#To linger on earth as a ghost instead of going to heaven just cause you want to stay close to a pretty Edwardian twink who is sweet and kind

[cryptiql]

untitled god song

pairing: bakugou/m!reader (trans reader in mind you can see it if you squint but can also be read as cis)

words: 2k

warnings: themes of religious trauma, homophobia, mentions of blood, the author projecting their mommy issues

a/n: this is purely self indulgent, don't mind me 😩✋ (written in first person)

i wish i had known him before the pain started. perhaps it is a fools dream to think that his presence would have solved anything, and it is likely that he might blown me sky high at the time, if given the chance, but i often ponder his place in my narrative. he is nothing less than a king—nay, a god—and what else am i to be except his humble servant, adoring him in the only way i've been taught?

i would bruise my knees as i kneel for him, and should he turn me away, i shall be lost and without purpose. but he does not, and instead, he snorts out a laugh and pulls me to my feet, roughly squeezing my cheeks together with a shit-eating grin. he'll tell me a joke i've heard a thousand times, and yet i laugh with him anyways, the pads of my fingers idly tapping the pulse on his wrists.

"dumbass, at least take me out to dinner first."

i never thought i'd ache to hear such a demeaning nickname, but it's like birdsong to my ears, and i long for the myriad of butterflies it provokes.

i would heed his every word like a faithful disciple, and—if i knew he would not use this power for the wrong reasons—carry it out without question. he'll roll his eyes at the notion, far too prideful at the idea of being praised, and card hands through my hair, gripping softly. "right. and if i told you to go to bed before five in the morning, would you listen?"

my smiles are genuine, as they all are with him.

"no." i wish my mother had been more open-minded; more loving to those she claimed were goners. maybe then, i could still call her my mother, and not a snarled version of her first name steeped in vinegar. maybe she could have met him, and maybe she would have keeled over in the process, but that is how we put it "killing two birds with one stone".

he was a fallen angel if ever i saw one—emblazoned in smog and ravenous inferno, the pieces of child-like innocence turning to ash. something happened to him when he was a kid, just as all gifted children, and oh, what a fool i was to let my gaze dawdle on his gorgeous form. but i will never regret it—no, not ever—for there is no such feeling that can compare to his eyes on mine, burning with a mind-fogging intensity.

it was instantaneous, the moment my thoughts turned on me with malicious intent, her voice ringing out like a gunshot.

you'll never be him.

his hand slots with mine perfectly; deliciously warm and comforting in a way i haven't felt in years; and hauls me up, the flecks of dirt and rubble from the road clinging to my jeans.

"watch it, pretty boy. i won't always be here to save you, y'know."

my heart batters against my ribs like a caged bird, screeching and wailing to be set free, and i wonder in a haze if i've died. judgement day must have come early, i think, not realizing that it was spoken aloud until the blonde quirks a brow inquisitively. he does not speak on the matter, but continues on his merry way, leaving my helpless; hopelessly enamored; and praying that we will meet again.

no, i could never be him. but i am like him. he has a sureness in his walk and fervor in the way he talks that is only recognizable when i look in the mirror. and we do meet again. it is a shame, however, that i must burden him with the weight of my past. i remember too often the troubles of my youth, even when all has passed into fleeting memories that haunt me as ghosts do to an abandoned house. yet, i still live in this house, and the ghosts are here to keep me company.

i remember the church, first and foremost; nestled between the barren country road and the outback; a beacon of hope to all those who stood in its doors. the luster of freshly polished wood still sits in my mind, accompanied by the echoing remnants of dulcet tones and multicolored bands of light, glaring from the stained glass windows and dancing across the musty carpet floor. the doddering pews were just as uncomfortable as the poorly padded chairs squatting in the front row, but every sunday, they were filled to the brim with hungry worshippers. they sang praise as though they were starved, but i was too young to understand for what. i am older now, and i still don't understand. all i know is that despite its reputation, the church was a cursed place, and i should never set foot in it again lest i go mad. i remember the creaking stairs which lead downstairs, and the winding halls that reeked of torment where shadows loomed. the paint was corroding and foul, and my conscious always loitered too long on the merlot stain on the ceiling; its origin unknown, but nevertheless urging my stomach to twist with nausea.

i remember the feeling of tall grass grazing my ankles; itching horribly from the old moth-eaten socks i was forced to wear. it had become second nature—running and hiding from my problems, from the church, from her. i shall never know a greater animosity than the likes that my mother encouraged, although unintentionally, with her pressuring views and sickeningly sweet smile. it's fake, and i would know, because ours are the same.

we are too similar, and i am sickened by the fact. will i become the wretched woman she is? will i fail to be the father i've dreamt of being? it is an easy thing to fall prey to haunting questions, and it serves as brain rot for every moment of silence that leaves me clawing at my skin, trying to reap the memory of her touch. then i began to think—about nothing and everything—and it does not stop. i will be kind; unforgivingly so, and without biased judgement; like my mother never was, and i'll make her hate me for it. i will grow in leaps and bounds, not for her sake or for god's, but for mine, as it always should have been. i will drink and curse with reckless abandon and kiss who i damn well please, because in no life does she have have the power to make me something i'm not. why should i feel sorry when the tears she wept were forged by my own blood; by the childhood memories locked away to rot in my subconscious? yes, she has suffered too, but it is through clenched teeth and raw-bitten lips that i must confess this, for her suffering was born in me and grew from a seedling into a thorned flower, nourished by her hatred and mine. she'll tell me the lie of all mothers before her: that she knows best, and i'll never know joy that is not from my savior's gracious hands.

one day, when she lies not with words but in silence, under worm-filled earth and withering pastures, i'll tell her that she was right. i'll tell her, with his hand in mine, that my savior arrived with hellfire in his eyes and fury unrelenting. his tongue holds venom that would make the devil blush, but he tastes of a sinful sweetness that i've drowned in more times than i care to count.

mother you should know, my god is like no other. he has a broad chest and muscles, i attest, that are sculpted like fine marble and smooth to the test.

my god is a man who loves other men, unashamedly; in all that is true; and kisses me like real people do. and i know it sounds silly, and a bit cliché, and he'd surely make a mockery of me if ever he heard, but i love him. i love him as passionately as you she does lord above, and it is a crime in itself how much i crave him, so yes, i will burn for this—not because my mother said so or by the ancient script that foretells it, but because i promise it. i promise to let neither hell or high water deter me from that which gives me life, and i'll do so with a ring.

"you hear that mom?" i'll whisper in the dead of night, his body flushed against mine in the most delightful way; his fingers curled into my nightshirt, pulling me closer as listless mumbles fall from his parted lips. he is dead to the world amid his dream ridden stupor, but still leans into my touch when i smooth back the wild tufts of hair to kiss his forehead.

"i'm gonna marry him." part of me wishes she didn't live on the other side of the planet, just so i could rub it in her face, but i won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me again. i won't let her think she's won, because i know, and katsuki knows, that he and i are one in the same.

i do not know who i should thank for my stubbornness, be it my mother or my father, so i will thank the pain they both caused me, for it made me stronger than they ever could. no, i did not become a better person, because the scars have yet to heal from how deep they cut, and the smell of blood still lingers, and i am angrier than i once was, but i cherish my wounds. the stench of my agony has long since been subdued, and i have learned to swallow the sickness it evokes. and yes, this anger is unhealthy and i've chosen not to purge it from my mind like the weed it is, but how lucky am i to have found one whose malice rivals my own?

the tales of his glory have littered my notebooks in smudged ink. you would hate him, is scrawled messily on the last page, but i only feel giddy with excitement. you would hate him for his spite and his unapologetic behavior, and that is why he's perfect. he's everything you hate about this world, but everything i love.

so when she gets to heaven and asks the angels "why?", they'll tell her it was him who made the devil cry. him, who held me like she should have—could have, if she hadn't terrified me—and who chased the nightmarish visions of her from my weary mind with his callous palms and soft-spoken reassurances. i wish i had known him when we were young; when things were not so simple and i needed a hand to hold; but i suppose we'll have to settle for faded photographs and stories told through the bitter aroma of alcohol. that's more than enough, i muse to myself, legs hooked over his as i rest my head on his shoulder, keening softly at the gentle scrape of his nails on my scalp. his arms wind around my waist as he mutters something along the lines of "i love you", his lips curling into a smile, illuminated by the televisions glow.

so when they ask of my religion, i will think of only him. i will recall the way he looks at me, the sound of my name on his tongue, the feeling of his lips trailing between the valley of my breast; featherlight, cautious and unfitting for a man of his nature. i've written songs of praise, all dedicated to him, and if only he knew, oh how smug he would be. but i love him, i love him, i love him. and when he spins me around like a marionette, it is with overwhelming pride and joy that i tell him this, and with rose hued cheeks and bashful grumbles, he tells me the same. so mother, wherever you are, i hope you know i've found my god.

[paintedpoems]

Black Water Arc: War of The Water Tyrants.

“Wind’s ontology refuses to take separateness as an inherent feature of the world. […] And this is, in part, wind’s value—it has an existential precondition that appears only in the context of contact. Wind is touching, mutual, moving.”

 — Cymene Howe, Ecologics

 It seems overly contradictory to start a piece about water tyrants with a quote about the wind, doesn’t it? In actuality, readers of the novel would find this comparison immensely appropriate. This is because although black water arc is about the head-to-head battle between Shi Wudu and Hexuan; the center point, the cause and the final effect of this whole arc is Shi Qingxuan. 

 “Existential Precondition” or fate. It is ironic that wind is described as such because that is essentially Shi Qingxuan’s inherent problem and “Refuses to take separateness” was Shi Qingxuan’s ultimate solution. 

Short Summary:

The infant Shi Qingxuan has a curse placed upon them. The curse prophesied a life full of unfathomable hardships for Shi Qingxuan and that is now their fate. Their brother, Shi Wudu, who is extremely protective of his sibling, is bent on saving Shi Qingxuan from this curse. Shi Wudu being naturally gifted eventually ascends as a god, he uses his position in the heavenly realm to then help his younger brother ascend to godhood as well. It is eventually revealed that Shi Wudu secretly changed his sibling’s cursed fate with another person of similar name and better fortune. 

The person in question is Hexuan. Hexuan was fated to live a prosperous life and ascend as a god but instead lives with tragedy latched onto him. He goes through poverty, false accusations, abuse and all of his loved ones die under heartbreaking circumstances. Hexuan eventually dies and returns as a vengeful ghost bent on punishing the one that had wronged him. Hexuan wants justice and since the gods refuse to pass judgement, he decides to come to a verdict on his own. In short, that is what black water arc is about: Judgement. In a grey situation, where exactly do we place the blame?

 On Morality:

Shi wudu verses Hexuan, ‘The war of the water tyrants’ dilemma, is one of the most mind-blowingly well thought out cases of grey morality in literature. It is no secret that the reductiveness of morals into “good” and “evil” categories is one of mxtx's main themes often explored heavily in her previous works. The author rejects the absolute extremes in character viewpoints, both in her protagonists and antagonists and applies the concept in varying thoughts including race and politics. 

The difference in this arc however, is the projection of the audience’s principles into each character. That is, between Hexuan and Shi wudu, she never specifies who the antagonist is. It is left to the readers to explore, reflect and come to an understanding on what exactly it is like to venture into the grey zone. Neither of the two were selfishly driven, none of their initial intentions stemmed from hatred. It was familial love that drove them to hurt one another, familial love that blindsided them. In their quest to protect and to avenge their family, innocent family members lost their lives or were hurt; on both their parts. This is where the definitions of victims and perpetrators get skewed. It is so skewed in fact, that the only valid testimony left is the reader's sentiments for the characters and their own self-principles. 

 From Shi wudu’s “Everything I have today, I fought for myself... I will change fate that I do not possess. My fate is up to me and not the heavens” is the will to fight predestination. Verses, Hexuan’s “What right did he have to suck another’s blood, trample another’s bones to reach the skies, and still maintain a peace of mind. Enjoying all such luxuries without any sense of burden?” the victim of the change in predestination. Two strong, commendable principles, founded by righteousness but blinded by arrogance and hatred. Later, to maintain a peace of mind, Hexuan tramples on Shi Qingxuan and in the process of fighting for oneself, Shi Wudu ultimately changes Shi Qingxuan’s fate for the worse. 

We even witness the Shi Wudu’s blindness take a terrible turn at the very end when he attempts to strangle his own sibling that he fought to protect all this time. His belief that Shi Qingxuan will not be safe without him, his lack of trust in his own brother, is part of his arrogance. 

In return, we see Hexuan’s blind hatred falter for a moment when he keeps giving Shi Qingxuan chances for safety. At the finish line, we see both the water tyrant’s own morals and goals swap. This change in attitude towards Shi Qingxuan’s future is another outstanding ploy by mxtx because expectation of a good outcome is the core of morality. In the end, the readers simply wish for a good ending for Shi Qingxuan and when Shi Wudu decides he is going to die together with his sibling, it confuses the audience. There is a shock factor added, you perceive Shi Wudu as the protector and he pulls the safety rug from under your feet. Instant shock and confusion violating the purity of the absolute good, so the reader’s immediate reaction is to look for safety in the not-absolute evil i.e. Hexuan. However, when Hexuan does not provide that complete comfort at the end, only slightly appeasing everyone, it stings. Reinforcing that cognitive blend of mixed morality into reader’s beliefs, further skewing the curve. 

 It is this kind of writing that creates a split in the fandom, not in a bad way, but more in terms of sparking a conversation about where people’s individual morality lies. Each character has their past, their reasons, their flaws and goodness and it gives the audience something to root for. In addition, the rooting is not a hundred percent good versus bad, because each character’s choices are equally flawed. The fandom selects a side but with one foot still lingering on the other territory. Siding with Hexuan but understanding the reasoning behind Shi Wudu’s actions or siding with Shi Wudu but sympathizing with Hexuan’s pain and loss. The uneven split is how you know the characterization was not mediocre.

In regards to characterizations, Shi wudu and Hexuan are too similar. Their personalities, personas, auras; the proud, stubborn, intelligent water tyrants. We speak of these likenesses because Shi Qingxuan lives through this battle and will never be able to unsee the similarities. Hexuan remains, a walking reminder of Shi Wudu. This feels deliberately done as the final stab to the readers, so that Shi Qingxuan and Hexuan’s relationship remains unmendable. 

 Pure Point of Views, Shi Qingxuan and Xielian: 

Wind is invisible, its apprehension comes from its exposure to objects or in this case other people. Shi Qingxuan is air, pure, lively and touching, forming a comforting contact with everyone they meet. The kind of character that brings about a reader’s protective instinct, in a sense, if anything were to happen to them it will infuriate and break the audience. A classic plot device to draw emotions from the readers. Why must this innocent child suffer for the sins of their brother? But, mxtx urges us to rethink this by wondering the same for Hexuan’s family. They were innocent too, why did they have to die on this path? Why is Shi Qingxuan’s innocence valid and not theirs? The audience feels for Shi Qingxuan because we have become familiarised with them. Shi Qingxuan has now made that connection with the readers, the wind has touched their hearts versus only receiving glimpses of what was Hexuan’s previous family. The effect is lacking that familial impact, that bond. Classic writing schemes, beautiful.

At the end of the clashing of the waves, the person left with the permanent scars was the blameless Shi Qingxuan. Their life was molded and directed into this final point without their control, as if caught in a sea storm. The one that paid for this feud was ultimately Shi Qingxuan, the person neither of the other two wanted to hurt.

 Another classic writing device I want to finally explore and praise is the use of the narrator to throw the audience off the culprit’s scent. The mystery of Black Water Arc was quite simple actually, mxtx layed out all the clues and hints for the audience out in the open. Like Xielian himself states later, the simplest answer was always visible, he was just overthinking things. And if Xielian, the semi-narrator, overthinks then the audience will overthink. Xielian, an intelligent and the fundamentally good person, exudes a trusting aura. The audience cannot help but trust his judgement and perception of things, it is a credibility built from our experience with his mystery solving abilities in the previous arcs. 

The reason why the black water reveal was so impactful and shocking was because of Xielian. The semi narrator continuously made excuses for MingYi, his subconscious trusted him, even if he had his suspicions. He didn’t enforce them strongly enough, leaving the audience to believe Xielian was merely exploring a wrong option for the sake of eliminating possible culprits. The audience was not viewing MingYi as a culprit, rather they were waiting for Xielian to come to the inevitable conclusion of his innocence. An item to quickly cross off the checklist so that they could finally pursue the “real” culprit.

MingYi couldn’t use the Earth Master Shovel? Xielian makes the excuse for him before the audience can even dive deeper on that thought. HuaCheng draws suspicion back to MingYi and Xielian immediately doubts his most trusted confidant’s assumptions. Xielian trusts MingYi, so we trust MingYi against our better judgement. When the narrator has left no room for mistrust, how can the audience hold their stance? 

The proficient push and pull charade played out by Hexuan and Huacheng is another impactful factor that took part in diverting Xielian’s mistrust. The nefarious roles they played policing and suspecting each other, from Hexuan’s “don’t you have spies in the heavens?” to Huacheng’s lie detecting dice game. The solid plan of the two suspicious individuals doing the dirty work for Xielian, did not allow Xielian to mold his thoughts in his own way. He was led astray whilst the other two worked together to draw trust onto each other. So, the audience did not have room for doubt either. 

In addition to all of that, the most fundamental foundation to Xielian’s trust for MingYi was that fact that he was the one who saved him from Huacheng in the first place. Simply because of the ghost city arc, we already place Huacheng and Hexuan on opposing sides rather than assuming they were accomplices. Furthermore, because of Xielian’s trust in Huacheng’s intellect and his belief of Huacheng’s prejudice against MingYi; he would constantly monitor Huacheng’s reaction to his own deductions. Unfortunately, Huacheng was a terrible basis point and by the time Xielian realizes it, it is too late. An ingenious tactic. 

The author led us off track in such a brilliant manner, I had to sing praises at the end of this piece. The way our mind perceives people or situations, is the essence of our moral compass. The mind is subjective, so subjectivity in judgement is ever present, ever grey.

Notes:

This unforgettable and excruciatingly tragic arc is an important turning point in the book and we are all aware that it does not need a special summary. However, I wanted to start with a bit of a reintroduction, just to stay true to the essay tradition. Is this an essay? A think-piece? An analysis? I would not dare shame any of those academic classifications by claiming to be writing as such. 

I hope this was enjoyable to read.

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[cupsofsuga]

ot7 yandere meeting your parents and your parents not liking them💘💫

BLOODLINE  ━ YANDERE BTS REACTION*:･。.

WARNING - This is a yandere au, meaning the following may be triggering to some viewers.  I am not trying to discriminate the boys in any way, this is for entertainment purposes. Viewer discretion is advised!!!

Thank you for requesting, angel!

KIM SEOKJIN

━━━ You and Jin have known each other for your whole lives, never spent a moment without each other. You often reminisce of the times where you’d both ride your bikes through town together or spend nights under a fort you two created, trying your best to hush your own laughter in fear of waking up a parent. The innocence of your childhood was what you missed and now that you’ve grown into a teen, the atmosphere and neglect of childlike joy are now tangible. That’s where Jin comes in, like some sort of superhero wearing a cape with a cheesy slogan. He is there to heal the scorching sensation in your heart and to fight off the sorrows that dared to linger in your head. Upon seeing this newfound connection, your parents didn’t favor the idea of you spending time with that certain boy the called “trouble”.

No worries, though. You’re a teenager, you use bitter lies like it’s your very own sword. You crouched and climbed through each other’s windows during nightfall acting like inmates when all you really were was lovers. Hushed laughter turned to quiet whispers to avoid getting caught, and Jin hated acting like this infatuation was supposed to be kept at secrecy. How could they act like loving somebody was such a crime? How can they take away this soul he needs in his life in such a vicious manner? Those were questions that quickly vanished when you two would go elsewhere than each other’s rooms, finding an open woodland space and trying to remember the names of constellations or to gas stations at 4 am just to laugh as you did years ago. Spending even just a few seconds in your arms is what makes his anger subside and he can feel pure again.

These moments with you feel like they’re eternal, even though they’re spent in the dead of night, scared of the eyes of your parents. You both are 17, which means 1 more year until he can scoop you into his arms and escape this deadbeat town. Whatever the future had planned for him, he won’t care about a thing as long as he gets to spend the rest of his days with you by his side.

“I know we’re only just kids, but, God, Y/N… I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you…”

MIN YOONGI

━━━ The two of you eat in bitter silence. Your mother, once again, shared her much-unneeded opinion about him. She insulted him, mocking him of his weight and claiming he couldn’t defend you in any way. It angered you, severely, and you held a tight grip on your fork to hold yourself back from exploding at her. Seconds of silence go by, ticking away like the deafening echo of a clock. But then, under the dinner the table, you feel a tenacious grip on your hand. Yoongi holds and squeezes onto your palm like he is about to be devoured by the darkness of our galaxy and he clings onto a single star for dear life. He holds onto you like you’re a lifeline and without your touch, he’d die in the most miserable, violent way possible.

Her comments hurt him and he couldn’t defend himself with his poor, weak fists. Her few words made him feel small, defenseless, like a small bunny rabbit against an entire pack of hungry wolves. Tears build up as the insecurities scatter his mind like the raindrops of a heavy storm. Yoongi starts to shake and tremble, trying to hold these inevitable tears back and not let his emotions go rampant at the dinner table, which already had a disastrous mood that lingered around everyone. Luckily, you noticed, tightening your grip on his hand (if that was even humanly possible anymore) and walking straight out of the house, not without a cold “fuck you” directed to your mother.

His tears flow out like a goddamn waterfall down his cheeks. Down, down, down they go as his choked sobs fill the midnight air. Such a melancholic time to be in. The embers of the sun cannot bring warmth to Yoongi’s soul, anymore, and he must cry in the saturated light of the moon. The idea gives off pandemonium of sorrows, but then you come. Your arms are locked tightly around his petite figure, letting him shake with sobs in your grasp as you coo and reassure him that her cruel words don’t mean a thing. But then, there it is. There’s the sun, he can feel the warmth on his face. Yoongi can feel the seraphic scintillation of sunbeams embrace and kiss him softly. And although there is no sun, only the moon, that won’t take away the serenity of this moment.

“Please, please, please… Don’t let me go. Don’t ever let me go… Please…”

JUNG HOSEOK

━━━ Phantoms of unheard ghost lie in your heavy heart. Their insults towards your lover hurt like stab wounds and come like bullets. Every second circling around Hoseok is golden and eternal and you question about your parent’s blindness to his pure aura. He is so, so very joyful resting in the wrath of your presence that it turns physical. It twists and turns his heart in such a pleasurable matter that their heavy, bitter words don’t even give him the slightest of bruises. Like a perceptible weight of seraph that weighs down gently on his chest. Like the freedom of summer, or like a solemn melody that reverberates blissfully in your head. Entirely single fleeting moments spent in utter enchantment, where worries fail to exist.

Every second spent with you is the exact moment where the noose nestled on his neck breaks loose and he can breathe.

Hoseok feels with his heart instead of his fingertips. He cries tears of mercury instead of water. He smiles with the beams of the moon instead of the sun. He is an inhuman creature, an angel or a siren of some sort. Many were quick to fall under his magic way of seething joy, but they never mattered, only you do. That’s all he ever desired, after all, was your affections intended solely for him and him only. So, when your parents mocked and insulted him of being too soft and sensitive, he was quick to brush them off. It’s ok. He doesn’t care about them at all. Only your opinion mattered, anyway, and he’ll do anything to validate and lionize whatever thought crossed your mind.

“It’s ok, Y/N… I only care about you and you only… Please don’t let their words get to you. It hurts me to see you in pain…”

KIM NAMJOON

━━━ You spend your days drinking moonlight straight from the glass and bathing in fields-worth of flower petals. You wear the earth on your body, sleep in river streams and taste of the brightest stars. You may be a witch, you may be a God, or you could just be Y/N. Y/N. A name that has the void in his chest filled to the brim with galaxies, planets and the light of a billion stars. A name that is the only cure to heal his shattered and bruised heart. A name that is said with the blood of holy gods but with the softness of a goddesses touch. The name that is equivalent to a lullaby and is sung from the angels that dance and sing within his own heart.

