#This will not happen

[edsbacktattoo]

i know that we’re probably not going to get a stormy, windswept and grim reunion for Ed and Stede because this show is a comedy above everything else, but i also think there’s potential to be very funny about it.

like i’m picturing a water-logged Ed and Stede facing each other down on the deck of the revenge. there’s cannon fire and the crash of waves and the crew are in mortal danger but none of it really matters or makes any noise at all cause these two idiots are looking at each other. and the kohl on ed’s face is running in the rain and stede’s shirt is soaked through to show his tits like he’s in some kind of contest.

and maybe Stede’s tried to talk to him before and he hasn’t gotten through to him. maybe he keeps coming up short and saying the wrong thing. maybe this time he just decides to bite the bullet and say the words so he tries to call out over the wind, “i love you!”

but there’s a clap of thunder that just obscures it completely so it looks like he’s just opened his mouth and closed it again. and Ed calls back “what did you say?!”

so Stede tries again. “I LOVE YOU ED!!” but there’s another rude clap from the sky and nothing makes it through so he’s like “oh, come ON” while Ed is just standing with a sword in his hand on the other side of the deck with eyeliner running down his cheeks like 🧍‍♂️”HUH?! WHAT?! DID YOU SAY SOMETHING??”

so stede takes some steps forward and tries again. more thunder. again. more thunder. until he gets so frustrated that he just tosses his sword away and shouts as loud as he can “I LOVE YOU EDWARD TEACH SAY IT BACK”

and then it’s like. sunny. and quiet. and everyone including Ed is standing and looking at Stede like 👁️👄👁️ and Frenchie is instantly convinced that Stede can control the weather and that he’s a magician.

and then it’s sunshine and rainbows and they make out sloppy and it’s a happy ending for everyone involved :)

[heretherebedork]

I want Chopper to rush across the warehouse in front of Palm and Nueng and jerk with the force of the bullet from his father's gun and fall to the floor with the sound of him landing echoing in silence.

I want Kit to watch his son fall and realize that he has fucked up, that he's done the one thing he doesn't know how to come back from and stare at the still figure of the boy who refused to shoot him and know he can't come back.

I want Nueng to stare at him until Palm turns his head away and I want him to weep because his cousin, his friend, who never betrayed him and was always on his side has finally found the one way he could prove it, the one way he could stop all the doubts.

I want Palm to hold Nueng tightly and not dare to reach out because the last time he reached out for someone protecting him it was his mother and she was dead and Chopper can't be dead, can he, there can't be another person who died trying to protect their love instead of him.

I want Nueng to the first one to finally touch Chopper, to realize that he's still alive even as Kit stares and Palm turns away and Nueng starts giving orders, starts telling them what to do because no one else is dying for him.

I want Ben in the hospital with them, a thousand yard stare at the operating room doors, wondering if Chopper would have made the same choice if he'd listened to his worries, if he'd given him a chance, if he'd believed him.

And I want Chopper, alive in the end, alive and knowing he is loved and worthy of that love, knowing that he did not have to stoop to his father's level to stop him, knowing that he protected the people he loved without having to kill for their sake, alive and hurt and aching but loved.

[stringbeanbones]

i hope the pokemon presents is NOTHING. i hope they dont do anything except maybe some virtual console stuff (and MAYBE an outsourced remake) for like 3 years. i NEED them to cook

[2leggedshark]

Also because kris is normal again (???I guess) can she go say sorry to willow and be gay again

[dutifulsilence]

« I've got to stop kissing hot guys. »

[lindwur-fr]

I know realistically it's gonna be the Arcane Ancient. But imagine the Dark Horse of "Arcane Modern Breed" just dumped on us

[crazyworkswell]

I personally think that the even more secret and even eviler sister reveal is funny, but what I find even funnier is the idea that Curtain is just Straight Up Lying

Like, the idea that this man went off on his Redemption Roadtrip™, got annoyed at how much effort being good took and relapsed into just a little bit of villainy as a treat but Uh Oh it spiraled too far (again) and Curtain now needs help but he is Not about to fess up to failing at the whole being good thing so quickly

And his best attempt at covering up his involvement while ensuring his brother helps is a three stage, fifteen step process, the Very First step of which is:

Convince Nicholas we have another sibling who is very mean and blame everything on her.

[brbgensokyo]

born skippy is gonna be the name of my hardcore australian tune remix album

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[modernchemical]

watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i dont think anyones ever thought of that before

[grntaire]

HELLLLLL YEAH!!!!!!!

[cunning-and-cool]

idk man but something about Stanley "taught himself extremely advance physics/math/probably many other things while running a relatively successful business" Pines and Stanford "is wanted in almost every dimension with a judicial system of some kind" Pines is sooo fucking funny to me

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[sadclowncentral]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[phosphorus-noodles]

Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from jumpscares/screamers/etc from you on April 1st but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen