#Tommy/Maria

[bumblepony]

I got this wonderful commission of Tommy and Maria dancing by the amazing @kenobiwanx, and I am just blown away by how perfect it is!

I love Tommy & Maria, and the more fan art I can put out into TLOU community for them, the happier I'll be.

[lauronk]

happy birthday to my wonderful amazing friend @bumblepony who i adore more than anything and am so grateful to know and have in my life

this is a bit out of my wheelhouse but i hope i did tommy & maria justice for you, i give you a thousand smooches

hanging on every touch (baby don't rush)

word count: ~1.7k words tags: tommy/maria; romance; first date; kissing; lil bit of lap sitting; tommy being a nervous guy; flirting

Tommy checks his reflection in the mirror for the hundredth time, brushes back a stray piece of hair. He honestly can’t remember the last time he was so nervous that his palms were sweating like this, and he wipes them on his jeans for the third time.

Then again, he can’t remember the last time he liked a woman this much.

He’s been in Jackson for nearly six months now, doing his best to fit in and help out and prove himself worthy of their acceptance here. The settlement is… he can’t think of another word for it but a fucking miracle. A town full of people helping, pulling their weight, nobody dragging someone down to claw their way up. Tommy’d saw his right arm off if they said he had to in order to stay in the walls.

Especially if Maria asked.

He fiddles with the collar of his shirt, wondering if it’s too nice or not nice enough, or if he needs to change his belt buckle. There’d been so many of them collecting dust at the swap; now they lived in neat rows in the top drawer of his dresser, shiny and ready for use. The round silver one he’s wearing, etched with prickly pear cacti, had seemed like the right choice at first but now…well, now that he’s looking at the whole outfit, he thinks he might change it out for another. He’s got a nice galloping horse one, another featuring the outstretched wings of an eagle.

But his fingers wander over the square golden one featuring a longhorn, his favorite. It feels like a little piece of home, of football and tailgating and simpler times gathered around the television with Joel and Sarah.

Hopefully it brings him a little luck today.

A final once-over in the mirror, and then Tommy sucks in a calming breath and makes himself step away from the mirror and towards the front door. He can do this. He used to do it all the time, asking a woman out, being charming and funny, showing them a good time.

But that was nearly twenty years ago, when there were restaurants and bars and shows.

And none of those women even began to compare to Maria Wesley.

She’s off today, Tommy knows that, no council duties or rotations. He may have done a little asking around, may have planned everything out in advance. Stashed a picnic basket in the stables, made sure Justified and Ruffian were both available, cleared the route himself the day before. He thinks Maria’s the type of woman that’ll appreciate a good plan, having that burden lifted from her shoulders for once.

Or he’s completely misread her and she’ll hate it. Only one way to find out now.

Her house is four streets over from his, a two story that she’d shared with her father until he passed away a year or so ago. Tommy jogs up the steps and - before he can chicken out - raps his knuckles on the door.

The seconds stretch into an eternity before it opens, and then Maria’s standing in front of him in jeans and a t-shirt, feet bare and braids gathered in a knot on top of her head. Tommy’s heart skips, thuds, and leaps right up into his throat. Jesus fuck, she’s so beautiful.

“Miller,” she says easily, lips curving up in a smile. “What brings you by?”

What brings you by? Excellent fucking question, since all words and coherent thought seems to have fled his brain.

Tommy clears his throat, wills himself to not fuck this up. “You busy?” The words come out smooth, even, and internally he cheers a little.

Maria’s head tilts, smile growing. “Not at the moment, no.”

Here goes nothing. “Wanna come out on a ride with me?”

Her entire face brightens; a swarm of butterflies lets loose in his stomach. “I’d love to. Give me a minute to get changed?”

“Yeah,” Tommy exhales with a grin, trying to pretend his hands aren’t once again sweating something fierce. “Yeah, alright. I’ll just…be out here.”

Maria nods, the corners of her eyes crinkling slightly, and then the door closes and again and Tommy’s left to mentally run through his plan. It’s nothing fancy, he didn’t wanna come on too strong or push too hard. He definitely doesn’t wanna seem like he’s into her just because she’s one of the people who gets to determine whether he stays or goes, even if he feels pretty firmly lodged in the staying column by this point. He just…really fucking likes her.

And when she emerges again ten minutes later in boots and a light jacket, braids spilling down her back and a bright grin across her lips, Tommy knows he’s well and truly fucked.

–

They never run out of things to talk about. It kind of astounds him really, how easy it is to just chat with her as they ride side by side up towards Flat Creek. Everything from her childhood to his time in the Army, the cases she worked on before the outbreak and how Jackson came to be, his time with the Fireflies and why he left.

The ride itself takes maybe an hour or so before they come to the spot Tommy picked out, a flat stretch of grass along the water that looks out on the plains and rolling hills across from them. He’d come through here on a couple patrols and seen the elk that cantered by; immediately, he’d wanted to show Maria. Never mind that she’s probably seen it a dozen times before - it had seemed to lovely to not share with her.

They settle onto the blanket he spreads across the grass, a small assortment of snacks between them. Jerky, granola, fruits from the greenhouse, cucumber slices, a bit of cheese from the town stores. Anything he’d thought Maria would like, Tommy had tried to provide.

“Y’know,” Maria says, teasing lilt to her voice and her eyes on the swaying grass ahead of them, “I was wondering if you were ever gonna get up the nerve to do this.”

Tommy laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “That obvious, huh?”

She shrugs and leans back, her weight on her hands. “A little. I was kind of worried I was only seeing what I wanted to see, you know.”

He tries not to grin, tries to pretend that doesn’t make him as happy as it does. He used to be so much better at playing it cool, damnit. “What you wanted to see, huh?”

She rolls her eyes, still grinning. “You heard me.” And then before Tommy can blink Maria’s up on her knees, swinging a denim-clad leg over his thighs so she’s seated comfortably in his lap, thighs on either side of his. “Here’s the thing, Miller –” and boy does he like it when she last-names him “– in this fucked up world we’re in, I don’t really believe in wasting time or beating around the bush.”

Tommy can’t help but snort, hands coming up to wrap carefully around her hips and pull her a little closer. “I get the feeling, ma’am,” he clocks the way her eyes flutter at that, “that you didn’t believe in wasting time or beating around the bush even before the world went to shit.”

Her lips purse as though thinking his words over, and he can’t help it - he leans forward, just a little, lured in by her like he has been damn near every day since she sat across from him at the clinic and laid out the rules for living in Jackson.

Maria catches the movement, smirking, and she leans in a little too, close enough that it feels like her words are slipping from her mouth to his. “And you’d be right.” She closes the distance between them, soft lips pressing against him as her hands snake up from his shoulders to tangle in his hair, and thank the good Lord above he’d showered and washed it before this.

“You know,” Tommy manages when she’s pulled back just a fraction, chest rising and falling rapidly, “I don’t normally do this on the first date, I try to be more of a gentleman.”

Maria laughs, the vibrations of it rumbling into his own chest, her nose brushing his. “Liar,” she murmurs, before erasing the distance between them once more.

He’s careful with his own hands, even as the feeling of her settled above him with her braids falling forward like a curtain between them and the world threatens to undo his already fraying self-control. Fingertips dig into the meat of her hips before sliding up to wrap around her ribs and hoist her even closer to him, the barest graze along the side of her breast having her gasping against his mouth and he leans forward again, chasing the sound –

A twig snaps behind them and Tommy moves automatically, shifting to put Maria behind him, one hand reaching to the pistol on the blanket by his hip.

But it’s just patrol on the other side of the creek, Fred pointedly looking at the sky and Selina winking at them. Tommy flushes, Maria lifting her hand in an easy wave.

“Wrap it before you tap it!” Selina hollers across, nudging her horse into a canter to catch up with a rapidly fleeing Fred. “You kids have fun!”

“Jesus Christ,” Tommy chuckles, his head falling forward until it rests on Maria’s collarbone. “Damn near gave me a heart attack.”

“You and me both.” Her hand resumes its lazy wandering through the hair at the nape of his neck, and Tommy bites back a quiet moan. “Maybe we oughta be moving this…somewhere else.” The suggestion in her tone is unmistakable, and his hands tighten with the urge to pull her close all over again. Instead he pulls back, tilts his chin up to look her in the eyes.

“If you’re sure…”

She doesn’t hesitate, pushing to her feet and holding her hands out to help pull him up as well. Her arms wrap around his neck, lips finding his one more time. “I’m sure,” Maria says, no hesitation in the words.

And well - how in the hell could he ever tell her no?

happy birthday girly i hope you have the best day ever!!

find all my ficlets on ao3 and tumblr

[chronicallyonlinewriter]

for drabbles: more Tommy and Maria? you gave them such a cute family and I want to see more of that!

I'm actually working on a one-shot (tentatively titled Stand on the Rock) about them, which fits into my People Still Listen to Fleetwood Mac in the Apocalypse series. It takes place a year after the events of Go Your Own Way, and about two-and-a-half years before As Long as You Follow. Again, have a (long!) snip!

A crash resonated from somewhere within the house – downstairs, judging from the overall distance that seemed to carry it – and then a shout quickly followed. A second later there was another sound, and a far more terrifying one at that: the shattering of glass, followed by a young voice yelling out in surprise and then a more feminine tone screeching out, “you asshole!” 

“For fuck’s sake –” Maria turned her head, moaning this into her pillow. “Tell me I didn’t just hear something glass break.”

“You didn’t hear somethin’ glass break,” Tommy grunted. Still, they didn’t move, seemingly frozen in place. A deep sigh left his lips, his forehead pressed against her braids. “Maybe we can just…lay here, pretend like we didn’t hear nothin’.”

“Mama!” The sheer desperation of the cry made them both groan, and that was that – all hope was lost. Within seconds, their – thankfully locked – doorknob was rattling, twisting back and forth and shuddering as a small fist pounded against the painted wood. “Papa! Let me in!”

“You want broken glass, or the three-year-old?” Maria pulled herself away from him with a groan, leaving him suddenly feeling rather cold even under the warmth of their duvet. She slid out from over the covers and sat up at the side of the bed, stretching herself long, her feet on the ground and her head tilted back as her hands grasped at the back of her neck, working out the knots in her muscles. 

“I want you to get back in this bed, cariño,” he grumbled, reaching his arm out long just to tug at the bottom of her sleep shirt. “Whatever’s broken’ll still be broken in five minutes.”

“Five minutes, huh?” She twisted around to look at him still laying against his pillow, one eyebrow arched toward her hairline. “What girl could possibly resist an offer that enticing?” She rose to her feet as he chuckled, opening her dresser drawers and grabbing a clean pair of underwear and some jeans, both of which she wrangled over her hips with impressive speed as she hopped her way to their bedroom door. There was still a small pair of lungs bellowing for mama and papa on the other side, but as soon as it was unlocked and Maria pulled it open, the little face that was there to greet them switched from abject misery to pure joy almost immediately.

“Mama!” Artie threw hands in the air, jumping up and down on his tip-toes expectantly. Maria acquiesced immediately, sweeping the boy up in her arms and holding him securely at her shoulder. “Teo and Cece broke something!” he informed both of them chirpily, and Tommy snorted even as he covertly pulled his boxers back over his thighs, still under the protection of the blanket.

“My son, the narc,” he said, holding his hands out.

“My son, the state’s witness,” Maria corrected him, pressing a sloppy kiss on the boy’s cheek before dropping the giggling bundle of curly hair and fire engine red pajamas on top of the covers, where he immediately made a beeline for his father’s waiting arms. “All yours, Casanova. I’m going downstairs – see what the other two have managed to destroy. My bet’s on a window.”

“Don’t be a pessimist, mi vida,” he chided her, and she paused in the doorway, “we also got a TV, some mirrors – I mean, the possibilities are endless.”

She didn’t even bother replying directly to him, letting the shake of her head and a few mumbled words do it for her, and he listened to her feet stomping down the stairs while Artie pushed himself into his arms, pressing his face against Tommy’s chest.

“Do you know what they broke, cachetes?” he whispered to the toddler, brushing some of his curls away from his eyes. The boy shook his head, though his smile only grew. “No? You were in bed?” Artie nodded this time, and Tommy laughed. “Yeah, I don’t believe that for a second.” 

Artie said nothing to this, but he giggled again, reaching up to tug on the collar of Tommy’s t-shirt so he could pull himself closer to the man’s chest. He nestled in, a small, warm body curled against his father, and Tommy welcomed the embrace, more than willing to steal a few extra moments of rest so his heart could find some calm before the demands of the day began. He knew well enough that this was all very temporary – that someday Artie would decide that he was too old to start his mornings this way, that eventually he wouldn’t even want Tommy to hold his hand while they walked through the streets of Jackson. He still remembered the sting of it, the first time Sarah surreptitiously pulled away from him before they could cross an intersection together, barely seven years old but already convinced of her need for independence. 

“It’s just you, me, and the alborotadores today,” he said softly, palming one of Artie’s comically rounded cheeks. It was almost disappointing that they were beginning to diminish; that the boy was growing into his looks, stretching taller by the day and developing a leanness to his limbs that was propelling him out of toddlerhood faster than Tommy expected or wanted. “What d'you wanna do?”

When Artie smiled he was all Tommy, his nose wrinkling out of habit, a wide grin stretched over his teeth. In moments of tranquility Maria's influence on his features became more evident, his dark eyes just as wide and observant, his nose, when settled, more rounded at its tip. His hair seemed to darken more and more every day – and it was the hair that always gave Tommy pause, so reminiscent of the cousin he would never get to meet, tightly-coiled and springy and barely able to be contained under a hat when the weather turned cold. It was the hair that always caught his uncle’s attention, too; where his eyes always lingered for a little longer than he meant for them to, his expression carefully neutral until the child’s attention was upon him and he would remember to immediately force a smile that never quite reached his eyes.

