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bellaveux · 1 year ago

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BETWEEN THE PAGES | wanda maximoff x fem!reader

genre: college au! fluff, smut

summary: professor maximoff asks you out on a date.

content warnings: MINORS DNI! fluff, smut, college au!, unspecified age gap, professor!wanda, student!reader, bit of alcohol consumption, smut; service top!wanda, power bottom!reader kinda, making out, marking, fingering and oral (r! receiving), overstimulation, little bit of a praise kink

word count: 9.5k

note: i’ve been meaning to write another professor!wanda and black cat!reader fic so wrote this as kind of a prequel to AFTER CLASS but it’s long overdue lol. i hope u like it!

You always came to class early. That was the first thing she noticed about you. But, there was something about the way you entered her lecture hall for the first time, sitting just a few rows away from her desk, close enough for her to see you without anyone getting in the way. It was something about you that was so endearing. She just couldn’t figure out what exactly it was about you that made her stomach flutter and her heart beat faster than it typically does. Usually dressed in a skirt that gracefully swayed with each step and a cozy sweater that hugged your figure, you never failed to greet her with a shy smile each day you entered the room, and each time she swooned. Too cute. It was like that for the first few months: watching the door patiently to see when you would walk in, stealing glances your way when you were seated in front of her as she taught, or occasionally looking over the book she was reading while you were taking a test, reading a book, or working on notes. She couldn’t help it. It also didn’t help that you were not only beautiful but smart, too. Every test, assignment, and project she had given out, you nailed them with ease, almost like you'd already mastered the subject prior to her teachings. Perfect was what you were. She thought about it every day.

As each day passed, Wanda always looked forward to the days when you would enter her class. And she wasn’t trying to be a creep about it in any way, but she couldn’t help but look… and wonder. She wondered about what you were like outside of her class, if you were just as reserved and quiet as you were in here or if you were bubbly and talked a lot, and what your voice sounded like. You were quiet. And it wasn’t a quality that she didn’t like at all; in fact, it only made her more intrigued, like you were a mystery that she wanted to solve. In the quiet moments, when the world slowed down, her thoughts would invariably drift to you—your earnest gaze, your subtle smiles, the way your eyes seemed to light up the room.

But despite the elation of her thoughts of you, she makes sure to remind herself why you were here in the first place: you were her student. And for your professor to have such thoughts about one of her students, it was wrong. She knew this from the beginning. But try as she might to suppress her emotions, Wanda found herself captivated by your presence anyway.

And she really tried, to be fair. She tried to ignore her thoughts of you in her head, but she could only do so much. In the end, she couldn’t resist asking you to meet her after class during her office hours. She’d try multiple times to find the most credible excuse to get you to stay, and usually, she’d opt for subjects regarding your work and even ask you if you were interested in being a teacher’s assistant. Who in their right mind would decline that offer? You’d get paid on top of being alone in the same room with your favorite professor—the, despite her intimidating looks, easygoing professor that you had been fond of since day one. In fact, everyone liked her. Most of the students thought she was hot anyway, which you had to agree on as well.

The work she had you do was simple, for the most part. Grading papers and organizing paperwork and files for her were the most common tasks she gave you. Eventually she had you read a few essays and reports, asking you to judge how well they were written. Wanda thought of it as a learning experience—to read, collect your thoughts, elaborate, and then discuss with you on that same subject. It was a little nerve-racking, to say the least, but really, you enjoyed every second you spent with this professor. Especially since she was so nice to you.

And you’d be lying if you said you had never noticed her lingering eyes on you on several occasions. Sometimes she stands behind your seat and leans over to see your assignments, and you can smell her sweet perfume and feel her breath against the top of your head. Then, you’d be lying a second time if you said it didn’t make your stomach flutter each time she got close to you.

Of course, with the quiet moments you shared together each week, you began to notice some things you'd never noticed before: how she's unable to get to work without a hot cup of tea using that old, faded, and chipped mug that the university gave her a couple years ago, how she spends an extra few minutes in her office at the end of each day because she always misplaces her ID card, or how she constantly has her nose stuck in a book—a poetry book you’d often see, when she wasn’t reading those one of those meaty, mind-bending volumes.

And as time went by, you also began to notice more and more the way she would look at you. It wasn’t as if you were completely oblivious to her stares. You could see clearly when her eyes would linger a little longer than necessary, occasionally catching the flicker of a smile that your professor seemed to suppress. It was as if you had developed a sixth sense for each time her demeanor shifted or her eyes would trace over you, just as she was doing now.

"Is everything alright, Professor?" You say, your voice coming out smoothly, cutting through the quietness that filled the room.

"Yes, I’m fine." Wanda cleared her throat and turned away from you, her eyes darting back to the book she was supposedly reading. "It’s, um... I’m just lost in my thoughts."

"Lost in your thoughts or lost in trying not to stare too obviously?"

Your professor’s eyebrows twitched upwards, your question pinking her cheeks as she turned the page of her book mindlessly while attempting to hide her smile. "I assure you, (Y/n). This book is… intense."

"Intense?" You rolled your eyes, not entirely convinced by her excuse, as your eyes traced the cover of her book. "Hmmm, The Book of Nature… William Wordsworth?"

Wanda skimmed through the pages of her book and cleared her throat for the second time, "It's a deep exploration of... um, philosophical concepts. Quite thought-provoking, really."

"Philosophical concepts?" You repeated with a sly smile playing lightly at your lips. "Are you sure that’s what it’s about? If I remember correctly, Wordsworth is a poet, right? And you look pretty relaxed for someone who’s reading about some intense philosophical poetry."

"Well, I think philosophical debates can be strangely soothing sometimes," she told you with a chuckle, slowly making her way out of the nervous state she was in just a moment ago.

"Really? I mean, I love poetry, but that’s quite the intellectual balance you’ve got there."

"Yeah," she breathed, her confidence seemingly flowing from her body right in front of your eyes as she used a finger to adjust the collar of her button-up. "And speaking of balance, how do you manage to keep your work in check while being so captivatingly distracting?"

The blush that paints your cheeks presents itself much more quickly than you could’ve imagined. It was adorable. Managing to turn away from her this time, you avoid her eyes as yours land back down on the papers that were set in front of you, completely forgotten while being under your professor’s gaze. You could practically feel the smile on her face as she watched your every movement. Wanda pulled her office chair closer to yours, where you had brought an extra chair up to her desk as you worked. She set her book down softly, mindlessly leaning in closer and closer to your face as her eyes kept darting between your eyes and those delicious-looking lips of yours. Her tongue dragged itself along the bottom of her lip subconsciously as she stared at you, not even hiding her intentions this time.

"You make it awfully hard to concentrate, (Y/n)," she continued as her eyes traced over the contours of your face, down to the skin of your neck as it strained slightly underneath the collar of your sweater. "I find it rather difficult to stay focused when you’re sitting in front of me."

"Um, Professor… I think we should…" With a flustered smile and stern eyes, you motioned over to the clock right by the door, notifying her that her time with you was nearly up.

Wanda only smiled before speaking again, nodding her head as she leaned back slowly to glance over to check the time, "Of course. Do carry on with your student duties, Miss (L/n)."

To be honest, it’s the first time she has heard you talk so much. Your voice was delicate and smooth, a voice that she wanted to keep hearing over and over again. Talking to you was something she wanted more of. She was quite smug, thinking about how all the rest of the students who admired you for your intelligence and work ethic didn’t get to talk with you as much as she did or spend time with you as much as she did.

A triumphant warmth spread through Wanda's chest as she turned back to read her book. Successfully making you flustered had ignited a sense of giddiness she hadn't felt in a while. But, a calm smile played on her lips, a facade she effortlessly maintained to match your demeanor, masking the happiness that bubbled within her. It’s evident throughout the days, where fragments of her infatuation for you are sprinkled into every moment you spend together. In those moments, she loved everything about you—from the way you worked and focused on your tasks, to the way your voice sounded despite not talking all that much, to the way you furrowed your eyebrows when your eyes stumbled upon something that confused you, or when your lips would curve into that pretty smile she loved to see so much.

Eventually, Wanda came to terms with her feelings rather quickly, but made no move to pursue them just yet. For you to be her lover was something that was not allowed, especially in her profession. She’d also still have to tackle the subject of whether or not you harbored even the slightest similarity about whether you had the same interest as she did for you. During moments where she would sit alone in her office or at home, she’d often let her mind drift off to the thought of you and how she would treat you if she were able to call you hers. Gifts like flowers, books, or jewelry would gladly be given as attempts to make you happy. She’d give you flowers every day if it allowed her to see that smile of yours for even just one second.

The two of you spend the rest of the semester filled with mindless flirting and grading essays, projects, and assignments, all while Wanda reads most of the time, and by reading, you mean she skims over a couple pages and spends the next few minutes admiring the beauty that is you before her. And sometimes, she lets her mind wander just as her eyes do, down to the skin of your thighs underneath those black tights, wondering how it would feel to have her hands all over your legs. She wonders how you would sound, moaning her name as you give her the sweet taste of heaven. If you hadn't been so engrossed in the activity your mind was occupied with, you'd see how her eyes latch to your frame and the way her mouth waters at the sight. It takes everything in her to keep her composure and not pull you into her private office and have her way with you.

She wants to do this correctly, of course. She wants you to want it, too. Though, it may seem like you return her advances and all the rest of her flirty remarks, she wants to make sure it’s something you are sure of.

So, she asks. And she starts by giving you a gift.

"Shakespeare?" You questioned curiously, running a finger along the spine of the book as a shy smile slowly etched its way onto your face. "I didn’t really take you for a romantic, Professor."

She had given you a gift before you were able to step away so soon from her and her class room. The book—The Sonnets by William Shakespeare—rested neatly in the palm of your hand as Wanda watched you inspect it with eager curiosity. You had mentioned your love of poetry once, and with her own collection sitting in the comfort of her own home, she decided to give you one of the books that she loved so much. It was romantic and a tad bit cliché, she’d have to admit, but to make you happy just as you did for her was the only thing she wanted from this.

Wanda brought a hand up to scratch the back of her neck, her eyes darting down to the book in your hand, "Well, I-I appreciate the beauty in romance, yes."

"Thank you for this. I’ll make sure to read it over break," you say, holding the book tightly between your chest and your arm before turning to make your way out of the door. "See you next semester."

Wanda had pondered it, thinking how long the two weeks of winter break would feel with you away from her. The weekends already felt like too long of a wait before Monday came around—the first day of each week when you stepped foot in her class. She looked forward to every day because of you and loved thinking about you on the weekends, then she’d repeat it all over again. But, two weeks. Two whole weeks without seeing that pretty face of yours or hearing that quiet, pretty voice of yours—it sounded dreadful.

"(Y/n)?" She called out to you before you could step out of her empty lecture hall. "Can you stay for a bit? I have something to ask."

She asked you out to dinner in the next few minutes after going on a quite adorable ramble about her being so enamored by you that she couldn’t help but ignore her own boundaries as your professor and ask you out on a date. She was confident but, at the same time, so anxious to hear what you had to say about it. The stare you gave her after her little speech was enough to make her want to dig a hole so deep into the earth and crawl into it so that she’d never be able to see the light of embarrassment. Wanda watched as you clutched the book she gave you tightly in your arms. By this point, she was so sure you’d turn her down given how long you were taking to answer.

Of course, when you answered, she couldn’t process it correctly for the first few seconds, but as soon as she did, her eyes lit up just as brightly as the sun on a clear day. The smile she was biting back was contagious, making you roll your eyes and smile back as she fought the urge to wrap her arms around you. And for a moment, you even thought as if you could imagine a tail wagging back and forth behind her in excitement. You both agreed on next Friday night at eight in the evening, when she would pick you up, take you out to a nice restaurant, and treat you like a queen. You deserved a lovely evening out, and Wanda couldn’t wait to share it with you.

As she went about her daily tasks leading up to that Friday, an uncontainable excitement welled up within her, and she couldn't help but steal moments to envision the evening ahead, leaning back in her office chair to imagine the upcoming night with a dreamy smile on her face, the prospect of sharing dinner and conversation with you filling her mind. Her heart raced with anticipation, wondering what you’d wear on that night, wondering how even prettier you would seem so close next to her, wondering how your hand would fit in hers, and wondering if you’d let her steal a kiss or two, or maybe, if she was lucky, even more. And god, she prayed for all of the luck to be on her side for even just one night.

When Friday came, Wanda rushed home from her office at the university to get ready before she would drive to pick you up at the address you had emailed her—she forgot to ask where you lived, but before she could ask, you had emailed her your address a couple hours earlier. She smiled at the thought, being so excited for the date that she forgot to ask one of the most important questions. Wanda settled on wearing an all-black suit, one of her favorites, and made sure to smooth out every wrinkle with a precise touch, each movement revealing the anticipation bubbling beneath her calm exterior. She knew that your choice of attire was a mystery, and her all-black ensemble was a versatile canvas, ready to complement whatever you had in mind.

But, fuck, when she saw you—God, she was just in pure awe at the sight of you.

Wanda arrived a little bit early, the anticipation of your dinner date bubbling within her. She parked her car outside of your apartment building and leaned against it, one foot casually crossing over the other. She glanced at her watch, checking the time, but her heart raced with a different kind of countdown. As the moments passed, Wanda’s excitement only grew. But when you finally emerged from the building, the sight that greeted Wanda left her speechless. The dress you wore wrapped around your frame perfectly, the silky fabric resting on your soft curves, along with a daring slit that ran up your thigh, revealing a glimpse of your leg with each step you took, and it drove her absolutely crazy. Wanda's breath caught in her throat as she gazed at you; the sight of your shy smile made her heart race even faster.

Fuck, she wanted to say. And for a moment, she struggled to find her words, but not less than a second later, she managed to regain her composure, a smitten grin forming on her lips, "You look beautiful, (Y/n)."

"Thank you, Professor," you replied, smiling innocently up into her eyes in a way that drove her insane. "You’re looking pretty amazing as well."

Wanda couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement at your compliment, but she was still spellbound by the stunning vision before her. She offered her arm to you and walked with you towards the car, opening the car door for you. But, she couldn't shake the image of that tantalizing slit in your dress; the glimpse of your leg driving her senses into overdrive.

