#This turned into a whole meta analysis lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lazy-sixteen · 4 days ago

Text

'Unconditional Love' - Jayce's feelings towards his partner

Thinking today about what made Jayce' and Viktor's relationship so extreme, Romantic, so oh-shit these two nearly ended the world with their Divorce Arc, and from Jayce's end I would say it is that he took the concept of "Unconditional Love" and really cranked it to the high-setting then welded the dial there.

Let's start at the end.

ii. Love

Jayce loves Viktor. No one (at least in these more enlightened days of post-Season 2) is arguing this. He's drawing the guy in his diary/research journal, he's loudly proclaiming Viktor the co-inventor of his life's work, he's throwing a city founder and respected mentor off the Council, and simultaneously making both Orpheus and Dr. Frankenstein look like pussies with his resurrection antics. There is so much great meta and analysis that points out how much he loves Viktor, and the more details you examine in the show the more evidence you find.

I think the only point I'd like to add here, is that is really is genuinely love motivating him. He's not obsessed with his imagined idea of a perfect partner nor dependent on Viktor as the more confident half of their partnership, it's all love.

The obvious example of not just wanting a 'perfect' or easy version of Viktor is Jayce's speech about always respecting/admiring him with his imperfections their mind meld at end, but I think the bridge scene also counts. While they do argue about it, Jayce never wants to change who Viktor is. When they fight at the bridge about Zaun, Jayce apologizes for saying something classist/insensitive immediately instead of trying some bullshit 'well, you aren't like the rest of them'. He's not perfect about it, but he'd chose to learn and grow as a person over trying to erase where Viktor came from because he loves his partner as a whole person, not just the parts that are easy for him to understand/love.

Additionally, when Viktor leaves him (after Jayce basically vomits up his heart on a rambling silver platter, lol), Jayce is so obviously emotionally devastated - but he does respect Viktor's decision and is able to continue functioning. For the first point, Jayce doesn't try to physically stop Viktor from leaving or follow him after Viktor makes clear he wants space. Afterwards, while Jayce is obviously an emotional wreck (sleeping in the lab), the second Heimmerdinger and Ekko turn up he's able to pull himself together enough to Problem Solve and muster the emotional energy to genuinely care that the Hexgates might be polluting a community in Zaun. Jayce is definitely a wreck after Viktor leaves, but he respects Viktor's decision about leaving and is able to function independently.

( Of course of note, Jayce didn't respect his promise to destroy the Hexcore - so you could say that the respecting Viktor's decision to leave now is either a case of Jayce trying to learn his lesson and grow in regards to respecting his partner's choices, or a you could say the situation wasn't equivalent since Viktor asked him to promise something that would lead to his partner's death while Viktor was obviously very emotionally compromised after Skye's death and Jayce had just stopped him from committing suicide - i.e., Jayce didn't honor that promise bc to him, it appeared to be an extension of Viktor's suicidal intention.)

Anyway, the point is, it is about Love for Viktor as he is, not just that he's important to Jayce's success or caring about the easy parts like his intelligence. Jayce just totally and completely just loves his partner. Onto...

i. Unconditional

And, here's where Jayce gets absolutely freakishly, unhealthy do-not-try-this-at-home with it, there is absolutely nothing Viktor can do to himself, to other people, or to Jayce that will make Jayce love him any less. It is beyond 'would you love me if I was a worm' and hits 'would you love me if I killed everyone you loved, desecrated their corpses, then killed you?"

(Jayce, said 'Yes, obviously. Also if you did that more than once and let me be tortured for several months. Anything for you, baby.")

On the first point (nothing Viktor can do to himself) in Season 1, it was remarked upon by Singed that Viktor using very illegal drugs and trying to alter his body with an unstable dangerous magical artifact might freak Jayce out/make him leave. Viktor verbally disagrees with this sentiment, but he also hides what is doing from Jayce. While some of that could be to protect Jayce if his experimentation gets discovered (see, very illegal drugs obtained from exiled mad chemist who worked/works for a drug lord), part of it is likely intended to represent hesitancy or fear that Jayce might be disgusted at what Viktor is doing.

Contrary to Viktor's/Singed's predictions, Jayce simply does not seem to care. We never seem him react specifically to the metal arm/leg, but given that he used Viktor's research notes (Which would include fun, savory details like 'carving runes into his flesh' and 'injecting Shimmer') to resurrect him into a completely purple, metal, magic immortal creature and then reacted to Viktor's horrified "What am I?" with a adoring, love-sick "You are alive." complete with half-naked hug and nuzzling - we can safely assume he would not have loved Viktor any less for the purple-metal arm+leg.

This continues on, Jayce is fully willing to kneel/try the power of love confession at the fully metal and horrifying split-face looking Machine Herald. In fact, I think his speech at end works so well because it is given to someone metal and removed from humanity - he loves and respects Viktor both as he was with his disabilities and on the other end, as someone who had removed every weakness from his body to the point of becoming closer to a machine-god than a human.

Okay at this point, we can say that Jayce's affection is still sweet (and parts of it are good, touching, and healthy - if you love someone you Should be willing to grow as a person and try to correct your biases, you Should accept their disabilities and care for them as part of what makes up your loved one's life), but moving us closer to off the rails - there also doesn't seem to be anything that Viktor can do morally / do to other people/ do to Jayce himself that matters either.

This is best shown in the Hell Dimension - Jayce spends several months in a Saw Trap slowly going insane, in severe pain and desperate loneliness (seriously that level of 'no human contact' is enough to qualify as torture on its on). He see the world absolutely ruined, everyone either dead or transformed into creepy porcelain dolls (dead and having their corpses corrupted/puppeted/used). He climbs to the top of the former Hexgate, corrupted into a monument to his failures, sees his future corpse kneeling in defeat, and looming over it the Mage, who saved him as a child but also set him on the path to magic, made him in integral piece of the mechanism the ended the world, and is furious!! He's angry and accusing, and looks like he's about to start screaming or trying to fight!!

Until the mage, pulls back his hood and reveals he's older Viktor - then, oops never mind, Jayce instantly is no longer mad - just amazed and happy. To me at least, it is parallel to Viktor waking up transformed out of the magic goo and Jayce instantly hugging and exclaiming happily he's alive! Jayce meets Viktor's eyes over his own corpse in the middle of a world-wide graveyard, and instantly his mood switches from fury to joyful recognition. The next scene we see (chronologically, not story-wise) is him willingly kneeling and Old Mage's Viktor's feet like a warrior being knighted, taking the hammer from his own corpse, and promising to save younger Viktor.

(And to me at least, that is implicitly Jayce's and Old Mage Viktor's priority here based on how they phrase it, - not to save the world from Viktor, but to save Viktor from having to suffer the loneliness and guilt of ending the world).

Like holy shit, Jayce not only loves Viktor so, so much, this is an 'in all times lines, and all possibilities' he loves him. He loves Viktor so much it is a universal constant - with no limitations or boundaries (including such healthy ones as, maybe I should take a step back from a relationship I know is 99% likely to kill me).

AND, and!! This makes me especially insane - this is not a problem Jayce has in his other relationships. He is perfectly capable of loving and caring for other people while still maintaining boundaries, or pulling away from relationships that hurt him. This is 100% a Viktor-only thing.

We see Jayce pull-away and stop confiding in his mother after she hurts him by declaring him insane in front of the counsel (we never see them really talk one-on-one after that scene in his bedroom). He break-ups with Mel in the Counsel Room over both her using Jayce as an investment/puppet ruler (which she was, part of Mel's character arc is learning that conquering through manipulation/politics is still conquering) and his own survivor's guilt that she saved them and not the rest of the Counsel (not her fault, she did in instinctively with a power she didn't know she had). And he maintains that distance, he's comforts her a bit later when she reaches out about feeling used, but generally remains physically and emotionally closed off.

(Sidenote rant about how I actually really love Mel and Jayce's tragic, doomed bi4bi romance cut for time)

Like Jayce has limits, he can love people genuinely but pull away when he feels they are hurting him or he's hurt by what they've done. Just, only for other people.