“Pancakes,” said Artie now, “with syrup.” 

Forget the syrup one goddamn time, and Tommy was certain he would never hear the end of it. Still, he smiled down at the pair of eyes that were now carefully watching him, a young face that brightened considerably when he nodded in agreement. “Pancakes it is. Gotta go to the dining hall for it, though. You’re gonna have to get dressed – no pajamas allowed. You wanna get started, and then I’ll come in and help?” “Okay!” Invigorated by the promise of pancakes, Artie sprang up at once, crawling over his father and not even noticing the sharp ‘oof!’ pushed out of Tommy’s lungs when one of his small knees connected with sternum, dropping down on the other side of him and then wiggling down the side of the bed until his bare feet touched the cold hardwood. “Hurry!” the boy yelled, already dashing into the hallway. Tommy sat up slowly, one hand rubbing at his aching chest, a deep sigh leaving his throat.

He’d been awake for less than ten minutes, and already he could tell it was going to be a very long day.

[mariatesstruther]

i`ve just finished all your fics and they`re so goooooood, i want more! i'm in my Tommy/Maria rot and you write them so well, are you gonna write more for the pairing maybe? also what are your favorite Tommy/Maria fics?💖

omg thank u thank u thank u anon, whoever and wherever u are. i really appreciate this, and i am 100% writing more of maria/tommy. i just got a second job so my time is limited, but literally almost everytime in on the bus to/from work im thinking and writing about these two 🫶🏾

fear of heights, my tommy/maria origin story fic will have part 2 posted sometime in september! tommy’s chapter will finish off that fic, and i’d love to write more stories of them in that universe like flora and fauna

in the meantime, my joel/tess exes textfic also has a bit of tommy/maria and will be finished at the end of this month!

i also plan to write a tommy/maria hairdresser au in which maria does hair, either as a modern au or some type of miller family fic set in jackson!

as for my favorite maria/tommy fics, im actually working on a fic rec post with my favorite works about them and maria specifically. i feel like it’s so hard to find fics that appreciate and extend understanding to maria as a character along with tommy, so i want to make a list of the ones i personally really love. should be posted by wednesday!

off the top of my head though, i love anything by marchflower, especially in sickness and in health

germanus by @timelesslords

wool to brave the seasons by ducle_chisme

if it werent for second chances, we’d all be alone by mentallyinlothlorien

ANYTHING by cannedpeaches (who also has an amazing tommy/maria origin fic)

AND there was nowhere for me to stay by missicarus08

hope there’s something in here u haven’t read yet anon!!! if anyone has tommy/maria fics to rec please fell welcome to reply 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

sm love and i will make sure to reblog this when i update!

[pearlessance]

Idle Threats MASTERLIST

Joel has watch duty with Jackson’s twenty-year old, smart-mouthed brat and gets more than he bargained for.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content MDNI, brat taming, religious imagery and symbolism, catholic guilt, dom/sub undertones, canon typical violence, age gap (32years), mean!Joel, jealousy, reader is given a backstory to progress the plot, size difference, mention of sexual assault, mention of loss and death, mention of sexual assault of a minor, (no explicit details), renouncing of god, desecration of a church, JOEL POV

i: Watch Duty

ii: Locked Doors

iii: The Hand that Feeds

iv: Feelin' Empty?

v: Faith in Me

vi: Her Love Endures

vii: Dig Two Graves

viii: Forgive Me, Father

ix: Judge, Jury, Executioner

x: 32:1

[completed on AO3!]

divider by @tsunami-of-tears <3

bottom graphic by @saradika-graphics <3

[bumblepony]

Is it this couple, by any chance? Because, like, I am totally staring at them, too. Like, can we stare at them together?

Hey boss I can’t come into work tomorrow. I need to stare at a screenshot of my emotional support fictional couple touching foreheads. Yeah one of them is covered in blood, so it’s gonna be an all day thing. You understand

[naughtyneganjdm]

Christmas in Jackson - Chapter 5

Summary: Joel, Tommy and Maria take Y/N to The Tipsy Bison to have a relaxed ending for their night where Joel starts to recognize his undeniable feelings for Y/N. A surprise reveal brings back negative feelings for Joel that Y/N isn't prepared for.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Tommy Miller, Maria, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61159651/chapters/159176311

Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, Heavy Making Out, Dry Humping, Smut (kinda), Very Intense Dirty Talk, the return of grumpy Joel, etc.

Notes: This took me a significant amount of time to update because I was a little bummed to see that it got a decent amount of views, but no comments on AO3. But? I'm writing this story for me and the holidays kinda made it hard for me to update. So here is the chapter. If you'd like to read previous chapters, check them out here.

Today was unlike anything Joel had experienced in a long time. The last twenty-four hours he actually felt something he thought he had lost. A sense of happiness and joy. Surprisingly, the woman who walked into his inn that he was filled with rage toward at the start ended up being someone who brought out a part of him he didn’t even know existed anymore. And it felt good.

There was a warmth that flooded his veins when he looked at Y/N. Truthfully? He couldn’t remember the last time he felt that way toward anyone. Being around her was addictive. There was a longing to have her near him. And when he wasn’t kissing her? All he could think about was kissing her. The way she touched him, the way she looked at him…it was something that he looked forward to. Maybe it was fast, but he could tell that he had grown pretty hooked on this woman he had only just met.

Hearing her story tonight brought forth the urge to protect her and keep her safe. Originally, he just thought she was a stuck-up city girl, but getting to know her helped him realize that the two of them were more alike than he could have ever imagine. They both had broken pasts. Ones that stuck with them and made them feel like no matter what they would never be right again.

These feelings that he had toward Y/N? These weren’t feelings that you were supposed to have toward someone you had only just met. But he did. And with every second he stared out at her, he could feel that awe and adoration growing inside of him. Pretty quickly everything about her had appealed to him. Her smile. Her attitude. The way she presented herself. Every quirk and thing he learned about her only had that feeling that he hadn’t experienced in so long growing inside of him.

At dinner, things had grown uncomfortably quiet between them because what Y/N had told them was a lot to process. Tommy felt bad that he was the one that led to that discussion so he had kept quiet. Maria was the one working hard to bring forth good memories for her. When it came to Joel though? He was the quietest of them all. Joel was never good at saying the right thing. That was for certain. And he knew that he couldn’t make her feel better. So he just showed his support by occasionally placing his hand over hers. That’s the best he could really do at the time.

Desperate to make sure that she didn’t end the night on a bad note, Tommy insisted that they all came to The Tipsy Bison just to unwind for a few. Even though all of them were tired, especially after their day snowmobiling, Joel wasn’t eager to say no. He liked spending time with Y/N and he knew that Tommy just wanted to leave her in a positive mood.

During her conversation she made it pretty clear with them that she was sad, just like he was. Even though he put up these walls of anger and being closed off, she saw right through him. Broken recognized broken. That’s what she told him the other night. And now it all made sense. They were more alike than he cared to admit.

When they agreed to come to The Tipsy Bison, Joel managed to get Y/N to agree to not drinking anything more for the night. Especially after how drunk she got last night mixed with the things that she said, Joel didn’t want her night to end with her hurting. Or even worse, hurting herself. From experience, Joel knew just how bad alcohol was for a person who had that much trauma and negative thoughts. Most nights he fought his own mind on whether he was drinking to numb himself or drinking to give himself the courage to finally end the life that he was miserable having. So he didn’t want her to drown herself in that.

Thankfully, she didn’t fight him on not drinking. The only stipulation she had was if she wasn’t going to drink, neither was he. Which he had no problem doing. Numbing the pain was not something he wanted to experience right now anyways. He wanted to be very much present around her. Especially since he liked the way he felt around her.

Right now, Joel found himself standing inside of The Tipsy Bison at the other end of the pool table from where Tommy and Y/N were bickering. Bracing his weight on the pool cue that he had balanced vertically on the floor, Joel couldn’t help but smirk watching the two of them fighting about the game they were playing. Originally they had just planned to sit for a while and talk, but when Tommy saw that a pool table was open when they got there, he was eager to play a game. Making the teams Maria and himself against Joel and Y/N. For some reason, Tommy assumed by the questions that Y/N asked that she would be horrible at pool, but it was quite the opposite actually. And that infuriated Tommy because he was expecting the worst. Then again, Tommy was the only one of the four of them that had continued drinking, so maybe he was more wired up because of that.

Curling his fingers tighter around the pool cue, Joel felt the warmth of someone else moving in beside him. Taking a quick look, he saw that it was Maria joining him to watch the two of them going back and forth, “I saw that you know.”

“Saw what?” Joel grunted, his eyebrows furrowing with the lines in his forehead growing deeper when he finally turned his attention away from Y/N to his sister-in-law.

“That smile. You tried to hide it after you realized you were doing it,” Maria lifted her finger to circle Joel’s face causing him to wrinkle his nose and shake his head. “Nah, don’t hide it Joel Miller. Smiling looks good on you. Let it happen.”

“Stop,” Joel grumbled under his breath, trying to force the smirk that wanted to tug at his lips from coming. “I wasn’t smiling.”

“Yeah, yeah. Lie to yourself all you want, but I have eyes,” Maria teased Joel, reaching out to playfully squeeze at Joel’s upper arm. Sitting on the edge of the pool table, Maria turned to look at Tommy and Y/N who were both now laughing with their ridiculous banter. “You know what he’s doing, right?”

“Being a sore loser?” Joel was quick to respond drawing out a tiny laugh from Maria since that’s obviously where she wasn’t going with that question.

“Well, yes. That, but no…” Maria sighed loudly, her voice lowering when she turned back to Joel to stare out at him with a weak smile. Truthfully? There was no reason she had to attempt to be quiet. The bar was loud as it was and he doubted that Tommy nor Y/N would ever hear them talking with one another. “He’s trying to get her mind off the things she opened up to us about earlier. It’s not the best way to do it, but it’s sweet when you think about it.”

“That’s my baby brother. The sweet one,” Joel noted, his throat tensing up when he readjusted the weight of his body and played with the pool cue that he was holding onto. “I know what he’s doing and I appreciate it.”

“It took a lot of strength for her to open up about the things that happened to her. It makes you realize a lot when it comes to her,” Maria commented taking another quick look back at Y/N thinking about everything they now knew. “I’m glad she came here. I think it was good for her. And for you too.”

“Mhmm…” Joel hummed, not sure what to say to that comment. Things were confusing enough as they were. Talking things out with his brother’s wife was not something he thought would help him on his feelings toward Y/N. But he did know that Tommy was working hard to keep Y/N happy instead of allowing her sadness to swallow her whole. “Tommy might want to be careful though. If he keeps this up much longer, he’s going to lose that good guy image he worked so hard to build and people will start thinking he’s a baby.”

“Don’t you think it makes sense that I would be good at this kind of thing?” Joel heard Y/N ramble off drawing his attention back toward her reasoning with his brother. There was a big smile over her face showing that Tommy was successful bringing forth some joy after everything. “I’m good with my hands Tommy. If I was bad with them, I’d be worried. Being a trauma surgeon, I think that would make me a very bad one. Don’t you?”

“Come on. We’re not talking about that though. We’re talkin’ about pool. Which is more so mathematics and trajectories. Not the same thing as a human body,” Tommy threw his hand out toward the pool table eliciting a laugh from Maria at how dramatic he was acting in his response. Scrunching his face up in disbelief, Tommy scoffed and rest his hands at his hips. “I’ve known plenty of doctors that played pool like shit.”

"Oh, you know a lot of doctors?” Maria blurt out, moving around the pool table to reach out to grab a soft hold of Tommy’s arm to get him to look back at her. With a big-eyed expression, Tommy nodded his head about and Maria snickered. “How many doctors? Do I know them? Because the only doctor I know is a very old man. And I doubt he’d be able to properly hold onto a pool cue without shaking.”

“Honey,” Tommy hushed his wife, waving his hand about suggesting as if she should be quiet in the moment. It made Joel smile that Tommy was continuing on with this whole thing. And he knew that Maria was right. This was Tommy’s way of distracting everyone from letting the negativity hang over their heads. “I’m just making a point. She bamboozled me.”

“Bamboozled you?” Joel snorted from his end of the pool table, shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s time just to own up to how things are. You’ve always sucked at pool little brother. Time to suck it up before you bamboozle yourself into believing you were ever good to begin with.”

“Well that’s just rude,” Tommy growled, his top lip wrinkling and his dark eyes narrowing at his brother. “Not all of us were blessed with perfect aim. But I do my best, I’ll have you know.”

“How many drinks did you have honey?” Maria wondered hearing the soft slurring that was coming from Tommy’s lips. Shrugging his shoulders it looked like Tommy was counting inside of his head and she lovingly placed her hand in over the center of Tommy’s chest. Patting there softly, Maria nodded over toward the corner table and smiled. “How about you and I go sit down for a while? Give them some time to play alone. I could definitely use some time off my feet right now. It’s been a busy day.”

Locking eyes with Joel, Y/N’s cheeks flushed over with a tiny smirk tugging at her features. Tommy gazed between Y/N and Joel considering his options. When he decided, he looked to Maria and gave her a wink, “Yes ma’am.”

Stepping away from Maria, Tommy did have a bit of a stumble to the way he walked. Maybe Tommy really was a little drunk making it easier for him to bicker freely with Y/N about the game he lost. Moving around the pool table, Tommy returned the pool cue to where it belonged.

Instead of heading back to Maria, Tommy stepped before Y/N and outstretched his hands. Placing them in over Y/N’s shoulders, Tommy gave them a firm squeeze having her smile at the way he was staring out at her with such a serious expression, “Now you listen to me, okay? You kick my big brother’s ass so bad that he feels awful about himself and goes home with his tail between his legs. Mmmk?”

