#This was a impulse drawing at 4am

[home-halone]

a short rest

[juhatake]

4am draft. 4am Chan.

The movement of the mattress wakes me up. I wasn't really having a deep sleep, so any movement would have woken me up anyway. I tilt my head a little to see his bare back, Chan always had the habit of sleeping only in boxers, since he gets too hot at night.

I look at his back and sigh. I raise my hand and run the tips of my fingers over his spine in a soft, almost imperceptible caress. I can see how the hairs stand up on his spine, maybe my hands are too cold or maybe it's the impulsive touch that surprised him even when he's asleep.

I continue my caresses all over his back, drawing patterns that lead nowhere. At one point his muscles tense and he rolls over, facing the ceiling. His eyes are closed but by the rhythm of his breathing I know he's awake. "Can't you sleep?" he whispers in the middle of the darkness, his voice hoarse and worn. "I'm not sleepy." I answer. He smiles still without opening his eyes. He puts his arm over my waist to pull me to his body. He buries his head in the crook of my neck and begins to kiss that sensitive area.

In a quick but gentle movement he changes our positions. Chan is on top of me. His arms on either side of my head while he leans his weight on his elbows so as not to crush me. Finally opens his eyes and looks at me. His sleepy gaze, his heavy eyelashes and his vague smile.

Chan goes down and kisses my eyelids, my cheekbones and my cheeks, a mischievous smile crosses his features when he looks at my lips. "I am sleepy. If I kiss you the way you like, will you sleep a few more hours?" he tries to propose a deal, which I pretend to think about although the answer is very clear. "Yes."

His full and soft lips continue like a butterfly kissing my face, from my forehead to my chin. He stops a few millimeters from my lips. Tempting me as he always enjoys doing. After torturing me for a few seconds, finally kisses me. Soft and tender, as if he's afraid of breaking me. His tongue caresses my lower lip, asking permission to enter. As soon as my mouth is slightly open, he smiles, letting his expert tongue slide in. I sigh against his mouth. I'm on cloud nine.

Chan brushes our noses and looks me in the eyes again. "As much as I'd love to continue, we should sleep," whispers before lightly nibbling on my lower lip.

He curls up against me again, his body almost on top of mine, leaving space only so I can breathe. But I like it that way. And I'll always like it.

₊˚⊹ ⁀➴ ᰔ‧₊˚⊹

A little reminder that I'm not a native English speaker, any kind of comment, correction or note is welcome if it's with respect and understanding<3

with love, juliette ☆

[electromignion]

Art study but make it Bridgewater✨

Suddenly I’ve been wanting to do an art study so my brain decided that the best thing to do while making an art study was to draw Jeremy Bradshaw so here you go 🫶 (It’s 4am now so yeah it was such an impulsive decision jdjdjdjd)

As always he has his little ace badge (Jeremy being ace soothes my heart so much) and the little Bridgewater hiking club badge (which is the design of the official merch! Crying in not have been able to buy it when it was available so I love to put it everywhere) and I did grey hair around Jeremy’s temple because I thought that it was a neat addition to his physical appearance!

The art study was around the art of the American artist J. C. Leyendecker, and as a lot of people I really love his art style! It’s my first serious art study so I tried to look at a lot of his characters and see how he was functioning in terms of shading and colours (I think it made me bolder in terms colour for this piece so that worked super well), the part I struggled the most was the hair but for a first try I won’t complain!!

This Leyendecker piece was the main model/inspo for the fanart and then I adapted it to make Jeremy!

And I know this is the third Bridgewater drawing I post today JDVDJDJD the brainrot is real what can I say /lh /j

[br4inr0tx]

やあ!元気ですか? I hope your well! not sure if you remember me but Im Sure did a matchup for you on this blog? @toyafreethoughts but anyways I wanted to send in a request if that's cool with ya, and I would like a romantic matchup for hazbin hotel please! anywho~ let me introduce myself!

my name is joey, I use he/him pronouns, I'm transgender aromatic bisexual and unlabeled, I have adhdism and BPD and I'm a very cool person😎/hj

personality: im a ENTP and I'm very extroverted but at first when I meet someone I may come off/be awkward with them but it'll wear off eventually if we stick together right away, but I love, and I mean I LOVE to ramble about my interests, gossip, etc, I have positive and negative traits ofc but lets start with the positive ones hmm? So I'm highly attuned to the smallest details, and I'm often the first to notice patterns in a system or a group of people. I tend to enjoy strategizing, problem-solving, and brainstorming new ways to complete everyday tasks. Now for the negative ones now When I'm bored or feeling trapped, I become anxious, scattered, and impatient. I may make impulsive decisions or take needless unnecessary risks, I also cry when I feel alone or completely overwhelmed and one more thing that I'm not proud of at all is that I vape a lot when my anxiety goes through the roof. Now anyways with that, I have a huge passion for dancing, like I love it, I enjoy doing parapara dancing is a traditional thing where I dance to tech/euro music, but I also do regular dancing I love vocaloid a lot and I learnt how to dance to + boy recently and its pretty easy for me lol but I would love to dance with my partner and it can be slow dancing, etc idc anything PLEASE!!! also I enjoy flirting with my partner in different languages like Japanese and Spanish the nicknames I love to use would be ハニー (hanii), 恋人 / こいびと (Koibito), Mi amor and Mi alma, I have all the love languages I'm serious lmaoo, for dates it would be like going to a movie theater and then afterwards we can go get dinner, or personal for me I would like to go to an arcade and the shop for a little and whatever my partner wants really lolz xP

