#True Confession

[bcdaily]

I have not yet unpacked my clothes, but the books have made their way out of storage #priorities

[theglitterdome]

Fred MacMurray in True Confession (1937)

[flowerishness]

Saintpaulia (African violet)

Last week I went into a plant shop and, as I walked in the front door, I promised myself that I wouldn’t spend any money. They had a table set up with about forty African violets and as I walked by (lazily scanning the collection) I muttered, “Oh, I like that one.” - and the rest is history.

In my defense, this plant cost about the same as a Big Mac, and if well taken care of, an African violet will live for fifty years. However, that’s just an excuse. We all have our weaknesses and pretty flowers are one of mine. I’m sure that regular visitors to @flowerishness probably figured that out a long time ago.

[fitsofgloom]

"Maybe I am and MAYBE I AM!"

[sweetfreedom2107]

You take the weight of the world right off my shoulders, we're ketchup and fries, files from the same folder. We're two souls linked into one, we fight, we weep, we kiss, we learn. There's not a day I want to wake up without you in my bed, not a single birthday I want to celebrate without you holding the cake. I want you everywhere, for everything, for my whole life, no matter how short or long it is. I love you. I love you. I love you.

[sweethoneyrose83]

The Asylum Confessions

[byneddiedingo]

Carole Lombard and John Barrymore in True Confession (Wesley Ruggles, 1937)

Cast: Carole Lombard, Fred MacMurray, John Barrymore, Una Merkel, Porter Hall, Edgar Kennedy, Lynne Overman, Irving Bacon, Fritz Feld, Hattie McDaniel. Screenplay: Claude Binyon, based on a play by Louis Verneuil and Georges Berr. Cinematography: Ted Tetzlaff. Art direction: Hans Dreier, Robert Usher. Film editing: Paul Weatherwax. Music: Friedrich Hollaender.

A somewhat too frantic screwball comedy, True Confession plays fast and loose not only with the legal profession but also to an extent with the careers of its stars. Fred MacMurray plays Kenneth Bartlett, a lawyer who insists on defending only those he thinks are really innocent, which gives him some trouble when his wife, Helen (Carole Lombard), goes on trial for murder. She's a would-be writer who can't always be trusted to tell the truth, so even though she didn't commit the crime, she winds up saying she did and pleading self-defense. Meanwhile, the trial is being watched by Charley Jasper (John Barrymore), an alcoholic loon who knows who really did the deed. None of these people make much sense, especially Barrymore, who seems at times to be reprising his earlier, far more successful performance as Oscar Jaffe opposite Lombard's Lily Garland (aka Mildred Plotka) in Twentieth Century (Howard Hawks, 1934). Alcohol had taken a serious toll on Barrymore, who was 55 when he made this film; he looks 70. Lombard was better, more controlled in her comic flights in Twentieth Century, too. Here she verges on grating at times. Comparisons are seldom fair, but it has to be said that the difference between the two films has to be that the earlier and better one was directed by Hawks from a screenplay by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, and True Confession was directed by Wesley Ruggles from a screenplay by Claude Binyon based on a French farce. Still, there's some fun to be had here, and the cast includes such stars from the golden age of character actors as Una Merkel being giddy, Porter Hall being irascible, Edgar Kennedy doing multiple face-palms, and Hattie McDaniel playing one of her always watchable (if regrettable) roles as the maid.

[callipraxia]

This. And…I say that as someone whose first sustained piece of writing did, in fact, involve a thinly-veiled self-insert joining the Fellowship of the Ring.

I…sort of want to say “imagine that I took a deep breath and said that with my eyes closed,” but I’m honestly not even ashamed of it, lol. I was…either eleven or twelve, I was obsessed with the film of The Two Towers, and one day in chorus class, when my usual bullies were inexplicably doing something other than playing keep-away with my glasses (a whole other story), I somehow found out that another girl in the class was a) almost as friendless as I was at that age, and b) also really, really liked that movie. We ended up chatting and coming up with the premise that it would be cool if we were plopped into the Riders of Rohan scene for no good reason. Then I (desperate to repeat this novel behavior of “interaction with another student that did not involve violence being directed against my person”), in an unexpectedly fateful moment of confidence, started to write about it that night, so I could show her the results at the next meeting of chorus class. This would go on for over three hundred handwritten pages over the course of the year, ending in something it…suited us, anyway, to call “a novel.”

