#Transcript of Questioning Best Practices to Do Great Work

[ghostking4m]

Rejection Is Just Redirection

Luke Hughes x reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Listen, you didn’t really need college. You broke into the entertainment industry at 16, so college was just a plan b you put on the back burner. Being one of the most famous names and faces in the entire world, you easily had enough money to afford college, so why not give it a shot? After all, your boyfriend went to college, though he did kind of drop out to play hockey.

Once you made up your mind that you’d be going back to school, your next step what choosing your major and what schools to apply to. You write songs and sometimes write poems and books, so maybe English or journalism? Maybe Communications would help you answer some of the dodgy questions the paparazzi ask you. Heck, even political science or economics or business would be a good idea. They would allow you to make a difference in the world. Business sounds like a safe choice. You could do a lot with a business degree. Now to apply to schools.

So here’s the thing, you’re finally in a real relationship that you really don’t want to mess up. Staying in LA would allow you to go to school and continue working, so you could still be in the limelight when you want to be. USC and UCLA would be great choices for that and they’re extremely accredited schools. However, maybe Rutgers is the school you should choose, since it’s close to Luke. NYU might even be an interesting choice since it wouldn’t raise too many questions if you’re going to school in the city because you want to or if it’s because you want to be closer to your boyfriend. It has always been your dream school when you were a kid. Well, it’s decided then!

You honestly weren’t expecting the application and admissions process to be so complicated and grueling. It’s like the education system is trying to torture kids to see who would come out on top as the victor. College really is like the Hunger Games, isn’t it? You hadn’t the slightest idea of how to fill out your major requirement classes or send your high school transcript to the admissions office and your essays were mid at best. You’re a celebrity, it’s not like you needed to try all that hard to graduate high school since you did homeschooling since you were 16. Though, you gotta admit that the feeling of finally being done with the application process was a relief. It’s just a waiting game now for admissions decisions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“T-minus 2 hours until decisions come out. You nervous?” Luke asked as you guys were laying on the couch before he had to go to practice.

“A little, but it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get in. I mean, i’ve already got my career, so why would I worry about getting in so that I could work more to get a degree that would allow me to work even more? Why did i do this again?” you questioned back, joking with him. “If I don’t get in, I’ll just grab my bag and go back to LA and star in the highest grossing movie of the decade… again”

Luke laughed at your comment, despite hearing the quiet hesitation in your voice. He didn’t realize how much you actually wanted to get in. He didn’t know how much you wanted to prove that you’re more than just some face in gossip magazines or the most talked about name in the headlines. You wanted to be seen and treated like a person, someone who people respected because you worked just as hard as they did to get to the same place as them. You always advocated for equality for everyone and yet people always worshipped you and put you on a pedestal.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” he countered.

“I’m not sure yet. Part of me regrets applying, because I don’t want to get in for nepotism or for being famous, but I also want to get in, because I want to make everyone proud of me.” You replied.

It broke Luke’s heart a little to hear you talk about this in the way you are, because how could anyone not be proud of you and what you accomplished at such a young age? You had 6 Oscars, 4 Emmys, the most nominations at the Grammy’s this year, and you were named the most powerful person of the year by Time Magazine, Forbes Magazine, AND Vogue. You were a sensation that was still only just beginning. You had the entire world eating in the lam of your hand.

“Well, no matter what happens, I’m proud of you for trying. You don’t need college, but I applaud your efforts anyway. You could honestly be anything you want, be anyone you want, all you have to do is try and not everyone can do that.” He said, and his heart absolutely MELTED at the tiny smile you tried to hide by hiding your face further in his chest.

He heard you mumble the most adorable, embarrassed “Thanks” from his chest and he couldn’t help but giggle.

“Let’s not think about it for a while, please?” you asked, politely.

“Ok. We can just rewatch the movie where you play a real life version of one of the most famous dolls in the world.” He says, purposefully teasing you!!

“Oh God.” You laughed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You held your breath as you opened the email concealing your admissions decisions. It felt as if the world was telling everyone to be quiet and listen.

“I got it.” You whispered as quietly as possible.

“You got in?!” Luke shouted, jumping nearly 7 feet high as he got up to look at you.

“No. I got the email that says if I got in or not.” You answered.

“Oh. Sorry for freaking out.” He looks away, slightly embarrassed. You give him a small look and smile full of adoration before turning back to your phone.

“Here goes nothing.” You say as you click on the email. “What? I don’t get it? Oh! I have to log into the admissions portal in order to see the decision.”

You click on the portal login link and enter your login id username and password, fingers slightly trembling with anticipation. Hesitantly, you click on the link that states “An update has been made about your decision.”

Taking a deep breath, you read a letter that says:

“Dear Y/n, Thank you for applying to New York University. We are humbled by the overwhelming interest in attending NYU and the outstanding quality of the applications we received this year. After careful consideration and thorough examination, it is with regret we must inform you were are unable to offer you admission for the Fall 2024 semester.”

“I didn’t get in.” You confessed barely loud enough for a mouse to hear.

Instantly, Luke had his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest, fiercely protective. You were so disappointed that you weren’t even crying, almost as if you were expecting to be rejected.

“Whatever. Fuck them anyway. They didn’t deserve you to begin with. You belong somewhere like UMich or in an Ivy League school. You’re too good for them.” He tries to reassure you. “Look at it this way, you can continue doing what you love most and stay here with me. In the end, you learned something.”

“And what’s that?” you questioned him.

“Rejection is just redirection, that’s all. College wasn’t in the cards for you and life thinks you’re better off in the spotlight, making more money in a single year than those lousy admissions officers make in their entire lives. You were meant to be somebody great. You ARE somebody great and you’re becoming somebody even more perfect than I ever thought possible.”

His words struck a chord in your heart so deeply that you couldn’t help but hold on to him for dear life. You felt your eyes begin to prick with tears. As the first one fell out of your right eye, you knew automatically that they were tears of joy. Your heart swelled with pride and love for Luke as you laughed into his chest.

“Yeah. Fuck them. I don’t need them. I’m a star! You’re all I need.” You teased back. Deep down, you were incredibly disappointed, but Luke’s words of affirmation and love meant more to you than the rejection letter did. Nothing could beat that.

“That’s right, baby.” He laughed as he tighten his grip over you. He gently kissed the top of your head and repeated quiet “I love you’s” for at least 10 minutes.

“What time is it?” You asked.

“It’s…5:30.” He responded gently leaning over to turn on his phone to check. “Oh Shit! I’m gonna be late!”

“Go! Go! Go!” You laughed at him.

God, this boy. You thought, shaking your head. That’s MY boy.

[chirpingfromthebox]

The Fleet's Post-game Press Conference: BOS vs. MIN - 12/4/2024

The second game for both the Frost and the Fleet, as well as Boston's home opener.

At the table were head coach Courtney Kessel, captain Hilary Knight, and goalie Aerin Frankel.

Transcription is under the break.

[This is neither here nor there, but the Fleet consistently have the best expressions at the post-game press sessions.]

Reporter:

The first obvious question: did you get a reason as to why the penalty was downgraded?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

Yeah, they said that it was Müller’s own stick that hit her in the head.

Reporter:

Do you have a status update on her?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

We’re just- we’re still evaluating.

[a really awkward like 8 second pause here where no one says anything.]

Reporter:

Would you like to comment on that?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

On what?

Reporter:

On the penalty?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

I mean, you never want to see anyone get hit like that. And you don’t want to see anyone get hurt. Hopefully it will be reevaluated. Our hands our kind of tied at that point. But you know, hopefully it’s looked at and- We just never want to see anyone get hurt.

Reporter:

Obviously it’s been a frustrating start offensively to the season. What things do you want to look at in practice and try to get back on track for the game on Sunday?

[The Fleet play the Sirens in Boston on Sunday, 12/8/2024]

COURTNEY KESSEL:

I would just say, you know, doing the small things. Like, we can’t turn pucks over at the blue lines. And I don’t think it’s a lack of offensive ability. I think it’s just the mistakes that happen prior to us getting in the O-zone that are holding us back right now.

Reporter:

You’ve had some long dry spells at different parts in the two games. Is there anything you guys are thinking you can work on this week before the next game to try and alleviate that?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

We’re just gonna remember that it’s a 60 minute game.

[One of my favorite things about Coach Kessel in interviews is that she has a really interesting way of dealing with questions she doesn’t like. Wherein she shows she’s annoyed, but does it in a pretty tactful way. Obviously this is essentially the same as the pointed question she literally just answered, so she gives them a look and kind of refuses to help their attempt to fish for a better quote.]

Reporter:

Hilary [Knight], on the flip side you’re off to a great start offensively. How has that been getting off to the hot start this season and scoring wherein last season it took you a little while?

HILARY KNIGHT:

Yeah, I mean, it doesn’t matter if we’re not winning games, right? So, I think it’s important that we find the net more. Obviously playing a 60 minute game is more advantageous for us than not. And so looking forward to our next opportunity to play 60 minutes.

Reporter:

On that first penalty kill, it sorta looked like you guys were pretty effected by the No Escape rule. How does that new rule sort of change how you approach the penalty kills and did you see it affect your game tonight?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

Yeah, I think you’re gonna see it across the league. It’s gonna affect it, because you’re gonna have players that potentially haven’t played PK their entire lives and now you’re asking them to play against some of the top- the best players in the world? And so, you know, the league wants more power play goals and they’re gonna get that as a result of this new rule.

Reporter:

How do you get your team adjusted to it? Not allowing in power play goals?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

It’s great to see, you know, people adding different skills to their tool box. [everyone at the table chuckles]. Some that probably didn’t think they’d ever see it. You know, so it was good. It was good for us to kill those penalties even though we didn’t have some of our top PKers on there.

Reporter:

Is that something you’re going to be practicing this season? Rotating everyone through the penalty kill? Or are you gonna mostly stick and practice to just set units?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

Yeah, no, everyone’s gonna have to know the PK because it happens every single game.

Reporter:

Aerin [Frankel], you’ve been facing some deluges every once in a while. How are you staying sharp when you have no rest between the shots?

AERIN FRANKEL:

Sorry, can you rephrase?

Reporter:

Sorry, you’ve been getting a lot of shots in a row at a bunch of different times so far this season. How are you staying sharp and getting back up so quickly?

AERIN FRANKEL:

I think just taking it one shot at a time. It’s normally my mentality. It’s a long season. And each night we’re facing really good competition. So try to not get too ahead of myself and just take it one shot at a time, one period at a time, and one game at a time.

Reporter:

The first goal seemed to take kind of a funky bounce. Could you take us through it from your perspective?

AERIN FRANKEL:

Yeah, I actually need to look at it. I don’t exactly know what happened. I knew the puck was behind the net and I heard one of our defensemen telling me that it was up in the air, but I didn’t see it. So just gonna have to take another look at it.

Reporter:

Your second season has, you’re only two games into it, but coming back to this arena with the crowd, hearing them cheer for you guys when your names and even the reserve players, and I know that we were told, Hilary, that it was you that pushed to have the reserves and the [???] be announced today as well. Why was that important to you to make sure that the whole team was announced today?

Hilary Knight:

Everyone on our roster, whether it’s active or non-active, is part of this team. You know, you win championships with that team and I think it’s really important that everyone celebrated that moment. We have a phenomenal crowd and it’s really special to be able to suit up for the Fleet and play for this city. Yeah, I think that’s just the thought that went behind it. It wasn’t only me, it was a handful of players in the room that really wanted that decision to happen.

Reporter:

Hilary, you’re in a lot of those lines, obviously it wasn’t the result you wanted, how did it feel to be able to have that first home game as the Fleet properly? You know, hearing that, I think, the ‘Go Fleet Go” chant? Sounds kind of like organic. How was it?

HILARY KNIGHT:

Yeah, special. You know, it’s part of the identity. Part of the legacy we want to build here in Boston. Not saying the crowd was any less than last year, because it was electric. So looking forward to building on that and now that we have a Fleet identity and all the things that go with the Fleet, I guess, category, and harbor, and play on, you know, having a seaside city. It’s cool. Looking forward to different cheering clubs and, you know, hopefully they can model something off of soccer that we see. I think that’s really special. Yeah, we’ve got great fans and we really want to win in front of our fans and we came up really short tonight.

Reporter:

In the final 5 minutes you guys were having a little trouble skating the zone when you’re down that hole. What was going on with the breakout for that last stretch?

[A short bit of silence. Kessel looks over at Knight. A second later Knight looks over to Kessel and is surprised to see her looking her way and they both laugh.]

HILARY KNIGHT:

I think we were just trying to go North with the puck. We were kind of playing hot potato out there for a good first and second period and finally trying to find our bearings to be able to get out of the zone, get more people in the offensive zone. More pressure on net. We didn’t create nearly enough shots. But yeah, something we’re gonna work on and get better at moving forward.

Reporter:

One more question about coming back to the league this year. The launch video in the beginning had all the players saying, “We’re here to stay.” I’m wondering, this league is coming into some more stability, what does that do for you all as players?

HILARY KNIGHT:

I mean, it generates more opportunity for women in sport. It deepens our legacy here in the city of Boston and the Northeast. Obviously Mark Walter and Kimbra group made an outstanding commitment to put women’s hockey on the professional spotlight. It’s growing and it’s so exciting. So I think that’s part of the league’s mantra, if you will, for the Boston area.

Reporter:

Are there specific things you hope to see in the second season?

[Knight laughs]

HILARY KNIGHT:

No, I think the names are a great start. I think the jerseys, the colorways, just, you know, building on the electric start from the first year. Yeah, and I think a championship here in the city of Boston is instrumental to being a part of that storied Boston legacy.

[End of Interview.]

[umgeorge]

george russell ls interviewed during the press conference on media day, monaco - may 23, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "George, coming to you now, a lot of positive comments coming out of Mercedesa fter the race on Sunday at Imola. Where is the car better after this latest raft of upgrades?" George: "Yeah, the car's definitely more balanced through the lap now. We were struggling a lot, at the start of the year, balancing the high to low speed corners, and I think we have made progress. When you look at the gap to Red Bull, when you look at the gap to the rest of the midfield, we have moved forward, but I do think it's fair to say Ferrari and McLaren have moved forward at the same rate, so we need to keep on working, bringing those upgrades to the car, and the whole team are working flat-out right now to bring those upgrades as quick as possible." Interviewer: "You've finished fifth here for the last two years. Do you have the performance to finish higher than that on merit?" George: "As the guys have been saying, Monaco's so challenging. There's so many disruptions throughout the whole weekend, and you just need to find that sweet spot. The track's evolving so much, it's getting faster and faster; often up to three seconds quicker in qualifying than it is in a practice one, two. Even if you have a good Friday, you need to be ready to adapt moving into Saturday, and we saw today… I was in the engineering meeting and there was bright blue sunshine, and then I came out andit was pouring down with rain, so that could add some spice to things." Interviewer: "Do you think the low speed performance of the car will help you?" George: "I think we've known all season that we struggle to balance high to low speed. We can either get it quite competitive in the low speed and we struggle in high speed, or vice versa, so we are hoping that with relatively consistent corner speeds at this circuit that we should be slightly more competitive."

