most coordinated kissing Dex had ever seen. Ransom was drunk enough that the force of it knocked him over to the side, and he dragged Bitty with him. Bitty paid no mind to the fact that he was now lying on top of his best friend; they both sort of got lost in the movements of their lips, kissing languidly and sloppily for a moment, like they were the only two people on that bus.

Then Bitty pulled back with a triumphant grin and shouted, “Take a shot, Justin.”

“No!” Ransom flopped back onto the ground, covering his face in his hands. “Bits that was a dirty move. I call foul!”

“Don't be a sore loser,” Bitty chirped, filling Ransom’s shot glass halfway. Dex supposed it would've been filled all the way if Bitty hadn't spilled so much onto the floor of the tour bus.

“Bitty, that was great!” Chowder said through his laughter. “Wasn't it, Dex?”

But Dex couldn't answer, all too aware of the uncomfortable tightness of his pants. He willed himself to calm down, to not show just how much he'd been affected by the scene in front of him.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Bitty was huffing out as Ransom tried to sit on him. “Did I offend your delicate, Canadian sensibilities?”

“I'll show you delicate,” Ransom hissed, using his full body weight to squish Bitty against the floor. Bitty’s cheeks had gone bright red from the liquor and the exertion, and Dex found the sight more intoxicating than the alcohol in his bloodstream. “You're a huge cheater and I'm gonna make sure the whole world knows.” He pulled a marker from his pocket, uncapping it with his teeth.

“No you don't!” Bitty shouted, struggling against Ransom, but Ransom was twice his size and loomed over him. Dex swallowed roughly. “We have an interview tomorrow! Absolutely not! Do not draw on my face- I will call your mother right now.”

Somewhere in there, Dex excused himself to the bathroom, and hoped no one noticed when he took a little extra time and returned glassy-eyed and out of breath.

When Bitty returned from the “store” several hours later, he was met by the sight of a pie. Peaches and cream, to be exact.

It was nothing fancy, not like the salted rose and honey pie Bitty had made the day before, the crust shaped into beautiful braids and flower petals, but it was the one kind of pie Bitty could never bring himself to make, despite the fact that it was his favorite. Dex had a hunch as to why this was, but had never gotten a direct answer about it. And that didn’t matter right now.

“I didn’t…” He started as Bitty cautiously stepped into the kitchen, eyes wide as he studied the pie on the table. “I wasn’t trying to imply I was- it’s not-”

“Dex, it’s fine,” Bitty said sullenly. “You’re not the first straight guy I’ve known who’s-”

“I’m gay,” Dex blurted out, wringing his hands together. “Um. Yeah.”

Bitty’s eyes, if possible, grew wider. “Oh! Oh, Dex, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve- I should’ve-”

“You didn’t know,” Dex said with a small shrug. “And honestly...I haven’t been sure about it myself. Until now.”

“Oh, hun.” Bitty surged forward and pulled Dex into a tight hug. Dex let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and rested his chin on top of Bitty’s head. “C’mon, let’s eat this pie you made and you can talk about it. Or not!” He added, pulling back with a worried expression. “You don’t have to, unless you want to, but if you want to I’m always here, please know that-”

“Bits.” Dex grabbed both of his shoulders, smiling down at him. “There’s no one else I’d want to talk to about it more.”

“Because I’m the only gay guy you know?” Bitty chirped, moving to cut two slices of pie. Dex rolled his eyes.

“I do have other friends, you know,” he said, pulling out two plates and two forks.

“Sure,” Bitty said lightly. “And I’m an NBA player.” He handed a plate to Dex with a teasing grin.

“Ass,” Dex said, but kissed Bitty’s cheek lightly in thanks. Bitty rolled his eyes but Dex felt a million pounds lighter, just from the sheer freedom of being able to do something like that without consequence, at least in the safety of their kitchen. Bitty took his own slice and shepherded Dex into the living room, chatting a mile a minute about how good the pie smelled and how impressed he was Dex had made it all on his own.

When Chowder returned from Cait’s that evening, he walked into the living room to see Bitty and Dex asleep on the couch -- on top of a beach towel, obviously -- Bitty’s legs perched in Dex’s lap and an empty pie tin sitting on the coffee table.

In Dex’s hand, about to fall to the floor, was his phone, still open to some text thread. Carefully, Chowder took the phone and set it on the table, noticing that the thread was with Derek Nurse, unsurprisingly. They’d all befriended the Falcs the evening Bitty and Jack got together; Chowder himself was frequently in contact with Snowy and Tater, and on occasion Nurse himself. He didn’t look at the thread, but if he had, it might’ve made him smile.

CON’T TEXT CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU AND DEREK NURSE

WP: Sorry for ghosting. Had a fight with Bitty.

DN: dude u ok?

WP: Yeah, it’s all sorted out.  

WP: Also sorry for being a dick earlier. You didn’t deserve that reaction.

DN: nah im sorry for prying

WP: It’s just...not something I’m ready to talk about with most people just yet.

DN: will you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to

DN: we’re not bffs i understand

WP: No, I trust you.

WP: But it’s hard.

WP: Bitty’s a good first step I think.

WP: Then...friends.

DN: like me?

WP: Yeah. Like you.

DN: that’s

DN: that means a lot

DN: thank you

WP: Don’t let it go to your head.

DN: wouldn’t dream of it. ;)

WP: Ugh I already regret telling you this.

DN: no take backs. Ur stuck with me :D

WP: There are worse things I guess.

DN: chlamydia?

WP: Goodnight, Derek.

DN: night, will. don’t let the bedbugs bite

DN: unless ur into that ;) ;) ;)

WP: Go away

DN: :*

DN: wow did u really text jack to tell me to shut up?

DN: rude

DN: goodNIGHT will, hope bitty feeds u poisoned pie

WP: :*

DN: emoticon. can’t tell if im proud or mad

DN: u better sleep w one eye open

WP: Go to sleep. I’ll still be here to annoy in the morning.

DN: good :)

[alainawriteswwe]

Pride and Prejudice and Wrestling- Part 9

Characters: Seth Rollins x Reader, The gang from Raw

Summary: When a superstar Hollywood actress (The Reader), interacts with WWE Superstar Seth Rollins at Monday Night Raw, sparks fly. Can Rollins overcome his pride and convince the reader to take a chance on him when she’s still recovering from a nasty scandal caused by her cheating fiancé?

Warnings: Lots of flirting, angsty longing and some bad words

Tags: @caramara3; @panda-girl1999; @easyobsession — Chapter 9 The Unwanted Proposal

“What do you mean there’s only one bed?”

Seth sighed. “It’s on my profile for reservations. I like one bed.”

I rubbed my temples. I was tired and a headache was building.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

“It’s a king size bed.”

“And you’re over six feet of long arms and legs. That king bed might as well be a double.”

I wheeled my suitcase over to the bank of elevators and paused. This hotel was the same chain as in Miami. The elevator looked the same.

I had a vivid flash of memory. Seth and I in that elevator in Miami. All heated kisses and caresses. Bodies pressed together. Damn but I would have let him take me completely in that elevator in Miami if we hadn’t been interrupted.

