#Tommy deserves the world

[nephilimeq]

Oh, Tommy absolutely put Buck on a pedestal! He sees him as this guy who was able to bring home a boyfriend to his friends and nobody questioned it even though he had never dated a guy before. He's dating someone who has a support system around him, the kind that Tommy always wished he could have.

Seeing that support system makes Tommy think that Buck is doing a lot better than he really is, and I think that's also another reason why Tommy felt safe enough to break up with him because Buck has all these friends and family that will rally around him and he'll recover and he'll find someone else. It didn't once occur to him that buck loves Tommy and that he didn't care that Tommy was his first queer relationship, the only thing he cared about was that he was finally in a relationship that he was allowed to be himself in and be accepted.

Every other relationship that Buck has been in he has been treated in an almost childlike manner, being slightly patronized by his partners for his deep research dives and long rambles, versus Tommy who absolutely loved it and indulged him. Buck felt safe!

It's because Buck felt safe that he was able to be himself, and because he was able to be himself Tommy ended up accidentally putting him onto a pedestal thinking that this guy has the best luck in the world even when the crappiest things happened to him, me leaving isn't going to be that big of a problem. Tommy genuinely thinks that buck is too good for him and I just feel so bad for him.

Do you ever think that maybe it was Tommy who put Buck on a pedestal and not the other way around?

I'm pretty sure Buck was aware of what Tommy was like under Gerrard for example. He also knows from his own experience how exhausting and difficult it is to work on yourself. When he said he admired Tommy I'm almost certain he didn't mean "I admire you because you are perfect", but "I admire you because I can only imagine what it must've taken for you to get here." He didn't do a great job communicating his thoughts and feelings, but especially after the Abby reveal he probably knew that Tommy isn't all sugar and spice.

And Tommy on the other hand built Buck up as this sweet, happy-go-lucky person - too good, too pure for this world - who may be incredibly kind but also a little naive and who at the end of the day deserves better than him. But like. Tommy, my guy. Buck also has shit going on and skeletons in his closet. You're not ruining his picture-perfect life by being a human around him.

[theotherbuckley]

I am free

[thatsonehellofahabit]

Tommy is unironically such a badass.

[maybesomethingunusual]

do you ever think about tommy paying for their dinner date or tommy pouring the beer in buck’s glass or tommy gently grabbing buck’s chin or tommy showing up despite him being on-call or tommy’s “i didn’t wanna pressure you” or his “i think you’re adorable” or tommy feeling bad for leaving the party to go to work and immediately promised buck he’ll try his damnest to make it to the wedding or him apologizing for being late to their wedding date even though he has valid reasons or tommy going straight to buck after fighting a beast of a fire still in his turnouts

[tobisaw]

BENREY IN BRIEFCASE BENREY IN BRIEFCASE!1!!1!!

WAHHHHH BENREY IN THE BRIEFCASE ☹️☹️ this was such a pleasure to see in my inbox tysm.. i heart your art and your tommy

communication

[eddiebuckley-diaz]

Tommy saying he has to leave after kissing Buck is something I have to talk about…

Because instead of just saying “yeah gotta go!” and leaving Buck to flounder and worry and feel used, Tommy does the opposite

Tommy wants to stick around, wants to be there, and wants to be with Buck. And he says so by the way he adjusts Buck’s shirt, by maintaining eye contact, explaining it, and Buck isn’t left to spiral right after the kiss.

And after Buck’s little “okay” that still holds a sense of awe and maybe not being super present (which can’t blame him, I mean have you seen Lou), Tommy still assures Buck of his place by asking for a date.

It’s all these things that add up to Tommy making sure Buck is a priority and Tommy will keep that as a promise.

Buck deals with abandonment and not feeling right in the world, and Tommy is there to say “hey, in this world, in my world, you can feel safe and free to be you.”

[imeaniguessthatsfine]

This is the first relationship that Buck is in where they want him for more than just his body.

Look…I keep seeing shit about like…wanting sex scenes and them to fuck nasty…which like there’s a whole rant there alone about fetishizing lgbt/gay men right there. Also I’m fairly certain Lou has certain boundaries about sex scenes, which good for him. And whatever that’s what fanfiction is for, you don’t need sex scenes in shows for it to be good.

