#This wasn't a planned separate thing but I just
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straylightdream · 1 day ago
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so it goes…
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𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: wen junhui x camgirl! f.reader
↳ Getting caught up in a moment. Lipstick on your face, so it goes. I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose.
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non idol au
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.6k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, camgirl reader, kind of anonymous camboy jun, smut warning below the cut
an: this was inspired by the song so it goes.. by taylor swift. This another one of my stories inspired by reputation songs. This can be read as a one shot but these guys and there friends are mention in a series of loosely connected stories called all for you
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
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𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex(mc is on birth control), camgirl reader, creampie, snowballing?? kind of anonymous camboy jun, dirty talk, oral (male rec), recording sexual acts, fingering & handjobs, thigh riding, masturbation, nicknames: (hers) baby, baby girl, (his) baby,
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Long before you even met Junhui you heard about him frequently from your friend from college friend. You and her had grown closer in the last year when she took up being a cam girl just like you. Your life as a cam girl wasn’t planned but down on your luck you had heard plenty of girls talk about how they make bank off of it so you decided to give it a try. After a month and half of doing it you were making so much money you didn’t bother looking back. Your online persona “cherrybby” was something you tried to keep separate from your everyday life.
You weren’t ashamed of your career path by any means. You would prefer that close family don’t know and you don’t normally tell new friends about your job until you're comfortable. The only downside of your career is dating. You’ve been a cam girl for three years and hadn’t even been on one date. Your sex life consists of pleasuring yourself on camera. You don’t know the last time a man had touched you.
On a random Monday afternoon you were having lunch with your friend kitten who is now a cam girl. She telling you all about how her boyfriend Joshua gets off on being in the room while she films. You can’t help but be envious that she’s able to have a stable relationship and this career.
“Have you gone out with anyone recently?” She asked.
A soft chuckle passes your lips, “I haven’t had sex with a man once since I started this job.”
“Would you be interested in dating someone?” You know that she has a large group of friends and you’ve met a few of the boys and they’re all extremely good looking.
“I feel like if I go on a date with someone they need to know even before dating me about my job,” you sigh.
“I have a friend named Junhui. He’s like only one of my only friends I told about my job after Shua found out.”
“Have I met him before?” You’re trying to remember all the boys you met the one time you met her at the bar.
“No you haven’t. Junhui isn’t going to judge you for your job. He’s a really nice guy, he’s really hard working. He’s one of those nine to five guys who wears a suit to work everyday and works in an office.”
She was right he didn’t judge you for your career. Kitten managed to set you up with Junhui a week after you had lunch. He took you out to dinner and a movie. You asked him if he would be okay with your job and he told you he’s fine with it. He told you he respected you for how hard you worked to make money. The one downside to him was, he let you know he wasn't able to be in a super serious relationship but he definitely wanted to date. You took that as you were going to be together but you weren’t going to put a label on it right away.
-
It’s been four months and in your mind Junhui is your boyfriend even though you’ve never had the talk about labels. You learned very early on that Junhui has a thing for appearing in your videos but remaining anonymous. He often wears a face mask and makes sure you only see him from the neck down. He’s never taken his clothes off on camera. He has no problem fingering you until you’re practically screaming or playing with you or using toys on you.
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed with you straddling his strong thigh. He’s dressed in business attire coming over straight from work. He’s wearing tight slacks, and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up showing the veins in his arms.
He always tries to see you before you go live. He made a joke about you riding his thigh and the next thing you knew he has you naked with your camera on. Your lips are painted a cherry color as your leave lipstick stains across the column of his neck. You grind your hips against this thigh getting the friction you desperately need.
It’s a blessing you live alone so you can be as loud as you need. Your fingers cling to his white dress shirt, rubbing yourself against his thigh harder.
“Fuck,” he softly moans. His hands grip your add helping you grind against him.
As you fall apart it takes everything not to moan his name. You instead opt for moaning, “baby” your name you only refer to him as on camera.
After you finish your stream you lay on your bed completely naked watching as Junhui stands next to the bed staring down at you. He’s fixing his tie that you had been holding on to as your orgasm washed over. “I wanted to suck the life out of you on camera.” You desperately want to give him head on camera or have him fuck you, but that’s against one of the only boundaries you have both set when it came to your streams. He wanted to remain fully anonymous and he didn’t want to be naked on your streaks.
He chuckles, “you can do it now off camera.”
“I thought you had to meet Seungcheol, Minghao, and Joshua at the bar?” You know he doesn’t have time for that.
“They can wait.” He unbuckles his belt.
“I shouldn’t make you late again,” you sit up slowly.
“Why don’t you come with me?” He pushes his dress pants and boxers down his strong thighs.
“It sounds like it’s a boys night.” He crawls onto the bed and strokes himself as he watches you crawl towards him.
He shakes his head, “it’s not, some of the boys are bringing their girlfriends. Shau is bringing Kitten, and Seungcheol is bringing Darling. Jihoon might also swing by and if he does his girlfriend might be with him.”
You lay on your stomach in front of him. You watch as he strokes his hardened length.
“Are you sure you want me to go?” You’re still always a little awkward when you go on outings with him.
“Yes I’m sure. Now are you going to suck me off like you desperately wanted to do?”
You can’t help but smile before you take over stroking him. He watched you with lust filled eyes. You slowly lick his sensitive head as you stroke him. “Are you going to tease me?” Hollowing your cheeks you take him into your mouth as far as he can go. The moans that pass his lips are absolutely intoxicating.
His fingers thread your hair pulling your hair away from your face.
“Fuck you’re so good at this,” he moans.
It doesn’t take long before he falls apart moaning your name. You hold him in your mouth swallowing every last drop of his release.
He pulls you up to him so you’re sitting on his lap. “I can’t get enough of you.” He crashes his lips into your not caring that he can taste his one cum on your tongue.
-
Leaning against the bar, he stares at you intently watching as you’re talking to Minghao and Kitten. You can feel his eyes burning into you. It’s intoxicating knowing that you’re the only thing he can focus on.
“You know I’ve never seen him so fascinated by a girl,” his roommate Minghao says.
“Seems like Junnie is down bad for you,” Kitten says smiling. He’s not the only one who is down bad. You’ve been seeing him for four months and it’s safe to say you are very in love with him. The problem is he hasn’t labeled your relationship and hasn’t mentioned being in love with you. “You know before you Junhui was so focused on work he never had time to date or go out. Since he started seeing you he's been more social again.”
“My dear roommate Junnie isn’t great with commitment. He never has been, he seems different with you.” You hope that means that he plans on defining your relationship soon.
“He’s the first guy I have dated in years and honestly I really love being with him. He’s kinda perfect for me.” Junhui is everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. There is something special about the fact he’s so accepting about your career. Whatever you do Junhui doesn’t judge you.
“I’m lucky you introduced me to him,” you give Kitten a smile.
Joshua comes over wrapping his arms around her waist like pulling her back for a kiss.
Looking over at Junhui you give him a come hither look. Pushing himself off the bar he excuses himself from his conversation with Seungcheol. He comes over taking your hand in his. Placing a gentle kiss on the top of your hand. You lean in close to him and instantly feel a warmth take over you at being close to him.
“Can I spend the night at your place?” He asked.
“Of course.” You love when he spends the night. Your place gives you more privacy since you don’t have roommates.
You spend the night talking to Junhui friend’s who you now consider your own friends and when ten o’clock rolls around Junhui uses this as his opportunity to tell everyone he’s tired and needs to go to bed. Taking you by the hand he leads you out of the bar. The moment you’re in his car his hand is on your thigh telling you he can’t wait to have you naked.
The moment he walks into your apartments he drags you off to your room. With little effort he has you naked.
He has you on your side with your leg hooked over his arm as he stuffs your tight pussy full with each slow thrust from behind. Your hand reaches behind you, tangling your fingers in his hair. He leaves a trail of kisses across your shoulder. Definitely leaving bruises in his path. You adore how intimate this whole thing is between you. You don’t feel the need to try and come off as sexy. You can just be yourself and enjoy the way he’s making you feel.
“Baby-“ he moans in your ear.
He knows all the ways to make you fall apart.
“Rub your clit.”
Silently you follow his instructions. The coil in your stomach tightens as you’re close to falling apart.
As a white hot wave washes over you, you hold back desperately wanting to admit you love him.
-
It’s been two weeks since you went to the bar with Junhui and his friends. In those two weeks you’ve realized that you are indeed very much in love with him. He’s been super busy at work so you haven’t gotten to see him as much as normal. That doesn’t stop you from talking on the phone daily and even stealing a few minutes alone when you can.
You're making yourself a little snack before you go live. You’re already in your lingerie you plan on wearing. Dressed in a sheer blush colored bra that does nothing to cover your nipples and a pair of crotchless matching panties.
Your front door opens and you peek your head out of the kitchen to see Junhui walking in. He’s dressed in his normal business attire he wears to work. You didn’t plan on seeing him today. He had mentioned he had dinner plans with some of the boys.
“Hi baby,” he smiles, walking towards you. “I see I found you in your work clothes.”
“I was going to stream soon.”
“You look mouth watering,” he walks toward you. He backs you up until your butt hits the kitchen table. “Am I allowed to play with you before you go online?” If he’s asking to play with you off camera, you know that definitely means he wants to be naked with you. He just doesn’t want to toy with you while others watch.
You give him a playful pout, “you know I can’t say no to you.”
Without a word he picks you up, sitting you on the edge of the kitchen table. He stands between your legs. You tugs on his tie pulling him closer to you. “You didn’t go home after work?”
“Why would I?” He cocks his head to the side. “Especially when you’re walking around looking like this?”
“I thought you had dinner plans with Minghao, and Jeonghan?” You originally planned on streaming tonight, but you would much rather spend time with him.
“I told them something came up.”
“What came up?” Leaning forward you press your cherry painted lips against the collar of his crisp white shirt.
“I thought you might want me to stream with you.”
“Are you sure it’s just not because you wanted to see me?” You reply pulling back to look at him with doe eyes. Tugging on his tie pulling him closer to you. “can you tell me you missed me?”
“Baby I always miss you,” he smiles.
“I don’t want to go live I want you to fuck me instead.”
He doesn’t say anything, he just picks you up and carries you off to your bedroom. He tosses you on the bed with a smirk across his face.
“Baby did you want to film me fucking you?” He unbuttons his shirt.
“I thought you didn’t want to stream with your clothes off?”
“How about you film us and we can decide if you post it,” he reaches for your camera that’s sitting on your dresser.
“Okay,” you smiled.
Laying on the bed he sets up the camera and hits record. Sitting on your knees in the middle of the bed you watch as he slowly unbuttons his dress shirts. “You look so pretty sitting there watching me.”
“You’re just so pretty,” you smile.
Tossing his dress shirt on the floor he unbuckled his pants. “Can I take them off?” You asked?
“Anything you want pretty.” Crawling off the bed you move to your knees in front of him. You unbuttoned his pants and pushed them and his boxers down his strong thighs. His already hard cock slaps against his stomach. There is something thrilling about doing all this while you’re being recorded. You take him in your hands, bring his red tip to your lips. You kitten lick the tip earning a groan from him. “Are you going to tease me baby?” You don’t respond you look up him with doe eyes as you take him as far in your mouth as he can go. His fingers tangled in your hair holding it back from your face.
“Fuck I love you mouth,” he moans as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head. You’ve always found joy in giving him head. You love the noises he’s makes and you like that you can read him like a book when you have him like this.
“Baby I’m gonna cum in your mouth if you don’t stop right now.” Pulling off you release him with a pop.
He stares down at you for a moment looking like he’s on the brink of insanity. He reaches down, helping you stand up. He drags thumb across your bottom lip, swiping some of his precum and your spit. Parting your lips he places his thumb in your mouth. Sucking gently as you stare at him.
“How do you want me?” You asked.
“I want you to spread out for me.”
Laying the bed still dressed in your crotchless panties, he's sitting back on his knees. He’s running his cock through your fold. You gasp as his bulbous head nudges your sensitive clit. “You’re so wet.”
