#Thought this was posted but apparently not

[jedda-martele]

Heh, once I went in to the village clerk’s office to do a thing. On the door to the office, on a stanchion in the middle of the floor, and taped to one side of the desk where you talk to a clerk were signs telling folks that, if they needed to renew their yearly parking pass, they needed to go downstairs and not ask at the upstairs desk. I got my form (for an unrelated matter), stood to one side filling it out, and watched two people come in, walk past two signs and stand by a third to ask about renewing their yearly parking pass. When I turned in my form I said to the lady at the desk ‘you can never have enough signs can you’ and she heaved the biggest sigh I have seen in my entire life. I thought she was about to go off but the sigh was apparently enough because she only said ‘seems like’. I wished her luck before going on my way. But yeah, there are always people who don’t read signs no matter how thoroughly you post.

one thing working in museum taught me is that you can have as many signs & as many explanations as you so wish people still will not read. "it's not clear at all on your website!!!" it sooo so is i promise my colleague was even kind enough to color-code the tabs & add a little image that shows what "group" means. my sister in the allmother's wide arms you might just be dumbfuck stupid. and mean and entitled as well. at your big age.

[bucketbueckers]

mess me up - paige bueckers

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader wc: 6.1k content warnings: language, abuse of italics, grammatically incorrect past tense flashback, smut robbery(?), pretty mature but nothing graphic synopsis: your friends invited you out to a frat party to celebrate the men’s team winning the NCAA tournament where you bump into paige bueckers, the girl who you're in love with and who you ghosted for a month after hooking up with her. a much-needed conversation at the party forces you to revisit difficult memories and give her the closure she’s been seeking. notes: idk what this is! based loosely off of 'friends' and 'mess me up' by chase atlantic. unfortunately the smut robbery line is for real, like it's smut in the way lacroix tastes like real fruit (which is to say it's not smut, but like concepts of smut... 😝 (i've never had lacroix idk if this is accurate)) side note i hate writing in past tense but doing a traditional flashback scene is corny as hell! idk if it matters but this is set april 2024 (w/ a february 2024 flashback); doesn't really affect anything, so... anyway, second post on tumblr, lmk if we're rocking w it ��‍↕️

For the record, you didn’t want to come to this party.

It’s hot, sweaty, loud, and all you can smell is the same brand of men’s cologne and weed. The air is both stale and somehow feels wet and all you can think about is getting back to your apartment so you can shower and go to bed. You had a mock trial bright and early the next morning and your law professor was a stickler for punctuality and presentability – showing up with wrinkled clothes and smelling like a frat party was a sure-fire way to fail, and you had too much riding on your grades to let that happen.

The frat (whose name you’ve already forgotten) was celebrating the NCAA tournament win for the UCONN men’s basketball team. They’d apparently gone back to back, which you guess is cool, but you swore off basketball a long time ago. If you had your way, you’d be at home, three steps into your skincare routine, but you let peer pressure get the best of you and allowed your friends to drag you out.

It’d be fun, they said. You never come out with us! You’re spending all this tuition money and you’re not even taking advantage of it. How can you say you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?

You only remember that your friends are law students, too, in the most unfortunate of moments when they put their persuasiveness to the test. In the most unfortunate of moments, you’re also reminded of the fact that they’re college students, too, because they’re leaving you at the door and rushing off to find something to drink. You weren’t upset they dragged you out. Not necessarily. You were grown enough to say no. Perhaps you’d simply set your expectations too high when they begged you to come out and you thought they would spend at least a little bit of time with you before doing their own thing. But sure. It’s whatever.

So, here you are – standing alone in the corner of a frat party, watching as drunk college students grind against each other, laugh, and have a good time. A part of you feels like you’re missing out, but as you watch somebody throw up into a plant, you feel like you’re just fine where you are.

You’re drawn from your thoughts when a man wearing a backwards cap suddenly shows up next to you. “Yo, you thirsty?” he yells over the music, thrusting a red solo cup into your empty hands. You don’t have the time to say anything to him before he’s grinning at you, eyes red and hooded. “Come dance with me. You’re too pretty to be standin’ here all alone.”

You hear her before you see her.

“She’s good, bro, trust,” Paige interrupts smoothly, throwing a casual arm around your shoulders. You feel too much like a damsel in distress, but sensing the gravity of the situation, you flash the guy a light smile and lean into Paige slightly. Her grip tightens. You try to not let it bother you.

He raises his hands, surrendering. “My bad. You got it.”

Paige hums, unconvinced, as he leaves. When he’s out of your sight, you wrench yourself out of her grip. “Thank you, but not necessary,” you tell her sharply, red solo cup still in your hand. If this was how your night was going to go, then you need to be a little tipsy to survive it. You barely have it halfway to your mouth before Paige is pulling it out of your grasp, pouring its contents into a potted plant and chucking the cup into a nearby trash can. “What the fu–”

“First of all,” she begins, arms crossing protectively, “never accept a drink at a party that you didn’t pour, didn’t see someone else pour, or a drink that’s already open; matter fact, don’t accept a drink unless you opened it or brought it in yourself.”

You roll your eyes slightly. “This is Storrs, Paige. Do the frats really get down like that here?”

Her gaze is unimpressed. “You’re the law student, ma, you tell me the numbers. Second of all, you’re welcome. That was Kylin. He doesn’t take no for an answer in the first place but he’s all kinds of fucked up right now. I’d say I did you a favor but I wanted to talk to you, anyway.”

“Funny,” you deadpan. “Here? Now?”

“What are you doing here?” she asks you, ignoring your snippy words. “Thought this wasn’t your scene.”

You pause. “It’s not,” you confirm. “Jos and Chelsea wanted me to come out. Figured I should be a good friend once in a while.”

Paige raises a brow. “Jos and Chelsea are too busy playing strip poker with dudes from Kappa Phi to keep an eye on you, and you’re worried about having to be a good friend?”

“First of all,” you say in the know-it-all tone that Paige had used on you, “I don’t need them to keep an eye on me.” The blonde hums again, not entirely convinced, and the heat of her gaze makes you stumble over your words slightly. “Second of all, why do you even care?”

“We’re friends,” she states.

“We were once,” you correct, voice softening. It’s no secret that you and Paige had fucked up whatever you had going on. It’s never been clear whose fault your fallout was (it was yours), nor could the two of you ever agree on what destroyed you (you would argue that you shouldn’t hook up with your friends, especially not the ones you were in love with). It was a messy situation that you were sure the two of you couldn’t recover from (you didn’t want to be friends with someone you couldn’t have; Paige just wants you to give her the chance to prove you otherwise).

“Sure,” she agrees half-heartedly, knowing your spiel by heart now. “Kinda fucked up you think I need a reason to care.” You don’t dignify that with a proper response, feeling something strangely like guilt corroding your heart. “Come outside and get some air with me? Please? Just wanna talk, no funny shit, I promise.”

You sigh, feeling yourself fall back into all too familiar routines. You had a near inability to say no to Paige most times – it was the reason why you had to put a stop to your friendship. And here you are now, undoing all of the progress you’ve made since you’ve been apart (a small part of you knows better; you’re moving forward but you’re not really doing any better. You’re not progressing. You’re just stuck now, only this time, you have less than you did before). “Jos and Chelsea–”

“–made their choice,” she finishes for you. “And their choice was strip poker with a guy named Anthony,” she adds solemnly. You can’t help but quirk a smile at the absurdity of your life right now. “C’mon, please? It fucking reeks in here. They’ve got a porch swing outside and it’s all quiet and shit.”

“You’ve always had a way with words,” you tease.

“You comin’ or nah?” she asks, but you shove her forward (she lets you) and she leads you through the crowd to the door. They part like the Red Sea and you can’t help but admire the way she silently commands the room, feeling a flutter in your chest you try desperately to stomp out. It’s like a fire; all it takes is a small spark before it eventually grows out of proportion. You know better now.

The door shuts behind the two of you and you sit on the porch swing. You can still hear the music’s pounding bass, but it’s muted. You feel like you can hear your thoughts now. The tension in your shoulders eases as you take in the crisp night air, the crickets’ chirps, the occasional owl’s hoot. For a moment, you forget all of the complicated history between you and Paige; the way she held your hand as she kissed up your thigh, the way she stayed afterwards, cleaning you up and bringing you water. It almost seems as Paige is reliving all of it, too, as she looks at you, and that thought is sobering enough to bring you back to the moment.

You finally get a good look at what she’s wearing. It’s nothing outstanding; a gray Nike tech suit and a pair of dunks, although she’s opted to leave her jacket unzipped, revealing the crop top underneath. She’s dressed for comfort, though the most unfair part of it all is how good she looks when she’s not trying. Her cheekbones are sharp, eyes blue and wide and alert, and you can’t help but notice how fitting a slick-back bun is on her.

This was precisely why you needed your space. You couldn’t control your thoughts or feelings. It was manageable when you minded your business – the phrase out of sight, out of mind did wonders for you and you were usually busy enough that she only crossed your mind once or twice a week when the student population was buzzing about a recent game. But now? Now you’re fucked. You’re inches away from her and you’ve allowed her to pull you back into her orbit. She’s the Earth and you’re a meteor – any closer and you won’t be able to come back from the damage you would do to each other. She would survive, you’re sure, but you’d be destroyed in the process.

“So,” she says slowly. You avert your eyes, staring at anything but her. “How you been?”

“Good,” you lie. “Keeping busy.” That part was less of a lie, but it wasn’t her business to know.

Paige has always been good at reading you, so she gazes at you like she’s not convinced. “I think we’re overdue a conversation,” she says, surprising you. “A real one. No more of this running in circles bullshit.”

“Okay,” you agree hesitantly. You finally meet her eyes. They’re strikingly blue, disarming, and you feel an odd mixture of guilt and longing eat away at your insides. She looks like she’s drinking you in, like she’s trying to understand why you did what you did; her eyes soften in the dim glow of the porchlight and you can’t help but flush under her gaze. She always understands you in spite of how often you push her away – she seems to understand why you keep her at arm’s length, too, and it’s then that you fully understand how overwhelming it is to be known.

“Why did you leave?” she asks finally. You have to swallow back the bile in your throat. “The morning after.” Her clarification does nothing to soothe the turmoil in your stomach. “I thought…” Paige’s throat bobs as she tries to find the words. “It wasn’t a hook up. It meant something to me – everything to me. So why did you leave like that shit ain’t matter to you?”

That night in February comes back to you in the blur of a memory. You’ve thought about it so often that you could write a play-by-play of it; every single unremarkable detail comes back to you in a flourish of vibrant color – the way the floor felt beneath your feet as Paige guided you into her room, the slight scratch of her nail against the base of your neck as her hands found purchase in your hair. Paige was wrong. It meant something to you, too much to you. You often remind yourself, if it meant that much, why was it easier to run away? Jumping off of a diving board into a pool conceptually means the same thing as jumping off of a cliffside into beach waves; the jump isn’t the hard part, it’s the reminder of the distance between your feet and the surface. Your feelings for Paige are too consuming. It’s easier to not make the jump at all than it is to worry if you’ll be able to come up for air.

