#Truly two halves of a whole idiot
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Max giggling at the chain reaction caused by Fernando's breaks locking up and covering his mouth to hide it in the cooldown room at the Chinese GP 🤝 Charles giggling at Max's rear break exploding and covering his mouth to hide it in the cooldown room at the Australian GP.
They're the same brand of insane, your honor.
#Lestappen#Max Verstappen#Charles Leclerc#Chinese GP 2024#F1#Formula 1#Truly two halves of a whole idiot
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(SEMI) CHARMED KIND OF LIFE: EPISODE 2, PART I. “THE HARDEST PART IS SAYING SORRY (WITH YOUR DIGNITY INTACT)”
Transcript Below.
[July 9, 2023. Cut to the interior where Damien and his closest friend and roommate Akira are inside, working out – Damien practicing boxing, Akira on one of the treadmills nearby.]
AKIRA: – So reverse-stalk her work schedule and show up when you know she’s not gonna be there, dude. Switching up our spot, that we went to before you even met her, is bullshit. Coming all the way out to Moony Loony territory when we could have just literally walked a block to a really nice place that doubles as MILF Heaven is also bullshit. – Look around, Charm, there are zero luxurious cougars doing yoga, it’s a hairy dude sausage party in here and it blows.
DAMIEN: What is your fucked up obsession with yoga moms? [He wrinkles his nose in mock disgust, perking a questionable and curious brow.] Do you need to talk about it? Not with me, I don’t wanna hear that shit, but like, with a professional?
AKIRA: I read in one of those women studies books Grace left laying around one time that they hit their peak in their forties, plus, from personal experience, they either have to keep it casual ‘cause they’re already married or they’ve been-there-done-that with the whole commitment thing so it’s all just for fun, you know? None of them take me seriously, I don’t have to take any of them seriously, it’s the ideal situationship if you know how to game the system.
DAMIEN: I shoulda brought Gracie, you are the last person someone should ask relationship advice from. AKIRA: I’m the best person, what the fuck?
#Story Simblr#TS4#The Sims 4 Story#TS4 Story#TS4 Edit#(Semi) Charmed Kind of Life#SCKoL#Damien Charm#Akira Kibo#If you thought Damien was stupid by himself readers you are in for a ride#Damekira are two halves of a whole fuckin idiot and they are the embodiment of those bro memes 100%#I love writing dudes with more unearned confidence than thought processes it truly is a beautiful medium#They'll say the most unhinged stream of consciousness shit you've ever heard in your life like it's a profound piece of secret knowledge#Also very rarely do you get to write the phrase “luxurious cougars” in a sentence I'm glad this trash boi muse gives me such opportunities#You *should* have brought Grace Damien. No good will come from this.
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One and Two can do no wrong they are simply too silly for that
Sillies <3
#emd au#emd au one#emd au two#GOD I LOVE THESE MORONS#they are truly two halves of a whole idiot#the sillies#the worsties#AHHHHH READ THIS FANFIC#JUST DO IT
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New headcannon: shortly after Sugar started staying at the estate, Valera came for a visit, and Sugar decided “Yes, I want to be exactly like this person”. Everything they know about flirting and seduction, they learned from her.
Typing this out makes me imagine the headache Liza would get if both Sugar and Valera came into her diner at once. I give it a 50/50 chance that she would just head home early and tell Sugar to lock up for her.
Sugar and Valera truly are two halves of a whole idiot and I love that for them 😂 I'm sure Valera would be honored to have such a dedicated pupil under her care and Liza would have her hands full!
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truly do love that cosmo and wanda are two halves of a whole idiot
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just finished all the remainder of the episodes of fop a new wish that i didn't finish (so crocker to the future to lost in fairy world) and i really liked it!
overall, banger after banger this show really is a fun one, nickelodeon better give em a s2 PLEASE THIS IS THE ONLY CURRENTLY RUNNING SHOW I HAVE-
episode reviews below!
Crocker to the Future: genuinely loved all the parascience things. I do 100% feel like that award for preserving in the face of adversity or whatever truly belonged to Crocker. my guy was at this for like. 10+ years! AND THAT"S JUST THE OG FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!!! MY GUY WAS ON HIS "fairies are real!!! trust me!!" thing for ENOUGH TIME FOR FOP A NEW WISH TO TAKE PLACE!!!!!! i'm so glad he (sort of) got to have the award in that ghost containment thing.
AJ in the episode was interesting but honestly major L for AJ. I thought he'd be like the next einstein, not a parascience mf. maybe Timmy Turner fucked him up a bit, who knows...
Battle of the Dimmsonian: Genuinely felt bad for Peri here. Like DUDE. You are stuck with this asshole kid (Dev I love you but be nicer plss) who just sorta demands things from Peri like all the damn time? poor kid. Reminds me of what Remy Buxaplenty had with his godparent but at least wandisimo had a semi-similar personality so it kind of worked. Not saying that Peri and Dev don't work, it might since Dev has been shown to be nice underneath but I can't stand the blatant mistreatment for now.
But also, damnnnn he IMMEDIATELY recognizes his parents and goes "oh shit" it's crazy how he managed to do that when they're fidget toys on a kid's backpack.
I also liked the whole back and forth thing ("Mom? Dad?" "Son?" etc), Cosmo being the only one to not do that is so true for him.
I wonder if Peri not seeing Cosmo and Wanda was intentional, we'll see!
Patty Possum's Party Playground: I almost thought this episode was gonna be like Five Night's At Freddy's or somethign with the animatronics but I guess not! I liked Patty Possum, she's so rad! I can defo see why Winn liked skateboarding after that. I love Cosmo and Wanda being certified idiots in this episode. They took "you can't use magic" seriously (as seriously as "oh Wanda shrunk into the claw machine so we could actually get a prize" can be) and stuck BOTH of their wands in the claw machine. If there's anything I love about this show, it's Cosmo and Wanda being two halves of a whole idiot. Truly can't function without magic fr fr I liked the gag of Hazel's dad literally being punctual as hell. That scene where he's like "oh it only takes 29 min and 30 seconds to get there" and then it hits 7:30 and he's panicking is so real (what if I headcanoned him as autistic. what then? just like me fr fr).
A Date To Remember: A really cute episode where Hazel essentially has to compete against Cupid (who looks like a baby now, I guess they got rid of his looks from the main series and gave them to Peri lol) [look how they untwinkified my boy /j] to make sure Hazel's parents fall back in love again. The ending where the parents think it was just another puppet show was crazy, wasn't expecting that tbh!
Lost In Fairy World: WE GOT THE FAIRY TRIO INTERACTING LET'S GOOOOOOO
It seems like their dynamic is basically just over protective coddling parents vs their son who really doesn't like it. But despite what I used to think before seeing this episode (that maybe Peri had some kind of resentment or something) it doesn't seem that way? Peri seems to like his parents overall and maybe even might enjoy the affection (if it weren't for the godkids there), but I get why he turned off the tracker and such. My guy wants independence! You go boy! Them sneaking in to Jorgan's office was really funny and stuff. I hope we'll see them all together in the next episodes because I like their dynamic and want to see where it goes!
