#This video was honestly so bloody funny

[moeblob]

Pen doodles from yesterday and then digital for today

Katale and Rudyard but as little crime babies. Since he's known her for a while and just thought she looked like a little street thug despite being higher ranking than him in the crime organization at first, the cat-ear hairstyle was just A Thing for her. And it spawned the nickname he would use in private of "Kitty" and even when she grows her hair out and he grays even more he still calls her Kitty in private. They're literally just bffs who do crime and what more can you want of them??

[golbrocklovely]

soulmates? // sam golbach

A/N: here's my first fic of 13 nights!! i've had this idea for so long, and i'm happy to finally make it into a fic. i really love a good enemies to lovers, and if you do, hopefully you'll like this one. let me know what you think and please enjoy !

prompt: fans knew you and sam bickered a lot, but what they didn't know is how much you truly hated one another. you decide to prank sam with a fake tarot reading, but end up finding out secrets about him and yourself. || sam golbach x fem!reader

trigger warning: angst, name calling, enemies-to-lovers, tarot/physic, cursing, semi fluffy ending?

word count: 3429

~~~~~~~~~~

I waved at the camera, beginning my intro, "Hey yall, welcome back to my channel. Today, I'm gonna be pulling a little prank on Sam with the help of someone very special."

"Hi guys!" Colby grinned.

"Thank you so much for being on my channel today, Colby." I glanced over at him, copying his smile.

He nodded, "Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"So today, I decided I'm gonna prank Sam, in a very unusual way." I stared mischievously into the camera, "I hired a psychic and she's gonna read our futures. That's what Sam thinks this video is gonna be about. But the catch is that she's gonna make it seem like me and Sam are destined to be together."

Colby chuckled, "Oh my God, that sounds so funny."

"I hope she goes all out. I'm talking 'you two are soulmates, you need to get together now', things like that. Just to really nail home that we are supposed to be together." And as you guys know, especially if you've watched me before, me and Sam don't exactly always get along.

“You guys do fight like an old married couple though.” He snickered.

“Of course you would know that feeling, Colby. You guys are basically already married.” I sassed.

"He really is my husband. But I’ll gladly share him with you.” He teased.

I playfully swatted at him, "Anyway, I wonder what Sam's reaction is gonna be to all of this."

"Fingers crossed he runs out of the psychic's place screaming bloody murder." Colby joked.

"Jesus, that would be dramatic." I mumbled more to myself than the camera, "I'm not that terrible."

"I don't think that way, but you know Sam does." He mentioned.

I lowered the camera, glaring at him for a second. "Colby, I can't keep that in the video."

“Well, cut those parts out." He suggested.

"Fine." I cleared my throat, pulling the camera back up, "Wow, that would be kinda crazy to see. Alright, now we wait for Sam to come, and I'll catch you guys up when he gets here."

"Do you honestly think this is a good idea?" Colby questioned, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, it's probably a horrible idea. And Sam is gonna be deeply annoyed with me for a while, since we all swore off pranks. But I don't care. Last week he pissed me off at Sarah's party and this is his pay back." I huffed.

"I wonder how he's gonna actually react to this. He's never had his love reading done before." He stated, looking at the cars passing by.

I shrugged, "Neither have I. But knowing him he's gonna go down the route of 'none of this is real, she's lying' and then he'll find out it's a prank and laugh for the camera, but yell at me afterwards."

"You two love to fight and argue, that's for sure." He jested, smirking devilishly.

"What can I say? He knows how to get under my skin in just the right way. So I have to reciprocate it back." I replied, glancing at the street, waiting to see Sam's car pull up. He was running late.

"Why do you let him upset you so much, if you don't mind me asking?" Colby pushed lightly, his voice low.

"When I first collabed with you guys, I wanted to make a good first impression. And when we investigated, it seemed like Sam really liked me. Or at least tolerated me and respected me." I narrowed my eyes at the memory, sucking my teeth, "But to hear him badmouth me later directly to one of my friends while he was at a party drunk, it just became clear to me that he was fake. Or at least... around me he was."

He shook his head, "Sam's never been like that before. I don't know why he would do that to you."

"Well, all I know is that he thinks I'm arrogant and loud and that I act like I'm better than everyone. Which is fucking hysterical given the fact I hate myself." I deadpanned.

Colby's expression softened. "Don't say that."

I glanced at him quickly, "Sorry, I don't really hate myself that much, but you get what I mean. Well, jokes on him. Your fans love me, and have asked me back twice at this point."

He snorted. "You have no idea how much it pains him to hear the fans love you. It's honestly really fucking funny."

"If it continues to piss him off, then I'm glad." I jeered.

He pointed at the car behind us, peaking into the rearview mirror, "Speak of the devil..."

I unbuckled my seatbelt, slowly getting out of my car. I glared at his Tesla, stupid fucking car, and trudged over to him. Colby walked up to him, giving him a quick hug.

His car had a light sheen on it, clearly wet from a wash. "Was it really necessary to get your car detailed before my video?"

"Of course it was. Anything to delay this, the better." Sam replied, smiling.

"God, I regret asking you to be in the video. I should have just got Colby." I grunted.

Sam pulled open his car door, "I could leave right now. Trust me, I wouldn't mind."

"No. I want you here, just so I can continue to torture you." He rolled his eyes at me, shutting his door and alarming his car. I continued, "Hey, maybe the psychic can tell us how far up the stick is in your ass."

He feigned a grin, walking to me. "Maybe she can tell us why you constantly have a shit dating life."

"Well, you would know that very well, wouldn't you? Mister Unable-to-Commit." I sneered, stepping towards him.

Colby stood between us, "Children, please. Can we stop fighting and just film the intro with all three of us? We are gonna miss our appointment with the psychic."

"Fine. You ready?" I watched both boys nod, Sam rolling his eyes at me. I glared, turning my camera on, pausing, and then starting the fake intro. "Hey guys, today I'm here with Sam and Colby!"

The boys cheered, jumping around and acting like fools for a moment. Sam stepped towards me, yelling almost in my face. I did my best to not react, to only keep smiling.

"Wow, what an intro." I faked a laugh, trying to ignore the ringing in my ears. "So today we are at a psychic tarot reader and we are gonna get our fortunes read. Have you guys ever had that done before?"

"Yes, and boy did it tell us some bad things." Colby answered, smirking.

It hit me suddenly, one of Colby's past readings. I gasped, "Oh my God, I forgot about that!"

Sam chimed in, "Fake fan."

"Well, let's hope for some better futures then. Let's go!" I pointed at the door of the building, then turned the camera off. I smacked Sam's arm, a wince falling from his lips. "Did you really need to fucking say that? Or scream in my ear for that matter."

"What? It was just a joke." He rubbed his arm, his eyes intense, "Don't get your panties in a twist."

I crossed my arms, “I’ll make sure to send the bill from my otolaryngologist to you.”

“Don’t make up words, now.” He mocked.

I quipped, "That’s a real word, dumbass. God you are such a jerk, you know that?"

"A jerk?" He covered his heart, pretending to be wounded. "How will I ever sleep at night?"

I went to step to him, but Colby got in the way. "Don't. He's just fucking with you. Don't let him piss you off." Sam turned and walked inside. Colby lowered his voice, "Besides, you'll be getting him back soon enough."

"I know. This psychic better bring her A game." I grumbled.

We stepped inside, the scent of palo santo hitting me immediately. I felt a cozy feeling flood through me; the walls a lush deep purple velvet, the furniture in earthy and jewel tone colors. There were little trinkets and witchy things all around, some of which you could buy. I walked over to the crystal display, picking up a piece of amethyst.

"Do you honestly think crystals work?" Sam asked.

I hummed, "I'm not sure. But I like the pretty colors."

"Of course you do." He murmured.

My shoulders dropped as I spun to face him, "Have you ever considered not being mean to me?"

"I'm not being mean!" He whisper-yelled. "I'm just saying that you give off the vibe of someone that likes pretty things, including crystals."

"Oh... thanks, I guess." I looked him over, confused and annoyed. "You could have worded it differently, you know."

"Well, if you stopped assuming everything I say to you is me trying to be a dick, maybe we wouldn't be in this situation." He argued.

I place my hands on my hips, “Well if you would stop being a dick to me, I wouldn't think you're trying to always be mean."

He furrowed his brow, "Are you really still upset about-"

"Of course I am." I hissed.

He rolled his eyes, "You're sensitive."

"And you're a prick." I spat.

"Hello! Sorry for coming out a bit late. Was just finishing up my lunch. You guys must be," The psychic looked down at her paper, reading our names. "Colby, Y/N, and Samantha."

"Sam. It's Sam." He corrected.

She gazed down at the paper for a second, frowning. "Oh, my apologies. Must have been written out wrong."

"Must have..." He glared at me, and I smiled sweetly.

Colby politely stuck out his hand, "Thank you for having us. It's a pleasure to meet you..."

"Agatha Cerrony. But you can just call me Aggie," she giggled, shaking his hand. “Okay, so do you want to set up your camera, or how do you guys do it?"

"I was thinking one of us goes at a time, perhaps, and whoever isn't going will film. If that's okay with you?" I inquired, pulling out my camera.

"Of course. Whatever works for you. I will say though, I do recommend that anything too personal shouldn't be filmed, or posted, at the very least." She remarked.