[time jump] NOT SHOWN: Journalist: "Albert Fabrega, ESPN Latam. Do you think that deleting the quickest lap time of a driver causing a yellow or red flag during qualifying, it could be a good system for a particular track like this one, for example?" NOT SHOWN: Esteban Ocon: "I think, if I'm correct, that's being looked at by the FIA. I think recently we've discussed that in some drivers' meetings, that a situation where a driver would cause a red flag would be monitored. So I think that should be something sensible to be doing, because we've seen in the past drivers causing issues and the others not being able to do a lap. Yeah, that should be something that the FIA monitors, I think." George: "Yeah, I agree with Esteban. We obviously have laps deleted all the time in qualifying for track limits. I think if you were to cause a yellow flag or red flag, you should probably have your best lap deleted. Yeah, nothing more to say there."

[time jump] Journalist: "Roldan Rodriguez from DAZN, Spain. A question to George: Last race your teammate said that he would prefer Kimi Antonelli in Mercedes in next year. I would like to know your opinion, who is in pole next year for Mercedes?" George: "Yeah, I think Kimi's a fantastic driver. Obviously racing in Formula 2 this year, but he's no doubt gonna be a Formula 1 driver in the future. And he's a fellow junior driver, as well, coming through the ranks as I did with the team, so I think it makes for a great opportunity for Mercedes, building into the future. But, as I said before, I'd welcome anybody as my teammate. I feel like I've got a pretty good teammate right now, as it is, so yeah, welcome anybody."

[mattnben-bennmatt]

Ben Affleck on how he met Matt Damon and forged a collaborative friendship

From the SmartLess podcast, hosted by Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett (3 April 2023)

-

BEN: First of all, it's a really lucky thing it occurs to me now—I saw [Matt] the other day and we're doing this movie together—very few people are lucky enough to spend their life in the same line of work with their best friend from when they were kids, manage to stay friends, not end up hating each other. Actually, be friends and love each other [...] I mean, it was something that seemed really normal and that I took for granted because there we were: we were kids who— he was a bigger kid, for a brief period. I was 8, he was 10, he was a big kid, he played baseball, he was really cool, he had a bowl cut—those little feathered ones that we all wanted, of course—and he— And he was, you know, nice to me. And we were both interested in the same things. Just kids who grew up two blocks apart and both wanted to be actors—for whatever reason it is that makes you wanna do that thing—and hung out and then we're in the same friend group and then sort of went off and did— "Oh, let's—" We're just like dumb enough to think, "It'll pan out for us! We'll just go be actors! We'll just go work!" And kind of believing in it. And then live together. But I think the reason why it wasn't a thing—that sort of "competition" thing that you talk about—is because we did a lot of auditioning very early on. [...] And always the thing was, we would get our little act together, and practice our scenes, and do our workshop—I mean, "nerdy" doesn't even begin to describe it—but it really was a genuine thing, where we were like, "Look, I hope I get the part. But if I don't, I really hope you do." And for a while, we had this thing where we were like, "We'll just split all our money!" [...] I took for granted that he liked me, and rooted for me, and wanted me to succeed. We just didn't— We're lucky enough not to have the friendship of that whole "It's not enough that I succeed, all my friends have to fail" thing. And there are people I've wanted to fail! I can be just as petty and bitter as any other actor. But I loved him. And he loved me.

-

[Full transcript under the cut.]

-

WILL: I just love the beginnings of what you and Matt did and I wanna hear it from you. Because I think it's a great story.

SEAN: And by the way, I had no idea you guys grew up so close to each other. No idea.

BEN: Yeah, we did. First of all, it's a really lucky thing it occurs to me now—I saw him the other day and we're doing this movie together—very few people are lucky enough to spend their life in the same line of work with their best friend from when they were kids, manage to stay friends, not end up hating each other. Actually, be friends and love each other—

JASON: And not have one of them soar to the stratosphere and the other one be— have nothing ever happen.

BEN: That was brief.

JASON: No, but I'm saying like that's what usually happens. The fact that both you guys are superstars! So, in context, the reason we're asking this hacky question is because in Air—the film that we're talking about—Ben for the very very first time directs Matt.

WILL: I love it. It's full circle. I love it, I love it.

BEN: Yeah. I mean, it was something that seemed really normal and that I took for granted because there we were: we were kids who— he was a bigger kid, for a brief period. I was 8, he was 10, he was a big kid, he played baseball, he was really cool, he had a bowl cut—those little feathered ones that we all wanted, of course—and he— And he was, you know, nice to me. And we were both interested in the same things. Just kids who grew up two blocks apart and both wanted to be actors—for whatever reason it is that makes you wanna do that thing—and hung out and then we're in the same friend group and then sort of went off and did— "Oh, let's—" We're just like dumb enough to think, "It'll pan out for us! We'll just go be actors! We'll just go work!" And kind of believing in it. And then live together. But I think the reason why it wasn't a thing—that sort of "competition" thing that you talk about—is because we did a lot of auditioning very early on. For The Mickey Mouse Club, for example. I think maybe for some of Jason's early work.

JASON: [Ryan] Gosling got the Mickey Mouse job.

BEN: He did. We did a Corey Haim film called Soul Man, I remember we both auditioned for. We both auditioned for Robin in the Clooney [Batman] movie.

WILL: No way!

BEN: Yeah, we were extras together all the time. Matt did Mystic Pizza. He had a line in that, I didn't get it. And always the thing was, we would get our little act together, and practice our scenes, and do our workshop—I mean, "nerdy" doesn't even begin to describe it—but it really was a genuine thing, where we were like, "Look, I hope I get the part. But if I don't, I really hope you do." And for a while, we had this thing where we were like, "We'll just split all our money!" You know what I mean?

SEAN: You guys had high voices.

JASON: Did you really say that?

BEN: We really did and we really split the money.

JASON: No way!

BEN: We put it in a bank account. At the time, I—

WILL(?): What are you talking about? You shared the money?

BEN: Yes.

JASON: No way! How old were you?

BEN: Yes, I am. We had a joint bank account. I think I was 14, Matt was 16.

SEAN: Well, that's cool!

WILL: That's really awesome!

JASON: That's so cute!

BEN: Get money from the ATM and then like, "Okay, what do you wanna get?"

JASON: "I saw you made a big withdrawal last weekend."

WILL: Joking as much as you are, but it does show that on a certain level, there is a trust there. That you guys just trust each other implicitly. Right? On a very basic level.

BEN: I took for granted that he liked me, and rooted for me, and wanted me to succeed. We just didn't— We're lucky enough not to have the friendship of that whole "It's not enough that I succeed, all my friends have to fail" thing. And there are people I've wanted to fail! I can be just as petty and bitter as any other actor. But I loved him. And he loved me. And it felt like— We would work the scenes together. I think what made us sort of good writers and better actors is that we learned very early on to hear like, "I'm not sure that works, that choice," and you'd go, "Okay! Let's try something else!" And get our facts, our sides—

SEAN: Let's try a lower voice. Did you ever give that note?

BEN: That, I had to hit puberty.

SEAN: So wait, but when you say you grew up— you grew up together in Boston, right? But you were born and raised in California. Like what's the California bit?

BEN: I was born in California. My parents were teaching at an experimental school outside Berkeley, briefly. Actually my mom. And then I moved back to Boston around 2 or 3. I moved into Central Square in Cambridge, and then Matt moved there from Newton when I was 8 and he was 10. And that's when we met, at the at the basketball [game/court?].

[josephwoll]

bobby mc jesus is back! here he is talking about his injury and return

transcript under the cut

Q. do you think you'll be back playing tomorrow night?

uh hopefully, I feel good, feel ready to go, definitely took the time to feel better so hopefully

Q. what was is that led to the injury? was it something you've been dealing with or was it more of an acute circumstance?

yeah, it was more just like an isolated event. nothing i was dealing with. i think maybe just like some things transpired in the game where I guess I just didn't feel like, I guess when I hurt it initially I could think back to when maybe okay maybe I felt like a tweak or something but nothing that was like significant it just kind of went on me

Q. how difficult do you think it will be to get back in the lineup I mean compared to where your game was at when you went out?

um I feel like I haven't been out a ton of time and I've definitely been skating a good amount, like I didn't miss a lot of time off the ice. the game speed is always something that takes a bit of an adjustment but not being out that long, I don't think it'll be um too hard and I just trust that I'll rely on what works well for me

Q. what do you know of Fraser Minten?

uh he's good player he's obviously young but he plays a bit of an older game. he's poised and he makes smart plays and understands the game really well so I think he's he's doing really well

Q. what went through your mind last night when you saw Stolarz go down the way he did and leave the game?

yeah obviously you're just worried about him, hopefully it's not anything major, especially the way he's been playing, he's just been keeping us in games, winning us games, just been an absolute back stop back there so you never want to see that and you just hope that it's not long term

Q. Max getting back into the lineup, having the game he did, what sort of immediate impact did you see him make?

he's just a power forward, he gets the net, he's hard on pucks and plays really well around their net and making plays, plays to the guys he was with so he did a great job

Q. For a guy like him who early in his career was known as a real offensive guy, to embrace taking on a bit of a different role this year, playing physically he was talking about how he knows what his role is on the line, what does that say about him in terms of what he's willing to do for the good of the team?

yeah shows he's a good leader, shows he wants to win first and foremost and doing whatever it takes to be a contributor and fill holes on this team that maybe aren't there all the time so he's definitely doing a great job of bringing that presence and bringing that style of game

Q. what do you learn about Dennis Hildeby over the time in the organization?

he's a professional, right from when he came here, saw him with the marlies and he just takes every rep, everything to the maximum, even in practice, even after practice if we're just doing like shootouts and stuff he wants to keep every puck out of the net, so just a professional all the time

Q. when you're injured, obviously on a team with a number of injuries already, how do you balance that pressure to get back in the lineup whilst still doing what's best for you?

yeah I mean that's a good question actually because it's always hard, you want to get back right away but, that's the hardest thing to balance with injury, is trying to come back at the right time where you're not going to re-injure it and I think that's that's the point where you know okay you can feel confident you can push it maybe you still have a little bit of pain or maybe you're not feeling 100% but it's at the point where you're not going to re-injure it and then hurt the team anymore because if you're out again then you're just hurting the team again so just when you're feeling better

Q. as craig always says now, you're ready to go when you say you're ready to go, do put do your hand up at one point and say just give me an appearance [i have no idea what the reporter said here]

yeah it's not necessarily that you wake up one morning, it's always a progression and there's always metrics you want to hit with strength and speed and things like that and how you feel on the ice but yeah I guess there is a point where you're kind of like okay I'm ready do this like you feel it one day on the ice you're like oh I didn't feel it through that turn I didn't feel it through there and then you're ready to go

Q. what went through your mind when you got hurt?

just initially, there's always that frustration and then you're hoping that it's not anything too drastic and you're waiting for the the pain to go away a little bit and then kind of reassess so always a bit of frustration but it wasn't too bad

Q. sorry if you said before, i got here late, but what actually happened to you? what happened on the play or what ever?

I just over stretched on a stride and just felt it through my groin, i think I just overexerted on something

[ladyaislinn]

Rufus Sewell On Being An Actor - "Retain The Thing That Remains Unique"

What advice would you give to someone starting out? "The advice I suppose would be that we suffer I think as human beings anyway as taking on board other people's descriptions of the world around us without questioning you, and I think it's very good to be curious, and I think it's always good to re-examine not only the things about you but the things about the world, but the things about yourself, and I think in the end I learn a drama school by surrendering all my oddities that the one thing that I had was my oddities, and when I by the time found them and get in contact with them again I fought for the very strong, so I think the best thing you can do is retain what it is about yourself that makes you you because that in the end is all you have to work with don't give it away,

How did you get started in the industry? "I went to drama school - the main reason I wanted to get to drama school is because I didn't even know an actor, I didn't even meet one apart from Norman Bowler my mom did and that was very exiting, and I didn't know any actors, I didn't have an idea what you were supposed to do, so the great thing about drama school is it kind as well as three years of practice there was someone there to tell what to to next that's it who to audition for whatever , so that's how I got started and I only audition for drama school Christina Hurley lent me the money toward this because you have to pay to audition and that stops a lot of people in their tracks because it means a lot of middle class very well off kids get to audition there (...)

Rufus Sewell, Bafta Guru 2013 this is a transcript, mistakes possible!

“When I left drama school, my fear was that I’d get pigeon holed into comic acting and I did so much to counter it that I got stuck in the opposite.” RS

[beheadedcousins]

oh this is really great with answering a question i had

(transcript in the read more if you can't read the photo)

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Anyone who's asked me about TIGERS knows how quickly I can go from "It's a teen horror comedy!" to an in-depth discussion about the debiltating pressures put on young women to succeed. I always circle back to its teen horror nature, but I do take this show pretty seriously. After all, l experienced firsthand how challenging it is to be a teen girl. For me, it turned out to be quite difficult because I eventually realized ľm a trans guy, but that's an entirely different musical.

As much as TIGERS is murder mystery,it's also about nine young women who are at extremely formative places in their lives. They want to feel hopeful about the future but are afraid that their greatest weaknesses could become what define them, especially after a failed stunt goes viral. The show opens as the Tigers cheer team is gathering for their annual sleepover- but their attempts to appear effortless around each other are painstaking, and each gir is contending with her own secrets and challenges.

Riley, the new captain, is determined to stay positive. She's still working out how to be a strong leader, but she refuses to let her team down. Cairo prefers partying over responsibility and doesn't see the harm in having a little fun, though that often comes at the expense of others.Chess isstruggling to recover from a knee injury that ended her lifelong dream of being an Olympic gymnast and led to an addicton to painkillers. Kate tries to help Chess recover,but their relationship has become complicated as Chess prepares to go off to college and Kate realizes she's falling in love with her distracted, spiraling best friend.

Annleigh relies heavily on faith to guide her, but ends up overwhelmed by unexpected urges, especially when it comes to her boyfriend, Clark. Annleigh's stepsister Farrah no longer feels supported after the botched stunt put her in danger, and her habits have slipped from playful partying to a dependency on alcohol. Tigers mascot Reese has faced a long history of bullying by her classmates, but she's learning to believe in herself even when no one else will. Freshman Mattie is optimistic that she'll have a great year and has no idea how wrong she's about to be. Eva, a flyer from a rival school, is used to not getting what she knows she deserves, but still takes a chance on a new experience. Soon,one of these characters reaches a breaking point, and three Tigers don't make it through the night.

And that's the team: desperate to connect but terrified to communicate, just trying to get through a single sleepover/party/practice (in a social context) alive. I could get sentimental about how many years I've spent with this show and how much these characters mean to me,but l hope that speaks for itself.I hope the honesty and empathy that's gone into telling this story comes through as powerfully as the screlting (and there's a lot of screlting). I hope it's sometimes very funny and sometimes quite devastating, and that some of it stays with you for a while.

As you know, the sleepover has been a Giles Corey High School tradition for 38 years now. And I'm honored to carry that on here with all of you.

-PRESTON MAX ALLEN

[emrdocumentationsolutions]

How Hybrid Dictation Systems for Doctors Give Best of Both Worlds

Summary: Creating hybrid dictation systems for doctors to follow offers the best of both worlds: an easy way to update recurring patient info with a click of the button while allowing physicians to dictate longer, fuller notes when necessary.

