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jjba-hell · 4 years ago

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Remember the Time...

Ah, a reader-insert? On my blog? It’s more likely than you think...

Definitely a difficult piece for me so it ended up a post-mission, hurt/comfort kinda thing.

A bit more mild with the trigger warnings: alcohol abuse, blood, kinda gory, at home medical procedure, some suggestive conversation, prostitution (mention but not expanded on- yeah I know I should probably get some better mafia entry but I think things might lighten up a bit more in the upcoming pieces) ANGST

We taggin’ @a-nonnie-mousse cuz I know they LOVE this mans (tho I don’t blame ya) Also to @lasquadraweek2020 and @giogio-gucci-gangstar cuz I need to interact more with my mutuals.

Reader is GN! 2,2K words, good luck

You pushed past the entrance to the squad base with a groan. You were actually just after the medical kit Risotto kept in his office so you figured it would be empty but instead Illuso sat like a lazy cat in front the TV with his feet up.

“Well now don’t you look shit.”

You kicked the door shut behind you. “Of all people why did it have to be your turn to keep watch at the base?”

You passed by behind the couch he was sitting as steady as you could but the bullet wound in your side was insisting on some medical attention.

You got into Risotto’s office and ducked into the metal cabinet in the corner for the medical kit. Sitting down on the couch brought another searing sting to your side but you pushed through and peeled your bloody shirt off of your body.

“Care to share how the mission went?” Illuso’s voice rang from where he was leaning against the door frame.

You didn’t bother answering as you pulled on some gloves and doused them in disinfectant.

“Wait, what are you-?”

You went in with your finger after the bullet in your side, trying your best to ignore the pain, clenching your jaw shut at an attempt to hide what you were feeling. Showing any inclination to your pain would just prove the bastard in front of you right- that you were the weak link between them. You had clawed your way up the food chain in Passione only to end up here, Risotto telling you that this was the equivalent of ending up in exile- where they did the dirtiest work for the least amount of money. It annoyed you to no end but you couldn’t think about that way. You needed to push forward, as of now your goal was to compete against Prosciutto for second-in-command of the squad.

“Fuck, could you give me some warning before you start fingering your wound?”

Those words fell from his mouth two seconds before you got a grip on the bullet and with a scowl you looked up at him and brought the bullet out of your side with a sly smirk. “I know my way around fingering holes, LuLu. I could teach you sometime.”

You curled your hand around the bullet before tossing it aside.

Illuso gave a disapproving grimace as he watched the blood splatter from the bullet in a line over the concrete floor between you. “Relax- if it were serious I’d be bleeding out on the floor right now. Why don’t you do me a favor and go get me some booze?”

You had said that as a way of taunting him but Illuso simply straightened from the door frame and moved to Risotto’s desk. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and tossed it between his hands. “I’m not particularly good at fishing foreign objects from flesh but I can staple you shut.” That same smug smirk came back to plague you and for once you could actually laugh at that.

The last mission you Illuso had been on was after a particular plastic surgeon that knew a bit too much about the organization and the drug OD’s on the streets. The two of you were assigned to shut him up real nice.

Illuso had taken it literally with the stitching stapler before you finished him off and disposed of the body. It was sadistic, maybe, but the guy was mouthing off at Illuso in the lobby for a bad jaw job he never had- how do you walk away from that kind of disrespect without some form of punishment?

You finished clearing off the dried blood off of your side before getting up to sit tall on the arm rest of the couch.

Illuso took the stapler and rather knowledgeably disinfected the equipment before gripping your shoulder and looking at you head on. He wasn’t easy to read- it almost looked like what he was asking was more of an afterthought. “Let me know when it feels wrong.”

You were about to make a sarcastic remark but instead decided to brace for impact.

It burnt like hell but it was allot easier than getting stitched up for the little cuts like when Melone did it. It was quick.

Literally three painful staples in your side and he was done- feeling perfectly fine. Or at least so you had thought before the support from Illuso’s hand on your shoulder pulled away and you suddenly felt lightheaded.