appearance: I'm 5'6, i have a rectangular body, I have dyed black boy hair with bangs, inhale brown/hazel eyes, I wear glasses, I also have piercings on my nose, lips, ears, eyebrow, etc 😭, I also wear a shit load of styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, cyber goth, mall goth, and nu goth), gyaru (himekaji, hime gal, rokku, manba, banba, agejo, kogal, tsuyome and kigurumin) scenemo/emo, and vkei ouji and lolita, I usually wear those for fun, when I'm going out somewhere, social media, etc but when I'm at home/school/work I wear street clothing type of stuff like a sweatshirt and baggy pants hehehe, also if I were a demon in hazbin hotel id be looking like one of these mfs

hobbies/interests: anime/manga, gaming, cosplaying, fashion, art (painting, drawing, pottery, digital art, etc) learning new languages (Japanese and Spanish), cooking, volleyball, dancing, singing, listening to music/making music, playing piano/electric guitar , writing, collecting stuff(clothes, seashells, etc), shopping and more on

likes: vocaloid/utau, hajime hinata (danganronpa), a silent voice, albedo (genshin impact), lemon demon, felix kranken (twf), bread, sharks, christmas music/christmas in general, scp 3008 (roblox game), get a snack at 4am (roblox game), musicals, hotels, my friend, enstars (switchP + more), rhythm games, doukyuusei, mystic messenger, twf, genshin, a silent voice, lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, breaking bad eddsworld, homestuck, horimiya, hxh, the great gatsby, saiki k, hamilton (sadly, im sorry.)

dislikes: negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", and spiders.

also these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), miyamura izumi (horimiya), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa) and more....!

どうもありがとう ！¡Que tengas un gran resto de tu día o noche!

こんにちは! 私は元気です. you are so freaking cool. plus, we’re both dancers?? so cool! sorry for getting to you a little later then usual, my dance recital is this weekend, so it’s been very hectic. though a don’t remember sending you a matchup? that is, unless you haven’t gotten to mine yet, which is completely fine; please take your time. nevertheless, to your matchup!

warnings: Unhealthy coping mechanisms (Vaping), Discussion of mental disorders (ADHD, Autism, BPD.), Arachnophobia

your Hazbin Hotel matchup is.. Charlie Morningstar !!

• I think you would get along best with Charlie!

• While I do headcanon her with ADHD, She’s very patient in her own sort of way. She’ll find ways to distract herself or find things to do in order to wait for things to happen; mainly with squishies I imagine. She understands where you’re coming from when you can’t stay focused because of your disorders, but is willing to show you some techniques she’s picked up to help her!

• She’s very quick to rush to your side and help you whenever you need it.

• Charlie doesn’t see anyone as awkward, so even if you feel that way just know she doesn’t see it like that.

• She loves to ramble! You can ramble together!

• She appreciates how observant and attentive you are, as it makes it easier to help patients/guests at the hotel (that is if you wish to help or work there. If anything, I think you’d be great advice!)

• You’d be a big help to her with any issues that plague her. She has so much on her mind; with you making simple solutions means a lot.

• When you have times where you’re scattered, she’s quick to jump to you and calm you down. Be it a nice hug or verbal reassurance.

• She does live in hell of course. I’d imagine vaping is a normal occurrence. On another note, she’s the owner of the Happy Hotel! She’d absolutely help you seek other coping mechanisms if you wish.

• We obviously see how much of a singer and dancer Charlie is, and as I said before I headcanon her as a theater kid!

• That being said she’d love to dance with you. Since she’s a princess she must know how to slow dance as well!

• The first time you used a nickname for her she stared blankly at you. Her heart was melted, even if she didn’t know what it meant. She’d soon learn what your nicknames mean eventually.

• When the hotel is in the hands of other managers, she’d have days to just focus on you. Date days! She’d love to have a day just focused on the two of you hanging out and doing whatever you wish specifically.

• She wears some sort of business goth (I think?), but I think feminine mall goth suits her well (Think like the band Kittie). She’s more on the cutesy and comfortable side of mall goth, but only dresses like this outside to hotel, mainly on date days.

• She indulges in lots of your hobbies by buying gifts that correlate with them! Since she is busy with the hotel and can’t do everything unfortunately.

