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writemywaytoyourheart · 5 years ago

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Onsra- Chapter 35: Kiss It Better

banner created by: @envity ♥️

pairing: vampire!jungkook x female reader (also vamp!tae x ga-in oc & vamp!jimin x yuri oc)

genre: E2L, romance, drama, angst, horror

warnings for this chapter: a little blood, panic attacks, some self hatred ;-; characters have a hard time with selflove, maybe I failed this chapter maybe not we don’t know.

word count: 8.9k

Onsra: ML, Previous

I genuinely don't know how I feel about this one but, here it is ;-;

____________________________________

I told you she would be sweet.

Jungkook takes a deep breath, letting it out through his nose as he sucks your blood slowly. His mind is covered in nothing but darkness. All he can feel is anger and an insatiable hunger as he sinks his teeth further into your neck and sucks harder.

Everything is a fog, none of his memories are clear; all he can feel is a need for blood. Your blood.

See what you’ve been missing out on?

“Kookie, you broke your promise…you said you’d never hurt me…”

Jungkook opens his eyes at those words. With his mind starting to clear, he pulls away slowly. He blinks in confusion, then as you start sliding down the wall, the realization of what he just did hits him. Jungkook grabs you as you fall, his stomach lurching, “Y/n? What—”

The sound of the door opening echoes in the hall, but Jungkook doesn’t even notice it as his mind reels in a blind panic about what he just did to you.

“Jungkook…what did you do?”

He doesn’t answer.

Seokjin steps closer carefully, noticing the blood dripping slowly from the small wound in your neck. Jin’s heart is racing as he tries to assess the situation; your head is lolled to the side and your eyes are closed as Jungkook slides to the ground with you, holding your body gently.

“Y/n?” Jungkook whispers tearfully, not believing what he’s seeing and more so, that he did it to you. He doesn’t remember anything; he doesn’t know what happened to make him turn on the one person he loves the most in this world.

When Jin is a few steps away, Jungkook looks up at him, horror swimming in the youngest’s gaze. “It’s okay, Kook. Just stay calm.” Jin crouches down to the ground to be closer as he reaches out to touch Jungkook’s arm.

The young vampire flinches away. “I- I d-didn’t-…I didn’t m-mean t-to.” His voice is shaking uncontrollably as he looks back down at your unconscious state. In the next second, as Jin tries to touch him again and say something, Jungkook is on his feet and bolting out the front door, shoving passed everyone just coming inside.

“Kook!” Jimin calls after him, but his call goes unanswered.

Jin’s attention is on you now, though. He feels for a pulse, breathing a sigh of relief when he feels a faint pounding through your wrist. “She’s still here. Tae! Please help me.”

The tall blonde hurries over after getting over his initial shock, scooping you up in his arms easily and carrying you to the couch, laying you down gently. Ga-In is right behind him, brushing your sweaty hair out of your face and caressing your cheeks, “Y/n? Can you hear me?” She wipes her tears and continues to gently pat your face when you don’t make any indication of hearing her words.

“Move, move, move.” Jin pushes past everyone gathered in the archway of the living room, grimacing at the pain in his side as he hurries to your side once again.

“Fuck.” He mumbles quietly, then he’s yelling for someone to get a cold rag and his first aid kit.

“Is she dying? Is she going to turn?” Ga-In is frantically wiping her tears, watching as Jin places the cold rag that Namjoon grabbed for him on your burning forehead.

“I don’t know, Ga-In.” Jin’s voice wavers as he reluctantly tells her the truth. Because he has no idea what’s going to happen to you. In all the times he’s seen a person be bitten, they turned, or they died.

No one notices Namjoon watching worriedly from the back before turning and leaving the house, making his way towards the woods.

~ ~ ~

By the time Hoseok has gotten Honey upstairs and away from the chaos, and Jimin has practically dragged Yuri out of the living room at Jin’s insistence for everyone but Ga-In and Tae to leave and give him space, you still haven’t regained consciousness. Jin keeps rewetting the rag to cool it down, then he places it on your forehead until it inevitably heats up and needs to be cooled again. He’s already cleaned and bandaged the wound on your neck, now all they can do is wait.

After a little while, Sooyoung comes into the room and walks over to Tae, wanting to tell him something. Taehyung moves to a side of the living room with her and Sooyoung whispers softly, “I’m not sure of anything, but I know it’s possible for her to be okay. She might not turn, and I don’t think she’s going to die at this point.” Tae furrows his brows in confusion.

“What do you mean? How do you know this?” He whispers back.

Sooyoung shifts awkwardly before pulling up the long sleeve of her shirt and showing him two puncture wounds on her wrist. Then, she pulls her long hair from her shoulder to uncover her neck, revealing two more puncture wounds. She wrings her hands, obviously not comfortable with talking about this.

“The vampires that captured me drank my blood a few times. They always made sure I knew that the only reason they kept me alive and from changing was for their fun. If they killed or changed me, their sport would be over.” Sooyoung looks back over at you, worry creasing her brow.

“They never took a lot of my blood, so I can’t be sure if Jungkook drank too much of y/n’s or if she’s going to change. But I thought I should let you know.” She finishes and tugs lightly at the cuffs of her sleeves in an almost anxious tick.

Taehyung’s heart soars at the knowledge that you really might be alright, as small a chance as it is considering you aren’t awake yet, and they aren’t sure how long Jungkook had you before they came in.

But it’s still a chance.

He thanks Sooyoung quietly and she gives a small nod before leaving the room. Then Tae walks over to relay the news to Ga-In and Jin.

Both are relieved that there is some hope, but no one can relax yet.

An hour passes, and no one has heard from Jungkook. Everyone is aware now that Namjoon is gone too, but no one has any idea where he’s gone to. Jin, Tae, and Ga-In all stay glued to your side, willing you to wake up and let them know you’re okay.

Taehyung paces the room while Ga-In sits on the floor by the couch with her head in her hands, unmoving. Seokjin sits in a chair that’s been placed next to the couch as he stares blankly at the mantel piece where Koko is swimming around in his little bowl, completely unaware of the dire situation.

“Where did he go?” Tae blurts out, clenched fist covering his mouth.

Seokjin doesn’t look away from the mantel as he snaps, “I don’t know. But right now, y/n is our priority…Namjoon probably went to find him.”

Tae frowns at that, but he can tell Jin is only being cold because he’s worried. He knows that Jin is probably dwelling on Jungkook’s absence as much as he is, but he’s feeling overwhelmed, and understandably so. Tae glances worriedly at you again, then he does a double take before hurrying over to the couch.

“She moved!” He breathes in disbelief, catching the attention of Ga-In and Jin, who both jump and turn their attention to you immediately.

You’re lying still as a rock while they stare at you, waiting with bated breath for you to move again. After a full minute of nothing, Tae sighs. “I saw her move, I swear.”

Ga-in brushes a strand of hair off your forehead, then she gasps when your eyelids twitch. “She did move! Did you see that?”

Jin nods, “I saw it. She might be waking up.”

They all watch you anxiously for another five minutes, expecting you to open your eyes at any second.

But you never do.

Jin curses quietly under his breath and drops his head into his hands.

Then it takes all three of them by surprise when your arm twitches suddenly. Ga-In looks at you hopefully while Tae and Jin watch warily, not sure what to expect.

Your arm twitches again, then your whole body starts to move around almost aimlessly.

“Fucking shit.” Seokjin mutters anxiously a split second before you start convulsing. He pins your arms to your side as Tae rewets the towel to cool your flaming skin. Ga-In speaks in hushed tones to keep you calm, but the fear in her eyes is clear.

“What do we do?” Ga-In asks tearfully, not sure if she really expects an answer.

Needless to say, she doesn’t get one.

~ ~ ~

A bright light blinds you, making you squint your eyes in pain. You can’t see anything but walls that are so purely white, it’s too painful to look at. The ground underneath you the same color as the walls, and it wobbles unsteadily under you.

The sharp pain in your neck turns to a dull throbbing as you feel your useless legs give out underneath you, and you fall.

Then, everything goes black.