In conclusion, Jayce loves Viktor unconditionally, in all timelines and all possibilities: whether he's his human and dying lab partner or an eldritch magic-machine god, whether he's saving Jayce life or killing him - that love is truly unconditional

#jayvik #jayce talis #viktor arcane #long post #arcane meta #i guess #any way the knowledge of being loved no matter what #REALLY no matter what #is a bit terrifying #btw I think Viktor loves jayce back just as much #but in a different (also unhinged) way #mentioned sidenote rant available upon request

91 notes · View notes

thewalrusespublicist · 14 days ago

Note

"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

65 notes · View notes

atopvisenyashill · 4 months ago

Note

Why do you think Jaehaerys sexually assaulted his own daughter?( I'm genuinely curious)

I have two dedicated tags to this if you want to dig in a bit more - "gael and the bard" and the newly added "jaehaerys the cruel" tags, with this meta here being the kind of jumping off point into that whole theory/analysis. gael and the bard is more focused on gael targaryen herself and the mystery surrounding her pregnancy and suicide; there's a lot of bael the bard imagery surrounding her, being called the winter princess, gael being one letter off from bael, the father of her baby noted to have been a singer, and her status as like, an eternal maiden because of her relationship with alysanne. the jaehaerys the cruel moniker is just a reference to maegor the cruel - i think the play between maegor being outwardly monstrous and jaehaerys being privately monstrous is very interesting! but also it's not like a fun tag name lol so i might change it, haven't decided yet!

but i guess to break down my thought process here - i have never liked that man lmaoooo, i am an og jaehaerys hater. my lil journey here is, i read this series in high school, roughly around the winter of 2012, but i didn't read twoiaf when it came out in 2014, i read that just before i started this blog, so like....idk 2 years ago, roughly, but i was Aware Of Its Existence (they didn't have it at school, the library was kind of far, and it felt like a stupidly expensive book to ask for at the time). i had kinda skimmed over the short stories the princess & the queen and the rogue prince (don't ask me when they came out, icr), and had read all the twow preview chapters so it wasn't like i wasn't up on all the asoiaf world stuff, i just hadn't been able to get my hands on twoiaf, which I do think impacted my view of jaehaerys because the thing is...i just didn't understand the jaehaerys appeal. i won't get into the wanky aspects of fandom (i mean i will if someone asks but idk if you care lol), but i would say in the like 2010-2014 era the fandom was p staunchly and loudly pro targaryen, and not just in a "i love the rot" way but in a "they are the promised heroes" type of way and i never jived with it. i did not enjoy the vast majority of dany's chapters on my first read, nor did i enjoy this weird "well if you like the starks you're a NORMIE" takes that i was constantly seeing, and the sansa v arya war was insane (i'm blocked and have blocked just so many people lol).

i say all that because everyone was UP jaehaerys' ass. i won't name names but i remember a common rebuttal to the "well george is kinda critiquing incest-in-fantasy here and i'm not sure this series is going to end with an incestuous targ restoration" stance was "well if incest is so bad why do jaehaerys and alysanne exist huh? check AND mate incest hater" and it was like............alright, so this is a fandom of deeply unserious people who like to think they are the Expert On Themes instead of just another schmuck with a blog like everyone else. it was just a very condescending tone, always, and it turned me off the targs but especially turned me off jaehaerys.

and it was also like....but what has he done to be so beloved in this fandom??? again, this is pre twoiaf, and then post-twoiaf but pre f&b, so all we know about this dude is that he was called the conciliator because he pardoned the people who sided with maegor, he "protected the faith", he married his sister who gave the watch the gift, he abolished prima noctus, he built a dirt road, he was besties with barth. okay? i always thought the move with the gift was annoying and goofy behavior & i feel very vindicated on being right there esp if aegon’s dream was real, and i’ve always thought the marriages for his kids were kinda weird once we got those in twoiaf and WHAT DO YOU KNOW. like, pre twoiaf everyone was hyping him up as this great king, this paragon of valyrian supremacy, oh he’s so smart and politically minded but he’s not overly cruel, and it was like. we know little about this man in his day to day life though. we know damn well whatever good robert did as king was largely jon arryn's influence so Why are we pretending like just because jaehaerys passed a few good laws it means HE was the one responsible for those ideas (and again I WAS RIGHT). is what he’s doing even that good??

AND THEN FIRE AND BLOOD CAME OUT. and everyone was crying screaming throwing up about how stupid he is, how cruel he is, how weird he is about his daughters, and then people started saying “well you’re being unfair if you don’t like him because-“ i don’t give a shit because i’m validated for not liking that man’s vibes thanks!!!! like…yeah he IS a paragon of targaryen supremacy and this is not a good thing! and especially when you factor in how often the patriarchs of the series have these deeply rooted, very disturbing flaws, i thought the backlash to f&b re: “he ruined jae & aly!” so silly. of COURSE he was weird about his daughters, he eloped with his 12 year old sister and when confronted over it basically said “i do what i want fuck you” that’s not romantic it’s INSANE BEHAVIOR and i’ll stand on that forever!!! marrying your siblings is deranged and idgaf about what magic or political reasoning they have ESPECIALLY when jaehaerys himself refuses a valyrian marriage several times over when it makes more political sense to go that route (in both his own marriage and in the marriages of his grandchildren).

so! i always thought he was boring and weird, then f&b came out and i was vindicated. the thing is, as i read, i guess i was also like. but what is the fuckijg POINT of this guy! he dominates the f&b narrative when there’s way more interesting characters, he has no redeeming qualities, every good thing he does is usually overshadowed by his reasoning being heinous and disturbing, but this book is pushing this idea that he’s the good one, he’s the blueprint, so is it JUST an exploration of like, what ~being a good person~ really means and how reputations & history are very malleable depending on who is recording it??

And then i really started to dig into Saera. Her isolation, her drinking, her sexually tormenting the court fool, the way jaehaerys is always giving her gifts and "indulging" her, the way she's brought before the throne instead of in a private room because what she did is considered like, treasonous basically (what she did being, of course, having sex without her father's permission, lmao!), her very hysterical confrontation with her parents, Jonquil Darke forcing her to watch her boyfriend be murdered, Jaehaerys' insistence on refusing to forgive her and calling her a whore, and of course this weird exchange:

“What have you done?” the king said, when at last the princess ran out of words. “Seven save us, what have you done? Have you given one of these boys your maidenhead? Tell me true.” “True?” said Saera. It was in that moment, with that word, that the contempt came out. “No. I gave it to all three. They all think they were the first. Boys are such silly fools.”

"They all think they were the first." they all think it. i don't think any of those three boys were the first - i think she'd lost her virginity well before she started fooling around with them and when I first read that part my first thought was "I think Jaehaerys knows damn well who she lost her virginity to" and I started spiraling from there.

I decided to do a write up of Jaehaerys Being Deeply Weird Towards His Girls and while there's some things I would change - in particular, I think I'd add more to the Alyssa, Viserra, and Gael sections - there's a reason that the Saera section in particular seemed to really spark off a lot of conversation (not to toot my own horn here lmao) and that reason, imo, is that a lot of people read about what happened between Saera and jaehaerys and go "now what in the goddamn hell is THAT about." Saera more than any of Jaehaerys' kids is imo the canary in the coal mine, so to speak - whatever George intended with F&B, I do think he meant for us to look at the way Jaehaerys talks about Saera and go "this guy has some fucking ISSUES." I don't know that he meant for it to go all the way up to "Jaehaerys is molesting his own kids" route but I do fully believe he meant something in that realm of "Jaaehaerys is cruel to a sexually abusive point to his children" the same way that like, Tywin and Cersei sexually abuse Tyrion but don't outright rape him themselves. I think Jaehaerys was always meant to be aman who is remembered fondly but was an absolute monster in his private life, in contrast to both the kings he succeeded (maegor and aenys) and as a point of comparison to our "modern day" patriarchs who have their own hang ups surrounding their daughters in Tywin, Doran, Ned, Robert, Jon, and Hoster.

#asks #anti jaehaerys i targaryen #anti asoiaf fandom #shaggy1234 #and like tbc re: incest i do think sometimes george is writing these scenes bc he has an incest kink and i think that's fine #i'm not about to pretend like i don't find the parent/child incest fascinating HELLO my aligon visnyra and jacenyra tags B U T #just bc he thinks incest is sexy doesn't mean he isn't like Saying Something Here & that's my issue #jaehaerys the cruel #gael and the bard

46 notes · View notes

i-guess-im-into-this-now · 9 months ago

Text

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E19 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lakan - strategist. Maomao's biological father.

Lihaku - the military officer who took Maomao out of the Rear Palace

Jinshi is thinking about the conversation he had with Maomao about meeting Lakan. He looks so concerned; he can't stop thinking about that look in her eyes. Things are in such an uncertain place between the two of them. The gulf has widened, and threatens to widen further.

