#Tulin is baby and also my son

[bugcatcherwill]

Rage Against the Calamity - Chapter 58: Hylian and Rito Hospitality

Bokoblins, Moblins, Lizalfos, and Wizzrobe. One of each has managed to break free from the Malice that binds them. With their tie to Ganon gone, these monsters must fight to survive in a world where everything wants them dead. Yet, things are not always what they seem. For as unforgiving a land as Hyrule, it will continue to surprise even the most hopeless hearts. This is the story of those four monsters, and all their unlikely allies…

Also on AO3

It was a few hours into the afternoon and all of Akkala Stable was in a ruckus. Rudi's loose lips had keyed everyone in on the Lab's little secret before they planned on breaking the news, and the stable's reaction was exactly what Hoz had been trying to avoid. The residents and travelers alike yammered on and on about the situation, the implications, and most importantly, what to do. Hoz's pencil-thin mustache twitched in aggravation as the mini-crowd refused to settle down. Desperately he tried to gain control.

"My fellow Hylians, can we please simmer down?" he said, getting completely ignored. He removed the steel soldier's helmet on his head, a relic of the past that was still in pristine condition, and clanged against it with his fist several times.

"Again, can we please have some quiet to discuss this?"

A few members of the crowd softened up, but the loudest ones only raised their voice - too enraptured by their own conversation to notice.

"HEY!!!" Rudi, the stablehand next to him, shouted as loud as he possibly could. That inflection was only used when he really needed to get control of the horses, but it worked on Hylians well enough too. The entire stable turned white-eye, even those that had stopped talking long ago, and brought their attention to Hoz and Rudi standing atop chairs.

"Now then," Hoz said, pinching his dark brown goatee, "let's try our best to come to a consensus civilly and quietly. Of course, we wouldn't have to shout if Rudi kept his damn mouth shut until now, but I digress."

The grizzled dirty-blond Hylian twirled one of his hair tassels bashfully. He couldn't help but blab, with his whole job involving shooting the breeze with the entire stable. Still, looking at the panicked faces below him, he felt quite a bit of regret.

"Since no doubt everyone has a different account of what happened in their head, despite only us two even being there, I'm going to clear the air and tell you all exactly what I saw. Alright?"

Hoz was already preparing for the worst. When you have the job of the only "soldier" in that region, a lot of your dealings with the public involve wild goose chases and petty squabbles where nobody could get their story straight. Weakly, several faces in the crowd silently nodded, letting him finally speak his mind.

"Good. Okay, this all happened during my morning patrol. I heard a commotion at the Lab up the hill, and I found Robbie and a few Sheikah trying to wrangle an Eldin Ostrich around. You all know Robbie, right?"

Those that lived around the stable and the regular merchants all let out a round of staggered 'Yea…'s, having seen the man come down for food and supplies numerous times. Although most interestingly, his grocery list had amplified nearly tenfold in recent weeks.

"I also, however, saw an assortment of monsters run out of the Lab, too. But the shocking part was their demeanor. None of them acted like usual monsters, and they seemed to help the Sheikahs wrangle the bird, yelling words of their own, though I couldn't hear what they were saying. I saw a Lizalfos, a Blue Moblin, and two Wizzrobe amongst them. Once they managed to get ahold of the ostrich, they all grouped together and walked to the back. That was the last I saw of them today. Rudi can vouch for me because he saw most of it, too…"

Eyes turned to the stablehand and he nodded confidently, his bushy handlebar mustache covering his slight frown. Hoz continued.

"To tell you the truth, it was actually…pretty funny to witness. Never seen a Moblin panic like that before, heh," he said to a very tepid crowd, forcing him to awkwardly clear his throat, "But as you can see, there's been no monster attack on the stable, or anything of the sort. There were no burnt crops, poisoned wells, or mind-controlled Hylians. I'm sure we would have noticed some of the outlandish things I've heard this morning, and I'd like to remind you all that rumors are dangerous. They can very easily lead to unneeded panic and mass hysteria, which is why I try to do my job as best as I can - to prevent these misunderstandings."

A few members of the crowd tugged at the collars of their shirts - embarrassed that they did exactly that.

"But that still leaves the unanswered question of why we saw non-hostile monsters seemingly living with Robbie and whatever other Sheikah were up there. I'm sure if I just paid him a visit, we could get an answer straight from the horse's mouth."

Like steam erupting from a kettle the entire crowd exploded with negative rebuttals - nearly screaming at Hoz to let him know their opinion on his idea. The soldier recoiled back holding his open palms out while fists were raised in objection.

"What are you, crazy?!"

"You got a death wish, Hoz?"

"No! Don't go up there!"

Hoz finally raised his voice loud enough to carry over the rest.

"Whoa, whoa, HEY!" he shouted, Rudi nodding with a stuck-out lower lip showing even he was impressed with that one, "Now I've known Robbie ever since I got stationed here! He's been nothing but kind to all of us and even solved a few of our problems. It's hard to believe he'd be up to anything malicious after all he's done to keep this stable safe…"

He deliberately left out the fact that Robbie had recently used the de-aging rune on himself, knowing it'd only seed more panic and crackpot theories. Rudi gave Hoz a side-eye, knowing the Sheikah man's secret too, but let it slide for now. That still did little to temper the growing mob. Many voiced objections, with one in particular patiently raising their hand to have the floor.

"Didn't you hear about what happened at Hateno? You used to live there didn't you, Hoz? It was all because of the Sheikah Lab there, and they were hiding monsters, too! The woman responsible and the monsters were never found in the wreckage, either! It must be the same group, and the same might happen to us!"

More jeers were hurled that made Hoz wince painfully. He just knew this would come up if he had this meeting.

"I've heard the stories, yes. It's nearly impossible to get anywhere in Hyrule without hearing it," he said, crossing his arms and desperately trying to maintain the voice of reason, "But remember what I just said about rumors? Or do you think they did exactly what we're doing now? Riling ourselves up over nothing but assumptions!"

He was met with immediate anger, an unknown patron going so far to hurl a crumpled up piece of paper at Hoz - bouncing harmlessly on his head.

"You're calling children almost getting eaten an assumption?!"

This was already spiraling out of control. Fists balled with exasperation, Hoz stomped his leather boot on the chair and nearly cracked it. Just enough silence broke for him to speak.

"Remember the Fang and Bone incident? The whole reason I came up to Akkala? Eeeeveryone was coming to me terrified of some evil dark-magic wizard that was selling severed monster heads and trying to kidnap children in the night! And because of all that I almost cut down some weird eccentric, but ultimately harmless, Hylian in cold blood! What an awkward apology that was, right?! And I feel like the only one still feeling guilty about it! Sound familiar to you?"

For the briefest of moments, the mob felt a modicum of shame. The near-trance they were snapped out of forced them to look at each other's panicked ghost-white faces and actually think about the logical next steps. Thankfully for them, a stray voice was not so easily swayed by reason and enabled them to throw the blinders on their brains once again.

"But this time it's an actual monster! Scratch that, monsters! More than one! We have to do something!"

The steaming kettle whistled again, the crowd now all yelling their various ideas - none of them particularly pleasant. Hoz threw his fists downwards and glared into each and every face he could see.

"Well I'm not giving any of you the key to the munitions shack until I see some proof that we should resort to that!" he shouted so forcefully his helmet went askew, squinting his eyes nearly shut and pointing his finger so fiercely it could poke an eye out, "And the key isn't even on me - it's hidden well. So good luck with…whatever you plan to do unless you convince me those monsters I saw are an actual threat! I was sent here to keep you all safe, and that includes stopping you from yourselves!"

The bloodlust in the Hylians' eyes finally relinquished, if only for a moment. While they were an angry mob, they were an angry mob confined by the superficial barrier of politeness. They could, for all intents and purposes, simply bust down the walls of the shack and grab whatever torches, swords, and bows were stocked there. But that would go against their idea of law - regardless of whatever they were going to do with them immediately afterwards that directly broke said law. Almost acting like a representative, a lone Hylian separated from the sea of the crowd. He was one of the permanent residents of the Akkala Stable that went by the name Khini.

"Well you can twiddle your thumbs and wait for something bad to happen! We will find the evidence ourselves to ensure our children can sleep safely each night!" he said with a huff, practically dismissing the crowd by himself.