Seth came up behind me. “The scene of the crime, man. Afraid to get in here with me huh?”

“Absolutely not,” I said in a rather haughty voice. I held my head high and wheeled my luggage into the elevator when it arrived.

Seth came in with his luggage too as did a older woman.

“Was it this wall or the one opposite where I nipped at those sexy shoulders of yours?” Seth whispered into my ear.

I ignored him. Luckily our room was on a lower floor, so we got out quickly.

I was aggravated and tired and now Seth had the nerve to tease me because he hated me so much.

He unlocked the room door and I took in the scene. It was a nice, standard hotel room with one rather large bed in the middle.

I sighed. I was hoping for a couch as well. That way I could sleep there while Seth took the bed. No luck there though. I was having a real run of bad luck lately.

“Which side of the bed do you want?” I asked, so I knew where to drop my stuff.

Seth looked mischievous. “The middle, as you should remember.”

I had tried to block out our night in Miami. Only I couldn’t. I remembered Seth’s scent. The feeling of rightness and possession I had as he joined us together. The weight of his body on mine and how glorious it felt. The feeling of my fingertips gliding over those hard abs. I remembered lots of stuff from Miami. Shake yourself out of it girl!

“Nice try Seth. Left or right?”

“Left.”

I bit my bottom lip. “I’m sorry about the bed situation Seth. It’s not fun for me either.”

Seth was annoyed by the turn in conversation. I could hear it in his voice.

“What? You afraid I’m going to ravish you in the middle of the night? You think you’re that irresistible?”

“Hardly. You’ve made it quite clear you would rather cuddle up with a rattlesnake instead of me. So I’m not worried you are going to make a pass at me in bed. And if it’s privacy you want we can figure something out.”

I took a step towards the bed and looked at the headboard. “We could put up The Walls of Jericho.”

“What?” The Kingslayer looked confused. His strong brow rumpled. It was adorable.

“It’s from a movie. One of my favorites. ‘It Happened One Night’ with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. They are a unmarried couple who are pretending to be together and they have to share a bedroom at a roadside motel. So they put a string down the middle of the bed and put blankets over it to divide the space. They called it The Walls of Jericho.”

“Humph.” He unzipped the smaller of his suitcases and took out some casual clothes.

“The only Walls of Jericho that I’m familiar with are much more painful than that.”

I dropped that line of conversation there. Instead I got on the floor and unzipped my suitcase while Seth took out a mini flashlight and began checking behind the bed board and under the mattress.

“What are you doing?”

“Bedbug check.”

“What?”

“Gotta be careful.”

“But this is a nice hotel.” I suddenly shivered from being creeped out.

“Yeah, well, bedbugs like nice hotels too. I always check. I learned this from Roman. You can never be too careful.”

He clicked off his flashlight. “Looks good.”

Seth then started putting his prepped meals in the mini fridge.

It was all really domestic. Seth brushed his teeth and I went to the bathroom to change into my pajamas and take off my make up. When I came out I was shocked to find Seth standing before me fully naked as he texted from his phone.

My mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He couldn’t even bother to cover up and be decent in front of me.

But then I was a couldn’t believe I was having the pleasure of seeing him naked andI couldn’t even touch him. His thighs with their corded muscles seemed so strong. I was itching to touch him. Feel the smooth skin, the hardness of the muscle beneath. I took in a breath and turned away. My God, was I blushing.

“Seth, why are you naked?”

He shrugged like it was no big deal. “I always sleep naked. Why would I put on pajamas just because you’re here?” I still couldn’t look at him. “Common decency. Courtesy. Maybe even self dignity.”

He paused. “Turn around and look at me,” he commanded.

I did as I was told. Damn it why did I always feel compelled to follow his commands.

I turned and looked at him, focusing on his face and nothing below the chin. My libido was not to be trusted.

Seth looked at me. “I’m not changing my routine for you while we are on the road. Remember that.”

“I don’t have to remember when you keep reminding me that you hate me.”

He turned away from me then, focusing now on turning back the sheets of the bed. We both got in and lay facing away from each other, as close to the edge as possible, so there was no accidental touching. Seth’s table light was still on so there was some soft golden light. Finally, after a few awkward moments, Seth broke it.

“You did well today.”

“Thank you. Although I didn’t really do anything. I wasn’t even on camera.”

“You learned the ways of the company. People were excited to see and meet you. They see you as one of us now.”

“I don’t know about that.”

Seth ignored my statement. “No. You’re one of us. Most important, you treated the veterans with respect. I’m proud of you. As my girlfriend, you did me proud.”

“Fake girlfriend,” I clarified and punched my pillow as I tried to get comfortable.

“Of course. Fake girlfriend. Look, fake or not I’m still proud.”

“Well my hand is going to fall off from shaking everyone’s hand today, so I’m glad that made you proud.”

“I know it makes no sense, but we have our traditions in wrestling. They are important. You have to show deference.”

“I’m glad we don’t have all these rules in acting.” That was a lie though. We had some nutty traditions in acting. That whole ‘The Scottish Play’ business.

Seth let out a huff. “When I came up to the main roster I thought I was the end all be all. No one could tell me anything. I was the first NXT champ and I was part of The Shield. The leader you might say. We were insanely over for a debuting faction. In my head, I was untouchable. So I decided to stop shaking hands. I was almost future endeavored for it.”

I turned over and Seth did the same so that we were still on our respective sides of the bed but looking at each other as we hugged our pillows like they were people. “What happened?”

“One of the veterans complained to Management. I was hauled in to see Vince. I got a real dressing down. Including the threat of being fired.”

“Which veteran turned you in?”

“Big Show.”

“Not a man you want to piss off.”

“Not at all. I learned very quickly. I had to be humble and show the veterans deference.”

I groaned. “Puhleese. Seth Rollins humble. Get out.”

I smiled. Damn but it was easy to look at him laying there next to me. His hair all loose and wild on the soft pillow.His body half covered by the sheet, waiting for me to pull it back and explore his body.

“Well, respectful then.”

“You still think you’re The Man.”

Especially with the ladies, I said silently, in my head.

“Because I am. That’s who Seth Rollins is. The Man.”

“What makes him The Man?”

His voice was serious and deep. “He sees what he wants and he goes after it. He stops at nothing until its his.”

He looked at me with such intent I felt my nipples harden with arousal under the thin cotton of my nightshirt. I shifted my arm to cover my breasts.

I rolled my eyes, trying to turn off the intensity of the moment. “Including turning on his own brothers as a means to an end.”

“Including taking advantage of every opportunity afforded him.”

“Uh huh. Go to sleep, Seth Rollins, The Man.”

To that I got the hyena laugh.

“If I have to hear your cackling voice another second Seth, I will have nightmares.”

“Sweet dreams babe. Sweet dreams of my laugh. Ha haaaah.”

“Ugh.”

I turned over again, giving Seth my back before I made a fool of myself and tried to give him my body, which seemed to still foolishly yearn for him.

Seth turned out the light.