Jinshi is hiding so many things from Maomao, he likely thinks he's protecting her, but what he must do to keep those secrets threatens to drive the two further apart. Sharing his secrets would also drive them apart. And the current situation is not tenable. Disaster looms for Jinshi and he knows it.

Gaoshun tries to redirect Jinshi's focus to a ceremony that he's required to perform later that afternoon. Maomao figured out Jinshi has been doing something ceremonial during her time here, a purification ceremony, I think she said.

Lihaku has learned to turn to Maomao to solve mysteries.

Lihaku: We've got a problem on our hands.

Do we? It's funny that he thinks she has any responsibility in this. I mean she will certainly step up to solve this, but she in no way is obligated to.

Something about the Maomao-Lihaku dynamic is really entertaining to me. Maybe it's because their interactions are so transactional. They are each a little disgusted by the other, even if they sort of respect one another. But they can really only connect on their desire to solve a mystery, which Lihaku presents now.

Various seemingly unrelated misfortunes have befallen the palace in the last year. Everything could have been leading up to the theft of some ceremonial items, and the only clue is the presence of a tall court lady (or man).

Maomao: When many coincidences manifest one on top of the other intent emerges in the overlap.

I happen to remember the presence of a suspicious man who was around at the death of Sir Kounen and the poisoning of the court official who oversaw the warehouses. So perhaps we will get some answers about who this man is soon.

I also can't forget that Lakan investigated the warehouse fire and found that ivory pipe that started the explosion. He also was the one who got Gaoshun to look into the poisoning case of the palace official who ate toxic seaweed. Given how astute he is, Lakan is either involved, or has this mystery figured out and is letting things play out for some motive that I can't determine. Also, it seems that Lakan would like Maomao to solve this case. But why? What does he gain from that? Having her involved puts her in danger. Is that what he wants?

Because Maomao is stepping into a real conspiracy now. It's about as dangerous position as she has ever been in this show.

Jinshi shows up. LOL. He's scary when he's jealous, and Lihaku has no trouble reading the situation, so he books it out of there. Maomao on the other hand doesn't bother to try to read into Jinshi's behavior and proceeds as normal.

And it occurs to me now that the storytellers are being a bit meta.

Maomao: When many coincidences manifest one on top of the other intent emerges in the overlap.

Because they gave us this quote from Maomao right after they just got done telling us Jinshi is about to perform a ceremony, and that someone has stolen some ceremonial items. A coincidence? Not likely. The larger conspiracy that Maomao is trying to solve right now, was all for the purpose of getting to those ceremonial items. That's a whole lot of work to do if you aren't setting up something big. Something like trying to murder a prince maybe? And I may be back on my bullshit again, but I don't think so. I don't know who or why or how, but I can feel it in my story-loving soul, someone's aiming for our beloved male lead!

Actually there are any number of people who could be after Jinshi. He's in a terribly vulnerable position. By birth he is in the line of succession to the throne, but due to some deception he was removed. Anyone who discovered his identity and wants him out of the way could be behind this. He's got all of the vulnerabilities of being a prince, but not all of the protections. Or this could have to do with his duties as the palace manager. He presides over cases and hands out judgements, perhaps someone feels he did so unjustly and wants revenge? Or it could be anything, this is a fricking palace intrigue story, after all!

Lakan is an obvious suspect, but I don't think it's him. He maneuvered Maomao to get involved in this. Why would he do that if he were behind it all? It's more likely that he wants her to unravel it. Why not just expose this conspiracy himself? Is he actually trying to help Jinshi? This is such a twisted up tale.

Jinshi: What was the nature of your rendezvous with that office?

That Jinshi sees Lihaku as a romantic rival will never not be funny to me. There is just nothing at all between the two.

Maomao offers to tell Jinshi about what she discussed with Lihaku. I'm so glad she offered! Last time she solved a mystery she didn't share it with Jinshi, and they've been in such a weird place, I really wasn't sure she would want to do this. Is she taking pity on Jinshi because he's acting jealous, or does she want his thoughts on this mystery?

Actually, I think Maomao does her best mystery solving when she works with Jinshi. He is encouraging and supportive, and she thrives with that. Perhaps, this mystery has her really stumped or worried, and so she's relieved to bring it up with Jinshi. And it feels so good to watch these two working through this together! It's like watching a simpler time from and earlier episode.

After presenting the facts to Jinshi, Maomao quiets. Jinshi thinks it's odd that she isn't eager to solve this case. I do too.

Jinshi: You're not excited by this?

Maomao lets out a frustrated sigh, like he's not picking up on something, and gives the following explanation, though it sounds like a begrudging recitation, rather than honest:

Maomao: I am but a humble servant, I fear. I exist only to do as I'm told.

Jinshi gives an almost exasperated response.

And then Jinshi seems to have an "a-ha" moment right after that, and offers her an incentive for taking the case... I'm thinking Maomao is angling to get something she wants out of this. Perhaps Maomao took Suiren's words to heart last episode.

Suiren: You may appear apathetic, but you're keen. You know where you stand, and how to play the game. Suiren: If you view everything in terms of status, then you'll miss opportunities.

It seems Maomao is eager to solve this case, but she's not going to do it for nothing this time. It's an opportunity for her to gain something she wants.

And Jinshi is almost giddy to make an offer to Maomao. He knows she's going to love what he has in mind. Maomao is comically over the top when it comes to her enthusiasm for medicinal ingredients, and she freaks Jinshi out when she climbs up on his desk and laughs maniacally in his face. Gaoshun has to pull her off. Jinshi and Maomao are so delighted with themselves and each other, it's a beautiful moment of harmony, which Gaoshun isn't sure is better than having them at odds.

Serendipity (coincidence or something more?) has landed Maomao in the records archive with exactly the person who can help her solve her mystery. Because this particular court official knows all about the Board of Rites that oversees ceremonies, he used to work on that board. Yet another one of the "coincidences" that Maomao is looking into has a connection to ceremonies. Seriously, that's a lot of foreshadowing, something bad is about to go down at this ceremony, huh?

It seems that someone went to an awful lot of trouble to take out two officials who oversee the ceremonies and stole some of the ceremonial equipment. Plus this official in the archives was demoted when he raised questions about the safety of these ceremonies. "An accident waiting to happen," is how the official described it. What a convenient way to take out an important person and make it seem like a coincidence. Maomao remembers yet another coincidence that involves the three brothers who work at the metalsmith that creates ceremonial items. This has to do with that ceremonial tool that had me worried from a couple episodes back no doubt. The one Lakan made sure to bring up to Jinshi. I don't have the details figured out, but Maomao does, and she's starting to worry now.

No, she's not worried, she's terrified. Someone has had a plan in the works for over a year, to assassinate a high ranking noble Jinshi (she, like me, already knows it's him, even if she won't admit it). And Maomao only just figured it out. She's not sure if she will be able to get there in time to stop it, but damn it she's trying! Girl is about to bust open a huge conspiracy!

Run Maomao! Run! Go save your prince!

Ah shit. Her status means she can't enter. But! Jinshi is in danger, right now! She can't back down.

Maomao: I'm just a servant with no authority to speak of. But if something happens it'll be too late for anything but regret!

Oh brave Maomao! This guard is threating her with his giant cudgel but she's not giving up. And what an image! Little Maomao on the steps standing up to the big armed guard who looms threatening above!

She accuses him of being in league with the saboteur. And that does it. He bashes her in the face! Oh shit! That guard comes down the stairs and I'm pretty sure he's trying to kill her. The other guards think so too, because someone is able to stop him. Maomao meant to provoke him, as a means of creating a commotion, but it's not enough to disrupt the ceremony. And Maomao is pretty messed up from that blow to the head.

Maomao is pushing through by sheer force of will, unconsciousness threatening to take over. She ignores the pain, and the danger, and stands back up because she needs to save someone's life.

Maomao is a goddamn hero, y'all. This persistence in the face of overwhelming odds, in pursuit of a noble purpose; it makes for great characters. And in a love story it's romantic as fuck.

But no matter what she says or does, it's not enough. She doesn't have the status to disrupt this ceremony.

But Lakan does.

Friends. I can't breath. This is peak drama.

Lakan is pretty intense for a moment with the guard, when he says:

Lakan: You have hurt her.

Maomao doesn't turn around, claims she doesn't want to see who it is. But she knows it's Lakan. And she knows his presence here is not a coincidence, as nothing in this episode has been. But there isn't time for that, she needs to move quickly. She is permitted past the guards, but how to stop the ceremony without being executed for it later?