You reach out blindly, trying to touch anything that can give you a sense of where you are, but your hands meet nothing except air.

The panic starts to rise, and you push it down as best as you can. The throbbing in your neck feels like a flame starting from the one spot and spreading across your neck and left shoulder, licking and burning the untouched skin in its path.

You can hear someone crying, but it doesn’t sound like anyone you know.

The wails make you sick to your stomach, so you try to plug your ears, but the anguished cries won’t be silenced.

You curl into a ball, pulling your legs up to your chest in an attempt at calming yourself. You clench your eyes shut, whispering nonsense to yourself to drown out the loud voice in your head, whispering in glee.

Welcome to hell.

~ ~ ~

Jungkook stumbles through the forest, his mind reeling. He can’t process the fact that he hurt you.

You.

He loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone in his entire life.

And he hurt you.

It won’t click.

He promised you. He promised you he would never hurt you ever again, and now he’s done something so horrible that it makes him physically ill. As Jungkook pushes frantically through the branches of trees in his path, images of your unconscious face flash in his vision. The deep red color of the blood dripping down your neck from the wound that he gave you, seeps into his mind.

And you said you loved her.

Ha!

I’d like to see what she has to say about that when she wakes up.

If she wakes up.

“No! She’s okay.” Jungkook whimpers, finally letting his legs give out as he slumps to the ground. “She’s going to wake up.” Jungkook doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince at this point.

You’re right, she will wake up…

But she isn’t going to be the same.

The horror in Jungkook’s body causes him to shake as he scoots himself backward until his back is against a tree, screaming as he plugs his ears.

“No! No, no, no! She won’t turn, she won’t turn!!”

Look at you…you’re really a monster now.

Not only did you hurt the girl you claimed to love, but you doomed her to a fate worse than death.

“NO!” Jungkook is grabbing at his hair and tugging on it, after plugging his ears has proven to be futile. He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe.

Jungkook gasps and grabs at his chest, wishing more than anything that he had died when the vampire first bit him. He wishes he never found you.

A memory of you wiping deer blood from his hands pops into his head suddenly; your gentle touch on his hands as you ever so carefully clean him after knowing he had done something so vile.

Then an image of you resting your head on his shoulder and touching him gently when you were all crammed into the back of the minivan pushes its way to the front of his mind.

You following him around like a lost puppy, even when he was so cruel to you before.

Your eyes shining when you look at him, your cheeks tinted in a little blush when he makes you flustered.

You throwing yourself into his arms and kissing him when he was so sure that you would never trust him again.

“I love you.”

Your voice whispers in his mind, as soft as ever.

Jungkook’s cries are so gut wrenching that he finds himself hunched over and throwing up into a pile of leaves, gagging on his choked breaths.

He slumps forward to the ground when there’s nothing left in his stomach, his forehead laying on the cool grass as he breathes shakily. Each breath out is a strangled sob, choking him again and again.

Please just let me die.

“Jungkook.”

The vampire doesn’t move when he hears someone call his name, he just lies there and keeps wishing as hard as he can that none of this ever happened, that he had just died that day when he was bitten.

Namjoon sees the youngest curled in on himself at the base of a tree, coughing and choking tearfully. He walks over slowly, not wanting to startle him. “Jungkook.” He says again, but he doesn’t get a response.

Namjoon stops right next to Jungkook, then he sits next to the tree and takes Jungkook’s arm. He pulls him- quite easily- into his lap. Jungkook doesn’t speak, but he doesn’t fight him either. He just lies there and lets Namjoon wrap his arms around him, holding him tightly.

After a few minutes, Jungkook opens his eyes. Namjoon looks down and sees the deep red color covering the youngest’s irises. He would normally be worried that Jungkook is going to go on some violent rampage like he does when this happens, but this time, his heart hurts even worse.

Because Jungkook is calm.

Jungkook must sense Namjoon’s sadness, because he looks up at him and speaks in a choked whisper. “I know…I’m really a vampire now, aren’t I?”

Namjoon stays quiet, but that’s all Jungkook needs to know he’s right. He blinks, a few more tears sliding down his cheeks. “Please tell me y/n is okay.”

“She’s alive, but she hasn’t woken up yet. At least, not while I was there.” Namjoon says softly.

Jungkook buries his head in his hands, still curled in Namjoon’s lap. He’s beyond relieved that you’re alive, but nothing is certain about your state other than that. He doesn’t know how to process this. It feels like a horrible nightmare, and he’s going to wake up any minute, finding you sitting on his bed and nagging him to get up.

You want him to wake up so you can go and feed Koko, pick flowers, and explore the woods. You’re kind of afraid of the woods, but when Jungkook is with you, you aren’t scared of getting lost. Maybe you two can pack a lunch and have a picnic, like you wanted to do for so long. Or maybe he can teach you how to climb trees better, so you won’t have to be so afraid.

Jungkook hates seeing you so scared all the time. He wishes he could take away your fear and promise you he will always be there to protect you.

“Jungkook, will you listen to what I want to say?”

His older brother’s voice breaks through Jungkook’s cluttered and confused mind, yanking him back to reality as the horrible truth weighs down on his chest. He starts to shake again, reaching his hands up to plug his ears.

Namjoon watches him sadly, his heart aching at the sight of the broken boy in front of him.

Then he reaches over and gently takes his hands off his ears, holding them tightly in his own. Namjoon was never the overly affectionate one, although he’s always cared about his brothers immensely. He was never able to show it much.

Jungkook’s eyes are pinched shut as he tries desperately to conjure up the lie he’s convinced himself of. You’re okay and you’re trying to wake him up. You’re okay and you’re trying to wake him up.

“I gotta wake up. I gotta wake up.” Jungkook mutters anxiously, not caring that Namjoon has his hands, just keeping his eyes closed as he repeats the words over and over.

“Jungkook, look at me…look at me.” At the tone of Namjoon’s voice, Jungkook opens his eyes and looks at him. “I didn’t bite her. I didn’t hurt her…” He whispers faintly.

Namjoon purses his lips, trying to gather his thoughts.

“I would never hurt her.”

He looks down at Jungkook, who’s gaze is unfocused, tears brimming in his deep red eyes as he looks somewhere far away.

“I love her…”

“I know.” Namjoon sighs, brushing the hair out of Jungkook’s face that has gotten sticky with his tears and stuck to him. “Listen Jungkook, I think she’s going to be okay…but wouldn’t you like to be there to help her?”

Jungkook nods absentmindedly, and Namjoon knows he’s disassociating himself.

“Kook, you need to stay with me. You can’t help her if you don’t focus.” Namjoon’s voice is strict, but kind. He takes Jungkook’s shoulders and moves him to a sitting position, leaning him against the trunk of the tree.

“You said it was hopeless.” Jungkook speaks in an almost confused tone, his words breathy and unclear.

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“You said it was hopeless…you said we would never be humans again, hyung. You said that. You said that and you were right…you’re always right.”

“Kook-“

“Y/n needs a human…I can’t keep hurting her like this. It’s my fault she’s hurting, hyung.” Tears have started to brim in his eyes again. “Can you do it for me?” His head lolls to the side as he looks at his older brother.

Namjoon is beyond confused. He has no idea what Jungkook is asking of him. “Do what, Kook?”

“Kill me…please.”

Namjoon feels his heart lurch at the words coming from his littlest brother’s mouth. The youngest doesn’t even seem sad about his words, he’s just desperate.

“Just get rid of me, and y/n can be happy again.”

“Jungkook-“

“As long as I’m here she’s going to get hurt!!” Jungkook screams, then drops his head back onto the tree, clearly exhausted.

“Jungkook listen to me-“

“Just stop, hyung-“

“No! Now you have to listen to me!” Namjoon raises his voice, his patience finally gone.

Jungkook looks over at him, waiting for him to speak, but knowing he isn’t going to change his mind.

“Yes, you hurt her Jungkook. But why the fuck would you two be in that position anyway? Because no matter what has happened, she has stayed with you.”

Jungkook blinks back more tears, listening to Namjoon as the older vampire rants, having finally had enough of this.

