#This wasn't meant to turn into a vent post but I guess it is now I'm so sorry

[thorntopieces]

I need to finish writing the Genesis bpd episode fic I've been working on on-and-off every time I'm in my own episode

[tinydefector]

Hi i don't know if you are taking requests for bayverse but if you do can i get bayverse Ironhide x female reader, fluff and smut. Good luck of you do❤️

Minx

Warning: Smut, Oral fem receiving.

Word count: 2k

(Bayverse) Ironhide x Fem Human reader

Before I start, I'm not very good with writing Bayverse bots, so I hope this came out alright.

Also, I hope I did the reader well, I dont really write fem reader.

Request and ask open, read pinned post

Masterlist

Ironhide Masterlist

---------

She's using his revision mirror again to touch up her lipstick. It wouldn't bother Ironhide as much if it wasn't for the fact she was flaunting herself at him while they were driving. 

Ironhide let out an exasperated vent. On the surface he tried to remain stoic, but inside circuits were frayed from the incessant primping and preening whenever she had the chance to ride in his cab. 

"Must you always fuss so much?" he grumbled, unable to keep the irritation from his voice. "I am driving, in case you've forgotten. And I suspect your antics are meant more for distracting me than seeing to your own looks."

She had been batting her lashes and smiling his way ever since they departed their last stop, and his patience for such frivolities was running low. so for now he strove to ignore the human's attempts at getting a rise out of him, less he ran them off the road.

His engine rumbled in a weary sigh. "Focus on the task at hand, little one. We'll be back at base soon enough."

She shoots him a smile in his mirror again. "And here I thought you enjoyed my company, getting sick of me already Hide?" She teases him.

Ironhide's engine responded with a grumble that was half irritation, half amusement. As trying as his Minx could be at times, he had to admit her bold spirit was refreshing and she did keep him on his toes.

"In small doses only, little witch," he retorted, though without any real bite to his words. "Your antics might be tolerable in brief stretches, keep your optics on the road, less we get ambushed by Decepticons" 

Still, there was a certain grudging fondness in the way his voice. For all her mischief, the human's fearless nature was what had drawn him to her, she wasn't military but a chance encounter had him on the run with her from Decepticon fire.

 In her own tiny way, she helped ease some of the weariness that had built up over countless vorns of endless conflict. Her voice he could listen to for aeons. 

Part of Ironhide didn't truly mind the company...so long as she minded her manners while in his cab, and kept her hands to herself while they drove.

"Fine guess I'll have to show off for someone else back on base" she states. He knows she's trying to get under his plating, and she knows how to get him. 

His engine rumbled warningly at that comment. While he knew she was just prodding him to get a reaction, the suggestion of flirting with another stirred a possessiveness in his circuits. 

"Watch it, fleshie," he growled, though without any real heat to the words. 

"Keep carrying on so and I may be inclined to park your backside right here until we're done," he blustered. But his warming cab and rumbling engine betrayed that any real ire was short-lived where she was concerned. Still, it wouldn't do to let her think she'd won so easily. 

Soft laughter falls from her lips, " jealous bot" she shoots back at him as the two finally arrive back at base. 

She gets chatty with security At the entrance to N.E.S.T 

Ironhide's engine uttered another warning grumble as she chatted away with the other humans, seemingly having forgotten her promise to mind her manners. His patience was wearing thin after the long drive, and he'd had just about enough of her frivolous games.

Pulling up as close to the hangar doors as his alt mode would allow, he popped open the driver side door with a pointed snap. "Out. Now," he rumbled, unwilling to play chauffeur any longer while she was in her mood to cause chaos.  

When she turned back with that coquettish smirk, Ironhide growled deep in his intakes. "Don't test me, fleshie. You've had your fun, now get inside like I said. Unless you'd rather I carry you in?" 

He knew full well manhandling the human would be crossing a line. But she had a way of pushing all his buttons without fail. 

She slowly moves to get out of his front seat. Her hands linger on the dashboard for a moment before she steps out onto the concrete. She's quick to walk inside after giving his tailgate a slap, a small laugh leaves her as she runs. 

With a grumble and hiss of hydraulics, Ironhide transformed once she had cleared his cab, looming over the hangar entrance. Ironhide let out an annoyed huff of exhaust as the girl once more tested his patience, That sharp little slap to his tailgate was the final straw.

Revving his engine menacingly, Ironhide rumbled forward until his massive bulk filled the hangar entrance, blocking any hope of escape back out the entrance. "Minx," he accused, optics narrowing at the smiling human within. "Do you enjoy pushing me this far every time?"

Despite his gruff tone, there was no true anger. After all this time, she knew full well how to get under his plating without ever crossing a line. And loathe as he was to admit, some small part of Ironhide even admired her spirit. 

Still, there were consequences to be had for such teasing. Leaning in until he is eye level with her "Consider this your official timeout, fleshling. Until I deem you've learned your lesson, you'll remain right where I put you."

With that, he sealed the hangar shut with a steely grinding of gears.  "Iron!" She squeals out only to gasp more as Ironhide grabs her before continuing further into his hanger, his human in hand. Her legs dangle between his digits as she holds onto him. "Oh my God you're an ass! Give me a warning next time" She shoots back at him

Ironhide huffed a gruff chuckle at the human's outburst. "And miss that precious little squeal? Not a chance, fleshie." 

"You know full well your games grate on my circuits, princess," he rumbled lightly. "A little fear is good for the spark. Keeps you on your toes and out of trouble." Not that he would ever hurt her. 

Once she was steady on her pedes again standing on their shared berth, more so crudely made slab with piles of her blankets and pillows on it "Consider that payback for your mischief, little pest. Next time, mind your hands and that smart mouth, lest I find a use for them." His field pulsed warm with amusement. 

 Soft little noises leave her as Ironhide's digits wrap around her pressing gently into her side, back and against her chest. 

Ironhide vented softly as his powerful digits carefully cradled the human's tiny frame. For all their teasing and bickering, in quiet moments like this he was reminded of just how fragile organics were. 

His field pulsed warm and gentle, laced with protectiveness as he gradually increased the pressure, testing her limits but taking care not to crush even an ounce of strength. "Comfortable, little one?" he rumbled softly. 

When she offered no protest, Ironhide began slowly massaging her back struts, mimicking the way she sometimes soothed his aching finger joints. Though his plating was rough-hewn metal and her skin oh so delicate.

A rumble rose from his frame, vibrating through her in a sensation she called a "purr." His optics were lidded in contentment, focusing only on her within his grasp. 

She slowly leans back into his touch. And as his digits travel further down she arches into his touch a small whine falls from her lips. She slowly grinds against Ironhide teasing digit. trying to make him get the picture of what she wanted and why she had been teasing him all day. 

Ironhide's engine revved sharply in surprise at the reaction his gentle touch elicited. His optics shuttered briefly.  "Minx," he scolded gently. "All this torment was for my attention, then?"

Lowering his face close, he nuzzled her tiny form with care before capturing her lips in a chaste kiss, its slow and soft, flesh against metal. Another whine leaves her lips as she looks up at him. "You've been too busy recently, I missed you" she states as he lays her down against the piles of blankets. Slowly hiking her dress up only to be met with nothing underneath. Ironhide stilled, intake caught in surprise at her display. His optics roved hungrily over the tempting view before him, unable to deny the allure of her plan so cunningly executed.

A low rumble rose from his chassis. "Devious creature," he purred, engine revving at the wanton invitation in her gaze. How could he refuse when she had so clearly orchestrated this?

His name softly falls from her lips. Her eyes flicker to where he kneels in front of the berth. Leaning down, he nuzzled her frame with utmost care "All this just for me?" His field pulsed hot and heady as he traced the seam of her folds with a single digit. 

Rising temptation warred with duty and honour. But her needful whine as she canted her hips persuaded him. Slowly Ironhide runs his glossa across sweet skin. She whines loudly when he leans down and runs his glossa between her folds sucking softly on her clit before he delivers back into teasing. Her hands grip his helm quickly. "Ironhide please" she calls out.

His glossa is enveloped in tight velvet warmth. His intake caught on a groan at sensations. He could never get enough of how sweet she tasted, she is sweeter than pre war energon candies. Ironhide rumbled deeply at her pleas, the sound vibrating through her very core as he worshipped her flesh. Making her gasp and cry out brought him no small amount of satisfaction to reduce his teasing femme to putty in his grasp with nothing but tongue. 

"Easy, little one," he crooned against her wetness. With maddening slowness he circled her clit, cataloguing every hitch of her breath, every whimper and sigh. Ever so carefully Ironhide delved his glossa inside.

 Ironhide rumbled deep in approval as she rode his glossa without restraint, soft hips bucking against his mouth. making her pleasure his sole focus in that moment. Her cries and moans only spurred him on, lapping eagerly at her slick flesh.

One hand braced against her hip to hold her steady, But Ironhide was far from passive, pressing his glossa as deep as he was able between each thrust. The vibrations of his rumbling engine only enhanced every sensation. 

When her hips began to canter erratically, Ironhide redoubled his efforts. Cried out moans leave her lips as her orgasm hits, hips bucking in irregular patterns as she sobs out Ironhide's name. With one final curl of his glossa, he felt her walls flutter madly around him. Greedily Ironhide lapped up every drop of her release, savouring this sweet taste. 

Yet still he craved more of her intoxicating and addictive taste, seeking to prolong her bliss for as long as was within his power. 

Carefully he manoeuvred her limp frame until she straddled his glossa once more, keening softly as the hypersensitive flesh of her clit met his eager mouth. Slowly Ironhide tongued her folds, memorising every detail as her flavour grew sweeter still in her fluttering aftershocks. "Ironhide!" She moans out loudly. 

One of his hands trailed maddeningly along her back, tracings her spine, caressing and stroking anew. Ironhide growled around his mouthful, greedily drinking in every drop he could  as shudders wracked her frame.

Retreating only when she sagged fully sated against him, Ironhide cradled her close to his chassis, content merely to hold her. Her breathing calmed as he nuzzled her adoringly, spark swelling with quiet joy. 

She lays content against him, soft pants leaving her lips as Ironhide brings her pile of blankets up for her. She slowly snuggles into him through the blankets. Ironhide himself is content to put off mission reports for his little minx.

Ironhide's engine rumbled softly in wordless affection as the human curled contentedly against his chassis, safely wrapped in makeshift padding. Her soft respiration and fluttering pulse cycled down into sated recharge, safe in his guarded embrace.

Adjusting until he was lounging comfortably, Ironhide idly stroked her naked back, tracing glyphs into soft flesh

Until then, Ironhide was content simply to monitor her recharge and bask in the aftermath. The closeness of her tiny frame to his mighty systems never ceased to stir something deep within.

Her presence soothed the savage rages of battle, tempering even his trigger-happy impulses into something nobler. "Minx" he mumbles softly before settling in to recharge himself. 

[importantchaosgiver]

Where Loyalties Lie:

Truth Now Seen

Summary: With a whole new revelation, (Y/N) is left confused, upset and angry. And she needs to vent. And, so... she does...

