#Twitterpated talks Tumblr posts

[cyberdragoninfinity]

me last year: i think it'd be funny if dennis and yuri had a little gay thing going on

me after hearing these dennis duel links voicelines: OH OK SO DENNIS WAS IN LOVE WITH YURI. OK.

[rhikasa]

Asher’s response to Elias kissing him for the first time whilst the two of them are caught up in a dangerous predicament they might not return from:

Elias’ response to Asher returning the gesture once they are out of harm’s way:

[avas-wonderland]

I reduced my husband to a blushy mess and it’s adorable!

[expirednukacola]

ORANGE COLORED SKY 🏜️ || Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader

𐚁⊹₊ ⋆☆

My first fic about this bonafide work of ART! AKA The one and only, Cooper Howard / The Ghoul. This MAN has everyone lined up to get a taste so I am here to deliver! This is also a little surprise for @lexiway121!!! Reader is fem and in her mid-ish - late-ish 20s in this fic! This will also be a two part fic!! ..Maybe even more. SUMMARY: reader is little miss janey’s babysitter (cooper is going to need all the help he can get ESPECIALLY DURING A DIVORCE) and reader was invited to the kids birthday party (seen in the beginning of ep 1) as cooper’s plus two just to keep an extra eye on janey and the horse/sugarfoot. everything was nice until.. FLASH! BAM! ALAKAZAM!

chapter 1.5 : here!

og gif made by: @lousolversons !!

“Flash! Bam! Alakazam!”

“Out of an orange colored sky!”

The birthday party was going perfectly! You and Janey were standing somewhat near Cooper as he did his lasso tricks on his beloved horse, Sugarfoot. The birthday boy, alongside with his plethora of friends, were all staring and gasping in awe as the cowpoke twirled the lasso up and down to where he was inside of the spinning circle of rope. Cooper noticed their precious, little reactions and smiled back at his audience, a tender yet low chuckle escaping his throat.

Seeing how happy he looked and smiled as well, your cheeks became a tad bit blushed.. definitely from the L.A. heat — and that’s when Janey looked up at her and noticed how you, her babysitter, were smiling at her dad.. “Twitterpated..” -Was what the seven year old mumbled under her breath; she really needed to slow her roll on asking her dad what certain words meant. You, on the other hand, didn’t quite hear what Janey mumbled so you jokingly decided to peep out a little, “What was that, sweetie?” and all you got in response was an “innocent” little “Nothiiiiiiiing!”

After a few minutes of continuing his lasso show, Cooper got off his trusty stead and adjusted Sugarfoot’s saddle with such care while Janey rushed over to try and help her father. “Alright, birthday boy,” The cowboy said while looking at the VERY excited kid, “Let’s get a photo of ya up here on Sugarfoot.” As Cooper picked up the boy to place him on the horse while his daughter held onto the reigns, the birthday boy’s dad and his buddy, aka Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dipshit, start talking about Cooper Howard.

“Why the hell is Cooper Howard workin’ kids’ birthday parties?” The dad’s friend muttered as he held onto a bottle of some pretty cheap beer, and the dad responded with the most embarrassing answer known to man, “What else? Alimony.” The asshole said nonchalantly before he went back to nursing his shitty bottle of beer. That made Cooper whip his head around to look at the father with his mouth slightly agape, flabbergasted he would even bring that shit up at his kid’s party. To make things worse, sweet Janey popped up and asked the billion dollar question.. “What did they say, dad?”

Cooper looked down at his precious little angel with a quiet yet warm voice, “That I’m lucky to have such a good helper like you.” Poor, innocent Janey didn’t know what was going on between her Dad and Momma. All she knew was that she would have some very long weekends with her Momma and her Grandma and then she would go back to stay with her tired Dad.

Knowing what Cooper was going through and hearing those horrible words come out of that assholes mouth, you glared at the boy’s father so hard that he could fucking feel it. The dad looked back at you and rolled his eyes, pointing at you while muttering, “Some people say he cheated on his wife with his kid’s babysitter.” That was the last fucking straw and you wanted to smack the living daylights out of him. “Are you fucking kidding me, you goddamn pig-” You muttered but Janey quickly grabbed onto your hand with that same sweet smile she always had.

The anger that boiled inside of your body slowly began to simmer down into nothingness as you moved out of the way so the dad (AKA the head honcho of being an asshole) could take a photo of his son on top of the horse with Cooper standing next to him and little Janey holding onto the reigns, “All right- You ready?” The dad positioned the camera and even though the kid had a smile that was brighter than the 4th of July, the cowboy’s smile seemed.. off. Usually, Cooper would have these sweet dimples on either side of his mouth when he would smile real big for photos or when his daughter would do something extraordinary.. But those dimples weren’t there for these pictures.

Click!

After the photo was taken, the cowpoke carefully lifted up the giddy child from the saddle on Sugarfoot to the soft and lush green grass beneath them. Cooper was just about to check up on you and his daughter, but- “Hey, honey- Honey! Get with Cooper. Let’s get a picture.” -Mayor Asshat of Assville motioned the man to stand next to his wife. Though Cooper was a little awkward about the whole ordeal, he quickly posed up next to the wife and had that fake smile on his face once more.

Click!

“Aw- Coop, Coop, Coop! Do your thumbs-up.” The jerkwad ordered and right as you were about to intervene, Cooper (sorta) stood his ground and quickly responded with, “..Yeah, you know, given the state of everything, I prefer not to, if that’s all right.” But guess what? Señor Shit-for-brains wasn’t having it because being an asshole was in his damn genes. “Why not?” asked Count Fuckhead-ula, “It’s what you’re famous for.” he added right after but his wife, the one with common sense in the relationship, told “Bob” to drop it.

“We- uh.. We gotta get this rodeo on the road.” Cooper said with his head tilted slightly downwards towards the vibrant green grass beneath his worn leather boots while the boy’s mother handed him a check. Quickly, you grabbed onto the reigns that hung from Sugarfoot’s neck and clicked your tongue to get the horse to start walking. “..Well that was just fuckin’ lovely, huh Sugar?” Muttering solemnly under your breath, you walked alongside the sweet stead, tying the beautiful horse up to a tree so it wouldn’t run loose.