But… what’s this? You parents have failed to see his love for you…? How could this be? Namjoon has shown nothing but pure, loyal devotion for you and they see him as nothing but some stupid imp!? That can’t be, it won’t be! He wouldn’t let this become a reality!

Namjoon becomes suffocating and intolerant, but he is desperate in times like this. You reassure him your parent’s opinions surely doesn’t make your love for him differ in the slightest and as much as he listens and cherishes every syllable that leaves your lips, those words don’t affect him in the slightest. He bombards your parents with flowers, foods and any gift he could possibly think of. As much as it harms his soul, he tries to ignore their stares of hatred and whispers of gossip. It hurts, but that won’t stop him. Namjoon will do anything to prove to them that he is a good man and is completely worthy of spending the rest of time with their child. Anything.

“I know they don’t matter to you, but, how can they think of me like that? That I’m just some idiotic hellion that only sees you as some sort of toy!? I see you as my entire world, Y/N, and I need them to see that, too… I don’t want anyone to ever think you mean nothing to me…”

PARK JIMIN

━━━ Lover’s Spit is playing, mixed in with the white noise of passing automobiles and tires against the road. It’s a cloudy day when you and Jimin finally pack up and return home from your parent”s house, and Jimin was more than ready to be safe and alone with you. He feels envy; envy for the unforeseen heaven you’ve found in this place rather than finding it within him. You loved being back at home, he can see it in your eyes. It’s like the most beautiful explosion of diamonds and pearls across the nebulous, velvet-touched sky. And as he stares out of the window, groggily watching the trees and cars pass by and music echoing in his head, he feels resent.

“Everything ok, love?” The heavy bass seems to dim down and all he can hear is your voice and feel your sweet attention finally on him. Like an angel’s kiss on a fresh, moggy spring morning, he can finally feel your affections intended solely for him. But when Jimin finally forwards his stare from out of the window to your pretty face, you see a look so heart-shattering that even the clouds start to disintegrate.

Such a devastating look he gives you. Lips trembling, tears clinging onto his lashes like broken shards of diamonds. His features look as if they were chiseled in marble and placed somewhere in Rome. So pure, so beautiful, so melancholically dreamlike. There’s sorrow buried deep in his heart and you’re aching to find out what caused this.

“Y/N… I-I know you love them, but, please… Please don’t leave me… I couldn’t survive without you. Just… Just tell me you love me. It’s all I need to hear right now…”

KIM TAEHYUNG

━━━ Taehyung gulps the glass in front of him like it’s holy water and he’s desperate to be purified of his sins. Their stares linger far too long and he can’t help but wonder, do they know about his vicious infatuation? Do they see him when he lurks outside your window to simply admire the art before him? He now holds shame in his heart, and it burns. At first, your parents were ambivalent about him. But now, it was clear of their feelings for him. They despised him. He followed stars and planets to try and shift and shape their opinions about them, but nothing worked. Through courage, kindness, loyalty, truth, and gratitude, he was left with bitter, eternal disgrace. 

There’s a sudden grip on his wrist. Tight, but comforting in this matter. Oh, there you are.

Taehyung suddenly feels delicate, soft, cherubic, in a way. Spring days and the kisses of the moon resting in the crevice of his heart. Dahlias, lilies, tulips, and marigolds begin to fill and flutter within his chest, a sudden warmth nuzzling through his body like the sunbeams embracing his skin on a July afternoon. Taehyung can finally feel so loved and safe with your touch on him. Even though this silence belittles and mocks him, there are worlds forming in his heart. And for now, the light of your love is all he needs.

“Y/N, you are such a gift… A gift that won’t stop giving. Please… Never stop loving me. I don’t know how I’d live without your love…”

JEON JUNGKOOK

━━━ Jungkook can see his reflection in the glimmer of the plate in front of him and has an utter hatred for what he sees. Too possessive, too soft, too emotional, too jealous, too sensitive. His hands start to shiver, his knees ache and his lip quivers. Were all those harsh words true? Could it be possible you felt the same way as well!? This voice inside his head is chanting “calm down!” like it’s some sort of magic spell and he’s trying to summon the dead. But, his plans fail and Jungkook can’t seem to bring a halt to these worries. He begins to hyperventilate as he sinks into himself. “How could you love someone like him?”, they ask. But, really, how could you?

He is nothing but some socially anxious kid who is trying with every weak bone in his body to prove his devotion to the human he loves with the worth of the entire galaxy. You’re a god, and he’s nothing but some filthy hellion that is desperate for your affections. You were born made of shattered stars with a big chunk of the moon that rests in your heart, he was given nothing but thin skin and a glass soul. You are the moon, a light in the darkness that shares its own wrath of eternal peace and beauty. Jungkook is the sun, so overwhelming and so utterly there, and god, does he hate it. But before this epiphany eats him whole, you drag him from the dining room and into your childhood bedroom to try and soothe him of his sorrows.

You shush him when he starts to cry, holding his head with your palms like you have an entire planet in your hands. You wipe his tears and whisper words of reassurance, telling him that he is completely perfect just as he is and how he shouldn’t let their blasphemous words dominate him. And although his insecurities crafted by your parents have now taken a toll on him, your touch and your love heals him, so now he can inhale the scent of summer and exhale the dust of your affections.

“Thank you… Thank you, thank you, thank you… I-I-I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but, fuck… I’m so goddamn thankful to be yours…”

[ofdeathstouch]

𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣-𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔞: 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔢𝔵𝔢𝔠𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔯'𝔰 𝔰𝔬𝔫𝔤

SUMMARY: Charlie goes to collect Tracy’s soul, but instead she comes face-to-face with Tracy’s killer. This is a missing scene from MAGE MURDERS. TRIGGERS: Death Mentions, Violence, Physical Assault MENTIONS: @ofdivinerage​, @ofhxllblazer​

It was late when she felt it. The reaper tingle. It was the sort of feeling that notified her when one of her charges was dead, only, she hadn’t been expecting it tonight. She closed her eyes, letting the veil take her to the location of the body. When she opened them again, she was standing inside Flanagan’s Pub. The first thing she noticed was the twisted and mutilated body of a young woman dressed like a magician. Her heart lurched for a moment. It looked like Zatanna. Charlie took a step forward and the features on the woman’s gaunt face became clearer. “Tracy...” Charlie breathed. The young woman was an apprentice of sorts to Zatanna. The way her body was positioned made it clear this crime scene was intended to be a message for Michael.

Charlie was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard someone strike a match behind her. She turned to see Aamon. He was leaning back casually in his chair. Blood stained his clothes and his hands and the smell of booze and cigarette smoke lingered in the air around him. This wasn’t the first time she’d collected the soul of someone Aamon had killed, but this was by far the most violent and personal display of rage that she’d seen from the demon prince. 

“Charlie,” he spoke first breaking the tension in the air. He knew that a reaper would come to collect the soul, that was why he’d stuck around. It was just...unfortunate the reaper had to be Charlie. He liked her. She was a friend of Belphegor’s but less annoying than Cupid. He could at least deal with Charlie in small doses whereas he couldn’t deal with Cupid in any dose. The man that killed Charlie when she was human, Will, resided in Aamon’s kingdom. He remembered that he enjoyed torturing him personally. “Care for a drink, love?” he asked, placing his cigarette in his mouth and holding up a bottle of half drunken scotch he’d swiped from the bar.

“Aamon,” her voice came out hushed and urgent as she took a step toward him. “What--” she was trying to find the words and the courage to speak. “What did you do?” she asked, her shaking hands gesturing to the body of the deceased girl. It looked like she’d been tortured before her death both mentally and physically. He’d made this a slow process for the poor girl. Charlie normally didn’t judge Aamon when she came to collect the souls he left in his wake, but she couldn’t look away this time. The intimate nature of this kill was extreme even for him. 

“Aamon, you have to go,” she replied as she took the bottle from him. She ignored the look of annoyance that he gave her and continued forward. “Michael will kill you. You need to go back to hell. You’ll be safe there.” She didn’t care much for keeping Aamon safe per say. Consequences to his actions were completely foreign to him. He always got away with these little bouts of rage that resulted in someone’s death but Charlie did care about humanity. She knew the scene before her had the potential to cause a full on celestial war. Aamon was better off exiled to hell where Michael couldn’t get to him than he was waiting it out here for his brother to punish him. “Come on,” she held out her hand to him. “We can go down there together. I can take Tracy to her final destination when I return.”

“Let him come,” he replied as he blew smoke in her direction. He’d done this for a reason. Michael walked around the city as if he was untouchable. Sure, there was some truth to that, but those around him? The connections he was making, the family he was building...Aamon wanted to make sure Michael knew they would never be safe. He wanted Michael to know what his siblings felt every time they saw Heaven’s Little Watch Dog on Earth. He wanted to instill in Michael the same fear the Archangel had instilled in them during the war. And if Aamon died in the process then what of it? He was living on borrowed time anyway. The blow that Belgirel took had always been meant for Aamon.

Charlie observed him for a moment. If there was one thing she knew well it was death. She knew the ambivalence and the devil may care attitude well. It was the way a dead man carried himself. He wanted to die. “That’s the coward’s way out and you know it,” she replied before she even knew what possessed her to say something like that. “Suicide by smiting. Is that really how you want your story to end?” she asked. And that was her mistake. She’d gotten comfortable with the Demon Princes. She started to care; tried to understand them. 

In a split second, Aamon’s face twisted from calm ambivalence to distrust, disgust, and pure rage. He sprung from his seat, grabbing Charlie by the waist and pushing her forward until she was stuck between him and the grimy pub wall. “Getting brave, aren’t we?” he breathed into her ear. “Maybe I’m not the only one with a death wish. Do not mistake me for Belphegor. I am not your charity case, I am your superior in every way. Do you understand me?” he asked as his cold blue eyes met hers. “Nod your head now. Do. You. Understand. Me.?” he repeated coldly. A wolfish grin formed on his lips as she nodded yes. “Good,” he began, not at all easing his grip on her. For her part she didn’t fight back, instead she looked paralyzed with fear. “This is what’s going to happen. I’m going back to my apartment to clean myself up. In the mean time, you’re going to take the lovely Ms. Tracy here to my kingdom in hell. All you need to do is take her to the gates. Alastair will know what to do with her from there. Again,” he replied, bringing one hand to her throat. “Nod if you understand me.”

“Aamon I--” she began but his hand closed off her airwaves. She couldn’t take Tracy to hell; her soul was bound for the kingdoms of heaven but Aamon wasn’t taking no for an answer. “Let me make this perfectly clear,” he began, he maintained a steady hand around her throat as his free hand went to grasp her wrist. “I don’t care where she’s meant to go. That changes tonight. I’m not done with her. You will take her to my kingdom and you will give her over to Alastair. Naturally,” he squeezed her wrist tightly, pushing his power into her and watching the flesh around her hand go necrotic. “You will tell no one. Not Lucifer, not Belphegor, and definitely not Azrael. I would really hate to have to send Will back to kill you all over again,” he replied nonchalantly. He pushed a little further watching her wince in pain as her body began to die again. “Do you understand?” He smiled as she nodded her head this time without debate. “Good,” he replied as he released his grip on her wrist and throat. He heard a rustle behind the bartop and grinned to himself. He figured it was Tracy’s ghost trying to make some noise and maybe even get away from the shop. She wouldn’t get far. “Looks like you better get to work, love,” he replied as he took a step back from the reaper. He figured he made his point clear enough to her. Aamon gave her one final once over before disappearing in a flutter of wings. 

Charlie choked out a sob and gripped at her decaying wrist the moment he disappeared. Gods. It hurt. It was like a permanent cold had invaded her body and gripped at her heart. She hadn’t wanted to give him the satisfaction of watching her cry, but now that she was alone she let the tears flow freely. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, she was suffocating. She needed to get out of here. Charlie pushed the backdoor to the pub open and stepped out. She braced herself against the back of the building as her body shuttered and shook with sobs. She was so overwhelmed and in pain she hadn’t even noticed the bloke in the corner who’d been taking a leak. 

John Constantine quickly zipped up his trousers as he heard the back door to Flanagan's Pub slam open. He’d fully expected Roger, the owner of the Pub, to appear and have a go at him for being so blitzed and taking a leak behind his bar, but he was surprised to see it was a young woman instead. She didn’t look like the type that frequented this kind of establishment. John could hear her crying. They sounded like sobs of both fear and pain. He cautiously approached her and held up his hands to show her that he was unarmed. “You all right there, love?” he asked, keeping his tone gentle and even. 

Charlie looked up as a voice spoke to her. For a moment she froze, fearing that it was Aamon again, but as she examined the man she recognized him as John Constantine. He was one of her wards. He was sweet but constantly in trouble. He had some dangerous habits that she knew would lead to his death sooner rather than later. Charlie straightened up and wiped tears from her face. She nodded when he asked her if she was alright, but she didn’t speak. She wasn’t sure she could form words. John nodded in kind but he could see she was far from all right. “Did someone hurt you?” he asked, giving her the once over. She was favoring her hand like she was in pain. “An old boyfriend? Is he still here?” he asked, looking around. He was ready to fight someone. Didn’t matter who. They’d laid hands on this poor girl and he was going to return the favor to them in kind. 

“He’s gone,” she managed to breathed out. She could see the disappointment in John’s face and it made her smile softly. He was sweet but reckless. A fight against Aamon wasn’t one that he could win, but she knew that even if John knew who’d hurt her he wouldn’t have backed down. “I’m okay,” she promised, keeping her injured hand out of view. “Thank you for stopping to check in on me.”

John nodded but he didn’t want to leave the girl. Not until he knew she was truly safe. So, he did what he could to stall for some time until he was sure the threat had truly passed. John pulled out a pack of smokes from his tench and offered a cigarette to her. The young woman obliged and he lit it for her. Charlie normally didn’t smoke, but she felt today might be an occasion for it. She inhaled deeply and let the smoke fill her lungs. They stayed silent as they shared a smoke, John always looking around her to make sure whoever had harmed her truly wasn’t coming back. When she was done, she extinguished the butt of the cigarette into the smoke tray beside her and turned to look at John. “Thank you, really. I’m okay now,” she promised him.

John nodded as he extinguished his own cigarette. “Anytime, love. If he comes back...” John manifested his card and held it out to her. “You give me a call, alright?” She took the card from him and nodded. “I will,” she lied as she placed the card in her pocket. She had no intention of dragging John into this. She opened the back door to the pub just a crack, signaling him that it was time for her to go. John nodded and gently patted her shoulder as he made his way down the alley. “Hey John,” she called out to him when he was a ways away from her. “You should really cut back on the cigarettes,” she replied. She allowed half of her face to go skull-like. It was the way most people expected reapers to look. “Smoking kills,” she warned good naturally as her face returned to normal. And with that, she left Constantine gaping as she disappeared into the pub, allowing the door to shut firmly behind her. 

“Tracy,” Charlie called out as she reached the main atrium of the pub. “I’m sorry for what happened to you and I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’m not taking you to hell,” she promised as she grabbed a clean dish rag from behind the counter and wrapped it around her injured wrist. Maybe Aamon was right. Maybe she did have a death wish. The smart thing to do would be to just listen to him and take Tracy to hell, but she wasn’t going to let him win. This time, Aamon would face the consequences of his actions. Charlie did the one thing that always brought her comfort when she was scared. She closed her eyes and she prayed to Azrael. It only took a moment for her to hear the flutter of their wings as their energy filled the room. Relief flooded over her as she opened her eyes. “Something’s happened, Boss. We need to talk.”

[tarithenurse]

On my mind, in my soul - 5

Prompt: Got three things to go by on this. “Waiting Game” by Banks (used passages as block quotes), a weapon (not firearm), and a bathrobe. Pairing: Loki x Burglar!reader. Content: Morning after, reference to lemons and even some small citrus fruits growing here and there. Swearing, ofc. Uhm...might have forgotten something because my brain is broken. A/N: It’s the Loki we know, but he’s made himself a home on Earth, curating an impressive collection of valuables from across the universe – all for himself and the fame he finds despite the New York incident. Check out masterlist! Plsplspls reblog if you liked <3

Bright light of day

It’s the bed that wakes you. Stretching lazily, the hazy semi-sleep caresses you gently with the softness of silken sheets and pillows, you suddenly stop mid-yawn at the realization that this bed isn’t yours. The smooth sheets are a far cry from the coarse linen you should be tangled in. Peeping out from under the eyelashes, you take in the lavish decoration of the master bedroom that looks so different now the soft morning light is filtering through a slit between the curtains. And even so, your roaming eyes barely register what they see, instead noting what’s no there. Who’s not there. Pushing the duvet aside, it’s a surprise how gently the air greets your naked form, the cold bite from the night gone. It wasn’t the night.

Without Loki around, there’s no one to ask where your clothes have gone to, and you spend a good five minutes searching before giving up. Better make the most of it, a snarky voice urges you as you push the door open to a bathroom that could be heaven on earth.

The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame

…

Tiptoeing through the house, you let your nose guide you with the promise of breakfast and coffee. There are no fluctuations in the temperature, yet the soft bathrobe is pulled tight around your form as if it could lend some sort of protection, shield you from judgement in case someone’s around and guesses what has happened.

You’d expected some maid or similar to be busy in the kitchen, not Loki casually stirring the contents of a frying pan while nose-deep in a newspaper. The sight immobilizes you as the caffeine-lacking brain tries to catch up with the image of a domestic god.

“There’s a fresh bowl of fruits waiting for you,” he offers without looking up, “and fresh coffee.”

The words hang in the air for a beat longer than necessary before you react, face warm with the realization that even someone as different as Loki would have a daily routine. A pattern of habits and basic needs. And right now, you’re intruding on that.

“Uhm…thank you.”

Looking further than the perfectly dressed man, you spot a bar-like table extending the granite into an L-shape lined at the bottom by swivelling bar seats, in front one of which there’s a neat arrangement of bowl, glass, cup, cutlery…everything possibly needed for a breakfast. You make sure to tug the bathrobe around your legs, not wanting to accidentally reveal your nudity even though Loki already must be aware. Clothes don’t grow legs and leave on their own.

“I’ve had your clothes send to the dry cleaner.” The crinkle of the thin paper warns that his reading material has been discarded. “Also took the liberty of getting you something more fitting to wear for your trip home.”

You’ve already wrapped your fingers around the mug of steaming, liquid energy. “Where’s it?”

“Not here yet.”

This time the voice is much closer, making you look up into the calculative eyes, almost missing the plate full of pancakes and the bottle of real maple syrup. Next moment he’s striding away to refill his own coffee cup, dumping you into a silence that you’re stubbornly set on not breaking as if it’s some sort of competition. Like a staring game, but here the urge’s to say something.

So you eat, savouring the exotic fruits that seep with sweet tastiness contrasting the roasted bitterness of the hot drink. And while you enjoy the tantalizing meal, Loki simply stands there at the other end of the kitchen, watching in silence. Only a flicker of a smile ghosting his face when you bite into a pancake, sending a sticky drop of syrup astray on your lips.

“Why aren’t you eatin’?” You point nonchalantly at him with a piece of mango on the tip of the fork. Silver fork.

“I already have.” Innocent words unless the darkened gaze is taken into account.

Don't tell me listen to your song because it isn't the same

…

He lets you finish, even clears away the mess without allowing you to help. What does he want from me? You’re about to ask when the sound of a door opening and closing can be heard followed by steps that only are silent because of training. You listen as the steps fade upstairs, then return to the very same door you entered the kitchen through…but no one opens.

“Master, the clothes have been laid out on your bed as requested.” It’s hard to judge the age of the woman speaking. “Is there anything else?”

“No, Matilde, that’s all for now,” Loki answers smoothly, “you may be excused for the day.”

Neither you nor the god moves until it’s evident that the maid has left. Then you slide off the tall seat, fully intend on going to get dressed because that must’ve been the clothes they were talking about, and if not…well almost anything’s better than wearing Loki’s own bathrobe much longer.

“Thank you for breakfast,” you manage to say before turning away from his intense gaze.

“[Y/N]…there’s something we must discuss…” Like cold water would, his words sends a ripple of goosebumps down your back. “The profit could be considerable for you.”

You don’t want to be further indebted to him, already painfully aware of how much of your life rests in his hands, but the entire reason that you ended up in this house and staying until morning is because he wanted it that way. He’s used to getting what he wants. Turning back with a sigh, you grab the cup and hold it out to him because you’ll be damned if you’re not having all the free coffee you can get if he’s going to talk you into some ridiculous scheme. Not that you’re interested, of course…at least that what you keep reminding yourself as you settle against the hard countertop, feet crossed at the ankles and nose inches from the warm brew.

“I’ve been challenged to obtain an artefact beyond any of the miserable trinkets from your world,” Loki smirks, “in fact…it’s so rare there’s only one in the entirety of the cosmos…but as luck will have it...” the smile broadens, “I know where to find it.”

“Just cut to the chase!”

He does, though not without a huff of annoyance, and starts out with the convoluted ancestral background of a being called Luɣ. Not unlike the Asgardians, this being and its kin (Thuäthan Dae) would roam through space to seek adventure or expand their empire, and they were so good at it that rumours of their riches spread and fostered alliances which ultimately led to the Thuäthan Dae’s downfall. During the following eons, the survivors scattered and got assimilated into other races, but some of the legends still exist…including that of a nifty spear capable of reacting to verbal commands of the owner.

At this point in life, you’ve come to accept that perhaps there’s more to old mythological tales than people once did believe, all things considered. Glancing skeptically at Loki’s hands, you wonder if there’s more he hasn’t told you yet about himself which would be relevant to know before getting intrigued in an alien-made weapon.

Baby I'm thinking it over What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start

Large hands weave elegantly through the air as the god describes artefacts that already have been recovered…and…and…lost in memories of the acts of colour changing limbs, it’s as if you can feel the touch upon your skin, sending shivers through your already heating body, and shifting focus away does nothing to help you because the next you see are the narrow hips wrapped in subtle leather. Oh fuck. Yeah, the leather doesn’t hide the proportions of the man, and a new shiver races towards your cunt.

There’s only one thing for it and that’s to avert your eyes by pretending to drink from the already empty mug. Of course, Loki’s still talking, so you take your time trying to coax the very last drops across the ceramic surface and almost succeed before a golden shimmer leaves you emptyhanded.

“You’re not listening.” A cool finger under your chin forces [Y/E/C] and green eyes to meet. “Tell me…what were you thinking of?” No words escape your mouth despite several attempts that only results in Loki smirking. “It’s alright, my pet,” he purrs, head dipping so close the nose tips meet for a fraction of a second, “I can sense your…excitement.”

The only logical response is to protest, but you don’t really want to and even if you did then you couldn’t because his lips are on yours. Sweetly. Softly. The taste of minty toothpaste lingers under notes of coffee when he opens his mouth for you, waking up your senses after they’ve been doused in the sweetness from the breakfast. A perfect contrast coaxing a humming from your throat, and you can feel Loki’s crooked smile on your skin even before his hands runs down your waist, hips, grabbing under your thighs and lifting you effortlessly onto the stone tabletop.

It’s a simple nudge by the god’s hips that has you parting your legs for him to stand between, mouths and tongues still dancing and your fingers flexing against his chest because damn-it, you want what he can give you. The all-consuming rush rolling through your body from the best orgasms you’ve ever experienced. It’s addictive, and frighteningly so, especially because this man has more power over you than good is. I shouldn’t…shit! Deft hands are already pushing the front of the bathrobe aside and fondling your breast, tugging at a nipple with an expertise that makes your back arch and you know how wet your cunt already is.

“Stop.” Faster than you thought possible, you’ve caught Loki’s wrists tightly. “Stop…I can’t…”

It feels as though the temperature drops ten degrees, and you can’t bear to meet the god’s gaze. Shit, shit, shiiiiit. Fear’s lodged in your throat like bile, making you queasy and preventing you from breathing as freely as you want…but it’s okay because filling your lungs would cause your chest to move and you don’t want his attention there. Well…I do…sort of. It’s a messed-up situation that would have been plenty awkward on its own but with him –

“Why not, my pet?” At least he doesn’t try to continue, merely attempts to meet your eyes. “Don’t deny that you desire this.”

“Shut up!” Your exclamation catches you by surprise but it’s Loki’s slight jerk that scares you enough to cower, shielding yourself from whatever the Asgardian might do to hurt you.

Nothing happens. At least not really.

”I see,” he whispers almost sadly.

Each movement’s deliberately slow and obvious as he back away, only turning his back when he’s at the other end of the kitchen, allowing you a sort of privacy to slide off the granite and wrap the bathrobe around your shivering body.

“I’m…I’m sorry, Loki…”

The wide shoulders roll. “Don’t be. I brought this on myself.” His knuckles are white from the grip on the edge of the sink he’s leaning against. “Get dressed. I’ll have my driver ready to bring you home afterwards and you won’t see or hear from me again.”

…

He’s true to he word, the only sign of him being a flat parcel the driver hands you when you reach the place you ask to be dropped off (some random address not far from the subway). You don’t have to look what’s in the box to guess it and the knowledge digs painfully into some part of your heart no matter how hard you try to ignore it.

Cause lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are

[stevesnightmares]

Top 25 Doctor Who episodes

They are in chronological order, from season 1 (2005) to season 11 (2018), not of preference, two parters are counted as one episode. (edit: I had forgotten about “Midnight, so there are 26 now instead of 25, ops?)

★ S01E06 "Dalek" this episode really made me love the 9th doctor, Christopher performance was fantastic, I wish they had given him more time on the show so that we could have seen more of that rage.

★ S01E09-10 "The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances", this will be no surprise to anyone because it's a fan favourite of almost everyone, but that's because it's such a well written episode, creepy and intriguing, original and with a beautiful and heartwarming ending. That "For once everybody lives" always makes me tear up a bit.

★S01E12-13 "Bad Wolf/The Parting of Ways", RTD has always had beautiful endings and this surely is one, emotional and beautiful, but also funny at times. The final part where Rose looked into the TARDIS and her interactions with the Daleks was badass as fuck, and her interaction with the Doctor was beautiful. And let's not talk about "You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!"

★ S02E08-09 "The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit", this is such an underrated episode but a brilliant one. It's scary and it always keeps you on your toes because you don't know what's going to happen. I didn't appreciate it enough the first time I saw, only when I rewatched it I realized how good it was.

★S02E12-13 "Army of Ghosts/Doomsday", of course this is going to be on the list, Rose was my first companion and seeing her go was a devastating experience that I can't forget. I remember seeing this episode for the first time and crying like a baby just during the initial monologue "[...] But then came the Army of Ghosts. Then came Torchwood and the war. That's when it all ended. This is the story of how I died." Still crying over this. And let's not talk about the wall scene. You know which one.

★S03E01 "Smith and Jones", when I first watched season 3 I didn't appreciate it enough because I was mourning Rose's departure and couldn't get over it, however, when I rewatched it, I finally was able to appreciate this season because it's a really good season. I know this episode is an odd choice, not a lot of people talk about this specific episode, but I think it's a really good episode, really enjoyable, but not too heavy, and Martha in this episode is absolutely brilliant, we can see just how smart and brave and smart and smart she really is.

★ S03E08-09 "Human Nature/The Family of Blood", this is another really popular and loved episode by the fandom, and again, there is a really good reason. This episode it's fun but also emotional, it's really original and super intriguing. And of course we can't forget to mention the "fury of a time lord", that scene where he punishes the family of blood is just perfect. Loved it.

★ S03E12-13 "The sound of Drums/Last of the time lords", as I said, RTD finales are absolutely brilliant, and this, like the others, is brilliant too. It shows what a complete badass Martha is, traveling the world all alone because she is a woman on a mission. I didn't really like how the doctor got back to normal, but let's not think about it too much. My favourite scene ever, that gave me the chills is when Martha finds out what's inside those robots, it still gives me chills every time I see that scene.

★S04e08-09 "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead", again, this is a really predictable episode, but it is a beautiful two parter. The villain is brilliant and super scary, the whole concept of the episode is brilliant and it's executed perfectly, and we are also introduced to River, for whom we are sad when she dies the first time we see it but it's so much better when you rewatch the episode after having watched all the other episodes with her, including The husband of River Song, which take place right after this episode.

★ S04E10 "Midnight" do I even have to explain why this episode, which is loved by everyone, is in this list? I don't think so.

★ S04E11 "Turn Left", this episode is criminally underrated. I LOVE this episode with all of my heart. When people talk about Blink, they praise it because it was brilliant even tho the doctor wasn't even in it, well this is brilliant and the doctor isn't in it. This episode is so devastating to watch trough the eyes of a human, the devastation and pain that is caused by the fact that the doctor is not there to save earth is just, you know, devastating. I don't know how to explain how much I love this episode.

★ S04E12-13 "The stolen earth/Journey's end" another beautiful finale from RDT. Not only because it's a beautiful episode but also because we got EVERYONE in this episode, Rose, Jack, Martha, Sarah Jane, Donna, Micky, Jakie literally everyone was there, and it was just beautiful to finally see again some old friends.

★ S05E01 "The Eleventh Hour" this was a perfect introduction to the new doctor, we needed something strong that could make us like him after loosing Tennant, someone that everyone loved, and this episode did it. Matt did and incredible job in this episode, which introduces to Amy and Rory, the crack in time and space and the new doctor. I loved the episode and 11 speech was just phenomenal, really made me like him instantly.

★ S05E02 "The beast below", I guess this can be considered an odd choice, because I never hear anyone talk about this specific episode, but I loved it, it was fun and it also showed us a bit more about the doctor, how he is, what's his moral compass like, how he acts and reacts to things, and also we learned more about Amy. The plot was really interesting and cool, at time a bit creepy but also really sad because of what happened to that whale-thing.

★S05E04-05 "The time of angels/Flesh and stone", I actually have no clue of how people feel about this episode, but I personally really loved them, we got the angels, the crack in time and space, cool moments with River, Amy and the doctor, it was exciting and it was cool, but also a bit emotional at times.

★S05E12-13 "The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang" Moffat showed us that he could make a good finale too. I really loved this finale, it's so exciting and it ties a lot of ends together, which is always cool to see it happen. The Pandorica speech is one of my favourite moments ever and also we got Rory back. Really awesome ending that didn't leave you underwhelmed and it was completely satisfying.

★ S06E01-02 "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon" is one, if not the best opener ever. It just keeps you hooked and excited, not only for these two episodes, but for the whole season. The episode literally starts with the death of the doctor, and then it introduced a new and cool villain that is the Silence.

★S06E04 "The doctor's wife" is one of the best episodes ever, it has a cool and we'll executed concept, it's really emotional but also cool as hell? And it also has one of my favourite quotes ever "Fear me I've killed hundreds of time lords" "Fear me, I've killed all of them".

★ S06E07 "A Good Man Goes To War" is just PERFECT, the plot twist were brilliant, they left me speechless, I cry and laughed and I just loved the episode. Bonus points because in this episode Rory was a complete badass. It has my favourite doctor who quote of all times

"Demons run when a good man goes to war

Night will fall and drown the sun

When a good man goes to war

Friendship dies and true love lies

Night will fall and the dark will rise

When a good man goes to war

Demons run, but count the cost

The battle's won, but the child is lost"

★ S06E08 "Let's Kill Hitler", from what I saw people don't really love this episode, but I absolutely did love it and this is my list, so here it is.

★S06E10 "The Girl Who Waited" this episode was really devastating but so so beautiful, this is another fan favourite, at least it was before, I haven't heard a lot people talk about it recently. But again, there is a good reason if it is so loved.

★ S06E11 "The God Complex" surprisingly I haven't seen anyone ever talk about this episode even though it absolutely brilliant and spectacular. It's not a really heavy episode, but heavy enough. It's also a bit of a strange episode, but not in a bad way.

★ The day of the doctor/The time of the doctor

★ S08E05 "Time Heist" this is not a really popular episode and I saw a lot of people say that they didn't like it, however I did, probably because I'm a slut for heist movies and this episode combined two things that I love, Doctor Who and Heist Movies.

★ S08E08 "Mummy on the Orient Express", this episode really blew me out of the way, it was just brilliant. I don't even know what to say, it just was.

★ S09E11 "Heaven Sent" (I know I said that two parters would count as one episode but I HATED Hell Bent, I'm not going to get into why or it'll take to long) This episode was probably one the best doctor who episodes ever , the acting was phenomenal, Capaldi is just great, and the plot and dialogue and monologue and plot twist and everything. Even if you don't like doctor who this is episode is great. It has my favourite quote:

"As you come into this world, something else is also born.

You begin your life, and it begins a journey towards you. It moves slowly, but it never stops.

Wherever you go, whatever path you take, it will follow me. Never faster, never slower, always coming.

You will run. It will walk.

You will rest. It will not

One day, you will linger in the same place too long. You will sit too still or sleep too deep, and when, too late, you raise to go, you will notice a second shadow next to yours. Your life will then be over."

★ S10E11 "World Enough And Time" (In this case I did like episode 12 but it wasn't good enough to make it into the list) This episode left me speechless, I really wasn't expecting this episode to be that good. Absolutely loved this episode, it was brilliant.

[gaasaku-fanfests]

Lullaby

Title: Lullaby Author: distant-voice Rating: K Word Count: 3,947 Summary: Her song had brought him to her, her conversations had made him stay, but it was his love for her that kept him coming back. Warnings: None Author's Note(s):  This is the first AU I’ve ever written, yikes! I feel like I might have seen a similar character set up elsewhere, but I’d like to think the way my story goes is drastically different. Sorry for the mood of the story. I blame it on the song I was listening to while writing. I also played/experimented with the writing (cough)… sooo I hope my partner will find this somewhat palatable, as will anyone else who reads the story.

(Additional note: despite the AU there is canon SasuSaku. Not a GaaSaku ending. It’s one-sided. [edited])

Prompt chosen: ‘Song’ & ‘AU’ Partner: hubbie22 

The first time he hated his job a little less was when he found himself something to look forward to while on the clock. It’d become a pastime that started to occupy most of his nights, when he was supposed to be traveling far and wide to bring relief to the sleepless.

The novelty of a thing was a gratuitous find. He’d chanced upon it while roving through the small town Konoha, agilely leaping from one house roof to another against the backdrop of the glittering city lights. There was nothing remarkable about that two-story house in the nondescript neighborhood that would have caused him to pause, yet what tugged at his steps was the intangible. Through an open window from the second story, the carefree humming grew in volume and sauntered into his consciousness.

There was a special lulling effect to the song that drew him like deer to water, night after night. Like a bedtime lullaby, it stilled him from his unrest and gave him the possibility of the very thing he furnished to all yet suffered the lack thereof himself. It was the cruel irony of his profession: Along with the irreversible insomnia that his own magic couldn’t even cure, the permanent dark circles and the general irritable disposition were all—what he supposed, occupational hazards.

As he savored the notes that soothed him, without volition his eyelids drooped. A few seconds of him perching nearby stretched into minutes, then until the break of light he stayed. Before long, he’d reserved a front row seat inside the house and become an unsought patron of the solo performance.

When his inevitable curiosity first riled him to peek, the shock of pink assaulted his vision. (There was nothing lulling about that.) Eventually coming to terms with the realness of the unnatural hair color, he’d observed a girl in her adolescence. Fair complexion and slender build, she was pretty; not the kind of breathtaking beautiful, but there was sunshine in her smiles whenever she laughed to herself with that breezy voice of hers for reasons known to no one else.

Naturally, he settled himself in his routine spot and reclined against his sizable gourd, the vessel that contained the essence of his magic. With his head pillowed on his crossed arms, his seafoam eyes languidly rested on the only other occupant of the room.

Per usual, she was engaged in her nightly ritual before retiring to bed. She sang to her heart’s content, as she brushed her long locks to free them of knots. With headphones secured in her ears, she seemed no longer on earth and completely oblivious to the unseen visitor in her world.

Her song was like raindrops on the pavement, streaming waters in the forest, and the waves that crashed onto the summer beach. He didn’t understand how a mere human girl could possess the ability to purge him of his plague, but he’d forgo his pride for practicality to tolerate such dependency if it meant he could find rest for a few hours.

As he welcomed the heavy darkness that began to set in without guard, he never had the slightest concern about his trespassing presence being discovered, not even when she’d swept his end of the room plenty of times with her pair of bright eyes that reminded him of the dewy grass at sunrise...

—No, no mortal could see him, not unless he granted that privilege...

The first bit of awareness came to him earlier than usual, in an unfamiliar way too. A pleasant smell, like the aroma of freshly bloomed flowers, pervaded his dreamless realm. In the pitch black in which his mind floated, the fragrance lingered, soon making up the air he inhaled. In his sleep, he stirred as the scent made impression on his senses.

And when he gradually roused from his slumber, he thought he’d woken up to Spring, with colors of pink, red, and a smudge of green penetrating the seams of his eyelids. As he shifted to shake off the remnants of his drowsiness, a soft gasp disrupted the quiet of his surroundings. Instantly, his eyes snapped open only to be met with those distinct gem-like orbs.

For what seemed like eternity, he locked his unblinking eyes with the pink-haired girl who knelt before him. Turquoise dipped into pools of emerald, and he was caught up in absolute stillness.

Surely, she couldn't—

"I thought you might be cold sleeping on the floor."

His brain couldn’t process his shock fast enough for him to react to the plush cover that she draped around him almost premeditatively following her words. His wide stares alternated between the hesitantly smiling girl within an arm’s reach and the blanket that cloaked his body. Realization came, as he felt a surprising warmth that hugged him from shoulders down to his knees.

Somehow, he'd manifested himself in his sleep and he was no longer the phantom that left invisible footprints at many a home.

His mind surged with questions, unable to digest the possibility of his presence being made vulnerable to the naked eyes of any human.

Unbothered by his stunned state, his observer had begun to murmur, “I’ve seen you sleep here…”

So it wasn’t the first time… His forehead creased; and he stifled an expletive, appalled at the fact that he’d lost control, therefore losing a piece of his anonymity. But more than anything else, he blamed the gods for ever giving him a physical body for his stewardship.

“I wasn’t sure at first, but I figured that…” The uncertainty in her speech hauled his focus to the present, and he fixed his gaze on the girl.

“...if you’d wanted to hurt me, you would’ve done so already," she said; then like an afterthought, she added, “Right?”

"—Hey! What are you... "

Abruptly, he stood and hoisted his gourd onto his back, not acknowledging her statement or letting her finish her sentence. The blanket that’d protected his form earlier fell to the floor. With a flurry of sand, he made himself disappear from her company.

...

There was apprehension in his gait when he retraced his steps back to that particular two-story house the next time, yet it dissipated as the pink-haired host embraced his arrival without alarm, without judgment. At the creak of the floorboards under his feet, the faint smile that was directed his way was one that made him feel like he’d just come back to a home… —when he had none in reality, living like the vagabond he was. And he no longer had the need to conceal himself in front of her.

He’d never admit, though, that his intrigue only grew since then. Those foreign gestures from her had moved him from within, and the need to experience had prevailed over his pride or logic that told him to keep away.

"You are a ghost," she declared, making her rounds of silly assumptions at his true identity. The two of them plopped on the ground by her desk, and he was the subject of her scrutiny.

He shook his head.

She pouted. Jutting a finger into her chin, she ventured another guess.

"Are you…” She leaned just a little closer, and her green eyes lit up. “Cupid?"

Again his head swayed from left to right, this time in a petulant manner. His brows pinched together, and he folded his arms across his chest in that default posture of his. Sure, that path might have been what the fickle gods had planned for him at his conception; the “love” branding on his forehead and his fiery red hair explained it all. But it wasn’t long before everyone in the heavens realized that his temperament made him unfit for the job, and he’d been demoted…

Not that he minded much, for he considered his current stint the lesser of the two evils.

"That's too bad then. I was hoping you could help me with a boy," she giggled, unaware of the annoyance that’d flashed over his features at the recall of an irksome memory.

"What's your name?"

"Gaara."

He uttered before he could catch himself. His voice, hoarse from centuries of unuse and almost like that of a sickly man, was strange even to himself. Then he resorted to his usual muteness right away, perplexed at how this girl could command this kind of response out of him.

"Gaara…” she echoed thoughtfully. Somehow, his name on her lips sounded right.

The line of her mouth curved upward, and she indulged him with yet another smile of hers that was etched in the depth of his mind. “I'm Sakura."

Sakura… Her name looped in his head. He nodded. How apt.

...

He never thought he’d find a destination in his aimless journeys through the seasons. He never thought that he’d find something earthly that would seize his interests in his stale timeless existence.

He didn’t care if Sakura sang less these days and instead let him have a slice of her life through her chitchats. Her songs had drawn him to her and allowed him to sleep; but truly it was her words that made him stay and gave him peace, perhaps because of the way she’d talked to him that made him feel… accepted.

"Ugh, I'm so stupid! Why did I cut my hair? Sasuke-kun is not going to like it."

Her voice carried over the tune that played in his ears from the earphones she’d lent him earlier. Slouched against the foot of her bed, he cracked his eyes open to witness the melodrama unfold from her, as she obsessively adjusted the red ribbon in her hair and played with the ends of her pink tresses that barely grazed her shoulders.

She spied on him in the reflection of the mirror. “What do you think?”

Her fingers still tangled in the strands of her hair, and she slanted her head in his direction. “Is it nice?”

Without hesitation, he gave an affirmative nod. Expectantly, he dropped his sight to the corners of her lips that lifted. He thought to himself that she was really too generous with her smiles, and he was too greedy for it…

…

Through the seasons and all the ups and downs, his eyes never strayed long from those flamboyant colors of pink, red, and green. Even in the sea of forgettable faces that crowded the schoolyard during the day, she’d always stood out to him, with her shining hair waving in the wind, her graceful movements, and her radiant laughter under the midday sun.

He didn’t let Sakura know that he’d followed her to school on the days he didn’t give two hoots about his job, which was more oft than not. From the roof of the school building, he watched as she surrounded herself with her circus of friends, and he didn’t think he’d ever be fascinated by the mundane.

Naruto, Lee, Ino… he knew about them from her narratives, but it was from his direct observations such as now that he matched the names to the personalities. He was between amused and troubled at Naruto’s bouts of rambunctious energy. He’d grunt at Lee for his mannerisms around her that were too friendly for his comfort. And he’d scowl whenever she and Ino huddled in their corner to whisper about what was apparently the object of affection of every girl in their grade:

Sasuke Uchiha…

And the source of all of Sakura’s petty afflictions, as he’d come to learn. With as simple as a flick of his fingers, he could knock the ignorant boy into a coma to never wake up. But just because he didn’t want to see Sakura shed any more precious tears over the undeserving twit didn’t mean he would refrain from inadvertently blowing a gram of sand his way. He’d rather enjoyed the scenes where the baffled teen woke up to the frown from the schoolmaster and a classroom full of jeering laughter.

When the head of pink bobbed toward the dark-haired youth who stood in solitude by the edge of the schoolyard, he narrowed his jade eyes. He tore his attention from the pair and instead let it land on the bulge in his pant pocket. Then fishing the item that’d filled the space, he studied it—the wrapped chocolate that Sakura had made and given him the night before Valentine’s Day, a deformed lump of thing that she insisted was the shape of a heart.

Being the entity he was, he had no need for any sustenance, yet he couldn’t resist biting into the dark perfection that melted on his tongue…

That night he was surprised to find her with her face buried in her pillows, her miserable sobs muffled by them. A lonely bag of chocolates sat on her nightstand. With wariness, he set his gourd down and approached her, yet he wavered at the edge of the bed. Sensing him, she twisted to her side. With her teary red eyes, she regarded him and the unsure hand that’d stopped a palm’s width from her. And on his behalf, she reached out and closed that gap built of uncertainty.

"Stay with me, please?"

From her plea he could feel her warm breath on him, as she held him. Little by little, his rigid body became accustomed to the contact and he relaxed. He lost tracks of the hours they remained this way, but he was relieved that her quivering had ceased and the wet trails on her face had thinned to a trickle.

In a hushed tone, she started, "I know what you are..."

Curiously, he angled his head toward her. He’d thought she’d given up on trying to uncover his mystery long ago.

"You are my guardian angel."

Her whisper tingled his skin, like a tender brush of hand that he couldn’t see. Upon her unexpected words, he widened his eyes at her. The smile that blossomed from the depth of her sadness to the surface was one that touched him profoundly.

And that was the first time he’d been called something other than Gaara the Sandman…

…

The punishment from the displeased gods was likely long-time coming, given how much he’d been shirking his responsibilities. The thousand whiplashes, followed by imprisonment for the better of a decade, were nowhere as punishing as the restlessness that gnawed his insides while he felt himself rotting away in the dungeon. Still, the worst of the torment was what awaited him when he gained his freedom again, at that two-story house in Konoha that’d been his rest stop from years past.

Sakura was gone.

In her dark empty bedroom, he stood. Her songs, her words, her smiles, her warmth—every trace of her was now but a fragment of his recollection. Along with the first and only person who’d ever acknowledged him and gave him significance, the meaning of his existence faded into oblivion. Once again, he was a ghost to the world.

Then he was looking, always looking. But the world was vast, and she left him no clues in his vain search. The nights in isolation were long, and he passed every single one of them, painfully awake. The bitterness and anger over the abandonment was mounting, but it all paled by comparison to his fear that such a fragile human had already ceased to exist.

Yet, with false hope, he’d always end up at the starting point day after day.

Winter, summer, fall, then came again spring… In his journeys, his footsteps had become cumbersome, weighed down by all the corrupt emotions that the gods have subjected him to at his creation. Without his anchor, he’d gotten lost, and the burning desire in him was nothing but a dying flame.

Then in the dead silence of a fateful night, the melody suddenly pierced through, jolting him out of his numbness. The dulcet tune from his distant memory was one that he’d heard countless times but never enough. It ebbed and flowed faintly in the atmosphere but resonated deeply within him, rekindling the embers of hope.

He broke into a run. The glow emitting from the house at the end of the street was the most brilliant, like the north star that guided him in the dark void. Each hurried step was light but unsteady, as every fiber of his being trembled with anticipation.

At the window where the light shone through, he came to a halt. The chorus continued to flow, louder and deeper. As he spotted the shade of rose through the window panes, so did his insides flutter violently. She was taller; there were more curves to her body. With the full head of pink, there was no mistake, even with his view limited to her back from his angle.

All the bleak thoughts he’d harbored all these years were forgotten, as the impatient need to see her face and her smile propelled his feet forward. But he fell short in his determination when a pair of onyx eyes popped over Sakura’s shoulder and darted in his direction, and he almost had the impulse to dodge out of sight.

“Good night, Sarada.”

She ended her song, as she settled a small child from her arms into bed. Her lips parted the child’s black hair and met her forehead in a loving tender kiss, drawing his eyes to the face of the young one. Just then he realized he wasn’t the audience that her lullaby had meant for.

“Nighty, Mama.”

Sakura had an offspring of her own… The resemblance was uncanny, and one name rooted in his mind like weeds.

In the next fortnight, he respected their distance but stayed close, lacking the resolve on how to approach when the currents of her cries rippled through the night air. It was always after the lullabies that Sakura retreated to her old bedroom, drowning in her own unspoken sorrows that she’d kept hidden from her young daughter. These nights she was as awake as he was, as alone as he was. The tears were incessant, and he was desperate to understand why.

Finally, he willed himself out of the shadows, unable to bear the pattern he’d let himself fallen into, with him always watching on the sidelines and his longing reined back. From one end of the bedroom where half-unpacked boxes were stacked haphazardly, he manifested himself. In such proximity, his chest tightened, and jitters pulsed through him in unrelenting waves. This nervousness was unlike him.

His desire conquering his instance of timidity, he purposefully shuffled his feet to cause her head to lift from her cradled knees. The pair of glistening green eyes underneath furrowed brows connected with his, and the beats of his palpitating heart reverberated in the quietness of the space.

So many questions he wanted to ask and so many explanations he wanted to demand, yet he found no voice as all the droning thoughts in his head clamored against one another to want to be heard first by the one who’d left him behind.

"Who are you?"

Her voice, it was different now but familiar, nostalgic… yet lethal, giving him no time to dwell on its change in pitch before pummeling him with those words.

In his denial, he yearned to bring himself closer. Another step, however, only warranted her warning.

"Don’t—don’t come any closer!"

He shattered this time. What devastated him more than her harsh imperative was the fear in her countenance, and he could feel himself sink. Shaking, he was struck by his own brittle emotions.

This feeling, one that cut him so deeply, was one that he knew all too well.