Warnings: Canon typical swearing

Masterlist

******

No One's POV

(Y/N) held onto a rope as the ship bobbed along the waves. They were heading to High Tide, to Driftmark to meet with Corlys in hopes of betrothing Ser Laenor to Rhaenyra. Unfortunately, most people knew of Ser Laenor's... preferences and most didn't see this working at all. Then, Lord Strong walked up to her. The newly appointed Hand of the King after Otto had been dismissed from his post after rumours concerning Rhaenyra's virtue. "How is he?" (Y/N) asked Lyonel. He sighed softly. "He shouldn't have made this journey," he muttered. She looked down sadly. He was getting worse. And she couldn't bare that thought. "What of you? Are you well?" Lyonel asked gently. He had noticed her usual distant glances and stern, confused stares into the abyss. "Perfectly fine, my lord," she said calmly.

"You're not. It may not be as clear to others, but I can see it," he muttered. (Y/N) turned her head, glancing at Viserys who was coughing into a handkerchief. Then, she looked over to where High Tide was visible. "I've learnt something. Something... that changes everything," she muttered. Lyonel said nothing after that.

When they finally arrived, the winds had calmed somewhat and it was rather beautiful. Laena and Vaemond met with them as they saw Ser Laenor and Joffrey practicing. As Lyonel and Viserys went to go see Corlys and Rhaenys, (Y/N) stood on a balcony, overlooking the sea and High Tide. She then turned her gaze to the skies, to the gods if she could. "Viserys is resting," Rhaenys said from behind (Y/N). She didn't flinch. "Aye. This journey has taken a lot out of him. He should have never came. But, your husband is stubborn," she said. Rhaenys noticed her tone of voice. "Something troubles you, Lady (Y/N)," she stated. The female knight looked at Rhaenys and sighed.

"I've learnt some things... I wish I didn't," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. "Viserys's sickness?" Rhaenys guessed. She wasn't blind, she knew how (Y/N) felt for Viserys and him in turn. "No, well... partially. I learnt... my mother is actually barren. She found me... at the base of a Weirwood tree. Newly born, naked and crying. The face of the tree crying its red sap. A Child of The Seven," (Y/N) explained, looking at the older princess. And Rhaenys was stunned. "You're... a demi-god?" she whispered. "No... yes? I don't know!" (Y/N) said angrily, rubbing her face. "Everything I thought I was. A bastard, the daughter of a whore, a knight and protector... it changes now that I know this. The gods created me for something. And I fear what," she whispered. Rhaenys was of course, flabbergasted at this news. But, gently placed a hand on her back. "It will make sense," she reassured. "But it won't!" (Y/N) shot back, walking away from the balcony and inside.

"I have seen the most terrible dreams. And I don't know when it will happen, but it feels so real. I saw a boy with a crown upon the Iron Throne. And I couldn't mistake him for what he was. Everything about him said Lannister. He was hurting a girl for some reason. An innocent young thing. Then, I hear things. I heard... Winter Is Coming. And... Rhaenys... I'm scared," (Y/N) whispered, her breathing slightly quicker. Rhaenys noticed and moved forward, hugging the knight. "It will be fine. It will all make sense eventually," she said gently. Although, she was just as lost as her friend. She had no clue what it all meant. But, whatever it was... it wasn't anything of comfort or good...

******

Sorry if it's short and the next bit will be the timeskip. Hope you like it!

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,060

Picture NOT mine.

Year posted - 2024

Rating - SFW

Reading time (Roughly) - 12 minutes

This one was actually a request, which I don't typically do, but sometimes I simply can't resist!

Tag(s) - @rishdrago

With a tired sigh (Y/n) sat the last of her groceries onto the counter in her kitchen. It was another long day at work, with another grueling case coming to a close. While she loves her job, sometimes it really takes a toll on her. But now at home all she needs to worry about is putting away her groceries, and making a quick dinner. Easy enough. If it wasn't for the sound of a floorboard creaking in the hallway that set her into fight or flight mode.

Spinning on her heel in an instant, she unholstered her pistol and aimed at the doorway to the hallway. "You really messed up you know, but if you know what's good for you, you'll come into the light nice and slow. Otherwise you're gonna leave my house in an ambulance, or a body bag." (Y/n) called out to the would be intruder, bracing herself for a potential firefight. But when the intruder rounded the corner, and came into sight, she nearly dropped her gun. "Frank?" She breathed out in a whisper, her arms falling to her sides. "Frank's dead." He muttered mournfully. "You look pretty fucking alive to me." She sassed as she holstered her pistol, knowing deep down that she could still trust Frank with her life.

The behemoth of a man simply shrugged his shoulders, taking a small first step into the room, as if he was testing the water. "What are you doing here?" She asked turning back to her groceries, while letting him come into the room at his own pace. "I killed Gianni Franco." He stated as he walked up to the other side of the counter, leaving the space between them to prove he meant her no harm. "Trust me Frank, I am well aware of that. You do realize I'm still a detective right? And I'm still friends with Jake you know, so I'm the one he goes to, to vent about you." She glanced his way, trying to get a read of his reaction to her words.

He seemed unbothered, which really didn't surprise her. "I'm sorry." Now that surprised her. Setting the box of noodles down, she turned her full attention to Frank. "Why are you apologizing to me? I'm not the one you should apologize to." She pointed out, but Frank didn't seem bothered, as he casually scratched at the scruff on his face. "Frank why are you here?" She asked now standing across from him at the counter, looking into his eyes which once swirled with so much life. "I don't know... I'm not exactly sure what to do now." He admitted.

"Jake would tell you to turn yourself in." (Y/n) mused with a small smile, her words making him chuckle softly under his breath, a sound she had missed more than she ever realized until now. "That's why I came to you." He admitted, now leaning against the counter. "I knew you wouldn't arrest me on the spot like Jake, and I could just talk to you." Frank admitted with a small smile, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Well that's where me and Jake are different, I actually believe you're doing the world good by killing those guys. People like that have to much money and power for us to touch, and we could use a vigilante to even out the odds." She hummed as she grabbed a beer from the fridge, sliding it across the counter to Frank, who took it with a small mutter of thanks. "I knew you'd feel that way." He said before sipping his beer. "Then why didn't you come to me sooner?" She asked as she leaned again the counter.

"Because I don't want you trying to join me." He stated matter-of-factly, making (Y/n) chuckle softly. "That's fair I guess, but what's changed? Why come to me now?" She pried, hoping he would open up to her. "I had a dream about you last night." His words stuck a cord in (Y/n)'s heart, one she didn't realize was still there until now. "A dream?" She played off her nerves like a natural, making her glad she was trained to hide her true emotions, in order to effectively interrogate suspects.

"It started as a nightmare, I was reliving their deaths." She knew he was referring to his family, so she didn't pry for clarification, knowing it only hurt him to talk about them. "But before I could wake up, you appeared from the shadows. You didn't say anything, you just..." He trailed off as he stared at his beer. "You just pulled me into a hug, and held me while I cried for them." (Y/n)'s heart broke at his admittance, she knew he hated showing vulnerably before he lost his family, let alone now that he's The Punisher.

"It made me realize how much I've missed you, and I also realized I can't keep doing this alone, I can't keep being alone." He looked up to her, his eyes ever so glossy. "I know Julie would want me to move on, to come to terms with what happened. But I couldn't do that while the Franco's were still alive and free." He sipped his beer. "But now... Now I need help getting through this, and you're the only one that can help me (Y/n)." Frank wanted to hold her hand as he spoke, but he resisted the urge.

"I'll always be here for you Frank." She assured him, her words pulling a genuine smile from him. "How about I make us some dinner, and we can figure out where to go from there." She offered, smiling when he nodded in agreement. "You should stay here tonight, get a shower and have some normalcy for a change." She added. "Are you trying to say I smell bad?" He asked with a playful smirk.

"Frank dear I've been holding my breath this entire time." (Y/n) joked, making him roll his eyes, despite his smile. "Still a smartass I see." He huffed. "You wouldn't have it any other way." She sassed before pointing to the hallway. "You still remember where the guestroom is." She added, smiling when he nodded and walked off to take a shower while she cooked dinner.

"Well what are you planning on doing now that you've dealt with the Franco family?" (Y/n) asked before she finished off the last bite of her dinner. "There are still people who are not punished by the justice system." Frank stated having finished his dinner long before she had. "Are you planning on doing to them what you did to the Franco's?" She asked. "Only to those who deserve it." Frank clarified, setting (Y/n)'s mind at ease.

"I'm glad you've come to me Frank, but I'm unbelievably exhausted, and I need to get some sleep." She rose from her seat, picking up her plate, and moving to grab his. Frank took her plate, and grabbed his own. "I'll deal with the dishes, go to bed, we can talk more in the morning." He insisted. "Okay thank you." She leaned over and pecked his temple like she used to as a quick thanks. "Oh and I forgot to ask, you didn't break any windows to get in did you?" She asked.

"No don't worry, I just picked the lock on the back door." He shrugged casually. "You still have that spare key I gave you don't you?" She arched a brow at him, and his faint smile gave him away. "Goodnight Frank." She called as she walked away into the hall. "Goodnight (Y/n)." He called back to her. When (Y/n) reached her bedroom, she began shedding off her clothes, in desperate need of a warm shower before going to bed.

As the water washed over her sore muscles, (Y/n)'s mind drifted to Frank. She'd been so torn up when he was declared dead, and mourned for him and his family for many months. They were a big part of her life, they were family to her. Even though deep down (Y/n) had loved Frank in a deeper more heart wrenching way. She knew it wasn't right, she knew that then, and even now she feels guilty for it.

She never acted on it, and never intended on trying to take him as her own. He was happy and he deserved the love he already had with Julie. Now things are different, but it still doesn't feel right, even if it's been over a year since she passed. He clearly still loved her, and (Y/n) wasn't going to make a fool of herself, and potentially push him away and loose him again. Still she couldn't deny the way her heart fluttered at the sight of him again, so much more gruff and rugged.

And knowing that he trusted her enough to come to her made her head spin. By the time she finished her shower, her eyes grew heavy with sleep. Her mind was still stuck on Frank, even as she crawled between the sheets. She wondered idly if he would still be here in the morning, or if he'd ever come back when he did leave. As she began drifting to sleep, she heard the sound of the guestroom door opening and closing. Telling her he was still here, and most likely would still be come morning.

(Y/n)'s sleep was dreamless and peaceful, which was better than she'd had in weeks. While Frank's dreams were chaotic and filled with memories that still hurt him oh so deeply. He dreamt of his children, of his wife, of the look of betrayal and hurt on Jakes face. Then he dreamt of (Y/n), and her never ending acceptance of the choices he's made. He felt at ease while he dreamt of her, his tense muscles relaxing as he dreamt of walking with her beside a lake.

She always had a way of putting him at ease, just by simply being there and listening to him vent whenever he needed it. He knew she meant more to him than just a friend, but he much like her, had never intended on exploring those feelings. But now after everything, despite knowing he's putting her in danger by coming around, Frank knows he needs her. He needs her help more than ever, and he knows deep down that Julie would understand.

When morning came Frank woke up to the smell of breakfast. Something he's missed more than he realized until now. In a bit of a groggy daze Frank wondered into the kitchen, dressed in the sleep clothes he found in the closet in the guestroom. "Mornin' bud." (Y/n) mused as she pushed a fresh cup of coffee his way. "Morning." He muttered as he slipped at the hot brew, slightly surprised she remembered how he likes his coffee.