A good 5 minutes roll on by like a tumbleweed and You were walking around with Cooper by your side.. while the two of you were picking up giblets of trash left behind by some kids and adults. “I never thought that I was going to be doing this at a kid’s birthday party, Mr. Howard. Picking up trash after people is not what I had planned.” You stood back up after having to bend over to pick up an empty bottle of orange flavored Nuka Cola. “Oh yeah? What did you have planned, missy?” Cooper looked over at you with one of his eyebrows raised up and a smirk growing on his lips.. those gorgeous lips alongside those beautiful hazel eyes- “Uhhh- I don’t know? Maybe mingle with some of the parents and swipe myself a piece of cake. I heard it was chocolate cake.” A little smile grew on your face but your blooming happiness all went to waste when you saw “Bob the Shit Talker” staring at both of you through the window.

“But for a grown ass man to talk shit about us with his lil buddy and then having us pick up trash left by him and his guests was definitely not on my list.” You angrily sneered at the man who continued to glare at you two through the window before letting out a loud and deep sigh. Cooper, God bless this sweet man’s soul, quickly stood up and looked at you. “He did.. what? I knew he was talking shit about me but he and Mr. Clean were talking about you? ..Fuck- It was that rumor again, huh?”

The sweet-hearted cowboy looked up at the sky as if he were silently praying to God himself to smite down that piece of shit before he looked over at your slightly blushed to make sure you weren’t boo-hooing over something that wasn’t even true. He knew you didn’t have to answer him because the look of embarrassment on your face was all he needed to know.. but at least you weren’t crying.

After a few minutes of some much needed silence, you both made your way back to Janey, who was eyeing that delicious chocolate cake as she wrapped her own little lasso around her hand. You saw how Janey was looking at that cake.. and you started to look at the cake the same way the little girl was staring at that frosted piece of heaven.

“Why didn’t you do it?” Janey’s words snapped you out of your hungered staring contest with the cake. You looked down at the little girl that was looking at her father, who was now crouched down next to her. “The thumbs-up.” Oh shit.. She just accidentally busted open a huge ass can of Marine flashbacks for Cooper. At first, he tried to make her forget about it by telling her it was “grown up business” but those sweet, sweet eyes of hers were just too much for his heart to handle.

You crouched down next to the girl and gently placed a hand on her upper back, gently rubbing your thumb against the material of her button up’s collar. “Honey.. The reason why your dad doesn’t like having his thumb up is because-” Your words were cut off from Cooper clearing his throat and placing a hand on your shoulder, immediately making you shut up so he could be the one to explain it to his daughter. The older man explained what they taught him when he was in the Marines to his daughter, telling her that he and his fellow marines would hold up their thumbs whenever a bomb would drop. If the cloud of smoke was smaller than their thumbs, they had to run for the hills.. and if the cloud was larger than their thumbs, they wouldn’t even have to worry about running.

“..Who wants some cake?” You chirped out awkwardly while standing up, brushing your hands against your top before placing them on your hips. Janey’s eyes immediately lit up with absolute joy from the thought of having a slice of cake, and she quickly nodded her head with her hands clasped together. “I’ll see if I can snag you girls a couple o’ pieces, ‘kay?” The infamous cowboy stood up as well and walked inside of the house and you decided to join him to grab your own slice of heaven.

FLASH!

Once Cooper grabbed his daughter a slice and you grabbed your own, you two rejoined his little angel once more but instead of seeing her sweet smile shining brightly on her face, you were both met with her holding up her thumb and a horrified look on her face. Her body was trembling, her bottom lip was quivering, her eyes were tearing up, and when she spoke, she sounded like she was looking Death itself straight in the eyes..

“Is it your thumb or mine?”

…

“It’s just a fire..”

You could hear the dread in his voice and the sound of her little heart pounding against her ribcage as you followed their gazes to a.. large cloud of smoke and destruction. Your own heart start to rapidly beat profusely inside your body and your eyes widened in terror as a wave of radiation started coming your way. Everything felt as if it were in slow motion as you and Cooper both decided to crouch down to clutch Janey close to your bodies to shield her from any harm.

As the wave finally passed through, the glass windows shattered into millions of shards varying from large pieces to microscopic fragments and felt one of the medium sized pieces plunge itself into the side of your calf. “Oh GOD!!” A horrifying shriek of pain found its way from out of your body as Cooper quickly scooped both you and his daughter up in his arms, quickly running towards his much needed horse, Sugarfoot.

BAM!

Dread pulses throughout your body while your eyes darted across the scene around you — Parents with their sons and daughters in their arms, people running around aimlessly like ants after a menace of a child stepped on their nest, and the screams and cries of frightened young children wanting to go home. You’re pulled out of your frightened state when Cooper tried to push you up on Sugarfoot after he placed his daughter up on the saddle. “Cooper.. Cooper! No!! Get Janey out of here! You have to get her out of here!!” You pushed yourself away from him and stumbled back, your limp leg giving its all to keep you somewhat supported.

“Y/N- Get on the damn horse! I can’t just leave you here!” He tried to pull you back towards him but you limped back away from him once more. “You need to get her out of here, Coop.. Please.” Tears welled up in your eyes and they fell down your cheeks when they became too heavy for your eyes to hold. “Please.. Go- Get out of here!!” You pushed him away and back towards the horse, and you swore you saw him shed a lone tear.

As more bombs fell from the sky, you watched in grief as your beloved cowboy hop on his horse and grabbed on the reigns, immediately whipping them a little to signal Sugarfoot to get the fuck out of there — away from the chaos and away from the horror.. away from you. You dropped to your knees as you bawled your pretty little eyes until there were no more tears to shed.. and when you heard the faint whistle of a bomb dropping nearby.

ALAKAZAM!

This was the end, you thought. The end of the world, the end of your life, and the end of everything and everyone that you loved.. and the beginning of a new age: The beginning of a nuclear fallout. As you kneeled down on the green grass that was way too vibrant to be real, you tilted your head upwards and looked towards the sky, smiling one last time before your skin began to burn, your insides feeling as if they were being cooked at a thousand degrees, your voice becoming rasped and broken as you screamed in complete and utter agony. You took your final breath of irradiated air underneath that hideous orange colored sky.

THE END ..?

—————

thank you so much for reading the first chapter of Orange Colored Sky! i hope you liked it as much as i did and i hope you can excuse the.. nicknames i gave “bob” at the beginning (he deserved it though! he was an asshole for absolutely no reason.)

