#This was like a few months ago.

[lil-lemon-snails]

sometimes you just need to hear it v some stills below the cut v

[claypigeonpottery]

can’t sleep, carving instead

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[keymintt]

as i stand plainly in the shade, unseen

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[the-scungles-of-crungles]

I'll never forget the time I was telling my dad about my zelda AU idea and after I described the AU's version of link, he was just like "so basically alladin"

And like. He's not wrong, ,,

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[jedi-starbird]

Rex: So General Kenobi, how come you speak mando'a?

Obi-Wan: I've always been interested in the culture and I spent a year on Mandalore for a mission in my youth :)

Rex: I see, what about you, General Skywalker?

Anakin: Huh? Oh Obi-Wan used to drop me off in mando daycare when he went to get laid in little Keldabe, fun times, they taught me how to headbutt someone.

[anophiles]

his fiancé 😌

Hubert can commit some heinous crimes as a little treat ♥

[cyber333angel]

Can I PLEASEEEEE have some stepdad Logan!!!!

a few ppl asked for this and ofc I had to deliver!!

STEP-DAD!LOGAN X READER

TW/FAUXCEST

step-dad logan coming to your room to punish you for walking around in the house with your short skirts and tight shirts that make your boobs spill out of the top of them, just taunting him every time you walk by. “you like acting like a fucking slut trying to get my attention in these tight little fuckin outfits huh?” squeezing your mouth shut so your moans don’t leave your room, barely being quiet as if your mother wasn’t on her way home. his cock was buried as deep as it could possibly be, being so rough so the message really gets through to you. his hips rocking up into you as you whine out a little, “m’s-sorry logan won’t do it again..!” he chuckles, he’s gonna fuck you like this regardless of what you wear — probably finding any other reason to put you in your place other then an excuse like your clothes. “better be sorry, next time I won’t be so fuckin nice.” and you try to nod from the grip on your jaw, you feel him reach a hand around to your breast, pinching at your nipples — the sting just adding to the pleasure. logan even feels your cunt clench on his dick knowing it was a reaction from the pinching, wanting to tease you about it. “yeah you like that? just needed daddy to fuck this pretty little pussy huh?” he says as he reaches his hand down to your cunt, rubbing at your clit. your legs almost give out on the bed from how good you feel, eyes going half lidded as your mind goes blank. your slur out a whiny, “wan-wanna cum..” logan speeds up the pace of his hips he doesn’t answer for a second, suddenly slithering up a hand to your cheek and giving you a light slap. “is that how you fucking ask me? am I so deep inside you that you forgot your manners?” you shake your head immediately, changing your choice of words. “no said i want to cum please daddy!” and he just grumbles, still pounding away at your cunt and rubbing circles around your clit. you feel your legs shaking as you get closer to your orgasm, “there you go..” logan says seeing you cream on his dick with a cry, and a few more thrust into your cunt logan cums deep inside you. burying his cock as far as he could up your cervix and you push at his stomach babbling little nothings. he pulls out, cum dripping out of your hole as he picks you up, pulling you into his lap. reassuring you about how good you took him.

[sparrowlucero]

this is the iconic dinosaur horror jurassic park wishes it was

[texassbian]

deo volente!

[vynnyal]

I've been having a delightful time stumbling over my emojis being used in random servers, so here's more

[phantasymistart]

p&p 2005 screencap study

[krikzilla]

Lmfao yall still like Southpark?? Could never be me..