• Silly headcanon, but she’d literally kicks Angel out for as long as you’re in the room knowing you don’t like spiders, but she’ll fail to acknowledge he barely looks like one aside from his long legs and multitude of arms. Maybe you appreciate it, maybe you don’t. I’ll leave it to you.

• You mean so much to Charlie, and she hopes it’s the same!

[uroborosymphony]

Ilana & Jiho

The lights are dimmed. In the background, murmurs and whispers lacing with the smoke of cigars. Sundays are slow, the regulars have claimed their usual table in the center of the speakeasy, the perfect night and setting to dissect and discuss business. Men mostly, of a certain age, gathered around the kangpae's attention. In the south of the city many traffics take place under her eyes. She is not unknown on the underground scene - on the contrary. The songstress, the fallen angel, the serpent, the whisperer. She has gained her reputation, for always associating with the right ones, for the many betrayals she has committed as well. An opportunist. One not to trust. Her goal was never to shine or make a name here but only to get everything she needed to take care of herself and her daughter : money. She is in her signature red dress, catwalking, standing up from the kangpae's table to join the bar's counter. She comes and goes, in between chats and drinks during her breaks, gracing the room with her voice whenever her heels bring her back under the spotlights. 4am. Her stage was reaching an end as the songstress now had to spend the following hours of the night waiting for her paycheck and perhaps tips if the mob was feeling generous. Behind the bar, Jiho. She takes place in front of him, on one of the high chair made of black velvet. "Mmm I'm exhausted of these business talks, I need a drink." She confides, rolling her eyes. She then rests her elbows down the counter, her long hair cascading at the side of her forearms as her dark eyes are resting on him. Eyes as deep as the raven of her hair and the fires in her perfume. "You don't get involved, do you?"

Her voice is deep and calm, there is a tranquil smile on her lips. She's thankful for his presence. He is a kind man, Ilana knows that. A gentle soul. But oh, don't good hearts always end up here? Tainted. Scorched. In the cold arms and bloody guts of Itaewon. On some days she is afraid he might disappear, one day. After finding his answers, after taking care of his debts, singing up for a better life with his girlfriend and leave her behind. It wasn't that the songtress absolutely needed someone to survive in this environment, she was less on her pride however, more enclined to ask for help, for company in her darkest days and nights. "As the days are passing, I have been realizing something..." Her voice echoes in some sort of a whisper as her eyes connect and follow his actions closely from above the marble. Ilana's struggles were known and overknown. Whenever Jiho would come over to spend an entire afternoon with Luna, helping her with homeworks as Ilana had to disappear for hours, attending places of shade and secrets - closed doors it was better for her to keep away from her daughter. Moments of calm like this one were rare. Discussing Jiho's issues was rare, too. She wanted in a little more, perhaps be there for him the way he was for her. The only difference was how unreliable she could be, unstable but her heart was in it. "I can help you, too. I know, my methods might not be the best but," And she laughs, with that slightly deranged laughter of hers. Of a woman who fights for her life yet in an impulsive way, as if there was no tomorrow. "Family is a gift Mother Nature has given us. Skin of your skin, blood of your blood. I remember being young... and mad. Furious that after all this love she has given me, she would simply take it back the way it pleases her. To just... take my family away, leave me all by myself. " The corner of her lips are drawing lines, of saddened smiles, dammed memories, tragedies of the past. "And then I finally understood, it is not Nature who wants to watch you ache and suffer. It's humans themselves, with that sick pleasure of theirs." Twisted, when thinking about what she did to the father of her daughter, hidding Luna from him, going away, never looking back. Wasn't she one of these humans, too? "What happened to him? Your brother."

            FOR @ORIONIN

[flowers-n-felines]

((I made an impulse art choice tonight and drew one (1) Jotaro Kujo as a care bear. Mostly cuz @shimmychimmy activated the neurons in my mind that went "yes combine your interests right now" and here we are. Starry was planned to be drawn but I am typing this up at 4AM so no I will not continue to draw until the sun rises thanks--))

[wisebilly]

me and impulsively drawing at 3/4am before going to sleep have the worlds greatest unresolved sexual tension of all time im srs

[pink-koi-lovejoy]

Character Name: „Koi Lovejoy!”

Age: „Sixteen!”

Any unique mannerisms or gestures: „I tap my fingers when I’m happy, similar to a dog wagging their tail.”

Their morning routine: „Wake up. Fall asleep. Repeat 4 times from 4am-7am.”

Their hobbies: „Anything to do with the arts. Drawing, instruments, etc.”

Any special skills: „hm…I make therian gear? Is that a skill?”

Pet peeves: „Ugh. My highest pet peeve is when people leave gum under chairs or tables. I grab the bottoms sometimes and I accidentally get gum on me- ew.”

Things they are bad at: „I have horrible anim with a bow. That’s one thing that my ‘pa didn’t pass down…”

Answer the below questions on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the first word and 10 being the second.