Some Hylians dispersed entirely, realizing they still had their daily work and schedules to keep track of. A decently sized portion stayed, however, following Khini almost like how ducklings follow their mother. Exhausted bags under his eyes, looking as though he missed several nights of sleep, Hoz turned to Rudi who just morbidly chuckled in response.

"Now do you see what I put up with on a daily basis before you got here?" the stablehand said.

The soldier rolled his eyes, getting a sudden desire to reach for his flask normally reserved for nightly fun and take a long swig.

"I don't know why you didn't side with them considering how you reacted this morning," he said disdainfully. Rudi scoffed and readjusted Hoz's helmet with a petty flick of the finger.

"Tch. I'd sooner try to keep a Lynel in the stables. Besides, now that I've had time to think, all of this seems…off. I've seen monsters. Too many monsters. Those monsters I saw…they were monsters, all right, but they weren't monsters. I would like to know what really went down at Hateno."

Hoz wearily sat down in his chair and pouted, his thin mustache shifting to the left and to the right.

"You could come up with me and ask them, like my original suggestion."

"Do you think they will let us get further than ten steps?" Rudi said, motioning to the rowdy circle of Hylians plotting around a nearby table.

"Grrgh…fair point."

…

While Teba properly led Kobb up and down the village, the Bokoblin nearly gave itself whiplash from spinning its head around. It hadn't gotten the chance to admire the scenery when it was led around bound by rope, but now that Kobb could go as it pleased its hands spent a good amount of time gripping the wooden railings as it gazed across the lake and every which way between. Its large snout vibrated in content with every breath, desperate to keep that fresh breezy pine smell. Many of the other Rito denizens found Kobb pleasantly endearing, often laughing or smiling at its reactions. It'd been quite some time since there was a new visitor to the Village, let alone a special case like Kobb - and it was always entertaining to see someone's first experience. 

Before long the sweet and savory smells of cooking all around it started to get to Kobb, its mouth subconsciously watering. It had missed lunch due to this whole debacle and Teba could hear the angry complaints of its stomach. Stifling a grin, he led Link and the Bokoblin all the way down the spiral boardwalk to the floating fish farms that encompassed the rock archipelago of Rito Village. Kobb was in awe at how well everything was seemingly built into nature. For a while it forgot about the hunger pangs and just watched the Rito fishers walk all around the bobbing wooden platforms, peering into the square holes that led to the netted tanks, occasionally pulling a fish out to measure and weigh it, before taking notes and tossing it back in.

When it was ready, all Kobb had to do was pick out a fish from the tanks deemed "ready to eat", and the Ritos there would gut and prepare it on the spot. Link was there to help it choose a nice healthy one. From there all they had to do was walk back up and either cook it themselves, or pay someone at the inn to cook it for them. With a hearty wave Teba took off to meet them at the top - using the updrafts from the lake to soar all the way up. Kobb and Link had to take the grueling stairs.

But the effort it took made the first bite of seared Hylian Trout all the more divine.

Kobb softly squealed in delight the moment the flaky buttery fish passed its lips. The tips of its ears twitched in delight, leaning its head back with eyes closed, ready to dive in for more. It had to hold back its ravenous appetite just to savor every bite. Zayl's cooking was objectively better, but the fish being as fresh as can possibly be was hard to beat. Although it made sure to take notes watching the dish get prepared - ready to ask Zayl to replicate it as soon as it'd return. Both Kobb and Link ate at the table in Teba's house, sharing their meal with him and his wife Saki. She had been brought up to speed long ago, but there was a difference between that and actually sitting this close to a Bokoblin. Regardless, she welcomed Kobb with a smile and gave it a wide hug with her bright purple wings, telling it that every guest always gets a "mom hug". Link tried to tiptoe away, not exactly the most touchy-feely with most people, but was grabbed by the shirt collar and hugged all the same.

"You know, I never expected Bokoblins to look so adorable up close…" she whispered to Teba, who playfully rolled his eyes and pushed her on the shoulder. There was still an empty seat, one higher up and smaller than the rest, and Saki's impatience soon showed.

"Oh where in Hyrule is that boy, he disappears like a falcon in an updraft, I swear…" she grumbled, getting up and sticking her head out of their open-wall house. Link gave Teba a smarmy little eyebrow raise, who rolled his eyes again. He never liked to raise his voice, personally.

"Tulin! I told you already, dinner's done! Don't let it get cold!" she shouted, her voice echoing through the whole village and giving Kobb some secondhand embarrassment.

Less than a minute later it saw the spitting image of Teba, only much smaller, bobbing up and down as the Rito child ran as fast as his tiny legs could carry him. Unlike Teba, the little one's eyes sparkled like his mother's. His wings were mostly developed, but Kobb doubted he'd be able to fly like the grown Rito for at least another few years. That didn't stop him from trying - taking a big leap every few steps and flapping his wings frantically to slow his descent ever so slightly.

"Aw, c'mon, mom!" Tulin whined before getting promptly scooped up in her wings, "I was on a mission!"

Saki giggled and nuzzled her beak into her child's feathers, tickling him as he kicked his talons playfully.

"Ohhhh is that so? Well your new mission is to finish that plate in front of you, so my little fledgling can grow big and strong like your father!" she said, plopping him down in his seat and tying a handkerchief around his neck. Tulin immediately began scarfing his meal down, needing a little correction on manners, before finally looking up and nearly jumping out of his seat when he saw the familiar Hylian at the table - somehow completely glossing over the Bokoblin also across from him.

"Link!" he cried, the Hylian giving him a little wave, "You're here again! I've done so much since last time!"

Link leaned forward with an elbow on the table and the hand on his chin, giving Tulin his undivided attention.

"Oh, you have?" he said with a warm smile, playing the role of a visiting uncle, "What have you been up to since I've been gone?"

Tulin's eyes lit up again and immediately began talking a mile a minute.

"So first I flew all around Hyrule three times! And then I beat up a Stone Talus with my friend Molli all by ourselves! And then I used my bow to hit an apple from a THOUSAND steps away! And then…"

The Rito child chirped on and on but Link stayed attentive the whole time, egging on Tulin to go into the thrilling details, which he did with great embellishment. Teba and Saki couldn't help but smile when they looked at each other, seeing Tulin's beaming face. Eventually he was running out of his 'missions' to talk about and his attention strayed, finally noticing Kobb that had been sitting at the table the entire time.

"Whoa! You're a Bokoblin!" he said, pointing his wing towards Kobb's large snout. Teba and Saki tensed up a little, wondering what either of their reactions would be. Kobb simply straightened its back and puffed out its chest slightly.

"Yes I am!" it said matter-of-factly, having at least some experience with the boundlessly energetic youth thanks to Ashen. Tulin's eyes sparkled with intrigue as he had never actually seen a Bokoblin in real life before - only in picture books and stories.

"That's so cool! …Can I fight you?"

"Tulin!" Teba and Saki shouted in unison, their feathers ruffling from embarrassment as they tried to quell his loose beak. Meanwhile Link and Kobb nearly choked trying not to laugh from the sheer brazenness of the child.

"What? I could see what it's like to fight a real Boko-mmph mmpph!" he tried to say before Saki covered his beak.

"Heh, kids can be pretty blunt sometimes, huh?" she said, blushing through her purple and white feathers, trying to deflect from the faux pas.

Kobb just laughed it off, much to their relief.

"Heh. It is fine. I am used to bluntness - though mostly from ones much older than this one…" it said with a morbid chuckle before turning to the Rito child, "Tulin, you hopefully will not need to fight any Bokoblins, but when you are old enough to hold a sword on your own we can have a friendly spar."

A muffled "Woo-Hoo!" could be heard behind Saki's wing, causing both the mother and the father to sigh. Thankfully that day seemed far enough away that they wouldn't have to worry about it for a while.

Once dinner was finished, Teba took Kobb and Link over to Revali's Landing - which offered a beautiful view of the sunset. The whole time Kobb sat itself next to Link on one of the benches, it was approached by several of the Rito children. Before one even walked up, Kobb spotted the whole gaggle of them watching from a distance - arguing amongst each other over who should go up to it first. One-by-one they took their turn running up to Kobb and either saying some childish quip, or making a playfully rude gesture and running away frantically giggling. Sometimes Kobb would return the gesture or stick out its tongue and make a raspberry sound, causing the small Rito to laugh even harder and sprint back to the group. With every visit it'd look back at Link and exchange a knowing glance.

