#Try to find more reference for him but every portray is different

[kairukitsuneo]

Blurr wants you to keep a secret 🤫

[darkleysgarden]

"Jason was the violent Robin!" Uhhhh, no!

Jason was different than every single other Robin for one huge reason. He didn't choose to be Robin. Obviously, he jumped at the opportunity. But, it wasn't the same as Stephanie already being a vigilante or Dick being set on revenge or Tim who just straight up begged for the mantle. Jason wasn't like that, he was asked.

Jason was a street rat who had recently watched his mother die because of her drug addiction, his father was a criminal who skipped (and he later found out had died because of that field of work).

And what Bruce saw was potential where Jason saw an opportunity to have someone to care for him. Jason gained this father figure, becoming the first child Bruce adopted.

And Jason was overjoyed. He was happy. More than any other Batman-Robin duo, they were father and son. Jason quickly started referring to Bruce as his father, Bruce calling Jason son. To the degree that they even used those titles when working as Batman and Robin.

So, Jason was an extremely happy Robin. But, that isn't the extent of it. Jason's childhood never really left him. His whole life he had to fight to live. Survival of the fittest. And if someone moves to hurt him, or anyone who can't protect themselves. He sees reason to become the fittest. To become a fighter that eliminates anyone praying on the weaker. Because he was once the weaker.

And that's where the Felipe storyline comes in. Felipe was a r*pist and Jason wanted justice for the women he had hurt. And this is the spot where people say they can see the signs. The signs that Jason would become a killer of killers. Bruce told Jason not to go after Felipe alone. He did anyway. And Bruce went after him. He saw Felipe fall off a balcony, dying upon impact. But, then, he saw Jason on that same balcony. Making Bruce wonder if he really fell, or if Jason had pushed him. Bruce knew they had different views. Bruce thought people could be scared into not acting again. Yet, Jason thought, "What about the ones who aren't afraid?"

Jason says little to defend himself. Just saying he must have spooked Felipe, causing him to fall. We never find out if that's the truth.

Bruce now worries that maybe Jason's past wouldn't allow him to become a Robin he could have at his side. Jason was forced to take a break from being Robin.

During his break, Jason returned to his old neighborhood in Crime Alley. A friend of his deceased mother stops him and explains that she had saved some of his important documents and photos for him. Jason took the box of belongings back home and went through them. A lot of it had been damaged by water. Including his birth certificate. As smudged as it was, he was able to realize that his mother was not his biological mother. After some detective work, he narrowed it down to three women that could most likely be his mom.

Now here's where I hate it when he is portrayed as reckless. When Jason ventures to the Middle East to try and find his mom, he and Bruce check in with each other many times. And Bruce was in the area too, searching for the Joker.

He finds his mother, Sheila, in Ethiopia. They get along well. Bruce was even there for their meeting. And when Bruce needs to return to Batman work, he leaves the two to catch up.

It's unfair when Jason is portrayed as reckless in this moment too. He didn't go after the Joker on his own. He talks with his mom instead. Assuming she would become a permanent part of his life, he confesses that he is Robin. It's then that Sheila admits something too. She had been working for Joker. The Joker shows up and near instantly he starts to beat Jason with a crowbar. Sheila turns around and smokes a cigarette.

When Jason is on the brink of death, Joker stops. And says he can leave no witnesses. He ties Sheila up and sets a bomb. Then Joker leaves them alone. And with the last bit of life in him, Jason struggles to free Sheila from her binds. Sheila attempts to get the door open to save the both of them, but she is too late. They both died from the explosion.

So, this is to say. I do think calling Jason the 'happy Robin' is far more accurate than the 'violent Robin.' And I think that because, as you can see, he was never really unnecessarily violent or reckless. And it should be recognized that even the more violent acts, like Felipe allegedly, were not premeditated or extremely out there. Jason didn't want to hurt people just to hurt them. In his eyes, he saw it less as hurting this one person, and more as protecting many. That will stick with him. Yet, it becomes much more prominent after his death with the trauma and such. However, entire new can of worms.

It's also important to see scenes like this, where Jason encourages Bruce not to kill Joker. As Robin, Jason never set out to kill. That came much later. And even later, he sticks to morals.

Also, listen to him!!! Modern DC content, please stop pretending Sheila wasn't there and just making Jason go after Joker on his own. You're messing up the story.

Jason always saw the world differently than Bruce. Yet, he hardly acted on it until he was shown just how cruel the world really is. When he became the weaker that needed to be protected, and wasn't. And now, as an antihero, his goal is to stop anyone else from ending up in his situation, even if it takes killing those at the top. Trolley problem. Killing one may save thousands.

[requiemforthepoets]

first encounter ⟢ CL16

⟢ part two of you’re the closest to heaven that i’ll ever be

𖤓 series masterlist ⟢ playlist ⟢ part three ☽

PAIRINGS: charles leclerc x celestial!reader

SUMMARY: all thanks to leo, charles finally got the chance to meet you—the celestial being who has consumed his every waking thoughts, and managed to find out new things.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: bible angel names references, some people may find this fic offensive, concept of divine beings and heaven & life and death, no use of y/n, angels and devils, mentions of papa leclerc (beginning is set in 2017) and jules bianchi, fluff, falling (literally & figuratively) in love, named side characters, angst but with a happy ending, purely written fic, a little bit of world building (concepts), mentions of death, bad/evil people, cursing, not proofread, and typos.

WORD COUNT: 5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this fic may not be some people’s cup of tea, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. sorry it took me a LONG time to post the part 2 of this series, i already have this on my drafts but never got the time to check on it bc i’ve been working on my other series (fa14 series), but finally, here it is! the part 3 may take a long time to be posted again 🥲 but you don’t have to worry bc i intend on finishing this series. taglist is open for this series, so just comment or message me if you want to be tagged. your comment/reblog is highly appreciated, and i hope you’ll enjoy this second part of the series!

It was a warm late afternoon in Monaco, and Charles had finally pulled himself out of his apartment, hoping that some fresh air and Leo’s cheerful company might turn off the constant thoughts running through his mind. Since that night in Singapore, you had been all Charles could think about—the image of you standing before him, looking at him as though you knew the secrets he hadn’t even dared to ask himself. Charles had barely gotten a word in before you disappeared, leaving him with nothing but more questions.

The park was mostly empty, allowing him and Leo to stroll without the usual flood of cameras or people hoping to get a quick word with him. Charles enjoyed these rare quiet moments, watching Leo run through the grass, capturing photos of him mid-leap, his ears flapping, and his tail wagging in pure delight. For a while, it was peaceful—that is until Leo began barking persistently, his gaze fixed on something in the distance.

“Leo, calme-toi.” Charles called, trying to soothe his normally docile dachshund.

Leo rarely barked at nothing, and Charles couldn’t see what had him all stirred up. As he looked past Leo, his heart skipped. There you were, standing at the edge of the park, just as he had remembered you, dressed in black, untouched by the brightness of the world around you, as if you had stepped from a different realm entirely. Slowly, Charles walked over, kneeling beside Leo, who was still barking.

“Can you see her too, buddy?” Charles asked softly, but Leo only turned his head back towards you.

His barks began shifting into a delighted whine, tail wagging as though greeting an old friend. To Charles’ amazement, Leo took off towards you, bounding across the grass with uncharacteristic excitement. You bent down on one knee as Leo reached you, his small body pressing happily against your touch. Charles just stood there and watched, captivated by the whole sight, how your hand moved over Leo’s fur, and how the dog responded, oblivious to the fact that what he felt was something beyond the ordinary. You then looked up at Charles and smiled, a gentle, knowing expression on your face.

“Hello, little one,” you murmured to Leo, reaching out to stroke him. Your gaze followed Leo’s figure as he trotted back toward Charles. “He’s a beautiful soul. It’s clear how well you take good care of him, he is very happy with this life.”

Charles swallowed, taken aback by the warmth of your words. He felt a huge wave of relief washing over him, and somehow, you were not a figment of his imagination. You were in front of him, speaking to him, your voice soft but firm, grounding him in the reality of your presence.

Noticing a bench nearby, you gestured, “shall we sit?” Charles nodded.

He followed you as you walked, though he kept glancing around as if worried that someone might catch him talking to thin air. The two of you sat side by side, your gaze focused on Leo as he scampered around, while Charles couldn’t seem to look anywhere but at you. The silence between you felt almost sacred, deafening, thick with all the unspoken questions he longed to ask.

“I know you have many questions,” finally, you broke the silence. Your voice was gentle. “Especially as to why you can see me, when others could not.”

Charles let out a shaky breath, nodding. “I—I don’t understand. I’ve seen you before, but you keep on disappearing, and no one else…they never see you.” his voice was a soft murmur, filled with confusion and wonder.

“Our kind, like myself, we’re not meant to be seen by human eyes. We’re here to watch and guide, but only from afar. Most humans only sense us as a passing feeling, a presence.” you softly said, as you studied him with a faint smile. “But in your case, you see me. Truly see me.”

“Why, though? Why am I able to see you?” Charles’ brows furrowed, his gaze intent on yours.

You turned to look at Leo, who was now sitting a short distance away, watching the two of you with a curious tilt of his head, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Leo.

“It’s rare, Charles. But sometimes, there is a connection between our kind to your kind that goes beyond the veil. I’ve thought about it myself, and though I don’t have all the answers, it’s clear that there’s a reason you and I keep crossing paths.”

Charles’ heart raced. The way you spoke, as though fate had woven an invisible thread between you had left him reeling. He glanced around the park, reminded of how strange this conversation must look to anyone passing by, but he did not care at all. The need to understand, to know you, outweighed any risk of prying eyes.

“Maybe…maybe we should go somewhere less public?” Charles suggested, his voice low.

He did not want this moment to end, he couldn’t let you disappear on him again before he had the chance to understand this kind of connection. You looked at him for a long contemplative moment, then nodded.

“All right, lead the way.”

Charles led you quietly through the streets of Monaco and up to his apartment. He hadn’t said much on the way, clearly lost in thought, yet there was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. When you entered his apartment, you immediately noticed how it held an essence of him. Warm, understated, and filled with memories. The walls were decorated with framed photographs spanning his life from childhood karting days to podium celebrations in F1. Trophies were all lined up on the shelf, and each piece seemed to carry a story of its own.

You were drawn to the photos, especially those capturing his relationships, the warm smiles he shared with his family, playful moments with his friends, and candid shots of him and his brothers. Then your gaze settled on one particular photograph, and a bittersweet feeling bloomed within you. It was a younger version of Charles, perhaps in his teens, standing alongside a man whose face you recognize. Jules Bianchi.

Charles noticed the direction of your attention as he finished filling up Leo’s dog bowl, and he stepped over to join you, his expression softening as he saw the photograph. Jules had been so much more than just a mentor to him. The man in that photo had shaped parts of his soul and his dreams. You could feel the weight of Charles’ emotions lingering in the air, a tender ache mixed with recognition.

“You knew him?” Charles’ voice was quiet as he stood beside you.

You nodded softly, your own voice taking on a gentle tone. “I was there in his final moments. I was the one who guided him when he was ready to go, helping him crossover.”

Charles’ face was a mix of expression, caught between surprise and disbelief. For a second, he seemed unable to respond, the information settling slowly. You watched him intently as he took a deep breath, grounding himself.

“You…you spoke to him?” he managed, his voice strained with a mix of sorrow and longing.

“Yes,” you said, your voice steady but tender. “I spoke with his soul as he lingered between here and the afterlife. It was…peaceful. He was calm when I arrived, almost as if he knew he was not going to stay.”

You paused, “I then asked him about his life, what his favorite thing about life was.”

”He told me that his family meant everything to him. He then mentioned being a godfather, and his dreams for his protégé, a young man named Charles.” you added.

“He said that?” he whispered, breath hitched as he instinctively reached up to touch the frame, his fingers resting just over the image of Jules’ face.

“He spoke of you with such pride, with hope that you would go on to achieve everything he had dreamed for you. Jules saw himself in you, Charles. His last thoughts were with his family and you.” you looked at him softly. A quiet rage simmered in Charles’ eyes as he turned to look at you, his voice tinged with frustration.

“But why? Why couldn’t you let his family speak to him, too? They waited for so long, hoping he’d wake up, to say goodbye properly.” the raw pain and anger in his voice were unmistakable.

Charles had not meant to question your intentions, but the loss of Jules had carved a wound that had never fully healed, and in his grief, he momentarily forgot you were not human. You looked at him with a soft, understanding smile, letting the weight of his sorrow wash over you. You had witnessed this kind of reaction before, how those who are grief-stricken often felt deprived of closure.

“I understand, Charles. If I could have done differently, I would have,” you replied, your voice gentle but firm. “But it wasn’t his body I spoke to, it was his soul. Jules was already watching from the other side, beyond the reach of the physical world. In those moments, he wasn’t in his body anymore, he was seeing all of you from a place where time no longer held sway.”

Charles looked down, processing your words, the anger fading slowly as he tried to keep his emotions steady. He tried to reconcile his emotions with the reality of what you had just shared. He ran a hand through his hair, gaze fixed on the floor as he took in a shaky breath.

“So he…he was watching us all along?” he whispered.

“Yes,” you assured him. “He was with you. Every tear, every moment spent beside his hospital bed, he saw it all, even if he himself couldn’t respond in a way you wished for it to be.”

“Souls don’t always leave the way we want them to. They transition gently, often lingering just to be close to the people they love.” you added. Charles’ shoulder slumped slightly, and he let out a shaky sigh, nodding as if finally accepting what had once seemed unimaginable.

“It…it makes sense,” he murmured. “Jules was always calm, even in the most difficult moments. Maybe he knew it would be easier this way.”

There was a peaceful silence that settled between the both of you, the only sound being Leo’s soft footsteps as he padded over to sit by Charles’ feet. Charles looked at you again, the sorrow in his eyes tinted by a glimmer of gratitude.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, a sincerity in his words that touched you deeply. “For…for being there with him, and for telling me.”

You gave him a reassuring nod, feeling the depth of his appreciation. “He is proud of you, Charles. More than you know. You are honoring his legacy every time you step onto the track.”

Charles closed his eyes briefly, absorbing your words, a new sense of peace settling over him. He knew that the ache would remain, but perhaps now, with you there to share this part of Jules’ journey, it would be a little easier to carry.

Eventually, you found yourself seated on the barstool, observing how Charles moved around the kitchen, gathering ingredients as he prepared a dish called pasta, and noting the way he moved with a quiet confidence. He seemed at ease, but you could tell by the occasional glance he cast your way that he was still processing everything. The strange connection he had with you, a Celestial he could see but others could not. As he stirred the sauce on the stove, he broke the silence, glancing over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

“So…what exactly are you?” Charles asked, attempting to sound casual, though his curiosity was clear. “Are you like an angel of death or something?” his brows furrowed slightly as he added.

“No, Charles. I’m not here to take you away,” you assured him, tone gentle, and couldn’t help but smile at his suspicion. “Think of me as a guide and a protector. My duty is to help souls cross the afterlife, to make sure that they are not alone and lonely when they cross the other side.”

“So, you’re…you’re not here for me?” he asked, his voice tentative. You could see the worry in his eyes, as if he had been half afraid that he might be speaking with the very spirit that would one day guide him out of this life.

“Not at all,” you replied. “I’m here because, somehow, we have this connection. I was there in the hospital room, with your father, when you saw me for the first time. It was a natural part of my duty, I was waiting to guide him. Just as I was there for Jules.”

“So you only appear when…someone’s close to death?” Charles’ gaze dropped to the countertop, and he nodded slowly, as if piercing it all together.

“Typically, yes,” you replied. “Humans are not meant to see me. They may sense it, a presence, calmness, or even a cool warmth when I’m near, but that’s usually all. So, I could not quite understand why you could see me. It isn’t common.”

“But I can see you.” he said, almost to himself, as if still trying to grasp this phenomenon.