"Yeah, I plan to condense all of our readings down into just some small little bites of info that fans will like to know and that we feel comfortable sharing." I explained, trying to sound serious enough so Sam wouldn't be too suspicious.

"Okay then, who wants to go first?" She asked, looking at all of us.

Colby raised his hand. She grinned excitedly, pointing him to one of the velvet stools in front of her desk. She went around, sat on the other side, and grabbed her tarot deck.

His reading went on for 20 minutes, going through multiple topics like his love life, his relationship with himself and his family, and what the future held for him and his career. I assumed that this part of the reading was true, given how easy going she was saying all of this. And since none of it sounded over the top or dramatic, it seemed pretty realistic.

Then it was Sam's turn. As Colby got up, he gave me a small wink. I choked back a giggle, keeping my face as stone cold as I could. The psychic shuffled the deck quickly, asking him what he wanted to talk about first.

"My career, please." Sam stated.

I rolled my eyes behind the camera, of course that's what he wants to talk about.

She placed three cards down, explaining that the next couple months were going to be full of success, much like Colby's reading. "However, there might be a hiccup in the future, so be cautious of new advisors or managers coming into play." Also, some of their biggest success was just a couple months down the line if they continued down this great path.

"So, keep a clear mind and focus," she reiterated. "What next?"

"How about your love life, Sam?" Colby suggested.

I beamed, "Yeah, that would be so cool to hear about."

Sam sighed, "Ehh, I don't really care-"

"Come on, Sam. Aren't you the least bit curious? You haven't had a gf in almost a year. That's almost unheard of for you." I jested.

He narrowed his eyes at me, "Thanks, Y/N."

Colby smirked. "Look I got mine read, and she's gonna get hers. Do yours."

Sam turned back to the psychic, shrugging nonchalantly. "Fine. Tell me about my future girlfriend. Or love life..."

Aggie nodded, shuffling the deck quickly. I grinned over at Colby, zooming in on the cards she pulled from the deck. "Well, these cards are telling me that while you have been single for a bit, you do seem to have feelings for someone, even if you don't like admitting to it."

Colby audibly gasped, "Wait what?"

"Oh... that's," Sam cleared his throat, "um, interesting."

"It feels like you hold yourself back a bit when it comes to this person." She placed a couple more cards down, pointing at the first one, "This card shows that while you do have feelings, you also are upset with this person. Or maybe, it's more of a back and forth with them. Sometimes you love them, sometimes you hate them. They frustrate you, but you also enjoy that frustration."

"Sounds like someone we know..." Colby whispered to me.

"Do you know who I could be talking about? Is there someone in your mind?" She queried.

Sam squirmed in his seat, shaking his head. "Um, n-no. I don't think so."

She squinted at him for a moment, "Okay..." Aggie pulled more cards from the top, nodding her head at them. "Oh, see. This explains some stuff to me."

His back stiffened, "What do they say?"

"So, you and this person go way back. And I mean, beyond this life. You guys knew each other eons ago. And there is some unresolved tension from a past life that has caused you guys to butt heads all the time." She answered, pointing at the cards.

He blinked. "The cards say all of that?"

She chuckled lightly, "Well, yes and no. I am also a psychic so I'm tapping into my spirit guides to help me explain some of the cards more."

Colby nudged Sam, "Dude, you've been crushing on someone? Why haven't you told me? Do I know her?"

Sam pffted, "I wouldn't say a crush-"

Aggie shuffled the cards again, placing three more down. "You both know her. She's someone you met recently, probably within the last couple months. A very strong energy comes from her, which is why sometimes you butt heads. She meets you with the same energy you give."

"Recently met... strong energy... that sounds like you, Y/N." Colby commented.

"What?! Don't say that." Sam exclaimed.

I faked a glare at Colby, "Yeah, don't start Colby."

Aggie collected all of the cards, "If you want, I can see if you guys have a connection."

Sam inhaled sharply, "I don't know."

"It would be good for the video." I whispered to him.

"You're not posting this unless it says we aren't a match." He scowled.

"Alright, relax Sam. I'm not gonna post it." I gave the camera to Colby, winking. I sat down next to Sam, watching him as he scooched his chair away from me.

Aggie shuffled, placing some cards down. "Oh, well that's interesting."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Well I did pull the Lovers card, but it's in reverse." She replied.

Sam questioned, his voice cold. "What's that mean?"

"There seems to be some form of an imbalance between you two. Something that should be talked about. And these cards right here," she pointed to the others, "show that there should be harmony between you two. Because if there was, you would be together. Whether as friends or more, depending on your choice. But there is something keeping this distance and frustration between you two."

"Wow, that's crazy." I pushed for more ‘answers’, loving the way Sam's face contorted in anger. "Am I the one he has a past life with?"

"Really, Y/N?" Sam whined.

"What? Relax, I highly doubt-" I started.

Aggie interrupted, placing another card down, "Yes. You two definitely knew each other in a past life. I personally believe you used to be husband and wife, just from what my spirit guides are telling me."

"I-I'm... What?" Sam stuttered.

"I think there is a lot of unresolved communication between you two, as appearing in this card." She held the card up, showing it towards the camera. "Now obviously, I don't know for certain what's going on inside your head, but if you want to fix things between you two, and I suggest you do, you have to talk to one another. Because from what I can see, you two would work well with one another. Possibly soulmates, if you believe in something like that. But only if you listen."

Sam stood up instantly. "Okay, I think I'm done with my reading."

"Aw, you scared we're soulmates?" I taunted.

"Don't you want to get your cards read? It's late." He retorted, his eyes not meeting mine.

"Well, since your love reading turned into my love reading, I guess I'll ask about my future or whatever." I shrugged happily.

Aggie shuffled the cards as I asked about my career and future friendships. I barely paid attention, figuring the video was already done anyway. I honestly deserve an Oscar for the way I was able to hold back my laughs. God, the look on Sam's face was priceless. He looked so pissed but also weirdly nervous.

Can't wait to make it the thumbnail.

"Is there anything else you would like to ask?" She questioned, collecting her cards.

"No, I think I'm all good here." I turned to Colby, smiling at the camera. "How about we'll regroup outside and talk about what went down then?"

Colby nodded, turning the camera off. "Sounds good to me."

Sam said nothing, walking over to the waiting room chairs with Colby. As they grew closer to each other, Sam spoke in hushed tones to him.

I turned back to Aggie, shaking her hand softly. "Hey, thank you so much for letting us film here. I really appreciate it. That whole bit about Sam and I being soulmates was really good."

She raised an eyebrow at me, "Bit? I'm not sure what you mean by that."

"Also, I know this is probably really weird to ask, but on the phone, you had a thick accent of some sort..." I explained, a bit confused, "It almost sounded French to me? Are you from there or-?"

"Oh! You must have been talking with Madeline," she laughed. "She's the owner of this place, I'm just one of her friends who does readings from time to time."

I hesitated, her words sinking in. "Um... wasn't she the one that was supposed to do the reading?"

"Yeah, did she forget to call you? She's sick, out with a cold," Aggie mentioned. "But I figured she wouldn't mind me doing your reading anyway. We've both been practicing tarot readers for 20 years."

"Uh.. Uh, did she tell you about what I wanted this reading to be about?" I stammered.

"Unfortunately she didn't write that out in her schedule, but you asked me during your session. Was there anything in particular you needed me to read for you? I can do another session real quick before the next group comes in." She suggested.

"No, no that's fine. Um, I-I..." I exhaled deeply, trying to calm myself. "So everything you just told me, about me and Sam and how in past lives we were together and that we would actually work out really well if we dated... that was all true?"

"That's what the cards said, yes. Along with my own personal psychic feelings," she admitted. "If you want I can give you some more resources and you can look the cards up on your own if you need some further explanation."

"Thank you, I appreciate that." I mumbled, barely listening to what she said.

As she gathered up some papers, jotting down some books for me to check out, I glanced over at Sam. He was still talking to Colby, but looking at me. His face was hard to read, but his eyes had this softness in them I hadn't ever seen before.

My heart skipped a beat as we locked eyes.

[giuseppe-yuki]

i was thinking about arthur leclerc with a monkey shapeshifter au and since charles is scared of monkeys it makes it 10 times funnier when arthur and her go to prank charles

i actually was not aware that charles was scared of monkeys! i did a quick google search and find an ancient video of him running away from a monkey in bali or something so i assume that's what you're talking about 😅

arthur is probably as much as a prankster as carlos is, and makes charles' life a living hell when he's around.

this is most likely what happens on a weekly basis:

picture credits from pinterest :)

"and you want me to just jump into the room?" you question your boyfriend, who is rubbing his hands together and giggles mischievously.

at least once a week, arthur would put you up to another egregious prank on his brother that left charles fearing for his life.

"yes! yes!" he exclaims in his thick monegasque accent. "just chase him around the room. it'll be so funny!"

you roll your eyes as arthur strategically places what looks like a big yellow piece of cloth next to charles' streaming setup.

"charlie will never see this coming!" he cackles. "now, we wait!"

arthur holds you like a baby, your long limbs wrapping around his muscled body. you had shifted into your monkey form beforehand, after going over the plan with arthur. you would head into charles' streaming room, jump on him, scare the everliving shit out of him, and run out.

your boyfriend gently sets you in front of the the white painted door, giving your head a few pets of encouragment.

charles' voice drifts out underneath the door. "oh my god! i've never looked so good."