But can we also look at it in a different perspective? Yes, Buck is a very sex positive person, however we obviously can’t deny that Buck has a complicated relationship when it comes to sex, and his body.

Is it possible that Buck being in an actual relatively healthy relationship, he can realize and learn the connections he was chasing through sex he can get other ways? That he’s worth more than what he can give with his body?

Yes, we saw a little bit of this concept and conversation with Abby, and like…I know the sperm donor arc felt odd and out of place but when you look at Buck as a whole character and all of his shit? It fits right in. A savior sibling?? Like come on, there’s this very specific underlying theme with Buck and his relationship with his body that doesn’t get talked about enough. Or easily brushed over.

This last episode was a very cute, silly episode. We get to see Tommy attending to him and dotting on him. Yes he’s teasing him and joking around but he’s also listening to him still. He’s letting him go on the research tangents and supporting him and his wild ideas. He’s showing up when so many haven’t shown up for him before.

Also…it’s an early relationship, yes we’re so used to the relationships in this show being such a quick burn, instantaneous thing. But like bro let them build their relationship. They’re cute and Buck is happy.

[titstatstummy]

just thinking about how Buck and Tommy both NEED to be needed constantly.

Evan 'abandonment issues and rejection sensitive dysphoria' Buckley and Tommy 'never truly experienced love and family' Kinard and their constant need to be useful to others in order to not be left behind.

Buck constantly thinking he's being left behind. Him often actually being left behind.

Tommy isolating himself, shielding himself from hurt by not letting anyone in for too long but still coming through every time someone asks for help.

I hope they take good care of each other and heal some of their wounds together.

[tevanbuckley]

I really hope they don’t do the “sorry I don’t want to date the baby gay” thing with buck and tommy. Especially because it doesn’t seem like tommy was out when hen/chim first knew him, so he presumably came out relatively late too.

I just think buck deserves someone willing to be gentle whilst he’s learning about himself. Who tells him it’s okay to flail and feel awkward, that he doesn’t have to act like a life altering bomb didn’t just drop on his head, and that’s it’s normal to feel weird about having to reevaluate your identity as an adult.

[bihoneybee]

buck always was "im here for you" for his exes, but now he has tommy who became "im here for you" for buck. he finally has partner who takes care about him the way he deserves. god i love them sm

[drivebyanon]

I kinda want Tommy to say something sarcastic then have Buck give him that look of 😍 because he finds it adorable and snarky people deserve love too! 😄 (But then Tommy gets all sweet because hard shells have the squishiest centers).

[itsmeyourmentalillness]

The happiest birthday to my absolute favorite man on the entire internet, the funniest person to ever be on YouTube, the literal entire reason I got into Smosh in the first place, serotonin in human form, the amazingly talented, funny, kind, SPECTACULAR

✨️Tommy Bowe✨️!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[hotgirlbedtimescenarios]

Wish

For the first time in years Joel acknowledges his birthday and wishes on a star. He gets pulled into the past and relives his birthday, the day that changed everything.

Words: 1.7k+

Warnings: all of the emotions. Sadness, depression, but also happy moments and hopefulness :)

*part of @burntheedges roll-a-trope challenge*

Main Masterlist

---

September 25, 2033

It’s almost Joel’s birthday. Again.

Over the years, he’d let it pass without thinking about it. Losing track of the days was easy while he roamed, too caught up in trying to survive.

But now, in Jackson, time isn’t as elusive. Joel wakes up knowing that Mondays and Tuesdays are for patrolling, Wednesdays and Thursdays are for guard duty, Fridays are for helping with construction, and the weekends he keeps to himself.

The powers that be in Jackson also keep track of time, mostly for crop rotation and organizing the seasons, giving structure to the lives of its citizens. That means Joel has been aware of his birthday this year, creeping closer and bringing along memories he hates.

This year, he can’t live in blissful ignorance while it comes and goes, especially with Tommy around to remind everyone. So instead, he runs from it.

Joel walks down the soft, snowy streets of Jackson with his camping gear strapped to his back. He told Tommy he was going outside the walls tonight, making up some excuse about scouting a building that might have supplies to scavenge.

It was a lie.

Joel needed space—a place where he could wallow in solitude when the old feelings haunted him as his birthday approached.