"You'll get used to it, they don't see non-Rito that often - especially in times like these." Link said, having dealt with this exact bombardment of nosy fledglings, himself. Just as he said that, another one ran up to Kobb.

"If…if you're a Bokobwin, where's your cwub?" she said, leaning forward and back on her talons with wings politely held behind her back.

"I do not have one!" it said with a shrug, "I prefer a sword, like how some Ritos do not use a bow."

"Oooooo…pwefer…that's neat! Mother warned me not to talk to the Bokobwin, but you're pwetty nice!"

That last comment especially broke Kobb's heart and it had to restrain itself from showing too much emotion as the child bounded back to the group, the rest of the fledglings cheering her on and patting her on the back before finally running off somewhere else. With a deep breath Kobb stood up and looked out from the landing across Hebra. But it didn't have a chance to dwell for long as it was interrupted by stomping footsteps and a loud AH-HEM.

It turned to see exactly what it hoped wouldn't be there: a very pissed-off Thrush standing before it with his wings crossed in a withheld rage. Kobb's attention turned to a spot on the Rito's leather tunic. It was pristine and unblemished unlike the rest of the uniform - with holes around the outline where stitching once was. The shape was that of the crest Kobb has spotted throughout the village and on the other Rito guards. The two stared each other down - Kobb matching Thrush's scowl as it had yet to hear a genuine apology from him. And it didn't think that was why he came. Once again several other nosy Rito perched around the landing, waiting to see the conclusion of this altercation.

Without a word Thrust reached his wing up and behind his head, prompting Kobb to instinctively grasp at its sheathed sword. However the disgraced Rito Captain didn't reach for his bow. With a near silent poink he yanked a good-sized feather out of his plumage. It was a beautiful deep sea green, perfectly uniform in hue. The feather was then whipped towards the Bokoblin with a sharp fwish. The pointy end stuck perfectly between the wooden planks of the landing right at Kobb's feet. The crowd gasped and murmurs filled the surrounding pine air. Kobb looked down then back up at Thrush, feeling more out of loop than ever, its scowl replaced with a surprised confusion.

"Well?! What is your answer, monster?" he shouted, beak quivering in rage, "I cannot sink lower than I already have so I might as well take you down with me!"

The Bokoblin's perplexed stare continued.

"You're being challenged to a duel of Rito combat…" Teba muttered, leaning over into Kobb's ear.

"...to the death?" Kobb asked back, shocked at the assumption that Thrush would risk his life to prove a point like this. Teba burst in a deep laugh, not expecting that question.

"No, but close! To establish the pecking order. To claim yourself as the superior fighter. Although for non-Ritos, I wouldn't-"

"I accept." Kobb said, snapping its head towards the challenger without even hearing the rest. While it wasn't the vengeful type, the prospect of knocking Thrush down a peg or two was too tantalizing to ignore especially when the memories of that morning were still fresh and bitter in its mind.

"Wait, Kobb…don't-" Link tried to say, knowing the Bokoblin was being hustled and it knew none of the details involving Rito duels. But it was too late now that the growing crowd had heard it say yes. Another gasp followed, along with Thrush beginning a quiet chuckle that grew to a roaring cackle.

"Hah! Haha! Ahahaha! I can't believe it! You actually accepted! No backing down now! See you at the range in two days, hope you can grow wings before then! You probably should have listened to your Hylian friend!"

Thrush leapt up into the air triumphantly and circled around the main spire several more times before flying off out of sight - his maniacal laughter carrying throughout the air. Feeling more sheepish than ever, Kobb turned with purple-flushed cheeks towards Link and Teba, who both looked at the Bokoblin with unamused frowns.

"I…what should I do now?" it asked, knowing better than to make excuses for the situation it sprinted head-first into.

"Now," Link said, pinching the bridge of his nose with an all-too-familiar migraine, "we get your archery up to snuff and somehow teach you to fly because your mouth talked faster than your brain…"

[thezoraprince]

BotW/TotK men as dads

i have baby fever that won't go away

anyway, here's a... something

enjoy <3

Link

oh it’s gonna be wild

most rambunctious child (including Rivan’s)

sweet and caring

but overall, CHAOTIC

will teach his child literally everything he knows

not many words are spoken, but there’s so much love

sign language is a big thing for sure

hugs galore

will defend his child as if his life depended on it

Sidon (i have so many for Sidon, so only adding a little bit here)

so confident

yet so scared

lots of learning

gentle

the love in the household is UNREAL

takes his kid everywhere Mipha took him

the fun is never ending

Bazz

so much unlearning

scared he’s not giving his child enough attention

wants to spend all of his time with them

think’s he’s not good enough of a father

doesn’t know how to have deep; meaningful conversations

doesn’t want to be like his own father

loves and cares SO deeply

once he gets past all the heavy stuff, he’s the best dad a kid could have

Rivan

already a dad, and a good one at that

literally so on top of his game

others cannot compare

takes his kid to work and shows them how cool everyone is

“Bazz is a little on edge because you’re here, but we won’t worry about that.”

the fun dad

Dunma babysits sometimes to give Rivan a break

but he ends up not going anywhere because he loves his little family THAT much

silly af

an actual dilf

perfect father

100000/10

Ledo

so gentle

so kind

will literally gift his kid rocks that look cool

teaches them everything Dento taught him

would probably ask Dento to babysit

has the most well behaved child out of anyone on this list

another apprentice in the making

would hand-make his child toys

Revali

asshole stepdad energy to start with

lots of unlearning

lots of re-learning

scared shitless

once he eventually realizes his actions have consequences, he’ll own up to his mistakes

ends up being a cool dad

“don’t talk to me or my son ever again” energy

takes his child to the flight range everyday

“You’re the best, and don’t forget it.”

Teba

already a dad, and a cool one

Tulin is such a good brother (but man is he a little shit sometimes)

the kids would go to the flight range and Teba would let them go by themselves

not like he has a village to run or anything…

a little more strict than the others on this list, but it’s out of love and safety

trusts Tulin to take care of his younger sibling

goes with both of them to the flight range once every two weeks to watch what they’ve been working on

wants the best for his kids

but doesn’t want to get in the way of their fun

Daruk

a cool dad

wise

also fun

would be the one to take his child to the skatepark

Goron City better watch out, because these two are fly af

funny dad jokes

would call his kid ‘kiddo’ unironically

“kiddo goro”

Yunobo

i cannot see this one as a dad

more like the distant uncle

but he’d be so sweet

and so caring

so afraid he’d fuck up

needs constant reassurance

gentle af

takes things too personally

Tauro

THE cool dad

dilf energy for sure

would take his kid to research the Zonai ruins

and he’d probably end up losing them 30% of the time

don’t worry, they know where they are

uses his research and findings for teaching his child

these two would be the most knowledgable people in Hyrule 

Rauru

the wise one

and SO chill

and helpful af

only takes part in chaos if it’s the fun kind

will shut down ANY ‘funny business’

defends his child with his life

together they pick flowers for Sonia

the love is unmatched

and the surprises are never ending 

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

First Impressions (will be adding as I play)

DOMESTIC ZELINK THEH ARE SO FUCKING CUTE (like PLS he is such a gentleman and is still a short king, we stan— and Zelda always worried about him 🥺)

Link lost an arm to protect Zelda. My guy sets a HIGH BAR

Once I fully understand zonai devices it’s over for you bitches

Rauru my main man gets a love interest. What a dude

NOOOO NOT THE WAY THE MASTER SWORD GOES TO ZELDY IN THE PAST IM SO AHSJKDJSBAHSJZ I MISS FI SO MUCH

yo Hyrule be lookin DIFFERENTT AND OMG EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR ZELDA AND LINK

Fucking SHOOT ME IT WOULD BE LESS PAINFUL THAN SEEING HOW MUCH EVERYONE CARES ABOUT THEM LIKE ????? GODDDDDD

DID A TREE JUST FUCKING ATTACK ME WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHIT IS THIS those scrubs really upped themselves ig

TULIN MY CHILD IVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED THAT IS MY SON!!!!!! THATS MY BOY!!!!! lol I love that the game points you towards Rito first bc no matter what the game wanted me to do, I was going to Rito village first bc I wanted to see all my CHILDRENN

Where the FUCK is Kass.