arthur's eyes light up with excitement at these words. "go now, baby," he says, opening the door for you.

you crawl into the room, and to your surprise, charles sits in front of his large monitor and camera dressed as none other than your favorite food, a banana.

his chat blows up with comments, prompting him to glance back behind him.

he acts faster that you can react, leaping out of his chair and letting out a shrill scream. hands grasping at the nearest solid object, he snatches a heavy metal water bottle off of his desk. he chucks it directly at you, but you dodge it by mere inches. (you thank the gods that his aiming skills is not as good as his driving skills) after taking shelter behind his chair, he shouts for his girlfriend, panicking over the fact that there was currently a 'wild animal' in his streaming room.

it was a ridiculous scene, honestly. you were stood there, not moved an inch from your original spot while charles screamed bloody murder dressed as a banana and occasionally threw random objects at you.

it took him a moment before he connected the dots.

"wait a minute- you're-" he stutters out, stepping away from his streaming chair. he hesitantly shuffles towards you, banana suit limiting his movements. you see the moment recognition fills his eyes.

"ARTHUR LECLERC, I SWEAR TO GOD! I KNEW YOU WERE BEHIND THIS. FUCK YOU! I AM TELLING MAMAN!"

[stretch-writes]

sequel to this post because i've been seeing edits of the catch 22 event where they put the fnaf sound effects over them

You laying in bed and reacting to LADS men recreating the FNAF 2 Withered Foxy jumpscare at you as revenge

Xavier:

imagine if you will. You're in bed, all cozy and warm and eepy. Waiting for your boyfriend to come and cuddle you

The door to your shared bedroom opens to reveal a dark hallway. You can't really see into the darkness.

Then you hear running footsteps, and the image of Xavier jumping towards you out of NOWHERE while that familiar jumpscare sound effect plays from his phone.

You scream and try to dodge, but the blanket keeps you sort-of there, allowing Xavier to tackle you essentially.

He lands onto your legs, then scoots up quickly and lays his head on your chest, hugging you tightly like a koala.

"...What was that, starlight?" You ask.

"Mmm...think of it as a sneak attack." Xavier answers

Zayne:

he probably wouldn't do this honestly. HOWEVER. hear me out on this hypothetical because i think it'd be funny

So you two are vacationing and you're in bed, reading. You put the book down and then lay down more properly

You hear squeaking of someone walking on hardwood floors, so you sit up.

"...Zayne? Honey?"

Next thing you know, the scream plays as your beloved, in red plaid pajamas mind you, practically jumps to land on you.

You scream loudly, and then go "oof!" when he lands on you almost perfectly, half his body on you and half on his side of the bed.

He situates as you sit in shock, his head laying on your stomach and hugging you tightly.

"You scared the shit out of me, Zayne!"

"....Call that payback for when you did that to me."

Rafayel:

oh it would go badly methinks. failboy /j

You're getting ready to sleep in bed, scrolling on your phone.

Suddenly, there's a notif from your boyfriend in texting. A link to a video.

You press on the link, only to be met by the fnaf 2 scream. You jump a bit. Now why would you send that?

Then you hear running as you look up to see a flash of purple coming towards you.

You scream out of horror, and dodge, letting Rafayel land safely on the spot you were in.

After he lands, he looks up at you with a cute pouty face.

"Seashell, why would you do that?"

"Why would you do that to me though?!"

"As payback for when you did this last time!"

"Oh-"

You laugh a bit and go back into bed, letting him hold onto you for dear life (like usually when you two cuddle)

Sylus:

I also won't think he would do this, but also it'd be scarier if he did since he seems to manipulate shadows.

You'd be in bed, waiting for Sylus, when you feel...an energy shift. As if something was watching you.

You look around the room, now a little on edge.

Suddenly you hear a scream (made by him) as he appears from a very shadowy corner of the bed room and runs at you

You scream bloody murder before being pounced on by Sylus, going "oof!"

You were scared as hell as you looked down with Sylus's head now on your chest.

"What the hell was that about?!"

"Nothing, kitten. I just simply wanted to spend time with you."

Luke and Kieran run in, ready to attack anyone who they thought was going to attack you and Sylus.

...You had to explain what happened as Sylus holds you close, doing his stupid ass smug smile.

Caleb:

Oh he'd so do this, mark my worms

You'd be on the couch, your lap covered in a blanket as you're reading while laying down, taking up the whole couch.

You hear footsteps, and you look up to see Caleb running at you full speed with the scream playing from the phone in his pocket

You yelp and raise your hands to protect yourself, letting Caleb land on you

You then looked at him, his head on your chest now, with a playfully curious look.

"Now what was that for, Caleb?"

"Well, I had to get my revenge somehow, pipsqueak."

You hit him on the head (playfully and lightly) before he hugs you, starting to cuddle with you on the couch.

[necrotic-nephilim]

ok but jayrosetim

bc rose did hit on tim and i can see her looking at how weird her bf is about tim and just be like

"so you want to rail that twink too?"

and then poor tim never knows peace again😔

OOOH. i like this a lot. also phrasing the absolute chaos that Rose pulled on Tim as her just hitting on him is so funny. bc the panel of Rose in Tim's bed, clearly wearing Robin panties will never leave my mind, she was unhinged about him. honestly in a very similar way to how Jason was too, now that you point it out. how have comics never addressed that-

think it's so funny if Rose tries to be Normal about Tim when she gets with Jason. bc she expects *that* to be a complicated can of worms she's not sticking her hand in, she knows too much about fucked up family dynamics. because she does really like Jason and wants to actually see where this relationship goes. Jason is the first person who hasn't tried to change something about Rose and seems to actually like her for who she is. she's not used to not having to change herself for people and it's a comfortable feeling to know he wants the ugly sides of her too. and Jason pointedly avoids conversations about Tim so she avoids it too. everyone's slept with everyone in the hero business, an old crush where she maybe went too far (she regrets nothing, only that she didn't go farther-) doesn't need to ruin this thing she has.

but then she and Jason actually run into Tim and Jason is *weird*, but he's not "cain instinct" weird. he's more "flowers in the attic" weird. and hey, she's *into it*. Tim does not seem into it, but her mind is already concocting plans of how to talk him into it. bc it didn't work when it was just her, but her and Jason on a united front? absolutely. like, for me i'd love leaning into this ship being outright dubcon and coercive in nature. the minute Jason and Rose are alone she takes one look at him and says the above and Jason is clocked both by how forward she is about it, and by *the fact she wants to rail him too*. because now this guilty obsession/crush he's been hiding feels a *lot* less guilty.

something about Rose and Jason trying to pull Tim on their side, both in a vigilante way and in a romantic way is so fun. it's "be my Robin" and Rose getting into Tim's bed naked but dialed up to eleven. Tim does not know peace. i'd love fucked up shit like leaving dead bodies as courting presents at his doorstep. putting a tracker on him but *also* giving him the coordinates to trackers they're both wearing bc hey, this is a show of *trust*, Tim. see, it's not weird bc now it's equal. you have us, we have you. fair. making sexual comments about him, sending him outright videos of them fucking and saying his name. the more Tim tries to push it away the more they up the ante. instead of videos, they just break into Tim's home to fuck in his bed and either he walks in on them or comes home to the obvious evidence of sex. they corner him on nearly every patrol he goes on, forcing him to get rescued by them in scenarios they clearly orchestrated. by the time Tim gives in it's bc he has no other options and he's been love-bombed by them so hard he's starting to believe all these promises about how they're the only ones who *get* him and that he'd be loved and taken care of.

the first time they have sex they nearly break Tim in half. Rose and Jason are secure in their own relationship but they've both been waiting for Tim for so long that they're nearly clawing at each other to touch him and fighting over who gets the "firsts" like, first to kiss him, first to ride him, first to fuck him. Tim makes the mistake of trying to get in the middle of it and ends up catching a few punches and is sternly told he's not a part of this conversation. it's objectifying and a little humiliating and by the end of the sex Tim is in *pieces*, a little bloody and so fucked out he can barely move. he realizes that if sex is like *this* every time, he's basically doomed. and he is, bc Jason and Rose are never going to be normal about him now that they have him. they're just going to claw for more and more control until they're the only people who matter to him.

[cum-a-calla]

Hello my queen, I hope you had a beautiful Sunday 🖤 I’ve suffering in bed all day with cramps and it’s been an absolutely bloody Sunday, I’ve reread your little drabble you wrote in response to my last ask about fifteen times. All I can think about is Benji and Roman 🫣 The stark differences between the two just has me by the throat— they would absolutely hate each other and I need them to fuck me. The scenes of Benji all worked up and passionate had me throbbing, I’d murder to watch them get into it 😫 I have a bunch of half written nasty thoughts, so I’m gonna get stoned and watch A Real Pain again, and afterwards I’ll flesh them out more…and maybe I’ll share some with you 🤭🤡

i mean let's play with that a second, right. you're casually seeing both of them. nobody's being serious, it's not exclusive, just two different dudes you fuck. and sometimes you regale Roman with all the fucking you and Benji do, and how funny it is that honestly they look so alike, they could be brothers.

"stop being fuckin' gross," he spits, even though it makes his dick hard to picture you being plowed by some other guy. "i don't need to know about whose load you swallowed, especially some nobody cuck. you only fuck him because he looks like me, anyway."

"you jealous, Romey?"

"fuck off. bend the fuck over."