“Easy,” she confidently nodded her head feeling like Tommy was giving her some kind of peptalk in her playing an innocent game of pool with Joel.

“Tommy,” Joel scoffed from across the table, both annoyed and amused that his brother cared enough to say that to her. Although, he didn’t hate it because it did elicit a huge smile from Y/N that took his breath away.

Coming to collect Tommy, Maria hooked her fingers with Tommy’s and curled her arm around his to make sure that he wouldn’t topple over on their way back to the table, “Now you two have fun while I get this one some much needed water.”

Leading Tommy toward the empty table that they were originally planning on sitting at, Maria knew that it would probably be good for Joel and Y/N to have some alone time together. Which is what she did having Y/N moving in beside Joel.

“He’s silly,” Y/N spoke up after Tommy had left them, nudging Joel playfully with her arm. “So he’s one of those happy drunks, huh?”

“Do you mean annoying?” Joel inquired, his head slowly turning with his right eyebrow arching. There was a muscle that flexed at the corner of his jaw when he evoked another amused laugh from her throat. “I’m not sure alcohol has an overall effect on him. I’ve seen him sad. I’ve seen him happy. And I’ve seen moments like that. Whatever he is feeling in the moment? Alcohol just seems to enhance it for him.”

“I guess I never realized that Tommy would be fun with how straight laced he seems,” she confessed, heading back to the table to start gathering the pool balls that were still left out on the table from their previous game. Once she had all of them, she grabbed the rack to start preparing for their next game. Spinning the rack in her fingers, she took time to think about her day and smiled. “Today has shown me that I enjoy spending time with the Miller family.”

“Well see, that’s you being biased about Tommy,” Joel suggested, snapping his fingers about. Turning on his heel to face her, Joel played with the pool cue that he was holding in his hands. “Because Tommy is not fun. Tommy in fact is a very boring soul. Always has been. You just like him because he’s nice.”

“Oh, is that it?” she snickered causing Joel to nod his head. Their interaction had him smirking which brought attention to one of his dimples. The sight of it had her heart skipping a beat. God he was cute. “Not to embarrass you or anything…”

Walking around the table, she dragged her hand across the top of the pool table with Joel’s dark eyes following her every movement. When she got before him, she outstretched her hand to caress at the center of his chest and then palmed up over his shoulder to curl her fingers into his hair. It caused Joel’s lips to part with his eyelids growing heavy having her near, “But I never noticed when we first met that you had dimples. Today? I’ve gotten to see them many times. And I like it. It’s adorable.”

“Adorable?” Joel repeated, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip in an amused rumble. “Puppies and kittens are adorable.”

“And so are you,” she hushed him, sliding her hand down to cover his lips with her index finger. Shaking her head had another smirk teasing in over his lips. “You can be this brooding sexy man standing before me and still be adorable.”

“I see,” Joel exhaled loudly when she lowered her hand, but instead of moving away she pressed in closer to him. “Well you know what I think?”

“No, what do you think?” she muttered, her long eyelashes fluttering when Joel closed the distance between them.

“I think you’re the adorable one,” Joel informed her, enjoying the way that her face flushed over with color hearing that.

A moment later, she was reaching up to drag her thumb in over the side of his face where his more prominent dimple was, “You know, one is more obvious than the other.”

“You don’t say?” Joel’s nose wrinkled, giving her a small nod. “You know I wouldn’t know that considering I’ve had them my entire life.”

“Okay, smart ass,” she pushed at the center of his chest getting him to stumble back slightly with a tiny snort escaping his lips. “I do agree with you though.”

“About?” Joel mused as she went back toward the end of the pool table to set up the balls. Leaning forward managed to draw her shirt to pull forward allowing him to get a look beneath it through the dip at her neckline. His throat went dry and he licked his lips with how easily his body started to heat up.

“I am the more adorable one. I won’t fight you on it,” she declared eliciting a loud groan from him that had him rolling his eyes. “I was just simply stating that I think your dimples are cute and they add to your personality.”

“Mhmm…” Joel hummed, setting aside his pool cue on top of the pool table. Taking his time, he made his way around the pool table toward where she was. Hooking his arm loosely around her waist, Joel persuaded her to turn to face him. Placing his hands in over her hips, Joel got her to look up at him and it sent a chill right through his veins. The way she looked at him was something he wasn’t used to, but God did he like it. Lowering his head down, he hovered his lips in over hers. Just having him near had her eyes fluttering to a slow close. How easily he had her reacting showed him just how much she wanted him to kiss her. “I can be very cute on occasion.”

Faintly allowing his lips to drag across hers had her believing that he was going to fully kiss her, but instead he snickered against her flesh and tipped his head back. Teasing her caused her to frown and let out a disappointed sound, “That wasn’t very nice.”

“Now I never said I was nice,” Joel retorted, the bridge of his nose wrinkling when a faint rumble of a laugh escaped him. His laugh grew with her pushing him away from her and he threw his hands up in the air feigning innocence. “What?”

“Jerk,” she scowled, heading back to set up their game again. Stopping at his pool cue, she grabbed it and tossed it back to him. Fumbling to catch it, Joel was still snickering that she got so worked up over him not kissing her. “Are you a betting man?”

“Depends,” Joel thought aloud, not confident with where the question was coming from.

“Let’s up the stakes of the game. What do you say?” she recommended, pulling away the rack after she was done and tossing it aside where it was before. Folding her arms in front of her chest, she rest her hip against the table. “If I win the game, you take me into some dark corner of the bar and you make out with me. If you win, well…you can think of something.”

“Oh, that’s what you mean,” Joel realized holding the pool cue in one of his hands while bracing his weight on the table with the other. Bobbing his head from side to side in an arrogant fashion, Joel knew that he was having fun playing with her. Taunting her was bringing out her spunky side and he liked it. “What makes you think I’d want something from you?”

“Hey, you better be nice to me Joel Miller,” she warned him, lifting her finger to point out at him. A snort involuntary escaped him with the amusement that was growing inside of him. “Or else you might not like the outcome.”

“And what might that outcome be?” he questioned, in that moment realizing that someone that was originally over by the bar was starting to make their way over toward the pool table where they were at. Suddenly the playful expression over his features grew very serious. Realizing who it was, Joel knew that it was someone who was at the bar when Y/N was drunk at the bar last night mouthing off about things. As they approached the table, Joel made his way around the pool table and placed himself in front of her. Using his free hand, Joel carefully ushered her in behind him so he could stand in front of her protectively. “Stay there.”

“What’s wrong?” she didn’t pick up on what was happening with the man approaching them.

And there was that protective side of him that wanted to keep her safe. With this being a small town, that unfortunately meant that Joel pretty much knew everyone in it. And the guy that was coming over there? Well he was known to be a bit of a ladies’ man that was always sinking his nails into any of the women that showed up in town that were travelers. There was no question that the guy was going to try to pick her up and say something skeezy in order to do so.

“Hey Joel,” the man seemed confused at how quickly Joel placed himself between Y/N and him when he spotted him coming over. Attempting to look beyond Joel to Y/N had Joel stepping aside to keep her from the stranger’s line of sight. “I hope you don’t mind. I just was hoping to talk to the doc for a few minutes. I know she’s new in town and…”

“I know what you were hoping to do and I mind. I mind a lot,” Joel cut the man off, his words coming off short with a tone of anger behind them. The fun and silly Joel suddenly became extremely intimidating in such a short amount of time. “You heard her ranting last night and you thought you would take advantage of the situation. Test your luck.”

“Joel,” the man spoke with a half laugh, not sure if Joel was serious about the way that he was acting. “I was just trying to be a nice guy and introduce myself. I thought it would be nice to get to know the people in town…”

“This one is mine,” Joel grunted, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat with his dark eyes narrowing. As soon as he said that? It was like something switched inside of the stranger that had him taking a step back. Over Joel’s shoulder, Y/N could see that Tommy was locked in after noticing the encounter. “And if you even think of bothering her…”

 Joel paused, stroking his fingers down over the pool cue that was in his hand to bring attention to it, “I will break this over your head and then I will shove the remainder of it up your ass…”

Hearing Joel speak like that had the man’s eyes growing wide, his head nodding slowly as he started back stepping toward the area he came from, “Now you have a good rest of your night, okay?”

“Sure Joel,” the man held up his hands in a defensive motion hinting that he didn’t want any trouble with Joel. “I didn’t know she was yours. All you had to do was tell me and I would have turned the other way man.”

“I’m sure you would have,” Joel snarled, his eyes following the movement of the man all the way back to his seat. Once the man was seated again, Joel heard the sound of Y/N laughing behind him. Gazing over his shoulder, Joel realized that she was impressed. “What?”

“You have this town fucking terrified of you,” she noted how easily he got the guy to walk away from the pool table before even talking to her. And the guy wasn’t small either. So there had to be a reason that Joel was so capable of that. “Why is that? You’re probably smaller than that guy was.”

“I’m stronger than I look,” Joel commented, turning on his heel to face her realizing that she had put everything down and was no longer focused on the game of pool that they were planning on playing. “What?”

“I’m just curious what has everyone so scared of you,” she stressed to him, stepping forward to reach out to tug faintly at the material of his shirt to pull him in closer to her. “Is it your award-winning personality? Or do people actually have a reason to be scared of you?”

“For certain people, I’m kind and very helpful,” Joel explained to her, grunting when he thought about the people that lived in Jackson. “But for others? They know better than to fuck with me. I may not be the biggest man here or the tallest, but I’m stronger than I look. And there has been times, especially when Tommy and I first got to town where people learned that. You’re good with your hands? Well…so am I. Just in different ways.”

“Wow,” she slurred, her eyes focusing in on his lips. “That’s it?”

“That and a few things,” Joel swallowed down hard, his breathing growing louder. “Y’know how rumors spread when people are scared of you. They have fun talking about my past. Spreading rumors about things they think they know.”

“Should I be worried?” her hand palmed in over his bicep pulling forth a chill inside of him at the way she was touching him.

“Probably,” he breathed out, but she didn’t seemed worried in the least. There was part of him that was afraid to admit that to her, but she didn’t seem to be upset with the idea. No, it was quite the opposite. Swallowing down hard, Joel felt her taking the pool cue from him. Setting it down on the table, she reached for his hands to stroke over the tops of them. Tracing over them had a lump in his throat developing with his dark eyes locked on hers.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you told him that I was yours,” she pointed out in a whisper, closing the distance between the two of them. Tipping up on her toes, she braced her back against the pool table to bring them closer together. “Why is that?”

“Well, he’s a big mouth,” Joel responded with a simple expression acting like it wasn’t much of a big deal. Faintly she stroked at the center of his chest and he couldn’t help but be charmed by it. “I figure he’ll tell everyone that might get any ideas about approaching you over the things you said last night and they won’t bother you.”

“Oh, that’s all?” she hinted that there may have been more of a reason, biting down on her lip in what felt like a seductive manner having a fire flooding through Joel’s veins. “Nothing else?”

“Nothing else,” Joel repeated the words that she said, leaning in to attempt to meet her in a kiss, but she pulled back like he had done to her earlier in the night.

“Then I guess we can just keep playing if there is no other reason,” she proposed, pointing back toward the pool table. Gasping out, she felt Joel’s thick fingers hooking around her wrist tugging her back toward him. The tug was rough having her fall in against him. A moment later he was leading her through the bar toward another area she had yet been. “What about the game?”

“We both know you’re going to win,” Joel insisted exciting her at the idea of him pulling her away from the crowd of people that were in the bar. Taking a quick look back, Joel checked to make sure they were alone and weren’t being followed. Having her follow him to a back hallway, she assumed this was the area that the office was for whoever owned the bar. The loud music that had been playing was now muffled, but with Joel trapping her between his body and the corner of the wall she didn’t have a care in the world about it. “So why bother playing when I can just give you your winnings now?”

At first? She thought she would banter back and forth with him a little more, but Joel’s mouth forcefully claimed hers in a hungry kiss. A rush of excitement flooded throughout her body with her tipping up on her toes toward him. Instinctively her arms hooked loosely around his shoulders so she could brace herself against him. Purring against his lips, she was surprised with how passionate and unrelenting the kiss was. Sinking one of her hands into his messy hair had him lowering in closer to her allowing her to kiss him back just as much.

By the time they parted they were both breathless with the warmth of Joel’s mouth hanging in over hers, “I like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you too,” Joel growled, dragging his bottom lip up over her lips before starting to press kisses at the side of her face.

Usually? She didn’t do things like this and it made her worry in that moment, “With the things that I said when I was drunk? I uhm. I hope you don’t think I’m a slut or anything. I’m actually very careful. I have to take blood tests all the time with work and...”

“Okay…” Joel didn’t seem to care about what she was saying, panting when he leaned back enough to gaze upon her with his brown eyes. Leaning in to kiss her again had her placing her hand in over his chest to stop him which confused him.

“What I said about the sex and the blowjobs are the truth though. I do pay really close attention to the body and I’m capable of the things that I said,” she continued to explain with Joel nodding, his eyes locked on her lips showing that in that moment all he wanted to do was kiss her. Right now she seemed to be nervous and rambling on which made Joel smile. “I’m not some naughty, skanky girl that…”

“Hey Y/N?” Joel breathed, his fingers tracing in over the side of her face getting her to tip her head back to look at him.

“Yeah?” she whimpered with the rough pad of his thumb sweeping in over her bottom lip.