She was in high spirits, drunk off of their win against Villanova. They weren’t an opponent you’d typically call home for, but the Huskies were having a tough season with several injured players and a lot of underclassmen. It was close, 67-46; Paige had contributed to a little less than half of their points overall with a solid 31. She was happy, the rest of her team was happy, and she’d begged you to come over to her apartment for the post-game festivities – which was usually games and snacks as they weren’t big on drinking during the season. You’d nearly refused at first. It was supposed to be a small team get-together and you had some work to catch up on. You eventually gave in, like you always do. Paige had flashed her typical, charming smile, looping an arm around your waist, and you were a goner.

The team accepted you like you were one of their own, too. That was new. You didn’t spend as much time with them as you did with Jos and Chelsea, but it felt like you knew them better than you knew Jos and Chelsea, anyway. Ice and KK were two menacing peas in a pod – they were like sisters separated at birth and whenever they were together, something chaotic was bound to happen, but they loved and protected fiercely despite the way they teased each other and the team. Caroline was like the team mother and many of the girls called her such. Nika was intense on the court, but off of it, she was Paige’s twin through and through – they always had something to say to each other and their banter often brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Azzi was sweet and well-loved by the team (and the student population in general). She introduced you to her and Paige’s son Ines, which confused you at first, but Paige threw her arm over your shoulder and assured you that they’re only co-parenting because Carol has enough children and they didn’t want Ines to be a ward of the court. You couldn’t help but smile at that, leaning into Paige – something about the team’s dynamic healed you a little, and Ines joked that Paige went out and got her a stepmom.

You felt the blush creep up your neck as Paige tightened her grip around you slightly. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, son,” Paige had said somberly, pretending to look sad as Azzi rolled her eyes. “Your mother was havin’ an affair–”

“Oh, bullshit!” Azzi cried. The entire room broke out into fits of giggles.

“Now I understand why Paige wifed up a lawyer,” KK said in between laughter. “Tryna get a discount on that divorce, huh?”

The team had tears in their eyes from their excitement – you didn’t have the heart to tell them you were hoping to specialize in civil litigation, so you just laughed along. The conversation continued to flow as games were played. Nika was exceptionally bad at UNO and Paige never let her hear the end of it. You guys only managed to play a couple of rounds before Nika suddenly got good and played a +4, prompting Ice and KK to stack +4s of their own onto it – Paige stared in disbelief for a solid thirty seconds before picking up 12 cards and rage-quitting one turn later when KK skipped her.

“There, there,” you’d said, lips trembling as you tried not to laugh at the look on Paige’s face. You rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, and she pushed you off her gently, her own lips quirking in amusement. “Show this card game who’s boss.”

“Bro,” she grumbled, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she leaned back into the couch, her arm finding home over the back of your shoulders once more. You remember wondering if this is what normal felt like, what finally finding a community was like – you fit in too well with Paige’s teammates and they made you feel at home. Being near Paige made you feel at home. She was talented that way. She had an uncanny ability to make people feel at ease, regaling them with jokes and an endless supply of charm. When you realized you were in love with Paige Bueckers, you weren’t surprised about it. If anything, you might have been a little upset with yourself – you were sure you weren’t the only person she’d drawn in unintentionally, ensnared in a web whose latticework was meticulously shaped like basketball netting.

As the night went on, more and more laughs were shared until the clock reached midnight and many of Paige’s teammates got up to leave. Everyone shared hugs and affectionate goodnights. All of them even looped around to hug you – which was… nice. Paige shared her apartment with Azzi and Aubrey, so they retired to their own rooms after curious glances to you and Paige, still curled up together on the couch.

The apartment was quiet. You could hear the ring of silence as it enveloped the two of you, Paige’s gentle breathing, and the tick of the clock. It was oddly comforting; normally, it would have lulled you into a drowsy state, but you couldn’t focus on anything but the heat of Paige’s body next to yours, the brush of her thumb against your shoulder. Feeling both unmoored and tethered, you shift next to Paige, gathering her attention. “I should go,” you’d whispered. Her thumb halted.

“Stay,” she requested. She tilted her head. Her gaze met yours. You expected her eyes to be half-closed, dim with sleep. The rasp of her voice was attributed to a tone you knew she’d adopt when she was exhausted, but her eyes were wide, alert, dilated, a blue so dark you were sure you almost mistook the sheer want for something else. “Stay,” she murmured again. “Please.”

“Yeah,” you agreed almost breathlessly, feeling her hand squeeze your shoulder gently. “Sure.” She untangles from you and stands from the couch, offering you her hand, and you take it. She led you seamlessly through the dark of her apartment into her bedroom, where she released you long enough to rifle through her drawers, having found you a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt for you to wear to bed. Paige pointed you towards the bathroom. You changed into her clothes. Your fingers had shook with anticipation at the sheer domesticity of it all as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your – her – t-shirt read HOPKINS GIRLS BASKETBALL. It had all felt so different now. You hadn’t been sure at the moment if it terrified you or excited you.

You exited the bathroom to find Paige’s back to you, adjusting the band of a pair of basketball shorts around her hips. Her hair was out of her bun and it cascaded down her back in loose, wavy strands; you’d felt an inexplicable urge to run your fingers through it, to find out if her hair was as soft as it looked. She was wearing a dark black sports bra. The two of you were friends. Granted, you were in love with her, but the sight of her wearing nothing but ball shorts and her Nike bra shouldn’t have done the things it did to you.

“Which side is yours?” you’d asked, mostly to break the silence. You ignored the crack in your voice. Paige paid it no mind as she turned, which forced you to avert your eyes, trying not to glance at her abdominals.

“Don’t matter,” she responded. You watched the way she moved, sitting low on the bed, legs long and stark against the purple of her comfort. “You gettin’ in or what?” You hoped she couldn’t see the flush on your neck. You slid into bed next to her, hoping to maintain some sort of distance, but she refused to let you get too far. She slung her arm over your waist, fingers brushing against your skin where your shirt rode up. Her breath was even against your neck and the heat of her body nearly turned your brain into mush. “This okay?” she asked, tone softer.

“Mhm,” you hummed, afraid to speak or you might fuck up and tell her just how okay it actually was. Paige was just a touchy person, you tried to remind yourself as you felt the tickle of her hair against the nape of your neck. This doesn’t mean anything to her. It was all for naught. It did little to quell the way your heart raced, the way the heat pooled low in your belly.

“You looked good tonight,” she said casually. You tried to stop the goosebumps as they rose on your flesh. “You always do.”

Unable to think of something smart to say, you shifted your body slightly, your fingers splaying over the arm she held tight around your midsection. “Oh, yeah?” Her fingers brushed a little lower on your stomach, grazing the waistband of your shorts.

She hummed an affirmative, pulling you tighter against herself, and you could barely breathe. It was overwhelming in the best way – she was all around you. Physically, you felt as though you were in her skin as she greedily pulled you in. The scent of her was everywhere; the shampoo that seeped into her pillows, the cologne on her neck. Your hair stood on end as her lips brushed almost imperceptibly against the shell of your ear. “‘M glad you came tonight,” she whispered.

You flipped on your side, face-to-face with Paige. Her arm moved enough for you to get situated and once you were, her hand found the small of your back, her palm warm against your skin. You can’t help the way your breath hitched, even as Paige’s eyes seemed to take in the stuttering rise and fall of your chest. Having found some courage, you poked her cheek, drawing her eyes back up to yours. “What are we doing?” you asked finally, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. Her brow raised slightly, the dark blue of her gaze illuminated by the streaks of moonlight through her window. “No funny shit, Paige. You touch me like you want me, claim me in front of your friends.” You searched her eyes as she fell silent. “What are we doing?” you repeated, voice firmer.

“I want you,” she confessed after a few heartbeats of contemplation. She leaned in closer to you, your noses nearly brushing, and she continued, “I want you so fucking bad. Don’t wanna do anything you’ont want, but–”

Your lips were on hers before she had the chance to finish. She responded eagerly, one hand firm around your waist as she flipped the both of you over, pulling you to straddle her waist. You leaned down, your chest against hers, hands on each side of her neck. You felt the thundering of her pulse under your fingers. It was stabilizing in a sense – words were one thing, but to feel how badly you’d been able to affect her, too, did wonders for your growing ego. Paige’s hands had found your hips, keeping you pressed against her body.

You parted briefly to catch your breath. Paige’s chest heaved, her lips shiny and swollen. She was hard to look away from. For a moment, you’d wondered if this was worth it. Your heart had raced, beating uncontrollably; it felt like too much and not enough at the same time. Everything would change between the two of you. Was one night with Paige worth the risk of losing your friendship? You feel too strongly, too much, overwhelmingly. You’ve been told by an ex or two that you were simply too much. You wouldn’t want to subject Paige to that.

Her right hand met your face, tracing the line of your bottom lip. “You want this?” she asked. Her eyes were blown wide, more pupil than iris, but something about it entranced you. The desire in her eyes had brought fresh heat to your stomach, but coupled with the fact she’d be willing to stop made your heart beat a little faster. She was enough to quell your worries, settling the irregularity of your thoughts. You nodded, leaning down to connect your lips again, but her hand was insistent against your jaw as she held you back. “Words,” she commanded.

You’d barely resisted an eyeroll. “Yes, Paige,” you affirmed. Her hand loosened, eyes searching yours. “Want you.”

Her smile turned smug. “Yeah? How bad?”

The tease sent white-hot desire straight through your body as your hips rolled against hers, trying to find some relief. Her hands fall back down to your waist, helping you rut against her thigh as a shared flush creeped up both of your necks. “You gonna touch me?” you breathed against her lips. Her breath came out a disjointed stutter when you guided her hand to the swell of your ass. It was unnatural – Paige was so sure, so confident. To have her nearly at your mercy was like a drug through your veins, but you didn’t want her there. You wanted Paige fully in control; you wanted her to take care of you, to give you everything you’d fantasized about for months on end. You wanted her so bad it rewired the coding in your brain. There was something about her that broke down all of the walls you spent years building.

Your actions and words had been the only permission she needed. One of her hands gripped the flesh of your ass as the other one cupped the back of your neck. Her nail scratched you inadvertently as she dragged you back down to connect your lips – the slight echo of pain caused you to whine against her lips, a sound she swallowed greedily before she flipped the two of you over once more. Your head fell back against her pillows as she rucked up your shirt, finding that you’d opted to not wear a bra. She groaned indulgently, one large hand coming up to squeeze one of your breasts and her mouth finding the other one.

You ran your fingers through her hair, gripping it tight as she lavished you with attention. “So fuckin’ pretty,” she murmured against you, voice dripping with want. She pressed her knee against your core as she found her way back to your lips, kissing you deeply and drawing another whimper from your parted lips. It sent a jolt through your body. “You gon’ let me do what I want, huh? Get you right?”