“You did something wrong. That doesn’t mean you can run away and pretend it didn’t happen, though. No matter what you tell yourself, and eventually convince yourself of, y/n is hurt. Nothing is going to change that.”

Jungkook swallows thickly, knowing that Namjoon is right. He’s been trying to pretend like it’s all a terrible dream, because he can’t fathom himself hurting you like that. He still can’t believe it. He was so confused and horrified at his own actions, that he left you. After hurting you, he left.

First it’s one tear, then another. Soon, he’s crying softly, choking on his tears. “Hyung, I don’t know what to do.” Jungkook looks at Namjoon, his blood red eyes reflecting more pain and regret than the other vampire has ever seen.

“You go back to her…and you don’t give up.” Namjoon says seriously, not willing to watch his younger brother fade away into nothing.

“How can I? I fucked up. I don’t deserve her…she probably doesn’t want anything to do with me.” Jungkook’s breath quickens, the reality of the situation becoming clearer. “What do I do if she turns? Fuck…fuck, I can’t.” Jungkook sobs, his body shaking all over again.

“You get back there…and no matter what happened, you’re going to face the consequences of your actions.” Namjoon puts a hand on his shoulder, making sure he knows he’s there. “Y/n has stuck by you through thick and thin, and even now, I’m sure she is only worried about you. Would you rather leave her forever when she needs you the most?”

Jungkook stares into the forest blankly, his mind battling itself more than it ever has. The darkness looms overhead, threatening to choke out the tiny sliver of light that is left. And it could, in a split second it could take over his mind and leave him as nothing but the empty shell of who he used to be. He’d be no more than a despicable monster, hiding behind the face of his past self.

He doesn’t know why, but something urges him to reach into his pocket. So, he carefully pats them, feeling nothing. Jungkook reaches into his right pocket as Namjoon watches him curiously.

When he pulls out the tiny white flower, smooshed beyond repair, Jungkook’s throat closes. How long had that been in his pocket? He put it there after you had kissed him for the first time. It had fallen out of your hair…

He closes his eyes and breathes deeply.

I’m going to prove that I care about you. I’ll show you, Jeon Jungkook.

He opens his eyes, the tiny light still flickering in the back of his mind, not willing to be over shadowed.

Not yet.

Jungkook wipes his tears, shaking his head as he stands unsteadily before placing the little white flower back into his pocket. Namjoon sighs quietly in relief, thankful that his stern approach didn’t backfire.

Jungkook can’t believe how selfish it was for him to run out on you, as terrified as he was. The amount of times he scared you, and you never ran out on him… He doesn’t want to think about the hurt he’s put you through, but now isn’t the time to run away and pretend it didn’t happen. Jungkook moves to head back, but Namjoon stops him.

“Kook, wait.”

The vampire turns back, a question in his eyes. “What?”

“I was wrong.”

Jungkook looks at him in confusion, “What do you mean?”

Namjoon has never admitted to being wrong before. He was always the genius among them, and everyone usually took his word for things. But whenever someone would question him when they disagreed, he’d never say he made a mistake.

He wasn’t self-centered, but he could be a bit prideful and big-headed at times. Admitting he was wrong about something, is one thing none of them would ever think of hearing come from his mouth.

“I was wrong, when I said it was hopeless.” Namjoon looks away from Jungkook. “I was scared…and I shouldn’t have said it. I knew everyone was panicking because we had just turned, and we didn’t know what was going on. You all turned to me for answers, for hope that things would be alright. But I didn’t give that to you.”

Jungkook swallows, seeing Namjoon stand and still not meet his eyes.

“I always thought I was the brightest…I might be smart, but I’ve learned a lot about wisdom, from all of you. There’s a difference between them. There’s more to life than always being the top and always being perfect, and I’m sorry I failed to teach you that.” Namjoon wipes away a stray tear, “Don’t give up Kook, because there’s always hope. I see that now…and I’m sorry.”

Jungkook walks over to Namjoon and wraps his arms around him, startling the older vampire. “It’s okay hyung, you’ll turn back. I know you will.” He whispers, making Namjoon tear up again. The older of the two pulls away, wiping his face in embarrassment, “We’re in this together. Now, let’s get you back to y/n.”

Jungkook’s stomach flips over but he nods, turning to run back to you, and praying that he isn’t too late to let you know you’re never alone.

~ ~ ~

“Taehyung please get me some more cold water! And grab a glass of water, too!” Seokjin shouts, trying to keep you on the couch as your body writhes around. Ga-In has a hand on each of your arms, doing her best to pin you down without hurting you. “It’s okay, y/n. If you can hear me, just know that you’re alright.” Ga-In says tearfully.

Tae rushes in with the bowl of water and another glass of it. Seokjin has him go into his first aid kit and get some fever medicine.

“How do we give it to her?” Tae asks, his eyes wide in panic.

Seokjin shakes his head, “I don’t know, but she needs something for her fever now. I don’t want to give it to her when she’s like this, she’ll choke. We need to calm her down-”

“She’s opening her eyes!” Ga-In cries in relief as your body slows down to a twitch, your eyes moving under the lids.

Jin leans over you, putting the cold rag onto your forehead, “Y/n? Can you hear me?”

Your eyes flutter open, rolling to the back of your head as they all gasp in horror at the reddish color now covering your irises.

“Fuck.” Jin rasps, trying not to panic.

Ga-In starts sobbing uncontrollably while Tae tries his best to keep everyone calm. Then they hear the front door slam open, and footsteps running down the hall.

Jungkook appears in the doorway of the living room just as you start to convulse again. He runs in and stumbles to his knees at your side, grabbing your hands and holding them close to his chest. “Hey, hey. I’m here. You’re okay, baby.” Jungkook whispers, his voice thick with tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please don’t give up.” Jungkook keeps his composure as best he can but wants nothing more than to crumple and disappear at the sight of seeing you struggle.

~ ~ ~

“Hey, hey. I’m here. You’re okay, baby...please don’t give up.”

Jungkook?

“Jungkook!” You shout and uncover your ears, sitting up in the darkness. The cold voice keeps taunting with a playful lilt, but you ignore it.

You get to your feet and take off.

Maniacal laughter bounces around you, but you keep running.

You’re running so fast, that when you slam into a door, you fly backwards and land on your butt, hard. You wince in pain, then quickly get to your feet and try the knob on the door.

Locked.

“Hey! Let me in!!” You pound on the door, noticing a tiny little window in it that’s covered with a black cloth.

The doorknob turns and you cry out in relief, opening the door and moving to get into the room where you can see light streaming from now.

Are you sure you want to do that?

You freeze, turning to see nothing in the inky blackness. The disembodied voice from before floats around you.

If you go in that door, you’re going to be miserable.

You’re going to be afraid, and for good reason.

You blink a few times, not sure if you should listen or just run while you can.

The world out there is cruel, and full of pain-

Before it gets the chance to finish, you make up your mind and throw yourself into the room, the bright light blinding you as you gasp in a breath of fresh air.

~ ~ ~

The sun filters in through the blinds, signaling that morning has come.

No one has moved from their positions. Ga-In is sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, her face hiding. Tae sits next to her, doing all he can to stay positive. Jin sits in the chair next to the couch, his head in his hands. And Jungkook is kneeling by the couch, your hands clutched in his, his forehead gently pressing to yours as he whispers to you softly.

“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You can do this. You’ll be okay.” Jungkook says whatever goes through his head, fully believing that you can hear him.

He leans back to look at you, your eyes closed but fluttering a bit, like they have been all night. Several times through the night, his mind clouded over with darkness and he was tempted to run again, but he stayed put. He is never going to leave you again.

Then, everyone but Jungkook jumps in surprise when you shoot straight up, gasping. Your eyes are wide open, the red completely gone now, your normal color covering your irises, like nothing ever changed.

Ga-In starts screaming, jumping up from the floor and running to wrap you in her arms, holding you tighter than she ever has.

