#Thrawn on the thin fucking ice

[twocrowssinatrenchcoat]

That's how Thrawn: Alliances and Thrawn: Treason goes, right? That's what the books are about?

[verstarppen]

pairing; lando norris x fem! star wars actress! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; i'm glad people liked this so here's the anticipated part 2, if you see mistakes no you don't shhh; also yes i really did try to sneak in my book reccs in this one just close your eyes if you want a taglist let me know! [ series masterlist ]

liked by davefiloni, landonorris, danielricciardo and 296,589 others

yndeathtrooper happy birthday to my super cool boss who's totally not going to fire me for being annoying @ davefiloni

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davefiloni Thin ice

yndeathtrooper you get to fire me after you finish reading ONE thrawn book davefiloni Touché

cherryhamilton INSURENCE FOR THE DATING RUMORS LMAO

lukestarkiller and to many more years of awesome storytelling

verstoppen LANDO IN THE LIKES IS SENDING ME

cc_2224 Happy birthday king!

liked by daniel3.jpg, yndeathtrooper, charles_leclerc and 522,123 others

lando.jpg feel it in the force, yoda one for me

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stappenlover lando norizz

tyrescreamer oh my god he's so

yndeathtrooper boooooo that's so cheesy

lando.jpg but did it work yndeathtrooper the comments are loving it lando.jpg i wasn't talking about the comments

daniel3.jpg I was wondering why the bathroom was preoccupied for so long

lando.jpg had to get the best angles sorry

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 2,752,484 others

yndeathtrooper forever grateful to this community <3 thank you everyone who asked for an autograph and photos at the con, i love you

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revanite AYY THAT'S ME IN THE FIRST PHOTO LET'S GO

danielricciardo See you in four days

yndeathtrooper counting the hours sugarussell WHAT alfajuliet THEY'RE MEETING UP!? ln444 TEAM DANNY WINS AGAIN

liked by yndeathtrooper, danielricciardo, landonorris and 3,021,278 others

mclaren Oh Monaco, we’ve been waiting for you! Dreaming of the glitz and the glamour, the iconic street circuit and how can we forget those spectacular harbour views? 💭😍

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danielricciardo Let's get it

dududumax wooo let's gooo

papayasalad lando p4 i'm calling it

lewisummer not with that crash in qualifying he won't 💀

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,535,101 others

yndeathtrooper hello monaco, you're cute

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charlielechair WHO'S ON THE LAST SLIDE

stappenlover daniel, obviously georgieborgie IT'S LANDO strollette dude daniel literally liked the post papayasalad SO DID LANDO

sabinelorian you can't just leave us on a cliffhanger like that

charles_leclerc 👋

yndeathtrooper 👋👋👋

cad_babe WHO IS IT

sokasnips soft launch?

jarjarblinks we've shot up into the sky and exploded fuck you mean this is suposed to be a soft launch kimirizzkonnen WHO ARE WE SOFT LAUNCHING FFS

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

[seasaltbaptism]

[sithsdoinshit]

Fav videogame for siths and imps please. Also, I live for your content :)

Did most of the siths here already :) ohn god that post is 4 years old now 

Will add Quizzy, Lana, and the Imps here!

inquisitor: dead by daylight. killer main. has played survivor maybe like.. 3 times. and you can bet your ass he spent real money to get cute outfits for his killers.

lana: hitman. she plays it with theron and koth acting as her “advisors” (see also: annoying backseat drivers). she knows it’s complete fiction, yet may or may not have considered some of the scenarios for real life applications.

----

tarkin: valheim. obviously very good at survival games---the only thing he is decidedly not good at in this game is building aesthetically-pleasing buildings. they’re nigh-impenetrable, but fugly (yes, krennic is laughing at him)

krennic: also a minecraft nerd like vader, but focuses even more on buildings than vader does. and unlike vader, only some people are invited to his server (tarkin in particular is banned. maul is on thin fucking ice for “subtly” trying to take over his server)

hux: love-nikki. basically any phone app where you can collect cute things (yes, that includes neko atsume). do not look at him. do not perceive him. touch his phone and you can say goodbye to your gonads

phasma: doom: eternal. hunt demons and conquer hell itself without any other people getting in your way?? at least ask her out to dinner, first.