TAG LIST: @lexiway121

[auspicioustidings]

Does this orc romance journey mean we might get orc 141 and reader thoughts???

See now I think the way the 141 lures in a nice human woman to fuck would be that not all of them are orcs.

Ghost and Soap are and they are mean looking fuckers. Ghost is covered in battle scars and is just unimaginably huge, Soap is so clearly a warrior with how his hair is shaved at the side with the top braided in a fighter's style.

But Price is a rough yet regal looking human man, the kind that is contracted to act as a guard for nice, noble women. Elven Gaz had thought it would be how they'd find a woman for all of them, that one of these nobles would take Price's eye and they could steal her away. After all he may enjoy how rough his three companions are, but part of him still misses a gentler touch, a more feminine energy to balance it all out.

It is not a noble woman in the end. There is one Price thinks to test, to introduce to his orcs. He doesn't love her, but she certainly is pretty to look at and perhaps the haughty arrogance might please his elf (it would not, Gaz is not much like his kin in taste).

Imagine Soap's surprise when he goes to grab this woman as Price is making a show of fighting off Ghost to see her reaction and he ends up with a knitting needle jammed into his side by her quiet mouse of a ladies maid. He is in love just from that, even as Ghost drags him away so Price can look the conquering hero he is twitterpated entirely, holding the bleeding wound in his side in a lovers caress.

Price pays attention to this maid afterwards having never truly looked her way before. He finds her clever, witty and scrappy as all hell. She is not the delicate beauty of her mistress but he comes to find his heart starts to race at the sight of her anyway. He discovers she grew up the eldest of 10 children to a poor family and that this position was one she clawed her way up to in order to support them as best she could. She makes such a good ladies maid because she can more or less do everything. It's her resourcefulness he falls for, how any task she is given she will find a way to deliver and not expect praise or adulation.

Gaz can't help but be curious when Price talks about her and decides to verify these claims, visiting the family home to find she was truthful. Her younger siblings are fascinated by his ears while her parents try to do their best to be worthy hosts of a visiting elf. They are crude peasants, their hovel small and messy and the food they serve not fit for even the lowest elf. But somehow he cannot help but feel such a pang of warmth from how they treat him like family even though he is only a stranger who was passing by and asked for shelter. He does not need to meet the girl to fall in love with her, he only needs to hear how her family talks about her.

It drives Ghost into a foul mood as the months go on and all his mates can fucking talk about is some useless human girl. He never wanted a woman with them, was rather hoping they'd get over this notion eventually. He means to ruin her, breaking into her room by cover of night and holding her to the bed while he undoes his trousers. He tries to shove himself down her throat and she damn near bites his prick off. Bloody mouthed and scowling she fights her fear and will not submit as he assumed she would so easily. He barks at her about how he will bloody her cunt with his now bloody cock. He does not in the end, only because he falls for her the moment she barks back that she will bite his bloody cock clean off even while he can scent the flood of arousal between her legs from the idea of him taking her. He decides then that he will have this human woman only when she begs for him and he will do whatever he damn well must to make that happen.

[stoneagedevil]

Idiot | Eddie Munson x f!Reader

TW/CW: loneliness.

———

You’d been feeling down about yourself for some time now. You weren’t a cheerleader, but lately you’d been considering attending the tryouts for the semester. You’d even heard that girls in the band’s flute section were getting action from the brass section. Maybe you could pick up another instrument…?

No. No no no.

Christ, when did you become so desperate? Maybe it was all the twitterpated faces floating up and down the halls, what with the dance approaching and all.

But it’s not even like you wanted to go. You weren’t much of a dancer, but rather a person to get rowdy on stage at the Hideout when you played. That led to other thoughts…

You’d met Eddie Munson at the beginning of summer a few years ago. You were enthralled with his performance in his band Corroded Coffin, and he was just as lovestruck when he saw you go up with one of the most badass electric guitars he’d ever seen. After your set, you’d both gotten to talking at the bar - him buying you each a soda since you both had to drive home. That was the start of a wonderful friendship.

And unfortunately for your poor little heart, that’s all it was.

You sighed, taking a drag off a cig you found in your jeans you didn’t remember washing. Thank god for that. You looked over at the cheerleaders on the field practicing their routine from where you sat on the outside bleachers; trying to picture yourself in a cheer outfit mingling with them.

Suddenly you were startled by a loud, thundering metal sound coming from your right, nearly pulling your neck at the speed you looked over. It was Eddie - who just jumped onto the metal bleachers to illicit a reaction from his favorite person.

“Shit yourself?” He laughed, smile making his eye crinkle.

“Har har Munson.” You blew smoke at his face smirking slightly. He waved it away playfully.

“Watcha doin’ up here? Thought I’d find you in the art room, but you weren’t there.” He sat closely beside you.

You flicked the dead ash from the end of your cigarette. “Feelin’ melancholy I ‘spose…” you trailed off, leaning back on the seat behind you and looking up at the sky. Eddie quickly joined you.

“Why’re you sad? Need something stronger than that ciggy?” He reached into his inside pocket on his jacket and dug out a joint.

You eyed it for a second. “Nah. I’d better not.”

Eddie frowned. It wasn’t like you to turn down his premo stuff. It wasn’t like you to isolate yourself - especially away from him. He got nervous.

“Hey, what’s going on? You know you can talk to me, right?” He placed a hand on your knee, causing those stupid butterflies to flutter around in your stomach.

You debated a lot of things in that moment. You debated telling him you were in love with him. You debated shooting up from your position on the bleachers and pulling his face towards yours and kissing him. You debated running away, never to be seen or heard from again.

You took none of these options.

“I’m lonely, I guess. It’s hard seeing people get asked out to dances all of the time knowing that’s never coming to me. I wouldn’t even wanna go, but maybe if someone asked…I would? I don’t know. It’s stupid.” You sat up and looked down at your shoes.

Eddie looked at the side of your face. Maybe if he was brave enough he’d ask. Maybe if he was wealthy enough and you’d said yes, he’d get a suit and get you a corsage. Maybe if he wasn’t the town freak. Maybe in another life.

Maybe.

“Hey, it’s not dumb. I know how you feel. I’ve only really ever been asked out as a joke. But someone will come around and see how absolutely amazing and badass you are. Seriously.” He said this instead, even though it made his throat tighten at the tail end of his sentence.