“Shut up,” he demanded with her immediately nodding her head. Stealing another kiss from her lips, Joel growled when she just as hastily kissed him back. For some reason she seemed nervous with him even through all the flirting they had done together. Confident or nervous. He didn’t care. This woman had a fire growing inside of his body that he couldn’t deny. Pressing his body in closer to hers had her moaning out. It had her mouth parting with his tongue eagerly brushing out against hers. Their hands were everywhere, touching the other and learning their bodies. Getting used to what the other liked while they made out in some dark corner of this bar. Joel was very dominant in the way that he kissed her and it was addictive. Having her eager for kiss after kiss that he rewarded her with. Hissing out, her eyes slammed shut when he started to kiss over the side of her face, over her jawline and toward her neck. Biting faintly at her jaw had her panting loudly, her hands caressing up over the lengths of his abdomen while he did it. Palming over her back, Joel stretched his fingers out when he reached her bottom to squeeze firmly in over it. “Y’know…it’s a shame you don’t think you’re naughty. Cus’ I was kinda hoping you would be my dirty girl for a while.”

“I’ll be as dirty as you want me to be,” she purred out, turning in toward Joel to bring their lips together in another fervent kiss. Sucking faintly at his bottom lip gifted her with a deep rumble of a groan that had her blood boiling with the desire she had for this man. “You have no idea how hot this is making me that you are doing this here…”

“You like doing things in public?” Joel slurred, his tongue faintly dragging out to draw a line over the front of her lips. Smirking, his eyelids grew heavy with want and he swallowed down hard. “How good is your poker face?”

“My poker face?” she cried out with Joel’s hand palming in over her bottom pulling her in closer to him. Enthusiastically kissing him again, she sank her fingers into his hair and arched her hips in closer to his getting him to wince against her lips. “Why?”

“I’d love to see you squirm on my cock in front of everyone,” Joel declared, nipping at her bottom lip before sucking tenderly at it. Just hearing him say something like that had her heart hammering inside of her chest. “We can get you to wear a skirt. Come here tomorrow. Sit at the corner booth. Have you sit on my lap…”

“Yeah?” she whined as Joel hooked his hand in under her thigh to lift her leg allowing him to press in closer to her. A firm roll of his hips against her provoked a loud gasp from her. Hooking her arm around his shoulders tighter allowed him to bury his nose in against the side of her neck.

“I’ll wear nothing underneath my jeans. When you’re comfortable, I’ll push your panties aside, undo my jeans and have you slide down onto my cock,” Joel continued in his thick, southern drawl with his kisses hot and wet against the side of her neck. “And you wouldn’t be allowed to move. You’d just have to sit there with my hard cock inside of you with everyone else around us. With how the back corner is, no one would see. Could you handle something like that?”

Hell, it didn’t matter if that was something she had never done. The idea of it alone had a warmth rushing to her core at the thought.

“Is that something you’d want to do?” she whined with Joel’s hips bucking up against hers again causing a moan to build up inside of her.

“Yes ma’am,” Joel growled, with her nibbling at his bottom lip. Every part of him felt like it was on fire with the way that she looked at him. He wouldn’t usually do something like this with someone. Especially someone he only knew for such a short time, but he was finding himself addicted to this whole thing. Tugging firmly at his messy hair with her free hand, she gave him a desperate nod. “Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow,” she agreed, her body numb with how much she wanted Joel. Everything about him had her nerves in a frenzy with her heart hammering away inside of her chest. “It’ll be hard for you not to move though. I’m very tight. You’ll have just as much trouble not making a sound.”

“Well then you’re just going to ache mighty bad,” Joel growled, pressing his forehead to hers with her dragging her hands down over the center of his chest. Lifting one of his hands, he curled his fingers around her neck giving it the faintest of squeezes. “Because my cock is big, and it’s pretty thick. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Maybe you should let me have some kind of a hint,” she cooed out, dropping her hands down to fumble with Joel’s belt working to get it open. But in her haste she was having more trouble with it than she would have liked. Chuckling against her lips had her whimpering out again. Gifting her with another kiss, he moaned himself when she sucked faintly at his tongue. Getting the belt apart, she started working open the button and the zipper in his jeans drawing forth a groan from Joel. “Maybe it’s time I showed you just how good my blowjob really is.”

“Maybe it is,” Joel agreed with her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. Stroking her hands down in over the sides of his face, Joel gazed over his shoulder and adjusted his positioning before her. Working with the material of his pants, Joel saw the hunger in her eyes and it sent an ache right to his growing erection.

Curling his fingers tighter around her neck, Joel hissed out when she lowered down before him. Swallowing down hard, Joel kept his dark eyes hooked on hers with her reaching up to start palming in over the front of his pants. Moaning out, Joel tipped his head back and winced with the restriction his jeans and his boxers still had over his hardening manhood.

Lifting up on her knees, she pushed with one of her hands at the bottom of his shirt to lift it up enough to start pressing wet kisses against the area right under his navel. Tiny nibbles led to another deep rumble of a moan with Joel bracing his feet firmly. Tugging at the material of Joel’s jeans managed to get them down enough in the front for her to lean into press a kiss against his length through the material of his boxers. It had him bracing his arm against the wall with his head leaning forward. Closing his eyes, even that fueled him more than he expected it to.

“Let’s see if your mouth is as good as your hands,” Joel growled having her tip her head back to stare up at him with big eyes. Dragging his thumb across her bottom lip had her taking it between her lips. Sucking faintly at him had his breathing growing louder, his head tipping back with the way one of her hands palmed and caressed over his cock through the material of his boxers. A raspy moan escaped his throat with him tugging back on her hair getting her to pull her mouth away from his thumb with a wet sound. “Okay, go ahead…”

There was a rush of excitement flooding through his veins with her looking drunk off him as she leaned in again to press a kiss at the outline of the tip of his cock through his boxers. Licking his lips, Joel stroked at the back of her head while she loosely hooked her fingers into the waistband of the material. 

“Joel,” a voice called out causing Joel to tense up with him looking back over his shoulder to see that Tommy was walking down the hallway toward them. It had Joel immediately reaching down swiftly trying to pull Y/N up to her feet. When Tommy realized what was happening, he made a strange sound with him turning on his heel. “Jesus Joel! She’s giving you a blowjob in the middle of the bar?”

“She’s not…” Joel’s voice was rasp while he worked to get his pants back in over his body. Struggling to get his belt back together, Joel turned in front of Y/N knowing that she was undoubtedly embarrassed with Tommy finding them like that. “Well…not yet.”

Tommy remained facing the other way and there was a heat flooding into Joel’s face. Gazing back at Y/N he could tell by the color in her cheeks that she couldn’t believe that happened either, “Tommy? What do you want?”

“Can I suggest you two go back to the inn if that’s what you’re trying to do?” Tommy commented, stealing a quick look back at them thankful that Joel had buckled his belt and pants back together. “The police here would love to make an example of you…”

“What do you want Tommy?” Joel stressed his question feeling his heart pounding inside of his body, leaving a severe ache at his temple. Right now? His body was so incredibly worked up that it hurt more than he cared to admit to have his jeans zipped up like they were.

“Maria didn’t see you and she wanted to know if the two of you left without saying goodbye,” Tommy explained to Joel who cussed something under his breath. Why did they have to watch him like he was a fucking baby and they were his babysitters? “I can tell her that the two of you decided to go back to the inn if you’d like. We both would understand.”

“The moment is kind of over,” she spoke up with a pant and it frustrated Joel to know that his brother interrupted something that they had going and building between them. Stepping aside, Joel looked upon her with his dark eyes as she fanned her face. “I could use some water.”

“Okay,” Joel agreed, holding his hand out for her to go ahead back to the table that Maria and Tommy were at previously. Looking down, Joel did his best to reach down to adjust himself with Tommy groaning out in disgust. “I could use some ice.”

“Hey,” Tommy reached for Joel, grabbing his arm before he could follow Y/N out into the main part of the bar. “Do you really think after everything she just told you that it’s a good idea to have things start off like that?”

“Like what?” Joel huffed, his brow line creasing with him staring out at his little brother. Right now he felt lightheaded with things and the last place he wanted to be with an erection still was near his little brother. “She wasn’t doin’ nothin’ she didn’t want to be.”

“I think this is a girl you might want to make love to Joel,” Tommy suggested with Joel chuckling and rolling his eyes that Tommy would even say something like that. “She’s broken. I don’t think the first thing you should be having her do is give you a blowjob in the middle of a bar.”

“I’m not taking sex advice from my little brother,” Joel asserted, patting Tommy firmly at the center of his chest. Groaning out, Tommy obviously didn’t like how rough Joel was with him as Joel moved around Tommy to go back into the main part of the bar. Heading to the table, Joel winced when he took a seat at the constrictive material of his jeans clinging to his body.

“Are you two okay?” Maria confirmed with them realizing that they both had a bit of color to them. Joel looked to Y/N who slowly nodded and Joel mirrored her movements. By the way they were panting, they weren’t hiding things too well. “Where’d you run off to?”

“We needed some air,” Joel lied to Maria, tapping his fingers against the top of the table. Part of him wished that he could convince Y/N to take him back to the inn where they could finish things off because he was physically aching. Truthfully? Joel couldn’t remember the last time he actually fooled around with someone other than his last girlfriend he had. And that was a very long time ago. His hand had pretty much become his only source of relief when it came to things, so his body was furious with him. “But now we’re back, so there is that.”

Sitting down uncomfortably, Tommy stared out at the both of them with an awkward expression. None of them were talking and Maria easily picked up on it. Clearing his throat, Joel looked to Maria who had a ginger ale in front of her that she was spinning a straw in.

“Tell you what Maria? I haven’t seen you with a drink all night,” Joel recalled throughout the night she was always drinking either water or a soda. Usually she would enjoy herself a little bit throughout the night, so he was surprised to see that. “You not in the mood for a beer tonight?”

That question led to an even more deafening silence. Maria looked to Tommy who shook his head and swallowed down hard. With their eyes something seemed to be going on between them. An unspoken conversation that both Y/N and Joel were noticing, “Is something wrong?”

“No Joel, we just…we learned something today,” Maria started, and in that moment? Tommy looked like he was ready to throw up. Covering Tommy’s hand with hers, Maria seemed to squeeze at Tommy’s fingers with a reassuring grasp. “I hadn’t been feeling great over the last few weeks and I decided to look into it. And I found out today that I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”

“We weren’t planning on telling anyone,” Tommy was quick to explain, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat with him shakily brushing his free hand through his long hair to slick it back. “Not until after Christmas. We wanted it to be a surprise so people could enjoy the holidays.”

“Oh hey,” Y/N smiled brightly, reaching out to give Maria’s shoulder a soft squeeze. “That’s awesome you two! Congrats!”

“Thank you,” they both spoke with Tommy seemingly more nervous than Maria. Instead of responding, Joel looked angry with his jaw flexing. His dark eyes narrowed and his breathing had grown louder.

“Say congrats Joel,” she nudged Joel in the ribs faintly having Joel wince and huff out loudly. Dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip, Joel looked down and forced himself to look away from them. “Joel?”

“Congrats,” Joel muttered still keeping his stare away from both Tommy and Maria only repeating what Y/N had told him to do in the moment. In her opinion? He had only done it to appease her. Which shocked her since Tommy and Joel seemed incredibly close.

Realizing that there was some serious tension amongst the table, Y/N could tell by Tommy’s expression that he was disappointed in Joel’s response to Maria being pregnant. Trying to think quickly, she cleared her throat and offered up a big smile, “Do you know how far along you are?”

“Not yet,” Maria answered with a shake of her head, her free hand lowering down to place in over her lower abdomen. “Today we just did a bunch of at home tests that confirmed it. I made an appointment with the doctor after Christmas to find out.”

“That’s amazing. Good for you,” she was surprised that Joel had completely shut down hearing that he was about to be an uncle. Right now she was at a loss for things to say. Especially since this should have been Joel’s job. Even though she had been around these people a bit since being here, she had only known these people a few days. “I bet you’re real excited.”

“Real excited,” Tommy stressed the words, his hands placing out in over the center of the table obviously trying to get Joel to look at him. Tipping his head back, Joel looked toward another area of the bar and folded his arms out in front of his chest. It didn’t take a genius to see that Tommy wanted his brother to respond in a way that most brothers would. “It’ll be nice to have a kid around.”

A tiny laugh escaped Joel’s throat and he shook his head, “Real nice.”

“Well I’m so glad we told you Joel,” Tommy sounded angry, but Maria was quick to hush him, her hand caressing in over his shoulder to calm him down. Swiftly turning his head, Joel’s brown eyes seemed furious with his little brother. “Maybe act like my big brother for just a second…”

Hearing the song changing in the background, Y/N was going to attempt to do her best to stop the oncoming fight that she could see coming between Joel and Tommy a mile away. Pressing her hand in over Joel’s chest and up over the side of Joel’s neck, she got Joel to look at her and felt the tension beneath her fingertips. By her touch, she was attempting to calm him, caressing at the side of his face. Nodding over toward the dance floor area, she knew it may be rude but figured it was for the best, “Joel, do you want to dance? I like this song.”

“No,” Joel was short in the way he answered her, lifting his hand to hook his fingers around her wrist to pull her hand away from his face. Stealing a quick look back at the dance floor, Joel saw the other people there having fun and laughing which only seemed to make him angrier. “Yesterday was a fluke. I don’t dance. It’s not for me.” 

“Oh,” she paused starting to feel completely out of place. Maria had gone silent. If anything? Maria was pissed off at Joel’s response. Tommy was hurt by Joel’s response and it didn’t seem like Joel gave a shit at all. This was something she knew nothing about. “Okay. Maybe I should leave? Give you three some time to talk.”

“I’ll walk you back,” Joel stood up from his seat reaching for his jacket to put it on. Hell, he didn’t even bother to look at Tommy nor Maria when Y/N slowly stood up from the seat. Reaching for Y/N’s jacket, Joel helped lead her arms into it and pulled it up over her shoulders. When they were ready to leave, Joel shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. Giving a nod, it looked like Joel wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Instead he lowered his head and let out a frustrated breath. “Goodnight.”