Not me avoiding both the entire East portion of the map in preference of going to Gerudo to see Riju

YOOOOO GIBDOS????? Need the suns song

OH LIGHTNINGGGGGG interesting I am DIGGING THIS and we get to go into Gerudo without disguise???? BANGERRRRRRR

I want my HORSE 🥲 silence my trusty white stallion where art thou

I’ve made it to Hateno and I’m fucking sick of these Koroks, like get up you lazy tree spirit are you fucking KIDDING me

ZELDA’S HOUSE!!!!! IS!!! THE!!!! HATENO!!!! HOUSE!!!! THEY LIVED TOGETHER!!! We been knew but OH MY GOD ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS WITH ALL THESE IMPLICATIONS. HIS HAIR TIE. THENEW TUNIC. THE KIDS DRAWING OF ZELDA. I AM GOING FERAL THEY ARE SO GODDAMN DOMESTIC

Yo where the FUCK is Kass.

Okay okay I’m having a time with paragliding so I’m just going to do Rito Village’s thing so I can get Tulin’s power

Lmao they’re not gunna kill off the babies like they did with the last champions…. Right?

LOL OKAY OKAY COOL THEY WONT CRISIS AVERTED but MAN I’ve fucked myself bc it is nearly 5a and my sister is coming over at 8a 💀

my HORSEEEE I HAVE MY HORSE BACK yo that is TRULY the best thing I missed my horse so much

Okay now I’m going to do the tears of the dragon quest bc WOOOOOHWEEEEE I miss Zelda

This was a fucking mistake it is 3am and I have to be up in four hours for work and I’m SOBBING bc ZELDA HAS SACRIFICED SO FUCKING MUCH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK NINTENDO

At least I have the sword 🥲

I’m loving everyone sending asks and talking to me about this game I love each of you SO MUCH… not as much as I love Tulin and Riju but still LOL

Yo I’m so fucking sad bc of Zelda rn I think I’m just gunna get a shit ton of shrines and explore the depths

THE DEPTHS ARE SO FUN AND COOL!!! I also think I found a temple in eldin ???? COOOOOOOOLLLLL !!!!!

What’s not cool? Yunobo being all macho macho man bruh when that is not the sensitive little Goron I know and love. Marbled rock roast? Sureeee Cuz that’s not suspicious.

Okay I’m going to avoid Zora’s domain and head to the great plateau…. Why the fuck is the Old Man’s Cabin inhabited by the Sheikah what the fuck is this

Okay so the Yiga are just camped out in Akkala too??? Bitches. Next thing you know Kohga is alive and in the depths LMAO

Now I’m going to Zora’s Domain bc it’s my last pit stop before I actually continue the story LOL… scratch that Imma head to Tarrey Town and see how the fam is doin! And !!! Hudson has a daughter!! Guess that answers my question as to how long it’s been between games lmao

I keep procrastinating Zora’s Domain OOOOFT but I’ll go there now for reals—Sidon is engaged??? Man was like “Omg bestie it’s been forevs btw this is my fiancé” like damn okay how long has it been since Link went to Zora’s domain

I’ve been searching for Kass and I’m having major doubt atp 🥲 I want my beloved songbird back

OKAY DUNGEON TIMEEEEE Imma do Yunobo and while I know it wants me to save Riju for last I simply cannot stay away for long so I’ll go there next!

Yo these temples are fire I got majorly concerned with the Wind Temple but it genuinely makes sense to have a more familiar groundwork for players to begin with that’s just different enough that you notice so it prepares you for the more complex classic Zelda dungeon twist the rest of them have

I’m annoyed all of their abilities require me like ‘asking’ their spirits rather than having a function button to summon it at will

Except for tulin bc he is my child and all is forgiven. And Riju bc she’s pretty and I love her

DID I FUCKING MANIFEST KOHGA BEING ALIVE AND IN THE DEPTHS?????? BITTTTCCCCHHHHHH I thought these people be straight up loyal but nah he ain’t dead, just chillin in the depths

Yo I thought I was at the end of the game but nope I find out that the Zelda I’ve been chasing is a puppet WOW who would have guessed 🙃

BUT THE WAY GANONDORF WAS LIKE “using her made it so easy to lure you into traps” like my man KNOWS

Okay okay fifth Sage down and now I’m going to the Hyrule castle chasm

Was no one going to tell me this might be difficult bc I’m just tryna sneak through but that ain’t happening LOL

I’m going to shower and eat dinner and THEN I’ll beat the game

Oh my god we back at the place we started I LOVE FULL CIRCLES

I’m going to fucking sob this has been such a good fight!!! Getting to use the master sword the entire time >>>>>

(Even though i legitimately used a lynel bow and bombs to deal most of my damage to Ganondorf… don’t judge me I am ✨strategic✨ and I only managed fo do real damage if I did arrows, arrows, dodge dodge dodge, flurry rush, backpedal it up)

ZELDA BEING MY HOMIE IN THIS DRAGON FIGHT WE LOVE TO SEE IT !!! She makes me so happy she went straight for Link to save him bc that’s simply instinct

🥹🥹🥹🥹IM SOBBING THIS IS SO FUCKINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS SO GOOD I LOVE HER AND I LOVE THAT WE GET TO DIVE AFTER HER AND ACTUALLY CATCH HER 🥹🥹🥹

Lifting her out of the water… Zelda waking up to the feeling of a warm loving embrace… telling Link “I’m home” and that she has “so much to tell” him… I’m going to need another box of tissues bc I be EMOTIONAL

Awe all the sages pledging themselves to Zelda

Link just being a silent supportive boyfriend bc homeslice can and will do everything to protect Zelda (and okay he already did a ceremony for this but let me have my shipper goggles on)

I’m just going to say it. This might be my favorite game. And I’m a diehard Majora’s Mask fan. Like that’s been my favorite for a WHILE. I miss the simplicity for some of the game mechanics but thoroughly enjoy the new creations we can make. I also understand zonai devices now so when Kass comes in the DLC it’s over for y’all

Anyway botw/totk zelink is canon and no one can change my mind

[the-grand-author-ne]

TEARS OF THE KINGDOM SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE WIND TEMPLE

Listen listen listen I love the new sages I love Tulin he's my little boy he's so scrungly and amazing and literally tails from Sonic heroes but also. The moment when he's like "Heck yeah this is so cool let's go tell my dad!" After being told he's supposed to save the world from The Apocalypse Incarnate just hit me with a wave of "oh God, I just enlisted a twelve year old in a fucking war. This baby is going to be fighting to the death. What have I done."

And then you go back to tell his dad who's like "I'm so proud you're going to war, son, here's my bow go get some kills in for me" and I'm like. I know this is a kids game and he's a magic sage and it's the call of destiny and everything but sir that is a child. That is your child why are you allowing this.

[mizufae]

I’ve finally been replaying tears if the kingdom. I had basically all but 100%ed the game last june, and then Korben got really sick and I was using the game to cope by running around and getting all the shrines and helping the dumb sign guy and finding all the wells etc etc etc etc, and refusing to go beat up ganondorf in the pit. And then Korben had to die and I stopped playing the game entirely. I’ve been wanting to actually play it but couldn’t bring myself to, and I was like, okay, I just need to wait long enough to have forgotten enough of the game so replaying it from the beginning is fun, and enough will be distracting for me so I don’t think about Korben every second of gameplay. So I gave it a chance this week and unfortunately, I am thinking about Korben every second, but, because I’ve worked through the worst of my grief it’s okay to think about him and the game is great. The only thing I don’t think is an improvement on breath of the wild is the stupid korok “I need to find my fwend” tasks, so I’m running around with too-few inventory slots. Here are some of my thoughts:

Hylians are actually the halflings of the world. Link is canonically short even for a hylian but even the tallest are teensy in comparison to all the other sapient species. Every time Link shakes the hand of one of their sage buddies they are absolutely dwarfed by the size. It’s only the babies that are smaller or equivalent to you average hylian. Your bird son Tulin is about Link’s height and he is just a baby - when you met him in breath of the wild he was knee high. Even the Gerudo, who are apparently hylian-adjacent, are usually twice their height, and the tallest hylians are about as big as the smallest Gerudo. The Zonai, also are huge. I feel like a significant part of Ganondorf’s resentment about the kingdom of Hyrule is some kind of height related bigotry.

They could have given us a butch Goron sage but they didn’t and I’m sad about it. It was a missed opportunity to make the voice actor for the faceless Goron sage someone with an ambiguously gendered (but still, yknow, husky/goron-esque) voice. Then people who would be annoyed by this probably wouldn’t have noticed and the people who would be delighted by nonbinary rock people representation would have been psyched. No need to change the models or animations of anything, either.