and he makes you tell him more - does this Benji make you cum? how many times? does he push his fingers into you? does Benji eat your cunt as good as he can, is his cock bigger? "go figure, a fuckin' asshole named Benji would act like your dog. so fuckin'... mmm, so pathetic, fuck - might as well smear your cunt in peanut butter at this point, yeah? bet he'd hump your leg and everything - fuck -"

and it's his new favorite thing, because it's gross, and it pisses him the fuck off that somebody else is making you cum.

Benji, on the other hand, thinks it's kind of funny. this uptight business guy, all bitter and angry. and when you talk about what Roman said about the peanut butter, Benji laughs, but then his eyes go all soft and red-rimmed as he keeps glancing your way when you share the bong. nobody needs to say anything.

soon enough he's on his knees, pushing his face between your thighs after pulling your bottoms off. no peanut butter, maybe - but he's tickling the tip of his gorgeous, sharp nose along the soft hairs on your slit, lapping, moaning, nestling your leg between his thighs so he can hump his hard cock against your shin. and god, he likes it. he's moaning and whining and the closer you get for him, the more erratic he gets. there's a wet spot in his sweatpants where his cock aches and rubs, and you take a couple pictures. good puppy, you coo to him as you get to the edge. make mommy cum, puppy. let me cum on my good boy's face.

and you take a short video of you cumming on Benji's mouth, his flushed face and the way he shudders and cums and thanks you, thank you mommy, fuck, oh fuck th-thank you mommy. all your combined moaning. you send these to Roman, smirking in the afterglow while Benji licks you clean, until you're petting his hair and pulling away

[tamhi21]

Stumbled upon a reel on Instagram with a video of two famous cars on the same parking lot.

My friend laughed and said "I want to know where this is".

So I did the only logical thing I could have done and answered with another screenshot :

We laughed hard and then tried to imagine the context.

So. Picture this :

🐍 *approaches the other's table* Nice car.

🍺 Thanks. It's not mine though, I borrowed it.

🐍 Oh, we borrow things now ? What a letdown. *Sits down* During my Time, we would have stolen that car and driven anyone with a similar model to launch themselves off a cliff. You know, to add a bit of flurry. *Sighs* Downstairs really needs to up its game.

🍺 Now if you must know, I actually killed the previous owner. It was extremely bloody and painfully slow.

🐍 I see.

🍺 I chose this model because one of my... acquaintances... has the same one. To lure them here. *Moves his hand in a dismissal way* You get the idea.

🐍 Funny you should say that. I heard a hilarious little rumour just this morning.

🍺 Is that so ?

🐍 Hm.

*both drink in complete silence for a while*

🐍 So... A ghost-dinosaur haunting a public library, huh?

🍺 Can't believe those two idiots fell for that.

🐍 Tell me about it. If the hippy gang and their service dog are here too, everyone should know it's a hoax.

🍺 Cheers, mate. To humanity and their simple mind. So easy to fool.

🐍 Cheers to that.

*both glance through the window, noticing a ruckus across the street*

🍺Well, apparently not everyone.

*Outside, the Winchesters and the Scooby gang bicker about who is going to have the right to stay in the library tonight. Fred "We got here first!" And Dean "WE have weapons, you're just a bunch of high-as-f*ck roadtripping dumbasses!"*

🍺What did I say, idiots. All of them.

*Aziraphale suddenly pops in and interrupts the conversation saying that as a Bookshop owner, HE gets to stay in the library because he needs to protect the Books if Downstairs really set up an evil plan. Moreover, he is actually the most qualified to deal with dinosaurs seeing that he was already around when they were created and honestly, some humans should know better and step back when Evil forces are involved, especially if it concerns the Apocalypse. Or any type of extinct or out-of-this-world animal.*

🐍 Wait, that's my idiot ! *runs outside*

🍺 *sighs* Idiots, all of them.

[ingravinoveritas]

David Tennant stroking another man’s hair, flirting with Alex Brooker, singing about a vibrator, wearing that wig and dancing and swinging his hips like that and finally, MICHAEL SHEEN MENTION. Bragging about being above Michael in the Dilf list like a little brat like WOW he’s about to get his ass spanked tonight

I am honestly so living for David bringing out his bratty bottom side, which I feel like is a side we don't get to see nearly often enough...

(Also, for those who haven't seen the full video of David's appearance on TLL, you can watch it on Youtube here.)

I know the moment in the gif above is supposed to be him as Gwyneth Paltrow, but all I was getting was campy, bisexual British Kurt Cobain, right down to the jumper (which oddly does look like something Kurt would've worn in the grunge era). And we can't remotely overlook the fact that David was wearing rainbow/pride gear from head to toe tonight, from the rainbow buttons on his shirt (you can see them under the jumper) to the Tardis trans pride flag pin all the way down to his rainbow socks...

And then, of course, there was the Michael mention. At this point, it honestly feels like whatever is happening between them is a big open secret (at the very least, I have a strong feeling the host Adam knows, and probably also Josh Widdicome), because it is impossible anymore to have one on as a guest without bringing up the other. In this case, it almost felt like the DILF of the Year competition was another excuse to mention Michael, and then to see David fully preening over outranking him was just...beyond glorious.

As to the aforementioned spanking, I fully concur with you. There's something in particular about this show, knowing that it was filmed live, and it's almost as if David behaved as bratty as he did because he knew a certain Welshman would be watching (giving very similar vibes to when David was on the Late Late Show in 2021). I can already so clearly picture the exchange between them after this (hopefully immediately after, since Michael is still in London and David could readily have gone to see him once the taping ended)...

"I'm more DILFy--DILFy, is that a word? Hmm--than you, Michael. According to the Internet people, that is." "Mmh. Yes, the all-wise, all-knowing Internet people." "You don't agree?" "Brat." "Ah, but you love me." "Don't think I could stop if I wanted to." "So you don't mind that the Internet thinks I'm more of a DILF than you?" "I think I'm the one who gets to fuck you, so the Internet can get bloody stuffed." "Funny, I was rather hoping I'd get stuffed right about now." "Cheeky slag. Turn around and take your trousers off." "You're so easy, Michael." "Shut up, Dai."

So yes, David's appearance on The Last Leg tonight was certainly quite something. I truly love seeing that part of him come alive, the part that he once spoke of in an interview where he talked about being a little boy and putting a towel on his head to entertain his classmates. I think deep inside, David has never stopped being that little boy, and there is something so special about seeing that part of him getting to be free.

Definitely hoping as well that we might get to see/hear Michael's reaction to all of this, but he still seems a bit quiet on Twitter these days (and if he's busy spending long nights with David, one can hardly blame him). I suppose we'll just have to see what happens...

[redadm1ral]

haiiii!! it has been so so so soooooo long since I was in the loop about Moira and Joseph so im sorry to throw you so many questions but I would love to know the answers to 1, 6, 11, 15, 19, 24, and 26 for Farley/Joseph or Farley/Moira, or both if you're up to it, or a mix!

HIIIIIII EMMA HIII ILU I MISSED U...I almost never talk about Joe and Farley on here so I'll focus on them first <3 I will also answer some of these for Moiralock, but Amina sent me an ask with some overlapping numbers, so I will hold off on answering those for now :>

(also I think soooo much Joe lore has changed since last time we talked about him together? I remember he used to be Serkonan and I think older than Farley, but now he's Wei-Ghonian/Tyvian, born in Dunwall, and around the same age. Joseph Woodrow era is over it's Josef Vlasák now wheeee!!!)

let's get into it! gonna put this under a readmore bc it gets LOOOOONG lol buckle up!

Farley/Josef (Joelock)

What are things they both find funny?

Okay right off the top of my head, these men grew up in the armpit of the Old Port District and the Navy is, among other things, brutal and bloody (before we even get into the Insurrection), so they have wicked morbid humor, though Farley's humor is darker than Joe's. Also they're very easily entertained by slapstick humor RIP Joelock y'all would've loved America's Funniest Home Videos.

Also forgive me for I have Master and Commander on the brain but I think Farley is capable of dropping some pun bombs...Farley vc you're completely dished…do you not know that in the service…one must always choose the lesser of two weevils? 🤨 Farley is always deadpan about it too (he is the master of sarcasm and delivering jokes with the straightest face imaginable) and it stresses people out which Joe does find funny as hell. They're both all about clever wordplay, not just puns, but Joe is the master at it out of the two of them (and I think Joe and Moira can go toe to toe).

What is/are their love language(s)?

These men are attached at the hip lmao, quality time FOR SURE. They're a super physical couple too. Joe especially, he's all about casual (and not-so-casual) touch. He likes swinging his legs over Farley's lap if they have the opportunity and when they're in private he likes to be alllll over him. Wrestling is their love language too I fear, those boys love to tussle. Fuck a night out on the town, just give them some good alcohol (or other substances, I'm not picky), a good audiograph to set the mood, and a room alone and they'll wrestle their way through that date straight into bed.

(Okay but they do love a night out on the town though...shore leave before they got married always went crazy. Okay shore leave after marriage goes crazy too but they don't really go to brothels anymore LMAO they're faithful husbands.)

What causes them to fight?

They rarely do because Joe has Yes Man Syndrome and it's terminal. But when they do, it's usually because Joe has an objection to something Farley does or wants to do (usually something he finds immoral or just outright fucking crazy), and Farley doubles down and browbeats Joe into going along with it or staying out of the way.

What are traits they dislike in one another?

