#Tour so boring I write fanfiction in my head while watching

[nearina]

Remco in the background of this team UAE IG story going "notice me senpai!" on Joao.

Bonus:

Joao tagging Tadej and ignoring Remco.

[cryptic--writing]

hihi!

this is for @mustainegf writing comp- I've never written fanfiction (let alone smut) before so i hope this isn't too terrible

(also ik the pic is MOP era but its the only pic of them in the snow with cliff so pretend its RTL era)

word count: 4,334

warnings: fluff, eventual smut (it takes awhile), kissing, really awkward moments, reader blushes way too much and is too nervous around james

𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙋𝙋𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 𝙄𝘾𝙀 (1985 james)

Every so often, my brother, Lars, would allow me to join him and his band, Metallica, on tour. This was one of those every so oftens as the band traveled to our home country, Denmark. I always enjoyed these times traveling with him. I loved the scenes and the music, but, I mostly looked for to getting to spend time with one of his closest friends, James. 

This stop of the tour was a longer one, instead of the regular show-and-go, the five of us were going to spend the weekend here in our place of childhood, Gentofte Municipality, Denmark. We were able to muster the money to rent a 2 bedroom cabin, which wasn't too convenient with five of us planning to stay there the full weekend. 

As much as it would've joyed me to share a bed with James, I knew it would've been awkward for not just us, but the whole band, so I took the couch in the end. Lars and James would share one of the rooms, and Kirk and Cliff in the other. 

The cabin was slightly cramped, for five people at least. The scenery was beautiful, a perfect, homey, and cozy feeling.

It was the second day of our time here, so the place had grown quite messy due to the boy's frequent drinking and rowdy behavior. They had performed the night prior, so the fridge was empty, with nothing to eat or drink.

It was nearing 8 PM, and we were all thirsty and hungry for something to eat.

We were all sitting in the messy living room, scattered with empty cans and bottles of beer with chip bags scattered about as well.

“The storm is only gonna get worse, we should go get something before the stores close.”  Lars finally decided, glancing around the other four of us, who all collectively nodded.

“I’ll go with you, I need to get out anyways, it's too tight in here.” Kirk agreed, standing up to grab the keys of the rental car we had gotten.

“You guys wanna go?” Lars questioned James, Cliff, and I. 

Cliff nodded, standing with a sigh, “Uhm, sure I guess, I’ll go.”

“James? You gonna come?” Lars asked again, to which James shook his head.

“You think I’d go out in that shit? No, I'll stay in here.” He said with a scoff.

Lars nodded with a sigh, “Alright, you?”

I shook my head, “Nah, I'm good.” I said, my tone slightly hesitant.

Lars nodded, saying goodbye as he walked out with the other two, heading towards the car.

It seemed that with them leaving, the room felt hotter, even with missing three bodies. I wasn't paying much attention, my eyes absentmindedly staring at James.

The two of us had never really had time alone, it was always with Lars or the whole band there. I watched as he fidgeted with his thumbs before standing up and walking towards the window, my eyes following his every move.

I didn't think he could see me staring, as I never made it too obvious, but he could feel my eyes boring into him. 

“Storm is only getting rougher out there, it's gonna be a mess when they come back,” James observed, though his words were just an absent hum as I was lost in my thoughts, staring at the man I had been crushing on since I met him. 

My eyes traced each of his features, studying how his messy, long, curly blonde mane draped on his back and shoulders, his muscular frame, and his strong jaw. My thoughts began to wander, too far maybe, thinking of how his bangs would cover his sweat-coated forehead, his muscles twitching as he groaned while.

“Hello? Did you hear me?” His words quickly snapped me out of my thoughts as he caught my eyes with his own. 

I paused, “Uhm.. yeah, what were you talking about?” I said, my face heating, a small pink on my cheeks as he held eye contact with me from across the room.

He rolled his eyes, “I said that the storm outside is getting pretty bad. The guys may struggle to get back before everything freezes. Were you even listening?” 

I nodded, “Yeah, totally, just.. spaced out a bit..” I said, my tone slightly embarrassed. 

I was such a terrible liar, I hadn't even heard a word the man had said. I was too lost in the thoughts of him.

James sighed, walking back towards the couch and sitting next to me.

“Kinda cold in here, don't you think?” He asked, glancing at me as I kicked the blanket off of myself.

Cold? How is he cold? My body feels like it's on fire! With this proximity, just the two of us? How could he be cold?

“Do you dislike questions or something? Or is it me?” He teased me for not responding to his questions for the second time.

“No, sorry, just.. thinking, I guess,” I paused, trying to remember what we were talking about in the first place, “Uh, no, I don't find it too cold. It's kinda hot in here.” I said, my eyes once again wandering to him, though avoiding his own.

“Hot? It's like, 54 degrees in here, it's cold!” He said with a soft laugh.

I shrugged, god how I loved his laugh, so soft and sweet. I forced an answer, “Uh, yeah. Maybe I just need some fresh air outside..” I said, slowly standing up. I could feel his eyes follow me until I reached the front door, though it wouldn't budge. I pushed the door harder, though still, the door didn't open.

“The door is stuck,” I said, giving the door another push.

James stood, walking towards the door, standing closely behind me before gently moving me out of his way and to the side with his hands. I felt my skin burn where he touched, my face turning slightly red. He gave the door a push with all of his body weight, though still, the door wouldn't move.

James moved the curtain away from the window, seeing nothing but white snow. He scoffed in annoyance and surprise, “Seems like we're snowed in.” He stepped back, shrugging his shoulders.

I let out an annoyed groan. Now I truly was stuck in this home with him. The thought always excited me, as I would dream of getting time alone with him. But now that it's in fruition, I couldn't be more embarrassed and nervous. The snow most likely wouldn't be gone until tomorrow afternoon. How would I last with him?

He sighed, sitting down on the couch, and picking  up the blanket I had kicked onto the floor, “You gonna use it?” James asked, watching me as I walked towards him and sat down next to him again.

I shook my head, “Nope, go for it.” I said, keeping a respectable half-foot between us. As much as I’d love to snuggle up to him, I'm not sure if he would.

He laughed softly again, the sound making butterflies flutter in my stomach, “This blanket isn't too warm. How did you and Lars survive living here for more than a few days? It's like the Arctic here!” 

I gave a small laugh and shrugged at his comment, “I'm not sure, guess we just.. adapted.”

James smiled lightly, “I like your laugh, it's.. cute.” He admitted softly, causing me to feel like my face was on fire.

The butterflies were no longer fluttering, but fighting and dancing with each other to get out. I had to force myself to speak, or think. “Oh, uhm..” The words wouldn't come out, I felt like an idiot.

This moment felt like years and years, though it was thirty seconds. Though, James beat me to speak.

“I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I didn't mean it like that if that's-” He said guiltily before I cut him off,

“No, no, sorry, just, spaced out again. Thank you.” My words were rushed and embarrassed. I still couldn't get over the compliment. It wasn't even a real compliment, just a comment on my laugh.

The room had an awkward, uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. I felt like I could start sweating, which I did. A small bead of sweat formed on my forehead, which I wiped away.

“Why are you sweating? It's cold in here.” James questioned me, which I shook my head in response to.

“No, I'm fine,” I mumbled out, fidgeting with my thumbs.

James nodded, “Alright, well, if you aren't, then I'll turn on the heater if you don't mind.” He said, already walking towards the heater.

I sighed, nodding and forcing a smile, maybe he didn't feel how I did about him, “Sure, go ahead.”

He pushed buttons on the thermostat, trying to get it to turn on, grumbling a few ‘cmons’ to himself as he tried to heat the cabin, which failed. He groaned in annoyance,

“The damn thing won't work! I'm gonna freeze to death in here!” He complained, which he seemed to do a lot of.

I was starting to cool down, even though my face was still slightly warm. Was I really that needy for him? Pathetic.

James sat back down on the couch, though leaving no gap like how I had. The heat of my face began to build again, only after a short break of peace. He stretched his arms out, his long, strong arms across the top of the couch, like how they did in cheesy rom-com. 

His fingers brushed my shoulder, making me tense slightly. He had to know what he was doing. As if he knew how I felt, he moved even closer, our legs now touching, even with his blanket on his legs. I glanced up at him, catching his gaze. Was he staring at me? I didn't know if I should say something, but holding eye contact like this, this close, just felt.. Weird. It was something I had only dreamed of, except my dreams were never this awkward.

“What's up?” I forced myself to ask, dying to break the awkward silence.

James shrugged, “Nothing, just..” He trailed off, his eyes still on mine.

I could feel a change in the air, no longer friendly, but now with a hint of something more. 

I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he was so captivating, and he couldn't let go of my eyes either. 

Eventually, I couldn't stand the tension, deciding that it'd be best if I started to get ready for bed. “Uhm, I'm gonna start getting ready and put on my pajamas,” I said softly, breaking my eyes away from his as I got up and walked towards the bathroom.

James nodded, “Alright.” He acknowledged, waiting for me to return as his eyes followed me until I vanished into the bathroom.

I stood in there, staring at the mirror. For once I felt the coldness James was talking about. Maybe it was the room, maybe it was the tension, or maybe it was how I felt for him truly bubbling to the surface. I've always had a massive crush on him, but we've only had maybe 4 conversations alone that had nothing to do with the band or Lars. 

I took a deep breath, quickly changing out of my sweatpants and t-shirt island into a tank top and shorts, which was not practical for weather like this, but it's what I had. I opened the door and stepped out into the living room. I was freezing and didn't see James, which confused me.

“In here,” James called out from Lars and his room. I spun around, walking down the short hallway and into the doorway, seeing him sitting on the bed in a shirt and sleep pants. I was shivering slightly, the cold air stinging my skin for the first time since the rest of the band had left. It was a relief, though I quickly got tired of the cold.

“Ya cold? You're shaking a bit.” James noticed, and I could feel his eyes raking over my now more revealed figure.

I was never one to wear smaller, skimpier clothes, so this was a sight few got to see, and I never expected James Hetfield, my crush of 3 years to see me like this. I still handt answered and a few seconds had passed. I shrugged with a nod, 

“Yeah, a bit,” I admitted, crossing my arms on my chest as I tried to rub my hands up and down my arms to warm myself up.

“Maybe I could. Warm you up a bit?” He asked, slightly hesitant. His eyes didn't meet mine, as they were too busy tracing my figure.

I froze a bit. There were so many ways to interpret that. A blanket? Warm drink? Cuddling? Making out? Or even-

“Like cuddling, or, if you don't want to it's fine.” He muttered, embarrassed that he even asked.

I nodded, a small blush creeping up on my cheeks, “Oh, uh, sure, yeah..” I agreed softly, walking towards him as he moved across the bed, lying down, and getting under the covers. I sat down on the bed, giving him a glance at the question, which he didn't answer, but I took it as a yes. I lay down next to him, moving closer, feeling his arms wrap around my waist, making my face burn up again. James pressed his chest against my back, I could feel every muscle of his against my back, my heart beating faster.

“You ok? You seem tense.” James questioned me, and he was right, I don't think I’ve ever been more nervous and excited at once.

“No, I'm fine,” I muttered. Though, he wanted to test that. It was almost like he knew that he was the source of the tension in my body. He moved closer, pressing himself against me, making me burn red in my cheeks, and my heart beat faster if that was even possible.

“Am I bothering you? I'm not that scary, I promise.” He teased me.

I tensed slightly at his teasing, how could I ever play this down? It was clear he knew what he was doing, and it was driving me crazy.

“No, I'm fine, James,” I muttered, my words rushed.

He chuckled softly at my reaction, leaning his face closer to the back of my neck, his warm breath causing goosebumps. It was getting harder to deny what he was doing was having a major effect on me. His lips ghosted the back of my neck, making me bite back a whine of need, feeling heat pool between my kegs.

As much as I had dreamt of this moment, god, it was torturous. 

After another minute of his teasing, I couldn't take any more of it. I rolled onto my side, now facing him, my eyes meeting his. He gave a sly smirk, which only seemed to irritate me. We stared at each other for what felt like years, though it was mere seconds. Slowly, I leaned into him, pressing a soft, gentle, and loving kiss to his lips, and he reciprocated. This was something I had only ever dreamed of. 

The kiss felt like hours, though it was brief. We pulled back from each other, our eyes meeting, a small smile on both of our lips.

“You aren't great at hiding your feelings, you know?” James teased me. I rolled my eyes,

“Oh shut up, James,” I mumbled against his lips before kissing him again, this time with more need and freedom.

He nipped at my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I allowed, and what was once an awkward night on the couch changed into a steamy makeout session in bed.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer as he tangled his fingers in my hair.

The moment only grew more intense, a plethora of soft moans and groans escaping our lips. I had never felt so alive, so good.

We began to run out of breath, pulling away and gasping for breath. James pulled me on top of his, kissing him again. 

No words left our mouths, just filthy noises as we ravished each other's mouths. I straddled his hips with my legs, making him groan as I hovered above him. He pulled away from the kiss, staring up at me in awe,

“God, you're something else..” He mumbled, snaking his hands under my tanktop, pulling it over my head, exposing my breaths, my nipples hardening at the cold air, making me shiver slightly as goosebumps rose on my skin.

He groaned at the sigh, his hands reaching up to toy with them, making me moan softly, causing him to smirk, “You sound so pretty..” He murmured, squeezing them and pinching my nipples making me squeal.

I reached my hands down towards his shoulders, trailing my fingers down to the hem of his shirt, taking it off of him and seeing his sculpted body, making me blush at the sight. 

I had never imagined that this trip would lead to this, but I was loving every minute of it. 

My eyes roamed over his chest, taking in the sight I dreamed of. He noticed my staring, giving me a teasing grin,

“What? See something you like?” He teased me with that stupid grin. I rolled my eyes, moving off his lap so I could remove his pants, dragging them down his legs to reveal his hardness pressing against his boxers, making me smirk a little at the sight. 

I couldn't help but tease him a little, similar to how he did me, gently tracing the outline of it with my finger, making him groan at my touch, light as a feather. 

He adjusted, sitting up more, leaving me with better access as I snaked between his legs, continuing to toy with him, darting my tongue out, tracing along the fabric, earning me a much louder groan.

“You're cruel..” He groaned out, gripping my hair. I chuckled at his complaints and groans,

“You were doing the same thing to me just a bit ago..” I teased him back in response, which he wasn't pleased with, groaning again as he tightened the grip on my hair.

After a few more minutes of torturing him, milking him of his whines and groans before pulling away, admiring the wet spot now clearly evident on his boxers. I glanced up at him, wanting to make sure he wanted to do this.

“Are you sure?” I asked though I was praying full-heartedly that he'd say yes.

He nodded, “Fuck yes Im sure, hurry up..” He groaned, and I smiled, pulling down his boxers.