Dev and Hazel were great here too! Dev is still kind of an ass to Peri but not as much which is an improvement! I like how he gets that "dimmadome face" or whatever it was called where he basically looks as deranged as his dad. Like father, like son I guess. Dev and Hazel actually having fun together is a step up from where they used to be, it seems like they solved their argument somehow. Dev sort of took that to mean that they weren't friends anymore, poor thing.
Dev taking advantage of the loopholes is so smart lol, Peri having a crisis and his parents like "AWWW, baby's first loophole wish!" is crazy.
The rule that "you can only go to fairy world if you're being tested by jorgan" doesn't really make sense if you think about original FOP though. Timmy got to go there almost recreationally! Dude probably attended like 90% of all fairy world events and shit and he was the talk for the town for an entire episode! Make it make sense!!!
Overall tho I LOVED these and they were enjoyable af. Would watch again. Judging by what I saw for descriptions of the next episodes, Peri's anti fairy (or Foop, now known as Irep, which if you ask me doesn't have the same ring to it) will be working with Dev? Crazy. Anyways yeah I had a lot of fun and woah this post got kinda long
#posts#fop a new wish#I feel like I do these reviews a lot should I make up a new tag for them#also no I won't review the first half but I might keep this up till the finale or smth
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dante has zero rizz but lady pines after him anyway. truly two halves of a whole idiot
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I'm rereading @vulgarweed's "The Straw Man Fallacy," and let me tell you, these two idiots really don't do anything by halves.
He looked down, embarrassed but full of conviction, speaking more softly but unable to look Sherlock full in the eyes. “I think your first time should be special.” “I'm to be ritually deflowered in a pagan ceremony, possibly by a man wearing a mask and antlers or some such, while a whole town looks on, in the belief that human sexual displays have some sort of beneficial effect on agriculture. I'm not sure how much more special I could take.” John's eyes darted helplessly to the walls, to the windows, looking for help. Helpless he remained. There really was nothing that Sherlock wouldn't use in the pursuit of a puzzle, was there? “I just . . . I think it should be someone you trust. Someone who cares about you.” “Believe it or not, I agree. That's why my first choice to do the honours is you.” All right, that floor really was wavering now. Even Lord Summerisle was sympathetic. “Sit, Dr. Watson, please. Shocks are much better absorbed with the knees bent. Here, that's a good fellow.” He took John's glass and refilled it, and John chugged it in just the way whisky of that quality should not be chugged. “Your first choice,” was all John managed to growl out. “Yes, of course. I've always found you attractive, since the day we met, and that effect has increased over time, not diminished. You're very loyal to me, you're certainly brave enough to handle this, and I know that you do have sexual feelings towards me, and that the customs of Summerisle are inflaming your already highly active libido. I don't think I'm asking you to do anything that you don't already want to do. But of course you can refuse, and I'll find an alternative. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, I think Lord Summerisle himself has been sending signals that he's not completely averse to claiming the droit du seigneur . . .” “Oh God. Sherlock. Just --” “Lay off it a bit, Mr. Holmes,” Miss Rose said gently. “Give him a moment.” “Bit not good?” Sherlock asked. “A bit, yeah,” John whispered.
It's.... something else, I'll just say. Something really, really good, truly creative and captivating and hilarious, but something else nonetheless. Do read it if you haven't already.
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Hi hi hi, I would love to hear more of your Dan thoughts! I'm intrigued!!!
>:]!!!!!!!!!! >:D!!!!!!
Ok ok so I've never really tried to put my thoughts into words before so this might be a bit of a mess usually I'm just rotating him in my mind but yes yes yes I have Dan thoughts I want to share my Dan thoughts
I only focus on agit at the end so this is pretty spoiler free for that I think maybe. Thumbs up emoji
Dan is a fun character because despite only having one episode we can still tell alot about his personality and such, as he's rather bold with it and is a fusion of two characters we do see alot, and it really shows! I flip between saying Dan or more Danny than Vlad and saying that they're basically equal in the fusion, but I think a good way to describe it is that he takes different aspects from them, for his appearance and memories he very much takes after Danny, but his personality and how he acts n talks oozes Vlad. Yknow??? If I'm saying the right words here. Dan works so well as a fusion because he also manages to feel like his own character as well
Dan is made from the two's ghost halves, so I'm a fan of the theory/thought I do believe I've seen before that he's based on the ghost halves. Like. Vlad used his ghost form and powers for scheming, attacking, gaining power, and so on, I'd easily imagine he doesn't use it nearly as much as Danny. Danny had to use his ghost form mostly for fighting other ghosts, very frequently, and also used his powers for his own benefit as well, though not nearly as extreme as Vlad. As Danny was in his ghost form more, and as it was more connected to his ghost form (phantom just being an inverted Danny VS Vlad's completely different from himself ghost form, even down to body type) it makes sense why Dan would be more Danny focused, especially in terms of his relationship with others and memories. Vlad's things don't matter to him nearly as much. I mean, he seemingly couldn't find Vlad's new hideout that was under a Welcome to Wisconsin sign, and its ghost zone entrance behind a football
"The only remaining portal, the one my idiot cheesehead archenemy has? As soon as I find it that's going too."
He doesn't respect Vlad in the slightest or seem to care about him. Danny found Vlad's portal almost immediately. So either Dan simply couldn't remember things Vlad liked well enough to guess, and/or, he truly couldn't care less and didn't bother too hard with the search. Both makes sense, and since Vlad is fully human that very likely adds to the contempt and not seeing him as threat enough to find the portal quickly.
Something interesting, is the fact Dan knows Vlad had a portal at all, Dan partially destroyed Vlad's castle after being formed and its clearly in a different location now, unless that cave Vlad is in streaches all the way to his castle's basement Dan hasn't bothered checking? Which is. Unlikely. Which means Vlad had to make a new one. And Dan knew he did. Much to think about there I believe.
I do also think Dan actually doesn't remember his past terribly well. I know I know I just said he's focused on Danny's memories and life, and he is! But also. Its a bit separated from him, the episode itself actually points out him forgetting things about his family several times, it really does feel like they're trying to stress to you, really hammer it in that he's forgotten them some way. It's mentioned offhand like 2 or 3 times.