“Exactly.” you looked at him thoughtfully. “Over time, as I have watched over you, you’ve somehow become aware of me. It’s as if the bond between us allowed you to see me when others can’t.”

You let the words hang, hoping it answered the mystery that had puzzled him for so long. Charles turned back to the stove, his movements slower, as if he were allowing himself time to absorb what you had just said. After a moment, he turned to look at you again.

“Back in Singapore…I kept thinking of you, wondering if you were real or just in my head.” he hesitated, then continued. “And you appeared, it was like you sensed me or something.”

“That’s precisely what happened,” a gentle smile crossed your face as you saw the gears turning inside his head. “I could feel your thoughts, your longing to see me, and so I came to you. Your thoughts, they called to me.”

“But why do you always disappear?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and exasperation. “Every time I think I already have you here, you’re gone the second I look away.”

“It’s not by choice, Charles.” you met his gaze, understanding his frustration. “My presence here beside you is not permanent. I have duties beyond just watching over you, it is my duty to guide other people as well. My duty is to help those souls cross peacefully into the afterlife, which means I’m often called away. That’s why I can’t always be here, even if you want me to be.”

“I understand,” he said softly as he looked down, absorbing your words. “It’s…strange, but it does make sense.”

A comfortable silence fell between you and Charles as he took out a plate and transferred the pasta dish on it. You could still feel the wheels turning in his mind as he processed everything. After a moment, you spoke again.

“If you want me to be with you, well, there is a way.” you said.

He looked up at you, now intrigued. “A way?”

You nodded. “Yes. If you light a match or a lighter and call for me, then blow it out, I’ll hear it, and I’ll come to you.”

“Why a match?” Charles’ brows furrowed as he considered it.

“Fire.” you explained. “It is a symbol of transition. It’s an ancient element that is used to connect realms, to call forth spirits, and to bridge the distance between worlds. When you light a match or a lighter, you are creating a momentary flame that connects you to my realm, and when you blow the fire out, it becomes a message—a summons. I’ll hear it, wherever I am.”

“So, I just…call out to you, light a flame, and you’ll come?” Charles’ lips curved into a small smile.

“Yes.” you returned his smile, feeling the warmth in his gaze. “As long as you need me, Charles. Wherever you are, I’ll always find a way to be there.”

Charles looked at you with a mix of gratitude and something deeper, a newfound comfort that seemed to settle over him. In that quiet moment, Charles reached for his fork, but his gaze lingered on you, a newfound clarity softening his features.

“Thank you.” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

He then placed a plate of pasta right in front of you, and you tilted your head, looking at the dish with sheer curiosity and slight confusion. Charles noticed your expression, stopping mid-motion as he raised his own fork.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice gentle but genuinely concerned.

“I don’t…eat,” you explained softly, gaze flickering between him and the plate, offering him a small, apologetic smile. “Celestials don’t have the need for food, so I don’t know what it’s like to taste something, let alone pasta.” you could see a flicker of surprise and something that almost looked like offense pass over his face.

“What? You’ve never tasted pasta?” he asked, shocked, as he looked down at his beloved dish, looking genuinely horrified. “Pasta is…it’s comforting, it’s warmth and tradition. It’s something everyone has to try.”

“Okay, imagine this—it’s soft and a little chewy, warm and…kind of like a hug, but for your mouth.” he added, grinning at you with his eyes lighting up. “And with this tomato sauce, its got this balance of sweet and tangy, a bit salty too, it just…makes everything feel better.” his expression softened.

You watched Charles as he spoke, entranced and touched by his earnest attempt to describe something so familiar to him yet so foreign to you. Spending this time with him, watching his animated expression, hearing his heartfelt explanations, you begin to understand why his father and Jules had spoken of him so warmly in their final moments. Charles was not only passionate, but genuinely kind and unpretentiously funny. There was a gentleness to him that touched your heart, even if it couldn’t beat the way a human’s did.

Hours slipped by so fast, and you both found yourselves seated on his living room couch, talking quietly, the evening light fading around you. Charles asked questions after questions, fascinated by your world and by what you do. You answered each one as best as you could, and with each answer, his awe seemed to deepen. You shared stories of guiding other souls, moments of peace and love you had witnessed. He listened, hanging onto each word, and you could see a newfound calmness in his eyes.

While you were in the middle of telling him a story about guiding an elderly woman who had waited until all her children were by her side before letting go, you heard a soft sound. Glancing to your right, you found Charles with his head tipped back against the couch cushion, his breathing steady and calm. He had drifted off, exhaustion settling over him like a soft blanket. For a moment, you just watched him, studying his peaceful face. Charles’ long lashes rested against his cheeks, and a gentle warmth seemed to radiate from him, a stark contrast to the chill you carried with you.

A quiet yearning tugged at you as you lifted a hand, your fingers hovering near his face. You wanted, just once, to feel the warmth of human skin, to know what it was like to truly touch, but you know better. If you let your fingers graze him, he would only feel a cold wisp of air, a reminder that you didn’t belong to this world in the same way as Charles did. So, reluctantly, you lowered your hand and simply looked at him, memorizing the moment.

You had spent nearly the entire day with Charles, and though part of you longed to stay, you knew it was time to leave. Quietly, you stood up from the couch and made your way to where Leo was resting nearby. You knelt down beside the little dachshund, who lifted his head to watch you with those soulful eyes, tail giving a soft wag, and you reached out, your fingers ghosting over his fur.

“Leo, I know that your past life was not kind to you and had been cut short, but you’re safe now. In this life, you’re well taken care of and so loved.” you spoke softly, as Leo seemed to tilt his head, like he understood every word you say. “Charles is a good man, he will love and take care of you, always.”

As you straightened up, Leo continued to watch you, his eyes filled with a sense of understanding. You turned to take one last look at Charles, still asleep on the couch, chest rising and falling in steady rhythm. A soft smile crept over your face as you watched him, there was a wave of warmth washing over you, even without a heartbeat to drive it.

With a final, quiet glance at Leo, who looked back at you with trusting eyes, you let yourself disappear, and slipped back into the unseen world that had always separated you from the people you guided. Yet, for a short moment, you knew you had left a part of yourself with Charles and Leo in that Monaco apartment.

Charles woke up with a dull ache running through his neck, reminding him of the night he had spent sleeping on the couch. He rubbed the sore spot, groaning slightly as he tried to stretch out the stiffness. For a moment, he just sat there, gathering his thoughts, until the memories of last night’s memory surfaced. The conversation, quiet moments, and then the emptiness when he realized you had left. He sat back on the couch, staring at the ceiling as a sense of longing settled over him, a quiet ache that wasn’t so easily stretched away.

A small bark drew his attention to Leo, who was sitting nearby, watching him with an endearing tilt of his head, and noticing Charles’ contemplative state. He smiled and reached out, calling Leo over.

“What do you think, Leo? It was one strange night, huh?” Leo padded over gently, wagging his tail as Charles scooped him up, holding him close.

For a few minutes, Charles simply enjoyed and basked in the warmth of Leo in his arms, the familiar comfort that Leo offered in the midst of all the strange, unexplainable things that he was feeling. Last night had been a fever dream for him, but he knew that it was real, that it happened.

“Do you think it’s strange? Wanting to see her again?” he added. Leo just responded with a quiet, comforting look and nestled close to Charles.

After a while, curiosity began to gnaw at him. Charles could not shake the desire to know more about you, as to why he felt this pull, this connection that seemed impossible and yet so real. He padded into his bedroom, grabbed his laptop and settled in, typing Celestial Angels into the search bar. Countless articles, myths, and even fiction flooded his screen. Charles sifted through several pages, skipping over anything that seemed overly romanticized or far-fetched, until one article caught his eye.

The article spoke of Celestial Angels who formed deep bonds with their humans, describing how they acted as protectors, watchers, and guides. It mentioned the rare connection that could occur, a phenomenon where an angel might become so deeply intertwined with a human soul that they developed a sense of longing or even love, something that was both a blessing and a curse for the Celestial. As he read further, Charles could not help but wonder if this was what he had experienced, if this was the reason he kept seeing you, why he felt such a pull toward you.

Charles then stumbled upon a book: The Celestials by an author named Celestine Williams. The cover featured a faint, ethereal image of a figure wrapped in light, the silhouette barely discernible, much like he imagined you, and the description noted that it explored the stories and folklore surrounding Celestials and their interactions with humans, a deep dive book. The reviews were glowing, a few feedbacks talking about how the book shed light on the mysteries of these beings and the unique connections they could form. Without a second thought, Charles clicked buy, hoping the book would give him a glimpse into your world, something that might help him understand you much better.

Charles then returned his attention back to the article. But his focus kept drifting, thoughts of you had surfaced in his mind unbidden, wondering where you were right now, what you might be doing, if you were watching over someone else or wandering through some hidden place unknown to humans. The pull to see you, to call you, was growing stronger by the second, becoming a quiet ache that settled deep in his chest.

He set the laptop aside, exhaling as he mulled over the idea. Charles remembered what you had told him when he needed you—that he could call you by lighting a match or a lighter, a summon that would draw you to him. He doesn't know if it would even work, or if you would even come, but the need to see you was already overriding any doubts that he has. So he then grabbed a small lighter that he kept somewhere hidden in his kitchen and went to his living room, sitting down on the couch with Leo curled up beside him.

Charles knew it was kind of absurd, like it was something straight out of a fairy tale of a late-night ghost story, but last night, you had told him that if he wanted to see you, all he had to do was light a flame and call out to you. A part of him, the rational side, wanted to shrug it off as nonsense. But then the other part of him had witnessed things that were impossible and felt that strange connection to you, urging him to at least give it a try.

“Am I really fucking doing this?” he murmured, looking down at Leo for approval. But Leo just looked at him, with a face that said ‘what’s the harm in trying?’ “Ah, fuck it.”

Finally, with a deep breath, he flicked the lighter on, watching the tiny flame flame dance as he whispered out to you, a barely audible plea for you to return. The flame flickered as he called out to you, then he blew it out gently, his eyes lingering on the wisp of smoke that rose and faded. His heart was pounding, unsure if should expect an immediate response or if he had simply made a wish to the empty air.

A hush settled over the quiet living room, and for a moment, nothing really happened. Charles felt a pang of disappointment, even a touch of embarrassment at how eager he was and had hoped. He let out a disheartening chuckle, letting out a quiet sight right after, and lowering the lighter, thinking that maybe he had been mistaken or that the depth of the bond he felt was just his pure imagination.

Just as he stood up, about to return the lighter back into the kitchen, Charles felt a shift in the air, a delicate, almost undetectable shimmer, like a faint breeze brushing across his skin. He looked up, and there you were, standing in the soft morning light, an almost imperceptible glow framing your presence. The world seemed to pause, the weight of the day fading away as he took in the sight of you. You stood there, a soft, otherworldly light around you, the faintest hint of warmth in your eyes as you looked at him. Charles felt his breath hitching, he had not realized how much he missed seeing you until now. He began feeling a strange mix of relief and happiness.

“You called for me?” you asked softly, your voice like a distant melody.

Charles nodded, suddenly feeling a little bit embarrassed, but unable to look away at you. “I…I did, I hope it’s okay. I just…” he paused, fumbling over his words. “I wanted to see if it works, and to see you again. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“You’re allowed to call for me, Charles. That’s why I told you how you can reach for me.” you smiled gently, a warmth in your expression that seemed to reach him despite your distance.

“I’ve been reading about Celestial Angels, trying to understand.” he let out a soft chuckle, placing his hands inside of his pockets, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I came across all these stories about angels who…form connections with their humans.” Charles looked down, collecting his thoughts.

“I guess I just wanted to understand what we have. Why do you keep on appearing, and why does it feel like I know you, even though I don’t really.” he added.

“The connection between an angel and their human isn’t something that happens every day. It’s rare, something beyond explanation.” your expression softened, and took a slow step forward, closing the gap between you. “We’re not supposed to form attachments, but sometimes, it’s as if the universe allows it, just for a moment.”

“So…it’s real, then? I’m not imagining it at all?” his gaze never leaving you, but filled with curiosity.

“No, Charles,” you shook your head. “You’re not imagining it. It’s real. You were always different, even from the first time I saw you.”

“I don’t know what this all means, but I want to understand.” he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, voice quiet, and a raw honesty was lacing his tone as he held your gaze.

“Sometimes, understanding isn’t possible, not in a way humans desire. Some things simply are.” you said quietly.

You then placed a hand near his, close enough that Charles could almost feel your presence, but not quite touching. The silence stretched, rich and weighty, filled with words left unsaid. Finally, he managed a faint smile.

“Thank you. For you know, for coming.” Charles said softly.

“For you, I always will.” you replied, smiling at him.

taglist : @charlesgirl16 , @chloes-book-corner , @wierdflowerpower

[justmenoworries]

I'm seeing a lot of fan art depicting Ramb as this poor woobie everyone bullied, but I honestly have to say, I don't think that's the case in canon.

In a chapter 3 route where you don't go for the ShadowMantle, after Ramb is petrified a Pippin will tell you that no one in TV World really liked him and that he never really "fit in". Most fans seem to have taken these two statements as connecting to the other, so "Ramb doesn't fit in, that's why no one will shed a tear for him now that he's gone and that's why nobody liked him when he was still moving".

But I think what's important to remember is that we're playing as Kris. The person Ramb probably cared about the most. So of course Kris would only see Ramb from his good side. We don't know what Ramb acted like towards the other Tv world darkners. We've never seen him interact with them.

But we do get a vague idea about what it must have been like to talk to him as a non-Kris person from how he speaks about other darkners, specifically Tenna.

He's being, to put it mildly, a condescending douche.

He automatically assumes Tenna's games aren't as fun for Kris as his own will be and that Kris will favor his original game once they see it. Even when Kris says they love Tenna's game, Ramb's answer reads as very patronizing. Like he thinks Kris is just saying this to be nice, because they couldn't possibly actually like Tenna's game.

And this is how he acts towards Kris, a person he likes. I imagine his remarks and jabs were probably a lot more overt and rude when he was talking to fellow darkners and especially Tenna.

Imagine working your ass off day in and out to entertain, only for some jerk in the corner to put down every idea you have and make it very clear he thinks whatever you come up with can't compare to what he's been cooking up.

No wonder he got saddled with the out of the way bar no one visited if that was his attitude from day one.

(Side note: Not belonging into the Tv dark world on its own isn't enough to be ostracized to the extent Ramb was. We see this in the chapter's little side story about a Pippin who befriended a Zapper, despite them being from different dark worlds. The difference seems to be in how they both handled it. The Pippin decided to repay his friend's help by working with the other darkners and (try to) refrain from making trouble, while Ramb... well, you read the paragraphs above this one.)

It's also important what the Pippin says about him besides that he didn't fit in and won't be mourned.

Now at first glance there's nothing wrong about Ramb asking what would be best for Kris, especially seeing as an ongoing theme of the game is Kris's freedom and personhood being disrespected and taken away from them.

But here's the thing.

Does Ramb really want what's best for Kris?

Or does he want what he thinks is best for Kris?

Ramb makes a ton of assumptions on what Kris thinks and wants, especially in the Sword Route. He automatically assumes Kris must find Tenna's revised version of the game boring because it's linear and that Kris must be longing for a game that lets them be 'free'.

What I find interesting is that a major factor of Ramb's unedited game is violence. The goal is to get a weapon, kill all the enemies to get stronger and then seek out new shores to repeat the process. The second part of Ramb's game even contains an overt reference to the Weird Route/Snowgrave Route. You know, the route that also encourages killing enemies to get stronger and is very much portrayed as a bad thing to follow. The route that traumatizes Kris so badly they try their best to keep it from being continued in chapter 4.

What's also interesting to note is that the last part of the game forces Kris to kill in-game versions of Susie and Ralsei to level up. Something they're visibly uncomfortable with doing. Again: this is the game Ramb originally programmed and thought Kris would just love.