Throughout the night, Wanda found it nearly impossible to tear her gaze away from that slit in your dress. The subtle but alluring glimpse of your skin had cast a spell on her, igniting a fire of desire and fascination that she struggled to contain. Each moment she spent with you, Wanda's mind wandered, and she’d stumble on her words as she spoke, all because of her thoughts returning again and again to the sight that had driven her senses wild earlier. She couldn't help but steal glances at that tantalizing slit in your dress whenever you shifted or crossed your legs, her heart racing each time her eyes traced the path upward. And every now and then, you would catch Wanda's lingering gaze, a knowing smile playing on your lips. You seemed to relish the effect your attire had on your professor, your confidence growing as the evening progressed.

The date was going splendidly, with you and Wanda engaging in lively conversations, sharing stories, and relishing each other's company. You laughed together, savored delicious meals, and exchanged meaningful glances that hinted at your growing connection. Both of you were having a great time, enjoying the chemistry and camaraderie that seemed to come so naturally. However, your dress, still with its tantalizing slit, had become a magnetic force that Wanda found impossible to resist. It was as if her mind had been spellbound, repeatedly drawn back to that alluring detail with every glance in your direction. While you spoke passionately about your love for literature and your dreams, Wanda tried her best to maintain eye contact and stay engaged in the conversation. But time and again, her gaze would wander, trailing along the path of that tempting slit.

She stared all night, wondering what it would feel like to run her fingertips against your soft skin, wondering how you’d look when you slip out of your dress slowly, wondering how you’d sound—and the precious imagery alone caused all higher brain function to abandon her.

As the night continued, Wanda couldn't help but feel overwhelming happiness. Your presence was intoxicating, and your smile was a beacon that lit up the evening. It was a feeling she had longed for—the joy of being in the company of someone who not only understood her intellectually but also stirred something deeper within her. You were perfect. So perfect. She wouldn’t have had it any other way. Wanda was proud to have even come this far with you and wondered if you’d allow her the chance to take you out for a second time. She would be glad, too. God, she prayed you’d want to.

Dinner ended sooner than both of you would have liked. Wanda found herself lost in the sight of you the whole night, wishing she could linger in the moment a little while longer. And the idea of taking you home felt like an interruption to a masterpiece still in progress. She held your hand as she walked with you slowly down the path back to her car, which was parked a few ways away for this very reason.

But there was one thing Wanda couldn’t get off of her mind as she led you inside her car and started the drive back to your apartment—your lips. She wanted so badly, more than anything, to kiss you. Those lips that had been speaking to her for the entire night—she wanted to taste them and feel them against hers. With every passing streetlight, the desire to lean over and capture your lips at every red light only grew stronger. Her heart raced, and her fingers gripped the steering wheel every time she thought about it. The desire to taste the sweetness of your lips was undeniable. Yet, she hesitated. The night had been so perfect, and she didn't want to rush things.

"Thank you for tonight, Professor," you softly as soon as the car came to a slow stop in front of your building. "I had a wonderful time."

"Well, it’s not every day I get to have dinner with someone as beautiful as you," Wanda said, turning her head to face you as her hand gripped the steering wheel.

"You really know how to lay it on thick, don't you, Professor?" You rolled your eyes, trying to fight back the laugh that almost spilled from your mouth.

Wanda grinned from ear to ear and glanced at the street in front of her for only a moment, "I mean, only when it’s the truth—"

Mid-sentence, just as Wanda spoke, you leaned in and planted a soft, sweet kiss on her cheek, maybe a tad bit close to the corner of her lips. It was a sudden, tender gesture that caught Wanda completely off guard, making her grip tighten around the gear shift of the car. Then, you gently place your soft hand on top of hers, causing her vision to go hazy with clouds of lust, devotion, and affection. You don’t miss the way her ears turned red as you pulled away from her face.

Eventually, Wanda found her voice, though it was tinged with surprise as she stammered out, "Well, that was... unexpected."

In her mind, truthfully, she wanted to ask you to do it again and again and again. Maybe she’d ask for you to kiss her lips next time, but she’d never let you go off to do anything else.

"I think you’re too much of a flatterer," you chuckled softly, your fingers gently tracing the outline of Wanda's hand on the center console. "Do you say that to all of your students, Professor?"

Still slightly stunned from the tiny kiss, Wanda turned to face you. Her usual composure had been momentarily shattered by the feeling of your lips against her skin, and she met your eyes with a genuine, heartfelt sincerity, "No… just you."

The words slipped out of her mouth, unfiltered and genuine, carrying with them the depth of her feelings. In that moment, Wanda realized that her attraction to you was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It wasn't just casual flirting with someone who she thought was pretty, as she did in the beginning; it was something deeper, something that had taken her by surprise the longer she had gotten to know you. Wanda's heart continued to race as she watched your playful expression soften, replaced by a warm and genuine smile.

"Do you want to come in, Professor?"

Wanda, still feeling the electrifying effects of the way your lips felt, faltered once more. The idea of spending more time with you was undeniably tempting, but she knew that if she continued this evening further, it would require every ounce of her self-control. Her hands ached to touch you, to run them along your waist and hips, and she longed to press her lips against yours over and over again. The dress you wore was not much help either; her eyes were always glancing down to that slit that showed off the soft skin of your leg. In her mind, a hundred affirmations echoed, each one urging her to say yes. So, she did.

You led her towards your apartment, hand in hand, walking down the softly lit halls of the building in a happy, expectant silence. Although she tried to hide it, Wanda could feel her own excitement building to an almost unbearable level. Her heart raced, and her breaths came a touch quicker as you led her to your place, the feeling of your hand in hers setting her skin on fire. When you reached the door, you fumbled for your keys with one hand, your other still firmly clasped with Wanda's. Your movements were deliberate, yet there was an undeniable excitement radiating from you, a subtle telltale sign that you, too, were looking forward to what lay ahead.

A sense of comfort washed over Wanda as she stepped inside, the atmosphere of your warm apartment enveloping her as she followed you in. She watched your hips as you walked in front of her, her cheeks and ears reddening at the sight once more. Your space was also thoughtfully decorated, exuding a lived-in charm that made it feel like home.

"I’m sorry about the mess. It’s usually tidier, I promise," you tell her, placing your bag gently on the counter in the kitchen before turning back to look at her. "I honestly wasn’t planning on inviting you in yet, but… I don’t know; I guess I couldn’t help myself."

Wanda, however, didn't seem the least bit bothered. Her warm smile remained unwavering, and she looked around with genuine appreciation. She swallowed the lump in her throat, her hands now stuffed into the pockets of her pants, coolly leaning against the wall, "No, I don’t mind it. And it’s not messy at all. It’s a lovely home."

Her eyes roamed over your cozy living room with its soft, inviting couch, adorned with a few well-placed cushions. The warm glow of dimmed lamps bathed the room in a soft, comforting light. Bookshelves lined one wall, their shelves cradling an eclectic collection of literature, each book seeming to hold a story of its own. The scent of a vanilla-scented candle lingered in the air. It was a cozy, lived-in scent that made Wanda feel instantly at ease—a reflection of you and everything you loved. And on your coffee table, amidst your own collection of books, she saw the one she had given you. It lay there, open and well-loved, with pages slightly ruffled and a bookmark placed near the end. In no way would Wanda have minded the mess at all, not when she was surrounded by the tokens of you and your life.

"I’m almost done with it," Wanda heard you say as she looked around your apartment. "The sonnets are really beautiful. I think I’m enjoying it better than his plays."

The professor raised an eyebrow at your claim, "Bold statement, (Y/n)… But I’m glad you’re enjoying it."

You smiled at her as you moved to get two glasses and a bottle of wine that you’ve been saving for special occasions, and this was definitely one of them. But when you turned to look back at Wanda, her gaze, once warm and affectionate, had intensified with desire and lust as she watched you pour the wine into the glasses. Her eyes held an unmistakable hunger, as if you were the most captivating thing in the world, and it didn't go unnoticed. Wanda's stare was so intense and filled with longing that it seemed to sear through you like a fiery caress. It made your heart race, and your breaths quickened as you tried to maintain your composure. With that look in your eye, you knew this night was about to get even more special.

"What are you thinking so hard about over there, Professor?" You asked with a smirk that made Wanda weak in her knees.

Wanda shook her head and bit her lip, her cheeks reddening at the topic of her own thoughts. She made her way towards you as you slowly lifted the wine glass to your lips. And although you were occasionally flustered by her intense gaze, you had a reputation for your own brand of composed charm. Wanda approached the counter where the wine glasses were placed, her fingers lightly caressing the stem of a glass as she lifted it herself. Her movements were fluid and sensual, drawing your attention like a moth to a flame. But this time, when she turned to face you, she found herself locked in a gaze that mirrored her own desire. Your eyes held a magnetic allure, an intensity that matched Wanda's in every way—your look was a silent challenge, a dare to see who would break first.

You brought the wineglass to your lips, and the woman in front of you watched with a heightened sense of awareness, her gaze locked onto the way your lips delicately touched the rim of the glass. Your soft and inviting lips seemed to beckon Wanda like an irresistible temptation. They glistened with the remnants of the wine, and a thousand thoughts raced through her mind. She couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to taste those lips and feel their softness against her own. She wondered how your lips would feel, how they would respond to her touch, and how you’d moan into her mouth. And she couldn’t get her mind off of it.

"Professor," you spoke, setting your glass down on the counter before stepping close in front of her. "I think… you’re thinking too much."

Wanda’s anticipation was palpable, and she held her breath as you closed the distance between the two of you, her heart pounding in her chest. As you stood so close, your breaths nearly mingling, you sensed that she was still overthinking the moment. And finally, in a bold move, your hands reached out, gently tugging on her suit jacket, pulling her even closer. The touch was electrifying, sending a shiver down her spine as your lips met hers in a deep kiss. Wanda's breath caught in her throat as your lips met hers, and she melted into the kiss with a soft groan, moaning at the sweetness of your lips that she had been waiting all night to feel.

You led her to your bedroom with your lips never leaving hers and your arm around her neck while your other hand pulled her jacket roughly off her shoulders. A laugh bubbles against your mouth as you trip over the rug on the way to your room, but Wanda catches you with a chuckle, her hands at your waist holding you against her. Your lips fit so perfectly against hers, and the taste of you on her tongue unlocked all of the desires she had been trying to keep at bay. All she could think about was you. Mere seconds have gone by when your back finally meets the soft comfort of your bed, all while Wanda explores your mouth with her tongue. She indulges herself in the taste of you and tugs desperately at your dress, just as you tried to undo her belt, albeit poorly. The gasp you let out when Wanda moved her head down to your neck, sucking, licking, and nipping at your sensitive skin, distracted you from your current task, leaving her belt loosely unbuckled.

"Mmh, Professor…" Your bedroom was painted with your needy moans and Wanda’s soft grunts as she pressed herself against you, your body pressed in between her and the mattress.

"Wanda," she murmured into your neck, leaving marks on your skin as her mouth explored. "You can call me Wanda… Please."

You smiled and ran your hand through her hair, urging her to look at you and bring her face close to yours just for you to say her name in the sultriest way that made the woman in front of you physically stutter, "Wanda."

Wanda swallows the lump in her throat, dazed as she watches your lips as you spoke out her name. She parted her lips, unaware of the hazy look in her eyes as she stared at you. Dragging her tongue over her bottom lip, she subconsciously leaned in to press another kiss to your sweet mouth, but you cupped her face with a soft yet commanding touch before she could close the distance. Wanda's breath caught in her throat, her heart racing as your gentle fingers caressed her skin. She felt a shiver run down her spine as your touch lingered, trailing slowly from her face, down her neck, and over her collarbone. Your hands moved with deliberate tenderness, unbuttoning the rest of her shirt one button at a time.

And she could only watch; her eyes locked onto your hands as if they were the most mesmerizing thing in the world. Your movements were slow, each button releasing its hold on the fabric with a soft, tantalizing pop. Wanda, lost in the sensations of your touch, was in a daze once again. Her eyes remained fixed on your hands, watching as they worked their way down, unbuttoning her shirt one by one. Your fingers brushed against her skin, leaving a trail of warmth and desire in their wake. With the last button undone, you gently slid Wanda's shirt off her shoulders, and it slipped down her arms, a whisper of fabric gliding to the floor. You couldn’t help but smile at her, hovering over you with a black bra on, her pants unbuckled, and her hair tousled from all of the making out. God, was she beautiful.

And Wanda thought the same thing about you, if not more. You still had your dress on, and the way you spread your legs a bit so she could settle comfortably on top of you did nothing but make her feral. Wanda’s mouth practically watered at the sight of your exposed skin. With a gentle and curious hand, her fingers danced along the skin of your leg, slipping under that same tantalizing slit that had been teasing her the whole night. She kissed your chest as she did so, but with the way you were squirming underneath her, Wanda couldn’t get the thought of your hot, naked, trampling body out of her head. And she could feel it—fuck, that lacy underwear you were wearing—as if you had planned this all along. It was driving her absolutely insane.

"You can take my clothes off for me," you whispered lowly into her ear, and for a moment, Wanda froze at your words.

Soon enough, her hands started pulling roughly at every piece of fabric she could get her hands on. She needed to see you. She was going to lose it if she didn’t see you. And despite how rough her hands were, Wanda carefully slipped the dress off of your body, undoing its zipper in a way you almost didn’t notice. But all caution was thrown out the window when Wanda finally laid eyes on your half-naked body. It was black lace underwear that you were sporting, and all she could think about was how stunning you looked. She sat there for a while, frozen and heated, her eyes raking over every inch of your body. To think that you were wearing this underneath that goddamn dress this whole time, god, it makes her absolutely exasperated with desire.

"I’m getting a bit cold here, Professor," you smirk, your fingers trailing up her pants, finally meeting her undone belt once again. "Warm me up a little?"

"Yes ma’am," Wanda breathed out and nodded, her hand ghosting over your skin once more as you opened your arms and urged her to come closer—the sight causing her to melt and a question she didn’t even think twice about spilling from her mouth. "Can I fuck you? Please?"

Almost immediately, Wanda leaned down and pressed her face against your body, littering soft and hot kisses along your stomach, up the valley of your breasts, your collarbones, and to your neck. She would lick, suck, and kiss all over again, marking your skin with the prettiest bruises. You almost forget to answer her question when she starts kissing you, but she pleaded once more. To let her do whatever she wanted, just say the word, and she’ll make sure to make you feel so fucking good.

