#This turned into a whole meta analysis lol

[ryan-golds]

a lot of people wanted a redemption arc for the prosecutor but while i don't actually like him, i like that he's a morally grey character. he only sees things black and white and doesn't see he's being a terrible person toward eun ha with how forceful and obsessed he's being but believes it's in the name of justice and saving her. it's ironic for him to think bad people don't change while he thinks he's holier than thou but never changes anything about himself. he thinks eun ha is brainwashed or something when i think he hopes to control her too (sorry for the ramble! you're a fun person to see in the tag!)

Hi anon!!

I have to admit I was one of the people that wanted a redemption arc for prosecutor but after he refused to change his stance towards Jihwan even after he learned he was mistaken all along...I don't think we'll get it and if we do, I think it's going to be something very mild in comparison to what could be a really good redemption arc.

About prosecutor being a morally grey character...you definitely got me thinking for a minute here and you're very right. I also realized that he's the personification of not only society's stigma towards ex convicts but also of the superiority complex quite a few people who work with / adjecent to law enforcement have towards those who don't have a squeaky clean record. Which leads me to believe there won't be much redemption for him since realistically, the real world doesn't work like that (but this is a kdrama so I might be wrong here).

You're so right about him being so blind about his own actions towards Eunha, he's basically having the behavior he thinks Jihwan is having. Brainwashing is definitely the word I was looking for yesterday, it's so obvious with the whole 'I'll just think she's here for a brief moment' line. Honestly I wouldn't be shocked if he'd be the controlling type if he ever dated Eunha, I can see him not wanting her to hang out with x or z because 'they're not good enough' according to his standards. Not to mention that, given that he completely disregarded her feelings for her home, threatening to remove her by force regardless of how she'd hypothetically feel there in a situation of danger, I also wouldn't be surprised if he'd be the type to ignore her feelings if they disagreed because 'he knows best'. It's almost funny how when we really look at it, he's having the behaviors he himself despises and that he tries to project onto Jihwan, who's the complete opposite. Realistically, Jihwan doesn't want the prosecutor around for valid reasons yet he hasn't pressured Eunha to give up her connection to the prosecutor once. It shows a respect for her own agency that prosecutor definitely doesn't have.

(And you are so sweet! I hope you know you made me smile so hard, sometimes I think I talk too much in the tag so thank you for enjoying my ramblings <3 and feel free to ramble anytime, I love getting asks!)

[bthump]

lmao also speaking of freudian analysis, how about guts saving casca from rape while depicting his sword as if it's the penetrating object instead

i mentioned guts cutting off wyald's dick in that post the other day, but man i should've reread the actual scene bc this goes a step further, especially as a prelude to the eclipse. like this is not disabusing me of the impression that the eclipse rape is all about cuckolding lol, and that guts' interest in casca is largely predicated on affirming his own masculinity.

cut for topless casca and also being a potentially triggering if non-graphic sexual assault scene obviously

[atopvisenyashill]

Why do you think Jaehaerys sexually assaulted his own daughter?( I'm genuinely curious)

I have two dedicated tags to this if you want to dig in a bit more - "gael and the bard" and the newly added "jaehaerys the cruel" tags, with this meta here being the kind of jumping off point into that whole theory/analysis. gael and the bard is more focused on gael targaryen herself and the mystery surrounding her pregnancy and suicide; there's a lot of bael the bard imagery surrounding her, being called the winter princess, gael being one letter off from bael, the father of her baby noted to have been a singer, and her status as like, an eternal maiden because of her relationship with alysanne. the jaehaerys the cruel moniker is just a reference to maegor the cruel - i think the play between maegor being outwardly monstrous and jaehaerys being privately monstrous is very interesting! but also it's not like a fun tag name lol so i might change it, haven't decided yet!

but i guess to break down my thought process here - i have never liked that man lmaoooo, i am an og jaehaerys hater. my lil journey here is, i read this series in high school, roughly around the winter of 2012, but i didn't read twoiaf when it came out in 2014, i read that just before i started this blog, so like....idk 2 years ago, roughly, but i was Aware Of Its Existence (they didn't have it at school, the library was kind of far, and it felt like a stupidly expensive book to ask for at the time). i had kinda skimmed over the short stories the princess & the queen and the rogue prince (don't ask me when they came out, icr), and had read all the twow preview chapters so it wasn't like i wasn't up on all the asoiaf world stuff, i just hadn't been able to get my hands on twoiaf, which I do think impacted my view of jaehaerys because the thing is...i just didn't understand the jaehaerys appeal. i won't get into the wanky aspects of fandom (i mean i will if someone asks but idk if you care lol), but i would say in the like 2010-2014 era the fandom was p staunchly and loudly pro targaryen, and not just in a "i love the rot" way but in a "they are the promised heroes" type of way and i never jived with it. i did not enjoy the vast majority of dany's chapters on my first read, nor did i enjoy this weird "well if you like the starks you're a NORMIE" takes that i was constantly seeing, and the sansa v arya war was insane (i'm blocked and have blocked just so many people lol).