Ramb's game is pushing Kris into the mindset of killing to get stronger and advance, even sacrificing their friends if that's what's necessary to proceed. All in the name of 'freedom'.

All of this to say, Ramb doesn't actually know Kris. He just thinks he does.

Just like Tenna believes that Kris will still love re-living the old days and staying in the past forever.

So I really don't think Ramb is as innocent as a lot of fan art makes him out to be.

We just don't get to see as much of his true personality as the other darkners likely did.

[delirious-donna]

For If Dreams Die [Part Five]

Levi grunted. He paused to lick across the swell of your breast, the blunt tip of his cock notched right at your fluttering hole. You could feel the sharp points of his teeth graze your skin, shivers rippling through your body at the implication.

story summary: Levi isn’t hungry, or so that’s what he claims. A vampire must drink to survive, and his sire refuses to let the man give up without trying every trick up his sleeve. When a new ‘donor’ appears, one who is different from all the rest, will Levi be able to keep resisting?

pairing: Levi Ackerman (vampire) x female reader (human)

warnings: descriptions of blood drinking, blood in general, slightly feral Levi, dream sequences from reader's POV, glimpses into Levi's past(?), jealousy, playful Erwin, vague references to WWII , nipple play, dream sex, cervix kissing, plotting for the main story (mweheheh)

Part Four | Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Part Six

You had fallen asleep to the memory of Levi’s mouth atop yours.

Hardly a surprise given how that one kiss had changed everything. Maybe you didn’t know how fundamentally altered you were now, but the realisation wouldn’t take long to hit.

He was commanding and yet surprisingly tender—a combination you hadn’t thought possible until you met Levi.

This whole affair was turning into something so far removed from your expectations that you were unsure which way was up, and which was down.

Sure, you had always planned to make alliances where you could with your employers but finding yourself attracted to the person you were to donate your blood to was not a part of the plan. Perhaps it had been foolish to think you would be immune to their innate charm, vampires were known to be charismatic after all and you weren’t above being wooed by the likes of Erwin Smith, and to your surprise, Levi Ackerman.

Levi was far from charismatic in the ways portrayed in fiction. He was practically the poster boy for antithesis.

He made no attempt to impress those around him, in fact, he strived for quite the opposite, keeping people as far from him as possible with an icy stare and sharp tongue.

You liked that.

It made you feel somehow special, flattered that his carefully constructed protective walls crumbled in your presence.

You couldn’t quite imagine how a friendly relationship between the two men in question would work, although it must have at one point in time. Where Erwin was courteous, Levi was indifferent. Erwin exuded warmth whilst Levi was a cool breeze, but not cold like you had expected.

His lips were soft, warm and carefully precise. Again you returned to the kiss, smiling like a dazed idiot at the canopy of your bed.

Lying against the expensive pillows you recalled his fingers in your hair, the way he had angled your head so he could take what he wanted but never without giving back tenfold.

The soft sigh that passed his lips when you dared to push your tongue over his teeth… these were the thoughts that lulled you into a deep slumber.

~

Your dreams were fitful. Not unpleasant, but they twisted your features and made you toss and turn to find the comfort you craved. Your nose burrowed deep into your pillow until at last, your breathing evened out and relaxed into the Egyptian cotton sheets.

A handsome young man stood with his back to you, glancing out the window with his hands clasped together. The stance was spookily familiar, as was the height and build of the man whose face you couldn’t quite see.

Neatly parted black hair topped his head and a smart military dress uniform further cemented the impression that Levi had given you on more than one occasion since your initial introduction.

Every inch of him was pressed and orderly, the creases in his trousers precise right down to the millimetre and the polish of his dress shoes, immaculate. Gold buttons adorned the cuffs of his jacket and you could see through the window’s reflection, medals pinned to his chest.  

A voice called from the doorway; he stood in barracks by the look of it when you peered around to spy several empty bunks and metal locked cabinets plastered in handwritten letters and other personal mementos.

“Captain Ackerman, Sir, your presence is requested by Commander Smith. He is in the briefing room.”

Levi barely acknowledged the words other than to grunt once in what was a clear dismissal. The younger soldier saluted and left swiftly; you couldn’t blame them.

You tested whether you could move and found that you could, each step carrying you closer to the figure by the window, his reflection illuminated by the nearby oil lamp. If you had to guess, you’d assume it was the middle of the night, but there was no clock to back up your theory.

It was at that moment he whirled around, and you stepped back involuntarily with a gasp. His eyes seemed to penetrate straight into you, but before you could speak, he strode towards the door without so much as a backwards glance.

Had he seen you?

After a moment to compose yourself, hand over your hammering heart and a couple of steadying breaths, you scurried after him and slipped inside a much smaller room before the door could be fully shut.

Another familiar face sat behind an imposing mahogany desk inset with green leather and brass studs. Erwin didn’t even look up as Levi entered, his pen continued to scratch across the page in front of him until a flick of elegant penmanship marked his signature at the bottom. Only then did he set it down to steeple his fingers, acknowledging the man he had summoned.

“Take a seat, you don’t have to stand on ceremony with me,” he said with an amused chuckle.

Levi visibly bristled. “Never know who might be watching, Commander.” He sat in the opposite chair, picking imaginary lint from the perfectly straight crease at his knee.

“Tch—don’t be ridiculous. You sound like one of those poor paranoid souls, the ones that are convinced the walls are listening.”

“You saying they aren’t?” Levi arched an eyebrow as you sidled around the wall so you could keep them both in your sight. For a second you thought his eyes might have flashed to you, but you chalked it up to your own paranoia.

“Not my walls.”

Erwin smiled, the aqua blue of his eyes shimmering in the candlelight. There was a hint of the devious in those clever eyes, something you would have to remember.

“Are you ready to leave?” the Commander asked with a cant of his head.

Levi gave a sharp nod followed by a slow exhale. His rigid posture loosened; the whites of his knuckles no longer so starkly pronounced. It was as if with those five words, new life had been breathed into him.

“More than ready. Are you sure it’s time for that?”

“My sources are reliable. The end days of this dreadful war are approaching. He has been backed into a corner and I expect that the coward will take what he thinks is the easy way out rather than face justice for the atrocities carried out in his name,” Erwin stated grimly.

If you were correct, this must be during the Second World War, and you wondered if this was before or after Levi was turned. You frowned, daring to tiptoe closer to get a better look before you realised that was a ridiculous idea. How would you tell the difference? It’s not like you knew what he had looked like as a human or if there were any differences between before and after.

The floorboard squeaked beneath your foot, and you froze. Both men turned to the source but only Levi seemed to direct his attention to your face, Erwin merely studying the offending floor with a raised brow.

“I won’t say too much more,” Erwin said quizzically, his eyes raking over the spot you stood in and clearly finding nothing out of sort. “We’ve done what we could, and we both know there were those that thought us utterly mad to dabble in human affairs in the first place.”

That answered your question.

Levi let out an ugly sound, derision mixed with disgust. “Fucking cowards.”

“Now now.” Erwin smirked, waving a dismissive hand in Levi’s direction.

“You’re thinking it,” Levi chided, a scowl creasing his features.

“Yes, but I’m not saying it. That is difference between us. I know when to leave things unsaid and you delight in making people blanch with your sharp tongue.”

It was hard to resist nodding along, though it felt premature to believe you truly knew the personalities of the two men. Honestly, it was nice just to see them not at each other’s throat—or more specifically—Levi at Erwin’s throat.

“Anyway,” Erwin continued without missing a beat, “won’t you be glad to return to… familiarity?”

Something unspoken hung in the air, piquing your interest.

There was no explanation other than intuition for the sudden twist of your guts, it forced your hands to curl into loose fists and your heart to pound uncomfortably in your chest.

“It’s been a long four years, Erwin. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has moved on. We didn’t part on the best of terms.”

So, it was a woman.

You silently berated yourself for feeling even an ounce of jealousy. This all came to pass long before you were born. You knew he wasn’t some inexperienced young man; he was a god knows how old vampire with likely a string of lovers over the years!

The conversation continued despite your inner turmoil. “That may be so, but this will soon be a time for celebration and more than a little revelry.” The commander stated with a grin. “Go to her, see what damage has been done and assess from there. You know I’m right, I always am.”

“Yeah yeah. I’ll think about it.”

With those final words the room dissolved.

There was a pulling sensation behind your navel, like a hook caught through your stomach to yank you backwards until you tumbled down into a kaleidoscope of colour.

Wind rushed through your ears and whipped around your hair, your body weightless with nothing to hold onto or ground you until as suddenly as it started, it stopped.

Lively music slowly crescendoed into full volume whilst you tried to regain your equilibrium. Colourful bunting hung from every wall and window with men and women chatting, eating and dancing in every direction.

This was like walking into a history book. Given this chance under any other circumstances, you might have people watched for hours. The fashion. The perfectly coiffed hair. The energetic dancing. The swing band playing on the small stage.

It was a history buff’s dream come true and whilst you would hardly consider yourself amongst their numbers, who in their right mind could find themselves in a place like this and not be completely awestruck?

A figure cut through the dance floor with assertive ease, your eyes following him and already certain it was Levi once more. His uniform looked much the same from the previous… dream? Memory? You weren’t sure.

His grey eyes swivelled in your direction, and not for the first time did you get the distinct impression that he was aware of your presence. A woman followed closely at his back; her beautiful chestnut brown hair curled beautifully down her back, bouncing elegantly as she trotted on kitten heels to keep up.

Once more, your feet took you in his direction—their direction. Your gaze bore into the beautiful buttercup yellow tea dress Levi’s companion wore. The A-line skirt swished around her lower half, the waist nipped in in a way you were sure you could never achieve, and you hated to admit how much you loved it.

Nylons covered her legs with dark seams running up the backs of her legs. It was an alluring addition, and you remembered of long past history lessons where you learned how women used to use tea dregs and a pencil to fake the effect of tights during wartime rationing.

There was no doubt she was pretty. Her features were emphasised by subtle make up that you only noticed once they were out of the main throng of people and into a quieter side room. You barely managed to slip through the door before it closed fully, not knowing if your body would follow the same metaphysical restraints in this dreamscape world as in reality.

The woman wasted no time in pouncing upon the man she had so eagerly followed. She sprang like a cat towards him, both arms outstretched as they rested on his shoulders, wrists locked and dangling behind his head. A high heel skimmed the outside of his trouser leg, rubbing in invitation for him to catch a hand behind her knee but it didn’t come.

Your lips pursed at the same moment she pouted.

From the position you had taken by the lone frosted window, you could make out the expression on both their faces and Levi looked less than impressed. It made you wonder why you were being shown this, if this was indeed a memory of his or merely an elaborate concoction of your overtired brain.

“Why did you ask me in here if not to… reacquaint?” She asked with an exaggerated fake purr that irked you to no end.

“I’m surprised you would want to ‘reacquaint’ considering how we parted ways.”

Levi took a step back, forcing the arms around his neck to untangle and drop to her sides. You watched the subtle jerk of her chin, pride and something else lacing her movements. She folded her arms across her chest, freshly manicured nails tapping against the porcelain of her skin.

“I had time, Levi. Four years is hardly nothing, although, I guess it probably is to your kind. A drop in the ocean, right? I’ve had to go on pretending like everything was okay and knowing that it wasn’t. Do you know how hard it’s been?”

Her voice cracked on the last few words and your eyes narrowed, you weren’t buying it. She was faking. Crocodile tears started to well in her pretty oval eyes, kohl swept lashes blinking rapidly to keep them at bay. Levi wouldn’t be taken in so easily, but how wrong you were…

A thumb rubbed across the apple of her cheek, his harsh stare softening just enough that had your jaw dropping in bewilderment. Soon he was cupping her face, closing the distance he had created to pull her gently into his chest. She eagerly curled her arms beneath his, hands shaped into claws that indented his jacket with how tightly she clung to him.

What he could not see, but you could, was the devious smile painted in scarlet rouge across her lips. How perfectly infuriating. Levi was being played, although you had no idea in what way or to what end.

You bit your tongue—hard—until the taste of iron tickled your taste buds. You reasoned that you wouldn’t wish to see anyone made a fool of or tricked, but in your heart, you knew that in the brief time you had spent with this man, you had felt a spark ignite that you hadn’t believed to exist until now.

Right now, you wanted to wake up. Shakily, you pushed back your sleeve and began pinching at your arm, but there was no sharp sting of pain, only the ache in your heart. Sadly, that was not enough to rouse you from the depths of your sleep.

The sounds of two people becoming intimate infiltrated past the mental barriers you had hastily tried to erect. You peeked through your tightly shut eyes to find the pair locked in a lovers embrace; her fingers tangled in his dark hair and his hands on her waist, pulling and pawing in a way that dropped your stomach right out of your body.

Was she also a vampire? You didn’t recognise her amongst the people living at Erwin’s estate… a human like you? Somehow, that was worse.

Visions of your earlier encounter played out upon the insides of your eyelids like a movie. The taste of him heavy on your tongue, earl grey tea and spices you couldn’t name. His hand tangled in your hair, the other at your waist. He had been gentle with you where he was rough with this woman. Why not with me?

You could feel the rekindling of a fractured relationship, the weight of it thickened the air and made it hard to breathe.

“Bite me… Levi, please. It’s been forever since I felt your mouth on my neck.” You watched the woman mewl her plea with a twisted grimace. She sounded drunk. “I want my forever to be with you.” Only fractions of her face could be seen as she continued to press kisses to Levi’s jaw, her eyes were glazed over and her chest heaved against his with every exaggerated exhale.

You couldn’t hear his reply, the words murmured too closely to carry to your ears, but whatever he said it was met with frustration. The brunette shoved a hand up, pushing him away and he moved, although you knew there wasn’t enough force to make Levi do anything if he didn’t want to. His head hung, black curtains of hair hiding his eyes and the back of his hand pressed to his mouth.

“You promised! You promised me you would do it if the time came. I want this and you… you hold back. Did the war change you or did you never truly mean to keep your word? I should have listened to…” She paused, unwilling to give away the next words on her lips. “I’ll make you regret this. I swear it.”

She flew from the room in a tornado of bouncing curls and sickly-sweet perfume, her fury perfectly palpable until it was only you and he left there. Levi made no move to prevent her leave or follow, instead he stood stock still. You weren’t even sure if he was breathing after several seconds passed in leaden silence.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned in your direction.

“Did I make the right call?” He asked, voice flat and emotionless. Was he talking to you? Asking you that question? Surely not… and yet, you mouth opened as if to reply.

However, before you could fathom to conjure a reasonable response, mercurial eyes ensnared your gaze, and the world fell out from beneath you once more. Your hands reached out to grasp for him, a scream caught in your throat until there was nothing but blackness.

A heavy weight moved atop you whilst panic rose in your chest, heart fluttering like a songbird trapped in a gilded cage. This room was dark, a bedroom for certain, and you were in bed with someone acting like lovers. Wet lips caressed your neck and the curve of your shoulder, it wasn’t unpleasant but you were ready to fight them for freedom when the scent of warm spices invaded your nose.

Levi.

His mouth trailed lower, tongue warm against your naked breast, taking the rapidly swollen bud deeper into his mouth to suckle noisily. It had your fingers scrambling for purchase, his shoulders, hair, the width of his back. All of it became marked or tugged upon.

He was also naked, that fact made all the clearer by the rhythmical grind of his hips, pushing his erection through the most intimate part of your body. This was so wrong. So so wrong. Yes, you had kissed, and wanted more, though you tried to ignore that addition, but this was further than you could expect this soon.

It’s a dream. Only a dream. Enjoy it. Let yourself imagine what it might be like. You repeated the mantra over and over, letting your palms explore the expanse of his back, the muscles shifting until you reached his backside and squeezed.

Dream Levi grunted. He paused to lick across the swell of your breast, the blunt tip of his cock notched right at your fluttering hole. You could feel the sharp points of his teeth graze your skin, shivers rippling through your body at the implication.