It took awhile to fall asleep. I could hear Seth breathing evenly. Of course the bastard fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

But that was unfair. He wrestled tonight and drove three hours. Although I could have driven if he didn’t have his insane rules. He could have rested while I took on that burden for him.

Annoying as Seth was with his rules, it was nice being with him. It was odd knowing that Seth was just an arm length away but I couldn’t touch him. He didn’t want me to touch him because he hated me. How had everything gone so wrong?

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed. A weird dream in which I was sandwiched between Seth and Finn who were both shirtless (hallelujah) and I was keeping them from a fight. They weren’t fighting over me but over a belt. I tried not to be disappointed about it.

Finally, in the dream, I convinced Seth to take a step back from the situation and he was soon distracted as we were making out on a couch. Where we were I had no idea. I wanted to say backstage at a arena but that also seemed wrong.

Anyway, next thing I know, in my dream I was snuggled up in Seth’s arms in bed after the show. Finn and his perfect abs had disappeared. I was alone with Seth all cuddled up and it was heavenly.

Then I woke up. The situation was not heavenly. Somehow, in the middle of the night I seemed to have journeyed over from my side of the bed and into Seth’s arms. Panic rose up inside me.

I was literally draped on top of him and his deliciously sexy, naked body. My head all snugly against his chest. I could feel it rise and fall in unison with his breaths. My hand was splayed over one of his pecs. My leg against the junction of his sex, my foot grazing the side of one of those sexy thighs. Seth’s arm was across my waist holding me in place.

Oh no. There was no way I could move from this position and not wake him. And when I did, Seth would be furious.

My pulse quickened. I was afraid to move even an inch. What was I going to do? I tried to shift my position a little and Seth stirred. My heart pounding loudly in my chest. He was still asleep. Thank goodness. I tried to move again. Lightly picking up the arm that was slung over me.

Seth stirred again, murmuring something about deadlifts. As he stirred, miraculously his arm fell away to the side, freeing me.

Hallelujah!

Gently, I extricated myself from my perilous position to escape back to my side of the bed.

I couldn’t fall back asleep so I just laid there, thankful for my escape. I survived the night and sharing a bed with a naked Seth Rollins.

In a little while Seth woke up. I learned something very important about the Kingslayer that morning. He is an absolute diva when it comes to bathroom time. I’ve never seen a man take so long in there. Most women would never take so long to get ready.

I teased him mercilessly about it, telling him that an entire sorority house could get ready quicker than him. And yet all he’d done was throw on basketball shorts, a t shirt, rumpled Tap Out hoodie and the backwards cap.

“Do you ever wear clothes that don’t make you look like a gym rat?”

“When I’m trying to impress a girl, yeah.”

I laughed. “You’re definitely not trying to impress me.”

He didn’t look at me. “Not for this charade of ours no.”

I tried not to show the hurt on my face. The punch to the gut his statement made.

He bent down to tie his sneakers. “But I can wear the hell out of a sharp black suit. I could even give one of your movie-star boyfriends a run for their money on a red carpet.”

I shook my head. “Hardly.”

A lie. He would be sexy in that suit. Powerful. Damn I would like to see that and then undress him slowly, piece by piece.

At breakfast Seth and I discussed the schedule for the day before going to the arena.

“Come to CrossFit with me.” He said it very innocently while he stole the last of my scrambled eggs.

I ignored his theft and finished my coffee. “No. I’m not joining your cult, CrossFit Jesus.”

“It’s fun,” he said in a sing song voice.

“No it’s not. It looks like hell. Besides you just want to show off how good you are at it and lord it over me since I’m a newbie. No thank you.”

Seth denied that as his reasoning and we left it at that. In the end I went to the gym with Sasha and heard the gossip about Bayley and Cesaro who couldn’t seem to keep away from each other. After our core exercises and core gossip, we headed to the arena together to spend an afternoon of prepping and filling time until the house show began.

The next few days fit the same pattern. Then the next thing I knew it was Monday afternoon and I was just hours away from debuting on Monday Night Raw. I still had no idea about how management wanted me to play my role until about thirty minutes before showtime.

I sat down with Janet again. As the head of women’s talent she told me how things would go and that there would be a surprise. I was told to be myself in this role tonight but very bubbly, and a goody too shoes who could also deliver a zinger or insult with a sweet smile. Seemed fun so I was fully on board. I left Janet and got dressed for the show.

I didn’t see much of Seth as he was busy working on new spots for tonight’s match. They had practiced a number of things at the house shows earlier this week but there were still little technical things now that there were cameras involved.

Seth and Dean’s feud with the Miz had ended and they were working on getting the tag belts from Cesaro and Sheamus.

I was in the first segment of the night. I was going to be on Miz TV again. The Miz with his Miztourage and Maryse were already in the ring. It was only said that a surprise guest was coming on the show.

I stood in the gorilla and took in a few nervous breaths. Then I felt a pair of arms slide around my waist and settle on my hips. Seth. I leaned back into his warmth, hoping I could somehow absorb his strength. He dropped a kiss on my bare shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, Princess,” he whispered in my ear.

The moniker made me want to cry. “You haven’t called me Princess since I joined you on the road. Just babe.”

“I know. Princess is for special occasions. This is a special occasion.”

“I’m nervous. What if they hate this idea? What if they hate me?” Seth couldn’t see it but I bit my lip. Probably ruining the lipstick the makeup artists carefully applied.

“Then you will have to go back to Hollywood and some blockbuster movie role where you’re painted blue to play an alien again.”

I gave a small chuckle at that.

“And you would be well rid of me Seth. Maybe you can throw a party to celebrate my leaving.”

Seth’s hands slid away at my words. Had I offended him?

He turned me around to face him but I couldn’t look up at him. So he tipped my chin up with his fingers, making me look him in the eye. He always did that when he knew I was avoiding him.

“Don’t say things like that Princess. It’s not true.”

I looked up at him. There was no mockery lined on his face. “Then you are an incredible actor.”

Seth couldn’t reply. I was called to make my entrance. There was one last glance at my makeup which was approved and then I was out the curtain and onto the ramp. The new General Manager of Raw had arrived.

The crowd was surprised I was the special guest but they cheered. Good. First hurdle down. The Miz gave a hell of a promo all about how I was a great individual who had come to personally apologize to him for helping Seth and Dean at my last visit. He did a whole bit about how we were both A-Listers and should show each other respect.

And that is where I had to set The Miz straight that I had not come to apologize, even to the great actor of those ‘little’ Marine movies he was so famous for. Maryse said nothing but looked highly offended.

The Miz went on about how he needed respect. I told him he should respect me especially considering my announcement.

And then I really let him have it. Telling him that he should respect me, especially since I am the new General Manager of Raw. The look on his face was priceless as was Bo and Curtis. The crowd was in shock but not in a bad way. Thank goodness.

And then the surprise entrance music hit. The rousing theme for Kurt which got the crowd chanting “you suck” in the loving fashion that only the WE universe can achieve. Kurt came out and said he was taking a sabbatical for a few months and confirmed I was the new GM. Oh it’s true. It’s damn true.