What gives Purah the authority she wields? She bosses Link around, but she also runs lookout landing, directs the sages, the research teams, and is basically the de facto world leader in Zelda’s absence. She’s a half-mad sheika scientist, not a politician or a general! She doesn’t even have divinely bequeathed royal powers. Does everyone just do as she says because otherwise she will fuck up their lives? Purah needs accountability.

[thenukacolachallenge]

some spoiler-y thoughts about tears of the kingdom thus far:

-FUCK GLOOM HANDS. i hate that everyone at nintendo saw our fear of spooky grabby hands and said “fuck yeah lets keep doing this forever”. i’m tired of being groped by very old men goddamnit! and then some of them turn into Phantom Ganon???? holy shit, that is a difficult fight. 80% of my deaths in the game so far have been at the hands(no pun intended) of these fuckers.

-ZELDA TURNED HERSELF INTO A FUCKING DRAGON AND I SOBBED LIKE A BABY. bruh i was not ready. SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF and her personality! but like, i havent finished all the main quests even though i got all the dragon tears/memory things so like, if Zelda IS a dragon, then who the fuck is showing up all around hyrule looking like her? is Mr. Dorf doing an evil magic to look like her like in that one memory? that can’t possibly be the case for all of the Zelda sightings. i’m so confused but so fucking intrigued.

-seriously though, watching Zelda sacrifice herself in order to save Hyrule and support Link is so upsetting. this girl was 16 the day the Calamity hit, and she hasn’t known a moment’s peace since then. give a bitch a break! but hey, at least she’s doing stuff in this one, whereas in most Zelda games, she’s just.... kidnapped.

-SIDON’S ENGAGEMENT STORY IS BULLSHIT. there is ZERO evidence of any other kingdoms existing for Zora outside of the Domain in Lanayru that King Dorephan rules over, it’s JUST to piss off people who ship Sidon with Link and that’s incredibly homophobic and annoying(especially since i had to fucking rewrite an entire part of my OC’s story due to it). and like, i feel bad, bc Yona seems like a lovely character, but she’s going to be HATED in the fanbase bc of the bad writing.

-speaking of questionable writing, there’s still so much i’m very fucking confused about. TotK obviously takes place several years after BotW, but they don’t specify how many and it creates a lot of confusion. why have some characters obviously aged up but some are still basically the same age? like, Hudson and Rhondson have a child who’s old enough to be sent back to Gerudo town, but Finley never hit her growth spurt(even though she clearly stated last game she was old enough to have supposed to hit it by botw)? what the fuck is that about?

-also, WHERE THE FUCK DID THE DIVINE BEASTS GO????? you can’t re-bury four fucking giant robot constructs in the span of maybe a decade, especially with Ganondorf reviving and creating a massive earthquake that unearths a fuckton of other shit. like, not having the Sheikah Slate i get(which is why the Purah Pad exists), and all the shrines and towers probably went back underground, but that part makes no goddamn sense and i don’t like it.

-i’m kinda sad Teba wasn’t the Sage of Wind and instead it was his son, Tulin. he really only got to shine in Age of Calamity, and most Zelda fans didn’t even play it bc it’s non-canon. the disrespect on my poor mans.

-i do love that so many of the towns are under new leadership now. it really feels like the world is evolving in that aspect. Teba and Paya being in charge of their respective towns is lovely to me.

-i love the idea that Link gave Zelda the house he dumped literally thousands of rupees into in Hateno, but like. where did he live? did they sleep together in the same bed? it’s implied Link no longer has a house bc you can make your “dream home” in Tarrey Town or w/e but like, ????? what’s that all about? Zelda just kicked Link’s ass out and made a secret room in the home HE invested in lmao, typical royal colonizer behavior(joking)

-i love that Grante, Robbie and Jerrin’s son, changed his name to Granteson so he could work for Bolson Construction. that’s genuinely adorable. he was already one of my fav tertiary characters just bc he’s Robbie’s son but this makes me like him even more. i also love that Jerrin is involved with stuff at the Lookout Landing! let Robbie’s wifey take care of stuff. even if it’s just cleaning. give her something to do besides glower at a machine her husband built lol.

-Kohga being still alive is hysterical, and the Yiga clan evolving to live partially underground is a lovely touch. them taking over old abandoned areas in the game is great as well. i also love that they flat-out do the “leave Mighty Bananas on the ground as bait to lure in unsuspecting victims” bit bc that’s EXACTLY how i imagined my OC fought them in BotW. i totally headcanon they stole that idea from her.

-tbh i’m kind of enjoying exploring the depths more than i am the sky islands. maybe it’s the fear of heights, or maybe it’s just that i really like that it wasn’t advertised at all. i thought it was just gonna be land and sky, but no! we’re going underground too babey~

-i love the addition of caves, wells, and other underground spaces. it makes a lot of sense for a game like this to have these things, and it makes me kinda sad they weren’t really a thing in the last one.

-the fusing thing is just okay. they didn’t really fix the issue people had with durability in the last game, so that’s annoying, but it is fun to make new weapons out of things at least.

-overall i really like the game so far. even though it’s a world most people have explored through already, there’s enough change and new content to make it fresh and engaging, and even though there’s another crisis, it’s heartwarming to see how people are finally being able to rebuild after the century-long crisis that was the Calamity. i’ve beaten one boss character so far(the Rito one) and i’m looking very forward to the rest!

[moonshotsx]

Bestie I’m curious now 👀 how would you rank the champions and sages? Fav to least fav ofc

Also it’s me Kit again hello 👋

hi kit!! ofc i’d love to 😌

1. urbosa, 1000% my favorite character from the botw era. she’s just so interesting, especially with her connection to zelda (calling her little bird is the cutest thing ever 🥺). as for her ability, c’mon now she can summon lightning by snapping her fingers thats so badass, not to mention her swordsmanship 😮‍💨

2. riju, SHES MY BABY MY DAUGHTER, i loved seeing how much she matured between botw to totk. from having been thrown into the command of a whole race at age 12 to a badass sage of lightning in her later teens, she’s so likable and fun to be around (also patricia is iconic pls)

3. mipha, she’s just so tragic, having accepted the role of champion because of her love for link (the detail of the description in totk of the zora armor where it explains it’s tradition a wife would make the armor for her husband, confirming that mipha really wanted to be with link one day if she survived the calamity)

4. mineru, she’s just so cool, i love how she’s very into creating new technology (and that may be lowkey the reason i ship her with purah 😭✋🏻). also she sounds hot i will admit fjjfjd

5. tulin, MY SON, the happy face he has when he first sees link again in totk 😭😭 while it would have been cool to have teba too, i appreciate they went with the route of tulin being the sage

6. sidon, now talk about a pansexual KING 😌 fjdjd i felt for him during botw, he’s the only one to have actually known one of the champion first hand, and his sister to add onto that - his need to prove himself (that we also see in aoc) and his desire to not let anyone else he cares about die like she did is such a perfect driver for his character

7. revali, that annoying lil bird twink (affectionate) 😭✋🏻 i know a lot of people don’t like him because he’s an asshole but based on other ritos designs, it might actually be because he was still a very young adult when everything went down, so no wonder he’s a little shit compared to teba jdjd

8. duruk, he seemed like a chill dude who loves to watch link eat rocks fjdjdj i don’t feel particularly either way for him, just want to thank him for saving my ass with his champion ability lmao

9. yunobo, i know he doesn’t mean any harm but god is he annoying with all the whining in botw 😭 he gets a bit better in totk but still isn’t my favorite of the bunch

[venlycat]

tulin kills. everything for me. literally. and I love him so much for that. my speedy baby brother and also son he is so <3333

I love u little guy

POV: An Electric Keese caused you to drop your sword

[birdbrainrots]

Tulin my baby boy my beloved. My son.

But also TEBA AIN'T THAT OLD HELP?