Ten years was not long enough to forget someone in his books…

So he cursed the gods, cursed them for having ever made him the god of love, even for the briefest period in history; for ever giving him a physical vessel burdened with all the mortal wants, so he could empathize with those he was foreordained to unite…

And for ever making him know of love...

With alarm, she fumbled in her position. The ruffling of papers that scattered about in her bed from her movements caught his attention. As he gave a distracted once-over at the bold texts on the white sheets, he could connect the dots on his own with the characters he made out: divorce… Uchiha…

He averted his gaze right then and there from the glaring fonts and instead laid it on her once more. With an ounce extra of effort, he chose to pass beyond the guardedness that wouldn’t evaporate from her tear-stained face and took in the details of her features. The innocence that was there in her youth had been chiseled away by the evident stress and fatigue of adulthood. The pink of her hair had visibly dimmed to a muted tone, so did the washed-out greens of her eyes. The sleep deprivation was taken its toll on her appearance. With the heavy bags under her tired eyes, she was beginning to look a lot like himself.

What a shame, she’d become just like the rest of them, with their nightly tossing and turning driven by their miseries.

But even if she’d been dealt an unfair hand by fate, her beauty would persist—this was what he still wanted to believe.

His hand waved in one fluid motion, and he had to steel himself against the panic that brimmed her expression. Sand slithered out from the opening of the gourd on his back. As the golden dusts floated in the air, catching the overhead ceiling lights and shimmering, she seemed unable to deny the fascination that eventually surfaced from her. The specks danced across the space between him and her; then in a swift swirl they rained over her.

Not even a second passed, and her eyelids shuttered. His sand rushed to balance her free-falling body before easing her onto her back. Her chest rose and fell with each steady breath. As he watched the last of her tears spilled from the corners of her closed eyes onto the pillow, he was sure the darkness that cradled her now would release her from all the worries of the world, even if it might only be temporary.

As she slept, he was finally able to bring himself closer to her side. Yet he felt the distance between them had never been greater.

So close they were, yet so far apart, as the one before him only saw a stranger in him…

Another twirl of the wrist, the sand amassed in his palm, molding and shaping itself at its master’s bidding. The open umbrella in his hand now was one that he didn't care to use for the longest time. As he held it over her sleeping form, his fingers tightened around the handle. The pictures that his magic allowed to project onto the underside of the canopy were his fondest memories of his time spent with her, the same ones that he relived in his head all these lonely years.

A part of him still hoped that their shared dream would make her remember… But her smile at him upon waking up might just be his wishful thinking.

The aches inside him throbbed without mercy. Regardless, he was firm in his newfound resolution, as he remained at her bedside.

So he'd watch over her until dawn, until the future, always and forever, to make sure she'd always sleep at night, free of any anguish; and to rid her of the demons that had stolen her sleep.

If nothing else, this was the least he could do, as her “guardian angel”:

"Sweet dreams, Sakura..."

[wellhellotragic]

If Looks Could Kill 21/27

Summary: Emma Swan is a dedicated FBI agent getting over a bad breakup. When she and her partner, Ruby Lucas, are forced to go undercover as contestants on a reality show, Emma is forced to try and win the affections of Killian Jones, a man she despises. Killian Jones is a lost boy. Having recently been nicknamed the ‘Bad Boy of Boston,’ he’s been living up to his moniker using women and rum to avoid dealing with his dark past. When he’s forced to take the lead in a reality show, he encounters a gorgeous blonde who turns his world upside down. Miss Congeniality meets The Bachelor

Rated: M for language, violence, and smut.

Catch up here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

The cabin was filled with the scent of saltwater, and it left a slightly sticky residue on his skin. It wasn’t unwelcome though; there was something comforting about waking up to the smell Liam had brought back with him every time he had leave to come into the city. Even all of the grime gathered from the train ride from port into London couldn’t dull it.

He hadn’t smelled it in years. From time to time, he would get a hint of it as he stood on the deck of his ship, but it was always fleeting, ghosting. This was the first time it had lingered long enough for him to name it since Liam’s seaside burial, and before his eyelids fluttered open, he was overcome with the intense feeling of being home.

It wasn’t home though; he didn’t have one of those anymore. Instead, he had a penthouse in the middle of the city, buildings filling the view from his windows for as far as the eye could see. His existence was hollow there, as he hid away in seclusion from anything of meaning.

But now he was there, on his ship, with that scent for the first time in years. An unfamiliar sense of belonging began to settle over him and he was certain that it had to do with the golden haired goddess laying on top of him. She was still asleep. Small puffs of air were hitting his chest as her body rose and fell with each breath. There was a calmness to her face, an innocence that he had never seen before on her.

“I can feel you watching me.”

He chuckled and felt her finally beginning to stir.

“Sorry, love, but can you blame me. It’s so very rare that you aren’t yelling at me.”

He gave her a wink and she tried to bite down a smile but failed miserably.

“Well in my defense, you didn’t seem to mind my yelling last night.”

“Oh, but, love,” he started as he gathered her in his arms and quickly flipped them other so that he was on top. “That. Wasn’t. Yelling.”

Each word was punctuated with a kiss trailing further and further down her stomach. He felt her skin tremble under the weight of his lips each time he pressed them down. Just before he reached the point where he could go no lower he looked back up to her face to see her normally green eyes filled with dark desire.

“That was you screaming my name. Should I give you a reminder?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before diving in, eliciting earth shattering moans from her before she clenched and he worked her down from her high.

“Oh, that . I remember it now.” She giggled breathlessly as he made his way back to her lips. “Being here in your captain’s quarters makes me feel like I was just plundered by a pirate.”

This - her laugh, her warmth - was heaven.

“So would that make me Captain Hook?”

Her confusion was evident until he brought his hand up between them, curling his finger into a hook as he glanced down towards the treasure he had just discovered.

“Oh my God!”

Her face flushed, and he relished in it.

“You screamed His name last night too.”

She bit down on her bottom lip and he had to hold back a groan remembering how those same teeth had bit his lip the night before.

Suddenly her eyes widened and she looked around the cabin.

“What time is it?”

“Judging by the high sun I’d say late morning. Probably around ten or eleven.”

He nearly fell off the cot when she shot up from underneath him.

“Crap!”

“Emma?”

Her breathing had picked up significantly and her eyes showed panic.

“Love?”

“Killian! It’s late, like they-probably-have-a-search-party-out-looking-for-us late.”

He hadn’t even considered it. He had been so enraptured in Emma and their carnal delights that he had neglected to consider that they weren’t really alone. Mary Margaret usually showed up around nine to go over the events for the day, and while he could tell her he had gone for a jog, he wasn’t sure that she would believe that his jog had lasted two full hours. Then there was Emma. He didn’t doubt that Ruby would attempt to cover for her, but the other girls didn’t seem like they would be quite as eager to help her.

He rose from the bed to join her in dressing. Their clothes were scattered through the room, and by the time he had located Emma’s underwear she had already pulled on her jeans, so he stuffed them in her pocket as she struggled with her sweater.

Even after forcing her to stop running down the trail, Emma was still speed walking through the woods, and he was having to jog to keep up. When the reached the edge of the woods where the trailhead met a clearing, and the mansion came back into view, she finally seemed to relax. The gardens were empty of people so no one would see either of them or their ‘walk of shame’, as Will would have coined it.

He knew that she was about to break away from him to head back into the main house, so before she could he grabbed her wrist and turned her around so that her chest was flush against his.

“What?” Her eyes were searching his.

His response came in the form of a searing kiss.

“I just need something to last me until the next time.”

The way she beamed back at him was everything, and he was just starting to lean back in for more when he heard muffled shouting. Emma had clearly heard it too, there was no way she missed it, but for some reason she chose to ignore it and leaned in to kiss him instead.

“Did you hear that?”

He tried to pull away, but her grip on him was like a vice.

“Just ignore it.”

Her attempts at distracting him continued, but the shouting became louder. As gently as he could, he pulled her arms away from him, instead interlacing his fingers with her as he pulled her in the direction of the shouting. As they approached the crew RV the voices became slightly more clear. He had noticed the RV before, but had never actually witnessed anyone using it, and his curiosity was peaked.

“Killian, stop.”

He ignored her, choosing to focus on a specific voice. A very familiar voice. Will Scarlett.

Killian’s brow creased in confusion. “What the bloody hell is he doing here?”

He looked back to Emma, but she wouldn’t make eye contact. Just then he heard another voice that he knew all too well. Robin. He shifted his gaze between the RV and Emma before moving closer to the door. He felt her tug on his hand, stopping him from moving.

“Please, Killian.”

Her eyes, now trained on him, were imploring as her voice cracked. It was the same way Milah had begged him not to push her just before he had found out about her husband. It was the pleading sound of worry and guilt.

“Please. Please, don’t do this.”

Amongst the mess of confusion barreling through him, anger rose to the surface and he wrenched his hand from her grasp, using that same hand to yank the RV door open.

The air rushed out of him.

Everyone he knew in Boston was crammed into the trailer; Robin, Will, Regina, Mary Margaret, David, Ruby, and even Graham. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was so stunned that nothing came out.

It was Graham who spoke first.

“What is he doing here? I thought you said he was occupied.”

“I thought he was.” Mary Margaret had never seemed like the type to cower but she was visibly worried by Graham’s shouting.

“Well, clearly he isn’t. And how nice of you to finally join us Agent Swan.”

There was a menacing look in his eyes as he fumed at someone standing behind him. Killian turned to see that Emma was now standing directly behind him.

“Agent Swan?”

He waited for an explanation. There had to be something, a reason that everything was crumbling around him, but all he got was a tear-stained apology. The bile rose in his throat and his body finally betrayed him as he threw up into the grass to his side.

“What the hell is going on here?”

“What the hell is going on here?”

Just before he pulled the door open, she saw pain and confusion flash across his face and she knew that she had hurt him beyond belief, if even he didn’t know what was happening yet. Now they were standing back in the conference room at the FBI office looking through mountains of paperwork, and those were the last words he had said to her. Fury; that’s all she saw now when he looked at her.

And she deserved it. There was nothing she could say to him that would lessen the pain she had caused. Just the night before he had told her of Milah’s betrayal, keeping her marriage a secret from him for years, and how much it had destroyed him. That’s when she should have told him. She had wanted to, but she had been too scared that he would leave her, so she had buried it down until she could find a way to explain it. She had waited too long though, and it was too late.

Robin and Will had tried to talk to him back at the mansion, but he was too angry and had shut everyone out. Ava had suggested to Emma that she try, but before she had been able to take more than two steps in his direction, he had backed away giving her a warning glance. His walls were up, and they were meant to keep her out more than anyone. It killed her. Regina had been the one to suggest moving the conversation to the Boston field office, reasoning that it would be easier just to show him what it was they were working on.

The ride to the office was tense. They had had to take three cars, and as Killian refused to be in the same one as her, she was riding with Ruby and Graham. None of them spoke but Emma kept catching Graham sneaking glances at her in the rear-view mirror. His jaw was tense the whole way there, and his eyes were shooting daggers at her.

Once they were in the conference room, they all took turns grabbing boxes from the file room while Killian stood by the window looking out over Boston. Her heart ached at not being able to comfort him or to even touch him. His words fluttered through her head again.

I love you.

She had been on the verge of saying it back to him as they had laid together the night before, but she had been too scared for that too, so again she had pushed it down. She couldn’t love him; it was too soon, and they barely knew each other. But as she watched him falling apart, and she felt her heart breaking in her chest, she thought ‘love’ seemed like it might be the right word. She’d never know now though.

They spent hours pouring through all of the files they had collected, looking at Tamara’s background and asking Killian to fill in gaps in his life. He assured them that he had no idea who was after him, and she almost cowered when he locked eyes with hers.

“But then again, maybe I’m not as good at reading people as I thought I was.”

She deserved that too. Regina tried to take the brunt of his anger, but he was dishing witty snarky remarks at everyone who spoke. So Emma stayed quiet, not wanting to hear whatever awful things he had to say about her. In the end, they were no closer to finding whoever had ordered the hit, and it was only with great reluctance and Regina’s reminders about the legal contract he had signed that Killian begrudgingly agreed to continue with the show. But he had one demand: he wouldn’t stay if she did. Everyone relented, not wanting to push the broken and furious man any further that they already had, and it was agreed that Emma would be out at the next rose ceremony. He was lost to her, and everything inside her felt like it was breaking.

She needed to be alone, away from all of the prying eyes and the continuing arguing, so she left and went back into the hallway. Fortunately the hallways on their floor were deserted; it was the weekend and the office only had minimal staff working. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed out there, trying to regain her composure and will the tears away. However long it was, it wasn’t long enough, because when Killian eventually came barreling through the conference doors, her world shattered once more.

He didn’t even bother to look at her as he started towards the elevator.

“Killian,” she managed in a broken tone. “Please let me explain.”

He stopped, and for just a second she let herself hope that he would hear her out. If she could get past his armor for even a moment, just long enough to make him understand that it hadn’t all been a lie, then perhaps there was some part of their relationship that could still be salvaged. But when he turned back to her, there was a rage she had never seen before. His normally bright blue eyes were dark with anger, his entire body taut. This was the Killian from the tabloid covers, the one that started drunk brawls, but his wrath was magnified by the fresh hurt.

Hope was a four letter word.

“Explain what? That you used me?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

He stepped towards her and she blanched.

“So, Swan.” His demeanor shifted and his words were eerily calm now. It was terrifying. “Do you sleep with all of your marks, or was I just an exception? Were you just trying to make sure that you still had my attention when there were so many other women around? Did it make you as sick as it makes me?”

She had to choke back a sob at that.

“It’s-”

The rest of the words caught in her mouth. He was standing right in front of her now, close enough that she could feel his breath on her face.

“So tell me, Swan, does it count?”

“What?”

He sneered.

“You asked me if it counted, when the whole thing was a lie. When the person you thought meant everything was really just manipulating you. So you tell me, now that you’re on the other side. Does it count?”

He didn’t wait for her to respond before turning back for the elevators. She had been so stunned that she hadn’t even noticed that Graham had joined them in the hallway.

“Jones, wait. Will and Robin will give you a ride back.”

Killian stepped into the elevator alone.

“I’ll find my own way back.”

The doors closed and he was gone.

“You slept with him?”

She snapped her head back to see Graham watching her with a mixture of pain and fury.

“Does it matter?”

She knew that it did. It was a fireable offense, not to mention the fact that it could have compromised the entire mission. She hadn’t cared last night though.

“You’re off this case.”

“ What?”

“You heard me. You are off this case and you’re not to go anywhere near him. You don’t even look in his general direction!”

“You can’t do that! I’m still useful. I can do research.”

He looked pissed. That was the only way to describe it.

“Are you arguing with the direct order from your superior agent?”

“You’re kidding me, right? This isn’t about my screwing up the case. This is about you being jealous and you’re trying to punish me for choosing him over you!”

They were arguing loudly and she was fairly certain that everyone on the floor could hear them.

“Your services are no longer needed here. I want you back in New York by tomorrow!”

He had the power to send her back, but she never thought he would actually do it. This wasn’t the same sweet gentle Graham she has spent months planning the mission with. The man in front of her was a deranged jealous man, and he was going to let it put Killian in danger. In fact, she was certain that Killian’s safety was the furthest thing from his mind at that point.

“You can’t do this.”

“You have two choices. Either pack up and get on the next flight back to New York, or turn in your badge.”

The firm set of his jaw proved that he had no intention of backing down.

“My badge is in my locker. Ruby can grab it for you.”

“I’ll get both of ours.” Again, she hadn’t noticed anyone join them in the hallway. Ruby was standing behind her, arms tightly crossed against her chest as she returned Graham’s glare.

“Ruby, you can’t do that.”

“I’m not going to let you do this alone, Emma. We’re a team.”

“No! God, this is just like Chicago all over again.”

Emma hoped that Ruby would understand, that she would remember their first mission. She and Ruby had still been getting to know each other and their abilities back then. They hadn’t been able to communicate with looks yet so they had set code words. ‘Chicago’ meant that one of them was to go in deep and get word to the other as soon as they could.

Ruby nodded almost imperceptibly. Confident that her friend had her back, Emma stormed off to the locker room where her wallet and cell phone were still waiting for her, along with her own personal handgun. She grabbed her badge out of the locker too, giving it one more glance. It had once been everything she had ever wanted, and now she was choosing to walk away from it. For him. As her fingertips grazed the cool metal, taking in the weight of it one last time, that word floated through her head again.

Love.

She tossed the badge back into the locker and left the building, waiting until she was out the front door to scroll through her contacts. His name popped up and she hit dial.

“Ems?”

“I need your help. Where are you?”

[cutegirlmayra]

so now that you know what infinite is like more in depth, would you do anothet infinite x amy prompt?

( x used with permission from the artist! Please support them as well! *If you’re an artist, or know good artist friends, please consider allowing me to use your art as ‘preview images’ for these prompts! I always credit and am very grateful for the permission! Thank you! And I hope you enjoy these prompts ^^ )

Wahh!? You want me to portray Infinite in love!? Isn’t that… a weakness!?!? Then again… it could also empower to a dark degree as well…

Prompt:

The final battle.

The last showdown.

I knew these pathetic rebels were no match for my power… nor my new strength.

Infinite folded his arms, floating above the mortal ordeal and looking down with judgment upon all who fought below…

Illusions… resistance… all are simply intangible… and fleeting…

He lifted a hand to caress his Phantom Ruby… Fully powered and operational… even after their attempts at destroying its power source…

I allowed myself to experience the utmost pain and agony through having the Doctor work on my weak and mortal frame… the pathetic existence that shook before a real challenge of pure, immortal power..! Heh, the fools…

He clutched tightly to the Ruby,… before shaking his head and peering down at the resistance, desperately fighting now that the sun was gone.

He would soon have to face Sonic again… which… wouldn’t be a problem.

He lowered himself a little in the air, searching…

His tail swished with each slow movement, having absolute precision. After all… although the Ruby was perfect and flawless… so much power in him caused some caution to be considered…

He had to hold back… only when making small adjustments with himself… but had no problem letting it loose… to reign over the disgusting filth of this world; smelling like fear, tasting of dust and the creatures below it… All were lower than sand. All were nothing more than frightened animals… he was now perfect. Empowered and powerful! What more could he want? What mere sacrifice on their part could stop him? What begging… he already let one go and now look what it did.

My mistake.

He chuckled in his mind, still searching for Sonic and the one that got away…

He slowly floated over the battlefield. “Next time… I’ll leave no root for hope to grow…”

Then he heard a sharp cry of might from the battlefield.

“What?” He was spooked at first and silently cursed himself for it. He would never admit it, but as his fist clenched back his futile human emotions… he knew he could never fully be the Phantom Ruby’s perfect surrogate host….

“That girl…”

He peered down, seeing more fully that a pink hedgehog charged and whammed her hammer into an illusion, shattering it’s red-cubed appearance and becoming nothing more than a faded memory…

…She’s so small…

He watched carefully, finding it amusing that something seemingly so weak and vulnerable was actually something that most flawed creatures might fear.

He swiped his body away and turned, holding his clawed hand up, his eyes still lingering on her strong image behind him. “I once had comrades of the same kind.” He tried to fight back the passing memory…

Their red blood on his hands…

“Heh. She’s not entirely like her though…” he looked back, remembering his pack’s sister…

Amy leaped skyward, the air catching her a moment to still her as if she floated in the air. The Shadow illusion looked around, before up to her swift approach.

She smashed down and shook the earth as his illusion-body was crushed before the hammer even hit the ground.

“..Impressive..” Infinite abruptly tilted his body in her direction, before she looked up. He stood as if a king above her, and held his head up to reflect such a status. “For a worm of the earth…”

“Grr…” Amy tightened her hold on her hammer, bending down as if ready to jump up and challenge him.

“You’re the one that hurt Sonic!” She spat out, “Ohhh!!! I’ve been hankering to take you down myself for what you made us all go through! Especially Sonic!”

“…Oh, you have?” He found this strangely amusing and mocked her passionate tone. He dipped his torso as if to fully see her and possibly intimidate her.

It was strangely intimate… him bowing to look more deeply into those orbs of brightly colored green… full of wrath and intoxicating love for revenging her fallen hero…

“….I would love to see you try… but…” He leaned up, as swirled his hand around her small frame from his point-of-view, floating away. “All I see is a fearful rat.”

Amy gasped as she saw the swarm of illusions, surrounding her and then advancing to ambush her.

Their soulless eyes…

She glared up at Infinite again, “You think you’re somehow better than us?!”

Offended, his prideful wrath stopped him from moving any further away. His eye widened in fury, but he remained calm to listen to what other last words she’s like to mutter…

“You’re not immune to fear!” she cried out, as she swung her hammer to strike up dust, causing the illusions to look around the dust cloud and some run into each other, tearing the other apart.

A Zavok one looked around, before being taken out by a silhouette in the dust.

“Fear can have many forms… but even the most powerful can’t predict the unknown..”

Infinite flew down, landing a foot to the ground, then another, and searching for her instead of Sonic…

“What..? You think a little trick of the dust is going to stop me?!” he lightly took some floating dirt in his hand before crushing it, and then turned to spray it at a shadowed figure…

A Metal Sonic was revealed, before something gripped his foot and tripped him, dragging him back into the dust cloud as he frantically tried to grip the ground and crawl away.

Once he disappeared, Infinite felt something odd.. a pang of his heartbeat that he had long-since thought dead.

He felt his breathing growing more rapid, and in rage at this feeling being familiar, he burst his power out and created a large wind that blew the dust away.

All there was… were illusions knocked unconscious on the ground… bursting as they faded into red cubes…

His arms pulled back, “How can this.. Where is she?!” he spun himself to and fro, looking for her.

“Rrraaa…RAAHHHH!!” he summoned another fleet of illusions that tore through the resistance, trying to find her…

“Infinite! What are you doing!?” Eggman’s voice snapped him out of his insane fixation on the girl…

“Huh?” he swiped his crazed eye towards the pulsing glow of his mask and ear… Eggman continued.

“You don’t have time for squashing insects! Have your fun AFTER you finally destroy Sonic!”

“…Consider him already deceased…” Infinite held a hand to his mask, rising up from being hunched over, mad with the thought of her blood on his hand… to mingle with the rest of the stupefied creatures that fell to his supreme power…

He was going to create this new world… he was going to rule it. Run it with power, with absolute certainty that nothing ‘bigger’ or ‘better’ was above him. He would be the ultimate… He would destroy heaven and hell itself if he had too… He would become-!

Well… there was Eggman to consider…

His technical creator…

“What are you standing around for!? Infinite! Destroy Sonic!”

…The red of his blood will soon trickle down his claws…

Just as Sonic’s would…

And all his little friends…

“As you wish… Doctor.” It was like a death sentence, but Eggman only sneered from a distance.

Hanging up, Eggman turned in his eggpod, looking down to the creation that would soon replace Infinite…

“There’s no way Sonic could win again…” Eggman thought out loud, “…But If he doesn’t…” he watched as Orbot and Cubot jumped up into view from the machine, and gave him a thumbs-up, revealing the patchwork and repairs were all ready to go!

Eggman nodded, leaning up from looking down. “This is my only real defense… against Infinite.”

-After Sonic Forces Ending-

While the team began to head home, there was a shrill through the army, and Sonic and the team turned back to see the recruits stepping back, crying out as Infinite rose flew with a hand clutching his arm…

He stepped to the ground… only to fall to his knees.

“Impossible…” his eye shook…. “How…” he looked at his hand, shaking…

“I’m… I’m still… this can’t be!!!” He leaned his head up, roaring—“NOOO!!!!”

He bent down and hit the ground furiously, before heavily breathing and about to collapse.

Amy… walked out of the crowd, only lightly stopped by Sonic reaching his hand out, but seeing she was already ahead, he withdrew it back.

“Amy… What are you doing?” Tails asked, but Knuckles quickly shook his hands out, as if trying to convince her of a point.

“Amy! You’re nuts! That’s Infinite! You know, the guy that’s been playing hacky-sack with all our forces!”

But Amy bent down anyway, without hesitation.

He glared up at her, before swiping a claw at her.

“GRAH! Get away from me!”

She leaned back, dodging, before looking with pity in her eyes.

“I don’t need your sympathy… I’ll rip out your eyes and let them stare at your ripped corpse!”