Are they...

Nice ------ Mean 2

Brave ------ Cowardly 5

Pacifist ------ Violent 4

Thoughtful ------ Impulsive 7

Agreeable ------ Contrary 4

Idealistic ------ Pragmatic 7

Frugal ------ Big Spender 4

Extroverted ------ Introverted 7

Collected ------ Wild 7

Short Answer Questions

What would they die for? „Friends or Family!” What would they kill for? „Revenge. Or…friends and family?”

Who, if asked, would say they are your character's closest friend? „Hm… I’m pretty close to Will. But we’re technically related so I don’t know if that counts. Me, Nico, and Leo are pretty close! I’d do anything for them.”

HAPPY THURSDAY USERS!!! We're so so so SO EXCITED to introduce a new Thursday activity for you!!! From now on, every other Thursday will be Tell Us About It Thursday, and we will provide profiles or questions to answer about your muses/characters!!! We hope you will all enjoy it!!!! We're starting off with another in-depth character profile! Feel free to add yours to this post, or make a post of your own!! We'll reblog our favorites as we see them!!!

ɪɴ ᴅᴇᴘᴛʜ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ, ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ 𝟸

Character Name: Age: Any unique mannerisms or gestures: Their morning routine: Their hobbies: Any special skills: Pet peeves: Things they are bad at: Answer the below questions on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the first word and 10 being the second. Are they... Nice ------ Mean Brave ------ Cowardly Pacifist ------ Violent Thoughtful ------ Impulsive Agreeable ------ Contrary Idealistic ------ Pragmatic Frugal ------ Big Spender Extroverted ------ Introverted Collected ------ Wild

Short Answer Questions

What would they die for? What would they kill for? Who, if asked, would say they are your character's closest friend?

[blubglub]

Even icelandic hunters, need cuddles from their love

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

okay ficlets prompts! "graffiti" for rose

- 🐸

@arolou Thanks for the prompts my friend! This one takes place in the Rags and Riches verse/series I have with @a-tomb-with-a-view. Gist is Modern AU, Bobby and Willie are very rich, Ray and Rose are very poor, they all love each other (though this particular fic doesn't have Willie in it). This is some of the origins! I hope you enjoy :) TW: mentions of a gun, but it's unloaded and not fired.

Send me prompts!

In the starry silence of an L.A. night, Rose shakes their can of spray paint with practiced ease.

“All clear,” Ray murmurs in her ear, standing back to back with her as he stands guard, camera in hand. “For now.”

Rose knows he has faith in her, because he always has and always will, but faith doesn’t make him any less apprehensive about her latest venture: graffiti-ing an anti-capitalist manifesto onto Trevor Wilson’s garage door.

“He’s a musician,” they remind Ray, as if they didn’t give him her whole rant on the subject three times already. “He should be using his money and influence for good, not to fund right-wing homophobic pigs. Especially—”

“Especially when his son is so visibly closeted it hurts,” Ray finishes for her. “I know, tesoro. Just finish up, please?”

She hmmphs, mock-annoyed, but obediently starts her work. She used to need stencils for a project of this size— even just a handful of words needed to be centered and spaced correctly or it drove them up the walls, but they quickly learned that putting up the stencils and taking them down again wasted precious not getting caught time, so she trained herself to sufficiently eyeball it.

Now, a swirly rainbow Capitalism is Cruel and Unusual Punishment only takes her five minutes and a steady hand.

Their hand is plenty steady, but apparently five minutes on Trevor Wilson’s property is too many.

She doesn’t hear the window open. Ray must not either, focus on the front door, the end of the driveway, and capturing Rose’s latest masterpiece at just the right angle.

“There,” she says, satisfied, as she steps back to admire her handiwork. “Perfect.”

“You won’t make it on the news,” a voice says from above them.

Rose jumps, an involuntary squeak escaping the back of her throat. Ray almost drops his camera in his haste to draw his dad’s gun from his waistband, but even once he’s got the weapon in his hands, they tremble.

It’s not loaded, anyway, and even if it were, Ray wouldn’t know how to shoot it. The boy leaning out the open window above the garage does not look intimidated.

“If that’s what you’re going for,” he continues flatly. “Trevor’s groundskeeper gets here at 4am, he’ll wash that off before anyone ever sees it.”

“Rose,” Ray whispers urgently. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

But Rose is nothing if not impulsive. Worse than that, they’re intrigued. This boy doesn’t sound scared of them, or even angry. If anything, he sounds bored.

Plus, Rose recognizes him, even in the dark. She knows his voice from MTV.

“Aleja esa cosa,” she hisses, gesturing at Ray’s useless pistol. Then she calls softly up to the window, “Why aren’t you calling the police? Or waking up your father?”

His shadowed form tenses. Ray’s breath catches audibly.

Rose grins, a certainty flowing though her that things are about to get interesting. “Well, Bobby Wilson?” they call up to the rich boy in the window. “Aren’t you going to invite us in?”