yularen: among us. it’s easy enough for an old soul like him to pick up and then proceed to kick ass at. just don’t ask him to figure out how to make things like voice proximity work

thrawn: civilization or crusader kings. as much as he enjoys the realistic history aspect of them, he wishes he could create his own nation. definitely not the chiss ascendancy or anything.

kallus: skyrim. oh gods, don’t ask him how many hours he has on it. he’s dedicated so many years of his life to that devil Todd Howard and zeb will never let him live it down

eli: stardew valley. yeah, yeah, he knows, it’s cliche as hell for the wild space country boy to play a farming sim, but fuck is it addictive. and playing it with thrawn makes him feel.. very domestic. 

[not-the-tie-youre-looking-for]

I posted 396 times in 2021

164 posts created (41%)

232 posts reblogged (59%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.4 posts.

I added 1,260 tags in 2021

#reblog - 221 posts

#thrawn - 205 posts

#star wars - 198 posts

#chiss - 169 posts

#thrawn ascendancy - 122 posts

#ezra bridger - 95 posts

#star wars rebels - 83 posts

#wutroow - 60 posts

#tye answers asks - 55 posts

#not the post youre looking for - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#don’t worry she’s gonna make commodore and take over the vigilant and ar’alani will get the steadfast and everything’s gonna be fine

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

if thrawn and ezra ever spar/roll, ezra will 100% take the chance to bite thrawn like the little rat child he is

173 notes • Posted 2021-10-11 04:08:33 GMT

#4

Ooo if you’re still doing art requests could you do Eli Vanto in the fistfight with god palette or Thrawn and Ezra together with any expressions you want from row 7 and 8 respectively??

Thrawn: ok bridger we have to keep a low profile in the spaceport k

Ezra: well now i’m gonna cause problems on PURPOSE

thrawn: oh my god

179 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 16:18:47 GMT

#3

thrawn: bridger. aralani tells me you’ve been up to trouble lately. You need to knock it off you’re making me look bad

ezra, who has zero fucks when it comes to thrawn and is also in charge of a bunch of force sensitive kids now: lmao nice *finger guns*

187 notes • Posted 2021-08-10 04:16:05 GMT

#2

yall get some chiss flesh clouds. as a treat 💙

the left is a regular chiss flesh cloud, while the one on the right is a cloud for eye colors, inspired by @emp-roar's amazing magenta chiss eyes!

205 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 21:19:32 GMT

#1

Eli’van’to: Well, they’ve got great benefits—I get healthcare, housing, and meal plans as well as a good paycheck 🤔 The crew seems to appreciate my work too, and seeing Thrawn every day is pretty nice—

Ezra’Bridger: The Force™️ told me that there were a bunch of force sensitives that needed my help, so obviously i was gonna help them—I mean, look—*picks up young chiss girl*—I don’t even think Thrawn could resist that face—

Brierl’yr’onan: I was blackmailed and subsequently kidnapped. The Jedi (derogatory) bullies me every day, and his hoard of Padawans are on thin ice. I can only hope that Director Krennic is aware of my covert infiltration and is staging a rescue operation as we speak—

260 notes • Posted 2021-04-23 20:03:06 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[aces-to-apples]

I was hoping so bad for a sabine & ashoka team up while they're looking for ezra whos on a roadtrip through wildspace with thrawn for the next tv show😔 (at least it might be fun to have dee bradley baker voice like the entire main cast?)

Tbh I'd rather another animated show that I'd end up ignoring because I'm not interested than another animated show that I'd end up ignoring because Fuck Those Characters And Fuck You Disney. This is not a B*d B*tch friendly blog, I'm sorry. Tech can stay, but that's only because I don't know shit about him other than "Technically they were trying to mate with us!" and therefore he is on thin fucking ice.

Echo, my love, I adore you but you've made a terrible decision and I don't approve. Also, as much as I love the clones, I physically Cannot(TM) cope with the idea of seeing Imperial!Cody and then possibly-probably watching him die for the Empire. I'm not....strong enough.....

[zareleonis]

cartoonfanorwhatever replied to your post “literally how the fuck does the fuel being blown to oblivion and the...”