Sonic fidgeted, his feet barely moving but his whole frame splitting forward before his heels grinded the ground at Amy’s words-

“Don’t.” she didn’t even flinch or look back at him.

Dust spiraled behind his trail. No one even saw Sonic lift a leg or anything. It was just muscle reflex and clearly too fast for the naked eye…

Amy then reached forward… feeling the mask under her fingers, she gripped the corners.

She took it off to reveal it could come off.

Everyone gasped, as Infinite’s true face showed him shaking, trembling, mouth-gaped open in absolute, terrified fear.

“…This is the ghost of your nightmares?” Amy got up, before gesturing to them; an open hand towards Infinite.

Shadow’s eyes scanned the face. “…So it is you…”

Infinite ducked his head, “Tsk..!”

“This is no being of imaginable power.” Amy threw down the mask, as Infinite stared at it… defaced… by someone so small and fragile… so weak and pathetic… however…

“You’re just like the rest of us.” Amy looked over her shoulder, sorrow in her eyes. “Just because Eggman built more into you… doesn’t mean you aren’t the monster you made yourself to be. You’re not Infinite… you’re just a man.”

He spiked himself downward, grunting as if someone stabbed him in the back.

He clutched his chest, feeling a mix of the robotic parts inside of him start slowing down now that Phantom Ruby’s power was destroyed…

“You feel pain. You feel weakness… but worst of all… you let Eggman take your humanity, your heart, and you’re conscience. Without Heart and soul, friendship and will… you are no longer one of us…”

With murder in his eyes, he clutched his teeth, and slowly rolled his head up to her…

She was now on the throne that he once thought he controlled…. And he was the worm beneath her feet…

“I thought you said I was one of you…” He readied the last of his power…

“…You will always have what you were born with.” Amy didn’t even noticed the build-up, didn’t even see his hand slowly moving behind his back.

“…But you will never be more than us.”

“DIIIEEEE!!!” He swung up but was cut off by a powerful hand gripping his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

Amy stumbled away, placing a dainty, closed hand to her chest…

Sonic’s powerful aura and dominating glare froze Infinite once again in fright, and he trembled as Sonic fought against his pathetic strength left to him… and moved him down, back to his knees…

“Gr…grk…” Infinite struggled, squinting an eye as he felt his heart begin to metallic give way…

“…” Sonic only stared, before he lifted his head up. “…You are just a man…”

Infinite felt the last beat of his heart as the most painful thing he could feel.

And then toppled over.

Sonic looked down at him, already seeing that he was withering away in strength beforehand… but then closed his eyes… and gave the dead some respect.

“What… did you mean?” Amy stepped forward, “By that?” she looked down, and gasped when she realized he-

Sonic turned and put an arm to block her, turning her from seeing something so horrible as death.

He lightly whispered in her ear, “As sick and twisted as it may sound… I think he fell for your words, Amy…”

Amy twitched, unsure how to respond to that.

“He…” she could barely speak it, taking some dryness in her mouth and forming spit, swallowing it in to try and attempt at calming herself down. “..Loved me?”

“No, not loved.” Sonic correctly, gently nudging her away from the body as the crowd started to murmur and swarm around it.

“…He envied your strength. The natural strength I don’t think… he could ever obtain.”

“My… strength?”

“Your heart and insight, Amy.” Trying to shield her from the reality of morbid things, he covered her eyes a second after winking to her, as the army began kicking the body and screaming out names of those he had killed in his path to dark power.

“You were too much… for someone who had lost everything. Seeing someone who already had everything… I guess you could say he was envious.”

“Sonic…”

Amy let him lead her blindly, but he could feel the tears slightly forming, seeping through his glove.

“It’s okay, Amy… but he doesn’t deserve your tears.”

She dipped herself down and pushed her hands up against own, crying into his hand…

“Why!? Why didn’t he understand! Why was he so obsessed with-?”

“Amy…” Sonic felt a little uncomfortable, but knew that Amy would cry over anyone’s death… no matter how evil… she would mourn for the despair of an ended life.

He smiled though, that was part of her charm.

He rubbed her back, “Don’t worry. Life doesn’t always provide the answers to those questions… but sometimes… there really is none.”

“Sonic… what does power mean to you?” Amy removed his hand and looked up to him.

Looking down at the soaked glove, Sonic smirked slightly before gripping it tightly, feeling the wetness… then nodded to Amy.

“You, Amy.”

It was the most sincere and confusing thing she had ever heard.

“Power means to protect you… and everyone else that needs it. I won’t turn my back on a friend who needs me.”

Amy tenderly accepted that reply, and then looked to his hand. “…But what… Does power mean to me?”

He shook his head, “Now you’re thinking too hard about all this.” He patted her hands under his wet one, trying to cheer her up, but glad her mind wasn’t on Infinite anymore.

“Just trust me. You have an inner and outer strength to ya. But it’s the inner one that terrifies the living daylights out of most men.” He winked charmingly, a compliment that came out a little bittersweet, but Amy sighed in relief to it.

“Okay…” she faintly replied. “I guess I’ll accept that answer.”

“It’s probably the only one life will grant ya.” He continued joking, taking his hands away and placing them on his hip. “Shall we?” he offered for her to move further away from the scene with him.

She almost looked back but he quickly blocked her sight with his hand again.

“Heh… best to not dwell on the past… right?”

She realized then that he was keeping her from the brutal scene… and also from looking at a dead body too long too… she had never seen death before….

She nodded, averting her eyes at his indirect command, and letting him defend her from that world…

The world… Infinite sowed himself…

(I think this is how Infinite would show interest in his current -true to game state-, just because he had already lost so much humanity… but, anyway,... I hope this works :) )

[illyriantremors]

Beneath the Stars Bonus Chapter I: A Whisper of Darkness [Moriel]

Chapter: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI  Epilogue

AO3 Linkage

Summary: After spending all weekend vacillating over the school dance, Morrigan decides she can't take Az's silence any longer. With a helping push from Feyre, she goes to confront the boy she's been crushing on for two years. An extension of Chapter 14.

A Whisper of Dust

“Rhys!” I hissed into the tent, making no attempt to keep my voice down. “Rhysand!”

My cousin groaned. “What the hell, Morrigan?”

“What’s wrong?” Az sat up at the sound of my voice and my heart sped up just looking at him. His hair was tousled from lying on his pillow and he sounded groggy, but he was wide awake now. I nearly forgot what I had come for.

Azriel. Right.

“Get out. I need to talk to Az.”

“You can talk to him in the morning. Normal people are sleeping right now.”

“Normal people want you to get out of this tent!” He grunted, already falling back asleep in his sleeping bag. I sighed and resisted the urge to grab him and throw him out myself. I could take him. “Please, Rhys,” I whined, hating that it had to come down to this - begging. “It’s important. And you know... Feyre’ll be awful sorry you aren’t sharing a tent with her like I promised.”

“What?”

Sucker.

“You owe me,” he said, snatching his pillow and shoving past me. I made to grab the pillow - I had zero intentions of giving him back this tent tonight - but he kept it out of my hands. “Share with Az, shit.”

Rhys climbed out of the tent and I crawled inside taking his place, zipping the tent up behind me. When I turned around, Azriel was propped up with either hand on the ground behind him staring at me and...

We were alone.

My throat went dry as I tried to swallow my anxiety.

“Here,” Az said, dragging his pillow out to cover a portion of where Rhys’s had lain. “You can take mine.”

“No!” I practically screeched, jumping out of my crouch and landing on all fours nearer him where I could smell his scent, like the leather of his jackets and a deep summer rain.

Az stared at me thoughtfully and I realized he was waiting for me to say something. Mother above, I must have sounded like a spastic idiot. “We can share… maybe?”

My voice was much softer the second time around, squeaky even. The corner of Az’s mouth gave a twitch and then he was sliding the pillow perfectly into place with a little pat where I could lay my head next to his.

Az laid down, his hands resting comfortably on his stomach, avoiding my gaze all the while as I took my spot next to him. My shoulder brushed into his roughly as I fell back against the pillow and I could feel how hard the muscles in his arm were, dragging me back to how he had looked fighting Cassian out on the first day… in all that mud… shirtless.

Again I found myself trying to swallow on a dry throat to get rid of my nerves to no avail.

Even the fact that I was nervous in the first place drove me batty. This was Azriel! My friend. My tutor. My… something.

He didn’t know how mindlessly in love with him I was. He didn’t even need to know that much really. I just wanted to go to the dance with him. The love part could come later, assuming he even wanted to go to the dance in the first place. Because he might not want to go - with me at least. There could be someone else and then I’ll have turned up in this tent sharing half a pillow with the person I’d taken pointless tutoring lessons from for two years just to be around him more… for nothing.

Shit, what would I tell him if he said no? What would I do if he turned me down? I’d already kicked Rhys out and there was no way my cousin wasn’t in Feyre’s tent right now doing heaven only knew what. I couldn’t kick him out again, but if Azriel said he didn’t want me here...

Oh hell. What the fuck did I just do.

I needed to -

“Morrigan?”

His voice was so deep, rich and soft like velvet. The intensity of it pulled my head to the side where I found Azriel staring at me, a question lingering in his dark hazel eyes that rooted me to the spot. Oh, I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Azriel?” I said finding my voice in the dark. Looking at him, it was hard not to feel steady.

“Was there something you…”

His voice - that smooth midnight voice - trailed off allowing me the freedom to choose what came next. I listened to his breathing, low and even, and let it ground me into the earth before I spoke.

“Azriel I like you and I want you to take me to the dance next month please.”

DAMN IT MORRIGAN.

The words flew out of my mouth in a heated rush that was nearly incomprehensible. So much for being graceful. At least I had only said like instead of love. I hadn’t jacked it up completely.

Azriel’s brow was furrowed. “I’m sorry, Morrigan,” he said with an edge of playfulness, “but can you say that again - slower?”

I let loose a shaky breath and willed the words to come out evenly. “I said - I like you and I want you to take me to the dance next month, please.” Azriel stared at me as though waiting for more and in my lunacy, I babbled on. “Only if you want to, of course. Because you totally don’t have to, though I really want you to and - oh my gosh, please just say something.”

“No,” he said and for a moment, I felt my body turn into lead weighing me down as that single word rang through me. But then Az continued. “That’s not what I meant when I asked you to repeat yourself.”

“But I…” I licked over my lips once trying to get over the tightly locked cage of butterflies dancing around my stomach. “You asked me to repeat the question, so… so I did?”

Az shook his head. “No, not the question. My name.” And that’s when I felt his hand against mine in the space between us. I hadn’t even realized he’d moved it. Just a soft brush of his scarred and mottled skin against my own as the back of our hands touched, his fingers threading through mine searching for me in the dark. And still, I couldn’t move, but for entirely other reasons now that had less to do with Azriel’s rejection and more to do with that cage of butterflies inside of me bursting wide open. And then he spoke again with so much quiet need, I felt pinned to his every word.

“Will you say my name again?” his voice barely more than just a whisper. “Please, Morrigan.”

I don’t know if it was the fact that his name off my lips gave him so much release that he would crave it so ardently, or if it was the way he said my own name that sent me spiraling, but after that I would have denied him nothing.

“Azriel.”

His hand fully encompassed my own and gave a little squeeze. A silent thank you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I tossed my free hand up in the air and let it fall dramatically against me with a dull thump as I turned back to gaze at the ceiling of our tent. “I don’t know. I guess I was just nervous that you wouldn’t feel the same way. For two years I have been shoving these perfect test scores under your nose-”

“Almost perfect,” Az interrupted. “You miss two to five points on every test.”

“That’s because I do it intentionally! If I get too perfect, you’ll ditch me for some brunette who actually can’t do math.”

“Nah, I would never.” My head swiveled back to look at him lightning fast. “Blondes are really more my type, so I don’t think she’d be a brunette.”

“Oh!”

“I’m kidding - Morrigan, I’m kidding. You are…” and his voice quieted again, “the only girl I have wanted to tutor or otherwise for quite some time. I would never stop unless you didn’t want me to.”

“Really?”

And somehow, just the simple act of watching him nod his head and say, “Really really,” with the ghost of a smile creeping up on his face had joy radiating up and down my body. Hyper aware of where our hands and arms met, I asked him again, “So… about that dance.”

A low rumble in Azriel’s chest was my sole reply, begging me to go on. And still ever the babbling moron, I went straight back into overdrive.

“Only if you want to! If it’s just a tutoring thing or a friend thing, that’s totally fine. One hundred percent, a-okay with me. Really.”

“Mor-”

“Because I know you could have asked me already if you had wanted to go with me, so me asking you now could totally be a worthless cause. I mean, you could have asked me at school when Eris asked me or anytime really. But you didn’t ask me, so that means you probably don’t want to go with me.”

“Mor, I-”

“Or oh, maybe you already have someone you’re going with?? And that’s fine! I can go back to my own tent now if you’d rather not go with me or-”

“Morrigan.” His free hand cupped my face, his body turning on his side a little to better face me, but he didn’t dare let go of that hand snuggled between us held so firmly in his own. “I like you too. Immeasurably. Will you go to the dance with me?”

And I swear to the gods above, I squeaked. High pitched and ridiculously exuberant right down to the cheerleader core of me - I squeaked.

And then I kissed him.

Without thought. Without question. I kissed him, my hand sliding over the rough patches of his chin and jaw where he’d neglected to shave from being gone on our trip. The hair tickled against my skin as my fingers slid further up to run through his soft, delicate hair. I’d wanted to touch it for so long. Thought about it every time I sat next to him going over Calculus homework but was always too afraid to do it for fear he might jump back the way he sometimes did with his hands. Damn it all, it was worth the wait.

And Azriel - he did not recoil one bit. A second in which I felt his body freeze next to me when our lips met was all the hesitancy he showed before I felt his lips melt into mine. He felt soft and sweet, and he took his time exploring the feel of me before I felt his tongue press gently against my lips begging for further access which I granted right away.

Ugh, his tongue!

I could have lived off the taste and feel of it for an eternity. The further he pulled me in, discovered every inch of me, the quicker we dove into the kiss we’d both been waiting years for. And when I moaned into his mouth, it unleashed him completely and we found ourselves reaching across the sleeping bags and blankets, pulling ourselves into one another until we were so tightly tucked together, we were never letting go again.

I settled my head into the crook of his neck as his arms wrapped completely around me when the kiss finally broke off, enjoying the feeling of nestling against his chest. He was so, so warm. I’d never felt anything like it, not with anyone I’d ever been with.

And it made me wonder if this was one of the ways a person knew what love felt like - when it felt like being home. Warm and right and… like Azriel.

“Is that why you wouldn’t talk to me all weekend?” Az asked. “Because I hadn’t asked you out to the dance?”

I sighed, burying my face into his chest in the hope he might not hear me. “Yes and no. I think it was more the fact that I was scared what it might mean that you hadn’t asked me. I wasn’t sure how you felt and it had been two whole years of us dancing around each other, so when the opportunity came so obviously and you didn’t ask, I thought maybe it meant I was wrong and you didn’t feel the same way. Now I just wish I had said something sooner. If I had known-”

“Hey,” he said, picking up my chin and bringing my face up to meet his. “Don’t do that to yourself. I think we ended up perfectly in the end, exactly the way we were supposed to.”

“Az,” I sighed, a soft smile taking over me.

“And besides. You really ought to have missed more like five to ten points per quiz if you’d really wanted my attention, but obviously your grades were more important than-”

I gasped in outrage even as I could see the grin spreading on Azriel’s face. “I can’t believe you would-”

My words died off as Azriel’s lips came crashing down on me all over again spreading that irresistible warmth and comfort of his tingling all over my body. I spared half a moment to hope that Rhys and Feyre were comfortable next door. So long as I was with Azriel, I had zero intention of leaving this tent for the rest of the night.

And neither did he.

xx

[tube-thoughts-blog]

tube thoughts vol. 7

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

Rifftrax presents "Cool As Ice" --1991-- *Snow aka Justin Bieber gives Bella Swan goosebumps and crotch-rocket road rash.* 3 stars with riffing or running from zero to 1 star without

"Dumb and Dumber To" ---2014--- *Sloppy seconds.* 2 stars

VH1 --sneak peak-- "Suave Says" --2014-- *A "thrilling" inside look into the post music career, current evangelical motivational speaking venture, and wealthy domestic drama of a one hit wonder pop star from wayback in 1991. Gerardo aka Rico Suave.* 1/2 a star

"That's My Boy" (2012) *Topics like underage student and teacher sexual relationships and incest are dealt with maturely by Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, and Vanilla Ice. Of course not, but this isn't even creatively controversial or riotously raunchy in any remarkable way. It's just another formulaic Adam Sandler movie that hits all the same notes as usual.* either zero stars or 1 star

The Tom Green Show -Rogers Community Tv- -The Comedy Network- (1998) *Bemused, pertubed, fumed. These are just a few of the reactions Tom illicits from anyone not in on the joke.* 2 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of Laughing in the Dark *"Pick the right door, and you'll go free. Pick the wrong door, and there he'll be." He being a cigar puffing, nightmarish, funhouse clown.* 3 stars

"Housebound" ---2014--- *"An active mind in an inactive environment." The Brits make a superbly spooky mystery with dry and subtle humor.* 3 stars

"Chonda Pierce On Her Soapbox" (1999) *Folksy entertainment variety and jubilee from a real life Peggy Hill.* 1 star

Buckmasters -Young Bucks- "The Misadventures of Bubba" (1992) *Near fatal hunting accidents hilarity with a Jim Varney caricature.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

"Dancing Outlaw, Jesco White" (1991) & Jesco Goes to Hollywood (1994) *''Sorrow, hatred, and madness. '' "If you wanna get to heaven, you got to raise a little hell."* Heaven for Jesco is dancing at Elvis' star on the Hollywood walk of fame and guest starring on Roseanne or huffing fumes.*        3 stars

Fargo: The Crocodile's Dilemma *"What's the policy? See, I'm sort of a student of institutions." Billy Bob Thornton can play indifferent malice like no other.* 3 stars

15 Storeys High: The Sofa *Lord Snooty's couch, club card, co-opting of other people's conundrums, and crisis 'cause he can't stand to be cuddled.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

12:01 Beyond-- Christmas Special 2014 -------------------------------

*World Friendship Society - Please Just Go (music video)* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Le Passage (movie trailer): More badass than Home Alone and Rambo.*          3 stars

*Lobo for the charity "Socks for Tots" gently used socks for children at Christmas at the North Pole. Lonely odd socks for lonely odd kids.* 2 1/2 stars

*Ninja, the Mission Force: "Clam chowder can only mean a ninja challenge."*     2 1/2 stars

*Lobo argues the Holiday Blues with his potted plant, Ms. Mittens.*         between 2 & 2 1/2 *

*Fleischer Studios - Superman - The Arctic Giant: A kaiju nearly destroys Metropolis and swallows Lois whole.* 3 stars

*Treevenge: sentient x-mas trees turn the tables on crass Christmas celebrations and begin tearing the merry folk to shreds.* 3 stars

*Lobo fills holiday stockings full of leftover Halloween Candy.* 2 1/2 stars

*Lobo meets Ro-Man the Robot Monster from the 1950s B sci fi movie, at the north pole, and suggests he kidnap Santa Claus.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*Reverse Pharmacology: Incredibly hilarious imagined symptoms of a placebo taken by medical test subjects under lab conditions.* close to 3 stars

*Pueblo Sleep Solutions presents 'The Bedtime Bruiser' (commercial)*               2 1/2 stars

*Don't Open Till Christmas (movie): Scotland Yard is on the case of serial slayings of Santas.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

*Lobo gets an 8 track player for X Mas* 2 stars

*The Lobo (DC Comics character, not the guy from the 12:01 skits) Paramilitary Christmas Special: The Easter Bunny hires the meanest bounty hunter in the galaxy to hunt down and take out the fat man and his elves.* 3 stars

*Sleigh Runner: The Communist tradition of Christmas is put to an end by a Eastern European Rob Zombie lookalike cowboy killer.* 2 1/2 stars

*Happy Holidays to all the fans of the New Mission Impossible (tv series).*          3 stars

*"This Christmas forget milk and cookies. He wants blood." TWo Front Teeth (low budget movie trailer). The elves in this flick look pretty nightmarish and the characters, especially the black cowboy, look interesting. Interest peaked.* 3 stars

*Republic Pictures Serial -The Crimson Ghost- Chapter 3- The Fatal Sacrifice:  The Crimson Ghost's hideous high wire act.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*The metal band HEMI perform the song Dust to Dust live in a club.*           close to 3 stars

*Neon Harbor presents Space Ninja the animated movie: A cyber dystopia mixed with feudal Japan. technology and swordplay eyecandy-gorgeous must see for me.* 3 stars

*Ro-Man mistakenly beheads Santa for Lobo who claims no responsibility for the death of the mythical character.* 2 1/2 stars

*Action International Home Pictures presents the "Gruesome Holiday shocker." "Elves" starring Grizzly Adams (retro movie trailer)* 3 stars

*Vinegar Syndrome presents on Blu Ray "You Better Watch Out" aka "Christmas Evil": And they've added a beautifully twisted painted portrait of the movie's tragic hero on the box art.* 3 stars

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tales from the Crypt: The Ventriloquist's Dummy *Pathetic weirdo and hack ventriloquist comedian Bobcat Goldthwait's idol Don Rickles isn't really a retired, bitter legend of ventriloquism. He's actually a prisoner of his own responsibility to keep his beautiful-woman-hating, conjoined twin freak brother from ever killing again.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Deadline ----------

*Writing obituaries does seem like the typically morbid Summer job that a Springwood teenager would have.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

*Springwood, where suicidal teenagers wish they were dead so that they can be reunited with their ghost bff(s) and douchebag, ponytailed dreamlovers.*      2 stars

---------------------------------------------

Red Shoe Diaries: Safe Sex *A smooth talker brings a sad, vulnerable business professional lady in out of the rain, and she still makes him wear a raincoat in bed. So, so, softcore stories sent in to a personal ad's post office box and then picked up and retold by shadowy anywhere North America David Duchovny character, which is nice trimming for the show, but damn is the sensitive lite soul torch singing background music awful. I prefer a cheesy, solo saxophone over this -Lifetime For Women lyrics- boner killing tripe.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Brian De Palma's "The Black Dahlia" (2006) *I'm a sucker for Los Angeles noir settings, slaughtered pretty girls like Laura Palmer, and conspiracy art like Alan Moore's From Hell.* 2 1/2 stars

Transparent: season 1 -episode 1 *Three self absorbed siblings can't see past themeselves enough to be aware of their father for what he truly is and themselves for what they might actually be. The conservative side of me wants to say that this is more of liberal Hollywood's agenda to undermine traditional America by saying everyone secretly wants and would be happier with an alternative lifestyle. Also, I can't remember the last time I saw so many aesthetically interesting (not exploitive or trying too hard to be sexy) glimpses of comfortable nudity.* 3 stars

Weird Science: Cyrano DeBraniac *"The savage game of sexual attraction" requires all of one's synapses to be firing and it doesn't hurt to have a time and space manipulating genie, who's also sexy, to unzip Einstein's undead brain out of the fourth dimension.*             2 1/2 stars

Thundarr the Barbarian: Den of the Sleeping Demon *A pair of clumsy junior adventurers, and their huge bird friend, help rebury a genetic research monstrosity that was given a high voltage reawakening.*      3 stars

--- Swamp Thing: The Dark Side of the Mirror

*Everyone in this town is so stupid and easily manipulated that Arcane could have probably just walked up to the new determined district attorney, at dinner in a fancy restaurant, and shot him in the head, instead of genetically mutating the musclebound moronic deputy into a Swamp Thing double assassin.

The town formed an extremely enraged mob, in a matter of minutes, and even the longest running protagonist human characteron the show (Jim's mom) is willing to throw her morals aside for blind vengeance.

Thank goodness Jim's brother Will, the new female lead Kari Wuhrer, and Swamp Thing are decent characters.

I'm glad for the upgrade from Jim to Will. Will is a better character and it gives the show more of an adult cast and less of a Timmy fell down the well and needs to be saved, each week, routine.

Still, some of the acting is low quality from the extras.