It was a nonsensical train wreck from start to finish. My friend wanted to marry Legolas. I proceeded to write almost four hundred pages on the subject of our adventures and her eventual marriage to Legolas, eventually mixing in another of my major interests of the time, which was Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time. Each day, my friend would read what I had - over the course of lunchtimes and times at home when I was pretending to do my homework and, often enough, in actual classes - written up to the beginning of each chorus class and would offer feedback and suggestions about what her character and Legolas should do next; as long as Orlando Bloom remained faithful and devoted to her, she didn’t care that I decided on a whim that we were writing in a multiverse (even though I’m pretty sure I didn’t know the word at the time) and that the powers of evil were making realities all around go “boing,” resulting in thinning boundaries that first explained why my friend and I had literally fallen from the sky into the middle of Rohan and then explained why the White Towers of Gondor and Randland just as illogically became the same place while simultaneously battling the forces of darkness. I don’t recall a lot of the plot after that point, but it ended with us and Legolas in a hot tub, reflecting on how great it was for us that reality had nearly collapsed, since it the worlds hadn’t merged, Legolas and my friend wouldn’t have been able to have a bunch of elf babies and I wouldn’t have been able to become Aes Sedai. Why was there a hot tub? Where did it come from? No idea! I guess it just seemed like a good idea at the time?

So yeah, that was my first completed writing project. I am 100% sure it was one of the most execrable things that a tree ever died to make possible. It didn’t even have a title, and I still hadn’t consistently broken this unfortunate habit I had when I was younger of forgetting that “of” wasn’t spelled with a v (I pronounced it “ov,” everyone I knew pronounced it “ov,” and I remember vividly what it was like to struggle, sometimes for minutes at a time, to think of any other way to spell it before I’d give up and just write “ov”). I didn’t learn to type until eighth grade and didn’t have the nerve to go online for a while longer after that, and the upside of those facts is that “The Tale Of How Me And My Buddy The Legolas Fangirl Joined The Fellowship of the Ring” was never posted anywhere and I thus possibly avoided internet infamy for producing it (to say nothing of how much suckier my sucky middle school life would have gotten if anyone had found out I writing fanfiction - this was back when the twenty-first century was still in single digits, and my middle school made the school from Mean Girls look like an over-the-top parody of a particularly nurturing Montessori kindergarten)….

And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I had a blast writing that thing - so much so that when my first friend moved on, I ended up starting a new series of…what at least began as LotR fanfictions (this time set twenty years after the films, featuring thinly-veiled, idealized version of me and Second Friend as a couple of princesses) but rapidly spiraled into our own little made-up world. I drew maps and tried to invent cultures (in pathetically weak attempts to imitate Tolkien and Jordan) and wrote nonstop for two years, producing two completed 400-odd-page handwritten manuscripts and the first two hundred pages of a third before we finished middle school and didn’t really cross paths again in high school. In ninth grade, now alone, I wrote really awful Harry Potter and Wheel of Time fics for a few months before a Harry Potter-based text roleplay basically ate my life in the second semester. My first few years at the RP also featured a lot of prose I don’t like to recall, and my attempts at plots and characterization were even worse…but the others in the group, either because they saw some glimmer of potential or were just really nice people, never gave me so much as a glimmer of a suspicion that they thought I sucked. Nor did they ever call me out on it when I began to clumsily improve by, uh, blatantly imitating them (since they were and are some darn good writers). And so I wrote, fumbled, wrote, fumbled…and, slowly, improved, to the point where I now, as of this March, have three novel-length fics I’m actually pretty proud of. None of them would win me a Hugo/Poe/Pulitzer/What-Have-You, but I would not feel cheated if I spent five bucks on something of equivalent quality at the dollar store. And if I die tomorrow, I’ll do so knowing that I entertained at least a couple hundred people, and that my work even meant something to a number probably in double digits. So take that and chew on it, Kelsey From Eighth Grade Who Mocked Me For Writing At All And Told Me I’d Never Amount To Anything….