Destroying the factory was the objective of the mission. Stopping those fighters from being made was important cause they WAAAY outclass the alliance fighters and having superior fighters was their one military advantange over the empire.

except that’s rendered completely meaningless by the fact that the tie defender program was already on thin ice and in danger of being completely scrapped in favor of the death star that was favored by everyone of consequence (palpatine, vader, tarkin despite what he tells thrawn).

what bearing did it have on their actual fight to take back control of lothal from the empire?  am i missing something?

[anoras]

unfollow me right now if you’re an imperial, i don’t need that kind of drama in my life. thrawn can stay but you’re on fucking thin ice

[neonhotelsign]

here's hoping that bitch governor pryce dies in season 4 of rebels!

thrawn u can stay but you're on thin fucking ice

[kaziel]

why are chiss the way they are? aka canon is stupid and legends/the EU can kiss my ass (pt 1)

or, the chiss should not look Like That and i am pissed off about it. this began because i was mad that people kept calling chiss cold, but instead I did some research and made myself angry about character design.

disclaimer before we begin: i am not a biologist, but i know how to google shit. this post is fueled by rage and caffeine.

 Animals built for cold places should have hot blood and animals from hot climates should have cold blood. The opposite would end badly for the poor creature involved. cold blood in cold climate = hypothermia then death. Arctic animals must keep high body temperatures to remain active. Therefore, we can prove that the chiss are not coldblooded creatures (which had been settled already, they’re genetically closest to humans and humans aren’t lizards). 

Alright I’m sure we all have some basic knowledge of animal biology here, but I’m gonna jump right in. Animals that live in extreme cold all have one thing in common: insulation (S2). That’s necessary to keep them alive, or they’d end up as ice cubes floating in an ocean. This takes a few different forms, but mainly

blubber

fur

feathers

So the Chiss don’t have feathers, nor do they have fur, and apparently in legends canon, they all have trim figures (S3). Point 1 as to why legends is bullshit and kiss my ass- the chiss apparently have no kind of insulation. Either they have one hell of a body temperature and can burn enough calories to sustain it (unlikely) or it’s just bad writing. Either way, chiss as they are described could probably not be any colder than human body temperature and still expect to survive on an icy death world. Due to this, their skin probably would not feel cold to the touch (addressed more later) unless you were outside in the winter. Which, of course it’s going to be cold- anything skinlike and exposed is going to feel cold.

As chiss are an offshoot of humanity (S3), they probably wouldn’t differ too much from humanity without quite a long time to evolve. Clearly they had enough time to turn blue from glacial minerals (bullshit, but legends supported bullshit) though legends also states that didn’t develop any of the traits in typical cold weather animals. Why? Why is that? If you wanted a skinny, always in-shape species, at least choose a proper environment (like a desert). 

Well Cahs, if you’re so pissed about it, what would you have chiss look like? I’m glad you asked! The answer is 100% (slightly freezer-burnt) beef. The fact that fat chiss don’t exist? Bullshit. The trim figures that legends is so fond of would have the poor chiss dependent completely upon heating technology and good thermal clothing to keep warm. According to legends canon, chiss also have a crazy fast metabolism- which actually fits with arctic animals. Arctic animals have fast metabolisms to burn the large amounts of energy needed to stay warm and keep their bodies in the typical range for mammals (95-107 °F) (S2). Once created, Arctic animals must have some way to conserve the heat, otherwise the animal would have find and eat a ridiculous number of calories. This leads us back to our earlier problem: insulation. The key to keeping warm is often muscle and fat, a lot of it. Fat is good insulation and helps keep the body warm in the cold (S1, 2, 7) and it’s a common theme for cold weather animals to have a healthy supply. Examples: Blubber on whales and seals, animals gaining weight before winter. If there’s enough food around it’s easier for mammals to be larger, because heat production is proportional to mass (S5), thus arctic animals are usually larger than their warm weather counterparts. 

So let’s assume that if the chiss had enough time to turn blue, they had enough time to adjust the cold hellscape of their planet. 