Feels like they used the stunt man from the fight scenes to do the lines, to save money, when it would have been better to switch him out for a real actor.*

between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

--------------------------------------------------

Paranormal State: season 1 -episode 17 *A wild goose chase for the legendary Mothman. The leader of PRS probably doesn't realize how much he comes off like X Files' Fox Mulder as he keeps repeating the phrase "I want to believe."* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Kolchak, the Night Stalker: The Sentry *"Don't linger in the shadows." It will "rile the bile" about lizard-men living deep within the earth where corporations and shadowy government organizations are storing their darkest secrets. The most daring reporter,ever, of tabloid monster mysteries makes his last (documented) stand down there.* 3 stars

"Room 237" (2012) *"The past doesn't exist." But film historians, and fans, are still dissecting the ghost of Stanley Kubrick and the symbolic filmic events surrounding the almost mythical Overlook Hotel.* 3 stars

Lucio Fulci's "Conquest" (1983) *Cro-Magnon man was ruled by a cruel dominatrix / naked lady performance artist / new-age goddess, along with her band of fanatical furries. That is until Ronnie James Dio & Luke Skywalker changed things. Conquest establishes itself apart from other low budget and dumb sword & sorcery flicks, of the early 1980s, with its dreamlike aesthetic and gore-crazy practical special fx.*   between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Begotten" (1990) *Imagine a super 8mm National Geographic hallucination of twitching, early 20th century mental patients being tortured and abused in the ruins of a 19th century pastoral southern gothic wasteland lurked over by pre-modern-civilization tribal sacrificial rites that are even more hellish and nightmarish than actual pagan practices predating contemporary times. Black mold on the walls of farmhouses with sun peeled paint and holes in the tin roof where the sound of dripping rain and viscus is constant on rusting metal surfaces that lie just beyond open rock quarries crawled over by lepers, in rags, dragging shaved and mutilated Christ-like figures who spew black stigmata from their weeping eyes and mouths.* 3 stars

Squidbillies: Taint Misbehavin' *A dying Dan Halen requires the citizens of Dougal County to join him in the paradise of the afterlife. Granny and Early get giddy because they mistakenly believe they're going to a resort town in Tennessee, when they're actually heading for the ancient Egyptian land of the dead.* 2 1/2 stars

Workaholics -2015 Season- --preview trailer-- *Some Comedy Central money went into a 2 minute parody of the new Mad Max movie, popular crime tv shows like Sons of Anarchy, strippers, bullet porn fx, and "cool" explosions.* close to 2 1/2 stars (for the misguided effort)

Hannibal: Apéritif *The mongoose meets the cobra.* 3 stars

Jonny Quest: The House of the Seven Gargoyles *An icy fate for an acrobatic dwarf creeping around a castle posing as a gothic statue and trying to choke his unsuspecting victims.* 3 stars

Dr. Who (4th Doctor - Tom Baker): The Android Invasion *A Benedict Arnold astronaut returns from being lost in space, now brainwashed by aliens carrying a shipment of human replicants and a deadly virus.* 3 stars

Farscape: Jeremiah Crichton *Crichton becomes a castaway on green planet inhabited by a tribal, and somewhat peaceful people, although there is some jealousy when the daughter of the chief becomes smitten with Crichton. After spending part of a cycle looking for Crichton, Rigel and Dargo find him all scruffy and weather beaten. In a Return of the Jedi C3PO twist, Rigel is the tribe's prophesized messiah and the three must save these exiled, forced by forcefield to be primitive people, or else be sacrificed themselves due to stupid politics and a conspiracy of priestly hierarchy.* 3 stars

Bob & Margaret: For Pete's Sake *Bob's brother is a pretentious tv chef, and when he gets a gig in India, Bob and Margaret have to look after his two annoying brats.* 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Dark Music *The power to control demonic forces, living in the root cellar, lies in the sounds on the radio. A tired of being picked on paperboy uses this knowledge to payback the scummy metal-head bully next door and his mean, little sister.*       3 stars

"The Initiation of Sarah" (1978) *This feels like a hazy 70s tv movie version of Carrie the college years. Two sisters pledge and go through the occult like Greek sorrority ceremonies. The good looking one gets picked by Morgan Fairchild's meangirl sisters and has to be cruel to the other. The timid one has her telepathic powers exploited by a witch wannabe Shelly Winters in the rival plain Jane house complete with a maze backyard.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

---Thrashin'--- (1987) *Square jawed Josh Brolin is too straight laced to be taken seriously by skatepunks in the 80s L.A. skatescene. The leader of a gang of Lost Boys also wants Brolin to stay away from his out of town and just visiting, Idaho pretty tomato younger sister. It hits all the right notes for an 80s extreme sports fun adventure flick.* 2 1/2 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Fitting Punishment *A cheapskate ghetto mortician is willing to cut corners no matter the cost to human decency. He embalms using dirty tap water. He buys cheap coffins from China. He clips out the gold and silver teeth of the deceased. He even blames his orphaned nephew for being a financial burden and cripples him, then sells his Air Jordans to pay medical expenses. When that's not enough, he murders him and saws him a foot shorter above the ankles so that he can stuff the boy into a cheap coffin for Chinamen.* 3 stars

Hill Street Blues: Film At Eleven *Llama stolen from the zoo and almost used in a slumland apartment voodoo ceremony. Cops style film crew documenting the precinct. Herman Dracula, alledged wannabe vampire. It's funny until he commits suicide in his private cell. Ballistics confirms that they've found the handgun used in the near fatal shooting of officers Renko & Hill. Relief comes with uncertainty. It's raining in the police station, the roof is leaking and everyone is getting the flu because of it. This show can't help but end on a melancholy note due to all the lingering emotions. Rollercoaster, as usual.* 3 stars

Tru Tv- --South Beach Tow-- --Bernice's Top 20-- *"Best of" countdown of fake reality show beatdowns by an angry black woman?* 1 star

Botched: Vagina Bomb! *The same network (E!) that encourages viewers to idolize trainwreck celebrities and their fake bodies, also exploits sick individuals who've butchered their own bodies in order to achieve that phony Hollywood dream. Of course this show is under the guise of "fixing" plastic surgery mistakes, but the client/patient usually receives even more body enhancements and still looks like a nightmare.* either zero stars or 2 stars

True Detective: The Long Bright Dark *Heathen homicide in a hick shit-haven where if one doesn't parrot the standard beliefs of others, and oddly speaks in a stream of consciousness like Cormac McCarthy, then one's peers tilt their heads and cock their ears like a confused dog in misunderstanding and disbelief.* 3 stars

---- New Year's Movie Marathon ---------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Time Runner (1992) *Spoilers, for The Force Awakens, ahead. Be Warned. Years after Return of the Jedi, Luke is having a midlife crisis and skynet is using star destroyers to blow up Los Angeles. So he travels back in time to the Washington Canadian border getting in ugly rental car chases with human looking alien Rae Dawn Chong and gunning down well armed baddies, along side the goofy deputy from Twin Peaks, & watching  their hilarious death throes. All while making sure Senator Palpatine can't prevent Seth Rogen and James Franco from nuking North Korea thirty years in the future. Make sense?* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: 12 To The Moon                      ---plus---                       "Dream to Design" -short- *The woman of the future visits the satellite of love and turns the robots crow and tom servo into kitschy househould appliances. meanwhile, the united nations of nasa proves earth's worthiness to the lunar neighbors.*                     2 1/2 stars with riffing and between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without

Terry Gilliam's "Brazil" *A depressed Da Vinci with his wings clipped by the dulled scissors that society can no longer cut all the red tape with.* 3 stars

Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" *In my life of relative ease, I watch this movie on my cheap consumer electronics provided for me by workers in horrible third world conditions.*           3 stars

"Starry Eyes" (2014) *Ambition. Attrition. Ascension. All the way from Hooters Girl who can't get taken seriously at low-grade movie auditions to transforming into a Hollywood harlot comes at the price of one's soul taken by the Satanists who run the movie industry and helped sanctified with blood and betraying those closest also climbing the ladder.* close to 3 stars

"Messiah of Evil" (1973) *What if, after Thanksgiving, America honored the Donner Party Massacre by having Black Friday be masses of mad people tearing into raw red meat at supermarkets? This flick is like the eerie calm before an apocalypse. Too weird, almost, to describe, and if one tried to, a bug would appear on their tongue and they would cough up insects and lizards.* 3 stars

"Strange Days" (1995) *"Memories were meant to be forgotten. They were designed that way." Let old acquaintance as well. 20 year old predictions about the new century, by James Cameron, are still pretty relevant. Questions about the abuse of police force. Urban upheaval and riots. Voyeurism being a social media (though it's not as seedy as it's imagined in this movie).Things James Cameron got a little off are plenty too. Musicians stopped being, for the most part, political messengers. Trainwreck skank rock queens like Courtney Love aren't nearly as talented as James thinks or as worth going through hell over, but they're still a huge part of the media's obsession. Found footage and virtual reality may just be entertainment fantasy, but the themes in this movie are played out daily on actual viral videos.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Max Headroom: Academy *What if corporations had their own legal systems? What if a death penalty trial was turned into a tv game show? Viewers of the HLN network sort of get to experience this. What if criminal profiles were assigned to innocent people who fit a certain stereotype? Wait a minute....* 3 stars

Joe R. Lansdale's "Cold In July" (2014) *A considerate and well adjusted family man has to stand his ground, on shaky legs, but isn't in the overzealous camp of his hometown neighbors who wanna pat him on the back for it. He never feels right about the incident and his remorse pulls him into a world of Dixie mafia killings, Texas Mexico border crime, and a friendship with a flamboyant and dogged private detective and the deeply burdened man who mistakenly stalked the family man's family when he was wrongly convinced the family man slayed his son in the stand your ground incident. In a bizarre twist, the three men come together to help the deeply burdened man solve his burden of putting down his wayward son who's making snuff films with hookers. It reminds me a lot of William Devane's "Rolling Thunder," another revenge flick with a lot of bitter sorrow and dark themes.*      3 stars

The Tom Green Show -Rogers Community Tv- --The Comedy Network-- (1998) *Tom is an absurdist comedian who can sometimes be traditionally clever in his humor. He drinks purple koolaid with a cult who worship an alien version of Jesus Christ's brother, he ruins an Elvis impersonator street performance and almost gets his ass kicked for it, and he continues to try to prove he's the biggest idiot in the room.* close to 2 1/2 stars

The Prisoner: The Schizoid Man *The Village have number 6 convinced he's twice the man he was using an uncanny double.* 3 stars

Game of Thrones: season 3 episode 7 *"People work together when it suits them, they're loyal when it suits 'em, they love when it suits 'em, and they kill when it suits them."* 3 stars

"Under the Skin" (2013) *Scarlet Joe Handsome is an enticing alien, in a black wig and brightly painted lips, driving around Scotland, in a pedo van, indifferently observing all the quiet, everyday human suffering and luring horny, confused men back to her abandoned building / nest / spaceship(?) --where they step sinking into a surreal black pool of liquid.* either 1/2 a star or 2 stars

American Horror Story- -Coven -The Replacements *Sober Santeria. What other show is going to have a pothead, white trash mom molest her patchwork monster, back from the morgue, college boy son? or let a juicy and morbidly obese black virgin finger herself in front of a minotaur? not many spring to mind.* 3 stars

Gargoyles: The Edge *Zanatos uses the steel clan and a Tony Stark type tech gargoyle suit to frame the real gargoyles for the museum heist of 'the eye of Odin,' in order to have the cops chasing them all around town and scare them into coming back under the wings of his 'protection,' which would have the gargoyles inprisoned in a research lab.* 3 stars

Rifftrax - Total Riff Off - Man vs. Monster *"Meeting the channel's factual quota, we now return to the bullshit." Rifftrax skewers another one of those pretentious explorer douchebags, from National Geographic Wild,  that are always trying to turn a simple creature of nature into a tall tale monster.* 3 stars with riffing 1 star without

Son of the Beach: With Sex You Get Eggroll *satire of sex slaves and sex jokes, both smartly done.* 3 stars

Carman -Yo Kidz! -The Vidz *Gnarly Jesus dudes, hip musical kids, and cumbersome cat costumes.* 1 star

Morton Downey Jr.: Cults *A man who once had a cult-like tv audience examines mind control organizations and self-help pseudo-religions.* close to 3 stars

Mel Brooks in "High Anxiety" *Side-splitting neuroses.* 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Korman's Kalamity *A cartoonist's monstrous creations come to life after years of nagging from an abusive spouse and his recent forced use of an experiment male potency medication.*  2 1/2 stars

"Al-TV" -April Fools Day 1984 *"I could just watch videos all day until my brain turned to mush. Couldn't you?" Weird Al takes over MTV from its bland video disc jockeys and turns the channel into the absurdity it should be.* 3 stars

"Traxx" (1998) *"Be good, be gone, or be dead." Shadoe Stevens is one tough cookie as he parodies every 80s action hero vigilante and western cowboy cliche come to clean up a Troma version of a Texas town in one of the weirdest, left field comedies ever.* 3 stars

Hippies: Protesting Hippies *Simon Pegg tries to spark a Y2K revival of the comedic rebelliousness of The Young Ones with a Britcom That 60s Show.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Northern Exposure: Pilot Episode *A "Jew, New York doctor" finds unspoiled land, wildlife, hell... even people (patients) "just waiting to be fondled" in middle-of-nowhere, Alaska.* 3 stars

X Files: Space *Otherworldy phantom sabotaging shuttle missions. A study on how stifled and subdued the space program has become.* 2 1/2 stars

"Freaks, Nerds, and Weirdos" -MTV (1994) *MTV NEWS looks at Generation X's social outcasts like nerdy hipster college kids, quirky celebrities, and alternative musicians and they talk about their struggles with being different from "the norm." Ironically, the show is framed with commercials featuring beautiful skin care and fashion model young people bragging about how great it is to be one of the in group of the beautiful ones.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Myth of the American Sleepover" (2010) *The last bittersweet days of Summer and the pre-conceived notion of sublimity for a group of suburban teenagers. Indie movies about the adolescent rite of passage to adulthood aren't as fun as exploitation flicks about the same thing, but the delicate and thoughtful manner in which the subject matter is approached allows for more personal reflection for the viewer.* close to 3 stars

Turner Classic Movies: Beneath the Planet of the Apes *Twice as bleak of an ending as the first.* 3 stars

--- "Bates Motel" (1987)

*After spending his youth in the looney bin with Norman Bates as his father figure, Bud Court (Harold & Maude), and a great casting choice, inherits the Bates Motel from the deceased Norman whom he carries around in an urn afterwards.

With the help of a spunky squatter (Lori Petty) and a Morgan Freeman esque handyman, he reopens the falling apart eyesore and deals with the rumors of the place being haunted and the fast moving yuppies of the 80s who wanna exploit the property to keep with the changing and advancing landscape of the times.

Tonally a weird mixture of maudlin and mockingly humorous. Whoda thunk they could take a legacy of a Hitchcock suspense thriller and throw in one those feel good fixing up the place montages, a Happy Days 1950s teen ghosts dance party with a dreamlover angel Jason Bateman, and Scooby Doo villain plot twist?*

either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------------------------------

"An Evening With Bobcat Goldthwait, Share The Warmth" (1987) *Bobcat chugs two six-packs of TAB and then proceeds to frighten uncomfortable laughter out of a group of yuppies in a nightclub.* 2 1/2 stars

"Beyond Vaudeville" (1986-90s) *Best of a weird NYC public access variety show with guests and acts like Grandpa Munster, Tiny Tim, "the Edith Bunker of massage," climbing Harpo's ladder with Wavy Gravy, Burt Reynold's fantasy Turkish woman (possible delusional stalker), Greg Brady, the arm and the giant from Twin Peaks, the theme from the Flying Nun on spoons, Rock Around the Clock in Yiddish, an Underdog / Dracula enthusiast / interpretive dancer, and many other pathetic bizarre folk. Sammy Davis who?* 3 stars

Morton Downey Jr.: Central Park Squatters *A heated shouting match between freaks and fascists over the issue of gentrification.* 3 stars

"Scoundrels" (1982) a Cecil Howard adult film *"Life's too fucking short." Ron Jeremy is the long dick, long suffering dad, just like Kevin Spacey, in a sexually frustrated slice of American Pie.* 3 stars

American Horror Story -Murder House- "Rubber Man" *"What is it about being dead that makes me so horny?" Hysterical lady troubles.* close to 3 stars

"The Guest" (2014) *A psychotic super-soldier gone awol and come to roost with the troubled family of a fallen comrade. Pulses like an homage to 80s action movies in the vein of John Carpenter.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Justified: season 1 episode 1 *Bluegrass Helter Skelter.* 3 stars

Chrisley Knows Best: The Great Outdoors *Chrisley reluctantly takes his sons camping at the lake, while wishing he were more like his hero Oprah and scaring his 8 year old with the legend of Jason Vorhees.* 2 stars

Comic Book Men: Ghostbusting at the Stash *Sitting around ye ole podcast table and sharing spooky stories about things like the Jersey Devil.* 1 star

"The White Buffalo" (1977) *Charging out of Hell and into Heaven were men like Wild Bill, Crazy Horse, and Charles Bronson.* 3 stars

Kung Fu, the series: Dark Angel *Words lost, eyes blinded, and riches not found, but, at the same time, roots replanted, senses regained, and faith restored.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Invasion U.S.A. (feature) & A Date with the Family (short) *Rigid dinners with loved ones, or heavy drinking with a group of barflies, is a great opportunity to discuss how every American should do more in their part to combat the Red Menace.* 3 stars with riffing 1 star without

"My Mom's A Werewolf" (1988) *An underappreciated housewife goes to the pet store to get a flea collar for the family dog, and winds up having the mom jeans charmed off of her, and replaced with fur, by a hair-piece wearing lycanthrope (John Saxon).*                2 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Black Tickets ------------------

*A young Brad Pitt runs over himself running into himself running away from his problems.* 2 stars

*Having a baby is hellish, even if Brad Pitt is the daddy.*                           between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

---------------------------------------------------

USA Up All Night -with host Rhonda Shear -Valentine's Special -----------------

*Lovers Lovers (feature movie): Neurotic & horny 30 something year old professionals in the city of Angels. It's like a softcore version of Seinfeld.*          2 stars

*Starburst California Raisins style commercial where the Starburst candies get taken to the bad side of town called Twisted Town.* 2 1/2 stars

*The Girls of Paradise (phone sex commercial): 3 stars

*Rhonda hangs out in the honeymoon suite with a amorous bell boy who has chest hairs a plenty.* 3 stars

*Twix commercial parodies the plane crash movie "Alive" in a funny scenario where one guy tricks the other into thinking they're being rescued so that he can have both Twix candy bars to himself.* 3 stars

*Rhonda tries to get a honeymooning and arguing couple's bride out of her hotel room bathroom.* 2 1/2 stars

*Free brochure for TV Parental Ratings guidelines* 3 stars

*"Mel" (taking his name from a PayDay caramel candy bar wrapper) calls up a phone sex hotline to talk to the horny chick about covering her in peanuts and creamy caramel in a funny PayDay commercial.* 3 stars

*"Every day people like me and you are proving why the 'Psychic Solution' is so popular." Obvious payed employees of this phone scam network give false testimonials about their amazing experiences talking to phone psychics.*    either zero or 3 stars

*"Imagine being forced to make love. Now, imagine thousands will die if you dont. Will she? Won't she? Or will she just kick some ass?!" La Femme Nikita preview for an upcoming 1997 episode. Haha.* 3 stars

*Rhonda coaches sweet talk to a dumb husband who gets all her amorous advice lines all wrong.* 3 stars

------------------------------------------------------------------

Weird Science: Magnifico Dad *Mom gets her birthday wish for dad to turn into male supermodel hunk Fabio.* 3 stars

Son of the Beach: Silence of the Clams *"The beach is meant for solitude, not senseless orgying. Cancel Spring Break or else."* 3 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Fortress of Fear *A many eyed wizard wants Ariel as his bride.* 3 stars

Swamp Thing: Silent Screams *"Eye of the hurricane, listen to yourself turn. World serves its own needs, Dummy, serve your own needs." Arcane is selling eco-terrorism to the highest bidder. First in line to be served, shadowy agents of the U.S. government, and they're willing to sacrifice a small, swamp town to test the effectiveness.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Jonny Quest: The Invisible Monster *Turn off the life light, don't let it shine or else be taken in by the hungering Pac-Man esque ghost of an animated mass of energy. Look out, because it's a one-eyed, giant, purple, people-eater.* 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Super Specs *Do "They Live" or is it just an April Fool's Day trick of the mind thanks to a phony trick gifts shop's surprisingly effective super specs glasses?*             close to 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: Shadow Boxer *A bum fighter uses cursed gloves to separate his dark side from his body and sends the shadow out to stick it to his opponents.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 episode 18 *Penn State freshman lions turn themselves into fraidy cats with the passing around of campus legends and the playing of an ancient Japanese ghost story game called '100 Candles.'* 2 stars

Penny Dreadful: season 1 episode 1 *For a moment, I thought Frankenstein and his monster were going to passionately kiss on the mouth. It was weird.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: season 1 episode 6 *"He eats disease. He likes to be scratched behind the ears. He's horrible, beautiful." 3 stars

The Outer Limits: If These Walls Could Talk *CGI Ryan Reynolds. He's not Green Lantern. He's possibly a 'Casper' or at the very least a molecular anomaly. His mom can't let go of the mystery around his disappearance and his frequenting of a so-called haunted house. She's a paranormal believer. She swears she hears him crying out in the haunted house. She befriends a pyschic phenomena debunker. They get drunk, share their hearbreak over the afterlife or lack thereof. They stir up spirits or at least a cold case crime scene. They  learn about the mystery behind a previous owner who was a reclusive scientist and find his hidden room complete with strange meteor. It ends with them covered in ectoplasmic goo.* 2 1/2 stars

"Father Guido Sarducci Goes to College" (1985) *Vatican City versus Disneyland.* 2 1/2 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Mute Witness to Murder *Some enchanted evening, you may meet a stranger. And some enchanted evening, you may witness a brutal murder. That enchanted evening may damage the psyche.* 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: Double Dare *Necessity is the mother of virtue. A business professional lady needs the thrill of an erotic game of show and tell via fax machine dirty messages and flashes of bare flesh across facing office building windows with a sexy stranger, but she can't take it to the next step and cheat on her husband in person.* 2 1/2 stars

"Computer Beach Party" *Weirdly played, and ridiculously overdubbed, dorky sex comedy that maybe comes close to deserving cult status.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

Total Riff Off: Animals Behaving Badly *Horny deer. Smoking ape. Rascally raccoon. Pooping cheetah. Shoe humping tortoise. Horny dolphin. Indian woman breastfeeding a calf. Chicago city coyote. rat infanticide, and the classic panda attacking jacket guy.* 3 stars with riffing between 2 and 2 1/2 stars without

"RoadRacers" (1994) a Robert Rodriguez film *David Arquette as a scumbag greaser, James Dean wannabe with Salma Hayek as his main squeeze. Sounds unconvincing, but somehow they pull it off. Also, great tunes from the era of rockabilly, decent villains like the town asshole cop William Sadler, and Deadwood's Saul Starr as the sci fi and sinful thrills obsessed sidekick.*  2 1/2 stars

Richard Linklater's "Boyhood" (2014) *Maybe the best ever use of scripted reality in dramatic entertainment. Following two siblings for over a decade as we watch them grow and deal with their movie parents a psychology student-into-teacher mother (Patricia Arquette) and their sometimes deadbeat other times often extremely caring and liberal-slacker poet papa (Ethan Hawke), along with step siblings, abusive drunk stepfathers, plus all the growing pains and life steps that happen along the way to young adulthood.* 3 stars (for achievement in the portayal of life) or zero stars (for every character being so unlikeable)

--Starz-- --The Missing: episode 1 *A wrenching, quiet, and moody look at the frantic hours around parents dealing with the disappearance of a child and how the effects of that trauma are still haunting them, and others involved with the memory, years later.*         3 stars

American Gothic: Damned If You Don't *Dang ole' tornado of the soul.* 3 stars

"Din of Celestial Birds" (2006) *inherent iniquities* 2 1/2 stars

True Detective: Seeing Things *Pussy, fantasy, illusion, delusion, hallucination, justification, nightmare, and revelation.* 3 stars

X Files: Fallen Angel *Toxic cover up and lies with an official seal.* 2 1/2 stars

"Night Dreams" (1981) xxx *Bound by wild desire, Dorothy LeMay fell into a ring of fire.* 3 stars

--- MTV's True Life: I'm Preparing for the End of the World

*An obese, and (from how he's presented on this docu show) low i.q. suffering, young  father moves his pregnant wife, two young boys, and yummy pet rabbits & chickens to an isolated farm in the mountains.