"You want some breakfast?" She asked as she pulled two plates from the cupboard. "Please." He nodded his head in agreement. "Good because I made plenty." She mused with a smile, as she placed a plate in front of him. "I'm glad you're still here and you didn't slip away in the night." She added sincerely. "I half expected that last night would be the last time I'd ever see you." Her words cut him deeper than he would have expected, but he understood where she was coming from.

"Like I said, I need your help." Frank said earnestly. "Well then, what's the plan?" She asked as she sat beside him with her own plate. "I don't really have a plan, but for now I think we'll just take it one day at a time, and figure it all out." He shrugged. "Wow the Frank Castle doesn't have a plan, that's a first." (Y/n) joked, making him chuckle. "So are you planning on staying here?" She asked a few moments later. "No I don't want to put you at risk of being caught hiding a fugitive." He shook his head.

"I appreciate that." She hummed softly, having worried a bit about that last night. "I think it'll be best if I just come in the evenings when I need... Well a shoulder to lean on I guess." He said, picking at his food a little. "And when you need patched up I imagine." She added, trying to lighten the mood a bit, and Frank agreed with a small chuckle. "Yeah I'm sure I probably will come to you when I need patched up." He smiled at her before going back to eating his breakfast. "I'll be sure to stock up on some supplies." (Y/n) mused more to herself, than to Frank.

(Y/n)'s pager went off with a shrill beeping, signaling that it was time to get to work. Her partner letting her know they already had a new case to work on. "Well that's my queue, I've gotta get going. I'll see you later Frank, don't worry about the dishes, I'll deal with that when I get home." (Y/n) moved back into the kitchen, placing her half empty plate into the sink for now. "Hey (Y/n)." Frank called to her before she could rush off. "Yeah?" She asked, turning her attention to him. "Thank you, for everything." He stood from his seat, and crossed the room, pulling her into a hug. "You're welcome Frank." She hummed as she hugged him back, feeling as though she's already made a difference in his chaotic life.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

I honestly couldn't think of a better way of ending this one, but I hope it was satisfactory either way. I'm a little rusty, as I haven't consistently written in ages, so I apologize if it didn't turn out as good as you hoped. (゜-゜)

[makerofmadness]

Golden Cheese Cookie (II AU)

thought for posts talking about individual characters I'd start with the first character I properly developed for it. So uh fun fact since this AU spawned during the Land of Fire and Ruin update guess who basically wrote herself out of my brain at this AU's inception

That's right: our lord and savior Biggie Cheese /ref

The Demonic Goddess, Great Destroyer, Beast of Destruction, whatever name you wish to call her <3

(other relevant posts: main post about AU, GC dialogue post)

She was the fourth of her friends to fall- and she hung on by a thread for all that time. You see, the thing about them was that as they tried to make it through the eons, the only real comfort they had was in each other... however, over time, even that wasn't meant to last. Against their wills. Things got in the way. One by one, they fell

Golden Cheese Cookie, poor Golden Cheese Cookie... she was never the best at handling loss. First it was the Dark Flour War, then it was being displaced in time itself, and now she had to endure the cycle of repeatedly building things up and watching them fall, over and over and over again as history marched its way on...

If it hadn't been for the love and support of her friends, those most precious treasures of hers, she would have shattered so much sooner. They helped her endure, kept her grounded, through every time her heart had been cut into and grief had poured out of it...

And then, some of them just... fell silent. It was impossible to arrange to meet anymore without full communication. No one wanted to really acknowledge what had likely happened

Still, she just barely survived on letters alone. As much as it hurt not getting to see her friends' faces, to hold them in her arms- and even when the next one fell, at least she had...

Eventually, after yet another loss, yet another blow to her mental state that had long been past the point of collapse, she waited and waited for Pure Vanilla Cookie to write back to her...

But even he had finally fallen silent.

...had he been taken from her too, just like everything else? Had all of them been? All of her friends, just like all the rest of her treasures- why was the world so keen on ripping them from her arms?

She finally had reached her breaking point. With nothing and no one else left, she finally cracked under the pressure.

If the world was going to destroy everything she loved, destroy her...

Then why shouldn't she just treat it the same way?

-

I was originally gonna write the rest out in long form but decided to put it in bullet notes for ease of presentation/to make it easier to read through. Just talking about her personality/Present self.

Queen of the Land of Spice; highly protective (arguably possessive) over her subjects who, in turn... mostly fear her and her destructive power. Though unlike with a certain Cookie in another time, it isn't only fear they have for her...

Still as greedy as ever. If she likes something enough, she hordes it in her palace's vaults, safe and sound and unable to be stolen (...this sometimes also applies to living desserts)

She is very clingy. (Not just physically... but often also physically; hey, she loves hugs!)

She's also very affectionate. (In general. Including physically. Again, she loves hugs)

Has a few cat-like mannerisms. Picked them up from a certain dear friend of hers

She has a lot more energy in her than she used to, making her behavior border on hyperactive, as a result of her not constantly venting her destructive energy. She wasn't really built to handle destruction, and that energy has to come out, one way or another...

When she is upset or distressed, that energy grows out of her control, and she goes into a full-on destructive rampage. There aren't many Cookies that can stop her when this happens, so the Spices have just kinda learned to keep a far distance and wait her out. After all, if any of them get even just hurt (let alone worse) by her, that will only devastate her more, and devastation... breeds devastation.

She considers herself to be both the Demon and the God described by the legend, as she was once one and is now the other.

She is particularly close with Nutmeg Tiger Cookie.

She can be quite playful. Despite being older, she's arguably acts even more childishly than she used to.

She laughs a lot. It's a coping mechanism.

The crack in her face emanates pure destructive energy.

Even after an eternity spent ripped from them, she has not forgotten a single Cookie of the Golden Cheese Kingdom...

She... doesn't really like what she's become. She especially doesn't like her uncontrollable destructive urges. But she can't help it, so... might as well revel in it. Have fun with it! She isn't having fun. At least until she can take back what is rightfully hers...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking about how happy I am that I switched medications and discussing side effects I had?

CW for mention of eating disorders and vomiting

Sorry if that question is phrased weirdly.

I (F24) am in a fandom Discord server with about 50 or so people in it. I'm friends with a few of the people in the server, but the rest are just sort of acquaintances that I sometimes talk to.

We have the usual non-fandom areas for talking, sharing pictures, a vent channel, etc. There's also a sort-of vent channel that's more for discussing life stuff and getting advice.

We were talking about medications for depression/anxiety and I basically said "Yeah I used to be on SSRI's but stopped because of a few specific side effects, and then when I finally switched to a non-SSRI and realized that it was MASSIVELY fucking with my appetite to the point of causing severe binge eating issues."

The person (who was asking if we had experience with any meds) asked what I meant, so I told them how obsessed with food I was, how I would wait until my parents went to bed (I live with them because fuck this economy) and then go around the house looking for candy, I could eat an entire bag of chips in one night, and one night ate so much candy to the point I got sick and vomited.

I told them that once I started Vyvance for my ADHD the issue improved quite a bit (turns out it's used to treat binge eating disorders), but now that I'm not on a SSRI my appetite and relationship with food is actually normal.

I'm not constantly thinking about food 24/7, I would actually feel full after eating a meal, and I'm no longer having extreme cravings for sugar and salty stuff. I don't have an obsession with taking all the candy in the house and eating it in one sitting, I can just... Leave it there and have some the next day.

I also mentioned that because of that, I've lost 50lbs and I no longer get out of breath just from going up the stairs, and my chronic ankle pain is SO much better to the point I barely notice it (I fucked it up when I was younger). I also no longer have high cholesterol, and when I go outside in the summer I don't feel like I'm going to die.

All of this was put under a cut, with a CW for eating disorders. The person I was talking to basically said "Holy shit thank you so much for letting me know"

I sort of forgot about it afterwards, but a few days later I went onto Discord and saw that the server was gone. I thought Discord was glitching out, but eventually messaged a friend (F20s) who's also in the server and asked her what was going on and if something happened to the server.

She said no, and was confused as to why I wasn't in it anymore. I didn't leave it on accident, it was just... Not there. She sent me an invite link, but it said the link was expired.

She messaged one of the mods (NB28) and asked them if anyone else was having problems joining the server/it disappearing, and they told her that I was permanently banned from the server.

She asked them why, and they said that I was banned for fatphobia and promoting an eating disorder.

She asked them how I was promoting an eating disorder (since I literally talked about recovering from one), and they said that it was because I was discussing weight loss as something positive, which I guess to them automatically = anorexia???

My friend, without me asking to, told me that she tore the mod a new one and called them a dumbfuck for thinking me no longer having binge eating issues and feeling healthier after losing weight is even close to promoting an eating disorder.

Context: My friend literally has anorexia, so she's familiar with how eating disorders work.

The mod then told her she and I are both fatphobic pieces of shit, and banned HER too. The mod in question has posted multiple selfies before, and they're not even fat. I'm like twice the size they are, even after losing weight.

AWTA or is the mod just on some kind of weird savior-complex powertrip?

What are these acronyms?

[charredcheddar]

It's autism awareness month so I guess everyone needs to be aware of me.

This does devolve into a vent so fair warning here

I was diagnosed in my last year of secondary school during post-lockdown when I was 15/16 (though for some reason my report says I was 17 despite that objectively not being true; that's an offical medical document, it's mildly concerning). The only reason I did was because lockdown had messed me up so much I point-blank refused to attend school. In the end I had to join a video call with my head of house and ESLA worker who told my parents that they could not help me and to get professional help. I thought they meant therapy for depression. My parents decided they meant to get the autism diagnosis I had been asking for.

I'd been self diagnosed for at least a year by that point so I really didn't know what it was going to do for me. The only real benefit was mildly getting rid of my imposter syndrome. Since I diagnosed myeslf based on information I got on tiktok, I was worried I was just following a trend or that the app itself had caused all my issues (like ruining my attention span). Nowadays I don't know what is my autism, what is depression and what is just me being lazy and unmotivated.

Either way, I am now formally diagnosed and have been for 2 and a half years. Not that it helped. I did manage to go back to school and get my GCSEs. Honestly they were very good but deep down I knew I was capable of better. I got into the local sixth form studying four subjects. At the end of first year, I signed up to take an EPQ. To noone's surprise, this was too much for me and I did no work over the summer. As well as this, I was 9 months behind on maths/further maths homework, barely completing my film coursework and had pretty much checked out of computing. During a breakdown 2 days before the start of the year, my mum sat me down and asked if I really wanted to go back. I said no and she called my form tutor to arrange me dropping out. Since I was going to turn 18 in a few weeks, she said I didn't need to go back at all.

So now 7 months later I'm not really doing anything. I've had the same part time job since late 2022 and did a 3 month full time job a few months ago. However, that was so draining I didn't accept the extended contract they offered. To be completely honest, I'm worried I will never be able to hold down a full time job. I'm also mourning the fact I will never be able to go to university. I cannot do independent study and self motivation. It's hard considering my whole life I felt like I was meant to go to uni and study a stem subject because I was book smart. Looking back, I don't think I ever actually learned anything I just was really good at memorising information for exams.