Technology can be a double-edged sword. Often, when it improves one area of our lives, it can make another more difficult. Patient record management is a great example. For years, doctors simply dictated all their patient encounter notes and other documentation. That changed when electronic medical records, or EMRs, came along. EMRs are a great way to store and transfer data, but getting that information into the system in the first place isn’t always easy…

The Birth of Hybrid Dictation Systems for Doctors

The concept of medical dictation caught on very early with medical professionals. In fact, medical transcription dates back to at least 1,600 BC. It proved to be a useful multi-tasking tool, allowing the clinician to focus on the patient while someone else took on the chore of documenting the patient encounter.

EMRs changed the way physicians and clinicians managed documentation. The transition wasn’t so straightforward; for many, it certainly wasn’t smooth. Interfaces were counter-intuitive, tasks became repetitive, and systems seemed designed more for administrators than clinicians. This frustrating mix made documenting patient encounters more difficult and more time-consuming – the exact opposite of what they were intended to do.

This lack of user-friendliness for entering longer notes is part of the reason why doctors started creating hybrid dictation systems for themselves. The idea was to blend traditional dictation with direct EMR editing/updating.

The interesting thing is that some EMR updating is relatively easy. For example, clicking on checkboxes for yes/no answers is fast and straightforward. Where it gets difficult is when longer, fuller notes are necessary. These include in-depth observations, referral notes for specialists, and complex treatment plans. Not all doctors are born typists – hunting and pecking these notes seriously takes away from patient interaction. Even those comfortable with a keyboard notice the same issue of lack of face-to-face time with their patients.

A personalized hybrid dictation system for doctors provides the best of both worlds. He or she can quickly click the boxes directly in the EMR when it’s easy to do so and dictate notes for longer passages. This flexibility makes patient record management much faster, easier, and less stressful.

The Added Bonuses of Hybrid Dictation Systems

Hybrid dictation systems for doctors promote more patient interaction – including in ways you may not have thought of. Speaking your observations and treatment plans:

Reinforces the information for patients, leading to better compliance

Allows the patient to correct you if you have misinterpreted some information or remind you of something you forgot to add

Opens the floor to more discussions when your verbal notes trigger a question in the patient

Means you are less likely to miss important details

So not only do you improve the amount of time you’re spending face-to-face with your patient, the quality of your patient encounter improves, too.

You’ll also see improvements in other areas of your practice:

Less time updating patient records

Less (or no) overtime spent in the evenings and on the weekends with patient documentation

Less burnout that comes with documentation responsibilities

Better work/life balance

Better job fulfillment

Contact iMedat to Find Out How Easy Setting Up Your Hybrid Dictation System Can Be

Every physician and clinician is different, and each requires a different approach to EMR management. iMedat can help you create the hybrid dictation system that works best for you and your workflows. Contact us for a no-obligation introductory meeting, and we will show you how you can integrate dictation back into patient record management your way. Fill out our email form here or call 888-779-5888.

Blog is originally published at: https://imedat.com/hybrid-dictation-systems-doctors/

It is republished with the permission from the author.

[tripleatranscription]

Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Medical Transcription Company

Medical transcription, an essential aspect of any doctor's practice that involves the processing of dictations, involves converting the spoken words of doctors into written documentation. The patient, other medical professionals, and the insurance companies analysing the patient's claims will benefit greatly from a high-quality transcription, making it crucial for the doctor and the medical practice.

In What Ways Do You Need to Plan?

When choosing a medical transcribing service to meet your practice's needs, which features should you highlight? Some suggestions are provided below.

Long Term Experience

Hospitals and clinics must examine the providers' experience levels when selecting a company to provide medical transcribing services. Determine how long it has been since each company whose past you are researching was founded. Many people have started offering freelance medical transcribing services due to the high demand and good remuneration from hospitals and other medical facilities.

Online Critiques Can Be Found In

After establishing how long certain firms have been offering medical transcribing services, looking into what others say about those firms online is a smart next step. Evidence of previous happy customers can provide light on the company's background and demonstrate that they have provided competent medical transcription companies in Australia to a wide range of consumers. If, on the other hand, there is a far larger number of negative than favourable reviews for a given company, you may want to explore elsewhere.

Eligible for Transcription Services, Verified

Another crucial factor to consider is the experience and training of the people handling your transcriptions. The best transcriptionists understand they transcribe norms, medical jargon, and HIPAA rules and regulations.

As a result of their experience, they will be more equipped to spot small errors in the transcription, such as colloquialisms, slang, dialects, and other cultural idiosyncrasies.

Quality Assurance and Control

Whether or not your transcripts turn out accurately and attractively is ultimately dependent on the skills of the transcriptionist and the proofreader. While it's true that some transcribing services provide shockingly low rates, you should be aware that this could come at the expense of accuracy. The vast majority of transcription services will have no problem giving you a five to ten-minute sample of their work if you ask for one.

Advanced Machinery

Successfully satisfying consumer requirements requires a solid foundation in information technology. In an age where more and more medical facilities are adopting the software for electronic health records (EHR), a service provider from medical transcription companies in Australia that can provide EHR integration and the tools for physicians and employees to traverse the system to be able to track activities is an invaluable resource.

Help for Customers

The technical support staff should always be available, not only during regular business hours. Finding a solution to an issue shouldn't take days; it should be possible immediately. Time is sometimes wasted in healthcare facilities as staff members wait for answers to their questions.

Some Closing Remarks

Using a medical transcribing service can be a great way to save money, but only if doing so won't add to the amount of work you already have to do. A trustworthy provider of medical transcription services that can meet your needs in terms of cost, turnaround time, and document accuracy may be found by keeping the criteria mentioned above in mind.

[lookingforhappy]

no that makes sense! I think that's a cool hc!

Diego was also fighting to be no.1 in the original timeline, and Luther was automatically leader due to being no.1 so I think an element of being pitted against each other was being used in that timeline also.

There's a coupla lines in one of Reg's entries (posting a transcript soon) that notes that his intention wasn't to invoke a "feud" between 1 & 2 but it serves well to motivate Diego so he lets it happen. He also questions whether Luther is fit to be leader as he's the best follower of the group. Which to me also says he never intended to have the numbers be rankings, but to just serve as names for his experiments.

Which also fits with Klaus being named 4 at adoption, as reginald was just gathering subjects. If he wanted to rank them then he would adopt all that he could, then learn their powers and perhaps their personalities (eg Luther's a good follower, Diego's a hothead, etc) before ranking them. The names being rankings also lends itself better to them being changeable, like with the Sparrows, so perhaps in this timeline he did wait until he had adopted all 7 before numbering them?

Though I do agree that it seems more likely that Reginald was more focussed on Oblivion with the Sparrows than with the Umbrellas, and that he forced the Sparrows to be more distant with each other to prevent things like Ben's death, the academy splitting up and his plans getting ruined.

I don't know I feel like I'm talking in circles. I find the numbers a really confusing concept in practice because there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for why they work or don't. like Five scores above Luther multiple times but he's pretty low ranking, whereas Diego seems to score quite lowly (there's an entry in Reginald's book that has him score the lowest of the 6) but he's ranked at second.

Which all points to the Umbrella's numbers not relating to their abilities whatsoever, and this is kind of echoed in the Sparrows:

Sloane has an incredible understanding of her abilities, is a good instructor to the Brellies and the Sparrows, has a good relationship with everyone, has great emotional intelligence and a good understanding of tactics etc etc. yet she's only ranked at 5. Ben is ranked at 1 or 2 yet he's repeatedly shown to be a poor leader, who's selfish, a poor strategist, has no backbone, and very little emotional intelligence. He's also beaten in every single fight he's in and throws tantrums when he loses. None of which seem like high ranking qualities, especially when compared to Sloane.

Anyway, now I'm definately talking in circles. I agree with you that there is a difference between how the Umbrellas and Sparrows number systems work and it probably is because of Reginald's meeting with the Umbrella's in 1963.

hey so has anyone else talked bout how the numbers got fucked over because of s3?

S1 & s2 it's up to the audience to contemplate what the numbers mean or how they got them or if they could change numbers etc etc

but then S3 rolls around and we get proof that the numbers do mean something, and are rankings, and can switch bc Ben was originally no.1 and got demoted to no.2, making Marcus the leader.

but this fucks up a plot point in the same season - how did Klaus know that the receipt he found for the purchase of "small recruit no. 4" was about him?

if the numbers move around then its probable that the siblings had their numbers switched as babies, toddlers or even just young kids when their powers were discovered/documented by Reginald, and their personalities began to develop (capable of leading vs not, afraid of their powers vs not, etc). The kids probably wouldn't even know how many times their numbers were switched around. they couldn't keep track of who was named what at the time of their adoption, so Klaus finding that receipt didn't actually guarantee that he was able to find his mother, as it could be one of the other's mothers.

plus Reg had no way of knowing how many kids, or even which kids (with which powers), he was going to be able to adopt even if he did proposition every single one of the 43 mothers. so the only reasoning as to why baby no.4 had a number when it was adopted is that Reg was naming the kids in the order he adopted them eg no.1 = first baby adopted, no.2 = second baby adopted etc etc

ik ik the answer is probably Klaus didn't know/think or that it was so rare that only the sparrows experienced/realised it. but that doesn't explain why or how Reginald decided that Klaus was #4 when he adopted him, or why he didn't change the ranking later in life when they were more developed.

idk it feels like yet another plothole that S3 made and didn't bother expanding on.

cos like theres interesting implications of this number system, where it literally is a ranking that's allowed to change:

Five now canonically keeping his ranking as his name aka refusing to move up or down the ranking

Luther's entire identity and name being at risk/whim of his father

Diego being thought of as a more capable 2nd in command/leader than Allison (true)

Klaus being thought of as more valuable than Five or Ben

Ben not being bumped up to no.5 after his presumed death - he's outranked/blocked by a "dead" person

Viktor not being bumped up to no.5 or no.6 after Ben's death - he's outranked/blocked by a literal dead person

or if you think that the ranking is flipped, and Viktor/Chris was no.7 due to being the most powerful:

Ben being moved up the ranking after the Jennifer Incident

Ben being originally less powerful than Marcus (super strength)

Ben, Marcus and Luther all being given command despite being the least powerful/valuable

Diego, Ben and Fei battling their siblings for the right to be considered less powerful (without realising it)

idk it just feels like there was a lot to play with, emotionally if nothing else, that wasn't even touched on let alone explained

even if the Brellies didn't know that the numbers being malleable was a thing, having it be different with the Sparrows and having the Brellies realisation would've been an interesting exploration of their childhoods & current attitudes to their powers as well as a cool segway into showing how the Sparrows and the Brellies were raised differently

also... so many plotholes made exclusively by S3..

[myhoneststudyblr]

my masterpost | my studygram | ask me anything

[click images for high quality]

[transcript under the cut]

Other advice posts that may be of interest:

How To Study When You Really Don’t Want To

Active Revision Techniques

How To Do Uni Readings

How to Revise BIG Subjects

Common Study Mistakes

Do you have trouble staying focused?

Do you sometimes realise that your mind is wandering only 10 or 15 minutes after sitting down to work?

Do you often read the same page repeatedly without remembering any of it?

Try these strategies to monitor and improve your concentration.

Strategy #1: Take breaks

Humans aren't actually that great at working for really long periods of time and our brain needs rest. So it is really important to remember to take breaks.

When you begin to feel your mind wander and get tired, take a short break. If you know that your concentration span is short, try using the Pomodoro technique!  

The Pomodoro Technique:

Decide on the task to be done

Set a timer for 25 minutes

Work on the task until the timer ends

Take a short 5 minute break

Repeat 4 times and then take a longer 15-30 minute break

Ideas for Breaks:

Do some stretches

Get a snack or a drink

Go for a walk and get some fresh air

Watch an episode of your favourite show or a youtube video

Tidy your desk/room

Strategy #2: Plan your work to maximise concentration

If you have a long stretch of time to study, alternate studying for different courses. For example: if you have three hours to study, spend one hour on each of three different subjects. this way your mind gets variety!

If possible, alternate your study methods. For example: spend one hour reading, the next hour doing math problems and the final hour writing out some notes.

Do your most difficult tasks during *your* best time of day. Your body has natural highs and lows of energy concentration and motivation levels. Figure what these times are for you. Save shopping, housework or fitness activities for times when you're normally tired.

Strategy #3: Use study methods that enhance concentration

Absorbing large amounts of information for long stretches of time can be difficult. Try some of these effective study strategies to help maintain your concentration: 

Verbalise the information instead of reading silently to increase sensory input to the brain: read, write, recite

Teach the material to someone else. This helps you learn it  as well as helping you find weaker areas of understanding

When reading, use techniques such as SQ4R to help you keep focused and improve your retention of information

Make sure to use active revision techniques that will keep you engaged, such as practice questions and flashcards 

Strategy #4: Understand the Health-Concentration Connection

Your physical well-being can affect your concentration.  There can be lots of lifestyle things that are an unsuspected cause of concentration difficulties, such as:

Irregular sleep

(Lack of) Exercise

Eating patterns

Find a regimen that works for you and stick to it to help maintain your brain at its physiological peak.

Knowing how medications might affect your concentration is also important and needs to be taken into consideration when planning work.

Many mental health issues can also affect your concentration and most schools and universities offer various services to support you with this. It is important to make sure that you seek help when you need it.

Strategy #5: Deal with Physical Comfort

Writing Comfort: Your chair should be comfortable with good back support, but not so comfortable that it encourages napping. To help with posture, try raising your laptop/desktop so it is directly in your eye line. Try a keyboard tray to place your keyboard low enough that you don't need to raise your forearms to reach it (this helps avoid carpal tunnel syndrome).

Lighting: Proper lighting is essential to minimise eye strain and fatigue. Make sure you have good ambient lighting (general room lighting, like the ceiling light) because it is particularly hard on your eyes if you work in a dark room with only a desk light or the computer on. Try using a good desk lamp for reading or writing.

Temperature: The temperature should be warm enough that your hands and feet don't get cold, but not so warm that the room gets stuffy and you get sleepy. Layers can be good to control your body temperature as they are easy to get on and off, and will help regulate if you have unreliable heating. 

Strategy #6: Deal with distracting thoughts

There are lots of different ways that you can deal with distracting thoughts - find one that works for you. Here are two possible techniques:

Before: Mind Dump

Before a study session, set a timer for 5 minutes, take a pen and paper, and then write every thought that comes into your head - don't worry about it making sense or being neat. With an empty brain, you can focus on new things, instead of constantly dwelling on past things taking up valuable bandwidth

During: Designate a later time

Reduce the amount of time your mind spends wandering by designating a time to think about a problem. When you notice that you're not concentrating, say to yourself, "I'll think about that at 4 o'clock." Then, at 4 o'clock or whatever time you choose, sit down and think through whatever is bothering you.

Strategy #7: Refocus with the checkmark technique

Keep a piece of paper beside you as you're studying. Whenever you notice that your mind has wandered, put a checkmark on the paper and get back to work.

Making the checkmark is a simple way to help you refocus on your task because the mere act of doing this reminds you to get back to work.

Reviewing the checkmarks can help you determine the time of day when you concentrate the best and show you whether your concentration is improving.

Students report that when they first try this system, they accumulated as many as twenty checkmarks per textbook page. After a couple of weeks, they were down to one or two checkmarks per page. It's therefore a great way to train your brain and see a difference.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The S&L crisis perfected finance crime

When the Great Financial Crisis hit, suddenly there was a lot of talk about the Savings & Loan crises of the 1980s and 90s. I was barely a larvum then, and all I knew about S&Ls I learned from half-understood dialog in comics like Dykes to Watch Out For and Bloom County.