“It’s always for you-“
He pushes into you slowly. “Spread your legs for me more,” he sighs.
The whole time he’s thrusting into you, he kisses his way across your skin. He sucks on your nipple earning a wanton moan.
The whole time you're filming his eyes never leave yours. He watches you with this loving stare. This isn’t some lust filled haze he normally has. When he finally pushes you over the edge you don’t think you have ever cum that hard in your life.
“Where did you want me to finish?” He asked if his thrust started to grow sloppier.
“Inside,” you beg.
“I’m gonna fill you up,” he moans. He paints your walls white and he fills you with thick ropes of his cum. He stops moving and stares at you for a moment before saying “you’re so fucking perfect.”
He doesn’t realize that you think he’s your whole entire world.
-
Junhui finally has a day off and his one goal for the day was to spend time with you. He spent the night and loved being able to wake up in bed with you. You morning cuddle session turned into slow passionate morning sex where Junhui had you laying in your stomach with a pillow under your hips. He loved finding any position he can to fuck you from behind.
You’ve spent the day just enjoying each other's company. He planned on having a lazy night in, but forgot about the little gathering at Wonwoo and his girlfriend's place.
“Can you go with me to dinner at Wonwoo and honey’s place?” He says setting his phone down.
You glance up at him from your spot on the couch. “Sure who is all going?”
“Shau and kitten, Seungcheol and darling, Soonyoung and sweetie, Jihoon and ruby.”’ You realize instantly this is a dinner for most of the couples in the friend group.
“Hao and Hannie aren’t coming?”
“No, they are both busy.”
“Sure.”
Arriving at your friend's apartment you can’t help but feel a little strange that it’s all just couples. As the night goes on everyone is hanging out and you can’t help but focus on how each of the couples interact together. You’re reminded that from the outside looking in people must assume Junhui is your boyfriend. He’s spent most the night touching you in one way or another. Towards the end of the night you notice he’s kind of gone cold. He suddenly seems distant to everyone. He’s standing in the kitchen by himself getting a glass of wine water when you walk in.
“You okay Jun?”
He stares at you with his eyebrows knit together for a long moment before closing the distance between you. He cradles your face in his hands as he crashes his lips into yours.
“I want to get out of here,” he whispers against your lips.
“Okay we can leave.”
The car ride back to your place feels weird. Something seems off about him but you can’t figure out what.
Walking into your apartment the moment the door is shut he pushes you up against your wooden door. His finger tangles in your hair while he kisses you like he needs you to breathe. Pulling away from you for a moment he whispers your name before his hand roam your body. Pushing your dress off, he tugs on your underwear pulling them down your legs.
He seems like he’s desperate for you. Normally you would play along but you can’t figure out why this all feels so off.
His finger dip between your folds earning a moan. His eyes look empty as they stare at you for the first time. Suddenly it feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on you.
“Jun-“ you pause. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing- just- fuck-“ he seems destrought. He removes his hands from you and steps back. You pull your underwear backup as you wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t.
“Can I ask you something?” He doesn’t say anything he just stares at you. “What are we?” This question has been eating you alive for days.
“We’re dating,” he tilts his head to the side, his eyes still seeming empty.
“Are we exclusive?” You feel like you’re crazy for the fact you have to have this conversation almost five months in.
“Of course we are.”
“Are you my boyfriend?” You know this label was what was driving you insane.
“Why are we having this conversation tonight?” He sighs.
“Because something is wrong and I feel like we need to talk about what is bothering both of us.”
“This is what’s bothering you?” He seems void of emotions.
“Yeah. I don’t understand what we are. I want you to be my boyfriend,” you feel like you’re on the verge of crying.
“It’s complicated,” he sighs.
“It shouldn’t be. You act like my boyfriend. Hell we literally got invited to couples night with your friends.”
“I have so much going on in my life and I can’t fully commit to being your boyfriend. Work is so much right for me. I don’t have time to fully commit to you.” That’s bullshit. He’s constantly spending time with you. You see him at least three times a week.
“I’m not asking for much. I like what we have. I just want to call you my boyfriend and not feel crazy for being in love with you.” Telling him you love him like this feels wrong. It makes your chest burn. You always hoped to hear him say it first to you.
“You love me?” He looks completely caught off guard by your statement.
“Why do you sound shocked?”
“I don’t know,”
“I don’t think you love me, and that’s okay. But I think if you can’t commit to me more, for my own self preservation I need to stop this. This-“ you point between the two of you. “Is just going to break my heart.”
“I’m trying so hard not to break your heart.”
“But you aren’t really trying,” tears slowly start to slide down your cheek. “If you were actually trying to work with me. I wouldn’t feel like I’m going through a fucking maze trying to figure out what’s got you so upset.” You push away your tears. “I don’t know why you’re so guarded, because you won’t ever tell me why you’re like this. I feel like I know you, but at the same time there are so many things about yourself you keep hidden from me. But I have fully let you in. I showed you parts of myself I have been terrified to show other people. I never hid my job from you, you’re the first person I fully never trusted anyone to see that side of me.” He just stares at you with his eyes brimming with tears. “From the beginning I’ve never liked anyone like I like you. I’ve always been yours to keep, but at the same time yours to lose.” The silence in the room is screaming. “I think you should probably head out.” You reach on the floor picking up your dress that he peeled off you. You walk away from the door.
He nods and steps away from you. The moment the front door shuts you can’t help but sob. He made it very clear he doesn’t love you, and now you feel crazy for ever falling for him.
-
You haven’t spoken to him in two weeks, and in that time you’ve only gone live once. It wasn’t a normal long stream you would do for at least an hour. This one was short, and after one orgasm you needed the live. The whole time you were on camera you could only think of Junhui and it was breaking your heart. It didn’t help that the chat was asking where your mystery man you called “baby” was.
Getting over a one-sided breakup hurts. It doesn’t help that you don’t exactly have a ton of friends that live in the city. You could call Kitten but you felt weird since she’s friends with Junhui too.
Laying in bed looking through your phone you see the only sex tape that you and him had made together. You know he said you could post for subscribers only page behind a paywall, but you never intended for anyone to see this video other than the two of you. You know you should delete it or just store it in your hidden folder and move on but for some reason you watch it. The loving looking in his eyes as he slowly rolls his hips into yours over and over again. Before you reach the end of the video when you fall apart moaning his name, you close your phone. There is once again that ache in your chest.
-
There is a knock on the door and you have no clue who could be at your door. Opening the door you weren’t expecting to see Minghao of all people on the other side. You have no clue why Junhui's roommate is at your door.
“Hi?” You’re confused on why he’s here.
“You know Junnie won’t tell me anything, but he’s been sulking around the apartment for over two weeks and when I asked about you he looked like he was fighting back tears.” You step aside and Minghao walks in.
You don’t respond to his statement, you instead ask, “Would you like tea?”
“Please.”
He sits at your kitchen table as you make two cups of tea. You place a cup in front of him and sit down across from him.
“Are you going to tell me what happened with Junhui?” Minghao is probably the only of the few people in Junhui's friends that fully knows about your actual job.
“It’s complicated,” you sigh.
“I’m going to assume he’s the one that messed up,” he sighs before taking a sip of his tea.
“Hao, how would you explain to someone my relationship with him?” You’re curious to see what someone from the outside thinks of your relationship.
“You’re his girlfriend,” he raises an eyebrow.
“Turns out I wasn’t. Our relationship was odd. In my eyes he was my boyfriend, we were together all the time and he even took me on dates. Hell he even knew about my job and didn’t care.” You decided to leave out that he would film with you. “He would never fully commit though. He would dodge referring to me as his girlfriend. And when I asked him what we were, he just told me all the reasons he couldn’t be my boyfriend.”
Minghao takes a deep breath as he gives you a sympathetic look. “He got his heart broken really badly before you. She couldn’t take how busy he was with work. They dated for two years and one day she ended things saying that his job would always come first.”
“I don’t think he’s heartbroken this time. He made it clear he didn’t love me when I told him I loved him.”
He sets his cup down and has a confused look on his face. “What do you mean he doesn’t love you?”
“His response to my confession was, I’m trying really hard not to break your heart.”
“Fuck he’s dumb.”
“You know I let him see every part of me and never hid anything from him, and wouldn’t fully let me in.”
“Before you let go of him. Could you try talking to him one last time?”
“Minghao why? He’s not here trying to talk to me. You are?”
“Listen, he loves you and he wants more. He’s just scared.” He sighs. “He’s not as guarded as you think is.”
“You know he doesn’t talk about his family at all?”
“That’s because he’s has some issues with his family. It’s just him and his mom. His dad left when he was young. He works hard to help support his mom.”
“Why won’t he tell me this?” It hurts that he hasn’t tried to talk to you.
“I guess it’s his way of protecting himself.” He sighs standing up.
“He doesn’t have to protect himself when it comes to me.”
“You don’t have to do this, but maybe you should come by and see if he’ll talk to you.”
“He needs to come to me. I can’t put myself on the line anymore. I’m already hurt enough. If he wants to fix this he has to be the one to fix it.”
Minghao leaves, giving you a hug goodbye. You decide that night you need to let go of Wen Junhui.
-
Another week goes by before there is another knock on the door. You were getting ready to attempt to do a short stream. You threw on a robe fully covering your body.
Opening the door you’re surprised to see Junhui standing on the side. He’s dressed in his work clothes. He looks tired and there isn’t his normal light behind his eyes.
“Why are you here?” He opens his mouth to speak and nothing comes out before he sighs. “If you’re here to waste my time you can leave.”
“I’m not good at any of this stuff.”
“Clearly,” you retort.
“Can I come in so we can talk?”
Silently you step aside. He walks inside standing in the living room. You shut and lock the door. You can’t help but think about the last time you were together when he had you pressed up against it.
“It’s been a month,” you break the screaming silence.
“I know.”
“Junhui you broke my heart that day. What were you so in your head about that night. You seemed so cold at the party,” your eyes are already brimming with tears.
“I wish I could go back in time and change what happened that night.” He sighs leaning against the back of the couch.
“Why?”
“Because I fucked up and hurt you. I’m sorry I was so closed off and hurt you. That night I just watching us with all the couples confused me. I had always told myself I didn’t need a relationship like that that night just confused me. I thought I couldn’t give you what everyone else had.”
“I’ve felt like I did something wrong for an entire month. I thought that maybe the reason you’re so closed off is because of my job.” That little thought had been eating away at you for weeks.
He shakes his head. “Your job had nothing to do with this. It’s not your fault even the slightest. It’s not a good excuse but I got my heart broken by a girl I was with for years. She ended things because of how much I work. I know from the beginning you said you didn’t care that I was so busy, but I thought if I committed to more with you. That one day you would end it because I can’t always be there.”
You don’t say anything for a long moment. You step towards him. You stare at him for a long moment. You hate how sad he looks. “I’m not asking for you to be readily available to me twenty-four seven. I’m just asking for you to let yourself love me, and label what we have.” Reaching up, you rest your hand gently on his cheek. Your thumb slowly drags across his delicate skin. “I fell so incredibly hard for you, and you made me feel like I was insane for loving you.”
“You weren’t lying when you said you were mine to keep and mine to lose. I fell so hard for you too, and I was so scared that I was going to lose you.”
He looks like he’s about to cry. “I didn’t want to leave you. You pushed me away.”
“I don’t ever want to push you away again.”
“Let yourself love me then,” you sigh.
“I already do love you. I loved you when you kicked me out. I loved you every second we were apart. I still love you.”
The world suddenly feels like it’s spinning a little quicker. There’s nothing you can say in that moment. Leaning up you crash your lips into his for a heated kiss. Your arms are wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to you.
With his lips ghosting yours he whispers, “I love you.”
Pulling back you can’t help but smile, “that’s good because I love you too.”
“I would like for you to be my girlfriend. I’m just asking that you’re patient with me.”
“I can be patient,” you can’t help the happy tears that are starting to fall.