I'm trying to spend more time on my hobbies and interests but it's hard to motivate myself to get up. Most of my time is spent on social media watching content to make myself feel better. Every so often I do get around to doing something that I actually want to do. I crocheted myself one of those cat ear hats (it was too big so I might have to do it again but oh well) and I started editing a livestream I did last month. Plus my music club is starting agin soon and I've missed practising. I wish I could do more. There's still so much I want to learn and do.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't autistic. The one thought that really messed with me was the fact that if I wasn't autistic I wouldn't be as good at school as I was since my 'intellegence' was just pattern recognition. Ultimately there would be nothing special about me. However, would I have longer lasting friendships? Would I lose my crippling fear of authority and rules so I could have more fun? After all, I'm 18 and feel like it's too late to enjoy my life.

I suppose there's some parts of my autism that I consider core parts of myself. My ability to become obsessed with something like a piece of media that brings me joy. My pattern recognition, as mentioned. Without those I don't really know who I am. Autism is such a core part of my personality and self and without it I really don't think I would be the same person.

Anyway that was a lot but I need to get back to telling you about the Five Nights at Freddy's lore/ref

[lilalilan]

Like I have sensory processing issues, and I have trauma. Those two things are completely interconnected for me and affect each other on a regular basis. That doesn't mean it would be accurate to say that my sensory processing issues should be part of my trauma diagnosis, or used to determine the severity of my trauma.

I'm not saying you can't find your experiences of sensory processing/integration issues and autism to be interconnected, or two concepts that are inseparable for you personally. I'm just saying it's frustrating to see things about sensory issues or accomodations for sensory issues always assume that it's about/for autistic people unless proven otherwise. It's frustrating having my experiences mislabeled as being exclusively autistic experiences when I am describing an experience that autistic people have but which isn't exclusive to autistic folks. It's frustrating that financial aid to get a service dog for sensory issues is only available for autistic children.

I'm pretty sure I wrote the original post out of frustration that someone took an article that mentioned having a quiet space with sensory toys and ear protectors for people who got overwhelmed, and turned that into "the article talks about there being a quiet room for autistic people (and others who get overwhelmed)".

It's a sense of fear, I guess. People already tend to forget that sensory processing/integration issues can be their own diagnosis. People already tend to see sensory processing/integration issues as meaning autism, with non autistic people with sensory issues coming as an afterthought.

It's fear about loosing what little solidarity exists around sensory problems, it's fear of not being able to access accomodations that I need or that would be extremely helpful because it's locked behind a diagnosis I don't actually have. It's fear of not being able to speak about my own experiences or being told I'm faking or appropriating another group's experiences if I do. It's the fear of being told to shut up and deal with it because I don't have it as bad as other people.

And yeah some of this is almost certainly irrational. Like pretty much everyone I know with sensory issues I've got trauma from people being dismissive and denying accomodations, and I'm also overwhelmed from other things right now. This wasn't meant to be a manifesto, it was a little vent post I didn't expect anyone other than the 1 or 2 mutuals who'd liked it at first to find.

Y'all do know that sensory issues aren't actually part of autism right? Like if you're autistic and have sensory issues those sensory issues are a separate, comorbid thing. If you look at the actual diagnostic criteria for autism sensory issues are not actually a part of them. Sensory processing issues tend to be comorbid with autism, but you can be autistic without sensory issues and you can have sensory issues without being autistic

[teenageguidelinesforcraptimes]

The Cycle

Originally, I was going to write what happened last Thursday. But something happened today, so there's blogging for you!

My parents argue. Most do. But eventually, it can start to be my dad pitching everything that goes wrong on her, blaming her for everything, saying how incapable and stupid she is. Tonight, it was that crap, and how she wasn't a good mother to my brother.

What the actual shi-

He's an abuser. Yesterday, he literally told me he doesn't care what I do after I turn eighteen. Now, I don't know flip about non-abusive dads, but I'm pretty sure that's not something you say to your own kid. (Seriously, is it? Tell me, once this blog gets some views because the count's on zero for now.)

So, if he's abusive, he obviously doesn't know how to parent properly. So who is he to judge on how good my mum is at being a mum?

She's a good parent. She's one of the only people I couldn't leave behind when I wanted to commit suicide. And if you don't kill yourself for someone, then that person is GOOD.

Some people blame the abuser's wife, or girlfriend, or boyfriend, lover, whatever. Na-uh, not their fault. It's never the victim's fault. All three of us, my brother, me, and my mum, we were all caught up in this storm. Yeah, I hate it at home so many times, maybe all the time, but I will never blame my mum.

Sorry if I sound defensive. Well, I am defending my mum. So...

Anyway. That's why I cut in the "argument". I couldn't care less about whatever adult stuff that was going on, I cared about defending my mum.

He fired back at me, saying how it was none of my business and how I didn't understand anything. Didn't stop him from spitting a bunch of other stuff in front of me, like always.

When he finished taking a shower, and the house was ringing with deafening silence and post-abuse-tension, he called that he needed a towel because there were none left in the bathroom.

I was going to hand him one, but my mum took it from me and gave it to him. Then he shut the door on her arm.

She cried out, and then it was over. He opened the door to let her go, and she left.

I just stood there for a moment. A minute? Two minutes?

Then I said to him through the door, "You should apologize for that at least." Something among those lines.

That was it. No more words.

When he closed the door on her arm... I don't know how that looks like from someone reading this, not living in my home. But he's threatened physical harm before, and living with an unpredictable temper for so long that it becomes predictable really teaches a kid to not trust him.

I won't trust my dad. I will not trust him to not hurt my mum, brother, and me. I know it sounds cold, and maybe I am being cold because I don't know how to be distressed about this, but I can't trust someone who's a ticking time bomb.

So, I can't say he won't physically hurt us, but when he does, if he does, I know I won't be too surprised.

I'm so sorry. This isn't meant to be venting, though it's probably that whatever I do, but I really hope that this is useful, somehow, in some way.

So, that's that. I guess, moral of the story... don't trust abusers? Stand up for what's right even if it won't work.

[t0shii]

% pretty hands

.! timeskip! tsukishima, kageyama (sep) x gn!r

.! fluff, not proofread, mention of food in tobio's

.! this is like a pt 2 to my other "pretty hands" post, check that one out also!

tsukishima

it was common for you to sit or lay in tsukishima's lap while he read aloud for you. originally, he wasn't fond of reading out loud for you. he thought it was weird and awkward but one night when you just couldn't sleep, you'd asked him and he agreed, saying "if it'll help you sleep.... i guess so."

tonight was one of those nights, it was storming horribly and try as you might, you just couldn't sleep. tsukishima had grown irritated at your tossing and turning, "turn the lamp on, i'll get my book." you're not sure if you should be happy he's going to read to you or upset he's only doing so to stop you annoying movements, nonetheless the do as told, the now lit lamp beside your side of the bed just barely illuminates your room and you look to your boyfriend for further instructions. "c'mon then." he holds and arm out for you to climb under and you do just that, your own arms clinging to a penguin plush he'd gotten you at an aquarium a year ago.

he'd been reading for ten minutes and you still weren't budging. he pauses and takes a breath, "you sleepy yet?" you look away shyly, your answer barely audible "...no" he frowns at this, "i'll finish this chapter then find a different book." he mumbles, adjusting his glasses. truthfully, you hadn't been paying attention to the book at all, instead, your mind (and gaze) wandered to his hands instead, they were so pretty. pale and slender, worn-down baby blue nail polish on this nicely trimmed nails from where he'd let you, to your surprise, paint his nails one night many weeks ago and a dainty blue and white bead bracelet with your initials you'd made for him adorning his wrist, to which you had the match of with his initials instead.

he begins reading again but you can't stop looking at his hand- "so as he- what are you doing?" he looks at you confused as you take his free hand in yours, " kei, did you know you have really pretty hands?" you look up at him, "well... no? no one's ever told me that." his cheeks dust a light pink as you continue to inspect his hand, "well you do. they're so soft too, and way bigger than mine, look." you press the palm of your hand against his. of course he already knew his hands were bigger than yours, it didn't take much to notice the difference. you play with and compliment his hands for well over twenty minutes until your eyelids get droopy and eventually, you fall asleep. all this time, tsukishima never knew he had such pretty hands.

kageyama

it was routine that every tuesday evening you and kageyama had a little self-care night. face masks while taking a bubble bath together, movies, and of course take out from your favorite restaurant.

bubble baths were reserved for any thoughts or concerns the two of you needed vent out and the other would comfort you accordingly so. one thing to note about kageyama is that he's a hand talker not only this but his hands are beautiful (a compliment he's received from you many times before) as your boyfriend rants on about how his coach was making him sit out of a match they were having in a few days because his wrist was feeling off, he flicks some soap in your eye. really, you hadn't meant to be so dramatic with your, "AH tobio, be careful!" and you almost felt bad as he curses at himself. "oh shit, baby i'm sorry." he blows gentle, cool air onto your eye, "is it better?" after making sure his hands were free of soap, he gently rubs his thumb over your eye, "no, it stings really bad, tobi." you pout.

even with only one eye open, you can't help admiring your boyfriends hands. how nicely trimmed his nails were with a silver band around his ring finger that you'd gotten him for his birthday almost a year ago that he refused to take off, a mole on his wrist (which he hates) and a freckle in the shape of a heart right beside it. his hands were just pretty, they weren't too large but definitely not small. you take his hand in your own two, removing from your eye, "why are you wearing your ring in the bath?" you furrow your eyebrows at him, "uhh i never take it off. only for volleyball because coach yells at me if i don't." "oh."

you inspect his hand, fidgeting with his fingers and he lets you. "you trim your nails earlier?" "mhm" "i can tell. where'd this bruise come from?" "bumped it on the corner of the dining table." "ah. did i ever tell you that-" "yes, you've told me my hands are pretty. almost everyday, actually." you giggle at him, "that often huh?" "yep." "well, i mean it every time." you mumble, kissing his knuckles, "i know you do." he retracts his hand from yours, hooking a finger under your chin to force your face up, "you're eye looks better."

[popsicle-parfait]

HOLY SHIT I GOT 100 FOLLOWERS WHAT DO I DO NOW THAT I'M RECOGNIZABLE!?

