#Tractor AU

[riacte]

third life (2021) | king + hand

"no! i won't do it! i won't do it! you took me when i was lowly traveller, going across the land searching the four corners in this world. i learned there was nothing in this world for me, nothing but walls, corners, edges. and you know what? you showed me life. as much as i took it from you, you gave it back to me in bucketfulls. and i just— i'm with you. this is us, now. this is us."

starring: ren "the dog" as the red king, martyn littlewood as hand of the king

[treeba-rk]

modern celebrity treebark au and ren is a famous movie star while martyn is his younger personal assistant and has to plan ren’s meetings while getting jealous when he talks to his other hot celebrity friends while knowing all of ren’s highly specific weird preferences

[mentalisill]

tractor au we really goin at it now huh

They’re waiting for their dinner to get delivered when Ren realizes just how gorgeous Martyn is. They’re not doing anything really special, just too out of it to cook so Chinese takeout it is.

Originally, Ren had been saying lines for some movie his manager helped score him a role in. Some highlights from a scene between the main character and Ren, who's playing the love interest.

He says some stuff, it's cliche and sappy, and Martyn throws in small remarks here and there.

They have a system. Ren doesn't actually remember how it started, it kinda just happened one afternoon of sitting around and doing nothing, Ren looked at Martyn and just, stars, Martyn in the orangey lighting of Ren’s kitchen in his jeans and a dark green sweater, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, using his hands to tap absently tap at the counter. Ren had never been more gone for anyone.

That afternoon, they ended up on the couch, Martyn's hands in Ren's long hair and Ren's hands on Martyn's shoulder and neck, practicing a kissing scene Ren had.

And since they'd first begun doing that, Ren had started repeating his favorite lines for Martyn whether they included a kiss or not, it was something fun for both of them. Martyn made witty jokes and improved lines (Sometimes going against the plot of the movie to create some mess of a roleplay in some raspy over-exaggerated accent)

Tonight,  Martyn taps absently on the counter as Ren just plucks strings, it’s a very jumpy beat, but Ren makes due.

RD#1 

“Okay, uh–you ready dude?” Ren smiled, shifting his guitar on his lap as he sat on the marble island counter, watching Martyn as he moved around the kitchen. 

Martyn hummed, giving him a thumbs up.

Ren pressed the record button, this was technically a first draft, right? A demo?

The lyrics start as hums, nothing more than white noise in Ren’s ears as he thinks about if they’re good enough to be said out loud, he almost doesn't want to speak the words he's thinking up.

And when he sings the first word, the first verse, he wants nothing more than to just shrivel up and die. Nothing's more embarrassing to him.

Dream of my hands in your golden hair, “When I wake up, will you still be there?”

It's the first thing that he sings, he's honestly just spitballing here.

As Ren sings, he kinda has a problem closing his eyes and swaying, rocking back and forth in slow movements as he plucks and strums his guitar strings. But this time? He is still as a rock, wide-eyed, and looking at Martyn (who's still cooking, which requires his back to be turned, and Ren guesses that's a bit more comfortable than having Martyn stare at him as Ren sings the song he literally wrote about the blonde)

Because this song is not Ren the actor. It's Ren, just a regular guy. Just Ren, the guy who just so happens to be in love with his best friend, the guy who knows how Martyn takes his coffee, Martyn’s favorite weird food combinations, how he spends his Sunday afternoons, the guy who is hopelessly in love with his personal assistant.

They aren't exactly dating. They're well aware of their mutual feelings for each other, yet have no label on what they are. They're just them. And that's enough for Ren, and if it's not enough for Martyn they can put a label on it. But, they're in no rush.

Ren put everything into this song. Everything he loves about the man in front of him. He hums through the chorus, something, something, loving how Marytns jacket smelt that one night they were out late and Ren didn't have a coat so Martyn gave Ren his green jacket, something about how Ren stayed in bed an extra hour the next day just to not have to take the same jacket off when je got dressed, something about how Ren is actually drowning when he looks into Martyn's blue eyes and it's so much that he doesn't want to save himself anymore (he can deal with drowning if it's Martyn).

“I'd love to show that love's worth running to.” He finishes the song with the chorus, then an instrumental that fades out.

Martyn looks over his shoulder with a cheeky grin, “It sounds great! I like it!”

“I hope so. I don't think people would be happy to know I'm in love with someone who works for me, so…”

“What's the worst they can do?”