There isn't time to think it through, she sees the disaster is moments from happening and she simply runs and tackles the officiant of the ceremony out of the way, as the giant apparatus comes crashing down.

I am so here for this moment.

Maomao realizes that she made it in time. Realizes her leg is injured. But she is addled from the blow to the head, because as soon as she sees Jinshi she asks for the ox bezoar that he offered. Girl, this guy is going to give you his whole life.

And of course it's Jinshi. It had to be! Maomao looks a wreck, with her face swollen, her nose bleeding, and her leg broken. But she's alive, and because of her brilliant mind, and bravery, so is Jinshi.

Jinshi is in shock. Trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. Perhaps only moments from losing his shit, once he knows which direction to lose it in. He sees the state Maomao is in and he's on the verge of tears. So am I.

Maomao: I don't understand. Why is Master Jinshi here?

I'll allow her this confusion right now because she just got smashed upside the head, but later when she's recovered, she's not allowed to deny who and what Jinshi is any more. It's too fucking much at this point.

Maomao is disoriented, but she's done what she came here to do, and now she can let herself fall unconscious. After all Jinshi is here, he looks awfully sad, but he's capable and kind, he'll take care of her.

Jinshi is so distraught to have her fall unconscious in his arms. He does call her "Maomao," this time, as he begs her to stay with him. That lost little "please" at the end is going to stick with me for a long while.

Every person in this room, is useless in a crisis. There are at least a dozen people standing around doing nothing.

Jinshi leaves with Maomao in his arms. He doesn't acknowledge anyone, including Lakan, who looks rather shocked. Shocked because Maomao got hurt, when he didn't intend it, or shocked because Jinshi responded differently than Lakan expected? Or did he think she died? In any case, one of Lakan's well planned strategies didn't work out how he intended. I don't know if Jinshi is even able to spare a thought as to why Lakan might be here, or what his role in this whole event might have been. To me it seems, Lakan knew what was going on, but that he wasn't behind it. Perhaps his interest in bothering Jinshi was to try to help him? I don't know. I'm sure we will find out more about Lakan's role soon enough.

There are a lot of people that saw Maomao force her way into the building and save Jinshi's life. And a lot of those same people saw Jinshi walk out with her in his arms. And everyone of them showed Jinshi deference as he left. Too bad that Maomao missed it. Will it matter that people saw this, does it mean anything in this setting?

Is there symbolism happening right now? Probably! I also wish I knew what the lyrics to this song were.

Maomao is bleeding and broken, unconscious, but without her actions, it would be Jinshi who is hurt, or more probably dead. A trail of Maomao's blood trails behind as Jinshi leaves with her in his arms.

Jinshi has to be thinking about how Maomao ended up being there just in time to save him. If it truly were just an accident, then there would have been no way for her to know about it, which means the crashing apparatus was planned. That someone tried to kill him. Jinshi has to know that there are people who would like him dead, perhaps people have even tried to come at him before. And for much of this show we have seen Jinshi try to keep Maomao away from the more dangerous parts of his life. Today, what he feared has happened. Maomao was injured, because she got tangled up in the danger that is Jinshi's life. But if she hadn't he would have died.

So what will Jinshi do? Will he push Maomao away to keep her safe, so she doesn't get hurt again like she did today? Or will he let her in now? Tell her his secrets and keep her close? How can he best protect Maomao, by pushing her away or pulling her close?

And what will Maomao do when she wakes? She can't deny who Jinshi is any longer.

Also, will whomever is behind this be discovered? Will they try again?

To start at the beginning: Episode 1

Next episode: Episode 20

#apothecary diaries #the apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #jinmao #jinshi x maomao

33 notes · View notes

shiki-aki · 6 days ago

Text

Free Will and Why Akira Follows Shiki in ED1

(originally written on Twitter)

Bit of a short meta that I wanted to do because I woke up with Shikiaki thoughts this morning lol. Because of tweet limit, I can't exactly go into a full, in-depth analysis, but I'll try to explain my thoughts as concisely as I can.

When Akira learns about the truth of Nano, his thoughts are that Nano was "made into a test subject againt his will." Akira empathizes with Nano and understands why Nano must've gone on a rampage, to which Emma taunts him by saying "Does the story hit a little too close to home?"

The answer is yes, it does. Because Akira was also used as a test subject against his will. Emma and Gwen reveal that they plan to capture Akira and continue the research, thus depriving Akira of his free will/agency once more. Akira isn't valued for who he is, but for his blood.

As it turns out, Emma and Gwen aren't the only ones after Akira. Arbitro is also interested in Akira for his blood. Akira is stripped of his humanity even further. Rather than being viewed as his own person, he becomes relegated to merely "a tool to satisfy other people's greed."

As Akira watches Nano fight, he realizes that Nano's despair comes from being experimented on, used as a weapon, and "deprived of every freedom and dignity." Akira empathizes with Nano's situation--after all, Akira was also a test subject, and now he's being wanted for his blood.

After Nano's death, Arbitro tries to collect Nano's blood to use it for his own purposes--a gesture that angers and saddens Akira. Seeing Nano being objectified pains Akira because he realizes that this is how others must view him as well; that he's only valued for his blood.

Later, when Shiki asks why Akira didn't leave even though he could've, Akira realizes it was because he was drawn to Shiki's will this whole time; how Shiki followed his own path without letting anyone get in his way. Subconsciously, Akira wants the same freedom that Shiki has.

The darkness in the tunnel reminds Akira of the nothingness that consumed Nano, and he starts to think that there's nothing for him, too. While Shiki follows his own path, Akira can only see nothing, no path in his future.

Then Akira asks Shiki what he thinks of his blood.

(continued) Akira assumes that, like the others, Shiki only sees him for his blood and not who he is as a person, and that he might even cut Akira down. Yet, surprisingly, Shiki says that Akira belongs to him. Shiki wants him--Akira--for who he is and doesn't care about his blood.

Even though Shiki held Akira captive in his apartment, he never fully restricted Akira's free will or denied him his agency. He even left the door unlocked, giving Akira the choice to leave. When Akira declares that he belongs to himself, Shiki is actually pleased at his answer.

Then, finally, Shiki tells Akira to go wherever he likes. He doesn't deny Akira his agency but instead encourages him to be free. Akira can follow his own path--just like Shiki. Akira hesitates, and in the end, Shiki has to pull on his arm and lead him to the light; to freedom.

That's why Akira stays with Shiki in ED1. Because Shiki's the only person who truly valued his existence and saw him for who he is as a person. Because Shiki was the kind of person to follow his own path, and he encouraged Akira to live freely and also follow his own path.

#meta

9 notes · View notes

possiblylando · 1 year ago

Text

Chainsaw Man 152 'early' analysis

Hey look at that I WAS RIGHT

(back on my 150 post)

This whole chapter really does feel like we're in the end game. This isn't something Denji can just walk back on especially after he just starts eating spear (lol) they fucked around and found out. While I do kind of doubt this is actually going to mean Spear is erased from existance- or memory however the chainsaw devil's power really works, its not out of the question.

Looking at it from a meta perspective Spear and Whip are completely disposable as they're both nameless killers who only show up to fight and nothing else. Their death would mean nothing for the story other than Miri having less people pressuring him into being a bastard. Plus spears and whips aren't used in the manga as weapons outside of these hybrids so deleting them really wouldn't change anything. So i'd say its a 60/40 chance as to if denji is going to go through with erasing spear from existence. In retrospect this is a pretty insane chapter for Nayuta cause look at it from her perspective this is basically a villain origin story for her. Her brother who's the only person in the world who actually cares about her as an individual has just gone full murder psycho and told her he doesn't want to be involved with her anymore because he'd rather get off on killing people. Thats fucking INSANE and especially since Nayuta seems to be with the adults during this fight she could very well end up being dragged back into the same hellish system that created Makima.

Nayuta has damn near exclusively been able to live a good life BECAUSE Denji was the one taking care of her. She's a devil and any devil that doesn't work with public safety is killed and the ones that do work with them get locked away underground or get turned into tools. I've said it before but this ending goes to show Denji and Chainsaw Man are one in the same, not that we the readers could have any doubt of that. But everyone in universe seems to be unable to separate the two. Yoshida only wants Denji at the cost of CSM, Makima only wanted CSM at the cost of Denji. After this we might see Nayuta being afraid of the CSM but still caring about Denji.

Im not sure if its intentional or not but Denji's chainsaw eyes seem to be missing for the whole chapter until the end. I would say this is an intentional detail but theres one panel where he has eyes before the climax. So I don't know if this is an error or intentional.