Honestly I think Farley views Joe as weak; Joe is more kindhearted, sensitive, and desperately craves the approval for others, to the point where he will find someone to look up to before he acknowledges the potential and strength in himself. He does not have a lot of confidence, though he's very good at pretending otherwise, and this makes him a perpetual follower in Farley's eyes. (And a worse man, but Farley would not voice that thought to Joe.)

Conversely, I think Farley's ruthlessness disturbs Joe at times, and it's part of the reason why he ends up leaving the Navy; it's hard for him to reconcile the two versions of Farley in his head (the childhood friend and lover, and the ruthless and even at times sadistic Naval officer who brings home blood-soaked prize money, some of it of dubious origin). It's not enough to make him leave Farley. Very little is enough to make him leave Farley, actually (which is part of why Farley views him as weak), so he deals with it by shutting his eyes and seeing only the parts of Farley he wants to see.

Ironically I feel like both of these traits are also things they like and envy about one another. Farley sees Joe as weak, but that same sensitivity and kindheartedness that makes him a weak-willed man also makes him incredibly gentle. Joe has a very soothing and easygoing presence. Conversely, Joe sees Farley as someone very strong and reliable, someone who's always willing to get the job done no matter what. Some of his outward confidence is an attempt at emulating what he sees as confidence in Farley.

If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

Oh God man this one is so unintentionally angsty to me bc they never could in the canon timeline! man fuck 😭 They are a Ride or Die couple so I think their vows would have that kind of vibe, so something like:

J: "My northern star, from the ends of the Earth to the depths of the Void, wherever you go, I will follow."

F: "You are the light of my sun, the blood in my heart, my joy; wherever we go, we'll go together."

What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

Moira dying fucks Farley up bad enough that he abandons his kids for like, a year (or at least tries to; I'm still on the fence about whether he successfully goes to sea or has his arm twisted into staying home with his family a little longer). This, of course, puts a massive strain on his relationship with his children (a strain his relationship with Matthias never recovers from), and it's Joe who has to stay home and deal with that. He sees how badly it messes up the kids, and while he and Matthias in particular were always close, Farley's negligence drives Matthias to him even more. It puts Joe in the position of having to step up and play second father to his friend's son, to the point where Farley starts to get resentful because he can tell Matthias likes Joe more than he likes his own father.

Joe is…honestly, really disappointed in him. And he's not all that surprised when Matthias and Farley wind up estranged. But he keeps pushing forward with Farley because, well, that's his friend, and sometimes tragedy will tear a family apart. Perhaps that's forgiveness, perhaps that's enablement. I'd say it's both.

Pivoting from estrangement, this is probably super petty in comparison but Farley is noooot happy when Joe decides to leave the Navy. Like wtf man I thought you were ride or die…despite his distaste for it, Joe really did have a lot of potential as an officer, and they make an amazing team. AND they were in it from the beginning, so Farley was expecting them to be in it together until the end. But it's kind of hard to stay angry at a man who just wants to sell candy and chocolate for the sake of seeing people smile, and Joe's trade connections come in handy, so after some time Farley finds it in his heart to forgive ^-^ He should probably do something about his relationship with his son-

What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

I think the big thing for the two of them is, they've known each other for so long that they can slot together very easily. They grew into their sexuality together (they were each other's first experience with someone of the same gender), and a lot of their sexual exploration is done as a couple. They're working on a level of intimacy and mutual understanding that they don't really have with anyone else (except maybe Moira, in Farley's case, but even that's different.)

So they have a very comfortable dynamic. The way they touch each other, the looks they exchange and their body smells and noises and movements all feel like home. And they can be open and adventurous with each other in a way they don't feel they could ever find in another man. Like, if one of them died, the surviving guy would be like that's it. I'm never having another man like this again. It's like how when Moira dies, Farley remains a widower for the rest of his life; no one could be his wife like Moira could, and similarly, no one could be his man like Joe can.

But getting into more specifics. They're both Big, Muscular Men who are also into Big, Muscular Men. They like to roughhouse, especially when they're younger (war wounds that ache deeper every year are not really conducive to Foreplay Wrestler Style), and they love playing with that boundary of physical "violence" (playfighting) and sex. They love straining against each other and measuring each other's strength against their own, the power and solidity in their muscle and the reserves of fat that protect and fuel them. They love biting and being bitten in turn, hands fisting in hair (Joe loooooves when Farley pulls his hair) and lips and hands and thighs taking exactly what they want from each other, and having pleasure taken from them. And while they don't have much of a size difference (Farley at 6'7''/2m, Joe at 6'4''/1.9m, with similar builds), I think they get off on just how big they are and how much weight they're throwing at each other.

Also when they get into kink dynamics, Farley prefers to dom, and he can either be a really mean and degrading dom that will beat the obedience out of Joe, or he can be a more calm and paternalistic dom who guides and coaxes the obedience out of him. (Not a fic with D/s dynamics but if y'all have read The Loyalists Are Not A Cutlery Drawer y'all will know what I mean.) Joe goes crazy for both. And Farley really enjoys seeing how far Joe will go to please him.

Farley/Moira (Moiralock)

What are things they both find funny?

Okay I think Moira is also into morbid humor, but in a different way than Farley and Joe are. I guess to explain it in a weird way, Moira would be fine and enjoy watching slashers and eat-em-ups, but Joe and Farley are the ones outright laughing at them. Most of the time. And like the two of them, Moira loves some good wordplay and is brilliant at it, and she and Farley bounce off each other pretty well comically.

What causes them to fight? + What are traits they dislike in one another?

Rolling these into one because these have significant overlap.

Uuuuusually when they fight, it's over Farley doing some stupid shit. Sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth or acts recklessly in a way that could jeopardize their social standing, and Moira does most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the family's image; she's the one hosting and organizing events and making connections with the wives of the important men Farley wants to rub elbows with! She already has misogynoir and ableism (despite hiding the worst of her disability from the public eye) to contend with in this setting, so her husband making it hard for her by being stubborn and running headlong into shit without thinking is SUPER fucking annoying.

(I'm on the fence about this but I think I've talked about having a scene in Kingsparrow where he gets himself into a duel, and ends up fucking killing the guy. Their reputation does not end up suffering too bad for this—ofc part of the intent of duels is being willing to risk your life, even if the goal is not to kill your opponent—but the whole ordeal takes ~5 years off Moira's life and I'm only halfway joking.)

Farley is of course stubborn as hell and doubles down during these fights. He married Moira because she, for her own drive and ambition, is also more cautious than him and is more inclined to think things through before taking action. He likes this aspect about her, at least normally, but when they're fighting he will absolutely start to view it as anxious hand-wringing or outright nagging. I Know What I'm Doing, Woman type shit. And then she has to remind his stupid ass what he married her for 😭 He does usually come around in the end. Though he's a bit shit at apologies.

Sometimes they will argue (though maybe not fight) over money. Farley and Moira are both pretty good with money, but Moira spends it more easily than Farley, while Farley is more frugal (or I guess stingy XD). This gets on Farley's nerves and he'll fuss at her for it, but she's like AHHH I don't want to hear it. Our finances are fine I budgeted for this. Check the books if you're that concerned. And she Does budget for it and it Is fine but he still grumbles about it. (Yet he loves spoiling his wife with gifts from across the Isles. And those cost money. Curious!)

Also, for as much as she likes Farley's stoicism when it translates positively, sometimes that translates instead into him having the emotional bandwidth of a brick and Moira can't stand that. He does try for Moira's sake, and he can be attentive, but dealing with emotions makes him uncomfortable more than anything and he has the tendency to be dismissive or all stiff-upper-lip when Moira needs him, or when their children need him.

If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

Ouuhuhhgh my God this Disney ass couple...Okay I actually have trouble coming up with these (some elements of these vows are frankensteined in from other vows I found online RIP) but I think Moira and Farley's may look something liiiiike...

M: "I vow to be your guiding light, your warmth in the darkness, your confidant and your refuge; I vow to be forever loyal, forever loving, and to build our future together; as your friend, your lover, your wife, I vow to be your eternity."

F: "To you I promise my companionship, my protection, my strength and my love; to you, I promise to be always your side in times of need, in joy and in sadness, in sickness and in health; give me your hand, my love, and I will give you the world."

What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

Okay truth be told I am struggling to answer this question, but on Moira's end…it's not lost on her that the only reason she's in Dunwall to marry Farley in the first place is because of the Insurrection, and the famine that followed. The O'Farrells were one of the many, many families driven out of Morley following the war. She does not let her family stop her from marrying him, and sometimes their objections are silly and outright hypocritical (looking at her father for that one) but she can't argue against all their objections because…yeah. The Empire drove them from their home, and it's the Empire he serves. Do you really wanna marry that man?

From a purely practical standpoint, all their romantic feelings aside, Moira chose to marry Farley because he was a promising young officer who had the achievements to back up his potential, and he had the upward mobility she was looking for. Yeah, he's in the Imperial Navy, and that's what gives him the power in the first place, and the power is what she wants. If you can't beat them, join them.

But that doesn't bring her home back. And sometimes Farley will say something about the unity of the Empire, or something else insensitive or ignorant, usually without meaning to, and Moira will look in his face and see one of the many faces responsible for the destruction of her country, the loss of her home. Sometimes she tells him. Sometimes it's enough for her to say his name or give him a look, and he gets the picture. Sometimes he apologizes. Sometimes she has to argue. Sometimes he comes around. Sometimes they agree to disagree. Or maybe instead he will tell a story from the service, from the days of the war, good or bad, and Moira can't ignore the unspoken reasoning for why Farley was there in the first place. What did it take to preserve the unity of the Empire he loves so dearly?