I gawked at the size, his cock standing proud and tall, and I could feel myself growing wetter at the sight alone.

I paused for a moment, staring down at his erection and back up at him. I had only had sex once or twice, and I was slightly unsure of what to do, which James took notice of.

“If you do not want to, that's fine, I don't wanna make you-” I quickly cut him off,

“No, this is something I've wanted forever, James. Just, I'm a bit nervous. I've only done things like this once or twice.” I admitted, embarrassed by my inexperience, especially in front of a guy who probably gets with groupies every night or so.

James nodded understandingly, sensing my fear. “That's fine, I'll guide you.” He assured me, and it helped a bit.

I nodded, sitting up and slipping out of my shorts, leaving both of us naked except for my panties. James couldn't take his eyes off me, reaching his hand out to the waistband before glancing up at me,

“Can I?” He asked gently, to which I nodded quickly, watching as the garment was discarded, James tossing it to the floor and his eyes raked over my fully exposed form, taking in every detail as if he was putting it to memory. I waited a moment before sitting back on him, straddling him, my hips hovering over his tip. 

I glanced at him again, not wanting to rush things. He nodded, giving me the final ok as I sank onto him, a loud moan escaping my throat as he groaned, filling me fully and instinctively reaching for my hips, which he gripped so tightly I was sure he'd leave bruises. I sat there a moment, still adjusting to his size, as he was much bigger than the other man I had been with, I didn't feel anything, at least emotionally, but now I did.

Slowly, he began to thrust his hips up, making me moan as I slowly matched his movements, riding him as he pumped himself deeper into me.

Each of his movements allowed filthy, obscene noises to escape my lips. He moved my mouth to my neck, kissing and sucking on my sensitive flesh, stimulating me greatly, causing,e to whine and moan more.

James was breathing heavily on my neck, groaning with each thrust, “God, you're so beautiful.. So tight.. So pretty, all for me..” He groaned against my neck, slowly increasing his pace, and making me moan louder.

I needed to hold something, gripping his shoulders and digging my nails into his flesh, making him hiss through his teeth as he continued to pump into me.

I could feel myself growing tighter, clenching around him as I neared my release.

As if the pleasure couldn't grow anymore, he reached his thumb down and began to toy with my clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure and need through me, making me moan louder as he continued to leave hickeys and bite marks all over my neck, marking me as his.

“You're doing so well.. Taking me so well.. You're so good..” He whispered praises to me in between his kisses, making me whine.

He continued all of his ministrations, rubbing my clit and sucking on my neck, pumping his cock deeper, faster, and harder into me, all overwhelming my senses.

“Fuck.. James, I.. I'm gonna..” I moaned out, feeling myself clench around him tighter as he groaned louder.

“Me too, baby.. Just let go..” He whispered to me, and with one final, harsh rub to my clit I came undone around him, moaning his name so loud that anyone nearby probably heard, but I didn't care. The man I've wanted for years just made me feel so good, and now he's mine, and I'm his.

He came at the same time, shooting his load deep into me, painting my insides white.

My hole continued to milk him of every last drop, pulsing around him until I could feel him soften, pulling his face away from my neck and resting my forehead against his.

“I love you, James. I have since we met..” I whispered to him, and he smiled softly in response.

“I love you too.” He murmured back to me, kissing me gently and the lips as I pulled off of him, laying down beside him as he stood up, “I’ll go get a towel to clean us up, ok?” He informed me, and I nodded with a smile.

He returned with a damp washcloth and a dry towel, carefully wiping up my most sensitive areas, not wanting to hurt me. 

After he finished, he laid back down next to me, wrapping his arms around me, whispering sweet nothings and praises to me as we slowly fell asleep.

“I love you.. You're so beautiful..” James mumbled to me softly before falling asleep, and I followed soon after.

In the morning

As the sun rose, the snow slowly began to melt, freeing the door of its lack of movement.

The rest of the guys had returned, having gotten so drunk they decided to stay at a different hotel for the night.

I woke up to the sound of the front door opening, too groggy and half asleep to get up and see who or what it was, moving closer to James’ hold, which he seemed to enjoy in his sleep. I glanced around the room, taking in the surroundings.

Our clothes were scattered on the floor that surrounded the bed, though I didn't pay it any mind, as no one would come in or care.

Though, it seems I had thought wring when Lars barged through the door.

“What the fuck happened here?” He yelled out at James and me. The sight was a messy one, the two of us cuddled up, limbs sprawled, hair messy, various hickies and marks on my neck, and with our clothes all over the floor didn't paint a good light.

I was quickly snapped out of my sleepy state, pulling the blanket over my chest as James began to wake up.

“Get out!” I shouted at my brother.

He had seen me with a guy one other time, but that guy wasn't his best friend or his bandmate. He didn't move for a moment, just shaking his head as James groaned, still waking up.

“..What..?” James asked, his voice groggy and full of sleep, rubbing his eyes as he took in the sight of Lars in the bed frame, the other guys not far behind him.

“Did you sleep with my sister?” Lars called back at James.

I could feel my face heating up, god how embarrassing this was.

“I said get out you dickhole!” I yelled back at Lars, who scoffed and shut the door.

James was still half asleep, looking at me, slightly confused, “What's going on..?” He asked me sleepily.

“Lars isn't happy that I fucked you,” I admitted, still really embarrassed about this.

James scoffed, “Whatever, I’ll talk to him.” He muttered, tossing his arm around me.

“What will you tell him? He seems to have quite the stick up his ass about this.” I complained, my eyes meeting his.

“That I love you.” He answered with a smile, kissing me gently on the lips.

[aerithisms]

hi! i was wondering if you could share some of your favorite faberry fanfics? :)

oh ABSOLUTELY bestie come with me on a journey where i embarrass myself by revealing just how much time i've spent reading this stuff over the past few months

you're the trouble i always find by mooosicaldreamz

quinn and rachel meet again as adults when rachel gets cast as the lead on the tv show quinn's writing. fun fact i read this one before i even watched the show because i was bored and it was such a love letter to glee and faberry that it singlehandedly compelled me to watch it and now here we are

stays in vegas by gayerfurtherfaster

the glee club is in vegas for a reunion and when rachel and quinn wake up to discover that they're married they have to retrace their steps from the night before. this one is adorable and so FUNNY i love it a lot

various works by forforever19

forforever19 is a hero of modern society who has written TONS of faberry fic over the last couple of years that i've barely scratched the surface of so i'm sure if you frequent the faberry ao3 you've seen them around but here are some i've read and liked: waiting for a girl like you (alternate take on the wedding fiasco), worth the wait (rachel's college roommate pulls her head out of her ass), to last a lifetime (a vehicle for lots of cute vignettes), meant to be (amnesia fic because i live for the drama), just my soul responding (soulmate au), and one single thread of gold (tied me to you) (also a soulmate au lol)

we are lead (to those who help us most to grow) by nightshifted

alternate take on season 1 quinn and her mental state during the pregnancy storyline after she moves in with mercedes. features the quinncedes friendship we deserve and ofc faberry being in love

you say you've gone away from me (but i can feel you when i breathe) by yumi_michiyo

completely canon compliant post-canon fix-it fic that takes quinn's "and i donated the egg" joke line literally and features quinn and rachel finding their way back to each other through being surrogates for the klaine baby. this fic is my official headcanon for what happens after the finale because i think it's so lovely and treats the characters well

simple parts by flyingflesheater

time travel au where senior year quinn and rachel travel forward to find themselves married in the future. i'm always a sucker for the drama of the time travel trope and i thought the family dynamic in this one was especially interesting

devolution by poetzproblem

alternate take on season 3 quinn that really digs into her psyche during that time in the show. it's lighter on the faberry (though the faberry is there!) in favour of character study and i think it does quinn so much justice. also features really sweet quinntana friendship

poetzproblem is another one of those people who's written a LOT of faberry over the years that i'm sure you've heard of and i haven't read anything close to all of it (i haven't tackled their mammoth don't blink series yet but i have faith that it slaps) but i also loved magical mystery tour, a cute time travel flash forward fic (time travel seems to be a big trope in faberry fandom for some reason? i'm into it) and acceptance/remembrance, in which hollywood actress quinn fabray keeps thanking a mysterious rachel berry in her awards acceptance speeches

take these broken wings series by celaenos

canon divergence that follows what quinn's journey might've been like if she kept beth. haven't finished this one yet (mostly because i adore it and i want to savour it lol) but i love this quinn and the found family of it all so, so much. strongly features her friendship with my himbo king sam evans

you and her loathing this cruel world by thememoriesfire

thememoriesfire seems to have been a pretty big name author back in the day and i haven't read either of their biggest faberry fics yet but i really love this one, where it's kurt that quinn gets pregnant with instead of puck, and quinn, kurt, sam and rachel form one big unconventional family

sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything by andawaywego

i've read a few fics by this author and so far they've all been great but this one sticks to me the most. finn's death is such a difficult subject, especially for fanfiction, since it's so wrapped up in the death of a real world person, but i thought this fic handled it in a very delicate way and had such a thoughtful exploration of how rachel might deal with that grief while falling for someone new

mistyheartrbs (also my beloved mutual @mistyheartrbs here on tumblr dot com) has written a ton of faberry fic that i've barely started digging into but this recent missing scene fic set during season 3 made me feel insane so i offer it as a place to start

gonna stop there and i'm sure i'm forgetting something i loved but there is so much good faberry fic out there it's the best!! i don't usually end up into fandoms where the fic writing scene is this prolific and i'm having a lot of fun indulging in the backlog

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Long AU’s (2) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: November 8th, 2021

part one

A Map of My Heart and Mind (ao3) - Cadensaurus (orphan_account)

Summary: Dan and Phil get drunk and wake up married in Vegas, the day after Dan's 25th birthday. Dan thinks they could just get it annulled but Dan knows what marriage means to Phil, how important it is, and he wonders if they can just fake it for a year so it's not a total waste and then divorce. Of course, a year is a long time to pretend to be married and things can always change...

antisocialites watch a wilting flower (ao3) - det395

Summary: Phil's an emotionally attached and loving vet and Dan's the drained receptionist with no dreams at the animal shelter who reconnect over the poor, hurt puppy dropped off. Dan's boyfriend is their boss.

Black Blood - howellester8791

Summary: Dan is a vampire hunter, one of the best in the entire London, and he has to solve the mistery of the “Blue-eyed vampire of Haze”. But when he meets the vampire, something in Dan changes and he’ll find out that the enemy is not this pale, dorky, black haired and blue-eyed vampire named Phil.

bruising the sun (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: the bedsharing friends to lovers roommates au i was always destined to write

can't breathe when you touch my sleeve (ao3) - dayevsphil

Summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it's basically a meme. Now he's got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he'd had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

coffee at midnight (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: A recent trauma has lead Phil to embrace a ‘try new things’ approach to his life. One of those new things is learning how to swim, and Dan is the lifeguard who’s going to teach him.

Desires (ao3) - A_Million_Regrets

Summary: What would you do if you were suddenly hauled from your inauspicious life and dumped into an unforeseen catastrophe with your worst enemy?

Dan Howell and Phil Lester completely and utterly hate each other. They fight every time they meet, and all of their friends are tired of it. But one day, these two hot-headed, reckless men stumble through a secret passage in a mysterious old house and wake up on a strange island uninhabited by other intelligent life forms. They only have each other and no way to escape. Will they fight to death, or will they learn to trust each other in a world where no one else exists? Can they put aside their mutual hatred for each other to survive this misfortune?

Don’t Ask Me How I’ve Been (Fake Happy) (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan Howell is an up and coming actor in a closeted relationship with a man who isn’t ready to admit his sexuality. Phil is their Uber driver for a very important awards show. Things don’t go exactly to plan, but maybe that’s a good thing? Based on the short film “Papercut” by Omad Productions.

Emergency Substitute (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: “You could always charm Phil for us,” Jack suggests. “Throw him off his game.”

“Right, yeah,” Dan says sarcastically. “Midway through the match I’ll just Summon his broom to me and he'll fall off and then Gryffindor’ll automatically win.”

“I didn’t mean that kind of charm,” Jack says, under his breath.

In which Dan is roped into playing Quidditch when all he really wants is a quiet life. And for Phil to never leave Hogwarts.

In Any World (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Returning home after his second world tour, Dan feels lost, bored, and without direction.

But things are about to get much more exciting when, while reading fanfiction in the bath, Dan slips, hits his head, and passes out. When he wakes up, it’s to a world that definitely isn’t the one he came from, especially because his best friend is in bed with him.

And if he thinks that is strange, things are about to get a whole lot weirder.

My Love is on the High Seas (ao3) - TheKidFromYesterday

Summary: After being accidentally kidnapped by pirates, Dan realizes that just maybe, his heart has been stolen as well.

Ships that pass in the night - jestbee

Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

Shut Your Mouth and Listen Closely (ao3) - SimplyUndead

Summary: Dan is mute with an unfortunate past. Phil is a nice boy with a warm heart and love to give.

slutville, population two (ao3) - dayevsphil

Summary: Dan and Phil both have reputations for sleeping around. Their friends don't think they could hold down a relationship if they wanted to. Sounds like a challenge to them.

In Dan's defense, tequila makes anything seem like a good idea.

There You Were (Inside My Brain) (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: “So, like, you email that to me, right? The notes? Is that how this works?”

“Right,” Phil says. "Yeah, I email them to you.”

“That's great," Dan says. "So I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I'll meet you outside the...”

But Dan doesn't stick around. He turns on his heel and escapes down the corridor, feeling like he might actually die of embarrassment.

In which Dan needs someone to take notes for him in lectures and he ends up with Phil. Now if only he could get past his own awkwardness and just talk to the guy...

the water might be lovely (ao3) - isleofbants

Summary: Dan, utterly fed up with uni, runs away to the Isle of Man.

Seeking escape, he gets more than he bargained for when he rents a room out from happy-go-lucky, recent grad, Phil Lester.

This Could be the End of Everything (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan’s finally starting university, the phase of his life he’s been waiting for since he was a small child. His first real chance at freedom, away from his parents. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans for him.

Through the Window (ao3) - Tastefulcucumber

Summary: Phil just moved in next door to Dan Howell, the amazing basketball star and winner of the best hair in mock elections. Phil can't help but noticing that a room in his new house has a window that leads straight into Dan's bedroom, and he happens to spend quite of bit of time in said room.

You and I against the World (ao3) - my_happy_little_bean

Summary: Dan and Phil are top MI5 agents, partners, and best friends. But when a party goes wrong and Dan is kidnapped, Phil is thrown into a chaos only he can get out of. Between mysterious clues, vengeful friends, hidden feelings, and sleeping with your bestie, he believes his social life may be harder than his actual job

Your Crowning Glory (ao3) - pasteldanhowells, rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan is 18 years old when the news is suddenly sprung upon him that he is next line to be the next king of Genovia, but things don’t go as smoothly as he thought, between having a suddenly busy schedule, a new lifestyle, an arranged marriage that Dan has no control over, and worst of all, Philip Lester trying to steal his crown.