“I think getting canceled would be real scary, like it's my whole career on the line!” 

But, really, does any of it matter when Martyn snakes his hand into Ren's hand and entwines their fingers? Does any of it matter when Martyn uses his other hand to take the guitar from Ren and lean it against the counter next to them? Does anything need to worry Ren when Martyn pulls him down and kisses his cheek?

He's smiling like an idiot but decides that, no: his worries are kinda stupid, and a couple of angry fans aren't going to kill him.

[ireallyliketalldarksultrymen]

so alright, cool, whatever by the happy fits is such a tractor au song—under the lyric video, most of rens fans think he’s singing about false while the other half is like “i know what you are….” and just KNOW this man is singing about his assistant (spoiler alert: it’s martyn)

[akwardtractor]

What if I made a lengthy comic about reincarnated human bill joining the mystery shack?? What then???

[verysmallcyborg]

joy and serotinin is stored in being able to stare at fornax's tail with actual animation......! (even if very limited to idles / emotes / anims that have tail bones) (IT'S ALSO POSABLE. PEACE AND LOVE ON THE PLANET EARTH FOR ME AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO POSES HER)

(and a massive thank-you-for-my-whole-life @oneiroy for it MWAH <3)

[harveywritings92]

{BAND-AIDS au: Gaz, Soap and Rocky are up on a hill fooling around with a large tire they found, R/n was inside of the thing while Soap and Gaz took turns rolling the tire to each other, when one of them got the bright idea to roll it down the hill assuming it would stop in the ditch at the bottom.]

Soap: Alright, let’s do it! 

Gaz: Keep your limbs in the tire at all times Rocky!

[The guys let go of the tire watching it gain more speed as it goes down the hill...Meanwhile at the same time Ghost was driving just below the hill and saw something coming towards him at a fast pace! He slammed on the breaks just as the tire overshot the ditch; bounced in front of his jeep missing it by a hair and he then watched it fly straight into the pond on the other side of the road.]

Ghost: What the fuck?!

{He gets out of his car and looks up at the top of the hill where Gaz and Soap are both standing; staring at the pond with these freak out expressions. Ghost looks over at the pond just as Rocky broke the waters surface, she sees Gaz, Soap and a baffled Ghost watching her.]

Rocky. throws her arms in the air: Yeeeahhh! Let’s do it again!

{She pulls the tire out of the pound rolls it back up the hill.]

Soap: I’m going next!

Gaz, shoves him: Bollocks! I found the tire, I’m next!

Ghost: Are you all outta your fuckin’ minds??

{Everyone freezes as Ghost makes his way up the hill looking pissed}

Ghost: I outrank you, I’m next.

[havenesc]

I am having a blast reading through your rancher Jason au (and the horsegirl one too!) LOVE the slightly spooky resurrected Jason, it's so fun!

And Jason in your art looks so youthful, especially without the white streak🥺🥺 The resemblance to baby Robin Jay is just. ouugh. He's even smiling and laughing!! Imagine the emotional crisis Bruce would go through if he finds a photo of him like that.

Since I'm a city person who knows nothing about ranching: what are some of the things they have to do? does Jason have a favorite or most despised task?

WAHHHH thank you!! I imagine Jason has like. You know the light reflection in animals' eyes when you shine a flashlight in the difference? He probably gets shot at at least once by his well-meaning colleagues if he has to step out for something at night and they're also out there. God help him.

I think DC's biggest drawback on Jason (art-wise) is making him look like he's 35 with a mortgage and the IRS knocking on his door -- I know that's not old, but half the heartbreaking thing about Jason is that he's like. Nineteen. He's so young. At oldest he's like 24. He shouldn't be swimming in that soft baby fat, but he should still be youthful. Thank you anon I absolutely have a scene planned where Bruce sees his smiling happy photos and god he can't even remember when he saw those expressions on Jason's face it hurts

FULL DISCLAIMER, I only worked somewhat on a ranching operation as a small kid running the cattle chutes and only because the cowboys thought it was funny that I had to use my whole body weight to lift the chute divider. I worked on a horse ranch in Texas for most of my life (and still do on weekends) but that's not the same as a north rural Montana ranching! I have been doing a lot of research to compensate so I'm not just flying by the seat of my anecdotal evidence pants.

They have a lot of tasks -- there's no such thing as a comprehensive list, as ranching changes what needs doing by the season, the week, the day, but there's all sorts of things.