Leaving Y/N at the table, Joel headed back toward the door to leave. Standing before Tommy and Maria, she didn’t know what to say. If Joel was her boyfriend, she would apologize, but she didn’t even know what was going on enough to say something for Joel, “I really am happy for the two of you. This is something great.”

“Thank you Y/N,” Maria breathed, with a tired smile and now things were starting to make sense why Tommy had invited her earlier instead of allowing Maria to go snowmobiling with them.

“And thank you for being so kind to me tonight,” she spoke quietly, pointing toward the door that Joel had obviously already stepped out of because she could no longer see him. “I’m very thankful that you took me today and that you have been so nice about my past. A lot of people would have felt uncomfortable, but you two have been amazing to me. So thank you for not judging me and for being understanding.”

“As we all told you earlier, none of what happened was your fault Y/N,” Tommy stood up from the table and moved around to give her a quick hug. Suddenly it all made sense to her why Tommy had that nervous energy. Why he was drinking and why he was doing his best to make tonight a positive one. Squeezing her in his arms, Tommy sighed loudly and nodded toward the door. “Have a good night’s rest.”

Right now it felt like she should have said something more, but she didn’t. Leaving, she was embarrassed and she didn’t understand why. She hardly knew these people, but something felt wrong. A few feet away from the door Joel was standing outside quietly waiting for her. The streets were empty and it had started snowing pretty heavily while they were inside the bar.

“It’s snowing,” she pointed up toward the sky with Joel lazily lifting his head up. Nodding his head about, Joel shifted on his feet and sighed loudly. “A lot.”

“Yeah, that usually happens at night here around Christmas,” Joel commented, visibly not in the mood to really small talk with her. Walking side by side with Joel back to the inn, she felt like this wasn’t at all the man that she had been with all day.

“Listen, I know it’s none of my business,” she took a while to gain the strength to say anything at all since she didn’t know how to take what just happened.

“You’re right. It’s none of your business,” Joel stressed to her, looking to her with a firm expression. It had her throat going dry with her realizing that she was stepping out of line with her thinking that she could have any say in what was going on with his family. “You’re not part of my family, so you really don’t have to say anything at all.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” she agreed with him knowing that was his way of telling her that he didn’t want to hear whatever she was going to try to say to him. Instead of focusing on that moment, she reached out to brush some of his hair behind his ear but he was eager to pull his head back and away from her. “Sorry.”

Another round of silence surrounded them and she hated the way that this felt, “So do you at all miss the no snow down in Texas. I imagine that coming from a place like Texas to coming here is a big change. It’s hard for me with coming from New York. So a Texas guy? That had to be rough.”

“It snowed sometimes in Texas. I think it averaged like an inch of snow a year, but it still snowed,” Joel seemed short with his answer still not bothering to look over at her while he spoke about his home state.

“How much does it average here?” she questioned with Joel’s eyebrows bouncing up. Looking to her for a moment, Joel shrugged and cleared his throat.

“In the four hundreds, closer to the five,” Joel alerted her getting to laugh at how much the difference was between the two. Having her laughing about it provoked him to smirk and shake his head. “So yeah. Sometimes I miss the lack of snow. Especially since I walk in this shit all the time.”

“I can imagine,” she admitted, moving in closer to Joel while they walked together. Sliding her fingers down the length of his arm, she gently hooked her fingers with his. At first, he didn’t return the gesture. But when she went to pull them away, she could feel them hooking loosely with hers. “Thank you again for today by the way.”

“Why are you thanking me?” Joel didn’t seem to understand with his jaw flexing in discomfort. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You did. You let me come with you and your brother on that adventure which was really cool. You saved me when I crashed,” she listed off the things that he had done for her, her fingers grasping firmer to his. “And then when I told you about my past, you were very kind to me. You didn’t run away like some people might have.”

“Yeah,” Joel didn’t say much, just kept looking ahead toward the inn on their walk. Truthfully, she wished he would have said something more since that was a big moment for her. She didn’t usually tell people about her past, so the fact he blew it off that easily hurt a small bit. Then again, he did just react very poorly to hearing that his brother was going to be a father. When they got to the inn, he released her hand and stepped away from her. Pushing his hands into his pockets, he looked toward the door. “Have a good night.”

“Hey,” she called out to him when Joel started to walk away. Stopping in his tracks, Joel turned to face her with her pointing up toward the holly that was hanging over her head. Looking up, Joel felt his throat going dry looking at it. “Can we pretend that tonight this holly is still mistletoe and we can share another kiss?”

Thinking about the offer, Joel stepped forward toward her having a small amount of excitement flood her veins. Meeting Joel under the holly, she reached up to brace her hands in over Joel’s chest with him staring down at her. Tipping up on her toes, she expected Joel’s lips to collide with hers, but instead when she went to kiss him, he turned his head and had her kiss him on the cheek.

Stepping back and away from her, Joel’s breathing was louder and he looked upset. Standing there in silence, she felt her throat tightening up. How was she supposed to respond to something like that?

“So,” she spoke quietly since he had just denied her kiss so blatantly. “Do you want to come up to the room again? It doesn’t have to be anything naughty.” Realizing that might have been something that Joel would have preferred, she shrugged her shoulders and got him to look at her again. “Unless you want it to be.”

Joel scoffed, muttering something under his breath that was barely audible. Everything felt like it was spinning around her and she knew that she was desperate to still spend time with him, “We can just spend some time watching classic Christmas movies together? Get a blanket, sit on the couch together and watch television. Maybe after we can cuddle again. Truthfully last night was the best sleep I’ve had in years. Being in your arms…”

“What happened last night was a mistake,” Joel interrupted her with venom in his tone having her words come to a quick stop. There was more color beyond what was there from the coldness of the air surrounding them flooding into her face. “You don’t even know me. We’re strangers and what happened shouldn’t have happened.”

“A mistake?” she reiterated surprised to hear him say that after everything. With how hopeful he was this morning meeting her at the bottom of the stairs, she didn’t think he would change his mind this fast. “I don’t know, I thought today was really nice.”

“I’m just incredibly fucking horny and you’re the first person to throw yourself at me,” Joel acknowledged with a disappointed breath, looking down at the ground in frustration. Kicking his foot at the ground, Joel started sounding like the man she had talked to the first night. “I haven’t had sex in so very long that I confused my want to come as something more with you.”

“I just…” she began again, but he held his hands up to stop her before she could say anything more. “Joel?”

“I’m not the thing that is going to save you Y/N,” Joel declared, the lines in his forehead growing and the Joel that she had first met was now a spitting image of the man before her. The man that had opened up to her and showed her a different kind of man was gone. Instead he looked angry and frustrated with her. “I know you came here looking for something to give your life meaning and you think that somehow I’m that. But? I’m not!”

Hearing that left her with an ache that surprised her since Joel was using her words that she had said earlier to him and the other two against her, “That’s what you took from what I said earlier?”

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Joel moved in closer to her, his head tipping to the side searching for some kind of answer from her. When she didn’t answer him, he nodded his head about. “I’m a man that just met you. And I didn’t even like you at first Y/N. Thirty-six hours ago I couldn’t stand you. And suddenly you are looking at me like we have something important going on here. You are just some random girl that came to my town because she was miserable and ended up getting a room at my inn. You aren’t important to me, do you understand that?”

Biting down on her bottom lip, she nodded her head knowing whatever happened between Tommy and Joel back there had to be big for him to severely erupt on her like this, “I understand.”

“Don’t,” Joel warned her realizing that she looked like she was about to get emotional. “No, you see you’re a random person that I shouldn’t have even met. I have my own responsibilities Y/N. I have a life here and I can’t be responsible for fixing you when I can barely even fix myself. Did you think the two of us were just going to have this amazing romance while you were here? That it would be short lived until you decided to get back on a plane and go home when you felt like it had been a good enough time away from your real life?”

“I don’t know,” she was starting to feel small with the way that Joel was talking down to her.

“I just wanted to fuck you,” Joel asserted, his head shaking when he closed the distance between the two of them. “But not because I liked you, but because I was desperate. We weren’t going to fall in love and have some kind of long-distance romance between us. Because that? That’s unrealistic. Relationships barely work as it is, so a long distance one? That has absolutely zero chance of making it.”

Going silent, she wasn’t even sure what to say at this point with Joel starting to pace, “And another thing Y/N. You are so sure and so insistent that you are good at sex, but if you were really as good as you thought you were, your boyfriend would have never dumped you honey. I promise you that.”

“Ouch,” she chuckled at the personal attack he gave her and she nodded her head slowly. “I guess you’ll never know.”

“I could be wrong,” Joel pointed toward his chest, shaking his head about as he stood before her. “But I highly doubt that. Because most men will put up with a lot in order to get laid. Especially if the sex is as good as you say it is. Then again, there is that chance he just got sick of you being so overbearing. Which I could easily see.”

“And now we’re back to the personal attacks,” she exhaled loudly noticing that the Joel she had experienced over the last twenty-four hours was completely gone and the cold, angry Joel she had first met had fully returned. “It’s sad you’re going back to this Joel. I thought we had a really nice day today.”

“I’m not emotionally capable of being the thing that you need in your life,” Joel claimed, a sense of anger flooding throughout his entire body. “I don’t make people’s lives better Y/N, I poison them. The quicker you learn that? The better things will be.”

There was a broken sound that escaped Joel and it seemed like he was about to get emotional, but he held it back and turned away from her. Stepping forward, she tried to reach out to touch him and comfort him starting to think this was an emotional outburst for something that he needed someone to be there for him for. But once she touched him, he pulled away from her like her touch was fire.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered, feeling unexpectedly sad about Joel’s response that he had toward her.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Joel scoffed, heading in the other direction leaving her standing outside of the inn alone.

With Joel so far in the distance, it left her with more questions about everything than having any answers. All she knew? That interaction surprisingly hurt. And it hurt a lot.

----

Tags: @jdmorganz @carolineesnell @ayumi-wolf @dilfsandmartinis @christinamadsen

@brittmb115 @thegirlwiththemostcake3

[kkcauseway]

Time Is Of The Essence

Joel Miller x pregnant f!reader

Summary: Joel's on a patrol when you go into labour and ends up missing the birth of his daughter. But it doesn't take him long to get back and the aftermath is so frigin cute! Content/warnings: aftermath of childbirth- talks of placenta. Its just full of a load of rootin' tootin' fluff- honestly I'm obsessed with daddy Joel Miller he's adorable. Joel being the best dad to his new baby. Joel having such big palms that the baby basically fits in one. After outbreak, no use of y/n. A/N: I am obsessed with this fic oh my god!!! Also fun fact when i decided on the baby name I wasn't originally going to go for it but when I googled names meaning hope it was the first to appear and I knew it was a sign, and really I think it makes the fic ten times cuter! I really really hope you enjoy!!

Going into labour whilst Joel is out on patrol is the last thing that’s supposed to happen. He’s not meant to miss the birth of his child; part of the reason he is the man he is today. Part of the reason he’s finally stopped beating himself up and allowed himself to have a ‘normal’ life. To be happy. He deserves it too and you’ve always made sure he knows it.

They’d already been out on patrol for a while when your waters suddenly broke and as much as you tried radioing it was to no avail, they were too far out to catch a signal, so it was very much a waiting game. Thankfully, you had Maria at your side, and she aided you through every part, the best kind of birthing partner with her having not long gone through it when she had her and Tommy’s son.

The baby comes fast all in all your labour is maybe only four hours, and when word finally got to Joel that he needed to come back him, and Tommy raced to make it.

Joel rushes in the door “I’m here I’m here!” He screams running over to where you’re lay on the couch still with your legs apart the baby screaming in your arms freshly wrapped having only been on the earth a few minutes. Sweat is dripping down your face as you coo at the bundle, Maria is behind you peering at the baby over your shoulder.

You’re still crying reeling from the fact your baby is finally here as you grin so wide at him, and he kneels on the floor next to you.

“Oh my god” he lifts his hand to brush over his new babies head.

“Daddy, meet your daughter.”

“S’a girl?” He chokes on the words and turns to look at you his eyes glossy.

“Yeah baby.” You nod trying your best to hold it back.

But when a few tears escape him, you can’t help the way you’re bawling again. You know how difficult this is for him, opening his heart up to another child.

You continue to support your daughter in one arm bringing the hand of the other up to brush away the tears and he closes his eyes leaning into the touch as he lets the floodgates fully open. Not a care in the world that Tommy and Maria are present. He leans in close to your chest tears dropping off the tip of his nose as he stares down at the now calm bundle of joy who’s freshly opening her eyes and staring right back up to him. Her tiny feet kicking out of the end of the blanket and he’s absolutely enthralled with her.

The nurse, Cassie who’s just finished sanitising a few things in the kitchen comes back and smiles noticing everyone here.

She moves back over to you leaning over the back of the couch to peer down at your daughter. “Congratulations she’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you” you reply in unison.

“Okay sweetie I just need to make sure everything’s okay with you and that this placenta is coming okay. You gonna be okay for me to check?”

“Honestly I couldn’t care less what you do right now she’s here.” You chuckle not taking your eyes off your content little bundle.

“She’s here” Joel adds kissing at your temple, before staring back down at her as she pushes out her little tongue. Her piercing blue eyes explore her surroundings.

“Take her” you whisper to him, your temples touching as you stare down at her.

“Yeah?” He pulls away to look at you.

“Yeah, baby she’s yours too.” You chuckle.

He smiles as he pulls slightly away from you, jumping slightly when you wince. “Okay?”

“Yeah, just a cramp.” You groan.

“Just your placenta on its way honey nothing to worry about” Cassie looks up from between your blanket covered legs.

“Why don’t you do some skin-on-skin Joel?” She adds before getting back to business

He seems shy, but nods. “Oh yeah, good idea.” He rips his shift over his head that will never get old and then carefully takes his daughter from you. Helping to cover your chest back up with the blanket in the process so you’re decent. He’s so careful in how he holds her and how he moves with her over to the armchair. He sits himself back puts his legs up on the footrest and carefully manoeuvres her to be laid against him. Head resting to one side, she snuggles into his warmth.