Maybe it was your curiosity at experiencing a vampire’s bite firsthand that fuelled this dream, not that it would explain the other parts you had witnessed. Would it hurt? He had said it depended on if the vampire in question wanted it to hurt. You were inclined to believe him, Levi hadn’t lied to you so far.

Electricity coursed through your veins, the sensation akin to being too close to a live wire, dangerous as it heated your blood to a near boil. You licked across your lips, a soft panting noise escaping only to be replaced by a strangled cry.

Levi thrust into you with a force unrivalled by any past lover, real or created by your subconscious. Without seeing him, you knew his length was impressive. Your pussy took the intrusion with little resistance, swallowing him down until you felt full. The fact that his pelvis had not yet met your own could only mean there was yet more to slide inside.

Only then did you notice he had unsheathed his fangs and pierced your breast. There was no sensation at all, as if your entire chest was muted in an otherwise sea of pleasure.

Crimson trickled past the seam of his lips, the blood spilling between the valley of your breasts, smearing across your skin as if painting some primal painting. It marked him too, an expressionist masterpiece made of your blood, the very thing binding you together.

You wanted to feel it. Wanted to know exactly how it would be to have your life force consumed whilst he gave back ecstasy with every cant of his hips, driving you closer to bliss.

“Levi…”

The breathless plea stalled his movements, his body dropping closer to you, caging you against the sheets until your ankles could lock at the small of his spine. There was an unspoken understanding, he knew it was you as much as you knew it was him.

Shadows tried to catch your attention from the corners of your vision, teasing you to look away, to break the connection.

You refused.

Twisting your fingers through the rougher undercut of his hair and arching up when he continued to pull from your vein, the diminished feeling only feeding your frustration. You rubbed against him, rutting back when he plunged to your depths, the very tip of him prodding and massage the front wall which had grown engorged and sensitive.

You wanted to see him—fuck—you were desperate to lock eyes with his mercurial stare and see yourself reflected. You were handing him the key, shoving it into his palm in an effort to keep chasing the gnawing hunger building in the pit of your stomach. Levi kept his head bowed even after he stopped taking from you, mouth bloodied and dripping to his chin. He grunted again, looking almost off to the side and you whined from that split second of lack of attention.

It was met by a fierce growl that silenced any further objections. His hands moved to your waist, thumbs indenting into the squish of your belly as he took a firm hold and began to push and pull you onto his cock. The mattress dipped under the weight of his knees, legs spread to change the angle and force himself to kiss your tender cervix. He was brutal yet protectively so. Trying to cover as much of you as possible whilst also doing his damnedest to break you—or at least that’s how it seemed.

“You should run. Run before I hurt you,” he snarled.

It seemed ridiculous. How did he think you would be able to escape when his grip on you only tightened, enough so that you knew there would be marks if this weren’t a dream. There was also the fact that you had no intention of running, absolutely none, you were falling hook, line and sinker for a man you knew very little.

Hope flared in your chest that he might the answer to your prayers—maybe, perhaps, please let it be the case. It was too soon to know for certain but if you were to place all your chips on one person… the thought was jarring as it was exciting.

“I don’t think so. I need to know…”

“Know what?”

You swallowed past the lump in your throat, doing your best to ignore the bliss being rubbed into your swollen clit by the hair of his pelvis. “… know if I can trust you.”

Levi leaned forward and licked the column of your throat before nipping at your chin. “Didn’t I just say I’ll hurt you? Why would you think you could trust me?”

“Instinct,” you replied instantly. There was no hesitation, no need to even consider the alternative. You would call it pure insanity if you weren’t experiencing it for yourself.

What it would mean once you had a moment to process everything, you weren’t sure, but right now you knew that if there was only one person in his cruel world that you would place your trust in, it would be him.

Watching as if through a slow motion lens, Levi raised his head. Your blood decorated his mouth, dark stains drying onto his skin and you were mesmerised. That was until you felt the weight of his gaze and flicked your eyes up to his. The grey mercurial swirl of his irises dilated and with it, you were yanked backward by determined invisible hands.

The power ensnared you so completely that struggling only worsened your plight. You could hear Levi fighting towards you, but you couldn’t see him. Your body was icy cold having been ripped away from him, and with one final attempt at freeing yourself, you woke with a start.

The sheets were saturated in sweat, your hair a wild tangle and the incensed beat of your heart physically hurt your chest. The only light source came from the sliver of space beneath your bedroom door, everything else was bathed in the black velvet of the night.

There was a desire to seek out the man from your dreams, to find out if the experience had been shared or simply all in your mind, but you knew he wasn’t here. Levi had told you as much when you parted ways. In not so many words, he admitted he didn’t trust himself to stay here whilst you did too.

Temptation, or something like that.

You rolled over, pulling an extra pillow to your chest and although you tried to resist, sleep tugged at you again. As you drifted back into a far more peaceful slumber, the shadow of feet retreated from your door.

Were you as safe here as Erwin had promised?

[mxdarling]

[“put that down! you’ll hurt yourself with that.” / “you’re so pretty when you smile.”]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: idia bought a new multiplayer game, and he wants to play it with his player one, you.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 2.3k (2334)

ೃ⁀➷: reference/Inspiration: playlist

ೃ⁀➷: event: [200 followers event]

[author's note:] JDJDKD MORE IDIA CONTENT WOOHOOO this was supposed to be his belated birthday gift from me but uhh cough cough writer block hit me like a bitch soo.. didn't finish before new years, and it's now like- 4 months late??? anyways, thank you anon for requesting idia with dialogue #3 and #7!! my last yandere idia work had him a little creepy so i made him cute this time loll i hope it's to your satisfaction anon!

[warnings:] lowercase, yandere behavior, more fluff than yandere, established relationship, reader is a gamer, cuddling, kisses, reader is ticklish, poor explanation of game mechanics, mentions of fear for judgement, reader is portrayed as a crybaby, one paragraph mentions idia being a creep, game is a rip-off of minecraft (fantasy version), toxic teammates.

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. i don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. if you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, i am not responsible for your actions from here on out.

[GN reader]

IDIA SHROUD seemed to be in a good mood today, at least according to what you've seen so far. probably because his latest purchase is the cause of his being in such an upbeat mood. not that you're complaining; it was rather cute seeing him all excited and giddy when he found a new game to play. it's like a whole new, different side of him comes out whenever he starts to ramble about the features of the game and why he should absolutely play it right now. of course, as his player one, you're automatically going to be the first person he's going to play with. not that you mind, really. playing with idia was always a fun experience; it reminded you a lot of how you would spend your free time back in your world.

(those days of laziness, those days of unproductivity where you did nothing but lay down on your bed and do nothing—no school work to do, no club activities to do, no studying for an upcoming exam—just pure idleness. then when you're bored, you could just use your phone, PC, or iPad to entertain you as the day goes by, playing nonstop until late hours in the evening. god, you miss those days.)

you often wondered what genre of video games this new world had to offer. you knew that it wouldn't be so different from your own world, but you weren't sure just how many of your friends were affiliated with gaming entertainment. out of fear that judgement would be placed upon you if you shared this interest of yours, your love for video games has been hidden—so to find someone else (with that someone else being idia) that likes video games and is very well versed in them is a dream come true. it was a long process to get him to play with you, let alone consider you a friend and not try to avoid you every 2 seconds—still, it was a feat you were proud of because now you get to experience many, many different sides of idia that you would have never known 9 months ago.

(you once heard idia curse like at least twenty times in one breathe when one of his teammates was being shitty and a prick, he sounded so angry and scary that you backed into a corner to avoid getting burnt by his scorching, bright red hair that grew the more angrier he got. the only reason he stopped was when he heard quiet sobs in the corner of his room and turned around away from his computer to see you huddled in the corner of his room. quickly he went over there, completely abandoning his game and comforting you. he hates seeing his cute prefect cry, especially because of him, he's not the great at comforting but when he hugged you so tightly, your quiet sobs turned into silence. right then and there he swore to never be the reason you're crying and when you do, he'll be right there with you.)

you are currently cross-sitting in his very comfy bed, watching as idia set up two controllers and plugged in the PCs to turn them on (you're still surprised he's got more than 2 PCs, which, if you really think about it, his family background makes it make sense). after waiting for the PCs to turn on, he then connects the controllers to the PCs and opens up the game on both screens. you would insist on helping him set up, but due to you literally being isekai'd into this unknown world of twisted wonderland, you aren't too familiar with many things besides the whole magic stuff—plus, you aren't too keen on breaking any of idia's stuff because of your lack of knowledge on how to do technology.

(technology in general is so extremely confusing, you would argue wholeheartedly all day and all night, and idia would agree with you and low-key flex on how knowledgeable he is in the field of technology, just to impress you and show how reliable he is. secretly, he likes it when he's useful to you.)

"sorry! it took a while to set up..." in slightly shaking hands, he hands over the controller to you while holding the other in his free hand. he looked rather nervous when he faced you to give the controller, like he's worried he wasted your time waiting for him. it reminded you of a puppy looking up to its owner apologetically when they did something wrong, so cute, you thought, adorable even, you added.

"haha! it's okay! you didn't take that long anyway." you gave him a reassuring look, a soft smile, and bright eyes, showing him that you weren't bothered by having to wait a bit as he set up for you two to play.

both screens show the in-game loading screen, and the bar quickly fills up due to the fast internet speed (one you're quite envious of). slowly it fades to the starting screen, where a big text is bouncing 'tap to start' in both of your faces. Idia presses to start immediately, wanting to get into gameplay as fast as he can while you take a moment to admire the visual aspects and effects of the game in silent awe. you always had a thing for the visual stuff that was shown in-game. by slowly pressing the button on your control, you enter the game and begin a fantastical journey with idia.

“put that down! you’ll hurt yourself with that!” he says worriedly as he watches you damage your avatar's HP bar this early in gameplay. usually he gets really annoyed when he plays with noobs and normies; they stink at comprehending basic knowledge, do dumb things in-game, ask too many questions, and ruin the whole gameplay experience for him. 'ugh, how annoying.' is his usual reaction to such—of course he wouldn't think of that towards you! never ever would he ever think this way towards you; even if you do things noobs and normies usually do, he can't bring himself to be annoyed—you were too cute in his eyes. he would never admit this to your face, though, and he still gets red just at the thought of him thinking you are cute. It's true though; don't get him wrong, but... the embarrassment that comes with thinking about these thoughts is just too much for his poor little heart! honestly, he's for sure that one day you'll be the death of him, does he care though? not really; in fact, he would probably love that.

(he blushes so hard whenever he thinks of you in his clothes; it's the way your natural scent clings onto his shirts, the way his shirts made you even cuter than you already are—one of the only reasons he doesn't wash his clothes immediately because he wants to savor your smell to memory. he's a creep, yes, but he's one devoted creep.)

"whoops! sorry didn't see that, haha..." nervously laughing at your mistake, you eat whatever consumable you have in your inventory to try and restore as much health as you lost. as your avatar munches on the food in its hand, from the corner of your screen, you can see idia's avatar walking towards you. once it's near enough to your avatar, you can see the animation of a bunch of items being dropped and your inventory picking up due to the proximity between the items and your avatar. you opened your inventory, curious about what he just gave you since it looked like quite a lot of items, and confused about why he was giving you so many items in the first place. your eyes widen in shock as the items he's given you are one stack of steak, every weapon in-game (sword, axe, pickaxe, shovel, hoe), but in steel, and a full set of steel armor.

your mouth continues to gape open as you put on the armor set on your avatar. how did he get so much stuff this fast? it hasn't even been an hour yet! "where.. did you get so much stuff!?" you ask naively, following idia around as you don't want to get lost, die, and lose all your stuff. "stole half of those from villages, some from mining, and a few from trading" he says so casually as he continues to walk in an unknown direction, like this was a regular thing for him, not to mention this was a hard difficulty! he's playing this game like it's not easy mode! "could've gotten more if it weren't for those stingy mobs..." furrowing his eyebrows, he let out a small huff of frustration, pressing slightly harder on the buttons on his controller, not noticing how your mouth dropped down even further at his passing comment. as she presses on, walking in an unknown direction, you're hit with the hundredth reminder that he's on a whole other level than you when it comes to gaming.

three hours in, and you guys decided to play on public servers, where you'll get to play different game modes other than the usual story and survival modes. once the two of you picked a game to play, the room quickly filled with laughter, shouting, incoherent grumbling, screams of terror, and many more in between. you two decided to save a team game as last since idia wasn't enthusiastic about playing together with other players because he just wanted to play with you, and there was an underlying fear that you would encounter toxic teammates. but since you were practically begging him to just try it at least once, he couldn't help but give in to your pleas.

it was fun, he supposed. it wasn't as annoying or infuriating as he thought it would be, but he still had to keep up not making really snarky remarks when certain players were interacting with you. he'd hate to have you see such a mean, ugly, and disgusting side of him. other than that, it was an okay experience. he thinks it would've been better if it was just him and you on a team; wouldn't it be kind of romantic? you and him against everyone else?

then what he feared most would happen actually happened. suddenly some fucking jerk is screaming insults at you for not being good enough, and before that teammate got two more words in, he exploded on them. curses upon curses spit out his mouth in rapid speed, and the voices of that said teammate slowly but surely die down as their ego and pride go down with them. in the midst of anger and chaos between him and the teammate, you could feel tears building up inside you; everything around you started to blur, and the sounds that filled your ears were starting to get tuned out. you couldn't even hear that idia stopped screaming curses, turned off both PCs, and went to take the controller from your hand, lift you up into his lap, and slowly wrap his arms around you.

once he had you fully in his grasp, he tightened his grip, making sure not to let you get away from him. he wasn't good at words, especially when trying to comfort someone, but seeing you cry was making him cry too. he did, after all, swear to always be with you when you cry. raising one of his hands, he placed it at the back of your head and gently pushed towards his neck. then his hand went down to rub your back, up and down, up and down, at a slow pace. letting you cry it all out in peace while also letting you know he's there with you.

a few minutes have passed, and your sobs have gone silent. your eyes have become droopy and sleepy, and it feels almost impossible to keep them open. suddenly, a hand lifts your chin, and you feel a pair of lips come into contact with your forehead. it wasn't like a quick kiss; no, the kiss lasted for at least a few seconds before pulling away. even then, upon pulling away, you feel another kiss on your cheek, this time a little quicker than the forehead kiss. then another kiss on your other cheek, then another on your nose, another on your jawline, another on your earlobes, and finally, his lips hovered over your own lips.

you could feel the hesitation when he let out a nervous breath; the thought of your lips on his always sends him into an electrifying and drunken daze. he can't think straight when he's this close to you, but even then, it gives him an unusual feeling of contentment and confidence. the luck he has to be able to snag such an adorable, cute, amazing, and beautiful person like you in his life. he almost can't believe it. swallowing his own nervousness for your comfort, he presses against your soft lips delicately. soon after making physical contact with your lips, he feels a smile form on your face—a small smile, yet it was enough for him. any smile from you is enough for him, because seeing you happy is the best view he could ever lay his eyes on.

feeling out of breath, he's the first to let go but also the first to frown at the loss of touch. i want to stay like this forever, he thought as he watched you emit a giggle after the kiss. fire burns brightly in his heart, and he starts to wonder if you being the death of him will really come true. his cheeks burn that ever-warm red that he knows you've seen many, many times before, but he can't help it. when you pull him into a world through rose-tinted glasses, no way could he be immune to such an effect.

"i really can’t take it when you cry like that… smile for me, alright? you’re so pretty when you smile."

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[writing-for-life]

Dream and How He Experiences Love

(Or: When the Unreal is at War with the Real, and Finally Understanding Unconditional Love Tightens the Noose Around Your Neck That Has Been There All Along)

And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

Let me start this one with a few adjectives from the horse’s mouth (aka: Neil Gaiman said so 🤣) as to what Dream is actually like:

from: Vertigo Chase Card Set

So in short: This is probably the most accurate way to describe Dream in a nutshell, from the author himself, fully knowing that Murphy doesn’t lend himself well to be described in a nutshell.