You looked at him, and he let go of a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding captive. Your eyes swam with doubt, slightly damp.

“Eddie. I’m the freakette. Anyone who would ask me out is probably an idiot.” You said, somberly.

Suddenly, Eddie’s hand disappeared from its place on your knee, Eddie himself bolting up from the bleachers. “Hey! I know I’m a repeat but I’m not an idiot!” He said, sounding genuinely upset.

You paused, realization smacking you both upside the head. “You…you what?”

The color of Eddie’s face would make traffic stop. Fuck. Maybe he is an idiot. “I said that…that uh-“ his hands flew over his eyes, “that I’m not an idiot but now I’m thinkin’ I am because I’m pretty sure I just ruined the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Your heart sped up in your chest, your face blushing. “You…like me?”

Eddie, hands still covering his embarrassment, sighed. “I mean, like you? No. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you when we met. Christ. Look-“ he removed his hands from his face, instead wringing them together, “if you give me time then maybe I could get over it. We can pretend this never happened, I just- I just need you in my life, whatever way that looks like.” His eyes looked down at his shoes now.

You shook your head, mouth agape at what you were hearing. You debated a lot of things in that moment. Then, you went with the best option.

You stood, walking calmly towards him, taking his burning face in your cold hands and lifted it. He looked down at you, shocked, and slightly scared. Definitely nervous.

You leaned in and kissed him then, him returning the favor. Once separated, you backed up, “Eddie, I don’t want you to get over me.”

His smile looked like it’d break his face in half, “Good. Because I was totally lying about my ability to get over you. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible.” You laughed and he joined, happy to have made you smile. “I know it isn’t a big dance proposal, but, would you wanna go out? With me?” He had to specify. He just had to.

“Id love to go out with my favorite idiot.” You smiled cheekily. Eddie burst out into laughter, picking you up and hugging you tightly.

“If I can be your idiot, then an idiot I’ll be.” He declared, kissing you once more.

———

Thanks for reading, I’ve been in a slump lately, so I hope this was good.

[dracobrooklyn]

Durge Headcannon #2

|| MDNI || 18+

Durge's relationship towards the other Party Members If you don't know, this is about if Cannon Durge was a Companion instead of a playable character. These are my headcannons so not everything is cannon. If you want more Durge check this Masterlist here

also the Tav!Reader is in a Fem!POV

CW: threesome, murder, and killing.

Durge very much is in love with Tav!Reader, after connecting with you, how kind and patient you are with the White Dragonborn. He very much loves the way you comfort him, how you talk to him almost anything that comes to your mind, he loves listening to your voice. So How does he feel about the other Members of your party around you? And around him?

Astarion

Safe to Say Durge isn't a huge fan of Astarion. The pale elf being very much cocky, arrogant, and never gives you any respect. Durge glares maybe even curls a lip growling softly. He could care less about what happens to the elf. Even when he found out he is a vampire! He quickly get's over protective over you, a slave to Sanguine. He wasn't gonna let you get bitten by this coward. If Astarion tries to flirt with you, Durge comes up from behind you protective. Besides Durge want's you, he be a better match than Astarion. He actually cares about you, this vampire just wants you as a blood bag that's all. Even when you and Durge become a couple, and Astarion offers to join you both in a threesome, Durge would flat out say no, end of story, he rather smear Knoll shit onto his face than let Astarion share the same bed roll with you. He's fine with you and Astarion being friends but... if Astarion tries to pull something on you, Durge won't hesitate to beat the shit out of him... maybe kill him if he get's away with it.

Shadowheart

He does not mind the half elf girl, the cleric that isn't too bad around you. She does at least give you some sort of respect as an ally and maybe even a friend. Shadowheart might be one of the few people that maybe notices Durges feelings towards you. She even was amused with the idea but even questioned, how would a DragonBorn be like in a relationship. Though Durge is a strange one, especially when he has no memories of his past. She might even be protective of you the reader if she finds out what Durge has done hurting and killing their enemies. The way he does it, if it's over the top. Shadowheart will confront Durge about it. She be weary of him and tell you if she is not sure if Durge can be trusted.

Karlach

Durge actually likes Karlach. Despite her very positive upbeat attitude. He does like her, she treats with you respect, is kind to you, and does not talk down to you. I like to think Karlach kinda finds Durge attractive. Being a DragonBorn and all, she may even might notice Durges smitten face when he looks at you in love. Like a love sick puppy. She smile and comes up from behind him giving him a good slap on the back and say "twitterpated aren't we solider?" causing Durge to trip on his words blushing trying to change the subject while she has a shit eating grin showing her sharp teeth. She might even try to hook you two up. Maybe... maybe even join in the sex action. Durge might actually consider it... if she didn't burn you both. He would say yes as long you were okay with it of course if you were interested. But if Karlach (like Shadowheart) finds out what kind of things Durge did. Oh boy oh boy, consider the friendship bracelet gone. She would get in between you and Durge glaring at him burning with anger. (no pun intended)

Lae'Zel

Heh uh... she may like Durge because of his blood thirsty fight in battle. And he may appercaite that... but if she calls you weak and useless because you are not as battle hungry as she is. Durge will snarl. Step right up to her and speak up. "I will you not have you speak so lowly of her, she's the one that got you out of that trap, she's the one that saved the druids grove with our help, she is the one keeping the peace between all of us, you should thank her, because I would have ripped your arm off." causing the Githyanki woman to narrow her eyes at him. She might tsk at him or making the last retort walking away from him. Durge won't interact with Lae'zel unless he really has to. But if she threatens to hurt you, he will not hesitate to rip her apart. Oh if she even tries to seduce Durge, he will lean so close to her face in a low whisper "Even if you and were the only ones in this plain of existence, I would rather be a mindflayer than share a bedroll with you." And honestly that might hurt her a little but she won't show it of course. Durge heart is only to you, and only you.

Wyll

Would they be dude bros? Maybe? Durge does not mind Wyll at all. The man has honor, he's protective, he treat you with respect and that's what Matters to Durge. Though if he does come a little close towards you, Durge makes a look at him as if "nu uh, mine." Wyll would get the message though. Like Karlach he might even help Durge hook up with you. Give Durge advice what to say but most importantly Wyll will just tell Durge to be himself. Yeah which one? Durge also would also feel bad for Wyll with his mishap being a warlock and all. Durge would definitely spit down at Mizora feet just to stand up for Wyll. Fuck that bitch honestly.