It's a quiet sort of pain, quiet because Moira buries it, and I think she sees her patience and her willingness to swallow the grief enough seek him out and stay with him as a sort of forgiveness. Or at least, she chooses to see it that way.

[strangerhawke]

chosen names are so weird because honestly for the longest time i’ve never really felt connected to any name. all the names i chose were because of a feeling - but not a real one. a feeling of ‘who i want to be’ as opposed to who i am. i don’t know who i am, so how could i possibly put a name to it?

Cee was just a way to cut off my birthname, like cauterising a wound. but it felt like being left with the bloody mess to deal with.

Zeke represented ‘the opposite’. i look like a woman, but my name is masculine - therefore people will think twice about misgendering me. they never did. always she. didn’t even seem to clock to them that it meant something more. Zeke became a placeholder - a ‘waiting until you notice’ name. a passive name. enough to make people look twice, but not enough to prompt a conversation about it.

so i tried something else. at first i was Ziggy - a nickname a friend used for me. i liked Z’s, and the name felt bouncy and flexible. it felt like that a carefree person would have, someone whimsical who could go with the flow. and in moments of panic and frustration and hatred and anger, i felt like a clown. the name became a brand for Kooky Nonbinary Person and it felt like i was humiliating myself on purpose. a name that was too ‘silly’ for people to respect. for my family to laugh about.

all in my head, obviously. no one ever said a word to me about the name while i had it. but my own mind conjured up this false audience who chipped away at each and every detail. (probably spent too much time on twitter)

then it was Zag. video game character name. my brain being drawn to this name felt like the teenager inside of me trying to get out. but Zagreus is strong, funny, witty, kind - things i longed to be. and Z is my favourite letter, so. bonus.

Zag fell apart in the same way as Ziggy did; although mainly it felt as though i was using the name as a caricature - implying i was all of those things when i wasn’t. i was just a sad depressed person who didn’t really leave the house.

and then i played omori.

a game about a sad depressed person who doesn’t leave the house.

a person who feels like a blank slate, waiting for other people to write on them. and his name was Sunny. it could be any name, of course - it’s a video game. but the default name is sunny. and seeing this bright vibrant name that implied such joy, such warmth, such light beside a black and white neutral face was such a wonderful contrast. the idea that my name didn’t have to correspond to who i am, or could in fact be the opposite in a way that was pleasing as opposed to debilitating - was wonderful to me. and though i initially held off on using it - it didn’t begin with Z, and this bothered me greatly - i gave it a shot. and found that while it didn’t ‘fit’ in the way chosen names seemed to for so many other people, it wasn’t an idea, or a feeling. it was a name.

and it feels like i’ve grown into that name as opposed to it fitting to me. the person i couldn’t see before is there in my reflection. it’s murky but it’s there. when i see my name i know it’s me.

my family still calls me zeke, or my birthname, but it doesn’t matter as much as it used to. zeke became a title to my nieces, and has the feeling of a family nickname to it.

the other names are just lines in the sand washed away by the sea. moments of me that tried to be, and couldn’t.

but i’m trying to be sunny for as long as i can. i don’t expect to change it again, but i don’t expect it not to. expecting anything leads to disappointment.

names aren’t ideas, or concepts, or who you want to be - they’re you. they’re just you.

[dumbfinntales]

Yesterday night I finally beat Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga. What a hell of a ride. Not super long either, took me like 18 hours to beat. What a proper way to start off this year with game reviews, right?

Superstar Saga is such a joyful, funny and charming game filled with entertaining characters. The sense of humor was on point and I could immediately see where Brothership got its style. I very much enjoyed the more "open world" exploration than island exploration. You have a map that you can traverse freely and you can enter new places as you gain new abilities.

This game being the first in the series the battle system is a bit more simple, but the basics were there. You got your jumps, hammers and bros moves. I like that the bros moves are literally you and Luigi working together to attack enemies. Oh, and you got the hand moves as well, which was a neat surprise. I felt that dodging was a bit iffy at times, some enemy attacks felt impossible to avoid. I still have no idea how to avoid that Fawful attack where he flies at you. I managed to knock him away once when I hit immediately after I heard the sound cue, but I tried it again and nothing, still got hit. Doesn't help that he fucking kills you if you don't manage to interrupt him.

Much like Brothership the game was so charming. Every character was unique and fun, plus I was so surprised to see E. Gadd in this game, accompanied by the Luigis Mansion theme. I honestly didn't care much for Cackletta, she was alright, but didn't feel like there were many stand out moments with her. She felt like a very typical bad guy. Fawful was fun for his strange speech pattern and how chaotic he was. Why did he have to wear a skin tight suit in our final battle? He sure has fury. Can't wait to see him as the main villain in Bowsers Inside Story.

I do adore this game, but I always find things to complain about. Number one, I would have appreciated a real map. The in game one doesn't show you anything. Some dungeons have maps, but they're plastered on walls and you can't view them when you want. And I HATED the mini games. Oh how I loathed them, starting with that infernal border jump at the beginning of the game. The only mini games I tolerated were the minecart one and the arcade game. I also kinda hated platforming with Luigi. This might be controversial, but I'm glad he became automatic in Brothership. No more one of the bros falling down a platform so now you can't move and have to go back to the start of the platforming.

This isn't a negative per se, but made me really scratch my head. But the end of the game is really bloody difficult, right? I had no trouble with the game until the final dungeon where the difficulty skyrockets. I didn't have too much trouble with the koopalings (their mini games too sucked ass), but holy hell Fawful and Cackletta kicked my ass. Fawful took me like 4 tries to beat, and Cackletta 9 tries at least. She has SO much HP and two phases where at the start of phase 2 you can die immediately, which I did, thanks spinny arms move. It felt like the opposite of Brothership where the final boss was a bit of a pushover. Didn't help that apparently I was underpowered? I watched videos on how people beat Cackletta and they were doing 100+ damage per attack, while my strongest bros moves did a maximum of 60 damage. I also found out that I missed some sidequests and gear!

I didn't brew all the coffees at E. Gadds cafe place, mostly because I hated getting the rare beans from the mini games, but I did brew most of them. But either way, it was a fun experience. Maybe one day if I'll replay the game I could give the 3DS remake a try.

[haechanhues]

GMMTV 2025

Girl Rules - OKAY I am into it <3 Love the whole aesthetic first of all and seconds in and I'm already wanting to watch it. I also just really love MilkLove.

Ticket To Heaven - Aesthetics remind me a little of a Jeff Satur music video but FourthGem and I'm already invested. They're so bloody handsome I can't deal with it. Also feels really raw for this couple so I'm excited to see where it goes.

Only Friends : Dream On - I feel like I'm cheating watching this trailer without seeing Only Friends yet. Can't wait for the mess though (and Ohm's in here, I didn't finish watching Kidnap just cause i wasn't feeling it but I do wanna see them in this) Also NEO?! (Boston, in this case)

Wu - I'm absolutely loving the supernatural elements of this upcoming drama. The music during the ending sounds very Marvel though so it gave me a little chuckling power.

Me and Thee - PondPhuwin! Did Pond cut his hair? Something feels different and I'm pretty sure it's that. OMG PERTH?!?! Fucking wait, sorry?! I've just seen my baby. It's quite funny though, little bit of crack. Also very familiar music at the end? (Where have I heard it before?)

That Summer - First man on the screen Winny <3 Omg Mond and Neo too. Oh yes, WinnySatang main couple I'm looking forward to it. You have no idea how much I adore them. Like really. Is Mond acting as Winny's uncle?!

Boys In Love - Well he's a new face to me... I think? He's got nice lips (sorry I can't think of anything else but kind of reminds me of like Felix + Kento Yamazaki mixed together)....Aww it is very cute though, kind of fluttery. But I think the KimMon couple with Chokun and Aston is the couple I'm most excited for.

Burnout Syndrome - First of all, sick title. Also Gun? AND IS THAT DEW?! WHAT THE HELL I was not expecting him I feel like I haven't seen him in years. OffGun <3 Dew once again, playing the morally good (?) homewrecker.

Cat For Cash - FIRSTKHAOTUNG! Is that View's voice? Weird but I'm oddly intrigued, won't be the weirdest shit I'll watch and purely cause the couple-Satang again?! Sweet sounding OST.

Dare You To Death - I'm really excited to see Drake in this. Not really feeling the couple though but this is just the teaser. I'm more into the mystery thriller side of this drama rather than the romantic side, but I can definitely be persuaded.

Love you teacher - PERTH! I love him so much. It's quite cute - following his boyfriend to teach. CAR CRASH? Amnesia i'm guessing....didn't have to guess long. AH KAY! You have no idea how much power this man has over me. I am such a Perth girl it's honestly unreal. Established relationship also?

A Dog and A Plane - Tay and Marc? HELLO. God. Just exposing my faves in this post really. Not really interested in the drama at all though.

My Romance Scammer - This guy reminds me of Byungchan or Junkyu and another reminds me of a smaller Song Kang. Was gonna say not interested but now with that twist in there I'm a lot more interested.

My Magic Prophecy - Oooh Jimmy should be in his element. Will probably really only watch this for Jimmy. But I really do like the supernatural element in this.

MU-TE-LOVE - PRIMILY my girl <3 There's a lot of fortune related dramas I see. Dew, player. Is that Jamie from Home School? I can't tell. ONE OF THE TWINS. NEO AS A DRAG QUEEN HELLO. As this teaser goes on, it gets more random but also so interesting and like oddly unrelated. No, but Ohm's new man is so attractive.