#chainsaw man #csm #denji hayakawa #nayuta #csm 152 #chainsaw man 152

29 notes · View notes

homestuckreplay · 8 months ago

Note

y'know, somehow despite being into this comic for [REDACTED]— uh a whole month, lol, I've never thought of Dad Egbert being a professional clown before. I had always read into his interest as being purely a hobby, albeit one that he put a lot of time and passion into. but now ? my life's been flipped. (you could even say it's been turned upside down.) (ha.) I won't be able to unthink this now and I don't even want to. headcanon accepted !! I really like your meta analyses. sometimes it's stuff I've thought about and/or seen before, and now get to think about again, and sometimes it's a new angle, and sometimes, like now, it's completely new to me !! this blog is so fun :>

hello!! I'm glad I could offer a new perspective on our shared month long passion :D I feel like I've freed myself from the burden of wanting to be right about stuff and I'm just writing about what would be interesting, even if things go very differently the analysis is still worth doing for its own sake. thank you so much for the message and i hope you keep having fun!

#asks #chrono

9 notes · View notes

tonydaddingham · 1 year ago

Note

See I don't remember it being hinted at all that Greasy Johnson was Christ? He was the third baby and his gang rivals Adam's; like it IS a reflection of the war between Heaven and Hell but its a parallel bc both conflicts are ultimately stupid and childish. Plus Gabriel is associated with BABY Jesus. And the box is baby sized. Since this takes place 4 years after S1, Adam, Warlock, and the third baby would be 15 by now.

hi nonnie!!!✨ fuck it let's have some meta/analysis in these last hours that our collective souls inhabit this Good Earth

what i interpreted the other anon to be getting at is exactly as you've put, but possibly one step further. greasy is posed as the antithesis of adam/antichrist, has a gang surrounding him that you could infer are loyal disciples, and is a mirror to adam in that adam on the whole seems to be a well-adjusted and morally-upstanding young boy.

i further think the fact that adam is the antichrist put against greasy being the second coming is a well positioned reflection on the nature vs nurture argument. ultimately adam grew up in a largely loving and supportive environment, and as the literal son of satan, you'd expect his nature, the circumstances of his birth, to rule out every other influence.

ultimately it does for a short time, but adams narrative iirc is that it is reflective of his desire to save the world... he wanted to get rid of things that were Wrong, and naively (he is still an 11-year old boy after all) thought that destroying the world and restarting it would do just that. his friends however reinforce in him that destruction and reparation are not the same thing, and so his upbringing, the nurture, wins.

greasy? we don't know a lot about him, only that he is a bully and represents the opposite of adam and the them, and is possibly (confirmed to be, if you go by that other anon) the third baby in the Botched Swap... ie. the son of the dowlings. aside from the whole allegory that greasy and the johnsonites vs adam and the them are meant to represent the hell vs heaven war as you say, the clue for me is given from the following passage (im sure you know/recall this, anon✨, but im just spitting words now):

so my thoughts are to take this entire passage with a hefty pinch of salt. i reckon that some of it is true (imo, yellow), and some just an idle pondering on what alternatively could have happened to the dowling baby (imo, green and the whole main paragraph). i furthermore like to think that the reference to the breeding of fish is also a clue.

i don't, necessarily, 100% believe that the box contains the literal baby jesus, but i do think it contains something along the lines of directions to it. the fact that it's gabriel, as you said, that is the one who has conveniently lost his memory and is meant to deliver something makes me feel it is definitely a reference to the second coming at the very least.

but how brilliant would it be to tie in the first series/the book into this wider story by harking back to greasy? that not only are we looking at the second coming, but ✨LOL TURNS OUT✨ it was the spare baby from tadfield all along!!! the kid that was kinda left out of s1 but was still deliberately referred to by god!!!

#fuck tags didn't save #good omens #good omens season 2 #the second coming #good omens speculation #put it this way: i completely and wholeheartedly trust the previous anon🙂✨#greasy is the second coming: change my mind challenge #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy #ask

22 notes · View notes

falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand · 2 years ago

Text

i think i finally figured out my problem w the beast!jim thing, i'll put it under the cut bcs i don't know how long this'll be lol

also this isn't meant to be meta or any sort of analysis it's just me thinkin'

so at the end of trollhunters jim is half troll, and it is introduced and held as a choice that cannot be undone, it will be a sacrifice jim has to live with for the rest of his life- we have a whole episode of him coming to terms with that!! it isn't fair, he had an impossible choice and was all but forced to choose, but he made it. and that was the right choice narratively, even though it hurt the character himself. that was the end of trollhunters, and the end of jim's arc in it. it was satisfying, it followed the rules it set, it may have had a tragic element but it was a good ending

and then wizards hits. jim is an important character again (and that's great! nothing wrong with bringing character back lol) and... he doesn't really have much of an arc, from what i remember. (bcs god, that show is a fever dream) he kinda just gets dragged around lol. and also he's got a random shard in his heart from the green knight that's turning him into a full troll?? for some reason?? i literally don't think this was ever really explained? (correct me if i'm wrong pls! i would love for a little logic here lol) and then he's mind controlled by the green knight (still can't figure out his deal lol, why can he mind control he's literally a corpse puppet) and then he gets ✨freed ✨ by claire, and then turns to stone immediately even though the sun isn't up and he wasn't hurt???? and then he's human again. for literally no reason? there goes the '''''''permanent''''' sacrifice of his humanity for literally no discernible reason? other than maybe they wanted human jim for rott?? (not even going into how jim became the protagonist of rott when it really wasn't his fight- let my boy REST😭)

idk it just felt like it undid the narrative significance of the end of trollhunters for legit no reason 🤷🤷

#this isn't a criticism of jim as a character i quite like him and his role in the story #kiwifae says shit #i'm just annoyed at wizards lol #oh man i forgot that claire brought him back by crying on him? that only worked on aaaarrghh bcs of the entire potion they made for him did #they FORGET how troll death works???

18 notes · View notes

distant-screaming · 1 year ago

Text

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

@cornflowershade thank you for tagging me beloved <33

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself - I'm Dee, she/they <3

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? - OH MAN so bbs was my first thai bl, and I found it through an Instagram reel! I had just finished a show and was kind of bored + also starving for queer content, so I went home and instantly binge watched the whole series. And long story short here I am!

favorite ship(s) - inkpa (the lomls), patpran (they're so skrunklgy), waikorn (they could make each other worse <3)!

favorite character(s) - THAT'S HARD if I had to pick... Ink. Definitely. Then Korn

favorite episode(s) - hmm I binge watched bbs so I don't really remember distinct episodes?

favorite scene(s) - okay actually my favorite scene is one I don't think I've ever properly talked about but it's the end of... ep 10 I believe, where patpran hug up on the rooftop. Firstly, the whole deal associated with the rooftop is already so so good, but just the way Pat and Pran trust each other so much, the way they turn to each other for comfort. I think that scene really embodies what I love about the series, which is that patpran face external factors but their relationship in and of itself is so stable and secure.

one thing you would change about the show if you could - definitely agree with sonia, more inkpa! Also, less of patpran's friends being pricks? I understand that's part of the conflict but man they're just rude sometimes

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? - it's impossible to choose favorite fics because all the bbs writers are amazing and I love everything they write, so any bad buddy fic I've ever bookmarked is a rec!

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? - AHEM OKAY to date I've only posted 2 fics for bbs, which are very different tonally but I love them - breathe you in, keep you close to my heart and zero sum game (you're so pretty)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) - every song is patpran if you try hard enough, but also Talk Too Much by COIN and Love You Like That by Dagny.

idk anything else you want us to know? - I'm so grateful to bad buddy for introducing me to bls as a genre, and I hope we keep upping the bar for fantastic representation and shows!