“Paige, please,” you begged, all of the shame having left your body as you ground down against her knee, feeling the pleasure and relief simultaneously. “Fuck, do what you want, I don’t care – just please fucking touch me.”

She shushed you, lips back on yours, tongue brushing against your lips like she was trying to take whatever you’d give her. And at that point, you would have given her anything if it meant she’d stop teasing you. “I got you, ma, jus’ relax,” she whispered against your lips. She trailed a blazing path down your chest, leaving hickies as she went. Paige reached the waistband of your shorts; she pressed a sloppy kiss to your navel before bunching her fingers in and pulling them off, throwing them haphazardly into the room.

The air was cold against you. You were breathing heavily by then, eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. Her hand untwisted yours from the bedsheets, linking your fingers together, and that touch alone was enough to bring you back down to earth. “I got you,” she promised again, reminding you, pressing diligent kisses against the inside of your thigh. You relaxed ever so slightly against her, feeling as though you could breathe a little easier, but your body was still incredibly high strung. Paige squeezed your hand. Then her mouth was on you, and you were done for.

She held your hand as she went down on you, talking you through it until your orgasm reached its peak and you sunk into the bed bonelessly. She didn’t release you when she came back up, her smile a mix of smugness, pride, and quiet adoration. Paige kissed your knuckles, your cheeks, your lips, drawing a contented sigh out of you. “You good?” she asked, brushing your hair out of your eyes, hand cradling your jaw.

Exhausted, all you could do was hum an affirmative. Paige flashed a small smile again, pressing a kiss to your forehead and crawling off the bed, much to your surprise. “Lemme get you some water,” she said. “‘M coming right back, I promise.”

You nodded wordlessly, closing your eyes and sinking back into the pillows as your breathing evens out. She left her room, the door shutting with a silent click. In the silence of Paige’s bedroom, curled up in her purple comforter, all you can think about is how the future of your friendship has inexplicably changed forever. She said she wanted you. Did she just mean sexually? Paige was always intentional in her communication, a byproduct of her media training. Tears brimmed your eyes when you considered the idea that you might have just been another Wednesday night fling for her. Here you are again, feeling stupid about the overwhelming feelings you harbored for Paige despite your better judgment. The worst part was that it wasn’t her fault. You got your hopes up.

You wiped your eyes when you heard the door open again. Paige crossed the room, cracking open a cold bottle of water for you and pressing it to your lips. You nearly forgot about your inner turmoil when she smiled at you again, having thrown her hair back up into its bun. “Gonna clean you up, okay?” she informed you. At your nod, she runs a warm washcloth between your thighs, getting rid of the lingering stickiness. She carefully redressed you, squeezing your hips gently, and you’re left feeling so incredibly conflicted that you’re breathless with the anxiety. Paige disposed of the washcloth and curled up next to you in bed once more, an arm wrapping around your midsection. You’d told each other goodnight, but as her breath evens out against your neck, your mind races.

You slept fitfully through the night. And when morning light rolled around, you extracted yourself from Paige’s grip, sliding a pillow into her arms. The nervousness and all of your overthinking thoughts made you queasy with grief. You were in love with Paige Bueckers. That much was true. You were too head over heels for her to return to normalcy; you couldn’t. At that point, it would be easier for you to not be friends with her at all than to pretend like she wasn’t everything you’d ever wanted.

As she slept, you casted one last guilty look over your shoulder and you ran.

But that night in February has long since passed, and on the porch swing on a much warmer night in April, Paige stares at you in desperation, seeking answers to the questions you’ve withheld for over a month. “Why did you leave?” she asks you again. “Fuck, tell me the truth, lie to me, whatever, just please give me something to work with.”

“It was overwhelming,” you finally admit, twisting the rings on your fingers. You feel terrible as you glance at Paige, whose eyes soften when she takes in your expression.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shoulda seen that something was wrong.”

You close your eyes, lips trembling. You’re touched at how she instantly takes responsibility for your fuck ups, thinking she’s done something wrong. “No, Paige,” you correct her. “Fuck. It wasn’t you. It was never you.” You pick at a loose string on your shorts. She stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “You were so gentle. That night meant everything to me, and that was the problem. I wanted you so bad – Jesus Christ, I was in love with you for months. I don’t do casual. I always feel too strongly and I loved you so much that it was fucking overwhelming. I woke up and nearly lost it because I couldn’t handle the idea of having you like that and having to pretend like I didn’t want you like that forever. It was so much easier to run and not face the possibility of having to be your friend when all I’ve wanted was more.”

When you finally look back to Paige, her eyes are wide with something that looks strangely like grief, like you’ve pulled the rug from under her feet and watched as she fell. As you think about it, that’s probably what you’ve done, anyway. She spent so long thinking that your fallout was her fault, that it was something she’d done, but the ugly truth of the matter was that you were too scared of the way you felt for her that you ran from it instead. Paige runs a frustrated hand over her jaw, her expression nearly unreadable. You frown. “I’m sorry,” you say quietly, knowing that your apology is long overdue. You fucked up so incredibly bad with her. Your brain remembers her prior words, the ‘It wasn’t a hook up. It meant something to me – everything to me,’ and you suddenly feel like an idiot. God, it was mutual this entire time and you were too caught up in yourself to realize it.

“You think too fucking much,” Paige says finally, and you hardly have the time to react before she’s kissing you, her hands gripping your hips. You nearly gasp against her lips before you fully register what’s happening. Sinking into it, you wrap your arms around her neck, feeling suddenly like everything is finally aligning, that all of your blurred focal points sharpen. When she pulls away, her eyes are alight with understanding. “So, lemme get this straight. You pushed me away ‘cause you’re in love with me, then we fucked, and you thought I wouldn’t wife you up?”

You frown, feeling stupid all over again. “Well, when you put it like that…yeah?”

Paige sighs. “Fuck. Look at my lawyer – you’d send dudes to jail left and fucking right ‘cause you jump to conclusions too early. Thank God you’re not going into criminal defense.”

You shove her away from you, feeling the embarrassment bloom on your cheeks. You can’t help but laugh as you say, “You’re an asshole.”

She guffaws, reaching for your hands, intertwining your fingers. “Says you! You ghosted me for a month and let me think I fucked us up. Jesus Christ.” She twists the ring on your finger mindlessly as she searches for the right words. “Okay, lemme be really fucking clear. I’m in love with you, too. Like, I’m fuckin’ crazy about you. There is nobody but you. You aren’t too much for me – I love you for you, no ifs, ands, buts, whys, hows, nothing. I know you thought you were protecting us by pushin’ me away, but you gotta let me make that choice, too. I want this with you, alright? Will you gimme that chance?”

Her words leave the two of you in silence. You can still hear the chirp of the crickets, the thrumming from the party indoors. You can feel the way her thumb brushes over your knuckles, the way her eyes bore into yours, patiently waiting for your decision. But distinctly, you can see the plea, the desperation for you to just give into what she knows the both of you are feeling. Your anxiety and constant overthinking never ruined the two of you. It may have set you back, but you and Paige found your way back to each other. Maybe you’re not a meteor, dangerously crashing into her and disintegrating on impact. Maybe the two of you are something simpler – the moon and the tide. She was never going to let you get hurt if only you’d give her the opportunity to show you that.

So, you take that leap – whether it’s off the diving board into the pool or the cliffside into beach waves, you don’t care. You know now that Paige is waiting for you at the surface. “I want this, too,” you affirm, watching the smile bloom on her face like springtime flowers, and you seal the deal by pressing your lips to hers. She responds eagerly, her arms tight around you. You loathe that it took the two of you this long, that it was your fault for not trusting Paige with your heart when she’s given you no real reason to doubt her; despite this, her lips taste like forgiveness and yours like atonement. In spite of everything, you made it here in the end, and it was worth it.

[jordanswitches]

yeah i am thinking about someone tickling me and looking at me with shiny eyes and the biggest smile because they love it when i laugh, what about it

[pharawee]

I'm trying to catch up with all the BL news I missed (which apparently was quite a lot) so I thought I'd make a quick post about it to put my thoughts in order:

First up is the trailer for The Renovation, a two-episode series about a writer, Pee, who turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner Arthit into the plot for his new novel (which goes over about exactly as well as you might expect). This drops on 14 & 21 December on One31 (so no official inter release yet).

Then there's a teaser for Rearrange, a high school band BL with a time travel twist and a what looks to be a GL side couple. And apparently the bad boy bassist and the nerdy drummer get together too which is exactly how things should be.

Next up, Boxer the Series (which is not the same as Boxer in Heart - another BL that was quietly cancelled in pre-production) have announced their cast with some familiar faces: Time Obnithi (The Whisperer, Bad Guy My Boss), Team Tatchanon (Twins), David Matthew Roberts (The Hidden Moon), Beboy Nanthakorn (who hopefully finally escaped from 9NAA) & Guide Piyawat (will be in The Hell Guard).

2025 might finally be the year of Muay Thai BL. 🤞

I have no idea if Hidden is a BL but it stars Tong Thanayut (as Kris) and it will release on youtube on 3 December. The plot certainly sounds intriguing (and messy):

On the night of Ten's birthday party, Ten, Kris, Pheem, and Prao find out about someone hiring Korn to secretly take pictures of Pheem. To figure out the truth, Kris and Pheem decide to hire Korn to take pictures at Ten's birthday party.

Director Golf Tanwarin's next series Love Like a Bike will apparently be exactly that: lots of couples and lots of bikes - and I most definitely appreciate it.

The series will star Masu Junyangdikul (who's kind of a big deal but it's his first BL role afaik) and Tee Thanapon (2 Moons, Triage), Win Thanat and Danny Luciano (The Loyal Pin), and Ta Nannakun (Kinnporsche, DFF) and Nanon Ruangdet (I love how everyone just copied the hashtags and I had to go on a whole google journey to find out their names).

The series is set around Nueng, a psychiatrist (a psychiatrist? in my BL??), and Sailom, a student suffering from a fear of being touched (played by Masu & Tee).

And then finally there's Eyes on You, a co-production between Hong Kong and Thailand (but filmed in Bangkok with a Thai cast) whose pilot will be unveiled on 27 November.

The plot summary on MDL sounds amazing tbh:

Two years ago, Just abandoned his law studies and severed ties with Rule to uncover the truth behind his parents' murder. Two years later, Rule, now a lawyer and still haunted by Just's disappearance, finally tracks him down to a seedy Gogo Bar, only to find him embroiled in a deadly feud with the Kung gang. But Just isn't alone. The bar is a haven for those consumed by vengeance: Salt, the security guard who always has a bloody smell, the runaway teen Tiger, and Ice, the ruthless madam running sexual business for the gang. Each carries the scent of violence, a simmering powder keg waiting to explode. Are you ready to descend into their dark, bloody, and tear-soaked path to retribution?

And that's it - except for the ThamePo trailer which everyone but me has already watched (I'll get to it right after posting this).