…though that’s beside the point. The point of offering up the details behind 95% (I also write fan essays and used to write original poetry, both mostly unconnected to all this) of my writing-life autobiography was…I guess to echo the exhortation to show some grace to teenagers writing teenager things?

So, TL;DR - being a teenage fanperson is often a natural stage in the development of a writer, and I have a bunch of concrete examples to back up the assertion. Be nice to kids who are just having fun and not being jerks to or hurting anyone. They might improve and discover a lifelong passion, and even if they don’t, then at least they’ll enjoy themselves in a mostly harmless way and maybe have some fond memories to look back on one day.

Teen girls reading this, if you feel a calling to write fanfiction about a teen girl being transported to a fictional world, go for it. If you want to write about a teen girl being adopted by your favorite characters or joining the fellowship of the ring or becoming a knight, please do.

We should be encouraging kids to be creative and practice writing, an important life skill, not discouraging it because we find teens acting like teens to be cringe.

[kingofkingsschizo]

BEAUTIFUL MUSIC. I know sweets hates my guts and as we all know once a girl hates your guts she’ll most likely hate them forever. Forgiveness is not even a forethought in her mind. I know what I did. I’m sorry I acted the way I did when I started to crush on her. I was confused and had mixed emotions about comments she had made about me from previous post and I just reacted. I get highs everyday from being schizoaffective. I was somessed up. Yeah I guess I’ll be labeled her obsessive parasocial who harassed her for 5 years. The truth is when I first encountered her on tumblr 5 years ago I knew she had something I was looking for being she was a schizophrenic and just like everyone else she helps you look at things in a different light and she enlightened me with her knowledge about schizophrenia. I really admire her for this.,over the years the ask sent and responded by her must be in the 1 k range idk but it was a lot of exchange. Now it’s been said that I harassed her for all them years but I think some of her followers can tell you that I wasn’t bad to her in every instance. I mean 5 years of anyone and you will have some conflict in style and character. I know by my actions and behavior during her break up were irrational to her but thats all this 5 years did and it can and will do it to a follower if you fall in love with someone on the other end of a blog. I feel awkward about it all because it doesn’t represent the true me and it was hard taking all the negative shade. It hasn’t been a total loss for me. Yes I lost a nice woman who through my lenses seemed dedicated to answering my ask back for so many years so I took it like it was a friendship for me but it went to far beyond anything I ever experienced or expected.It’s probably been over a year since she blocked me and during that time I might have created 2 albums embellished and inspired by what occurred. I made beautiful music. That’s what I have leftover from sweets. Beautiful music.

[braineyboxd]

My third and final post from last week's impromptu Carole Lombard snow day mini-marathon is another screwball comedy, one I suspect had a not-insignificant influence on the madcap housewife genre on radio and TV in the 1940s and '50s (we see you, Mrs. Ricardo).

True Confession is an absolutely wild story of a wife who cried wolf and ends up accused of murdering the sleazy boss of a new job her husband ordered her not to get. Nobody believes her very true tale of innocence, so instead she pleads self-defense in the hopes she will get acquitted. As her husband works to market her to the jury as a representative--nay, a bastion--of womanly virtue everywhere, a supposed criminologist with bizarre motives and even bizarre-er philosophies refuses to let the case rest.

If I'm honest, the film lacks the necessary pep to be hilarious, especially since it's hard to get past Helen's devious tricks at times. (Some of her lies are truly heinous, lol). She probably had a little trouble coming to her...

The thing I love about this film, though, is how much you can tell our stars enjoyed the production. With True Confession, Lombard and MacMurray closed their underrated cinematic partnership, while John Barrymore reunited with Carole three years after another chaotic classic, 1934's Twentieth Century. The real life relationships shine through this film and its promotional material.

