#Triggery

[angelbvn]

it’s so cold :(

[cristol-rose]

Just love how my autisim/aspects makes me out to be a bigger bad girl then a normal human.

Like heck, I'm sorry that you tucking the blanket into me and making it tight woke me up and I started having a "tantrum" I'm sorry that the change in reality disturbed my isolation in our headspace. I'm sorry your tossing and turning woke me and triggered our head.

I can't always control these things, and we hate when our persecutors front, as they attack everyone not just us.

Why make us to be the bad girl, you disturbed us and you then continued doing the same all night. You expect us to understand what you want, we are lucky to know what we want.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Day 5: Saint Day

I'll come back for day 4 when I have time. For now... @felpacweek day 5. hurt/comfort I guess? Aftermath of an off-screen panic attack. Probably??? Who knows really.

Pac kneels on the floor of the Church. It is not a real Church, not consecrated or blessed, with no Priest or confession booth or regular service. There is, of course, Cucurucho's Church, one which has held funerals if nothing else, but that one...

Felps might have laid claim to it, but it is Cucurucho's Church. This one, to his knowledge, is the only Church to Saint Felps.

He keeps his eyes from the image, bowed low as he prays. Just as it is not really a Church, however, it is not really a prayer - yes, he was taught many prayers as a child, and yet...

His mind is blank, comfortingly so. Here in the Church of Saint Felps finally it quietens. Pac is well aware that these walls will not save him, this place cannot protect him, that there is nothing truly Holy in this place, but still it quietens the fear.

How long has it been now, since he saw his Felps?

Too long.

Pac's legs are as numb as his mind, the thin carpet not enough to protect him from the floor. He remembers the terror and the fear and the everything going wrong, but it is hard to comprehend it now. There is just him, and an empty Church, and a photoshopped portrait of Felps on the wall. The whole Church was a joke at first, and Pac thought Felps' sainthood was too.

In retrospect, it explains a lot of things.

Just like the footsteps at the door, approaching Pac from behind. Somehow, somehow, they still do not cause Pac to panic. He simply allows them to come.

"Pac," Felps' voice is filled with sleep. "You were the one thinking about me?"

"Hi Felps," he replies, chronically aware of the shake in his voice.

"Don't you want to get up? Don't your knees hurt?"

Pac isn't sure. If he doesn't move, if he stays very still and very good, then maybe - maybe - nothing will be able to hurt him.

He does not answer; Felps flops down on the floor besides him.

"You're thinking very loudly. Don't you want to come back and sleep?Surely it's safer if there is a door?"

It's not about being safe, it's about feeling safe. And where could Pac possibly feel safer than at the heart of Felps' power?

"I'm fine," Pac manages to whisper, very much contradicted by every part of himself.

"Oh I know," Felps keeps one hand behind himself, using the other to wrap across Pac's shoulders. Pac manages to move just a little, shifting sideways to press his weight against Felps' side. "Everyone's fine it's how it works."

Pac turns his head to the side, barely breathing. He hides himself in his Saint, and pretends that he is not still so very afraid of leaving the altar.

After a long few moments, Felps kisses the top of his head.

"I bless you," he says after, a little more serious than usual. Then comes another kiss, and "I bless you, I bless you, I bless you."

By the time he is finished, Pac's hair is covered in kisses. His laughter is definitely still wet and unstable, but Felps has driven him to laughter. He turns, hugging Felps properly, and kisses the side of his neck.

Felps freezes for a moment, then hugs Pac tight.

Pac still is not ready to get up yet, and the floor is no less cold, but with Felps right here it is just a little less easy to feel so very afraid.

[spite-and-waffles]

I've been noticing some AO3 authors tagging their multiship orgy fics with "no incest" like. Firstly, that's what the pairing tags are for. Secondly, trying that performative anti-batcest shit on a gangbang is like wearing a purity ring to the Devil's Sacrament. It's not going to spare you at the stake and everybody just thinks you're an idiot.

[matoitech]

the undine part of the new dunmeshi ep has a RLY cool style its much more studio triggery and i love how its animated

[f4y3w00d5]

jdsjfgdjsgfsghdf i dont wanna eat lunch ewww

[not-poignant]

hi pia! the latest ‘stain that won’t dissolve’ update caught me in the middle of deep cleaning my apartment, because i am about to finish my masters and my family is coming to town for graduation and i need to be PRESENTABLE. i read the bit about cleaning from the top to bottom after vacuuming my bedroom but before dusting my desk and i was like ‘ah fuck’. BUT thanks to alex i am cleaning the rest of my apartment properly, which i think is all any of us can ask for. thanks for writing great fic !!

Hi anon!