“Work is going to be crazy for me sometime. But just know I might be busy, but I’m always thinking about you, and I’m going to try my hardest to make time for you.”
“All I’m asking for is for you to always try your hardest with me and I’ll do the same with you,” he pressed his lips gently to the side of your mouth.
“I’m assuming by your robe you were getting ready to film?” He gently tugs on the belt.
“Yeah but I can film tomorrow. Maybe tonight we could take a bath and just spend time together.”
“I would love that.”
You knew that things always wouldn’t be the easiest. But all that mattered was that he loved you, and you loved him with your whole heart. All the pieces feel like they’re all suddenly falling into place.
103 notes · View notes
pillowspace · 1 day ago
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csd ask about that cool concept you had for the end of the fic? may we know any more about it? :3
OH. HEY WAIT, DID I EVER SAY WHAT THAT WAS? I don't actually know what you're referring to exactly, but I can guess
Y/N was never actually from that universe. The CSD universe. They were never even from it. I don't know if you remember the frankenfate au but this was a little secret I held that made frankenfate funny to me, because... because Vale kinda was from a soulmate AU. It just wasn't of the soulmarks or red string variety.
Y/N had a destiny in a modern mer!DCA world, but they were taken from their universe as a toddler to eventually give Sun and Moon a weakness years down the line. I... I know it was William Afton's doing, I think Henry had trapped him someplace and he needed the power of multiple gods to escape or something like that? So he was using Eclipse to get his way, but he secretly had plans to also kill Eclipse once it was all done? That was probably it??
Being brought into this universe, it was like... forcefully jamming together two soulmates when Y/N's narrative was meant for a different Sun entirely. Y/N would find this out later, and although it'd be horrifying to them, they'd eventually decide that it didn't matter if this bond was planned with ill intent, they cared about Sun and Moon now so they had to HELP them! Once William or whatever the hell I planned to call him had trapped both Sun and Moon and gotten what they needed out of Y/N, William would just... send them back off. You've completed their role in this universe. Bye bye now.
So Y/N would've been sent back to their original world. Lost and horribly confused. They were only human. They didn't know how to go back. They're still reeling from realizing that they had been a trap since the moment they met Sun. They could just... stay here, even if they're too scared to approach their own family. Knowing how their life was meant to play out, it's not hard for Y/N to stick close to the sea and soon meet the Sun and Moon they were fated to meet. And it feels like something's clicked, they had always been drawn to water, but they also feel so... empty. Their wants conflict with their fate because a god had decided to tamper with it. They miss their universe, this isn't the home they were raised in, they want to go back!!
And then they meet Michael and Elizabeth. Two gods who Y/N had met in godly disguise before, so they don't recognize the siblings. But Michael recognizes them, and after some conversations, Michael picks up on the fact that Y/N isn't some parallel version but instead the very same person he had met before. So Michael makes an offer. I can't get you directly back to your universe, it doesn't work like that. But it does work like a staircase. Each step is a different universe, and if you'll let me help you get through each world having fulfilled a goal, you'll be able to move on to the next. At the end of that journey will be the universe you truly see as home.
Y/N agrees, and later has a heartfelt goodbye with the mers. I'll... note that the mers don't really talk, so it was just Y/N thanking them, apologizing, and wishing them well in life.
Truthfully, I know I had a reason for how this happens, but I can't remember it: CSD Eclipse also travels with Y/N. They're there, I can't remember why 😭 But their dynamic is... easier then. The two (three?) of them bicker back and forth, but that's a lot healthier than whatever Eclipse had going on previously.
Fun fact!! One of the universes they would end up in on their journey back to the CSD Universe would actually have Sunna and Meno. Y/N would've gotten to meet them separately. Eclipse would've had... feelings about that universe.
I didn't want to drive in the idea of soulmates being this big and necessary thing, so Y/N would eventually come to learn after their happy ending with the gods that the mers are now happy with friends of their own. Everyone got what they wanted, even if the whole rhythm of life got disrupted into a new story.
SO? SURPRISE? CSD Y/N WAS FROM A MER UNIVERSE THE ENTIRE TIME? I hope this is coherent, I'm fighting for my life to sound even remotely coherent in any of this
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kisakis-boyfriend · 3 days ago
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Okay, here's my request for the halloween event!
First thing: I forgot to ask about the polyship, so I wondering it's possible to request with Makoto & Akihiko. If not, then can I just get Makoto?
(Note: I'm writing the context with Makoto & Akihiko as a polyship, so ignore Akihiko if polyship is not possible)
(Also: NSFW)
Context: Reader is a member of SEES and the crew is visiting Tartarus on Halloween, which makes it more dangerous than usual. The party (which has Reader, Makoto, and Akihiko, plus anyone else (Up to you, if you want)) is separated on a floor with Fuuka unable to locate and hear them. The reader finds Makoto and Akihiko fighting a powerful shadow, only for them to become inflicted with Charm before they could defeat the shadow. Reader managed to defeat the shadow only to find the two still under the Charm status and looking at Reader with hunger... What happens next is up to you.
Thank you! Hope this is alright with you!
🎃
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Author's Note: You've activated my trap card! AkiMako/Mina is one of my favorite p3 ships. 🥰 Reader ended up being a bit of a switch rather than fully dom, I hope that's alright 😵‍💫 This was super fun to brainstorm for and write! The focus kept shifting more towards Akihiko no matter what, I tried to keep Makoto included but I'm sorry if that's not quite what you wanted. ;( I hope you enjoy it anyways~
Pairings: Makoto x Akihiko x male reader
Warnings: Male!reader, switch/top!reader, switch/bottom!characters, everyone is 18+ & a virgin, reader is a bit of a closeted pervert, mild dubcon, riding, facesitting, oral sex
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The moon hangs heavily in the sky, not quite full, but close. A small sliver remains dark — the promise of an upcoming hardship once that section is also lit.
Your leader gathered the group earlier tonight, arranging a plan to infiltrate Tartarus and hone your skills further in preparation for these final few shadows you're guaranteed to clash with.
Certain teammates weren't available — which left the candidates for tonight's mission as: Makoto (your leader), Akihiko, Junpei, and yourself. Fuuka is, of course, your trusty navigator. Mitsuru is also on standby, just in case something happens.
Everything was going smoothly at first, until you came across a floor that was slightly warped. Your teammates began to complain of a headache, but before any of you could even say "let's find a teleporter" — or before Fuuka could warn you of the incoming danger — you all fainted.
None of you even considered that Tartarus, the dark hour, or the shadows would behave differently tonight. Apparently, the holiday where the veil between worlds is thinner does affect Tartarus, and now you were all going to pay the price for venturing in so willy nilly.
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The first thing you perceive is a terrible pounding in your head—like someone is hitting your brain with several hammers—followed by the hard surface underneath you. Your eyes feel far too heavy to open, and a faint ringing invades your ears as you regain consciousness. There's an ache in your limbs that wasn't there earlier, but nothing appears broken or outwardly injured—save for a few bruises.
Sitting up hurts. Whatever transported you here wasn't gentle and you can really feel it. The familiar presence of your friends is no longer with you, and you panic, finding yourself all alone in a completely different area.
“Hey, Fuuka? Come in, Fuuka! …Shit!” no response.
Ok, don't panic. Surely there's just something jamming our communication. They're probably still here somewhere, I just have to look around.
Luckily, your weapon wasn't stolen. You pick it up and keep it at the ready — god only knows what's lurking around here, waiting for you to let your guard down so that it can pounce.
There are stairs not too far from where you wake up, and they lead to a floor with a similar structure. Another flight up, and it's the same. You gather that, from your knowledge of previous blocks, these are the floors right before you encounter a gatekeeper. No enemies in sight, just a straight path up.
Which means, the next floor should be… !!!
“You want a piece of me?! Then, come get some!” someone shouts in the distance. A deep male voice, quite feisty, too.
That all too familiar voice catches your attention, and you rush up the stairs without hesitation. Your guess is correct; on the next floor, your friend, Akihiko is fighting what appears to be a gatekeeper. Your leader is fighting by his side, but Junpei is nowhere to be seen. Before you can locate him though, you'll need to defeat this thing. Eliminating any immediate danger before you can get your bearings and conduct a search and rescue is a priority.
They manage a couple strong hits to the shadow, but that doesn't seem to do much more than provoke the damn thing. After a successful attack from Makoto, the shadow winds up to unleash a counter attack that hits both of your teammates, knocking them both down and stunning them in the process.
While your teammates are capable all on their own, you can't stuff down the protective itch scratching at your brain. Seeing your friends in a vulnerable position triggers your theurgy — and before you can even think, you slam a cartridge into your evoker and point it at your head. Pulling the trigger to unleash an attack so devastating, it turns that shadow into dust instantaneously.
“Whew… hah, take that, asshole! Mess with my friends again… *huff* I dare you!” you manage between heavy breaths. Wow, ok…may have overdone it a bit there… you say in your head before turning towards your friends, giving them a quick once-over to see if they're injured.
“Hey, leader, how ya feeling?”
He hesitates for a minute. Finally speaking, “Fine, now that you're here~” you definitely notice a change in his tone, but you chalk it up to disorientation after being teleported to a strange floor like you were. It's not until Akihiko speaks up that you really clock something strange happening…
“I'm so happy to see you, y/n~” your white haired companion says in a sing-song way.
……… yeeeaahh no. Akihiko does not talk like that- something's definitely fishy here.
You squint at your friends, glancing back and forth between them. “Are you guys sure you're feeling alright? You're acting a little funny…”
As you eyeball them, they both begin stepping forward, with strange looks on their faces. It's unclear what their intentions are, but something about the way they move is… unnerving. Maybe not threatening, it's just unlike the way they normally move.
Your voice betrays you, trembling as you also take a step back while they close in on you. “This isn't very funny. What are you doing?” You try to keep both guys within your peripherals, eyes flicking back and forth between them as you try to figure out what's happening. It doesn't help that your feet also betray you, and you fall flat on your ass.
Akihiko drops to his knees in front of you, crawling towards you with a strange hunger swirling in his gray eyes. He slots right between your legs, leaning ever closer until his breath tickles your face. “Sanada-senpai…?” any further questioning gets cut off as your teammate steals your first kiss—unexpectedly so.
Tartarus is not exactly the ideal place for an impromptu kissing session… especially not from one of your friends whom you were convinced had eyes for someone else, but it seems like Akihiko isn't thinking about any of that. Actually, you don't have a clue what's going on in his head. Why on Earth is he suddenly smooching you?! Now's not the time for this!
“Mmph- wait wait wait, Junpei's still– !!!” you whine as your teammate holds you here by the small of your back, stealing kiss after kiss while you remain helpless to his attack. There's the faintest taste of blood on his lips, but otherwise he actually tastes… really nice. His lips only leave yours for brief moments, allowing for quick breaths before he continues this strange, uncharacteristic display of affection.
When Akihiko finally pulls back, he leaves your head spinning, not too dissimilar to how you felt before you fainted earlier. Before your senior can lean back in, you gasp, “Why… did you do that?”
His only response is a chuckle as he tilts his head, aiming for your jawline next. Hot, wet lips trail along your skin, jumbling your thoughts further.
Impatiently waiting his turn, your leader circles behind you, kneeling down as well and experimentally touching you. He starts off rubbing your shoulder, almost in a comforting manner, then growing bolder when you don't shrug him off, sliding his warm hands under your shirt.
Makoto's lips eagerly make contact with the back of your neck, and you gasp at the sudden feeling. With both of your friends groping and incessantly kissing you like this, it's not hard to lose yourself — getting caught up in the raw, carnal emotions and sensations.
Your chest has felt tight this whole time, and your stomach feels much the same, and somewhere a little lower… there's an unbearable heat building up, and it's starting to drive you crazy.
“Please… I get it if you're happy to see me, but, senp–mMmMPH–!” Akihiko's lips crash into yours once again, cutting you off unceremoniously. Something you said must have triggered this reaction—earning grunt and groan from your teammate as he takes you by the wrist and guides your hand in between his legs.