“Y/N!! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” She’s sobbing her eyes out as you pat her on the back, not remembering anything or how you got where you are. The last thing you remember is asking Jungkook if he wanted to catch fireflies with you, and now you’re surrounded as you sit on the couch in confusion.

“What happened?” You croak, your throat sore as if you’d been screaming for hours.

“I bit you.” Jungkook speaks up, taking everyone by surprise with his forwardness. You gently push Ga-In away so you can see Jungkook, kneeling by the couch.

“What?”

“Last night, I bit you.” He says again, his eyes never leaving yours.

Jin immediately stands up and takes Tae and Ga-In, gently pulling them out of the room so the two of you can talk.

Your mind is racing, not having a single clue as to what he’s talking about. “W-what do you mean you bit me?”

“I don’t know how it happened.” Jungkook swallows thickly, “I suddenly couldn’t control myself. Then I left, because I was terrified…If it wasn’t for Jin hyung and the others, you’d probably be dead right now. I’m sorry.”

You look down and see Jungkook’s hands trembling. Your heart aches at the sight and you reach out to touch his shaking hands. At this point, you aren’t sure which one of you you’re trying to comfort.

Then it all comes rushing back to you.

Jungkook getting angry and pinning you to the wall, then biting you.

Your throat closes as you watch him struggle to contain his tears. “You came back.” You whisper, making him lift his head.

“Why did you come back?”

You watch him closely, wanting an honest answer. Jungkook wipes his eyes and takes your hand in his, “I’m sorry I left. It’s no excuse, but I was so scared…I couldn’t believe what I’d done, I still can’t believe it. I don’t want anything to do with myself anymore. I don’t know what happened to me, but I realized that no matter what, I couldn’t leave you. I love you.”

You smile weakly, a small tear slipping down your cheek. “Are you okay, Jungkook?”

“I hurt you, y/n! It’s a miracle that you’re not dead or turned right now! And you’re wondering if I’m okay?” Jungkook stutters in disbelief. You frown, other than a small headache and feeling weak, you’re fine.

“I’m okay-“

“Stop, y/n. Just let yourself be not okay!” Jungkook cries in frustration. “Please! Hit me, kick me, do something! I’m a piece of shit for hurting you, and you just say you’re okay! Please don’t push your feelings away anymore.”

Jungkook’s desperate words hit something in you and you finally start to cry. The fear from last night comes out in body wracking sobs as you try to catch your breath.

“I- I was so scared.” You whimper, stuffing your face in your hands, your shoulders shaking from the overwhelming emotions trying to escape you.

You hold your arms out and Jungkook pushes himself into your hold, wrapping his arms around you tightly. He tucks his face into the crook of your neck and rocks you side to side gently. “I know, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

You cry into Jungkook’s shoulder for the next ten minutes, then you start to hiccup when your tears slow down. “P-please don’t hate yourself, Kookie.” You whisper brokenly. Jungkook bites his lip as you continue.

“It wasn’t you. The second you believe it was you, you’ll backtrack even more. I know you would never hurt me, Kookie.”

“I did, though.” He whispers.

“That wasn’t you. My beautiful Kook would never hurt me.” You pull back and smile at him tearfully, wiping his eyes. Jungkook sighs shakily, “Y/n, I need you to promise me something.” You keep your eyes on him, listening intently.

“You need to promise me that if I ever do something like that again, you’ll leave. You are worth more than you think you are, and I want you to see that. You don’t deserve to be treated horribly, even if you believe you do. You’re an amazing girl, and I love you. But that’s why I need you to promise that you’ll take care of yourself.” Jungkook says, looking into your eyes desperately, “If I ever lay a hand on you again, you leave.”

You nod slowly, finally understanding what he means. “Ok, I promise.”

“There are people in this world that will take advantage of your kindness, and you can’t let them do that. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but I swear if I feel like I might change again, I’ll leave. You’re worth more than that.” Jungkook presses his forehead to yours, breathing heavily, his mind racing with relief that you’re okay, and that you’ve finally promised to not let anyone walk all over you.

You pull away after a second when you realize something.

Something you should have noticed by now.

“Jungkook…”

His eyes are a dark red, like when he starts going crazy and blood hungry. But he’s being himself…that means…

…you’re too late.

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” You ask quietly, another tear escaping. Jungkook shakes his head, “I won’t leave until I have to. You’re stuck with me, for now.” He gives you a weak smile, no doubt hiding his fear that he’s almost gone.

“I wanna be stuck with you forever.” You frown, letting him give you a quick kiss on the forehead. You will not cry again. You don’t want to upset him even more.

But it hurts so bad.

Jungkook calls the others in to see you, after they had been working their asses off all night to save you, and they hadn’t gotten to talk with you yet.

Ga-In won’t let go of you, sitting next to you and holding you in her arms while Tae gushes about how strong you were until Jin has to make the boy sit down and take a deep breath. You thank all of them until you’re out of breath, knowing you have them to thank for you being here.

They let Honey come in, and you pull her into your lap, cuddling her close. She pulls back and moves your hair to see the bandage on your neck. Then, she leans forward and gives it a little kiss, whispering, “I kissed it better.” Your heart melts and you hug her again, not noticing the way Jungkook watches you from the side of the room, a sad smile on his face.

When Jin ushers everyone out so you can get some rest while they whip up some food for you, you find yourself with just Jungkook once again. He has you lie down on the couch and he sits on the couch by your waist, playing with your hair.

Jungkook twirls your hair around his finger and gently brushes it out, trying to help you relax. You watch him sadly, noting the way he avoids your eyes, his own swimming with suppressed pain.

“Kookie.”

“Mm?”

“Please look at me?” You ask softly.

Jungkook turns his gaze from your hair up to your eyes, his dark red eyes shining with unfallen tears. “Yes?” He swallows the choked sob that almost slips out. You reach up and stroke his cheek with your thumb, “I’m alright, Kook.”

He nods, one little tear slipping out. You brush it away gently, “I hate it when you cry. But if it makes you feel better, please cry all you want.”

A broken sob leaves his throat.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am, there isn’t any way for me to show you.” Jungkook cries quietly, his mind bombarding him again and the guilt overwhelming him. “I’m so fucking relieved that you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost you.”

“You didn’t lose me. You’ll never lose me, Kook.” You coo and continue to wipe his tears.

“I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry.” Jungkook leans down and buries his face into your shoulder, letting his tears fall. They tickle your neck as they drip onto it and slide down, hurting your heart even more. You wrap your arms around him and cradle his head, running your fingers through his hair to calm him.

His whimpers eventually fade away as he breathes deeply, inhaling your scent and calming himself. “I love you, Kookie…you know that.” He nods at your words, his head still tucked in your neck.

You can feel Jungkook’s body shaking, his emotions on overdrive after almost losing you. “Hey.” You tap his head until he lifts his tear-stained face to look at you.

“Tell me what’s going on in your head.” You whisper.

“I don’t know how to fix this.” His quiet voice is laced with thick tears and sorrow. You hum and pull him closer so you can kiss him on the forehead, your lips lingering there for a moment before pulling away.

“There.” You whisper with a smile. “I kissed it better.”

Jungkook finally gives you a small smile, letting your heart lift.

~ ~ ~

“I told you you’d turn back.”

Namjoon turns from inspecting himself closely in the mirror to see Jungkook leaning against the bathroom doorway, his arms crossed as he gives his older brother a small smile.

“Kook, hi.” Namjoon fidgets a little, guilt creeping into his mind even though he has no idea how he’s turned back into a human.

“You look good.” Jungkook says, still smiling.

“Oh, t-thanks.” Namjoon laughs nervously. “I honestly have no idea what happened. I wasn’t feeling well before I went to bed last night. When I woke up, I was like this.”

“Weird.” Jungkook muses, but he has an idea of what might have caused it. “Maybe you should ask Seokjin hyung about it.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

Jungkook nods and moves to leave, but a hand on his arm stops him.

“Hey, uh-“

He turns back to Namjoon, “Yeah?”

“Don’t-…this just-“

“It’s okay, hyung. I’m happy for you, and I understand.” Jungkook reassures him, then he turns to go back and check on you.