[duran-duran-less-official]

Readers added context they thought people might want to know:

The-Cybersmith's post differs substantially from the above post in that it proposed keeping the hypothetical human pet spayed, neutered, and variously amputated to make them 'easier to care for'. This would have included a human variant of declawing (removal of toes, fingers), and for no apparent reason, also the removal of their eyes and Achilles tendons.

so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

[fuck-customers]

Tw for bodily functions but it's allergy season and my sinuses are working overtime to make me miserable. One booger did that thing where it dries sharp and keeps stabbing you in the tender meats. It kept making me sneeze and no sneeze was dislodging it and no nose blowing was helping, either. The minute I got a break, I bolted to the family bathroom, washed my hands, and went digging. Apparently I forgot to lock the door because a customer came in behind me a couple moments later and caught me excavating my faceholes. I turned around with a finger up my nose going after the booger harpoon. She backed out without saying anything so I thought that was that. But my coworker sent me a screenshot of a review mentioning the exchange and how people shouldn't buy from us because they could end up ingesting our snot.

First off, I wash my hands every time I leave the bathroom, especially if I've had my hands in any opening of mine.

Second, we're a clothing store. If you're ingesting anything of ours, you're doing it wrong.

Posted by admin Rodney

[yuqsdug]

In the one (1) Block Tales comic i've made so far, I drew the player as this R15 model Noob with modern day Roblox chat. Since blocktales can have four (4) players in a battle, I decided to draw the rest of the sqaud.

OBLIGATORY SEBASTIAN SOLICE

Drew him from memory

READ MORE ABOUT THESE BLOCK TALES CHARACTERS? down below

So you want to know more about these goobers hm?

[Player] (yes that's his name)

- Despite his very cheerful demeanor, he can make grudges extremely easy.

- He's the only one of the squad who talks in modern chat bubbles. Something must've went wrong when he time traveled.

- He still uses R15 because he didn't want to lose his elbows. He needs those to throw balls, Okay?!

- He may, possibly, be abusing the ghost Walker for meaningless- and legally dubious- means. He's not paying for a 777 tix card!

- Was the only who got to experience the later half demo 3. He was quite surprised to be in a hospital after defeating IT. His friends were hovering woriedly over his bed.

- Hatred was particularly strong in this one.

BaconBoy

- Brother of BaconGirl

- Quite a skitish boy, Easily scared. He did not like Telamon's manor ONE BIT!

- the time when his model type was added to Roblox left quite an impact on him. Why were people so mean?

- he forgot to change his scale before time traveling, so now he towers over most people they encounter. Now he's noticed even more and bumps his head on doors... Yay...

- He doesn't know a lot about Roblox before 2016. So the meaning of the swords their collecting is a bit lost on him. He can't help but be a bit fearful of them. The previous holders of the Icedagger and Venomshank seemed to be going insane. And his friends seen awfully attached to the swords they have collected. He hopes everything will end fine.

- FEAR is strong in this one

BaconGirl

- Sister of baconboy

- She can't handle being alone well. Being alone for a short time causes great feeling of solitude. She's always with atleast one of her friends.

- She's in charge of snack duty, she got the biggest bag after all. Someone low on HP? A burger is ready. Low on SP? the Bloxycola is already in your hand. Low on Tix? That's something she can't fix.

- She the only one of the group who realised they should be in the R6 model when they time traveled. She thought the rest also knew this, apparently not.

- The Icedagger is her FAVORITE weapon. Just focus a bit and heal EVERYONE? yes please! ####, She'd let this thing freeze her for less.

- She's a bit cold to the touch

- Solitude is strong in this one

Ann

- short for androgynous default (who is naming these children?)

- Very chaotic person

- They kill every enemy in their wake, be it bird, Mosquito, or zombie. Getting 0 xp does not bring them joy.

- Always has hard mode enable to get more Xp. This has absolutely backfired multiple times.

- They will come up for their friends, every good friend does that! Including when BaconBoy burgers contain pickles.

- Their a fan of the Venomshank. An AOE attack also afflicting poison is. the. best! The pretty flowers coming out of the enemies is a plus too.

- Greed is very strong in this one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thanks for reading that btw.

The drawings were made on my phone.

(trying to post thing broke my Tumblr, lol)

[hyperbali]

If you're a Solavellan do not click here lmao

So I've seen that one post going around that's like "people who are shipping Rook and Solas are missing the point, they don't have a deeper connection than he had with Lavellan, Lavellan knew the real Solas"

And I have never seen such obvious cope in my life lmao

Fact of the matter is that they are both a blip in his existence. Solas knew Lavellan for 1-2 years, of course he's going to be more fixated on the romantic/platonic/situationship/whatever that lasted for millennia and literally broke the world, especially when the aftermath is that he feels like he's on such a different level than everyone left that they are pretty much Tranquil to him! This is a thought that he specifically expressed!

And claiming that Wisdom is the real Solas and Pride is not... also misses the point. Solas is Wisdom is Pride. Solas means Pride. At no point in his interactions with either the Inquisitor or Rook is he ever not lying, even just by omission. Neither of them see who or what he is as a whole, both are always operating at a disadvantage based on how much knowledge he's willing to give, and both have the opportunity to genuinely earn his respect.

As genuinely as Solas can get, at any rate.

Bearing that in mind, his chemistry with Rook compared to Lavellan is like a bonfire to a fireplace, in my opinion (bear that in mind oml). Even back in the day, I wanted the opportunity for a rivalmance with him so bad. I wanted to be able to call him out on his shit, to debate with his ideas, to meet him on a level that he was fully unexpecting and he hates that he loves it. Actively HATES it, not just that it makes him sad.

As it is, this "and so the wolf fell in love with the halla" shit is so cringy. Not at all helped by the fact that a romancing Lavellan apparently pined for him for a decade, couldn't do a damn thing to change his mind in the end, and willingly cuts herself off from her life, family, and friends to be a simpering, lovesick sycophant for the rest of her days. Because the Veil is STILL up. She IS dying in a few decades. And all of it will have been pointless.

Canon is a mess, I'm twisting it in other ways regardless, etc. etc. MY POINT IS

Shipping him with another character is not going to somehow make your ship invalid*. You can still make your favourite dolls kiss how you like. Relax about it.

(That last bit is not derogatory, as I am also proudly clanging my dolls together as usual. Just! Relax!! We are all in hell!!!)

*my 'ship and let ship' mantra has an exception and that exception is neve/lucanis. i'm sorry but it was the dumbest possible pairing for either of them and bioware should have let both of their nonromanced pairings be queer

[leikeliscomet]

Im just gonna say it: the exact same argument about series 11 having a woman playing the Doctor but w/ inconsistent politic & fake activism applies to series 14 & a lil of RTD2 in general but in Black. Respectability politics & flimsy anti racism all over the shop

It thinks futuristic racism corrects racism "being a thing of the past" but then actively erases said racism of Britain's past. Twice. Not only that but it glorifies the 60s & regency period. Does "powerful" white supremacy commentary then slaps a regency wig on 15's head 😭

It should go without saying that 1960s & 1800s Britain wasnt some post racial utopia. The show would rather make these periods more progressive than they really were instead of telling the stories of the POC living there or hell, show us history outside of 'the West'

It treats the dehumanisation of Black people as an inevitable part of future society. Fifteen has to be a perfect non violent victim of racism but can fridge the goblin king & the chuldur easy. Racism can/must exist but fighting back or having any reaction to ur oppressor can't.

The gag is RTD understands racial oppression when it affects *him* tho. The oppression of the Welsh is acknowledged in present day Earth bc it's a real part of history. Its addressed again in 2046 bc it's still relevent in the future. & did Ruby save Roger? No she got him gone!

It sanitises its own history. The Doctor has called out racial supremacy, human or not since day. And no they didn't always save *everyone*. Against the establishment to begging it & partying with it too apparently. Rosa has issues but at least it was hopeful...

It treats Fifteen as a white character made Black which has weird implications for a non human being from a "post racial" society. Thirteen wasn't a "human woman" but she still had the agency to call out every misogynist she met. Lawd forbid she cried over Jack Robertson 😭

Despite having a Black Doctor they're written for a white audience. 'It's not about Black people, its about white people' sealed the deal. It treats their Blackness as circumstantial & not something they'll have to deal with regardless of time period playing it safe & palatable

This 1 should be self explanatory. If Donna's seen the Doctor's mind then she knows Fugitive Doctor exists so yes the Doctor comes in a range of different colours 🤪🤪 And again if he's not a human Black man but an alien then why is it a surprise that he can change race? Ugh...

Isaac Newton wasn't that deep bc he's only there for the mavity gag but it opened a fuck ton of racism towards Nathaniel Curtis & antiblackness bc the racists camping the tag thought he was Black. 'Owning the right 🤪' at the expense of POC in the show & fandom. Great job there..

RTD made the point of the Toymaker being racist then keeps him anyway? Takes a jab about cultural appropriation in Pyramids of Mars then based the finale on it anyway w/ Sutekh? Not even entertaining the Black Guardian ting. Like what's the point of any of this? It feels so fake.

Carla's not as egregious as the previous but apart from RTD copying & posting her name from Clyde's mum in SJA, she doesn't get a lot to do outside supporting Ruby's storyline. S14 then ends with Ruby calling her bio mum her "real" mum so her serving role didn't mean much anyway

The Giggle was the 1st flag bc it conflated all political related anger as bad bc it's anger instead of love 😫✊🏻without *single* look at why the current political climate is the way that it is. Pandemic, genocides, climate change & govt corruption yh ppl will be angry Russell 🥴

Series 11 at least gets to gas itself up for having women write for the 1st female Doctor and having Black and South Asian writers for the first time in the show's history (which isn't a great achievement but ah well)

Series 14 doesn't have that to its credit.

Black woman who only exists to boost white characters stories, racism stories that don't give their Black characters full agency & 0 follow up of their experiences only this time w/ no Black writers. Same tings different font. What improvement was made exactly?

Tl;Dr - We have the 1st Black Doctor in the main lineup but this series handles race and racism poorly. There's barely any improvement from how race was handled in RTD1 and his handling of Black characters in Years & Years and It's a Sin hasn't been brought over. 🥴

[saixria]

Thanks for the tag!! Hmm silly lore tidbits

1. When I was younger my mom took me to a psychologist apparently because I was bad at social interaction and I ended up going to some counselor thing?? Weekly for a while and I don’t even remember what the actual goal was I just remember she’d show me videos, ask me “what does this character feel?” And ask me to emulate the facial expression of that emotion LMAOO (I rarely did it because I thought it was embarrassing)

2. I have a large scar on my left calf because of a mosquito bite I got as a child that swelled up a really large size (might be post inflammatory hyperpigmentation cuz some tiny mosquito bites I for a few months ago also left dark spots on my skin)

3. I took piano lessons for at least 6 years as a kid before I quit at 12/13 years old but I’m only officially ABRSM grade 2. I never took it seriously haha and especially during the later years I’d just chat with the teacher half the lesson and ask her about interesting medical cases (which she somehow knew about for some reason) partly out of genuine curiosity and partly to avoid playing the piano for as long as possible

4. I was a very late walker! My parents had to hold my hands on either side to keep me upright to walk into kindergarten interviews because I couldn’t actually walk properly myself lol

Tagging mutuals (we actually have a lot of the same mutuals 💀💀) (do it only if you wanna haha no pressure) @irunaki @milwkwyxd @lankanweirdo @honest-khmyh @sevensees7

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[jamesandanthony]

Tommy Week Masterlist!