You suppose he had taken a hint to your immobilized form on the couch and got more disinfectant and gauze. You let him wrap you up, keeping yourself upright to properly patch you up before he tapped against your injured side as if to signal him being done.

“There.” Was all he said with a stoic expression as he cleaned up the medical supplies.

You took the opportunity to hop off your seat and reach for the bottle to just try and dull the pain.

“Not so hard to take the help offered is it?” Illuso started, that same sarcastic lilt to his voice.

“Oh?” You took a swig straight from the bottle. “That was you offering help?”

You handed the bottle to him to which he reciprocated with a swig himself.

“I’m not hearing a thank you.”

You shrugged, deciding to fuck with him a bit. You stepped up and leaned in- giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for stapling me up, baby.”

Illuso dramatically rolled his eyes at that. “You have been spending way too much time with Formaggio.”

You took the bottle from him and walked out of the room. “I’m too drunk and too tired to drive home so I call the base bed.”

By that you meant the double bed in one of the rooms where the lookout for the night would spend the night.

You moved into the said bedroom and started looking for something else to replace your top- landing on an old band T-shirt.

“Nice choice.” You nearly leapt out of your skin at Illuso’s voice over your shoulder.

“Do you even make a noise when you walk?” You shouted behind you at Illuso’s kneecaps.

“Most of the one-night stands we bring over end up in that shirt in the morning.” He continued as of you didn’t just yell at him. He calmly turned around and walked away. You dropped the dinky shirt and ended up going for the plain purple one- hoping that you wouldn’t hear more history about the shirt you were wearing than absolutely necessary.

You came into the kitchen and found Illuso had left a bowl of pasta on the counter for you and it wasn’t some unexplained mystery how or why.

Now La Squadra, contrary to their profession, was actually a tight-knit group- some of the closest teams you’ve met. So when you came in, it was hard to try and meld into a group you dared say had no room for you but you’d be lying if you said they didn’t do anything to try and integrate you.

Prosciutto would lend you cigarettes or ask you if he should buy you a pack at his next stop, Ghiacchio always offered to give you a ride if you needed to get somewhere, Melone would offer checkups after injuries- granted that came with his lecherous side comments. Formaggio would even ask you for play bets when his game was on but Illuso had seemed indifferent to his teammate’s kindness until now.

You placed the pasta in the microwave with a heavy heart at your mistreatment of the whole team up until this point. You weren’t exactly doing anything to return their kindness.

So you brought the pasta bowl with you to sit beside Illuso as he stretched his feet onto the coffee table.

“Thanks for the pasta.” Was all you said as you sat cross-legged beside him.

“Don’t get used to it- that was my dinner scraps.”

Deflecting the thank you, should have known directly wasn’t the way to go.

So you didn’t bother saying anything else in favor of eating. Finished with dinner, you stretched out the same as him. “The bed’s yours.” Was all you said.

Illuso chuckled. “You’re easy to read, you know that?”

You didn’t react. It was a known fact that you flubbed like a fish when you didn’t know what to say or think.

“Listen, I’m a nice guy. Most of us do expect reciprocation but that doesn’t mean anything serious right now. I’d rather ask how you’re not used to this kind of treatment.”

You turned to him. “What do you mean and why?”

“You’re telling me you’re not used to the whole ‘newbie’ treatment?”

You scoffed, “Newbie meant getting life three times harder than necessary, not easier- you guys really are making a weird like that... Besides, why do you care?”

Illuso turned to you this time, that smirk on his face. “I deal with information. Recon and shit.” His face slowly soured into a scowl. “But since I landed on this team the rest of Passione had been closed off from me.”

You reached over to the forgotten vodka bottle on the table, sitting back and flicking the cap off. “Let’s talk then.”

You took two swigs per question, starting with: “Well then how did you end up here?”

Illuso laughed with his bottom lip against the vodka bottle. “I fucked a capo’s daughter.”

You laughed with your head back. “Figure’d you’d get here by being sleazy. But how’d you get caught?”