"Please," she begged you, whining only slightly as she kissed your neck. "Please, (Y/n). Please—I'll do anything, I—"

"Touch me there," you said, slipping your hand into hers to lead it down to your warm, clothed center. "Right there, Wanda."

You let her fingers press against the fabric, feeling how undeniably soaked you were. Without a second thought, Wanda immediately circles your clothed pussy with the pads of her fingers, just getting lost in the feeling of your wet heat. Her jaw slowly drops as she watches her own fingers play with your cunt. She pressed even harder the moment she finds your clit underneath the thin fabric and when you moaned, arching your back slightly in the process, she lost all self-control. You don’t even get a second to catch your breath as Wanda immediately starts clawing at your underwear, pulling your bra off of your chest in the quickest way possible. And, when she moved her hands back to your panties to uncover the very treasure she was yearning for, you suddenly heard an unmistakable sound—the sound of fabric tearing.

Your eyes widened in disbelief as Wanda stared at the torn piece of underwear in her hands, "Did you just—"

"I’m sorry." Then she kissed you to give you something else to think about other than the fact that she just ripped your precious, laced underwear.

"You ripped—"

She kissed you again, murmuring against your lips, "I’m sorry, baby."

"That was expensive, you know. I just got it last week," you said, rolling your eyes, wrapping your arms around her neck as she continued to kiss your skin all over again. And it was working—when you felt her lips kissing you and sucking on you, you could barely think about anything else.

The corner of Wanda’s lips turned upward at the thought of you buying lingerie just for her, "I said, I’m sorry. I’ll get you another one, I promise… But, right now, I really want to fuck you. I want to fuck you until you can't move. Let me make you feel better, baby? Please."

Wanda's plea hung in the air, her voice a desperate whisper filled with desire. When she turned to look back at you, she did so with an intensity that made your heart race even faster. Already blushing from the heat of the moment, you felt your cheeks grow even hotter and hotter. Your gaze locked onto Wanda's lidded eyes, and you could see clear as day the raw need inside of them.

Your lips parted, and a deep, crimson blush spread across your cheeks. With a soft voice, almost breathless, you finally gave in, "You’re lucky I like you, Professor."

You were going to say more, but you couldn’t help the gasp that fell from your lips when Wanda dips two fingers into your pussy without any warning. She could feel you tense up around her waist, and your hands moved to grip her biceps as she started pumping into you at a slow pace, easing her way up to a faster one. Wanda’s jaw dropped once again, moaning as she felt just how tight, warm, and wet you were around her fingers. She could feel every sliver of you, your spongy walls wrapping around her digits, and you gasping right into her ear. God, it was so perfect. You are so perfect. She could fuck you like this forever.

"Does that feel good?" she asked, looking up at you with lidded eyes while her fingers continued to make their way in and out, in and out.

"Yes, right there," you nod quickly, moaning in her ear as your grip on her arms got tighter, trying to hold on for dear life as Wanda gradually got faster and faster. "You feel so good inside of me, Wanda. So good—ah!"

The woman reveled in your praise, unable to hold back her own moans as she watched her fingers, glistening with your slick, sink deeper and deeper.

"You’re sucking my fingers in, baby." And you truly were. Her fingers are buried deep in your pussy, and almost immediately, she finds that weak, spongy spot inside of you and begins to torture that button. With your moans getting pounder and louder, she penetrates deep against it, groaning into your neck as she listens to the music of your moans and whimpers.

After a moment of getting lost in the heavenly sounds that were spilling from your mouth, Wanda pulls your leg over to your chest, pumping her fingers in and out at a much faster pace than before. With her digits accelerating in speed, your body jolts and your moans go up an octave as Wanda continued to fuck her fingers into you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, feeling her press against that sweet spot inside your pussy over and over again, building up to the climax she had been working diligently to witness. And finally, the band holding you together finally breaks, your body succumbing to one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had in your life. Wetness pools all over her hand, and your pussy clenches tightly around her fingers. Wanda melts at the sight of your trembling body and shaky legs as your hands grip onto her biceps even harder, trying to hold on as she helped you ride out your climax.

When you calmed down, legs trembling against her, Wanda carefully pulled her fingers out of you with a squelch. She stared down in awe at your wetness, glistening all over her fingers and dripping down her hand. With her lips parted and eyes glued, you could not help but smile as you were catching your breath, still a bit hazy from the orgasm she had just given you. When you felt like the professor was taking a bit longer than expected, you reached down and gently brought her hand close to your face, her eyes following as you did so. And when you opened your mouth, you dragged your tongue slowly over the length of her fingers, and all Wanda had the strength to do was watch.

"Fuck," Wanda breathed out as you licked her hand clean of your essence.

You pulled Wanda in by the neck to kiss her, and she groaned into your mouth when she tasted your juices on your tongue—the taste of how good she made you feel. After pulling away to catch your breath once more, Wanda made her way back down again, leaving kisses along your skin as she traveled to the heavenly space between your gorgeous legs. And with mere inches away, she could smell you, smell the taste of you, and it lingered on her tongue, only making her yearn for more. The scent of you floods her senses, and she leans in with lidded eyes, lost in the thought of having you come right into her mouth. God, she wanted it—she needed it.

She was so close—her mouth was so close. You were right there, all ready in her mind for the grand meal she was about to indulge herself in. And with a soft but firm hand holding her head back by her hair, you stopped her.

"Not yet," you told her, shaking your head slightly as your fingers threaded through her hair.

"What?" Wanda gives you another dazed look, confused and almost frustrated with the fact that you interrupted her on her way to a heavenly meal.

"Not yet," you repeated once again, louder and clearer, with a more demanding tone. "I want you to watch me."

With her eyebrows raising in surprise, Wanda wondered what it was you had in store for her, "Watch you?"

With a teasing smile, you took your hand off of Wanda’s head, slowly dragging your fingers against the inside of your thigh, then in between, the soft pads of your fingers meeting your clit. There was nothing else Wanda could keep her eyes on except the way you pressed softly onto your clit, with another moan slipping out. Your clit was wet and slippery, coated with your juices. You could feel her heavy breath against your pussy, just centimeters away from her face, and all Wanda could do was stare. The sound of your quiet whimpers filled her ears, and it took everything inside Wanda not to dive in, face first, into your heavenly heat.

You must’ve known. You must’ve known what you were doing; keeping her desperate and begging while also checking if she’d be good and obey. And although it was hard to keep away, Wanda followed your orders and watched. With her eyes stuck to that precious button you were torturing all by yourself, she couldn’t help but pant slightly, like an obedient dog waiting for its signal to start eating.

Soon, you were getting close all over again, and Wanda was disappointed that it was not her doing. Although your moans and whimpers were more than enough to fuel her desires, waiting to touch you almost became unbearable, but she remained still, her eyes still glued to your pretty pussy as you touched yourself.

"Let me—Let me touch you," Wanda pleaded, unable to take her eyes off of the way you were rubbing your fingers against your sensitive bundle of nerves. "Please, let me help."

"N-Not yet," you said again, your body writhing more and more as each second passed.

With a groan, Wanda dropped her head down against the plush, inside part of your thighs, holding you down as you chased your own high. She kept watching with her mouth open as she resisted each and every urge in her body that told her to ignore your order and just jump right in, but she held herself back. She didn’t even know how, but she knew that once you allowed her, you’d reward her with the best meal and orgasm you could ever give her.

And just as you were about to hit your peak, you let one word slip, "Now."

Wanda finally opened her mouth and let her tongue fall. Her jaw drops as she lets her tongue travel from the bottom to the top, dragging it through your folds and swirling it messily around your clit. The taste of you was as blissful as angels singing in her mouth, as if her tastebuds had been blessed by the gods themselves. Your cries and moans rested well on Wanda’s ears, doing nothing to stop her from eating you out so fervently. A pleasured groan fell from Wanda’s muffled mouth as you tugged harshly at her hair, Her breath was hot, and your pussy had you squirming beneath her. It was heaven for Wanda. God, she’d give everything if it meant being able to live the rest of her days down here, with her head between your legs and your pussy in her mouth. She’d be set for life.

Your poor clit was already so sensitive, and Wanda was lapping at you like a thirsty dog. Your precious brain couldn’t even focus anymore, and all you could think about was Wanda’s tongue. And because of how close you were just before she started, your orgasm started to build higher and higher in a matter of seconds. Her mouth showed no remorse, and the lewd noises only made you flush deeper. With her thighs squeezing her head between your thighs, Wanda devoured you, holding you still with ease despite your constant squirming. Then, she wrapped her mouth around your clit, and sucked, and sucked, and sucked, and sucked, until she had you screaming her name into the air as you came inside of her mouth.

And yet, she doesn’t stop.

"W-Wanda, I—"

"Not yet," she said, voice muffled as she continued to fuck you through your orgasm, her tongue swirling and licking every crevice in and out of your sex.

Your words die in your mouth, and you let out a squeal as she buries her tongue right into your pussy all over again, licking and swirling it inside of you as you whined about how it was too much for you to handle. But, she kept going anyway. And fuck, you felt incredible wrapped around her tongue; it drove Wanda insane. Your body was hot, trembling at the mercy of her touch, screaming out as Wanda continued to overstimulate you. She was now far from being gentle. How could she? When you had been teasing her all through the night with that slit in your dress and those eyes that were begging her to do something? Occasionally, she’d open her eyes to see you arching your back, screaming into the pillow, and it made Wanda moan against your pussy, the vibrations doing more to stimulate you.

With her eyes glued to your body as your legs tensed around her head and your stomach clenched as you moaned, Wanda whined and pushed herself further into you. Her hands were now spreading your folds open as she dragged her tongue up and down your fold before wrapping around your clit once more. Even when you finally gushed inside her mouth, she kept going, even with your entire body enveloped in shivers, as she savored each and every drop of your essence.

"I think–It’s too much—" you tried to say.

But, she just hit you with the same words all over again, "Not yet."

And she’d make you come a third time, then a fourth, then a fifth—until you couldn’t take it anymore. By the end of all of it, Wanda goes back up to your face, her heart racing faster as she sees your tear-stained cheeks and a lazy smile on your face as you try to look at her. She wipes them clean with her thumb and kisses them with her lips, using her other hand to calm your trembling body by running it along your quivering legs.

You reach out for her with a whimper, trying to grab hold of her, begging for her care as she soothes your body. Wanda smiles and re-kisses each bruise she left on you, all the way up until she makes it to your mouth. She kisses you softly and gently, and you can taste yourself right on her tongue. Nuzzling your face into her neck, Wanda pulls your body to lay on top of her, securing a tight and comforting hold on you as you began your drift to sleep.

It’s everything Wanda could have ever wanted—to be with you. It was perfect. You were perfect.

"You did so good, Wanda," you said sleepily into her skin, muffled as you spoke. "So good for me."

"I think I should be the one saying that, (Y/n)," she replied with a proud smile as she ran her hand through your hair. Eventually, her hand rested on your cheek, soothing her thumb over your skin as you began to let your eyes flutter closed at her soothing touch. "You are… so beautiful, darling… So perfect."

You almost fall asleep after a few seconds. Her touches, the feeling of her breathing, and the way her skin felt was everything you ever wanted and more. Wanda laid there with the same thought in her head, her heart filled with an overwhelming sense of love and contentment. As she gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, she couldn't imagine a more perfect moment.

“I have something for you,” you say, voice rasp and groggy as you moved reach something from the drawer of your side table. “It’s nothing special… it’s just… you keep losing your card, so..”

You couldn't help but feel a touch of nervousness. You had spent hours searching for the perfect gift, wanting to express you affection for Wanda in a meaningful way. Yet, when you were finally about to give it to her, you couldn't help but feel a bit shy about its simplicity.

But then, Wanda's eyes lit up with curiosity as she accepted the small box and carefully opened it. Inside, she found a cute red lanyard with a playful pattern, and her heart swelled with affection. She held it delicately in her hands, her fingers gently tracing the tiny pattern that adorned the fabric. It was a simple yet thoughtful gift, and she couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for you for choosing it.

Your shyness melted away, replaced by a radiant smile, as you watched Wanda’s joy. You couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth, knowing that your gift had brought a smile to the professor’s face.

Wanda turned towards you, her eyes soft with emotion and her heart full. She reached out and gently cupped your cheek with her hand, her thumb tenderly brushing against your skin. With a sweet and sincere smile, Wanda leaned in slowly, her lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss. Your lips met like two puzzle pieces finally fitting together, and for that moment, the world seemed to fade away.

“It’s perfect,” Wanda says, unable to suppress the way her lips curved upward. “Thank you.”

Then, each day as you arrived for class, your heart couldn't help but skip a beat when you saw Wanda. What caught your attention immediately was the sight of the red lanyard that Wanda wore around her neck. It didn't matter if Wanda's outfit matched the lanyard or not; it was always there, a constant presence, and a sweet reminder of the thoughtful gift you had given her. On some days, it stood out vividly against Wanda's attire, a burst of color that added charm to her ensemble. On others, it contrasted playfully, a delightful pop of red against more subdued colors. But in any case, it was always there.

Over the next few weeks, You and Wanda found yourselves in a whirlwind of newfound affection and stolen moments. In the classroom, your glances became a language of your own. Wanda would catch your eye from across the room, and a playful yet affectionate smile would curve both yours and her lips. It was as if you shared an inside joke, one that no one else in the class could comprehend. As the days went by, their desire for each other grew. They were days off of stolen kisses, lingering glances, and shared smiles that only you could fully understand.

One day, in the middle of a lecture, Wanda couldn't resist the urge any longer. She discreetly slipped out of her seat and gently tugged at your hand, pulling you slightly behind and into a closet at the back of the room, out of sight from her classmates' curious eyes. With a mischievous smile and a twinkle in her eye, Wanda leaned in and pressed her lips against yours. It was soft and tender, a tantalizing taste of their affection that left both of you breathless. The classroom continued with the lecture, seemingly oblivious to the hidden exchange.

Yet, for Wanda, those stolen kisses were like sweet secrets shared only between the two of you.

— navigation!

