[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]
imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.
she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.
she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.
she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.
they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.
even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.
she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.
she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.
"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.
"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.
he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.
"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."
"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.
"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.
"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.
"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"
"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.
"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."
she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.
she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.
"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."
her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.
the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.
Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.
the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.
so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.
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Maybe it’s my fear of not being believed but I literally can’t do comedy where the other person isn’t being believed. Straight up, at first I would get stressed when the Human Centipede clip was going around. Like, do you know how terrifying it is to be in a wild ass date where you think you’re in danger and the waiter notices but has they have to open their mouth so now you have lie. Or the Elmo Rocko memes like, OF COURSE ELMO’S DISTRESSED! I WOULD BE TOO! LIKE EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU THIS ROCK IS REAL WHEN IT’S NOT(and like yah I’m sure there’s nuance to the situation but like COME ON).
Or Bibi from La Familia Peluche, I remember liking the show as kid and I still do but like, fuck man, the borderline emotional abuse than girl goes through IS WILD. LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING TELLING YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT NORMAL AND FEELING LIKE YOU’RE GOING CRAZY. I remember rewatching La Familia Peluche in Highschool and like fuck man, that period episode. Or to this day I remember the scene where they were serving food and she started to eat first and her family chastised her so she stops but then they make her feel back cause she already started so now she just continue to eat it and like I’ve literally been in a similar situation. And for those who haven’t watched the show, the whole shitck is that this is an absurd world where everyone works on a different level and Bibi’s the only who reacts normally to our eyes(the comedic straight man to alot of the jokes), which leads to the iconic line “Bibi porque no eres una niña normal”(Bibi why aren’t you a normal girl) that is said in every episode. Which from a dramatic irony perspective that we the audience know she’s the only normal person, makes it a funny joke, but if you think about it too hard, it’s so fucking sad, I just can’t help but not fully enjoy the show cause I just constantly feel bad for her.
Fuck even watching HALF LIFE VR BUT THE AI IS SELF AWARE FUCKS WITH ME! Like yes I very much enjoy the series! But, most of the time I’m just feeling bad for Gordon, like fuck man, I’d react the same way, wouldn’t you. Like ESPECIALLY BENRY! MAN DID HE STRESS ME OUT! I genuinely felt so bad for Gordon!
And then this slides into how I can’t enjoy alot of comedy(especially cringe humor) cause even though I understand the joke and think it funny on paper, I just end up feeling too bad for the character to actually enjoy. And it’s awful because I’ll STILL watch the shows because I’m invested in the characters not the humor if that makes sense??? (Oh, Community/The Office, the hate love relationship I have with you).
Anyway, yes I’m so fun to watch comedy with, I literally can’t be in the same room from some scenes. And yes, all my favorite characters follow the Only Sane Man trope, why’d you ask?
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I feel like HypMic is at this weird point where they are lingering on how they want to proceed forward. I feel like the music for the 2nd DRB was very experimental, and I did appreciate that even if I didn't like all the music (except for that DragonAsh song tho that was ass LOL). It feels like KR is struggling with how to move forward with telling a story while using the voting system, as such they've kinda written themselves into a corner. Like it was obvious they wanted FP to win the 2nd DRB because it was needed for plot. But at the same time it really feels like the plot has slowed to a crawl at the same time, and between that and the music creeping away from rap you're kinda left with a feeling of disappointment overall. It esp hits harder when you're a fan of BAT and DH given how under utilized they still are in the grand scheme of things. But given how they placed them geographically it feels like yet another instance of KR accidentally writing them into a corner and struggling to rectify that so they can be more relevant but also make it make sense, idk. I still love Kuko no matter what even if the series is currently languishing. (it also doesn't help that there isn't really any unified fandom because of politics, too much content too fast, and people being so oshi-pilled they have no interest in touching content that doesn't interest them. Which again, sucks as BAT fan cuz we don't really have a translator solider for us.)
what’s really really annoying about that, is that it has been put out there that we’ve entered the third act in hypmic’s story and tho it’s not always necessarily the case, usually that means we are heading towards an end. and we are starting to see an end with a lot of og division plot threads so to be closer to the end than not and still having like a third of your cast floundering around is not good!!!!! at all lol!!!! unless there’s a max effort push to bring nagosaka into the fold, it really does feel like nagosaka, no matter what, will feel under utilised
hypmic’s slow to come plot bombs have been a staple since the beginning so i’m not mad at it, esp since i suspect those long waits have something to do with production values and making the next shiny, economically stimulating thing lol, but you’re right about it not being great rn when everything else is not great lol
but i will say hypmic has its formulas. like the way first solos were surface level character introduction raps and the second solos went into depth, for the og divisions, their first drb and preceding dramas were introductory and the 2nd drb dramas really dug deep into them. so hopefully the same will happen for nagosaka when the 3rd drb drama hits them lol 🤞
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I am absolutely positively losing it at how Bo Katan drops the ball so hard. I was prepared for her to be more of an obstacle in the face of Din having the Darksaber, for her to be petty and reluctant to give up any form of leadership she has having gathered the Mandalorians - but she really sat on that throne and gave us nothing.
It’s so Bo Katan to be such a disappointment. To go against what she claims her morals to be. If she really wanted the Mandalorian people to be reunited, for Mandalore to be reclaimed, she wouldn’t have just given up upon not getting the Darksaber. She wouldn’t be turning away anyone who still wants to join the cause of reclaiming their planet. She wouldn’t have given up at such a roadblock if she had really cared for her people and her culture.
Bo tells Din to retake Mandalore and lead them himself, as if there’s no greater joke. Wave that thing around, they’ll do whatever you say. And when he asks if she’s given up, she lashes out. Sits there and says his people gave up long before the purge, how his cult fractured their people, how his beliefs are a joke. How he’s a fool to go to a planet that’s so destroyed it’s hopeless, and he calls her out. I thought you said the curse was a lie, make up your mind.
She only uses ‘our’ when she says ‘our people’ to continue to insult him, accuse him of what she’s done before, what she’s doing now - failing their people. Scattering the Mandalorians. She picks and chooses what traditions and cultures of her people to take to heart based on convenience. She’s not loyal to her people but to her own ideals and power.
This is why Din Djarin has always been and always will be a better leader and representation of the Mandalorians. The way he follows has always been about protecting his clan and himself, but when his tradition is put against saving his child, he saves his child and would do so over and over again. Yet he still wants to atone because the respect of his people is important to him. Versus Bo Katan, who does not care enough about her people to even consider trying to bring them together without being the ruler of them all, to try and keep her people alive even if it means rethinking tradition.
To her, ruling has never been about the people of Mandalore. It has never been about reuniting their people who survived a cultural and a literal genocide. Ever since her days in Death Watch, it has never been about truly leading her people into something better. It has always been about her pride. It has always been about being right.
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