“Uh uh uh uh!” He took his two swigs then handed the bottle back to you. “You gotta answer a question for me first.”

You took it reluctantly, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Now you tell me how you got here.”

You didn’t exactly have an answer for that, but recently you had developed a theory. “I think I rose the ranks too quick- I was aiming at getting into Unita Speciale but that squad needs to be personally approved by the boss.”

You took to swigs and gave the bottle back- the quick succession of drinking started to make your mouth a bit more loose.

“So how’d your dumbass get caught?” You asked Illuso as he took his two swigs.

“Bitch drugged me when she found out I was fucking her friend. Got my ass handed to me halfway through the mirror- literally.”

The image of Illuso’s butt naked ass hanging out of a mirror in an attempt to get away made you snicker. “That’s too bad.”

This time you took the bottle yourself and waited for the question.

He cleared his throat and looked at you head on. “Do you ever wish you never got into this shit?”

You frowned at him, already feeling shaken by the personal question- should have known he’d want to delve deep while you were too drunk to keep your mouth shut. Didn’t stop you you from bringing the bottle to your lips. “Yeah. Who doesn’t?” You were extra generous with the swigs you were taking before Illuso tipped the bottle back down and took it from you.

“Save some for me you selfish fuck.”

He took his own swig but not nearly as much as you.

You didn’t say anything for a moment as you wondered if you were going to act out on your drunkenness or would you just excuse yourself before things got too personal. Of course your curiosity got the best of you, so with slurred words you asked- “How’d you get into Passione, anyway?”

Illuso gave the bottle a last gulp and without missing a beat answered. “I killed the bastard that was sleeping with my partner. Didn’t know however, that their murdered side piece was part of a gang. So when you have a on your tail and you’re too much of a coward to face them yourself, you run to Passion for protection. And you end up like me.”

You gave a satisfied hum and got up. You fucked up and you knew it- now he was going to ask you how you ended up in Passione.

“Where are you going?”

“The vodka is done and so am I.” You lied.

"Like fuck you are.” Illuso stumbled after you but once he was up he was much more steady on his feet than you were, trailing behind you as you wobbled through the hallway to the bedroom. He grabbed hold of your shoulders and turned you around- making you grab onto the wall for support.

The two of you, properly saturated with booze, leaned against the wall with your shoulders as you gazed into each other’s eyes. “How did you end up in Passione?”

You were pretty drunk- but not drunk enough to forget the pain that came with that question. The booze only helped to make you more emotional and more likely to spill the beans but you tried to turn around back to your destination once again but he grabbed hold of your hand again to stop you in your tracks.

“Pretty please. I spilled my guts now you get to spill yours.”

You balled your fists and tried to say as stable as possible as you turned to look him in the eye. “MY boyfriend had debts to pay to this shithole gang and he sold me as collateral.”

Illuso seemed to process your words and then almost victoriously said. “So THAT’s why you’re so fucking stuck up! The bastard stabbed you in the back, didn’t he?”

The words hit you and in response you pushed him away- it was lucky he was too tall for you to push over in your already weakened state but he did stumble back a few steps. “Fucking prick! Is that all you wanted to know? Why I don’t trust anyone? Why I keep to myself? I didn’t want to have my brains fucked out for the rest of my life so I clawed my way up through the ranks! Only to end up here! Which wouldn’t be so bad ‘cause I thought-“

You clenched your first again and turned around. You’d babbled enough at him.

“Y/n.” Illuso took a few steps closer again, propping himself up against the wall. “You thought what?”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat- might as well finish what you started. “I thought you guys weren’t so bad. You didn’t treat me like an idiot so I figured you must have had some kind of respect for me.”

There was a beat of silence as you two stared each other down- a scowl on each of your faces. Then, rather awkwardly, Illuso’s hand landed on your shoulder again and perhaps it was just because both of you were too far gone to have inhibitions but you moved into his chest, pressing your chin into the nook of his neck- his hand moving up your back to hold you in a strangely comforting hug, Illuso slightly bending down to allow you to let the pain subside into him.