When Jazz confronts him and admits she knew about his ghost powers he says "You knew?" So??? Softly???? Like PLEASE listen to that line especially after hearing how he usually talks oh my GOSH??!?!!?!?!?! AUGH. slamming my hands on the floor I could make a whole separate thing just thinking of that interaction alone. God. He never knew she knew, it took him by genuine surprise for a moment. And just????? Augh??!???!?!!?!?! He had one family member always in his corner and secretly looking out for him, she believed in him and knew he was trying to do good and she had been waiting for him to reveal it to her in his own time but that time never came because she'd died and haiabsjahasguaaaai u ghjjfhdhfjshauhghhhhh
When Danny enters the future Valerie immediately thinks he Dan, she doesn't question it in the slightest, or question him saying "I have really bad feeling im the one responsible". Before attacking she says "You can't fool me this time Phantom". I take this as either meaning Dan has disguised himself as a young Phantom before, or Valerie is so used to his tricks and and finding new powers that him suddenly looking younger doesn't phase her in the slightest. I do like the idea him disguising as a young Phantom before more. It seems very probable considering he can be Danny Fenton. But this interaction also makes me wonder if Valerie knows, or ever learned that Fenton is Phantom, the trick from before easily could've been Fenton. "The explosion at the Nasty Burger, you, Tucker, Danny's family- and it was all your fault!" She's points her blaster at Phantom while saying that last bit. It makes me wonder if her saying "Danny's family" is showing how she doesn't know he's Danny. There's still other options like her knowing but not admitting he's Fenton, or her knowing he was Danny once but isn't anymore, hence saying "Danny's family" instead of something like "his family". Honestly, her knowing or not are both equally likely. As I said in my tags before, Dan seems to like to get a rise out of people, to get a reaction, he very easily could've told her in an attempt to anger or devastate her, and at the same time he simply could've not bothered at all. I think I prefer the option of her not knowing personally
I don't think I could describe Dan more concisely than I did before, he likes to get a rise out of people, revel in reactions. He twists the past to credit himself for the Nasty Burger explosion after he more than likely blamed himself for it as Danny. He likes to seem in control. He's dramatic. He hates being insulted. Hates losing. He's very casual about alot of things he does.
He caused destruction in both the human and ghost world, the first thing he did upon entering Amity was completely destroy the ghost portal, with plans to destroy Vlad's. I'm not sure what his plan in the end was, but after destroying both portals, I must point out that Dan has the power to summon his own ghost portal with ease, a power I believe is quite rare, I think other than Dan only Wulf has it, though do feel free to correct me on that. So he would've been one of the only people who could go in or out
He was actively trying to/did ruin the lives of the ghosts he knew
Powers. Ohhh boy powers. When I started my DP rewatch my initial plan was to actually take note of every power Danny uses to know what he can do, and by extension Dan. I didn't. Oopsies. So most I can focus on here are what Dan shows in the episode, other than the obvious
I do like thinking on ice powers, and what that means with Dan, obviously he's never shown to know them as they're not introduced until season 3, the writers themselves didn't know it'd happen lol. But in universe, that's something to chew on, Dan never met Frostbite, so if he ever unlocked this power he would've had to figure out the problem and train it on his own, and then there's the potential that Dan never learned, and the ability for ice powers eluded him due to fusion. The ghost sense is a result of his ice powers after all, and Dan's ghost sense isn't a breath of cold blue air, so that could be a sign of this power being one he doesn't have
But moving onto more straightforward powers
Dan destroyed Amity Park in a very short amount of time, all on his own, as while the Fright Knight had been there after the shield went down, he's simply never seen again after that, makes me think Dan just ordered Fright Knight to chase Valerie to Fentonworks and leave after
Related to Amity Park, while there are other destroyed buildings around, the land surrounding the ghost portal is a completely barren wasteland, no doubt from Dan's attempts at destroying the forcefield over the years, and simply scaring residents.
One could argue Dan was the reason lighting was striking around the forcefield, weather manipulation I wouldn't doubt is in his wheelhouse, especially since he's shown to have electrocution powers, at least it looks that way to me
Dan has fire powers, at least immunity to fire. Fire rises after he enters the lab through the cracks he put in the floor, and when he's thrown into truck it bursts into flame. Both instances of the fire happening I suppose you call coincidence, but his immunity to fire at least is undeniable
Dan can force Danny to detransform, and shorted out Danny's powers while holding onto him. This is also the moment where it seems like mild electrocution
Dan can suspend people in ectoplasm, Sam and Tucker also seem frozen completely for a scene, and in a later scene move their heads n such around
He can use a time medallion to enter the exact time and place he needs/where Sam and Tucker went
He specifically used the word fused to describe putting the amulet in Danny, which I find interesting. Entering something while intangible seems to be what causes fusion. Though more to it than that since ghosts can possess other ghosts (or was that a special case since the only example I know is Poindexter possessing a still half ghost Danny🤔)
Dan can form ropes of ectoplasm that can wrap around and trap people, as well as using ecto energy to cover people's mouths to stop talking
Dan is very resilient, I mean, he literally flys through a light pole non-intagabily and doesn't even react. He, while injured from it, did pretty much tank 1 ghostly wail, and still got up after the second, but was weak enough after to be sucked into the thermos
Dan seems to have minor technology powers, nothing major, but like, he does make himself appear on Valerie's watch so he can tell her about the ghostly wail
The ghostly wail of course, which is naturally much stronger than Danny's version. Can destroy nearly all glass in future Amity Park, destroys all the ghost shield towers one by one in a line, makes the Fentonworks building fall down when directly hit. Flips tanks and makes helicopters lose control. Destroyed Ember's vocal cords somehow
He can duplicate himself very easily, and become one again with the same ease. He turns into to a gas form to dodge Valerie's grenades
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I don't have the time to focus on his behavior in AGiT rn, but it lines up with my thoughts. I do like the confirmation that Dan wanted Danny to suffer as he had/didn't think it fair for Danny to get a second chance to save his family. And it deeply trapped by his own emotions and just unwilling to admit it. I can still skim the book to think about powers. I put AGiT powers in this own little section to be skipped if you don't want spoilers
-He 100% has fire powers no doubt about it now
-I should've described his ability to suspend people in ectoplasm as telekinesis
-Can make shields, usually briefly and by swiping his arm
-When Dan emerges from the rubble, he briefly turns it into lava, and then water, I cannot be sure if this is because of having Clockwork's powers, or just his own at work
-His powers seem to turn blue rather than green, but its hard to tell for certain. But we do know his fire is blue so it's not completely out
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In conclusion I'm very normal about him and have watched TUE a reasonable amount of times thank you amd goodnight <3 (lying voice)
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matchup trade for @hannibalhhusband !
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON MATCHUP
SFW HEAD CANONS —
My choice of Daemon Targaryan should be absolutely no surprise to you. We have done lots and lots of matchups concerning the world of House of the Dragon and even after all this time, my heart is still firm on the Rogue Prince as your lover. The two of you are Westeros’s power couple and the fates halves of Otto Hightower’s worst nightmare.
Whenever the mistaken form of any common phrase or slang words escapes your lips, Daemon would make a quick mental check at the back of his head to tease you to your ends about this slight mistake in private. While with other people, the Rogue Prince wouldn’t mind making them look inferior in front of others, he refuses to put you at a lower level then you are currently at (his forever equal) and would cut anyone who dares to venture to say anything towards his love that might hurt you soul or body.