As the GFC shattered the lives of millions, I turned to books like Michael W. Hudson’s THE MONSTER to understand what was going on, and learned that the very same criminals who masterminded the S&L crisis were behind the GFC gigafraud:

https://memex.craphound.com/2011/03/07/the-monster-the-fraud-and-depraved-indifference-that-caused-the-subprime-meltdown/

Hudson’s work forever changed my views of Orange County, CA, a region I knew primarily through Kim Stanley Robinson’s magesterial utopian novel PACIFIC EDGE, not as the white-hot center of the global financial crime pandemic.

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/01/15/pacific-edge-the-most-uplifting-novel-in-my-library/

That realization resurfaced today as I read the transcript of UMKC Law and Econ prof Bill Black’s interview with Paul Jay on The Analysis, when Black says, “Orange County is the financial fraud capital of the world, not America, the world.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFH5-5D5_Lc

Black is well-poised to tell the tale of the S&L crisis. He served as a bank regulator during the crisis, and his notes on the “Keating 5” meeting were the turning point for public and Congressional attention to the crime:

https://theanalysis.news/economy/the-best-way-to-rob-a-bank-is-to-own-one-bill-black-pt-1/

In 1998, he finished a criminology doctorate at UC Irvine (in Orange County!) on the S&L frauds, entitled “The Best Way to Rob a Bank is to Own One,” a title he used for his 2005 book (updated in 2013) on the scandal:

https://utpress.utexas.edu/books/blab2p

The S&L crisis shares a lot in common with today’s financial crimes, but it had one key difference: ultimately (with Black’s help), more than 30,000 criminal referrals were made against the bankers involved in the crisis, and more than 1,000 were convicted of felonies.

The story of the S&L crisis is both a roadmap for holding finance criminals to account (a roadmap we threw away and forgot about) and a roadmap for committing gross acts of financial crime with impunity (which the finance sector studied carefully and keeps close its heart).

Black calls finance a “crimogenic environment,” in where deregulated institutions become pathogenic, “like a cesspool that produces lots of bacteria and viruses and such and causes lots of infections.”

The S&L crisis began with the Carter-Ronald deregulatory blitz. Both presidents assumed that because S&Ls (a kind of bank) in California and Texas were doing really well after deregulation, that meant CA and TX had nailed it and their example could be expanded nationwide.

In reality, the rosiness of the California and Texas S&Ls’ books was the result of “control fraud,” when a person who controls the bank is stealing from it.

Black likens this to a homeowner who commits insurance fraud — an ultimate insider, who knows the code to de-activate the alarm system and also knows just where the most valuable items are kept.

The major control fraudster of the S&L crisis was Charles Keating, a “top 100 granter” who was among the 100 highest donors to Reagan and Bush I. Keating has stolen a vast fortune from Lincoln Savings, and he was able to trade some of that loot for political cover.

Keating hired Alan Greenspan (!) to lobby for him, and Greenspan suborned five senators (the “Keating Five”) who threatened regulators with dire consequences if they didn’t stop digging into S&Ls.

This was also a priority for Reagan, whose plan for vast tax-cuts for the wealthy might stumble if it the public found out that the US government needed billions to bail out these walking-dead fraud zombies.

Reagan turned to Ed Gray, a PR guy, to run the S&L operation. Gray was hand-picked by the S&L’s trade association, and they told him flat out that he was there to make S&Ls look good — not to blow them up by investigating their balance-sheets.

The problem is that Gray — who was a hardcore Reaganite partisan and deregulation true believer — was honest, and the fraud was so obvious. The Texas S&Ls were originating fraudulent loans to build housing tracts that didn’t exist.

When Gray went out to look at these building sites, he just found endless rows of desolate concrete pads — he called them “Martian landing pads” — and abandoned ruins. These were the collateral on billions in loans!

Gray is a believer in sound finance, and this is undeniable evidence that deregulation has led to catastrophically unsound practices, so he starts imposing regulation on the S&L sector.

Keating pulls strings to sideline Gray, but Gray keeps pushing. Keating gets the leadership of both parties in the House to sponsor legislation ordering him to stop. He keeps going.

Donald Regan — an ex-Marine who went from CEO of Merrill Lynch to Reagan’s Chief of Staff — leans hard on Gray, but Gray won’t stop.

The Office of Management and Budget swears out a criminal complaint against Black for closing too many S&Ls. He won’t stop.

They go after Gray’s guy in Texas, Joe Selby, a former acting Comptroller of the Currency with impeccable credentials, demanding that Gray fire Selby. Democratic Speaker Jim Wright says Selby should be fired because he’s gay. Gray won’t budge.

Homophobia turns out to be a powerful weapon for criminal impunity. Keating sued Black and the Federal Home Loan Bank of San Francisco, claiming the bank’s gay employees had conspired against Keating because Keating was an evangelical Christian.

Gray took finance crime seriously. He had two priorities: one, eject anyone committing fraud from working at any financial institution, and; two, criminally and civilly charge those former execs and take back all the money they stole and ruin them financially.

Black and colleagues took this to heart, making thousands of criminal referrals. When law enforcement refused to act on these, they started publishing their referrals, and newspapers published stories about how none of these criminal referrals were leading to prosecutions.

Gray eventually gets sidelined by a “team player,” the disgraceful Danny Wall, who studiously ignores all the crime that has been uncovered. But then Bush I replaces him with Tim Ryan, whose marching orders are to root out finance crime.

Ryan ultimately made over 30,000 criminal referrals over the S&L scandal, and brought prosecutions against elite criminals, including Neil Bush, the son of the President of the United States of America.

Black: “Tim Ryan sacrificed his career for the public knowingly…he’s been unemployable since.”

And as for Bush I, his first major legislative priority became the removal of financial crime from the jurisdiction of independent watchdogs, so this would never happen again.

This is as far as the interview gets (it’s part one of nine!), but it’s already answering some of the most important questions the Great Financial Crisis raised, like, “Why didn’t any of the bankers who stole trillions from the world go to jail?”

Image: Dykes to Watch Out For strip #90 (1990), “The Solution,” Alison Bechdel https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3908728&userid=99998&perpage=40&pagenumber=10

[honeypirate]

In Madness lies Sanity

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader - College AU

Based off the bit by Allan Watts. I read the transcript and I thought— Ushijima in love with his best friend listening to this talk about love in one of his classes and realizing that he needs to tell them the truth. Allan watts bit is in blue, the fic is in white.

Ushijima wasn’t one to dwell too long on trivial matters. He works through them and then forgets them. He focuses on what is important and what will bring him closer to his desired future. He isn’t one who is sucked into madness and drama, he has a strong level head and it’s something he takes pride in. So he’s trying to apply his ideas to how he handles his feelings for you, is it trivial? Is it important to tell you? He was struggling before he walked into class Monday morning and had his eyes opened by the video played during lecture.

- I’m going to talk to you about a particularly virulent and dangerous form of divine madness which is called falling in love. Which is, from a practical point of view, one of the most insane things you can do, or that can happen to you. Because in the eyes of a given woman or a given man, an opposite who go to the eyes of everybody else a perfectly plain and ordinary person can appear to be God or Goddess incarnate .... And this is an extraordinary disruptive experience a subversive experience in the conduct of human affairs

You were never a plain and ordinary person to him and he believes that’s where it got confused. He always has and always will see you as an extraordinary individual, regardless of things that may be seen as flaws or imperfections, regardless of your mistakes. You didn’t transform from one thing to the next, you were the same angel he knew, so when his heart flipped from friendship to love, he wasn’t paying attention.

- Because you never know when it will strike off for what reason. It’s something like contracting a very chronic disease once you get into it

If anyone asked Ushijima who his best friend is his first thought is you. His first thought thought is always you. His constant. His true best friend who is there for him through anything. He’ll open his mouth and say “y/n is my best friend” and when people would point out just how close they are he just shrugged, weren’t friends supposed to be close?

When he thinks back now, now that his feelings are obvious, he realizes that it was just a matter of time until he fell in love with you. He can pinpoint every moment along his life where love was obvious, every joke and hug that at the time he thought was just nice, when he loaned you his sweatshirt and then didn’t wash it because it smelled like you. When he would spend all his valuable and limited free time with you just because he liked the way you would smile as he walked you home. He thinks back to all of his dates in high school and college, of the dating app conversations he’s had or blind dates his friends had set up, and they all failed because of one simple reason- none of them were you.

- I would like to make some reflections on this particular form of madness, and to raise again a very disturbing question. And this disturbing question is as follows: Is it only when you are in love with another person that you see them as they really are? And in the ordinary way, when you are not in love with people you see only a fragmented version of that being.

He’s spent hours turned to days to weeks as he keeps thinking about whether or not he loves you or if he just thinks he could because of how close you already are. He’s lost track of time connecting different dots and making different lists and theories, replaying you’re entire friendship back in his head. He’s thought about the times he saw you drunk in college and puking on his shoes as he helps you home, when you decided you wanted to try and longboard and turfed it so bad your arm was gashed from wrist to elbow and he had carried you to the urgent care. all your reckless and crazy ideas you dragged him along with, you were almost as bad as tendou but he just wanted to take care of you as best as he could. He can feel the desire in his bones to make sure you were always taken care of, a feeling he knows he’ll have until he dies.

He thinks about when you had dated Oikawa and for the entire three months he had an ulcer but didn’t know why. He thought it was because of his pain relievers and quit them the week you broke up with him, not realizing the connection. When he’d get acid in his throat when you talked about dating someone else, he thought he just needed some milk. How blind he had been.

-Because when you are in love with someone you do indeed see them as a divine being. And suppose that’s what they are truly. And your eyes have by your beloved been opened in which case your beloved is serving to you as a kind of guru. An initiator. And that is why there is a form of sexual yoga, based on the idea that man and woman are to each other as mutual guru and student. And through a tremendous outpouring of psychic energy in total devotion and worship to this other person who is respectively the goddess of the god.

Being someone’s best and closest friend consisted of seeing their entirety and choosing to stay and love them anyway. To care for them. He can’t say for certain where he crossed over into love, into wanting to hug you and kiss you, wanting to be the only one you think about, but there’s not much he can do about it now and he doesn’t want to.

Ushijima sees you. He sees your good and your bad and everything in between, he sees you for you. Your ordinary mundane ways of life that he can’t help but want to share with you. Grocery shopping, library trips, post office runs, he wants them all to be done with you. He truly cannot imagine anyone else taking that spot in his heart.

Wanting to show you what he sees. What he knows to be true about you. he wants to scream from the rooftops how amazing you are and he’s not a very loud person. He sees the way you care for your friends selflessly and give and give all you have just so that others can be happy and you never complain. You do what you can when you can and still have time to take care of yourself he never knew how you did it so effortlessly, even when you’d vent to him you never regretted helping others.

He sees the way you lift up those around you. How you leave everyone a little more positive than before you talked to them. He doesn’t know how you do it. He’s convinced you’re an angel and he’s dying to show you just how amazing he knows you are. But he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship. He sees your entirety, your full book instead of just the cover, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He wanted to give you this energy and receive it in turn and he’s never been so absolutely terrified.

-You realize by total fusion and contact with the other organism. You go down to the divine center in them and it bounces back and you discover your own or you could put it in this way which is another aspect of it that by falling in love and regarding falling in love not just as a sort of sexual infatuation, because it’s always more than that, isn’t it. I mean you can have a great sexual enjoyment with a pleasant friend, you know. But you may do so simply because he or she appeals to your aesthetic senses. But when you fall in love, it’s a much more serious involvement, you just cannot forget this person. You feel miserable when not in their presence, you’re always yearning, that’s get to see more of each other let’s get together that’s we’re completely entangled and then you see you’ve actually kind of out what I would call spiritual element has been introduced. And the Hindus were sensible enough to realize that this was a means of awakening, enlightenment, and therefore it was. Surrounded. With a sort of rigid religious ritual meditative art, with a form of sexual yoga that is designed to allow the feeling of mutual love to the extent of grand passion to have an extremely fitting fulfillment and expression.

Ushijima has always thought you were beautiful. Any human with eyes would think that. But your beauty and attraction went far deeper than that. Sure he’s had fleeting thoughts about how good you looked in a dress but he never let them linger. It felt wrong to think of you like that. But now that he’s an adult, a grown man and not a teenager anymore, he wants to kiss you, to hold your hand, maybe more but it wasn’t about that. It was about the intimacy, the closeness, the vulnerability.

Awakening. Enlightenment. Two words that before he didn’t really think about. But now he feels changed. Now that he’s realized how much he loves you has lifted his spirits, made him dream of the passion and happiness you could have together. He feels himself slipping into the joy of being in love with his best friend and imagining all the ways that love could grow. He feels only half of himself when he’s without you, always needing to see you or be around you, but you never made him feel clingy or bad. You met him in kind, telling him how much you wanted to be around him too.

At first he thought that this love was a trivial thing, something he could push from his mind, but after his weeks of thought he knows this is a lot more serious than he’s experienced before.

-Falling in love is a thing that strikes like lightning and is therefore extremely analogous to the mystical vision. We don’t know. No how really people attain the mystical vision. There is not as yet a very clear rationale as to how it happens because we do know that it is opened to many people who never did anything to look for it. And many people especially in adolescence have had the mystical vision all of a sudden without the slightest warning and with no previous interest in that kind of thing

He remembers what he was doing when it dawned on him that he was in love, when he felt the air leave his lungs and his eyes widen softly when he realized how nice it would be to kiss your temple and he couldn’t even finish the thought as the feeling ran from his head to his toes.

He was standing in your kitchen as you finished making your lunch for the following day and you made a joke that made yourself laugh, he didn’t think it was a very funny joke but you didn’t care. You giggled to yourself and he couldn’t help but wish he could witness that forever. It hit him like a brick that he would, in almost an instant, give his entirety to you. It terrified him when he imagines you and him ending like his parents. But behind the terror, the fear of divorce, was a softer and quieter emotion that he tried to focus on harder than the insanity of his anxiety. A softer, lovelier, hopeful feeling that he usually gets every time you smile at him. That was the feeling he was searching for, everything else was irrelevant for a few glorious moments.

-But as yet we are not clear as to why it comes about and if there is any method of attaining it the best one is probably to give up the whole idea of getting it…. you see it is completely unpredictable and so it is in that way like falling in love, capricious and therefore crazy. But if you should be so fortunate as to encounter either of these experiences. It seems to me to be a total denial of life to refuse it. And what we therefore have to. Admit in our society is so that we can contain this kind of madness.

He called Tendou that evening, telling him that he thinks he loves you, and Tendou about had a conniption. He was in Paris as his best friend fell in love for the first time. He talked him through it, told him how good it can be. That yes it was going to be work but the reward would be worth it. To not sell himself short out of his own fears. He deserves much more than that. Tendou’s last phrase is what sunk in deep “I know it was unpredictable, that it feels so fickle, but that’s what love is like buddy! You can’t deny it Ushi, you can’t run from it or hide from it, it will only hurt you in the long run”

- You see, in this way we can think about and structure the necessary stable social institution of family sometime without it being constantly threatened of foundering on the rocks of love. Now you see this then means that when when people marry they take any vows at all to each other instead of saying that they will always be true to each other in the sense of meaning I Will Always Love YoU, It means I will be true to you in the sense of I will always be truthful to. I will not pretend that my feelings towards you ARE other than what they are. Because I marry you, because I think that you are a reasonable person to live with and therefore I want you to be you I want you to be someone else I want to be a rubber stamp of me–how boring that would be?! an arrangement in which people set each other free and make an alliance to cooperate with each other in certain ways. Now if it should so occur that they are of immense sexual attraction to each other, so much the better? That this should not be a primary factor in entering into marriage. Admittedly, you must be to a certain extent attractive to each other otherwise there will be no progeny. But this is this is seems to me to be a sensible and reasonable view and just because it is sensible and reasonable it can accommodate what is not sensible and reasonable which is falling in love.