[ubernoxa]

The Slippery Slope: An Izzy Stradlin Fanfiction

Chapter 1: Penguin on a Leash

MASTERLIST

Story Summary: 6 Chapter mini series about Izzy meeting a biologists who works at the zoo. Takes place after his time with Guns an’ Roses

Izzy watched the penguins swim around in their habitat trying to understand what all the hype was about. Lafayette had fliers and banners advertising the new baby penguins that were born at the zoo only a couple of weeks before he moved back to his hometown. After quickly realizing that he had fallen into a rut since leaving Guns N’ Roses, he decided to mix things up and visit the zoo to see these overhyped penguins and alleged peaceful gardens that were pictured in half the advertisements he saw.

It was around 2 pm, and Poppy felt relief that there were no children tours on Fridays. Since it was slow she was granted the permission to take one of the injured penguins on a walk. This was without a doubt one of those moments when she was glad that she went to college.

“Yeah Phil, that’s where you will live once your flipper gets a little better,” Izzy’s attention was pulled from watching the penguins swim about when he heart the soft voice followed by some form of squawking and giggles.

“Yeah, and then once you are fully healed, you get to go back to Chile!” Izzy found the soft voice to be a girl, probably only a few years younger than him, talking to one of the penguins who she had on a leash. Maybe it would have been considered weird, but after touring with Guns, the bar for what was actually weird was high. Girl dressed in full wetsuit while walking around a penguin on a leash just wasn’t weird enough.

“What’s wrong with his flipper?” Poppy’s attention was pulled from her penguin when Izzy spoke. She sent a soft smile towards Izzy, just another zoo patron. She felt a sigh escape her as she quickly looked around to make sure they were alone.

“Poor thing was found cut up on a beach. We’re guessing that he got cut up by a piece of steel, but he is healing really well, such a trooper. I will be sad to see him go,” Izzy held onto every word as she spoke. It was clear that she loved her penguin friend. With her soaked hair and wetsuit, he wondered if she recent went swimming with the penguin.

“Did you two just come from a swim?”

Izzy felt a small smile grow on his face as she giggled at his question.

“No. Before this walk I was checking up on a Dolphin and Edward startled me causing me to fall into the water....I swear sometimes dolphins can be really rude,” Poppy fwlt small butterflies begin to flap their wings in her stomach. The nerves were beginning to soar.

Poppy smiled as Izzy listened to her go on and on about how their little zoo volunteered to help Phil the penguin get better. He was her pride and joy, and there was no doubt that she would be crying when he went back to the wild. They would be happy tears, but tears none the less.

Poppy was shocked when Izzy hadn’t started to show disinterest half way through her rambling. Little did she know that not only was Izzy actually interested, but he was also used to someone rambling about animals. The penguins were a good change from snakes.

“Do you only work with penguins?”

“No, I work with most of the water creatures here. I stay away from the reptile house, those snakes creep me out. I don’t trust them,” Poppy felt a shiver travel through her as she thought of the snakes, or danger noodles as she called them behind closed doors. It wasn’t professional for someone who had a doctorate in zoology to call snakes danger noodles...even if that’s what they were.

“I’m Poppy by the way,” she sent a warm smile Izzy’s way after silence filled the air in between them.

“Izzy,” Izzy reached out his hand and quickly shook Poppy’s wet hand. He was almost shocked she hadn’t recognized him.

“Is this your first time here in the zoo?” Poppy asked hoping to keep the conversation alive. He was definitely the quiet type, but she liked that. She also liked that he was incredibly hot.

“I haven’t been here for at least 15 years....” Izzy watched the penguin Poppy was walking look at the photos of penguins that hung on the wall for decoration. Izzy decided it was strange seeing a penguin outside of its inclosure, but he figured it was strange seeing a rockstar in a zoo.

“Well I have only been here for one year, but a lot has changed. I’m already giving Phil, my penguin buddy here, a tour...would you like to join us? It would help me look more normal because I would be talking to an actual human instead of just a penguin. All that I ask would be for you to help keep your eyes out for any zoo patrons. I’m supposed to be avoiding visitors,” she hoped, no prayed that Izzy would join her. It was clear that he wasn’t from around here by the way he dressed, and she wanted to know what type of cowboy wore a floppy hat like the ones they worse in the musical Newsies.

After a quick chuckle, Izzy replied. “Well you haven’t been very good about staying away from zoo visitors, so I think you could use the help.” Truth be told, Izzy almost said no, but there was something about her silver eyes that caught his attention.

Poppy spent the next couple of hours giving Izzy the most in depth tour she could. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was definitely showing off. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had listened to her ramble this much, and she was going to take full advantage of it. She could hear her mother in the back of her head lecturing her on how she was boring the poor boy to death, but whenever he asked a question or sent a small smile her way she pushed that thought to the back of her head.

Izzy quickly learned that he could listen to her talk about her animals all day. Her silver eyes appeared a little greener whenever she talked about them. Her cheeks would blush and the tips of her ears would turn a little red whenever she apologizes for rambling, but Izzy would always reassure her that it was fine. This only made her cheeks go redder. He had to admit, it was pretty cute.

“That ones name is Edward. He is the one who startled me this morning resulting in me falling into the water,” Poppy pointed at one of the larger dolphins in the far right corner.

“He is defiantly my favorite then,” Izzy teased while looking the aquatic beast up and down.

“Edward doesn’t seem like a dolphin name,” he added walking over towards the dolphin she pointed out. He took another sip of the water that she had given him earlier in the tour. With all of their walking she didn’t want him to get dehydrated.

“That’s why I call him Axl,” this caught Izzy off guard causing him to choke on his water. After a couple of coughs he was able to regain his composure.

“Axl?”

“Yeah of Guns N’ Roses...he’s the lead singer, and according to the tabloids he is horny dick. Edward here shares a similar personality. I heard in a interview not too long ago that Axl is apparently from Lafayette, so I thought it was perfect,” she shrugged before she went back to watching the penguin who was clearly interested in his dolphin ‘friends’.

Izzy smirked as he watched dolphin Axl swim around. He wondered if she was a fan of Guns N’ Roses or just heard of the music. It was almost impossible to avoid hearing about the band. He had been trying to avoid the band entirely for weeks now. Bottom line, he appreciated that she didn’t know who he was. What he was or used to be.

“Looks like Axl is taking a liking to you,” she giggled as she pointed towards the dolphin that was clearly staring at him. Poppy giggled as Izzy moved left and right trying to test to see if the dolphin was actually looking at him. He felt like a fool, but her laugh was worth him making a fool of himself.

“If you ever want to go swimming with your new buddy, let me know. Usually Axl doesn’t like guys, but he seems like he wouldn’t be against swimming with you,” he turned to see the girl smiling from ear to ear.

“No, I’m good. I don’t feel like dealing with a horny Axl,” this earned a giggle from Poppy. It was true though, he had dealt enough with his Axl’s bull shit for years, and he didn’t need to meet the dolphin version.

“Well.....if you ever change your mind,” Poppy walked over towards a small table filled with fliers and grabbed one. She quickly flipped to the page that had her picture on it and wrote her phone number on it.

“This is my personal number, feel free to call it to go swimming....or...if you want to talk about other things. I’m sure you have heard enough about sea creatures to last you a while,” Poppy felt her cheeks flash red as she turned her focus towards the penguin, too intimidated to look Izzy in the eyes.

“Sure,” he said before she waved goodbye and headed behind a staff only door, penguin right behind her.

He opened the brochure and looked at the about our staff page she had written her number on. She looked very different in that photo. Her wetsuit was replaced by a white lab coat where the red hair that framed her face caused her freckles to stand out even more.

Doctor Poppy Thomas is our second aquatic specialist. As a proud Indiana Alumni, Dr Poppy earned her masters and PHD at Purdue University with a focus on animal rehabilitation and psychology. Poppy joined us during the Summer of 1990, and has become a quick favorite amongst the penguins.

Poppy couldn’t help the smile that was plastered on her face as she brought Philip back to the rehab room. She couldn’t believe that she had actually given someone her phone number. She was so proud of herself. Was it professional? No.

Did she do it anyway? Yes.

Plus if anyone asked she could just give a little while lie and say that he was writing a paper and needed to get a hold of her.

“Someone is in a good mood,” Poppy looked over towards Dr Elliot who was reading some academic journal.

“Went on a walk with Philip, he is moving his arm a lot better. He appears to almost have full range. Don’t ya buddy?” Poppy looked at the penguin who was minding his own business.

“Ohh good to hear Poppy!” Sally, one of their technicians, cheered while helping Poppy take off the harness.

“So who was the guy you were showing around? Was he someone who donated a lot of money or something?” Sally asked the moment Dr Elliot left the room.

Despite only being a vet technician, she had more experience with how their Zoo worked than Poppy. Sally had worked at the Zoo for over 10 years, and no one gets a tour unless they are someone special. Now if they were special to Poppy or to the Zoo was a totally different question.

“No, just a visiting paying patron of the zoo,” Poppy shrugged back.

Sally smirked as she saw the red hues fill Poppy’s cheeks. Did someone have a small crush?

“A cute paying patron?”

“I...uhhh...I didn’t notice,” this only earned a laugh from Sally.

“Ohh honey...one of the volunteers asked me why you were giving a tour to a cute guy who looked to be about you age ,” Sally smirked the entire time she was talking.

Poppy just brushed off her comment and went to change out of her wetsuit. Sally was married with two children, so she lived through Poppy. It was something Poppy had grown used to. Whether it was Sally telling her to go out to a bar or to see some concert, Sally would make the recommendations. Her recommendations would also include guys to date, her very unwanted recommendations.

Poppy then spent the rest of the day checking up on the other animals, Izzy never slipping her mind. She then drove home, trying to get her mind off of the boy she gave a tour to. She sang along to songs on the radio all while feeling bad for anyone nearby who heard her poor vocal skills. Once she got home, she walked into her cozy one bedroom apartment and immediately walked over towards her kitchen and began to cook. The entire time she never took her eyes off of the phone.

She grew impatient as dinner turned into watching a show which turned into showering and heading to bed. All hope of Izzy calling her diminished as she curled up under the covers.

Almost in parallel Izzy sat on his couch, silence filling the air. He had debated back and forth on whether or not to call her. He could hear his band mates...ex-bandmates in the back of his head giving him their unwanted advice. Axl was saying to move on, he was a rockstar and she was nothing. Slash was saying something about how she would be a good fuck because doctors know the human anatomy best. Steven and Duff were saying to go for it because she was cute. He let a groan escape him as he plopped down on the couch. Chicks were so much easier when he was in a band.

Izzy soon found himself digging through his bag that was filled with sheet music and other crap, eventually finding the flier with her number. He then found his phone and dialed the number, hoping it wasn’t too late. He turned towards the large black clock that hung on the wall. He cussed to himself as he noticed it was 3 in the morning.

He had almost lost hope when the phone continued to ring, but he felt a smile cross his face when he heard a groggy hello from the other end.

“Hey, Poppy? This is Izzy.”

[jestbee]

Jestbee’s 2019 Fic Masterlist

Here is a list of all the fics I wrote and posted in 2019 (apologies for the long post)

PHAN

Chaptered

In Any World (44,925 words)  E Returning home after his second world tour, Dan feels lost, bored, and without direction. But things are about to get much more exciting when, while reading fanfiction in the bath, Dan slips, hits his head, and passes out. When he wakes up, it's to a world that definitely isn't the one he came from, especially because his best friend is in bed with him. And if he thinks that is strange, things are about to get a whole lot weirder.

One-shots

sensitive (2,795 words) [written with @intoapuddle] E "Do you like it?" Phil asks again. He doesn't know why he wants to hear Dan say it, but he does. "I like it," Dan nods, tipping his back to bare his neck to Phil's teeth.

watch and be watched (3,187 words) E There is something inherently intimate about watching, about being watched.

picture imperfect (6,637 words) [written with @intoapuddle]  E He knows Dan hates to be patient. What he wants is for Phil to get on with it, to overwhelm him with sensation so much that he can no longer think about all the expectations he's failing to fulfill. But Phil knows better.

thought of you often (6,805 words) E On Daniel's twenty first birthday, a man walks into his banquet hall that he hasn't seen in years.

dipping in (2,690 words) E "So many dips," Phil says. "You'll never use them all." "Wanna bet?"

hurry up and wait (8,246 words) M This is a bad date. Dan usually would have bailed out ages ago. Phil is just some bloke he picked up in a bar, so it isn't like he's invested. The problem, and it's one Dan has been wrestling with all night, is that Phil is incredibly hot.

Dropping Anchor in a Storm (4,384 words) T Phil wakes in the early hours to a thin beam of sunlight breaking through his curtains, and the soft sound of Dan breathing by his side. He should be able to bask in the peace and stillness of the room, but his brain won't let him do that today.

a shrewd bow (2,788 words) E "You're a fucking brat," is the first thing he says.Dan nods. His knees ache, thighs already cramping from how spread they are. "I know."

stripping us to chrome (1,596 words) T Sometimes when I look in your eyes I could swear I see your soul or Dan has always looked at Phil with such fondness

render safe, contain (4,462 words)  M Dan and Phil are Bomb Disposal Technicians and have to work together to diffuse a rickety rig with a timer counting all the way down to zero. Dan's been in love with Phil for forever, so he's trying to do everything properly, but Phil wants to dive in head first. Whichever way they do it - There's bound to be explosive results.

Traffic of our stage (1,850 words) T Phil learns that Shakepeare makes dick jokes, and Dan learns his lines

in a changing age (7,868 words) M Phil is breathless and happy by the time they are back in the hallway of Baker Street, and as they lean against the wall, their heads beside each other, Phil thinks that he might have kissed him then.

after the rain (3,113 words) M they meet at pride

invincible (1,426 words) G the first day after is like a breath of fresh air

how do I look? (1,351 words) T Of course the truly spectacular looking shop assistant just saw him in his pants, because that's just the type of luck Phil has.

Climb Down (6,826 words) T Dan is three stories up while Phil is below, shouting to each other across the distance. He feels likes he is trapped up here in his tower, waiting for someone to rescue him, perhaps.

they just don't get it (1,130 words) T Dan sometimes jokes about things that aren't a joke

Above the city lights (1,275 words) M Dan is dragged away from the office party

up for the new buzz (2,365 words) T Dan remembers getting his ears pierced and how he'd felt so adult at the time, like he'd done something revolutionary and rebellious. But it hadn't been in a place like this, it had been tame in comparison to the type of world he's just walked into with no idea if he's out of his depth.