This account is meant for oneshots and writing stuff but it got turned into a place for me to vent and scream about fanfics because I had no other place to do it. Whenever I talk about fanfics to my irl friends they tell me I'm weird and then move on so it doesn't give me the drive to talk to them about this stuff. I've actually also have talked to my online friends about these things too but recently we haven't been interacting much so that's gone out the window. I'm actually surprised that some of you have taken the time out of your day to listen to me spam bullshit for an hour out of spite. Much more for those who've actually followed me! Damn, I feel like I should do something special for this milestone but I don't know what so forgive me a real sec. But to get back on topic, I also wanted to discuss literature stuff with people but I felt like if I did that I'd get shown up by someone who's read more than me, hell the only thing that I've read even close to literature is the stuff in English class so I felt ashamed to even think I could talk to other about this stuff. But, the more I did it and the more I got really good feedback on it I realized I wasn't the only person to feel the things I do. Others might say I complain too much and that I have no right to criticize other people's writings but you don't have to have a degree to be a writer now do you? You just have to appeal to people, at least that's what it all comes down to. Writing for fun is cool too and I don't have any problems with that, however, I find it disappointing how the way we make fanfics hasn't changed. We still have "depressed op reader x male" but only in today's terms. I want to see something new, something that hasn't been done before and it makes me a bit annoyed to see the same plots over and over again. Yknow what'd I killed to read? A magical girl anime insert! I've never seen anyone do that before and I only ever seen one on Wattpad but even then it was an op male reader and you know how I feel about those. I think that if I could see these types of fanfics more often it would not only break gender roles but it made me think, "if female reader writers (that's a mouthful) can make y/n go to an all-boys school (which wouldn't make any sense whatsoever IRL but I'll make a post on that) out of bullshittery, why can't we do the same?". I know like 99% of you guys aren't going to do that but it'd be nice to see something cool I guess. Anyway, sorry for me being sentimental. I'm just happy that despite the effort I make to get people to like my art on all my other social media accounts, this is the one that gets the attention the most. Because I think it's not only me who's tired of reading the same things right? I've been on social media for a long time and my art account has 60 followers but for all the effort I put into my art only to get 2 likes a day, it just discourages me, to be honest. I know I'm not supposed to do shit for other people but you can't help but hear your heartbreak a little when no one gives a shit. Recently I don't want to post my art on that account anymore because I don't have any motivation to post since I don't get any satisfaction from it. Nowadays I just keep my sketches and shit to myself since I know trying again with social media really won't do shit for me in the long run. For now, though, I think I'm pretty good with the way things are now so I don't feel the need to ask myself questions like "Do they not like this character?" "What type of fanart appeals to people?" "Is my art style that bad?" anymore. I think I'm at a point in life where I feel okay, so I'm going to try and keep it that way.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

@sun-wukong-kinnie-2

#also please dont discredit ace people like that#micheal being ace has nothing to do with this argument and like#im not trying to acuse you of being aphobic but it really kind of comes across like that yknow#sorry if this sounds like#aggresive it isnt meant to#thank you!

Okay so first of all I'm not gonna cuss you out cause you're a kid but oh my freaking god. First of all you're a kinnie. second of all you're a minor. You have no business watching any of vivziepops current shows, interacting with the current adult oriented vivziepop fandom, or having any opinions about them, much less the voice actors. Therefore, I do not need to justify any of my adult opinions or explain anything I'm saying to some random kid who should've headed the 18+ emoji signs that I've put on this blog. I wasn't "arguing" anything, this was a vent post about how annoying fandoms are. Case and point, you shouldn't have interacted with my posts at all.

Lackadaisy is kind of a separate thing and I guess no one knows who the target audience is for the show so I will say these three things:

Ashiey's favorite gaming youtubers are pewdiepie and jontron and her all time favorite vocabulary word is "degenerate". You do the math.

The director of Lackadaisy, zebirdbrain, recently came under fire for liking some tweets from transphobic bigots saying that trans women shouldn't be allowed in sports. zebirdbrains defense for liking these tweets was to claim it was just "research" and "wanting to see different perspectives" and then the whole lackadaisy crew immediately went on the defensive blocking anyone who had any concerns or questions regarding what was going on, and then they posted a shitty "apology" onto the Lackadaisy discord that was only in a scripted, pre-written Q&A type format. Ashley also defended the transphobe in question (zebirdbrain) by calling her "A Good Egg." So not a good look for Ashley ether.

Aside from the other incident of the "LACKACREW" turning down a generous five thousand dollar donation from Spindlehorse, the studio currently making the shows you have no business watching, the Lackadaisy director exhibiting actual terfy JK Rowling type behaviors was enough to convince some people to do the right thing and drop all of their previous support for the Lackadaisy project entirely. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way but you were being obnoxious to begin with and I'm going to block you now. Please leave the fandoms you know you have no place in.

Oh, and I already believe that people who date self admitted "Bad Gays" who eat at chick fil a should have their queer cards entirely revoked but I guess that Ashley and Micheal eating at the Trump loving, conversion therapy supporting restaurant is so much small potatoes that you just needed to pull a D.W in order to suss out acephobia? Log off.

I love how Angel's new song releases with his new voice actor and instead of praising Blake Roman, all these bitches with tumblr badges next to their username can talk about is The Cult of Micheal Kovach and what Kovach is doing with his career and how he's feeling right now.

Like, he's a boring straight ace and both him and his girlfriend eat at chick fil a and watch neo nazi gamer bros on youtube and Ashley talks like she's a nazi anyway. Goodbye. 💀

[deliverydefresas]

moving step by step (together)

second and last thing i posted on wp that i haven't posted here ((i think)) feel free to ignore if you've read this on wattpad already, as i'm just posting it in case i need to refer to it later.

(not proofread. it never is)

prompt(?): domestic!simbar deciding to move in together (toanothercountry)

When her day began, she didn't imagine it'd end up the way it did. In fact, to Ámbar the day felt like an endless nightmare.

Between her washing machine breaking, one of her kitchen cloths accidentally catching on fire when she was making her breakfast, her car not starting and thus being late to her first class, forgetting an important paper at home and losing 1/5 of her grade for one of the toughest classes in her semester; Ámbar just wanted to call it a day and forget she even had to endure it.

"The professor told me he'd let me turn it the paper, as long as I added 10,000 words more; and hear this: he won't give me the 20% of the grade, but a 15%, tops." She still needed to get her laundry done, so she'd opted to come by Simón's loft (and Nico and Pedro's too) when her classes had ended. While she waited for it to be done, she'd grabbed a glass of wine while venting her boyfriend's ears off. "So now I need to find something to write about that's worth 1000 words of coherency, otherwise I'll be lucky to even have a 10%. And God knows I need it."

Simón kissed her head sympathetically, adjusting her head - previously leaning on his shoulder- a little bit closer to his neck. "You will, little gem. You're the smartest one in your class, I'm sure you'll find something and, it's penultimate semester, you can do it."

She groaned, "I wish it were as easy as that." He kissed her cheek this time, and she snuggled into him a bit more, needing his support to make her feel less stressed. "Enough of me, how was your day?"

He chuckled, "not as interesting as yours, I'm afraid. Did a little songwriting, had a video-call with a magazine, changed my sheets..." he winked at her, making her laugh.

"Aw, do you want me to give you a gold start? Maybe I should call your mom, tell her her little boy is a nice young man who makes his own bed." Simón leaned in to bite her cheek, causing her to and almost spill her wine all over the couch, and to prevent this, the red liquid ended up on her shirt. Technically, it was one of his, since today's clothes had been thrown in the washer with the rest of the laundry, but still, spilling wine on her clothes wasn't nice. "Simón!" she scoffed him, which only made him laugh at her. He told her to grab another of his old shirts, while he refilled her glass.

She stood up then, cursing him all the way to his room to grab one of the 'pajama' shirts he kept in his top drawer. Ámbar heard him call to her once she had put it on; "hey, is tacos okay with you for dinner? Or do you want me to order you something else?"

"What are the guys having?" she questioned, to prepare herself in case the others ordered less than what their stomachs wanted to eat, and later lead them to steal her food.

"Pedro's staying at Delfi's and Nico is out with his fling, so nothing." Simón answered her, entering his room with his cellphone at hand.

"Then the usual." She told him simply, her boyfriend nodded. "Hey, can I use your laptop to check my e-mail? My phone died."

Simón nodded again. "Sure. Hello? I would like to order two pastor gringas..." he left the room again, not before pointing at his desk, where his laptop was sitting on. She quickly turned it on, taking it to the living room to wait for Simón to finish the call.

Her boyfriend was one of those people who didn't put a password on the device itself, but on the archives in it (which were mostly lyrics, tracks, and unreleased songs), so it didn't take long until she had the browser opened.

Ámbar tried to ignore whatever Simón had open in his last tab, but the images displayed caught her attention.

No, it wasn't porn, nor was it anything compromising. At least not in that way.

Her boyfriend had a Real Estate website open, showing apartments in sale. However, that wasn't what surprised her – he'd talked about finding his own place before-, but that all the options listed Mexico City as their location.

He'd never mentioned moving back to Mexico. They'd planned vacations to his hometown Cancún, sure, but somehow in all their talks about the future she'd had assumed their plans took place in Buenos Aires, close to her family instead of his. She could deal with him going on tour for weeks – she didn't bear months as well as she did weeks, and for this he always flew her in- but to live in two different countries? How was their relationship supposed to work in that scenario? Would it even work out? Sure, she was almost over with her degree, but-

"Little gem," her eyes snapped from the screen to where Simón was standing, by the kitchen's door, "I ordered you an almond horchata, is that okay?" she kept staring at him. "What? Is my laptop giving you problems? Your mail?"

She sighed. "No, I actually haven't opened my mail yet." He gave her a confused look.

"Then what's it? You've been staring at the screen for at least two minutes."

"When were you planning on telling me you're moving to Mexico?"

His mouth shut, his eyes showed surprise and an underlying regret. "Uh... soon?"

"So it's true, then? You're moving there?" Ámbar didn't want her voice to sound as hurt as it did, but she couldn't conceal it, either. After all, this was her boyfriend, the guy she was in love with, and who she'd loved for years now... to imagine him living so far away from her, it hurt her deeply.

To find out like this, instead of from his own mouth, was like salt to the wound. Her already shitty day was turning for the worse.

Simón sighed, his demeanor showing he was ashamed of it. "It's an option." He pursed his lips slightly, walking over to the couch, taking the device off her lap to turn her body towards him. "I was planning on talking to you about this sooner than later, I promise."

"When? When you had already bought it? Or when I had to say goodbye at the airport?" she couldn't help but dab at him, her temper was talking for her right then, "and what do you mean with 'it's an option'? You're looking for a place already, surely it's more than simple 'option'."

Simón let out a sigh, a sign he wasn't sure how to explain it to her, "I- have you noticed how most of our label meetings have been taking place in México?" She nodded, it was hard not to. The boys and him didn't really leave the city unless they absolutely had to, which could be summed up in three reasons: touring, vacations, and meetings. She'd always frown a little when those meetings took place, because she couldn't really understand why they had to leave when their label had offices in BsAs, but never really dared to ask Simón, afraid she'd come out as clingy for not wanting him to leave her for a couple days.

"I just assumed all the 'important' people chose to meet there instead of flying down here."

He scratched his nape. "It's a little bigger than that. Their HQ has always been up there, and their offices here have worked on a smaller scale for years; however, they've wanted all their more... 'recognizable' artists to be closer for a while now."

"So, they're making you move there?"

"Yes and no. They've been nagging us since the beginning to move to Mexico City, but it's only now we've – well, I've- considered it as an option."

"Why? Don't Pedro and Nico want, too?"

Simón grimaced. "They've already been considering it for a couple of years." Oh. Now that she thought about it, Delfina had hinted multiple times over the months 'the possibility' of working in another country. She'd always assumed she meant taking international jobs for a short period while Pedro was out on tour too, but now she guessed she'd meant for her to imagine that possibility, too.