“D'you feel that… mmf! Look at what you're doing to me, y/n~~” your palm presses against the large bulge in Akihiko's pants. It's firm, and you swear that it…throbs…within your grasp. Your friend can't help himself as he humps your hand, moaning so close to your face while you simply stare in curiosity.
The hot and heavy breaths on your shoulder indicate that your leader is excited by this display too—panting hard as he shuffles around. You catch the sound of fabric rustling and assume that he's begun to touch himself as well. Just imagining the sight of Makoto with his hand down his pants, touching his hardened cock… and all of this is, presumably, because of you. For whatever reason they seem to be enamored by you — captivated, even. And, you do have to admit… this is all making you very excited too. What's the harm in giving in? What's the worst that could happen?
“So stiff… tell me what you want, Sanada-san.” you prompt, palming him more aggressively now. Akihiko stutters, tipping his head back as he groans “You! I want you~! Wan' you to… ruin me~❤️”
Behind you—still jerking himself with no shame—Makoto whimpers against your ear, sloppily fucking his fist until everything down there is wet and messy. God, it's an adorable image to think about. Watching your reliable leader whimper and whine, all while his pants become stained with his lust. You can even hear how wet he's become, just from sitting next to you and watching you touch Akihiko.
Your fingers graze his soft cheek and Makoto gasps, chasing your touch. “How about you, leader? You want the same thing, don't you?” His bangs bounce as he vigorously nods his head, boring into your soul with those pretty blue eyes.
“I hate how easily you've roped me into this… but I don't think any of us can just up and quit now–” you grumble, “We're in way too deep…”
Now that you're more on-board with whatever's happening, it's easy for you to take control—by pushing Akihiko onto the ground and pinning him by his hands. “Aah~ Y/nnn, please~” he whines, spreading his legs open obscenely. You've never seen Akihiko blush this much—or at all! His cheeks are almost the same shade as his vest.
You press a finger to his lips, then drag your digit down his chest all the way to his belt. “Shh, shh, don't get ahead of yourself, senpai. D'you really want me to stick it in so soon?”
The way your senior's eyes flutter and roll back has your own stomach fluttering like crazy. He licks his lips before answering “Yeess~ I'm so ready for you~” and moaning so sweetly. This is so unlike the tough yet socially awkward guy you're used to, but it is kinda hot, in a way.
“I'm sure you are, but I'm not gonna hurt you. Let's just take these off first–” you counter. Your fingers easily undo Akihiko's belt and remove it enough for him to pull his pants off, per your instructions. As he does that, you turn your attention over to S.E.E.S' most trusted leader—whose eyes shift between Akihiko's dick and your face rapidly.
“I feel like you've been rather neglected this whole time, so you come over here as well—I'll take care of you.” Makoto silently makes his way next to Akihiko, laying on his back and allowing you to remove his bottom clothing without a fuss. He gulps, and his mouth has never felt drier as he gazes at you through heavy eyelids while your hand lingers on his hip.
A forced whine pulls your attention back to Akihiko, who you can tell is trying with all his might not to touch himself as he awaits your next action.
The sight before you is a lot to take in; two of your closest friends, in the nude and lying on their backs in the middle of Tartarus, desperately staring at you with eyes completely overtaken by lust. Their cocks stand stiff, shining with the sinful layers of precum from being toyed with earlier. And, in a desperate attempt to get you to do literally anything, Akihiko grabs his ass and spreads his cheeks apart, offering up his untouched hole for you alone. “Please, y/n…”
While you are still a virgin (for a few more moments, at least) you've definitely browsed through plenty of porn — probably more than Junpei alone, maybe even more than all of your male friends combined… you have a decent idea of what to do, and a few dirty ideas of how to make your submissive friends even more embarrassed and excited~
“Alright, alright– I'm gonna use my fingers first though, ok? No protests.” you said firmly. Akihiko grumbled, but made no move to take control, relinquishing it all to you.
You wrap one hand around each of their dicks, respectively, making sure to gather precum moreso on your fingers than the rest of your hands, and pump their cocks a little. They're so fucking wet, precum is all over the inside of their underwear and now it's dribbled onto the front of their pants…and your stroking is only making a bigger mess.
Once you feel like you have enough on your fingers, you instruct them to “Open up~” Makoto understands the assignment immediately, parting his lips wide and accepting your sticky fingers so obediently. Akihiko, on the other hand, has the wrong idea, and spreads his hole more, thinking that you were going for that area already. He splutters when salty fingers push down on his tongue, filling his senses with his own lewd fluids.
The precum and saliva mix together quickly, graciously coating your fingers—much to your liking—and you finally pull them out and begin the main prep here. As your wet fingers enter Makoto for the first time, he keens, tightening up; “Hey, it's alright, you're ok. Take a breath, Makoto.” you push inside as he relaxes, and the realization of what you're doing hits you with a spark of electricity.
While your leader adjusts to the new intrusion, you set your sights on your other teammate as he lay there, panting, staring at you expectantly. “Ready?” a firm nod as Akihiko grasps the flesh of his own cheeks and spreads them once more is all the confirmation you need, rubbing the rim of his hole before your finger slides on in. You're only using one finger to start with, lest you accidentally hurt one of them. But it's not long until you can go up to two digits, scissoring their cute, puffy holes for the very first time.
The usually silent Makoto has higher pitched, breathy moans. They echo off of the twisted walls of Tartarus — creating sweet, sweet music to your ears. And over on the other side, Akihiko's grunts mix with eager growls and occasional moaning, honestly what you'd expect from him.
Their voices fill your ears, putting you in a trance as you mindlessly finger their asses like in the videos you watch online. But, the monotony of your movements made Akihiko bored—impatient. He hungered for more than what you were giving him.
Fed up with your slow pace, the white haired male grabs your wrist, snapping you out of the trance and making you panic slightly. “What's wrong, senpai?! I'm not going too fast, am I?”
In his eyes, you catch a dangerous glint, before your world gets tipped over. “Not fast enough…” your senior mumbles, sitting up in a flash and pushing you over so that you now lay flat on your back, staring up at a sweaty, crazed teammate. His hands make quick work of your belt, yanking your pants open and freeing your cock as fast as humanly possible. As he watches your stiff cock bob and drool with precum, his eyes glaze over, gasping like a kid in a candy shop.
“Waitwaitwait–!! Don't! I haven't– you haven't done this yet… it might still hurt!” your pleas fall on deaf ears as you watch in slow motion as Akihiko lines up your cock with his ass and pops the head in. Both of your eyes widen, and it would be a lie to say that this didn't feel amazing, just from your tip penetrating your friend's ass. “Senpai… fff-shiiit~ Ah–!”
The dizzying sensation returns, more intense than it has been so far, blurring all vision and judgement as your entire length fills up your friend's ass — from tip to base, your dick is squeezed tightly by Akihiko's hot walls.
“Oh yeah, that's it! Right there, y/n~ This is what I needed from you!!” your teammate exclaims, throwing his head back as he rides you with enough force to bruise your pelvis. His ass slams down repeatedly, only stopping to grind down and clench around your cock.
Feeling neglected and equally as hungry as his teammate, Makoto sits up and pouts. “Mmm, y/nnn… it's empty… without you…” his hips move without rhythm, chasing the phantom of pleasure left from having your fingers pulled out of him too soon. “N-need you… haah~”
Though you're out of breath, and struggling to focus on anything with Akihiko's tight hole sucking you in, you manage to get out, “C'mere… oOH~ Sit on me.” Brief images of pretty men and women sitting on another person's face as they get eaten out pop up in your mind, reliving the nights spent watching strangers' tongues lap at someone's ass or cunt in all kinds of ways. It's unclear what possessed you to suggest this, but that's what comes out of your mouth regardless. As your leader gives you an inquisitive look, you repeat, “Sit on my face, Makoto, I wanna… taste you.”
“Aah… like this…?” he murmurs, placing his knees on both sides of your head. With your patience now dwindling by the second, you wrap your hands around Makoto's thighs and make him sit on your face. His hole is right at your mouth, and you instantly begin to lick it, acting so lewd compared to your regular day-to-day self that your leader blushes even deeper.
“It's… too good–!! Ah! Y/n~” Makoto moans, grinding against your mouth selfishly. His voice goes up an octave when you dip your tongue inside — squeezing his thighs for dear life as adrenaline kicks in even more. All of these lewd acts have fired you up to the point where you just want to stay here all day, humming as you eat out one friend, and thrust your hips into another.
Speaking of– Akihiko hasn't even slowed down once while you've been taking care of your leader. And you finally feel the effect of that as your core tightens, and your thrusts become erratic. Akihiko matches that enthusiasm, bouncing with all of his strength until you're whining into Makoto's hole and creaming Akihiko's.
“Unf–! Fuuuu– mm, that's… what I needed~” your senpai grunts. His cock leaks onto your stomach, but he's yet to cum–
On top of you, Makoto's cock leaks all over your shirt—it aches for something more… In a fit of boldness, he pulls himself from your grasp just enough to scoot backwards and slide his dick into your open mouth. The action surprises you, but your head is so dizzy that you don't make any fuss over it.
Now, with his cock working further into your throat, Makoto hunches forward, cursing at the newfound sensation. Between seeing all of that happen, the obscene sounds coming from both his leader and you, and the hard cock still buried in his guts—Akihiko yearns for another round. Wasting no time in finding a steady pace, he rides you like a cowboy would a mechanical bull; gyrating his hips to bring himself (and you, by proxy) every ounce of pleasure available.
Both of the men on top of you are so caught up in their own agendas that they don't realize how much they've been gradually leaning forward, closer and closer to each other until their faces are right there next to each other.
They make eye contact, and it's Akihiko who moves first — he smirks at his leader, then puts a firm hand on the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. A whole new feeling of lust takes over as Makoto fucks your mouth while Akihiko dominates his with his tongue. Feeling himself close to his release, Akihiko uses his free hand to masturbate his cock. It's sloppy and messy as his precum smears all across his glove—but clearly he does not care about that right now. His only goal is pleasure; a satisfying release after all of this intense fun.
You're still recovering from your orgasm when you feel your teammate's ass tighten around your dick, and seconds later he's shooting cum that hits yourself and your leader. His hips stutter wildly, and his breath is ragged and short as he savors the feeling of ecstasy shooting through his veins.
All of the excitement tips Makoto over the edge as well, and his load goes right down your throat, the surprise of which causes you to arch your back and buck your hips into Akihiko. When he eventually pulls out (and allows you to breathe!!) his body immediately slumps, accidentally resting his head on Akihiko's shoulder as he, too, trembles from the aftershocks.
Several minutes pass—so you assume—and your head begins to clear up. It's now that you take in the mess you've all made… there's cum all over your clothing, sweat and other bodily fluids clinging to your face, not to mention that your legs have fallen asleep after so much riding! The heavy presence on your chest and the one on your pelvis are noticeable now that you've calmed down too.
Still sitting on top of you, Akihiko's tired eyes flutter open and, judging by the intense look in them—the hearts taking up the space where his pupils once were—you fear that this isn't over yet…
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jullbnt · 3 days ago
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I really enjoy all of this too :D
Aonuma's comment about nostalgia was also because he genuinely seems to think more freedom = better games, so he doesn't understand why some fans like me prefer the old Zelda formula when it was more "restrictive" in his opinion.