And miles to go (2,561 words) T Phil contemplates the keeping of promises on their second world tour

WIPS

As the Smoke Clears (32,669 words) M Dan hates being a wizard, but magic demands to be used.

Some Other Light (28,193 words) M Dan works the night shift because it's easier to exist in the dark

Parallel Lines (34,553 words) M Dan and Phil run parallel, always together but always with distance between them. Until everything changes.

After All These Years (41,373 words) M They met her after tour. Martyn’s friend’s dog had puppies and Phil fell in love at first sight. Dan did too, but he’ll deny it if you ask. Dan tries to keep his distance, because she’s Phil’s dog not his, but she isn’t having any of it.

OTHER (stated)

Tend to me (1,895 words) M [Fall Whisperer - Dye/White] Dye tends to things, and they bloom

Mail Goblins and Borrowed Plates (4,280 words) M [Kickthestickz] Chris has a new flat with no furniture and a box of old things he's trying to avoid. Luckily, there's an interesting guy who lives just two doors down who might help him do that.

And some stats under the cut

FIC STATS

Total number of fics written: 27

Chaptered: 5 One-shots: 22

Ratings E: 7 (26%) M: 11 (41%) T: 8 (29%) G: 1 (4%)

Ongoing WIPs: 4

Number of fandoms/pairings: 3

Most popular (based on kudos): In Any World Most popular one-shot:  hurry up and wait Most popular chaptered:  In Any World

Total wordcount for the year: 219,930 (according to ao3 - my personal records fell apart round August this year for some reason)

Reflections: I wrote way more than I thought I did and yet I feel less relevant fic-wise than I have in previous years. Although my fics still do well overall, and I have some dedicated readers, I didn’t gain as many as previous years and I noticed that my fics did less well than previously. Probably due to a combination of me not conforming to the posting schedule everyone wants me to have, the hiatus, the fact that I expressed opinions about the hiatus. (idk if we’re still calling it a hiatus at this point but whatever) However, I really value the close friends I’ve made, the other writers that cheer me on and talk to me about fic which is my favourite thing, and the people that read everything I write. Without you guys I probably would have drifted away some time ago.  Thank you for letting me do some different stuff this year, try some different pairings and different genres. I’ll probably continue to do that if I write stuff once my wips are finished, but I also want to try and finish my original fiction novel, if only to say that I did it. 

Fic goals for 2020: Finish my wips, write more original fiction. 

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 32

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: i got a few requests like a trip to ireland to meet their parents and casual dates... and they were ideas I had already planned so yay haha we think alike! more of that date in next chapter. and theyll be going to his parents’ for christmas so ill write that too (all planned already lol) PLEASE tell me if its getting boring okay? thank you!

Chapter 32 : His chapter

NIALL

When my phone rang again, I was laying on top of Liv, kissing her slowly and deeply. I could feel myself still hard from going down on her and the way her hands moved on my body only amplified my libido. Her fingers ran down to the small of my back before reaching my butt over my boxers and without thinking, I bucked my hips against hers.

"Maybe you should answer the phone." she let out in a whisper, her lips brushing against mine.

"If it's her again i'm gonna be pissed." I admitted low, making Liv chuckle,.

If I only listened to myself, i'd keep kissing her all day but I just groaned and kept my eyes closed, trying to decide if I should just let it ring or get up and answer. It took me too long and it stopped ringing, probably letting the call reach my voicemail, and I smiled against her lips.

"Oops?"

She chuckled but I quickly pressed my lips back against hers, deepening the kiss immediately and closing my eyes again, focusing on her hands and the way her lips fitted perfectly with mine. I knew out bodies would too. It was so obvious to me now.

My phone rang again and this time, my girlfriend laughed while we were kissing. I pulled away and let my eyes roam on her face before sighing low.

"I don't care, i'm not answering."

Once again, I dipped my head down to kiss her, rubbing myself very slightly between her legs trying to get a release I was not sure I wanted to reach now. It took only a few seconds after my phone stopped ringing for it to start again and this time, I groaned in Liv's mouth before pulling away a bit, opening my eyes to meet hers. There was only one person who would insist and I knew that they'd keep calling until I'd pick up. Liv raised her eyebrows and her lips curled.

"Your mommy."

I raised my nose up, knowing she was most likely right and reluctantly, I peeled my body off of hers, getting off the bed to search through my pants. When I turned around, I notice Olivia smirking at me and raising her eyebrows up.

"That was a very nice view, can you bend down again?"

I chuckled and shook my head, raising my eyebrows at her.

"And you call me a pervert." I pointed out, making her chuckle before finally answering my phone. "Hey ma."

I stayed motionless, facing Liv as I chatted with my mother and noticed the way she was looking at me. I didn't know why but I liked it and when I finally hung up, I moved my hands up with a smile.

"What?" I just asked, making her chuckle low as she glanced down at my boxers.

"It's just... I really made a mess out of your boxers." she chuckled before pressing her lips hard together.

I frowned but looked down, noticing the wet spot on my boxers and suddenly realizing I had been standing between her legs only a few minutes ago after going down on her. I looked up with a smirk, raising my eyebrows and laughing a little.

"It's only the proof of the effect I have on you." I pointed out with a shrug, still smirking. I put my phone on the bedside table and turned back to her. "Now you can't deny it... ever."

I crawled on top of her and she started laughing.

"Why would I ever deny it?" she asked in a low tone as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

I smiled even more and kissed her, staying over the covers while she was laying under them. I felt attracted to her like a magnet and even if I knew it was a stupid comparison, it was exactly that. I couldn't be away from her for too long and anyway, I didn't want to. It took me so long to realize my feelings for her, I just wanted to make up for lost time.

"What did your mom want?" she finally asked after a while, her lips briefly parting from mine.

I didn't want to tell my mom that I had a new girlfriend over the phone and the fact that she knew Olivia and have for decades made things even more important to announce, or it seemed.

"Remind me to be there for Christmas." I chuckled. "As if i'd forget something like that."

I stopped talking and felt my heart jump in my chest before pulling slightly away to look in her eyes. My gaze dropped to her lips and she immediately licking them. Fuck, I loved that, and it turned me on more than it should.

"Now that I think about it, we could spend so much time together in this room that we'd literally forget Christmas."

Her lips curled into a fond smile as her fingers started playing with my hair. Her touch was extremely soft and gentle and I felt goosebumps appear on my back.

"We definitely could." she admitted in a whisper. "But don't worry, we'll get out of here long enough for you to go to your mother's for a few days."

She chuckled again and it made me smile even more.

"How about you come with me?"

Her lips parted, her eyebrows raised, and the look she sent me amused me more than it should have. I didn't want to be separated from her for the holidays and it would be our first Christmas as a couple.

"My mom is doing a big Christmas dinner and my dad will be there too, and probably my brother." I added with a small shrug. "We could tell them in person, what do you say?"

I could read fear but also excitement in her eyes and I waited, motionless, until her lips curled and she moved up on her elbows to reach my lips with hers.

"Then we can go see your parents for an other few days if you want." I added, taking her bottom lip between my teeth and biting it a bit, making her whimper. "You haven't seen them in a while."

I knew her parents had moved back to France a few years ago and even if she kept in touch with them through skype, I knew she missed them a lot. I remembered catching her crying one time while we were on tour, after she talked with them, and although she had never explicitly told me that it was why she was crying, she had literally spent half an hour sobbing in my arms.

She brought her hands on my cheeks and sent me a fond smile, making my heart twist lightly in my chest.

"Thank you."

She whispered the words but I could feel how grateful she really was and it made me smile. I have always wanted my best friend to be happy but now, it became the most important thing for me. I thought about the comments I had seen under that ridiculous online article and it made my heart twist in my chest. Sometimes, I couldn't believe how mean people were. And wrong, too.

"What do you think your parents will say?" she asked, raising her nose up in a grimace. It was cute and it made my smile grow.

"About us together?" I just asked, raising my eyebrows, a smile still on my lips.

"Yea, do you think they're gonna like me?" she wondered in a very low and juvenile tone.

"Are they gonna.. what?" I chuckled with a frown, amused by her question. "Liv, they already know you, they've known you for two decades, they love you!"

She shrugged a shoulder, looking up at her fingers in my hair.

"That doesn't mean they'll like me as your girlfriend."

I didn't know why she was scared but I didn't want her to be. I sighed low and licked my lips, waiting until her eyes would meet mine.

"Olivia, look at me."

Slowly, her gaze moved to meet mine and she licked her lips nervously. I watched the way the tip of her tongue ran gently between her lips and it made me realize that I love this habit of hers.

"You make me happy, you always have, and my parents know that, and they love you." I pointed out, waiting about a minute until she simply nodded. "Can I book our flight?"

This time, she chuckled and nodded more before I bent down and kisses her lips in a peck. I pushed myself off of her and got off the bed, looking for a paid of pants and a shirt.

"Maybe you should wear clean boxers." she proposed with a short laugh.

I raised my nose up with an amused smile and shrugged.

"Naa, it's okay this way." I let out. "Just a nice reminder of my skills, 'ts all good."

It took only half a second before I felt a pillow hit the side of my face and lost my balance as I was trying to put my pants on.

"What the..."

I didn't trip but it was close and I looked up at her with a big smile. She was smiling too, her eyes smaller and her nose up again.

"You're so pretentious!" she let out, making me laugh as I finally pulled my shirt down on my chest.

"What?" I asked, raising my hands slightly up. "It's the truth!"

"Shut up, Horan!" she groaned, making me laugh even more.

"Okay dress up! I'll make coffee!"

With one last smile, I left the room and walked to the kitchen, making coffee and leaning against the counter, crossing my arms until I felt my phone vibrate in the pockets of my sweatpants. I quickly grabbed it and read the message I got, losing my smile slowly. She entered the room at the same time and I put my phone back in my pockets, looking up at her.

"Can we talk?"

She frowned but nodded, sitting at the table as I poured coffee in two mugs. I placed one on the table for her and sat in front of her with mine, both my hands wrapped around the cup.

"Niall, you're stressing me." she admitted in a low tone. "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

I frowned in surprise, not really understanding why she would believe that after the way I acted with her only a few minutes ago, and finally shook my head.

"No! Liv, why would I..." I leaned a bit on the table and raised my eyebrows again, looking in her eyes. "It took me decades to admit to myself that I'm in love with you, I wouldn't ruin it now."

Her smile was half embarrassed and half grateful and I smiled back.

"I just..." I sighed and shook my head. "Remember the trip I told you about? In Asia?"

She frowned and shrugged, staring at me.

"Yea of course, it's all you could talk about for a while. Leave for Asia and travel with barely any money?" I nodded and she did the same. "What about it?"

"We're supposed to leave in a few weeks."

She frowned more and chuckled a bit, her lips curling.

"Yea, I remember that, too."

I pressed my lips together and looked down at my cup of coffee. Of course, I didn't want to be away from her but at the same time, I had planned this and was really excited to go. I would invite her but I didn't want to impose someone else in this trip. I had almost forgotten about it but then again, I forgot many things in the past 12 hours. I was also scared of what she would say. I knew how Olivia the best friend would react, but I had no idea what Olivia the girlfriend would do.

"And, you're okay with that?"

This time, she laughed and took a sip of her coffee. I loved the way her eyes moved up when she smiled sincerely. I loved her smile. I loved her eyes. I loved her.

"Of course, it's what, two months?"

"6 weeks." I rectified.

"6 weeks, good." she shrugged. "We'll have many weeks after that, and you'll keep in touch, right?"

"Every single day, I promise."

I slid my arm on the table and turned my palm up, making her smile more. She tilted her head and her fingertips brushed on my palm before I grabbed her hand, rubbing my thumb softly against her skin.

"Then I don't see a problem." she just expressed in a low tone, making me squeeze her fingers again.

We stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company, and I tried to think about all the times I was separated from hers. The world tours were the worst and although I had seen her a few times during them, we were so busy and tired that I felt like I could barely enjoy the fact that she was around. Last tour was better but there was one thing that I knew, and it was that being away from her again and especially now would be fucking hard.

"I'm gonna miss you." I confessed in a very low tone, staring at our hands together.

"Me too, but you'll have fun. It's an amazing experience." she added, squeezing my fingers too. "And we can face time."

I nod slowly and we stay in silence again for a few minutes as thoughts start invading my mind. It was ridiculous to worry about it now and I was not the kind to be anxious, especially not about things like that.

"You know what?" I finally let out a bit louder, making her look up at me with an a funny smile. "How about I take you on a date? A proper one. Dinner, movie, coffee..."

This time, she burst into laughter and moved closer to me, leaning on the table. Her eyes seemed to sparkle and it made me smile, too.

"Dinner, movie, coffee?" she repeated with an other laugh. "We do that all the time!"

"Fine then!" I admitted, knowing I couldn't say the opposite. "Burgers, arcades and pub, how's that?"

She shook her head, her lips still curled up, and leaned back against her chair, staring at me. I wanted to be alone with her and bring her on a proper date, the way I did with the other girls I dated. She deserved it, she deserved even better, but she was right. We couldn't pretend we had just met or that we weren't used to spend time together because we were

"You're such a romantic guy, Niall James Horan!" she joked.

"Okay how about going to a museum first? I could kiss you in front of your fave Dali painting."

Her traits softened and her smile faltered slightly. She moved our hands and brought her other one on the table, around mine. I felt her cold fingers against mine and raised my eyebrows.

"That... actually sounds like a good idea." she let out gently and low as she played with my fingers again.

I slid my other arm on the table to grab her hands in mine tightly.

"It's a date then." I whispered, making her look up in my eyes. "Be ready at four. I have a few things to plan for my trip but i'll pick you up."

"You're gonna drive me home so I can get prepared?" she asked jokingly, making me chuckle and frown.

"Of course, i'm a gentleman!"

                                                               ---

I decided to dress casual for the date but I couldn't help but wonder the whole time I drove to her house if I shouldn't have put on something else. I didn't know why this date felt so important and special but I wanted it to be perfect. I parked in the street and rang her doorbell, opening the door quickly when she answered and running upstairs, skipping a few stairs on my way. When she opened her door, I sent her a smile, and my eyes moved down to look at what she was wearing. A simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, just like me. I brought my eyes up to her face and sent her a bigger smile.

"You opted for the simple outfit, too?"

"Of course," she shrugged with a smirk. "Didn't want you to think you had a chance to bring me in your bed tonight."

I let out a laugh as she stepped out of her apartment and locked the door.

"No hope for you to sleep at my place then, is that it?"

She turned around and seemed slightly surprised when she realized how close we were. I looked down at her, letting my eyes roam on her face. Her lips curled very slowly and she finally licked them.

"No." she insisted, making me laugh again. "And no kiss after the date either."

"Yea?" I asked in a murmur, raising my eyebrows. "What about before the date, then?"

I took a step closer and she took a step back before I trapped her body between mine and the door. She didn't answer but slowly, I dipped my head down until my lips reached hers. Her yes closed suddenly and I kissed her, pressing my body against hers and slipping my tongue in her mouth. She didn't touch me but I brought one of my hands up, running my fingertips on her jaw, and smiled again when she whimpered in my mouth.

"Would you rather go back inside?" I asked in a whisper, smirking more. "We can spend the evening in your bed if you prefer."

I felt my whole body throb at that thought and brought my lips back on hers to kiss her even deeper this time. It was insane the effect she had on my body and I let my fingers run on her neck and down her side.

"Niall..." she let out in a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"Yes petal?"

She brushed her lips against mine and I could swear I saw her quiver from a shiver crossing her back. Gently, I rubbed my nose against her and her eyes fluttered open.

"Don't even think about it."

I let out an other chuckle and took a small step back, reaching for her hand and intertwining our fingers before pulling her with me. I knew she enjoyed museums and I was also aware I was bringing her to one she had visited many times before. I paid for our tickets and when we walked inside, she handed me one of her earphones, making me frown.

"Do it. Classic music and visual arts just fit so well together, trust me."

I followed her around, just looking at pieces of art that I didn't understand and others that brought different feelings inside me that I couldn't seem to explain. I tried to let my eyes roam on the painting while my ears focused on music from Tchaikovsky or Chopin and when we entered an other room, she stopped in front of a painting and stared. I squeezed her fingers tighter and after a few seconds, she turned to me, making me smile.

"Morning Ossification of the Cypress." I just read out loud after moving my upper body closer to the painting. "What does that painting mean to you?"

She turned to look at it with a smile and finally looked back at me.

"That it doesn't matter how, where, and why you were born... you can still become anything you want to be."

I frowned slightly at her and looked back at the painting for a minute or two.

"You don't have to see what I see, you can interpret it the way you want to."

Once again, I turned back to her and something hit me suddenly. She looked gorgeous, standing there, surrounded by pieces of art... yet she was the most precious of them all, as stupid and cheesy as it seemed. I didn't tell her, I just looked at her and moved my head down again to kiss her. She let me, her lips moving avidly over mine, and I felt her hand grab gently the front of my shirt. Every time we kissed, it brought in me a sensation of comfort and excitement, like it was something new but also something I was used to, at the same time. Nothing had ever felt like that before.

"I don't get why you like him." I pointed out after we pulled away, making her raise her eyebrows. "Salvador Dali."

"I don't like everything he does but some of his paintings are... meaningful. No one had his brain, his imagination was... unique."

I loved the way she was talking about it. She was not trying to convince me or anything, she was just explaining how she felt, and it's always been something I liked about her. It was easy to discuss with her. I stared at her a few more seconds, just taking her beauty in before sighing.

"Hungry?"

"Starving!" she laughed, grabbing my fingers again and pulling me toward the exit. We laughed as we walked to the first fast food place we saw and quickly ate our burgers and fries, sitting on uncomfortable chairs and laughing at a few memories.

"Oh, remember that time you tried to shoot for a goal but you ended up just hitting Aiden in the balls!" I asked, my mouth full.

She groaned and rolled her eyes. I remembered she had a crush on him and had blown all the chances to date him she could have had.

"Remember when I caught you masturbating?" she said with a smirk, using iut as a pay back.

I smirked back and leaned my elbows on the table.

"Remember when I caught you masturbating?"

"Way too well." she mumbled, making laugh more,

I stopped after a while and looking down at my hand, nibbling on my bottom lip.

"You know, it was really hot." I confessed, intertwining my fingers and looking up at her. "You think you could do it again? I'd love to watch."

I saw her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink and it surprised me. She was not the kind to be embarrassed by anything sexual but just asking her if I could watch her masturbate was making her blush.

"I mean, only if you want to, you really don't have to-"

"Yes." she cut me quickly. "I can do that for you."

I raised my eyebrows in shock. It was not the answer I had expected, simply because of the talk about her body we had had before, but the thought of her touching herself right in front of me turned me on more than I thought it would. I wanted to watch her face and hear her moan. The image in my head was so exciting I squirmed on my seat and cleared my throat.

"I mean, if you come home with me tonight..."

"Let's start by this date, yea?" she just suggested quickly, getting up to throw what was left of our food away.

I helped her and we got back outside in the winter cold. It was already dark and it had snowed a lot, enough for the snowball fight I had in mind as soon as we'd get back to my house.

"How about a drink to warm us?" I proposed. "There's a pub not so far. I can teach you how to play pool."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes with a smile.

"I'll beat you."

"We'll see."

[the-day-that-wasnt]

commission crush

request: you said you write, right? i had this idea a few days ago and i've just been asking around for anyone to write it. can i request a five fic where the reader works with gloria in the commission and has a lil crush on him? and she helps him escape?

a/n: i use a bunch of quotes from the actual episode (ep. 6) and idk how rights work but this is just fanfiction !! no harm intended !! but for the anon, thanks for giving me some prompts because i don’t think i could’ve thought of this on my own! <3 also, i can’t with titles. i actually can’t. 

word count: 1.8k

Sighing, you rolled in another cart full of pneumatic tubes for Gloria. It had been your third delivery that day, and it was barely even lunch yet. Noting your frustrated manner, Gloria gave you a small smile. “Lighten up, (y/n), break starts in about an hour.” You returned her grin, but lacked the enthusiasm behind it. You hated working at the Commission, even if you had only been there for about 2 years. Ever since your mother, who also had served the Commission, broke her contract early, she signed you off instead for 5 years. Ever since you were 12, day after day you spent sorting tubes into their designated tunnels. It was utterly boring and constantly you fantasised about getting promoted to case managers. They were always reading something interesting, which you would take over your current job any day.

“Based on that determination, the case manager sends instructions via pneumatic tube to temporal assassins like you formerly were, Number Five.” you heard the Handler’s ever so monotone voice. You were sorting through the tubes on the bottom of the cart, but you couldn’t manage to see who the Handler was talking to. “But, as you’re going to be a case manager you don’t have to worry about that.”

As soon as you heard those words, you almost bursted at the seams with jealousy. “The Handler is promoting someone to case manager even though I’m right here??” you thought. Angrily, you stood up to give a death stare to whoever took your spot. The anger disappeared, however, when you realised it was a boy your age.

And shit, he was cute.

You could feel your face heat up as everyone in the tube room looked at you. Gloria, in confusion, The Handler, in annoyance, and the boy, in intrigue. You forced your eyes to look away from the boy, and to the tube you were holding. Even as you did so, you couldn’t get his piercing eyes and his wide smirk out of your head. You listened as the Handler went on with the tour. 

“So, any queries?”

The next time you saw him, you were nearly scared shitless. You were in the middle of polishing the tunnels when you turned around to find him at a proximity too close for strangers. You yelped and stepped back, glancing at Gloria, who was preoccupied with her typewriter. You turned to the boy, who was staring at you as if he was trying to figure you out. “Um, hi!” You started, offering your hand. “I guess you’re the new case manager here at HQ. I’m (y/n).”

He grasped your hand as if you were made of glass. Even so, such a small brush of fingers made your heart rate shoot skyward. 

“Five. Five Hargreeves. You work with the pneumatic tubes, I assume? Although I’m sure you do most of the work; no offence, but you look much younger than your colleague.”

You couldn’t tell if that was a compliment or not. “Oh, um, thanks? Gloria’s been here since I was born. I can’t see why anyone would want to stay here, though; The Commission is utter garbage.” you rambled on. Five’s eyes glinted in curiosity. You stopped your rant when you noticed the smile on his face threatening to widen. “What?”

He chuckled. “Oh, nothing, I’ve just never met someone in the Commission who hated it. Except maybe Hazel.” He gestured to the tube he was carrying. “Do you mind if I send this?” 

You blinked, not having been entirely focused on the conversation at hand and more on how to keep your cheeks from blazing pink. “Yeah! Sure!” You watched as his eyes flickered in concentration over the numbers. Yeah, you definitely had it bad for this boy you just met (to be fair, everyone else in the Commission was either an asshole or looked like an old hobo) [a/n lil did u know that 5 is both lmao].

“I’m afraid that’s not procedure.” Shit. The Handler. She smiled, taking the tube out of his hands and then glaring at you. “Seriously, what is her problem?” you thought. “Five, meet Gloria. Gloria, this is Number Five.” 

Gloria, well aware of your little crush, nudged you. “Look at you! A deadly little thing. So glad we decided to close the contract on your life, right (y/n)?” 

Contract? What contract? You looked at Five, eyebrows furrowed. He stared at his feet unmoving. That is, until the Handler read out the paper. “Karl Weber? Now tell me, why unfortunate Karl?” 

If arrogance could be a human face, it would be the face Five made before elaborating his decision. He looked up, locking eyes with you. “Karl Weber is the butcher at the shop where Captain Ernst A. Lehmann acquires his weekly roast. If he dies, the shop goes down to his son, who never washes his hands, which is disgusting. So he’s the one that gives his captain the roast, and that gives him food poisoning, which makes him late for work, which delays the takeoff. To make up for lost time, the Hindenburg flies to a weather front of high electrical charge and humidity–”

“and the static electricity inside the aircraft makes it a virtual tinderbox, leading to the sparking of the engine which makes it explode!” you exclaimed, finally understanding. Too late, you realised that all three of them were staring at you again. “(y/n)!” the Handler hissed. “Can’t you have enough decency to let Five finish speaking? I told you to stop looking inside files, you fool! This is why you’ll never get to be anything more than a pneumatic peasant!”

Your face crumbled, and even Five staring at you in amazement couldn’t get your hopes up. You were never going to be a case manager if the Handler had anything to do with it. Under Gloria’s orders, you shuffled back to the front office, where you were in charge of typing out templates for the Commission orders. You did notice, however, that Five’s almost starstruck gaze followed you out.

What felt like your 20,395th tube was just put into the last delivery of the day. Time was fickle at HQ, and it had felt like 10,000 years before you could finally go home. You were just putting your overcoat on when Dot stormed into the room. You narrowed your eyes. You never liked Dot, she was way too loyal to the Handler. You listened to her urgent whisper. 

“Gloria! Get this to Hazel and Cha Cha immediately. The handler knows that Five is up to something.” 

“Up to something. Huh.” you thought. “This could be interesting.”

Interjecting, you shot Dot a look. “That’s ridiculous, Dot. Why would he betray the commission when he just got here?” 

Dot scowled at you. “No one asked you, (y/n), just deliver the tube.” She said, sauntering out of the room in a hurry.

Gloria put a hand on your shoulder, flashing a unsettling smile you hadn’t seen in a while. “I’m sorry (y/n), but Dot might be right. Now’s not the time for your crush to cloud your judgement. I think we might have to exterminate him now.” She walked over to the tunnels, searching for the right one. Panic overtook you, and you stormed over, grabbing the nearest thing (which happened to be a stapler) and bashed it on Gloria’s head, knocking her out cold.

“I never would have labelled you as the violent type.”

You whipped around, seeing Five stare at you with a smug grin. Your eyes widened. “I-Listen! I didn’t actually mean to hurt her, but they were trying to–”

“I know. I overheard everything.” He stated, walking past you to take the tube from Gloria. You could feel your heart drop into your stomach as you stammered. “E-everything?” 

He turned back to face you, the smile growing. “Everything. By the way, I think you’re cute too.” 

You exhaled, feeling faint. Blinking, you stared back at him. “So what now?” 

He opened the tube, reading it with a satisfactory expression. “Now, I’m going to save the world. But first, I gotta throw Hazel and Cha Cha off my scent. Do me a favour and order them to kill each other.”

You nodded, understanding the diversion. You ran over to the typewriter and jotted down orders hastily. Putting them into tubes, you handed the orders to Five, who sent them into the tunnels. He turned to you.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then. I’m off to prevent the apocalypse.” 

You beamed at him, kissing his cheek. “Go save the world, Five.”

Suddenly, you heard a gun cock behind you. Your body froze. You shut your eyes, willing it not to be who you thought it would be. The coarse voice of the Handler made you want to crawl into a ball and never leave. 

“You know that’s not how we do things here.” She spat. You couldn’t see her face, but you imagined it was writhing in caked makeup and rage. 

“You can’t change things to come, Five. I truly find it so odd that you can’t shed this fantasy. You’re a first rate pragmatist! It’s so sad, now, that I’m going to have to kill you and this little traitor here.”

Your eyes shot open as Five grabbed your arm and jumped through space to behind the Handler. You couldn’t even process what was happening when he grabbed a grenade and threw it at her. “Hold on!” He shouted, teleporting again.

The last thing you saw was the Handler’s face being wiped off of all the smugness she had. Then, you were at the briefcase room. You were pulled along by Five, who grabbed a briefcase and threw another grenade into the room. You two ran out, Five setting a date and time. He locked eyes with you right before you were enveloped in a blue light.

When you opened your eyes, you were in a bedroom. You looked out the window and saw a city outside. Your eyes were then drawn to the probability equations that were scribbled onto the walls and ceiling. You knew these equations all too well; they were calculating the likelihood of a change in the timeline. 

Beside you, Five sat up, holding his side. You two stared at each other for what felt like forever before you spoke softly. “Why...did you take me with you?” You murmured, dropping your head down to stare at your lap. “It would’ve been easier just to let me die.”

You heard him chuckle, and his hand intertwined with yours. “I couldn’t do that. Not after everything you did for me. Besides, I have a feeling that I finally found someone who lives up to my intelligence quotient, and I needed your help.” 

Laughing, you smiled at him. “Alright, then. Let’s stop the apocalypse.”

[thebritishblabbermouth]

Peaceful storms

Heyya beautiful people!!

Its been a year since ive been active on tumblr and my gosh a year through med school has been insanely exhausting! Glad that’s over

This piece is a little hello from my side.

I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think! 

I love you guys and thank you for sticking with me for the year

Feel free to message and just say hi :3 

SUGA FANFICTION 

I’d pick your thunder and your rain over anyone’s sunshine any day – anonymous

The pastel green wall clock struck 2 am, the wind stood steady and calm as the moon hid between dark clouds that hung like blots of ink in the sky. There was no light in the living room, just me and the darkness. Just like it had always been without him. 

6 months ago, I was living a dream. My boyfriend, my job, the weather. What I wouldn’t do to go back to those 3 days. He’d just returned from their most recent stadium tour, hungry for me and for our time together. 3 days of love, food and a whole lot of sleep. But mostly, it was 3 whole days of Yoongi. The peculiar smell of fresh laundry and citrus that I had grown to associate with him, the way his warm eyes crinkled as he smiled, lingering touches and promising words. The sun had beamed down on us, soft clouds in the sky, and streaks of light playing games on our skin as we held each other. Perfection in its prime.