(all bucktommy except day six which is bucktommy plus tommy/omc)

_____________________________

the slightest touch

Day one: masturbation | Words: 3,917 | Rated: E

Established Relationship | Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot | Masturbation | Sexting | Phone Sex | Dom/sub Undertones | Praise Kink

Home, he texts Evan as he heads for the kitchen and the leftover lasagne in the fridge. Miss you. After eating and showering, Tommy collapses into bed, bone weary and feeling a little sorry for himself without his boyfriend's bare chest to snuggle into. Almost as if Evan is listening to his thoughts, Tommy's phone dings with a message and he opens it to see a photo of him, shirtless and smirking into the mirror of the bathroom at the 118. Miss you too.

_____________________________

with or without you

Day two: acceptance | Words: 3,407 | Rated: G

POV Tommy Kinard | Post-Episode: s08e06 Confessions | Light Angst | Making Up

It's not the first time since they'd broken up that Tommy has driven to Evan's - Buck's - place after work instead of his own. This is, however, the first time he's halfway out of the car before he's realised where he is, and he turns back to his truck in a mild panic, hoping, praying, that he doesn't see anyone he knows before he can escape his stupid mistake. Apparently the universe has other ideas. "Tommy?"

_____________________________

more than fine

Day three: supernatural creatures | Words: 1,701 | Rated: G

POV Tommy Kinard | Established Relationship | Fluff and Humor | Tommy is a movie guy | and Buck definitely isn't

"So, what did you think?" Tommy asks, holding the door open for Evan as they leave the movie theater. "And you can be honest." He slides his hand into Evan's as they start along the sidewalk back to the loft, strolling leisurely as the sun sets across the city. "Can I, though?" Evan teases, bumping Tommy's shoulder with his own. "You're not going to dump me if I don't like another one of your favourite movies?"

_____________________________

heavy on me

Day four: dom/sub dynamics | Words: 4,128 | Rated: E

POV Tommy Kinard | Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot | Bottom Tommy Kinard | Dom/sub Undertones | Mild Praise Kink | Anal Fingering | Anal Sex | Evan gets his reward...

Once the dishes are put away, Evan turns to him, clearly trying not to be too pushy but with a hopeful look on his face nonetheless. Tommy steps into his space with a smirk, sliding his hands around his waist and pulling him close as he leans in to whisper in his ear. "Where do you want me, baby?" he breathes, feeling the shiver that his words send down Evan's spine.

_____________________________

long time coming

Day five: anxiety/PTSD | Words: 1,949 | Rated: G

POV Tommy Kinard | Past Child Abuse | Emotional Hurt/Comfort | With a fluffy ending

Your father's dead. His aunt's voice echoes in his head, churning up all sorts of feelings he doesn't know what to do with, and he sits, staring blankly at the phone in his hand. Wrapped his car around a streetlamp. Three sheets to the wind as always. "Hey babe," Evan calls from down the hall, voice becoming louder as he walks towards their bedroom, "did you say you're off next Thursday night-" Tommy feels more than sees his frown as he pushes the door open, pausing in the doorway as he catches sight of him. "Tommy?"

_____________________________

old flames, new fires

Day six: flashbacks/Tommy begins | Words: 3,127 | Rated: G

POV Tommy Kinard | Past Relationship | Soft Tommy Kinard | Flashbacks | Tommy bumps into an ex at trivia night...

The picture round arrives with the interval, and they're hunched around the sheet, arguing over a country outline that has them a little stumped when a figure approaches their table hesitantly. "Tom?" he says, and Tommy looks up in surprise. "Oh my god, Mateo?" he says, eyes wide as he stands to greet him. "Yeah," Mateo replies, grinning, and Tommy doesn't miss the way he looks him up and down appreciatively. "Man, how long has it been?"

_____________________________

sweet surprise

Day seven: unexpected events | Words: 3,151 | Rated: E

POV Tommy Kinard | Established Relationship | Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard | Fluff | Mild misunderstandings | Tommy Kinard is loved

"Thanks," Evan says, tipping the driver as Tommy climbs out of the car, looking around in confusion. "I thought we were going to Miceli's?" he asks, turning to Evan with a raised eyebrow. "Change of plan," Evan replies, snaking his hand into Tommy's and leading him inside the rowdy looking bar they've been dropped at, clearly trying to hide a smile.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

So how do you think Harry's kids got here? Do you think a surrogate was used? Do you think a donor egg and/or sperm was used?

I'm of the opinion a surrogate was used for both kids and that they might not be 100% their biological children. I know some people say Archie looks like August and Lili from her photo when she was one years old is supposed resemble the late Queen at that age. But people often see what they want when deciding who kids look like and kids can look like different people as their faces change.

You could go to any school in multiple countries and find a kid who looks just like Archie and we don't know what Lili looks like because whenever she's been "papped" the person apparently used the worse camera ever and their specially is blurry photos.

More importantly for me the question is why the BRF have played along is it just because they were afraid of being called racist if they said Archie isn't eligible to be in the line of succession? Do they not actually know whether a surrogate was used or do they simply not care?

For Harry and Meghan they should have been open about using a surrogate. They would have received so much support, there would be the conversation about whether people should use surrogates but the majority of the UK would've supported their decision to have a family. Funny thing is it would've made their kids special and got them the attention they wanted. Hiding all the details about the kids has resulted in no one caring about them or having any connection to them.

I would like the truth to be publicly known even it causes problems for the BRF. You won't generally find me defending members of the British aristocracy but if they have to adhere to the succession laws then so should members of the BRF.

I shared my thoughts on this several months ago (sometime between February - May 2024) but I haven't been able to dig that post up. I'll repeat what I said here but I will not be discussing this topic any futher after this gets posted.

What I said several months ago still remains true: Sometimes I think it was a gestational surrogate. Other times I think she really did carry Archie.

On the gestational surrogacy: Their story of Archie's birth, as told via Spare, gives me extraordinary pause because medically, none of what Harry says happened is/was possible. The lack of detail and/or sob story from Meghan also gives me pause. Consider the way she shouted from the mountaintops about her miscarriage in the New York Times. Now consider how silent she's been about her traumatic birth with Archie (according to Harry) or about how California's COVID protocols during her pregnancy with Lili may have affected her mental health. I specifically point out the latter because most of the women I know who were pregnant and/or gave birth between March 2020 - Summer 2021 talked a whole [fork] ton about the COVID protocols in place that made pregnancy an awfully lonely experience. Additionally, Meghan's desire for privacy on these experiences contradict her usual preference to compete with and/or one-up Kate. Since we know Kate had difficult pregnancies, we expect Meghan to either claim she had it worse (which Archie's traumatic birth as described by Harry in Spare definitely is, since KP's reports of the three Cambridge births were "textbook and uneventful") or her pregnancy was so easy, so straightforward, so textbook, so uneventful that she was literally a goddess of pregnancy. But yet Meghan has remained suspiciously silent, even when she's doing her "as the momest mom to ever mom" PR.

On the "Meghan really carried Archie" side: I have a cousin who's as thin as Meghan was pre-Archie, right down to the ankles that could snap. Like Meghan, my cousin's only weight gain during both of her pregnancies was in her belly/baby bump. So I know it's possible for some women to gain no weight but the baby bump. And second, Meghan did gain weight during her third trimester - she was noticeably fuller in her face at the Windsor presentation and had a noticeably fuller body at Trooping and Wimbledon and appeared to struggle losing the weight until spring 2022/Platinum Jubilee. We know that Meghan is incredibly vain to where she wouldn't have gained all that extra weight without good reason - after all, she made Trevor sign a pre-pregnancy contract listing her demands / requirements to get her body back should they have a baby.

Now to your questions:

is why the BRF have played along is it just because they were afraid of being called racist if they said Archie isn't eligible to be in the line of succession? Do they not actually know whether a surrogate was used or do they simply not care?

I've already covered this here. I think you can find it under the surrogacy tag. So I won't go into too much here.

My theory for why the BRF played along is because they didn't know there was a surrogate until it was too late and by then, they were already trapped in the scheme so they had no choice but to go along. Presenting their schemes as faint accompli has been Sussex MO for a very long time, with no one developing a spine until they demanded to commercialize the monarchy.

My theory for why the BRF continues to play along is because Charles is somehow involved and/or implicated and that truth coming out would lead to a scandalously huge lapse in confidence that could only be reconciled by his abdication to William. Charles has waited too long to be top dog to let anything get in his way and I suspect that we'll only find out the truth (or even a partial truth) if Clarence House finds a way to untangle Charles from it.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I won't be discussing this anymore and will not be posting any asks resulting from this. You're free to discuss in comments or reblogs, though.

[giggle-guru]

Preening

Word Count: 2548

A little Radioapple tickle fic I wrote a while back. It’s a tad rough, but I thought why not post it hehe. Enjoy!

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It was late one evening at the Hazbin Hotel, and Alastor could be found humming to himself, snuggled in the king bed within Lucifer's room. A small radio on the bedside table played some soothing, quiet jazz as he turned the page of his book. The lamp beside him provided a warm and cozy atmosphere, along with the presence of his darling Lucifer who shifted with his eyes closed beside him. This wouldn’t be of concern, had Alastor not noticed him moving around restlessly tonight.

He was clearly not yet asleep but was certainly attempting to. He glances away from his novel, his red eyes glowing softly in the dimmed bedroom lighting. Lucifer shifts for what feels like the thousandth time that night and grunts, muttering something incomprehensible before rolling onto his side to face Alastor once again. His brows are knitted together in slight distress, his expression matching one of discomfort. Alastor marks the page of his book and then sets it aside, giving the King of Hell his full attention. Though this was quite new to them and they were still figuring out this whole ‘dating’ complex, it was clear to Alasor that something was agitating him. He continues studying him for a moment longer before he reaches out with one hand to brush away the strands of hair that had fallen over his eyes. A fleeting touch that lingers for a brief moment, as if to offer a silent reassurance while also testing the waters. His touch is rather delicate, a contrast to his usual persona and facade. He speaks in a soft tone.

“Is something troubling you, Lucifer?”

Lucifer sighs in response, his expression still displaying signs of restlessness. At the touch on his head, however, his expression softens slightly. He opens his eyes to glance up at him, muttering quietly, “It’s nothing, Bambi.”

Now Alastor’s eyes narrow slightly, noticing how Lucifer leans into his touch, a small indication that perhaps it was welcome rather than intrusive. He tilts his head with an unreadable expression, “You are clearly restless. It’s obviously apparent you’re not comfortable right now.”