I still prefer to keep the timelines separated but what you're saying makes sense, I better understand how it could work! I like the idea that the merging would be the result of very careful planning by the gods/goddesses that would take millenia, it's kind of fascinating (you're right "just" was a bit of a stretch). Don't worry my take is probably very confusing too, it has time travel and a whole crazy fourth timeline ^^
It's definitely been a while since SS, though I always found the time scale in BotW a bit ridiculous (10 000 years since the first Calamity just sounded like an alternate way of saying "a very long time ago" to me). Oh you didn't like the dragons in BotW? I love seeing them flying over Hyrule, I always stop to watch them. At least they're way better than the ones in SS, I still think they looked kind of terrible 😆
Yes Faron is the Water Dragon in SS and Lanayru is the Thunder Dragon, which never made sense to me (especially with Farore's Flame still being green and Nayru's being blue). The opposite would have been better in my opinion. It's a real pain in my side because the dragons play a big role in my story and I want them to be the same ones from SS (with an explanation for the way they changed), so until I find something not too convoluted to explain the swap I just ignore the inconsistencies… Anyway even with their elements swapped I think it's hard not to see the link with SS, especially with the sacred springs being on the map (sure SS only had two, but still). And if the dragons don't talk it's simply because they play no role in BotW ^^
I don't mind when things are a bit vague because it allows us to theorize, but I still think something as big as Rauru claiming to be the first king when he is not should be explained, that's way too confusing. What you said could be the case, but then I would have loved an explanation from Rauru himself. It didn’t need too be very detailed, just that he founded this new version of Hyrule on the ruins of an ancient kingdom with the same name.
(Also the new timeline we got in TotK Master Works is very confusing, it really makes TotK look like some kind of reboot. The events of Skyward Sword are never mentioned, the Secret Stones replace the Triforce, and Rauru is confirmed to be the first king of Hyrule. But maybe it could work with your theory, the gods/goddesses could merge the three timelines and then start all over again in this way. But I really wish they wouldn't kind of erase previous lore this way).
I think it's a bit different for the Oocca and the Minish, since both TP and MC had the excuse of being released before Skyward Sword and the official timeline (and they weren't sequels to other games). I won't argue about MC though, I think it never really fit in the timeline because it's too different from the rest.
In TP the entire story wasn't about the Oocca and they weren't the ones to seal Ganon, to name the Sages, to be the first rulers of Hyrule… Shad only theorized that they were the real creators of Hyrule, and since no one travels through time to see it happen there's a possibility that he just got them mixed with the Skyloftians.
Hyrule in game is the size of Kyoto, but I think we can assume in reality it would be a lot bigger, maybe even like a continent. I mean I can't imagine having a desert, a jungle, a volcano, and a few snowy montain chains cramped up together in such a small area ^^ Hebra alone could be the size of the Alps or something like that. But I agree, it would definitely be nice to know what's happening outside of Hyrule!
Yes the stones are blank power modifiers, I just find it a bit… lame. But my major issue with them is that I don't see how owning one makes anyone a Sage. As I said in previous games Sages had important roles and had a more spiritual aspect to them than just being warriors with magicial abilities (that's more like being a Champion from BotW). Usually the Sages all need to be awaken by Link for their shared power to be effective, which is something I like a lot. In TotK you can go straight to Ganondorf and fight all the bosses without the help of the Sages or with only half of them if you're good enough, and since I've seen people do it with only one heart we know that Link is canonically perfectly able to do so. That makes the Sages useless (the same could be said of the Divine Beasts in BotW, but it's less lore breaking. Though the fact that you can beat Ganon without the Master Sword is another story).
It's as if OoT Link didn't need the Sages to seal Ganondorf in the Sacred Realm and could confront him any moment after fighting all the bosses in a row. That would basically ruin Ocarina of Time.
I know about On'nen, I've actually read a bit about it to better understand Zelda lore and Demise's curse (though I may not have gone as deep as you). I'll definitely check QuestWithAaron, that sounds very interesting (thanks!). I didn't know gloom was Shoki though, I didn't understand why it was not malice anymore in TotK so that's a good point. But I think it confuses things even more between TotK Ganondorf and BotW Ganon for people who don't know Shintoism, which isn't ideal.
I still don't think Ganondorf with a secret stone would be more powerful than Ganondorf with the Triforce of Power. TP Ganondorf has just as many reasons for his resentment to grow after being exiled to the Twilight Realm, but he still can't break the Master Sword and he has a piece of the Triforce. I was really expecting an explanation for that later in the game, especially after Ganondorf recognizes Link and Zelda at the beginning and mentions Rauru (I was so excited about this, it felt big). That's one thing I hope I can better explain in my story.
Btw in French malice is indeed called "rancœur" (rancor) and gloom is "miasmes" (miasma). I'm not sure the official reason for weapon durability in BotW was malice, but it could be a good way to explain it!
Haha the Zonai being evolved Remlits is a fun idea ^^
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You're welcome! Yes something like Croifluances could work, though I prefer Confluances. It sounds closer to Crossflows so it could be a good idea! For Mipha it would be Cour Sainte Mipha (saint is masculine). Cour might not be the right word though, in French a "cour" is an open space enclosed/surrounded by buildings (more like a courtyard actually!). The French translation went with Parc Mipha, and I could also see something like Promenade.
Yes games centered around the non-Hylian races would be interesting. Though I think what I would love to see most in a future game is a Gerudo King that is not Ganondorf and is portrayed in a positive light.
OoT and MM are my favorites so I completely agree, I want to see something like that again. The subtext and depth of these games were unlike anything they did since, I really miss it ^^
Hi, sorry if this is a bit rude. 😅 I guess that I was just wondering. How would Jabul Waters, Zora Cove, & Crossflows Plaza be named in French?
I'm trying to give Jabul Waters an interesting name that works to go with my hc & I came up with "Jabuleaux." And Google Translate tells me that Crossflows Plaza would be Place des Flux Croisés. And, I'm seeing that Anse is the term to refer to a cove &, if that's true, then would Zora Cove be Zoranse? At the same time, somewhere else, it said that Anse actually means beach.
And, I believe that a town by a swamp would have cher, quier, bren, brin, or Hor- in it?
I'm sorry if this is weird... 😅
Hi! Don't worry it's not rude or weird at all! I offered to help and I'm happy to do so :D
Did you check the official French translations? I had a surprisingly hard time finding the French version of the map online so here's a screenshot I took myself:
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Jabul Waters = Eaux de Jabule (this one only appears when I zoom out)
Zora Cove = Baie Zora
Crossflows Plaza = Place de l'Estuaire
In case you didn't know the Zelda Wiki often lists names for places or characters in various languages in the "Nomenclature" section of its pages. It's very helpful especially if you're searching for the original Japanese names. If we look at at the different names for Crossflows Plaza we can see that a literal translation from Japanese would be something like "Exchanging Place". I checked the Jisho dictionary and it seems to be an accurate translation, though "Place for Cultural Exchanges" would be more meaningful.
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It's not exactly a good name in English so it makes sense that the localization team would come up with something like Crossflows Plaza instead, which in my opinion does a very good job of stating that this is both the place where the river meets the sea and where the two Zora tribes traditionally meet each other.
Other European languages all settled for variations of "Estuary Plaza" ("Place de l'Estuaire" in French), which is fine but looses the "cultural exchanges" aspect of both the original name and the English translation.
I've been trying to come up with a French translation of "Crossflows Plaza" but it's not that easy. To me "Place des Flots Croisés" or "Place Flots-Croisés" would sound better than "Place des Flux Croisés", but I still find it a bit weird ("flot" meaning flow, tide or stream). "La Croisée des Flots" is another option if you agree to get rid of Plaza/Place (it means "the intersection/junction of streams"), but I don't think it works very well as a name.
You could also mix words to create a name the same way it was done in English, something like "Place Croiseaux" (croiser/cross + eau/waters). If any of my French speaking followers is feeling inspired, please share your ideas! :)
(I just thought of "Place Cruciflot" and found it too funny not to mention 😆 maybe it sounds too much like crucifix)
In French we also have the word "confluence" that has the exact same meaning as it does in English: either the meeting of two rivers or a gathering of some kind. So to me the most obvious translation would be something like "Place des Confluences" or maybe "Place Confluence", as it would preserve the dual meaning, but it's not very fancy or creative. Maybe we could simply change the spelling to something like Place Konfluans, the same way "Village Côtier" (Seaside Village) is spelled "Village Kothié" (Seesyde Village). But it doesn't look like a French word anymore so I'm not sure that's something you'd like.
As for Jabuleaux, it can work but I prefer the official translation "Eaux de Jabule". Same thing for Zoranse, we would say "Anse Zora" or "Anse des Zora". The official French translation is "Baie Zora" (Zora Bay), which I think is more appropriate given the size of the sea inlet (in my understanding an anse/cove is a small baie/bay and isn't very deep). I think maybe it should have been bay in English as well instead of cove, but I might be wrong! Also I believe "anse" isn't used as often as "baie" and might be confusing for most people, so I would go with "Baie Zora".
I'm not sure where you found this information about swamps and town names? I didn't find anything to confirm it but I might not have looked in the right places.
French towns are often ancient and their names can derive from other languages such as Celtic, Occitan, Flemish, or regional dialects, so that's a very difficult question and I'm not sure I can give you a satisfying answer ^^
I still did a little search and found an Old French word for swamp, "palud" or "palu", that still appears in some town names such as La Palud-sur-Verdon, Saint-Pierre-la-Palud, Lapalud, etc. (today we say "marais" or "marécage"). You might be right about "bren", it could be something like muddy in Gallic.
There's also "vign" or "mign" (from Celtic), as in Mignéville or Lévignac, or l'Île de Migneaux on the Seine river (this one's in my city!).
Near where I grew up is a town named Hazebrouck, it literally means "hare swamp" (brouck/broek = swamp in Flemish). For a bit more French flavor you could maybe use -broucq or -breucq instead of -brouck.
I think the vast majority of French people have no clue about all of that (I didn't except for the last one and it's more Flemish than French), so I'd say don't oversweat it ;)
And that's all! I hope you'll find this helpful ^^
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fizzie-frog · 6 months ago
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Survived. Lived. Thrived. Up against all odds.
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brainmuncher · 5 months ago
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The emergency
A good number of members within the Justice League have children. Not all of those kids are biological or adopted but they are their kids nonetheless. Some of those kids are even old enough to be adult heroes of their own, but even then they are still their kids. And the other kids tend to take up heroism at a very young age to most people's chagrin. Although as shown by the original child hero, now going by Nightwing, it’s not as easy as telling the kids to stop.
It was learned through intense hardship that smothering the child heroes was just asking for trouble. Despite how much the older heroes wanted to stay close to their kids, it was seen as overbearing and a show of mistrust. They would act out with even less backup in retaliation, which would only bring even more stress.
So to satisfy the need for protection without stepping on any toes, two new emergency meeting signals were introduced.
One was for the kids to send off. Each one was gifted a small device that could be hidden in their person. The device had both a mic and a tracking chip that could be activated when they were in extreme danger. As soon as the device was active a signal would be sent to the league for an emergency distress signal with the details of who sent it. Due to an outcry from the kids, the device could not be activated by the guardian of the child. The mic and locator could only be activated from the device itself. It wasn’t nearly as protective as some of the more worried leaguers would like, but it was at least something. 
The second signal was one that the leaguer with a kid in danger could activate. This signal could be activated with a single code into the communicators that every member owned. If the member who sent out the signal didn’t specify what kid was in danger, every member would receive a generalized notification of the emergency alert for one of the kids. This wasn’t ideal, but it was learned early on that the guardian of the child was often too distressed to make the code more complicated. It was best to leave it simple and answer questions at the emergency meeting.
Which was great in all, until someone who doesn’t have a child involved with heroics in their care sends off a general emergency.
In places all over the globe, an emergency meeting signal message was sent by Hal Jordan, one of the lanterns. He didn’t include what child was in danger in the signal, meaning that it could be any of the underaged heroes. And considering he didn’t have a child in his care, that made multiple members panic.
When was the last time they checked in with the kids in their care? Who was the one he was sending the code for? What happened to the child he had noticed was in danger? Why is he the one that noticed? Where were their kids? Who was in danger?
Because of the nebulous nature of the call, it didn’t take long for multiple heroes to find the nearest transport to the watchtower and tumble in. What they didn’t expect was the absolute haggard appearance of their friend. He was standing in the meeting room looking like the world had been destroyed before his very eyes. The way he sat without even cracking a sarcastic remark made multiple members pause.
“Hal?” Wonder Woman called, her face pinched in concern. “What has happened?”
The aforementioned member looked over who had already arrived before settling on her face. It was at that moment she knew that he was only looking so collected through willpower alone. This wasn’t just any child of the league, this was personal.