He rubbed over your back softly then spoke against your temple. “I know.”

There was some understanding between the two of you. You quietly separated and he guided you to the bedroom where you ungracefully face planted down in typical drunk fashion onto the bed. Through the pillow on your face you shouted-

“Don’t go.”

You thanked whatever was ruling the universe that he didn’t ask you anything. He tiredly moved away from the door, moving you to make room for himself beside you. He kicked off his shoes and splat down stomach first onto the bed.

He didn’t lull you with lies about being able to trust them. He didn’t reassure you that it was going to get better. But you suppose knowing he understood was all the comfort you needed. As the night passed you over, you woke up with a headache only to see Illuso’s hand cupping yours in the space between you.

So you laid your head back down and slept it off- feeling at ease.

#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #jojo part 5 #jojo golden wind #la squadra #lasquadraweek2020 #Illuso #illuso x reader

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years ago

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your mistake was expecting this fixation to "die out." the trap with kpop is that theyre Constantly Releasing More Content so you're stuck here till they disband, bro. kpops been my longest lasting hyperfixation and it only dimmed down (not even died out) when i doubled my dosage of antidepressants during a mass pandemic and had to violently project onto visual novels so i could Feel Something. as soon as i weaned myself off my meds the kpop brainrot came back Full Force. its been years. ive fully accepted that im never escaping this hell and so should you -felix bi anon

Look I went into this pandemic telling my bestie on the daily "ma'am I am sorry but I am not watching anime and I am not getting into kpop, anything that is even vaguely reminiscent of shit I wouldve gotten beat up for in high school is very much a firm NO from me, also my two fav artists of all time are Lil Kim and Lana Del Rey, I don't think kpop is gonna be my speed at all, it's just not gonna vibe w me okay. And also my Type™ is very much rock dudes who are skinny and pale like they're dying with hella tattoos and an attitude problem, I'm tryna meet a man at the hardcore show, them kpop boys are not the vibe" (OOP it was the western beauty standard brain rot in FULL force bestie 🙊) so like, the fact that I even started to stan skz was 10000% against my will 😂 the part of me that once wanted to work in marketing is absolutely fascinated by the structure of the kpop industry and how insanely effective it is, but I thought I was ABOVE THAT lmfaooooo and NOW LOOK AT HA. CRYING OVER SOME SHORT ASS LIL AUSSIE BOY SINGIN SONGS WHERE I ONLY KNOW ONE OUT OF EVERY 75 WORDS. I WAS TRICKED, I WAS BAMBOOZLED, I WAS HOODWINKED!!!!!!! Also every fuckin time I see some lil kpop boy struttin around bein hella goals I'm like "lemme check somethin real quick, lemme cover my bases," cause I am NOT tryna get bamboozled into stanning another bunch of FETUSES, LITERAL ZYGOTES, and every damn time Google is like "yeh bestie they're all of 21, you're about to go full cougar mode, pump the breaks, back it up bestie, exit the premesis, back away slowly" and so I do cause like yall I aint even old, I'm only 27, but that is On Deaths Door in internet land and I'm not tryna get cancelled, so I physically cannot allow myself to stan any other group lmfao 😂 I have made my peace with skz sneaking into my fuckin heart but NEVER AGAIN. ACTIVATING AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE!!!!!!! I have never been cool a single day in my damn life and I do NOT need to add the stigma of someone I work with catching me doing the full Back Door choreo in my car before I clock in 😂 my high school trauma will not allow it 😂 ain't no room for it, I'm baggin' and taggin' any other groups content and yeeting it 100 miles away from me, my ego can't take it, she's fragile, she can't take criticism, lemme go back to flying completely under the radar with my basic ass self, that's all I ask 😂 I don't need to go back to work and have a FULL mental breakdown on the sales floor because Chan posted a selfie, I don't need to have to try to explain to my coworkers that I need ten minutes to chain smoke and cry over some boy reading comments on a live chat 😂 LET ME OUT OF THIS FIXATION, BRAIN, PLEASE, I AM EXPOSING MYSELF AND SNATCHING MY OWN WIG ON THE DAILY 😂😂😂😂😂