He bends his neck down to kiss the top of her head as you watch the most beautiful moment unfold. It completely distracts you from the cramping and uncomfortable feeling of delivering your placenta and before you know it, it’s over.

“You’re the perfect patient” Cassie utters as she wraps the placenta into a bunch of newspaper ready to take to the greenhouses to use as a fertiliser. “No stitches, no complications and you’re both doing perfectly.”

“She’s perfect.” He utters kissing her head again.

She stands helping you to carefully lay your legs flat on the couch to get more comfortable. She claps her hands together as she basks in how much love there is in the room. “Well I think my work here is done, if you need anything in the night give me a shout but I think you’ve got enough help round here that I won’t be needed.” She looks around the room to Joel, Tommy, and Maria.

“Thank you for everything Cassie.” You call to her.

“My pleasure.”

“Thank you for all you did and helpin’ her when I weren’t here Cass.” Joel utters from his chair his eyes still on your daughter.

“Of course.”

“Here I’ll show you out.” Tommy utters moving to place a hand on her back once she’s collected her things.

“Do you want me to cook you something, you hungry?” Maria quizzes.

You groan in absolute delight. “Fuck yes please Maria, I think I love you forever.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Honestly Maria I don’t care, everything you make is so good.”

She chuckles, “okay fine I’ll get to it. Joel, you want anything?”

“M’good here thanks.” He utters stroking at his daughters back.

She chuckles noticing Tommy making his way back and drags him along with her once she moves to the kitchen. You can tell he’s not happy about being stripped away from his newborn niece but at the same time you are grateful for having a little time to bask in all of this just the three of you.

Watching the love of your life become a father really is the most precious thing, this isn’t his first rodeo, but you know it’s different this time. Every detail of his behaviour towards her is beautiful. His need to hold her tight, to make sure she’s warm, happy, and content.

The room is silent as he tickles at her back her entire body seemingly fitting in his large palm. You listen in tune to her coos as he continues to stroke her.

However, it doesn’t take long till she begins getting grouchy clearly hungry. So Joel carefully stands with her in his arms and brings her back over to you. “Lil miss is definitely hungry.”

“Seems that way” you chuckle. “Will you get her a diaper too? Otherwise I don’t see this ending well.”

“Sure. Want me to quickly do that first?”

“Please. Think there’s an outfit on the changing table for her too.”

He nods. “Of course ma’am.” And he walks to the changing table ever so gently placing her down before placing one onto her tiny body.

“Baby she’s so darn small.”

“I know.”

He mumbles to her softly as he dresses her in a tiny pink outfit fit with mittens to stop her scratching herself. Thankfully, he’s able to keep her calm the entire time but as if she knows all that needs to be done has been done, she begins screaming again.

“Okay baby come on.” He murmurs as he places her against his chest, chin resting against his shoulder as her body curls into a tiny ball.

So beautiful.

He’s quick to come back over to you and hands her to you. “Good ol’ set of lungs on her.”

“She has us as her parents I don’t know why you’d expect her to be anything other than loud.” You chuckle as you move the blanket back off your chest to place her comfortably at your breast. She’s already fishing around for the nipple as you bring her closer and once, she gets it into her mouth she instantly suckles.

It hurts, of course it does, this is the first ever time your body has done anything like this. And it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You, okay?” He quizzes from beside you.

“Yeah, I promise it’s just a bit weird.”

“Will get easier every time baby.”

“It’s worth it for her I don’t mind” you smile at him before turning your attention back to your daughter drinking as though she’s desperate.

He follows your gaze and gently brushes a knuckle over her cheek. “She needs a name.”

You hum “yeah, she does.” And that’s when you get the best idea in your head “you pick.”

That stops him in his tracks and his eyes shoot up to yours. “Me?”

“Yeah baby, give her a name you know Sarah would love for her little sister, a name that makes you happy.”

He nods his eyes glossy once more as he contemplates the reminder of his loss whilst also basking in the presence of his new hope, fresh start.

He looks back at her and you can’t help watching the struggle on his face as he fusses over again whilst thinking, but you notice the exact moment he decides.

“Ellie, cus she brought this big bright shinin’ light into our lives.”

Ellie Miller, it’s perfect.

“It’s so perfect baby I love it.” He looks up at you and smiles moving to kiss you.

“Thank you f’givin’ her to me.” He whispers as he moves to rest his forehead against yours “thank you so fuckin’ much baby.”

“You don’t ever have to thank me, Joel Miller. I love you.”

“I love you so much I think m’gonna burst.” He chuckles “fuck what are you doin’ t’me?” he pulls away to wipe at a few more tears and then his attention is right back on his girl.

His beautiful healthy baby girl.

[blackberrydeer]

[bumblepony]

Tommy & Maria Ponies

I am so delighted to share this picture with the world. Tommy and Maria as Ponies was done by the amazing @arrgh-whatever, who also made my Joel and Ellie Ponies. Seriously, every detail is just perfect, and I love how much emotion the artist was able to portray in these characters. I look at them, and I see Tommy and Maria Miller.

[missmarveledsblog]

ITS A START part one

summary : when joel is settling into life in jackson there's one thing that has his attention , a woman of the name Y/N . The loner who barely spoke to anyone other than his brother til joel and y/n are sent to find supplies he soon finds out the reason why the girls quiet as he tries to break down the walls she built so long .

warnings: mentions of death of family and children ( readers brother and joel's daughter) , animals being eating since its the apocalypse , pain and sadness but some happy tones in there too . Mention of domestic violence too so

Coming to jackson was never meant to be anything but temporary of course everything changes nothing is set in stone in a world that fell to pieces one day . it wasn't suppose to be long and yet it dawning on two years since ellie and he arrived in jackson . it had what he needed the rest be dammed , his brother was here , ellie had stability something that the girl never had before , it was like everything in the damned town amazed her but then again most of the kids or young folk were amazed at things from the past if it seemed new. It seemed like jackson had it all , community , security and god damn it was he too old to be kept on the damn road yeah jackson was the end stop to plant roots and live it out til the day he took his last breath .

what joel didn't expect jackson to have was Y/N . She arrived a little before joel and ellie , she kept to herself most times hell knows what the woman had seen or had to do but he knew it wasn't pretty , he knew that look one of a person forced to do the unthinkable just to keep going. She kept quiet maybe she was still not trusting of it all he couldn't blame her hell he had his reservations. He watched her eyes observing everything around her waiting for it to go bad at some stage and little by little she relaxed yet still kept herself to herself and it wasn't for lack of trying hell every single man in town had tried to chance their arm with the woman which he couldn't blame them she was a pretty one he couldn't deny it. But she was too closed off only ones that could get her to talk was tommy and maria and even at that it was short and to the point.

He was surprise one morning to find her and tommy standing on his doorstep , confusion didn't last long when tommy explain she would be joining joel as he went on a scavenge hunt looking for things the towns folk were low of .

" you know how use a gun and knife" he asked expecting the usual nod or shake of her head when people talked to her.

" yes sir" he was surprise to hear how soft her voice was , how sweet the tone it help in those two words.

" well i'll meet you in the stables in twenty minutes don't keep me waiting" he said wondering would she speak but it went back to the gestures of answers . " go get ready i'll see you then" he said before heading into his house nearly running into ellie on his way .

" i guess i'm staying with tommy and maria huh" she asked.

" Yeah, so keep the language to a minimum. we don't need that baby coming out swearing like a sailor," he teased, shooting her a little smile . " work a miracle and get the pretty one to crack her shell because that will be day i stop fucking swearing old man" she snorted heading into the kitchen ready to tease the old man make sure get some extra shots for the road too . he never took it to heart it was just here being a teenager, which was all he wanted for her now . Packing the small bag of things he would need he dropped ellie off at his brothers before heading to the stable not seeing her outside , he headed in thinking he'd get the horses ready so they could just go but what he didn't expect was the quiet woman had same idea both horses ready and the ones he would of choose at first.

" Ready," he asked .

" yes sir" she said again bit louder.

" call me joel," he simple said as they took off heading to a town not so far away maybe a day trip so it wasn't too much for the woman's first outing .

" we'll ride for couple of hours there's a cabin couple hours away stop for the night check around for some deer or something then hit the town first thing in morning" he explained.

" why not get the deer on way back meat would be fresher" she asked .

" or we could do that" he chuckled shaking his head.

" is it a list sort of thing or grab whatever available sort of thing" she asked again that damn voice calling him like a siren to a sea , how the hell could something as simple as a voice effect him so much maybe he been out of the game to long yeah that was it .

" grab whatever is well not broken beyond compare but the likes of medical supplies shit like that is always needed" he said taking the lead as the two looked for the nearest town or maybe the next one to that .

It was still daylight thankfully when they arrived in the town , it was completely void of anything that would be considered life . seemed a complete ghost town not even an infected about although it was never completely ruled out. They tied up the horse before setting off he notice her movement got more quiet but yet still efficient like this part she was born for and maybe she was granted she was probably twenty years younger then him . she probably was only a baby when this whole world went to shit which was sad kids now and young adult such as the one at his side never knowing what it was like before all the infected business like what it was like to go out with friends to the mall or movies or nightlife of dancing at clubs and bars it was simple things but they were missed by alot of the older folk . each house had barely anything few clothes that could be fixed up for the younger folk. One house they came to she took the upper level while he checked out the lower floor. He'd have to give it to her she move silently but when he was searching through a kitchen he noticed it was too quiet something that about that sent him into gear almost taking the steps two at a time.

Only to stop seeing her standing holding a blanket in her hands looking completely broken til she noticed him instantly that wall came up and she was almost emotionless again shoving the blanket into her bag and continuing the search pretend he didn't catch her in a moment of weakness , maybe it reminded her of life at some point but he wasn't going to push not now anyway instead silently he came to her side and looked with her , no words exchanged as the two set about there business.

The haul was surprisingly good they found shit ton of things that the town folk would appreciate even a couple of good sewing kits although she kept one and he was keeping the other not that he knew how to sew but couldn't be that hard . last house was all the needed to check and then it was it he took the top floor as she took the lower both taking turns even though it wasn't planned it worked well . what he didn't expect was as he searched the bathroom , a small smile on his face as he found a first aid kit fully stocked it was like finding gold as he added it to the bag . then he heard it that noise everyone dreaded when he looked up seeing the infecteds reflection in the small broken mirror . he went to turned as it dove at him , he felt like it was the end knowing this was it , this was going to be the last breath he drew but even in that sentiment he was going to go down fighting kicking and scratching if needed. He was ready to give it all he got only for a knife to be drove into the sweet spot instantly killing the fungus riddled bastard as it fell she stood calm as a peach pulling the knife out of the skull and wiping it clean on ratted up shower curtain .

" you good" she asked slight pant to her voice.

" yeah i'm good lets go before more come" he said only to earn a nod of agreement pulling the bags they walked quietly but fast towards the unharmed animals and setting off to the cabin needing some form of rest. He almost died nearly let an infected take him, and yet he was still standing all because the silent beauty was there . they barely spoke, scoping the place out wasn't only the infected you needed to be wary of, but the coast was clear , the area was empty bar some deer prints they could check out in the morning. Like it was second nature, she checked around the cabin before setting her things do, n grabbing some wood for the fire and grabbing some food they found . he barely registered his own voice as the words came from his mouth .

" thanks back there woulda been goner if it ain't been for you" he said almost gruff whisper.

" you woulda done same fer me" she shrugged.

" still a girl in jackson would be grateful" he couldn't help smile as he said it.

" well i'm glad i could save her daddy nothing worse losing family" she said so sadly .

" she not my daughter i'm just looking out for her , she alone needs some guidance is all" he explained.

" ellie right , nah that's your daughter you look at her like she is doesn't take blood to be family as much as people might think" she shook her head and he could of sworn he'd seen her mouth twitch up maybe for a second but he saw it.

" good she has you , worlds shit enough without trying to navigate it alone that's for sure" she added.

" you know i think this most i've heard you speak hell i think today is first time i've heard your voice" he chuckled .

" i guess being alone for so long you forget how to talk sometimes" she nodded.

" well you should get to know the folk of jackson, there good people and won't be so lonely" .

" lonely don't get you hurt" she said easily.

" the blanket earlier remind you of someone" he asked seeing it peak out of her bag.

" my little brother , he was four when he died , happiest little boy just full of life could make you forget the shit going on in the word , raiders came to my families camp wanted everything we had , my daddy gave it to them then they wanted me well my daddy shot the man that grabbed me quicker that you could draw a breath it all happened so fast bullets fly , lucas got scared went to run to my mama and she ran to him telling him get down then they were both down not moving , the only thing that made the world seem like it was ok was gone my daddy lost it seeing them like that he began shooting hitting them all only as he went to check on my mama, one wasn't as dead as he thought shot him i didn't even think i just picked that gun up and shot then i was alone all my world was gone in an instant maybe if i went with them he'd be alive now" said softly her voice cracking ever so slightly as her hand felt the material . " i've been alone ever since twenty plus years of living on this planet and i ain't never wanna feel that kind of pain again" she not daring to look up at the man .

" you must of been young yourself men like that are animals could of done all sorts" joel tried to reason yet he was more shocked she opened up. " i was fourteen i could of handled , then I thought I was safe , he made me feel safe but like most it was a trap , called his wife , you believe that way he treated me wasn't how man should treat his wife , my daddy showed me how from way he loved my mama been alone ever since " she said finally looking up . " well now you ain't got to , look i know what ever you had to do wasn't pretty i know that more than anyone i lost family but i also got family and wise person told me it don't take blood to make one" he winked .