Whale Store xoxo - MILKLOVE. I am not as interested in it as I am Girl Rules. But I do think it's cute. Very small town romance cute. Ending song also cute.

I Love 'A Lot Of' You - ....C'mon. Nanon's in here. But like what the hell is happening? OHH okay five personalities/alters and making them all fall in love with him. Nanon always tends to pick really good fucking scripts that interest me. I'd love if only four of them really loved him and then the other one has no interest in him.

Head 2 Head - I'm loving the banter. ALSO TWIST? I'm also interested in the side couple too.

Melody of Secrets - I'm interested in this horror/thriller/mystery thing and Force is cool. I feel like I'm watching one of ENHYPEN's highlight reel things. Book has really pretty eyes.

[roseofithaca]

Second Chance at Goodbye (Part 1)

(Story about my oc trying to find closure. Ft @idiotwithanipad 's oc Amy)

-

"HAPPY SAM-HAN!"

Silver blinked at them all; "Happy what-now?"

"Sam-han! Isn't that right?" Alison asks, "The Wiccan name for Halloween?"

The Neo-Pagan stifled a laugh as she stood in Higham Suite, having just woken up from another of her month long sleeps at the rise of the full moon. Both Amy and Robin had been chilling beside her bed, acting cool as cucumbers, waiting for her to rise. They'd made the most basic of small talk with her as they'd headed back to the hotel, only for the rest of the ghosts - plus a greying Alison - to jump out in a cheer as she walked through the door.

The room was decked to the nines in fake skulls strung up like Christmas tinsle, tiny pumpkins a lit on the windowsill as well as a big one on the table, along with scary movie posters stuck to the walls. Alison wore a Morticia Addams costume which Thomas seemed to be appreciating out the corner of his eye a little too much.

"Guys, thanks, this is incredible. But just so you know, it's pronounced 'Sow-wen'." Silver giggled, "Robin, you know that."

"Yes, but it funny watching them get it wrong." The caveman said, cheekily. Amy gave him a light kick to his boots.

"Other than that, thanks, this is so fucking cool!" Silver grinned before going around the room to inspect everything.

Kitty was very eager to show her the fake severed limbs that Alison had skillfully made our of paper machet, piled up in the corner.

It was rare that she got to be awake for her favourite Sabbat, cliché as she knew it was. What Witch or Pagan didn't love Halloween? Most of the time, Alison and the ghosts did a party for her before or after but it felt extra special to be awake for the actual day. The New Year on the Wiccan calender.

"Kinda bummed we can't wear costumes. Stupid ghost bodies." Amy tutted, picking at her hoodie.

"Well, we can play What Would I Wear Today - Halloween Edition!" Pat suggested.

That kicked off the games for the night, while Alison put out some little Halloween cakes she'd baked for Robin and Amy to sniff and some of the others just to eat with their eyes, as it were.

Silver had sadly missed the rare ghost ability to smell food and drink and most other things - except for incense, which Alison lit for her pleasure, filling the room with various scents until it smelled like a New Age store.

"I suppose I would dress up as a member of the enemy. A Jap or a Jerry, I wouldn't need to change much except for the badge." Cap said when it came to his turn.

"Oh, that's really, really not a good idea." Alison dissuaded.

"Yeah, didn't a Prince get in big trouble for doing that once? Harry, weren't it?" Amy frowned.

"Little Prince Harry? No fucking way!" Silver gasped, not having seen anything of the royal family since watching live footage of Princess Di's funeral. "Bloody rich people. Full offense, Julian."

"I guess I would dress up as a member of the Green Party then." The disgraced MP said, rubbing his knees.

"Isn't your daughter a member of the Green Party?" Mentioned Fanny.

"And as a loving father, I have never held that against her!"

They continued around the group, Thomas choosing Byron, Pat as a member of Bradford City FC, Fanny as an Australian convict, Humphrey as a member of the Queen's guard, Robin as a bear, Amy as a character from a video game that was after Silver's time, while she herself went with one of the nurses from Silent Hill.

"Ooh, sexy nurse, classic."

"Definitely not sexy and also shut the fuck up, Julian." Silver sneered at him, though at this point she knew that most of his lewd comments were only to wind her up. Hopefully.

"I suppose I'd be a spider. Or could I be Spider-girl? Is there a Spider-Girl?" Kitty mused aloud.

"You guys do know you don't have to dress up as your greatest traumas right? Halloween is supposed to be fun." Silver informed them all after seeing a pattern.

It was honestly just a wonder to have them all participating, especially Fanny who often derided Halloween as a sinful heathen holiday.

"Mike's taking Mia trick-or-treating." Alison told Silver, showing her snaps of the father and daughter out dressed as zombies.

"Aww, that's adorable. I wish she'd come, feels like ages since I saw her, she's getting so big."

"They're gonna come by tomorrow. I wanted it to just be us guys tonight." Alison smiled, looking around the group.

"Hmm, not exactly child-appropriate, what you've got in mind, is it." Humphrey commented.

"Shh, you spoil surprise!" Robin hissed at the Tudor who was in one piece for a change.

"Another surprise?" Said Silver.

Were they going to watch some 18+ scary movies? Was Kitty desensitised enough for actual horror now?

"Was gonna leave it closer to midnight but I guess we can start now before everyone's too tired." Alison said, standing up and moving over to the table.

A small black cloth had covered something in the centre which Silver hadn't noticed until now. Robin gave her a nudge and gestured for her to go take a look.

She stood, curious now.

"Ta-da!"

Alison pulled the cloth away with a flourish. Silver felt the air leave her lungs. She stepped back.

"What the..."

She stared down at the rectacle ivory board covered with letters and numbers in jet black ink.

"It's a Ouija Board." Said Alison.

"T'is said to be a way to communicate with the dead." Thomas said, with a haunting lilt to his voice.

Silver narrowed her eyes at him; "I know what a Ouija Board is! Why is it here?" She gestured to Alison; "You're a walking Ouija Board! And anyway, we're already dead, so I don't-."

"It's not intended for us, Silver." Fanny told her, plainly. "It's to attempt to contact what's beyond...well, the beyond."

Beyond the beyond?

"You mean...?"

"The next layer, of course!" Kitty exclaimed, giddily; "I can't believe we haven't thought about it before, it's such a wonderful idea!"

"Well we did joke about it once or twice but given that whole experience with the Vicar and the exorcism-." Pat's words were cut off by Thomas and Humphrey shuddering at the memory; "...Yeah, I think we thought it best not to dabble, just to be on the safe side."

"So what changed? Why you guys so eager to 'dabble' tonight?" Asked Silver.

Everyone looked to the girl with the headphones standing next to Humphrey.

"Hey! Why you all making out like this was my idea?" Amy asked.

"Because it was your idea, Poppet." Said Humphrey.

"I...Okay, fine, shut up." Amy huffed and met her best friend's eyes; "I know you weren't keen on it when I asked about it before but, I just thought tonight might be a special night to try, if you wanted? You're always saying Witches believe the doorway between the living and dead to be thinner on Halloween. Maybe that's true for the doorway between the dead and the...deader dead. And if it doesn't work then, hey, what's it matter? We can have fun trying, can't we?"

"Amy, these things can be fun but they can also be extremely dangerous."

"Then it's a good thing we've got an actual Witch who knows her shit to make sure we do it right, ey!" The other teen said with a gentle thump to Silver's arm.

The young Pagan blushed, especially as the others in the room seemed to murmur in agreement.

"It's not like I'm Willow from Buffy or anything, but I guess I know more than...." Ugh, is she really going to agree to this? Just for a Halloween game? "Anyway, who would we even...?"

She knew the answer to that question before she finished asking. All eyes were on her. Eyes of sadness, perhaps a little pity, mixed with concern. This was her night. Her party. Her present.

Silver felt her chest tighten.

"I don't...I don't think I can..."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, pet. I mean we've all got folks you could help us contact instead if you'd like." Said Pat, sweetly; "I've got a great aunt who I'd love to see if I can get a Yorkshire pudding recipe from. Not that it's much good for me, but for Daley and Little Pat."

"My grandfather was said to have buried a chest of stolen gold on the moors, might be worth getting that info." Murmured Julian.

Even Humphrey threw his hat in; "Might give me some peace if you can let Sophie know there's no hard feelings-"

"Guys! Please." Alison shut them down. She looked to Silver; "It's your choice, hun. We know it's gonna be a while until you're awake for this time of year again, but I guess we can try any other day-."

"We could. But you're right. This is the most likely time to get results." She admitted.

"Harvest festival and Full Moonah." Grunted Robin in agreement; "Big big power."

Silver was a little bit surprised that he seemed on board with this. Usually, the caveman was the skeptical one, funnily enough.

"You think it will work? You've seen it done before?" She asked him.

"No. But, like Stompy say, no harm in try."

She could see in his ancient eyes, also, a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe...Just maybe...

He loved her too.

Silver shook her head; "Look, I just don't think it will work. I mean, when I used to research these things, all of them said you needed an item or a photo that belonged to the person to reach them. We don't even have a grave for Mary, let alone a photo or belongings-."

"Not exactly, no. But I wondered if maybe these might be okay?"