#bellaveux writes!#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #marvel x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen #marvel #avengers x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader

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evergone · 1 year ago

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Theodore Nott General + Dating HCs

Theodore Nott x reader

Warnings: Smoking, alcohol, nudity, swearing.

Description: General and dating headcanons.

Smokes mostly when he’s anxious or angry (or any other negative emotion) rather than as a recreational activity.

Has tried to quit, but never sticks with it.

A big fighter — hates it when people talk shit about you or his friends and is almost always the one to start fights.

So protective of you it’s not even funny, and Blaise and Draco are always there to back him up when he fights for your honour or whatever.

Physical touch and quality time are his two biggest love languages because he didn’t get much of that when he was growing up. After that its gift giving, acts of service, and words of affirmation (he’s not a big talker).

Always has to be touching you in someway, be that linked pinkies or you sitting on his lap.

If you’re a legimens he always wants you to be reading his mind so you can see how pretty you are.

Argues with Hermione Granger’s annotations in the library books and forces you to take his side even when you think he’s wrong because “you’re [his] girlfriend and therefore you have to be on [his] side.”

Doesn’t personally wear glasses but loves to try on yours if you wear them — especially if you’re really blind.

Loves it when you read to him (he just loves the sound of your voice).

Prefers essays and non-fiction to fiction.

Is surprisingly good with kids. If you have siblings then they’re probably obsessed with him.

Not a big pet name user because he likes the sound of your name but when he’s drunk or feeling particularly soppy he’ll call you ‘lovey’ and occasionally ‘baby’ or ‘babe.’

Doesn’t mind being called pet names, but also prefers his name. He just adores being called ‘Teddy.’

He swears he doesn’t have a best friend, but everyone likes to assume they’re his best friend which can be a bit difficult when someone mentions this (“I’m literally his best friend, Blaise, what the fuck?” “He barely even likes you, Pansy!” “He doesn’t like either of you, I’m his best friend.” “Shut up, Draco, I’m his girlfriend and therefore his best friend.”)

In actuality, his best friend is probably Madam Pince.

So smart its not even funny. He’s coming in the top three ranks for every class he takes.

Also has no time for stupid people. If someone can’t keep up with his brain than he just won’t talk to them ever again.

Never wants to be a Death Eater and when Draco told him that he was, Theo didn’t talk to him for a week.

Has read almost every book in the library.

Sometimes reads muggle books as a sly form of rebellion against his father.

His favourite book is one you bought him for his birthday.

Doesn’t really like animals all that much but if you have one he’ll tolerate it (the kind of guy to say ‘no’ to getting a puppy and then gets it for you but ends up as the puppy’s biggest fan, like, buying a million different dog beds and including it in family photos).

Loves to take baths with you, especially if you let him wash you or you wash him.

You’d think his favourite place at school would be the library, but its actually his dorm. He loves it when you stay with him for the night — mostly because he likes to hold you, but partly because he likes when everyone gets to see you walking out of there in the morning.

Has a million photos of you up on the walls of his dorm and his bedroom at home.

His favourite pastime is taking you shopping.

Prefers to hang out at the shops with you, Pansy, Daphne and Millicent (and sometimes Astoria) than staying behind with the boys because he gets to pay for all your stuff.

Dresses better than anyone in the school and expects you to dress just as well.

Takes you to every event he’s invited to because he’s a little more popular than you.

Definitely doesn’t think or know he’s popular though. He thinks he’s such a little recluse that nobody really knows who he is, but everyone knows him and so many people think he’s incredibly cool. Draco and Blaise make a point not to let him know this so he doesn’t get a big head.

Doesn’t know how to cook so you try your best to teach him.

Loves everything you make for him.

His favourite type of music is vocal jazz.

The two of you didn’t have a secret relationship per se, but neither of you told anyone when you started going out and just let everyone figure it out using context clues (Daphne and Pansy were so offended that you didn’t tell them and will never forgive you for this).

If you weren’t already a part of his friend group, he wouldn’t put in any effort to introduce you to them because he’s not a sociable person himself, but Draco, Pansy, Blaise and Daphne would have all included you so quickly.

Hates taking you home with him because his father is such an arse, much prefers your home (especially if your half-blood or muggle born).

Is so intrigued by muggle things, would have loved muggle studies if his father let him take it as a class.

If your family are very aligned with your cultural heritage he does everything in his power to learn about it. He loves dressing in your traditional dress.

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traintrainingmontage · 1 month ago

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Edward Appreciation Essay: The Choice to Be Kind

I was hoping to have this done as a 50-follower (and birthday!) milestone, but as always, life's chaos has gotten in the way. However, it IS here just in time for the Thomas TV series' 40th anniversary!! Happy Birthday, Thomas!! With that milestone in mind, let's get to it.

In much the same vein as my Skarloey Appreciation Essay, I'd like to point out something that I genuinely love about Edward, and that is his conscious choice to be kind, even when he's been mistreated by others. There's plenty of kind characters--Percy immediately comes to mind, as well as Henry (although his kindness varies depending on the depiction), Toby (to an extent), Duck, the Scottish Twins, and others. However, for Edward, kindness is one of his defining traits, especially a kindness that not only bolsters him in the face of adversity from outsiders and "friends" alike, but is a quality that he chooses to feed and fall back on, even when so many others would give in to their less generous inclinations. Please note that although I'm celebrating the anniversary of the TV series, this analysis is primarily based off of the Railway Series, since it's what I'm most familiar with. I'm also not going to focus on famous stories, such as Old Iron and Edward's Exploit, for this particular analysis.

I think there's a lot to be said for Edward's forbearance in terms of dealing with people being rude to him. He's not interested in getting even with other engines or rubbing their misfortune in their faces. He doesn't even ignore them! Instead, he continues to be kind and to be friendly, greeting everyone he sees and helping out those who need help, and in the end, continues to come out on top by choosing to not hold a grudge the way so many others on the railway do.

What motivates this particular choice, though? I'm hardly the first to speculate on why Edward is the way he is, and others have done and will do far deeper analyses on this point than me, but nonetheless, I'll offer a few ideas. In the context of the TTTE universe, I think that part of Edward's kindness simply stems from being old, wise, and experienced. He's seen engines come and go, and his class replaced and was replaced by another. The engines that are so proud of themselves now will find themselves in his wheels eventually. Plus, it's quite likely that Edward knew of engines who were replaced and eventually scrapped; back then, it wasn't the terrifying thing that it became later in the series because it followed the idea of engines simply living out their full and natural lives. Scrapping and modernization became such threats because even engines who hadn't lived out their service lives were being withdrawn and scrapped, and an early death is much more terrifying to engines than death itself.

But Edward's experience aside, he's well-versed in yard politics. If he causes trouble, then that won't make him friends with either other engines or the management. Edward has, in a sense, been abandoned for being a shy steamer, and unlike the others who are here on trial, this is his home now. They may be being rude to him in his own home, but whining and whinging will get him nowhere, and he's learned that lesson well from watching countless upstart engines be put in their place or live long enough as kings to eventually lose their crowns. He knows he's older, that he's almost lived up to the end of his expected service life, so all he can do is put on a brave face and do his best to prove that he's Useful still.

Outside of the book's context, Edward's character feels very much like an ideal of the upstanding Christian, which makes sense given Awdry's profession. Edward consistently turns the other cheek when people are cruel or rude to him. He stands up for himself through his deeds rather than giving in to anger. And that's a very important lesson to teach young children; being good and kind individuals leads to much better outcomes down the line. Edward feels like an intentional role model by which Awdry could deliver these stories to his son, and keep him as an interesting protagonist who taught important lessons about the importance of being kind and persevering through and despite adversity from both one's friends and family and outsiders. Many of us see Edward as a role model, as someone to aspire to, for this very reason.

The first example of Edward's kindness comes up in the very first story of the Railway Series. The coaches ask Edward to "not bump and bang [them] like the other engines do" (Edward's Day Out). And Edward obliges! He comes up to them "very, very gently" and takes them along. They're so grateful that they say they're glad he's the one who took them out. At the end of the story, he does have a moment where he tells the other engines: "I'm going out again tomorrow[;] what do you think of that?" (Edward's Day Out). Admittedly, this could be seen as slightly snarky, but I think it's moreso coming from a place of genuine excitement and wonder, like "Wow! Finally! Finally, I got to go out, and tomorrow, I get to do it again!" It doesn't feel malicious so much as wanting to share his joy with the others, mostly because he falls asleep right after. If he actually cared about their opinions or being right, he likely would have stayed up to hear them.

In the next story, Edward helps Gordon up the hill, and naturally, is not thanked by Gordon himself, but rather, his driver decides he'll ensure that Edward gets a nice new coat of paint in thanks for his hard work. It's quite clear though that Edward didn't help Gordon out of any expectation of a reward, or even a thank you. He did it because it was the right thing to do, and the driver noticed that. But an even better example of Edward's kindness being notable is in the next book.

After Henry is shut up in the tunnel for being vain, Gordon teases Henry about it, and Edward does not. This is pretty significant because it's rather likely that Henry was one of the engines teasing Edward in the first story:

It's quite likely that that's Henry on the left, there, with Gordon being on the second to right, next to Edward. Plus, looking at all of their smiles compared to Edward's distress, it's clear that Edward is the butt of the joke and everybody's laughing. Thus, it makes it all the more satisfying when Henry and Edward work together to pull the express, and Henry is rewarded with a new coat of paint. He wants a blue and red one, as then, he says, "I'll be like Edward" (Edward, Gordon and Henry). It's just delightful to see how Henry, who had also been unkind to Edward, now strives to be more like him due to acknowledging and seeing the kindness and grace that Edward has shown him even when Edward truly didn't have to. Edward, I think, is much more interested in making friends than remembering faults, and seeing this happen is just proof that his efforts are starting to bear fruit. What he's been doing matters. His kindness has begun paying off. And I think that this is more than enough to prove to him that his efforts AREN'T in vain. That choosing kindness will work. Edward has never been one to shy away from hard work, and this proves that it's both working and worth it.

Now, there's also times when Edward's kindness doesn't particularly help the recipient, and such an example comes in the form of the tale Thomas and the Trucks. Thomas wants to do something other than shunt, so Edward offers to let him take some trucks. However, Thomas doesn't know anything about trucks, and disregards Edward's advice about managing them. Perhaps it was irresponsible of Edward to allow Thomas to take the trucks--it could very well be a lapse in judgement that came about from wanting to do a favor for a younger colleague. However, I would also argue that Edward may not have known that Thomas had never dealt with trucks. When Edward offers, Thomas gives an enthusiastic yes. Plus, Edward clearly takes trucks to and from Barrow (he mentions that he's "got some trucks to take home tomorrow" in Thomas and the Trucks) and in the context of the story, it sounds like Edward isn't always at the same sheds that Thomas is at. Thus, he likely just didn't know that Thomas had no experience with trucks, and did indeed think that he was doing Thomas a solid. The Fat Director not being mad at Edward for his role in the mess also supports this; if he really felt Edward was at fault in any way, he wouldn't have given him compliments.

I think that a lot of the fandom also sleeps on James and the Top-Hat and Troublesome Trucks as great James and Edward stories. While it's true that James the Red Engine is often considered one of W. Awdry's worst, there's still some good moments to be gleaned from it. In the first story, James and Edward double-head a train as James has to get used to working on the railway. He gets steam all over the Fat Director's new hat and immediately wants to run away from his problems, urging Edward and his coaches on so that he can outrace consequences. He gets so overzealous that he accidentally overshoots the station, and he and Edward have to back up. Despite this, and his worsening mood, Edward is encouraging, getting them both up Gordon's Hill, and even tells him a story that causes him to laugh so hard he gets hiccups. Of course, James has to deal with the Fat Director's anger in the end, but it's clear that working with Edward, at least for a little while, brought him some comfort and relief. In Troublesome Trucks, when the coupling snaps on some of James's trucks and he has to figure out how to proceed, Edward offers help, but James refuses, wanting to do it himself. Edward then offers him encouragement throughout it all, and when James finally succeeds, is rewarded for his efforts by the Fat Director. This is an excellent start to James and Edward's friendship, which continues to deepen with time and makes their relationship in future stories such as Old Iron feel that much more organic. James comes onto the NWR as having messed up, by having a fiery debut that lands him in a field, and as seen in other stories, suffers from Gordon and Henry's derision as a result. It's my opinion that with this foundation, Edward's kindness is keenly felt and appreciated, even subconsciously, and pays off in dividends as the series progresses.

From the earliest point in their relationship, Edward is encouraging and kind, seeing James's attitude as a deep, genuine desire to do well and fear of being unable to live up to expectations. Edward knows those feelings! He's felt them keenly himself! And this is another reason why he chooses kindness: Edward has developed a keen eye for people (and engines). He has a good sense of how they're feeling, and why they may be acting the way they do. He can empathize with a lot of what everyone's going through, and that also makes it easier to choose kindness. After all, none of these engines are truly bad people. They can be arrogant and stubborn, but that comes with youth and prestige more than anything, and Edward has seen plenty of that smoothed away with time.

The last example I'll give is that of Edward and Skarloey in Skarloey Remembers. Edward knows Skarloey well, from bringing him passengers way back when, and seeing him looking worse for wear in an open-sided shed, stops to talk to him. He invites Skarloey to talk about his line and just reminisce for a while, because he knows that's what the other needs. Not to mention that he and Skarloey are on the same page about a lot of things; it's nice talking to a fellow older engine who just gets it. It's also very telling that Edward was chosen to introduce Skarloey and the Skarloey Railway; he's the best listener and it makes sense that he would have history with Skarloey. Just by listening and being invested in other engines' lives and things that they care about is he able to make genuine and meaningful connections with other engines, because Edward has learned that by listening to people, people will generally start also listening to you. It's another subtle expression of kindness that helps him connect with others and be part of their lives, and I get the sense that's really what Edward wants.