Ushijima is terrified. He’s terrified because the instant immediate joy he felt when he realized he loved you was almost overtaken by worries and stress. He loves you! Now what? He loves structure in his life and he values stability but he knows how rocky relationships can be and how they can ultimately end. He knows he won’t deny it, he won’t back away because of his fear but he needs a plan. A plan to take to you and talk about it, he knows you’ll have the right thing to say but he doesn’t even know what he’ll even say to you yet. He loves that you are so carefree and goofy, a breath of fresh air to his stoicism. You’ve even gently worked your way so deep into his soul that you feel like his other half, his complete other in every way, someone who wasn’t like him at all and how wonderful that is.

Once in his life he thought that arranged marriages were smarter, you did it out of logic and bloodline and family, nothing messy to deal with. But that structure, that boring empty rocky foundation that an arrangement might bring made his mouth taste bad, although at the time he convinced himself it was because it would be more like another job that takes up his time (away from you)

Sensible and reasonable was right up his alley, he thought how nice it would be to have a mini him but he couldn’t think about having that with anyone. He couldn’t think of another half of dna that baby would share that would make it worth it. Not until he saw a picture of you holding your nephew, now whenever he thinks of his babies they share your genes. He thinks of a chunky baby with your eyes and his hair color, a mix of your personality and he’d share volleyball with them. He’s never wanted kids as much as he does when he thinks about sharing them with you. And that’s the part that feels senseless, the love part, the part where you give your entirety to someone and trust that they will care and keep you, no matter what happens, save its not infidelity or other deal breakers of yours he already knows.

Ushijima’s theorizing and thoughts about you over the course of time went from being about understanding why he feels like this to imagining fake scenarios where he wants to take you abroad to travel together, to be together every day and share the hard times and good times, babies or not, marriage or not. He just wants to make you happy for the rest of his life no matter what and he can’t go on much longer without knowing he has a chance to do so

- Well now really when we go back then to falling in love. And say it’s crazy falling. You see we don’t say rising into love. There is in it the idea of the fall. And it is goes back as a matter of fact two extremely fundamental things that there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk, is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble

And so here he was. Sitting on a bench outside of your dorm, feet bouncing as he stared at the small patch of grass growing in between the sidewalk crack. It’s been a while since that class and he’s been thinking about this constantly.

He knows the risk, feels it in his heart every time he meets up separately with his parents since their divorce. He sees it every time he remembers his childhood and the messy separation. That mess he never wants to repeat. The fall that comes with this love is like that class video had told him, ghastly. He doesn’t know if this could ruin it all, if he takes the leap of faith and it all comes crumbling down years later he’ll be just another divorce. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to end up like his parents and have a child who feels the same. But when he imagines his life he doesn’t think he could be haply without you by his side.

- the moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith, because you don’t really know that the floors not going to give in to your feet. The moment you take a journey what an act of faith. The moment you enter into any kind of human undertaking in relationship what an act of faith you see you’ve given yourself up. But this is the most powerful thing that can be done surrender see and love is an act of surrender to another person. Total abandonment. I give myself to you. Take me, do anything you like with me. So, that’s quite mad because you see it’s letting things get out of control all sensible people keep things in control.

You know something is up the moment you open the doors and see his back on the bench. You were going to his place since he wasn’t answering his phone, you freeze at the doors at watch him for a moment as your anxiety spikes in your stomach. His shoulders are tense as he leans forward, elbows on his thighs and hands clasped together as he looks down between his bouncing feet. Before you really think about it, you follow the urge to comfort him, to talk to him and make sure it’s all okay. Your feet carry you quickly to his side and you sit down, pulling him into a side hug and wrapping your arms around him.

He gasps when you sit and as you’re wrapping your arms around him he furrows his brows and hugs you back. His heart racing As his fears take the back burner. He didn’t expect you to find him but he also didn’t know how long he’s been sitting here. He buries his face into your neck as he you hold each other in the cool spring evening.

“What’s wrong?” You ask as you hold him and feels his walls break down, his arms tighten around you

“I’m scared” he says quietly and his voice cracks

“Of what Toshi? You can always talk to me” Your fingers run through his hair softly and it soothes his nerves.

He pulls back and cups your cheeks, his eyebrows were still furrowed and his stoic expression was broken by his eyes that were swimming with worry and insecurity.

You saw everything in his eyes and you met him with your determination and steady unwavering love he finds in your eyes. God he feels so mad. So incredibly and undeniably mad and insane and like he isn’t in control. He needs to tell you. Needs the words to come out of his throat so he can calm his heart and soothe his ulcer. The anxiety felt like it was immeasurable and his breathing was starting to get faster until you placed your hands on his cheeks, smothering the bad feelings completely “it’s okay Wakatoshi, I’m right here”

Ushijima feels the exact moment his heart relaxes into the faith, the surrender into love trusting that the floor isn’t going to collapse under his feet, the moment he gives his whole self, body and soul, to the fall, and that moment was when your lips touched his for the first time. Then he let go, the madness left his body and was replaced with a calm assurance that yes, yes this was it, what he’s been waiting for, what he’s been yearning for.

- for all the cost and wisdom what is really sensible is to let go that is to commit oneself to give oneself up and that’s quite mad,

-so we come to the strange conclusion that in madness lies sanity.

[superlinguo]

Practical advice if you want to start a podcast

I wrote a post for the RED team at La Trobe with some general advice for podcasting, but I’ve found there are some recurring questions that I get about setting up a podcast. This post is here to answer those questions.

If you’re not interested in starting a podcast, but want to listen to more linguistics podcasts, I’ve got a list for you!

I last updated this post in June 2021 - if you find this post a few years after this you might want to search for some more up to date specs. I’ll continue to update this from time to time as new questions (or answers) come up.

Picture your audience

Before you make any decisions about your show, know who it is for. Your topic might be incredibly niche and have an audience in the hundreds, which is very different to a potentially larger but less engaged audience. See the classic blog post from Kevin Kelly on the power of 1000 true fans. Knowing your potential audience, where they hang out online, and how they’re likely to support you, will help your decision making. I have a self-guided slide set for refining your project before you start working on it. It’s also ok to know who you don’t want as your audience, and make choices that don’t actively include them. Do this early and clearly so people aren’t disappointed. For example, having a show with clearly noted explicit language selects away from young kids and their parents.

The length and format of your show are a product of your aims

I personally like shows in the 25-35 minute range. But, having said that, I love Shortwave, which regularly clocks in at 10 minutes, and I’m disappointed when an episode of You’re Wrong About is less than an hour.

Know your audience and the level of depth you want to explore a topic in. The frequency of episodes and the amount of time you have to prepare and edit will also affect how long episode end up. Record a few episodes first and share them with people you trust will give you good feedback.

The best interviews are conversations

Good interviews are just conversations that are intentionally lopsided, and good interviewers make the conversation feel like it’s not lopsided. Do your homework, write out some questions, and then take a step back and actually listen to the person you’re interviewing.

Anyone who has done even a few interviews has already faced most of the questions you first think of. There are some fixes for this: push through your initial brainstorming, think about the specific angles on their topic that are most relevant to your audience and (again) listen to what the person is telling you. Like many podcasting skills, good interviewing takes practice, and you can practice by staying curious about humans you interact with in any area of your life, not just your podcast guests.

Use the best mics you can, but don’t over-invest

You don’t have go and buy the fanciest tech. If you have access to a studio, great! If you don’t, then decide what your budget is. When we started Lingthusiasm, Gretchen recorded into her phone, because we were running the show on no budget and had no idea if we’d stick it out more than 6 months. When we started making money we got Gretchen a Zoom H4n to match mine. It’s still not the fanciest, but it’s rugged and adequate, especially if you make sure you’re in a closet with some blankets. Do I regret the earlier episodes of Lingthusiasm don’t sound amazing? Not as much as I would have regretted investing hundreds of dollars in a podcast that had 4 episodes.

Edit your show

Even a light edit will make the show easier for your audience to listen to, and show respect for the people you interview. I know people believe there’s an aesthetic of authenticity that comes with not editing, but all podcasting is a performance. Editing is a politeness to your audience.

Editing means a very wide range of things. You can do full production editing, including the addition of music, multiple different voice-overs and voices reading parts (e.g. getting someone else to read author quotes to bring them to life) and additional sound effects. Or you might just edit out the start and end of the recording, and any false starts and errors throughout the show. A lot of the pauses and fillers we use in conversation are designed for an audience who is in on the conversation and can reply, and can feel like they’re holding up a conversation when you’re a passive listener like a podcast audience. Many of the best conversational podcasts are given an edit to make them easier on the ears.

I use audacity to edit

Audacity is free to use. It takes a little longer to learn than something like GarageBand, but once you know how to use it, you’ll be much faster at editing. I appreciate that it has stayed pretty much the same since I started using it almost 15 years ago.

Get your levels right

Once you’ve edited your show, making sure there aren’t too many loud laughs, or your two hosts aren’t unbalanced in loudness. You’ll also need to make sure your podcast isn’t too loud or soft compared to others in people’s list. You need to regularise it. A lot of podcasts regularise to -16 LUFS. A few other numbers bounce around (-14, -18), but this is what we use and no one complains.  Audacity can’t do it. You can process a certain number of hours of audio for free each month using the web-based Auphonic. It’s great. 

There’s lots of great free music to use

You want to look for music that has a license that’s free to use. Even if you don’t plan to make money from your podcast, make sure the license includes commercial use so you don’t limit your future options. SoundCloud and YouTube have lots of options, as does Kevin MacLeod - who has created royalty-free music in a massive range of genres. 

Web hosting is different to getting your show on iTunes

We use SoundCloud to upload and share our audio. It’s fine. I have no complaints. Once you’ve uploaded a few hours of audio you’ll have to pay annually for a pro account. Anchor seems to be a good new competitor, it’s free - I assume they make money off people choosing to run ads on their podcasts. You then generate an RSS feed, which is the thing that points all the podcast players to the place you’ve uploaded your recording. You’ll then have to add your show to major podcast platforms (Apple Podcast, Google Podcast), smaller ones will pick it up from there.

It takes a few days for your show to get picked up on all the podfeeders

Launching a podcast is a bit of a mess - it will go live on your hosting site but then you’ll have to set yourself up with iTunes, Google Podcast etc. and that can take a few days to update and populate. The sites that are popular, and the process of linking into those spaces, changes often enough that you should just google advice when you’re ready to launch, and give yourself a few days. This is part of why some podcasts launch a short ‘episode 0′ or a trailer, it gets the show set up.

Transcripts should be one of the first things you fund

Not every podcast has the time or funds to make transcripts. I do think they’re important though; for people who can’t or don’t want to listen, for discoverability and for your own record when you can’t remember when you talked about a specific story. If you have any time or money and want to be taken seriously at all, this should be one of your earliest priorities. This is even more true for educational podcasts, where a transcript ensures all students can appreciate the content of your show.

You don’t neeeeed a website, but it’s handy

You can run a show using a hosting platform and some social media. Having a website does allow you to add more information about the show and yourself. The Lingthusiasm page has grown over the years as the show has; we made a page for our liveshow events, we provide a list of episodes by topic, information about our Discord community, and our marvelous wall of supporters. The website was much more minimal when we started, but compared to just having a SoundCloud it gave the show room to grow.

You probably want socials, but be selective

You need to make your podcast discoverable by people who are likely to be your audience. Social media is one way to do this, but it’s better to be actually engaging on fewer social platforms than overextend yourself. Focus on platforms that are the intersection of where your possible fans are likely to be and where you enjoy being.

Funding a podcast takes time, and takes work

There are three main revenue streams for podcasts: advertising, crowdfunding and merch. A fourth option is institutional support (through your university or business), but then you’re beholden to the funder. Whichever revenue options work for you, think about them and plan towards them early. Part of that is making sure your podcast gets in as many ears as possible. Most successful podcasts spend as much, if not more, time on marketing, audience engagement and business planning as they do podcasting (it’s just not very glamorous to admit that!).

Choose whether each episode can stand alone

Some podcasts build a narrative over multiple episodes. Others allow listeners to jump in at any point and listen in any order. Whatever you choose, make this clear to your audience. This choice is going to influence a range of choices around what information to include in the opening and closing, how topical to make the show, and how you promote your podcast. 

Seasons are a great structure to keep a podcast manageable

Regardless of whether your show runs in a sequence, planning a season with a fixed number of episodes allows you to take some time off, to maybe change some things that weren’t working, or to step away from the project with a podcast that hasn’t been left hanging.

[alpacaparkaseok]

The Other Side

Part One

Genre: KSJ Soulmate au

Warnings: none

Word Count: 8.7k

What is tachycardia?

Tachycardia: abnormally high heart rate

Causes: exercise, stress, anxiety, fear, anger, or love

Ventricular tachycardia: may be life threatening; please see: “soulmate”

Since I could begin to retain information around the age of four, I have been taught one thing over and over again.

Soulmates = mortal danger.

Granted, I wasn't the only one who was taught this. I wasn’t raised in some strange cult or taught that love was discouraged.

No, actually. It’s just a part of life.

Soulmates are commonplace, my own parents being an example of that. The world we live in is riddled with beautiful contradictions, one of the most prominent of all those lovely contradictions being the existence of soulmates.

There is no fancy system put into place, no timer or thread of fate that ties us together. There’s really no way of knowing who or when or where you’ll meet the person that is supposed to complete you and bring joy to your life.

I’m sure there’s some sort of way that fate decides when, seeing as the majority of people meet at a fairly young age. The number of soulmates that meet over the age of fifty are few; although it’s been known to happen a couple of times among senior citizens placed into nursing homes.

Soulmates are the sole reason that most children can pronounce the word “tachycardia” before they reach the age of seven.

Tachycardia typically isn’t fatal, it’s something people tend to experience quite often when the circumstances change. Out on a run? You’re probably experiencing tachycardia. Terrified that there’s a burglar in the house? Yep, tachycardia coming right up.

Have you just stumbled across your soulmate for the first time? Tachycardia in its most extreme form will hit you like a brick wall in just a second.

“Who can tell me what the first response you should have when you see that someone has made contact with their soulmate?”

A flurry of hands fly up to the sky, my own included. The steps are rushing around in my brain, just begging to be let out.

“Haneul?” I’m called on and fight a smile as I answer my instructor’s question.

“First, move one of them to a separate room. Place a door between them if possible, and then call 911 if there are no soulmate assistants available.”

My instructor nods, smiling warmly at me. “Exactly. Now can somebody go through the calming exercises step by step…”

Somebody nudges my side, and I turn to see my friend and fellow applicant, Yuri, smiling at me.

“You’re totally getting in,” she whispers to me.

I roll my eyes. “Just because I answered one question right?”

“He remembered your name...that definitely means something.”