#No but frfr I can't allow myself to enjoy things that other people think aren't cool because the RSD is STROOOONGK in a bitch lmfao #NOT ME GOING OFF MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PANDEMIC OOP #VENLAFAXINE BEGONE YA LIL THOTTIE #WITCHA BRAIN ZAPS N NOT MUCH ELSE #asksteppie #felix-bi-anon

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catnip-smuggler-radio · 5 years ago

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Primal WoD: Tray’ju Estinoch

((Inspired by @eligos-venator tag for WOL prompt. But I went high and left on it toward Darkness since it fits Tray better for....reasons. LOL) Name/Title: Tray’ju Estinoch: The Rhyming Shadow

Phase One:

Music: “Whores and Hounds’ - The Irish Rovers

Arena: In a tavern in Limsa. Phase One is a DPS check: Tray will jump out of the arena onto a second level and begin to smoke. A meter begins to fill as hordes of mobs swarm the Raid in waves at set time intervals. If the mobs are not killed before Tray finishes his smoke and fills the meter, Tray will throw a bomb down and wipe the party. If the mob waves are destroyed before meter fills, Tray leaps down to begin phase two. Party Fails DPS check: “Ye ain’t even worth meh time. Sod off.” Party Passes DPS Check: “Well, looks like dis gonna be more fun den I thought.”

PHASE TWO:

Music: “Rock you like a Hurricane” - The Scorpions

Tray enters the arena and immediately charges one of the healers and stuns them for five seconds. Tray will continue to randomly charge and stun a healer every 20 seconds. Every 45 seconds, Tray will will take an inhale of his pipe and use ‘Moko Smoke Screen’. Smoke Screen will cover a random half of the room. Anyone inside the smoke will have their controls reversed and take Damage over Time until they escape. This effect coats the affected part of the arena for 20 seconds. Quotes: Charging Healer: “Enough of dat!” Blowing smoke: “Ye think ye can win?/ What a joke./ Yer chance for victory/ just went up in smoke.” At 30% health remaining: “Hit meh harder daddy!” At 20% health: “I said harder!” At 10% health: Harder!” When reduced to zero HP: “That was -almost- hard enough.”

PHASE THREE:

Tray falls to his knees as an otherworldly laugh fills the room while shadows wrap around Tray. He rises to his feet, black, oily smoke pouring off his body as his body twists into a sinister form. His health bar re-fills and Phase Three begins as he says: Phase Three Start Quote: “Look at this, Tray all broke/ I salute ye folk/ But my favorite toy is mine alone/ And ye should not play with things ye don’t own/ So I’ll take the reigns from here/ Feel free to piss yerselves in fear.”

Music: Merciless King - God Easter OST

The room grows dark. Main tank will need to tank Tray in center as off tank constantly runs around the edge of the ring, drawing aggro of shadowy forms that crawl out of the darkness. These shadow-things will slowly try to walk towards Tray and must be slain before reaching him or a massive blast damages entire party. Meanwhile, Tray will constantly attack random spots of the arena with small, AOE attacks of shadow blasts that must be avoided. Tray will, every 25 seconds, select a random person, and use ‘Shadow Bind’ which snares them to the ground until an ally damages the chains off and frees them. As Tray’s health drops lower, his damage increases and at 50% he will resume his random healer stun every 30 seconds that last 5 seconds. At 10% health, one shadow creature per party member will appear and try to damage the players. Tray is immune to damage at this time. Tray regains the damage dealt by these shadow things to his health bar. This effect will occur the first 3 times Tray reaches 10% HP but will not on the 4th. Upon defeat, massive, shadowy jaws open beneath Tray and snap him up and he is gone. The Party returns to the tavern and victory is achieved.

Quotes:

Using Shadow Bind: “Dance thy feet no more/ Death is at thy door!” Stunning a Healer: “Just let them fall/ Death claims all!” Reaching 10% Health: “Your blood is true/ Let it flow out of you!” Healing from damage dealt: “A sweet honey thy crimson.” Wiping the Party: “The darkness welcomes you.”