Normally, Daemon is the one who allows his anger to escape (this man wears his anger on his sleeve, but his love and joy for others deep in his heart) and you, being the far calmer one, can get him to relax and prevent him from doing anything that could harm him or anyone else in mere seconds. It usually just requires you to look dissatisfied with his tactics or a simple ‘no’ (if the situation has already escalated, a soft whisper, for only him to hear, that tells him to calm down alongside other advice may be needed.) It still baffles the Royal Court how you always manage to get Daemon Targaryen, the Rogue Prince and the constant doer of Sins, to not lash out on others when he has done so frequently before. But sometimes when your emotions and anger are far too bottled up and released because not even the best of people can truly remain composed at all times, even your beloved Prince can not calm you down.
One of his main love languages is physical touch. Wherever he would walk down the halls and come across you, he would acknowledge you with a nod in front of everyone and walk towards his original destination, but first he would make sure to brush his arm across you in a way that no one else seems to notice (or at least in his delusionals because it seemed the whole court secretly knew of this scandalous affair). Oh, how he yearns for your touch. Whenever you are at back Dorne, he doesn’t want to do anything else, but to fly to you on Caraxes and let himself fall into your hugs. Fuck the crown, all he wants would be if you allow him to simply hold on to you as you run your fingers through his hair, whispering his name like a prayer.
He would love to take you riding on Dragon back. It is such a cute sight for him when you first saw a dragon, that is before you claimed your own. Hazel eyes were wide open and a small laugh betrayed you. A part of you was scared though and held tightly on Daemon’s sleeve for a split second until you realised your actions and let go of him immediately, a soft pink sprinkled on your cheek. The Targaryen prince simply smirked at his Martell ‘friend’ and took you to Caraxes. During the entirety of the flight, you sat behind Daemon, hands clutching tightly around his waist and your nose buried in his back when Caraxes began flapping his wings. Never had Daemon found you so adorable before until now and this smug idiot began commanding his Blood Wyrm to go faster.
He spoils you almost all the time. It is not his fault that almost everything he comes across reminds him of you in one way or another. He would buy you those strange books you seem to love (why you would care so much for history is still confusing to him) If you ever mention a type of flower you like, the next day he would buy a garden of those specific flowers. He would commission gothic and ouji clothes that bear both the Martell sigil and the three headed red dragon of his own to be made by the best tailors.
I was listing to the song ‘Genius’ by Sia and it just reminded of you and Daemon
NFSW HEADCANONS —
This man is rough (Unless his beloved pleads and begs him to slow down, then he might reconsider his current speed.) Daemon is a person who pents up his anger within his heart as we had discussed earlier. Usually it requires not much to evaporate the growing anger in his heart, but sometimes he would put that anger towards you during sex. He will leave crimson patterns all over your skin and tug on your hair, his slender fingers tangling in a mess of black locks.
He is obsessed with the idea of getting caught — it is so thrilling! Sex is supposed to be fun and with the idea of getting caught hanging over the edge, makes it far more exciting. Sometimes it would be in semi private places such as in an unlocked closed room during a party or a closet. But sometimes it is outright crazy such as fucking agaisnt a bookshelf in the library or bending you over on the Small Council meeting after everyone leaves, whispering his complaints about his brother in your ears.
He loves getting you riled up. Stroking his finger against the skin of your thigh, biting your ear when no one is looking, kissing you roughly and randomly pulling away and walking away as if nothing happened. You name it. He wants, no scratch, he needs to watch you beg for him, tugging on his hair as he sits down while holding on to your waist.
He is not a big fan of eye contact. During sex, he is incredibly vulnerable and despite how close you are to him and how near he holds you in his heart, he still refuses to show it. He can wear a mask of different emotions easily, even during his time of pleasure, but his eyes are a window to his soul. This is one of the many reasons his favourite sex position is doggy style (and the fact your ass looks cute from the back in his opinion)
He isn’t the King of Aftercare, sadly. Sex with him is great, but he isn’t the best at comforting and helping you better. At most, he just holds you close to his chest, his nose buried in your hair as he draws constellation patterns on your naked skin. To be honest, he would prefer to be held instead as you run your fingers through his hair and whisper how good he was.
MARRIED LIFE —
The two of you would definitely live in Dragonstone. It is his only home where he feels like he is in control because he knows in King’s Landing, his brother will try to somehow send him away to anywhere or everyone will always remind him how his throne was stolen from him and given to his niece. He is definitely the type of person to wake up early, so he would just hold you and watch you sleep. You always look so stressed out because of something, but when you are asleep, you look so peaceful - a look he rarely sees on your face. Three years of your time together was robbed because of the war that he had to attend. He later returns with a crown, calling himself King of the Narrow Sea. He would definitely take you on Caraxes back all the time. He knows you have your own dragon, but he loves how you hold on to him from the back. He isn’t the most domestic, but he is absolutely proud of his husband. He waited so many years for the death of his Northern Bitch (his first wife) just so he could marry you.
DATES —
The Rogue Prince is a busy individual, but for his love, he is willing to drop all his work to spend time with you. Dates only existed before Ian’s birth, after that there were too many kids to look after. He doesn’t mind what you want to do as long as you are the one who is the happier one of the duo. He will buy all your favourite things to see you laugh and take you to see plays and enjoy festives. Daemon would sometimes ask his servant and cooks to prepare him a picnic. The two of you would go a place with beautiful scenery in dragon back, eat the best food and later enjoy the stars (though he is busy looking at you instead of the stars)
CHILDREN — THE UNOFFICIAL TEAM RED MEMBERS (plus you and Daemon)
JAXTON TARGARYAN is the eldest son and first child of Jaecrrell Martell and Daemon Targaryen — a year older than Aegon Targaryen. He was born during the marriage of Daemon Targaryen and Allara Stark when Daemon was hiding an affair. So he really should be called Jaxton Waters since he is, by law, a bastard, but no one ever dares to say that in front of him unless they wish to be blown apart by his dragon, Vermithor, or one of the many guns he makes in his free time. He absolutely loathes wearing any fancy clothes, rather preferring leather jackets that are far more comfortable according to him. He is pretty and he knows it! (Though his heart is only reserved for one which I will get on in the relationship area). Like most of his brothers, he is closer to Daemon then he is with Jaecrrel and is like Daemon in many ways — for starters he is a wanted criminal because he simply doesn’t care if he puts a bullet through one’s head. He is the life of the party and often goes out drinking with his friends. He is a good dancer and singer, though he would rather die than get caught. He likes most people except one, who he loathes with all his heart for absolutely no reason (if you have a reason, you can absolutely add!) — his ‘beloved’ half-sister Aenneth Targaryen who is the result of Daemon’s first marriage with a Stark and Aegon’s Queen. He later passed this hatred and told his younger siblings (especially Lucian, Nikolai and Veritas) horrible things about Aenneth and they also grew a similar hate towards her.