And of course it’s absolutely fine if we want to head-canon him just being 5 out of those 50 (or none of them at all)—our stories are our own. At the end of the day, we went through a whole year of Tumblrfication (I might have made up that word), and getting back to the series will be tough. So is trying to align what the current prevalent perception of Dream is like in parts of the fandom, and what he is like in both comics and series (show and comics really aren’t that different where it matters, and I’ll die on that hill). I already worry about the fallout if I look at what happened with GO or OFMD, but that just as an aside.

Anyway, Dream in fandom spaces is often portrayed as either a pathetic wet cat who can’t get to grips with anything and constantly needs rescued in one way or another, or as a completely unfeeling arsehole incapable of relating to the human experience and being horrible all around. There are very few shades of grey in how some fans perceive him, when just the list of above adjectives shows us how complex he is as a character.

One thing that obviously comes up regularly are his relationships, be they romantic or platonic. So I just wanted to draw attention to the adjectives that relate strongly to the relational element in him (although they all apply in one way or another):

touchy, sentimental, cold, loving, [elusive], gentle, hurt, deep, intense, solitary, romantic, shy, intangible, lonely

Dream is the unreal. His way of loving relates very deeply to what stereotypical romantic love is: Romance and reality are a contradiction in terms—romanticism is dreaming because it is, at its very core, an idealised view. The intangible dream that comes back to bite us in the arse once reality sets in. And his flavour of love is the prototype of idealised and intangible (=romantic) and can never be anything else by his very nature.

And I’ve often thought that the way he experiences love is also a large part of why his existence is so difficult for him, and why he ultimately makes the choices he makes. Yes, he detests his function, but if he weren't so lonely (and weren't doomed to be so by his very purpose), he might find it easier to bear.

Let me look at, and draw parallels to, the 7 types of love as the Ancient Greeks perceived them [quick note about the image references: I would have loved to give more, but there is a limit. Also: Apologies I have no alt text for the comic panels at this point, I might add them at a later stage if I find the time]…

Eros

That’s both sexual and romantic love (to varying degrees), and it can be fleeting (like a dream) if not anchored in a less idealised view. So there’s your first cue—he totally experiences that kind of love.

The Ancient Greeks also thought it was a dangerous type of love, one that clouds our judgment and one that won’t last if not combined with some of the other types. And Dream himself knows this and probably relates (he detests his sibling Desire for “meddling”, after all). And yet, he is the intangible, the ungrounded, the unreal.

It’s all over every single one of his relationships we witness:

Killalla—“gifted” by Desire. We never get any cue as to what exactly they were up to, but it can be assumed desire, for whatever, played a large part in their relationship. Killalla makes no secret about it either (and is at the same time uncertain whether she truly loves him while being confused Dream might actually love her after what seems a very short time, at least in cosmic terms). Suffice it to say, he has a very idealised view of her and their relationship. Romantic idiocy at its best: He has literal stars in his eyes and is so grateful for Desire’s help he is basically kissing their boots in gratitude.

Alianora—again one of Desire’s gifts. And Dream tried, and I definitely think he was at least romantically (and physically) attracted to her (the art is very hard to interpret otherwise, neither is the context--she was gifted by Desire, after all). But this relationship is generally a tricky one because there is gratefulness and guilt n the mix, and that is sometimes a very unfortunate combination. He also couldn’t fully trust her because of his deep mistrust of D/desire. And lo and behold, of course the relationship soured when romantic and (potentially physical) attraction waned.

Nada—pursuing each other on and off, broadcasting sexy time all over the Dreaming because he's just so head over heels and literally bursting at the seams—need I say more? Yes, he does say to her that her body does not matter to him, which I 100% believe is true. He also says that he will love her as no mortal man can. But everything that transpires is still deeply informed by romantic attraction, because quite frankly: You don't feel love yet after you've barely met someone. It's again a deeply idealised view and that is something inherently romantic in tandem (in this case) with physical desire. Again, because D/desire was involved.

As to the particulars of Nada’s banishment to hell, and why Dream acted so out of character compared to his other failed relationships: You can find all of it here.

Calliope—read her speech at the Wake is all I’ll say. That is someone making romantic love so integral to their whole existence, I don’t even know where to start. He puts the world at her feet and makes sure she always comes first (quite literally) while they are still loved up…

Thessaly—he's the romantic idiot (affectionately) in the rain with his coat billowing in the wind, and referring to her “weighing him dispassionately and finding him wanting”. It was only a handful of months--you don't feel true, stable love at that point. Again, it has the idealised view of romance (and potentially sexual desire) written all over it. He would have given her the world, just like he would have given the world to Nada and Calliope. That is the trope of every freaking romance novel, and that is exactly how he perceives love.

Titania—who knows, she keeps her mouth shut.

Ludus

I think he has a hard time to be flirtatious and playful (at least, we don't really see it. We never really see him during the courting stage, and what went down with Thessaly was hardly "flirtatious". `Then again, bickering like they did in A Game of You is electrifying to some, so who knows. She also said at his wake he was cautious and nervous). And if he comes across as flirtatious (there is a charming on that list of adjectives after all), it’s just because he is so deliberate in everything he does that he might just push someone’s (right) buttons, so to speak. But that’s not the same as “no strings attached”-love, because I honestly believe he’s incapable of experiencing love that way. There is no “casual” with him. He always stays attached to the people/women he once loved, even if the relationship sours. He still loves each and every single one of them, he never stops. But he also doesn’t in a way that’s sustainable, and it’s an unsolvable conflict due to what/who he is.

Philia

Most closely translated as friendship and affection. Platonic love, if you will. It is also a love between equals. He has a hard time with it and only slowly learns what it means through his relationship with Hob. Needless to say: The Ancient Greeks valued platonic love as one of the highest forms of love. Hence, I’m personally reluctant to turn it into something else/slant it towards romance, because that’s exactly what this part of the story is about: His relationship to Hob is important and grows/lasts because it is not romantic in the comics.

Storge

Unconditional love for family, especially children. Based on complete acceptance and potentially sacrifice. Doesn’t need to be reciprocated. You feel it, no matter what, and you act accordingly. And for Dream and Orpheus, that didn’t work until it did. Or, let’s rather say: I don’t want to assume he didn’t feel it. But he pushed it down in his hurt and pride (as did his son in his grief). No further comment, because that one hurts.

Agape

Altruistic, universal, all-encompassing. And that’s so deeply at the core of his being, and so central to his whole conflict that I don’t even know where to start. From not wanting to kill the first vortex (or Rose, for that matter), to telling John Dee he’s hurting the dreamers, and that being his main concern while he himself was writhing on the floor in agony, to “humanity I love you”, to a million other things. He cares so deeply, there is such a deep concern for sentient beings in their entirety that it’s quite literally impossible to call it anything other than love. And it’s also what plays a large part in his demise.

Pragma

Oh, here we go. I honestly believe he likes the idea of committed and long-lasting. And he’s trying. So very hard. Calliope is the best example. Alianora was another one, because it’s not like they broke up swiftly (hard to tell how long they lasted, but since she had stayed in the Dreaming too long to go anywhere else, it wouldn’t surprise me if we’re actually talking a very, very long time. He called it “a goodly while”, and considering how old he is, I doubt that equals only months, or even just a few years, especially since he is fully aware how short his relationship to Thessaly was). And he wanted to stay true to his promise. But he is who/what he is: the unreal. And as the personification of that, love both feels real for him but will also forever stay intangible. It’s heartbreaking really. Again, it has written the contradiction between romantic love (the ideal) and pragmatic love (the thing that is grounded in reality) written all over it.

Philautia

And that’s the most heartbreaking one. He is incapable of self-love and full of self-loathing instead. The Ancient Greeks used to say that you can’t give what you don’t have. And it’s hard to feel compassion for the flaws we perceive in others if we don’t have that self-compassion for the exact same flaw in ourselves. And that one hurts in so many ways, from his not being able to forgive himself (which is mirrored in his relationship to Nada, who also couldn’t forgive herself—she didn’t need his forgiveness, she needed her own) to Orpheus being so much like him apart from one major difference: he’s mortal in spirit, and even immortality doesn’t change that. And Dream struggles with the part of his child that is so like him for a million reasons that would burst this meta at the seams, but again: it’s hard to love in others what we detest in ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly.

So in short: The particular flavours of love Dream feels (Eros, Agape, Philia growing slowly over time) and the ones he doesn’t (Ludus, Pragma, Philautia) are also at the very root of how the story goes.

And when he finally truly understands what Storge/unconditional love is--both in the way he reassesses his relationship to Nada but especially in how he finally submits to his love for Orpheus (with all that entails)--and when he allows it to become real, it’s what tightens the noose around his neck. But that noose has been around his neck loosely all along…

[seventeenlovesthree]

Taichi's stance on the other Chosen Children - and why it's not always immediately visible

... Spoiler alert: It's because canon depictions don't let him dwell on it a lot, but as I've already deduced once before: He struggles once he gets isolated from the others (either self-imposed or involuntarily and, unfortunately, that happens a lot).

I do have my very own view on how he feels about every other Chosen Child (mainly the Adventure squad, but I'll try to do my best to analyze the 02 kids too), so I'll try to keep each paragraph brief. The main sentiment is that ALL characters have a certain impact on Taichi - some more than others, of course, but it shall not be overlooked how important each of them is (becoming) to him.

Yamato:

As it was pointed out various times before, Taichi and Yamato have a theme of "opposition" going on. They're often portrayed to have different viewpoints and values, literal fire vs. ice, which causes them to clash with each other a lot. But despite their tendency to fight, Taichi has this unwavering trust in Yamato that had been growing throughout their Adventures in the Digital World. He may be better at understanding and observing Yamato than Yamato is actually aware of (especially in terms of their similarities as protective older brothers). And since he trusts and believes in Yamato so much and wants to be on the same page - they (will) have saved the world together several times after all -, it usually doesn't do him good when they're at odds. Which is, mostly, initiated by Yamato and very particularly after their argument in the Dark Masters' Arc. Despite his stubbornness and hotheadedness, Taichi contemplates and overthinks a lot when they're fighting - and is basically suffering like a wounded puppy whenever it happens. I'd say he enjoys the playful (!) bickering in 02 onwards, but gets stressed out and defensive when it comes to the unresolved fighting. He obviously cares for Yamato and will definitely turn to him as his equal battle (and moping) partner. [How I see their ship compatibility]

Sora:

I think it's not exactly exaggerated when I say that Taichi isn't the most... Socially adept person when it comes to dealing with women. He has a tendency to either idealize and overprotect - or, as it is in Sora's case, doesn't find the right words to approach them. He 100% values Sora as one of his oldest friends and absolutely cherishes her caring nature - he's seen it ever since they've been partners on the football pitch and observes it closely among their companions in the Digital World. So when Sora lashes out at him for "not understanding her", it catches him off guard every time. The question is if he really misjudges her - whether it's when he calls her loving, caring or gifts her a hairclip - or if he actually subconsciously understands her better than she does herself. (She IS struggling with an identity crisis after all, and him not fully getting that kinda makes sense, since she's never filling him in.) He knows he can rely on her to take care of the others, his sister in particular, and generally trusts in her as an equal. He seems to develop a habit of not wanting to get into her business (mostly in 02 onwards), and may keep a respectful distance in Tri onwards, but will still jump in to either protect or push her if he needs to. [How I see their ship compatibility]

Koushirou:

I like to refer to Koushirou as Taichi's complementary right-hand-man - and even though Yamato and Sora may deserve the same title at varying parts of the series, all three of them fulfill different roles for him. If you want to get particularly cheesy, you could say that, in a battle-related context, Yamato is the (other) fist, Sora the heart (while Hikari is the soul) - and Koushirou is the brain. From episode 1 onwards we can tell that these two have known each other before and seem to be close in similar ways as Taichi and Sora are - and even if Taichi starts off misunderstanding Koushirou's love for technology at first, he quickly learns when and how to rely on his expertise. Similarly to how he relies on Yamato in later parts of the series as his fighting partner, he thoroughly and vocally relies on Koushirou to help him find the right path, strategy, approach - and even if they do clash a little here and there, they will always find ways to reconcile. There's also, once again, the theme of him turning into a wounded puppy when they're not on good terms - but that, once again, applies to Sora and Yamato too. One aspect of Adventure to be mentioned on the side is that Taichi may even have put Koushirou on a pedestal for a while, since he forbade him from fighting - just as he did with Hikari, whom he also idealize(s/d) and tried to protect. (I may also argue that he has a bit of an inferiority complex towards Koushirou + all the smart people around him during Kizuna, but that's him generally feeling lost in comparison to everyone else.) Either way, he will turn to Koushirou whenever there's an emergency with 100% trust (and amazement). They get more comfortable bickering, playing on-call-dads for the 02 kids and sharing knowing glances as they get older. [How I see their ship compatibility]

Mimi:

While he doesn't exactly overprotect Mimi, he still has a habit of teasing/grinning about her "royal" attitude. There isn't as deep of a bond between them as there is between Taichi and the three previous characters. However, you get a feeling that, for Taichi, Mimi "is just Mimi", with all her antics and quirks (and only gets annoyed at that when she is overdoing it like in the Princess episode, but aside from that, he doesn't mind it and doesn't treat her like a "girly girl"). There is just a general sense of acceptance and treasuring. [How I see their ship compatibility]

Jyou:

Once he has gotten over his first impression of Jyou being "a stingy, wimpy know-it-all", you can tell that there is not only growing respect, but a general sense of comfort between them. I'd say that this may have increased even more after Jyou reassured Taichi as their leader - and the older they get, the more Taichi seems to be able to understand and relate to Jyou's previous (and ongoing) struggles and doubts. I like that there is an underlying theme of mutual admiration at various points in their lives. [How I see their ship compatibility]

Takeru:

While they clearly do have a sibling dynamic going on, it's interesting to see that Taichi doesn't coddle Takeru - quite the contrary. From day 1 on, Taichi treats Takeru like an equally important part of the group, gives him tasks and encourages him to believe in his abilities. By the end of the series, he even entrusts him with the life of his sister. It can be assumed that he's able to tell that the relationship between Takeru and Yamato is a little rocky and tries to reassure Takeru in that Yamato would never abandon him (once again reaffirming his own trust in Yamato as well). Either way, one can tell that he absolutely cares about Takeru. [How I see their ship compatibility]

Hikari:

In general, it can be said that the relationship between these two siblings is quite close - not only did Taichi take care of Hikari ever since they were little; due to their rather traumatic experiences, Taichi may also idealize/put Hikari on a pedestal and definitely had to grow out of his overprotective tendencies and self-guilt-tripping as he grew older. He adores and loves Hikari to the core and doesn't exactly coddle her, knowing that she is indeed capable - but he's also terrified of the idea of being the reason for her getting hurt again. I'd say, as of 02 onwards, he doesn't feel as thoroughly responsible for her as he used to, but it would be foolish to assume that the trauma of almost having caused her death as a kid didn't leave a lasting impact on his fear of causing collateral damage. There are instances of natural sibling bickering between them. And I'm sure, if Taichi could, he'd like her to stay as idealistic and empathetic as she is - as depicted above. They both know the necessity to fight, but it does feel like he doesn't want her to shoulder the same burden he does. [How I see their dynamic in general]

Daisuke:

After Hikari (whom he idealizes) and Takeru (whom he mostly treats like an equal), Daisuke is like a third adopted sibling - and while it's not exactly clear how he feels about it, I would assume that Taichi kinda enjoys having someone who looks up to him. He may tend to underestimate him at times or call him off as too rash, inexperienced or short-sighted. However, we can also assume that he sees parts of his younger self in Daisuke - and can now laugh about that. Also, I'd say he is actually impressed by the way Daisuke is different from himself, especially his more idealistic attitude. Taichi Yagami, as pointed out so many times before, is someone who believes in his friends - thus he also believes in Daisuke to make it one way or another. And I'd even argue that he kinda admires Daisuke for believing even more thoroughly than himself. [How I see their dynamic in general]

Miyako, Iori & Ken:

Pinpointing Taichi's exact stance on these three is incredibly difficult, because he tends to refer to the 02 group as a whole mostly as "Daisuke and the others" - meaning that he acts like a protective part-time-dad for them most of the time and tries to teach and warn them about the dangers and horrors that he/they have gone through before. It can also be assumed that his wrath towards Ken has completely vanished post-redemption, as he is not a particularly resentful person when it comes to people who show remorse.