Part of Edward's idea of feeling Useful is not being lonely. He knows what loneliness is. He felt it when the Furness abandoned him on Sodor by selling him for cheap and essentially telling him to not bother coming home. He knows the shape of loneliness from staring at the other engines coming and going, never being chosen, his boiler cold. And so, when he sees other engines at their lowest, at their loneliest, when they feel foolish and without any support, he extends his kindness. He extends his empathy and support. He has been there, and wouldn't wish the same on any other engine. And he has seen how kindness pays off--perhaps not in the short term, but always in the long run. Edward's wisdom comes from one who has seen and experienced too much, and has worked hard to receive the love that he has. The world may be cruel to humans and engines alike, but that's what makes Edward's choice to be kind all the more meaningful--his kindness is given freely and rewarded handsomely, in ways both big and small.

Edward reminds us of what it means to be at our best. And it is that which makes Edward stand out for so many of us, 40 years on, as the kind of person we want to be some day.

Happy birthday, Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, and a very, very happy birthday to you, Edward <3 Dry rails, and good running!!

#ttte #ttte analysis #te writes trains #ttte edward #ttte henry #ttte james #ttte gordon

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ctrl-alt-vibeshift · 8 months ago

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in defense of the brat album art

my feed stopped when charli xcx dropped the album art for her upcoming sixth studio album "brat" a few weeks ago. like many angels, i was confused at first, as the image staggered out of the code on her merch site unannounced through a vinyl preorder link that originally had no image to go with it (and yes i ordered one before seeing any visuals...). even after she tweeted it, and the creative team posted about their contributions to it, questions were left unanswered. was it real? was it just a placeholder? was it an alternative cover for the brat_360 exclusive vinyl? this is not the album cover right? one angel dared ask our god in her twitter replies.

even before i got official confirmation that this was indeed the official cover, which i think came from charli's interview with vogue after the release of lead single von dutch, i was obsessed. the green: neon, but not tacky like the overdone highlighter trend already claimed by k-pop boy group nct, rather a muted, dull lime, catching your eye but not blinding you. the font: a simple sans serif, slightly condensed and elongated, nothing over-the-top or borderline illegible like the custom fonts artists usually commission. and the blur, the pixelization, the resolution, the quality (or lack thereof)—this is what really does it for me.

they're barely there, the rough, blurred edges of each letter, but once you see them you can't unsee them. the design evokes the feeling of waiting for an image to load in full quality on instagram, a youtube video playing in less than 1080p while buffering, a hi-res photo downloading from the cloud, a show or movie lagging its way into clarity on streaming services. or as oomf (@_alienmelissa) using a fan edit of von dutch lyrics put it:

(trans: lyric videos around 2008 all had fonts and backgrounds like this..........)

while thinking about the many implications of the low quality text on the cover, i read the essay "in defense of the poor image" written by hito steyerl in e-flux journal back in 2009, which perfectly put into words what i had been ruminating on:

[The poor image] mocks the promises of digital technology. Not only is it often degraded to the point of being just a hurried blur, one even doubts whether it could be called an image at all. Only digital technology could produce such a dilapidated image in the first place.

"one even doubts whether it could be called an image album cover at all," as many have due to the "poorness" of the brat art. better yet, steyerl goes on to proclaim "resolution was fetishized as if its lack amounted to castration of the author," also predicting the mass ridicule of charli for choosing and releasing such a "hurried blur" of an album art design.

regardless of what you compare it to, the low-res, early internet digital aesthetic it speaks to is something i haven't seen spoken much about. many twitter gays are up in arms about the lack of an image of charli on it, breaking her faceful cover streak (although she does hide it a bit on pop 2), and not giving them a new image to set their profile pictures to. charli has acknowledged this in the vogue interview: “I mean, as a female pop artist, what’s more bratty than not being on your album cover? Especially when there is so much pressure for women within the pop sphere to do exactly that," as well as in a tweet posted right before i started writing this:

which grimes replied to while i was writing this:

grimes scratches at what i'm getting at, but is more focused on the shock value that comes with its loud simplicity. this sentiment of breaking the feed, cutting through the visual muck and endless faces with a bold monotone color and by refusing to show face, is something i also admire. yet i think why i feel so passionately about the aesthetic value of this cover is that it offers me a respite from the overflow of high-res images mediated through the internet and onto my phone screen.

i'm so sick of the flood of iphone/digital photography, its quality increasing with each new device release. these images try too hard to replicate what they're representing, and create a false reality that many (myself included) get trapped in. we've sunken into the uncanny valley, and it's about time we claw ourselves out. i don't want to experience the physical through the digital anymore. i'd rather see all your pores when you're inches from my face than through the insane number of pixels resting in my palm. i want the images on the internet to be so obviously contained within it that there's no mistaking them for something material. i think this is why i'm such a fan of camcorder style photography and videos: like the chunky pixels surrounding "brat," they whisper i'm not real, i'm flawed technology, i will never replace the resolution of your retinas.

lucky for me, brat isn't the first artwork to do so, as there seems to be a shift back towards the materiality of the offline and the rougher edges of early internet interfaces within the broader art and design world as well. kat kitay describes this as "technoromanticism" in her essay "what's after post-internet art?" for spike magazine:

Exposed circuitry departs from the post-internet gloss typified by DIS Magazine, which shined up or hid away the ugly parts of technology. Hardware is made visible, laying bare the flow of power and information, at the same time transfiguring electronics into sacred objects.

replace DIS magazine with PC music (its audio equivalent imo) and you'll get an analogy more relevant to charli's own aesthetic journey here. the super slick black lamborghini on the cover of the vroom vroom ep has driven off, her impossibly iridescent skin on the cover of pop 2 has shed its shine, and the skyscraper she's perched on for the cover of xcx world (RIP) has long been toppled, leaving nicki minaj's gag city in its ashes. the brat cover is the antithesis to these eras.

while ecco2k croons all i wanna see is 1080p / but reality keep me on 240 on "hold me down like gravity," maybe it's time to embody the "240" of reality again. with charli teasing this record as her clubbiest to date, tapping back into her party girl roots attending uk raves in her tweens, brat offers us a chance, both visually and sonically, to embrace the blur, the sweat, the adrenaline, the tears, and of course, the poppers fumes, of a low-res life.

#charli xcx #brat #von dutch #dis magazine #pc music #drain gang #ecco2k #grimes

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invisiblefoxfire · 1 year ago

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Listen up, fellow queers and token straights, we're not gonna whine about the lack of new media during the strike and we're not gonna waiver in our support of the strikers.

In the meantime, we are going to recommend to each other more already-existing media than any of us could ever watch given several lifetimes to do it in.

I'll go first. Here are just a few of the creators I care about and want you to support.

FREE TO WATCH:

Filmjoy: This YouTube channel (Movies with Mikey, Deep Dive, etc.) makes incredibly well-produced video essays on film and occasionally TV and games. The channel's focus is on positivity and finding things to love about everything. And YouTube doesn't promote that sort of thing anymore, so the channel's creators (one of whom has multiple sclerosis) are running out of money and close to losing their house. Binge these genuinely incredible video essays with adblock turned off or, better yet, sign up to their Patreon and binge them with adblock on. Seriously, I love this channel so much, and if they don't get a boost in income soon, they're going to have to stop making videos. And I want more videos. Seriously, even watch the videos about things you haven't seen. They've persuaded me to watch loads of stuff I never would have watched otherwise and they're very good about not spoiling things (and giving spoiler warnings when needed).

AyeForScotland on Twitch: This is Tumblr's very own very handsome pro-Scottish-independence @ayeforscotland who has an incredible accent and plays loads of interesting games. He's going for Partner on Twitch now, which he has already earned but been denied due to an absurd technicality regarding whether viewers being linked to the channel directly from Tumblr integration. Go follow him now if he's not live, and when he goes live, go to Twitch and manually click on his name to watch the stream, since that's apparently the best way to get him the boost he needs. He sometimes has @thebibliosphere on as a guest (DOUBLE SCOTTISH ACCENTS HELL YES) and you can watch archives of many of his streams on his YouTube Channel.

Africa Everyday: This YouTube channel is run by Babatunde, a Nigerian man who shares his life and culture, makes cooking videos, and generally is a pleasure to watch and listen to. Seriously he's one of the kindest human beings I've ever spoken with. The money he earns from the channel goes towards helping his family and his community.

CHEAP AND WORTH PAYING FOR:

Dropout.tv: You simply will not find better comedy entertainment for the money. A monthly or yearly subscription is just a few dollars a month and gives you access to countless hours of top-quality entertainment from a company that started their own streaming service rather than cater to YouTube's algorithm. This is the place that started as College Humor, but if you haven't seen them in a while, you really need to check it back out. They're incredibly inclusive in their casting and theming and the production values are insane. I recommend starting with Game Changer, a show which has made me laugh so hard I choked and almost threw up. They also have Dimension 20 (or D20), the highest-quality DnD series out there, with custom-made sets and minis, usually with a focus on sheer comedy rather than drama (most of the cast members are comedy writers or comedians) - but it WILL and I mean WILL make you cry now and then. The currently in-progress season of D20 is called Dungeons and Drag Queens and the players are four literal actual fucking drag queens including Bob the Drag Queen and friends? You need to be watching this. If you have any doubts about whether Dropout is worth it or don't have any money, you can watch many full episodes for free on the CollegeHumor YouTube channel, although they have to censor the swears on there.

Nebula: Remember Lindsay Ellis? She left YouTube because of [too many reasons to list] but it turns out she's still active, she's just on Nebula now. Nebula is the co-op of streaming sites. Users sign up for a low monthly fee and the income is distributed among the creators, weighted according to how many views they get. The videos are uncensored and ad-free and contain lots of stuff that later needs to be edited out of YouTube videos to avoid copyright strikes. They've got FilmJoy on there (remember them from the start of this list?), Philosophy Tube (@theabigailthorn), Jacob Geller, Extra Credits, and loads and loads of other stuff on all different sorts of topics. Many of these channels also have YouTube channels that contain most of their content if you can't afford a Nebula subscription, but Nebula supports them more and gives them more creative freedom.

I'm gonna stop here for now but I'll add more in reblogs as the strike continues.

I hereby invite all of you to ruin my notifications until the strike is over. Reblog this, add your recommendations (especially ones that most people might not know about), and pass it on. There will not be a single complaint about lack of things to watch while the strike is ongoing.

(Why yes I am looking for more things to watch too. I've already seen all of the above. Bring it on.)

(And if you have a few dollars to spare, support the strikers directly at the Entertainment Community Fund.)

#wga strike #wga strike 2023 #stand with the wga #do the write thing #sag aftra strike

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freeuselandonorris · 10 days ago

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hellooo! nsfw question ahead

i know you've talked about porn a few times on here, and i was wondering where you usually watch it/find it? i know the main websites that exist, but i feel like they never have the type of content i'm looking for, except for some amateur vids/creators. i don't really want to have to pay for it, but any recs/tips on where to find more ethical porn are welcome 😗

thank you for your service 🫡

hiii anon! oooh one of my favourite topics [cracks knuckles]

okay so… i’m sorry if this comes across as lecturing a bit but “ethical free porn” is. kind of an oxymoron. sex workers face massive discrimination: they have their bank accounts closed without warning/can’t open them, are are far less likely to be believed or helped if they experience unfair, unsafe or abusive working environments, and to top it all off it's become essentially impossible for them to grow their fanbases through social media over the last few years thanks to increased censorship. the free/tube sites are generally either amateur clips posted more for kicks than to earn money (nothing wrong with those, some of them are great!), promo clips for studios, or copyrighted material ripped and reuploaded from pay sites without the creator’s permission (the latter also applies to torrents, obviously). not saying i don't use the tube sites sometimes when i need a quick hit bc i do, but i can't really recommend them as ethical porn consumption. i appreciate not everyone has it in the budget/has the privacy to pay for porn but if you can, please do.

okay, soapbox over!

my top recommendations are four chambers (run by the incomparable vex ashley, my literal dream woman) and collective corruption.

four chambers is art porn. each film has an accompanying essay, it’s all beautifully produced to the level of like, custom written soundtracks (augustus muller of boy harsher does a lot of them) and the overall vibe is just impeccable. if you like porn that explores niche tropes (think aliens, car crashes, cctv, mommy kink) but in a really aesthetically beautiful and unusual way, 4C is for you.

collective corruption is hardcore kink porn, owned by some of my favourite producers/creators (lucas ayres who is everything i could ever want to be as a top/sadist). there’s a ton of really long, high quality scenes on here and they add more pretty regularly. this would be my top top top recommendation for kink porn. AND they have a halloween promo sale on rn where you can get a year’s access for less than $50 (insanely good deal imo, and the best bit is it renews at that price so you get it for life if you want it - i've had a membership for 2 years now and it's worth every penny) or a month for $9.95!

you can see promo clips on both of the above sites to decide if it’s your thing!

the other big kink sites are the kink.com networks, but i have heard some dodgy stories about how performers are treated on their sets sometimes, so i don’t feel 100% comfortable recommending them and i don’t subscribe myself.

if you prefer shorter clips, there’s obviously good old onlyfans. as a host site their ethics are also not amazing, and they’ve massively cracked down on the kinds of kink content they’ll allow in recent years, but it’s an option for cheap, short term access. my favourites on there are daisy love, cam damage, charlotte sartre (see links below for the last two).

plus some specific performers i enjoy (links go to their linktree where i could find one, so you can choose your level of engagement)

charlotte sartre (egg fans: i noticed she has an eggs video on her manyvids!) lydia black (lots of piss content on her sheer!) cam damage (gender goals)

hope you can find something you like in here! enjoy 🫡💦💦

#sex meta #<- reminder i use this tag now for this kind of post so you can blacklist if it's not your thing #answered

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littlewestern · 9 months ago

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I just thought of something. For your silver and black stories, how did Pilot, Pioneer, and 2903 react when Burlington Northern Santa Fe was created? I mean, their home railroads are now one and the same! (Makes one wonder how preserved trains would feel about their railroads merging out of existence. I imagine 999 has certain feelings about Penn Central and Conrail)

Oh this is a really interesting question!

I think by 1994 all the engines mentioned had come to terms with the fact that rail industry had simply changed so much in the past 60 years that it wasn't worth getting too sentimental over. Since they all were retired by the '70s, I think the more affecting change would have been the CB&Q becoming Burlington Northern.

It's important to note up-top that engines are familiar with change and know well that their entire industry is founded on shifting sand. CB&Q engines and Zephyrs in particular would know this well, and would be more sensitive to the ways in which the Q would adjust their marketing and scheduling strategies based on cost and changing customer expectations. Basically, all engines know going in that things are subject to change, sometimes at a moment's notice, and for the most part they aren't too sentimental about it. It's just the way of things, y'know?