With his gathered supplies, Joel mounts his favorite horse and rides out of the commune, waving to Tommy atop the lookout tower.

“See ya when you get back! And happy early birthday, big brother!” Tommy yells down.

Joel winces at the reminder and rides off into the distance.

---

Hours later, Joel makes his way to a familiar spot in the forest, a clearing he often visits while out on runs.

This hidden clearing, nestled deep among the trees and brush, is spacious enough for him to see the stars twinkling overhead while remaining safely concealed from any lurking dangers.

He sits by a small fire, eating his rations and gazing up at the night sky, lost in thought. He reflects on how he ended up here, all that he’s been through and all that he's done, dragging himself deeper and deeper into the pit of despair he so often finds himself drowning in.

Suddenly, something twinkles far above in the night sky, streaking across the tops of the tall oak trees.

A shooting star.

Joel had never seen one before; he had thought they had vanished like so many other pure wonders and good things in the universe. But tonight, he was wrong.

Unable to resist, Joel’s eyes follow the tiny, sparkling fragment as it glides across the sky. In that moment, he decides to be hopeful just one last time. After all, his birthday is approaching. Despite years of loathing it and skipping celebrations, maybe he deserves to make one wish.

As midnight strikes and the star falls, Joel closes his eyes and makes his wish.

He wishes to no longer hate this day. He longs to free himself from the burden of September 26th—the day he was born, but also the day he lost his reason for living, the day he lost Sarah. He wishes the memories of despair would lift from his shoulders, that things could have been different. That he could have cherished just one more birthday before everything fell apart and the world went to shit, giving him more good memories to hold onto and keep him company throughout the years.

When the shooting star fades from view and the sky darkens again, Joel feels a wave of silliness wash over him. Of course, his wish wouldn’t come true. With a sigh, he stamps out the fire, crawls into his sleeping bag, hand resting on his rifle, and drifts off to sleep.

---

September 26th 2003

Joel wakes to the sound of an alarm clock blaring.

He bolts upright, heart racing, and instinctively reaches for his gun—only to find nothing there.

As his vision clears, he realizes he’s not in his sleeping bag anymore. He’s in a bed—his bed—from thirty years ago.

Joel rubs his eyes, blinks, and even pinches himself, trying to shake off the dream, but it feels all too real.

Looking around his old room, everything is just as it was on the last day he lived there: rumpled sheets, a pile of dirty laundry in the corner, an old newspaper, and a glass of water on the bedside table.

It’s as if he’s been transported right back to 2003.

Warily, Joel gets out of bed and notices his joints don’t ache as they should. He races to the mirror attached to his dresser and takes in his features. He looks exactly as he did thirty years ago: fewer lines of age and worry, hair short and dark, no grey in sight, and far more muscular. There isn’t even a scar across his nose or temple.

Joel stares at himself in the mirror, breaths coming rapidly. It’s a dream, he tells himself, repeating it like a mantra.

But what if it isn’t? What if everything is as it’s supposed to be? A redo.

Just then, he hears something he never thought he’d hear again, and it takes all his strength not to fall to his knees.

“Daddy!” Sarah yells, her singsong voice bright and clear, just as he always remembered.

She bursts through his bedroom door, grinning from ear to ear—beautiful, whole, and safe.

“Happy birthday, you old fart!” Sarah teases.

Joel bounds across the room, scooping her into his arms.

“Babygirl,” he chokes back tears, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “You’re okay.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” she replies, her voice muffled against his chest. “Why are you being so weird?”

He doesn’t want to scare her, so he pulls himself together, trying to act like this isn’t the most magnificent moment of his life—a blessing to have another chance with his girl.

Gently, Joel loosens his grip and smiles down at her, cupping her cheeks in his hands.

“I love you so much,” he tells her.

“I love you too, Dad. I wish you didn’t have to work today. Working on your birthday is so lame.”

She’s right. That is lame. So, Joel does what he should have done the first time around: he pulls out his old cellphone and calls his boss to take the day off.

“Does that mean I get to skip school too?” Sarah jokes.

“Well, it’s only fair,” Joel says, a grin spreading across his face.

Sarah’s eyes widen. “Really?!” she squeals, excitement radiating from her.