" well they weren't my blood my real folks died and they took me in ,they were my family" she sniffled hating she was letting herself be so vulnerable how the hell was this man able to crack the what she though was indestructible walls so easily .

" come ere" he said softly watching her fighting on whether or not to take that step let herself to let someone in or not and yet she did she was tired of being the one that picked herself up even if it was just that night well she was going to let someone in. she slowly crawled into his arms letting it all out ten years of emotions spilled out of her the moment his arms wrapped around her. She must of cried herself to sleep because she woke during the night seeing herself still in joel's arms the man as rubbing her head and telling her

" i got ya " , " let it out". Letting the man sleep she pulled out of his arms letting the man rest as she sat in the stool near the door watching out for any sign of a threat that could be lurking in the darkness .

That was exactly how he found her eyes watching at the sun began to rise . " why didn't ya wake me" he said voice lace with sleep as he stretched his aching muscle out.

" ain't nothing i can sleep when i get back , you looked deep in sleep plus that snoring had to make sure you didn't lure the infected here" she said heading off to the back where the back room was could of sworn there was a playful lilt to her voice .

shaking his head he grabbed his water bottle and small pot to began making much needed breakfast a little proud of getting her to open up and from how hard she was crying it was like she needed it . When she walked out she seemed less tense , less tightly wound up like before .

" breakfast then we hunt that deer" he said nodding for her to take a seat.

" i brought coffee" she said pulling the small bag of it out of her bag.

" the most important thing in the morning" he joked and she actually laughed it was low but he heard it.

" you think that deer is still around" she asked seemly wanting to try the whole talking thing more .

" he's a round some where close if not sure rabbits and stuff are around" he said pulling two cups from his bag .

" whats the worse animal you've eaten" she asked getting set on her task.

" hmm id say cat" he winced remember it wasn't a great moment .

" i'd say rat"she chuckled again bit loud be if it wasn't the sounds of an angel he wasn't sure what was.

" rat ain't bad not much to em" he said.

" my daddy said he ate a hamster before said it worst thing he's ever eat although bless the man couldn't cook for shit" she shook her head smiling .

" how long where you with them" .

" oh since a baby , my birth mama was dying and she asked them take me , they could of said yes and just left me but they didn't , raised me as i was there own same with lucas was like the same thing all that history repeating itself sort of thing they didn't even think twice and took him" she said voice cracking .

" i know what it's like to lose family , i lost my daughter sarah , died in my arms just as the world was falling , it never leaves you and i did what you done i never let myself get close but that ain't living either hell she'd give me hell for doing it" he said his own voice wavering but if she could bare that part of herself well he could do the same.

" i'm guessing ellie didn't give you much choice did she" she asked smiling more that was his new favourite thing about it all was her smile .

" no she didn't , got mouth of her too i mean she would put a sailor to shame" . " come on lets eat and get that deer i doubt there's hamster about" he joked as he began plating up the food as the two made small talk learning little things about each other , joel would tell her about life before infected and she would tell him places she'd been seemly all over the continent the sad part was she was alone through it all dealing with things no one should at such a young age with the hands of a monster .

They followed the tracks , again quiet as she walked both hiding behind a tree , the deer indeed had not strayed too far . he held up his rifle ready to shot until the deer headed off running and they heard them coming . least three voices getting louder and louder as the hide out of view .

she was pale , he could see fear in her eyes she though it was history repeating itself , god she was idiot for letting him get close and now it was going to be all over. They spotted them coming closer she went to move towards joel only for a hand to pull her away.

" well look what we have here" the man snickered looked down her frame hungrily .

" let her go and be on your way" he almost growled the other two held out their knife .

" or we take her and not kill you" the man pulled her harder to his chest smelling her hair making her body cringe.

" joel" she said softly telling him what she wanted to tell her father all those years ago he could see it in her eyes . " can take care of yourself" he said almost telling her to look past that fear and thankfully she did pulling the blade from her belt and holding it to the man's crown jewel.

" i wouldn't move if i was you i got ammo and she got him by the balls" he said holding the rifle up at the men.

" how about you turn your asses around and go back where you came" she said pushed the tip hard as if pierced through his jeans yet didn't touch anything.

" KEEP YOUR CRAZY BITCH" The man gulped pushing her forward out of his grasp only for her to pull the pistol from joel's belt.

"Says the scum that sniffling my hair drop your weapons and fuck off" she yelled.

" aint gonna use that princess" which was perfect timing for her to spot something fussy as she took the shot sending the men running .

" i got dinner" was all she said walking and picking up the now dead rabbit.

" you were going to let them take you" he growled.

" i would of gotten away" she said .

" well you ain't alone anymore so i ain't leaving if trouble come you got me .. im your friend " he said heading back in the direction of the cabin .

" they would of attacked you" she said getting annoyed.

" i got a gun" he said. But she stayed silent holding out his gun for him to take it back slight guilty seeing he was hurt she was gonna let them take her but she didn't want the first friend she's had to get hurt because of her.

" truce i don't have the social awareness to deal with an argument" she asked being honest but it did make him laugh.

" enough to crack joke next time no being alone no more , you got me now" he said taking the gun.

" do i have a choice" she asked trying to not smile .

"no come on that gun shot might attract infected" he nodded as two headed back to the cabin packing up their things and heading back.

Tommy opened the gate as they headed in following the two to the stables ready to help with the suppile .

" what you get" he asked as they tied up the horses she handed over the bag of thing as well as the rabbit that was still dripping of blood.

" wait here" joel took the blanket out and handed it to her clean hand .

" really" she asked .

" really take it , she good out there saved my ass a couple of times" he said turning to tommy . " doesn't shut up talking though" he added .

" says the one what is it with you millers and talking so much i swear y'all could talk for texas" she called over her shoulder as tommy's jaw dropped in shock .

" i'll be damn she's cracking joke i think that loudest i've heard her voice what hell you do out there" he turned to his brother.

" didn't give her choice i mean she aint gonna be social butterfly with but it's a start" he chuckled heading out to his own house leaving his brother stunned completely at the even thought little but major interaction from the towns two most social awkward people .

" it a start" the younger miller chuckled to himself wondering where this was heading but boy was he excited to see it unfold because it a start of something .

Part two

[chronicallyonlinewriter]

Stand On the Rock.

And don’t tell me no!

I have given you so many snips at this point that you've read most of what I've written, haha. Stand on the Rock is a slice-of-life one-shot that takes place in my People Still Listen to Fleetwood Mac in the Apocalypse series. I gave Tommy and Maria three kids in that universe (one biological child, and two older children they eventually adopt) but those stories aren't really about them, so I never really got to flesh them out the way I wanted. The story really ended up growing as I got into it, so we actually get a glimpse of how Tommy and Maria begin seeing each other, and then fast-forward into them trying to deal with the fact that the children in their house now outnumber them. Have a tiny snip:

“One dance – then I’ll fuck off,” Tommy promised, covertly wiping his palms against his jeans and then extending a hand out to her. Maria didn’t reply for a solid few seconds, and it was an eerie thing to be on the receiving end of such an intense gaze. The weight of her stare pinned him into place, a laser that felt likely to bore right through him – but she took his hand anyway; lightly, hesitantly, as though she was afraid she was condoning something wicked if she at all squeezed his fingers or showed any enthusiasm whatsoever about what she was currently instructing her body to do. 

“That a promise?” she asked, and he snorted, drawing her a little closer, taking a chance to slip his arm around her waist – and this resulted in a rather withering look, certainly, but after a quick scan around the room confirmed many other dance partners in similar poses, she seemed to relax a little, the tension slowly seeping out of her shoulders. She settled into his hold, if not with enthusiasm then at least with a grudging acceptance.

“I’ll getcha it in writing,” he said with a nod, and she choked back a laugh. For a wonderful few moments, she allowed him to lead her; they swayed with the crowd, following the melody of a vaguely familiar country ballad that Tommy thought he’d last heard in an Austin dive bar, but wasn’t entirely sure. And it was easy – easy to lead, to keep his arm wrapped around her waist, to try to pretend as though he’d ever been this nervous at any point in his life that did not involve him aiming a gun at someone. “So,” he said finally, slowly turning on the spot, apparently determined to immediately ruin this, “Jay, huh?”

“Oh, here we go,” she sighed. 

“Nice guy,” he said, “but don’t you think he might be a little…I dunno…young, for you?”

“Is this how you flirt?” Her voice held an edge to it – he grinned anyway. “By telling women they’re too old for their dance partners?”

“Nothin’ to do with you,” he reasoned, and he took a step back from her, quickly, lifting her arm – and though she was surprised by it, she followed his lead, allowing him to spin her. When they came back together, it was with a laugh that she tried and failed to hide. “Just him. Don’t get me wrong – Jay’s a nice fella. Real nice – but, do I really gotta say it?”

“Say what?” she asked coolly.

“C’mon, now,” Tommy huffed, “you know what I mean. That one – he’s a boy. You don’t need that. You need –”

“So help me,” she warned, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, “if you finish that sentence with ‘a man,’ I’m leaving.”

[mariatesstruther]

just a reminder yall that buying the tlou 2 remaster AND STREAMING SEASON 2 is supporting neil, which is supporting israel and its genocide against palestinians!

i love the tlou world as much as anyone else, but financially diverting away from anyone/thing/company supporting israel is one of the simplest and easiest ways palestinians have asked us to help. i hope we all consider boycotting the remaster and pirating s2

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: A chat with a stranger has your world turning on its axis as you try to navigate your relationship with Joel.

Warnings: Violence, mentions of SA (not depicted in detail) Language, death.

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Part / Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Useless. It was a certain funny feeling that had always lurked at the back of your mind. 

Everything that’d ever happened to you, be it falling off your bike and scraping your knees or screwing up your relationship with Joel, you were utterly useless. 

Even now as you stared at the clinic doors you felt it. Useless. Worthless. Empty. 

“Y’okay?” 

“Fine.” 

Joel led the way into the clinic. Down a hall, a right, then a left, and then the wood of an old door was staring back at you. 

“Dr. Hill said she was real hostile to Tommy last night.” Joel says softly, “I’ll be right outside if something goes wrong.” 

You nod and take a deep breath. Pushing the door open to reveal the woman that had become the talk of the town. 

The woman was still tied to the small cot the clinic room held. Both skinny arms were tied to one of the bedposts with a piece of rope. 

“Get out.” She hisses, refusing to look at you 

Your eyes sweep over what isn’t being obscured by the blankets that cover her lower half. Long arms poke out of the paper-thin hospital gown Dr. Hill must’ve given her. Discolored bruises litter the skin making it look ugly and thin. Her face, which should’ve had the youthful glow of a woman in her mid-twenties, was gaunt and grey with sickness. 

“Dr. Hill said she was runnin’ a real bad fever, don’t get too close to her in case she’s contagious.”

 

Joel’s warning filled your mind as you gestured to a seat about five feet away from the bed, 

“Mind if I sit?” 

The woman, Lana, didn’t speak or make a motion to stop you as you settled into the stiff wooden chair, a small oof leaving your lips when one of your knees popped, you were feeling your 44 years of life right now. 

Lana watches you cautiously. If she were untied, you’re sure she might bolt for the door and sprint out of the clinic. She reminded you of a skittish deer. The look on her face was one you knew well. It was a look you’d worn for weeks so many years ago, one that only one man could pull from a woman. 

Adam. The joining link between the two of you. Even now, a day after his death you shiver like he’s here in the room, staring at you. If you squint hard enough you might see his face painted on the wall, looking at you with that lopsided smirk he often wore when things went his way. 

You wondered how long she’d spent with him. Was it more time than you? Less? How did he treat her? Did he pretend to save her from his comrades? Was The Walrus still breathing somewhere on this Earth? 

The scars that hide under your shirt threaten to burn right through the warm fabric. A sweat breaks out on your skin. Fuck, this was ridiculous. You wanted to leave and go home. 

You take a deep breath, you don’t want to do this. Talking to this stranger, what good could you possibly do? You were always screwing up, why should this be any different? 

You sit in silence, staring at the way the paint is peeling on the wall across from you. Perhaps you could just lie to Dr. Hill and say this lady rejected you too. The older doc wasn’t even here, how would he know if you didn’t try to “connect” with Lana? 

“Who’re you?” 

Lana makes the first move, breaking the silence that you’d been plotting to keep. 

You blink dumbly, you hadn’t expected this. Stuttering out your name you look at her. She has bright blue eyes with tangled blonde hair to match. Long lashes flutter as she stares back, saying her own name quietly. 

“What happened to the man with the mustache?” 

Tommy. He was probably currently across the clinic probably cooing at his new baby and helping Maria wobble her way to the bathroom. 

“He’s not important right now.” You say, deciding not to tell her about something she didn’t need to know. 

She scoffs, shifting beneath her blankets, “So are you the boss then? Sent him in first to get information from me?” 

Your face remains neutral, in what world would you be running Jackson? Surely she didn’t think you were that kind of person. 

“No. I’m not the boss. There isn’t actually one person in charge here at all.” You say 

She shakes her head in disbelief, “There is always someone in charge. Just let me meet him.”  

You explain how Jackson functions to her, its council, how you all share things with each other, trading amongst yourselves. Lana listens intently, you can tell she's impressed by the picture you paint in her head. 

“How do I know you’re not lying?” She asks warily

“You don’t.” You respond, “Just have to trust me.” 

Her gaze drops to her lap and winces when her wrists twist a bit in her binds. 

“Trusting people is dangerous.” 

You nod in agreement, you know that the last time you’d fully trusted a stranger you’d left with more trauma than you could carry. 

“Alright,” you say, “I’ve shared with you, and now I want you to answer some of my questions. Then, if I think you won’t run off, I’ll untie you.” 

She looks at you tentatively, her eyes brimming with apprehension as you ask your first question, 

“What were you doing with Adam?” 