ARGENTI TARGERYAN is the second child of Jaecrrel and Daemon. He isn’t part of the Kingsguard, but he is still a knight ( a really good one at that!) He is elegant and loyal to almost everyone he loves. He is absolutely gorgeous to go along with his beautiful personality and is always wearing his armour (his armour is made out of Valyrian steel and lined with beautiful jewels). He takes lots of time doing his skin and hair to look this pretty though. While he loves all his siblings and messes with them for fun, he is the closest with his older brother, Jaxton, who is 2 years older than him (A year older then Helaena). Argenti was always seen clinging onto his older brother as a child. He has a really pretty voice and is always complimenting others. This is a big bonus for him because he is a poet and his words literally have people swooning! He is a curious soul who is always asking questions to know more and more things. He is also extremely friendly and one of the sanest brothers in his siblings and has a healthy relationship with almost everyone. While he enjoys sword fighting, he also loves roses, romance, chocolate covered strawberries (Aenneth and him are bonding over this Fr), writings, instruments and dancing! Similar to his older brother, he tries to learn many languages and is a quick learner. His dragon is a black one that people rumour is the only egg that comes somehow from Cannibal.
NEUVILLETTE TARGARYAN is the 3rd child of our couple here! He isn’t really a human, but rather a dragon god who is in the form of a human. He has been living for a long time, but every time he dies, he gets reincarnated into a new life (such a creative idea by the way). No one seems to mind that fact in his family, but rather tell him that he will be treated like all his siblings no matter what. While he appears aloof, he is actually so polite and sweet towards others — a true chivalrous gentleman. Sadly, not many people know that because of his difficulty in showing human emotions and his desire to stay indoors more than going out. Despite not being the oldest, he is a father - figure to all of his siblings, even his older ones who always turn to him when they don’t know what to do. Neuvillette is a reliable and honest person, so he always gives his true opinion to them. He is really respectful of everyone around him. His family is an absolute priority. They matter the world to him. Like I previously stated, he is so sweet and honest and wants to know everything about his friends and other humans. Literally a walking green flag! He is extremely patient with anyone and it’s really hard to get him to hate you. He upholds Jaecrrel’s court at times and brings Justice to the world in the name of the King, his father. He managed to claim Grey Ghost and enjoys riding his dragon more than anything. While he doesn’t enjoy training, he isn’t that bad at self-defence. He just prefers watching other people train while he sits at home and has little tea parties or is in the library doing god knows what (usually studying, cooking or reading ) . He refuses to commit in a relationship because he is immortal and he does not want a heavy burden in his heart when he lives a new life. He is the same age as Helaena.
IAN TARGARYAN is the 4th sibling, a year younger than Neuvillette. Out of all his siblings, he is by far the gentlest soul. He is often called lazy because of his constant tiredness. Like most of his siblings, he is extremely intelligent. He is the person who always looks out for everyone, almost like a peacemaker. The whole Dance frustrates him because everyone overlooks him and coddles him too much when he wants to help achieve peace in a political way. He is good with younger kids and has always imagined having a family of his own. He is a Commander for Jaecrrel’s army and later leads them into multiple victories before dying during the Battle of God’s Eye while he was helping Daemon kill Aemond. His dragon is the mate of his eldest brother’s dragon — a she-dragon known as Silverwing who also died with him. A part of him is scared of war and combat, but he refuses to show it so everyone assumes everything is ok. While his siblings are trouble makers, Ian barely gets into any trouble by his parents and other adults, but is usually the one who helps his siblings out of it and scolds them later. He is sensitive to loud sounds and often gets annoyed. He loves animals and insects, going as far as to having a pet bird that would sometimes settle on his head. He even got a pet Lion on his birthday, a gift from his father (Jaecrrel). A big animal lover! He usually doesn’t stay inside and prefers the outdoors.
LUCIAN TARGARYAN is the 5th child of Jaecrrel and Daemon (Probably the same age as Jace) He is one of the few siblings who lean towards the calmer and more timid side. He was far more outgoing as a child, but as he grew older, he drastically changed. He is logical and rational whenever it is needed at the Council table. He has a park in him that constantly desires for any sort of control of power. He learns and manipulates this control by learning how to sword fight so he can manipulate battles in his favour alongside his dragon who isn’t big in size, but incredibly quick. He was able to get the sword that once belonged to the Bloodstone Emperor in the time of the Empire of the Dawn. He absolutely loathes Team Green with all his heart and helped his father with the murder of his half-sister first son. Though for him, I believe he doesn’t want Rhaenyra OR Aegon on the throne. He believes the throne should have passed to Daemon and his children. He can easily heal himself. Like Jaxton, he is a criminal in the eyes of many kingdoms… oops? He is a very observant type of person. His solution to most problems is pulling out his sword to kill or fight or to just scare the person off. Major psycho vibes from him… He doesn’t shy away from arguments or problems, but faces them head on with a smile. He managed to claim Cannibal as his own. He enjoys lonely walks and tea/coffee. He is easily Daemon’s favourite child (Daemon never said it out loud, but it’s pretty obvious)
NIKOLAI TARGERYAN is the 6th child and the older twin, a year after Lucian’s birth! If you believed that Lucian was psychopathic, Nikolai is far worse. He is stubborn and narcissistic, his heart pouting with acidic hatred. People go as far as calling him ‘The Coming of Maegor’. He acts only on impulse, enger thinking properly before doing anything major. No one likes being with him much because of how quickly he commences violently which causes people to panic. Somehow he is still alive after all his thrill-seeking risks. He was a sweet guy at one point tho! Similar to Aemond, he didn’t have a dragon or even the normal Targaryen looks so his cousins would bully him, especially Aegon (If Nikolai went up to Aenneth and told her everything, she would have stopped because she may not like Daemon, but those are her siblings no matter what. Alas, Nikolai was too scared of her because of the horrible stories Jaxton made up about her). He, like most of his brothers, looked up to Jaxton and Nikolai even had a similar gun like his. He takes his anger out on other people a lot. He loves making jokes all the time, whether they are sexual, dark, sarcastic or even make people uncomfortable. He is one of Team Green’s biggest threats and they believe it was him who caused the death of Jaehaerys. Aegon sent Aemond to go and burn down Nikolai, hopefully killing him in the process. But Nikolai was Aemond’s closest form as a child so he made sure to not kill him, but to only injure him. He now has horrible burns on his body. He is a master at card and boards games, anything that involves using your mind in a strategic manner. He reads sometimes, but only erotic novels.
CAINE TARGARYAN is Nikolai’s younger twin and the 7th sibling. He is one of the few siblings who lean on the sane side. He is calm and manipulative, only when he needs to though. He is aware of his strengths and weaknesses. He is a quiet soul, but not necessarily shy. If he needs to face a situation, he can easily do so with a calm facade. He is extremely apathetic, the death of his close ones not affecting him at all. While Nikolai murders for him, Caine is only willing to get his hands dirty if it results in his benefit or one of his family. He is able to see through anyone’s demeanour and recognize their true emotions and potential. This is why he refuses to participate in the war on either side because he already had a hypothetical guess for its ending. He is able to share the most disturbing news with either a straight face or a sweet smile. [Guess who just died! :) !] He is always hiding in plain sight and scheming with his own plans, acting alone instead of with Team Black. Unknown to most, he is actually very mischievous and plays pranks on many people all the time, they just never know it’s him because of how quickly he disappears from their sight. He is always away from the crowd and hiding somewhere. It is a habit he developed as a kid. Whenever there was a storm, he would hide under his bed because he felt safe there. He doesn’t fight much of offence, but he is really good at self-defence.