Ohhh that's so awesome that you're so close to finishing your Masters! You're amazing!

As for cleaning - there's a right way to do it if you're a professional - but if you're in your own home, just do it in the way that feels good for you. My mum used to be a professional cleaner, and while she has her standards, my own are pretty different as a disabled person!

But glad Alex could teach you some cleaning tips ;)

I nearly wrote like 4 pages of just of Alex cleaning 'correctly' and then had to really stand in front of the mirror like 'Pia, this is not important to the story, stop it' lmao so had him fantasising about Sebastian's tissue box by the bed, instead dflkasj

[chamerionwrites]

I don't mean to harp on this but in all seriousness, some of you really need to reflect on the level of weight that you feel comfortable plunking down in a total stranger's inbox. Like there truly are a loud handful of people on the internet who - rather than becoming more careful and compassionate and aware of others - use their own trauma as a free pass to behave with total thoughtlessness about the fact that behind screen names are real people who live in the same world with the same systemic problems as they do, and who may well have struggles and sensitivities and yes, traumas of their own.

Some of this undoubtedly comes down to a sort of survival selfishness: if you're constantly unsure where your next meal is coming from there's going to be stuff you just don't have the spoons for, and likewise when you're spending a ton of mental energy white-knuckling your way through your own problems it can be hard to focus on those of other people. So it's understandable and to some degree even sympathetic, but that doesn't make it acceptable. It is completely inappropriate to jump into a stranger's inbox and start aggressively interrogating them (eg) how they feel about CSA because they stated that Make Bullying Great Again posts are kinda concerning. Uh...bad, bro! I feel bad about it! And given that - again - you don't know me from Adam, you have absolutely no way of knowing how bad, or how close and personal any of that badness might be, and this is only one specific example among many but the point is that some of you need to seriously reevaluate what you feel comfortable saying to strangers on the internet.

[lith-myathar]

.

[serjaimelannister]

tomorrow is going to be gross and rainy and i had an Upsetting doctor's appointment today + have spent most of the day crying on and off and i just want to stay home even if i still have to work remotely but alas i am too coward to ask :(

[lavampira]

anyway as a reminder since I’ve got newer followers that I have all the f*llen h*ro tags blacklisted and would appreciate if mutuals tagged posts for it pls and ty 🫶

[nostalgia-tblr]

And now, the Dark Lokius is unleashed! It's not very nice, it's some uncertain level of dubcon (because it's not entirely clear what is and isn't a deception - don't look at me for answers, I don't know either), it's not as Stockholmy as I originally thought it would be but it's still pretty messed-up.

Title: this is how the world works (now all he thinks about is me) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021) Rating: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Mobius Wordcount: ~2000 Additional Tags: Stockholm Syndrome, (maybe), Dubious Consent, Dark, Fucked Up, Oral Sex, TVA Trash Party (Marvel), Power Imbalance, Praise Kink, Dark!Lokius, Victim Blaming, Short One Shot, Not A Dead Dove But Maybe A Wounded Pigeon Summary/Snippet: Mobius reaches down and runs a thumb over Loki’s lips until he parts them as expected, just enough to hint at possibilities, to show that he’s willing to play along with this game yet again. Everything is a performance for Loki, and he never lets his guard down, never lets the continual pretence drop. He probably doesn’t even remember what ‘being himself’ was actually like. Luckily for him, old Mobius has his number: Mobius has watched Loki’s entire life play out, over and over in endless iterations, and he long ago became convinced that despite all the defiant posturing and attempts at domination the real Loki, deep down, wants to kneel at someone else’s feet, longs to be led and to be taken. Part of this performance is the pretence that the outcome is uncertain, that either of them has any doubt about what happens next. That this compliance is offered without expectation of reward, and that Mobius might choose not to take advantage

[ofviolentdeath]

Characters::Chance and Berk Word Count::826

---

The conversation with Robbie had left Chance...shaken? He wasn't even sure if that was the right word. There was still this pulling in his chest, this dull ache and he had been startled to find wetness on his cheeks when he left the house.

Hell, he had barely said more than two words to his mom or Az on his way out, still too busy trying to process things.

Of all of the kids, Robbie had been the one he hadn't expected to want him out of his life and he wasn't sure how to handle that. Giving him that choice to say for sure what he wanted hadn't been easy either. Especially since Chance hadn't even offered Berk that same opportunity.

Berk.

The thought barely entered his head before he was standing in front of his son's door, unsure if he should even really be there. It had always been a part of their agreement, that Chance wouldn't just show up unannounced so long as Berk kept to their set schedule.

It wasn't enough to keep him from slowly reaching out and knocking on the door, two sharp taps, careful only to use his knuckles instead of his clenched fist.