[scarlethallow160]

gerudo townnn

did a bunch of exploring/side stuff and now finally continuing with le story and riju’s new design is so cute i love her haircut!

i will say now that im close to having all of the companion characters avatars, it still makes me sad that teba basically got replaced 😭 like thematically it makes sense, and its not like tulin came out of nowhere, and i love him he is my son, but i dont think teba even had any spoken voicelines in totk?? idk it just make me kinda sad cuz he was the one to help link in botw and now we can use everyone else’s abilities but teba just. not there 😔 sidon is my fav but teba and riju are tied for second

and i feel bad cuz i like yunobo! he’s cute! but overall the gorons just do not appeal to me very much design-wise and goron city isnt nearly as interesting as the other regions (i feel like its music doesnt help either) imo and im sure thats a boring take but character design is a big thing for me so i just dont feel as attached to him 😭😭😭

been running around with tulin’s and sidon’s avatars tho they are my (link’s) son and husband and then i will have my daughter riju

also as other ppl have said it also makes me sad that like. all traces of the champions are kinda gone or they’re not rly mentioned. i mean mipha has that court named after her now, i think riju only mentions urbosa in her diary, daruk’s carving is there, but as much as i dont care for revali its like he’s utterly nonexistent? cuz i think the others were tied to the champions by blood except for revali and teba. they could have at least kept the divine beasts around :(

kinda makes me want to play aoc now. i’ve been seeing clips on tiktok lately and want to see more of the champions as well as the current companions (i didnt bother with it before cuz its non-canon and im not a huge fan of timefuckery stuff like that—like adult sidon meeting his baby self—but……i want to see more of those characters)

[mythicalartisttm]

Have you played botw2? If so, what do you think of it so far?

I've been watching playthroughs! I can't afford the game rn, but I hope to get it myself eventually! In part for the experience, in part bc the ppl I'm watching play are hardly looking in the direction I want to. A game with so many options means that no one will play the same way, so that means if I want the best TotK experience, I'll have to make it for myself.

That said, the game thus far is driving me nuts (/pos and derogatory).

First and foremost, the game is trying to sell the fact that Hyrule and it's founders only came into play just before the Imprisoning War??? Baby, I understand that Hyrule could have been refounded after Ganondorf came in guns blazing after having just squashed the Hero and Princess of Time, and so Sonia and Rauru would be rebuilding Hyrule and re-establishing the monarchy. That makes sense. But that's just straight up not the case! I could go over all the timeline inaccuracies right here but my brain hurts trying to put it into words. The LoZ timeline has been a mess for over 20 years but this is the first time it's contradicted itself without a fix from what I've seen.

Naming the king Rauru was a fun little detail though, I like that 🙂

Speaking of Rauru, I have only seen as much of him as the Great Sky Island and one (1) tear, but he's going into the Fictional Dads of All Time folder. Both a goat and a G.O.A.T. I do not know much about Sonia yet but I like her. Both the king and queen really scored on marriage partners imo.

Tulin, my son. I have not played the game but the AI is so darn good it's job and he's saved the guy I've been watching so many times. I do kinda wish we could've fought alongside Teba but dang, Tulin is not just good, he's a really fun character in his own right and I'm glad he's here.

I haven't as strong feelings about Yunobo but he is a delight to be around. Rolling him around and smashing stuff is quite fun as well.

Bonus that I've taken to naming the sage mimics. So far we have Terin and Shobae. I've already decided to name the next (last?) two Raja (pronounced "rah-hah") and maybe Po (Po and Sidon).

Mostly unrelated, but Tulin's champion ability reminds my of the LU Champion AU craze from a a while back! That was the first thing I thought of when I saw Tulin use his power for the first time and it made me chuckle.

It still doesn't feel real to have the name of Zonai popping up in so many places in-game. Like, wow. Ok. I guess this is happening. This has still not sunk in.

Speaking of which, did you know that the Zonai tech was originally Sheikah tech in development? I'm actually really glad that it got changed because using a different kind of tech with it's own distinct color/aesthetic not only separates TotK from BotW, but it also prevents the Sheikah tech from getting stale. I wish we could maybe see some more Sheikah tech aside from the towers and the Purah Pad though, just to make it feel like it hasn't totally up and left. I did see a comment on yt say that the ppl of Hyrule probably dismantled the divine beasts and other weapons so they never have to worry about the tech turning on them again. I think that's a good way of looking at it, although the removal of the towers felt highly unnecessary from an in-universe perspective imo if they're just gonna build new towers.

Side note that when that one character (I can't remember if it was Purah or Josha) called them Skyview Towers my SS brain went 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

There's for sure more I have to say but this is all I can call upon atm! Thank you for asking <3

[bugcatcherwill]

I don’t know why but imagine this is a post botw idea: ashen and tulin are exploring one of the new caves and are attacked by some gloom controlled monsters (gloom works like temporary malice) only to be saved by a friendly horrorblin pack that basically adopt them till their parents or for ashen “parent” pick them up.

This idea came from when I unlocked the horrorblin mask and the interaction basically looked like link got adopted by how much the horrorblin walked over and sniffs at him making look like it’s snuggling/nuzzling with him like he is a baby horrorblin (which I swear link must look like to lynels and moblins when he wears their masks XD)

And the reason I say ashen and tulin is because of their friendship and them being kids probably would get lost in a cave (from my experience with cave like likes tulin has been swallowed and spit out by those things ^^, my best friend didn’t believe but I told her that the travel buddies can be “eaten” but she had a good laugh when I told her it) and run into trouble in it

Omg that idea sounds adorable I really can't wait to write the Tulin and Ashen interactions when Tulin grows up to be baby-that-can-fight-but-still-baby.

I think Ashen would also be a great foil to Tulin since the kid thinks he's invincible and is still a little too overconfident (even though he definitely lives up to it my son can hit so many headshots in-game). So they would have this playful rivalry going on where Tulin hates to lose but Ashen's just Ashen so it loves the competition no matter what.

And God I forgot that the sages can just be eaten by Like-Likes its so funny. My favorite moment was blowing something up and a stray rock just bonked Tulin right in the head and he went flying like a Looney Toons character. I felt bad for laughing but he shook it off like a champ lmao

[botwstoriesandsuch]

wait what happened with sooga I am backreading and confused

For just twenty dollars, YOU can buy a gay little DLC, that is ALSO homophobic at the same time. Package deal!

Ok but for real, it's not actually thaaat bad. Like it's bad, but also I experienced every single up and down of the DLC at like 1am so naturally my emotions were heightened and my posts might exaggerate such feelings that but BASICALLY Sooga has this flashback to when to when he was a starving kid(/teenager????????? it's in first person POV so it's hard to say) and it basically just shows Kohga finding him giving Sooga a banana and saying something like "this isn't free! you gotta repay your debt one day." Actually wait, it's probably on Youtube by now I can just show you--

So Sooga’s injured and they’re both running away from the Blight/Hollow things right, and then we get a fade to white flashback

So basically Sooga was adopted into the Yiga by Kohga after he was found starving one day, at some indeterminate young age. And I believe this scene is also meant to explain Sooga’s devotion to the Yiga/Kohga because they helped him when he was dying, and he has that mindset of “paying back his debt” to Kohga.

And then back to the present where the Blights find them

So Sooga does some Yiga magic stuff to hold the Blights back just a bit longer, and Kohga runs off, comically yelling, I might add, even though I imagine this was intended to be a serious scene.

Also note how this was like two seconds after Kohga was making clear that he wasn’t going to leave Sooga behind but ok whatever.

And then it’s implied Sooga dies, and to be fair this is a badass way to go, but the homophobic fix-it “aha nonono they are not husbands, see he’s just very devoted because Kohga found him when he was dying they’re not gay” scene deprives me of any strength I have to compliment anything else in this scene.

So its just this very ham fisted master and student/father and adoptive son dynamic that is overall not great no matter which way you interpret it. It’s not the worst, most disgusting thing to ever happen in the history of gay gaming or anything, but its also! not! great! I would not be surprised if there was a meeting in the Koei Tecmo board room about making a scene specifically to make clear that Sooga is not gay.

Obviously they still failed, since literally in every other point in the game, Kohga and Sooga act gay, and there’s not a speck of “adoptive son” or “resolute servant” dynamic anywhere. Need we be reminded that this was still Sooga’s introduction in the game?

they’re fruity. and I’m not just talking about the bananas.