Speaking of promotional materials, our stars each have a confession to make, and they definitely weren't ghostwritten by a Paramount intern or somebody:

(Dig the not one but two mustache references on Fred's confession spread. Apparently it was as big a deal then as it is to us classic film viewers today. What's the verdict folks? Hot or not?)

I CONFESS that my real internet home is on Letterboxd. You can find my star rating for True Confession here.

[very-small-giant]

you have been bad friends to riz gukgak

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 23

Well, it’s been a month. In August, I…

Quit a job

Started a new job

Went to the emergency room for two unplanned surgeries to remove my gallbladder

Celebrated a birthday

Yeesh, I’m exhausted just thinking about it, though not nearly as exhausted as I was just after surgery. My recovery has been steady, but it’s also been slow, which means little victories have included eating solid food and going a full day without napping. With that energy level, you can bet how I spent my short waking hours: watching a lot of movies! (I also read two books—I had some time!) My viewing in the two weeks at the hospital and recovering at home was a combo of Turner Classic Movies’ annual Summer Under the Stars celebration (with 24 hours of programming dedicated to classic movie stars like Stella Stevens, Jackie Cooper, and Greer Garson) and of comfort food faves (including ‘90s action flicks, ’00s rom-coms, and…Mary Kate and Ashley movies). You can see everything I watched in those two weeks on Letterboxd because between the sleepiness and pain meds, I needed a way to remember what was going on. I’m not sure what it says about me, but the idea of staying overnight in the hospital for the first time became a lot easier once I realized their cable packaged included TCM…

It’s also been four years. Yes, August marks both my birthday and the birthday of these Round Ups. In the last four years, I’ve rounded up…

6 stage shows

10 museums

14 concerts and events

15 series of Saturday Night Live sketches

20 podcasts

21 books

46 musical selections

49 TV shows

52 collections of articles, social media fun, and new movie trailers

421 movies 

Yes, I’m excited just thinking about all those Crowd and Critic selections, though my pace going forward will slow some. Going through so many life events in just a few weeks makes you take stock of how you’re spending your time and energy, and my motto is becoming, “If it ain’t easy, it better be worth it.” If I hate cooking, why do I make myself do it every week? And if writing a Round Up with 20 picks is challenging to squeeze in every month, then it’s time to make adjustments. Author Ingrid Fetell Lee summarized this philosophy well (and provided some practical suggestions) in her blog post “12 Ways to Be Gentle With Yourself” this month. In that spirit, Round Ups are becoming more exclusive as two Top Fives. Keep reading to see which movies, concert, book, album, and articles earned coveted this month's coveted spots...

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

I could summarize the plot of this big dumb shark movie, but Bill Hader said it best on SNL: 

Since the trailer surprisingly didn’t give most of the best moments away, I’ll remain coy and just say I spent a lot of Jason Statham’s newest charisma-fest laughing out loud. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

2. Jonas Brothers: The Tour

68 songs! 5 albums! 1 night! As I have recommended Jonas content no fewer than four times in the last 4 years of these Round Ups, you should not be surprised to see this here. Like in 2019, I turned into an embarrassing fangirl freak at this show, singing along with every single song (though finding I really need to beef up on few Happiness Begins tracks) and shaking my sister with excitement every 15 minutes. (I think she was vibrating at the same energy? It's also possible she's just learned it's better to smile and nod when I'm like this.) The boys’ showmanship and knack for shelling out bops do not disappoint.

3. Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld (2023)

A jaded comedy writer (basically Tina Fey) for a late night sketch show (basically Saturday Night Live) discovers a spark with a singer-songwriter rock star hosting an episode (basically John Mayer). So yes…this is an extreme overlap of my interests. Like SNL, this novel does at times lean into saucier and cruder content than I prefer, but the descriptions of the TV show’s behind-the-scenes process and of the relationship between a celebrity and a normie felt so authentic I had to Google Sittenfeld to see if these were based on her own experiences. The best part? A third of the book is a series of email exchanges in the style of You’ve Got Mail. Again, I told you it’s an extreme Venn diagram of my interests!

4. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023) 

I mostly avoided Adam Sandler until 2020—somehow I’d only seen Happy Gilmore and Bedtime Stories before the pandemic. But since May of that year, I’ve watched 17 of them, and it’s time I finally just admit I’m an unironic fan of his, and now of his daughters, too! Bat Mitzvah is the update to Sixteen Candles we didn’t know we needed, and one of its pleasant surprises is Sandler is happy to stand back and watch his daughters shine (as Taylor Swift would say). His supporting role is the perfect choice for a comedy designed to launch his daughters’ Sunny and Sadie’s careers as leads, and Alison Peck’s sincere, funny script describes the pre-teen girl experience honestly. While there’s plenty of overlap with Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret., it’s not a rehash, which makes the pair a perfect double feature. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

5. The Rocketeer (1991)

This action-adventure lives in the world we only imagine 1940s Hollywood to be, one where you could date an Errol Flynn-esque movie star (Timothy Dalton) after he notices you on set, one where you could accidentally find a rocket designed by Howard Hughes, and one where Bonnie and Clyde-style drive-by shoot-outs are everyday occurrences. With Billy Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Arkin, and a dash of the spirit of Indiana Jones, my only regret is I didn’t watch this years ago. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10

More August Crowd-Pleasers: Elvis goes gaga in Hawaii for Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962), a musical comedy both corny and winning; Arnold Schwarzenegger goes ham on militants who kidnap his daughter in Commando (1985), an action flick both corny and thrilling; Michael J. Fox is a former child star who discovers a future child star in the comedy Life With Mikey (1993), the kind of family movie we don’t get enough of today; Sally Hawkins tells the true story of an amateur historian who discovered the remains of The Lost King (2022) Richard III in a drama with a fantastical twist; Paramount+ continues to abuse my nostalgia, but I continue to let them because Carly and Freddie are finally together in the third (and best) season of the iCarly reboot; like every Muny production, Sister Act was a blast on stage

August Critic Picks

1. Carole-thon!

Fun fact: Every Carole Lombard movie I’ve watched since starting this Round Up has become a monthly recommendation—why stop now? Lombard was TCM’s star of the day on August 18th, and it only took one viewing to realize I wanted to marathon everything on my DVR. Most of these titles are short and sweet screwball rom-coms, which means you can knock out quite a few of these in just an afternoon:

No Man of Her Own (1932) - Lombard falls for a con man (real-life future husband Clark Gable)—could she be the one to set him straight?

The Gay Bride (1934) - Lombard marries a gangster for his money, but her true love might be his second-in-command

Lady by Choice (1934) - Burlesque dancer Lombard “adopts” a mother for some positive PR, but she ends up getting more than she bargained for

Hands Across the Table (1935) - Lombard is a manicurist seeking a rich husband, but Manic Pixie Dream Boy Fred MacMurray throws a wrench in that plan 

The Princess Comes Across (1936) - Lombard is a con woman pretending to be a princess on an ocean liner, but her plans get tangled with another person's secrets (MacMurray)

True Confession (1937) - Lombard is a compulsive liar married to a compulsive truth-telling lawyer (MacMurray again) defending her for a murder she didn’t commit

Swing High, Swing Low (1937) - Lombard and MacMurry (for the last time) are musicians caught in a romantic, bi-continental melodrama

Fools for Scandal (1938) - The cutest little rom-com about a hotheaded American actress falling in love with an affable European fellow this side of Notting Hill!

In Name Only (1939) - Lombard and Cary Grant fight for their relationship even though his bitter wife won’t allow for a divorce

2. Executive Suite (1954)

1950s Glengarry Glen Ross! William Holden, Barbara Stanwyck, June Allyson, Fredric March, Walter Pidgeon, and Shelley Winters vie for the seat at the head of the executive table when the president suddenly dies, and together they create a summum bonum of character dramas. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. No Secrets by Carly Simon (1972)

I know I’m the actual last person on Earth to realize the greatness of this album from a career that, among many accomplishments, paved the way for songwriters like Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo. “You’re So Vain” is a banger with no less bite than 50 years ago, and the record is filled with gems start-to-finish.