“My nephew Danny has been captured,” He began, sending a wave of different emotions circling the room. “I’ve been trying to find where they took him for a week now and I can’t get any leads. I need your help.”
The unsaid questions and emotions were nearly palpable. Multiple members turned to one another or stared with a million questions. Nobody had known that Hal even had a nephew named Danny. Sure he mentioned someone named Jason at times, but he never indicated anything else. The fact that he hadn’t mentioned him or the fact that he’d been apparently searching for a week was strange.
“And why are you only telling us now? Why did you wait so long?” Superman asked, speaking up the question that was on multiple minds.
A fire of anger curled in Hal's eyes. It was fierce and protective. It was a mixture of appalment for being questioned on his decision and fury for the reasons why he had to do it in the first place. He stepped forward towards the center table, slamming his palms down and leaning into it.
“Because any person that goes against the group will be declared an enemy of the United States. I’ve already had my account and housing connected to Green Lantern seized,” He explained with a deceptively calm tone. “I also needed to make sure that they didn’t have any connections with the Justice League. They have their agents everywhere.”
Unsurprisingly, Batman appeared from the gathered heroes from seemingly nowhere. Despite the feud between the two of them, the Bat was completely zeroed in on the situation. While he had a decent amount of distrust in the lantern, mainly because of the parallax incident, he could tell that the man was genuine. And the Bat always did have a blind spot for children.
“Explain,” Was all Batman said, staring Hal down.
The lantern in question looked at him with a grim face. This was it. Now or never.
“They’re called the Ghost Investigation Ward, or GIW for short. They hunt down and either exterminate or experiment on anyone they deem ectocontaminated or a ghost,” Hal started to explain, his hand curling on the table in frustration. “My brother Jack faked his death and ran off to be with another woman. Those fucks deemed my nephew as ectocontaminated and tried to take him from his home. He ran from his family so that they couldn’t be arrested for knowingly harboring an ecto entity. Told me that he remembered my face from a photo his dad tried to hide in the attic and sought me out.”
If the fire in his eyes were any stronger, they would probably become physical and burn down the room. It was undeniable that Hal Jordan was understandably completely pissed off. This situation was terrible from down to the very root.
“I tried to hide him but they somehow found him anyway. Now my civilian name is being heavily monitored and Green Lantern is being hunted down,” He finished his explanation. “If you join me in this, be prepared to lose everything.”
This was so much worse than anyone could’ve predicted.
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kyouka-supremacy · 10 months ago
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#random rambles#Technically I'm done with this month's header since yesterday.#Practically I've been feeling so insecure about it I've been procrastinating looking for an icon or uploading it at all#Like it *was* natural to have a downgrade in themes I've said it myself a lot of times. After 24+ themes it's understandable I'd run out–#of inspiration (or even simply material) for the very cool stuff#That said. I did very much spend the whole entire day from when I woke up to when I (started studying at past 2am) went to sleep on it#That's what I get for working with the anime tbh. Bones artstyle is ugly there's little to be done about it#While making it I also came up with other two themes concepts.#One is probably going to replace September's plan and the other idk will probably slid to the next year#Idk looking at this year's planned themes lineup it all feels full of things I'm not skilled enough to make...#On top of everything this February's theme wasn't even what I had initially planned!! The one I had initially planned was a chapter 33 pane#Idk why I didn't follow up with it. Maybe I've just grown to think manga panels are too simple (terrible choice) (rip)#I think the thing that bugs me with both the initially picked image and the anime header I made yesterday–#is that there's no smooth transition with the blog. And I know it's not a big deal but pretty much all my themes do and it's bothering me..#And it shouldn't. Like nearly everyone uses an header that is sharply separate from the blog and they make it work#Uhm..............#Idk I should be studying besides.#I think I'll either go looking for an icon and see how the overall theme looks on the blog. Maybe I'll like it better then.#Or I'll just start over and see if I can use the ch 33 panel I had in mind and see if I'll like THAT better#It'd just be a shame if after all the time I've spent on it yesterday I'd just let it lie unused on my computer#There's also the fact that black and white of the manga doesn't feel very February-esque... (Don't ask)#Ugh. I hate looking for icons it's always the worst part 😭😭😭#I was considering the last Beast Atsushi illustration (because ofc I was) but idk. Idk if I can make it work.#And part of me is also like “don't use beautiful Hoshikawa Beast Atsushi on an ugly theme” LOL#But I also suffer heavily from the lack of Beast in this year's lineup.#Okay rant over. Shutting up now#Edit: If this month's theme is ugly please be kind#Edit 2: Jk I've found like four icons. Maybe I'm just very dramatic
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stars-inthe-sky · 1 year ago
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UGH.
#went on my first real work trip in FOUR YEARS yesterday. had one meeting.#woke up this morning and was getting ready for a day of stuff with another one tomorrow#only to find out that one of the only five other people in the wednesday meeting just tested positive for covid#and another had found out she'd been separately exposed as well#so today turned into doing all my meetings on zoom and rearranging travel plans#and now instead of a professional thing i'd been really looking forward to and then a fun weekend add-on with the fam#i'm flying home late tonight to isolate in our third-floor guest room while boyfriend parents etc.#at least we got credit for his and bébé's last-minute flight cancellations#and we decided to leave the dog with the sitter that had already been arranged to just have one less thing on the collective plate for now#but UGH#and what's extra infuriating is that i am probably fine. i got boosted just a few weeks ago and wasn't like hugging anyone or whatever.#but you just don't know and when there's an actual case it's reason to be actually careful#and i'm just so exhausted and bummed about a lot of things already and had so been looking forward to this whole trip#best laid plans#as they say#anyway cross your fingers for me and the battery of rapid tests i'll be taking this weekend#and in addition to staying negative i'm also very concerned about whether anyone will be comfortable will me at thanksgiving#so that's a whole other thing#UGHHHHHHH#fucking#coronavirus
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mybrainproblems · 2 years ago
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brain is just mii waiting room music as i consider where i've ended up in my supernatural fandom journey
#that is to say: a berenscrit dabbfan and glynn stan who considers s1-3 kripke and dabb era to be the best eras of spn#which means i'm sad bloodlines wasn't picked up as separate from spn and think it's a blessing in disguise that wayward wasn't greenlit#also i'm going to be watching an adaptation of a YA novel that i have zero interest in just bc glynn is the showrunner....#i wasn't in the fandom when wayward wasn't picked up but everything i've heard really sounds like it could've been a firefly s2 situation#i feel like the issues with kaia's character are well-understood at this point but killing off missouri to make her a spirit guide(???)#for patience is uh. questionable. and depending on how it was handled could have fallen badly into the magical negro trope#the shitty thing is that we all know it wasn't picked up bc execs thought an all-female cast with middle aged women as leads#wasn't marketable to a larger audience and that part is bullshit but i think maybe it was best it didn't go forward as it was planned#like unless they were intending to have a very diverse writers room i cannot imagine what berens might have come up with#the creation and treatment of kaia as a character says a lot and i think the blame falls more on him than dabb or other writers bc she was#created with the intention of being on the show he would be showrunner for so i think he had more independence/less oversight#dabb is complicit tho and so are the rest of the writers tbh since it doesn't seem like anyone saw any huge issues with it#also: davy perez wrote a better confession in stuck in the middle with you vs 15x18 and does not get nearly enough respect for it 🙄#tbh *none* of the other writers get enough respect like my god you're gonna stan berens and NOT ms meredith glynn????#thee all-rounder and Understander of late seasons and top 5 writers on the show *ever*?#glynn could do 05x04 the end but bedlund could never do regarding dean#hashtag Takes that would get you cancelled in 2021#spn
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nexus-nebulae · 2 months ago
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us: why do we get so pissy when talking abt "two brothers, alone in the world, at odds" stories
the Echoes and the Remnants: 😶
#us: *half of our system only canonically exists as the result of two god brothers alone in their universe at odds with each other*#like it's not just the Echoes and Remnants (the thousands of fragmented shards of the two gods shattered across the multiverse)#but anyone with their type of magic AND literally anyone from Althesia or Mara#bc those two god brothers travelled the multiverse and affected multiple other worlds#like destroying the moon of a world to create a soul battery that also functions as a new moon and also an afterlife#which then radiated its energy to the entire world so now everyone on that planet has evolved magic in their physical bodies which is. new#(also technically the inhabitants of Althesia came from the brothers' original world they all had to escape bc the world died)#so like without them Althesia would still be a nigh uninhabitable desert planet#and then Mara is a world born from many gateways (that MIGHT have been torn open by the brothers)#so that world is just a combination of multiple worlds that all migrated there. including a LOT of Althesians#so without Althesia half of Mara wouldn't have magic and half of those guys would not exist#and like. i think Mara is the one source we have the absolute most guys from#mc doesn't count bc they're all from separate smps which are usually disconnected#but like we have three separate batches of Marans bc we have three large plotlines that happen there#(and also that's our superhero au zone. if we want to make a superhero au it just goes there. so we have a lot of au introjects)#ok but we're trying to watch a lore timeline video abt a game and the whole early story im just like#the story: and the first brother got angry bc the other brother wasn't following the rules and was doing his own thing#us: well maybe the first brother shouldn't be so stuck up and fussy abt his brother's interests. maybe stop being a little bitch.#im on the unnamed brother's side on this one. be nice to him and his worm special interest. shut up#all the echoes and remnants have collectively decided their fathers were little bitches actually#and they aren't going to find all their fragments and reform like their fathers planned#they have their own lives now. fuck you dad#so these plotlines always hit close to home for. SO MANY OF US
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six-of-ravens · 3 months ago
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today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that just because Errant PM made up some bullshit, like a highly unrealistic deadline or randomly deciding to start showing clients half-built sites during the multiple meetings she has with them a week*, doesn't mean I have to do any of it. I can just build my little site like normal and she'll have to deal with the consequences of her idiocy.
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dreamstar-moonlight · 5 months ago
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👆👆👆
The himbo, malewife, goofball -fication of percy jackson is such a crime by both the fans and riordan. It has made Mr not like percabeth as a couple because in all posts and in later books annabeth is such a girlboss, while Percy's dumb and can't fight his way out of a paperbag without her. All the posts are about how annabeth will be an architect and percy would love to be a trophy husband.
Even the humor in the books went from Percy's sharp wit and snark to 'my pancakes can't drown because I'm a son of poseidon.'
And now this recommendation letter bullshit.
Honestly now I'd wish percy just separated from annabeth (but they remain best friends.) He stays home with his family, becomes a camp counselor, helps young demigods, holds God's accountable and eventually becomes a social activist. (I also dislike him doing something marine biology related. It's clear he hates academics but he always wants to help people. Him helping demigods and mortals is such a wholesome profession for him.)
I fully agree with the first half of this, though I slightly disagree with part of the latter.
The later-series and fanon mischaracterization of Percy is at least a solid 50% ableism minimum, full stop. He's being warped into a very stereotyped ADHD character and the exact reason why he's being characterized as "dumb" is because of ableism. Percy is a very intelligent character! That's exactly why he's so in sync with Annabeth and they're such a strong duo! It's just generally Annabeth is more book/academically smart.
I disagree with where you say he hates academics - because that's one of the common misconceptions about his character. Percy doesn't hate learning or academic subjects! He's not even bad at them! We know explicitly that when he is in an accommodating environment he is interested in learning and gets significantly better grades! Percy only dislikes school because it is generally an environment that systematically he struggles with. It's literally just he has a learning disability (two, actually)! That's it! When his learning disability is accommodated for he does well! It's almost like that's what accommodations are all about! We know this from the first series! It's discussed pretty in-depth! Percy isn't a dumb character and he doesn't hate learning, he's just been let down by school systems so much that he's inherently distrustful of them. If they actually accommodate him though then he does just fine!