So yeah that’s that. Also Sooga is white which is probably the greater failing of this scene honestly. Let’s just go back to focusing on Tulin or baby Sidon or something ok

[cinnamonpretzelboy]

Just some more details on the characters in my Zelda AU

Link:

Names hes used and roles he’s been: Link, Thistle, scarred champion, Wild, Hateno Phantom, Yigas bane, intern to doctor Purah, Slate, Field tester for ancient armor mark 2, linkson (honarary Bolson construction worker), Aryll, possessed one, fierce diety, godling, wrath of the goddess, hunter, Madius

Adventures or jobs link has been on: Botw, linked universe (forced his way out of it though), behind the scenes aid in AoC through leaving supplies and thinning monster hoards before the champions got to them but didn’t want to deal with Revali or Rhoam, also didn’t want to deal with his past self (closest he got to direct interference was just prior to AoC link pulling the sword and Fort Hateno) despite his limited interference he was still seen by some of the people back then (baby Sidon, Impa [she attempted to follow him but she lost his trail], terrako, and Tulin), bonus links whatever the story ends up being, mercenary work, cartography, and sheikah tech research.

Other general stuff: Impa trained him before he faced ganon, he is the best potion maker in hyrule and made many varieties other than what is seen in game, he helped to train Riju, he fights with a very diverse skill set but after training from many teachers he’s always got strong swordsmanship to fall back on.

Links family (post calamity):

Link: Immortal or atleast eternally youthful without using magic to fabricate aging (his eternal youth is only after botw 2 in this AU so he’s like physically 26)

Zelda: friend, girlfriend, wife. Died 7 AR (after resurrection)

Riju: adopted sister

Teba: father figure

Yunobo: little brother / protege

Sidon: adopted brother

Astra: first daughter, born 4 AR, Researcher, primarily fights with light magic but after Sunny’s death picked up archery, dies 145 AR of natural causes

Sunny: second daughter, born 6 AR, archer, explorer, died 23 AR yiga, had healing magic

Penumbra: biological mother to Brigo and Aria, adoptive mother of Astra and Sunny , twili, links current spouse, shorter than Midna but not by much and same height as post divinity Link, born 19 BR (before resurrection), uses magic to slow aging to live with link longer / keep her youth, dies 681 AR from natural causes

Brigo: son born 12 AR, half twili, trained by sheikah (fights like Impa does in AoC with a bit of shadow magic thrown in) can perform something similar to urbosas fury

Aria: third daughter born 46 AR, half twili, fights very similarly to how Link did post resurrection but subbing flurry rush and bullet time out for magic (jumping into opponents shadow, dins fire) and hand to hand

Both Brigo and Aria can use magic similar to the arm shown in the botw 2 trailer (green life magic shit)

Fi -> Identia: the spirit of the sword, Link awoke her and helped her to heal and become her own being and think of herself as more than just a weapon hence the name change as I saw in a skyward sword review where the reviewer thought Fi was derived from ‘identify’ so I thought it would be neat to pull a name from the same word to show growth but also stay true to the roots of the character. Able to manifest a more human form like ghirahim relationship with link is for me to classify right now.

After Sunny’s death Link wiped out all the remaining yiga and any that did survive are too scared to make another move on him

[totk-headcanons]

How would the Champs (and maybe New Champs, if you're up to it) confront a child bullying they're own kid? (I hope that made enough sense)

Let’s face it, Daruk’s kid could stand up for themselves, but he would definitely show up to provide not only encouragement, but also defense in case the bully takes things too far. Besides, who would continue bullying Daruk’s kid when he’s right there. The guy’s intimidating.

Yunobo’s kid is a little less confident in himself when it came to defending themselves (be it physical or verbal) and will go home crying to their dad. The next day, Yunobo will confront the bully in a counselor kind of way, trying to be respectful and kind. “Hi, I’m _____’s dad, and I don’t know what happened, but I feel your anger is being displaced wrongly unto my child.” Ultimately, the bully will laugh and say he’s a dummy too and will run off to do more of satan’s work, leaving the two sweet gorons to sulk in their feelings.

Nobody dares to mess with Urbosa’s kid, and not because they’re her kid, but because Urbosa didn’t raise a kid who can’t fight back. She’s the type of mother who would argue with the principal when she’s called to the school because her child beat up their bully. “That punk shoved my kid to the ground, and you’re punishing them for defending themselves?” She holds nothing back in front of the bully and the bully’s parent too.

Riju is just as protective as Urbosa, but her kid doesn’t know how to fight. Riju always taught her kid to treat others with kindness and to show respect to everyone regardless of who they are and what they did. Riju raised her kid to become a diplomatic leader of her people, not a warrior. “Kill ‘em with kindness” is her motto, but when her child is hurting, her teachings fly out the window. Instead of confronting the bully in front of an authoritative adult like a principal, she takes matters into her own hands and confronts the bully herself. “You better leave my baby alone or I’ll make you wish you never even breathed the same air.” It’s not the most responsible way to deal with it, but it works.

Revali’s kid, unfortunately, is an easy target. Revali is a proactive dad, he’s involved in a lot of his child’s life, and kids bully him for that, calling him a ‘daddy’s boy,’ or making fun of how Revali speaks and acts (and sometimes his height, too, but that’s not about his kid). Revali finds out when he overhears it happening. His kid would never tell him that they’re being bullied because of how embarrassing he is. Revali confronts the bully by saying “I love my kid and since that concept is so foreign to you that you cut them down to make yourself feel better, I’ll start packing a lunch for you too,” and proceeds to embarrass the other kids, as well as making them feel loved.

Tulin is so utterly sweet and pure that when Teba finds out he’s being bullied, he’s genuinely confused. He takes extra time to observe the kids around his son and quickly notices the odd behavior from some other chicks. He takes a subtle route, placing a firm and protective wing around his son and making eye contact with the bullies, before sending his son off with a nuzzle of his beak. He’ll inquire about the bully chicks when his son comes back home and continue observing for a few days until they show disinterest.

Mipha is such a doting mother, it’s really cute! People see her and think, ah what a sweet mother! But piss her off or threaten her kid and you’ll soon find out that her skin isn’t so smooth. Instead of taking a physical approach, she would take it directly to authorities, in this case, the principal. She threatens the head of command, rather than the kid, and says if nothing is done then she will expose their lack of action and ruin their reputation. Needless to say, don’t swim in the shark tank.

Sidon is oblivious to the bullying until his kid runs up to him one day and proudly says “I beat them up! I scared the bullies away!” When he hears about it, he’ll bombard his kid with questions, particularly “why didn’t you tell me?” He won’t do much, mainly because his kid already dealt with it, but he will definitely keep a closer eye on his kid and their interactions with other kids.

Link doesn’t want to force knighthood onto his kid, but luckily for him, his kid loves and admires their dad so much, they wanted to learn! Normally, kids don’t want to pick a fight with his kid for two reasons: 1) they know how to fight and use a sword, and 2) why? Link’s a good guy, the hero of Hyrule, and his kid is a good kid who stays out of fights and drama. But there’s always one who pushes their boundaries, and when they do, Link doesn’t particularly do anything. He kind of laughs at the idea of this bully. But his child isn’t really bothered by it anyways, so as long as that remains, Link won’t intervene.

[mod makar]

[sage-nebula]

Breath of the Wild Update Photo Post

It’s that time (and perhaps the final time?!) once again, my friends. Since I haven’t posted screenshots in a long while, you get them all in this post. I’ve actually done everything in Breath of the Wild that I plan to do for now (aside from beating Ganon a second time and doing the DLC quests when they release), so this should theoretically be the last post like this that I make. That said, there will be spoilers for some shrine quests and other things, so be wary of that moving forward.

With that said---have this:

Okay, as funny as these pictures are, you have no idea how much of a pain in the ass it was to complete this. I spent literal hours, in real life, trying to trigger a Blood Moon. I want to say it took about four in real life hours? Possibly more? It was ridiculous. Never put me through that again, Nintendo. Please. 

However, I do like how ridiculous Link looks, standing in his underwear under a Blood Moon, hehe.

“I don’t even want the Thunder Helm,” I said. “I’m only getting it so I can complete the sidequest,” I said.

Yeah, okay. That opinion has since been revised. The Thunder Helm is awesome. I know it might be hard to tell, but I swear to god the third pic was taken after the second. I can stand there and allow Link to be electrocuted and he takes no damage so long as he’s wearing the Thunder Helm. How cool is that?! It came in very handy for the Thundra Plateau shrine quest, let me tell you. Thank you for letting me borrow it, Riju. Much appreciated.

tfw you get to have a chat with a baby. (Okay, really, Farosh was just minding her own business, but it looks like she was looking directly at Link.)