Turning my attention back to the front before we’re caught whispering, I entertain the idea before kicking it out. It’s best to not think about it too much, I can’t look like I’m bored or not paying attention. This is too important a day to give a bad impression. The sigil on the instructor’s shirt only serves as a reminder.

The Bighit entertainment logo stands out like a beacon as the instructor moves about, calling up a couple of applicants to demonstrate how to properly restrain someone without hurting them.

His movements call attention to the yellow circle below the Bighit logo, the color that marks him as a ‘soulmate assistant’. Basically just a fancy word for someone who has to make sure if an idol accidentally meets a soulmate at a concert or any other event, nobody dies.

Everyone goes home happy. Alive, and newly bonded.

And if I get this job, that means I’ll go home happy and paid. That’s all I could ever want, isn’t it?

If we’re being completely honest, being hired on as a professional soulmate assistant for Bighit or any other big agency would be a dream come true for someone like me. I would get to travel, meet new people, all the while receiving a steady paycheck while attending concerts for free.

Sure, it’s a tough job. It requires constant vigilance; a single yawn at the wrong time could mean disaster. Which is part of the reason why my parents thought I was a bit crazy wanting to go into such a profession. They backed off a little once I showed them what kind of money I’d be in for, though.

All of it has led to this moment: going through one final walkthrough before we’re called in for individual interviews and eventually left to leave things up to fate. It’s a pretty big deal to have even made it this far. The actual interview process with the soulmate board of Bighit entertainment is rigorous, eventually leading to a one on one interview with one of the managers of either TXT or BTS.

Our group that started off with just over 200 applicants has been filed down to ten. Tensions are high, Yuri’s near constant fidgeting is a sure sign of that.

Ten remain, but only two will be hired on. One for BTS, and one for TXT.

Not gonna lie, I’m hoping I’m getting interviewed for TXT. I have a hunch that Yeonjun, Beomgyu and I would get along great.

Not that I’m picking favorites.

Our small overview comes to an end, the instructor getting to the part we’ve all been waiting for.

“If you’ll remain here for a few minutes, we’ll be pulling a few of you in for interviews. Remember, if you don’t get interviewed today that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Don’t overthink it too much.”

The instructor leaves the room, and a collective sigh goes throughout our small group. Yuri is bouncing her knee, keeping her eyes planted on the wall in front of her. All I can do is wait, I suppose.

Life is cruel that way. It’s the same way with soulmates. All there is to do is wait. Live life as if you aren’t waiting for that one heartstopping (or rather, heartstarting), moment in which you come face to face with the person fate has decided will love you better than anyone else on earth.

It would be foolish of me to say that everyday for the past four years I haven’t entered my classes on campus or any restaurant holding my breath in hopes that today would be the day. College campuses are a kind of hotspot for soulmate activity; one of my trainings was actually spent just shadowing different classes and waiting for something to happen. It was my first hands-on training, and it only lasted a week.

In a single week I assisted in four different soulmate placings.

And that was in the middle of midterms; when the odds of meeting your soulmate are fairly low because stress levels are high. People are less likely to mingle with different groups of people, if they even bother to look up from their textbooks at all. So needless to say I was always waiting for it to happen.

Always waiting, never experiencing. It’s safe to say that after I graduated both my parents and I were a bit disappointed. While it’s not necessarily uncommon for people to reach college graduation age without a soulmate, it’s also an instant way to get everyone to pity you.

Sure, I wallowed for a while in self-pity. However, once I set my mind on pursuing a career in soulmate assisting within an idol group, I was an unstoppable force. And as for finding my soulmate? I used the possibility of working for Bighit as another way to make my parents feel better about their lack of a son-in-law.

If I get the job, I’ll be traveling the world. The chances of me meeting my soulmate would surely skyrocket.

“Choi Haneul?”

I jerk out of my stupor to see the instructor waving me over. Yuri gives me a light nudge, smiling at me encouragingly as I make my way over to the door with a pounding heart.

Fun fact: many people panic and think they’re experiencing what are referred to as “soulmate spikes” the second they start to feel a spike in their heart rate. 9.9/10 times they’re wrong. One way to tell if you really are experiencing soulmate spikes (the initial spike in heart rate upon seeing your soulmate) is if you’re also experiencing intense tunnel vision.

The instructor gives me a curt nod, refusing to give anything away. He simply escorts me down the hallway and into a room where someone is looking over some papers.

Sejin, manager of BTS.

Maybe he’ll pass me along to TXT if he thinks I’d vibe better with them? No, I think to myself. There’s no way I’m about to undermine myself.

“Choi Haneul?” Sejin asks me, a light smile on his face as he looks up at me. I nod, unsure of whether or not I should even say anything. “Please, take a seat.”

The instructor closes the door behind him as he leaves, and suddenly I’m alone with someone I never realized could be perceived as intimidating.

“It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Sejin.”

I nod, fighting a sarcastic chuckle. Does he actually think I don’t know who he is, or is he just being polite? “I’m Haneul, thank you for having me.”

Sejin smiles again, looking back down at his papers. “Of course. Now, this probably won’t be a very long interview. Your stats speak for themselves.” He waves the paper in the air, and I see my application form as well as my transcripts from college. “I do just have a few questions for you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course.” I put pressure on my legs, reminding myself to keep still.

“Wonderful. First off, how comfortable are you with constantly being in new environments and having to adapt to an idol’s schedule? It’s a rigorous one.”

Chewing on the inside of my cheek I process the question. “I wouldn’t say that I’m very comfortable at all.”

Sejin’s eyes grow wide, but he proceeds. “And why is that?”

“I wouldn’t want to grow comfortable with it. That would draw away my attention from my job, and my job pretty much depends upon me remaining alert at all times. Now, could I adapt to the schedule? Without a doubt.”

Sejin gives a small chuckle, leaning back against his seat. “Huh. Interesting.”

☆

“C’mon, we have to celebrate!” Yuri bounces up and down, practically glowing. “I can’t believe we both got interviewed!”

I smile along with her, still a little giddy. “Yeah, but don’t you think that’s a little premature? It was just an interview, after all. The really important part is if they call you after.”

“Whatever, don’t you want to celebrate with me? I never thought I’d make it past the first week.”

That I can definitely agree with. It’s a competitive field for sure, and the agency does its best to weed out the weak. For good reason, obviously. Nearly half of the applicants the first week in were fangirls hoping they would match up with one of the idols they might work with. And the other half? Those were the ones who quickly realized that they weren’t crazy enough to want a job that required excessive time and effort.

“Alright, where do you want to go?”

Yuri jumps in place making me laugh. Dragging me along behind her, we take the first taxi we can find. The streets of Seoul are filling up now that the evening is coming along. It’s a Friday night; everybody is going to be out and about, celebrating the end of another week.

When we make it to the little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that the two of us have frequented a little too much over the past few months, there’s a fairly large crowd mulling about. We squeeze into a booth after paying for our food, finally able to eat without feeling like I’m going to throw up from the stress.

“Wow, is it just me or does this taste even better now?” Yuri looks up at me with wide eyes and full mouth.

“Is it just me or do you look like a gopher right now?”

If it wasn’t for the piles of food between us I’m sure she would have smacked me. She settles for a quick kick to the shin instead. Hissing at her, she offers me a sweet smile.

“So what’s Sejin like? He’s always seemed like a sweet little teddy bear to me.” Yuri asks before shoving more food into her mouth.

I shrug, thinking back over my interview. The entire thing probably only lasted about 20 minutes, but I think it went well. “He’s nice. Professional, but he honestly wasn’t that grueling. He just said my stats pretty much did all the talking. I think he was just trying to see if I was crazy or not.”

Yuri snorts, nodding along. “Same. Do you think you passed the crazy test?”

“Too soon to tell.”

We delve back into our food, talking more about our interviews. Despite the huge unanswered question hanging between us, did we make it?, the stress from earlier has dissipated. There’s nothing left to do except wait. I feel satisfied with all the work I’ve put in; there’s not a lot more I could’ve done.

It’s the sound of someone’s phone ringing that has us pausing. We look at each other with wide eyes, but there’s no way they’ve already made their decision-

“It’s just my mom,” Yuri sighs out as she brings the phone to her ear. She chats with her mother for a few minutes, reassuring her that everything went well today. I mindlessly push my food around, the sound of Yuri’s ringtone put me on edge for a moment. They definitely won’t call tonight. We just finished!

“What did your mom say?” I ask once she hangs up. Yuri shrugs.

“Just wanted to know if I was interviewed. She said she’s rooting for the both of us, she seemed pretty relieved that we’re not going for the same position.”

That’s right. While I was pulled in for an interview with Sejin, Yuri was pulled in for an interview with TXT’s managers. As far as we’re concerned, we’re now contending for our spots as soulmate assistants to two different groups. And considering that each group is only looking for 1 assistant, it’s pretty competitive. The instructor did say there was a small chance of hiring two per group, just depending on their needs. One of those would only be a part-time assistant though. Definitely not the ideal position.

“Yeah, same here-”

Yuri’s phone lights up again, and this time there is no sigh of relief as she sees who’s calling.

Looking up at me with wide eyes, she looks like she might throw up all the food we just ate. “It’s the agency.”

Gasping aloud, I drop my chopsticks and wave at her to hurry. “Answer it! Quick!” Yuri gives me a terrified look before slowly bringing the phone up to her ear. I chew on my lip as I watch her expression change from terrified to startled.

“R-really? That’s great news!” Yuri bounces up and down in her seat, and I mirror her movement. “Of course! 9am? Sounds perfect...I’ll be there! Thank you so much!”

She drops her phone on the table as she pants. “...so?” I ask her, and she grins up at me.

“I got the job!”

We both scream a little louder than necessary, the people sitting in the both across from us glaring in our direction. “No way! That was so fast!”

She nods, running her hands through her hair. “I know! They just said the decision was easier to make than they expected, seeing as I have the most experience out of the people they interviewed. I’m supposed to head in tomorrow to go over the contract and get to work.”

There’s a little twist of uncertainty in the pit of my stomach as I realize that Yuri was hired within a matter of hours. What does that mean for me?

“That’s amazing, Yuri. I’m so proud of you.”

She shakes her head, unable to stop smiling. “I’ve got to call my mom, should we head out?” I nod, following her out of the restaurant. She’s practically skipping to a taxi, waving it over. I laugh at her behavior.

“I can’t believe it though. Make sure you tell Yeonjun that we’re meant to be best friends.”

Yuri slides into the taxi, and I follow after her. She fixes me with a dazed smile as she gives directions to her apartment. We live in the same complex, so it’s easy to go anywhere with her.

“I’ll be sure to tell him. Who knows, maybe the two of you are soulmates!” Yuri winks at me even as I cringe.

“No way, he’s way too young for me.”

Rolling her eyes, Yuri manages to get one more comment out before her mother answers the phone. “Whatever, you’re only like what? Three years older? Mom! Guess what!”

By the time we make it to our apartments Yuri is still gushing to her mom on the phone. My own parents texted me, I just responded and told them I was interviewed. Their obvious excitement over making the interview fails to buoy me up, though. Not when I’m becoming more and more convinced that I’m not going to be receiving a call tonight.

Perhaps I’ll wake up to a consolation email in the morning, thanking me for my time and sending me on my way.

Yuri invites me over to her apartment to continue in the celebrations, but I opt out of it. She frowns, about to apologize or something but I speak up before she can. I don’t want any apologies; not yet. That makes it seem like it’s really over.

“My parents are begging me to call them and you know how long they can talk for,” I say, backing away. “I’d better go call them now so I can still get to sleep at a decent time. Congrats again, Yuri. You deserve it. Let me know how everything goes tomorrow, ok?”

Yuri nods, still frowning. “You sure you don’t need anything?”

“Nope! I’m all good. Good night!”

I wave before turning and heading up the stairs. Yuri lives on the ground floor whereas I live on the third. It’s a small apartment complex, and it’s pretty quiet most of the time. Tonight though, people are celebrating the weekend, and the sounds delve into my ears until I have to screw my eyes shut and press my hands up to my ears.

Leaning against my door the second I close it behind me, I sigh. The thoughts are too loud in my head right now.

What started off as a hopeful day has effectively crashed and burned right before my eyes.

Peaking one eye open I glare at the big world map I have hanging up in my living room. To anyone else it’s just another lovely piece of artwork. Painted on a thin canvas with vibrant greens, blues and purples it draws the eye and fills people with wanderlust.  

For me it represents a dream that is becoming more and more unobtainable.

My best friend from my childhood found her soulmate five years ago. We were freshly graduated from high school, it was perfect. I thought that it was perfect, at least. They were able to finish growing up together, figuring out college and taking time to really fall in love before life became too crazy to hardly eat.

They got married two years ago. It was beautiful and they made it look so easy. They finished up college together and moved to Gwacheon. I haven’t seen her for a year now, we’ve just been naturally growing apart.

She’s always been supportive of me trying to find my soulmate. It’s odd, seeing that I’ve always been the one obsessed with learning about them and preparing for that moment and she’s the one that just happened to stumble upon her soulmate right after she turned 18. But she never made me feel like I was falling behind or at a loss.

Our last phone call reminds me of the entire reason why I bought that gigantic world map in the first place, hanging it where I would see it every time I walked in the door at the end of the day.

“You know Haneul, he’s out there. There’s no question about that.”

“I know...just, where? I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to be found.”

“That’s not true. And if it is, I’ll personally slug him for you.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“You know what you need to do, Han?”

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“Of course I am. You just have to go out there! Get out in the world, get out of Seoul, and go live your life! The second you get out and start living your life will be when everything falls into place for you. I’m certain of it.”

“I’d love to do that, really. But how on earth do I manage that? I need a stable job, I have an apartment to pay for. I can’t just leave everything to go in search of someone I’ve never met and who maybe isn’t ready to be found.”

“It’s up to you. But I know you, and you’re not happy. I can’t imagine it, I’m not going to pretend to understand. We both know I got lucky...but really Haneul. I know it’s scary and there’s a lot that you don’t know the first thing about, but I just think that if you want to move on from this you have to leave the apartment and get out there. And you think he isn’t ready to be found? Nobody ever is. But I can guarantee that the two of you are both ready to be loved.”

It’s been nearly ten months since that phone call, and it’s been nearly ten months since I became friends with Yuri and found out about the agencies beginning their hiring process. It seemed too good to be true, especially once I found out about the heavy schedule filled with nearly nonstop travelling and meeting people.

I always knew there was a reason I went into the soulmates studies. Finally it seemed like the opportunities were appearing that I so desperately needed.

Ten months. Rigorous training and exhausting schedules that sometimes had me wondering if this really was the right path for me.

But every night, sometimes late enough to see the black sky begin to turn to a hazy gray with the promise of dawn approaching before I even had a chance to sleep, I stumbled home and saw that map.

Somewhere. Every night, I’d see it and chant the word to myself. Somewhere. You’re somewhere out there.

It’s worth it, isn’t it?

Slowly standing up from my position against the door, I glare at my phone as I take it from my pocket. No phone call.

Another glance at the map, the beautiful colors and lines mocking me as it tells me that while he may be somewhere, I am still here. And as long as I remain here, where my soulmate is will be a big question mark.

No phone call. No job. No soulmate.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I make my way to my bedroom. Now would probably be a great time to shower, but I’d much rather just lay here on my bed and stare up at the ceiling as I wallow in self-pity.

“Happy Friday night to me.”