Gale

Funny guy... stop flirting with my girlfriend don't you already have a lover? Durge very much has mixed feelings with this guy. He can be useful but when he learns that he needs to eat magic items to live or else he will explode and die? WHAT? Why the hell is he with party again? Oh cause he's infected too. When he learns about how his lover is goddess, I mean yeah he must think she is pretty-- oh she's actually a goddess. Oh... poor chap. He definitely would be a little jealous that Durge has you instead of him, but he would give Durge advice to "Seduce" a woman. Durge not sure if they would work... maybe one night he will use that advice. Maybe... eh. But Durge wouldn't pity Gale for doing that to himself where he explode not given enough magic items to eat. Also ticks Durge off cause he finds an item he can use to kill enemies and then Gale looks at him as if saying "for me?" while Durge growls wanting to roll his eyes in the back of his head pissed and just hands it to him. Also Wizards vs Sorcerer. Mortals enemies for life (no just kidding). But Gale will boast about being better than Durge when it comes to magic causing the DragonBorn to give Gale a side glance glare. "At least I was born with magic and don't have to kill myself for it." Durge would say causing Gale to frown.

[hatchetfield-omegaverse]

Hello! I'm curious, are there any HCs of Omega Max x Alpha Grace? 👀

I think you'll like what I have in store.

Hatchetfield Omegaverse Headcanons: Alpha Grace x Omega Max!!

Ngl, Grace would have such an easier time as an Alpha than as an Omega. I mean she still has a lot of trauma to work through, but she'd at least know her second gender her whole life, instead of finding out when she presented and being completely unprepared.

Max on the other hand, would have a hellish home life. His dad is a bitch as is, now imagine how much worse it would be if his son was an Omega.

Move aside Lords in Black, meet the new biggest secret in Hatchetfield: Max Jägerman is an Omega!

Honestly, everyone would probably be really accepting of it if they knew, hell I would bet money he's not the only Omega on the football team, but he's got so much baggage that he truly believes that his life would be ruined if it got out.

He definitely projects his own issues onto other male omegas at his school and bullies them extra hard because of it.

It definitely takes Max a while to admit that he's an Omega to Grace when they get together.

When she finds out she gives some speech about how he's perfect the way he is; it's very Christian in nature but it helps Max so we'll call it a win.

Max definitely feels like a CEO Christian (Christmas and Easter only) but Grace is determined to change that.

Max is a food thief and always steals snacks from Grace. She's taken to packing things just for him.

When they first get together, Grace is still trying to figure out her feelings when it comes to sex, so Max takes the lead.

But as she becomes more comfortable with the idea, she is definitely very dominant. Max for his part, is really into watching her take control.

She pegs him.

I do not care if she has a penis. She is pegging him.

Actually I have a lot of logic for this: I could see Grace feeling conflicted between wanting sex and wanting to save her virginity for marriage. A strap would be the best of both worlds.

As for Max, it would take time for him to unlearn the self hatred he was taught growing up enough to be into the idea of being fucked.

Max has a reputation as king of dirty talk around school. In reality, that's a front he uses to seem more macho.

He's still very good at dirty talk, don't get me wrong, but when flirting with someone he really likes (i.e. Grace) he sounds more like a twitterpated school boy.

The real king of dirty talk is Ruth.

I hope you like these hcs, @lady-loveluck . And if you have a request, don't resist to send in an ask!

[twitterpated-passion]

Not a Short | A.N.

Ayo, different post, but I'm here to advertise my books. I have two, indie published, but that's 'cause I couldn't be damned with an actual big name publishing company and agent(unless...).

One is YA in every sense of the matter other than some consistent swearing, which, in my opinion, pushed it up to NA. The second is fully NA/A and 18+, as it has exactly two(2) smut scenes. Descriptions are under the break.

To: Him: YA/NA

My first book after many scrapped ideas. I published this at 16 and self admittedly, it's obvious.

It's a childhood friends turned roommates to lovers slice of life. Definitely a preference choice, if you like a relatively quick read that has absolutely no high stakes, and no doubt about a happy ending, this one is for you.

Tyler and Sage are freshly out of college and still learning how to be relatively good adults, paying bills, taking care of themselves, etc etc. There's just one little thing, both of them are hopelessly into each other, much to the annoyance of their mutual best friend, Aiko, because of how oblivious they are to their own best friend's feelings. The story takes place during a week, showing what the two twenty-one year olds go through during a daily basis leading up to their town's pride event. Unsure about whether to confess their feelings, Aiko convinces the both of them to do so. But are they gonna? Or are they going to back out at the last minute like the times before?

Dad's (Dead) Best Friend: NA/A

My second book, obviously. I published this one this year actually, so it's brand new and ready to read.

Sticking to what I've already done, this has a taste of slice of life, but with a purpose: Finding out what happened to Joan Langdon, the MMC of the book. It's a Dad's Best Friend romance, but with a Corpse Bride esque twist. Keeping to my monsterfucker roots, I went with a zombie x human murder mystery romance with a guaranteed HEA.

Twenty-nine year old freelance editor, Seraphina Horial, doesn't really get out much, living in the shadows of her successful parents and often forcing herself to become a workaholic to pay the bills. Her father's best friend, Joan Langdon, disappeared five years ago without a trace, only to come back into Seraphina's life by climbing out from under a tree in the park. Too exhausted to consider it something straight from a horror movie, she brings him back to her loft close to the edge of the city she lives in, and vows on finding what happened to him, much to his constant disapproval. But when the two get closer to each other, learning things about the other they were never able to talk about when he was alive, Seraphina gets closer to the answer in Joan's case. But what will happen when she finds out what really happened to Joan.

If any of these interested you, consider checking it out in the link in my Writer's Card(Beacons). They're available in Amazon and Barnes & Noble, priced the same, and available with Kindle Unlimited. So if you stayed this long, take a few seconds to at least check it out. I'd appreciate it, even if you don't get anything.