As I left the ring with Kurt, I stopped on the ramp and turned around to tell The Miz that with my first act as GM I was setting a match with him and Braun Strowman. A match that would start right now. Strowman’s music hit and he came out. He was all single minded focus on beating the Miz into a pulp. I gave a small smug smile (Seth would be proud) and then left.

When I came back through the curtain, Seth was there. He picked me up and whirled me around. “There’s my Princess General Manager. You were great. And you are so over. The WWE Universe loves you.”

I couldn’t conceal my joy at this. Being in Seth’s arms earlier and now this. His support made my heart feel full. But this was all for show wasn’t it? For the gossiping technicians and fellow Superstars so that it was obvious this relationship was the real thing.

I had several more segments with the Superstars who were all curious about how I became GM when I had no wrestling background. But right when I was about explain it, something always happened and the answer wasn’t given. It was a fun trick.

The last segment of the night occurred with Enzo and Big Cass. Enzo, all gaudy gold chains and clashing animal print clothing was going to ask for a shot at the tag team titles. I was supposed to announce the match for next week and it would end the show.

Only suddenly Cass left and Enzo kept talking about how glad he was that I was here. How he had been waiting for this moment. I looked around at the crew. I was confused. This was not in the script. The technicians looked confused but the cameras kept rolling. One of the assistants mouthed that we were still on air.

Seth came up out of nowhere snd stood beside me. Shirtless, white towel around his neck and hair slicked back. He looked ready to pounce on Enzo.

Enzo just kept speaking to me. “I’m glad you’re here alright because it fulfills a part of my contract.”

I wrinkled a brow. “What? What are you talking about?” My heart started bearing faster. What the hell was going on? Had Triple H played both Seth and me? I was about to find out.

Enzo pulled out a folded contract. He turned it around to show me.

“I’ve been waiting for this a long time. My contract says I get to date/marry the next female General Manager of Raw. And that my golden statuette goddess is you. You’re gonna ride the Enzo train (terrible collection of words which conjured all sorts of terrible images) and my best friend Cass and I are going to get our title shot.”He kept pointing at the contract.

I looked at it. The contract was real. Not some phony dummy contract with one line like what they use for contract signings on air.

“Oh hell no.” I couldn’t control the anger in my voice. “I’m not going to be in some fake relationship with you.”

Enzo soured quickly. “What you sayin’? That all this Italian Stallion goodness in front of yous is not good enough for a actress.”

The tension ratcheted up. Seth took a step forward. His face was warning Enzo wordless to stop or there would be consequences.

“Well, I’m not being unkind Enzo, but us together is ludicrous.”

Now I was mad. What the eff was this?“It’s ludicrous because Seth and I am dating.”

Enzo stamped his feet in that ridiculous shuffle of his. “Well break it off. As GM of Raw you have to honor the contract and date and or marry me.”

And that’s how Raw ended as the producers came down and there was chaos and discussion.

Seth was livid. His wide mouth a grim line. Shoulder set for confrontation. Even his stance was deliberate.

Oh God, please don’t let there be a fight.

Seth had no filter. “Enzo what the fuck is this?”

“My shot. I’m takin what’s mine. This was supposed to be my program and they just give it to you and her.”

I tried to diffuse the situation even though I was standing in back of Seth.

“Look Enzo this won’t work. Seth and I are dating. No one would believe I would just drop him and start dating you. It makes no sense when Seth is the man in my life right now.”

Seth took yet another step closer as did Enzo. My heart lurched. They were only a few steps apart now. Hearing of the argument, a number of Superstars and crew now turned up to watch.

“Nobody in this entire arena believes that your little fights and lovey dovey public displays of affection are real. We’re even betting on it.”

Enzo turned towards Alexa who looked ahead like it was no big deal. “So if you can fake it with him you can fake it with me. We can even make it real outside the ring. Ya know what I’m sayin’.”

Enzo looked me up and down. It made my skin crawl. “Oh my God. You sent the black roses didn’t you?”

“Damn right I did. I needed everyone to see that you were going to be my girl and black roses are the most expensive. I tried to get them to like make a leopard print rose but like science wise it’s not possible.”

Oh my goodness. This was crazy. This was chaos.

Enzo continued. “Look, you could use a new man who could give it to you good. We’ve all seen Seth’s photos online. Not very flattering. Not like the giant salamiI got waiting for you.”

I moved forward and took hold of Seth’s arm. I knew what was coming.

“Seth please don’t this,” I pleaded. “It’s not worth it. I’d never be with Enzo. Not professionally or personally.” At that Enzo went crazy, jumping up and down and pointing at me. “You’re insulting me. Like you’re a catch cause you’re a big movie-star. I’ve heard the rumors. You’re a freezer in bed.”

There was a audible gasp from our assembled audience. I could feel Seth tug out of my hold and lunged forward. His arm suddenly pulled back to gain the momentum for the punch he was going to land on Enzo, only Seth’s arm went back too far.

With a crack, I felt Seth’s fist hit my face. In shock, I stumbled, tripping over my own feet and falling backward. It all happened so quickly.

I felt my head connect with something sharp as I went down. Then the next thing I knew, everything went black. —

[faejilly]

@shadoedseptmbr replied to your post“so hey tumblr, guess what I figured out today Sounds of Silence is a...”

I had the same experience with DA2 and I cannot for the life of me explain it. Like...i know the streets, I know what the air feels like the farther you get from the docks. And I can't tell you why. I wonder if it's the art style...

I mean, part of it is I got involved in way more discussion for DA2 than anything else, but I don’t know how I got there either? It’s so odd. I miss discussing fandom things? It is fun and makes me happy and helps me feel like my brain isn’t dying.

Also I would like to fic for other things, they just don’t seem to cooperate as nicely.

@cherieofthedragons replied to your post“Hydrangea: what inspired you to begin writing in the first place?”

Ah, thank you for answering! Sorry I missed the first one. :)

No need to apologize, my dear, I hadn’t POSTED the first one by the time you asked yours. <3

@jadesabre301 replied to your post“I hate ants like, ok, I get in the tub this morning, and then a little...”

oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to all of that

senior year of college we somehow got ants in our fourth-floor dorm room and sprinkled nutrasweet on the floor to kill them

it was awful 

so many ants

oh god why’d I post an ant horror story I don’t want to know more ant horror stories D:

/kidding, I always want to hear your stories, if only so I can commiserate

I’m pretty sure they’re in our walls, honestly? MOVING SOUNDS BETTER EVERY DAY.

@atomicpen replied to your post“we’re house hunting, as previously mentioned and we went to an open...”

This entire area you pay more than houses are actually worth--renting OR mortgage tbh

truth. I’m pretty sure I could buy the whole BLOCK back in WI for what I’m paying for a house singular here. But it’s such a pretty one. :D

@thecalamityjess replied to your post“I hate ants like, ok, I get in the tub this morning, and then a little...”

ACKKK!!! What part of the country are you in? On the bright side, at least they weren't fire ants?