Alison lifted a handmade basket onto the table. Contained within was the sketch of Mary, recently redrawn to replace the previous one smashed and desecrated by vandals, who also set fire to Silver's bed...among other things. Bastards.

"I know they weren't from when she was really alive, but they are linked to her, in a way....?" The living woman suggested.

The eyes of the woman in the sketch met Silver's. She took a breath.

Could she...? Could she dare to hope that...?

"I...I can't..."

She turned and fled from the room before anyone could stop her. There was a dark closet nearby with her name on where she needed to hunker down and fucking breathe.

[extraneousdominomask]

What I did on my summer vacation

As you've no doubt gathered by now, for the last two years I've been playing various old games with my wife. I often used to post about that adventure here, and then I kinda stopped. I feel bad about that, especially when it comes to the two excellent, free indie games I had fully intended to spotlight. So here's a quick rundown!

Celeste, OJONMRAG, Double Cross

Three great indies I got in the same bundle. Celeste needs no introduction, and I've spoken about it before. I don't know if I ever mentioned Oh Jeez Oh No My Rabbits Are Gone!!!, but it's a fun puzzle game with cute visuals and surprisingly catchy music. And speaking of those two things, Double Cross is a hidden gem of a game. We really enjoyed its eclectic cast, and still sometimes quote the zany catgirl in particular. ("All cats are tyrants, Zahra.")

Manic Miners

Lego Rock Raiders was a toy line in the 1990s, which earned its own video game tie-in. I remember it fondly... as did one absolute hero, who remastered the dang thing as a non-profit passion project. Manic Miners is available via Itch for free - because it's a fan game! He had to ask very nicely to do this at all! - and it completely revitalizes what was an engaging but flawed fuzzy memory from my childhood. As well as adding several quality of life improvements to make the game flow better, cut content is restored and entirely new features are added in, such as a character creator. If you want an accessible game that can provide the sweet, sweet satisfaction of collecting every scrap of resources from a initially messy environment, I highly recommend this.

inFamous 2: Festival of Blood

An important thing to know about me is that I hate vampires. I don't like 'em and I don't like looking at 'em, so I usually avoid and and all vampiric media, even if they're getting slaughtered. For that reason, despite loving inFamous 2, I never checked out its DLC side-adventure Festival of Blood... until now. (Making a new purchase on the PS3 digital store was hard, but not impossible. Thanks for complaining every time they try to shut it down, everybody!) It's a short experience, but a lot of fun, thanks to the wise decision to let Zeke narrate the whole bullshit stor- I mean, thrilling tale of true heroism. I found Bloody Mary to be an entertainingly nasty villain, despite my biases.

Psychonauts 2

Psychonauts is one of the video games ever, no question. Expectations were lofty for its much-delayed sequel. If anything, I think I prefer this one! The core (the gameplay, visuals, hilarious writing, and Peter McConnell's consistently excellent music) all remain unchanged, with new mechanics, some quality of life improvements, and an impressive voice cast all added on top. Jack Black and Elijah Wood are both in this game, and they're both great!

Pokémon White

this one kinda sucked ngl

Halo: Combat Evolved

Mostly, I'm showing my wife a game and not the other way around. There was one major franchise that I had almost entirely missed, however - aside from a few free-form skirmishes at parties - that she fondly remembers. This summer, we both experienced the first Halo together, and in short: yeah, I can see why this changed the course of the industry singlehandedly. It still feels great to play, even with my wife assuring me that the sequel is a big improvement from these already solid bones. I frankly don't relish slaughtering the fleeing, crying Grunts, since we as a society have moved on considerably when it comes to the rights of funny little guys. But it feels great to shoot aleins and Cortana is my friend. Exactly as advertised.

Jak II: Renegade

this one definitely sucked, holy shit. I remember this being a good game. I remembered incorrectly.

Shantae (2002)

I've played two of the more recent Shantae games, and I found them charming. But how does the original hold up? Pretty well, honestly! It's far from perfect - the day and night cycle really adds nothing beyond referencing Castlevania - but the music and visuals are truly impressive for the original GameBoy. I'm gonna be thinking about Shantae's cute little 8-bit dances for a while.

Undertale Yellow

Like anyone who listens to a lot of Toby Fox's music over YouTube, I've seen my fair share of dubious OCs and "epic fights" floating at the corner of my vision. With that in mind, I went into UY with managed expectations, despite the positive buzz. Could a fangame really match the unique energy and charm of one of the greatest independent games of our generation?

Uh... yeah! I'm as surprised as anyone else, but everything from the music to the gameplay to the writing was really bang-on. It's not a flawless experience - the El Bailador fight needed reworking, it was WAY harder than other, more impactful fights - but the eight years of passion very much shine through. If you're a fan of UT/DR and need something to tide you over as we all wait for Chapters 3+, I fully recommend this. It's free!!!!

Spyro the Dragon (1998)

Finished this just yesterday! I got the remaster when it came out, but - no offense - nothing beats the blocky low-poly charm of the original. This was my first time replaying it in several years, and for the first time, it felt small. Levels I remember struggling with posed no challenge any more. But I think that only speaks to how many times I replayed this lovely little adventure. Also, did you know that of the, like, four voice actors in this game, one of them is Clancy goddamn Brown? He plays like 30 of these polygonal dragons!

...I would normally try to end a post this long on a more climactic note, but, uh... yeah.

[bunni-bun]

Hi :)

Please tell me/us more about your BamBam stage experience because that sounds like a whole lot of fun! 😁

hi friend!! absolutely cuz it's still such a wild moment, all these years later 😆

back in 2017, GOT7 had a fanmeet tour, Flight Log: Turbulence and Miami was the first stop in the US. my friends and i worked really hard to make it the best stop since Miami never gets anyone, honestly.

anyway! when everyone walked in to go to their seats, we all got a raffle ticket since this was a fanmeet, not a concert, and the boys play some games throughout the fanmeet. i really didn't think anything of my ticket and just put it in my pocket and went to my seat (lol).

they had a guess the song game, which was the fan game, so the MC had all of the boys pick a ticket and read the number out. They would only read the ticket number 3 times before moving on to a different person. Bambam chose my ticket and the first time he read the number, no one did anything and i didn't have my ticket out. So he read it a second time and i took my ticket out, purely out of suspicion cuz there was no way it was me, and he read my number one last time before i registered that it was, in fact, me and i screamed bloody murder so they knew they had the right person 😆 the MC jumped and was like "oh, we found her!" since i was sitting a bit in the back.

cue everyone in my row cheering and pushing me forward to get to the stage. Bambam was on the other end of the stage so Jackson helped me up from his end and he's really sweet (also short lmao). but i was stunned when i got to Bambam and he's pretty tall since i only reach his shoulders (his jacket was gorgeous and i focused on that a lot to keep from dying lmaoooo).

once all the fans were on stage, each member did a short little introduction of their fan. when they got to Bambam and I, he did his thing by asking what's my name, how old am i, where am i from. what i didn't register at all cuz i was in shock was that at the end he asked "so do you have a boyfriend?" and i shook my head no cuz i didn't and he said "well now you do" and both the crowd and i lost it. my soul ascended straight to the pearly gates cuz he was smooth as hell for that one 😂

we didn't do great at the game since i was still very new to GOT7 and kpop in general but we had so much fun! he was super nice to me and was really reassuring cuz i was nervous and he hugged me a bunch of times and thanked me for being sweet. he was absolutely ethereal and so funny and just genuinely a silly sweetheart. he made himself my bias for life 😆💚

someone actually managed to get a video of the whole fan game, if you wanna see this moment! i straight up blacked out the minute i screamed in my seat and all of my friends afterwards were like "DUDE ARE YOU ALIVE??!?!?!" and i was like "No, my soul ascended lmao who am i?". it was fantastic and still brings me so much joy. i love GOT7.

here's the video, if you wanna see it! it's not great quality but it's still a wonderful moment💚

[retphienix]

Now don't get me wrong- it's almost entirely because I love ragging on it, but the feedback forum really is my favorite way to consume warframe stuff online.

I just really enjoy reading the most "Oh shit that's actually good" idea ever- one that fully considers the impact both on the players and the devs end, an idea that honestly improves the game in a way that benefits both sides and as such should be a highly considered move by the devs as it would exclusively be a good decision that takes into account that this is an F2P game and isn't just "Make it easier so I don't spend plat",

and seeing the comments fill with dirt brains going "This is fucking stupid, you're asking them to change something in the video game and change is always bad so this sucks and you're a noob and I hope you burn in hell" as the thread dissolves into chaos.

And then to see thread number 9 billion saying "I FUCKING HATE *entirely benign part of the game such as a game mode or a single warframe or the color blue*" and the thread is just 15 guys saying "Yeah this is the worst they should fire whoever did this and delete it from the game" with nearly no discourse.

I think it's a fun time, because I get to read great ideas, see stupid takes, and learn that some people base their entire warframe experience on hating people who own a switch.

Also it is amazing to me how many people put down an idea because they did things before said idea was implemented.

IE Grind X is bullshit and has 0.0005% drop rates but has no justifiable reason for it and doesn't even lend itself to a plat argument as there is NO profitability involved- it just hurts players and makes the game worse.

Guy Y will fight you tooth and bloody fucking nail for saying it needs improved because you're an inconsiderate entitled shitbag who should EARN it by GRINDING like THEY DID you *expletives are not allowed on the forums*.

It's just funny to literally see the kind of people who say it's unfair to cancel student debt because other people already paid theirs play the same video game I do.