[chaos0pikachu]

so I saw a post that was like “which NC were better kinnporsche or love in the air” and it made me think about sex scenes in BL/GL in general right, so like I know everyone jokes about kinnporsche being the “fuck nasty” show and like it is but it’s also closer to erotica than smut which is what love in the air leans more towards. now before ppl get all twitterpated and shit calm down i’m NOT saying lita is “bad” b/c it’s smutty. smut in general has a bad reputation b/c America is a puritanical society and most smut based romance media (like novels and film) are geared towards women but smut as a sub-genre of romance isn’t inherently a bad thing it’s just A Thing 

my point is there’s a scale when it comes to NC scenes that I’ve noticed especially in more recent years, you have shows that lean more towards erotica - sexually explicit, but also with a focus on sensuality and passion -  and other shows that are like, let’s go to pound town and have fun with it. Both are 100% valid, I don’t think either is “better” than the other they can coexist not everything is a competition

here’s a visual example of what I’m talking about: 

forgive how messy my bisexual graph is but on one end you have Kinnporsche which are on the extreme end of Erotica: there’s nudity, and clear explicit sexual activities happening but there’s also an emphasis on passion, sensuality and emotion. 

Take the infamous handjob scene in KP, yes they fucking nasty in Vegas bathroom rip Vegas taking those L’s but also there’s a focus on the line of Porsche’s waistline, there’s the close up of their faces as they find ecstasy, and the scene doesn’t end in climax but in an embrace with the camera lingering on their emotions. 

In comparison to something like, LITA where the sex is much more straightforward (but no less good or whatever! again this isn’t a competition!!! both work and both are valid) there’s not a LACK of passion in LITA it’s just presented in a more straightforward manner. 

You could argue that the real different between erotica and smut is how pretentious you wanna be and I implore y’all to argue that b/c I love seeing literary ppl get cranky lmaoooooo

Then you have shows like Big Dragon, contains nudity and the music etc it’s going for erotica - personally don’t think it fully accomplished that goal due to editing but it tried! - similarly Moonlight Chicken went for a more erotic and sensually route but kept it very, very tame so it leans more towards that middle section which is like, there’s the acknowledgement of sex happening but that’s kinda it. It’s acknowledged, Dean wants to bone Pharm, Pharm’s shy about it, they bone but it’s extremely non-explicit (which is ALSO fine again no competitions here) meanwhile on the other end of the scale you have shows that lean more towards smut, tharntype falls into this while it’s not nearly as explicit as Check Out or LITA it has That Vibe like if Mame was allowed and if MewGulf were down it probably would’ve been more explicit but overall it was just really horny. 

I forgot to add Cutie Pie into the mix to which I woulda put it probably between UWMA and Moonlight Chicken, it also goes for a more sensual route but keeps things extremely tame in terms of presentation. Like yeah there’s tongue kissing but the energy is pretty tame

anyways

[thenamesblurrito]

Buzzard and Blurr are so cute :) really endearing ans sorta sweet, hope things work out well with em

Im really curious about the twos relationship. Do you have any thoughts you could share behind their dynamic and how they end up getting together? Or headcanons?

Keep up the good work! :D

THANK YOU ANON YOU MADE MY DAY!!!

i will be honest i would also like to know how they get together bc they are uhhhhhh both bad at this whole romantic thing! like i talk about here, they're both bumbling, inexperienced, and having a rude awakening to the concept of demisexuality, so as far as i can tell there is no end in sight to the mutual pining idiots. there's some possibilities but nothing concrete yet

they're a fun ship but first and foremost they are a funNY ship and the funny bits to me are in the pre-get together stage so that's what i think of the most. so! have some tidbits! this is a long post oops but i am NOT putting it under a cut i am making everyone LOOK AT SELF INDULGENCE RAAAGHH I AM KILLING CRINGE!!!

Blurr met Buzzard after being painstakingly transferred to a new, kitbashed frame and having a weird tall stranger show him the trash cube that used to be him with far too much enthusiasm. Buzzard was the one to fish that cube out of the trash as they went spelunking in Cybertron's waste disposal system as Team Purple were on planet to pull off a pet heist (and got more than they bargained for). once everyone realized the cube was a person and was ALIVE, they were also the one to uhhhhhh procure most of the pieces of his new frame, constructed by Knock-out in a back alley deal on Velocitron. Blurr is uncomfortable with how piecemeal and janky this frame is, despite being a close reconstruction of his original, and it takes him a long time to truly realize that Buzzard donated, bought, or outright stole 90% of the parts needed to bring him, a stranger, back to life. it's an odd feeling, to suddenly reckon with the concept that maybe there's more to this junker than picking pockets and being silly

it takes awhile for either of them to really pay attention to the other? like, Blurr has essentially pulled a Jesus, and also maybe unwillingly defected from the Autobots, and is currently "trapped" with a team full of criminals and Decepticons, one of whom was a spy that he spent so long tracking down and got thiiiiiiiis close to discovering her true identity before Longarm sent him off to Earth, so he's understandably got a grudge the size of a planet against Rosanna who is happy to taunt him about it, NOT TO MENTION the awkward, vulnerable, and painful physical therapy of getting used to this new frame and trying to regain his speed and just... being alive again?? sure, Buzzard is tall and weird, but they are the least of his worries in his early days with Team Purple

to be fair, like. for months the only real impression Blurr has of Buzzard is just:

infinite storage booba

that and "tall flightframe with purple parts but NOT a Decepticon???? not even an enemy????" it's something he's still coming to terms with. Gremlin consistently seeking him out to nap on is not helping

it may be easy to assume that Buzzard, having been brought to life by an Allspark shard on Earth, is young and ignorant and stupid and may not even know what love is etc etc. however, they were mentored by the whirlwind romance duo Rum-maj and Wreck-gar, both very invested and also very forthcoming about their own relationship. Buzzard is pretty knowledgeable about what love/romance/sexuality can look like, just from observing them and others around them! no, the mutual pining idiocy isn't from ignorance, it's just twitterpated stupidity 👍

this goes against popular fanon interpretation of Blurr i think, but i like to characterize him as the kind of hypercompetent-but-lame guy who's married to his work, doesn't bother with social skills beyond bare minimum, and isn't so much arrogant/full of himself as he is just impatient and dismissive. he's like a working breed dog. you might think he's hot but he would rather skip an offer of a one night stand in favor of following up on a potential lead or staking out a target's home all night. so Blurr's experience and general overall INTEREST in romance is nil

the fact i have slapped asexuality onto both of them just means they're both extra unprepared to Experience Feelings

it's slow! Buzzard thinks this guy is funny, and kind of sad, and though they never say this they think he could use a friend who won't get impatient with his own frustration. he knows a lot of stuff about Cybertron and Autobots and such that they've never heard before and he can be prompted to give entire lectures about anything, which they soak up, they love learning. Blurr is only mostly irritated by Buzzard being affable, and curious, and dropping odd knickknacks and riffraff into his hands whenever they feel like it. they don't roll their optics or look lost when he gets talking like many people do, and usually even manage to keep up with what he's saying. it's toleration at least!