But, 3 days of extreme happiness obviously had to match with 3 days of stormy nights. It had been a misunderstanding, something trivial as it always is. Tour dates or a spontaneous fan meeting on the other side of the world. Something to take him away from me again, something to keep him from my arms and the safe haven of our apartment. Perhaps it wasn’t fair, perhaps it was meant to be. The long distance, the time difference, the lack of trust, empty phone calls with broken syllables and dried tears. Maybe that was all we would get, raging skies with angry clouds- thunder and lightning appearing as we hurled words at each other. Words that held no meaning – just remorse and regret.

And, 6 months after those storms, on this peaceful night. It felt like the storm was inside me. It wasn’t that things no longer made sense, wasn’t that I’d forgotten how to function. Rather, it felt like every breath I took was pointless- for there no life in my being. I was numb to everything, almost frozen with time.

I wouldn’t have noticed him entering the room for I had not heard the keys turning the lock or the shuffle of his heavy boots against the hardwood floor- I was too busy listening to the crickets and the dull voice inside my head, rather it was the lamp he’d switched on that shook me from my trance, its light, bathing the space in a moody yellow.

Auto-pilot mode. That’s what they call it. When you do things without thinking about them. That must have been it. I hadn’t realised id walked over to him until his eyes met mine- steely and tired.

‘’I haven’t…haven’t washed my hair in 2 weeks.’’

His voice was gruff, but not quiet. The noise pulled my from the numbness, jolting me into action. I am not entirely sure what it was he said. But it had been words and apparently I knew what I had to do.

A bath.

Min yoongi had somehow managed to make his way into the shared bathroom, hovering at the door way as I set up the large round tub with a pink bath bomb. Rose and tea tree drove away the smell of disinfectant and surface cleaner, the noise of the tap filling the tangible silence of the room.

He stood in front of me, waiting, watching. Noticing my moves as if he expected me to do something new. He wasn’t in luck.

‘’Unbutton.’’

I thought I’d forgotten how to speak.

Huh. I guess not.

I watched him sigh in retaliation- his slack arms and worn face highlighting his fatigue. The dark circles seemed defined under the vibrant lighting, usually rosy lips devoid of makeup and bruised at the edges- the constant biting having taken its toll on the soft skin.

‘’Too tired.’’ He said, his chin tucking into his chest like a little school boy. Was this defeat? Was this him coming back to me? Was this him tired of running away?

My heart sped up at the thoughts, my own grubbing mind had suddenly been startled awake by the act of Suga casting away his defences. What was this man doing to my sanity? Was he stripping me of it or teaching me how to live? I didn’t know. And at that point, it couldn’t have mattered less.

I began unbuttoning the baby blue dress shirt, my hands trembling as we stood close, breathing the same air. Our eyes too afraid to meet. The shirt was stripped in seconds and his dark slacks pooled at the tiled floor. He stepped into the water timidly, checking the temperature with is pale toes. Suga was ever the baby boy- his fans understood him spot on. But I’d always wondered if I’d ever understand Min yoongi the same way.

It was unspoken I wouldn’t be joining him in the bath, I had another task at hand. His hair. Currently dyed at a marron red, at least this time it hadn’t matched the colour of the bubbles in the bath. I smirked inwardly at the memory and sat down near his head as it perched at the edge of the tub.

‘’It’s really dirty Yoongi.’’ I said, soaking his scalp with warm water. This would take at least 2 large pumps of shampoo and perhaps an extra dollop of conditioner.

‘’You called me Yoongi again.’’

I am not sure what I had expected in reply, perhaps a smirk or a defence. But his words brought a shiver to my spine and I halted, his eyes were wide open- boring into my own as he watched me- gauging for a reaction. I tugged at his hair, the distraction successful as he groaned and turned away- momentarily forgetting the interaction I had not yet prepared for.

Washing his hair should have been relaxing for him- and it probably was because I was sure I heard a snore 10 minutes into the second rinse, but for me it was heaven. The strands were rough and dry from years of hair colour and damage but they felt soft in my palms, the shampoo working its magic as I watched his face in peace, memorising every contour and dip, the way his eyelashes curved and his nose twitched as I massaged his scalp, the slight overgrowth of a moustache he so hated and the acne that remained from years ago. It was imperfect and untouched yoongi at his most natural form. My yoongi.

‘’The water’s getting cold.’’ He said, once again driving me away from my thoughts, but this time as I watched him, I noticed his eyes flood, his bottom lip nipped between his teeth as he struggled to maintain composure. Had he been crying? Right in front of me? How had I not noticed?

I nodded and he swiftly retched away from my hands. The white towel wrapped around his waist, hair dripping wet and cheeks flushed as he realised that I’d noticed his reddened face, the tinge to his waterline implying unshed tears and unsaid words. My hands were still wet and he hastily wiped them down with a small rag, his fast movements leaving my still slow mind confused.

‘’What? What are you doing yoongi? You’re going to fall!’’

Suga attempting to multitask was a sight to behold, he failed drastically- often paving way for multiple scratches and gentle kisses to take the pain away. Attempting to wipe my hands and his hair, all the while trying to find a pair of his old boxers from the shelves- ones I hadn’t had the heart to throw away.

‘’We need to get to bed now.’’ He said, grabbing my wrist and pushing me out of the closet, leading the way to the bed.

Had I been anticipating this? Somewhere hidden within my subconscious, he was back in the apartment and id just washed his hair? Why? It made no sense. Had I no self-respect? No life beyond this reckless man? Was I going to let him destroy me all over again?

My thoughts clouded my actions as my back lay against the cool sheets, his hot hand snaking its way around my stomach, teasing the skin as he pulled me towards him. My back melted into his front, head tucked under his chin and arm propped out as my personal pillow. His bangs dripped water into my own hair as I sighed deeply against his skin, breathing him in as I did.

‘’You’re right. I am reckless and this whole thing is crazy.’’

I tried to turn against him, tried to stop this whole vocal declaration but it went to vain, I couldn’t budge. Had his muscles grown in 6 months? Can muscles grow that fast? How does he know what I was thinking about? I took to curling into the pillows and his hand stretched out to touch under the swell of my breast. My breath hitched as he moved, gentle and slow as if he were coaxing me out of my doubts.

‘’I shouldn’t be here. In bed with you, it makes no sense. I swore I would walk away. It was the right thing to do. You were miserable. It hurt.’’ His voice rose an octave has he spoke, words almost trembling.

‘’But I am selfish and clueless and there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here.’’

‘’that’s a terrible combination.’’ I said, rubbing my thumb over his calloused fingers.

Perhaps it didn’t make any sense. Perhaps it didn’t need to. Why he was here and what we had been thinking all those months ago on that stormy night. I didn’t actually remember a word he had said. What was that fight about? I didn’t know. It hadn’t mattered then and it doesn’t matter now. But this, my heart that was finally beating again.

This felt like it mattered. Yoongi and his citrusy smell that came back to fill the room, the damp hair and his warm skin scorching my own under the thin cream covers. His legs tangled with mine as he spoke. This moment right here, this feeling, this would never be replaced.  

‘’it’s a good thing I am both of those things too.’’ I whispered into his arm, wrapping my hands around its width and pulling it towards me. He curled into my form and relaxed, his muscles loosening as he did.

Nothing more had been said that night, as it seemed no words were needed, we fell further into sleep and into each other as the skies broke and rain thrashed against the windows, the violent streaks of lightening falling against our cuddled limbs, playing against the exposed skin as it did with the thunder of the storm.

[strawberryfields4now]

Some really excellent points here!!

My own thoughts, because I also find it truly fascinating (and also I just love talking about stuff like this) :

I collect vintage teen mags, mostly 16, a couple of Flips, a Tiger Beat, all from the year 1967. The 60s poll I posted was from Teen DateBook, Spring 1967.

Teen mags were regularly running articles along the lines of “my day with the Monkees” “you meet the Monkees” “go on tour with the Monkees” etc etc, a lot of times even written in second person, like early y/n fanfiction. Articles like that overwhelmingly featured Davy and Micky, even Peter, and Mike often only got small mentions, if at all (I really feel like I read one that had a part like “you work up the courage to say hi to Mike, and he says hello before going back to his trailer” but I’d have to look again). A lot of the articles about him featured his family. Phyllis is mentioned a lot (I think she actually “wrote” a number of articles in TB) and his friend John London had a recurring series in 16 about their friendship/musical partnership. Monkees fans of the 60s knew Mike as the quiet, weird musician who had a wife and kids and wrote some songs (Mike also notoriously hated teen mags and always gave Ann Moses a really hard time, so that’s definitely a factor). Davy was young and cute and sweet and every girl’s dream guy. There wasn’t much to know about the guys as people beyond what the teen mags had to offer.

In 2022, we know a lot more about the Monkees, as people, as musicians/actors, as characters. We’ve seen and analyzed Head (1968), we know what they were like after the show, and how they felt about being on the show. I’m 22, only slightly older than the teen mag demographic, and I find Davy to be so boring. Like SO boring. Sorry! Mike was my favorite even before I started the show (literally, back when the Monkees were just some guys I saw on my dash I decided Mike was my favorite on vibes alone). I just find him the most interesting! He’s the weird girl of the group, both on the show and in real life, I generally like his songs the best, and I’m always fascinated by his writing. I also find him the most attractive of the group, so there’s that. There’s something about Davy that just never clicked for me. He’s always been my least favorite. I almost find him too… regular? Even when I’m drawing, I always have the hardest time getting a likeness of Davy because he’s almost too conventionally attractive, he doesn’t really have any interesting distinguishing features to me. I don’t know, that’s just me.

In general, I’m always fascinated by the stuff I see in teen mags. It’s why I keep buying them. It’s fun to see how people felt about these guys and this show while it was all happening, and I’m really glad this prompted a new poll, because it’s been SO fun to watch. I’ll keep sharing fun stuff I find:)

I find it absolutely fascinating from a generational trends standpoint at how utterly opposite the results are in the “Favorite Monkee” polls from the 60s that @strawberryfields4now posted versus the current one that @calicoskiesacoustic is running now.

In the 60s one, Davy runs away with the poll, with Micky in a respectable second, Peter in third, and only a handful of votes for Mike.  In the current-day poll, it’s literally flipped in the exact reverse order–Mike gets the lion’s share, Peter is the respectable second, Micky is third, and Davy gets the handful of votes.

Far be it from me to read minds, but I wonder… 

The 60s poll was obviously voted on by teenage Boomers, for whom Davy’s sunny, bright, optimistic Prince Charming vibe was utterly appealing (and the British Invasion didn’t hurt, I’m sure).

I’m assuming that the current tumblr poll falls in line with tumblr demographics: mostly Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z voting–three generations who have been through so many Historical Events in rapid succession in their relatively short lives that bright, sunny, cheerful Prince Charming Davy just isn’t going to cut it anymore (Davy, my dude, I love you–you’re my second-favorite after Mike, but, really… the vibes are so different these days).

Meanwhile, Mike–who is cynical and sarcastic and self-deprecating, but in a somehow vulnerable way, is our guy.  In the show, he’s the guy who, upon getting scammed, decides to “sit around the house and fail,” who frets about the rent and food the most, who knows that life isn’t a bed of roses, who, when asked by a kindly older lady as to how she can help him, quietly and openly requests, “Make me a success.”  And in real life, he writes the abstract lyrics and embraces weirdness because the world is weird, too, so we might as well get out there and do our thing anyway.

Given the current state of the world, that is such a gatdang MOOD for the aforementioned generations.

No wonder he’s our guy.

[purplenickel]

So this turned more into my queer dating history but its fun lol

So I have always been attracted to boys even before I knew that trans was a thing much less that I could transition. I also always admired girls and found ways to rationalize it until like middle school when I became aware of bisexuality where I had so many crushes usually on the mean kids at least the ones that didn’t have like weird shaped heads or watch alarms that went off at weird times during class like why do you need an alarm for 1:27? Youre supposed to be learning basic Spanish do that instead lol An I dated one guy in middle school when I knew I was bisexual and at least a tom boy. And the things I wanted to do to that boy. Like I was kinky as a small child lol like damn you could do a lot more than hold my hand and let me give you innocent little cheek kisses.

We stayed together until freshmen year of high school where I was bored with how slow things were going so I broke up with him. It probably didn’t help that I was starting to question my gender then either.  I told my mom I thought I wanted to be a boy and she shot that down real quick “You’re a girl and cant be a boy” so I ended up trying to cut off all my hair until it was so fucked she had to give me a buzzcut and I ended up looking like a hard core butch lesbian for a semester)

Second boyfriend was this skinny dude like only an inch taller than me and I was 5’3 at the time. I wrote down love song lyrics and gave them to him to ask him out. Im romantic like that lol. We dated for a while and I guess we just grew apart. He wouldn’t do much more than kiss me occasionally and I was like damn yall how do I keep getting these innocent Victorian straight boys. But he was cute and I still see him around town much to my embarrassment. Idk why im embarrassed so much maybe I feel bad that he thought he was dating a girl and im not?

Next boyfriend was a bi emo guy named Justice. I dated him mainly because he was the only bi guy I knew at my school in rural redneck Virginia lol he ended up being really kinky and kinda weirdly intense.  Like the fun part was he didn’t mind that I was all for sitting in the back of the anime club/computer classroom and tryina get down. The weird part was that he had the idea to write Real Person fanfiction staring ourselves as like vampires because he had a major biting kink and was really emo and thought he was goth but rural VA is a hard place to be goth when all your clothes come from walmart. But he was really intense like he had our entire lives planned out in the fanfic and actually went a bought me a ring  , gold with a pearl setting, that I immediately lost because why would you give me a ring??? Nah so I got real disinterested in Justice and planned to break up with him. I actually ended up cheating on him sort of. My class went on a field trip to Jamestown famous school tour site all Virginian probably had to go to. And one of my classmates/kind of friends was this really hot guy with this shaggy blonde hair and this wiry lanky body and was this laid back hot stoner type and I really liked him so I sat next to him on the bus ride and seduced him through out the whole trip until we stopped in this little shopping mall on the way back to school. I was walking around one of the department stores and saw him trying one underwear of all things lol he invited me to help him pick out a new pair of tight good looking underwear and I agreed and slipped into the changing room while he was putting them on and ended up giving him a hand job he was grateful lol. Then we went back to the bus and pretended like nothing happened but there was already a rumor going around the buses that somebody had sex in the store. A few days later Justice actually broke up with me because he felt that I was “acting different” and I probably was simply because I wasn’t attracted to him any more.