Namjoon watches him go, a sad smile on his face as he contemplates on how to help the youngest.

~ ~ ~

“Hey you.” Jungkook smiles at you from the entrance to the living room. You look up from your bowl of soup as he walks over to you. A huge smile spreads across your face at the sight of him, and you set your soup down on your lap carefully.

“Hey, Kookie.”

The smile on your face and the happy gleam in your eye makes his chest ache. He hates himself for what he did to you, and the fact that you aren’t even upset with him makes him hate himself even more.

It all seems like a horrible nightmare. The events of the night before don’t feel real to anyone in the house, the only evidence that it even happened is the bandage on your neck; and the sight of it makes Jungkook sick to his stomach, knowing he caused the damage underneath.

So far, you haven’t had any problems other than a small headache that went away after Jin gave you some medicine, and some weakness in your arms and legs.

Seokjin, Jungkook, and the girls have all been monitoring you closely the entire day; making sure that you’re eating and that no other symptoms come up. Ga-In, Tae, and Jin all question their sanity a few times after seeing your red eyes last night, then seeing it completely disappear when you woke up, as if nothing ever happened.

Taehyung had told the others what Sooyoung said, and everyone would have taken that as what happened because maybe Jungkook didn’t have you that long, but your momentary scarlet eyes make that hard to believe.

None of them told anyone else about them though, figuring that Jungkook would have a panic attack and the others wouldn’t know what to make of it anyway. Jin ended up telling you, but you didn’t have much to say on it.

All you know, is that you feel fine.

When Ga-In asked if you could hear them when they were talking to you, you told her about the weird vision you had while you were out, and how Jungkook had been the only one you could hear in the darkness.

“How’s the soup?” Jungkook asks sweetly, sitting on the chair next to the couch. He hasn’t had any changes since Namjoon and him spoke last night, the dark cloud hopefully staying clear for now.

“It’s good! I wish you could try it.” You look down at the bowl sadly.

Jungkook reaches over and bops your nose, smiling at you cutely as he laughs, “More for you.” Your heart clenches seeing his old smile back again. The days before, with his on and off behavior were really starting to weigh on you. Jungkook biting you was something you never imagined happening, but you know he didn’t have control over himself.

He’s trying his best, but it’s consuming him, you can tell.

“When can we catch fireflies?” You ask as you spoon another bite of soup into your mouth. Jungkook tries to keep from giggling at how cute you are as he moves a strand of hair out of your face. “The second you feel better. I promise.”

It turns out that would be the next day.

When you wake up the next morning, you rub your eyes, squinting tiredly at the sun slipping through the curtains. Jungkook is right by your side when you turn your head, sitting in the chair and reading a book. He doesn’t notice that you’re awake until you reach over and poke his thigh, making him jump.

Jungkook looks over at you and immediately closes his book, setting it on the ground and scooting closer to you, “Good morning.” He whispers, “How did you sleep?”

You fight the urge to cover your puffy morning eyes, moving your messy hair out of your face as he helps you to a sitting position. “I slept okay, I forgot I was on the couch.” You giggle sleepily and Jungkook’s eyes light up at the sound.

“I feel really good.” You say before yawning, “I don’t feel bad at all, actually.”

Relief swarms Jungkook’s entire body, washing over him in waves. He sighs and pets your head, “I’m glad. Are you hungry?”

“Always!” You laugh.

~ ~ ~

You never knew how much you took sitting down at the table and eating with everyone for granted, until now.

To be with everyone this morning is such a relief, and you feel a lot better just from the sight of you all together.

“We missed you kiddo, glad you’re okay.” Yoongi ruffles your hair after everyone else greets you with hugs, taking you by surprise with his affectionate gesture. He really is a softie.

You also never knew what good hugs Namjoon gave until today. He’s a human again, and you can’t wait to hear how it happened, when he’s ready to share it. When he hugs you tightly, you instantly feel comforted and safe, bringing a big smile to your face.

Jin makes your favorite breakfast in honor of you recovering.

No one has said anything about what happened, and you’re grateful, but Jungkook still avoids interactions with most of them, apart from you. You know he’s afraid that they’ll look at him differently, but you’re sure they understand that Jungkook would never intentionally hurt you. It’s going to take Jungkook a while to recover though, probably a lot longer than you.

After breakfast, you insist that you feel well enough to get outside for some fresh air, so you and Jungkook take a walk in the shady part of the forest, stopping every once in a while to pick flowers.

Jungkook never lets go of your hand the entire time, keeping you as close as he can. You wish you could let him know that everything is alright, and you aren’t upset with him, and you’re not scared of him either. But he still seems like he’s beating himself up constantly. The way he looks at you like he’s afraid you’ll break at any second, makes your heart hurt.

But you don’t know how to help him see that it’s okay.

When you get home, Jungkook has you sit on the couch as he pulls out Jin’s first aid kit. “Jin hyung said we need to change your bandage today.” He says a little nervously. You nod and give him a smile, “Do you want someone else to do it, Kookie?” You ask just in case.

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath, “It’s fine, I can do it. As long as you’re okay with it?” The hurt deep in his gaze that hasn’t left since the other night makes your throat close, but you nod and push your hair out of the way before you can cry.

“I’ll be gentle, please tell me if it hurts.” Jungkook says anxiously as he ever so gently removes the bandage. The sight of the two puncture wounds makes him close his eyes and breathe deeply. When he gathers himself, he makes quick work of cleaning the wound and bandaging it up again, only relaxing when he’s done.

“There you go.” He swallows and moves back to see you grinning.

“Thanks, Nurse Kookie!” You giggle.

He can’t believe that you don’t despise him right now, instead, you’re trying your best to make him feel better, when he should be the one bending over backwards for you.

He smiles at you sadly, “I don’t deserve you, y/n.”

You wave your hand in the air and brush off his words, “Stop saying nonsense. Most people don’t deserve the things they get. But you? You deserve the world, Kookie. I’m nothing compared to what you deserve-”

Jungkook shuts you up with a quick kiss, “Shush, or we’re going to get into an argument about who deserves what.”

“How about we just say we’re not perfect, but we’re perfect for each other?” You say, poking his cheek before pecking his lips.

Jungkook shakes his head and chuckles, “You’re lucky I love you, because that was terribly cheesy, and I might just gag.”

“Shut up, jerk.” You pull away, pretending to pout.

Jungkook grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks and pulling you close enough to kiss you three times, “I’m sorry.” He pouts at you until you smile again.

The color of his eyes might be proving that it’s getting worse, but the way he’s acting still gives you hope.

Your Jungkook is still in there.

~ ~ ~

“I know by now I sound like a broken record-…” Yoongi sighs as he takes a bite of mashed potatoes. “But I have some news.”

“Is it good or bad?” Jin asks, cutting up Honey’s meat into bite sized pieces, then handing the plate to Hoseok, who places it in front of the tiny girl sitting beside him. A stack of books is on her adult sized chair and she’s sitting on them to be able to reach the table. The sight is truly heart melting.

“Neutral.” Yoongi states simply.

“Alright, let us have it.” The eldest says confidently, so tired of everything at this point that he doesn’t even care anymore.

“Remember we said that we were meeting the Hunters in three weeks before we infiltrated the vampire camp? Well, we’re supposed to meet them next week.”

A silence falls over the room, but you can’t tell if it’s an excited silence, or a stressed one. Jin is the first to speak up.

“Ok well, that’s not bad news. We’ll meet with them and figure things out from there.” Jin takes another bite, chewing and swallowing before speaking again, “I know I for one, am ready to be done with this.” Everyone nods, then Sooyoung speaks up quietly.

“So, um…” Her small voice fades away, then you notice Jin looking at her kindly, nodding for her to continue. “Do you guys, uh…know if the vampires are only here, or…?”

Namjoon answers her immediately, “We aren’t sure if there are more anywhere else in the world, but we do know that there are only a few groups in South Korea. The Hunters have spent months tracking them all, and they told us they estimated about four hundred real vampires in Korea. That isn’t counting the people they turn.”