he doesn't realize it, but it's really the least stressful/antagonistic connection he has with Team Purple so far. Rosanna was a target he was cheated out of uncovering and holds it over his head, Dreadringer is the mysterious captain of this dangerous gang who seems to want to toss everyone out the airlock, Wheelie was an old friend but seeing him so comfortable around these strangers is almost more offputting, Red Alert may be an Autobot but she's also the doctor seeing to his recovery which is hardly pleasant, the multiple Decepticons aboard keep him on edge even if they're nice to him like Voidwander, there's so many utterly absurdly strange people like Necro, or Wreck-gar, or Inferno, or Sky Lynx, or even Beachcomber, etc....

in comparison, Buzzard ends up filling almost a Kronk role to his Yzma as Blurr eventually feels comfortable ranting to them, or relaxing around them, or even skedaddling behind them for protection whenever Shenanigans occur. they're nice to him. it's weird. but it's still one of the biggest reasons why Blurr starts to acclimate to Team Purple, and even start considering himself one of them. without their positive influence, he wouldn't have dealt well with famous Team Purple tidbits like Tito Moto's funeral, Bludgeon deciding to start an official pirate rivalry, Dreadringer's delusions of interning with a god, Crescent's livestreaming career, or The Oil Slick Incident

Buzzard just thinks Blurr is fascinating to be around, in a much nicer way than when he was paranoid and scared of the rest of the team. now he's fitting in! in some corner of their mind, they think of him as another part of the hoard they call a family :3

maybe letting two obsession-prone people who only make friends with other weirdos spend a lot of time around one another was always going to end in a weird tangle of emotions, huh?

now this is of course Buzzard's Iconic Demi Moment, but Blurr has one too:

i firmly believe it's a hallmark- no, a REQUIREMENT that to be an Autobot in TFA you must be repressed. these guys are all touch-starved and alienated from their own wants and needs in favor of serving The Regime. so good luck Blurr you're gonna need it

Buzzard meanwhile is literally scared they're gonna pluck out Blurr's spleen. they keep wanting to be around him, and watch him, and touch him, all of which is normal sure but this is a lot so clearly their subconscious has marked him as a trinket to steal

attempts to explain otherwise generally do not go well

so they just. fail at communicating. they fail at communicating so bad the entire ship knows. even Rosanna gives Blurr tips on flirting. even Gremlin, Buzzard's dearest friend in the world, is giving them the stink-eye for idiocy. they are both still friends, they gravitate towards one another and get invested in what the other enjoys and work well together and just keep growing closer as time goes on, but the awkward, helpless stupidity of Oh My God Feelings turns it into a comedy show for the rest of Team Purple

maybe if Blurr could stop flipping out about the right thing to say and do and be and and and-- then he would relax enough, be confident enough to do something so bold as hold Buzzard's hand. maybe if Buzzard could stop worrying that their preoccupation with him is scary, or unwelcome, or unnatural, or going to upset his place in the team or as their friend, then they would stop feeling dread and start experiencing the joy and giddiness of romance, how it can be a treat for both of them

it's a lot of shenanigans. chicanery. silly falling over one another to just do something nice for the other but not quite knowing how. but they're both earnest. they enjoy one another. they keep coming back to one another

they'll get there eventually. i'll noodle something that fits

fingers crossed

i mean they have to get there eventually or this image won't be canon and i spent a lot of effort figuring out overlapping posing and kibble angles >:(

anyways. i'll leave u with this silly little ship meme (can u believe this image was gonna be my only response til i decided to defy cringe and infodump)

[tinky-dinky]

So I've dived headfirst into a Les Mis obssession. Not quite sure how that happened, but here it is.

Anyways, I was listening to the songs whilst on my walk and started thinking during Red and Black.

So Marius comes it all twitterpated, and Enjolras tells him to knock it off because the revolution is most important, right? Then Marius is like 'Enjy, my dude, haven't you ever been in love?' (...paraphasing slightly) and Enjolras says no, I love nothing but revolution.

But what if, later, he has a little freak out. Because what Marius described, how it feels to be in love, well, that's how he feels about Grantaire. Could he be...is he in love with Grantaire?

And whichever Ami he's talking to, probably Courfeyrac or Combeferre, just goes 'Yes. The two of you have been argue-flirting for weeks. Please, for the love of democracy, just kiss him already!'.

Just. Enjolras being so oblivious that he doesn't know he is in love with Grantaire. And the person who makes him realise this is bumbling, somewhat daft Marius. Who is promptly hailed as Les Amis' new saviour, for ending the weeks of UST laced argue-flirting.

Little do they know that arguing is now Enjoltaire's foreplay, and the Amis have to scarper at the end of every meeting lest they get an eyeful.

[hypocriticalspicewrites]

🦇Just some Fruitbats thoughts...🍒

Thinking about how the boys wouldn't be able to keep their hands off of Chrysta while she's pregnant 🙈

🦇Marko is setting stuff on her baby bump when it's big enough. Just to tease her. For example, if she's lying down, he'll put some takeout on her belly while he looks for his chopsticks or fork. Or he sets his funnelcakes on her bump so he can win her a prize from one of the games at the boardwalk.

🍒All of them completely twitterpated during her times when she was still human in pregnancy and going ham on some strawberries and watermelon, staining her blouse and mouth in red juice that looked slightly similar to blood.

🦇David is crazy about her in maternity jeans. He loves them in her just as much as he would on the floor of the cave-

🍒Dwayne offers her massages when her feet hurt and feel swollen, or her back hurts from standing too much.

🦇Those little moments when she has that glow, they're all completely SMITTEN. 🥺

🍒Helping her take showers since she can't reach her back or legs anymore. (Bonus points if while they're crouched or on their knees, they give her belly a kiss AUGH)

🦇Dwayne all over her pretty little stretch marks and extra chub, he thinks her mama body suits her beautifully...