There he rambles about doomsday scenarios and his family assists in setting up booby traps that are more dangerous to themselves than anyone else.

My advice is to lay off the extra bunny, at dinner, and to not homeschool the kids about the proper way to filter goat piss into a drinkable water alternative, but instead to exercise as a family and to get out in society and work towards not ending up with an apocalypse.

Next, we have two priviledged college twins who are so quirky and idiotic that they jokingly form a two person cult where they bother college campus students and the city's homeless population with their pretend rhetoric.

Low point being when they claim to be getting prepared to raise their consciousness beyond the normal soulless zombie, just before tossing a twenty dollar bill into the air for a group of hungry homeless and junkies to wrestle over.*

1 star

-----------------------------------------------------------

Morton Downey Jr.: Feminism *Mort and feminist lawyer Gloria Allred go toe to toe and almost mouth to mouth with the sexual tension between them (just kidding).* close to 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Television Terror *A t.v. station scores big ratings, when Morton Downey Jr. is murdered, live on the air, while investigating a haunted house.* 3 stars

"Too Young To Die?" (1990) *A trailer trash teen runaway (Juliette Lewis) gets the death penalty for the murder of her soldier guy former lover, thanks to her hick pimp/pusher (Brad Pitt).*  2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story -Asylum- "The Coat Hanger" *Forgiving trespasses. Ian McShane almost seems too good for any show after his iconic role in Deadwood, but he finds one here as a blackly humorous and blasphemous sinner/killer in a setting that keeps getting more depraved and strange. Bucket of KFC chicken and skinning victims alive killer mixed piece joke. Priest drowning at a baptism. Priest crucifiction. The dirty history of pre legalized abortions. Cruel head nun gets on the other end of looney torture. A Nazi butcher / mad scientist seeking aliens because he appreciates their eugenic techniques and getting sent his own Mary with a possible alien seed in her belly.* 3 stars

Hannibal: Amuse-Bouche *"It takes one to know one." A human fungus wants understanding.* 3 stars

Bob and Margaret: Friends for Dinner *"Another domestic dilemma." Bob and Margaret continue to define themselves different from their rude peers, while still retaining a flawed quality that makes them so relatable to the average person.* close to 3 stars

15 Storeys High: The Model *"If she learns to swim, next thing she'll want to learn to drive." A nutter doesn't want his nude centerfold wife to take swimming lessons. Olives on pizza distaste, and a compulsion to pull any wallpaper off the wall -weirdness. Also, the swimming lessons oath includes everyone but practioners of karate and the pop star Sting.* 3 stars

Hippies: Hairy Hippies *The animals of Aquarius are gonna tear your prick off.* 3 stars

Farscape: Durka Returns *"The difference between a knife attack and life saving surgery." The outer space adjustment bureau can turn anyone they want into an attitude corrected slave.* 3 stars

Max Headroom: Deities *When it comes to matters of the spirit, people often forget what it means being human.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Captured Souls *Sometime in the early 90s, the Obamas and their daughter nearly had the life sucked out of them by a mirror-spy-tech mad-science-geezer posing as an ole timey tween boy with a ridiculous hairstyle that was almost as bad as Obama's soul glow mullet of the time.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

American Horror Story --Coven-- "Fearful Pranks Ensue" *supreme sacrifice* close to 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: You Have The Right To Remain Silent *A lady cop kidnaps and forces herself on a strong willed guy who won't show her any attention at the gym. I would have laughed if it were a case of her not having any gay-dar.* close to 2 1/2 stars and 1 1/2 a stars for the safe sex sales pitch

Hill Street Blues: Choice Cut *supermarket standoff with a side of beef.* 2 1/2 stars

Fargo: The Rooster Prince *"Savagery, pure and simple."* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow "Orphans" *The most sympathetic character on the show, Pepper, has a continuation of maybe the most tragic character arc of any character in all of American Horror Story, with a cameo from a character from Asylum.* close to 3 stars

MTV's "Eye Candy" extended peak *Disney channel(?) teen pop idol and now hacker (rolls eyes) in a serial killer stalker show with MTV style "edgy" (crap) aesthetics. The psycho stuffing smartphones in the mouths of victims is unintentionally ludicrous and laughable.* 1 1/2 stars

"Living With Michael Jackson" *"We would wake at dawn and go up in the hot air balloon. I have the footage. It's all very charming and innocent. That's ignorant. Who's the Jack the Ripper in the Room?" Was it exploitive journalist Martin Bashir or delusional Peter Pan wannabe Jacko?* either 3 stars or zero stars

Prime Time Thursday -ABC- Martin Bashir on his Michael Jackson documentary (2003?) *ABC gets a few more nasty kicks in to the wounded weirdo.* 2 stars

The Michael Jackson Interview, The Footage You Were Never Meant To See *--FOX--* (2003)

*"Becareful what you do, because the lie becomes the truth."

Maury Povich pauses from hosting & revealing ghetto / white trash paternity tests to take an investigative behind the scenes footage look at the Martin Bashir documentary on MJ.

An almost propaganda piece trying to repair Jackson's image and justify his strange behavior, but it does shine a light on the deceitful approach of Bashir's manipulative tactics in getting close to Jackson via gaining his trust with comments approving of Michael's generosity and attitudes towards children and Michael's personal life in other ways, and then turning  around and only showing the most sensational things in his "Living With Michael Jackson" documentary.*

2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------------------------

The Greatest American Hero: pilot episode "UFO Encounter" *The teachers of troubled teens, those are the real heroes. This show has great music, and I don't just mean the cheesy wonderful theme song.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: I Accuse My Parents (feature) & The Truck Farmer (short) *Cultivate, refrigerate, exaggerate, denigrate.* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 2 stars without

Son of the Beach: In The G-Hetto *"Read my lips, I'm going down there and I'm going to lick your posse, and I'm going to enjoy it."* 2 1/2 stars

Black Sails: season 1 episode 1 *Blackbeard's snatch. Captain Flint's fluoride smile. Long John Silver's sexy good looks. I doubt these third world bandits were really this stylized.*               2 1/2 stars

Fred Olen Ray's "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" (1988) *Heaven for guys who like big tits and Hell for guys who don't like to be chopped into little bits.* 3 stars

Hollywood Hillbillies: Headin' For Hollywood *Another internet infamous sensation extends he and his grandmother's 15 minutes of fame by acting as crass and crazy as possible for the reality tv cameras.* 1 star

TLC presents My Husband's Not Gay *These Latter Day Saint women believe that they have it made, because, with another woman, their husband would never stray. I wonder if the LGBT community would stand up for the rights of the "same sex attracted" who don't act on it for religious reasons, or if... ha... of coure not.* either zero                   or 2 1/2 stars

"Monster" (2003) *A look at someone, on the fringes of life, whose feral impulses sadly couldn't be justified even though she endured a life of inhuman treatment.* 3 stars

Viper: Pilot Movie *Not just a tv show promoting a crime fighting futuristic Dodge motor company concept car, maybe also a question of whether giving career criminals a clean slate of memory is violating their civil rights or not.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

"Midnight Plowboy" xxx (1971) *Welcome To The Jungle as performed by Going To The Country's Canned Heat.* 2 stars

Woops!: pilot episode (1992) *99.999999% of the world's population has died in a fiery hot flash, but a few quirky yuppies survive to yuck it up on a small farm. Cue the laugh track.*        2 stars

X Files: Eve *bloodthirsty replicas* 3 stars

"Nomads" (1986) *Searching too deep beneath the surface of reality, a cultural archaeologist starts being stalked by a skid row spirit-tribe.* close to 3 stars

Manimal: Manimal *Transmutation is not for the faint or feint of heart.* 2 1/2 stars

---- "Tusk" a Kevin Smith film (2014)

*20th century man spent his time doing amazing things, and had tales to tell later.

21st century man spends most of his time talking about ridiculous things.

This time 21st century man accomplishes one of those ridiculous things.

How to go about summing up something like this...

3 stars for the crazy screenplay.

3 stars for the incredible walrus special fx by Robert Kurtzman.

3 stars for Michael Parks' truly demented serial killer / world's most interesting man character.

2 stars for Haley Joel Osment's nerdy twenty something podcast comedy partner.

almost 2 1/2 stars for Justin Long's obnoxious and self absorbed hipster mustached podcast comedian.

3 stars for Justin Long's suffering through hell tortured and experimented on in the most gruesome way possible walrus-man.

1 1/2 stars for all the podcast nonsense.

either zero stars or 3 stars for Johnny Depp's Mike Myers esque eccentric inspector character.

and to finish out the whole whacked out affair, either 1 star or 3 stars for the absurd ending.*

===================================================================

Wizards and Warriors: The Unicorn of Death *Mind over matter. Also, lightning hawks, hawks that shoot lightning.* 3 stars

"Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood" *"One fish two fish red fish blue fish, knick knack paddywhack give a dog a bone, Two thousand zero zero party over oops out of time, my bacon's smelling fine." The Wayans, just off of In Living Color and a handful of blackspoitation movies, take on Boyz in the Hood & Friday with their brand of satire that hadn't quite soured just yet like it would with the Scary Movie series. Somewhat not bad, nowhere as good as say an episode of Chapelle Show, but almost on the level of something like Comedy Central's Key & Peele.* 2 stars                      plus 3 stars for Bernie Mac's cameo speech

Freddy's Nightmares: School Daze ----------

*No more homework, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks. Just robotic students.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Standard Achievement Torture.* 2 1/2 stars

-------------------------------------

"Ben and Arthur" (2002) *I'm sure that everyone involved with this shot-on-video "movie" had their big, gay hearts in the right place, but the results are so oddly misguided that it cursed the gay rights movement and set queer equality back at least a decade.* 1 star

Tales From The Crypt: My Brother's Keeper *Two guys attached at the ass-cheek, now that's freaks. And it's definitely a wild half of the siamese situation if Timothy Stack is the straight laced one.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Cannon Video: Fifty Fifty (1993) *A couple of "in it for the money" mercenaries find a change of heart and purpose, when they're sold out by the U.S. government after initially being hired to train a  ragtag group of villagers to overthrow a cruel dictator.*                 close to 3 stars

Jonny Quest: Double Danger *monkeying around with hallucinagens* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000:  Operation Double 007 *"Terrorists were a lot more fun back then." Thankfully, Sean Connery's brother, Neil, also didn't try to rip off Highlander 2 or Zardoz.* 3 stars with riffing 2 1/2 stars without

The Prisoner: The General *Blind memorization is a learn-ed way for a slave to show its appreciation to its masters.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: season 1 episode 19 *"Balancing faith and science" as the lead investigator questions whether or not he should debunk a crazy lady's haunting experiences.*                           between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Swamp Thing: Walk A Mile In My Shoots *Arcane and Swamp Thing trade places.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

American Horror Story: Coven "Burn, Witch, Burn" *Ask me no questions and I'll tell thee no lie. Mama's little baby love shortenin'. Fry fry fry. Febreeze will get the odors out of any room where dead things lie.*   3 stars

American Gothic: Dead to the World *Denial ain't just a river in Bum-Fuck, Egypt.* close to 3 stars

Justified: season 1 episode 2 *Rhythm, romancin', runnin', and rippin' up the floorboards.* 3 stars

"The Census Taker" (1984) *"An outrageous invasion of privacy."* 3 stars

Hannibal: Potage *Manipulation in Maryland, Minnesota, and the media.* 3 stars

X Files: Fire *amorous arsonist* 2 1/2 stars

12 Monkeys: Pilot episode *Hourglasses of the hydra.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Thirteenth Floor" (1999) *"Hate to see that evening sun go down." Digital virtual deja-vu.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: Birthright *Senator Al Gore is all about shooting up with supplements and saving the environment by saturating it with methane for his alien race to take over and inhabit.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Northern Exposure: Brains, Know How and Native Intelligence *singing the body electric and fixing the plumbing.* 3 stars

Son of the Beach: Love, Native American Style *firebush and big hose* 2 1/2 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Island of the Body Snatchers *Ariel almost loses her mind and her body in the mystery zone.* 3 stars

Are You Afraid of the Dark?: The Tale of the Twisted Claw *Wish in one hand, let a vulture shit in the other.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Eegah! *RRRR! Richard Kiel is really big and really lonely and he wants to rape a gal named Roxy. It's like King Kong set in a resort desert town where a Ricky Nelson reject is constantly rocking out.* 3 stars with riffing 2 without

Weird Science: The Feminine Mistake *The guys get turned into chicks and experience what the other sex has to go through with horny guys like themselves.* 3 stars

Jack London's "Call of the Wild" starring Charlton Heston & featuring "Buck" the dog *Buck worth more than all the gold in the Klondike.* 3 stars

"Ax Giant" *"All strut and no gut." Paul Bunyan puts a cgi sawblade through Grizzly Adams' bear-sized head for eating his blue ox named Babe.* 2 stars

MLK Day Tribute ---------------

Morton Downey Jr.: Racism with Dr. Charles King (2 appearances on the show) *One of the last ballsy, crazy, and passionately confused conversations about race conducted by the media before political correctness closed the door.* either zero or 3 stars

---------------------------------------------

Abel Ferarra's "King of New York" (1990) *Max Shreck, magnanimous and soulful.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

X Files: Beyond the Sea *Serial killer -Brad Dourif- claims to channel the beyond and a grieving Scully's recently deceased dad. but is he just a coward staying execution?* 3 stars

Lucio Fulci's "The New York Ripper" *quacking misogyny* 3 stars

Red Shoe Diaries: Talk To Me Baby *"You gonna believe your eyes or are you gonna believe me?" Shared feelings and Samson-haired Bud "tries" to be less of a horndog for other women, but he's only a man afterall and after a night at the bar watching a wet t-shirt contest. If his hot foreign accent nympho girlfriend don't forgive him and talk, he's gonna flip his muscle car and go out Romeo style with her in the passenger seat.* 3 stars

William Friedkin's "Cruising" (1980) *assault, alarm, assuage, acclimate, assplay, and arrest* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Girl In Lovers Lane *Drifters and the females who foolishly fawn over them. A Route 66 romantic tragedy.* 3 stars with riffing 2 1/2 without

American Horror Story: Murder House "Spooky Little Girl" *The apparition of the Black Dahlia is misdiagnosed with acute anxiety.* 3 stars

Nic Cage is "Left Behind" (2014) *Bono raptured. U2 concert postponed.* either 1 star or 2 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Cabin Fever -----------

*Fly the Freddy skies.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

*Freddy finds his Laura Palmer.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

-----------------------------------------

True Detective: The Locked Room *Scarred snowflakes* 3 stars

"Night Warning" (1983) *"Fuckin' deviants, the world is full of 'em." Hoop dreams, ''homophobia'', and a hilariously insane Susan Tyrrell.* 3 stars

Svengoolie: House of Horrors *Creepin' on art critics.* close to 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: The Secret *Blue hued and sweet toothed tale of a wolf boy adopted by vampires.* 3 stars

Charles Bronson in "Cold Sweat" *A History of Violence in a French fishing village with American muscle car action.* close to 3 stars

Viper: Once A Thief *Viper-Man takes a suped-up stroll down memory lane with his delinquent former protege, Robin.* 2 1/2 stars

Son of the Beach: Two Thongs Don't Make A Right *The Devil's butt floss and daddy's B.J.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Betsy Russell is a "Tomboy" *Battle of the sexes in a light-hearted, cheesy reality that's not afraid to get raunchy.* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow "Magical Thinking" *Weak men and strong women.* close to 3 stars

Paranormal Witness: The Visitors *It's either one of two scenarios for this episode: A) A door to door salesman is duped into believing he's cursed with demons and uses his scientific background, and connections, to explain it. or B) A bored, middle-aged former scientist, and his tech buddies, try to establish a hoax with alledged proof of the paranormal.* 2 stars

The Greatest American Hero: The Hit Car *Heavier than air, heavy like Shakespeare.* 3 stars

"Killdozer" (1974) *Grizzled workmen in an isolated setting sci-fi horror that's similar to and yet almost a decade ahead of John Carpenter's "The Thing."*                          between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 Episode 2 *Cooking up a kingdom, of reprieve, through barter and betrayal.*            between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Dolph Lundgren in "Dark Angel" aka "I Come In Peace" (1990) *Phantasm's The Tall Man the cyberpunk / heavymetal years, now available on projectile compact-disc, just in time for a White-boy's Christmas.* 2 1/2 stars

Tim & Eric -Bedtime Stories: The Endorsement *Subversive swipe at Sunset BLVD* 3 stars

Puppy-Bowl: Unnecessary Roughness *Puppies wrestling at the "50 yard line" and hamsters overhead in a tiny blimp. This is okay with PETA, yet I can no longer go to my cockfights on Friday nights.* either 1 star or 2 1/2 stars

Kung Fu: Blood Brother *Dignity should not remain surrendered or buried in the mire.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Roar of the Lion *(Traditional Chinese costumes) Lion versus dragon in a kung-fu dance off ceremony that's also comedy gold in a stunt filled comedy filled flick.* 3 stars

Manimal: Illusion *Manimal predicted the Siegfried & Roy tragedy, and Richard Lynch plays a diplomatic immunity villain before Lethal Weapon does the same.*           between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

King of the Hill: It Ain't Over Till The Fat Neighbor Sings *"What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again." In Hank's reality, he loses it when he can't micro-manage any poor decision making that's always hilariously exaggerated.* 3 stars

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Group Dates *Dennis comes unhinged when women rate him, online, as a zero. Frank can't keep Mac & Charlie from offending their blind dates, and he can't keep his cockring from slipping off. Dee's plan to stick it to men by giving them one night stands winds up backfiring.* 3 stars

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital: Season 1 Episode 7 *Black noises, thirsting voices striking, impeaching.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

15 Storeys High: Blue Rat *All of the energy, none of the fuss, plus a pony.* 3 stars

Paranormal State: Season 1 Finale *A is for anxiety and or African American spirit girl humming to a sensitive, young medium girl.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

[stormx49]