That being said, I do think that the absorption of the Q into Burlington Northern would have been a somewhat sobering moment for Pioneer in particular, which may or may not be surprising depending on how well you know him. It's not like it ruined his day to hear the news or anything, but you have to remember that the Pioneer Zephyr defined the entire look of last third of the CB&Q's lifespan. The Zephyrs got people excited to take the train and set the tone for how every other railway in the country would market their passenger rail service for the next 30-some-odd years. Pioneer wasn't just important to the Q, he was important to the culture. But by the time 1970 rolls around, he's been out of service for a decade, and rail travel looks significantly different to what it once did. Losing the Q to consolidation is a sign of the times and a tacit remark on the then current state of rail travel.

It would have been, at the very least, the end of an era, and that in and of itself deserves a moment of recognition. It's not sad exactly, because change is inevitable, and it's not worrying exactly either, because Pioneer himself was built and born of time of uncertainty - only to eventually become a symbol that the future of travel was brighter than ever! But it is the way of things, and I think it would have at least given Pioneer some pause.

Pilot on the other hand, would have seen this one coming. After all, his retirement marked the end of the Zephyrs outside of the California Zephyr. He would have been familiar with the decline in passenger service quality from the time he was built in 1940 to the day the Zephyr service ended in 1968. Where Pioneer was only watching this change happen gradually from the outside, Pilot would have lived it.

I'm not sure how much loyalty 2903 would have felt to the culture of the AT&SF, given that he was built so late, was part of such a small class, and honestly didn't even work for that long. I do think, like most engines, he would have felt a sense of pride in his heritage and there might have even been some light ribbing in the MSI yard about how at least the Santa Fe was still going strong even as the Q had to forfeit its identity, but I don't know that the creation of BNSF would have inspired anything in him besides some slight annoyance when the teasing was turned back around on him. "Guess you're a Burlington engine now, chief!" Cue eyeroll. 2903 has never really appreciated the Burlington approach.

As for 999, oh boy lol! Don't even get her started. Her feelings on the NYC and Penn could be a whole essay unto themselves. Suffice to say that they are mixed. The best favor NYC ever did her was retire her before they became the Penn so she wouldn't have to share the name of the railway that scrapped nearly every single one of their steam engines.

#tfissab behind the scenes #asks #quite-a-character #pioneer zephyr #silver pilot #nyc 999 #atsf 2903

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autisticempathydaemon · 5 months ago

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for your matchup game! thank you for doing these they look super fun though i’m sure you’re super busy with them lol!!

* my fave song in the last few weeks has been otherside which is a minecraft song. it’s got a sick beat drop and i like listening to it for focus music

* 2w1

* I don’t know about gargantuan BUT i do love a good video essay/deep dive. mike’s mics pretty little liars vids have been my go to the last few months

* i don’t actually remember having an imaginary friend :/ my parents said i had one, and most i can remember is we used to have tea parties

* i have to have asmr or some kind of ambient noise in order to fall asleep, and i also have to have my body pillow to hug or else i cannot sleep

* emily irene. it’s the name my parents were going to give me bc it honored their grandparents but my mom hated irene (my dads grandmothers name) so she refused. i’ve always wanted to change it to that.

* probably camping with your tsundere alpha werewolf boyfriend because it’s the first real time we’ve seen davey share memories about his dad in a peaceful way, which was really nice. also the scratch offs reminded me of my own dad bc it was something he used to do for me and my sisters and it made me cry after listening and i had to call him and tell him i missed him LOL

* james probably? i just haven’t rlly gotten around to listening to all of the audios with james anton and marcus yet (still p new to the fandom)

* howl’s moving castle

* damien. i think we could commiserate over a really nice chocolate cheesecake abt our mommy issues.

* internet drama i come across. i have a bad habit of digging myself down a rabbit hole of the most inane internet drama and then telling my best friend abt it when we’re both sleepy but not ready to SleepTM yet

* reese’s sticks and a dr pepper, or if i’m feeling savory it’s pringles and a dr pepper and if they have slushies/icees then it’s a cherry slushie/icee and whichever above snack i’m feeling

* i have a playlist called georgia peach which is a country music playlist i made of all the old music i grew up on. i like listening to it on warmer days when i’m on a drive

* a tie between the twilight movies and bbc sherlock but i feel like twilight is more um. socially accepted, at least on social media. bbc sherlock is only the first 2 seasons

* ummm i’m a libra. myer briggs type is infp. i’m autistic/have adhd. i have a black cat named pika whomst i love dearly, i used to love reading as a kid but i kind of fell off and i’ve been trying to get back into it recently, i’m a middle child, i like farming sim games and rpg games and narrative games (like telltale games) and romcoms and some light horror movies. my top 5 movies of all time are howl’s moving castle, pride and prejudice (2005), scream, pacific rim, and the princess bride. my top artist the last 7 years in a row on spotify was hozier. my current favorite author is emily henry. my love language for giving is quality time/gift giving, receiving is acts of service/quality time.

Anon, I am gently patting your cheeks, I adore you so. You’ve given me so much information to work with, and every bit that I got just further cemented my hypothesis that you’ve gotta be paired with Huxley.

Speed run, let’s go- Type Two’s are characterized by a desire to be loved and confident in that love; Huxley leaves no room for doubt. Your sisters would probably be protective and want the best boyfriend for you; does it get better than Huxley? You’ve got mommy issues; he’s got two amazing moms who’ll love you and heal them. You’re autistic; we’ve got proof Huxley’s awesome with autistic people (i.e Damien and Lasko).

You and Huxley would make each other so endlessly happy. I think both of you are big “Quality Time” people, so nothing makes you feel more loved than a simple, domestic weekend at home. Huxley loves those cozy, lazy days of cuddling your cat (which loves him duh) and reading together. The only kind of day he might like better is y’all going for a hike or leisurely drive together, singing along to country music on the radio. (He definitely has a soft spot for the same genre, having heard his moms listen to it when he was a kid.)

Song:

First time that I saw you, mmm/ You took my breath away/ I might not get to Heaven/ But I walked with the angels that day/ She takes me by the hand/ I am the luckiest man alive/ Did I tell you, baby/ You are the joy of my life?

Speaking of country, I love to imagine Huxley as a Chris Stapleton fan specifically. He’s just so quintessentially, classically country and writes the dreamiest love songs; I can totally see young!Huxley singing Tennessee Whiskey long before he ever drank alcohol. Now, he sings it and other Stapleton songs like this to you. (Badly, I might add. I like to headcanon that Huxley can’t hold a tune to save his life, but he pulls it off well.)

Runner-ups:

Asher would be a fun runner-up for you because I think y’all would have fun playing games, like next to each other and with each other, you know? Like, imagine running a Stardew farm with Asher; it’d be chaotic and amazing. I also like Lasko for you as a runner-up, because who better gets mommy issues than another person with mommy issues, you dig? /lh

note: Irene is such a cute name boooo anon’s mom /lh

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted #busybee matches

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emberfrostlovesloki · 1 year ago

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Aaron Fanfiction Analysis [an essay]

Photo credits: Left (Google) Center (@themoontaxi) Right (@citronplume)

A/N: I don’t know how many of you followed my page to read some academic work, but here we are, and I’d love it if you stick around to give this a read if you are so inclined. I recently read Rome’s @criminalskies story about a BAU reader who is feeling dysphoric due to being on their period during a long case. Aaron provides them comfort, and they come out to him. The link to that story can be found here (link). While I was reading it, I was so enamored that I started taking notes. If I like something, I take notes. After finishing it, I simply had to think about the literary devices being used, and this essay was born. I asked Rome if they were okay with this, and they agreed (thank you!). Then I finished the essay, and I asked if I could share it here too. Again, Rome agreed. Obviously, after Roland Barthes and The Death of the Author and all that. We understand that reading is subjective. This is just my little take on their story. Everyone reads and understands things differently. I thought I’d just share my thoughts with you. If nothing else, please check out Rome’s page and this story. They are a joy to know and be friends with. I'm currently working on an Emily fic and and an Aaron fic, so those will be out soon too. I hope you all have a lovely end of your weekend, and I’ll see you soon - Levi.

You can read the essay below the cut

Word Count: 3.1K

Content Warnings: Dysphoria and body image issues

List with all stories

P.S. I did the ungodly thing, and I printed this fanfiction on paper for the sake of annotations and in-text citations.

Fanfiction is a Gift

When someone who is not very familiar with the concept of fanfiction hears the term fanfiction brought up in conversation, there is a knee-jerk reaction to assume that this type of writing is not very good writing and that those writing it are teenagers. Both of those things may be true of some fanfiction writers. However, to address the quality of writing, if something is being written, no matter what skill level it is at, that is practice. Practice makes us better writers of all of us. So there will be no complaint about quality from me on that count. But there are other types of fanfiction writers as well. There are adults who consume content and adore it so much that they want to add their voice to the narrative. They bring themselves open and willingly to the space. They share their stories with others to read and enjoy. Often, these writers are more inclusive than the content of the original material. After all, books, T.V. shows, movies, and all other entertainment media are made by the studios for one purpose -- money. The top executives of networks and streaming services are happy to discontinue a beloved show if it is not making a profit. Now some shows are disappearing entirely for tax write-off purposes. The mainstream shows that stay ongoing for years must appeal to the everyman. This often means inclusivity is not a top goal of the creators. This leaves many marginalized groups out. These often include LGBTQIA+, minorities, those who are disabled, and those with non-thin body types. It might come as a surprise to David Saslav or Sam Levinson, but not everybody looks like the characters on their platforms and shows. There has been a push for media to be more inclusive, and we see this in shows like Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, and What We Do In The Shadows, but the number of these shows pales in comparison to the mainstream media. Serial shows like Criminal Minds is one of those shows. The F.B.I. drama hosts a cast that is not very diverse, and topics of sexuality, racism, police brutality, and other pressing issues are addressed only briefly during the show’s sixteen-season run. This is where fanfiction writers bridge the gap. Writers allow themselves and others to be included in that world, with those characters. This writing is cathartic to many. It is healing what the mainstream refused to address. This is why fanfiction is a gift. To highlight how strong some fanfiction writers are, and the power they have over language, a literary analysis will be done on a recent story published on Tumblr. The author, Rome, was completing a request for a story involving the BAU team leader, Aaron Hotchner, and a non-binary member of the team who is feeling dysphoric during their period. Rome responded to that request with a masterpiece. The untitled story uses diction and tone to demonstrate how the reader feels embarrassed and frustrated by the situation they are placed in, pacing and juxtaposition are employed to highlight how time in the show and on a personal level seem to warp and change given the circumstances, lastly, characterization is used for the reader and Aaron to display how their dynamic changes by the end of the story.

The story starts in medias res, with the team attempting to solve a slew of murders in Louisiana. The team is stumped and tired. An argument breaks out between the reader and Dr. Reid. Here a variety of loaded words are brought up, including, “irritable,” “overdrive,” “annoyingly,” “hope,” and “exhausted” (Rome, 1). The use of these emotions sets the tone early on for the piece. This is not a fun or happy situation. The argument that takes place in the precinct highlights this, as the reader says, “‘Reid. Correct me based off something you read in the textbook I wrote one more goddamn time and I will see how far that giant brain of yours really is from your skull.’” (Rome, 2). The violent nature of the statement and the use of an expletive evince the tension in the room. Derek Morgan’s attempt to comfort adds no help, as he calls the reader “Mama” twice (Rome, 2). Morgan’s use of gendered terms only makes the reader more angry as they identify as non-binary but has not told the team yet. It is only Aaron who helps them calm down and moves them out of the room. The tone shifts from one of anger from the reader to concern from Aaron. As it turns out, not only is the reader exhausted, but has also started their period; thus the excess of emotions. Embarrassed, they move to the restroom and begin sobbing in pain from the cramps and identity crisis. Aaron moves into the space and immediately he becomes concerned as he hears his, seasoned, agent crying out in pain. He enters the bathroom stall and attempts to understand what’s happened. As he asks questions, the reader notes that his tone is “delicate” and “so laced with concern” (Rome, 7). Aaron embraces the reader to offer physical comfort in a situation that is clearly distressing to both of them. After a few moments, Aaron notices that the reader is holding the crumpled plastic of a pad. The realization hits him and “the penny finally drops, and he can understand why you were so volatile earlier” (Rome, 8). He still does not understand why the reader is so upset but true to his character on the show, he does not try and guess at an answer. He is compassionate at this moment. There is another tonal shift from care and concern to humor as the story lightens its tone.

The reader has asked Aaron to go back to the hotel, and he readily agrees. The reader asks Aaron, who is driving, to stop at a convenience store to get some needed supplies for their menstruation. They arrive at a store and the reader attempts to go in themself, but Aaron has none of it. He is told what the reader needs and moves into the store himself. While Aaron is very good at meeting the needs of the team, when he is faced with the choice of period products, he is suddenly at a loss. His experiences with his ex-wife does not help him much, and seeing him flustered like this brings a lightness to the story. As he faces down the tampons, he speaks aloud, “‘Light, ultra light, regular, overnight, sport, active, everyday, heavy, ultra max… shit’” (Rome, 12). Without wanting to disturb the reader, he gets one of every kind along with some comfort snacks. When the manly cashier makes a comment about women and “‘shark week’” Aaron responds, “Funny, sharks rather like eating invertebrates,” as he walks out the door (Rome, 14). There is one last major shift from humor to an understanding of passion and joy. The start of this shift is when, at the hotel, Aaron attempts a joke, saying, “‘I feel like it might be a human rights violation to deny a menstruating woman her sleep’” (Rome, 16). The use of gendered language, especially from Aaron, makes the reader uncomfortable in their body again. Aaron notices the shift and checks in to see if the reader is okay. He ends up joining them in their room. After the reader is changed, he perceptively states, “‘I can tell one moment you’re completely fine and the next it’s like you’re forty feet from your own body” (Rome, 19). By saying this, the reader reveals how they have been feeling over the past few months. That they feel their body and gender are not aligned. They note that they had hesitated to say anything for fear of being viewed differently and making work for Aaron. Aaron could care less. He is overjoyed that the reader is revealing their true self to him. Aaron states, “I am so, so happy, that I’m someone you’re comfortable to talk about this with’” (Rome, 21). The conversation continues for a while longer and there is an understanding between Aaron and the reader and real delight from Aaron in being pulled into the loop. The story finishes with a moment of intimacy and self-reflection from Aaron as he holds the reader tight to his body.