[bluestarjay]

After being on Tumblr for I think nearly a year, and making a fuck ton of posts and gaining mild popularity on certain posts and gaining a whopping 21 followers, I've never made a Hinata Harem post. So yall are finally lucky enough to hear my takes on it ❤️❤️❤️

So first of all, I kinda love the hinata harem thing bc it's actually so funny, but strangely, in a way, it's realistic. Not very well written most of the time, but realistic as a concept.

Bc like he gets along with basically the entire cast, and he sometimes compliments characters who are not used to being complimented, and that character may blush of embarrassment, and then the fandom takes that as shipping material, like with Goshihina. And it makes sense! Imagine you're rarely complimented, and you strive for validation from your peers, especially upperclassmen, and then suddenly, the cutest boy you've ever seen compliments you like you're the only person on the planet. And so then you purposely try as hard as you possibly can to make said boy continue to compliment you. Take this, then multiply it by 100, because I think that's how the harem trope, in Hinata's case, works.

This isn't meant to be in the way that he can be shipped with every single character because truly, he can't. Shipping Hinata with 3rd years, in a typical high school setting, is, at least imo (and not bc of the age gap itself), weird bc of the maturity difference. You shouldn't date a senior as a freshman bc you're on two separate maturity levels. And regarding all of the many 3rd years (tendou, daichi, suga, bokuto, etc), it's really the same exact thing just platonically. Bokuto is literally Hinata's older brother!! He adopted him as a student *and* sibling, bc he felt the same things everybody does, just in a *different* way.

The hinata harem, to me, is the display of hinata's character in reference to every other character, yk? To me, these select few people are actually in love with him, and these people have a "crush," which is more so a platonic feeling, and these people find a true, deep *friendship* with him, one that they've probably never experienced before, and therefore may look like a crush or love to an outside viewer. And, in these different relationships between hinata and other characters, they all love him. They all feel a loving connection with him, like how people would think in a harem, but it's not quite so because all of the people who love hinata love him in different ways.

Now, with how this harem is portrayed in fanfiction actually scares me bc half the people there are much older and mature than him (gen question why do ppl ship him with 3rd years /in high school/, like, I love Brazil Oihina sooooo much but hs Oihina is 😧😧😧) , and tbh it just gets out of control.

And alot of times I see Hinata reciprocate?? With multiple people?? Which is fine to an extent, imo like I love poly ships, I've seen a lot of really cute ones and some more interesting ones, and it's totally normal to have a crush on a few people at once but istg some people make him a goddamn player,,,

I recently read a harem-ish fic, which was much more similar to how I personally find it to be like, it was essentially people having a crush on hinata, or realizing it, and it was cute, but at the same time, Hinata asked one of them on a date, cuddled with like two other guys (which, normalize cuddling platonically but in the context of the fic it wasn't suuuuper platonic but wasn't suuuuuper romantic either iykwim), and the part of that that kinda icked me was just that he was getting on with so many people at once (the fic took place in the span of like a week, and there were like 5 people i think??). And a lot of other fics that are post time skip are just Hinata hooking up with the entire cast at some point???

Idk tbh but I do really like fics where everybody LOVES hinata, but only a few people are IN love with him. Just the balance of like ~5 people having a crush on him, half of the rest of them have adopted him in one way or another, and the other half have just found their new bff.

Btw I think that second to last paragraph is worded a bit poorly I just don't really know else to describe the fic so sorry if it offends anyone I'm free to edit it n if anyone wants more ship related stuff I got you (ALSO GIVE ME GOOD "HAREM" FIC RECS AS LONG AS THEYRE SFW AND COMPLETED!!) 💪💪💪

[radioactive-dazey]

Why I think people should be allowed to “water down” Remus 

Hi. I’d like to preface this by saying, I don’t really care how people write Remus. Typically if there's an interpretation of him I don’t like, I ignore it/don’t engage with it. Additionally, I personally do not like the interpretations in which I’m defending (baby-ifying and toning down his character are very often hard for me to consume due to it hitting a certain mind-numbing extreme, and it Takes Me Out of the story if it’s overdone). 

Also, this may get tangent-y, a lot of it boils down to my personal interpretation, how I like to write him, and the stuff I read/avoid reading.

Pings: @finchandthebard @existential-grackle @micropoet

My major point: Writing intrusive thoughts can be hard or disturbing. 

I have intrusive thoughts that overwhelmingly play heavily into my trauma. Because of that, I have to work into overdrive to portray Remus differently than how I experience intrusive thoughts. I have more fun writing him to be a chaotic entity rather than a disturbing one, it often fits better into the story if, instead of having him create visuals of murdering Thomas’s friends, he instead makes Thomas/others experience body dysmorphia, convince Thomas there's something wrong with his food, making sexual innuendos, etc. This is how I chose to “water him down.” Accurate portrayals of intrusive thoughts, includes examples of things he’s done in canon, but it very rarely goes further than this for me due to my own comfort levels, and what is necessary for my fics. 

Writing extreme depictions of intrusive thoughts can be difficult due to it being detrimental to explore and engage with. It does have an impact on your mental health to only engage in the disturbing. (Side note: Do what you want, I’m not your mom). There’s already so many disturbing and scary parts of the internet and the greater world, and like me, many people use writing as a way to escape those topics. It goes both ways: if someone is inspired by their experiences to write Remus as disturbing or even more disturbing than how he appears in canon, they can and should do that! But if someone rather not, then that's okay too. I think it’s more harmful to expect every version of Remus to be a disturbing, sexual innuendo creating, Jeffery Dahmer idolizing creature than it is for someone to write a version of him that is “oc-ified.” 

Additionally, it can be hard to write in a respectful way, which is why I think some people avoid doing it. Remus is more digestible when he’s heavily censored. And while this could turn into an argument about how people who experience intrusive thoughts regularly may find it offensive to censor/remove that aspect of him, I personally don’t care (refer back to my statement of “If there’s an interpretation I don’t like, I ignore it).

Remus representing intrusive thoughts is not something that's always suitable for a fic or something that is able to be portrayed in fics. Take human Aus, for example. This can be mostly worked around, writing him to have intrusive thoughts instead of creating them, as Virgil is written to have anxiety rather than representing Thomas’s anxiety. However, beyond just finding it uncomfortable, someone may feel hesitant to write a scene indulging/engaging with/portraying intrusive thoughts. Not because they don’t want to, but rather because they can’t or are inexperienced. I think its weird to expect it automatically, especially if its a non-Remus centered fic. 

This all being said… In my experience, It's hard to write for Remus when so much of his character IS tied down to his role as intrusive thoughts and dark creativity. Attempting to separate him from the role is like trying to scrape gum off the sidewalk. I think this is why it's so jarring to see interpretations of this occurring; it’s just not Remus after a certain point. 

Ultimately, I think it boils down to a few ideas: personal interpretation and what the writer is willing to create. So really, I don’t think it's as deep as people are making it. The fandom heavily misinterprets all the characters anyway, and you can make similar arguments about any one of the sides (EX: Virgil is a helpless anxiety case (infantilizing anxiety), Roman is an obnoxious dick (just blatantly wrong, I could sit an analyze his character all day if given a chance), Patton is an emotionally manipulative baby (literally trying his best, makes mistakes, is working on it), and Janus is a glorified alcoholic who will fight a bitch (hmm… unfortunately this misinterpretation is inching ever so closely to canon, but once again, that discussion is for another day.)) 

Frankly, there are bigger issues I think the fandom should care about, such as how the Real Life Thomas keeps sweeping issues under the rug, but sure, let’s talk about Remus. 

Edit: there's a point to be made about the interpretation leading to a complete misinterpretation of how intrusive thoughts work as a whole, i.e., people thinking intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts are one and the same. I failed to consider this 😮‍💨 and yeah, that's really annoying but I think it's a separate broader issue that can't fully be tackled in a post about how Remus is written

[musicalmoritz]

Ok ok so you said something in your Les Aoi analysis about trans Aoi (I’m gonna be honest I don’t remember which it was 😭😭) so I wanted to ask for an analysis on that! Especially because I don’t think I’ve really seen that before! Thanks :))

Alright! Let’s talk about transmasc Aoi. Just a heads up, I’m probably gonna alternate the pronouns based on whether I’m referring to canon or fanon Aoi. So if I’m talking about a canon situation with Aoi I’ll stick with she/her but if I’m referring to Aoi as in transmasc fanon Aoi, I’ll go with he/him. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t get confusing lol

Transmasc Aoi exists for the same reasons lesbian Aoi exists. Aoi’s character centers around hiding her true self, which is a universal queer experience. Some fans relate her arc to lesbianism, but others relate it more to her gender identity. I am not trans myself and I have never been trans nor questioned my gender identity so I may not be the best person to explain this, so if any trans TBHK fans want to chime in here feel free to do so!! I will try my best to relay how Aoi’s character stands out to some trans readers (tho you obviously don’t have to be trans to headcanon a character as trans as long as you’re doing so respectfully, I have lots of trans headcanons)

Unlike the lesbian Aoi headcanon, I have no gripes with how this one is portrayed. I’ve seen AoiAoi, Aoinene, and TeruAoi shippers alike express love for this headcanon so it never feels like they’re trying to erase part of her arc or just keep her away from Akane. Which makes sense, unless they were writing Akane as straight, male Aoi wouldn’t hinder that relationship in any way. Furthermore, this headcanon feels more focused on Aoi as a charger rather than trying to shove her into an aesthetic (just to be clear I don’t dislike the lesbian Aoi headcanon, just the way it’s often portrayed). In fact I often see this hc paired with trans Akane/trans Nene/trans Teru. With a wide variety too, sometimes Akane is written to be transmasc as well and other times she’s portrayed as transfem. That’s one of my favorite parts of this headcanon, people get so creative with it

Aoi’s entire character centers around how her internal self doesn’t align with the external. The image she presents to the school is not her true self. I’m gonna pull out my favorite term here, Aoi’s identity makes her experience cognitive dissonance. Her actions don’t align with the way she thinks and believes. I know that’s a pretty simple concept but there is so much you can interpret from that premise. Imo there’s some pretty obvious personality disorder coding going on there but I’ll hold my tongue. Canon reasons aside, this theme stands out to a lot of trans readers.

Having to present yourself in a way that doesn’t align with who you are on the inside is a core part of the trans experience. This is supported even further by the fact that Aoi’s femininity is a large part of her act. The difference between her and Nene is that Aoi seems to be the perfect girl in every way, and Nene is far from that. Let me reiterate that, the image Aoi presents to society is one of the perfect girl. Most fans focus on the perfect part, but her femininity is also an act to an extent. To impress Nakahara (the bitch from chapter 1), Nene spent three years trying to act more feminine. She knew he liked traditionally feminine girls so she worked hard to fit that role. Part of that involved joining gardening club, the main hobby Aoi is known for. After three years of trying to fit a specific brand of femininity, Nene was still rejected for not meeting Nakahara’s standards. But the boys at school LOVE Aoi for traditionally feminine things. I’m not sure I could find the specific chapter but there’s one scene in the manga where they’re drooling over her for sweeping and marveling at how domestic she is. At first glance, Aoi appears to embody traditional femininity. But it’s all an act

She presents herself a certain way so that the school, including the boys, will love her. What’s interesting to me about the aforementioned scene is that Aoi is doing completely normal tasks and still being upheld as the pinnacle of femininity. She can’t escape the role others mole her into. She has to play into it too, in order to obscure her true self from the public eye. But when we see signs of the real Aoi, she’s not acting how a perfect girl should act. She’s reserved and quiet and nerdy and rude. This is different from the theme of femininity we see in Nene’s story, which is that femininity doesn’t have to be performed in restrictive ways. Aoi doesn’t have to find her true femininity, she has to find her true self. That’s where transmasc Aoi comes in

So how is transmasc Aoi depicted in fanon? The same as canon Aoi! That’s what I love most about this headcanon, you don’t have to change much about Aoi’s character in order to make it work. Trans Aoi is still his usual introverted and supportive self (it took me so long for find a nice adjective to describe Aoi lmao), the biggest difference I’ve noticed is that he’s usually portrayed as being the truest version of himself, which I think is beautiful. It works with canon too since these fics are typically written later in Aoi’s development when she’s begun to take steps towards embracing her real self. Trans Aoi is depicted as being a natural step in that direction. Sometimes he’s written to stay closeted for a while in order to keep up appearances, but he still gets to come out to his close friends/partners

To me this headcanon is filled with appreciation for Aoi’s character. It’s not my personal main headcanon for her (despite all I’ve said I am a lesbian Aoi lover, tho more of a bi Aoi lover for canon), but I have mad respect for everyone who chooses this as their version of Aoi. If anyone wants a really good fic for this headcanon I recommend livvidaloca’s “i could be your regular belle” on ao3. It’s Terukaneaoi and actually more transfem Akane than transmasc Aoi but it’s super good and honestly I just wanted to recommend a livvidaloca fic

I hope this helped you understand the headcanon better, thank you for the ask!!

[moonsuke]

Episode Nagi thoughts

Latest chapters just reinforce how pure Nagi is to me, probably because he really lacks social experiences? Yet, he seems to always go above and beyond when trying to understand them, the people involved, and himself in relation to it all? The insights he gain whenever he reflects upon each personal encounter are usually so genuine. Actually, I find his approach to anything in general always so genuine which is why I’ve always thought he has such a pure soul (baby chick), and why his spin-off has such an idealistic and almost childlike feel to it. Like when he saw fighting with the “facing reality” mindset isn’t working, he decided to fight while “living in a dream (as we say bye bye)” instead which again is so idealistic and poetic?

And of course he would think back to Reo because Reo’s his frame of reference and gateway to everything, which is really sweet but also tragic to me. Even during his moment of despair this chapter when he saw his dreams weren’t gonna be realised, the first thing he thought of was back to his fight with Reo and how Reo must have felt back when HIS dreams were getting crushed. Not only does it show his care for Reo, but also his level of empathy especially for someone with his level of social experience? And even more so since he was feeling angry at Reo (which I think is totally valid of him to feel that way btw).

Tbh, I felt quite mixed at first because my initial thought was “this train of thought seems kinda forced so we can get the big skull ego awakening moment”, but I do like how it portrayed Nagi as someone who really treasures his personal relationships (Reo), how they can motivate him and lead to his evolution, and how empathetic he actually is.

And the other reason why I felt mixed is what I said about him being totally valid to have felt frustrated at Reo during their fight. Nagi wasn’t the only one who said something “cruel”, Reo did too when he lashed out first. That’s why I felt really happy for Nagi when he finally pieced together that those feelings bothering him after their fight was actually “anger” because he had every right to feel that way.

But then I realised what he’s feeling now doesn’t completely negate what he felt then either. It just meant he’s able to look past his own feelings and feel sympathy for Reo instead. Him being the bigger person, empathising with Reo’s position, feeling guilty for not noticing Reo was suffering (from his inner demons), and how he could have responded differently just reflects how kind of a character he is. Like he’s just so precious to me? Nagi for sure a better person than me lol. And I’ve to keep reminding myself he never had much social interactions and experiences before this, same with soccer. I really think his entire being (or trope) can be defined as “baby chick genius” lol.