THAT IS VERY TRUE THANK YOU

and I am in MD, which is having a very buggy spring because we had an absurdly mild winter so a lot of things that usually die didn’t. *sighs*

@ameliacgormley replied to your post“I hate ants like, ok, I get in the tub this morning, and then a little...”

oh god you have my sympathy. We get fairly regular ant invasions and it drives me nuts. I will avoid the kitchen for days until Terro has a chance to do its job, and a couple times I've had to sleep on the sofa because they infested my bedside table.

NO

one time they somehow got into the car and were swarming on the driver's side floorboard. of course, i didn't know this and it was dark when i got into the car to go run an errand and halfway to the store i realized what that itching on my legs was and that my pant legs were swarming with ants as I was trying to drive. UGH

WHAT NO HOW IS THAT EVEN WORSE THAN THE LAST ONE

*shudders forever*

*pauses*

*still better than bedbugs*

*sighs*

@jadesabre301 replied to your post“@jadesabre301 replied to your post“@probablylostrightnow replied to...”

...no???

well then. maybe you should get an A/C tune-up this year? Might be a good idea. idk, ask @shadoedseptmbr, she was the one helping me adult, I don’t have a clue :D

@probablylostrightnow replied to your post“@probablylostrightnow replied to your post“@ameliacgormley replied to...”

Awwww. <3

*iloveyouguys.gif*

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Prologue 2: Regarding Dave Strider

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist. 

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Death mention, Heavily implied abuse, mentions of terrorist activity (courtesy of Bro Strider), Dave’s mental gymnastics hard at work; So Many Pesterlogs, Illustrated  

FIRST | NEXT 

4/13/2009

(Excerpt from a front page newspaper article)

ALTERNIAN EMBASSY UNDER ATTACK

The Alternian embassy in Austin, Texas suffered a bomb strike yesterday. Several casualties have been recorded. […] Several suspects were seen on video, but as of yet none have been arrested. The primary suspect is a man named Derek Strider. Strider was honored as a hero for his actions during the wars between Alternia and Earth. Strider is currently 33 years old, 6’5”, blonde, pale-skinned, frequently seen wearing an orange baseball cap and triangular sunglasses. Police ask anyone with any information on his whereabouts to please call…

08/05/2011

(Post made to a comedy blog maintained anonymously by one Dirk L.)

The Big Bi-Annual Serious Post(tm).  

Alright, guys. Sorry to be doing this again, but it’s the anniversary, and I’m fucking desperate. To everyone who’s new enough to this blog to have never witnessed my twice-yearly floundering tribute to futility, buckle the fuck up because we’re in for a wild ride.

Yeah, I know, “you were so cute as a child,” et cetera et cetera. Do me a favor and save the patronizing comments on this particular baby photo and instead turn your attention to the little boy on the left. His name is Dave. When this photo was taken, he was six years old; he’s currently a few months shy of thirteen. Assuming he’s still alive, anyway.

I haven’t seen him in six years. Six years ago today, our father came in the dead of night and kidnapped him.

It’s pretty clear at this point that the police have given up on finding him. I haven’t. I’d have to be a pretty shitty older brother to do that, but unfortunately, there’s not much I can do on my own.

All I’m asking is that if you have any word on him, if you know him, if you’ve seen him, if you ran into him in a fucking supermarket, anything at all, please, please tell me. It’s a long shot, I know, but, shit, maybe this weird fucking blog I run can do some good, right?

Let’s skip the usual fucking around, though. Like I said, it’s been six years. I assure you, none of you are the first one to think of the hilarious joke of leading me on and relentlessly fucking with me. It’s not funny, and I’m not in the mood.

Thanks.

(Chatlog from Pesterchum)

— ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 9:15 PM 08/05/2011 —

EB: hey, you’re the guy who runs that weird blog, right?

TT: I run a number of weird blogs. You’ll have to be more specific.

TT: I don’t post my handle on any of them anymore, though, so I’m a bit confused as to how you got it.

EB: got it from my sister! shes been following you for a little while and said you added her recently

EB: she’s gutsygumshoe!

EB: id message you through the actual blog but i mean i dont have a tumblr haha

TT: Ah, okay.

TT: GG’s pretty cool. Knowing she gave you my handle is at least reassuring in the sense that I don’t have to worry so much about who’s getting my contact info.

TT: Why so keen to talk to me, though? It doesn’t sound like you’ve much interest in the contents of the actual blog.

EB: nah its not a sense of humor i feel like i really get

EB: but thats not the point here its actually really important!

EB: see my sis was talking about that post you made today at dinner

EB: she felt really bad for you i guess but she showed it to me and i think i might know dave!

TT: Ah. We’re doing this, okay.

EB: ???

TT: I hope you’ll excuse me not leaping for joy.

TT: There’s been a lot of false alarms over the years. It’s hard to hope.

EB: i mean that might be for the best

EB: im really not sure myself but a lot of weird stuff matches up

EB: the kid in the picture does look a lot like the dave i know and the number of siblings matches up!

TT: Never said that the little girl was my sister.

EB: oh, isn’t she?

EB: that puts a bit of a damper on things if not, because the sister was something he was a lot more sure of.

TT: Um. What?

EB: i should start from the beginning here shouldnt i haha

EB: sorry im a little nervous! and dave isnt online right now because of course he isnt so i cant double check this stuff with him yet ugh

EB: hes like one of my best friends even though weve only met online

EB: the age matches up too! hes twelve right now and turns 13 in a few months

TT: Hm. A bit coincidental, sure, but Dave isn’t exactly a rare name.

EB: he looks a lot like your dave too though!

EB: here look at this

— ectoBiologist sent a file: socool.jpg —

TT: That is the shittiest photo I’ve ever seen.

EB: ugh yeah sorry

EB: he takes them bad on purpose, hes got a really weird sense of humor

EB: thats honestly the best one i have of him right now :(

TT: I can sort of see what you mean by there being a bit of a resemblance, though.

TT: If I squint and tilt my head really hard, I mean.

EB: yeah ok but i mean im still not at the really important part!

EB: see ive known for a while that he lives with his bro

EB: but like a couple weeks ago he told me something really weird!

TT: We’re pretty sure Dave was kidnapped by our father.

TT: I think I’d know if I was living with him.

EB: thats the thing though! his bro isnt actually his brother

EB: hes daves dad

EB: dave isnt sure why the guy makes him call him bro

EB: he told me though that he feels like he does actually have an older brother

EB: cant remember the older brothers name very well, he thinks it starts with a d?

EB: and he remembers having a sister too, and he was like.

EB: absolutely positive her name was rose

EB: wasn’t sure on her age though, he thought she must’ve been pretty close to his age

EB: but i mean if that girl in that photo isn’t your sister then that kinda throws all this right down the drain

TT: She is.

EB: what?

TT: She is my sister. I was…sorry, it was a reflex. I’m so used to people fucking with me over this, I said that to try and throw you off, but

TT: Fuck, my hands are shaking. I hope you’re serious here.

EB: is all that stuff right then??

TT: Her name’s Rose, and she is our sister, and my name does start with a D.

TT: Is there anything else about him that you can tell me that might help identify him?