“Why not?”

---

Joel meets Sarah in the kitchen, and together they spend the morning making pancakes and dancing to their favorite tunes. When Tommy arrives, Joel manages to talk him into skipping work as well.

“Come on, Tommy, you’ve never complained about skipping work before,” Joel teases.

“Fine,” Tommy says, his mouth full of pancake. “But when I’m short on rent this month, I’m counting on you to back me up.”

The three of them enjoy breakfast together, relishing their time as a family.

They spend the day having fun together, going to the park for Sarah to show off her soccer skills, stopping into town for ice cream on the way home, and lounging around on the couch, soaking in the quality time.

They end the day with a movie—a birthday tradition featuring "Curtis and Viper 2." This year, they even have a cake since Joel was able to skip work to pick one up.

With bellies full of sugar, Joel, Tommy, and Sarah are all sleepy-eyed on the couch, watching the end credits roll, when Sarah suddenly perks up.

“Present time!” she cheers, darting to her bedroom. Moments later, she returns with a small box in her hands.

“You got me something?” Joel asks, pretending to be just as surprised as when he first opened his birthday gift.

Sarah hands him the box and settles next to him on the couch. “You kept complaining about your broken watch, so I figured… you know.”

Joel opens the box to reveal the watch he prized above all else. He picks it up delicately, admiring the shine of the silver and the smooth, unbroken glass of the watch face.

“You like it?” Sarah asks, her voice tinged with nerves.

“Honey, this is nice,” Joel replies, tapping the watch. “But I think it’s stuck.”

“What?” Sarah exclaims incredulously. “No way! I just got it fixed—”

Joel bursts into laughter, and Tommy joins in.

“Oh ha ha, you got me,” Sarah concedes, rolling her eyes. “That was lame.”

“Where’d you get the money for this?” Joel asks, placing the watch around his wrist and snapping it into place.

“Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs.”

“Nice, kid. Real proud of you,” Joel laughs, playing along.

“Maybe you can help me out with this month’s rent then,” Tommy jokes from the other end of the couch.

“Thank you, honey,” Joel says, pulling Sarah in for a hug and kissing the top of her head. “I love it.”

Soon after, Sarah falls asleep on the couch, leaving Joel and Tommy some time together. Joel appreciates this; he’s missed his brother, and it weighs on him how their relationship has deteriorated over the years.

“Wanna go out to the bars to celebrate?” Tommy asks after a while.

“Hell no,” Joel replies. “Your ass will end up getting arrested.”

“Not fair! That only happened once!” Tommy whines.

“And it sure as hell will happen again if I don’t keep you in check.”

“Whatever,” Tommy concedes, settling back into the couch and scrolling through TV channels in search of something to watch.

“I’m gonna take her up to bed,” Joel says, nodding toward Sarah before standing and gently scooping her into his arms.

He carries his sleeping daughter to her room one last time, tucking her in with a kiss on the forehead. Instead of leaving, he wants to soak up every moment with her, as if any could be his last. So, Joel kicks off his boots and slides into bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her.

He falls asleep with a full heart and a smile on his face, grateful for the best birthday he’s ever had.

---

September 27th 2033

When he opens his eyes again, Joel wakes up on the cold, hard ground to birds chirping in a forest clearing. He should feel disappointed to be back in the present, but instead, he chooses gratitude. Grateful for the chance to relive the last moments with his daughter. Grateful for a wealth of new memories to carry with him through the years.

He realizes that maybe next year, when his birthday rolls around, he’ll remember the laughter and dancing in the kitchen with Sarah instead of the horrors that have haunted him for so long. The warmth of those moments will be a beacon, guiding him away from despair and toward hope.

With a deep breath, Joel rises to meet the day, ready to embrace whatever comes next.

[nymime]

Kid steve defending his house from two thieves like Kevin in Home Alone.

Nobody believes he defense his house alone and he defeat two thieves when he was 10, until eleven makes some mind shit and they can see steve memories.

Maybe like that fics where they see a characters life and memories, uhh… that would be so much angst.

[not-so-secret-bi-badge-bunny]

These two make my world go round🥰

[diazheartsbuckley]

You just know that Buck is using those big tits as a pillow and he’s never slept better in his life