#Top 5 beat down
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absolutely, completely and in all other ways OUTRAGED that @wearewatcher did not include dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on their list of disney dilfs.
is he technically from disney channel? yeah. does that matter? no. is he better than pongo and maurice and king triton? absolutely.
and i will tell you why.
as we all know, doofenshmirtz had a horrible upbringing:
-his own parents didnt show up for his birth -he had to throw his own surprise party -big black boots boris the bully kicked sand in his face -a kid outshined him at a science fair with a baking soda volcano -his mom wouldnt let him swim in pools -his dad won a dog and said it was the son he never had and named it only son -had to wear dresses to school -he smelled like pork ?? idk this one doesnt get explained -his brother was better at kickball than him -his brother got the teddy bear he got out of a claw machine and it ruined the family dynamic -he couldn't make pretzels -he failed as a magician -his first date was ruined -he lost a girl to a dude with big hands -has no coordination -accidentally ended up in america? -lived with a family of ocelots ??? -he had to be a garden gnome -was always thwarted and outshined by his brother roger
yea you get the idea
but does he pass any of this down to his daughter, vanessa??
no! he does not!
-he actually takes his daughters advice -he is a fantastic single dad and makes a good life for her (and supports her being goth. very important.) -he is civil with his ex wife also (which helps vanessas childhood) -he brings vanessa to work and tries to bring her into the family business -he wants his inators to be fun for her as a learning experience -he always gives her extravagant birthday parties !!! esp her sweet 16!!! -he does not direct his negative feelings towards his daughter ever, its always towards perry -he spends 10 years looking for a discontinued mary mcguffin doll!!! for her!!
and so on
instead of being horribly to his daughter he rather brilliantly uses his arch nemesis (perry the platypus) as a free therapist (rather ingenious in this economy) and channels his childhood trauma into creating his inators in order to take over the tri state area.
so hes definitely dedicated, knows his way around a toolbox and programming (valuable skills in the technology age), broke through the stigma of generational and childhood trauma, and hes just a little bit evil. as a treat. at least in terms of ryans criteria he is a fantastic dad. and that is what we are judging the dilfs on.
so in conclusion. @wearewatcher. why isnt dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on the top 5 disney dilfs list???
#not a tag#from saph#i spent way too long on this#i apologize#no i do not want to fuck doofenshmirtz#i have my own boyfriend#top 5 beat down#watcher#ryan bergara#shane madej
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I’d like to register my vote for Nandor for the top 5 beatdown of Himbos
I mean... ya know, head empty, no note, car gone.. xD
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I certainly hope that's why they did thd Top 5 cryptids.
I need Shane and Ryan to revisit trying to find cryptids
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who’s everyone’s dream puppet history guest? mines brittany broski
#she was so great on top 5 beat down#I need her to meet the professor#brittany broski#puppet history#watcher#shane madej#ryan bergara#the professor
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Hiiiii this isnt so much a question but i just wanted to tell u that ive been rewatching your die young v3 animatic a ton recently. It is SO SO SO SO GOOD!! Anyway hope ur doin well hehe
AAAAA i'm so glad!!! oh god that animatic lived in my head for AGES it was such a blast to come up w and make, im glad u like it and it's stuck around all this time <3 <3 sending u all my best!!
#ask#beetledumble#genuinely believe to my bones that die young is a v3 trial 5 anthem. it just is. the animatic lays it out clear as day#the bg music cutting out as the thump beat starts leading up to the press smashing down was my artistic peak. ill never top it#also the “we'll keep dancing till we die” with die echoing as it zooms on the image of an empty press waiting for a body to lie down?#GOLD#anyways. i could ramble abt my choices there for ages. making a party song into a pop anthem of death is just delicious
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shane madej on top 5 beat down revealing his top character he’d want to be his dad and prefacing it with “I will admit this is maybe the most selfish” and then revealing his top pick as “God (Bible)” is the funniest one-two punch of a joke I’ve seen in a while
#I don’t really keep up with watcher but#every time I watch top 5 beat down I am delighted by Shane’s picks#the one they did recently with drew Gooden where they just got pissed at him for every choice…#watcher entertainment#watcher#shane madej
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back in septmeber i got some kind of attack in the middle of lab so they sent me to the ER because they didn't want to take chances with me dying from chemicals but still made me pay the hospital fees myself. then i still had to go back the next week to finish my lab. then bad news happened last week and my. lab report is so fucking late. all these penalties. it will be worth fucking nothing. what did i go to the ER for they should have just let me die there #tbh
#i assumed it was some panic attack not sure all i knew was my heart was beating fast even though my emotions were calm#and i was red like a lobster#oh yeah all that time and waiting to go to the ER doctor and showing him list of chemicals i worked with#and paying medical fees#just for them to go “bro i have no fucking clue what happened”#easilyy top 5 bruh moments this year#i really did not want to go to the ER like i thought seeing the schools general practitioner was enough#but the lab tech was so kind to accompany me everywhere#and she was the one who insisted i go to the ER even when i was like “ehhhh its probably fine”#and i am weak to older women what can i say#....my life was a series of unfortunate events unfolding into this utterly unsatisfying conclusion#should have had an anime arc like...No...I cant let her down...I cant let my trip to the hospitals go to waste...i will..finish this...!#but nah fate said “have a reason to spiral back into depression during hell week. and its something you cant even talk about.”#..i sound like im complaining but i just like talking about my life like comedy with plot points and foreshadowing etc#anyway i gotta write 2 reports tonight#then i can finally drink that vodka i bought last week#or maybe i should write my reports drunk..yeah!#unironically might be a good idea considering how much i overthink these things to the point of executive dysfunction
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why is he like this
#watcher entertainment#watcher#shane madej#ryan begara#ryan and shane#top five beatdown#top five beat down#top 5 beatdown
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saph is a watcherina?