And tbh, I don’t think even the most empathetic of characters would have been able to fully grasp the feelings and level of despair Reo was in. He was feeling more than just “my dreams were getting crushed”, it’s mixed in with self-loathing, and his ego and superiority complex being crushed which led him to react that way to Nagi. It’s a hidden side of Reo and I don’t think he would want Nagi (or anyone) to know about it anyway, especially with the thoughts he was directing at Nagi. Which is why I think it would be wrong for only Nagi to apologise because that situation just wasn’t about him calling Reo a pain, it’s way more than that. But I don’t think most people who want Nagi to grovel gets it.

I guess though, the main point still remains to show us how Nagi’s understanding of human emotions and personal relationships (Reo) is a trigger for his growth/ego (dream). Still feels a little forced to me ngl, since I can’t tell if it’s a case of unreliable narrator (of Reo’s perspective) or just incoherent writing.

I like to think it’s the former considering Episode Nagi deals with miscommunications and misunderstandings leading to growth after all. Each character’s gonna have their own take on situations (accuracy notwithstanding) that’s gonna lead up to “who they become at the end”. Will just have to see where Kaneshiro is taking this~ I did notice some inconsistencies between Episode Nagi and the main Blue Lock series sometimes that give me whiplash. Like certain vibes and impressions I got from the main series, and/or their weight and importance, are different in the spin-off and I’ve difficulty reconciling them sometimes? Characterisation too sometimes and not just for Nagi and Reo. Adds to the mixed feeling I got and how I can’t simply trust in “let Kaneshiro cook” lol.

I don’t particularly have faith in how he writes interpersonal dynamics and relationships tbh. It works enough in Blue Lock since the initial theme was the rejection of “friendship is magic” for ego’s sake (which was why I got so hooked in the first place). But Episode Nagi (and Nagi’s character) is obviously heading in a different direction which I don’t mind, but like I said I don’t really have faith Kaneshiro can do it well lol.

Anyway I can’t wait for hype Nagi. I’ve a lot of thoughts on his “ego” or “dream” and the different roles and impact Reo and Isagi has on him. But I think I need to sit on it more considering I haven’t caught up with the main series… Things like why is Nagi so insistent on rejecting “ego” and replacing it with “dreams” and how it seems to be linked to gaining recognition which ties to how prodigies can only be discovered… Or how his “dream” can meant fulfilling the dreams and expectations of those around him including the world.

[playlistautism]

in my htdio feels this week can't reccomend it or talk about it enough however i will try at least a little

i love everybody's characterization and how steeped they are in their individual special interests. i've seen a lot of media with autistic (& coded) characters that while i consider good, hasn't represented that aspect very well. i think htdio not only totally kills it, but has a leg up because of the medium! being a musical, and the specific kind of musical it is, we get to see/hear/etc direct thoughts and feelings from the main characters which obviously doesn't happen in a lot of other forms of media (namely talking about tv)

because we get to see this, we get to see just exactly how all-encompassing all the character's special interests are to them. these aren't just topics or things they enjoy or think about frequently!! every aspect of their life is linked to these interests. they use these interests to relate to other things to make them easier to comprehend. these interests are crucial for their regulation.

i specifically really wanna talk about drew's!!! him processing and understanding the direction his life is going, his new feelings about that & his feelings about marideth, etc is done SOOOOO well (obvs all the others are too, but he has the most solo songs & therefore examples + is our fave char so). not only are all the science metaphors he uses just generally well-written but i think it's such a good representation for (positively) finding identity outside of humanity that is so common for autistic people. drew repeatedly refers to himself as some kind of computer software/robot/os/etc but it's of his own volition & actively is comforting to him! he is experiencing so many unknowns and new things he doesn't understand, but he does understand computers, and when he can use that special interest to make his new feelings more comprehendible for him, this is really helpful for him!! & even though comparing autistic people and robots is common (negative tone tag, even though we personally still enjoy inhuman autistic rep) i still find this representation overwhelmingly positive because not only is this Drew's own experience self-identifying that he finds comfort in, but he is starring next to 6 other autistic characters with totally different interests than him, that use their own special interests to cope in totally different ways!

& i know all of this is obvious because htdio is a very "tell" musical when it comes to the "show vs tell" storytelling concept (which is another thing we like about it) but i needed to autism out about it bc i love this musical and drew so bad. everybody is so well written and portrayed so well but drew specifically is special to us because we have a special interest in technology too and like thinking about our brain as a computer too. if u read all of this ily shoutout to the 10 other people that love this show

[grushasgods]

Hello! I'd love to know more about your worship of Morana.

Considering she is primarily the Goddess of winter, does your worship of her change at all during the different seasons? Does her "presence" or "power" (I apologise, I'm unsure of how to specify what I mean) feel at all weaker during the summer?

And furthermore, what are your thoughts and stance on how she's often portrayed in folklore and the more known traditions connected with her?

Hwta does her "death" in the spring and her "rebirth" in the autumn mean to you, and how does it reflect in your worship?

I hope none of this comes off as intrusive, I recently started worshipping Morana, and I've never met anyone else that does as well. I am personally still quite unsure of how to go about her worship, considering the folklore about her. I'm obviously trying to research as much as I can, but hearing about other pagans' opinions would definitely help! Thanks for your time in advance, and again, I hope the questions weren't too personal. :)

Hello anon! Thank you for such a thoughtful set of questions, I would love to answer! Don't worry, this doesn't come off as intrusive to me, I understand your curiosity! I hope my answers will help guide you through your journey with her. I will divide this post into two parts in order to tackle all three questions with an equal amount of love. I will cite any sources that I use as a point of reference.

On changes in worship of Morana with the seasons

Morana, as a goddess of winter, is much more present in my life during that time. As someone who has ADHD, I find my interests waiver over time, yet when winter comes, so does my interest in her. My worship does change in frequency as the seasons pass. I find that summer is the time she escapes my mind the most. Although this may not be the case for every worshipper, as I feel that everyone's worship is different and unique to them. I think this may also be because I have yet to set a time in my schedule dedicated to worship, as I wish I could.

On Morana's role in folklore and myth & her birth and death

I've seen quite a bit of stories about Morana in my personal research, but there is a certain tale that was modernized/reconstructed that I find interesting. I first found it on a blog, and I immediately felt drawn to Morana's role in it. It's the story of her love for her husband, Yarilo (god of summer and fertility), and the reason as to why her effigy is drowned on Deadly Sunday (1). It's quite a weird tale when taken into full consideration, but despite that I find myself in love with it. The story says that Yarilo and Morana fell in love and wed, but when Yarilo cheated on Morana, she killed him. However, Morana could not live without her love (2, 3). So comes the cycle of seasons, as Yarilo and Morana eternally yearn and cause eachother's demises. I interpret this story as a tale of femininity, which is how I came to love Morana so much. I love her in all of her glory, and I think that even traditions that may seem a bit discomforting to the average worshipper are important to understanding Morana. It's important to understand why these celebrations exist and to honor them.

To close out this post, I'd like to thank you for the opportunity to rave about Morana and her stories! If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Have a wonderful winter, and I hope your journey is full of awe.

[itgr]

ITGR and the Aromantic and Asexual Spectrum

aka a long, pretentious, non coherent, semi analytical ramble I took a month to make about ITGR and how aspec coded it feels to me. Brought to you by someone who re read the series three times in the last nine months

I was originally going to write about how aspec coded every character feels individually in reference to this post but then I realised, I've always found that ITGR as a general narrative and comic had aspec vibes and I couldn't pin point why until recently. So I wrote this analysis (?) dissecting different patterns I noticed with characters and the general narrative themes and why it just feels aspec to me.

Obligatory disclaimers and preface: I will be using "aspec" as a shorthand term for both the aromantic and asexual spectrums (I will use "acespec" when talking about the asexual spectrum and "arospec" when talking about the aromantic spectrum specifically). I'm not trying to claim any of this was intentional on the part of Grave or trying to speculate that Grave is secretly aspec. I know a lot of the things I view as aspec coding could be explained away by a character's trauma or implied mental illness but I'm going to be largely viewing things through an aspec specific lens for the sake of this specific analysis (also aspec people can have mental illnesses or trauma that can feed into eachother and that doesn't take away from the fact they're aspec or vice versa).

This is all just a very aspec centered interpretation of ITGR and I'm not trying to claim it's the "correct" or "only" way to interpret the comic (also i will be sprinkling in aspec headcanons here and there and you will just have to deal with that, sorry <- some characters dont have specific orientations that come to mind for me. they're just somewhere on the ace/aro spectrums/hj). Some of this is based on 'evidence' in the text or like narrative implications and framing and the other half is based on vibes/hj and, I can not stress this enough, just because I headcanon a character with a specific label doesn't mean I think the character would ever use that label or even know what that label is. It's more about finding a term I think generally describes how I interpret that character as experiencing attraction

Word count: 4869

Part 1 : ITGR and the Performative Nature of Love and Attraction

Idk, there's just something about the way love and attraction are represented in this comic that feels aspec? Unlike a lot of other stories, I've read, ITGR kind of portrays love and attraction in such a detached manner I can't quite describe, especially early on. Love's ironically not romanticised and is either portrayed as something fucked up or as something performative with some exceptions (more on those later). Let's start with the examples in which attraction is portrayed as performative, starting with the most obvious example: Satan.

Satan spends most of his time, taunting and toying with his reapers in a number of ways with various levels of flirtation, with Scarlet being the one he flirts with the most. He makes a lot of passes and allusions to love with her because he likes toying with her and is really possessive over her. In some scenes, especially early on, he comes across more like a jealous ex-boyfriend than he does a boss. The way Satan acts around Scarlet and Brook is so interesting because I honestly dont believe Satan actually wants to be worshipped or that he has any attraction to Scarlet. He's just a bored million year old being who's trying to have fun, and he's doing whatever he thinks will make them uncomfortable because that's fun to him. This becomes more apparent with the fact that the only time we ever see him be uncomfortable is in Episode 94 when he's meeting with Ashe. Ashe (at this point) is someone who practically worships him and treats Satan how he implies he wants Scarlet or Brook to treat him. And he hates it.

Its so interesting that when Satan's given something he has been implied to "want" this whole time, he absolutely hates it and is uncomfortable. Which signals to me that he doesn’t flirt with Scarlet or mess around with Brook because he genuinely wants them to submit or because he actually wants Scarlet to fall for him. He does it because he enjoys the fun of getting reactions out of people and he likes being entertained. He likes the chase but I don't think he'd be happy long term if they ever actually completely submitted and did everything he claims he wanted. Something about the way Satan does sexual and romantic coded things in a performative way without actually wanting anything feels so aspec coded to me (diversity loses! the worst person you know is acespec and aromantic coded!).

The other most obvious example to me is Azrael (I have a separate already semi written ramble about the general queer coding in Azrael's character, but that's for another day). He's probably the other only character in ITGR that is as openly flirty as Satan and despite that, all of his scenes flirting with people just convinces me he's not interested in the people he flirts with😭. All his scenes flirting with Celeste and Bernadette feel performative and hollow because of the fact that he doesn't seem to be genuinely interested in them romantically or sexually. He knows how and when Celeste and Bernadette are going to die and I think flirting with them is either a way for him to either please them and make them happy before they die or a way for him to entertain himself or both. Like his interactions don't read to me as "Oh guy flirting with women because he wants to date them/have sex with them because he thinks they're hot." They read to me as "guy who wants to have such much fun as he can and explore as many possibilities as he can with people he knows are going to die." His entire date with Celeste was essentially a way for him to learn more about her and almost 'test' the extent of her loyalty to God because he was curious. When Bernadette dies, there's no romantic element to him comforting her at all, despite the fact he spent so much of their interactions flirting with her.

The only other person we ever see him 'flirt' with is the princess from his time being alive and even there, at no point do we get any narration of how he feels about her or any comments about having feelings for her. It's heavily implied he was only being romantic with her by agreeing to marry her because he wanted her to have one good thing before she died so her death wouldn't be as painful. I have a theory/interpretation that to Azrael, there's an inherent relation between flirting and death and that he only flirts with people if he knows when they'll die (even if the flirting isn't genuine on his part). This idea is supported by the fact that post season 4 and Nyra destroying his ability to see the future and how she'll die, he doesn't flirt with her at all (which also more evidence that his interest in her was never genuine). Anyways, because of the performative nature of his flirtation with different characters, he's aspec coded to me (and he likes men but that's for another ramble).

I think the other example of a character expressing attraction only to reveal romance/sex isn't what they're after is surprisingly Wrynn? I have less compelling case for her compared to the others but I find it interesting that it would have been very easy to just make her in love with Ashe in a conventional romantic and sexual way but no. She doesn't want to date him. She wants to go back to being one with him (something something love as consumption but we don't have time for that). Episode 182 sets them in such a specific way (by giving them a lot of romantic and sexual tension and also an almost kiss) but even then, the reason she's doing all of that is so he can eat her and they go back to sharing a body because that's probably what an ideal relationship is like to her. I guess to me, having a character have so many signifiers of conventional allo (aka not aspec) attraction only to reveal they're actually not after sex or conventional romance and more into their own unconventional form of romance (if you can call it that) feels very aspec to me.

I've just noticed this consistent pattern with characters performing acts to signify attraction only to subvert that but either implicitly or explicitly showing that sex or romance isn't what they're after and it'd be one thing if it was one character (i'd still argue that this hypothetically character would be aspec but it'd be an isolated case) but the consistent pattern is borderline fascinating to me? It just creates such an interesting narrative and almost world? In a lot of media, romance and sex are just considered normal or expected but here, in ITGR, they're really not. Characters can perform attraction but that doesn't take away from the fact that more often than not, they're usually interested in something else and I dont know, I've always found it interesting.

Part 2: ITGR and the Horror of Attraction

I feel like a lot of media treats romantic relationships and attraction as generally good things that can be fucked up but usually when it is, it's framed an isolated event and I find it interesting how ITGR highlights a lot of the more fucked up aspects in romance and relationships. ITGR doesn't frame love as something inherently good or benevolent and I think there's something about that just feels aspec to me. I'm not trying to say romance or sex are inherently bad or fucked up. I just think that, like with anything, there is a certain amount of horror that can be drawn from and created from the concepts of attraction and I feel like the potential horror of romantic relationships (not necessarily even abusive relationships. Just the horror that can be drawn from the concept of being in a romantic/sexual relationship or being in love), or the ways love can be warped and turned into something terrifying is something that stands out more to aspec people than allo people if that makes sense.

I feel like ITGR frames love and attraction as something capable of being bad and hurting people as much as anything else. Jordan, the first sinner Scarlet ever kills, uses romantic flirtation as a weapon to lure women and kill them. It highlights the darker flipside of flirting and how flirting, something very common in romantic and sexual situations which is usually seen as positive or alluring, can be used to lower someone's guard and commit harm and violence. The reversal of using something romantic/sexual that is usually used to make characters look cool or charismatic only to use it highlights how dangerous it can be in a specific context has aspec undertones to me.

Another example is how ITGR deconstructs parts of the tsundere trope in Chase's past in Episode 15 and showcases the darker aspects of being in love. Here, love isn't framed as a good and positive emotion, it's framed as something fucked up that can leave you vulnerable to abusive and harmful situations because of the ways it can make you idealise someone which can make you blind to their abusive behaviour. I find it interesting how ITGR deconstructs some parts of the tsundere trope (aka a trope where a character acts cold and hostile to their love interest but gradually opens up) by showing how someone who is constantly mean and demeaning and physically abusive to you can be harmful. I find it interesting specifically because I feel like tsundere characters' hostile actions are sometimes justified by people using the fact they're in love, which implies that just because they're in love, it justifies them hurting someone, therefore framing love as a benevolent force that can excuse certain bad actions as long as they're for the sake of love. (BTW I feel like saying: I don't think the tsundere trope is a bad character trope. I think it depends on the execution and just find the way ITGR handles it to be interesting T-T). In this episode, ITGR instead implicitly claims that love can't justify bad actions, which further its grander treatment of viewing love as an emotion as any other, instead of putting it on a pedestal or treating it with extra importance like a lot of other media.