Lucifer locks eyes on his gaze, with a face flushing slightly. Unfortunately for him, it always feels like Alastor can see right through him. Yet, he knows he was not exactly being subtle about it. “It’s nothing you need to worry about. It’s just my wings.” He admits with a mumble.

Wings. Alastor hums in interest at Lucifer’s sudden revelation and the flush of his cheeks, though he doesn’t comment on it further. He glances towards Lucifer’s back, “Your wings,” he repeats. He tilts his head, observing the way Lucifer looks almost embarrassed. “Are they uncomfortable?”

The look Alastor gives him only makes Lucifer flush more. He shifts in the bed so he is now lying on his stomach, looking up at Alastor. “It’s molting season. That’s all.” He doesn’t elaborate further, though one of his wings twitches.

“Molting season?” Alastor repeats once again, a hint of amusement in his tone, “Lucifer, the King of Hell himself, is having trouble sleeping because of a molt? I find that quite charming.” He couldn’t help but find the thought of Lucifer being mildly inconvenienced by such a mundane circumstance rather entertaining, but he mainly kept that thought to himself.

Lucifer scoffs slightly. “Of course you do.” He can't help but have a wing twitch once again, his feathers clearly bothering him. He notes to himself that he really should have preened before he invited Alastor to spend the night with him, he was just excited.

Alastors amusement grows as Lucifer scoffs, his eyes gleaming with an urge to tease him. “Well, it’s just quite…simple. I didn’t exactly expect you to be fussing over your wings.” He reaches out, gently brushing away a couple of loose feathers that have fallen onto his shoulder from his constant twitches, “You should have said something earlier.”

Lucifer’s response was a simple huff and whine of, “I didn’t think they’d be this annoying.” It was true. He figured he would just preen tomorrow after Alastor leaves to do…whatever he does. He wasn’t expecting his wings to be so aggravating tonight.

Alastor’s amusement grows, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. “Ah, so you were caught off guard by the wrath of molting feathers despite having them for an eternity.” Taking into account his previous reaction to his gentle brush of his hair, he moves his hand to gently run his fingers through Lucifer’s feathers to try to remove and settle them to help his darling get comfortable. “You’ve got me here now. I happen to be fairly good at preening feathers.”

Though this was a simple act of comfort, Lucifer instantly tenses and flushes further. His wings twitch in response and he squirms slightly. “Sure you are,” he speaks in an attempt at sarcasm to mask his squirm.

Alastor has a keen eye, however, and a hint of concern appears on his features as he continues to tease the feathers straight. “Mhm. Indeed I am. Though I understand your disbelief.” But Lucifer continues squirming, his wings still twitching. “Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.” He continues the gentle preening motion, ensuring he is not tugging or scratching too rough, his eyes focused on Lucifer’s feathers with an occasional glance to gauge his reactions.

“I am relaxed!” Lucifer protests, but his voice is squeaky. He squirms more as time goes on as he buries his face into the pillow in order to hide a growing involuntary smile.

“Oh, I can see that,” Alastor says softly, his voice tinged with amusement as he continues to preen Lucifer's feathers gently. “Your squirming and hiding your face are all signs of utmost relaxation, after all.” His smirk grows wider as he watches Lucifer bury his face further into the pillow, causing him to chuckle. Lucifer is about to make another sarcastic comment, but as he does Alastor brushes against the top arch of one of his wings causing a giggle to escape instead. This causes Alastor’s eyes to flicker with interest.

“Oh?” He chuckles once more, repeating the motion, curious to see if it will elicit the same reaction, “So those wings are sensitive, I take it.” he teases. This teasing only further weakens the attempted defense Lucifer is trying to build, another giggle escaping as he tries to reach over and grasp one of his arms to pull them away from his wings. “No. They’re not. And quit it, I can preen them myself tomorrow.”

Alastor laughs now, a rare genuine sound from the usually composed Overlord. “Oh, come on! I was just having a bit of fun and trying to help you,” Alastor says with a playful tone. He avoids Lucifer’s attempts at stopping him and returns to the top of his wing. “Now sit still and let me preen you.”

Lucifer tries to protest but instead begins giggling. “Bambi!” he squeaks, instantly trying to roll away from him half-heartedly. Despite the ticklish sensation, he couldn’t deny that he was untangling some irritating feathers that had been bothering him earlier.

Alastor’s amusement reaches new heights as the protest dissolves into a burst of giggles, quite an adorable reaction in his opinion. In mere moments, he’s tossing covers aside to sit on the lower back of Lucier, careful to avoid sitting on his wings. “Are you telling me, you, Lucifer Morningstar, the almighty king…” he leans in closer, whispering into his ear. “Are ticklish?”

Lucifer lets out a strangled noise as Alastor moves in a flash to sit behind him, weakly attempting to throw him off. “What? No!”

Alastor leans to see that growing blush. His fingers quickly go back to preening his wings, though purposely moving in that same light fashion and focusing on particularly sensitive spots that seem to get Lucifer worked up. “You aren’t? That giggle of yours along with those fluttering wings say something on the contrary.”

Lucifer squirms and twitches, giggles falling uncontrollably from his lips. Alastors weight on his lower back proves to be a lot more difficult to escape from when he’s weakened by his own giggling. As Alastor moves to try to focus on those sensitive spots, his giggling grows louder and more unrestrained. “H-Hey! Okay! Al, don’t!”

Alastor continues his gentle yet relentless assault on Lucifer’s wings, not being able to resist as he watches Lucifer giggle and his wings flutter frantically. He removes some of those pesky loose feathers in the process. “But it’s so much fun just teasing you like this, Luci,” he mumbles into his ear, the nickname slipping out in the moment of chaos and amusement, “And besides, you really need me to properly preen your wings if you plan on getting any sleep tonight.”

The combination of Alastor’s fingers on his wings and the sudden use of the nickname ‘Luci’ sends him into another, louder giggling fit as his wings flutter faster. He squirms more violently, trying to escape the relentless assault, “Al, I’m- I’m serious!”

Alastor relishes in the moment, continuing to carefully preen Lucifer’s wings while causing a flurry of giggles to come from his mouth. He continues leaning in to whisper against his ear, “Sure you are. But you’re so fun to mess with, and I would be foolish to let this opportunity go to waste.” He hums and continues to preen his wings as he moves to the base of them, fingers dancing over them. “Come on, Lucifer, stop resisting so much. Let me finish this little preening session. It will all be over soon.” He teases.

Lucifer squeals at the contact when Alastor reaches the base of his wings, causing the loose feathers to fall and his back to arch. He’d be lying if he said this wasn’t helping relieve some of the irritation or that he hated this, but he’d never admit to either anyway. “Ah! Alastor, not there!”

Of course, that reaction piques Alastor's interest. He raises an eyebrow, a smirk still present on his face. “Not there, you say, hmm?” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing. His fingers dance along the base of his wings again, making sure to send a shiver up Lucifer’s spine. “Well, this appears to be a great help. Look at these feathers. I should charge you for my services.” he teases.

Lucifer can’t help but squeal once more, trying to protest but every word is cut off by another wave of uncontrollable giggling. “Please!” he manages to squeal out, his voice high and breathy as his body shakes. His laughter, the arching of his back, and the flutter of his wings are almost a symphony of reactions that Alastor finds satisfying.

“Please what? Please stop? But look at how much your wings are enjoying it, Luci! Admit it.” He teased, moving to another set of wings to continue his ticklish preening, now purposely nuzzling his nose to the back of his neck, causing Lucifer to giggle more if that was even possible. His wings begin fluttering at a rapid pace like a hummingbird’s trying to take flight. The combination of Alastor’s relentless teasing and the nickname leaves him more vulnerable than he would like to admit.

“I’m not enjoying this!” Lucifer insists through his laughter, but it is clearly a lie evident by the amount of giggles and lack of an actual escape attempt. They both know that if Lucifer really wanted this to end, he would have stopped him long ago. And Alastor was not going to waste any time pointing that out.

“Don’t even bother, darling. Why are you giggling like a schoolgirl then, hmm?” He asks in a teasing tone, “You’re not even trying to actually get me off. I think the great Lucifer might, in fact, be enjoying himself a little.” As if to prove a point, he moves to the final set of wings to preen them in a rapid manner, moving carefully but quickly around them to set them straight and untangle the feathers.

Lucifer’s response descends into hysterical laughter, the quick preening causing a stream of uncontrollable laughter to escape his lips. He attempts as weakly as before to push him away, but thanks to how half-hearted they are they don’t do much. “Okay! Okay!” He laughs, the words slightly broken by the laughter. “Yes, yes! I sort of like it! You happy?”

Alastor chuckles victoriously, his smile widening at his admission. He continues for a few minutes, relishing in his hysterical pleas and laughter. “See? Was that so hard to confess?” he finally speaks, in a still playful voice as he finishes preening Lucifer’s wings. He takes a moment to ensure they’re all in order. “There we go. All done.” The hands on Lucifer’s back move to his hips as he rolls and grasps Lucifer to switch their positions so his wings are comfortably on the bed. “I never knew you were so damn ticklish.”

Lucifer catches his breath, giggles slowing into breathless chuckles as his chest rises and falls rapidly. The shift in position causes a small shiver to ride up his spine. “I swear, if you tell anyone a word of this I’ll kill you, Bambi.”

“Oh, you’re threatening me now are you?” Alastor laughs, but there is no real menace present in his words. He moves a hand up to run his fingers through Lucifer’s hair, his touch soft and tender. He’s always soft around him apparently. A part of him, he’s learning, is something only Lucifer can see. “Rest assured, your little secret is safe with me. I have no intention of telling anyone you're an absolute mess when you’re tickled. Only I get to exploit that.”

Lucifer flushes, leaning subconsciously into his touch. “Shut up.” Is the only thing that slips from his lips, other than a soft yawn. He relaxes into the bed, his wings feeling much less irritated.

Alastor laughs, enjoying the sight of Lucifer practically putty beneath his fingers. “Did I wear you out, Your Majesty?” he hums, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before moving off of him, brushing the loose feathers off the bed to be dealt with tomorrow. He moves to turn off the lamp. “Judging by your relaxed demeanor is it safe to say you feel better now?”

Lucifer turns his head to look at Alastor, a small pout on his face at the continued teasing. “Yes, I feel better, smartass,” he mumbles. There is a slight pause before he adds in a whispered tone, “Thanks, Al.”

Alastor smiles, his gaze softening at the muttered response. He shifts closer to pull him against his chest, wrapping himself around him and putting his face against him. “It was my pleasure.” He speaks quietly, moving to instead rub gentle circles along his back to soothe his darling to sleep.

There is no protest from Lucifer this time, only a soft noise of approval as he closes his eyes and melts into the bed. “I’m getting you back for that.” he whispers, to which Alastor laughs softly and murmurs, “I’d like to see you try.” Before finally getting him to sleep. It doesn’t take long for Alastor to follow suit either, knowing that the next morning he would likely have a little fireball to deal with. Not that he’d complain, it was his darling after all.