New Threat

Sot System, Planet Dessara: 0700 Hours. Sleep eluded me like a thief in the night, I didn't want to be ambushed by the Blue Gears in case they were patrolling the area. The loss of my village still lingered in the morning, but I had to leave the village behind for now before Liandri came and made me part of their televised tournaments. I only got 3 hours of rest, far below my normal time. It'll have to do for now; for my current prerogative is to get back home to Earth, my mission is done. I know what became of Dessara and the Azures Village, they became victims of modernization, greed, and lust, it's disgusting. Now I needed to find a form of transportation to get to Earth, be it a spaceship or some teleportation device. I don't remember much of Dessara besides the Azures and Ciudad de Polvo... or Cráter de neón as it's called now.  I rode my hoverbike across the sandy seas, kicking up dust behind me. The rain storm finally stopped and the sun began to rise on a new day, the calming orange-pink rays washed across the skies, with not a cloud in the sky, birds flying above me, singing their songs to one another.  If there was one thing I missed during my times stationed on this forsaken rock, it was the beautiful sunrise and sunsets. A breeze blow over my gray, white and onyx spotted fur, my blackened hair blew in the wind behind me as I looked ahead through biker goggles and blue irises.  It was a bit nippy around the chest and rib areas, for my combat armor took some hits, exposing some of my upper torso, plus the left cup of my green bra with black frills. But all that riding had taken its toll on the gas tank, and soon my hoverbike began to slow down, making sputtering noises. "SPRA-SPU-SPU-SPUUU...." Just my luck, gonna be stranded in the middle of the desert. Thankfully, luck was on my side, only a little bit though.  As my bike was crawling to a dead stop, there was an oasis ahead, I had hoped it wasn't a mirage. Once the hoverbike ceased to move, I hopped off the bike, letting the paws on my feet touch the sand which left imprints.  I took off my goggles and put them in the pocket of my dark blue jeans, my snow leopard tail wagged at the sight of the crystal clear water. Humidity and thirst crept up on me, so I need to quench them. I walked up to the water and knelt down, cupping my hands and lifting the liquid up to my face; sipping the sea down.  It tasted good and dehydration was defeated, for now anyways. Looking down at the rippling water, I stared unto my own reflection, and it stared right back at me... then... it began to speak towards me. "Elder Thom is dead because you weren't there to save them!" She screamed at me, causing me to jump back in fright where I felt my heart skip a beat. My breathing increased, my hands were shaking like leaves in the wind.  I knew she wasn't real, just my mind playing tricks on me; whether it was from the arid heat from Dessara, or survivor's guilt creeping up behind my shoulder, whatever the case, I tried to shut out the auditory hallucination. She wouldn't stop berating me though... "Instead of feeling sorry for yourself like a sad sack all those years, you could've got off your furry but and go see the village earlier and maybe, JUST MAYBE ELDER THOM WOULDN'T BE 6! FEET! UNDER!" "Enough!" I cried back at her, standing to my feet. "You don't know that, no one knows that! So stop blaming me!" It's foolish... yelling at nothing there, just whatever's going on in my skull. I swear it felt so real... but I know it's nothing. But it was beginning to spiral out of control, for my auditory hallucination suddenly became a physical manifestation, made of the clear waters in the oasis. "You want to yell at me!? I'll reunite you with your beloved elder!" There was no time to react, the water being instantly warped in front of me, grabbing me by the hair and threw me into the water with great force. "KA-SPLOOOOOSH!" Descending only a few feet, bubbles temporarily clouded up my vision with my hearing muted by the submerged environment, I didn't get a good breath of air before being dunked into the oasis. Once my sight returned to normal, albeit a bit blurry, I tried to get up to the surface, however that didn't happen. Before I got upright, the hallucination came roaring down towards me and pinned me down by my shoulders. My lungs felt like they were set alight, I needed air, badly. I struggled, trying to plant my feet on the sandbed. "GLMMFHH!" I moaned behind held breath, but I wasn't going anywhere fast. "THIS PLACE WILL BE YOUR GRAVE! RETURN TO THE HEAVENS ABOVE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, while my pair were running on empty. Air bubbles surged from my nose and lips, my vision was growing dimmer by the second. "Lbbt mbble gbblboblp!" I cried out in a gurgly fashion "No, rest in peace, let the water seep into your lungs!" Time isn't on my side, I'm nearing the blackout point at a rapid pace, so it's either fight back or die, and I'm no longer going to sit back to hide like a coward.  I fumbled towards my dark green kilt with my left hand, trying to grab something underneath it; and the item I needed was my Cicitar Sub-Machine Gun. One of Storm's latest firearms, it was a modernized version of the Uzi SMG. With a forward ejecting mechanism and only 18 rounds left in the magazine, it had to be done, to ensure my survival.  Gripping tight to the grip, I rammed the barrel into the water being's torso and pinned the trigger.  Normally the bullets wouldn't go very far while submerged in any form of liquid, but at this very close proximity, the 9mm bullets had no issue perforating the hallucination's gut. Emptying the mag, I felt the gun rock back and forth in my hand, unleashing 650RPM of full auto action. Though my vision was blackening up, I noticed that the water began to run red with blood.  I pushed whatever was in front of me and ascended, bubbles exploded out from my nose before I broke the breach. "NYAAAAA!" I gasped, taking in a huge breath of fresh air. My fur was soaked with strands of clear water pouring back down into the oasis, my hair was drenched and undone, making it long and straight. I didn't care about my look at the moment as I shuffled towards the sands, where I stumbled and collapsed onto my knees; coughing up a storm. I'm getting sloppy, shouldn't have let my head get the better of me. I need sleep, food, a new gun, and a change of clothes. It'll get better once I get back home to Earth... for now I gotta push onwards. Once I stopped coughing and caught my breath, I sat up, turning towards the blood soaked sea; turns out that while I was in my stupor, a Blue Gear scout spotted me and tried to drown me; what I thought was a watery ghost was an actual threat. I really am losing my edge, aren't I? Her corpse was floating face down, with holes in her abdomen and upper chest, one of those bullets must've broken her heart, quite literally.  I saw she left her hoverbike here, her version looked a lot sleeker than mine. So I'll be using that to head towards the nearest town or city. I wasn't done with her yet.Ge Getting up to my feet was easy once I was back to normal, I headed back into the water to go grab the Blue Gear Cadaver, needed to scavenge for some supplies; it's part of my Nakotan tradition.  I reached the corpse and grabbed her by the backside of her armor, getting a good grip, I waded back towards my own bike.   Back on the land, I stopped dragging the dead Gear and let her go to check her for any supplies, be it guns, money or MRE's. First thing I grabbed was an MSMC PDW with a mounted EOTech Holographic sight on top, plus 2 spare magazines filled with 5.56x30mm MINSAS rounds, it'll be a suitable replacement for the Cicitar SMG, perfect to keep me alive on Dessara, should any more Blue Gears decided to tango with me. The second thing I swiped from the corpse was her wallet, I checked inside and saw about 400 dollars, which was an added bonus because I was getting a bit low on cash; about 90 some dollars left. Alas, that's all I could, there wasn't any form of food on her. Oh well, I'll have to find some when I get to a town or city.  Can't go back to Cráter de neón, pretty sure I'm a wanted criminal, least in the eyes of the Blue Gears anyways. I got up to my feet and looked back to the oasis, with droplets of water dripping from my fur, my muscles trembled slightly. I don't want to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder again... never again... need to get a grip. I went towards the Gear's bike, looking at that sleek dark-blue hoverbike with their logo on it, a Gear with a spear in the middle. Real original logo. Still, it's my new mode of transportation, and the cadaver even left the key in for me. How thoughtful of her. I grabbed the goggles out of my pocket and put them over my eyes, then I hopped onto the bike, turned the key to rev up the bike. "VRRRRRRRR..." Works like a charm, I felt the bike slowly lift up off the ground, the fuel gauge read that it was full and ready to ride. Time to go, so I twisted the right handle to engage the motor. I felt there were two pads where my feet were, and if car logic served right; left is to brake, right is to accelerate.   Easy enough for me, I pressed down on the right pad and the bike revved forward with a warbling noise, I left a trail of dust behind me that erased the footprints behind me; both mine and the bootprints of the Gears Scout. Not gonna look back, just focusing on where the winds take me. Didn't have any set destination in mind, however. And so I drove onwards; gliding across the sands with speed and grace, letting the winds dry off my body. I drove westwards for hours and hours, going in a direction without any signs of civilization in sight, just endless amounts of coarse, gritty Earth. "GRRRMGMGRRR..." That was my stomach, making demands to be fed, but I wasn't going to feed it dirt; no I was going to give it some actual food. Now if only I could find a place to stop. I spent at least about... I wanna say 3 hours, but it felt so much longer that. But I was riding for a long time without food and water, I wanted to go look for another oasis to quench the thirst.  Soon I could see some form of a city ahead, sitting in the middle of a giant gorge; there were waterfalls descending into the abyss below, and they came from within the city, with a dome right in the exact center. Unlike the other places I've seen that got the futuristic overhaul, this city looked like the old days; made of sandstone and rock; it felt far warmer and more inviting than the cold, lifeless so called "improved cities."  This is where I needed to go, to fuel up and get something in my belly. So I floored it, increasing the speed to 75MPH. Once I got to one of the stone arches suspended above the crater below, I slowed down so I wasn't going over the speed limit; there I saw two men dressed in traditional Arabic affair... with body armor over it.  One of them gave me the halt sign, and when he's armed with an MK48 Machinegun, you bet your tushie I'm gonna stop. Putting pressure on the brake pad, I let the bike stop. The other guard walked towards me, armed with an AH208 "Hawk" Pistol; unlike Storm's however, this one was blinged out with gold and engraved.  Seems stereotypical I know, but it's what I saw with my own two eyes. "Need some ID, madam." He said to me in a thick Arabic accent. Though when he got a second look at me, his expression changed in a heartbeat. "Dear lord.... are you a ghost; Erika Kinderington?" He asked out my name with fright. "I seem to get that a lot." I replied. "But no, I'm flesh and blood, just like you, sir." "Graal has heard of your exploits across Dessara, a true heroine has blessed our city by ridding of those Blue Gear scoundrels." "Graal?" "Yes, Graal; formerly known as the Den." My memory lit up, I remembered the Den or "The Widow's Nest" as we called it. It used to be a hive of some of the scummiest men and women around, stealing from nearby towns, kidnapping women to have their way with... disgusting.  I personally never entered the Den before, I only heard of horror tales from some of the villagers at Azures. Seems like time can change everything... as I've learned recently. "So I see..." I replied. "Can I come in, please? I need something to eat." Both guards nodded with vigor. "Yes, yes, come in! No charge, no charge!" The man with the machine gun said enthusiastically "That's kind of you, thank you very much, sirs." I rode into the Den or Graal as it's named now, I parked my hoverbike and hopped off, taking off my goggles along the way. Walking down the dirt road, I went from the parking lot and into the city where I took in the sights; the first thing I saw were the sandstone buildings with vines growing out the sides, growing blue and white flowers. Looks very peaceful and bliss, though when I got further into the city, it became more dense with civilians and while the Egyptian styled buildings were still standing tall, signs of futuristic tech were bleeding in slowly in the form of supply pods; where weapons and armor can be purchased. Might have to stop by one of those later, right now I need food.  I looked around, trying to find a place to stop and rest.  There was a hard-light bridge right over one of the currents, flowing towards the edge and descending. At least it's not all sci-fi, high tech decorations.  So I walked over the bridge, heading right into a long path with food and clothing stores on each side of the street. It was packed with people, some chattering, some gossiping, some yelling at one another about their cruddy services.  Thankfully they didn't point out that I was walking among them. Soon I can smell some traditional Indian cuisine, personally, I don't eat much of it but I couldn't be picky, not when my stomach was demanding food of any sort. I walked over and saw it's one of those old street side restaurants, with stools, a counter and some tandooris in the back.  Thankfully there was a stool for me to sit on, so I sat down, moving my tail to the side. One of the owners walked up to me, dressed up in his black chef coat that was stained with spices, he spoke to me in his native tongue. Which I didn't understand, I don't speak Pashto very well, or at all. Upon looking at my confused expression, he cleared his throat and spoke in English, not good English. "Welcome, what eat, yeah?" He said with a very thick accent, his words were broken, but I knew what he meant. "Tandoori Chicken and plain Naan please." I ordered. "Choice good, 15 dollar." I pulled out 25 dollars from my pocket and forked it over to the owner. "Keep the change." With a smile on my face, I felt generous and kind. "Bless kind heart." He replied with a smile right back, he turned around and talked to his chefs in his normal language while I watched them at work. Their passion was very noticeable, their work ethic and drive were very graceful, very swift yet diligent.  These are people who loved to make food and serve it to the customer, and unlike the other restaurant owners nearby, they didn't shout and scream like raving banshees. Within 15 minutes, my food arrived on a plate, tandoori grilled chicken with 3 pieces of naan bread. It looked very yummy and the scent was making my mouth water; I don't care if it's so spicy that my brains might implode; I was hungry and I needed to eat it NOW. "Thank you, sirs!" I exclaimed before eating it. Oh believe me that first bite of the chicken was divine, the spices of coriander, cardamom, and turmeric bombarded my taste buds, my tongue exploded with zestiness and heat, but oh was it so delicious. The grilled poultry was juicy and cooked to perfection. And don't get me started on the naan, it may not have any flavoring and it might be flat, but it was still nice and fluffy when I took a bite to absorb the spices resting in my mouth. I forgot to grab a drink, but I can get something later. Alas, peace and quiet can only last so long before reality came rushing back. "Please, please! This city is not for the tournaments, but for people who wish to live here!" I heard someone cry out to somebody. I munched on some more of the delectable chicken wrapped in some naan when I turned around to see the commotion. Standing before one of the highly dressed officials was two of Liandri's combat droids, with their sleek orange chassis, exposed servos, glow red visors and armed with some tri-barrelled rocket launchers, I had a sneaking suspicion they were here to do the same thing they did to the Azures Village. Eradicate the people, making it open grounds for Liandri to turn this place into one of their combat arenas. With the streets cleared, people watched on from the sidelines as this poor old man stood up to two advanced robots. "Stand down and comply." One of the robots ordered with his deadpan expression, but credit to the elderly gentleman; he stood his ground. "No, take your infidel kind and be gone from this land!" He shouted back to the soulless beings, and that made them react by aiming their rocket launchers at him.  I swallowed my food and was about to pull out my MSMC to let them taste justice. That's when I heard someone call out to the robots. "Stand aside!" She commanded with a blunt, curt cry.  The robots complied and moved towards the side. I thought it was another one of Liandri's robots, just higher up on the food chain.  It was far from the truth. I saw a young female anthro, she looked like me but instead of having snow leopard fur, she had normal leopard fur that was yellow/orange with black spotted fur. Her blond hair was done up like a secretary, looking all fancy in her gray dress with body armor covering her upper torso.  She looked very young... like she was 17 years old. Wielding the mighty FSSG-50 Marksman Rifle in her hand, it looked like she didn't struggle with it at all, she hefted it with ease. Her dressy boots left imprints on the dirt road as she walked up to the government official. "My sincerest apologies sir, but Graal City falls under within legal jurisdiction of our heritage program, we are within our rights to take over this beautiful city as an Onslaught arena for the Liandri Tournaments that will begin in the next 6 months." She said with a calm, collected tone. "Then why haven't we gotten the message!?" He cried back, emotions riding high, but she kept her composure. "I understand your pain, I lost my village to Liandri as well, but I promise you that we're doing this for the benefit of all. I'll only extend this offer once to you sir: either take you and your mecca to a new place or perish.  No blood has to be spilled today, and you can even make some nice money in the process." Her furry hand extended forward to the man, she put on a fake smile for the man. It's appalling to me... And the man thought so too, as he spat in her face, causing her to recoil back, wiping the saliva from her orange eyes. Once she came to, she gave him the mother of all death glares. "Guards... hold this man down." "Understood." They both chimed in at once and within seconds, they turned around and grabbed the man, forcing him to his knees, extending his arms out as he futilely struggled to free himself.  She shouldered her rifle and turned it off safe, aiming it through the iron sights and pointing the barrel at the man's chest. She squeezed the trigger and popped off a .50BMG round right through his chest. Oh dear... things are gonna go down.   The government man was dead with a huge hole in his chest, blood spurted from the hole and leaked from his lips. Then the robots lifted him up to his limp legs to tear him in half, making an example of him and the townsfolk.  The sounds of screaming rapidly reached crisis point, and soon they scattered, trying to save their own lives. "Should've taken the deal, sir!" She exclaimed. "Boys! Eradicate the people, we're turning this place into an arena!" "Yes, ma'am." Rockets began to fly through the air, hitting some of the people and they turned into clouds of red mist. Hell had broken loose and things weren't looking good.  My stomach had enough food now. I could've turned tail and ran, let the people to their fate; but that wasn't the way of the warrior and it certainly defied the code of the hero, so I pulled out my MSMC, took the weapon off safe and cocked it. "SHHHK-CLICK!" My turn to go on the offensive, I aimed the Holo Sight at one of the robots firing their rocket launchers and I wrapped my finger around the trigger to unleash some bullets. Firing at full auto, the 5.56mm lead flew towards its metallic target, ripping through some of their servos and one went right through the cranial dome, causing him to collapse with black oil leaking from his new vent holes.  Although the sound of the gunfire had given my location away to the other robot. Acting on his orders, he fired a single rocket which was coming towards me fast and with barely enough reaction time, I dove towards the right to miss being turned into snow leopard pate; the explosion took out the tandoori grill instead.   I slid across the muddy ground about a few inches while aiming my PDW at the other robot and opened fire; some of the bullets deflected off the torso, others pierced his visor to render him blind. Unfortunately, upon losing his sight, he called out to his buddies. "Unit is blind, requesting backup." To the right there were more Liandri robots coming, armed with Flak Cannons and looking a lot heavier, I needed to make sure that my aim was as true as Storm's so that I can take out their exposed servos. I got to my feet, my right side covered in caked mud and began to take aim. Before I could... how do the kids say it? "Pop a cap in their asses?"  They aimed their Flak Cannons high into the air and shot fragmentation shells, they were heading right towards some children, little girls dressed in burkas.  I didn't hesitate, children come first n my eyes. Looking at the descended shells, I pointed the barrel just below the shell and fired, letting the bullets fly towards them to intercept with the shells, causing them to explode in midair. Forgot about the shrapnel though, while most of them were harmlessly impaled into the walls and buildings, one of them did fly by my right cheek, cutting it pretty good with blood leaking out. I felt the sharp, burning pain.  Left me temporarily exposed, it was a bit foolish on my end... "BAANG!" A loud gunshot rang out behind me, and I felt the bullet impact my armor, not only did my armor fragment into pieces, but the high velocity knocked me down onto my knees. My back was sore, but at least my armor served its purpose for the last time, now all of my upper torsi was exposed, minus my green bra. Right behind me was that anthro representative from Liandri, FSSG-50 in her left hand, the smoking barrel of an AM67 pistol in her right hand, man those .50 Snubs hurt... my muscles were stiff, I was in pain and tried to get to my feet. It was too late, I felt the barrel get pressed up against the back of my head. "So ghosts DO bleed..." She said to me, pressing the barre even further and looking at me with a smirk. "Captain Kinderington... welcome home." Wait... she knew me? I didn't remember her... though that would soon change. All I knew is when she referred me to my title; I knew she was a member of the Azures Tribe, now she's an agent of Liandri. "My home was destroyed by Liandri... the company you work for now, have you no pride for Azures?" I asked, panting. "It was an unfortunate situation, yes. We tried Captain, we tried to save our home from Liandri but it was a futile effort. I managed to kill a few, but I was spared, given a new lease on life like you did in the past.  Now I serve them to honor our people." "You honor the Azures by killing innocent people in cold blood!? You should be ashamed!" I roared before getting stepped on my back and kicked in the ribs. Exhaling sharply, I rolled on to my back and looked up at the Liandri Representative, aiming her hand-cannon at my head. "It was more than what you did, you left us, 10 years we waited to see you return, to reunite with your people but no! You had to stay back on Earth to rejoin with your son!" "Sorry I didn't return earlier, but you said it yourself... I was given a new lease on life, and I overcame my demons." "Enough of your prattle Captain. I looked up to you after you took me in... Now it's time to surpass the master." Aiming at my head, she slowly wrapped her finger around the trigger and was about to blow my brains out, however, I'm not planning to die here and now, not again.  I pushed through the pain and performed a sweep kick, knocking her down and allowing me to get back up. While she was down, I grabbed her FSSG-50 and aimed at the robots. I quickly pulled the trigger and fired a .50BMG round at the mechanized troops, even without aiming with precision, I managed to take down one by removing his head from his shoulders. He collapsed in a heap, black oil spurting everywhere.   Didn't have time to take out the second one, cause I got a pistol whip to the back of the head, immediately I felt a throbbing pain going through my skull as I staggered forward.  That leopard anthro got back up to her feet with AM67 in hand, she aimed at me and fired. Barely had enough time to dodge, and my left rib was grazed. Enough was enough, I grabbed the pistol from her hand and pointed it at her, however, I wasn't planning to shoot her point blank, rather I used the flash module on the gun to temporarily blind her. So while she was seeing white, I kicked her back down. When her sight came back to, the tables were turned as I was pointing the pistol at her, but she wasn't afraid to die, rather she smiled at me. "Even after death, you're still in your prime, Captain." She complimented me, sounded genuine, but I had enough senior moments for one day, I was on my guard. "Thanks, but I'm not here to play around." I said coldly and curtly. "Get you and your troops out of Graal and don't come back here." "An empty threat from a has-been... you won't come back to Dessara once you leave. I'm doing these people a service so that Dessara will be remembered." "Be remembered for needless bloodshed and insatiable greed." "In your opinion Captain... but as for your demands..." She lunged to her feet and tackled me onto my back, causing me to release the gun and it slid away. "Motion to leave: Denied." She gave her one liner before punching me a few times in the face, causing my vision to blur up a bit, my headache growing stronger.  I winced in pain, it was overwhelming. I managed to see an opening, when she brought her right arm down, I grabbed it and rolled her onto her back; unleashing some palm strikes to her face. They were pretty good strikes as well, cause her nose and mouth began to bleed red, not black, not blue, real blood. About 6 strikes later and she pushed me off, getting onto her feet while panting. I too got on my feet and assumed my Aikijiujitsu stance, I pointed at her and curled my fingers, beckoning her to come here and get it on. No not like that. She responded by assuming her Wing Chun stance and came running at me. Chopping and swinging at me, she was relentless in her offense, but she hasn't met a formidable defense. I managed to dodge and weave to avoid her strikes, and as part of my Aikijiujitsu stance, I grabbed her right arm and redirected her energy upwards, causing her shoulder to pop out of its socket. Then I kicked her away with ease, causing her to stagger back, holding her disjointed shoulder. She looked at her robotic soldier behind me, who was sitting still, causing her to hiss at him. "Don't just stand there you idiot! Help your boss!" She shouted at him. "Affirmative." Now the fight was 2 against one, while I can fight an organic being hand to hand, a robotic one wasn't possible. That armor's so heavy that it'll break my hands and ankles if I tried to combat it, and he even has a Flak Cannon, so he can rip me to shreds with just one shot.  So I need to be careful. Especially when I got Ms. Leopard butt behind me. Looking in front of me, and behind me, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place; I searched for a firearm on the ground, be it my MSMC, the AM67 Combat Pistol or that FSSG-50 Marksman Rifle; heck, even a Rocket Launcher will do and I'm terrible with those! Once more I was in a do or die situation, I had to get out of it fast. I remembered one thing about my Nakotan tradition, if you have to fight someone and your weapon isn't in your hand, you must resort to underhanded techniques... much to my chagrin. I crouched low and scooped up some mud from the ground, then I quickly chucked it at the anthro. My B-sized cleavage jigged behind my bra and of course, the leopard had to dodge it, but she left herself briefly open. So I ran towards her, tackled her to the ground then I rolled behind her, grabbing my MSMC. Don't know how many bullets are left in the magazine, just hope it's enough to take down the droid. Gathering my focus was easy and soon, I aimed my PDW and fired at the exposed servos on his arms. Some of the 5.56x30mm bullets missed, others managed to rip the servos apart, rendering his arms useless; causing him to drop his Flak Cannon and look at his arms. "Unit incapacitated." He said in his usual cold, lifeless expression. When the female anthro got up, I chucked my MSMC at her, knocking her back down and that's when I walked up to her, grabbed her by the back of her neck and began to slam her face into the mud multiple times. Adrenaline was flowing through my veins, I lost my sense of control... I just wanted this to stop. And soon, I got my wish. "STOP!" She cried out, panting. "Stop! Stop Erika!" Slamming her one more time, I let her go and backed up as she sat up, dazed and beaten with teeth missing from her mouth, blood, sweat, and dirt covering her face, her dress was stained, she was done for now. "Fine... you win Captain. I'll leave Grall... but rest assured, we will meet again, and next time... things will be different." "Just go..." I replied, panting myself. Spitting out some blood, the anthro tapped her ear twice, activating her communicator. "2 to warp back to Liandri HQ, Codename Kat, and Unit LRK-5504M. Mission aborted, ran into unexpected resistance." Her atoms scattered into red balls of light as well as the robot who had his arms disabled, the fight was over... but when I heard her name, it all came back rushing me, I sank to my knees with a shocked expression on my face. Heart beating through my chest, it was a lot to take in all at once. I didn't care about the people running up to me, heralding me as a heroine, their voices were drowned out, all I could focus on was the past once more; I failed her like I failed the Azures. "Eliza..." TO BE CONTINUED

[yespoetry]

Jayy Dodd: Special Feature

 For Drought & The End of the World

 I remember how summer storms

are still a natural occurrence.

 Again, sun breaks the afternoon cover.

Again, light thunders the air thick.

 So, when this terrain is a known-desert,

this drought is not all the lungs can muster.

 Thirst is this kind of devastation,

a cracked earth, dust blistering:

 an endless land lingers to the shore.

Every Pacific Ocean birth gawks at the fault-line,

 the dwindling flowers in the valley.    

Stakes grounded set wildfires of the dead—

 because every kind of hysteria smokes beyond the hills

& every kind of anxiety hangs over the palm trees.

 What if it was too late to replenish the beaches?

Would the jagged rocks already be in the sea by then?

 All the gold swallowed back into the pan.

All the islands submerge as mountaintops.

 The remnant cliffs would finally exhale,

swallowing them-selves no longer.

 Again vultures, instead of the ghosts

burrowed in the foothills & barren rivers

                       & atmospheric pressure

kept by imminent quake & deluge.

 a-coming of age:

  xi.                    my father tried to tell me manhood

            was the evidence in my middle school underwear,

            but i knew of yahoo video.

i knew what safe search meant. i knew i would never find

            illicit temptations in any closets close to me.

i knew that boyhood busts

            into effluvia of shame & relief. 

i knew arousal as four-letter word.

i knew what listening for footsteps meant closing

             each window to what i hypothesized as myself.

 i saw breasts before i was ever told they were bad things.

i remember the starburst graphic over 2am co-ed nipple

            telling me of the going wildness of girls.

i wanted my chest to excite censorship. i wanted to be

            parentally warned against. 

i thought being a man was a science

            but learned my dick is so much like Schrödinger cat,

            only appearing when you stare it directly in the eye.

you can’t tell me i’m not here, she purrs.

 i have never trusted that which grows between me.

i have resisted holding my faith in such a fickle extremity.

  xviii.                 i’d have to cast niggas in white face

to play my high school friends.

 i’d allow the white mothers

to play themselves, again,

the ineffectual saviors of guilt

& soccer practices.

 their fathers

would all be played by me,

touching myself

in the suit worth more

than my last three meals.

 i wanted to be a JD Salinger,

more than Holden Caufield.

& i hated wanting to Blackface-

white anxieties. it was all i knew,

the only frustration seemed fragility.

 everyone around me is in on the joke:

me trying to pass as more than

fiction beside them.

 i was held in constant disbelief.

the unconventional intermission

where the cast comes in the audience

in character & plays along.

that’s the humor here,

i know you know

i’m playing apart.

            or i want to believe it,

i want to believe

you know this production is for you.

  xiv.                   i’ve only been called a faggot to my face once.

            & i knew him well.

in a car driving by me in our suburban downtown.

he was just trying to surprise me. or remind me

i was outside & alive & never suppose to feel safe.

i remember laughing it off, instinctually.

i must have looked so comfortable before.

unassuming. like I could forget the threat of being

called               out.

 however: this other time

            i was called a faggot kindly,

without the actual word

escaping across the room.

 it was the first day of high school,

in my suburban high school,

a small theater gathering of students

waiting to learn more about the Drama

department & before the meeting starts

among 100 eager eyes,

this chick across the room:

            yo, cutie with the dreads, like girls?

& i have to smile & say yes, instinctually.

i had to laugh off my faggotry,

among the audible groans of pale thirst,

& beastial frustration.

 I Know I Been Changed

            After Lashun Pace (Rhodes) 

 no longer can you call me a beast of this earth

this tender flesh is not satisfied by the harvest

in my mouth — now abundant — is milk & honey

i’ve crossed barren waste for holier land

because i am an angel now

the blood of my body made snow-white robe,

an all gilded miracle, my new language is flight

at my shoulder blades an expanding

without ache — wide as freedom

this body prophesied transfiguration

called itself: divine, called the streets: alabaster

called baptism: the afternoon

 i ain’t what it used to be, made new

made sacrament & fear

no longer confined to sensations or consequence

no longer concerned about the failings of mortality

            i know i been changed & you can’t tell me no better

you will call me out my self, blasphemous

but i have heard on high my body is harmonic gospel

it was written in sacred memory before coming into being

now, i am here ready for rapture, cause

            the angels in Heaven done signed my name

            i said, the angels in Heaven done signed my name

jayy dodd is a blxk question mark from los angeles, california– now based on the internet. they are a professional writer & literary editor. their work has appeared / will appear in Lambda Literary, The Establishment, Assaracus, Winter Tangerine, Dreginald, & Guernica among others. they’re the author of [sugar in the tank] on Pizza Pi Press. their debut collection Mannish Tongues will be be released in 2017 on Platypus Press. they are a 2017 Pushcart Prize Nominee. find them talking trash or taking a selfie.