His dad was the last person Berk had been expecting and he glanced over his shoulder before slipping outside and closing the door. Luke wasn't there but that didn't mean Berk wanted Chance inside of his home if he could help it.

"What are you doing here?"

He sounded...tired? He looked like he hadn't been sleeping and Chance couldn't help but frown at that.

"Robbie does not want me around now that he knows everything." The words were slow, careful. He half expected Berk to tell him that was a good thing. Jack would have said worse.

Ah. That made sense to some degree, but it didn't explain why he was here.

"That doesn't answer the question."

Chance was silent, weighing the words. "If I had given you the choice, would you have gone no contact with me like Jack?" he finally asked, the words much quieter than he expected them to come out.

There had been a time, once, where Robbie's words wouldn't have bothered him, but whatever Cam had done to him all those years ago had shaken something loose that he didn't know how to tape back down.

Berk regarded him for a moment before he sighed and open the door, disappearing inside. He left the door open but when when his father didn't follow him, he sighed and called out over his shoulder.

"Are you going to come in and close the door or are you just going to stand there?"

The invitation felt weird but Chance took it, closing the door behind him but not venturing far beyond that. He had never actually seen the inside of Berk's place before and he was trying his best to be respectful of it.

When Berk reappeared, he had two open bottles of beer in his hands and he offered one to his father before dropping down on his favorite chair.

He nodded his thanks as he accepted the drink and perched on the very edge of the threadbare couch. Despite how it looked, it was shockingly comfortable.

"So. You want to know if I would go no contact if you let me?"

A part of him had dreamed of being asked that but it was funny how the answer on the tip of his tongue wasn't the one Berk had always dreamed of giving.

"No. Maybe once, when it was all still fresh but..." Berk trailed off and shook his head before taking a drink of his beer. "You're not a good person, I don't think you could be, but you did your best. It wasn't great, but seeing how you've been trying to make sure we're all okay in the wake of mom breaking, it's something. Even if I had been no contact when it all happened, I think I would have given you a chance in light of this."

"For the record, I don't think Robbie'll hate you forever."

Part of him wanted to ask why, to understand, but he knew it wouldn't help. Chance could have it explained to him in every possible way and he would still never understand the emotional aspect of it.

He nodded though, took a drink of his own beer, and watched his son as if seeing him for the first time.

"You deserved better too. You're right. I did try. But that doesn't mean it was enough."

Berk had certainly turned out better than he should have, all things considered, but Chance was proud of him.

"I hope Robbie gets the chance to get to where you are someday."

Chance set the beer bottle aside and stood, one hand gripping Ber's shoulder for a moment before he was simply gone, the open bottle the only physical proof he had been there at all.

[not-poignant]

would alex ever get another pet?

Possibly!

At the moment it's not really on the cards. They're a lot of responsibility, and this story is arcing towards dumping less responsibility on Alex and not more. Being a sole owner of a pet (or at least most pets) while working night-shift/s and having PTSD and clinical depression etc. is not always a great experience for either the owner or the pet, at least in terms of trying to be diligent to get not just food needs met, but particularly stimulation needs met. Alex definitely couldn't afford a pet, right now. He might be able to in two months or so. He can't afford to feed himself three times a day right now.

I also think Alex is fairly aware that he doesn't want to just have another dog live in a kennel outside all the time (Rusty is a relic of his father's way of doing things, and not Alex's preferred way of doing things, a kid who wants to feed his dog a steak is not generally a kid who wants a dog to live outside all its life imho). His experience/s with Rusty are complicated for him, and so he's not like...looking to replace that bond, or rush into anything, and it's definitely tabled in his mind.

That doesn't mean a pet is out of the question, it's just complicated and it's a 'definitely not going to happen right now' situation.

What is more likely, is that Sebastian might think about a pet, and through osmosis, Alex might get to spend more time with it because he works there. :)

[lunar-years]

Okay I have spent all afternoon writing and I am essentially no closer really to being done with Parent Trap AU because it just got longer without being closer to a resolution but now I also have 2k of an im-in-my-blorbo-feelings-again Jamie Tartt + Touch fic so we’ll see where that goes !

[gingersnapwolves]

White, newly returned to Thailand, looks for his brother but can’t find him. Instead, he finds the garage gang.

 “Hey, Black! Where the hell have you been? We said ‘lie low for a few days’ not ‘go AWOL for over a week’!”

 “You know Black?” White demanded, and the other man blinked, confused. “Ah - my name is White. I’m Black’s twin brother. I’ve been looking for him.”

Or, the AU where Todd doesn’t put Black in a coma so someone else steps in to solve a problem for Tawi.