EB: um

EB: oh! his birthday’s december 3rd!

TT: I

TT: Jesus Christ

EB: :D

EB: ah fuck there he is hold on

EB: asshole finally got online

EB: im gonna show him that post

TT: I

TT: Yeah, you should

TT: Do that.

TT: I’m

TT: Fuck.

EB: oh my god he is rambling up a storm

EB: ive never seen him this excited gosh

EB: do you wanna talk to him? i can give you his handle

TT: Jesus fucking Christ of course I want to talk to him.

TT: Please.

TT: Fuck.

EB: turntechgodhead!

EB: i gave him yours too

EB: you still there dude?

EB: oh i guess you’re probably talking to him now huh haha

— timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:23 PM 08/05/2011 —

TT: Dave?

TG: holy shit

TG: holy shit holy shit i thought i fucking dreamed it all holy shit

TG: im trying to sort all this shit but its all so fucking vague

TG: rose is real though right

TT: She is. You and she are twins.

TG: holy fuck

TG: holy shit im a twin holy fuck

TG: and you too holy shit

TG: i cant fucking remember your name though i dont know whats going on with that

TG: like my brain just decided to pick random details to remember about you all

TG: roses name? sure

TG: the fact that were fucking twins? nope

TG: older brother exists? yeah sure that can stay

TG: his name? hell no

TG: was it dick please tell me its not dick i will throw myself out the fucking window

TT: Dirk, actually.

TG: FUCK

TG: thank fuck im not crazy you guys actually exist jfc

TT: Are you okay?

TG: im the okayest motherfucker this side of the milky way

TG: the fucking siblings i thought i dreamed up actually exists and im talking to one of them

TG: im like if okay took a physical form and that form was the coolest dude who ever fuckin existed

TG: okaying all the fuck over the place

TG: why are you asking thats a weird thing to ask

TT: No, I mean.

TT: Are you…safe, I guess?

TG: uh yeah i guess

TG: this particular motel room doesnt strike me as the cleanest but i mean at least theres no bedbugs this time

TT: You’re in a motel?

TG: yeah weve been moving around a lot lately

TT: I’d imagine so.

TT: According to the news, the old man’s been pretty busy lately.

TG: yyyyyeah

TG: i dont know whats up with that

TG: i mean i know the trolls fuckin invaded us or whatever but i was like a year old when that shit ended

TG: i dunno why he hates them so much

TG: im sure hes got his reasons maybe its all for the best but i kinda want nothing to do with that shit

TT: So you’re not involved in that stuff?

TG: i kinda get the feeling hes building up to dragging me into it but not yet no

TT: Where are you?

TG: didnt get the name of the town but i assume were still in texas

TG: thats where weve been as long as i can remember

TG: excluding the shit i remember from being with you guys

TG: like i guess that might be in texas but the memories dont feel like texas

TG: its a little too you know

TG: not the suns blistering steaming asshole

TG: i mean jesus its fuckin hot here all the time and i swear i have memories of not being miserable from the sun trying to roast us all alive

TT: We’re in upstate New York, actually.

TG: holy shit really

TT: Yeah.

TT: You got really mad once when you found out that there is no literal big apple.

TG: the fuck do you mean once im still pissed

TG: god damn big apple youd expect a place like that to specialize in fuckin aj but no its just a stupid nickname

TG: city of fuckin lies is what it is

TT: Jesus Christ.

TG: sorry except im not

TG: i take my aj fuckin seriously

TT: No, I just

TT: It’s really you, Christ.

TT: This is happening. I’m talking to my baby brother for the first time in six years, and he’s still dorkishly addicted to apple juice.

TG: fuck you aj is the nectar of the gods

TG: shit i gotta go bros back

TT: What? Why?

TG: ill be in touch when i can

TG: bro doesnt want me talking to people online anymore and im not particularly thrilled at the prospect of a strife tonight

TG: see you around

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 9:47 PM 08/05/2011 —

TT: Wait, Dave!

TT: Shit.

— timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:15 PM 08/05/2011 —

TT: Thank you.

EB: :B

— timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:16 PM 08/05/2011 —

08/06/2011

— tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:25 AM 08/06/2011 —

TT: Dave, it’s Rose.

— turntechGodhead is offline! —

TT: Thank you, Pesterchum, for confirming the obvious.

TT: I just wanted to make sure you had my contact information as well.

TT: Dirk said he spoke to you yesterday, and I will confess that I am almost afraid to believe him.

TT: It almost hurts to hope, as cliche as that is to say.

TT: But if it’s true, and this really is you, I look forward to at least being able to talk to you again.

— tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:30 AM 08/06/2011 —

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:14 PM 08/06/2011 —

TG: rose holy shit

TG: ok first off lets talk about that fucking username

TG: what the fuck rose

TG: what the actual fuck

TT: Well, there goes any doubt as to your identity I might have had.

TG: the fucks that supposed to mean

TT: I suppose it means that I’ve missed you.

TT: This feels so surreal. Six years with you gone, and here we are, talking.

TT: And you’re the same as ever, somehow.

TG: excuse me im not the one going on the internet as some octopus in a shrink suit

TG: tentacletherapist what the actual fuck

TT: What kind of name is turntechGodhead, then?

TG: a fuckin awesome one is what

TT: Truly, it demonstrates both your nobility and your humility.

TG: you bet your ass it does

TG: the humblest fuckin guy to ever shock the fuckin world with his sick beats

TG: ill rap you under the table and be super not braggy about it

TG: sounds like a fuckin paradox but im just fuckin cool enough to pull it off

TG: be makin people drop like flies with my dope rhymes

TG: everyone be trippin over this sick beat

TG: some guy at the clubs monocle just popped out and socked him in the face

TG: like hey loser why arent you that fuckin awesome and modest

TT: I’m sorry, there’s a man in a suit and a monocle at this hypothetical club?

TG: well it wasnt a club to start with

TG: just some fancy dudes all bein posh and shit

TG: but i walked in and its a fuckin party now

TG: i didnt even have to start rappin i just set foot in the place and it all lights the fuck up

TG: glowsticks are popping into existence to get the rave going and half the posh dudes immediately start fuckin grinding

TG: and im like yo i only wanted to grab one of your weird sandwiches and leave but yall gotta be like this

TG: cant a guy just go somewhere without the party starting on me

TT: How dreadful it must be, to be such a majestic being!

TG: its a curse i must bear

TG: heavy is the crown

TT: I’m sorry to change the subject to something very strange, but I have an odd favor to ask.

TG: yeah shoot

TT: Your friend, John, provided one of your “ironic selfies” to Dirk to try and confirm your identity to him.

TT: Would it be possible to get one with the irony turned down a few notches?

TT: And possibly minus the shades?

TG: woah what why

TT: It’s…

TT: Our mother misses you too, Dave. She’s been devastated ever since we lost you.

TG: oh

TT: I think it would do her some good to at least know what you look like, now.

TT: The only existing pictures of you we have are so old.

TG: yeah

TG: yeah i can do that hold up

— turntechGodhead sent a file: boringasfuckselfie.jpg —

TT: Thank you.