The door to the exam room slams open. Joel jumps as you pace over to where he’d dozed off on a bench in the hallway. Your worried expression makes him panic as he gets to his feet. What had happened? 

“What’s wrong? She hurt you?” Joel asks, his eyes scanning for any injuries 

You shake your head, pulling away from him when he steps closer to you. 

“Where’s Tommy?” 

“With Maria. Said somethin’ about learning to swaddle his kid, why?”

You turn on your heel, legs propelling you towards the direction of Maria’s room. Joel scampers after you, his knees popping when he matches your frantic pace. 

“Slow down.” He huffs, “Tell me what’s goin’ on.” 

Your warpath continues as you reach Maria’s room, your hand lands on the handle and Joel grabs your upper arm, turning you to face him, 

“What’s happening?” He asks he needs to know before you go in there to his brother.

Your mouth gapes as the door opens anyway, a disgruntled Tommy standing in the doorway. 

“Babies sleeping, you two are loud.” 

Perhaps Joel should care more about waking his new niece, but all he wanted was for you to tell him what the hell was going on. What had you so panicked you looked like you might throw up? 

“Tommy,” Your eyes tear away from Joels, “Tommy, we need to get every person who can shoot up on the walls.” 

“What? What’d the girl say?” Tommy asks, disgruntled as he pulls the door shut, shielding Maria from whatever is coming next.

Joel worriedly looks at you, your chest rises and falls as you take a deep breath, eyes still fixed on his brother. 

“Joel and I, we killed the man who came in with her.” 

Tommy’s head swivels to look at Joel, anger settles on his features as he opens his mouth to discipline his older brother. 

“What? Joel, we talked about this, you can’t just kill-” 

“Would you let me finish?” You huff

Joel shoots his little brother a look, he has no fucking idea what Adam had done, who was Tommy to tell him who he could and couldn’t kill? At this point, Joel would gladly kill Adam a thousand times over and it still wouldn’t be enough revenge for what he’d done to you.

“They’re raiders. Well, he was. Adam, he and Lana were sent out to scope Jackson out. Lana’s from a group they killed months ago. She’s…She was his…” 

Joel watches as your voice dies in your throat. Your hands nervously twist together as you stammer over what you’re trying to say. 

Lana was you. Adam had apparently made it a habit to torture and assault the women he came across. Joel felt anger flash through his system. That fucker hadn’t deserved the bullet you put in his skull. Joel should’ve made it longer, for you, for Lana, for whoever else Adam had hurt over the years. 

“She give you a number? How many are there?” Tommy asks, clearly understanding what you’re trying to say. 

You shake your head, “I dunno, she said there were at least over 15. She um…spent most of her time with Adam and-” 

The door is pulled open again, and this time Maria stands there, wrapped up in a big fluffy bathrobe, her hair is messily pulled back, eyes are lined with dark bags from her new child. 

“We need more patrol shifts. Wall security needs to be doubled.” She says, “Tommy, I want you to get the council together for me,” She glances at Joel her eyes scanning his form, “Have Joel lead a group with our best shooters out as soon as possible. Make sure they're not coming for us right now.” 

Joel knows he’s always been on thin ice with his sister-in-law. She’s never quite clicked with him yet here she was putting Jackson’s safety in his hands. 

He gives her a firm nod, “I’ll get goin’ now.” 

Tommy grabs Joel by the arm, his face is serious, with not a smile in sight. 

“Be careful.” 

He gives his little brother a pat on the back, Joel would be fine. Twenty-one years in the apocalypse, he could handle a few raiders. 

There's a warm breeze as he leaves the clinic. Who were Jackson’s best shooters? Tommy was one but he’d be rallying the council and up on the wall all night. That left him, Brett, that Louis fellow wasn’t half bed either. It’d be better to have at least four though, the more manpower the better. 

“Joel!” 

He turns around to see you, racing out of the clinic to catch up to him. What the hell were you doing now? 

“Let me come.” You demand when you reach him 

“What?” He looks down at you, “No.” 

Your brow furrows in disappointment and Joel sighs deeply. 

“Sweetheart, yesterday, we…”His eyes scan your face, you’re not mentally ready for this he can tell, “Yesterday you handled a big piece of your past. I just don’t think you’re cut out for this.” 

Joel isn’t expecting the slap that comes. His face stings from your palm meeting the skin of his cheek.

“Fuck you.” You scoff, “I’m going.” 

Joel watches as you stomp off towards god knows where. His legs pump after you as you huff when he falls into step with you, grabbing you and pulling you off into a narrow alleyway. 

“Didn’t mean it like that, sweetheart. I just meant that you…maybe you should just stay back, and take some time to think about…” 

He isn’t good at this, giving people advice. He’s better at giving orders and letting them carry them out. 

“Think about what, Joel? About what Adam did to me?” 

You take a step towards him, crowding his personal space. 

“I’ve thought about that for years. Every night I’m terrified he’ll show up and rip me out from under the blankets and get on top of me.” 

Joel feels his heart drop. You’d been living in fear of Adam for so long and here you were trying to go right back out there, closer to the men he worked with. 

“Exactly why I want you to sit this out. It’s going to be dangerous.” He says 

You give Joel a hard shove to the shoulders, and he stumbles back. He couldn’t let you go out there, what if you got hurt or they got overwhelmed and you were captured? What the fuck were you thinking, asking him to just let you out of the safety of Jackson. 

“I need this Joel. Why can’t you see that?” 

Anger boils in his chest. You needed this? What you needed to get shot? Taken by those men again? Turned into a slave for their sick pleasures? 

No. Joel couldn’t let that happen. He hadn’t been there to stop it the first time but he could now. He was going to do what he should’ve twenty years ago, and keep you safe. 

“You need to stay put. Here. Behind the walls where I know you’re safe.” 

“I need this.” You beg, tears in your eyes, your voice a whisper, “Joel please…let me feel useful again. I want to stop them. To stop them from taking another me or another Lana.” 

Joel lets out a deep sigh. He understood where you were coming from but he couldn’t let you come. Beyond the walls was unpredictable, he knew that better than you did. You’d spent years here in Jackson and he’d just walked across the damn country with a teenager. 

Your face is set in a hard stare as you look up at him. He can’t tell what you’re thinking as your mouth opens again, 

“I’ll leave without your blessing, Joel. This is me telling you, I’m going.” 

Joel shakes his head, no you just didn’t get it. 

“I’m going. It’s just a matter of if I’m going with you and your group, or alone.” 

Joel reaches out, his hand shakes a bit as he cups your face. A gentle gesture he remembers you used to relish in so many years ago. In another universe he’s sitting on his couch back in Texas, holding you as you giggle and watch a stupid rom-com with him. Instead, he’s standing here, an old man with hands dipped in the blood of so many as he tries to keep you safe and out of the reach of the monsters of this world. What a horrible hand the world has dealt him. 

Joel thumbs away a tear that hovers on your cheek. You whisper another please to him and his heart squeezes. 

Fine, he’ll let you go. Besides he couldn’t keep you safe if you ran off on your own to hunt these men. At least this way you’d have him at your side. 

“You listen to me out there.” He orders, “You understand? No running off on a revenge path.” 

You nod and sniffle a bit, turning your face to nuzzle closer to his touch. 

Joel leans in, his lips meet the warm skin of your forehead. A kiss brushes the skin of your forehead as he pulls you into what is probably a bone-crushing hug from your point of view. Your voice trickles into his ears again, warm as the spring breeze that floats through the town, 

“Thank you, Joel.” 

Three hours later, you ride out of Jackson. Joel leads you and two other men, Brett and Louis out along the furthest patrol route Jackson’s people watch. You grip Pepper’s reigns tight enough that your knuckles go white. 

Brett and Louis are fine. They’re both decent shots from what you can remember. It helps that they’re both young and filled with muscle. You found yourself wishing you had more mass, bigger biceps, and stronger legs. If you were tackled how long would you be able to survive with a man twice your size above you? Surely if any of these men you were after recognized you, you’d be killed. Not that it bothered you. Death was a much sweeter release than being taken by any of them again. 

Lana had said that there were at least over 15 men in Adam’s group. She said they often split up to do recon and patrol shifts, and that some of them had been close to the dam when she and Adam were “taken” in by Jackson’s patrol unit. 

You wondered who was leading them now. Lana said she spent most of her time with Adam and some other man named Paul. The fact this group had grown so much over the years made you shudder, all you knew was that Adam wasn’t at the head of it. Lana said he often mentioned a boss to her, a man she had never gotten the chance to meet. 

Lucky her.

The sun began to set as Joel suggested that they hole up in an old cabin up ahead. The other two men agreed and before you knew it you were sitting in between Joel and Louis eating a sandwich Ellie had made for you. 

Brett and Louis take the first shift of watch and leave you and Joel in the cabin. A single camping lantern sits on the ground, just barely illuminating the room. 

“You can have the bed. I’ll sleep down here.” Joel gestures to the old couch that had been pushed off to the side of the room after Brett deemed it too moth-ridden to sit on without it falling in on itself. 

You shake your head, he couldn’t stay there. He’d done so much for you, even if his rejection the other day had pissed you off, he deserved a bed. 

“We can share. I don’t mind.” 

Joel, as it turns out, snores. 

Loudly. 

You huff and turn onto your side. You wish you had a pillow to stuff over your head so the sound could be muffled a bit. God, he sounded like a fucking lawnmower. You should’ve just let him have the couch. 

You groan and flop onto your back. It’d been years since you shared a bed with him, if only 35-year-old Joel was here, he wouldn’t snore like this. Sure an occasional snort, and maybe a fart or two but at least he was quiet most of the night. 

“What’s wrong?” Joel mumbles from your right 

“Nothing. Go to bed.” You huff 

A beat of silence, had he gone back to sleep? 

“You’re upset,” Joel says, turning on his side to face you. 

The pale moonlight illuminates him as you turn to look at him in the darkness. You face him, scooching a bit closer so your noses are only inches apart. 

“You snore.” You say 

Joel’s brow knits together in confusion, “No I don’t.” 

“You do. You sound like that lawn mower you used to keep in your garage.” 

“You mean the broken one that smoked when it was turned on?” 

“Yeah.” You huff, “You’re that loud, Joel.” 

He grumbles a sorry and you smile softly. He looks pretty like this, his face illuminated by the moon, and his tired eyes staring into yours. Grey hairs litter his beard as you try to imagine what it might feel like pressed against your face. 

“I feel like Ellie would’ve told me I snored.” Joel thinks out loud 

“She’s clearly trying to spare your feelings.” You grumble, your eyes beginning to droop. 

“She’s a teenager. She wouldn’t spare your feelings even if you were dying.” Joel huffs 

You giggle, how right he is. Ellie was the most judgemental little girl you knew. Even that Dina girl who had once told you your shirt was ugly wasn’t as bad as Ellie.  

Joel throws off an impressive amount of heat as you lie there, fighting your drowsiness. You scoot a bit closer to him, craving the warmth he provides. 

“I liked what happened earlier.” You softly admit when your nose brushes his 

“Hmm?” Joel’s eyes lazily pull back open to look at you.

“In the alley. You give great hugs.” You smile, “They’re real bear hugs.” 

“It’s probably all the extra fat I’ve been lugging around. Y’gotta stop sending me cookies.” Joel sighs, his eyes fluttering shut again. 

You scoff, “Please. You’re anything but fat.” 

He rolls onto his back and Joel’s hand comes up and pats his belly from on top of his shirt. 

“This says otherwise, sweetheart.” 

He can’t see it, but you roll your eyes. 

“Went up a size or two on my belt since gettin’ into Jackson as well.”  

You push yourself up onto your elbows and poke your finger into his cheek. His eyes open again and jealousy twinges in your chest. Why was he blessed with such nice eyelashes. Those should be yours, he had no use for them. 

“There’ll be no body shaming on my watch, Mr. Miller.” 

“You’re makin’ me feel a thousand years old, calling me that.” He mumbles 

“Yeah, yeah.” You brush him off, “Just between you and me, dad bods have always been better than six packs.” 

Joel’s gaze flits over to you and he looks at you a bit incredulously. He must think you’re full of shit. 

“I’m serious.” 

You smile and flop back down, breaking the invisible boundary between the two of you but resting your chin on his chest. Part of your body rests on top of his now and he makes no motion to push you away. It’s a familiar position, one you had enjoyed so many years ago. Perhaps yesterday had just been a fluke. 

Joel huffs a small breath as if he’s saying he doesn’t believe you. 

“I’m going to bed.” You mumble into the soft fabric of his dark blue shirt. 

Joel is quiet, still as a statue under you as your eyes flutter shut. Then, his deep voice fills the room again, 

“I’m sorry. For yesterday. Pushing you away like that…You were hurtin’ and I was…well, I was scared.” 

“It’s alright.” You quietly reply, your finger drawing a circle on his t-shirt-clad chest. 

You don’t know what else to say to him. You knew yesterday had been the wrong move. Trying to get him to sleep with you after everything with Adam. You knew that wasn’t what you wanted. You had just been craving love and acceptance, you wanted to be wanted by someone. 

You wanted Joel to want you. 

Next Part

Yummy fluff. Hehe.

I need to figure out wtf I should name Tommy and Maria's kid. I wonder what HBO is gonna name them.

I can't believe Season Two is confirmed for April.

Season Two spoilers in the next little note:

Ugh, I'm so scared...Joel, STAY AWAY FROM GOLF PLEASE I BEG!!

God, Pedro needs a helmet. First Oberyn Martell and now Joel... :(

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

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[chewbacca]

THE LAST OF US | S01E06 KIN

[becomethesun]

@mote-of-star-dust gave me an early secret santa gift, this absolutely incredible comic of the sweet little Scrabble scene from my fic A Heart, A Hand to Hold Onto. All of the little details are so perfect 🥹 So grateful for the lovely friends this little community has brought into my life!! 💗