And that's exactly what CHB was all about and why New Rome University was supposed to be such a big thing for him! CHB is a learning environment geared for demigods. NRU is a demigod college. Both inherently imply an environment meant to cater to and accommodate students with ADHD and dyslexia! They are both systematically structured to be able to accommodate him! Heck, CHB and CJ even both address in the wider themes of the series a metaphor about how ADHD and dyslexia are commonly seen as childhood disabilities, and how it can be more difficult to find accommodations into adulthood because of that attitude but those disabilities don't just go away - that's why CHB is a summer camp but they talk about how demigods outside of CHB don't often fare well. The metaphor there is those who are not getting help or accommodations are struggling. Because that's how that works! This is a fully intentional metaphor from the first series! CHB is never framed as being perfect for demigods, because one of the entire central conflicts of the series is Percy and Luke going back and forth about this flawed system meant to help and support them but still letting people fall through the cracks. The "claim your kids by 13" thing is a metaphor about how acknowledging a child's disabilities (and possibly getting a diagnosis) earlier/as early as possible means they will have more time to learn and build up resources and support for themselves to be able to use later in life. One of CHB's major flaws is that it can accommodate demigods to a certain point, but it can only do so much before those demigods have to leave (the metaphor being accommodating school systems when those disabled students do not have any other forms of accommodations in their lives.)
And that's why Camp Jupiter was framed as being so revolutionary for Percy because it had an environment acknowledging that this is not just a childhood disability, adults with ADHD/dyslexia exist too and still need and deserve accommodations, AND is a place where those accommodations are available. That's why Camp Jupiter and NRU are treated as such special and important things to Percy, because it's essentially Percy being shown this type of thing can and does exist and it is available to him. It is an option he never thought was possible. Percy never thought he'd be able to go to college because he would not be able to go through school without accommodations, but NRU proves otherwise.
The part that's absolutely stupid is Rick then proceeded to retcon NRU so that apparently it's not a full college and Percy still has to take classes at normal mortal college which DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF NRU EXISTING. Rick has fully retconned that demigods struggle past the ages of 16-18 when they're on their own (see above elaborated metaphors) and in doing so we have fully killed all symbolism in literally all of that. It's so stupid. And by having the plot of the CoTG trilogy entirely be that Percy is not actually allowed access to NRU in the first place because he is a son of Poseidon and has to do extra to even be accepted is stupid!
All that to say, I agree the marine biology feels like a huge cop-out and a disservice to his character by reducing him to just a son of Poseidon. The literal only reason why it's the default option people take for him is because oh, fish thing, fish guy. But I feel like everyone ignores the really obvious answer for what Percy would want to do which is - writing. Both his parents are writers/authors and he clearly admires that about them. Percy likes telling stories! He canonically is already a published author in-universe! That's what the books ARE in-universe! The first series fully exists in their universe and Percy is the author! This is explicit canonical information! Percy canonically has help physically writing it down (accommodations) but he is still the credited author! Percy is a writer! Already! Canonically! Why are we making him a marine biologist he already has a profession that ties into his character significantly more. Like you said, Percy likes helping people. That's what the books in-universe are supposed to be for! It's point blank at the beginning of the series! Book one! The thing everybody quotes all the time! The books exist because it is Percy trying to give advice to other demigods who don't know what's going on yet! It's Percy's writing down his experiences to help new demigods understand and contextualize their experiences so they can understand themselves better and figure out what's going on - WHICH IN ITSELF IS ALSO A METAPHOR ABOUT ADHD/DYSLEXIA! Because the core of the series has and always will be built around ADHD/dyslexia! Percy as a protagonist EXPLICITLY was created so that ADHD/dyslexic kids could see themselves as a hero!
Sorry that all was a very tangential rant but my point being: Absolutely. Percy in newer stuff in the franchise and in fanon is horrifically mischaracterized in ways that are functionally either fully ableist (shoutout TSATS for just outright claiming Percy is intentionally lazy and skips school out of disinterest, which is like the number one ableist attitude towards kids with learning disabilities) or a complete erasure of Percy's disabilities. Also I think he should be a writing major not a marine biologist.
#percy jackson#prev tags ->#i'm holding a microphone up to this post#i loathe the “percy doesn't care abt school” bc literally in the first book he wants to do well bc mr brunner believes in him...#which makes it abundantly clear that percy's problem is that he's not getting what he needs to do well not that he doesn't care#see: the teacher who asked him why he never studies for his spelling tests and percy's retaliation getting him expelled#it's not subtle! it is the premise of the story!#i'm pretty sure i've talked abt how percy would crush a lit class given the proper accommodations so. but author percy so true rt#and marine biology...literally percy *is* environmentally conscious since tlt but there are better options if rick wanted to go that route#bc marine biology is literally just. haha poseidon. besides percy can do environmental work regardless bc. hello! grover!#the malewife thing...like yeah percy does like kids! it's a plot point in a lot of the books that he will prioritize caring for others#but it's also something he can get from being a teacher. working at a daycare. holding the olympians accountable#he's allowed to have goals outside of annabeth! in fact treating him like he needs annabeth to tell him what to do is ableism!#and his lack of ambition/planning is bc he's been suicidal since the first book in the universe and no one has#ever seriously acknowledged it. partially bc rick decided that percy can't have ptsd despite writing him w ptsd in pjo#don't even talk to me abt it *explodes*#this wasn't mentioned but tangentially the “percy knows better than to challenge annabeth” is so disgusting to me#bc that's literally what percy and sally's relationship w gabe was like. can we use our fucking brains why are we running w this#especially combined w the whole “percy is stupid and annabeth is a girlboss” ableism it gets really gross really fast#don't even get me started on how annabeth's disabilities are erased so she can girlboss it up in both canon and fanon#percabeth is not the exception to rick's writing flaws or fandomization 🔮#ANYWAY prev tags i don't have room to copy them BUT YEAH#i have a compilation in my drafts of every adhd/dyslexia mention in hoo bc i was trying to find out if piper says she has adhd#and every scene in five books w nine povs is like. 18. including frank's bemoaning. for comparison the mentions in tlt ALONE is like 16.#morever percy is the only character to talk abt their personal experiences w dyslexia (HELLO???)#and percy annabeth and leo are the only characters to bring up how their adhd affects them personally so yeah um. ball dropped!#disabilities are an integral part of demigods like u cannot separate them doing so severely affects the entire world building#rick constantly ignoring how pjo showed both that the gods changed and could changed is infuriating to me#like treating zeus as a petulant child when in pjo he was the leader of the pta talking abt ppl who weren't represented on the panel UGH#rr crit
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babycharmander · 4 months ago
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(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)
I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.
I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).
So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:
"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:
"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"
I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:
"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"
It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.
Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...
"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."
He sees himself as a monster.
And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.
"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"
Which... speaking of him and Ford...
Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.
Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)
Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.
And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.
And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.
After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.
He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.
And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.
"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"
I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?
In short,
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[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]
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idontdrinkgatorade · 11 months ago
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i think i finally have a concept to replace one of my old OC concepts and believe it or not it actually came in a dream
#this is like. the third time this has happened#but this is the first time it's actually replaced something#i was planning on scrapping one of the iterations bc it didn't really fit enough for my liking and honestly. this one works better#it's a little more out there than the other iterations (as was the initial idea for it) but it fits better#plus i don't have to do a shit ton of worldbuilding because the second iteration was originally fantasy#meanwhile new-and-improved iteration two fits more with the world-building of the other iterations#plus it can kinda be considered a transition between the world of iteration 1 and the world of iterations 3-8#i just need a way for sayako to go insane in this one#i have no way to end iteration two on a solid basis because technically acanthus and sayako have to die and they have to die separately#acanthus isn't really that hard to come up with since i have his side of iteration 2 more solidified#but sayako is a little iffy#i want their reunion to be earlier than in other iterations. and the problem is that it seems similar to iteration 7#but it's not and it's not even inspired by it. just some things are similar#but like it's almost a completely different plot than the other iterations. iterations 3-5 still follow a similar plot#just with mild deviances. iteration 1 has a completely different plotline and iteration 2 will have a mildly different plotline#and also the other problem is that acanthus' death would really only work if sayako wasn't there. but they've reunited#i could do something like an escape. like sayako chooses to escape but acanthus is too afraid to. so she leaves him behind#but tbh that's like completely against her character. it would be more in line for her to sacrifice herself to let him go#and if she DID sacrifice herself it wouldn't lead to her death. she would just remain trapped#and acanthus wouldn't die either i mean he would be fucking depressed but he'd choose to continue on bc of sayako's sacrifice#if i had it so something happened to sayako (i.e. she dies) before any escape attempt then that would be too far in line with iteration 7#because the events would go down the exact same after that. except without sayako's weird little outward perception ability#WAIT. I COULD DO A WEIRD LITTLE HOMAGE TO ITERATION 1#AND GIVE SAYAKO HER PERCEPTION ABILITY#SHE THEN IS WEIRDED OUT BY THE WHOLE THING AND STARTS TO BECOME MORE AWARE OF HER SITUATION#FUCK. NO. THEN IT ENDS UP LIKE ITERATION 7. NAUR#MAYBE#I DON'T KNOW
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nanaslutt · 5 months ago
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• I will always catch you •
ʚ synopsis: You and Nanami play a game of tag, if he wins he spanks you
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ʚ cont: fem reader, spanking, fingering, dirty talk, rough sex, unprotected sex, overstimulation
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You stood with your hands perched on the back of the couch, your eyes not once straying from where they were glued to Nanami's opposite the couch from you, the only thing that separated the two of you besides the coffee table that sat in front of the couch. "Ten second headstart." You said, already feeling your heart start to pick up at the promise of Nanami chasing you around. 
You knew logically no matter how much time you asked for, he would always catch you in the end, but that's what you wanted, not that you would tell him that—even if he already knew. Nanami nodded, removing his hands from his pockets confidently, his mouth barely quirking up in a smile at the corners, the skin beside his mouth dimpling with it. "You won't catch me this time." Lie. "We'll see." Was his only reply before he raised his hands and started ticking down his fingers, letting you know he had started the timer.
You ran around the couch, passing him where he stood on the other side as you ran for the kitchen across the room, using the large island in the middle of it to separate him from you. It was your best bet to escape him for as long as possible, wait him out here, bait him to stalk you around the island, and shoot up the stairs for his office which had the only locking door in the house save for the bathroom, but that was too close to the kitchen, you needed more time to get away. 
You watched, eyes bright and heart racing as his fingers hit 1, then he closed his hand tightly, letting you know you were out of time before he started walking toward you calmly. Your smile grew larger the closer he got, as did his, though he was far more cocky and confident than yours which was playful and full of adrenaline. "Aren't you going to run, sweetheart?" Nanami asked, cocking his head to the side as he made his way to the kitchen, standing across the island from you.
"I told you I learned some new tricks, you won't catch me this time." You said confidently, moving slowly toward the corner of the island, trying to bait Nanami into following you. And sure enough, he did. He didn't reply to you, just started walking towards the side in which you were closest to him, making you walk away from him, the two of you slowly circling the kitchen island as you made your way back to the opening of the living room.
You knew not to avert your eyes to his and give away your plans, if he caught you looking towards the direction you were going to run, he would catch you—no doubt about it. Nanami was taller and faster, his long legs eating up the space between you like nothing whenever you ran from him, so you had to be smart about this. "We'll see if your tricks are enough." Nanami finally voiced, stopping in his tracks diagonal to you, him standing where you just were in the kitchen, your positions now reversed. 
You smiled at him in response, showing your teeth before you turned abruptly and took off sprinting across the living room. Your heart raced in your chest, the sound echoing through your whole body and making that the only thing you were able to hear. You wanted to turn around so bad and see how close he was, but you knew you couldn't afford to do so. You let out a laugh as you reached the banister on the stairs, gripping it tightly as you pulled yourself forward, using that momentum to run up them as quickly as you could. 
You tried not to think about how Nanami often went up the steps two at a time, so if he was running he could probably manage three or more... shit. Your adrenaline was still pumping, making you more assured of yourself as you reached the top of the stairs, sure he wasn't right on your tail. His office was in your sight already as you pushed off the wall and sprinted toward the end of the hall. You were mentally praising Nanami for his constant pushing to leave all doors in the house open unless they were being occupied so the air could flow freely between them, making it so none of the rooms were stuffy—meaning the door was wide open and all you had to do was grab that door and slam it like your life depended on it. 