Tags - @user-soundwin @mutlishipperfangirl @solana-ceae and anyone else who wants to participate! <3

#tag game #bad buddy getting to know you #sonia beloved #bbs #distant screaming screams into the void

5 notes · View notes

strifespecibi · 1 year ago

Note

Like domino's pizza? Also what the fuck is cablepool?

so okay. for reference, cable aka nathan summers is this time-traveller who was born many years in the future in a dystopic society. his goal was to hop around and prevent that future from happening. he ended up joining the xmen and yadda yadda, rest is history. domino is his on-again off-again love interest and deadpool is his partner. i'll get to it in a moment

so dominos power is being able to control luck. no, really. she gives her opponents bad luck and in turn gives herself good luck. it is (from the wiki) "…largely participatory - in order for the luck to take effect, domino herself must engage in an action whose chance she can affect. for example, if domino were to stand before a hail of bullets, she would be shot. instead, she must take action; in attempting to avoid the gunfire, she will miraculously bob and weave just right to avoid every single shot." which is SO interesting on its own to pull vriska analysis from. also, one kind of funny note about her design is that her right eye is surrounded by black in the shape of an eyepatch! that eye also glows sometimes. so you see why i think she was the inspiration for vriska. there's also a lot of similarities with her backstory and personality but i'm not a domino scholar and i don't wanna mischaracterize her here so all i can say is if you want to know more about her and how she inspired vriska, check the wiki lmfao

picture of domino for clarity

so now lets wrap around to cablepool, the best example of nicieza yaoi this side of the mississippi. i will be perfectly honest this one isnt even subtext its just canon. they quite literally went to intercourse pennsylvania together. you can watch this amv for examples of what their dynamic is like ive been entranced by it for all of today. also this one because its really funny. regardless. so deadpool was originally created in new mutants vol 1 issue #98 as a mercenary who was hired to take out cable so they spent a lot of their early years trying to kill each other. they are forced to stop avoiding or attempting to kill each other in cable & deadpool vol 1 because of this virus that had infected both of them and thus the only way for them both to survive was to merge their dna structures in an event which i like to call cablepool homoerotic goop cannibalism. the result of this is that cable cannot time travel without taking deadpool with him. following your lover across the multiverse because of fate and to save the world? thats vrisrezi as hell! anyway they cure the virus and they get to stop bodysliding together woohoo. a similar thing happens when cable gets lost in alternate universes and deadpool has to travel through a bunch to save him. then there was everything with cable and providence … so providence was this little paradise island that cable built off of his orbital station called providence that got attacked by aliens and space pirates and deadpool ran in to help only to find oops! cable doesnt actually fully trust him! so cable 'dies' (he doesnt actually die he comes back) along with providence because thats how much he doesnt trust deadpool. which is reminiscent of the jack noir confrontation innit? vriska was so convinced of her own heroism and skill and so afraid of trusting others that she preferred to die than not be at the center of the narrative (fitting as well since deadpool is obviously a very meta character lol). they havent interacted a whole lot beyond that after cable & deadpool ended because the x-editors are evil and hate me and they hate nicieza yaoi and also deadpool is now a Popular Character so they have to tear him away from his roots and make him gay with spiderman instead for some reason. but i get it. get me on a cable & deadpool book i'll be normal (i will not be normal). anyway that book ended in 2008? iirc? which means it was likely On The Mind whilst writing homestuck. and if hussie wasnt into deadpool but WAS into daredevil enough to make a daredevil clone oc i will eat my hat because deadpool And specifically cable & deadpool is like, completely in tune with their writing style. anyway theres my proof that domino is vriska but cablepool is vrisrezi that was most certainly not an excuse to talk about my xmen Hope you all enjoyed it👍

#thank you for letting me talk i loooove talking about intertextuality between homestuck and 'traditional' comics but i rarely get a chance #to

6 notes · View notes

rata-novus · 3 months ago

Text

‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎better late than never!

༄₊ ⊹🎃✧˖°. ☾ october/horror 2024 watches ☽ ༄˖°.🍂.ೃ࿔*:･

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

🎃 Senritsu Kaiki File Kowasugi (10/7-x) overall, not what i expected, but not bad. only got thru half the series in spooky month, will finish eventually.

ep1 (10/7): kinda slow, but not boring. the final shot of the woman in the doorway gave me goosebumps.

ep2 (10/10): first third/half SUPER effective for me, esp the whole part where ichikawa's flashlight would turn off at the same point in the room. creepy. but then the last part was genuinely ?????? super intriguing but idk really what happened? the metaphysical/scifi aspects weren't ~scary~ to me but i keep thinking abt the episode so

ep3 (10/10): monster horror isnt my thing so eh, but the revelation at the end that those 2 characters are slowly turning into kappa like its an infection was neat.

ep4 (10/11): favorite so far, loved the spatial/time manipulation. but the scene of them time traveling. lol. lmao even.

ep5 (10/11): really liking how each episode is its own thing but clearly pointing to something bigger connecting everything. real curious abt what kudo "sees" since his coma incident.

ep6 - 10: DNF. didn't grip me compared to other stuff i wanted to watch, will finish at my own pace eventually.

──────────────୨ৎ────────────── ꒦꒷⭑ ࣭ ๋︶꒦꒷︶꒦꒷⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦ ──────────────୨ৎ──────────────

🎃 milk and serial (10/12) liked. flew by, didn't feel like an hour+. mc was super creepy & unhinged. acting felt real & natural. liked the twists. i think naomi & link finding milk's box w/ address to his torture shack was by his design. sequel maybe?

🎃 the void (10/12) liked. FANTASTIC practical effects, wowzers. kinda okay story, more aesthetics than plot but w/e. BIG silent hill vibes though a cult facilitating a "god" to be born, resurrection/reincarnation, physical manifestations of guilt and grief, etc. but like.... spacey/cosmic horror. v different from most mid-2010s or even modern day horror and i appreciate that.

🎃 the empty man (10/13) idk. intriguing but i really dont get the whole part about the people committing suicide. i feel like this is one of those movies i need to deep dive ppls meta analysis to really ~get it~. bc i don't really. honestly my favorite part was the very beginning w the freaky skeleton. what is he transmitting............

🎃 noroi: the curse (10/13) eh. kinda slow. unclear on certain plot points: what was the significance of kana being psychic and drawing that symbol/face/mask? what's up with the boy - another medium? hori was v distracting and borderline exploitative. liked how the seemingly disjointed segments started to connect together, but unfortunately didnt go all the way (see ? above) and too much unresolved. seen better japanese horror and found footage horror tbh sorry

🎃 late night with the devil (10/14) first off -1000000 for using genAI fuck that. second, god the beginning was as boring & cringey as a real late night talk show. which like, yeah ofc but also. i dont want to watch that so no ty. but lilly's appearance at the end was v cool, split head, coursing electrical energy. really liked that a lot. overall better than i thought it was gonna be, but just to the side of okay.

🎃 lake mungo (10/19) quite sad. being haunted by your future death reminds me of nell from haunting of hill house. alice meeting with the psychic and seeing from the perspective of her ghost in the future, paralleled with her mother in the future doing the same and not sensing alice anymore.... big sad. :( some of the spooky stuff did get to me. the recording of alice seeing her future dead body and the reveal that the neighbor was lurking in the house in one of the recordings especially. wtf grossssssss. overall more sad than scary, but i liked it. more effective for me than i thought it would be after reading reddit posts hating it. i feel like i need to be a defender of it now lmao

🎃 midnight mass overall: forgive me father for i have sinned 🫦 -- dunno if it unseats hill house as my favorite flanagan show but damn it was fantastic.

ep1 (10/19): interesting. if i didnt already know it was abt vampires id be scratching my head rn. the final shot of the cats on the beach was laughable, and thats coming from a sensitive bitch who cant stand animal deaths in horor & frequently uses doesthedogdie lmao ....... rahul kohli can absolutely get it tho

ep2 (10/20): ok first off that whole bit about "pregnant people" was weird af and completely unnecessary. coulda just normalized inclusive language but instead we gotta draw attention to "umm actually ☝️🤓 its usually pregnant women". w/e. -- i think the cats were killed as sustenance (neck wounds), but idk abt the dog being poisoned? the vamp(s) just trying to get rid of the animals on the island so they dont act odd/pick up on the vamps? or smth specifically targeting that one guy, by the nun lady? hmm. -- was the (i presume) vamp stalking the pregnant lady from her house to the clinic bc it could sense her breakthru bleeding??? uew. -- the mimic of the voice near the end was a banger omg so creepy, and i love the reflective eyes v v v good. -- re leeza walking, something in the wine???

ep3 (10/20): is monsignor pruitt this new father paul????? fountain of youth ayoooo. but is he the vampire? nah hes the renfield aint he. what was with the trunk of dirt? ohhh ancestral soil ofc -- theory: the sheriff is gonna be the one to cotton on to smth being wrong bc he doesnt go to the church/drink the wine -- the scene between leeza & joe was so powerful, wow..... -- was father paul poisoned like the dog? kinda bummed if hes dead for good i thought for sure he was gonna be one of the (the only?) antagonists nvm lol, immortal? -- also comparing a vampire to an angel, esp in this context, is sick as hell, love that -- honestly getting big salems lot vibes which i do NOT hate at all tbh, also a bit of exorcist thrown in with the middle east and ruins and smth ~evil~ there

ep4 (10/21): ohhh is monsignor turning into a vampire? sun sensitivity.... -- noooo poor joe :( -- what is up with erin's "miscarriage"/never having been pregnant and her blood reacting to the sun when afair she never drank the wine? -- and riley too damn........