Tagging calves' ears, branding, vaccinating, sorting (weaning). Cows get moved from pasture to pasture depending on how the pasture is looking to keep it growing. Fencelines have to be checked and mended, lest the cows get in with another rancher's herd. Hay needs to be grown and cut and baled -- some of it to keep for the winter months, some of it to sell to other ranchers. Sometimes other ranchers need help with chores, so you go over there to assist for the day. Sometimes cattle get lost between moving from point A to point B, and you have to go into the bush to recover the cattle. Sometimes you have a bull that tears down a fence and he's a mean sonofabitch and it takes three people on horseback alternating between dragging him forward and running away from him to get him back where he belongs.

Horses need care too. Feeding, bringing up from the pasture, maintenance. Some horses need to be broke to ride, and then it's very common to ride the young, spooky (term for flighty) inexperienced horses out for menial task days like moving stock or checking fences, so they become dependable ranch stock like the older ones when it comes time to do real work like sorting or handling cattle up close for branding/doctoring. Some days you don't work with the cows at all, your tractor for moving hay is down and it's up to you to figure out how to fix it.

I'd say Jason's favorite task is probably moving cows. It's a long ass day, guaranteed to be 10-12 hours, but it's somewhat uncomplicated -- this would be the time where most of the hands start fucking around with each other and making a lot of jokes and daring each other to do real dumb shit that makes McLaren yell at them.

He likes it a lot less when it's bringing cows out of the foothills with a lot of thick brush, but it's still a good day's work.

His least favorite is breaking ice in water troughs in the rough winter. That shit sucks. I don't care who you are. Despite having a mallet, his hands always get wet, and there's always the risk of being caught out in a sudden snowstorm depending on the pasture.

[treeba-rk]

tractor au live action from hell <3

third life (2021) | king + hand

"no! i won't do it! i won't do it! you took me when i was lowly traveller, going across the land searching the four corners in this world. i learned there was nothing in this world for me, nothing but walls, corners, edges. and you know what? you showed me life. as much as i took it from you, you gave it back to me in bucketfulls. and i just— i'm with you. this is us, now. this is us."

starring: ren "the dog" as the red king, martyn littlewood as hand of the king

[treeba-rk]

hehe

[rotisseries]

in honor of the byler cowboy fic I'm sharing this fever dream from my drafts of almost a month ago

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience

[akwardtractor]

…. And what if I made the wordiest comic about Bill? Because I did. I’m so happy people love my human Bill, please enjoy some angst :)

[bustedxblue]

Life sucks... Become cow for Tusspot Dairy Farm

2 more unfinished things under the cut. Heads up- they ain't got no pants. Nothing explicit tho.

Second image heavily referenced cause I've been stuck in a rut. X

You might have seen this posted before. I wanted to finish something with Stu but... yeah. Did this for shits and giggles while I had the free time.

[corvidcrafts273]

Indian Omens(good omens au)

Everything is similar except

Aziraphale is into laddus and kaju katlis(and chaat)

Crowley has a terrace garden(yes he still shouts at the plants)(all the neighbors get confused)

Henna red hair

I want to cast crowley into a clothes selling role(but it changes loads of the storyline)

Warlock is the son of an indian actor(preferably srk)(for the chaos)(dunno any evil actors)

Adam is the son of businessman/banker/accountant/computer engineer,madam young is a housewife

The Them are friends from school, they eat icecream from the local convenience store/eat pani puris and hang out

It would be hilarious if crowley owned an auto instead of a car, cuz 1. Anathema needs a ride and needs a share auto

2. Az and crow just hang out in the auto (will share seats,)(they have a bromance)

Anathema is a witch, in that she knows tarot

Tracy and shadwel remain the same(wasnt he a bit shorttempered?like mr brown??(from just william series)(looks at author suspiciously)

Newt is really, really bad with computers, and it doesnt stop him from still pursueing them(thats commitment)

No field of megiddo or air bases, just rent a farm or something(plenty of open green grassy land here,happy trespassing)

How iconic would it be if they had swords??and they charged at each other??

War would start a fight between the two major religions here

Famine is already doing well with their no calories only pseudofood schtick

Death is death

Pollution uhhh no idea

Feel free to add your headcannons!!

[akkivee]

there’s a hallmark movie in the making with a country boy samatoki and city boy juto au lmao