--

Taglist:  @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles  @teenagedirtbag-dot-jpeg @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @shrimp-colours @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @julieandthequeers @joyandthephantoms @it-tastes-like-lizard @jatpfs

[lil-hamilton]

Sometimes I think about starting a hamster YouTube channel but then I remember my crippling anxiety and I much prefer Not That™

[hxrpooner]

Oh yay!!!

Your driving and cooking headcanons had me cry laughing on the floor since they, so unexpectedly, fitted the valorant agents >< so I really wanted your input on outside of training physical activities! (aside from what Riot already gave us like Omen knitting, Raze dancing and listening to music etc)

I just wanna thank you for even considering this!!>< Your stuff really makes me laugh and happy!

hmmm, let me seeee... agent hobbies...

- viper keeps some potted plants, but only cactuses. they're prickly, like her. plus they're the only things she can remember to water often enough to keep alive.

- it's already been confirmed canon that killjoy plays league of legends. i feel like she'd also probably play DOTA as well... i get that vibe from her. ironically though i'm not sure if she would be into first person shooters; maybe she gets enough of that in her real life that she wouldn't want to play it on her offtime

- she might also play stuff like Warcraft/Starcraft, and maybe some sillier stuff like Overcooked. she has very strong opinions on Warcraft III: Reforged

- killjoy hacking in video games...?

- i said in the driving post that phoenix probably is into old cars and i stand by that i think. he probably nerds out about it sometimes with brimstone.

- we can see in yoru's music video (that song sucks donkey ass btw) that he rides a motorcycle, which i think suits him pretty well. i think he's probably into customizing his bike -- it definitely has a custom paint job. 

- skye canonically does woodworking 

- chamber gives me the vibes of a rich kid who took music lessons growing up, so he probably plays the piano (and possibly the violin). he probably doesn’t get many opportunities to do it, nowadays.

- neon keeps a sketchbook. she does some graffiti-style art (i’m not sure she would do actual graffiti, though). she talks about it with raze sometimes 

- raze, jett, neon, and phoenix compete at mariokart. neon usually wins.

- sova has a secret stash of trashy romance novels 

- astra makes her own clothes. she has a tendency to impulse buy cool fabrics.

- obviously cypher's main hobby is spying on everyone else in the protocol and getting the latest gossip

- i feel like cypher has a Thing about always getting everyone the best birthday gifts possible (by spying on them to find out what they want). it's creepy but kind of endearing

- skye is insane about exercising. also canon. 4am morning runs. 

- i've mentioned sova watching nature documentaries in another post. i feel like maybe he and sage would watch the marine life documentaries together

- reyna does makeup stuff and likes to go get her nails done. she’s probably big on spa activities 

- i think the idea of breach making miniatures is really funny LOL. maybe he started doing it semi-ironically to develop his arms’ fine motor skills but at some point he just started doing it for fun 

- breach is into researching conspiracy theories. he doesn't REALLY believe most of them, but he kind of half-believes some of them for funsies. he probably shares this with killjoy 

- jett plays MMOs, but she’s too embarrassed to tell anyone about it. she has some super decked out high level characters 

- killjoy trolls internet forums

- reyna secretly plays animal crossing. you won't live long enough to tell anyone if you find out, though

- brimstone has a baseball card collection

- yeah brimstone is a sports guy. yeah woo football!!!! 

- i'm not really sure what kay/o would like to do besides training and cooking! maybe he draws? i feel like he probably has trouble with his sense of identity and what he likes to do, given that he's a robot

- omen has one of those miniature zen gardens that sage gave him as a gift. outwardly he scoffs about it but he treats it with the utmost care.

- viper watches tv dramas. sometimes she watches them with reyna. reyna prefers period dramas.

- astra draws and writes in a journal

- phoenix still has an old hot wheels collection from when he was younger. maybe he occasionally still adds to it if he sees a rare one he doesn’t have yet 

- neon does extreme roller skating 

- viper has a line about losing a bet with brimstone, so i imagine that brimstone, viper, sage, and maybe cypher have a betting pool about the other agents’ tomfoolery. they have a large pool going regarding who has a crush on who.

- sage probably tries to act like she’s above it a lot of the time but can’t resist participating.  

- cypher has like. a conspiracy wall of all the potential romantic relationships between the agents. 

- phoenix is trying to learn the guitar (maybe partly because he thinks it’ll make him look cool) but he’s not very good at it yet 

- yoru swims 

[thestalkerbunny]

Please draw Tex the undead armadillo.

Tex is Romero's familiar. He found this dead armadillo on the side off the highway near the hospital he frequently had to go in and out of for treatments. And on weird impulse, he decided to practice his budding Necromancy skills on this Armadillo and make a horrible familiar. (He tried to pass Tex off as an emotional support animal but was turned down as 'it's a fucking ARMADILLO get it out of this sterile environment.')