ep5 (10/21): oh hey well guess thats where the title comes from lol -- not, like, super duper crazy with the loooooong chunks of monologue tbh. sometimes it hits like with riley & monsignors back and forth over guilt but other times ehhhh -- speaking of, anyone else down bad for the priest or just me? ok nvm -- so far it seems the og vamp only ate from the stray cats, bowl (bill) and riley so far (maybe the mayor & wife but unclear), and it seems like its been a couple weeks since it arrived so the hunger must not be THAT insatiable, for like 99% of the town population to remain (relatively) unharmed? like, if everyone or even just MOST of them are turned, who they gonna eat? -- on the one hand riley being greeted in death by the uninjured form of the girl he killed in a car crash is beautiful. oh the other hand subjecting the love of your life to watching you burn to fucking death and now shes gonna row back to land with ur smoldering corpse is like. supremely fucked up riley. like i get that erin has to ~see to believe~ but what the hell man. the credits rolling and listening to her screams..... D:

ep6 (10/31): so it's not just the consumption of a vampires blood that makes one a vampire, but death as a catalyst for resurrection. holy shit i love that, flanagan you mad man. -- oh shiiiiit mildred shooting former lover priest in the head damn bitch okay -- bev you pussy ass bitch wont even drink the poison smh my head

ep7 (10/31): "it never felt like a sin, you never felt like a sin and our daughter was never a sin" aoughhhh this got me cryin -- was really rooting for the sheriff to make it out alive :( -- never been religious and have 0 religious trauma but god damn this show got me good, weeping all thru the end

🎃 rosemary's baby (10/22) regrettably by roman polanski, but 🏴‍☠️ so eh. overall i really liked it. i had seen bits and pieces and i feel this is one of those medias that you kind of know through osmosis, but it was still an enjoyable watch, if not disturbing at times. tho minnis voice and mannerisms reminds me of vic's nana from very important people lmaoooo i cant unsee/hear it

🎃 event horizon (10/22) so far INCREDIBLE visuals, giving big hellraiser vibes with the disfigured/cut up bodies & the elaborate incomprehensible yet decorative engine brings to mind a mix of the lament configuration and biblically accurate angels. incredible. -- why only trauma hallucinations from a few of the crew? the rest were just peachy keen? not a smidge of trauma? bummer tbh -- hot damn the gore visuals are blink and u miss it but sick as hell -- but what happened with justin? rescue crew said he was alive but like.... mentally???? -- pacing felt just a titch off, like shtf so close to the end i feel like the descent could have been smoother, but otherwise i really loved this one

🎃 the exorcist (book) (10/1 - 10/23) liked WAY more than i thought i would. gonna be 4 stars for reference. 2 things i disliked: chris' internal monologues were annoying and shes more than a bit of a yuppie (the point i guess), AND the fact that psychokinesis is just a FACT in this world (ie possession can't be concluded by moving objects / mind reading bc those are observable in clinical settings in ppl with mental issues) bothered me so much!!! like..... if a DEMON can read your mind, move objects, as established w regan, you can't just chalk it up to NO WAY being possession. wtf???? anyway, everything else was great. really liked the reveals (regan's paint found at the church desecration, regan speaking backwards & mentioning merrin before he's even seen on page). the foreshadowing of karras' demise. very disturbing scenes iykyk, and even the detective parts were fun in the end. dunno if i'll read the sequel (legion) but i've heard the show is v good? 👀

🎃 hell house llc (10/25) 1 (10/25): love, it's a classic at this point, most of the scares dont get to me but surprisingly a few still do, solid ending 2 (10/25): kind of worse acting than the first but still liked, enjoy where the overarching plot is going re drawing people to the house 3 (10/25): definitely upped the production value, the scene of the actress in the basement with the clown is top tier but otherwise it was okay. first is still the best tbh, feels like they explained too much and im more of a fan of ambiguity. since the first 3 films take place in the same building, there's a weird feeling of familiarity & coziness lmao, i could see this series being a comfort rewatch fr origins (10/26): margot was definitely at the fair where tully/cult was kidnapping ppl for the abaddon hotel sacrifices, huh. -- did NO ONE think to check rebecca's cam w/ the body on the bed???? like they've seen other proof of the supernatural but cmon -- ohh that whole scene of rebecca screensharing w her boss and the pictures leading right up to her bedroom door grossssssss bleghhhh i love it -- overall liked this one a lot. still confused abt some stuff (where was the dad's body? why was patrick's arm better? his place in the cult, are the souls (patricks?) bound to the clown costumes etc), but super effective horror for me. sometimes i dont need all the qs answered u know?

🎃 the outwaters (10/26) ppl on reddit said they hated this as much as skinamarink & both are deathly boring but i LOVED skinamarink so lets gooooo -- 38 minutes in. is like...... no one going to aknowledge these sounds???? -- i get the bugs being creepy but are these donkeys supposed to be ominous? bc they just look like sweet cute babies 2 me -- these are the WORST flashlights in the entire world my GOD. -- suddenly, screaming flesh snakes. sure why not -- ooohh space time fuckery? is robbie the axe man? -- i literally cannot see what's happen 90% of the time, its like trying to watch a movie through a pinprick. like near the end he could have been pointing a flashlight at a bbq beef brisket for all i could tell. certainly a choice meant to invoke the claustrophobia and isolation and confusion of the pov, but missed the mark. by a lot. -- theres some neat ideas in here (time travel/time loop where robbie is the one killed and also the killer, with cosmic horror to boot), if i could see anything. loved skinamarink, super effective for me and though it was grainy at least you could SEE, this was. eh. i will say the sound design was great. would have loved to see literally any part of the entity near the end that's making it! the end itself was actually good imo, grotesque but better than seeing a 90% black screen tbh. potential.

🎃 lovely, dark, and deep (10/29) very interesting visuals, kinda cosmic horror in the woods. reminiscent of the "stairs in the woods" and "search and rescue" nosleep stories. also big PT vibes, especially in the scenes in the house, very cyclical/loop in nature but different traumatic events each go thru. love a horror movie that doesnt hold your and and leaves the interpretation up to the viewer. backrooms-esque liminal space? purgatory? mc processing her grief and trauma? dream sequence? hell? are the woods just real fucked up in this natl park? yes. (unfortunately?) it was kinda explained at the end, but i still really liked it. i dunno now the mc could keep working as a ranger, knowing that they just.... let this shit happen. and to perpetuate it....... i do wonder abt the ranger in the beginning, making the choice to get taken. what was his story?

🎃 a house at the bottom of a lake (10/29 - 10/31) 4.5 stars. idk what exactly happened, but i really loved it. great atmosphere (dark, under water, claustrophobic - frankly do not understand people who say this isnt horror lmao), easy to read in a day, perfect for halloween (when I read it). i interpret the ending as james and amelia still being under the obsession of the house, possibly still underwater. like the past 12-or-so days was a "test" of some sort. what finding the house in the real world means, i dont know, but i'm all for horror not holding my hand and it just being about ~the vibes~ which this one nailed for me. the scenes where the flashlights go off? and then house lights turn on? chilled. incredible what you can enjoy when u dont have a hater yappin in ur ear that it sucks <3

[ * = re ]

(series) • alien (alien*, aliens*, alien 3*, resurrection*, prometheus, covenant, romulus) • hell house llc (1*, 2, 3, origins) • midnight mass

(films) • nightmare on elm street • the thing* • the outwaters • noroi • the void • event horizon • rosemary's baby • lovely, dark, and deep

(youtube) • backrooms (kane pixels)* • gemini home entertainment*

(books) • the exorcist • uzumaki*

(next year, or b4 next halloween) • smile 2 • the substance • in a violent nature • horror in the high desert • leaving dc • i saw the tv glow

#the h files #halloween 2024 #will be editing this as i watch stuff

0 notes

watchinglikeafangirl · 3 years ago

Text

Tumblr is a mess, so I can't find the post that inspired me to write this analysis. It was basically just a post filled with screenshots but now I have to take them myself which is too much effort lol.

Nevermind, here it is because I'm rotting in vegaspete hell and literally dreamt about these two the other night which concerns me a little bit...