i think im more offended you thought that i wasnt
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“My ear is burning, my ear is burning.”
“Well if you would hold still—,”
“You’re taking forever.”
“It’s a process! Here, wipe off your ear.”
“Gross, is this your sock? I’m starting to think you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I don’t. I told you that. It’s not my fault you didn’t think to download a tutorial before we went to space where there’s no YouTube. Either use the sock or suffer the chemical burns. I don’t care anymore.”
“Ah-ha! So at one point you cared.”
Peter stutters into silence. He’s 90% sure Harley is just bickering to fill the silence, as they do, but that 10% is compelling in its insistence that Harley isn’t going to gloss over Tony’s spilling of the beans for forever. At some point he’s going to want answers. Or rather, to let Peter down easy into the garbage compactor of ‘I’m flattered but I don’t think of you that way.’
HELLO??? Past Sarah where is the rest?????
#and how come i can't write good anymore???#let him down easy into the garbage compactor of ‘I’m flattered but I don’t think of you that way.’ <- GOLD#this is from one of those writing prompts i asked for back in (((april))) and for some reason i decided should be a 5 + 1 -_-#it'll happen#eventually probably#do you ever write a line so good you just like... you're done. you can't beat that.#every time i open this draft i'm like oh i can't top that it's done i guess#fuck it i'm going to write some mediocre lines and see what happens#maybe the rest of the fic will happen to me#parkner#parley#peter parker#harley keener#adventures with hair dye and feelings. In Space!#hold on is that the title now?
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Shrek x minty (CANON SHIP NOT FAKE)
Shrek turns and looks at minty with his alpha wolf male dominace, looking her up and he licks his daddy green lips seductively. Minty's uwu petite figure shakes under shrek's large genital figure, as she looks at him eith big doe eyes. Shrek walks forward, kissing minty with his long sexy tongue, making minty uwu in submissive ness
@dadofdisappointment can you kill me
#Please fucking kill me#I can't do this shit anymore#Put the gun in my mouth but I couldn't pull the trigger so now you have to do it#Plus if I have to read this so do you#First my comments kept getting cut off#Now this#You sent this yesterday but I didn't have post juice so now you must be reminding of yr sins red#Breaking this post down#1. I have the most alpha wolf dominance male zaddy#So I would've been the top#2. I AM NOT FUCKING PETITE I AM SO TALL IM TALL#IM 5'4“ YOU HAVE TO BE 5'3” TO BE PETITE#BEAT THAT BITCH 🤬🤬#3. why is Shrek penis shaped#4. So what if my eyes r round doesn't mean I'm a helpless little deer I'll charge at you with my big amrs 🤬🤬#5. I haven't brushed my teeth in like three days so#My throat probably tastes like semen and hot Cheetos#ANd my breath smells like balls and something zesty#I don't think I'm bi anymore because no women love me I'm women repellent 🥺#No man likes me either they are too scared of my dominance 🥶🥶#Just remembered my twelve wives nvm#I'm so alpha male wolf dominance zaddy#What#Can you guys pretend to ignore my neurodivergence and kill me already
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WHY THE FUCK DOES SHANE WANT TO FUCK MAURICE FROM BATB 1991?????
#yes top 5 beat down was traumatizing#Shane madej#what Is this will they won’t they Shane and I are enacting thru this blog. why does he refer to batb so much
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chimney canopy is suffering
why do i go up that instead of the fucking leg
at least that doesn’t have five separate vultures on screen at once
#i did spend like 5 hours trying to climb the leg my first run#but im sure it beats getting stuck in that one shelter in canopy#rainworld spoilers#rain world spoilers#there's also like 10 different cyan lizards and a dozen other lizards on the way#AND it's a fucking rain cycle so i can't just sleep again asap#what makes it even funnier tho is that i made it to the top and was making my way left#for the shelter#and. i fucking forgot. the first arrow pipe goes DOWN not to the middle bit#i just wanted a rock#at least spearmaster will be easier to get food for at the top shelter#can just bait a vulture and pipe camp
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Great observation, Shane
#he’s a teachers pet and it’s so funny#it’s so obvious in top 5 beat down tbh#shane madej#ryan bergara#watcher#watcher tv#weird and/or wonderful world
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