It seemed like she'd assumed lots of things, and it stung to know she'd been in the dark far longer than everyone else. Even Delfi – who'd been dating Pedro a considerably less time than she'd been with Simón- knew of this before her.

Which made her ask him once again. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because you're still in uni, little gem, and I didn't want to move somewhere else while you were here; I still don't. I had a plan, honestly; I was going to wait until you neared graduation to slowly get you used to the idea, and, well, I also wanted to wait in case we didn't work out." She pursed her lips as she was still mad, but knew he had a point. He always did.

"You could've talked to me sooner, though. We could've planned this way sooner, make it easier for both." Ámbar sighed out, trying to get her anger out with it.

"I know, I get it now, and I'm very sorry." He apologized sincerely, grabbing one of her hands to kiss it. "This in no way is me telling you I'm moving tomorrow and leaving you here, little gem, I'd never do that. Hell, I don't even think I could. It's just..."

"An option." She finished for him, sighing again. "I guess I- I don't know, maybe I could start looking at internships in CDMX? When- when would this take place anyway? And I have to talk to my mo-" her eyes widened, "God, my mom! What do I tell her if we go? She'll be all alone here!" Her voice sounded panicky even to her.

"Hey, it's okay, there's no hurry. We've already postponed this for years with the boys, another year or so won't change anything, in fact, we'll need all we can get to get papers and stuff in check. And your mom can always come with us if you're worried about her, no biggie." He told her, as if the three of them moving countries wasn't a big deal, or, y'know, extremely expensive.

"Do you seriously want my mom living with us, Simón?" she snapped at him, and immediately felt bad to do so. He was just trying to help her and then here she was, bitching on his offers. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just... overwhelmed, sorry." He shrugged it off.

"I was actually thinking of you two getting your own apartment but since you're oh so kindly offering to live together..." Her eyes widened once more, shocked. She hadn't realized she'd implied that. "... I guess we can either buy or rent one for ourselves and rent another for your mom."

"That's not what- I mean it's not necessary. An apartment for my mom and I would be okay if she even agrees to move."

Her boyfriend started pouting. "Are you saying you don't want to move in with me?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean-" she stopped talking once she saw a teasing grin on his face. "You're messing with me."

He shook his head, silently laughing as he reached out to sit her on his lap, hugging her waist tightly. "I'm not. I'm actually happy you asked me to move with you, so I don't have to when the time comes."

"I didn't ask you." She felt the need to point it out. "You just assumed I did."

"Because you assumed we'd live together. It's okay; if it were up to me I'd be living with you in a heartbeat, I've thought about it for a while."

She gulped. "You have?"

"Yeah, but since I'm living with two dudes and you're living with your mom... it just isn't viable." That got her thinking.

"Why haven't you gotten your own apartment yet? Any of you?"

Simón shrugged, leaning into their coffee table to grab their glasses. "Rent is cheaper when you divide into three, and all of us have been saving up to get our own pads for when we moved to CDMX."

"It was never a matter of 'if', was it? It was always a 'when' you moved." She already knew the answer, of course, so she didn't wait for him to answer. "What took you so long to do so? I'm sure you could've done so years ago, and now you're waiting for Delfi and I, I guess, but before? What held you back?"

He pondered it for a minute, didn't speak immediately. "Something always came up. At first, we didn't have enough money saved, then Nico's mom had an accident, Pedro wanting to stay until his little sister finished high school... then you. My guess is the universe was waiting for us to meet to let me leave the city." She couldn't help but laugh at this.

"You're such a corny guy."

"Only for you, little gem, only for you." Ámbar took a sip of her wine before snuggling closer to his chest, earning her a kiss on her hair. "So, are we doing this?"

She pushed the anxiety of the unknown to the back of her mind, she knew that if she overthought about it she'd find reasons not to. Instead, she took a deep breath, intoxicating herself with the smell of soap and lotion that lingered on her boyfriend all the time.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but we're doing this together."

"Together," he repeated, giving her hand another kiss. "I like the sound of that."

[alligaytorrr-official]

You'll never guess who's venting on main because it needs the validation that comes from having one's pain witnessed

It has been so long and still it hasn't stopped hurting to have lost a friend who was important to me, who I loved so much, over misinterpretations of words I didn't even say to her, construed so negatively as to take my meaning as more or less the exact opposite of what I was actually saying in some cases. Words that I was wrong to make public, but that I attempted to keep vague to the vast majority of anyone seeing them, that I attempted to prevent from reaching her, and which may not ever have but for the one mutual friend I trusted with my venting, who had encouraged me to trust him, told me he was comfortable in that position, choosing to share this sensitive writing with her against my wishes.

And sure, it's one thing to share someone's words if they say something really despicable. But that's why I've turned to so many people to gather more perspectives, every single one of whom has given the same conclusion that everything I said was normal to feel, understandable to need to vent. All it would have taken from that one friend was to caution me about what platform I was using to satisfy that need to vent, and not one person would have been hurt. I can't understand why he chose the option that instead could hurt the most people. And though people have acknowledged that it was unwise on my part to make such thoughts public, it certainly doesn't seem like so grave an offense as to deserve complete ostracization, to never be spoken to again, in the eyes of a single person I've received input from.

I do also know that that wasn't the sole reason, yet every other reason I was given doesn't hold up. I have checked and double checked and triple checked with people, and not only have people correctly understood what I meant in the first place, every explanation I've presented as counter to the claims made against me has been confirmed as sound. Why was I told "it isn't something you can explain away" when the things I was being accused of weren't even accurate? Of course I can explain them away if they're wrong! I can't comprehend how so many people have assessed things in the exact same way, but the three people at the center of this could be so certain of their beliefs as to entirely refuse me the opportunity to clarify the situation. It is so frustrating to be so confused. I was confused the night it all happened, and all I have received since is assurance that that confusion was and is warranted.

I have to accept that people who mattered very much to me, who up until the very day they were shown the things I'd posted were on good terms with me, immediately turned their opinions around and resolved to deny any possibility that their assumptions were incorrect - and they were! I loved my ex because she had shown herself to be such a kind and compassionate person, and now it's assumed my only interest was her appearance. I tried so hard to improve my mental health and be as good of a partner as I could be for her - knowing I wanted to ask her out and wanting to be a good partner was part of what motivated me to commit to therapy, my concerns about our relationship helped inform the direction of the skills I worked on, and realizing therapy alone wasn't enough for me to be as healthy as I needed to be for our relationship to work is why I finally sucked it up and went on meds - and now it's assumed all I ever wanted from her was sex, which would be an awfully meager reason for all of that work. I loved and trusted my metamour and struggled so much with paranoia I felt towards them, yet tried hard and succeeded at overcoming it, which they knew because I spoke to them directly to clear up my lingering fears months prior to this situation, and now it's assumed that all along I had thought they were a scheming liar, and it's denied that I was ever upfront with them in spite of that conversation. I was afraid of how it would hurt if my metamour became uncomfortable with polyamory and my ex chose to prioritize their relationship over ours as had happened once before, reasonable as it would be, and now it's assumed that I accused my metamour of making her do it, that it wasn't done of her own volition. I worried about stepping on their relationship if I spent too much time with my ex, which my metamour was so understanding and encouraging about, and now it's assumed I believed, and hated, that they took up all of her time. I adored that I got to share my love for my ex with someone I was so glad to have as a friend, even if I sometimes feared if it was right for me, even if I had discomfort around how much more love my ex seemed to express for them, and now it's assumed that it was not discomfort and uncertainty, but hatred for the fact that they were together, even after I had previously told my ex that that wasn't the case. And I was told that I had always made her feel like I only cared about her looks, despite the many assurances she gave that she was happy to be with me and had no qualms with our relationship.

It's like it was all plucked from an alternate dimension. I don't understand it. I can't understand it. I've tried. I've gone back and forth and back and forth, blaming myself for everything, resigning to the belief that they're right and that I was just blind to how terrible I was, and that I've only fooled everyone else into assuring me otherwise. But. It's concrete evidence. I can only hope I've been as objective as possible in other areas, but people have seen the conversation that laid out what it was claimed I had done, and seen the posts that were deemed so offensive. Not one person can make any more sense of it than I can. Surely, occam's razor would suggest that the wide range of opinions I gathered are most likely sound and the friends I lost simply so convinced of their misassumptions, than that I lied to them and myself for months, am so masterfully manipulative as to have fooled people into taking my side - by showing them hard evidence from which to make their judgments - and that the incessant confusion and search for a way to make sense of the experience is no more than me refusing to accept the truth that I am in fact a terrible person who deserved what I got.

And of course, people are entitled to their feelings. Though I did call out my own paranoia as I did it, I expressed a lot of anger towards my metamour and it would be understandable to be hurt. Though I deliberately distanced myself after our breakup for the specific purpose of preventing myself from expressing such feelings to her, the longing I felt towards my ex at that time was very intense and it would be understandable to be uncomfortable. And if ending their friendships with me was the course of action that was right for them, I can't argue otherwise. But it feels so very extreme, so disproportionate to me and every person I've spoken to. So hard to believe that that could be it. I was reckless in how I expressed my emotions, but it was someone else's choice to knowingly share my words outside their intended audience that resulted in my ex and metamour getting hurt. There's nothing wrong with having and venting emotions and I rightly discerned when I was not ready to express them directly. So why was all the blame placed entirely on me? But additionally, beyond the factual possible transgressions, the bulk of what was treated as justification was outright false. Some of it in direct contradiction to conversations we had already had. So why were they so, so completely determined not to let me speak the truth? They cut me out of their lives entirely, my ex doing it even without any explanation from her. After criticizing my choice to express my emotions about them vaguely to an audience of strangers to them, minus that one mutual friend - and there's nothing wrong with trusting one friend to listen - they quietly spread the assumptions they had made throughout our social circle, as if they were fact. Overnight I lost all of them. Entitled to their emotions and to make their own choices about the relationships they wanted with me based on factual information, they are. To build a narrative off misinformation, refuse to confirm their beliefs, and pass on that narrative to the end that I was isolated like that? To inflict such an incredible amount of pain without ever trying to address your concerns head on? I don't know that I will ever understand how they could do it. Certainly, I cannot understand living with the decision.

And so here I am, ten entire months later, still finding the time to be upset. Of course it would come so strongly now - how could I enjoy the excitement of my favorite artist dropping a surprise ska album yesterday without thinking of how much I miss the person I would have loved most to share that excitement with? Surely some people would have written them all off by now, knowing they chose to do what they did and stand by it. I simply believe too fiercely in the best in people to resign myself to that. I've made attempts to right things that went unanswered, and still I find the belief unshakeable, that there is some prefect way to explain this that could wash it all into our pasts. And so I sit with the feelings of powerlessness, frustration, confusion, with this ostensibly foolish hope that a day will come when we can resolve this, together. It feels so certain that such an extreme response could only have been justifiable to them on the basis that I said and felt these things I know I didn't, and all it would take to fix it all would be to actually be heard. And granted, I already attempted as much with my metamour and it was not met receptively. But I never had that opportunity with my ex, and maybe I'm simply giving her too much credit, but I can't keep myself from believing that this is so out of character for her that there must be a way to put things right. I struggle to at times, but I know at this point I have every reason to trust my assessments, having poured so much effort over so long into examining every possible angle to this situation. Which I'm sure may be unwarranted in some people's minds. But how could I not? Is it not human to try desperately to make sense of that which is beyond our understanding? Certainly the simpler route would indeed be writing them off. I'd rather take the harder route if it's the one that offers more compassion and grace to everyone involved. The unfortunate thing is that knowing them and the experiences they've had in their lives, I really would have expected the same from them. And I guess that's really the key to it in the end. I will take that harder route every time that I can. I can't understand why anyone wouldn't do that for someone they loved. It's only natural then, I suppose, that I'm left hurting so much even now. I just wish I mattered enough to them to set things right.