Defeat: “That which is dead can eternal lie, and with long eons even death will die.” UNIQUE DROPS: Tray has a 100% chance to drop one copy of the ‘Smoking Pipe’ emote. (Seriously SE gimmie a pipe emote already! LOL) Tagged (sort of) by @eligos-venator and @miqojak that mentioned it in Discord) Tagging: Anyone who wants too. This is a custom template to the prompt @eligos-venator sent so feel free to us it or the original. XD Also taggin: @afreesworn @cfs-melkire @thatsteagin @ranirus @repose-and-run @fae-fire @ghostiemaiden @jancisstuff @damankjol

#AU prompts #Tray'ju Estinoch #prompts #rp #fun to ponder #put waay more energy into this than expected LOL

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valanthius-xiv · 7 years ago

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E n g a g e

[Ambiance] || 1.occupy, attract, or involve (someone's interest or attention).

Revarik had been settled onto the couch that Defiant Bride had allowed him to utilize with the assistance of his brother in arms, Caelric. The recent retrieval mission of the Glass Network had been successful, but the mode that had to be engaged had started an unfavorable chain reaction. The most notable among them Enambris, but now it was no secret that his kill switch could still be flipped and it altered the tide of morale amongst the leadership. Fortunately, Caelric still knew those codes and managed to salvage the Lion from his initiated state of a Loyalty soldier.

Hours had gone by and all within the refuge that Defiant had allowed him to utilize had been quiet. Food and water had been plentiful. Sleep was a necessity after having siphoned the overwhelming amount of aether from Enambris and utilized to reinforce the last resort in reclaiming Ruka from the clutches of Ana. Although, there was still a loss in Araris and the mind of the former Praefectus weighed in on it.

Flashes of memory erupted like fireworks within the mind of the resting Lion. Everyone was gathered around the table awaiting instruction and orders. A reflection of a time before the commencement of another raid. They mirrored each other to a degree that may have been terrifying to one capable of feeling the emotion of fear. The data downloaded, the protocols set, and the operation was set into motion. The only difference this time was the cookies that Koko attempted to offer to the masses.

Oliver and Serris’s face came into view briefly. Their connection with the Fool’s Covenant had been another solidifying moment of recalling pivotal moments of action. Samara and Ulan were also recent additions and while he attempted to settle his thoughts on their occupying reason within the Network more details were organized for easier access to his cerebral files. It seemed the Network was growing exponentially and expanding their resources.

It was these little pieces of detail within the fragments of his thoughts that was able to separate the two instances most. His awareness of his surroundings replayed moments. Lydia throwing the treat behind her against the wall. The towering Titus and Avidia passing them back and forth to avoid touching them. Some sweeping the baked goods beneath the table and the brave few who did devour them such as Ibahka.

He understood why the Auri woman was so rattled. Ibby had lost an arm, lost a friend, and making deals with devils like the Tooth Fairy did little to settle nerves. It had been necessary with the time frame, but despite Ibahka’s experience and strength, her emotional compromised position made her difficult to predict. Yet, even so, his main focus was on how Astra handled her position and the challenges she was about to endure. If she was to be a leader there were certain aspects of her nature he needed see come to fruition. They still needed to talk and he knew he had answers she sought.

Fast forward in an attempt to keep track of what had happened and when it had all gone dark. Through a wonderland of flesh and unsavory twists of defiled life, the Network marched until they held firm at the offered gate into the next realm to retrieve their comrade, Ruka. Althea was on standby as a healer and charged with her protection was Toshiro. Enambris had authorized that choice, but Revarik recalled not letting the man’s hasty words derail his focus on his primary mission.

Again, another flash occurred. The closeness of Enambris, the sudden rush through the gate, Fabius blowing through the doors, and the addictive feeling of having so much energy and adrenaline rushing through his veins. The battle high he had only encouraged him to completely eradicate Ana’s devotion to shattering the Network in her home. He did not recall what he had said, but he did recall feeling himself up to his neck in a substance he couldn’t break when the Drowned Queen had had enough of his provoking statements.