Tex is fed on a diet of Embalming Chemicals to ensure he kept fresh and preserved (as well as any little bugs or lizards he apparently can get a hold of) and similar to a chinchilla, he can sorta hold stuff in his hands if you just position it right.

He tends to spend his days sleeping in Romero's room or in his bag except for exactly 4am in which he gets the zoomies and all you can hear is Tex running laps around Romero's concrete floor in the basement of his house. Romero claims Tex enjoys country music, Nascar and apparently the sensor delight that is chewing on floral Styrofoam.

Romero's step father doesn't like Tex and thinks he's a disgusting little thing and he better not catch Tex anywhere that isn't Romero's basement.

[whirlwiinded]

Not me impulse drawing ship art at 4am.

[laineystein]

“This is new.”

The Boy™️ and I went out for his birthday on Thursday night. His favorite restaurant happens to be close to where we both grew up so we drove through the same neighborhoods that raised us - streets we walked to get to school or back and forth from the houses we grew up in. Of course, we ran into three separate people we knew. This seems to be a trend lately. It’s like our past, every little detail we’ve been so good at keeping hidden, keeps rearing its head, demanding to be dealt with. One of the people we ran into was a teacher we both had in yeshiva and they commented “oh, this is new!” And we both smiled and laughed and wished them a good shabbat. We didn’t talk about it then but we spent Shabbos together – alone – and we spent most of the night unpacking all of it.  

 This wasn’t the first time we’d heard it. It’s all anyone seems to say lately. When I had a ride to the airport at 4am and my mother strong-armed me into admitting who it was she said “oh, that’s new”. When his Modox parents were a bit passive-agressive toward me earlier in the summer because suddenly I was *everywhere*, I finally got his mother to admit that she worried about our relationship simply because it “came out of nowhere”…because “it’s new” and a lot of our “decisions seem impulsive.”

  No. This isn’t new. We’re not new. Our relationship is 15 years old. This has been a thing - many things, actually - for a decade and a half. I have been in love with this man for half of my life but to the world, even the people we love the most, yes - this is new. And I can’t argue with them. We don’t. We have no idea how to handle this. 

  We were fifteen and sixteen. Simply put - being a teenager means being young and dumb and somehow being terrified and craving happiness in equal amounts. He was (is) my best friend’s brother and they’re extremely close. On top of that, he’s Modox and I wasn’t and am not. His family never treated me differently, even when other families did - especially early on at yeshiva when it was very clear that I was raised differently than most of my classmates. But I loved them and they loved me. They loved me as their daughter’s best friend. It didn’t make sense to explain that I was more than that with their son - especially because we didn’t know what that was. 

We were teenagers! We were intense and fearless and manic and we were absolutely terrified of letting anyone down. We’re both the first born in our immigrant Jewish families. There has always been so much pressure on each of us to be the best - the smartest, the most hardworking. For him - the most devout. We both had to marry well and have big Jewish families. We were the product of generations of trauma - children and grandchildren of families that had consistently escaped persecution and now we were seemingly well adjusted teenagers in America, finally free to live the lives everyone who came before us fought so hard for. It was a lot of pressure, all the time. But together? No pressure. The things I struggled to tell his sister - how much I hated my yeshiva uniform, how marriage and children weren’t in the forefront of my mind yet…everything I couldn’t tell anyone else in the world, I told The Boy™️.

That’s where the name comes from - and those of you who used to follow my studyblr know I talked about him often. I never talked about him by name. His sister always thought I had someone in Israel that I had this big crush on. And I did. When he was in Israel with me I had a huge crush on him. But I loved him in Brooklyn too. I loved him when we traveled to France and Amsterdam and Italy. I spent four out of my five IDF civilians (time off from the military) with him and no one knew. We have lived so many lives together. We’ve experienced so many things, side by side, and no one had any clue. And we watched each other love other people and try to make it work with people that weren’t us. But ultimately he was the one who helped me through breakups and med school. He was the person that literally saved my life in 2020 when my shifts at the hospital during COVID had me so mentally and physically exhausted that I could barely get out of bed…literally. Then when things calmed down I realized, it didn’t matter what was going on in the world, he’s always been my biggest supporter and I cannot and will not live without him and the fact that we weren’t sharing this thing that made us both so undeniably happy just felt ridiculous and unfair.

But we didn’t know how to even explain everything so we kind of…didn’t? It was never “this is my best friend and we’re in love” it was “I’m going to Israel and he’s coming too”. We alternated Shabbos between his parents’ house and mine. All the while everyone is hesitant, almost nervous - this is new, this is new, this is new. It’s not new. But this is the first time we’re admitting how we feel and what we are to the people we love. He’s not just my friend’s brother. He’s not even just my best friend or my boyfriend. He’s the man I want to marry and have a family with. I get why our families are so confused. They have no idea all we’ve done and how so many of the things they celebrate in us - our jobs, our successes, our faith - is because of the other.