VegasPete - a weird meta with chaotic thoughts

So I'm gonna split this is in half but it's about the very dramatic last scene before the credits. I'm talking about the scene Vegas gets shot which left me in pieces and these two really can't get enough of their dramatic act. Like BibleBuild are too good at this, they make me cry each time...

But nevermind. What I'm gonna talk about are the color concept in this scene - because we all know colors say a lot more than we might think - and then it's gonna be some meta about the dialogue between them.

Color theory and religion

We see Vegas more or less stumbling his way alongside the pool, the gun in his hands. He's obviously a broken man and the scenery around him mirrors all of that. It's mainly blue due to the pool though there is a small part of red in the background. His face is mostly just seen halfway because apart from all this blue lights, it's very dark. Not just his bodylanguage shows it all, the whole scenery screams sadness, grief, depression and isolation. The perfect spot to kill oneself.

Many have already pointed out how closely connected VegasPete and religious artefacts are in this show and I would say the pool, which is only seen two times this entire scene, represents holy water. It is deep blue, it's very shiny, very calm and seems to hold some positivity. Vegas wants to kill himself next to holy water that may wash over his dead body or will never reach him at all. It's really symbolic if you think of it. The pool is right there, it could "save" him from hell but he thinks he doesn't deserve any of it and should just die and go to hell. Still, the chance to be redeemed in front of God is right there but he doesn't take it. He doesn't have any self-esteem left, he doesn't deserve any of it in his eyes.

It goes so far, he holds the gun to his head until Pete pops up last minute. Pete originally wore a white shirt that reflects the blue light of the pool so much, he's more or less glowing, really. He saves Vegas and Vegas, who felt like nobody cares how he feels after his father died, who was saved by his loved one, lets out a scream of frustration. More so, the blue light is now a lot more red on him. It is love in a way and it's a short second of relief. But then again, the lights around him turn darker and more blue until he hides in the darkness again. Vegas is really at his lowest point and of course it affects Pete as well. The colors of his shots are not any different.

Then when Vegas is about to break down, Pete hugs him from behind. He holds him tightly. He is still glowing and this whole scene weights so much heavier than every other before. I can't really name what it is but each word and guesture shows the importance of the characters for each other. The way Pete keeps holding Vegas while shining that much, he looks like an angel holding a lost soul. It's breath-taking and kinda beautiful if you ask me. Those things make this scene so pure. They mean everything they say with words and their bodies and that kind of devotion is incredible.

Vegas still rejects Pete and gets up again, shoulders falling, head hanging, arms protecting. He is still broken. But Pete being there still makes a difference and Vegas can't deny Pete is the only person he wanted there, the person he wished would be there when he was about to shoot himself. Vegas is in a reddish light now but it's still gloomy around him. It's a technique to draw a line between them. Vegas got up and rejected Pete - red light because of love and war. Pete stays on the ground - blue light because he got rejected. And then it's the first time we see the pool. It's when Pete begs Vegas to stay. An angel that held a lost soul but said soul is now vanishing but the angel is still an angel trying to help the lost soul next to the holy water. I know, complicated and I'll try to explain what I mean. You see, Pete really wants Vegas to hear him out, he stays on his knees, begging. The holy water aka pool is still there and like I said before, Vegas kept a certain distance to it. We never even saw the pool before but now we do which means Pete, who looks like an angel, is Vegas' chance to redeem himself. He is Vegas' holy water. Guys, I freaked out when I saw this.

Pete continues to stay blue but awakens something in Vegas when he gets angry. Vegas starts to listen, is concerned and his red light shines on Pete's face the moment he starts turning around. It's love between them. But love has the same color as blood. Vegas gets shot and the love is turned into war. Pete aggressively shoots that guy, completely blue, screaming all over the place, eyes wide. He is shocked. He had his Vegas back and now that's taken from him again. So yes, he is blue.

And then we get this point of view with Vegas lying next to the pool, nearly touching it and Pete above him with blood on his back that freaking looks like wings. Like this shot gives me Romeo and Juliet vibes, truly. It felt as religious as this one. Pete is a fallen angel, covered in blood because his love "died". The suit covered all that blood from before because he put on a mask whenever he wore his uniform. But now he unleashes his true self which is as destructive as Vegas'. In the end, Vegas never fell into the holy water and Pete lost his wings so many years ago. This image mirrors all these two characters are about, how much their past marked them. Vegas never felt like he was enough because he tried to reach the ideal his father always demanded. And Pete got beaten even when he won and was left unnoticed until he wasn't himself any more. So this situation here shows all of that coming back to them. It's closure.

Dialogue and giving up

Okay, i have to calm down, I got all worked up for the other part.

The scene starts truly heartbreaking because Vegas is stuck in his head. He repeats the same sentences and Pete keeps assuring him he's there which shows the furstration and despair they feel. Vegas feels left alone now. His father is dead, got killed and even though he hated him, Gun gave him a moment to shine. But it was all for nothing. Getting the approval of his father was not what fulfilled him and now that Gun is dead, Vegas' whole word crumbles.

"I got nothing left."

Pete knows the pain Vegas is in but he has to remind Vegas there's no nothing when he is "right here". Vegas is not alone but he seems to not hear any of Pete's words. He knows Pete is there, yes but he doesn't appreciate it. He falls on his knees, teary voice breaking, wondering why he is even worth it.

But he hides his face when he asks. He can't hide his voice but he can hide his feelings. He looks away because he wants Pete there, he doesn't want to send Pete away. His words are not true thus he turns away and his face is not visible. The way his voice breaks is Pete's sign that he was right to come looking for Vegas, that Vegas needs him and is only angry and sad and overwhelmed.

"Would you stop saying that you got nothing left?"

Vegas' despair is frustrating Pete because he is not appreciated and pushed away when he clearly wants to be there for Vegas. They both don't have to suffer on their own any longer, so Pete tries to get Vegas out of his head into the real world where Pete is there and won't leave. Vegas wanted to shoot himself just moments ago when he was all by himself, there's the danger of him trying again once he is left alone and Pete just wants to save him from that hole.

"Don't turn you back on me like this. Because...because I'm hungry."

That was the moment I teared up because it's so obviously about something else than food. Don't know if I even need to explain what it's about but it was the line that made me understand how deep the dom/sub desires and needs between them were. Pete craves Vegas, his "food". Vegas is not looking at him, Vegas is evading him because it hurts to see he makes Pete suffer because he himself suffers.

But it's not just about love and how desperatly Pete wants to be appreciated and how much he misses Vegas. No, Pete likes being taken care of and he knows Vegas likes to take care of him. He submittes to Vegas in such an open way like he never did before. Before, he was forced but he chooses to indetify as Vegas' pet and the question here is, how deep does that need go? Is he just saying that because he wants Vegas to stop saying nobody cares or does he really see himself as Vegas' pet? I'd say it's a bit of both. Pete wants to be appreciated, he needs the recognition only Vegas can give him and the only way he will feel good is when Vegas looks at him, sees him and takes care of him. He is hungry for attention and love and he tries to remind Vegas of him, tries to remind Vegas of his existence. Pete won't give up. So, he gets angry when Vegas says "Can somebody else take you to eat" because it's a rejection. Vegas rejects Pete's offer to go with him and be with him and escape it all. The pain is too much, Vegas always isolates himself when angry and forgets other people. He still pushes Pete away though he didn't forget him, not like before but I don't know if that's comforting to know...

"And why the heck did you tell me that you wanted to be with me?"

When Pete starts to yell, something changes within Vegas. He recognizes Pete. Pete has feelings and those are hurt because Vegas is doing the same mistake. He sees that and stops with his act of isolation.

"I'm your pet, aren't I? And I'm hungry now. And you walked out. So I had to come find my owner."

Pete is going all out to be heard and right here, Vegas listens. Pete reminds him of all the feelings they shared when they were alone, reminds him of what Vegas holds as memory so deerly. He is truly devastated because Vegas just left the room without him as if he doesn't exist. Not being seen by everbody else is fine but not being seen by Vegas hurts the most.

This is just really interesting to see because we never saw Pete beg Vegas. We never saw him get on his knees and giving up any control or pride. It's too raw and thankfully Vegas snaps out of it, even turns around when Pete asks him to. This whole dialogue is a rollercoaster because the voices change from teary to disappointed to yelling to soothing and I just need to lie down for a bit.

"Vegas. Vegas. Could you please turn around to see me?"

#vegaspete #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche #build jakapan #bible wichapas #i can't get over them

69 notes · View notes