To start with, they’d be larger and stronger than typical humans. Legends supports the ‘stronger’ part, though the average heights (chiss 1.7m vs human 1.77m) are about the same. Legends can kiss my ass; let’s set a new average height of 1.9m, or around 6′2″. Now, a figure without insulation is bullshit in an arctic environment is bullshit, so let’s add some Beef™ to these guys. They’d probably have a good layer of fat, and a decent amount of muscle. Now, as having a whole species share one body type is limiting, boring, and unrealistic (@ legends), there’s a huge amount of body shapes I can think of off the top of my head that could fit the above criteria. What I’m picturing is a strongman, one without the glossy abs (like this guy). Now, looking at features of other cold weather animals like polar bears and seals, they could (and probably should) have thicker/tougher skin. Spilling blood = loosing warmth, and loosing warmth is bad in cold environments. Polar bears and seals also have dark skin; polar bears have black skin, while seals can have dark shades of brown, purple, or black (S6). This is close enough to blue, I guess I’ll let that one and “”glacial minerals”” slide. The polar bear, arctic wolf, and arctic fox are a few notable examples of cold weather animals with fur- white fur. In the case of polar bears, translucent fur that appears white because of light refraction (S6). This fur usually has a downy, thick undercoat, and then a layer of oily, water repellent hair. The thick, water repellent hair is plausible in a human related species, I believe, and would be beneficial in keeping heads warm. I’m gonna go ahead and say they’d have some body hair too, probably a good amount. You can never have too much insulation if you live on (or under the surface of) a literal ice ball. Realistically, they’d overheat pretty damn fast. It’s possibly to tone that down considering humans can withstand a wide range of temperatures and the fancy thermal gear that exists in the star wars universe, but tatooine is probably still off the menu. So in summary chiss would be/have:

stronger/larger than humans

grey/blue skin

translucent/white hair

more muscle and fat

overheat very easily

warm-blooded

For the hell of it, I’m going to throw a better immune system and sharper senses into the mix, along with an arterial heat-passing system that allows for better heat conservation (S5). Chiss would also have some damn good appetites, because they’d need a lot of food with the metabolism they have. Additionally, it’s been confirmed in the new Thrawn novel that chiss have some measure of infrared vision, which is fitting for living in a rather bleak landscape and underground in caverns.  Legends says their skin and eyes are more vivid the higher the oxygen content. Sure, whatever, the oxygen content is probably pretty damn high in caves, and glowy eyes are handy. More likely, chiss just have very reflective eyes (good for the above ground brightness) that appear to glow red in darker areas. Like cat’s eyes in the dark.

counter argument: “they’re aliens!!1!” “it’s fiction!!!11!!”

I see your points, I do. However, if chiss are on offshoot of humanity, that means they originally evolved on a human world, with familiar human creatures that followed earth-like laws. If they didn’t, legends probably wouldn’t be so damn insistent on keeping them humans, but instead blue with edgy eyes. Also you want star wars hand waving? look at the “glacial minerals.”

Now, the chiss live underground. They wouldn’t be as exposed to the cold of the planet, however the crust of a planet is pretty damn thick so it probably wouldn’t be too much warmer down there without the help of technology. The chiss are also a very technologically advanced society, and have most likely have properly climate controlled buildings (probably cold for humans tho), good insulated clothing, and probably eliminated most of the need for cold weather traits. However, they were needed at some time. and de-evolution isn’t exactly quick. 

So all in all, star wars should check their shit when it comes to biology and y’all with a thing for white hair will be happy. 

thanks for coming to my ted talk, goodnight.

(next up: what fucking chemical could turn chiss blue)

SOURCES:

S1- https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-do-arctic-animals-stay-warm/ 

S2- http://www.coolantarctica.com/Antarctica%20fact%20file/science/cold_all_animals.php

S3 - http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chiss/Legends

S4- https://www.earthlife.net/mammals/warm.html

S5- https://biology.stackexchange.com/questions/5562/how-do-warm-blooded-animals-keep-their-temperatures-constant

S6- http://animals.mom.me/mammals-black-skin-9898.html

dubiously credible

S7- https://weather.com/health/news/do-fat-people-stay-warmer-cold-weather-thin-people-20140103

S8- https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/2ip5ov/do_skinny_people_have_a_lower_body_temperature/