That had been his purpose for taking a different direction than the main forces, after all. Draw her attention and the second half is where it went wrong. Too long. Time ticked on and he found himself beneath Ana’s heel. The internal scans attempted to recover more bits and pieces to the moment. Flicks of picture caught Enambris being stabbed, Titus being charged by Avidia, the head of Charis being crushed, and the chaos that was following in the wake of the Drowned Queen’s rage.

He should have vacated before that point but one word echoed...

Coward... Coward... COWARD

There were some who already believed him to forsake his people. The Network had already suffered losses and setbacks. He refused to have that title attached to his name and with that prideful behavior he continued to antagonize an entity that could easily have eradicated him. He should have been gone, but he had yet to hear word by the time it was too late to turn back. Thus, if it had been that moment he was to face death... he would have done so gladly, with a smile on his lips, and spit in the eye of the reaper.

But something worse happened...

Phrases that were embedded deep within the engineered male had been the ignition to the gears that suddenly spun to action. Caelric uttered those damnable words and as Revarik tried to process it he was faced with another confliction. He had lost control and Loyalty had been engaged. The immediate threat and preservation of the Network’s General had signaled for every onze of aetheric pressure he had stored to go into overdrive.

Faces of worlds long demolished echoed in his memory, the howls and fearful cries of lands decimated rang loudly, and the murderous visions of kingdoms conquered replayed in a vivid light. This is what he tried to avoid. Loyalty did not let him forget. Loyalty did not let him go. Loyalty was manufactured beneath the flesh and disgust started to rattle within Revarik. The urge to peel his skin off of the bone was strong as he tried to weather through the rush of unfiltered sights and sounds that clouded his mind’s eye.

Modified teeth gritted as he growled and hands clenched strongly to whatever he could grab nearby. The white crown of the Pureblood whipped to the side violently as he arched in his place of rest. More faces began to line his vision for what felt like malms upon malms of expanse. Their names, their families, their lives, their files, and information overloaded the brain’s mainframe-like setup.

Those that served beneath him as Praefectus, those that had fallen in the wake of his orders, and beyond yet to the lives that had been struck down by his decisions for as far back as the man’s mind could recall. Death followed him. It existed within him. It warred with his philosophy and reservations for life. Each time Loyalty was revitalized he was gifted that wretched reminder and each time more were added to the cycle of knowledge of who could have been saved, who could still have been here, and who was responsible for taking that opportunity away.

Wave after wave of unrelenting feelings and repressed emotions bombarded him until he could no longer take remaining still. The Lion staggered to his feet soaked from the sweat that was produced by the impressions of the past. He felt all of their pains, all of their aches, their woes, and their pleas. He had to get some air before he had a meltdown in Defiant’s home. Shirtless, mask left behind, and barefooted without regard to anything else at that stage. He needed a measure of solitude, a measure of stability, and a means to relinquish every bit of that accumulated frustration before he went nuclear. This was a product of Loyalty and the fruits of their war, but all the poor creature wanted... ... was peace.

Story: @givethemtothegallows

PoV: Revarik Valanthius

Mentions: @charm-in-spades // @enambris // @ascalonffxiv // @quick-n-silver // @lizardwaifu // @accaliadecorus ... gonna be here all day taggin’. @bride-and-bride // @titus-kagimake-ffxiv // @el-v-i-s // help a brother out here. @lydia-ffxiv // @olisnark // @polymorphologist // it is very late. Someone tag the rest.