I think the other main example of ITGR highlighting a fucked up side to the concept of love is Liam's entire character. Liam's spiral after he realises Ana is dead is both terrifying and tragic. Liam killing an innocent man so he can be with her takes something that in some contexts would be seen as romantic (the fact that someone would be willing to go to such great lengths for someone they love) and twists it to an extreme to highlight how terrifying it is that love can be so all consuming that it warps someone's values and makes them do terrible things in the name of love. I feel less strongly about this but I also feel like there's something mildly horrifying about the fact that he's willing to do this for someone might not returns his feelings. Something about him assuming they were meant to be, despite never asking her, kinda also hits that "love as something horrific" horror spot but I feel like that's a weaker point.

ITGR just consistently frames love like another other emotion that has the capacity to do harm and in contrast to the way most media places extra importance or goodness on love and relationships, ITGR views it in a very detached perspective that feels very aspec to me and I hoped I managed to express that idea with these examples.

Part 3: ITGR and OOPS! THE MAIN COUPLE'S REALLY QUEERPLATONIC AND ASPEC (coded)!

Okay so up to this point, you might be thinking "Wait, what about Scarlet and Chase? They're the main characters and they're in love and are explicitly sexually attracted to each other" and to that, I say "Well yes, but no, but yes"/lh. I'm going to preface this by saying that this is probably going to be the most incomprehensible and hard to explain part of this analysis (?). When I said there's a few exceptions to ITGR framing love as something performative or fucked up, they're one of the main examples (I WROTE THIS BEFORE VER AND EVERETTE OOPS). Chase and Scarlet's romantic and sexual feelings for eachother are framed positively and tragically, you're supposed to be rooting for these two little doomed by the narrative dorks. That being said, they're both aspec as fuck 😭 sorry, not sorry, the aspec agenda doesn't end I'm afraid. I'll start with Scarlet because my interpretation of her is a lot more based on tangible evidence (while Chase is half based on vibes tbh/hj). She reads to me as demisexual and some flavour of arospec (greyromantic or even demiromantic). I think it's largely the fact she doesnt really seem to experience sexual attraction towards anyone, including Chase, until way later on. You could argue it didn't even start appearing until after she left the 9th layer (so it took her 25+ years to start experiencing sexual attraction towards someone she has romantic (?) feelings for). I know that you could probably argue that it's a trauma thing but that doesn't take away from the interpretation (demisexual people can have trauma and still be demisexual).

I feel less strongly about her being greyromantic but I still feel like that's another possible interpretation. It's mostly because I can't really see her being attracted to anyone? I think I know why scarlets orientation is hard for me to pin down. I think it's because I can't really imagine her being interested in men or women?? Like, I'd make sapphic jokes about her but I honestly just don't think she'd be interested in women. Or men. Honestly I feel like she's not attracted to any gender. If she ever is "attracted" to someone it's because they're someone who gets close to her and she's grown an attachment to them. Like she'd still be in love with chase if he was a girl. But also, I don't think she's attracted to any specific gender or any gender in general but also has the capacity to like any gender and I feel like calling her pan just doesn't fit so. Um. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed my unlabelled Scarlet side tangent. All of that being said, her not really feeling attraction for anyone except one person and it has to be someone she's formed a pre existing strong bond with…. Yeah. Need I say more/hj. (The unlabelled demisexual arospec Scarlet agenda is real)

Now onto Chase, also known as the vibe check. I'm going to be honest, something about him screams aromantic allosexual to me in a way I can barely convey. I think it's maybe the way when he talks about his ex, he talks about how hot she is, instead of talking about what parts of her personality attracted him to her. Also, I might be projecting but something about him canonically having a lot of failed relationships also just kind of contributes to the aroallo vibes I get (I'm not saying every aroallo person is going to inherently have dysfunctional relationships but I am saying it's not an uncommon experience for aromantic people to have a lot of past relationships that didn't work out due to "something" feeling off. Gestures). There's also the fact that while Scarlet takes a while to show any overt signs of physical or sexual attraction towards him (I was gonna say, this is except for her blushing when she sees him shirtless in Episode 13 but I went back and no she doesn't so demi Scarlet is so real), he does it a lot sooner than her and I don't know, there's something about how his feelings for her derive more from the fact he sees her as his equal or even above him while he struggles with human connection and attachment with most people and how his expression of romantic love isn't really conventional which feels very aromantic and queerplatonic to me. I guess I've always interpreted Chase having queerplatonic feelings for Scarlet that are romantic adjacent (Not saying all queerplatonic relationships are the same as romantic relationships, it heavily depends on the people in the relationship and how they feel and I just think Chase seems like a romance favourable aromantic person who'd label their queerplatonic feelings as romantic <- I don't think any of these characters know what the aromantic spectrum is, much less what queerplatonic relationships are. I just feel like, if we wanted to be technically, Chase's feelings for Scarlet, to me, aren't really romantic but I think he'd feel comfortable labelling them as such. I hope that made sense). To be fair, in a comic where like, over the half the main cast is heavily coded with at least one cluster b personality disorder/hj (I might make a post of how many characters in this comic have cluster b coded traits or symptoms as someone with two cluster b disorder but that's for another day), it makes sense that a lot of the connections and attachments characters make feel unconventional because a lot of these characters have issues related to attachment but even that, I'd argue that doesn't take away from the aspec reading.

Ever since I started reading ITGR back when season one and two were coming out, I'll never forget just. Not seeing the romance between Scarlet and Chase at all and being jumpscared when it became overtly canon because there was always something about their romance that felt, for lack of a better word, empty (NOT IN A BAD WAY) to me? And I just couldn't articulate what it was about their interactions and romance that felt so off and unconventional to me until now. I think it's partially also because of the way all their romantic scenes pre the season three finale focus more on affirming how much they care about and are attached to eachother as people, rather than how "in love" they are? And also the way their main forms of affection is hugs or physical touch and there's not really any "OMG O////O ARE WE ABOUT TO KISS???/!??@?@?" moment. Even in Episode 42, when we get a bit of a kiss tease, there's not blushing on either of their ends and Chase is talking more about how much he cares about her as a person and how much he's come to respect her and how even he, someone who in a way views himself as superior to most people and tries to position himself as someone worthy of deciding what's just and what isn't, has come to view her the ultimate judgement and he respects that (THAT WAS MORE INTIMATE THAN ANY LOVE CONFESSION BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT). And even when he says he wants to see her in the eyes when she kills him, it's more about wanting to see her as a person before she dies. There's love there but it feels different than romantic love to me. Like, it's so intimate and unconventional and something about how we're four seasons in and they haven't kissed yet and the way their entire relationship is written and the way they express love and attachment to eachother has major queerplatonic undertones to me.

There's just something about how the main romance in this comic has a surprising lack of emphasis on romance. Anyways, I love my little murderous aspec people in a romantic QPR/lh.

Part 4: ITGR and The Aromantic One and the One That Wasn't (aka ITGR and the Devastation of Amatanormativity)

Amatanormativity is the common belief and societal assumption that everyone desires to be in a monogamous romantic and sexual relationship and marriage and it has caused a lot of pain to a lot of people but aspec people specifically (it's similar to heteronormativity and gay people). There are two examples of ITGR critiquing amatanormativity and highlighting how much pain it can cause, one indirect and one direct. Critiques and depictions of the harm amatanormativity causes are generally hard to find in most media and are mostly confined to media explicitly centered around aspec people and that's why it's actually surprising to me that (while I don't think it was intentional at all), on top of all the aspec undertones ITGR has, it also directly and indirectly critiques a societal expectation that inherently hurts and deeply affects aspec people.

I'm actually surprised I made it this long without talking about Brook at all. That being said, there's actually one character I need to talk about before I talk about him: Ana. Despite Brook being the explicit and more blatantly canon example of an aromantic character, Ana's backstory indirectly represents a common issue aspec people face. I know it's later revealed by Liam in Episode 48 that the man Ana married was a man she hadn't met prior but I still think there's a way to interpret her backstory through an aspec lense (Misogyny definitely has a part to play in Ana's backstory but I don't think misogyny being a factor takes away from an aspec interpretation of it and vice versa). There's just something quintessentially aspec to me about Ana's horrified face in episode 11 when we see her and her fiance as she remarks that she "didn't feel anything".

Her entire life fell apart because her abusive parents pushed amatanormativity onto her. It's the way she literally tries to tell them she doesn't want to get married or have children (implying she was happy being single and pursing her writing career) and they dismiss her and call her stupid and tell her that every woman wants to get married. They dismiss the notation anyone (any woman specifically) could be happy without marriage, or a relationship. Ana decides to do what they say and I know it's never explicitly shown but I think she wanted to believe they were right and that she'd develop feelings for her husband and be happy eventually if she just conformed and did what they said. It's possible she could have felt like she was wrong (or. broken/hj) and that she wanted to believe that marriage would "fix" her and make her happy (because society and amatanormativity consistently pushes the idea that marriage = happiness) and that would explain the horror in her face when she realised she didn't feel anything. It's also further supported by her line "Where was that happiness I was promised?". Her parents, society and amatanormativity literally kept telling her that she couldn't be happy if she stayed single and childless and sold her the idea that getting married would fix her and make her happy and that destroyed her life and, regardless of if Ana was supposed to represent an aspec struggle, it still stands as indirect commentary on how amatanormativity can hurt people who don't want to be married (or in relationships) (semi related but I personally headcanon Ana as aroace or arospec asexual ^^).

And with that said, let's move onto the only actually canonically aspec character in this comic: Brook, who's canonically aromantic. Also Brook being aromantic is canon regardless of it's explicitly said or not. I could go on a whole tangent about queer representation and the double standards between other queer rep and aspec rep when it comes to needing authorial intent to be seen as "real" rep but the short of it is that Brook's aromantic, not only because he said he's not interested in romantic relationships but because, on a fundamental level, he doesn't understand what romantic feelings are like and how they work. He's confused by the concept of romantic feelings, because he doesn't feel them. I don't think there's another way to interpret that. He's literally textbook aromantic. I'm not saying that trauma hasn't maybe influenced that and vice versa but you can be aromantic and have cptsd. I also feel the need to debunk the idea that Brook's time as reaper "made him detached from romantic love so he's not really aromantic" because that doesn't make sense. Yes, Brook's time as a reaper probably made him even more detached from human connections than he already was but there is no indication that he felt romantic feelings before being a reaper. He quite literally shows no interest in romance at any point in the comic, even before he died (also, again, while his lack of general ambition in anything could be interpreted as the product of some kind of neurodivergency or mental disorder, but that doesn't mean he can't also be aromantic). The fact he doesn't understand romance to begin with heavily implies he's never experienced it and doesn't experience romantic feelings in general, hence that he's aromantic.

Now that that's established, I want to talk about how ITGR depicts the feeling of isolation that can sometimes come with being aromantic, which in itself is kind of caused by amatanormativity. There's several scenes in the comic (Episode 176 being the most obvious example) where Brook laments getting attached to Chase and Scarlet because they're in love (well. Wellllllll, adajcent anyway/hj) and he feels like he'll never mean as much to them as they mean to eachother. He feels like because he's not romantically with either of them, he'll never the first priority to them (I personally headcanon as Brook having mild queerplatonic feelings for Scarlet but its not relevant right now and we don't have time for that). I feel like it's very common for aromantic people to feel isolated as a lot of their friends gets into relationships and because of how romantic relationships are seen as "superior" and it's nice of ITGR to represent that in a way. I feel like we do sometimes get canonically aspec characters in media but usually, if they're not the main main character, we don't really get much about how being aspec affects their lives and relationships? Or what their specific relationship to being aspec is? I feel like a lot of media ignores the complexities of being aspec which is why I really love Brook as a canonically aromantic character. While in most media, the aspecness of a character is more of a footnote and is usually treated as a label that's simply slapped onto a character, Brook's aromanticism doesn't exist in isolation and it directly ties back to several parts of his characters. It informs some of his feelings and thoughts. It feels like something tangible. I think it says a lot about how the writing that Brook is written so much like an aromantic character and his struggles with not feeling romantic attraction are treated with complexity that I genuinely forgot it's not explicitly ever said he is aromantic. I don't know, I really like him as aromantic rep.

Part 5: Bonus Headcanons + Conclusion

I didn't have any specific sections to put these headcanons in so I'm just going to through a bunch out there. Ashe is so greyromantic and greysexual to me. Like he definitely had feelings for the wife he's implied to have had when he was alive but I like to think he doesn't really feel attraction outside of that one specific person. Nyra screams arospec asexual lesbian to me. That's it. Send post. Need I say more? (I'm never getting over how her date with Azrael just convinced me that neither of them are attracted to the other's gender/lh). Oddly enough, I don't have that many headcanons about Bernadette. I'd say she could be ace? Vibes anyway. Scarlet's unnamed childhood best friend is so aroallo to me (vibe checked). I wrote a lot of this before Ver and Everette's interactions were revealed so you can either interpret them as the token allos or they can be acespec as a treat/hj.

With all of that done, thank you to anyone who actually read this whole thing. I am so sorry I'm insane/lh. I hope you enjoyed hearing out this interpretation. I feel like this analysis (?) has finally allowed me to be able to articulate why ITGR has always read to me as an aspec heavy piece of media despite only one character being canonically aspec, it's a combination of several things but mostly just the way the comic views love in such a detached and unglamourised way compared to a lot of other media. Love and attraction are still in the comic but the forms of love we see are unconventional. It kind of creates a world where genuine love and attraction aren't really the default, like out of the most openly flirty characters in the comic, most of them have ulterior motive and their flirty is performative and I find that so interesting. I don't think this is necessarily the only way to interpret a lot of the characters and themes but I hope I've opened your eyes to the aspec ITGR reading ^^

[seraphdescent]

i was trying to find some japanese transcript translations and i found some page last night that went over the differences, one being the relationship between seifer and rinoa and how it was more a love triangle in english but not so much so in whatever language was doing a translation ( i don't remember if it was japanese or not, may've been a different one ), and that it was heavily implied in that other language seifer was involved in the owls over the summer & implied plans to help rinoa with dollet ( which is how i always felt it went down and why he knew the mission squall zell and selphie was on was so damn dangerous pushing him into action ). it suggested rinoa may've learned some fighting that summer too in reference to fujin and rinoa's weapons of choice being similiar ( i honestly forgot fujin's weapon so i'm not sure if they are close enough to catch attention )

but then i stopped reading when it suggested rinoa was portrayed as a skank in the english version because how dare a girl catch feels for another dude after another one ended a damn year ago that she was never officially dating ( as she says in the english script anyway she never really knew how HE felt while she seemed to think she was in love with him )

[ i also want to throw it out there that i think the english version of seifer implied there was something romantic there even without a commitment and he'd attempted to weaponize her feelings just before a battle ie "Are you really going to fight me, Rinoa? Remember last summer when we-" "Stop it!" so he seemed pretty well aware about her feelings towards him at minimum ]

rinoa's birthday is on march 3rd, same as mine btw!, so the summer she was 16 and smitting with seifer she'd just turned 16 a few months ago before summer started.

that was legit a whole ass year ago and it doesn't sound like they were in any kind of committed relationship and the romantic feelings might have every well been just on rinoa's side ( even though it seems to me seifer was invested in her on some level, be it because he did like her or because her ambitions were something that could boost himself to a level of heroism he seems to desire ). god forbid she gets a crush on someone else; wat a harlot.

idk if this perception is still bad but man 'she had feelings for more than 1 dude so she a hoe' mentality grinds my gears.