Criminal Minds normally follows a villain, or Unknown Subject [heretofore unsub] of the week. This provides a steady narrative arc for each of the episodes: a case is announced, the team debriefs, arrives at the location of the crimes, the team creates a profile, the team investigates, another murder or crime happens, the profile changes, the climax, and then the resolution, and closing monolog, as the team returns home on the jet. This structure is endemic in most police procedural shows and it provides a consistency to the narrative. Rome’s use of pacing is more dynamic and more personal. There is clearly a timeline for the team. They need to solve these cases as quickly as possible so less people die. There is an urgency in that. It pushes the team to the height of their emotions. This is mentioned early in the story as the case “stretched on for five days” with no leads (Rome, 1). In fact, time is often mentioned either in minutes or hours. As the fight breaks out between the reader and Derek the time is “1:15 in the morning.” This is one possible justification for the reader's outburst, but not the real one. Pace is brought up again as Aaron tries to understand what has happened. The reader realizes that their period coming has made them more emotional and they attempt to soothe Aaron. They realize, “[they’ve] gone from screaming to crying to comforting him in all under four minutes” (Rome, 3). The juxtaposition of emotions in such a short time frame has the audience focus on time. On the awkward encounter that has just happened. Pacing is also used to demonstrate Aaron’s care and devotion (even if he isn’t willing to admit to it) to the reader. As he kneels in a puddle on the bathroom floor, holding the reader, we are told, “He’s desperate to know what’s happened with you, but he will kneel here until his knees lock if it means you’ll tell him when you’re comfortable’” (Rome, 8). Aaron is such a stoic character and to see him acting so tenderly, going as far as getting his expensive suit dirty, and his willingness to be in pain shows the audience how much he cares about the reader. The fact that he is willing to be in pain, while the reader is in agony demonstrates his commitment to them. Aaron is one of the oldest members of the team, thus, his kneeling on, cold, hard, tile is not great for his joints. The lowered body position does end up affecting him when he does get up, we are told he “[lets] out a tiny groan as he stands up” (Rome, 9). The fact that they are both in pain ties the two together in an unspoken way. Aaron both in voice and action going forward, reassures the reader that he is thinking of them. Trying to get them to the hotel and comfort as quickly as possible. He makes statements like, “I won’t be a moment” to let the reader know he is cognizant of time and their discomfort. He drives efficiently, walks with determination, and does his best to be quick at finding the right tampon for the reader. The pacing takes a final turn as they enter the hotel. The times of events have slowly been shortening. These time frames move from days at the beginning of the narrative, to the possibility of hours on bent knees at the middle, and close with small moments. The reader tells Aaron, “Just one second,” as they prepare to change (Rome, 19). When the reader's real identity is revealed to Aaron, in an instant, moves, “[a] large pair of hands flys across the space between you on the bed” (Rome, 20). At the end, in their moment of intimacy, Aaron reflects on his admiration, and love, as the reader takes “short breaths” on his upper arm (Rome, 22). The juxtaposition of these time frames and pacing paired with the emotions of anger, then humor, and finally love leaves the audience feeling comfort and peace with Aaron.

The main crux of this story is the fact that the reader is feeling heightened dysphoria due to their period and hiding this fact about them from the team and more importantly, from Aaron. Thus the characterization of both the reader and Aaron changes and develops a good deal over the twenty-two pages of text. The reader starts out unsure of why they are so angry. Why has this case been so trying on them that night? The reader is at this point unaware of the unwanted, excruciating bleeding that will start soon. The reader is observed with “eyes welling up seemingly out of nowhere as you note that you are definitely not okay, You just don’t know why” (Rome, 3). Once they are aware of their period coming, the reader is not comforted by the fact. The bodily bloodshed only emphasizes that they do not belong in the body they inhabit. The reader notes,

The anticipation, your monthly [a] reminder of who you are forced to be, looming right in front of you. When you can feel your grasp on emotions slip just a little bit and those little voices in your head gain a little too much power. The thoughts of how your body doesn’t look anything close to who you feel you are. Rome 5

These painful external reminds pushes the reader to do things they don’t enjoy. To try and conform to some gender norm that does not align with them. The reader has gone as far as wearing makeup to appear more feminine, but all that accomplished was to make them feel like they were “playing a part… wearing a mask,” and “keeping up a facade with the team” (Rome 6). This discomfort continues but is slightly alleviated when Aaron comes to understand that they are on their period, and he reacts with care and compassion instead of a reprimand. At the hotel, the reader is upset again by Aaron's unintentional gendered words. In the bathroom of their hotel room. The shape and feel of their body bothers them, as they look in the mirror and think, “how miserable the stranger in the mirror looks” (Rome, 17). Not even putting on more comfortable clothes is helping, as their thighs appear more womanly in the stretchy fabric. It is not until the revelation is made that the reader’s gender identity lies between the male-female binary, that they fully relax. When they notice the “genuine joy radiating from Aaron,” they know they can fully be themself around him (Rome, 18). And still, the pain persists, but in Aaron’s gentle embrace, they can finally rest. Aaron goes through a similar character transformation. Even at the beginning of the story, it is never stated that he is mad at the reader. He is just very concerned. He is as baffled as the reader as to why they are acting as they are. His thoughts mimic the readers as he thinks, “You're clearly very volatile and on edge. He just can’t figure out why?” (Rome, 3). The parallel in emotions is a foreshadowing of the feelings that Aaron will have at the end of the text. The sound of the reader crying intensifies those latent emotions. As Aaron holds the reader close to him for the first time that night, he thinks that “he couldn’t care less about the surroundings, his hand finding the back of your head to hold you close to his aching heart” (Rome, 4). He continues to be concerned and his emotions are pulled, as he only wants to bring the reader some relief. He is eager to help monetarily by buying an array of period products and painkillers. This is a help, but Aaron wants to physically comfort his agent. His distress over the reader even finds voice in anger, as he insults a burly man unwilling to interact with his partner during her time of the month. At the hotel, there is more comfort for the reader, but he can still see pain in them. This pain is less associated with their period. When he asks for clarity for his own sake, he grows nervous: “He silently prays you aren’t about to begin an interrogation” (Rome, 18).

When all is finally made known, he is ecstatic. As the reader states that they fear their new identity might be a burden to him and the team, he is quick to say, “I want to make you feel as comfortable as I am able to accommodate” (Rome, 18). And in the end, Aaron is able to provide that physical comfort again as he acts as a living heating pad. He envelopes the reader in his body, his warmth. And as he begins to drift off to sleep, he questions his emotions once more, asking the rhetorical question, “Right?” as he sleeps (Rome, 22). Aaron’s character arc is centered around his care of the reader and his feelings for them. There is no dramatic “I love you” but the outpouring of small gestures and care given by Aaron to the reader clearly displays his love of them in all their complexity.

There are so many other literary devices that are used here such as simile, personification, descriptive language, and imagery. However, the elements examined here felt the most weighty. Held the attention longer. When reading and rereading this work, many times I thought, “God, I wish I was the reader!” And here is the great delight in fanfiction -- you are the reader! Inclusive fanfiction belongs to everyone who wants to be involved. Not all fanfiction attempts this. Not all fanfiction is a reader insert or “x reader” as it is often seen on Tumblr, but to live in a time where such care is given to those often standing on the outside is amazing. It is kindness and care just like Aaron comforting and accepting the reader is kindness and care. I do not mean to say that all media, be it books, movies, or TV shows is not inclusive. Some of it is, and I’m glad for that, but much of the time diversity is added as a bonus, so the creators can pat themselves on the back and say, “We’ve got that group covered at least.” I will continue to give praise to those who give so much of themselves for everyone else. Fanfiction really is a beautiful thing.

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your-devoted-domme · 9 months ago

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About me

I'm an introvert who is a huge dork at heart. I love spending time in nature (particularly the forest), reading and writing, learning new things (particularly about languages/linguistics, anthropology and history, mythology and different religions), going to the theatre and opera, listening to outdated music and playing with my dog.

I consider myself a (female) bisexual dominant stone top, meaning I like being in charge and making my subs feel good but I do not enjoy being on the receiving end of any sort of penetration and most other sex acts. I'm interested in both male and female subs with a preference for other women.

What I'm looking for on here:

Friends or a long-term romantic relationship (I'm not interested in polyamory but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if my partner was). I'm not interested in casual play at all and I will only engage in D/s with a romantic partner.

What I'm looking for in a partner:

looking for a long-term romantic relationship

in my age range (~ 21-35, roughly)

I'm very attracted to people who are just good (kind, helpful). I don’t need someone to be the smartest person or the most confident or the funniest, just try to be the kindest version of yourself you can be.

good communication, willingness to listen and speak up if there are problems

mutual respect (especially when it comes to personal boundaries) and trust

willingness to compromise

strong sense of self and independence, maturity

overall emotional connection

I adore gentle people and even those who are a bit shy.

"naturally submissive" as in not just looking to have a certain kink fulfilled but who is happy to let me take charge in the bedroom

feminist/feminist ally

has done their homework with regards to kink -- it's fine to be inexperienced (I am as well) but I would hope any person wanting to engage in kink has at least done some research

someone who doesn't view me as a "kink dispenser" and sees me as a human being who is flawed and imperfect just like everyone else

Me as a partner:

Of course, it's a bit silly to just write a whole essay about what I am like in a relationship so I'm not going to do that and just hope my positive qualities will become clear during actual conversation. :)

That being said, I try to embody all of the traits I look for in a partner myself (kindness, empathy, independence, maturity, mutual respect, loyalty, honesty...). Since my biggest love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time, it's important to me to put aside time for my partner and really focus on them as well as performing small acts that make them happy, such as getting their favourite drink from the coffee shop or helping them with a task they've been struggling with.

I also try to actively improve myself, mostly by journaling (doing shadow work), meditating and going to therapy.

One of the things I'm still working on is my tendency to withdraw when I'm stressed and wanting to solve all my problems by myself.

I'm also still finishing up university right now, so in case of a potential long-distance relationship, I don't know what my situation will look like in a year or so. Ideally, my partner would be open to re-locating to Germany.

One last thing to note is that I've only had relationships with other women before but I am bisexual so I'm open to men as well. I've mostly avoided dating men because I am a stone top and I figured most men wouldn't be into that and because I don't enjoy all of the gender roles and expectations in straight relationships. Let me buy a beautiful boy flowers if I want to!

Me as a domme:

I don't have much experience with domming per se but I have been a stone top in all of my previous relationships. I learnt that I like being the "active" partner, the one who does things rather than being the one who gets acted upon. I don't enjoy being penetrated at all, I would be okay with receiving cunnilingus but frankly, my sexuality is more focused on my partner and making them feel good. That's why long-term chastity/orgasm denial doesn't interest me, I enjoy making my partner come too much to be satisfied with that.

In general, I would consider myself more along the lines of a gentle domme, I'm very into giving praise and taking care of my partner in the bedroom. I don't like being harsh at all and I do not want to insult/degrade my sub (making them fell embarrassed is another matter entirely -- especially if my sub becomes flustered because of the praise I heap onto them).

I think there are two overall "schools" of femdom, with the focus either being on the sub or the dom and of course most people fall somewhere in the middle. I consider "dom-focused" to be acts like a sub attending to their domme in the bath or performing body worship on them or admiring their beauty while "sub-focused" would be the reverse of that -- it can also be a dominant act to want to care for a sub. I'm more in the latter camp, I want to adore my sub and it's important to me that they are okay with being the object of my affection (and desire).

My ideal dynamic:

The most important thing I crave in a dynamic is being able to feel like I'm taking care of my sub in some manner. I love providing pleasure and making them feel 'safe'.

I'm also looking for a mostly bedroom-only dynamic. I don't mind having a couple of general rules if that's something my partner is interested in but I don't think the 24/7 high protocol life is for me. I want my partner to still feel like an equal outside of kink.

My ideal dynamic would involve a lot of mutual reassurance and communication. I would love to be with someone I feel safe exploring with, someone that makes it easy to just be myself and where I don't have to worry about not meeting their expectations. I also want to hear my partner's thoughts about everything, they need to let me know what they like/dislike and generally have an open communication style.

I also like it when my subs show some initiative, especially in the beginning when we're both still trying to figure out the other I think it's so important to know that this is what they want.

Occasional bratting can be fun but more for when the dynamic is actually established. Right in the beginning I think I would lose my confidence as a domme too much if my sub constantly sassed me and I felt I had to always "make" them do things rather than them being excited about obeying me. I'm also more generally interested in obedience, there is something very beautiful about someone giving me this "gift" of their obedience.

Now for some specific insights:

a dream would be to be able to dress my subs, decide what outfit they'll wear for the day and what clothes to buy when out shopping. For long-distance it would even be fun to receive an "outfit of the day" selfie

I'm looking for a good girl/boy to shower with attention and take care of (while they are still a mature/capable adult outside of the bedroom)

I love obedience and "casual" non-sexual submission, especially a sub kneeling before me while I run my fingers through their hair, maybe hand feed them a snack if they get hungry.

I don't really like gender roles, I look quite traditionally feminine and I'm usually attracted to feminine women and masculine men but when it comes to behaviour, I do not like to stick to certain requirements. I like opening doors for my sub but I also love it when they offer me their arm so I can hold it and steer them where I want to go

I enjoy giving a lot of praise, maybe even in a slightly patronising/condescending way during a scene but I'm not overly fond of degradation. Some slight verbal humiliation would be okay for me but I honestly prefer giving praise.

Kinks

praise

pegging/strap on use

toys

spanking

fingering

overstimulation

edging

pet names

collars/leashes

kneeling

handcuffs/soft bondage

shibari

obedience +devotion

shy subs

body worship (giving)

size kink

fingers in mouth

marking/biting

fucking machine

remote controlled toys

anal

free use

...