VERITAS TARGARYAN is the youngest child of Jaecrrel Martell and Daemon Targeyan. He fits in the mature and calm category alongside some of his other brothers. He is one of the siblings who keeps them all out of trouble, but he later scolds them for their stupid behaviour. While almost all his siblings are intelligent, none of them really use fancy big words aside from Veritas who tries to model himself after Jaecrrel. While his other brothers prefer the company of Daemon, Veritas prefers his other father. He always tries to learn new things and was often found sleeping in the library and surrounded by a pile of books as a kid. Because of his intelligence, he looks down on people who are ‘fools and idiots’ — their mere company is dreadful to him. He knows a lot about medical issues, crime, law, history etc. and is a master at puzzle and problem solving. When people first lay their eyes upon Veritas, he has this mysterious vibe around him ( it is calming and creepy). He is extremely sarcastic and sassy and a winner of almost every argument he has. He has either a resting bitch face or an annoyed facade. He refuses to sword fight because he doesn’t like getting dirty, he is a gentleman afterall. He doesn't like his family asides his fathers. His brother’s mock him for everything he does, Aemond is too cocky, Aegon is a drunken fool, Heleana is weird, Aenneth is not his ‘true’ family, Viserys is too weak to rule and where is Daeron even?
AGES DURING THE DANCE: TEAM RED
Jaxton (22)
Argenti (20)
Neuvillette (19)
Ian (18)
Lucian (16)
Nikolai (15)
Caine (15)
Veritas (14)
Jaecrrel (41)
Daemon (48)
PARENTING —
Daemon: Daemon is not the best dad, but he does try. He has a tendency of favouring specific kids because of small little things, but it is a habit he tries to get over. His family is his top priority. He would train the boys to train and defend themselves. A part of him wants to hold a little girl of his own in his arms, but as we know, they never happened. Mayhaps in another life where the dance doesn't happen. He would go absolutely ballistic if he sees one of his kids hurt and would be willing to burn down a whole House or village out of anger. He takes the kids out with him a lot, especially on his dragons when they were kids since most of the kids ( aside Argernti, Caine and Veritas) the rest of them were n't born with dragons and didn’t claim them until later in life. Even the kids that were born with dragons couldn’t fully ride it until the magnificent beasts are older.
Jaecrrel: I feel like you would be a really good dad! You are the dad - friend after all. You assure your kid’s safety above everything, fussing over the smallest of things. Since Daemon is pretty chill with the kids, it is your job to discipline them. They learn most of their studies, languages and hobbies from you actually! You are fully aware that most of the boys prefer Daemon, but that doesn’t diminish your love for them.
VACATIONS —
Vacations are so chaotic! With so many trouble makers on board, something almost always goes wrong. Worst case scenario: someone dies. Best case scenario: someone breaks a bone. Umm not exactly the most fitting? Vacations usually happen in Essos since most of the kids don’t like Westeros since they are continuously reminding throughout that continent that Viserys is the King and how important he is. Every time the family goes out, they almost get bankrupt because of how many things everyone keeps on buying!
RELATIONSHIPS —
Jaxton is best friend’s with Aegon. The two of them go out drinking a lot and are similar in age. Their friendship slowly started drifting apart once Jaxton learned that Aegon was a bully to Nikolai and with his disgusting half-sister. His main enemy is Aenneth (no surprise!) He doesn’t consider her proper family because they weren’t fully related and she lives with those ‘disgusting’ Hightowers. His lover is Alys Rivers.
Argenti is best friends with Jacerys. They grew up as childhood friends and are the responsible ones in their family that try to settle this stupid war. His enemy is most likely Aemond. He hates how cocky and intense he is, it frustrates him a lot. And anyone Jace doesn’t like, Argenti doesn’t like. His lovers are both Cregan Stark and Jacerys. This relationship happens in a good ending where nobody dies after the Dance,
Neuvillette is best friends with Ian. It isn’t uncommon for a person to look toward a sibling who is close in age as their best friend. Ian was the one who always understood him the most. His enemy is Aegon. It is a one sided hate. Aegon simply hates most of the boys, but he hates how special Neuvillette is and always says that he is trying too hard to be likeable. It is a hatred mainly rooted from jealousy.
Ian is best friends with Neuvillette! I already explained a bit at the top, but Ian never had many people his age growing up so they always stuck by one another. His enemy is Jacerys. It isn’t really an enemy situation, but more of trying to be the better one because of how similar they are so they clash with one another. His lover is sweet Helaena. They would be the sweetest couple to exist that doesn’t deserve any sort of pain at all.
Lucian is best friends with no one. Everyone is a waste of breath in his eyes, sadly. He is, however, enemies with almost everyone except his family. He doesn’t care for team black or green. His lover would probably be Baela. She matches his fire and fierce nature, but can easily calm him down.
Nikolai is best friends with Aemond. They used to be best friends as kids before Aemond claimed Vhagar and became obsessed with Valyrian purity. His current best friend is Caine. His enemy is Aegon. Aegon was one of his biggest bullies as a child and one of the reasons he turned out like that. Congrats Aegon for being the main enemy of not one, but three members on Team Red.
Caine is best friends with Nikolai. There is no bond stronger than the one between twins who share half of the same soul. His enemy is Aegon as well. He didn’t care much for this war, but when Nikolai was hurt and nearly killed under the commands of Aegon, Caine loathed that man. I feel like he isn’t in a relationship because of how detached he is.
Veritas is best friends with Lucerys. He was absolutely devastated at the death of his childhood friend who grew up with him in Dragonstone. Plus, Lucerys was the only one, aside from his lover, who respected him besides his parents. His enemy is Viserys. He hates this war and in his opinion, it all happened because Viserys was a weak ruler. His lover is Rhaena. They would be another cute couple that doesn't deserve any of their pain. He sort of married her out of pity and respect since she lost Luce, her fiancé. Don’t worry, feelings were later developed.
Jaecrrel is best friends with Rhaenyra. They were friends and when Rhaenyra’s throne was taken, Jaecrrel came to help her. Her eldest son’s name is also inspired by him. His enemy is Alicent. Jaecrrel never was that close to her in their childhood and once he learned that she tried to usurp Rhaenyra? Game over. His lover is Daemon. I don’t think I need to explain this!
NETTLES —
Most of the boys hate Nettles so much. Daemon comes with a new girl shortly after your death and they are supposed to just accept it (a girl who is the same age as Veritas too)? Most of them try to keep their distance away from her and only Caine, Veritas, Argenti and Neuvillette show some respect to her and are friendly with her. It isn’t fully her fault that Daemon chose her, right? Team Red is extremely family oriented. Anyone who isn’t family is an enemy (even their half-sister. Their requirements are that they must be all fully related). So when Nettles and, she disrupted that chain and they think that Jaecrrel is being replaced by someone of such… modest beginnings as Gwayne once said. Most of the siblings (aside the 4 earlier mentioned) are lowkey planning her murder. Nikolai and Ian couldn’t give a single fuck about her. It is actually Jaxton and Lucian who hate her so much.