TT: Here’s a recent picture of myself and Dirk, by the by.

TT: Fair trade.

— tentacleTherapist sent a file: EquallyBoring.jpg —

TG: well shit

TG: dirks hair somehow got even more bullshit anime

TG: i thought i was definitely fucking imagining that part but nope

TT: It is pretty bullshit.

TT: He goes through a lot of hair gel.

TG: hahahaha

TG: rose

TG: rose hey rose

TT: I’m still here, Dave. What is it?

TG: rose were twins

TT: We are, yes.

TG: im still fucking losing it over that okay

TG: bro never fuckin talks about you guys and he got mad at me for asking too much years back so i stopped

TG: but i swear ive always had this feeling like i definitely wasnt an only child and i remembered you strongest

TG: dont tell dirk that but i did

TG: its like

TG: i was so sure i musta dreamed you guys up but youre real and i have a twin im a fuckin twin rose

TT: While I can’t completely relate, as our mother never made any secret of your existence and Dirk remembered you quite clearly, I can at least connect to the surrealism of this experience.

TT: I’m almost afraid I’m going to wake up and be left bereft.

TG: fuck i wanna keep talking but bros gonna be home any minute

TT: Do you need to sign off for the night?

TG: yeah

TG: dont wanna get in trouble

TG: i am pretty much directly disobeying him right now

TT: Any idea when you’ll  be able to get online next?

TG: no

TG: ill talk to you whenever im on though

TT: Take care.

TG: you too

TG: miss you like hell

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:25 PM 08/06/2011 —

12/03/2011

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:45 PM 12/03/2011 —

— TG sent TT a file: happyfuckignbIRTH.gif —

TT: The sentiment is appreciated, but you’re a day early.

TG: what

TG: but

TG: were twins

TG: its my birthday

TT: Yes, well.

TT: You managed to claw your way into the world thirteen minutes before I did.

TT: And as it just so happens, that thirteen minute period straddled the chiming of midnight.

TT: As such, your birthday is technically the day before mine.

TG: wait im the older twin

TG: holy shit i didnt see that coming

TT: I don’t see how it matters very much.

TG: now listen here you whippersnapper

TT: Hush.

TG: as much as id love to lord it up i really cant talk much

TG: im pretty much just droppin that file and running

TT: Well, before you go.

TT: I’ve no such masterpiece prepared, myself, but.

TT: I hope you’ve had a happy birthday.

TG: eh its been alright i guess

TG: enjoy your early present you lucky motherfucker i gotta go

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:47 PM 12/03/2011 —

12/15/2011

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:29 PM 12/15/2011 —

TG: dirk

TG: dude are you there it says youre online but im pretty sure its like

TG: after midnight where you are

TT: About half an hour before, actually.

TG: thank fuck

TT: What’s up?

TG: remember how i said back when we first talked that bro wasnt making me tag along with his fuckin

TG: weird bullshit fight the trolls business

TT: Has that changed?

TG: he made me help him yesterday

TG: im still fuckin shaking i dont know what to do

TG: im sure hes got whatever reasons for doing this shit but i cant

TG: he killed some of them dirk

TG: i watched people die yesterday i dont know what to do

TG: i dont wanna fuckin hurt anyone even if they are aliens

TT: We need to get you the fuck out of there.

TT: Is there any way you can get away from him? I can look up bus schedules, or, shit, hit up the blogs and see if anyone can drive you up here.

TG: dude no

TG: im freakin out but i cant fuckin abandon him hes still family

TT: Dave, he kidnapped you. You realize that, right?

TG: what

TT: He has no legal custody over you.

TG: hes my dad though

TT: He’s a man with no legal rights to your care, who is now actively forcing you to participate in acts of incredible violence against an entire group of people.

TT: That’s fucked up, even if they did technically invade us, once.

TG: dude no its

TG: im fine i just needed to talk to someone and rose is offline

TT: She’s asleep.

TT: I’m not budging on this, though.

TT: You need to get the fuck out of there. He’s going to get you killed.

TG: i can protect my fuckin self thanks

TG: i dont wanna kill anyone but that doesnt mean i cant fight fuck you

TT: That’s not what I meant.

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:57 PM 12/15/2011 —

05/15/2012

— turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 9:13 PM 05/14/2012 —

TG: hey are you awake

GG: :o

GG: i think i should be asking you that mr night owl!

GG: isnt it like three in the morning where you are?

TG: sleep is for the weak

TG: and for weird girls with medical conditions i guess

GG: hehe

GG: what have you even been up to lately? i havent heard from you in like a week and you talk to me super late!

TG: yeah sorry bros had me busy

TG: doing

TG: stuff

TG: you know what lets not talk about that

TG: as you pointed out it is the asscrack of the morning out here

TG: if im gonna be awake anyway im not spending it talking about that bullshit

GG: has he been running you ragged again? thats awful!

TG: alright fuck well i guess we are talking about it

TG: hes not

TG: putting me at the front of things anymore thank fuck

TG: i think he just gave up on trying to make me do some of the really intense shit at least for now

TG: but hes still expecting me to do shit behind the scenes

TG: cut power

TG: sneak in and unlock doors

TG: shit like that

TG: and hes been watching me like a fuckin hawk i havent been able to get online at all until now so thats why ive been absent

GG: :(

GG: well im glad to hear from you even if it is really late!

TG: yeah

TG: ass o clock or not its nice to fuckin

TG: just talk to someone for a while

TG: dunno why bros gotta be such an asshole i mean i know hes paranoid about us getting caught but its not like the police are gonna have any fuckin idea my shitty pesterchum account is related to the stuff hes doing

TG: like fuck off dude let me talk to my friends

GG: yeah!! >:B

TG: so hey on this latest mission i saw a dude in a fursuit and thought of you

TG: theres no conventions going on right now that im aware of or anything he just decided he was gonna walk around in a fucking animal suit

TG: was the most surreal thing i saw today

TG: and i literally see aliens on a pretty regular fucking basis so thats saying a lot

GG: pfft!

GG: dave i told you i have no interest in fursuits

TG: yeah i know youre too hardcore furry to be able to settle for something like that

TG: you weirdo

GG: says the guy who collects dead things

TG: shut up my dead shit collection is certified off the wall amazing

TG: had an expert in awesome things come by and personally give me the certificate

TG: showed up and went holy shit

TG: thats a rad ass collection of dead shit

TG: heres your certificate let me grovel at your feet

TG: let me bow before its magnificence

GG: lol dave

GG: it is pretty awesome but it is weird too!

GG: the two are not mutually exclusive silly

GG: …dave?

GG: it says you’ve been typing for like twenty minutes now :o

—turntechGodhead [TG] is an idle chum! —

GG: dave??

GG: are you okay?

GG: did you fall asleep?

GG: thats really cute if you did but you need to be careful!

GG: your bros gonna be really mad if he catches you talking to me

GG: …….he didnt catch you did he?

GG: dave?????