  So we have to start being honest. They’ll never truly get it if they can’t see how deep it is, if they can’t acknowledge the history. But how do we explain it? We are who we are because once upon a time we were both really struggling with our faith. We thought we were terrible Jews because we didn’t want the things our parents wanted. I didn’t believe in tzniut. Some days he didn’t either. We were doing things we were told kids in yeshiva don’t do! We were having sex and smoking weed and going to bars in the city because we could. But it wasn’t about being a part of the goy world. We didn’t want that. We just wanted to be who we were in the Jewish world and we had no idea how to do that. For so long it felt like it was us against the world - Jewish and gentle. We didn’t fit in with either but we could be who we wanted to be, together, in this weird in-between. He’s safety. He always has been. When I have a thought and I know no one in the world will understand it, I know he’s the exception. We always felt like we were judged, even inadvertently by people who swore they were being open minded and supportive, but together that was never a worry. So how do we explain that? 

We don’t. We won’t. We need to be honest about some things: about how far our friendship goes back, about the depth of it - then and now. Everyone else is free to make their own assumptions. They can draw their own conclusions or they can just learn to accept us as we are now. The weird part is that everyone has been much more accepting than we imagined - especially his sister. She loves our relationship so much, to the point that we feel bad for keeping it from her for so long. But we don’t know if we’d be who we are now if we hadn’t lived this other life together. We weren’t wrong. Having this one thing in life that is untouched by the world was magical. We still have days where we miss it, especially now as questions of marriage and children flood in. But we’ve agreed that we’ll be honest with our children. All of it. 

I guess a lot of this for us wasn’t just about *us* but about who each of us are as people. We’ve always worn so many labels. We’re completely opposites but we have fundamental similarities. We both love being Jewish. We’re loud and proud, unapologetic Jews. But we weren’t always! And the secret nature of our relationship aside, that’s what’s the most difficult for us to acknowledge publicly - myself in particular. I get a lot of that - often from many of you. I am so so honored that where I am with my faith today, at 31, is something so many of you admire. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much that means to me. But I guess it’s important to note that this was a journey. I was a mess. I always loved being a Jew but for several years I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know that I had the power to write my own narrative and live my life as a Jew on my own terms. The strength and confidence you see now is because all of the bullshit I went through before. Even now I am constantly learning. Every day I become more and more secure in my role as a Jewish woman, now that I can define what that means for me. 

And that’s all I want for any of you! Live your Jewish truth! We are all products of so much hardship. We really do deserve to be the best version of ourselves. We deserve happiness and security in our relationships, in our careers, in every aspect of life possible. And if you’re not there yet - if you wake up wondering where you fit into the Tribe, that’s okay! You will get there! Being a Jew is a super power!!! You just need to figure out how to be a Jew in a way that makes the most sense to you. There truly is no one way to be a Jew - no wrong way to be a Jew. Being a Jew, in any capacity, makes you an awesome Jew. I wish I had someone to tell me that but I didn’t. It took me many years to be where I am now. So for anyone who needs to hear it: you’re an awesome Jew and I’m so proud of you! 

[i-donot-forget]

Second Conversation - Lance

Eldarya New Era Words : 1437

Maturing means having to deal with people we don't like ... for now. I hope to continue translating these conversations and I hope you like it

#Eldarya conversaciones

Before dawn, those moments of intense darkness before the light bathes everything. The silence in the hallways was clear proof that everyone was asleep, until the sound of careful footsteps from someone in full armor was the first announcement of a new day. Three gentle knocks on the door of the last Aengel were enough to put the young woman on alert, she quickly noticed the lack of sun and imagined an urgency, but the surprise she was taken was the fact that Lance was on the other side. She looked at him strangely and it was evident in her face that she had not yet fully awakened, she seemed to doubt if he was really there or if she was still sleeping. After what seemed like an eternity of strange looks, Lance deigned to speak.

- Good morning Erika, I came to find you to train. -

The young woman narrowed her eyes suspiciously, she leaned out the door and looked in both directions, the corridor was deserted.

- What time is it? -

She asked sleepily.

- It's almost 4 am. -

- Almost 4am !? Are you crazy? -

- Then I'll go find Mathieu. -

- When the man was about to leave, Erika whispered to him under her breath. -

- Where? -

- Outside the C.G, by the gates. -

The young woman closed the door, got dressed and took the opportunity to see the time, barely 04:09, without knowing why she suspected that Lance had a reason for such "dedication." The tapping of her sword on her thigh was already an imperceptible sign of security, somehow being without "her" was like being "off duty" as if just by wearing it on her waist she was already prepared for everything, even when she wasn't.

She left the C.G and when she saw the calm she was glad for a moment to think that they all slept safely in their beds, her return did not imply more for her than a short nap that considerably reduced her underdeveloped combat skills, the future promised her incomparable power, but it was a bit disappointing and almost embarrassing to have to accept her current state. She used to think that her powers were like “winning the lottery”, while now her inability to use them felt like "losing the golden ticket", so she had put aside her pride a bit by appealing to maturity, one step was to accept Lance's training.