#sazh moonboards#sazh matchups#matchups#Hotd#house of the dragon#nettles#fire and blood#hotd matchup#daemon targaryen#daemon targeryan#hotd daemon#targaryen#caraxes#hotd oc#fyeahhotdocs#hope you liked it! The nfsw lowkey sucks and is too short but I tried to make it up with the sfw
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Merthur Fics
This is just a list of all the Merlin/Arthur fics I like on AO3, if you have any recs for me feel free to send me some!
Updated 6/15/24
If I was a Wizard (I'd mess up all my spells) by reallyneedsalife
~Magic is now legal in Camelot, a change which is widely embraced. But while there is happiness in the change, there is also hatred.
While on a simple hunting trip, Merlin and the knights run into trouble. Trouble that leads one of their own to die to the blade of another.
Well, kind of- anyway.~
Did You Know? by TheAsexualofSpades
~Merlin is…confused.
He’s doing his job as a servant—not that he’s begrudging his position that much, destiny is destiny, after all—and putting up with all the things that servants are supposed to put up with.~
If You Die, I'll Kill You by mamie_pink
~Arthur has the foolhardy idea while taking the knights and Merlin on a hunting trip to pass through the Valley of the Fallen Kings. He doesn't heed Merlin's cautions and needless to say things do not go well for them.~
Emrys the Really, Truly Terrible by lindenwaverly
~In which magic is legal and Merlin is still lying for reasons that are absolutely, totally 100% valid and have nothing to do with his love for Arthur~
Maybe the Hoard is the Friends we Made Along the Way by charcharizard5
~After Balinor dies Merlin inherits his Dragonlord abilities. Though no one informed him he would be inheriting dragon traits as well. It shouldn't be too hard to hide. Until his hoarding tendencies surface.~
Worst Fear by simple_shrimp
~A curse placed on Camelot reveals everyone's worst fear. ~
Don't You See? by TheAsexualofSpades
~It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, Merlin thinks, not like this at all.Granted, he hadn’t exactly been super picky about how his magic got revealed in the first place, seeing as he’d come to terms with the fact that it would just be his secret until he died.But this…this was far from ideal.
The Technicalities of Family by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
~While traveling from Ealdor, Merlin runs into some knights of another kingdom. Upon finding Ygraine’s sigil, he is assumed to be part of the royal family.Merlin isn’t sure what’s going on.~
Nobody's Fool by foxy_mulder
~Duke Ben-something-or-other clears his throat and looks Merlin up and down. “Apologies, my lord, I have not introduced myself. I am Duke Benedict Earl James the Fourteenth." He stands and bows.“And I’m Merlin.” Merlin scratches his armpit.Arthur rolls his eyes. “He means your title, idiot.”“Oh. I’m the Court Jester.”~
Change in Crowns by derekstilinski
~Arthur has traveled to sign a treaty of friendship with other kingdoms, when he realizes they've intended to set him up to marry as well. He doesn't want to marry for the sake of marrying, so he pulls a clumsy, crowned Merlin in with false talk that they married quietly.~
Thick as Sorcerers by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
~Merlin hates Mordred and Mordred is determined to put an end to that. Arthur is convinced that this child is after his man.~
Complement (Two Halves of a Whole) by greymantledlady
~Merlin dashes fiercely at the tears that have started to trickle down his face, and waits. Because if Arthur wants to take him back to Camelot as a prisoner, to a cold cell and death in the grey morning – if that is what Arthur wants, Merlin will let him, because he can’t deny Arthur anything.~
Fool Me Once by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
~Uther finds out about Merlin’s magic, but can’t seem to kill him. Merlin is just trying to protect Arthur. They become a begrudgingly effective duo. Arthur doesn't understand why they think he isn't noticing this.~
Damsel in a Phone Booth by Blackwidina
~“it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au~
A Warlock's Worth by ella_bane
~When a visiting prince sets his sights on Merlin, Arthur is not amused.~
No Harm Will Come to You Here by fancyh
~Merlin gets hit with a spell meant for Arthur and loses his memory. Revelations ensue. Set sometime after 5x02.~
Have you Heard by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
~The knights keep hearing various (dramatic) rumors about the great and mighty Emrys. Everyone is such a gossip. Merlin is trying not to have a heart attack. Lancelot is loving life.~
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This isn't so much an ask but a full on praise machine of emotions.
Every time you guys post a new chapter, I rush to the fanfic to read the new update. I am a huge sucker for character development and family dynamics of all kinds. This amazing fanfic makes me so incredibly happy that I just squeal in joy; especially with all of the teasing threads that the two of you are threading.
Leon has always been my favorite (I mean...I didn't exactly keep that a secret HAHAHA ) but I love how you've constructed your Leon(One) in this fanfic.
Puts up such a strong front but truly has a fragile center...even though he loves his brother; he can't help but feel the need to compete with him.
Every time One and Two bicker, I keep on thinking: "These two are my besties but worsties; they're two halves of a whole idiot and I love them so much!"
<3
Please keep doing what you and your sister are doing; I love you both so much and I love this fanfic do much!!
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH AWWW
Yes, family dynamics are so fun. One of my favorite things about this au is how similar yet so very different One and Two are to canon Leo and Donnie (they need a serious talk with Dr. Feelings I stg). Also love figuring out their dynamics and stuff <3
This was a joy to read. It made me so happy. I'm so glad you're enjoying our little story! I've noticed all of your comments and tags on our posts/the fic and we both really appreciate your support!! (same to everyone who's read, shared, interacted with EMD).
We're so close to the halfway point I'm so excited
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Grifting their teammates together. Truly two halves of a whole idiot and I love them.
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And than you have Chuuya who got stuck in a mystery novel, where you need to solve the mystery to escape.
And proceeded to just start killing everyone.
They truly are two halves of a whole idiot.
this is the dumbass skk representation we needed. they might be able to outsmart literal geniuses and defeat entire organizations but confronted with one (1) unconscious person all they can come up with is idk maybe wack them around a little bit???????
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it was snowing the whole day today so i was so excited i could barely sit through my lectures before a friend grabbed me and we walked through the snowy forest for hours, burning tongues on corner store coffee and gossiping until it grew dark and the dampness seeped into our coats.
what a good day.
#i'm so happy i met him we truly are two halves of a whole idiot#antons#personal#words#also got the essay topics for two classes so i could possibly start working on that#lmao as if
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In which Tommy has a nightmare, and enderwalk!Ranboo is of the opinion that grass blocks make everything better.
(word count: 1,413)
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Tommy jolts out of a nightmare that he doesn’t want to remember, and a few seconds later, finds himself hyperventilating outside on the grass.