And, yes, I do recognize the irony in venting publicly about a matter that was predicated on taking issue with me venting publicly. But while I've learned to be more discerning about what I say and where, I have no qualms expressing things I'd readily say to someone directly. In all honesty, I'd rather like if they read it, hoping it could have an impact.

[makerofmadness]

What's with Balloon Boy and the Daycare Attendant?

The Balloon World arcade machine exists, it's in the DA's room and both characters are involved in it. It's probably one of the most cryptic minigames in the FNAF series as a whole, but while we could ponder what exactly it's supposed to mean (maybe I'll do that for all the security breach minigames eventually), the main question I have is this:

WHY Balloon Boy specifically? Why is the minigame about HIM?

Is there a connection between the two characters? Or was it a completely random decision?

Out of nowhere, thinking about Balloon World, I came to a realization:

The Lights.

Balloon Boy's entire gimmick in FNAF 2 was that if he got into your office, he would disable your flashlight and vent lights (...somehow. I know we all make the jokes about him taking the batteries [and then that FNAF 57: Freddy In Space thing in FNAF World said he just straight-up steals your entire flashlight], but you never see the battery icon disappear or appear empty in FNAF 2 itself when he gets into your office. And the vent lights also stop working, so unless they also operate on batteries, then... does he actually take them from you?).

What's the one rule in the daycare?

Keep the lights on.

His mechanic is the antithesis to what Sun wants and exactly what Moon would want. Balloon Boy doesn't keep the lights on. He prevents you from turning them on at all.

(which also makes me kinda sad there wasn't a Glamrock version of BB. Then again, I don't know how exactly he would've uniquely affected like anything. Regardless I am hoping for the day someone in the fandom makes a glamrock bb who is arch-enemies with sun and gets along well with moon skseijdndndnd-)

It feels kinda obvious and I'm guessing I'm not the only person to think about this, but I have never seen anyone else bring this up. Not on YouTube, not on tumblr, nowhere. Maybe if I go looking for it I'll see, but i'm surprised I haven't bumped into anyone else saying this just naturally. I go into the BB tags a LOT, surely SOMEONE would've said something, right? I don't even see it noted in the trivia on the page for the arcade game on the fnaf wiki.

...but is this supposed to mean anything? Or is it just a cute little reference or callback? it's hard to say, especially with how ambiguous the minigame is.

Though I DID think of ONE thing... (possible minor spoilers for Ruin under the cut):

Saw this pointed out in a youtube video that the BB World screen (with Eclipse, who makes their proper debut in Ruin after effectively being foreshadowed by the minigame in SB's base game) can be seen on the ceiling in the DA's room. Which makes sense, obviously, but also take note of the pirate-themed windows in the hallway leading to it.

...now, which character do most of us tend to associate with Balloon Boy? His "tag-team partner," of sorts?

Foxy. The Pirate.

With this, I found that there's more Foxy-related stuff associated with the daycare area than I had previously realized because I had never made any connections before. I mean, Kids' Cove is directly linked to it for god's sake.

Like. I hope i haven't forgotten to mention anything (I've been writing this post over the course of hours 'Cus I had stuff to do in the middle of it all). My brain's kinda starting to fry. But basically: Was Foxy originally meant to be the Daycare Attendant, in-universe? Was there gonna be a Glamrock Balloon Boy with him, like as his first mate or something??? Were they gonna be connected to Fazbear Theater????? (Uh basically Sun/Moon to my knowledge from confirmation in the books and a lot of more subtle implications in-game mainly involving environmental pieces were originally meant to be in the Fazbear Theater as a stage animatronic but got moved to daycare duty instead and being reprogrammed. Which actually explains a lot about them when you think about it-)

Like. Ok I'm forgetting where I was going with this, I'm sorry, but I guess it's food for thought/adds to the weird connections between DA and BB, I guess. Idk. I can't focus that well right now to keep making new ideas.

felt like sharing my interpretation of the Balloon World minigame itself at least since earlier I did kinda finally get it down concretely:

I kinda developed a theory that Eclipse is Sun/Moon's "safe mode" and that rebooting DA reactivated Eclipse as a result. Like, they're their own AI that was at one point implemented. but then Vanny happened and locked them out thanks to the whole Glitchtrap virus thing (albeit it only seemed to reach Moon, while Sun remains seemingly unaffected. Guessing it's because they're different AIs [finally implied/basically confirmed by their Ruin dialogue). Eclipse has seemingly not been active for some time, or at least never post-pizzaplex closure, given how they're seemingly completely oblivious to the fact that this place is closed with no signs of opening.