Look. You can’t blame me for trying. (It didn’t work. I got electrocuted. Maybe if I wear the Rubber Armor + Thunder Helm, though . . .)

Friendly reminder that Link is the commoner of the Champions’ Host Club.

This entire song was a host of Zelink goodness, but I especially like this bit, because “hand-in-hand” sounds so equal, and yes. Yes, they are equals, especially in this game when Zelda has been holding Ganon prisoner for one hundred years. 

I’m very amused that you’re not allowed to say “nah.”

Tbh, I probably didn’t have to have Link in his underwear for this one, but if you think I wasn’t going to be as Extra™ as possible when taking on a challenge from The Most Extra of Goron Brothers™, then you’ve got another think coming.

Like, okay, listen . . . you can slump over, half-dead on the pedestal if you want. But could you just, idk . . . move a liiiittle bit to the left so that I can activate the shrine? Please?? (She couldn’t, ofc. But honestly, if she had just let me activate the shrine, I could have warped back here when it was time to finish the quest, but no. No. I had to paraglide back like some sort of fool. Honestly . . .)

I took this screenshot because I saw a post a while ago where someone said they were receiving hate for drawing Link muscular, and that’s nonsense because Link is canonically more muscular than the average Hylian. True, Romah here was comparing him specifically to Hylian women, but I think the point stands, particularly when you consider all of the fighting + climbing + running he does over the course of the game. The boy is built, let him live. (And in any case, don’t send people hate over how they choose to draw fictional characters, ffs. That should be common sense, but here we are.)

At this rate I think that everyone in Gerudo Town is going to know that Link is a dude, only none of them are going to realize that everyone else knows it (or like, some will know---Riju and her attendant know that they both know, for instance, but they don’t know about everyone else), and so Link is still going to have to dress like a girl in Gerudo Town because, even though everyone knows and is chill about it, everyone still thinks it’s this big secret, except Link, who knows that everyone knows but isn’t saying anything about it because he doesn’t want to cause drama. Beautiful.

I do, but mostly because that broken stone slab makes me think of the Gate of Time from Skyward Sword and it gives me an emotion™. (It’s not the Gate of Time, but I’d be shocked if that’s not what it was based on.)

You guys, I’ve done it. I’ve found him. I’ve found the worst character in Breath of the Wild.

Do you know how much I hate it when people do this? Do you? Let me tell you something: I work at a university’s IT Service Desk. I have, in my time working here (both as a representative taking on the majority of the calls and as a coordinator), had the misfortune of speaking to professors who insist on being addressed as “Doctor” and get angry if you don’t call them that. Despite the fact that they’re calling because they can’t figure out how to set up their e-mail in Outlook, or because they don’t realize that they have to turn off Caps Lock before entering in their password, they need it known that they are clearly more intelligent and important than the peon Service Desk representative giving them technical support, and as such need to be addressed by their full, wholly pretentious, title. And I hate it. I can’t stand it. It’s so disgustingly pretentious and arrogant that it sets my teeth on edge. Few things will make me lose respect for a person more than insisting that they’re addressed as “Dr [name].” Few things. It’s so disgustingly pretentious. Get the fuck out of my face, you intolerable cretin.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to choose that option. Alas, to get the shrine quest, I had to give in to his pretentious obnoxiousness and address him as “Dr Calip” instead. Ugh.

On a lighter note, this is Jules, and I want her to be my gf. Note: I don’t mean Link’s gf, I mean my gf. I mean, if Link wasn’t in love with Zelda, maybe his gf . . . but since he is, she can just be my gf for this game. Seriously, she’s adorable. I love her.

Selfie with the gf. Isn’t she perfect?

I tried to buy her a ruby circlet, but the game wouldn’t let me give it to her. >( Damn it, game! Just let me buy jewelry for my gf!! (I reloaded so that I hadn’t wasted money / gems on it, since I have no use for it and I couldn’t give it to her, but damn, that’s disappointing. =( )

It’s a bit hard to see, but there’s a sand seal racing shrine quest, and Link does stretches before the race starts!! He’s so cute, istg.

He also cheers when he wins. LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS.

Gerudo!Garnet thinks I’m perfect. :)

I accidentally missed it, but there’s a scene after this where everyone claps and cheers for Link for winning the race, and he rubs the back of his neck all sheepishly. ADORABLE. Honestly, Link, tone it down a notch. (jk, you are perfect, just as Gerudo!Garnet says.)

Loone euthanized her faithful shrine orb more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.

This beautiful family really does put on a beautiful performance of the Dragon Roost Island music. ♥ I only wish the mom could join in, too . . .

I mean, tbh Kass, you’ve been gone for a really, really, really long time, all so that you could gallivant around the countryside, giving me shrine quests. I think it’s more than a little understandable that they want to spend time with you now that you’re home. Don’t be a jerk. :/

This sounds like my kind of shrine.

This REALLY sounds like my kind of shrine. 8D

This was really cute, too. ♥ Namely, Link’s response of, “Hey, Tulin!” Honestly, Teba probably ties with Riju as my favorite of the Neo Champions. (I know this isn’t Teba specifically, but it’s his son---Teba’s inside.) I wish that we would have gotten to spend more time getting to know Teba. (And more time with the Ritos in general. They had such a small part, it feels unfair.)

And finally . . .

DAMN STRAIGHT I HAVE.

I mean, I already have that. It’s called the Master Sword. But sure, okay, sounds good.

Again? Got it.

Really, I know what this is: Once you complete all the shrines, you go to the Forgotten Temple in order to get the Breath of the Wild version of the green tunic. I find it interesting that they send you to the Forgotten Temple instead of the Temple of Time. It’s not like this is your first time seeing it; you have to clear all the shrines to unlock this, so unless you saved the Forgotten Temple shrine for last, you would have already been there once. I feel like this is further evidence that the Forgotten Temple is a tribute to Skyward Sword---that the statue there truly is the Goddess Statue from Skyloft, and therefore Nintendo felt it more significant than the Temple of Time (which is a bit sad, but I can live with it). Who knows for sure, though.

Just kidding---you actually can’t. Although, I do take interest in how that’s phrased. Like . . . what would happen if Link did seek to increase his power further, somehow? Would that throw his heart out of balance? Would he suddenly be worthy of the Triforce of Power, due to the thirst for power in his heart? Hmm, I wonder.

Sis, I’ve been tryin’. 

Anyway, sis had three chests sitting in front of her, and inside the three chests were . . .

You’ll notice that the “Trousers of the Wild” are actually shorts. And the description says, “they’re the most comfortable pair of pants you’ve ever worn.” So then, Nintendo . . . what you’re telling me about the “Trousers of the Wild,” then, is that these shorts are comfy and easy to wear, am I right?

. . . I’ll see myself out.

Hideous. :/ I’m not saving Hyrule in that. 

Okay, full disclosure: I’ve been weary of the green tunic for a long while now. I hate the hat in particular (sorry, RR!Link, but I’m not on your side on this one), but in general I’ve been weary of it and wanted a change of pace. For this reason, the fact that you have so many armor variants in this game was like a goddess send to me. I’ve really loved it.

But if they were going to give us a BotW rendition of the tunic (and I figured they would), why did they have to make it so hideous? Full disclosure part two: I hate the versions of the tunic that have Link in shorts. They look awful. They could have styled the BotW tunic more along the lines of the OoT one, or the TP one, but no, they went with the original, and like . . . I know why, but it’s still ugly af. Link is not wearing this to save Hyrule. I refuse.

This is an improvement, but I’d probably want to dye the pants brown or white so that it would look better, as the black doesn’t really “go” with this outfit.

And this is a further improvement, though honestly, it doesn’t matter since the tunic really isn’t worth it. From what I hear, the green tunic set is never stronger than the Champion’s Tunic, so honestly, I’m going to continue on with my standard fighting fare, which is the Hylian Hood + Champion’s Tunic + Hylian Trousers. They’re all at four stars right now (versus the zero stars the Wild set has), so there’s really no point in wasting my time with the ugly green tunic set. Maybe if they made it actually look good I’d want to wear it, but seeing as how it’s hideous . . . I’m going to see if I can sell it instead. =P

Anyway, that’s it! I’ve got one more post coming up for sure (more of a game stats post than an update post), but aside from beating Ganon once more (and the upcoming DLC), I’m done. It’s been a, dare I say, wild ride (;D) but definitely worth it. I love this game, it’s so good. I can’t wait for the DLC missions and things. ♥