It’s not on, is what it is. He hardly asked for this, for these awful dreams and this inability to sleep for more than a few hours at a time at best, for this creeping certainty that Dream is breaking out, is going to come for him, and that it’s only a matter of time before something awful happens. He didn’t ask for any of this, but he has it, and he’s not moving out of his house, because that would feel like a concession, but on nights like these he wakes up and the dirt walls press in around him and he can’t breathe, and it is completely and utterly the worst.
So. Outside. Grass. Hyperventilating.
Calming himself down is old hat, by now. He figured out how to do it a long time ago, around the time when he realized that there wasn’t going to be anyone holding his hand anymore, that he was well and truly on his own, without a friend in the world. Other than—but no, he doesn’t go there. He knows better, now, even though his brain still tries to play tricks on him sometimes, tries to convince him that Dream is the only one who actually has his best interests at heart.
The point is, he knows how to do this. He’s used to it. And frankly, he’s glad that he is, glad that he can do this on his own, because he doesn’t want anyone else around him when he’s like this. Doesn’t want anyone else to see, doesn’t want anyone else to know that this happens, doesn’t want anyone else to be able to point at him and go, look, the great TommyInnit brought low.
So when he regulates his breaths and swipes the tears from his face and unclenches his fingers knuckle by knuckle, he looks up and most definitely does not expect anyone to be crouched in front of him. When he sees that there is, he scrabbles backward and lets out an incredibly manly scream, and he doesn’t think he can be blamed for it, because what the fuck?
“Holy shit,” he wheezes, “holy shit, you can’t just—” And has to stop, because it’s not just any weird crouching person. It’s his fucking—what’s the word for when a very irritating and terrible person marries your best friend? What’s the title for that? Annoyance-in-law?
In any case, it’s Ranboo.
“What,” he says, “the shit are you doing?”
Ranboo makes a sound that is not words at all. In fact, it sounds very similar to an enderman vwoop, which, alright, the guy’s half enderman, that checks out. Except, his eyes are also purple, and he looks rather taller than he normally does, even crouching down, so something is weird here. Something is very, very weird.
“Fuck off,” he says. “Go and, go and raise your shitty child or something. Sing ‘im a lullaby. Go on.”
He makes shooing noises with his hands, like one might do to a dog, or a persistent crow. Ranboo tilts his head very slowly, like a complete fucking weirdo, and then rises in one fluid motion, and goes walking off somewhere. Tommy stares after him, because he hadn’t really expected that to work. But alright, he’ll take it.
“That’s right,” he mutters. “Just fucking, fucking leave, go on.” He stares down at the grass, running a shaking hand through his hair. He is, maybe, not quite as recovered as he’d like. He’s usually not, after the initial panic, usually can’t make himself relax until the sun has crested the horizon and the sky has begun to lighten. He’s ruined for sleep tonight, that’s for sure.
But it’s alright. It’s alright, he’s used to it. He can do it. He can do this. He’s a big fucking man, and he can survive on a few hours of sleep a night, and he can avoid looking at himself in the mirror and remembering another face, eyebags just as dark, hair just as wild, eyes only slightly more desperate. He doesn’t have to remember things. Not if he doesn’t want to. He’s great at not remembering things, him.
Footsteps. He jerks, looks up again, and Ranboo is standing over him, and why is he so fucking tall?
Ranboo makes another vwooping sound. And then a little trill, almost like a bird, if a bird gargled gravel and then turned into an eldritch monstrosity. He crouches again, and then holds out his hands, and there is something in them, something that he is offering him, and—
Tommy squints. It’s a grass block.
“What am I supposed to do with that?” he asks.
Ranboo vwoops.
“Could you just stop being so fucking weird?” he demands. “For five minutes? I don’t think that’s too much to ask, really. God, you’re just. The worst.”
Ranboo shifts a bit closer, still holding out the grass block. Like he wants him to take it.
“I’m not taking your stupid block,” Tommy says, and accepts it.
Ranboo vwoops.
“Why would you even—” he says, burrowing his fingers into the dirt. A bit of it crumbles to the ground. He doesn’t understand how endermen manage to do this, keep these blocks in perfect shape, grass and all. “Why would you even give me this? What are you trying to pull on me, eh? It won’t work. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes, pal. You’re up to something. Why are your eyes all purple?”
Ranboo vwoops.
And then—Tommy remembers something. Something he wasn’t particularly trying to remember, and usually, that’s not such a great thing, but it’s not so bad this time. Because this memory is from just a couple of weeks ago, in Snowchester, one of those times that he was trying to hang out with Tubbo, but Ranboo was just there and wouldn’t leave, and Tubbo wouldn’t make him leave, so Tommy spent the entire time being vaguely pissed off. And he was trying not to pay attention to Ranboo, really, he was, except he remembers him saying something about how he gets anxious, and how holding blocks of things and putting them down places helps him. At the time, he made a point of not acknowledging him, because Tommy’s not an idiot. He knew what he was trying to do, and he didn’t appreciate it.
But—
He stares at the block in his hands. And then back at Ranboo.
He wants to be angry, at the idea, at the presumption, because who the fuck does Ranboo think he is, trying to patronize him like this? But Ranboo keeps up his soft warbles, and he finds his eyes filling with tears instead.
“Are you,” he says, and his voice is not choked, it’s not, “are you trying to help me?”
Ranboo vwoops. Chirps. And then reaches out, slowly enough that Tommy doesn’t feel the urge to flinch, and runs gentle clawed fingers through his hair.
“Oh,” Tommy says. And doesn’t lean into the touch. He doesn’t. But if, hypothetically, he does, that’s between him and Prime on high. Or at least, it would be, if all his muscles didn’t go lax a few seconds later, and if he didn’t accidentally on purpose tip forward against Ranboo’s chest.
The dirt slips through his fingers. But that’s alright, because one of Ranboo’s arms wraps around him, and the other keeps carding through his hair, like Wilbur used to do when they were younger and things were better and they were two halves of a whole rather than puzzle pieces that got bent out of shape. The way his head is, he can feel vibrations running though Ranboo’s chest, like the purr of a cat, and it’s going to lull him to sleep if he’s not careful.
He can’t let that happen. He has more dignity than that.
Except he’s very tired. And Ranboo is clearly—sleepwalking, or something. Not all there in the head at the moment. So maybe he won’t remember this in the morning, if Tommy makes sure to wake up first. And that would be alright.
“You’re still terrible,” he mumbles, but the words are slurred, and Ranboo’s arms are very warm and comforting, and he’s drifting. He can feel it.
So he lets himself. Ranboo’s warbles follow him into sleep, and he dreams of stars.
#mcyt#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp fic#tommyinnit#ranboo#enderwalk ranboo#allium duo#/rp#cw swearing#cw panic attack#cw past manipulation#cat writes fic#i should let y'all know that tommy deffo does not wake up first#the conversation the next morning goes something like this:#ranboo: why are we here??? why are you on top of me????#tommy: i'm attacking you#ranboo: ??????#tommy: i'm winning
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