☆

I think it’s on the third ring that I wake up from my slumber, still in my clothes from the day before. Groaning out a few incoherent words, I search my blanket for where my phone is ringing incessantly.

“Who…?”

Finally grasping my phone, I hold it up to my squinting eyes. My mouth drops open of its own accord, my heart rate spiking. Clearing my throat, I attempt to sound like I didn’t just wake up as I answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hello, I’m calling for Choi Haneul?”

My voice gets caught in my throat. “S-speaking.”

“Wonderful. My apologies for calling you so early, I’m manager Sejin, I interviewed you yesterday?”

Straightening out my clothes even though he can’t see them, I nearly scoff at the idea of him having to introduce himself. Like I’d forget.

“Right, no worries. How may I help you?” Slipping into the role of gracious host, I chew on my lip.

Sejin wastes no time getting to the point. “We certainly didn’t expect to come to a decision so quickly, but after reviewing the interviews and applicants, you were a standout Miss Choi. As a representative of Bighit entertainment and manager of BTS, I would like to offer you the position of central soulmate assistant. That is, if you’re still interested.”

I’m practically floating above the floor by the time Sejin finishes speaking. “I- yes! Yes, I would be honored.”

Sejin chuckles lowly. “That’s perfect. Let’s see it’s...6:30 am now? Would you be alright to head in to the company by 9 to go over your contract and meet with the senior soulmate assistant?”

He could have asked me to show up wearing nothing but a garbage bag at 3 in the morning, and I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.

“Of course, I’ll be there!”

“I’ll send you an email with where to go and further instructions.”

“Thank you!”

Laughing again, Sejin allows me this bit of joy. “Thank you, Miss Choi. I’ll see you shortly.”

I’m nearly panting as I end the call, falling back against my bed and staring up at the ceiling with a mad grin. Then, body bursting with excitement I leap up from the bed and hurdle into the front room.

Hurtling to a stop before my map still hanging on the wall, I call my parents.

☆

“I wonder what it’s liiiiike,” I sing at the top of my lungs as I rummage through my closet for something to wear. Double checking the email from manager Sejin, I decide that it might be best to bring in some backup.

Bringing my phone up to my ear, I wait for Yuri to answer the phone. It’s barely seven in the morning, chances are she’s just getting ready as well.

“Haneul?”

The grin that’s been a permanent resident on my face for the past thirty minutes grows wider. “Yuri! I was wondering, could I carpool with you to the agency?”

It’s silent on the other side while Yuri connects the dots. “What do you mean...wait, shut up! You got it?! You got the job?!”

Yuri screams louder than I did while I was on the phone with my parents, but now I can’t help but scream right back. “YES! I got it! They just called me this morning!”

We’re both a happy mess as Yuri decides to bring her things upstairs to get ready with me. “I already picked out my outfit last night, I’ll just bring it up. Be right there!!” She really doesn’t waste any time, because less than two minutes later I open the door to find a panting Yuri nearly buried beneath her pile of clothes and makeup bags.

“Here, let me take that,” I mutter, laughing as she lets me ease some items of clothing off of her pile. “That was fast.”

“Han!!! I’m so happy for you!” As soon as we dump her stuff on my bed, Yuri pounces on me and begins trying to strangle me like a boa constrictor. “I was so nervous for you, and I didn’t want this to drive us apart. I knew for a fact that you were by far the most qualified, they would’ve been complete idiots to let you go!”

Laughing, I drag the both of us over to the closet. “What are you wearing to this, then? What does ‘casual-nice’ even look like?”

Yuri takes the opportunity to show me her outfit, my jaw dropping as she puts it on and shows it off.

“I was thinking something like this,” Yuri says as she straightens out the sleeves of the sweater she wears beneath the checkered brown dress.

My mouth drops open of its own accord. “Wow.”

Yuri frowns as she goes to look at herself in the mirror. “Is it too much?”

“No,” I shake my head as I delve into my thoughts. “I’m just thinking that you’re going to make everyone in there wish you were their soulmate.”

Cheeks turning a furious red color, Yuri waves off my comment. “Whatever. Let’s find you something to wear.”

In the end I try on four different outfits before settling on one that I think will do the job. It’s certainly more simple than Yuri’s but I find that it’s more functional.

“So pretty,” Yuri coos as she gets ready beside me, the vanity proving to have just enough space for the two of us.

“Me or you?” I question, smirking at her. Yuri grins.

“Both.”

☆

Yuri ends up driving us to the agency, much to my eternal gratitude. Once the time came closer, I began to become more and more nervous. It’s been a long time since I’ve started a new job; I’ve been working at the university for the past four years and only quit about a month ago in order to make room for the rigorous training that was a result of making it to the final round of applicants.

I’m grateful for Yuri’s company as she chatters about how excited she is, it’s keeping my mind off of the nerves that are currently tying themselves into a knot in the pit of my stomach.

“I just really think that the boys seem really genuine, you know?” She says, tapping out the beat to the song playing on the radio on the steering wheel. “From everything that I’ve seen and heard about them, they seem really cool. I’m excited to meet them.”

Shaking my head numbly as we slow to a stop before a red light, I try to remember just how badly I wanted this job. “Yeah, they do. I’m jealous, I wanted TXT!”

Yuri cackles as she glances over at me. “You can’t even complain, you’re probably going to be paid way more than me!”

That much is true. While Yuri will still be traveling a lot and certainly have her hands full with the five members, I’m going to be paid more. With the constant traveling, meetings, and seven total members, my job will be nonstop.

Either way, the moral of the story is this: we’re about to make some major money. But there won’t really ever be enough time to spend it.

That’s not why people become soulmate assistants. Those that go after it for the money are quickly weeded out. A job that requires all of your time and then some is exhausting, and the uncertain element of every situation is enough to drive some people crazy. I’ve heard about how concerts can be nightmares sometimes, especially when the crowd is huge.

Just imagine it: one of the group members makes eye contact with someone for less than a second, and suddenly they’ve got tunnel vision and are trying to jump off the stage into the sea of adoring fans that are all too happy to receive them. Then, somewhere in the crowd of thousands of fans, there’s a poor person who’s freaking out and feeling the symptoms of tachycardia, but guess what? So is everyone in the crowd. Adrenaline is pumping through them all since they’re at their favorite band’s concert.

Long story short, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The biggest thing is for one of the soulmate assistants to grab the idol before they can abandon all reason and their heart gives out, and the other assistant has to find the fan who’s wildest dream just came true.

It doesn’t happen that often, but it has been known to happen on occasion. The most recent was at a TWICE concert, where Sana happened upon her soulmate in the middle of a set. The video of the soulmate assistant acting in record time to contain the situation went viral and it’s one that I had to watch several times throughout my training.

“You guys have a senior assistant, don’t you?” I ask, wondering at my title as central soulmate assistant.

“Yep,” Yuri starts back up again as the light turns green, checking the clock. We’ve still got plenty of time. “From the email they sent me it sounds like I’ll be a junior assistant for about six months before moving up to senior.”

“So fast?”

Yuri shrugs. “Sounds like the senior assistant is about ready to retire. What’s your title?”

“Central.”

“Oh, so fancy.”

There are typically two different forms of soulmate assistant hierarchy; the junior/senior pattern and then the central system.

Junior/senior system is pretty self-explanatory: the senior assistant has typically worked with the group for a while already, and the junior assistant acts as an apprentice of sorts. Learning the trade and preparing to someday take over the responsibilities of the senior assistant. They work as a team to ensure the safety of the group.

A central assistant is a more in-depth and new system. Essentially, I’ll have eyes and ears everywhere from various staff members, who are constantly updating me on potential soulmates. All of the staff have been educated in the basics of soulmate studies, so they know what to do to subdue the situation if need be.

According to Sejin’s email, I will most likely be the only licensed soulmate assistant on the team. My job is to remain close to the members so I can hopefully be the first on the scene to help and get everything under way.

It’s exciting, but also a lot of pressure. My only hope is that the boys don’t run into their soulmates for a while; I would like to at least get to know everyone before having to get all up in their personal space.

The agency looms before us in the morning sun, looking somehow inviting and dreadful at the same time. Yuri follows what the security tells her at the front, parking in the parking garage before turning the car off.

8:42.

“We’re a bit early, but at least now we’ll be able to find where we’re supposed to go.”

I nod numbly at her words, trying to fight the pounding in my heart. 

Side Effect #1: Rapid Pulse Rate

“I’m kind of freaking out.”

“Me too. I’m glad you’re here, though.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too.” I grin at Yuri.

It’s quiet in the car before we build up the courage to get out. Our shoes tap against the ground, filling the silent garage with noise. Once inside, we’re directed by a receptionist toward the offices of Sejin and TXT’s management. They’re on the same floor, so we take the elevator together.

As soon as the doors close, Yuri lets out a squeal. “I’m going to dieeee!”

Laughing giddily at her reaction, I lean up against the wall of the elevator and try my best to control my breathing. “Same. Same. Whoo, I need to breathe.”

Side Effect #2: Shortness of breath

The elevator ride is entirely too short, because before I know it Yuri is dragging me out into the hallway and searching for the office #12. I’m supposed to be looking for #17.

Of course Yuri finds hers first, my friend coming to a stop just before the door, turning to grab my hand with surprising strength.

“Quick, tell me that I’ll be fine,” she hisses.

Gently removing her hand from mine, I give her an encouraging smile. “You’ll do great, and everything will work out just fine, Yuri.”

Rolling her shoulders, she gives me a mock salute before stepping up to the door. “See you later?”

“Good luck.”

I scamper past as she knocks on the door, looking back as she’s ushered in by a middle-aged man who must be the senior soulmate assistant. He wears the tell-tale yellow circle on his shirt, his eyes wide and alert as though always on the lookout.

He must have left an apprentice with TXT; there are always a few mulling about the agency to step in for the main assistants when they need to attend to other things.

#17 is just a few doors down, the door already wide open as I walk up to it. I don’t allow myself to pause and freak out again, because I’m scared that they’ll hear me start screaming out here or something.

Shoving down the nervousness to the corners of my mind, I take a deep breath and tap the open door lightly.

Sejin sits at his desk, talking quietly to someone sitting in the chair before his desk. He looks up at me, smiling politely. The person in the chair before him turns around at the sound of my knock, and I find myself face to face with none other than the leader of BTS.

“Miss Choi, great to see you,” Sejin stands, Namjoon as well as he waves.

I bow, hoping that my face isn’t too red as I look into the office. It looks like it’s just Namjoon. What a relief.

“Thank you for calling me back,” I say, nodding to Namjoon. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Namjoon smiles at me, gesturing for me to take the seat beside him. “It’s nice to meet you, too. Sejin spoke highly of you.”

Shuffling into the office, I give Sejin a surprised look. “That was kind of you.”

“I was only telling the truth. Namjoon helped me make the decision in regards to the position, so don’t just thank me.”

Namjoon gives me a sheepish smile before settling back down in the chair. I follow suit, mumbling out a small ‘thank you’.

Once we’re all settled, Sejin produces a packet and slides it across the table to me, another one to Namjoon, and keeps one for himself.

“Ok, shall we get started?”

Sejin begins explaining the contract, Namjoon listening intently beside me. The fact that Namjoon helped with all of this makes me feel a little better somehow. It makes me feel like I won’t be quite so out of place with BTS.

We’re stuck in his office for nearly an hour just going over the finer details of the job, and by that time I’ve finally come out of my shell enough to form a few intelligent questions.

“How many staff members do you have that went through soulmate training within the past three months?” I ask, leaning back in my chair as I examine the Staff Preparedness section in the contract.

Sejin looks over something on his computer. “Within the past three months? Only two; the rest are within the year. We have them renew the course once a year. Why three months?”

“There was a technique that was completely discredited by Léo Dupont and they just began applying it in soulmate training within the past three months. While it may not seem that important, it can sometimes make a big difference in timing.”

Namjoon looks at me with wide eyes, a hint of respect blooming there. “What was the technique he discredited?”

“The glass door technique. It was believed that if the soulmates could still see each other but refrain from actual physical contact, this would assist in the ‘come down’ from the surge in heart rate.”

“It doesn’t?” Sejin asks.

I shake my head. “No, in fact, recent studies show that it nearly doubled the ‘come down’ time. It also served as a spike in the heart rate, long after it should have returned to a normal range. It nearly killed Jennifer Aniston before someone moved her to a more secure location. Best case scenario is a complete cut-off from view, and engaging in verbal contact rather than physical.”

“That’s good to know,” Sejin mumbles, typing something out on his laptop. “I’ll send out a memo with that information as well as advise staff to renew their training as soon as possible.”

We go over a few more details before Namjoon sits up in his seat. “We’re about done, right? I just got a text from Soobin saying they’re all gathered up and ready to go.”

My heart rate spikes again as I realize that we must be meeting together after this. And from the sounds of it, it’s practically the entire agency.

“Yeah, just about. Do you want to sign, Namjoon, and you can head out?”

Namjoon signs Sejin’s copy of the contract before getting up and heading toward the door. “We’re excited to have you join the team, Miss Choi.”

“Thank you! And you can just call me Haneul, don’t worry about it.”

Namjoon’s dimples make an appearance as he smiles back at me. “Then I’m just Namjoon to you. See you guys in a bit.”

Sejin covers the last few points in the span of ten or so minutes, clearly ready to get going like I am. We finish up going over vacation days when he leans back with a sigh.

“And yeah, I think that’s about it. Any questions? Today you’ll be getting a feel for the schedule and meet the boys and staff you’ll be working closely with, so don’t hesitate to ask them any more questions as they come.”

Palms starting to sweat with the idea of meeting the rest of Bighit shortly, I give a curt shake of the head. “I think I’m good for now.” Ignoring the tightness in my chest, I reach out for the contract.

Side Effect #3: Chest pain

“Wonderful. Just sign here, and I’ll send you a copy of this.”

☆

Sejin and I walk down the hall after being dropped off at the fifth floor. The second the elevator doors opened I could hear the ruckus of two kpop groups in one room.

To my shock Yuri’s voice rings out, followed by a bout of laughter. It would appear that she’s already found her place.

Sejin gives me an encouraging smile as we inch closer to the room at the end of the hall. “You ready? It’s been a pretty big couple of days for you.”

I can’t help but find comfort in Sejin’s attitude. I’m glad he understands the deer in the headlights look I’m probably sporting right now.

I hope my soulmate is like him.

The thought passes through my mind suddenly, making me go blank for a moment. While it’s a true sentiment, I have to focus on making a good impression today so I can find my soulmate another day.

One day at a time, Hanuel.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I respond, offering him a shaky smile in return. Sejin chuckles, and I wonder if he felt the same way early on in his manager days. I wonder if he still occasionally feels that way, now that BTS has grown more than anyone ever expected.

He goes before me, entering the room and already falling into a conversation with someone. I hesitate for a second, my heart pounding so hard that it���s hard to focus. Rolling my neck, I take a step into the room.

“Ah, there she is!” Yuri chirps out, leaving from where she was beside Beomgyu, who was showing her a video on his phone. “You guys took a long time.”

If my heart wasn’t currently trying to leap out of my ribcage, I would come up with something funny to say.

“Haneul is very thorough,” Sejin comments from where he stands beside one of the TXT managers. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Quick,” I hear someone speak up, “Everyone pretend like Sejin didn’t just say her name!”

It was Hueningkai that made the comment. I can tell who it was because the boy in question is currently dodging an elbow to the ribs from Taehyun. Yuri laughs at their behavior before looking back to me expectantly.