Between dating Justice and the next guy I did have my first kiss with a girl! She was so pretty with silky black hair in a bob and dark blue eyes and the palest skin. She dressed in rave clothes all the time and sometimes wore fairy wings and cloaks to school. She was delightfully strange but moved to florida I think but we were saying goodbye by the schools front doors and when it was my turn I gave her a tight hug and she turned her face and gave me a kiss and I was just wow kissing girls is so nice. Speaking of girls, I also had a huge crush on president of the anime club. She was so tall and really thin with a few curves, but she was really confident and funny and just made you feel at ease and I could’ve seen myself dating her easily but she was dating someone else but im pretty sure she might have been bi but she graduated and moved to Washington state to be a masseuse.

Next boyfriend was extremely religious and also wanted to get married. I was against getting married so young, really against converting to southern baptism and definitely against having kids. Pregnancy has always freaked me out mostly because I don’t like pain and don’t want to be in pain and in general everything about reproduction freaks me out idk why. But I really wanted him. He had these nice big and rough hands and was so warm all the time. He was also really sweet. But I broke up with him because I couldn’t do the religious thing It was Too Much™.

After dating him though I had this huge crush on this girl a year younger than me in me creative writing class. She was gothic in a very flowery dark fairy type way and I loved it she was also had a huge gay crush on my female friend who I can confirm is very beautiful with long dyed red hair and olive skin and this soft husky voice that would be perfect for a late night radio talk show where you call in about relationship problems. But anyways the girl I had a crush on was named Sage and she was beautiful  with her long blonde hair and her light green eyes and small everything she was very thin like scarily thin she actually had an eating disorder that we tried to help her with and she could reach her hand behind her ribs and grip the bottom of her ribs it was creepy to look at. She wrote beautiful and dark poems and never seemed to mind that my crush took the form of hugging her and resting against her as often as I could. She never seemed interested in me though I think she was actually fatphobic or maybe she was just femme for femme I dunno but I graduated and nev er saw her again so whatever.

After I graduated high school I decided to go to a traditionally womens college. My roommate was ace and like the first openly ace person I had ever met and she was really cool and introduced me to the idea of being ace but at the time I was decidedly bi and later pan once some more friends introduced me to tumblr and I started openly learning about gender and sexuality. All my friends were really hot that I met at college and I probably would have been down to date any of them except for the girl that I met through the anime club who also really liked the anime Hetalia. We could get together and watch episodes and read a variety of fanfictions ranging from family type things to kinky sex shit we were very close and im sure that a lot of people thought we were dating or at least fooling around together. We actually met each other at a Virginia anime convention where the anime club people went in a group and I went separately with some friends from high school (the best part of the experience was the wafflehouse in the hotel parking lot) but me and my friend got together at the con and went back to my groups hotel room to gush over the merch we had found and watch some anime together. I was in a closet cosplay that consisted of booty shorts and tied button up shirt so I had a lot of skin showing and we were sitting on the bed by ourselves until my friends came back and they all thought we had sex like no she was very attractive and had really nice curves but girl needed to shower more often because unfortunately she had a smell to her that I just didn’t like. I think she was interested in dating me but she ended up having financial problems of some sort and couldn’t come back to school the next year.

After she left school I came out as trans and got closer to the core group of the college anime club. They were all really hot except for the vegetarian one but she had a boyfriend and didn’t seem to like me much anyways so whatever. I also dated this one girl in my graduation class for like three days over the summer but she broke up with me because she was again a southern Baptist and couldn’t honestly date a trans person because it somehow went against god or some shit. That person has since come out as trans masculine. But anyways next person I dated was this smoking hot older girl who only wore skirts. She was southern Baptist and straight but I had to try even if I never got to be anything other than her creepy friend who everybody knew had a crush on her. She surprisingly was interested in dating me so we started going out. We went on dates around town to explore and see new stores and went to the park and shit was great we had kisses and cuddles and fun cute dates and sexy times but we also clashed a lot over mostly miscommunication. It didn’t help that I was on a medicine that once I started taking it regularly like I was supposed to my sex drive dropped to nonexistent. We fought over this a few times but still planned to try to get an apartment off campus the next year. I thought she was being too clingy by texting me pretty often that summer. I was in a bad mood all of that summer though. We broke up and got back together over the phone probably at least three times before deciding to break up for good. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together because when we weren’t fighting we had a lot of fun and I told her things I hadn’t told anybody before, I felt safe.

The next person I dated didn’t go so well. This was a friend from the colleges LARP club that also had people from the community or it was a community club that extended to the college kids and just ended up being held on campus but that’s how we met. She had a very butch androgynous look but I just really liked her personality no matter how hot she looked in her leather jacket. So we started off as LARP friends and then I worked up the nerve to ask for her number and just texted her about random things and we ended up talking about how much we both like coffee so that turned into a coffee date at the local dunkin and it was a lot of fun and we had a few more dates like that and things were looking good. A few friends that knew both of us warned me that she didn’t normally go for men but I had talked to her myself and was like that a lie and you don’t know what youre talking about ok so we hung out for a few months going slow and not really relationship dating. Around the time I was thinking of asking her to be a couple my mental health deteriorated and I ended up being hospitalized. I tried calling her once to keep up the habit of talking at night through text since I couldn’t text at the time but I think me being in the “cr*zy ward” freaked her out because 1) the phone call did not go well and was never tried again and 2) once I got out of the hospital I texted her to see if she was interested in picking up where we left off and she shut me down saying she just wanted to be friends. Of course not even a month later I found out that she and the girl I had dated for over a year were now dating. This bothered me for a long time and I was constantly wondering if I was too cr*zy to date somebody or it was because I was trans a whole bunch of self hatred type thoughts. I eventually got over it (mostly)

Then I didn’t date anybody until last year. I started texting my friend Cat from high school (back then we had a very cute James Potter Severus Snape thing going on where the characters were dating but we weren’t) and I learned that they were agender and ace and I thought it over and determined that I was ridiculously attracted to them and didn’t mind being in a nonsexual relationship because at the time I was still pretty sex repulsed myself besides for reading kinky fanfiction and getting myself off every once in a while. So We went on a friends date in the spring to see Zootopia and it was so much fun and they were so cute in their leggings and hoodie with their windblown cropped hair dyed dark red. I asked them if they wanted to date and they said yes so we went on our first official date (a hike up an abandoned walking trail where we both got covered in ticks and I had to stop and stretch out a bad leg cramp, then we got lunch at a cute vegetarian café in town and went to the town park to hang out. We sat in the grass and listened to Florence and the Machine songs and smiled at each other looking cute. We then got milkshakes and learned that we still had ticks on us from the hick and they took me home and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye with the promise of more dates in the future). Over the summer we hung out a lot because they and their mom were moving from the house they had lived in for years to a house a county over and I volunteered to help with the moving of the last few belongings. Maybe 5 trips all together, but it was a good time every day we got to see each other. We would comfortable hang out in their old house packing things up and taking our time and then we would take the forty five minute drive to the new house listening to whatever queer music we could find and save to playlists.  Then we would cuddle on their couch after taking the days moving things inside and find something nice to eat on the way back to my house. I visited their college a few times (another traditionally women’s college) and met their friends who were also agender and queer and very cute people indeed. I enjoyed all the time I spent with Cat. Cat also helped me realize I was leaning more towards being a demiguy than strictly binary trans and that it was okay if I was ace, that sexuality can be fluid. Our relationship was very intimate and domestic and I loved it, especially the tight hugs and long slow kisses I would get each time we met and each time we had to say goodbye. I fell in love with Cat and because we didn’t see each other all the time and there was no pressure to maintain a sexual relationship I felt I could maintain those feelings I had for cat for a long time. We dated up until August of 2017 when they texted me and let me know they felt they were not only agender and asexual but also felt aromantic and would prefer to be platonic as they couldn’t keep up with the demands of a relationship. This devastated me. I took a week off from school to lie at home and let myself deal with the depression this brought. Im over Cat now. I enjoyed what we had but Im happy being friends though our ideas of friendship are different but that’s another textpost entirely.

I recently went to Charlottesville Pride 2017 with my friends that are the couple where I dated both and now they are happily dating each other and one of their other trans friends and it was so much fun. I think the act of getting a bag of free condoms reawakened my sex drive somehow?? Because now I would totally be down to get sex from anybody I was attracted to?? And im attracted to a lot more people than I usually am?? Like it was my friend Ness’s birthday a few weeks ago and she invited the same trans friend that went to pride with us to come and she brought her cousin with her and damn. Her cousin was the cutest and got so drunk like baby no you gotta stop while its still fun. So he’s agender and gave me his Snapchat and Im just…crushing so hard…hes too cute. But also I’ve been talking to people on OKCupid and everyones just so attractive (not the cismen tho neither the hets or gays wanna hit it so fuck em I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life) and all these tumblr people are cute and I wanna date everybody but everybody live like at least three hours away and it makes me sad because nobody seems to wanna try a long distance type thing which I would be up for.

So tl;dr:  if youre reading this and you think im cute, message me and ill tell you what all we could do together  ;)

Im a biromantic greyace chubby transmasculine enby and i like all body types and most personality types lol

[myartwritingcraft]

Bureaus and Brokers – Chapter One: The one set in a bar

I mentioned about three weeks ago that I liked the Dotl RealWorldAU enough that I want need have to write some fanfiction for it...

I had a bit off a hickup how to write the fight, which lead to this stagnating for a while, but I think after this followups will be much easier, so if anyone would like to read more of this, please let me know!

(Also if you like my ideas you might want to check out my side-blog @prompts-and-micro-stories )

(Oh and before I forget it: Dotl is a great webcomic by @bludragongal and you should probably read it before reading this.)

Bureaus and Brokers – Chapter One: The one set in a bar

"Oh hell, ████ no! This was not only a complete waste of time, but so nerve-grating, that I probably lost a whole ███████ year of my lifetime. I'd rather tear my own eyes out than do this again!" were the words Lyra would have loved to say, but instead she responded weakly: "Yeah, it was a nice evening, we should repeat it sometime." She forced the corners of her mouth upwards and hoped that her colleagues wouldn't take enough notice to realize that the smile was 150% fake.

They didn't. "Why stop now? There is a very nice bar around the corner, that serves a badass martini!", Frank replied, genuinely excited.

"Oh, sorry, I don't drink", Lyra declined defensively: "For medical reasons. I have an appointment to donate blood tomorrow." In her mind she complimented herself for this excellent alibi.

"Oh bugger!", Frank replied, but the small group left to continue their little tour.

Lyra watched them a while, and started audibly grumbling when they were away enough not to hear it. “████, of course they want to hang out at my favorite bar. Of course, when I need a drink the most…”

She took her smartphone out of her bag and started searching for another fitting establishment. It sucked that there were only a few semi decent drinking locations around in the city and now she would have to make a huge detour to the next one, instead of just making a short trip to her usual place and then walking to her flat a few houses further.

A few swipes later she called a cab and was her way to the next location. Her mood sank further, because of the obnoxious tune that sounded off from the car’s radio. And the smell in there reminded her of the wrong end of heavy drinking nights.

Finally they arrived at the bar and she quickly paid off the cab driver with a few currency units and determinedly strode forwards to the entrance.

It has been a very slow night so far for Brent. Today there were almost no patrons at the bar, so he had taken up a seat inside next to the entrance instead of standing outside. There was no point in staying in the cold if he was the only one to do it. Without prior notice a woman entered and strategically strode towards the bar.

“Hey!”, Brent called after her: “You can’t just enter!”

The woman ignored him and simply placed an order with the barkeep.

Brent sighed and stood up and walked over. He tried to sent of an imposing and respectable aura, but in the end he felt mostly annoyed.

“Excuse me, miss”, he started, but she only took a quick glance at him and waved dismissively: “It’s alright, you may leave now.”

“Wait, what?” Brent was startled.

“Go away”, she added and grabbed for the glass that the barkeep put in front of her.

“Not so fast!”, Brent interjected and demonstratively snatched her beverage away.

“Hey!”, she interjected: “That’s mine! Get your own drink, ███████!”

“I don’t drink while I work”, Brent stated: “And you won’t drink until I’ve taken a look at your ID.”

She stared at him and rolled with her eyes: “Do I look like I’m not of drinking age yet?”

He snorted: “You might look like an octogenarian and I still would check your ID.”

She starred at him for three solid seconds, during which he did his best to not flinch, and suddenly broke out into laughter: “That’s priceless! What are you, the bouncer?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I am!”

“Okay, kiddo, here!” She took her ID out and flipped it over to him, still chuckling.

Brent checked it thoroughly and gave it back. “Okay, looks like you’re fine. Have fun drinking, but don’t overdo it!” He added the last part because he felt kinda awkward.

“No worries”, she said and emptied her glass in one swift swoop: “I’m a responsible drunk.”

“Whatever”, Brent replied and returned to his station at the entrance.

While she ordered another few drinks Lyra realized that she didn’t feel that shitty anymore which was really strange, because normally she needed at least four more glasses to reach that point. Perhaps it was the simple fact that this guy had not oogled her like most – who was she kidding, all guys around did. That was a kinda refreshing, although she was sure that he’d manage in a heartbeat to destroy what little positive opinion she had of him. Most ALL people managed.

Kinda depressed again she continued to raise her spirits by trying to drown her sorrows in them.

As someone used to drinking she quickly reached that special happy state of mind, where things didn’t bother her anymore and she just felt intensely bored. So she looked around and watched the other patrons.

There were a couple of sleazy businessmen that tried to get drunk on some quality whiskey (she would have recognized that bottle even blindfolded). Then there were a few more construction-workerish looking guys, that hurdled around a tablet computer, where one of them seemed to stream one of these sports games. The faint sound let her guess that it was probably soccer or football or whatever.  She had absolutely no idea, because regular sports were all the same anyway; they lacked the finesse of real martial arts. Seriously, it was right there: martial arts. That was a form of physical exercise she could get into.

A third group consisted of a few dolled up gals, who obviously enjoyed their time together, happily chatting and laughing a lot.

Lyra let her gaze linger longer on them, she always tried to use opportunities for getting some inspirations how to put her own outfits together. That was the only reason, no doubt whatsoever.

The nice view degraded, as a few more guys entered the bar and the biggest douche of them started to harass them in the most stupid way imaginable:

“Hello ladies, how are we doing tonight?”

“None of your business!”, one gal with snazzy blond hair replied, inducing laughter in the others.

“Hey, no offense. I just tried to be nice here.”

“Maybe, but we are having our little ladies night here, so could you just let us be?”, a black-haired one asked.

The guy started grinning pleased like Punch: “But don’t you know that one man is needed to make a ladies night really pleasurable?” When he started to actually touch one of them, Lyra knew that this had gone more then far enough.