You chew slowly, the food becoming a bit harder to swallow. Four hundred isn’t too many, but it isn’t a small number either, especially it being an estimate. Jungkook’s hand slips under the table, grasping yours and giving it a quick reassuring squeeze. You send him a smile, your heart aching when he scrunches his nose cutely at you.

After dinner- which had a lot of talk that you didn’t understand so you eventually stopped paying attention to- you and Jungkook are in the backyard. Jungkook watches you, your eyes shining as you chase fireflies and try to catch them. “Over there, y/n!” Jungkook calls out to you, pointing to a few fireflies buzzing around lazily.

You hurry over and hold the jar Jin gave you out, trying to snag one. You miss by a long shot, a pout forming on your face as Jungkook chuckles. “It’s okay, love. Come here.” He gestures for you to go to him, so you trudge back, a frown still on your face.

Jungkook cuddles you into his side before laying you both on the ground, then he points up; a few fireflies fly above your heads, and a million stars shine in the dark sky. “Ohh.” You look at all the shining lights in awe, your eyes widening considerably. Then you feel a gentle kiss on your cheek, and you turn to see Jungkook smiling at you so wide that his eyes are all squinted up cutely.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, causing your cheeks to burn and turn crimson. “No, I’m not.” You mumble and turn away. Jungkook tuts and takes your chin to pull you to look at him. “Stop being so mean to yourself.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it’s just an automatic thing, to not-…like me.” You mutter, not really wanting to get into it right now. You turn back to the sky, and Jungkook can tell the conversation is done. He sighs quietly and brushes his fingers through your hair. “You still need to read Beauty and the Beast to me, little flower.” Jungkook says in your ear quietly.

A little chill goes down your spine from the proximity, and you nod, a smile coming onto your face again. “Should I start when we go back in?”

“Please do. I’m dying for you to read to me.” Jungkook nuzzles his nose into your hair, breathing in your scent. “I could listen to you talk all day.”

“Eww, now who’s being cheesy?” You poke at him while you giggle. Jungkook groans, “Give me a break, I’m new at this.”

“So am I!”

You two start giggling like a couple of school kids, then Jungkook sighs and pulls you even closer. “You’re going to kill me, I think I love you too much.”

“You’re so dramatic.” You roll your eyes playfully, but inside, your heart and stomach feel like they’ve been swept up by a tornado.

You watch the stars for a little while longer, both of you trying to pick out different constellations and make up your own. When your eyes start to droop from exhaustion, Jungkook holds your smaller hand in his and kisses it gently as you whisper sleepily.

“We’ll be together forever, won’t we Koo?”

He bites his bottom lip hard, almost hard enough to draw blood. He wants nothing more than to be able to fulfill that promise, but he doesn’t know if he can. His time is running out, and he doesn’t know how to stop it…

But Jungkook nods anyway, brushing his thumb over your knuckles gently.

“Forever.”

____________________________________

a/n: i mean at this point, why do I bother having a 'schedule' ? I hope y'all like this one tho ;-;

Tag list: @jjungkook99 @ditttiii @rubinora @mygukandonly @xxxanimangxxx @elliegrace1999tvd @howbizarre @your-best-behaviour @krystle1990 @karissassirak @hopeworld-baseline @lettersforjoon @squidyelmosquidbutt @jeonjungkookismyfuture @nikikookie @adelina1299 @fekitza

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manggojooz · 5 years ago

Text

Foolish Love, Fake Love (Part 3)

pairing: idol!Jungkook x bodyguard!reader

word count: ~1,800

genre: idol!au; angst; romance; drama; enemies to lovers sort of thing

warnings: none

previous part: Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2

summary: If all you can give me is a fake love, then I will be the fool to pretend that it is all true.

comments: sorry if the chapter is a bit short haha but im trying to get myself back into writing in baby steps =) pls comment or reblog if you liked this <3

How do you explain love? Is it a feeling? Is it an agreement? Is it an experience?

---

The day felt like months.

You were using Yuri’s phone to surf the net, her nose poking into the side of your chin as she leaned against your shoulder, trying to read the tiny words on her phone too.

“When are you getting your phone back?”, Yuri asked soullessly.

“Whenever the reporters stop calling, I hope...”, you answered. As though on cue, Sejoon bursts into the waiting room, causing Yuri to knock her forehead into your cheekbone when she abruptly shot up straight.

Sejoon dragged his feet along as he approached your side and held out a handphone for you. “Use this phone in the meantime, I've saved a few contacts in it for you. And Director Lee wants to see you for a while”, he said sheepishly.

You handed Yuri’s phone back to her and Sejoon caught a glimpse of the article you had been reading.

---

As you made your way to the higher floors of the BH building, the lift ride was silent and awkward. Half a day has since passed after Rapid released the exclusive article confirming that Jungkook was dating you. Sejoon suddenly blurted, “I suggest you don’t read any of the articles...”

You looked at him silently.

“You know the saying right... a pen is mightier than a sword... in this case, a keyboard is definitely mightier than a gun”, his tone was serious yet soothing at the same time.

“I know... I won’t take the articles or the comments too seriously”, you said almost nonchalantly.

He shook his head slightly, “it’s easier said than done, Y/N. It’s better if you just don’t read them at all”, he stared ahead as he nagged gently at you.

Somehow you felt a tinge of warmth from the situation, which softened the otherwise difficult and draining day.

---

“Since it doesn’t make sense for you to be a bodyguard anymore, we just said you are a staff member. But let’s be clear, you are not qualified to do any other job so your job will still be the same. In fact, now you have more to guard...”, Director Lee was rambling on more than she usually would.

You only nodded in response. For some reason, since the earlier part of the day you have felt like you no longer own a voice. It is as if you had given your tongue to the sea witch but in return you got a fake prince.

“We have put all the policies in place to ensure employee confidentiality on this situation. But since you are a lead character in all of this, we believe it calls for a little more documentation...”, she fumbled around, tossing files around her desk. It was the first time her room seemed a little messier than it usually would be.

Her assistant who had been standing next to her this whole time, meekly pointed towards a black thin folder resting under her elbow. “Alright, I got it”, she snapped.

She opens the folder and tosses a document in front of you. “Sign it”, she instructs, and her assistant almost immediately holds out a pen to you.

You stare at them with a puzzled expression and Sejoon, who had been standing in the far corner of the room, peers over in concern.

“I’ll read through it first...”, you were hardly even batting an eyelash at the whole situation now. After all the entire day has been incredulous on top of more incredulity.

Director Lee scoffs and was about to say something when Sejoon swoops in, grabs the document as well as your arm, hurrying to pacify the executive, “I will explain it all to her quickly and will get it signed by the end of today, Director Lee.”

---

“Clause 4.3, basically it’s just saying that this arrangement will be for an initial three months from today, and the management can decide whether to shorten or lengthen this term. Clause 4.4 says that you shall not speak about this arrangement with anyone outside the company...”, Sejoon was rattling all the terms written in the contract.

“... Clause 5.2...”, he paused and cleared his throat while scratching his forehead, looking rather uneasy, “... Clause 5.2 says that you cannot fall in love with Jungkook... ummm... I can’t read the rest of it to you, it’s too cringe for me... anyway point is that you should just stay professional ok?”, Sejoon gave you those little sheepish glances he was always so good at.

“What if I break any of these terms?”, you asked outrightly with folded arms, sitting across from Sejoon in the tiny pantry reserved for staff members.

“Ummm... let’s see”, he flips to one of the pages at the back, “here... you gotta return all the advance payment made to your company and its employees... meaning the payments made to Ssam Chun and Yuri too... and there’s a penalty sum”, Sejoon pauses again. “But Y/N, I hope you know this isn’t what should be of concern right? If you get into the bad books of the management, it’s not going to be just paying back all these monies.”

Sejoon was right, the power and influence that a relatively large company like BH would have, cannot be summarised in just monetary terms.

“I’ll think about it...”, it all made you more reluctant to sign off on that stupid contract.

“Y/N, there isn’t much of an option here...”, Sejoon said but he still handed the agreement to you, knowing you probably needed some time to come to terms with it.