4. Edge of Darkness (1943)

TCM’s August 5th star Errol Flynn and their August 28th star Ann Sheridan are fighting for their small fishing village, their families, and their love against brutal Nazi occupiers. I couldn't find comprehensive resources to clarify how much of this action-thriller is historically accurate (the novel it’s based on doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page!), but this gritty story of Norwegian resistance captures a similar spirit to some of the best World War II films, equal parts Indiana Jones and Casablanca. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. Good Reads

#BillionGirlSummer: 

"It's #BillionGirlSummer: Taylor, Beyoncé and Barbie Made for One Epic Trifecta,” NPR.com (2023)

“Talking With ‘Swiftie Dads’ at a Taylor Swift Concert,” GQ.com (2023)

“Nearly 1 Out of 4 of ‘Barbie’ Viewers Hadn’t Gone to the Movies Since COVID,” IndieWire.com (2023)

Hollywood appears to be meeting a long-overdue reckoning: 

“The Binge Purge,” vulture.com (2023)

"Anonymous Strike Diary: ‘Our Souls Were Cracking … but Then the AMPTP F***ed Up,’” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

“Orange Is the New Black Signalled the Rot Inside the Streaming Economy,” NewYorker.com (2023)

“Mandy Moore Says She Once Got a Check for a Penny for This Is Us Streaming Residuals,” HollywoodReporter.com (2023)

“David Zaslav, Hollywood Antihero,” NewYorker.com (2023)

Film history and criticism: 

“The 100 Best Movies of the Past 10 Decades,” TIME.com (2023)

“The Fate of the Critic in the Clickbait Age,” NewYorker.com (2017)

“The Instrumentalist,” NYBooks.com (2022)

“The Bradley Cooper “Jewface” Controversy Isn’t Really About That Nose,” slate.com (2023)

And a grab bag of worthwhile thoughts, interviews, and news: 

“Reese Witherspoon Is Starting a New Chapter,” HarpersBazaar.com (2023)

“To Help Cool a Hot Planet, the Whitest of White Coats,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“Beyoncé, Tumblr, and ‘Harlem Shake’: Revisiting Pop’s Most Pivotal Year,” TheDailyBeast.com (2023)

“Elon Musk’s Shadow Rule,” NewYorker.com (2023)

“Why You Rarely Believe Celebrity Apologies on Social Media,” BBC.com (2023)

More August Critic Picks: The kid-and-his-dog dramedy about one of the goodest doggos who ever did live, Tough Guy (1936), hits you right in the heart; Errol Flynn thrills again in a search for sunken treasure that might claim his soul in Mara Maru (1952)

Also in August…

The world’s slowest Best Picture Project continues with 1942’s Mrs. Miniver, a genuinely moving piece of war propaganda. Read my Crowd and Critic reviews.

Until September wraps, you can follow what I’m watching creating lists for on Letterboxd. In August, I updated my rankings of 2023 product movie rankings and Christopher Nolan films by Dead Wife Energy, and I also found some weird overlaps between the August releases Blue Beetle and Meg 2 (warning: spoilers!).

Photo credits: Jonas Brothers, Romantic Comedy, Carly Simon, Good Reads. All others IMDb.com.

[warandpeas]

The True Story: Red Riding Hood

[cthulhum]

does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The Dungeon Meshi crew 'leap' into action!

[xxxdestieltrutherxxx]

OMG THE CRAZIEST THING HAPPENED TO ME JUST NOW.

So, in honor of November 5 (important supernatural date) I wore a red plaid shirt, a leather jacket and some baggy jeans (a la Dean). So I went to the grocery store, and I'm the salt section there was someone wearing a suit and A BEIGE TRENCH COAT. We looked at each other for a solid 10 seconds and then I heard him say "Hello, Dean." I WAS ECSTATIC. I just responded "Hey, Cas" and we both just started laughing. Then, he got serious OUT OF NOWHERE and started saying "I cared about the whole world because of you... You changed me Dean..." Naturally I responded: "Why does this sound like a goodbye...?" He said: "Because it is. I love you." And instead of saying "Don't do this Cas", I said: "I love you too, Cas" the way it should've gone in 15x18. He let out a sad smile and left.