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Hopefully you all enjoyed it! It’s definitely not my best work but it’ll suffice for now hehe.

[thewadapan]

I do recommend people take this test, it's a riot.

But like, it's not a study. (The site linked above appears to be yet another waste-of-space Amazon-affiliate-advertising content aggregator grift, which talks a big game about Creative Commons but why would I want to repurpose any of this material in the first place? The only original content I can see here is obviously-AI-generated thumbnails for the art, which look like dogshit. The original results post for the test is a much better read.)

The way the test is designed is like this. Images were roughly balanced by art style: so of all the digital-art pieces, 50% are human, 50% are AI, same for the renaissance paintings, same for the impressionist stuff, same for abstract. Except, obviously, the human pictures have been selected to exhibit stereotypical signs of AI-ness: overdetail, odd scaling, incorrect proportions, random meaningless shapes, illegible text. Meanwhile, the AI stuff has been filtered to avoid anything that had obvious tells to a layman's eye, like fucked-up hands or whatever.

So it's basically a game of like... whatever your gut instinct tells you the image's provenance is, it's probably the opposite.

When you filter out the human works, and look at the provenance of solely the AI pictures (as given in the results post), that's when you find out what this test is actually indicative of. The pieces were mostly generated by two ACX readers, Ryan Wise and Jack Galler. I remember spotting every single one of Ryan's images, without fail. Meanwhile, nearly all of Jack's images fooled me. (There were also a handful of other AI images taken from social media or whatever, which again, I easily pegged as being AI-generated, they're pure slop.)

I'll actually go so far as to say that it's pretty embarrassing for Ryan that he thought these images were good enough to share. Wall-eyed figures whose clothes blend into flesh, abstract shapes with eerily-lifelike inhuman faces leering out of the picture, inconsistent details... but most of all, a sense that the prompts themselves were bereft of any creativity. "robot skeleton abstract painting", "woman in field impressionist". Come on man. AI is the ultimate tool for ideas-guys, and yet here you are without a single idea to show for yourself.

Ryan was apparently using StableDiffusion. Meanwhile, here's Jack talking about his process:

I just used Midjourney. Most of the prompts were just describing some generic impressionist scene. I've never had an art history class (but I am an art history fan!), so I worked with ChatGPT to identify key trends of say, Impressionism, so I could prompt better. I generated a lot of each one ,and just used my subjective opinion to decide what looked good and what didn't. The Paris Scene (which fooled the most people) had this prompt: "Impressionist painting of a bustling Parisian street under the soft rain, 1881" The Riverside Cafe (which people liked the most) had this prompt: "Impressionist painting of a countryside café terrace during twilight, 1883"

It seems that specifying a year in particular was what helped Midjourney hone in on these historical styles in a convincing way. Jack's method obviously involved a huge amount of cherry-picking—which I would argue is another huge element of human intervention, if only in a sense of curation. A version of this test I would like to see would be one where both different AI models and a range of talented artists were given the same prompt. What if it was one-shot, with just a single generation, no cherry-picking? Except of course an AI can generate thousands of paintings in the time it takes a human to do just one, so what would that even prove?

This test reminded me of a piece I saw on deviantART a long time ago, of this ruined fantasy castle in a cave. Pretty cool! But then you look at it a bit longer, and it's like- hang on, why is that human skull the size of the collapsed turret lying next to it? It's exactly the kind of nonsensical composition you see in AI, except no, it's just a digital artist using photoshop and they fucked it. I kind of feel like this is where the state-of-the-art of AI image generation is right now; about as good as a guy bashing together stock assets in photoshop, which is to say maybe good enough to get an idea across, even if it can't actually stand on its own two legs as a piece of art.

So yeah, from a cynical perspective, I'd find it hard to argue that Jack's generations aren't "good enough" for many applications. I don't know that I'd hang any of them in a gallery. The longer I look at them, the less I like them. But they've got the right vibes.

So a more accurate headline for that BOING BOING article might be, "AI art haters unknowingly prefer AI-generated works by Jack Galler, according to test".

If there's one thing I'll be taking away from this post, that's helped me better understand my own feelings on AI art, it's this analogy from digital artist Ilzo, quoted in the results analysis:

Imagine if everyone got the ability to create mostly nutritional adequate meals for like five cents, but they all were mediocre rehydrated powder with way too much sucralose or artificial grape flavor or such. And your friends start inviting you over to dinner parties way more often because it's so easy to deal with food now, but practically every time, they serve you sucralose protein shake. (Maybe they do so because they were used to almost never eating food? This isn't a perfect analogy.) Furthermore, imagine people calling this the future of food and saying chefs are obsolete. You'd probably be like "wow, I'm happy that you have easy access to food you enjoy, and it is convenient for me to use sometimes, but this is kind of driving me crazy".

Last month, over 11,000 people took Astral Codex Ten's survey to see if they could they tell the difference between 50 human-made art and AI-generated images. The results were humbling for humans, especially ones who professed a loathing for AI art.

Most participants stumbled through the test, scoring just 60% — barely better than flipping a coin. What tripped them up? Our preconceptions about art styles, it turns out, are deeply ingrained. When people saw classic Impressionist paintings, they confidently declared them human-made (and were often wrong). When they encountered digital art, they quickly labeled it as AI (and were frequently mistaken).

Perhaps the most ironic finding was about people who claimed to despise AI art. When these AI critics picked their favorite pieces without knowing their origin, they consistently chose AI-generated works. Even among those who rated their hatred of AI art at maximum levels, their top two favorite pieces were created by machines.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Guilliman's Soup

"Look, I'm not going to harm any of you, not unless it involves stuffing Guilliman in a room without his....." Fulgrim trails off, the demon prince's lower half coiling in discomfort as he stares at the abomination that bubbled within the pot. It smelled distinctly of both Mjød and cigarettes, appearing as something that Fulgrim was uncertain if even a Nurgling would eat. He certainly wouldn't. Actually he doesn't think any Slaaneshi demon is depraved enough to even attempt to make such a thing. He shakes his head. "Will I be allowed to help?" Calgar, who was certainly not at all expecting to see the demon prince of excess himself at the entrance to the Imperial palace, couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand it meant that his primarch wasn't affected by any chaos god, if even Slaanesh was getting involved; on the other, did he really want to accept the help of a demon prince? Especially one that is well.... Calgar sighs deeply, "Fine, you might actually be a good deterrent to Dante anyway. He's been a pain in the ass" "Who is-" Fulgrim doesn't get to finish his sentence as a very old marine of what appears to be of the blood angel's chapter is shooed away by a serf with a broom, wacking the marine's shins with it as he hisses like an angry goose. Fulgrim has his answer on who Dante is but is now even further confused, "I thought Blood Angels were supposed to be noble?" "I'm hoping the soup will kill me" Dante helpfully responds which has the demon prince blinking in utter shock, because what the fuck happened to Sanguinius' sons!? Another Ultramarine, this one apparently named Cato is crawling on his hands and knees out of the room where Dante came from, coughing and generally being a rather sad sight with the stench of both vomit and the abominable liquid upon his breath. Slaanesh, who just briefly decided to turn her head towards whatever the fuck her demon prince was doing, vomits and mutters 'I can't believe none of this was Nurgle's idea; he actually wants the fucking recipe!'. Needless to say, Fulgrim doesn't really want to know what's exactly in that pot. Instead he dryly says "I'm amazed this hasn't summoned anything other then myself..." Calgor sighs "No, it has, there's the Sanguinor, and it's currently being kept back by some Sister of Silence out of fear that it's going to beat Dante to death with a sandle. Personally I'm not fond of trying to explain to the blood angels that we didn't kill their chapter master; it was the soul of Sanguinius, himself, that ended his life. I can't see that going too well...And Cato, please stop eating father's soup." "But-" "No buts or I'm throwing you into the same room as the Sanguinor" That stopped any more protests out of Cato who shuddered at the very idea of confronting the very angry warp spirit that was half of mind to possess someone.

The sound of what Fulgrim could still recognize after all these years as a very angry Leman Russ can be heard in the distance yelling "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO WITH MY FUCKING MJOD, ROBOUTE!?" This was going to be a long and terrible process, Fulgrim just knows it. ____ This short story was inspired by a convo between myself and @moociaoafterdark on this post.

[fuji-sen]

Is it possible for you to do a Xiao and female Dendro yaksha reader?

Reader was alive during the Archon War and originally served another God, a cruel abusive one who was killed during the war. Having no where to go, she simply traveled across Teyvat visiting different nations trying to find an quiet and isolated place to call home. She avoided humans due to unfortunate encounters with them in the past. (Mostly being mistreated and attacked by them)

During the Cataclysm, she had to fend for herself since she wasn't a part of any nation nor have any allies and she refused to serve another God. She was gravely injured forcing her to hide underground and fell into a deep slumber to start recovering.

Now to the current time, an unusual amount of flora has been growing around certain areas in Wuwang Hill. Xiao is sent to investigate with the Traveler (and Paimon). They find a hidden tunnel that leads to underground with massive amounts of flora growing inside.

From there they find a large beautiful closed flower bud with something hidden inside. Without hesitation, Xiao slices it open and they instantly spot our sleeping Dendro Yaksha, who slowly awakens due the process of recovery being interrupted.

Her first meeting with Xiao is silent as they just observed each other but then gets triggered into a violent reaction after seeing the Traveler.

As for how this meeting ends is up to you. I'm sorry if this is too long and complicated.😅 I wanted to give a bit of backstory about reader 😣 I got the first meeting idea after watching How to Train Your Dragon; Hidden World, with Toothless and the Light Fury.

Journey of a Yaksha; Queen of the Night!

Queen of the Night! Is a flower that blooms once a year!

[ prev. part ] [ masterlist ] [ next part ]

dividers by @enchanthings

content warning: they/them traveler (I won't be using lumine or aether specifically, you can imagine who between the two you want to be part of the story), Female reader, post war trauma in the last part.

timeline is before Sumeru update/or middle of Sumeru before the conclusion in regards to Eleazar! anything else is just random like banners.

Reader is a yaksha, meaning she is also an adepti/adeptus. (I just learned it today, apparently yakshas are under the umbrella term of Adepti or smth), more on it at the bottom of the page! ( ^ ^ ) <3

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆

"Finally another quest" the traveler muttered to themselves after looking at their wallets, noticing the sad reality that they were broke! 'Just when Albedo's banner is coming back' putting their wallet back in their inventory, the golden haired traveler turned to paimon and, surprise surprise! Xiao! Resident Yaksha of Wangshu inn!

"It's been awhile since we went on a mission together." They offered to the silent golden haired man. "It has." he nodded in response as Paimon commented, "Xiao is still the same as ever." she wondered if it would kill the demon slayer to talk for more than 5 words!

"To be honest I thought we wouldn't see each other about a quest." The traveler sighed.

In actuality, the traveler had received a mission to investigate the source of minor tremors and sometimes earthquakes that seemed to have been caused from somewhere in Wuwang hills. On their way their, crossing Wangshu Inn they bumped into Xiao who was also heading there.