---

You clenched the contract tightly in one hand and walked down the long corridor. This feeling was indescribable, you were confused, you were alone, you were afraid – it just felt so wrong and your entire body felt the weight of it.

You were trudging along towards the lift lobby when you think you heard Jungkook’s voice coming from a room further down. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but as you approached the room you heard a woman’s voice too.

“No Jungkook, it’s ok... I have no right to meddle in your private life like that”, she said coyly and you recognise that it is Yeonjoo’s voice. She had a distinct tonality when she spoke, and people often praised her for it – it was somehow cute and cool at the same time but not unnatural sounding.

“What do you mean, Noona?”, Jungkook sounded taken aback.

“I mean... if you are really dating her, I should be.. no, I am happy for you... I really shouldn’t have come down here today... but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened the other night and I hope nothing has changed between us...”, her voice was getting softer and you had to strain your ears to hear what she was saying.

You rolled your eyes, “she’s good”, you thought to yourself. This was a classic example of managing her fish farm and Jungkook was one dumb fish trapped inside. It's not that he can’t leave, he willingly does not leave, and she sure seemed bent on making sure it stays this way.

“No, Noona... you have no idea how grateful I am that you came down. They took my phone away since this morning and I've been stuck here wondering how I am going to explain all this to you... She’s really our new bodyguard, I mean... staff member... I didn’t even know her name before today! So how can it be possible that I am dating her?”, Jungkook was exasperated.

To think about it, half the people you have guarded before probably do not remember your name. Yet now he remembers you, even though it is for one of the worst reasons ever.

Just when Yeonjoo was going on about Jungkook not having to explain himself to her, someone taps your shoulder, giving you quite the shock and you lunged backwards almost hitting him in the process.

“Oh it’s you! You gave me a shock!”, Kijin exclaimed.

“Look who’s talking”, you mumbled snidely, glaring at the man who landed you in this situation in the first place.

“Oppa? Is someone outside?”, Yeonjoo called out.

Kijin gestured for you to enter the room, as though saying ‘would you rather go in yourself or have me drag you inside?’

The moment you entered, Jungkook visibly tensed up.

“Were you eavesdropping on us?”, his frown was so deep that you started getting a little nervous.

“I was just walking past, and I heard your voice so I wanted to see if it’s a good time to talk because there’s something-”, you were making an attempt to explain yourself.

“There’s nothing to talk about between us...”, he cut you off promptly and continued frowning, his tone was very hostile.

“Jungkook, there’s no need to talk to her like that...”, Yeonjoo gently chided him, “she probably isn’t happy about landing in this situation either, just like how you are feeling.”

Jungkook lets out a light chuckle, “Apparently her handphone wallpaper is a photo of me... so I really don’t think she’s feeling what I’m feeling right now”, he said rather dejectedly. This somehow piqued Yeonjoo’s attention.

“So you are a fan?”, her eyes were already pretty huge but it got even larger, “wow... and will you still be following Jungkook around for his schedule after all the... news?”

“Seems like it... it’s still my job to do it...”, you answered earnestly, regretting coming towards the room at all.

“You must really love your job”, Jungkook suddenly turned sarcastic and you felt a twitch in your chest.

“I do...”, you tried to keep up that professional posture but was sure that your insides were tangling up slowly.

“Even if your job is making a fool of you like this?”, this was the longest Jungkook had ever looked at you in your eyes.

“I’d rather be a fool”, you answered.

“As opposed to a ---?”, he asked, still with the same annoyance he had when you had entered the room.

“As opposed to a liar...”, you thought to yourself.

You decided to face the situation and his concerns head on. "Yes, I like you as a fan, but it won’t become anything else just because of this situation.”, you said as you put down the contract on the desk before them, flipping to Clause 5.2.

“Love is not an arrangement, and it can never come from a contract. This...”, you tapped the agreement slightly with your fingertip, “this is not love. And I'm not foolish enough to believe it is. So, you really need not be worried about it either. If nothing else, just know that... as a fan, I want you to be happy at the end of the day.”

“And I will be... if you can keep that promise...”, Jungkook replied after glancing at the page laid opened before his eyes. To say his words didn’t hurt you would be a lie, but there was also a sense of relief that at least he killed any hopes before they could be groomed.

Without answering him, you picked up a random pen from the notepad holder in the middle of the table and signed your name at the end of the document.

---

Love is a promise.

And you promised, never to love him.

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manggojooz · 5 years ago

Text

Foolish Love, Fake Love (Part 1)

pairing: idol!Jungkook x bodyguard!reader

word count: 2,412

genre: idol!au; angst; romance; drama

warnings: none

previous part: Prologue

summary: If all you can give me is a fake love, then I will be the fool to pretend that it’s all true.

♫ “I'm so sick of this fake love, fake love, fake love I'm so sorry but it's fake love, fake love, fake love” ♫

A punch lands heavily on your upper arm and you immediately stopped in the middle of the pavement, panting hard from all the running. Spinning to your side, you yelped at Yuri who was to blame for the throbbing pain.

“Can you please just change that ringtone already, it is so freaking embarrassing”, Yuri said through gritted teeth while looking around, trying to avoid the attention both of you had garnered in the park.

You stuck out your tongue at her and gave her a friendly push before taking your phone out to answer it.

“What’s up Ssam Chun... Yeah I’m exercising with Yuri... What, now? Ok, see you in the office”, Yuri could only hear your one-sided responses as she paces around you to cool down.

“Ssam Chun’s looking for us, something about a new job”, you huffed at Yuri, still panting since both of you were getting competitive during the jogging.

“One day I'm gonna change that ringtone myself”, Yuri mumbles as she walks back up to you.

“Heyyyy, I don’t touch your Park Seojoon wallpaper, do I?”, you griped.

“Yeah, and my Park Seojoon wallpaper doesn’t yell “I AM A CRAZY FANGIRL” in public, does it?”, Yuri challenges.

“Fine, I will change my ringtone...”, you conceded, and started to jog back towards the office.

“... when they release their new song!”, you yelled back at Yuri.

She rolls her eyes, sighs and gave chase after you.

---

“I told you I will give you the next tranch by the end of this week!”, a male voice bellows as Yuri and you approach the standalone shophouse in the alleyway sandwiched amongst worn down low-rise residential buildings.

You gave each other a little nod before dashing through the opened glass doors to see a pack of men standing around the room, cornering a few students wearing taekwondo outfits.

“These look valuable...”, a provocative voice chimes from a tiny woman circling the room, who swishes her hands precariously near a row of glass trophies displayed in one cabinet.

“Don’t touch them”, the man commanded as he catches her by her wrist just before she was about to land a finger on one of the fragile decorations.

She smiles a sly smile, “Don’t touch me.”

“This has nothing to do with the kids, let them go”, he insisted without releasing his hold on her.

“How can I let them go? They have to be here to be my witnesses... to prove that you grabbed me first”, she smirks with a pretensive demure tone.

“Ssam Chun, let go”, Yuri said sternly before turning to the devious woman, “We have called the police. You’d better get out of here now.”

“What good is having two ex-UFC fighters when you can’t even make money?”, her eyes cunningly looked between Yuri and you as she dusts her wrists with a disdain for the man who was holding on to them earlier.

Yuri restrains herself from launching at her but snidely retorts, “At least we don’t go around obstructing other people’s business or destroying their property.”

You had circled around the pack of men to stand between them and the students cornered inside the practice room.

The shrewd woman lets out a soft chuckle, “I wasn’t even going to touch anything”, she confidently rebuts as though waiting for someone to challenge her.

You had enough of her antics and with no warning you swung your fist a hair’s breadth away from the face of one of her minions and he catches your hand right as they flew near his cheekbone. Everyone immediately tenses in the room and the minion swears, while pulling you in and raising his other hand threateningly.

“I wasn’t even going to touch you”, you hissed at him. Turning to his female boss you spat, “Hey, Madam... he grabbed me first, we have witnesses too.”