Limits:

ABDL, age regression

incest (simulated or otherwise)

watersports, scat

feederism

sissy, feminization (not because I don't like feminine men but because it often tends towards being misogynistic as in "being feminine makes me feel submissive")

cuckolding

forced bi

chastity (short term denial or edging is okay but I would lose interest if I didn't get to see my sub come regularly <3)

degradation (I don't mind making a sub feel embarrassed about something but I prefer praise to insults)

any fetishes that are based in misogyny, homophobia or racism

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aitohumantextconverter · 17 days ago

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corsicanchevalier · 30 days ago

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Japanese to English Translation Commissions Open!

I'm a stay-at-home parent and my family is in need of extra income to stay on top of bills. Please see below the cut for my info:

What you can commission:

I’m open for translating manga, doujinshi, fanfiction, magazine articles, etc as long as you have a private, personal copy for me to translate. Translation will be in script format, so no typesetting or manga cleaning. (If the material was originally available via purchase, please don’t make the translation publicly available on pirating sites as that enables people to steal from the mangaka. If the media was free (like on Pixiv) or is an extra material like a magazine article or mook drama script however, you're free to share that with your fandom.)

Content I won't do: guro, extreme gore, shota/loli characters in sexual situations.

Why you can trust me:

My 10 years of freelance translation experience includes doujinshi, manga, essays, audio drama cds (including transcription), advertising, medical records, banking statements, rental contracts, and medical and metallurgy scholarship for private clients and a translation agency.

Style-wise, I like to stay faithful to Japanese nuances and tone but pride myself on localization (making for a more natural flow of dialogue or text) and my writing skills, both creative and communicative.

Talking shop:

I charge $10.00 USD per hour and will always first send you an estimate of the amount of time a project should take for me to finish. With less wordy manga I can usually complete 3-4 pages in around 1 hour.

Budgets can be negotiated. I prefer payment half upfront and half upon completion/your receiving the translation.

Please understand that due to the due to the nature of estimates, there's a chance I finish a project faster or slower than I initially thought. I will let you know of any changes not in your favor before proceeding with the work and sending a final invoice.

I accept Paypal and Venmo. Service fees will be accounted for in my invoice to you.

Please take into consideration as a stay-at-home parent, my working hours are only in the evenings.

No refunds.

If you want a summary of what your material says rather than a complete translation, it will cost $5.00 USD per page of source material. (Perhaps useful for longer works like books or articles, etc.)

Please provide me with links or files to your scanned material for what you would like me to translate. If I cannot read the text easily, I will ask you to re-scan or provide better quality images. For media that are only available via purchase, I request that you include a picture of your copy with a written message to me so I can confirm that you actually own the material. A copy jointly owned by you and your friends so you can split costs between you all is just as eligible as a privately owned copy. A picture is still requested however.

Scripts will be emailed to you upon completion of the half-way mark and then ending. You are welcome to check up on the progress of your commission, but please allow me time to work on it.

I reserve the right to refuse a commission.

How to commission me:

Email me at mkdraws4you(@)gmail(.)com with the title of "Translation Commission" and the following details:

Source Material: (Doujinshi, Fanfiction, Manga, Official material, etc.)

Attached photo of your copy and scanned pages or links to scans (if applicable):

Sound Effects Translation: (Yes, No, Not applicable)

Preferred Translation Style: (Complete or Summary)

Preferred file type: (.doc or .pdf)

I will reply with an estimate of how much your commission would cost afterwards, and then we can work things like completion dates or budgets, etc., out. Please feel free to contact me at my Gmail for price estimates and other questions that you have. Thank you so much for your interest!

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militantinremission · 1 year ago

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A thought about 'Minority Groups'

As I said in previous Essays- while (Indigenous) Black Americans continue to get lip service & empty tributes, i'm looking at WHO is getting WHAT. There has been a lot of activity under The Biden Administration, & I found myself looking at these events from an abstract perspective. 'Jim Crow' Joe said that he appreciated Black America 'having His back' throughout the years, & he would have Ours. Since that statement, Native Americans, Asian Americans, Latinx (Citizens & Illegals), LGBTQ..., have All received legislation & funding. On top of the $113 Billion spent in Ukraine over the last Year, Israel continues to receive Billions annually from The U.S. Now provisions have been made for 100,000 Afghani & 100,000 Ukrainian refugees to relocate to America.

We Black Americans/ ADOS/ FBA/ Freemen/ Indigenous Americans can be a well intentioned, but socially naive group. The efforts of White Supremacists w/i Local, State, & Federal Government Agencies to systemically oppress Our Community has created a 'Collective Consciousness' that empathizes (abstractly) w/ the oppression of other Ethnicities. We can identify w/ the hardship of Others, & when possible, We do what We can to combat that hardship. We fought against the oppression of American Slave Codes, Black Codes, & Jim Crow Laws; simultaneously, We fought for The Rights of Irish, Chinese, Mexican, Jewish, Italian, Haitian, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Panamanian, Filipino, & Japanese immigrants that faced a measure of the oppression We experienced here.

Looking at this 'Collective Consciousness' historically, a Pattern can be seen over the centuries. Every Immigrant Group in America has gone through a 'Hazing Period', where they are the target of Social Bias & Prejudice. During this 'Social Phase', newcomers tend to identify w/ the Black Americans that they are in contact w/. We encircle these people w/i Our Community, & take the lead in protesting injustices against them. In the past, 'Brownfolk' tended to identify w/ Us. We shared Culture & Traditions; in some instances, we intermarried. In this Era, things have changed. If Black Immigrants & 'Brownfolk' start off in Black Communities, they don't always stay.

By the 2nd Generation, their children either identify w/ The Black Experience in America, or they make every effort to move away from it. Ethnic Enclaves have literally 'popped up' outside of Black Communities over the last 30Yrs, creating true Buffer Zones between Black & White Communities. Black America was oblivious to any possible agenda amongst Minority Groups- We also identified as Minorities, & assumed We were all in the same boat. Black Power isn't a selfish endeavor- Our Right of Autonomy grants other Minorities the same Right. American History substantiates this truth. To be honest, We were naively ignorant about the 'Culture' of these Minority Groups in their Native Land. We assumed they shared a similar experience of White Supremacy.

We knew about the Racism in Europe, but were unaware of the Tribalism that existed in Afrika & The Caribbean; or the Colorism that exists in Arabia, Asia, & Latin America. Many of the minorities that We had 'First Contact' w/, were friendly. As a Marginalized People, they had something in common w/ Us. We collaborated in business & in Social Action. We shared Our Community, & worked together to improve Our collective Quality of Life. We thought that We were united in the fight against White Supremacy. Then a funny thing happened- one by one, these 'Marginalized Groups' were accepted into Society, & given Rights & Privileges that We were (still) denied.

Over the Centuries, We watched- as Irish, Jewish & Italian neighbors elevated their status. The more they achieved, the more distance they placed between Us. Collectively, each group became increasingly intolerant of Blackfolk. They began to speak the Anti- Black rhetoric of Mainstream America. Our old neighbors appeared to 'pledge allegiance' to the same people that discriminated against them. Black Americans were now victims of mob violence, stemming from (perceived) competition that Irish & Italians had w/ Black Men for Jobs. The Irish in particular, were brutal in their efforts to push Black Men out of specific Trades & Sports. The only reminder of Black involvement in Horse Racing, are 'Lawn Jockeys', that many Black People see as racist. 150Yrs- 200Yrs ago, Black Jockeys dominated Horse Racing.

As disappointed as We were w/ the actions of the Irish, Italians, & Eastern Europeans, the current Anti- Black American sentiment held by today's 'Minority Groups' (POC), truly stings! We can't say that We didn't see it coming though. Many (Indigenous) Black Americans have an experience of being 'in the company' of a given Minority Group. When they are in mixed company, the conversation is civil; but when they outnumber Us, We begin to hear the stereotypes about Us. The larger the advantage, the more prejudiced the language becomes. While they may repeat White Supremacist talking points, they lack the power to truly be 'Racist'. That being said, quite a few individuals have ridden this rhetoric into Mainstream notoriety; the names represent a literal Who's Who in Pop Culture & Politics.

Collectively, these Minority Groups seem comfortable w/ their place in AmeriKKKa's Caste System, as long as they are 'positioned' above Black America... Hispanic & Asian women are currently testing the racial waters, by way of recent attempts to gauge their degree of White Privilege. Their actions legitimize the notion that White Privilege is defined by Anti- Black Racism & Oppression. The actions of these 'Karens of Color', are no different from the garden variety Karen. All of these women are trying to exercise their 'Right', but Women Of Color are also establishing their position in the Social Caste. I personally don't understand the need to gauge one's 'Power' on the ability to harass or harm what is believed to be a Soft Target. I thought that White Supremacy is a philosophy premised on strength & 'Might makes Right'- Where is the challenge?

Joe Biden's Policy actions have made clear his intention to extend White Privilege to Asians & Hispanics. Like (White) LGBTQ... individuals, & European Jews, Asians enjoy meaningful Hate Crime Legislation. Meanwhile, Black America still fights for this legislation, as the #1 Victim of Hate Crimes in America- according to the latest FBI Crime Stats. For Latinx, Biden is fast tracking Citizenship for illegal immigrants in Sanctuary Cities. Many Cities are suggesting Drivers Licenses for illegal immigrants, while California is talking about hiring non- Citizens for the LAPD & State Police. In short, 'America' has become a Multicultural & Multilingual Nation. All of this is very curious. Just a generation ago, Local, State, & Federal Officials were adamant that America is a 'Judeo- Christian' Nation that speaks 'English'. Efforts to make Spanish an Official 2nd Language were quickly shot down. 100Yrs ago, America was a 'White Man's Country!'.

Black Americans were looking for a Seat at The Table, but didn't have a problem sharing w/ Our fellow 'Minorities'. Affirmative Action was designed to level the playing field between Blackfolk & Whitefolk. It was supposed to make up for The New Deal & G.I. Bills that excluded Black Families. Despite this, We didn't complain when these resources were diverted (via Diversity Initiatives) away from Us, & given to people who NEVER had to experience what We went through. We were as compliant as Cows being bled by Vampire Bats, until We renewed the Reparations Conversation. Suddenly, We were xenophobes. The loudest voices have come from 2nd & 3rd generation Americans, who (collectively) enjoy a better Quality Of Life than the average Black American. The fact that the children of immigrants from the 1980s are now attacking Black America w/ White Supremacist talking points, is simply mindboggling!

An Ethnic Group that appears to do A LOT of 'Racial double dipping', are Hindi/ Pakistani/ Bangladeshi Americans. They are conveniently 'Black' when there is opportunity, but otherwise, they not only identify as 'White'; they subscribe to a visceral Anti- Black sentiment that needs to be addressed. This is important, because Joe Biden is putting Kamala Harris at the forefront of his Re-election Campaign. America is still calling Kamala the 1st 'Afrikan American VP', but both of her parents are Brahmin. Kamala's 'Black Experience' ends at Howard University & Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. She is otherwise an Elitist, who has a decades long resume of undermining Black Californians (Black Women in particular), & looking out for her own best interests.

Former Governor of South Carolina & U.N. Ambassador, Nikki Haley (Nimarata Nikki Randhwara- Haley), is the flip side of Kamala Harris. Both Women are Brahmin, but while Kamala is 'Asian' w/ a cultural leaning towards Black America; Nikki is 'Brown', but has consistently shown a cultural leaning towards White Privilege. Both Women highlight a simple truth- that 'Black' Issues aren't 'Brown' Issues. People Of Color (POC/ BIPOC) tend to be victims of Discrimination, more than Racism. This is evidenced by their Collective Autonomy throughout America. They have a Right of Expression that Indigenous Black Americans never truly had; not even during Reconstruction. It may be due to their sovereign status, but it's clear that they DON'T share Our plight.

Vivek Ramaswamy is yet another type. He is a 2nd Generation child of [Elitist] Asian Immigrants, but he tries to weave an Ellis Island narrative out of his experience. Like Kamala Harris & Nikki Halely, both of Ramaswamy's parents were Post Graduates w/ more education than the average [White] American Family. He gives the impression that they were Blue Collar Workers living the American Dream for their children. Ramaswamy casually speaks about his 'rough' Public School experience in Cincinnati, before going to a Private (Jesuit) School- that 'didn't conflict w/ his Hindu values'. This experience supposedly positioned him for College, Post Grad work, & starting his 1st Biotech Company... He implies that EVERYONE gets this opportunity in America.

Kamala Harris' Mother had the support of the Black Community in Oakland & Berkeley. Nikki Haley's Father had the support of (HBCU) Voorhees College, where he worked for nearly 30Yrs. Despite that support for their Parents, Nikki Haley & Kamala Harris have done NOTHING meaningful or specifically for Black Americans. In fact, both have supported measures that were detrimental to their Black Constituents; i'm reminded of The Tale of 'The Tortoise & The Scorpion'... Vivek Ramaswamy takes it up another notch. His 'Anti- Woke' Campaign, is a not too subtle Anti- Black dog whistle. Ramaswamy has the audacity to use his Experience (as a 2nd Generation Brahmin- American) to minimize, if he can't outright disclaim The Black American Experience altogether.

Vivek Ramaswamy's family has been in America for roughly 40Yrs. That means that they arrived sometime in the 1980s, nearly 20Yrs after the End of the Jim Crow Era; but Vivek feels that he can speak about the History of Anti- Black Racism in America. Ramaswamy, along w/ Harris & Haley represent the 'People Of Color' Prospects for POTUS. The similarity of their Agendas speaks volumes. All of them benefited from opportunities meant for Blackfolk, but they lecture Us about 'bootstrapping'. Add in Joe Biden's thoughts about Latinx being 'the largest Minority Group in America'(???), along w/ weird Culture Appropriation rhetoric coming from Eva Longoria, then John Leguizamo, & it looks like a conspiracy.

It's crystal clear that collectively speaking, Indigenous Black America has NO FRIENDS. We should act accordingly... These Minority Groups forget that Our 'Culture' is fighting White Supremacy, not bowing to it. We're not Here for a Come Up, or a Hand Out- We're indigenous to This Land. We were Here before the first Colonizer, & We'll be Here long after the Last.

-Just Sayin'

#CircleTheWagons #AntiBlackRacism #The13Percent #ADOS #FBA #Freemen #Tribalism #Colorism #LineageMatters #AgeOfProphecy

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