#The Glass Network #E N G A G E #My Writing #Revarik Valanthius #Project: Loyalty

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seeksfortune-blog · 7 years ago

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I’M HAVIN’ FEELS SO HAVE A SUPER LONG META/HEADCANON DUMP ABOUT DIANA’S FAILED FIRST MARRIAGE

— taggin’ @paddyfuck / @spineshattered bc they wanna see it, and i won’t even readmore it because this is important to diana’s character development.

the TL;DR of it all is that jim and diana would have worked REALLY well if the timing was better. that, and they’re like if nathan and elena didn’t work out in the end.

anyways LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. jim and diana met when they were both about seventeen. his father was a fairly high-ranking military officer for the united states, so jim’s family moved around A LOT and they were all over the globe. from when jim ( and later his brother ) was born to when he turned eighteen, he lived in 12 different countries — one of which being scotland. jim went to the same school as diana for a year, and with good reason: it was very expensive, even with the money that his parents had saved AND the stipends they got from the government.

and for that year, diana was the only person that ever really talked to jim or his brother for more than just treating them like a circus sideshow. both of them thought the other was kind of cute, but neither of them really had the guts or the motivation to try dating. he’d only be there for a year at most and they both knew this — but all of this was left unsaid.

they didn’t see each other again until late 2009, on the same expedition that got antonio ( diana’s first REAL love ) killed. the truth behind why diana shacked up with jim was because he came out of the other end of puberty looking amazing, and he showed an interest...which she hadn’t expected. she’s never thought herself very attractive in the first place, so to have someone like THAT find her beautiful seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

they took it way faster than they should have — they were married at the beginning of 2010, which of course should’ve spelled trouble but diana was SURE that she should be marrying him. the fact of the matter was she had just lost the man she would have actually married had he lived long enough and jim made her feel like someone in the world really cared about her ( and he really did and in certain timelines he still does ) and she mistook that as loving him as a person.

six months in, the “just married” charm wore off. and in november of 2011 diana dragged him along on an expedition that he wanted no part of. she begged him to come along and he knew he wouldn’t win, but things were tense the entire time he was around. the beginning of the end was in yemen when he showed concern for her safety and mental health and she MOCKED HIM for it. the actual quotes from each of them are as follows —

J: “you know where ubar is, and they don’t. why can’t that be enough? just...come home.” D: “alright then. nate: tackle me and drag me home or something. anything to get me away from the thing that makes me truly happy in this world.”

so, naturally jim is pissed at this. all he’s trying to do is get her home safe and maybe get her to let go of this fetish for danger she has. he goes home, and for a hot second diana revels in the fact that “the ball and chain’s gone.” that was only just the beginning. there are two different directions for this: with @grandeurrs‘s rafe, diana started having an affair with the latter before the marriage ended; and in the other direction they both came to the understanding that it just...wasn’t working. of course, the second timeline is where my FAVORITE part of their relationship happens.

before reuniting with her, jim did a short stint with the marines which ended with him getting dishonorably discharged for disobeying a direct order. long story short, jim was right, his superior officer was wrong and was knowingly trying to commit a war crime and use jim as his scapegoat. afterward he found that his only career path would be as a mercenary. this was how he and diana crossed paths in 2009: he was one of the mercs that diana’s rival had hired, but seeing as this enemy of hers hadn’t paid jim so much as a penny yet he bailed and joined her instead. after the divorce he got back into that mix and founded his own small merc company, which diana comes across and hires for some protection later on in late 2016. she knew full well who owned it, and in a lapse of judgment she hired them anyway.

which actually wasn’t a terrible idea in this timeline. this time it just WORKS between them. and it’s just that they’ve finally hit a middle ground. she won’t budge on her job, and he’s actually enjoying having his own mercenary company. to make THAT story short too, diana just kinda becomes a groupie and unofficial co-owner for a bit. at least until the two of them decide to try it out again, but WAY SLOWER this time. which works a lot better for them. only rule is that marriage is a no-go at least for a very long time.

i’ll do some smaller posts with small details about their relationship later, but i wanted to get the overall story across.

#( ▩ — headcanon. )#meta tag.#( ▩ — otp: wish i’d held you a bit tighter and kissed you a bit longer. — jim x diana. )#long post //#i'll esp write more Merc Parents™ stuff because that's my favorite part of their relationship.#AND WITH THAT I'LL GO TO BED.

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