When crossing the doors it was still night so it was difficult for her to glimpse the Lance's figure a few meters from the door looking towards the coast, his posture was upright and imposing, resting his hands on his sword as if it were part of him. He turned towards her and watched her movement until she was in position, both with their weapons drawn and at a safe distance, Lance was the first to advance, he gave her time to move and defend herself, but Erika had her mind elsewhere, It took him less than half an hour to put her face down on the ground, Lance stopped and sighed.

- You're not very good under normal conditions, but you're so distracted now that I'm wasting my time. -

He stabbed his sword into the ground, expecting her to respond with her usual animosity, but nothing, for a moment it seemed like she was going to say something but Erika held back.

- Come on Erika, why don't you say what you're thinking so we can train? -

- Why did you look for me? You know I can train with Jamon, even with Matheiu. -

- Huang Hua said that a little "push" would be good for you. -

Erika was silent for a few moments, thoughtful, although she improved every day nothing seemed to be a sufficient advance, her memories of 7 years ago only increased her frustration, always in danger, always the one that has to be rescued, always in the infirmary, always on the edge…

- I didn't think that she… -

- Won't you tell me you're surprised that Huang Hua cares about you? I thought you would be used to it. -

- I'm not so sure lately. -

Lance returned to his fighting position, Erika immediately imitated him, this time it was she who charged towards him, the combat was taking more shape, it was evident that she was serious, when the sky began to clear Erika was at her peak of concentration and Lance had noticed, subtly raising the level with each blow, each step, until an intruder entered the scene, the girl was distracted and Lance used the opening to bring her down. She was slightly annoyed when she saw who it was, she managed to make out Matheiu's figure out of the corner of her eye before his opponent caught her eye.

- Concentrate, forget about the rest. -

Erika restrained herself from looking to the side, she stood up in a defensive posture, breathing deeply, tightening the grip of her sword with both hands and sliding her left heel across the floor to ensure the greatest possible momentum, she could see how Lance analyzed her every action. They continued fighting and Erika was surprised when she could understand Lance's peculiar way of teaching, unlike Jamon who gave her clear instructions and corrections, Lance didn't say a word, but she had already caught the rhythm, when she made a mistake in a posture or taking her sword, how to attack or dodge, Lance charged directly at her weaknesses. If her posture was wrong, he would attack first; otherwise, he would only defend himself until she made a mistake.

The first rays of the sun came accompanied by curious eyes that stopped to enthusiastically observe the spectacle of the couple, obviously keeping their distance and silence, Erika understood then why Lance had come to look for her so early.

- Does it happen often when you train? -

- Sometimes, although I suspect that you are the one who attracts the most attention. -

- Why? I thought you were the strongest in the C.G. -

- I am the most powerful of the C.G. -

- You may believe it, but I clearly remember the battle on the beach ... you're not that good. -

Erika sneered with an insolent humor at which Lance only smirked.

- That was an exception… -

- Oh yeah? And why would it be an exception? -

- Because you two set me up, you attacked me by surprise, 2 against 1, not forgetting that you caught me off guard. I thought that you're just a human. Don't worry, it won't happen again. -

Now it was he who made fun of her, they kept their swords clashing with intensity but without getting tired, Erika had not been wasting time since her awake, every day she made an effort to increase her resistance, her strength, agility,she learn from the lessons, she wasted almost no energy or made unnecessary movements and Lance squeezed his advances.

Erika still had the energy to continue when Lance stopped training, they had a day ahead and it was time to eat, and it was not a bad idea to maintain that feeling of vigor. They sheathed their weapons and walked together back to the C.G in complete silence, as they passed through the market, a young man stopped Lance to consult him on some mission. At that moment she felt him, she did not need to look for it in the crowd, she knew exactly where to look. Their eyes met, drawing a smile full of melancholy, she deliberately avoided thinking about him, there were too many painful emotions, thinking about him felt bad, he was like a stranger, but for some reason, none of that mattered, a small part inside her still loved him and hated herself for it.

Leiftan broke eye contact and his face tightened, he frowned slightly, or maybe she just felt it, she tried to follow Leiftan's gaze and stopped in her tracks when she noticed he was looking at Lance, they both seemed to challenge each other, Erika remembered the times she had seen them collide with each other, they never exchanged more than a few words, at least in her presence. They had a past together, they knew each other, if Leiftan had ever shown his true personality, without masks or deception, it was Lance. Betrayed by her thoughts and natural impulsiveness, she blurted out a question that should have stayed in her head.

- How did you meet him? -

Erika kept her gaze on the Aengel when her words landed, she turned to Lance who seemed like he couldn't believe what she had said, before he managed to stammer an excuse Erika fled in terror without saying anything else.