So the minigame was foreshadowing Eclipse's existence and implying their "trapped" nature, which also could be seen as paralleling Vanessa's whole "Vanny" situation, especially given how iirc one of the messages related to princess quest can be found near the arcade machine.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: Are you warm enough? Jac: 🧣🤗🧤🤗🧥 Savannah: No but that's a total secret, okay? I can't cope with the others judging me for trying to look nice Jac: I'll never tell Jac: [subtly getting her a blanket or something though, obviously] Jac: no one can come for your look 😍 Savannah: [you know we're snuggling under this blanket together because shameless excuse to be close af] Savannah: oh I see, you're trying to warm me up by making me 😳 it's fine that can be our secret too Jac: [would be so 😳 forreal] Jac: you can blame the 🔥 Savannah: [putting her head on the bae's shoulder like we're not already close enough and doing a little happy sigh] Savannah: but your compliments deserve full credit, anything else would be unfair Jac: [patting her head under the guise of checking out the boujee hat] Jac: your outfit arguably deserves a higher class of event but I'm still glad you're here Savannah: [doing a hat swap because we do so love sharing clothes with the bae and it's amusing as well as a shameless excuse to check her out like hmm what do we think] Savannah: I'm glad I'm here too Jac: It would be weird if you weren't Jac: I'm as close to you as my siblings now Jac: in a different way, obviously but still Savannah: [swapping the hats back because the bae is serving a look and also then we have to fix her hair and make that a moment™ soz Amelia for this blatant flirting you are witnessing rn] Savannah: I feel so at home here, with you Jac: [when you think the bae is perfect so you can't even pretend to sort her hair, so you end up fussing with your own after her like ugh it's so unruly but we're 🥰 and seriously soz have a more or something] Jac: You are Jac: you're always welcome, even when we're celebrating weird non-holiday holidays Savannah: [just giving her all the compliments out loud because we see that fussy and also we don't care who hears us, again soz Amelia and snuggling again] Savannah: I'd make you the same offer in a heartbeat if I felt welcome at my house Jac: [snuggling her extra hard for a hot sec there] Jac: I know, baby Savannah: [likewise and just burying our face in the bae's shoulder fully because emotions and doing a little sad sigh this time] Jac: [doing something to make her happy, probably posting the picture of her for example] Savannah: [giving her all the compliments again because that is a good picture tbh gal you clearly have skills but then because I'm evil I'm gonna say your bf sees it and so you're texting him forever while he's with his friends doing whatever] Jac: [at least you have an excuse to get up, like your other guests lol] Savannah: [just gotta do something extra as she's getting up like take her hand and make her do a little spin or something cos you're a nerd and we know you care more about this than whatever your bf is saying] Jac: don't faint Savannah: catch me & it won't be an issue Jac: I don't need to tell you it's dangerous to play near or with 🔥 Savannah: [as close to a LOOK as we can get away with] Jac: 😈 Savannah: he wants to see me, like, right now Savannah: but I don't think he's offering a higher class of event Jac: 😏 and obviously, you have to make him sweat it out a bit Jac: right? Savannah: all night at least Jac: Poor Ty Savannah: Do you think I'm being too 😈? Jac: not enough, if anything Savannah: oh really, well I hate that Jac: I'm sure it'll do the job on Ty Jac: but I think you could do better Savannah: of course I could, especially if the alternative means disappointing you Savannah: I don't ever want to Jac: It's very unlikely that you could Savannah: It's impossible, I promise Jac: Don't worry, it wasn't a challenge Savannah: I'm not worried if it is, I'll rise to it for you Jac: 🌠🌠🌠 Jac: I am going to have to challenge my brother not to be that basic white boy who brings out an acoustic 'round the campfire, excuse me 🙄😅 Savannah: 😄 Savannah: as long as Isabelle doesn't decide to sing along, because it'll be a challenge for me to sit through that Jac: 😬 Jac: she ALWAYS gets the words wrong! Jac: I think she might be partially deaf Savannah: you would know Savannah: it's a shame she's HOPELESS at sign language Jac: honestly, she'd need to do some brain training first Jac: bless her Savannah: I'm still waiting for you to teach me, maybe I'll be worse than she is Jac: [gutted you can't say gay things 'cos most people here can understand but you can still come teach her] Savannah: [Amelia do be watching you and she definitely can] Savannah: [Jude would also just be chiming in telling Savannah what she's doing wrong like a blunt bitch so now we're mortified because we have to be good at everything] Jac: [just showing her how to tell Jude to fuck off or something like excuse you] Savannah: [literally never swears because she's that kind of trying to be classy so you've been spared gal but we're not forgetting that you made us look a fool] Jac: She literally couldn't tie her own shoes 'til like last year Jac: I wouldn't spend any energy on her Savannah: it's fine, I'd rather know my mistakes Jac: She knows it's as rude to listen in on a sign conversation as it is a normal one Jac: honestly, I don't know where her manners have gone half the time Savannah: I'll have to get better now so we can have a conversation worth listening in on Jac: I'll show you properly Jac: when we have some privacy Savannah: you can come home with me, we'll have plenty of privacy if we leave here late enough Jac: You're really gonna make him wait then Jac: 😘 Savannah: he'll be too drunk to be any use to me once his friends are done with him Savannah: & anyway, I want to be with you Jac: Good Jac: of course I'll come Savannah: I feel like I haven't even seen you since Ty & I reconciled, I've really missed you Jac: he had a lot he had to make up for Jac: so I've missed you more Savannah: [touching that necklace he gave us without realising we're doing it as we recall that horrible argument] Savannah: I'm all yours now Jac: Good Jac: because we're both going to need really long 🛀 to get the smoke smell out of our hair Savannah: ugh true! I'll wash yours if you wash mine Jac: 100% Jac: and would you ever trust a boy with your hair, no matter how sorry he is Savannah: No way! Savannah: plus he's too tall to fit in the 🛁 with me, even the huge one at my house Savannah: he'd just sulk the entire time Savannah: I'm so sorry I'm taller than the other girl you dated Jac: the basketball boys always go out with tiny girls Jac: it's like their thing Jac: so weird Savannah: right? 🙄 Savannah: it's a totally possessive thing, I'm glad you can't stand over me to feel powerful, excuse me Jac: honestly Jac: people always talk about short guy's complexes but tall lads think they're so superior just for having a few inches, okay we get what you're trying to put out and it ain't cute Savannah: exactly Savannah: & if picking me up & throwing me around is SUCH a turn on for you, work at it 💪🏾 I have to put in effort to look good too Jac: Not about it Savannah: Ty isn't either, he's the gentlest boy in the world Jac: Yeah he is Savannah: maybe too gentle sometimes, but I didn't say so Jac: I get it Jac: you don't have to think he's perfect just because you're going out with him Savannah: he definitely doesn't think I am Jac: he's got no complaints though Savannah: for now, I suppose Jac: he told me, you saw Jac: he thinks you're good, if not perfect Savannah: he doesn't want to lose me Jac: he's not stupid Savannah: ^^ he'll say anything, that's what boys do Jac: yeah Jac: how much they mean is a different story Savannah: my dad's never meant a single word he's said to us Jac: even if he meant it at the time Jac: he didn't stick to his word, and that's what counts Savannah: yes, it is Jac: Ty's dependable Savannah: I'm not though, I'm a wreck Jac: hey Jac: [looks at her and shakes her head like no] Jac: do you want to go inside for a bit? we can be getting more food and drinks or whatever Savannah: okay Jac: [casually run off hand in hand so you can go properly talk about this] Savannah: [soz not soz everyone] Jac: [also said your garden would not be that big so probably gonna need to go upstairs or down so everyone's not just 👀 lol] Savannah: [get in the basement for that parallel] Jac: [sounds creepy but yes lol, go forth for that privacy hens] Savannah: [yet again we're just telling the bae stuff that we haven't told anyone including our bf #bonding] Jac: [we know the fucking vibes, y'all gonna be ages and do not care remotely] Savannah: [gotta fix Savannah's makeup for her to because she'll have done a little cry so that's gay & intimate] Jac: [honestly how this kiss doesn't happen sooner hun] Savannah: [that's the scolding hot tea] Jac: [casual patience of a saint somehow] Savannah: [we both know you're scared to cross that line hens] Jac: [mhmm how you just don't though when the tension is this high and obvious but you know, sort yourselves out] Savannah: [for now though go back outside to find Amelia has left] Jac: how rude Savannah: Do you have any messages from her? Jac: she told them she was feeling sick Jac: but she's not said anything more than that in a message either Savannah: one of her migraines? Jac: probably Jac: smoke can be a trigger, I guess Jac: oh well, I'll message her in the group chat, make sure she's okay Savannah: I hope she got home okay Savannah: it was a bit rude of Is not to go with her & make sure Jac: ^^ I'm like, girl Jac: you've had THREE hot dogs Jac: you could've done without the last one to be a better friend but priorities, I suppose Savannah: ^^ she could've at least come & got us so we could do the right thing if she wasn't going to Jac: Seriously Jac: now I look lowkey bad like thanks 🙄 Savannah: No, it's my fault Savannah: I feel bad, poor Amelia Jac: Oh my God, no, it's so not your fault Savannah: it's okay, I know I'm beyond demanding Jac: You aren't Jac: She just has a headache Jac: you're actually going through it right now Jac: you deserve time to vent Savannah: 😔 Savannah: but I do understand if you're upset with me Jac: I'm not, at all Jac: just at Is a bit for not handling the whole situation properly Savannah: Would you like me to talk to her? Jac: That's fine, we don't need to get into their drama Jac: it's like, not a situation and not going to be one because Is either wants it to be or is literally too ditzy to check in on Amelia herself without being explicitly told Savannah: You're right Savannah: you deserve a good night even if it is a fake holiday Jac: I'm having a good night with you Savannah: Oh please, I can do better Savannah: I've been crying for most of it Savannah: [proves it by doing the most, throwing ourselves into all the activities and thus the bae as well] Savannah: [I like to imagine poor Isabelle trying to get involved & we're just subtly not having it] Jac: [montage time, honestly Is you would've been better to leave too, at least the fam is here so you aren't being totally ignored lol] Savannah: [soz that we're just falling in love here] Jac: [literally can't help it sorry they don't mean the harm they casually do] Savannah: now you're having a good night Jac: an even better one, yeah Savannah: I'll be your 🌠 Savannah: anything you want, all you have to do is whisper it to me & I'll make sure it comes true Jac: Tinkerbell's got nothing on you Savannah: your happiness is so important to me, with or without the 👏🏾 Jac: you know I'd do anything for you too Jac: I feel like I should do more Jac: be better Savannah: you do more for me than anyone else EVER has, if you did more you'd be putting your own mental health & wellbeing at risk for the sake of mine Savannah: I'm not trying to be a drain of you like Is, who literally needs her hand held through every little thing Jac: I know, you're just so good to me Jac: but you're good FOR me too Savannah: I'm not always this selfish, I swear Jac: you're literally the most selfless Jac: all you do is look after Sienna and you're the best friend to me and girlfriend to Ty Jac: it hurts my heart sometimes Jac: I just wanna take care of you and make your life so easy you can thrive and shine Savannah: You're going to make me cry again Savannah: [IRL 🥺 because the bae is so pure & genuinely takes such good care of us] Savannah: I'll survive this & you'll see what I'm actually like without all this drama surrounding me Savannah: I really will be the best friend to you forever Jac: [we're such emotional bitches atm and always tbh hennys] Jac: I know you will, you're already amazing Jac: you're going to be unstoppable Jac: and I'm gonna be right there with you Savannah: [it's the only emotion we can safely express rn because smooching is forbidden] Savannah: I'm totally fine with doing trust falls Savannah: you know I believe in you & our future together Jac: 🌍 sister connection Jac: [because we are all earth signs except Amelia soz gal] Savannah: ^^ yes! Savannah: [take your bae to dance because it's a party and that's the only excuse we need] Jac: [bye at how much of a moment that'd be] Savannah: [literally there's every chance it's the first time they have because her bf would always be there at parties and stuff so I'm deceased] Jac: [we know you'd have no qualms stealing her away but a party with loads of peers is different from how intimate this is, at best everyone has a few friends] Savannah: [exactly that, so glad you don't have to see this Amelia you really would have a headache] Jac: [yeah this would be 💔] Savannah: [thank god we've got Isabelle cockblocking rn because y'all are too in love tbh] Jac: [just joins in 'cos not in love with you and thus oblivious] Savannah: [they'd be so annoyed lol] Jac: [lmao oh isabelle] Savannah: [go get some drinks or something gals and whisper shade to each other about this poor third wheel because any excuse to keep that intimacy going] Jac: [it's a good thing you are lowkey oblivious or you'd be way more upset by it all too] Savannah: [god bless you Isabelle, so soz you get done so dirty] Jac: [in the end you live your best life, just not being friends with this squad lol] Savannah: [the best thing for you is getting new friends my love, but for now I like to imagine she's talking to them about some boy or other, remember those you massive gays] Jac: 😬 him Jac: seriously?!? Savannah: What is she thinking of? & more importantly, what part of her body is leading her in those thoughts Jac: 😷 I can't Jac: so many cold showers necessary for her and honestly just some 🧼 for him Savannah: He asked me out, knowing full well I'm not single or interested, it was horrific Jac: the definition of no shame Savannah: I didn't know what to do Jac: I bet you didn't Jac: the actual nerve Savannah: Not to sound like Amelia, but I genuinely have no understanding of what she approves of or thinks we'll approve of about most of the boys she talks about Jac: Availability? Jac: like, imagine that was all a boy had to say about you Savannah: that's so sad Jac: like if they weren't so gross themselves, I'd feel sorry for them Savannah: I've just decided, I'm going to find her a boyfriend we can all stand to be around, Ty'll know someone Savannah: it'll give you a much needed break from how clingy she is & my heart won't hurt anymore from hearing her talk like this about boys who aren't worthy Jac: Such a nice idea 👼🏾 Jac: does he know anyone that will deal with her though Jac: she's a lot Savannah: It may not be an overnight success but I'll work my 🔮✨ Jac: I believe in nothing harder than I believe in your magic Savannah: I'm your girl too, just like you told Ty, of course you have faith in me & because you do, I feel so capable of anything 🥰 Jac: It had to be said Jac: like we said, the possessive thing, not it Jac: you're you and you're so many things to so many people, and you're especially important to me Jac: if he wants you, he's gotta accept that Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I love you & you're always going to be part of my life, I hope he is too, obviously but there's none of that uncertainty with you, you are & you will be Jac: Right, romantic relationships are arguably almost always the least secure, that's just realistic Jac: ask any girl who ditches ALL her friends and then gets dumped Savannah: oh god, I could NEVER Savannah: I need you Jac: The concession they must make in their lives, like, who do you talk to about the stuff he has no interest in, who gives you advice from a woman's perspective??? Jac: so toxic Savannah: He & I have very different styles of self care, I'm sorry I simply would not survive Jac: 🏋️ is part of the daily grind, NOT a way to unwind, sorry Ty Savannah: 😄 Savannah: Don't worry, I promise I won't wake you as early tomorrow for our workout Jac: I'm not, I nearly ALWAYS wake up before you Jac: but that's okay, you look adorable and very peaceful 😴😘 Savannah: well it takes me longer to fall asleep Savannah: you look even more adorable & peaceful then 👼🏻☁ Jac: okay, so we're even 😅 Savannah: the universe is keeping everything in balance for us Savannah: I love that Jac: I know, right? Jac: if we had a 👶🏾 or a job share we'd be KILLING it Savannah: 🥺 you're going to have the cutest babies ever! Jac: 🤞 the dad's DNA doesn't screw that up Savannah: No way, we'll find you someone perfect Jac: I have more hope for Uni Savannah: you don't trust my matchmaking skills? Jac: No, no Jac: just the boys you have to choose from here 😬😂 Savannah: 😄You're right, an LDR makes much more sense for you & I wouldn't have to share you as often Savannah: I'll find you a first year uni boy who goes to school with Ty's brother Jac: You think so? Savannah: definitely, he'll fit into your schedule without wanting to become your schedule Savannah: & you may actually be able to have & sustain a proper conversation, depending what he studies Jac: you really do have the best ideas Jac: Obviously down Savannah: [immediately starts sending her pics and profiles because we're extra] Savannah: Let me know who you like & I'll totally make it happen Jac: I'll look properly tonight at yours Jac: [like no, Isabelle, you may not have more than a peep so you're #curious] Savannah: there's no rush, whenever you're ready Jac: 😍😍 Savannah: [snuggling again with our IRL 😍 because we're in love bitch] Savannah: [Savannah is just that touchy feely hoe like soz gal she's gonna just be touching you ALL THE TIME] Jac: [at least you'd have to vaguely get used to it or literally die haha, we know the 😍 are and will be for you but we'll pretend to be into these lads so we can scheme it together] Savannah: [we've since the pics you had a touchy feely vibe with Amelia too, even if it was more like hugs and piggy backs lol you can do this] Jac: [mhmm, arguably you can't but you carry it on for a long time lol]