“Oh,” my voice sounds a bit croaky. After clearing my throat, I try again. “Hello everyone. I’m Choi Haneul, it’s nice to meet you all.”

The seven members of BTS come up to the front, gathering in a line like it’s second nature. Namjoon gives me a small smile, which I take comfort in.

“Well, you’ve met me already...this is everyone else.”

Taehyung steps forward, giving me a small wave and grinning wide. “Just call me Tae.”

Jimin gives his friend a wide-eyed look. “Isn’t that a bit informal for just meeting?” Tae’s cheeks go a little red.

“Is it?” He asks, and I nearly pass out from the amount of sweetness in the room. “I think we’ll be good friends, so why not just skip the formalities?”

The boys reflect various levels of long-suffering as Jungkook shakes his head while the rest of the room laughs at Tae’s odd manner. “We both know it doesn’t work like that.”

Sejin answers the question I didn’t even know I was thinking. “In case you’re wondering, they’re always like this. Might as well get used to it.”

Yuri giggles at my reddened cheeks, but I brush off the embarrassment enough to look back at the boys. “That’s good to know.” The boys break from their line in order to return to wherever they were lounging about earlier. Once they turn to leave I feel a bit better; my heart calming down. Hopefully, with time, I’ll be able to breathe properly around them.

I remain near the door, unsure as to what to do next. It looks like Sejin and the other managers are preparing to give a debriefing of sorts and everyone is just waiting around for it. Thankfully, Yuri remains beside me.

“How are you holding up?” She asks me quietly. I give her a long look, conveying the depth of my feelings perfectly.

“I can’t calm down. I feel like I’m either going to pass out or going to run the length of Seoul in five minutes flat.”

Side Effect #4: Lightheadedness and/or fainting (syncope) 

Yuri snorts. “Now that I’d like to see.”

Taehyung calls out to me, pulling me from my conversation. “You’re from Seoul, Miss Choi?”

I smile warmly at him, already taking a liking to him. He’s one big contradiction: his looks make him appear intimidating, but he has the warmest personality.

“I’m originally from Anyang, actually. But I’ve been in Seoul for the past five years.”

“Oh, we’re neighbors!”

Jin is the one who spoke, and I look to where he stands behind the couch, leaning down to watch something on Jungkook’s phone. His eyes are turned up to me, a hint of excitement at being from neighboring cities evident in his expression.

Less than a second is all it takes.

In the second grade, I learned that within the span of a single second, a bumblebee can beat its wings 200 times.

That fact fascinated my young brain; 200 times in a single second?! Of all the wonders in the world I had discovered and had yet to discover in my life, this was the fact that stayed with me. How could such a small creature accomplish such an improbable feat, all within the confines of the time it takes to blink?

My junior year of high school I learned that the average pair of soulmates begin to experience the initial spike in heart rate that leads to tachycardia within the first 0.002 seconds of eye contact. That means, even if it’s a passing glance, the moment those two sets of eyes make contact, everything is about to change.

As I hold eye contact with Jin across the room, I believe that there is a small part of me that knows I should be thinking about everything I’ve learned about soulmates over the past few years. Where are the steps I used to recite day and night in order to keep them memorized?

Yet, that little 8 year old girl with wonder-filled eyes as she learns about bumblebee’s amazing abilities is the only thing I can come up with. Almost as if she’s in the room with me, looking back and forth between Jin and I with that same expression.

Something clicks for me in that single moment as my heart rate continues to jolt and jump. Something seems to connect between bumblebees and soulmates.

Like a bumblebee’s wings frantically beating to keep itself aloft, my own heart begins to do its best to meet the same pace.

Side Effect #5: Heart palpitations (a racing, uncomfortable or irregular heartbeat or a sensation of "flopping" in the chest)

I’m barely aware of distant voices all around me, a few growing in volume as the truth sinks in. I feel arms trapping my own against my torso, and I gasp for air as breathing becomes more difficult. Frowning, I realize that someone is trying to move me away.

Away?

Jin seems to notice I’m being moved away at the same time I do, because the frozen posture he had is broken as he straightens and lurches forward.

He’s all I can see. It strikes me in that moment that he looks a bit different in real life. Sharper, yet somehow more welcoming. Those eyes, although frantic, have kindness imbued in them. The fingers that are outstretched toward me are a bit crooked, and I can’t help but wonder for a moment if our hands will fit together like everyone always says soulmates do.

Wait, soulmates?

Amidst the pounding in my chest and burning lungs, I suddenly have a moment of clarity. The wiry arms wrapped around my torso must belong to Yuri, and she’s speaking calmly into my ear.

“Count with me, Haneul. 1, 2, 3…”

Opening my mouth and marveling at how dry and scratchy my throat feels, I croak out, “...4…5…”

“What comes next, Han?”

“...6.”

Yuri hums, gently trying to ease me backward. When my body locks up, she tries a new method. Coming around to face me, she keeps a firm grip on my shoulders, and gets up on her tippy toes to look me in the eyes.

“We’ve got to move you to a separate room, Han. You remember, don’t you?”

There’s a small voice in my head that wants to tell her that yes, I do remember. However it’s drowned out by the sound of my heart beating in my ears as it continues to pick up speed. Yuri is instructing the boys to grab Jin as he continues marching toward me on shaky legs. He’s only about three feet away, arms extending toward me while Yuri pins my arms down and shoves.

“Grab him!” Yuri shouts even as I cry out from being shoved away. In a flash I see a couple of different pairs of arms reaching out to Jin, effectively stopping him in his tracks as he struggles against them.

“Please,” Jin says in a surprisingly calm voice even as he pushes against Jungkook and Sejin. “Please, just let me-”

“Han, I know your mind is a jumbled mess right now, but please. Remember that this is a matter of life or death. You want to see him?” Yuri doesn’t wait for my response, which makes sense as I haven’t once looked away from Jin. “Then get out of here. Now.”

Like an electric shock to my senses, I breathe in deep. Still unable to look anywhere other than Jin - his sweater has a loose thread on the collar, I should fix that for him - I do the only thing I can.

Closing my eyes is like swimming through concrete, but gritting my teeth I just manage to do it. The second I break contact with Jin, my body relaxes just enough for Yuri to push against me and shove my unwilling feet out the door.

She has a firm grip on the back of my shoulders still as she shouts out to nobody in particular, “I need a room!”

Someone must answer her, because we abruptly change directions before coming to a stop. I refuse to open my eyes for fear of falling back into the imobile state I was in before, and Yuri still hasn’t given me the clear.

“Yeonjun, grab my bag! Bring it to me.”

The sounds of everyone scampering around are drowned out as I hear Jin’s broken voice calling out once more.

“No, don’t take her. Please don’t take her from me.”

Like a dam of freezing water breaking over my head, my eyes open and I spin around, seeing Jin breaking free of Sejin’s grasp and dragging Jungkook along with him.

Just as my eyes find his once more, the door slams shut.

Part 2

masterlist

taglist: @taylorroe3​ @dreamcatcherjiah​ @thecaffeinatedscribbles​ @marianeamine 

[maybe-seggy-will-be-our-always]

How is Leon the most and least humble person at the same time? Learn more about it in this very lengthy and very much not really requested translated transcript of the newest NHL interview starring Leon Draisaitl, Tim Stütze and Marco Sturm. Please don't be mean I tried best.

Christian Rupp: Servus [sorry but it’s just a form of greeting I don’t want to translate] to our German NHL call today with three first round picks who have all been drafted in the first round [I know this is repetitive but I thought it was funny]. I am excited for this great group! Leon Draisaitl of the Edmonton Oilers, Tim Stützle of the Ottawa Senators and Marco Sturm, Assistant Coach of the LA Kings. Thank you for agreeing to this format and thank you for being here. First question, of course, Leon: You broke Marco Sturm’s record and are now sole German top scorer in the NHL. Since this has been a few days ago now did you get the chance to fully realize/internalize this fact?

Leon Draisaitl: Yeah, I think that the media and you are maybe making a bigger deal out of it than I myself to be honest. No question, of course this means a lot to me but as I have said enough times already I have way too much respect for Sturmi and all the other outstanding German hockey players we’ve had in the NHL. So I don’t want to make a thing out of it that it isn’t.

C. R.: It’s always „Dream Big“ – have big plans as a young player and dream big. Is that something you can even dream of, being the best German player in the NHL?

L.D.: Yes, I mean dreaming of something like that is always nice, that was probably no different for Sturmi and now for Timmi as well. We all dream of something that big playing in the streets as small kids. Coming out on top is of course super special to me, that is out of question. But as I said, there’s always something to work on and to improve and that is what I am trying to do here.

C.R.: Marco, your record had been standing for a long time. Leon now broke it at the young age of 25. Is he a worthy successor?

M.S.: By all means, yes! It took me 15 years to reach that point and Leon did it in only four. That beats everything! But [I didn’t catch what he said here but I guess something along the lines of an elaborate form of „that“] was only a matter of time. Leon won’t be the first and last one. Tim will be the next one, also only a matter of time. I am happy about this and am gladly passing on that title to Leon. He is completely different and plays in an entirely different league than I did. It’s only the beginning for him, I am sure there are many more points to come.

C.P.: And with Tim Stützle, the next one is already on his way. He’s diligently collecting points in his rookie year. Regardless, Tim, for you. What’s it like for you seeing the/your count written out especially now that you got to know how hard it is to score and collect points in the NHL. How bis is this number for you?

Tim Stützle: Yes, I will have to be honest and say I noticed that every time we played Leon. Especially in the defensive zone it isn’t the easiest thing but mostly it was incredibly fun playing against the best players in the world every day. And again, especially in our league [I think he’s talking about the Canadian division here], playing against Edmonton with Leon and Connor who, which is no secret, belong to the two best players in the league and the world and particularly with Marco, who has collected many, many points. It’s supercool seeing German hockey getting better and better.

C.P.: I’ll throw this question back at Leon. You played against him a few times now this season. What did you notice about Tim Stützle’s game, what did you like about it?

L.D.: Everything! I mean, playing in the league already at his age and so to say helping your team win or playing a big role on the power play right away, that isn’t quite that easy. I think we all know this. Timmi is probably experiencing that himself right now, that the league can be hard [on you] and is quick to bring you back down to earth. Plainly, because it is the best league there is with the best players there are but I’m gonna say, playing this continuously good in his first year as an 18 year old is an impressive achievement.

T.S.: *laughs* Thank you!

L.D.: *grinning* Of course!

C.P.: I can spot a shelf in the background. Leon, did you already receive your trophies? You did win a few in the pre-season, did they arrive already? Do they have a spot already?

L.D.: Nah, I don’t have the real ones here yet. I haven’t even seen them yet to be honest. I got smaller ones, how do you call them in German, replica trophies. Yeah, it is pretty cool. They are downstairs and I guess are functioning as chewing toys for my dog right now. But the real ones, as I said, I haven’t even seen yet.

C.P.: Marco! Of course we want to talk a bit about you as well. You are assistant coach of the LA Kings. How are you looking back on the season?

M.S.: Yeah well, as everyone knows we are in the midst of a rebuild right now. We are right at the start which is never easy. Patience is the most important feat in this phase. Many older players are now gone, a few still remain. The youngest players aren’t quite there yet, that’s why we still need to exercise patience and work hard. Particularly with the younger players. Then, hopefully, we’ll be able to take the next step next season or in the summer and maybe we’ll receive some new players. A player or maybe multiple players who will help us.

C.P.: We have all been anxiously watching/awaiting the 2020 Draft. LA Kings with Marco Sturm, I am sure Tim Stützle would have been a good fit there as well. Now, to be frank, with Tim in the room. How often did you regret not selecting Tim Stützle?

M.S.: I don’t have any influence on this process but I had my hopes, of course. Regrettably, nobody heard me, that’s how it goes and I only learned we were picking Byfield the day of the draft. But Byfield, I’ll have to say, he played the last 5 games up here and he will, too, become an outstanding player in the league. Maybe a bit different to Tim but personally I had hopes Tim would end up playing for/with us.

C.P.: Tim, it keeps getting better for your team, you are on a streak right now. Are you sad the season will be over already for you?

T.S.: In the beginning, of course, we weren’t quite that good. But we are in the middle of a rebuild as well and we have a lot of young players. But the last games it clicked for us and I think we won seven out of nine games. We feel comfortable and have a lot of fun playing together and as a young team we savor every day.

C.P.: What are the plans for the upcoming weeks? Has Toni Söderholm called?

T.S.: Yeah, I will have to see. There will be talks with trainers and management about what is best for me. There are still some remaining problems with my hand and I will have to get another surgery. That’s why we will have to wait and see.

C.P.: Marco you lay the foundation for players wanting and enjoying to play for Team Germany, at worlds for example, again. What is your stance on [I again did not catch what he was saying] of German hockey?

M.S.: Generally I think we caught up nicely in the past years. As you mentioned already, if you want players, especially the ones playing in the NHL to [here probably something along the line of „to come play for Team Germany“] you it has to be fun. It is a long season for the boys and if they then go on and play another tournament on top of that, that is not easy and because of that it has to be fun and that was what I had been trying to achieve back in my days. German hockey needs the [NHL] boys to get ahead. And as I said, back in my day, the boys always liked playing here [Team Germany] and we always were successful.

C.P.: The list of German NHL players speaks for itself here, it is quite long and with Leon at the head, how do you rank the German national team, especially if all NHL players were to join. Particularly with the Olympics on the table as well. What are Germany’s chances of keeping up with the top nations?

L.D.: Yes, I think we do have a pretty decent team. Of course it’s always important to stay realistic if it’ll be enough going up against the USA or Canada. That is something we will have to see but I believe we have a lot of players that have the ability to compete on that level and that a few NHL players will be present as well, hopefully all of them. I think we have a very very good team.

C.P.: Sadly, we have almost reached the end of our Zoom call today. I will making my rounds one last time. Tim, what are your summer plans?

T.S.: I think I will most definitely spend my summer in Mannheim. I will practice with the [„Fitnesstrainer“ so I guess just coaches/trainers] and some Adler players. I think it will be a good summer for me because I want to work on a lot of things and grow stronger [generally, just improve is meant here I think]. I think it will be best for me to be there [Mannheim].

C.P.: And you Marco? Will you stay in Landshut and then later, will you be returning to the LA Kings?

M.S.: After the first few meetings it is, I think, clear that I will stay here for the upcoming years. I like it here and working together with [the bosses], it is fun. But then for me it is the same as it is for Tim and Leon. I will most probably stay with family and friends in Landshut for a few months before it is time to get back to business again.

C.P.: I don’t think I have to ask about your goal, Leon. I would describe it as a quite big and silver thing [I don’t have a good translation here, the expression was „etwas größerer Silberling“].

L.D.: Yeah of course! I hope we’ll remain in the game for as long as possible and come out at the very top in the end. That is the dream and the goal of course. Then, as the other two have already said, I  will spend the summer mainly in Europe and will prepare for the next season there.

C.P.: So for you this, so to say, means Köln is calling in the summer even if it is a shortened one?

L.D.: [In my opinion this was said hesitantly] Yeah, mostly in Köln.

C.P.: I wish you all the best for your athletic projects, stay healthy  and thank you for joining this exclusive NHL.com.de [he said that so I dunno] Zoom call.

*Everyone says their goodbyes*