A quick glance in the entrance’s direction – of course empty, because why should the bouncer be bouncing, when there is an actual need for the bouncer to bounce – and Lyra headed off to the damsels in distress. “Hey, they said they want to be left alone!”, she hissed angrily at them.

“████ off, █████!”, on of the other guys replied, but the leader just scratched his chin: “You’re not looking bad, not at all. Perhaps you could join us? Well make sure that it will be an unforgettable night!”

“Cut that ████████, the ladies asked that you leave them alone, so you will respect that wish and back off.”

“And if I don’t do that?” He stroked contemplatively his chin.

“Then you will regret it.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Maybe...” Lyra demonstratively let her knuckles crack.

The guy waved aside: “Oh come on, really? As if I could take an office █████ like you serious. Did you ever look at yourself in a mirror? Would someone like you risk to break of one of her pretty manicured nails? Or worse, what if some of your makeup smudges?”

Lyra didn’t even bat an eye: “That’s all you got? All hat and no cattle?”

“Still more then you’ll ever have. Be a nice woman and sit down again. Perhaps you could then actually start to enjoy some attention.” He grabbed Lyras breast.

It took only a moment, but Lyra grabbed his arm and throw him with a special move down onto the ground. Then she put one of her feet on his chest and asked: “Finally willing to listen now, ███████?”

Brent was carefully balancing the three heavy crates with assorted liquors and tried to find a walking speed that was fast and stable enough at the same time. Running errands annoyed him; he had to make sure that there was nothing fishy going on, but explain that to the barkeep.

He was always back at the door and briefly put down the crates to open it, strategically placing one of his feet to keep it open. He bend down to carefully pick up the crates without loosing foot-grip on the door.

In the moment, the crates were firmly in position, a man suddenly flew through the door, landing on the concrete sidewalk. Brent glanced inside the bar, were he saw the office lady from before, breathing heavily, a look of furious anger on her face mixed with a hint of surprise, and a big stain on her outfit. Its color suggested it was an appletini.

She bristled with anger, went directly after him and said: “I hope this was a lecture how it ends if you can’t behave like a decent ███████ human being!”

The woman made a glance sideways: “Have a problem?”

Brent who just had watched, unable to do something without putting his precious cargo down first, just shake his head: “Nope. I’m sure you had a perfectly valid reason to throw all the way through the bar onto the street.”

“████ right!”, she responded, reminding him for a little moment of a cockatoo puffing its feathers.

In the distance the sirens of a police car could be heard approaching, quickly coming nearer. The matching car arrived half a minute later, and the officers quickly assessed the situation.

“That was about time!”, Lyra declared satisfied, when they cuffed up the sleazebag, but she was caught by surprise, when they continued with her. “Hey, what is that supposed to mean?!”

“You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you. Etc. pp.”

She was not so dumb to resist the police, but she was clearly not happy either.

Brent watched as the car left the scene with both of them, and shock his head: “That could have definitely gone better.”

~~~

Ford glanced over his partition screen and smiled, mildly mischievous. "I think this is the perfect opportunity to switch the game to the other group, don't you think so?"

"Oh come on, I was having a run here, you can't seriously leave my character hanging in limbo like this!", Lyra said and crossed her arms.

"Hey, I'm the gamemaster, remember rule number zero."

"Pff, fine, whatever..."She grabbed her glass and downed its content, although it was just plain, ordinary water.

Thistle looked up from the book that she had read and panickly started to shuffle around the myriad of sourcebooks surrounding her: "But I'm not ready with my character yet!"

"Don't worry", Ford replied: "As long as you have the basics down, we can start. We won't get into the finer mechanics of the game until later. Also I think it would be nicer to begin the scene with Mr. Orrig."

He nodded in the direction of the orc, who put down his character sheet. "Ve can start venever you vant."

[prossima-nebulosa]

50 to 60 and 90 to 100 just because. Consider it as payback, but really I'm curious and I like to snoop into peoples lives so please talk about yourself some more *nudge nudge*

Okay I suppose I deserve it since I made you write personal stuff for like 40 minutes, but just as you said I love this stuff so much as well! So yeah thanks sweetie

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

Nothing, I’m a pretty boring person. I only collect mangas and comics yeah. Sometimes, though, I randomly pick up stuff I like or that sparks my interest.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

This is hard. I’ll pick you for convenience reasons: “Ed Sheeran - Sing” (I’m biased here, you seem to like Ed Sheeran - plus you’re both gingers - and Sing is one of the song I love the most lol)

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

HOW ITALIANS… THESE MEMES ARE KILLING ME- STOP ME BEFORE I GO CRAZY, I’VE BEEN SPAMMING MY FB AND TWITTER DASHBOARDS WITH THIS STUFF!

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I have no idea what the heck is this stuff and I’m too lazy to google it. Anyway using my super logical powers it seems related on some kind of movie genre… Since I’ve heard this names before. Sadly I don’t watch that many films so I cannot say.

Errata corrige: it seems I need to watch rocky horror picture show because there’s a guy in drag.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

I suppose it was one of my classmate a week ago. She wasn’t sad, but sick. She burst into tears cause her stomach was hurting a lot and she couldn’t handle it anymore so I hugged her and told her to go home and get some rest. She told me she suffers from gastritis poor girl…

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I’m quite sure I did some very stupid and idiotic stuff to prove my points but I cannot seem to remember one right now. Well the last one that’s still stuck in my head was proving the apple I chose to eat was a good one. It wasn’t. I ate it anyway to prove to my dad, uncle and cousin I was right.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

I love quiet people, I’m not talking about introvert ones, but those very relaxed, super chilled, people who speak in a soft voice. I find endearing when people get all frustrated as well. 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

This song never ceases to amaze me. It gives me a very weird vibe, like I’m in a theatre and I’m playing some whimsical drama lol

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

They are both my friend Juls lol Since she’s the only one who drinks in our group.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

The foundation of Rome. No seriously I’ve never thought about it. I love almost any Greek and Roman myths because they’re surprisingly savage.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Okay here’s the fact: I like poetry because I cannot seem to understand it at all. It’s something so culturally superior to me that I’ve never grasped a single poetry without an explanation at the end lol Moreover my knowledge in this field is pretty basic for it’s mostly school related.

Anyway some of my favourite ones are: 

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] by E.E.Cummings (I found this one out while reading a fanfiction lol)

Il Sabato del Villaggio by Giacomo Leopardi (This one I love so much.)

X Agosto by Giovanni Pascoli (This is stuck on me for some reasons, I find very endearing the comparison between the dad and the bird.)

“Ho sceso, dandoti il braccio, almeno un milione di scale” by Eugenio Montale (I remember this one because there was a post around here that proved Montale’s affirmation was indeed right and I’m still seeking it.)

90: talk about one of you favorite cities.

This is one of those questions you are not allowed to do. Now I’m gonna rant about my love for Rome for hours on end.

Do I even need to explain why I love Rome so much? I’m emotionally attached to it since I was little. My future was all planned in that city and I’m still not over having moved away from it. Rome is that kind of big city full of tourists and romans who throw profanities at each others and I love it so much. Being there can make me so damn happy I cannot even fathom how is it possible. 

Rome is everything I’ve ever dreamed about seriously.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Nowhere cause I’m a broke-ass… However I wanted to go to some big amusement park.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

I don’t put parmiggiano on pastas. Aside soup dish ones because it’s tastier this way. I put a very huge amount of parmiggiano on risotto though. I seriously have a weird obsession for parmiggiano on risotto.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

I collect my hair on a hair clip. I hate having my hair on my face.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

THAT’S ME!!! Just kidding, today actually it’s my brother’s best friend and my uncle birthdays. Moreover in two days it’s my dad’s birthday as well. Then comes mine on 22nd March.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Crying because I’m broke while being offered food from my friends is how we usually spend our weekends.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

It does everything automatically I only have to reboot it sometimes.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENFP type, Aries and I have no idea cause I don’t like HP. Last time I checked I was Gryffindor I believe. 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

Never went on a real hiking expedition. However I did hiking on those fake platforms and I loved it so much. The trainer was very surprised and told me I was quite good. I am indeed a monkey.

That happened five years ago more or less, so I can’t guarantee I’m still capable of doing it.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

There are plenty of them but I’ll list the ones who came up on my mind on the spot:

Golden Age - The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

Bulletproof - La Roux

Seven Days in Sunny June - Jamiroquai

Mystic Eyes - (Vision of Escaflowne’s ending song)

Fanfare - (One Piece film Strong World ending theme)

Dive in the Sky - (Planetes opening theme)

Estate - Negramaro

Gli ostacoli del cuore - Elisa 

L’Amour Toujours - Gigi D’Agostino

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I would go five years into the past. It would be pretty pointless seriously, because even though I regret my school choice I’ve already gave in on the idea of redoing it. I had fun in high school despite choosing the wrong one, but I still wanna go back and tell myself to beware what’s gonna happen. Maybe I would tell myself to hang out more and enjoy those years because afterwards it won’t be all fun and smooth orz

Actually I just wanna go in the past because I love the past? Does it make sense? I wouldn’t be satisfied with only five years, I wanna go back so far in the past and see things I’ve never experienced!

[exosmuttytalk]

Drifting Apart - Exo Sehun One-Shot

Characters: None. I wrote with Sehun in mind because he was my nº1 at the time, but it could be applicable to whoever you like.

Genre: So much angst.

Word count: 1300 approx.

Summary: A message Sehun would get from his girlfriend on any given day.

Comments: This was my first ever incursion in the fanfiction world and I was personally going througha pretty shitty time, so it definitely reflects on the writing. Also quite sloppy, as I said, first timer.

I feel like we need to talk.

I don’t know if I’m happy anymore.

I still have all these negative reactions. I still get jealous whenever there’s even just the possibility of other girls around, even if it’s just in my head and not in real life. I still get mad whenever you, for whatever reason, don’t feel like hanging out with me, but you prefer to spend your time with other people. I still feel awful when we argue. I still cry like a baby every single time.

I still have all those things. But I don’t have any of the positive reactions.

There’s no excitement anymore. I don’t laugh as much as I used to, unless I’m having an especially silly day or feeling cheery because of some other reason. I know you try and that your schedule is not specially forgiving or permissive with our relationship, but I find it very hard to cheer up or to feel motivated when it’s you who is trying to make me feel that way.

I don’t feel, don’t know, all those butterflies in my stomach anymore. You are not indifferent to me, but there are many times, when we’re alone in the same room that I feel I could be with any other person besides you and it wouldn’t be much of a difference. I don’t find anything to talk about with you. We have no common ground. I don’t get excited with the things you like and you don’t get excited with the things I do.

Some time ago I used to come back home after having spent the evening with you and I felt happy and bright. I felt like I could climb the highest mountain because I felt so high after being with you, no matter how crappy day to day life could be. Now, there are times when I come back home after being with you and it feels like I never went out in the first place. Sometimes my siblings make me smile much easier without even trying, without realising I need someone to make me smile.

I’m sorry to be telling you all this through here, while you’re away, exhausted and fed up with all the rehearsals, presentations, concerts, interviews and your boss nagging all day because everything you do, all the effort you put into trying your best does never seem to be enough. But I’m feeling so…apathetic. And whenever I don’t feel apathy, I just feel anger.

I feel myself boring you. And you bore me too.

Sometimes you would come and say all this pretty things, or you’d come and hug me or kiss me, and I feel so uncomfortable. I know you’re expecting a natural reaction to come out from me but it never does. You used to get that reaction some time ago, and I would return all the lovely words, the hugs and sweet kisses, but I can’t get myself to do that anymore. And it hurts me so much, because I’ve told you many times how when you pull me into a hug it feels like home. But it doesn’t anymore. Lately I’ve been feeling as if the home you build every time you put your arms around me was constantly fighting and the only place I could inhabit was my bedroom.

But there are some other days which are not like that. Days in which I feel happy I can be with you even if it’s just for an hour. In which I hug you, smell your scent and wish I could only smell that whenever I wake up every day. But all those days last for so little time…

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so sorry to hurt you. Maybe I need time, I don’t know.

I don’t know for how long would I be able not miss you. I don’t know if I ever will star missing your presence around. I guess this is the right time to find out, as you’re out in tour and I couldn’t tag along this time. Nonetheless, I stare at my phone multiple times a day, I check the last time you were online and if you’ve happened to say something in any of our common groups of friends, check TV and all the internet blogs to see what you’re up to, and all of those times I wish we were talking and that we would talk more often. But I never seem to have anything to tell you.

Your life always seems to be much more complete than mine, in every sense it can be. I don’t think I fit in. You have your job, which takes up most of your time and which you love. Even though I like your friends and all the other guys, I don’t fit in there. You’re all so talented; your lives are so hectic and always have stuff to do, even in your days off. I don’t fit in your family. They’re radically different to my own. I like them and they like me. But I don’t seem to get used to the person I am whenever I’m around them. I don’t want a different family; I am fine with my own. Ourselves, our personalities, we don’t fit either. We don’t complement each other in any way; instead we seem to fight to see who can win over the other one. We don’t like the same things and we can’t even agree on what film to watch when we actually get to go to the cinema together. We haven’t had the same life experiences whatsoever; we don’t even give value to the same stuff.

We are completely different. All of this comes to my mind whenever there’s a group hangout with the guys and I get to go with you.  You are all able to talk and talk and talk nonstop because you have many things in common and, after all the years you’ve been together, sometimes you’re indistinguishable from each other as you are so alike. I don’t understand much of the stuff you all say. I know you always tell me to ask whenever something arises that I don’t get, but I can’t spend my life asking and never experiencing things on my own.

I’m sorry for all of this. I know it is not fair to you. You have so many things in mind and I shouldn’t be the one putting you through more problems, but here I am. I think we’ve lost something along our way. Or maybe I lost myself.

I really miss the sensation of being in love. I know I love you. I know I want the best for you. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I know I want you near me. I don’t want anyone to hurt you or to belittle you. I want you to be able to make the most of your opportunities and I want you to feel supported all the way. But I also feel all this for my best friend, my siblings and my parents.

I don’t feel passion. I don’t feel excitement or emotion. And I’ve been so passionate for and about you… I don’t know where it all went.

I don’t know what you’re feeling. Maybe you can identify with some of the things I’ve said; maybe it all comes as a surprise to you. I don’t want to make you unhappy and I know the first thing you will say is sorry. I am sorry too. I know you’re trying. Our situation is difficult and I am difficult, but you never stop trying. I love that about you, you know that?

I don’t know when you will be able to read all of this. I’m really sorry for this message. I’ve already lost track of the time it is whenever you are right now. It’s 3:27 pm right here and I haven’t slept for longer than four hours in the last day. I’m sorry if this wakes you up. Talk to me whenever you have some free time, okay?

I love you too

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