🍒Paul having full blown conversations with her belly for some pillow talk or just spending a night in with his mate. Not talking to her. Her belly. He is going on a rant and feels a kick to his head or hand and be like, "THATS WHAT IM SAYING!"

🦇Marko is trying to make her giggle cause he likes the way her body bounces with her laughter - he just thinks it's darling.

🍒David thinks he is the shit cause he got her pregnant twice. Man is still smug about it to this day.

🦇Dwayne likes singing or humming songs his mother had used to sing him, rocking Chrysta in his arms or later on, covered in a bunch of sleeping baby vampires. 🥺

🍒She's not very tall, and if the boys (mostly Dwayne and Paul) hold stuff she needs over her head, she can't reach it- she can't even hop with the extra weight and how stubby she feels. 😭

🦇But their not as bad as David. At least they give it back to her. No, David will drop it on the floor and watch her struggle to pick it up, just so he can get a good look at her ass. Marko does the same, except he tries to get a peek at her bewbs. 👀

🍒LATE DAY ADVENTURES TO THE STORE FOR CRAVINGS FOOD WITH THE EMERSONS 🙏

🦇Both David and Dwayne LOVE pregnancy sex, but both for VERY different reasons. 👁👁

🍒Mannnny nights spent trying to convince their girl who is in hysterics that she isn't fat now that she can't fit into her size 3 jeans. 🤦‍♀️

🦇"Can I touch your boobs?" "No." "Can I suck ur titties?" "No." "Can I have some milk?" "No." "Can I touch yo-" "YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET SMACKED WITH THIS PUMP IF YOU KEEP ASKING"

🍒Baordwalk nights don't last long. Cause half the time, she's smelling booze or cigarette smoke and finding the nearest bathroom or trashcan. She cannot STOMACH strong smells - including blood. So, no kisses for the boys until they've cleaned up.

🦇Just touching her when she has hot flashes. They're naturally pretty cold dudes, so they just put a hand on her back or tummy and rub soothing circles till it'd over, or fan her.

🍒She will forever hate Dwayne and Paul for having so much hair and making her go through 9 months of heartburn TWICE/j

... Did give her super cute babies with a bunch of hair, tho.

🦇Omg if they could appear on film, they'd do sooo many stupid/funny maternity photos of her. The only one they have is snapped by Lucy, when she was still human, and doing some laundry at the Emersons, and she could barely fit through the doorway due to her tummy. 🩷

[mellimagicsblog]

"Yes, it could even happen to YOU!" - Friend Owl (Disney's Bambi)

I think most modern viewers of Bambi don't watch past the scene where the mother dies, which is a shame, because once Bambi grows up, the story gets a lot more action and humor (unlike the book, which just gets bleaker and trippier). I talk to so many people who have no idea whether Bambi, Thumper, and Flower are males or females, but does that really matter -at least for Flower?

With a film that has such little dialogue, it's not surprising that Flower never refers to themself besides "I," and that those times Flower is assigned, it's only by other characters. With the "dandy" role that is not seen in contemporary films and Flower's natural non-binary color scheme, they still make a great gender fluid/n-pal Disney character. It's also funny that Flower is the first to get "twitterpated" while being such a queer icon. (Flower's mate is named Petunia, by the way)

Oh dear, I've said gay. Guess Florida will have to ban Bambi soon. I'm sure that'll go as well for them as it did for Germany when they tried it. 😘

Non-binary colors = 💛🤍💜🖤

Genderfluid colors = 💗🤍💜🖤💙

[mrfeenysmustache]

Long Awaited Twitterpated

Summary: Inuyasha works at a plant nursery, the first day of spring is the busiest, noisiest, SMELLIEST day of the whole year. But it’s also the day SHE comes, the sweetest smelling blossom that had ever bloomed. Kagome.

Read on: AO3

——————————preview——————————

She was back.

First day of spring always meant the same two things: Inuyasha would spend the majority of the day with a raging headache as he put out all the new brightly flowering arrivals on the display tables, and Kagome, the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, would arrive with some bozo to spend a small fortune on plants in every size, shape and shade.

That wasn’t the only time she’d show up.

Once a week she’d waltz in, sometimes alone, sometimes with that guy who absolutely didn’t deserve her with his big stupid smiles and floppy hair, and buy plants, and she’d buy plants until they finally shut down for the cold season.

She was all smiles and sweetness, and none of it ever seemed forced or fake, even when she was talking speaking to him, the grumpy, tattooed Hanyo that most people avoided while he kept himself isolated in a corner to water parched pants or rearrange pots.

She smelled sweeter than any of the flowering annuals with none of the itchy pollen, and her eyes sparkled with such genuine kindness it might have made him sick if it didn’t make him so damn giddy.

For the three years he’d worked at this little shop, he’d secretly looked forward to this day from the moment they sold their last chrysanthemum in the fall. The day Kagome came back to buy flowers for the first time marked his favorite part of the year.

If only she didn’t have that stupid looking boyfriend.

[himbohotel]

Herc talking about Hylas? ;)

Despite his grizzled appearance, the years melt away at the mention of Hylas, and Hercules ducks his head, bashful like a boy in love. Immortality had been a wild ride for him, rebirth even more--the fact that he is considered a juvenile god brings a sprig of youth to his actions he had long shed as war-hardened hero all those years ago.

It reminds him of tripping over his tongue and feet as a young man with his first wife. Megara had always held that sway over him--her sharp tongue and mind utterly captivating to the point of twitterpated distraction. He had fallen for her hard and fast, and despite hindsight, he would not have traded their love for anything in the world.

He feels the same for Hylas. Wrong-footed in the best of ways, mesmorized by how such a small body could contain all that spitfire. When they were both mortal, he had curbed that fire with a strong, oft-merciless hand--as was his duty as mentor and older lover. And despite his best efforts and promise to keep the youth alive to carry on his family name, Hercules had failed.

This time, with his second chance, he vows to be different. He vows to be less hard-hearted and aloof, duty-bound in the worst of ways--ways that often fell on rounded, unsturdy shoulders to bear the brunt of Hercules's indirect rage. It had been his curse in life, one that had been lifted in his ascension. He is free now. They are free now. As free as they can possibly be. And Hercules cannot wait to explore their freedom together.

Even if that means Hylas finds his own path apart from his.