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 10:25 PM 05/14/2012 —

GG: oh no

— turntechGodhead [TG] is offline! —

GG: D:

06/23/2012

—timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 3:17 PM 06/23/2012 —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: EB1.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: socool.jpg —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Dirk1.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Dirk2.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Dirk3.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose1.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: boringasfuckselfie.jpg —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: EquallyBoring.jpg —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose2.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose3.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose4.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose5.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/Rose6.txt —

— timaeusTestified sent a file: TG/GG1.txt —

TT: There’s everything Rose and I have been able to scrounge up between the two of us, plus gardenGnostic’s last conversation with him.

TT: She was the last person to talk to him.

TT: EB and GG are both going to see if they have any other logs saved with him. I can send them to you, or they can send them directly.

TT: They might have more than me or Rose. They’ve both known Dave since he was ten, apparently.

GC: 4LR1GHT

GC: G1V3 M3 4 B1T TO R34D THROUGH TH3S3

GC: 1M GO1NG TO H4V3 TO H4V3 MY COMPUT3R GUY GO 1NTO YOUR 4CCOUNTS TO V3R1FY TH4T TH3S3 4R3 L3G1T

TT: That’s fine.

TT: I mean, I can’t speak for GG or EB, but I don’t have a problem with it.

TT: Are you going to be able to get at the existing police files on him?

TT: This whole business with the old man meant that we couldn’t get the police to take any of this stuff when it was going on. They just said that there was nothing they could do.

TT: Out of their hands, they said.

TT: And apparently the people whose hands it was in didn’t particularly care about Dave’s involvement.

GC: Y34H, MOST OF TH3 TROLLS UP 4T TH3 TOP WH3N 1T COM3S TO 1NT3RSP3C13S CR1M1N4L PROC33D1NGS DONT R34LLY G3T YOUR W31RD HUM4N F4M1LY UN1TS

GC: OR HOW S3R1OUSLY YOU GUYS T4K3 PROT3CT1NG YOUR YOUNG

GC: 1 M34N 1 DONT R34LLY G3T 1T 31TH3R

GC: 1T DO3SNT M4K3 MUCH S3NS3 TO M3

GC: BUT 4T L34ST 1 K33P 1N M1ND TH4T 1T 1S 4CTU4LLY 4 TH1NG

GC: 1 M34N G33Z

GC: SOM3ON3 H3R3 N33DS TO B3 CULTUR4LLY S3NS1T1V3

GC: 4LL JOK1NG 4SID3

GC: DONT YOU WORRY 1 W1LL F1ND 4 W4Y TO G3T 4T THOS3 F1L3S WH3TH3R TH3 H1GH3R UPS W4NT M3 TO OR NOT >:]

TT: Sounds like the legends are true, then.

GC: L3G3NDS?

TT: Word on the street is that you’re something of a bloodhound.

TT: That you don’t give up on a case you’ve taken, no matter how little you have to work with or how bad it gets.

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

TT: That’s why I brought this to you.

TT: Everyone else has given up on Dave, it seems.

TT: You’re the best hope we’ve got of finding him, at this point. Thank you for that, by the way.

GC: 1 M34N

GC: DONT G3T M3 WRONG, YOU BROUGHT M3 1NTO TH1S FOR A SP3C1F1C PURPOS3 4ND 1 1NT3ND TO S33 TH4T PURPOS3 THROUGH

GC: BUT MY PR1M4RY GO4L H3R3 IS TO G3T MY B1G BR34K

GC: TH1S 1S 4 R34LLY GOOD 4NGL3 TO H4V3 ON TH3 STR1D3R C4SE

GC: 4ND 1 4M CR4CK1NG 1T OP3N 4ND M4K1NG MY M4RK

TT: Yeah, I know.

TT: I’m not under any sort of illusions here. You’ve got your own ulterior motives for taking this case, especially considering we’re basically paying you on the combined allowances of two literal children.

TT: That doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the first person outside our family to put serious effort into finding Dave in a long time.

TT: Ulterior motives or not,

TT: That’s a really big deal to us.

TT: So, again: Thank you.

GC: >:]

GC: 4LR1GHT TH4TS 3NOUGH B31NG S4PPY

GC: 1 GOT 4 JOB TO DO

GC: 1 W1LL TRY TO K33P YOU POSTED

— gallowsCallibrator [GC] ceased trolling timaeusTestified [TT] —

[anyu-blue]

Personal

[fuckimbrilliant]

No one reads my blog anyways so FUCK IT I LOVE FILLING THESE THINGS OUT

Some real creepy shit, get your fix. 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? My momma, yeah I hope so. 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? Sure would 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time Very recently ? 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yes duh 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Ya 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Noooo 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? I've got my banana boxers and one arm in a sweater bc I was too lazy to take it all the way off 8. How often do you listen to music? Errday 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? Jeans 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? Probs not 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? Anti social anti religion anti police and anti system 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? No 13. What about ‘R’? No 14. Can you drive a stick shift? No 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Honestly yes 16. Are you going out of town soon? Maybe 17. When was the last time you cried? I try and try but I haven't cried in ages 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Not for realz 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? No 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? lol no wtf 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Today is shit 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Idk maybe 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? No 24. What are you sitting on right now? Laying on this dumb mattress I'm lucky I don't have bedbugs 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? No 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Ya 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? I neva went to bed last night 28. Do you get a lot of colds? No 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? My mom 30. Does anyone hate you? Oooo 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? Actually yee but they're not hidden they on display 32. Do you like watching scary movies? If they're good 33. Do you want your tongue pierced? GOT IT 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2013 35. Did you have a dream last night? I didn't sleep last night 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? My mom yesterday 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Ugh 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Yes 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? It was p gloom doom 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? No 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Yeah? 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? No 44. What’s the best part about school? Art class 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? What 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? Totes 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yes 48. Were you single over the last summer? Ya 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Na 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Nuttin 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Yes 52. Are you nice to everyone? I shouldn't be not everyone deserves it 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Ye 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Who knows man 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Yes 56. Do you think you like someone? Sure 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? No 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? This is dumb 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? No 60. Do you hate anyone? Ya 61. How’s your heart? Sad and weak 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Nah 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Fam 65. Are your toenails painted pink? No 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Probably 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? Yes I love to harvest the boy tears to power my death ray 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Yeah actually 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Mom 70. How do you look right now? Like DEATH 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? Nooo 72. Can you commit to one person? Nah 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? No 74. Have you ever felt replaced? Yeah 75. Did you wake up cranky? I didn't wake up 76. Are you a jealous person? No 77. Are relationships ever worth it? Idk 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Yes 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? No 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Chores UGH 81. Last person you cried in front of? I don't REMEMBER 82. Is there someone you will never forget Probs 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? 🙃 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Idk maybe sleeping 85. Are you over your past? Ya see ya 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Mmhm 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? NO 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? N/A 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? What no 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Yee 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? 😯 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? Ya 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? Nope 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? No 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Wut 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Ya 97. Who do you have texts from? Coworker and friend 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Go for it 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes 😖 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? Mr Tree aw 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? No I don't even like fireworks 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Yeahhhh