You could only feel your own steps as you raced down the hall, surprised that he hadn't reached the top of the stairs yet, but that meant you had one, you finally had one. You reached the office and grabbed the handle before spinning yourself around and momentarily disorienting yourself before you were snatched into a pair of strong arms and hoisted over a shoulder with a scream of surprise. You felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest and run away at the shock.
How had he got you so fast? You were sure he wasn't on your trail, but apparently, that had been wishful thinking. "Nanami!" You laughed, kicking your legs against him, trying to free yourself as he held you over his shoulder with an iron grip, his arm locked tightly around the back of your thighs so you couldn't wiggle out of his grasp. Your laugh was cut short when a harsh smack was left on your ass, the sting making you whip your hands back and cover yourself from him. 
Nanami swiftly kicked the door shut behind him and stalked over to his desk, wrenching your hands away from your ass easily in his grip. "This is my reward for catching you, hands down." He said calmly, the deep baritone of his voice making you shiver as he pulled you off his shoulder and spun you away from him, using his body to press you against the edge of his desk and pushing you down on it with his hand on the middle of your back.
You weren't able to resist his moves, the speed of his actions making your body more pliant than you would've liked. The papers on his desk crumpled under your chest as you tried to push yourself up so you could stand again, and maybe try to attempt to run away, though you never had been successful at that before. Kento grabbed your wrists with both his hands and locked them behind your back with strength only he could possess, freeing himself a hand as he kept you at his mercy, rubbing his free hand against the swell of your ass.
"The new trick you tried didn't work so well." Nanami cooed, stating the obvious and making your face feel hot as he rubbed your loss in your face. "Were you planning to lock yourself in my office?" He asked, sliding his hand up and down the side of your body, making your skin prickle under your shirt. "Yeah, I was close too." You said defiantly, trying to gain back even a little bit of your ego. You had been so sure of yourself and now look at the position you ended up in.
"Mmm," Nanami hummed, the deep sound of it in his throat making your legs part willingly for him as he pressed his knee against the inside of your thigh and made you spread them. "What were you planning to do once you were in here?" He asked, making you pause. You looked around his office, thinking on his words. I don't know, relish in your victory? Bait him through the door? Write taunting notes about how he's a loser and slide them under the door for him to read?
"What do you think would happen when you opened the door? You couldn't stay in here forever." He asked confidently. "I'd come out because I would have won." You said quickly, the answer obvious, "There is no time limit on the game." He said, his fingers pushing up the back of your shirt and sliding against the skin of your back, pushing the fabric against your arms that were locked behind your back. The gears in your head started turning as you considered his words. 
"What do you mean?" You asked, turning your head as far to the side as you could manage to look at him from under your lashes. "I will always catch you, you can't escape me." You opened your mouth to complain, to whine about how the game has been rigged from the start, how there was no way you could ever win, when a loud slap against your ass stopped your words from coming, a different sound escaping you. Your hands balled into fists as you wiggled back against him, trying to find relief against the sting that never came. 
"That's not fair." You pouted. Nanami huffed out a laugh before his large hand rubbed across your backside, his fingers finding the hem of your shorts before pulling them down to pool around your ankles. "No, it's not." He agreed, another harsh smack making contact with your skin, making you jump. Nanami's warm hand stayed against your flesh rubbingaway the pain as he pressed closer to you, his crotch pressed against your left thigh. "But you don't mind as much as you're trying to make me think you do." He said assuredly. 
You felt a tick of annoyance run through you before it was almost completely snuffed out by another slap of his hand, this one followed by two more in quick succession against your other cheek. "Why would you think that?" You sighed, trying not to pant through your words and give in to him as much as you wanted to. "This whole game has been rigged the whole time." You complained, your eyebrows shooting up when he pressed his knee against your clothed cunt, making you press try to press your legs together--an action that was stopped by his knee that was knocked into your own, keeping you spread. 
Nanami gripped your ass in his hand before leaning over you, massaging the fat of your backside as his weight crushed you, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. He rut his hips against your thigh, letting you know how much he was enjoying his win before he pressed a kiss right under your ear. You shut your eyes, a gasp falling from your lips as all complaints left your brain, the only thing you could think of being the weight and scent of him as he consumed you entirely. 
"You like it when I chase you, but you like it when I catch you even more." He whispered against your ear, his voice making you clench around nothing. "You're so cocky." You breathed, making him breathe out a laugh before he placed a kiss on your neck, the top of your spine, your shoulder blade. You held your breath when his hand that gripped your flesh slid between your legs, your body welcoming him as you spread your legs wider for him.
You couldn't stop the gasp that fell from between your lips when he pushed aside your panties like they were never there and rubbed his fingers through your wetness before dragging them across your clit. "And you're soaked, sweetheart," Nanami replied, showing you just how right he was about how much you loved being caught by him. But you didn't need him to tell you that, you already knew. 
Nanami leaned back from crushing you with his body at the same time he slid his fingers back down to your entrance and pushed two thick fingers inside you like it was nothing—and it might've well been, his fingers getting swallowed up by your wet cunt with ease. The groan that left your lips made his cock twitch in response, the feeling of his hard length against the back of your thigh driving you crazy. 
He released your arms from being caged behind your back, which you immediately used to grab the edge of the desk to steady yourself. Just when you were about to beg him for more, he slapped you again, harder this time, your ass stinging at the impact while your pussy tightened around his fingers like a vice. Nanami echoed your moan with a groan of his own as he began thrusting his fingers in and out of you, the wet squelching of your cunt echoing throughout his office.
"I can feel how much you like it." Nanami groaned, his voice deeper and more assertive with his arousal prominent. "Fuck," You whined, wiggling your hips back to meet his thrusts." Smack, another slap making you whine, a fuzziness starting to build in your mind as he fucked you harder on his fingers. "Tell me how much you like it, honey." Nanami moaned, though it sounded more like a beg as he rubbed his hips harder against your ass, trying to relieve himself on you. 
"Kento," You whined, thrusting your hips back against him harder. A clinking of a belt and a zipper following the sound told you Nanami was ridding himself of his own pants. Another slap against your sore ass was all the motivation you needed to answer him, nodding against the desk. "I love it Ken, I love it, it feels so good." You whined, your clit throbbing at the lack of attention as you wiggled back, hoping he would relieve you soon. 
You cried out when he pulled his fingers out of you abruptly, "Shhh, don't cry-" His words ended as he slammed himself inside you in one thrust, the stretch and slight burn of the sheer size of him making your eyes roll back in your head as he started up a brutal pace inside you, giving you little time to adjust before his hand dropped to your clit just as you wanted while his other massaged your soon to be bruised ass. 
Without his knee between yours anymore, you were able to squeeze your thighs together around his hand as your orgasm wracked through your body, making you scream as he pounded it out of you, his cock hitting just the right spot inside your soft walls and prolonging your high as his expert fingers matched pace with his thrusts on your clit. "K-kento-" You whined, one of your hands wrapping around his wrist that kept rubbing your oversensitized clit, the pleasure of it bordering on pain. 
"I know, I know, honey." Nanami cooed, his voice soft but his actions a stark contrast as he slapped your ass twice, once on each cheek, never once faltering his rough thrusts inside you, "You have to let go, sweetheart. Let go of my hand." He instructed, making you shake your head back and forth violently, only resulting in his fingers rubbing faster back and forth along your clit, it was almost too much.
"T-too much, Kento- f-fuck-" You cried, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you tried to lean forward to escape the pleasure, but he just followed you with his thrusts, knocking hard into your g-spot each time he slammed inside you. "No, it's not, Iknow what you can take." He replied dismissively, massaging your ass in a circle. The two of you had a safeword that had been long established and never used, and you weren't thinking about using it now, so maybe he was right, maybe he did know how much you could take.
You simply whined in response, feeling another orgasm quickly creeping over you, no escape from it in sight. "Let go of my hand, sweetheart, I won't ask again," Nanami said through a groan, his hand briefly coming up to cradle your cheek in a sweet gesture before he slid it back down your body and slapped the back of your thigh. The niceness of his words and the roughness of his actions made it hard to combine them into one person, you almost wanted to curse him out for sounding so unaffected but you knew he wasn't fairing much better than you.
The small sounds of him grunting and cursing under his breath told you exactly how he was doing. Kento's thrusts started losing their rhythm as he lost himself inside you. Begrudgingly, you let go of his hand, your own shaking as you placed it back on the edge of the dest, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were gripping it. "Good girl, I have you, I-I'll take care of you." The sound of Nanami's words getting choked off by a groan made your clit throb under his fingers. It was a fucking headrush knowing how much this man lost himself to you. 
"Please-" You begged, unsure of what you were asking for but knowing you weren't going to last much longer. "Let it out, I'm right behind you." Nanami nodded, leaning over your body and wrapping an arm under your stomach, pulling your back tightly to his chest as he humped his cock in and out of you, the stretch and loss of him with each thrust making you go a little dumb in the head each time. 
"Cum-" You weren't even able to finish your sentence as you came with a cry at the same time Nanami placed his lips on your cheek and kissed softly, trailing those kisses over your shoulder and neck as his fingers and cock worked in perfect harmony to draw your orgasm out of you. "Coming, I'm coming- oh my god-" Kento groaned through his teeth, his hair tickling your face as he buried his head in your neck and ground his hips flush against yours. 
The circular movement of Kento's hips against your ass made your legs shake with sensitivity as his fat tip rubbed against your g-spot as he emptied his balls inside you. A warmth filled you from the inside out with each kick of his cock as he came, rope after rope of his seed filling you just like he did every time he fucked you. A loud, low, continuous groan left his throat as his balls throbbed with his release, his fingers finally ceasing their rubbing against your clit as he went still, basking in his orgasm while keeping himself inside you. 
You reached a shaky, weak amr behind you and grabbed the back of his neck, gently scraping your nails up along his neck and trimmed undercut of his hair. Nanami hummed in satisfaction before he lifted his head and found your lips with ease, kissing you gently and lovingly, like the two of you had all the time in the world and nothing would ever separate the two of you. 
He pulled away and looked at you, a content expression on his face. He leaned in to press one more kiss against your eyelid before he pulled back entirely, smoothing his hands down your sides as he pulled out of you, making the both of you moan at the missing contact of the other. You already wanted to whine about how empty you felt, but you knew you could have him whenever you wanted so that feeling didn't last long.
"My ass hurts." You complained, breaking the silence as you were now finally able to feel the full extent of his actions without a clouded mind. Kento laughed as he pulled your panties back in their rightful place, keeping his cum stuffed inside you as he patted his fingers over your cunt before dropping down and sliding your shorts up your legs. "I'm sorry, my love. I'll take responsibility." He said, a hint of amusement in his voice. 
"You gonna massage my ass all night?" You asked, pushing your body up and leaning against the back of the desk, not yet ready to fully rely on your shaky legs yet. "Of course, I was the one who bruised it after all." Kento nodded as he buckled his belt back into place before stalking forward and caging you in with his body. You wrapped your arms around his neck like you've done a thousand times and let him lean in to kiss your neck, his hands wrapping around your waist to help you stand.
"Good." You said, relishing in his kisses before speaking up again, grabbing ahold of his face and pulling him back so you could look at him properly before you asked your question. "Was the game really rigged this whole time or were you just saying all that to be sexy?" Nanami smiled at that, his own hands grabbing your cheeks as he placed a kiss to the top of your head, to lessen the blow of his inevitable answer you knew was coming. " You know it is, I will always catch you." 
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a-b-riddle · 7 months ago
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Part Four
Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.
"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.
"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."
"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.
"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."
You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.
"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.
Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.
It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.
It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.
In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.
"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."
"You think it was a stunt?"
"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."
"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."
"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."
"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."
"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."
You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.
You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.
"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”
For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.
Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?
"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.
You were finally angry.
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