She looked completely unfazed, giving you a crooked grin before turning on her heels to head out. “Three days”, she tosses her words as her pack of henchmen flock out behind her.

---

“How much do we still owe Madam Yoo?”, you questioned Ssam Chun after Yuri and you had sent the students home.

“That’s for me to worry, I am feeling sorry enough that the both of you have to constantly be involved”, Ssam Chun replied.

“We’ve talked about this before. You took us in and set up this company when we had nowhere to go. It’s our problem too”, Yuri rebuffs.

“What was it you wanted to talk to us about earlier?”, you sat down onto the floor mats after a physically exhausting morning.

“Oh right, that... There’s a junior I know from school, he’s a manager at some entertainment company now and he came to know that I’m running this Taekwondo school and bodyguard business. He reached out to me and specifically asked for female bodyguards. I told him I only have you two and I couldn’t let both of you do it since I still had to run the Taekwondo school.”

“Which entertainment company is this?”, you probed as the mention of it piqued your interest.

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t say, it seems very confidential. Anyway, I told him ‘no can’t do’, but he offered a really hefty remuneration, which will settle the entire debt we owe and still have excess... so now I’m on the fence, what do you girls think?”, the older man put forth his dilemma.

“What’s the job scope like? How many people are we supposed to be guarding?”, Yuri questions.

“He didn’t say either...”, Ssam Chun answered sheepishly.

Yuri and you both sighed in unison at the lack of information.

“He did mention it’s some guy idols and that if you guys are interested, he wants to schedule an interview later this evening”, Ssam Chun was fumbling around on his desk.

“Ummm, why do they need only female bodyguards. That just sounds very dodge”, you interrogated further.

“He said something about female fans. I think they already have a few male bodyguards but it’s difficult to only have male bodyguards around them, something about bad press...”, Ssam Chun was still ruffling the stacks of paper covering his tiny table.

“Ah ok, that makes some sense”, Yuri nodded, “anyway after the whole fiasco just now, I’m pretty sure we will lose another batch of students. No harm for Y/N and me to go check out this new stint”, Yuri concluded as she picks up a mobile phone hidden under a folder and hands it to Ssam Chun.

---

The manager that Ssam Chun introduces as Sejoon brings over all the coffee on a tray and sets them down neatly in front of everyone. The interview was fairly informal and he did forewarn the two of you that they have gone through many female bodyguards who weren’t able to handle the work.

“So you mean our job is literally only to shadow them and if any female fans try to get handsy, we just need to stop them?”, you asked after taking a sip from the latte you ordered.

“It’s not as easy as it sounds. And... they have quite a number of sasaengs... ‘Sasaengs’ are like...”

“We know what sasaengs are”, Yuri leans back into the sofa seat and sends Ssam Chun a smug wink of confidence.

“OK great... so you gotta look out for their sasaengs, if anything happens, we want to report them”, Sejoon claps his hands together in satisfaction, “I’m fairly happy with the credentials I see and as for the pay...”

“Yeah we are happy with what you proposed”, Ssam Chun quickly asserted, not wanting to give Sejoon a chance to change the offer.

Sejoon nods happily, finally getting one thing off his plate. “So when do we start?”, Yuri questions.

“Tomorrow? They'll be heading to an event, so I will drop by to pick you guys up tomorrow morning at your office, 10am sharp.”

---

By half past ten in the morning the next day, Yuri and you arrived outside the door to a photo studio. A sizeable crowd had gathered, but both of you have seen worse.

“Ok, that’s them, just get close to the door. The fans are going to dash at them so just try to keep them away, the rest of the managers and I will usher them in. Your job is to stop any of the fans from physically contacting them, alright?”, Sejoon instructed as he pointed at an approaching vehicle.

Yuri and you nodded in unison as you watched the shiny black van drive up to the entrance. Both of you stalk up to the door as it opens and you immediately freeze in position as you watch your ‘clients’ alight. You recognised them too easily, much to your horror. Yuri looks up at you in shock as well. The fans break out into a chaos, a symphony of familiar names echoing in your ears.

A rapid jolt of force sends you hurtling forward and bumping into Hoseok who was just getting out of the van. He instinctively tries to grab onto you but barely misses and you fell face flat on the gravel floor. Yuri rushes to you and quickly gets you up, “Do you want to be trampled over? What are you doing? Get a hold of yourself!”, she shouts at you.

You quickly got up and got back to doing your job, but the amount of fangirls trying to overcome the both of you was insane. They were pulling, pushing and groping their way forward and you felt violated in more than one way. You had no choice but to start physically pushing some of them back, making sure not to injure them in any way. The distance to the door must have been less than a fifty metres, but it felt like it took you an entire hour to get there. Eventually, you managed to enter the building behind the seven guys you were protecting and the doors were shut promptly.

You look up to see if Yuri was doing ok, and burst out into laughter when you saw how her hair was a crazy mess, resembling a bird’s nest that had been ransacked. She rolls her eyes at you before saying, “you think you look any better?”, to which you immediately stiffen.

---

In the waiting room, one of the managers, Myunghoon, was applying some ointment onto the minor scratch you had sustained from the scuffle. “The fans are really hard to control sometimes right? We worry that they will injure themselves too”, Myunghoon sighs as he finished applying a bandage over your injury. Before you could concoct a reply to reassure them that you were only caught by surprise, a boisterous music resounded in the room.

♫ “I'm so sick of this fake love, fake love, fake love I'm so sorry but it's fake love, fake love, fake love” ♫

The suddenness of your blaring ringtone gave you a shock. You were sure you had set your phone to silent mode, but you struggled to get your device out, turning off the disturbance as fast as you could. A gush of hotness rises to your cheeks and you squeaked out a tiny apology for startling everyone.

“Ohh, she’s a fan... so cute”, Jimin smiles at you, his eyes scrunching into that familiar crescent shape.

“Ugh I must say I don’t agree with your choice of song”, Yoongi complains lazily.

“Is that your favourite song? Who’s your favourite member?”, Jin asks as he stuffs his face with some snacks, “Or you don’t have a favourite?”

“I...”, you hesitated. You suddenly felt like you may be categorised together with those crazy fangirls.

“Hyung, when will learn to use the term ‘bias’?”, Taehyung chided with a little pout.

“Her bi...”, Yuri was about to blurt out your bias when you tugged forcefully at her sleeve to stop her.

You steal a glance towards ‘your bias’, he looks up and catches you for a split second before you awkwardly averted his eyes.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for a fan to be our bodyguard”, he commented rather seriously to his manager hyung, thinking you wouldn’t hear him amongst all the chatttering.

“Jungkook-ah, it took us a long time to find even these two female bodyguards...”, his manager was trying to pacify him.

“I just don’t like the fact that a fan will be following us around, what if she’s a sasaeng”, Jungkook whispers to his hyung sitting next to him on the couch but you could hear him clear as day.

“I’m not a sasaeng...”, you had taken offence over the suggestion but you replied as politely as you could, “... I didn’t know earlier that you guys were the ‘clients’. But please don’t worry about it, I will never let anything affect my work. If it makes you feel better, we have a service contract with lots of conditions stating what we can or cannot do. I have a lot to lose if I break the contract.”

Jungkook sits up after realising you had heard him. This whole time you had no idea where you mustered the courage to stare at Jungkook right in his eyes. You had always heard he was shy, but you realised he couldn’t even hold your gaze for more than a second without looking away.

“The set’s up, let’s go”, some guy knocked on the door and shouted. The members started to filter out of the room and you watched Jungkook saunter out.

“Sorry, it must have been a shock for you too, our company always likes to keep everything hush-hush. We are happy to have you girls with us”, Namjoon reassures you gently as he walks past and gives you a little pat on your shoulder. He was the last of the members to leave the room and the managers followed them out as well.

“I told you to change that ringtone”, Yuri eventually teased, trying to lighten your mood. But somehow it wasn’t to be lightened. You had always wanted to meet them in real life, but you would never have imagined it to be in this manner.

At that time you should have known, that as with all unexpected encounters, there is always a predictable fool who will think that it is ‘destiny’.

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