It didn't take long for the group to realize that Aether's quest concerned Xiao's who had gotten reports about strange adepti energy coming from Wuwang hills, it was at the request of Sky Retainer that he checked it out as the others were busy with the preparations of the upcoming Lantern Rite festival.

"If it's just adepti energy, it's probably one of the other adeptus like that Moon craver!" Paimon floated between the two duo.

Xiao sighed, correcting her "Moon Carver."

"Right, right, Moon Carver."

The young looking adeptus then explained "Adepti energy has a certain signature to it." "Then I'm guessing since you were sent to investigate it, it wasn't a familiar signature?" The traveler asked as he nodded in response.

"Do you think it's an enemy? or maybe one of your old friends. . Like Bosacius."

He shook his head, "Although before we weren't sure about Bosacius, but I'm sure about the others." considering he buried their bodies, Bosacius was the only one who was MIA, no body found in every surface of the region, it was a shock when he found out his friend had died underground.

The traveler and their emergency food remained silent, a thick and awkward tension surrounding them for the majority of their travels to Wuwang hills.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆

If it was even possible, Wuwang Hill seemed more eerie than the last time they had came to the area. The mist was thicker than usual, and the golden light from the lanterns seemed to only add to the off atmosphere.

Something was different however, it was how the ground seemed dried and lacking of nutrients, as if it had been leeched off. "This reminds me of something. . but what?" The traveler frowned as they looked around.

They crouched down by some plants, staring long and hard, they gasped as they began to wither.

"Look out!" Paimon yelled as the traveler turned to find a rifthound ready to strike them!

"Hmph!" Xiao was quick enough exterminate the beast with his elemental skill. "Thanks Xiao!" the traveler gratefully said as they gave him a thumbs up.

"What are rifthounds doing in Liyue? They're usually at Inazuma or near Wolvendom. ." Paimon frowned, a hand stroking her chin.

"No, not just there, we can find them in sumeru too. . near withering zones." The traveler equipped their weapon, a serious expression on their face as Xiao asked them to explain.

"it's a type of illness in Sumeru, it basically kills off the plants and the area, sometimes, it affects people too in the form of a disease." The blond explained, Paimon gasped "that's right! Eleazar disease! This is pretty bad, what is a withering zone doing all the way out here in Liyue??"

Activating their elemental sights, the traveler looked around, "it's probably related with the earthquakes around here. . not sure if it has something to do with an Adepti though."

"It'll have to wait, how do we dispel withering zones?" Xiao's polearm had a dangerous glint to it, which matched his sharp eyes. "We'll have to find the withering branches and destroy them with dendrograna but. ."

there were none, at least, none based on their elemental sight.

"I can see a trace though, lets follow it."

Following the trace of elements, withering and dendro, as well as apparently it had the trace of adepti energy according to Xiao. . they found themselves at the entrance of a cave that was situated at the side of Wuwang Hill, "this wasn't here before." the traveler frowned, they were dead sure of it considering they spent a lot of time around liyue to get all the primogems they could.

"It looks natural, maybe it opened up due to the earthquakes." Xiao said, placing a hand on the rocky surface. The entrance of the cave looked like it was formed due to an earthquake, it was shaped like a crack and was big enough for people to pass through thankfully.

"Lets go."

The entrance was empty, there were a few bugs and shrubs but as they got deeper and deeper,, more underground, the path became filled with flowers and fauna. It was lit up with glowing plants that seemed the same like the ones you found in the forest near the Kamisato Estate back in Inazuma, vines and moss covered the walls and ground, hanging flowers bloomed above them.

It was a beautiful sight, one that made them relax and let their guards down as they continued their exploration.

They could hear the sound of running water, an underwater river or water source perhaps?

Their questions were answered as they found the other end of the path, it led to a large cavern, there was a hole above letting the moonlight and water from a river pour in.

Beneath the hole was a small patch of land surrounded by water, there a large white bud sat at the center.

"This looks like a scene from a fairytale! or at least, something you'd seen in the Aranara village" paimon commented which the traveler couldn't help but agree.

Numerous crystalflies and butterflies flew about, leaving when they got close to them. Circling around the cavern they find no trace of a person being here, so they turned their attention to the ginormous flower bud.

"You think this could be causing all the tremors?" The traveler turned to Xiao who was silently observing the plant. "But it's a plant- I thought they were the ones stopping earthquakes and landslides?" Paimon frowned at their travelling partner, "Well, unless it's a evil magic plant!" they argued defensively.

"It doesn't even look like a regisvine!"

The duo began to argue as Xiao began to walk towards the bud, it did not bother him when the water seeped into his shoes, or even if it was cold.

Something felt familiar about the flower, the energy it exuded. . yes, it was adeptal energy. But something tainted it, something sinister, something rotten.

As he approached it, various vines grew at the bottom of the white bud, it swirled threateningly at him making him stop in his place.

He could hear the traveler unsheathe their weapon, Xiao frowned. "Let me handle this."

The traveler hesitated but they relaxed their posture "fine, but I'll attack it if it attacks you."

"I can handle myself perfectly fine."

Golden eyes careful observed the bud at a much closer angle, from afar it looked beautiful, but being near it, he could see the tips of the petals were wilting an ugly black color, then it faded to brown, then white and green when it neared the stem of the bud.

"It's dying." he stated as he approached, one hand began to glow with power as he began to harness his adeptal energy. "I'll try to give it some energy." he told the others.

"What? what if saving that flower is a bad thing?"

"Then we'll kill it."

'That's easier said than done!' Paimon and the outlander thought! Of course Xiao wouldn't be too worried, he's very strong, but they'd rather avoid any more uneccessary battles!

The vines swooped down, entangling one of xiao's wrist and pulling him close to the bud sensing the delicious energy he harnessed. Which made his job easier as he began feeding energy into the flower.

He watched as the erosion seemed to disappear as the flower became much more lush and vibrant. Soon the petals began to open, blooming under the full moon. The vines of the bud let him go, as if satisfied with the energy he had given it.

Stepping back he watched as the flower bloomed into its full glory, a light coming from its center.

"Oh my god!" Paimon screamed in fear as a hand popped out of the center, it nearly gave her a heart attack! It was almost like a scene from a horror play without any blood!

Then another arm popped up, stretched as it tried grabbing the petals for support, nearly tearing them off from the flower. Xiao approached, he didn't know why he began to act careless and without much thought, but he found himself grabbing the hands gently and pulling the person or whoever it was up.

Sharp golden eyes meet with sleepy [ eye color ] eyes, which quickly widened in shock. The person with [ color ] hair took back their hands, jumping back in a cautious manner resembling that of a wary stray cat.

Her stance was tensed, cautious and untrusting as her eyes became clear, finally fully awake as she observed the man before her, an adeptus no doubt, she could feel the energy in his body, similar to that of her own.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆

You felt tired, sleepy as you woke up from a long sleep, the first thing you saw upon waking up was the brilliant moon that shone down up you, bathing you in its gentle light. Your stretched your arms up high, hands grabbing at the moon as you relaxed, you were relieved to find your body no longer rotting, turning stiff from the withering.

Still you could feel it in your body, you were still sick.

So quickly you tried to get up, trying to use the petals as leverage but alas the petals were to delicate, they began to tear as you tried to hoist yourself up.

You froze as a pair of hands grabbed your own, easily pulling you up. Then there it was, the first person you saw upon waking up.

A man with a mop of dark hair and small patches of teal that reminds you of a particular grass you had once slept in during your travels, golden eyes that swirled like nectar and honey stared back into your own, with pupils like that of an avian.

You instantly jumped back, feeling goosebumps from his touch.

An adeptus was in front of you, but who were they serving? Was it a rogue one? or one loyal to Morax? His energy was as strong as yours, albeit more refined.

"Who" you coughed, feeling your throat dry as the desert, still you persisted, raising your guard up around the man "who are you?"

You two observed each other, one pair of eyes filled with distrust, the other filled with awe and shock.

He observed you, your hair long and untamed due to the long sleep, the smell of flowers radiating off you and the specks of pollen that clung to your skin.

Another adeptus, a Yaksha no doubt as well.

He was speechless beyond words, all he could do was stare as he began to process this shocking revelation. There was another Yaksha, he wasn't entirely alone.

"Who are you?" you asked again before going into a horrible case of the coughs, you crouched down, hand covering your mouth as he stepped closer, your eyes glared at him, warning him not to approach so he raised his hands, showing he was unarmed before going to grab his water jug that was attached to him and threw it to you.

You caught it with ease, opening it before taking a tentative sniff. Deciding it was safe you began to drink. The ache in your throat disappeared as you felt your lips no longer dry or crack with a slight lick from your lips.

"Thank you.." you hesitantly said.

Standing up again you tilted your head at the man who was still speechless, then you heard a crack, a branch had been broken, being stepped on by another person. It wasn't just the two of you.

You turned to the source of the sound, finding not only a flying fairy, but also a blond haired weapon wielding person. The metal weapon was the only thing you could focus on, and suddenly it felt like you were back in the war. Your breath hitched.

Sensing your worries, your apprehension, and the fact that you had been set off, Xiao made the mistake of trying to approach you, to calm you down, immediately you equipped your weapon.

Fuck.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆

Xiao and the traveler, along with paimon, were huddled up around a fire as they began healing eating some sweet madames. Having been set off, you violently attacked them before making your escape.

It was Xiao who suggested not to follow you quickly less they make you even more enraged or afraid of them. The moon had long since passed the hole, it was no longer at its full height so the cavern was dark except for the few crystalflies and fireflies that stuck around as well as their small campfire.

"She was so strong!" Paimon gushed, ignoring the traveler who gave her a stink eye. "So she's an adeptus huh?" the traveler sighed, turning to Xiao who nodded. "A yaksha too?"

"It seems so. I should inform the others about this, but someone should track her down..."

Reading Xiao's inner plights the traveler sighed before offering "I can tell the other adepti about her and you can track her down, I'm pretty sure you're excited about the possibility of another Yaksha friend right?"

"Thank you."

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🍃✧˚.💚⋆

It is in Mondstadt did you learn that you can also fight for something other than Power, you can do so to obtain freedom, to protect others.

It is in Inazuma did you learn that there are things you can learn outside of war, that even learning what a friend likes or dislikes was just as important as learning how to defend yourself.

It was in Sumeru where you were able to remember the beauty of nature and life, how it makes you want to protect in from war and illness.

It was in Liyue where your life started. it was in the nation of contracts were you were enslaved, it was the nation of geo where you made the important choice to heal.

but what about now? What will you learn now upon returning to Liyue who had faced numerous changes? What will the people here teach you next?

I didn't know how to smoothly transition this into you and Xiao meeting again and becoming friends, so there will be another chapter!

full blooded adepti are able to shift into a human form like Madame Ping and apparently Xiao, I haven't decided if Reader is a full blooded one, if ever, what do you think would be her animal/beast form?

a reader from the previous part commented about her/reader being a fawn and I absolutely adored that idea!