i say all that because everyone was UP jaehaerys' ass. i won't name names but i remember a common rebuttal to the "well george is kinda critiquing incest-in-fantasy here and i'm not sure this series is going to end with an incestuous targ restoration" stance was "well if incest is so bad why do jaehaerys and alysanne exist huh? check AND mate incest hater" and it was like............alright, so this is a fandom of deeply unserious people who like to think they are the Expert On Themes instead of just another schmuck with a blog like everyone else. it was just a very condescending tone, always, and it turned me off the targs but especially turned me off jaehaerys.

and it was also like....but what has he done to be so beloved in this fandom??? again, this is pre twoiaf, and then post-twoiaf but pre f&b, so all we know about this dude is that he was called the conciliator because he pardoned the people who sided with maegor, he "protected the faith", he married his sister who gave the watch the gift, he abolished prima noctus, he built a dirt road, he was besties with barth. okay? i always thought the move with the gift was annoying and goofy behavior & i feel very vindicated on being right there esp if aegon’s dream was real, and i’ve always thought the marriages for his kids were kinda weird once we got those in twoiaf and WHAT DO YOU KNOW. like, pre twoiaf everyone was hyping him up as this great king, this paragon of valyrian supremacy, oh he’s so smart and politically minded but he’s not overly cruel, and it was like. we know little about this man in his day to day life though. we know damn well whatever good robert did as king was largely jon arryn's influence so Why are we pretending like just because jaehaerys passed a few good laws it means HE was the one responsible for those ideas (and again I WAS RIGHT). is what he’s doing even that good??

AND THEN FIRE AND BLOOD CAME OUT. and everyone was crying screaming throwing up about how stupid he is, how cruel he is, how weird he is about his daughters, and then people started saying “well you’re being unfair if you don’t like him because-“ i don’t give a shit because i’m validated for not liking that man’s vibes thanks!!!! like…yeah he IS a paragon of targaryen supremacy and this is not a good thing! and especially when you factor in how often the patriarchs of the series have these deeply rooted, very disturbing flaws, i thought the backlash to f&b re: “he ruined jae & aly!” so silly. of COURSE he was weird about his daughters, he eloped with his 12 year old sister and when confronted over it basically said “i do what i want fuck you” that’s not romantic it’s INSANE BEHAVIOR and i’ll stand on that forever!!! marrying your siblings is deranged and idgaf about what magic or political reasoning they have ESPECIALLY when jaehaerys himself refuses a valyrian marriage several times over when it makes more political sense to go that route (in both his own marriage and in the marriages of his grandchildren).

so! i always thought he was boring and weird, then f&b came out and i was vindicated. the thing is, as i read, i guess i was also like. but what is the fuckijg POINT of this guy! he dominates the f&b narrative when there’s way more interesting characters, he has no redeeming qualities, every good thing he does is usually overshadowed by his reasoning being heinous and disturbing, but this book is pushing this idea that he’s the good one, he’s the blueprint, so is it JUST an exploration of like, what ~being a good person~ really means and how reputations & history are very malleable depending on who is recording it??

And then i really started to dig into Saera. Her isolation, her drinking, her sexually tormenting the court fool, the way jaehaerys is always giving her gifts and "indulging" her, the way she's brought before the throne instead of in a private room because what she did is considered like, treasonous basically (what she did being, of course, having sex without her father's permission, lmao!), her very hysterical confrontation with her parents, Jonquil Darke forcing her to watch her boyfriend be murdered, Jaehaerys' insistence on refusing to forgive her and calling her a whore, and of course this weird exchange:

“What have you done?” the king said, when at last the princess ran out of words. “Seven save us, what have you done? Have you given one of these boys your maidenhead? Tell me true.” “True?” said Saera. It was in that moment, with that word, that the contempt came out. “No. I gave it to all three. They all think they were the first. Boys are such silly fools.”

"They all think they were the first." they all think it. i don't think any of those three boys were the first - i think she'd lost her virginity well before she started fooling around with them and when I first read that part my first thought was "I think Jaehaerys knows damn well who she lost her virginity to" and I started spiraling from there.

I decided to do a write up of Jaehaerys Being Deeply Weird Towards His Girls and while there's some things I would change - in particular, I think I'd add more to the Alyssa, Viserra, and Gael sections - there's a reason that the Saera section in particular seemed to really spark off a lot of conversation (not to toot my own horn here lmao) and that reason, imo, is that a lot of people read about what happened between Saera and jaehaerys and go "now what in the goddamn hell is THAT about." Saera more than any of Jaehaerys' kids is imo the canary in the coal mine, so to speak - whatever George intended with F&B, I do think he meant for us to look at the way Jaehaerys talks about Saera and go "this guy has some fucking ISSUES." I don't know that he meant for it to go all the way up to "Jaehaerys is molesting his own kids" route but I do fully believe he meant something in that realm of "Jaaehaerys is cruel to a sexually abusive point to his children" the same way that like, Tywin and Cersei sexually abuse Tyrion but don't outright rape him themselves. I think Jaehaerys was always meant to be aman who is remembered fondly but was an absolute monster in his private life, in contrast to both the kings he succeeded (maegor and aenys) and as a point of comparison to our "modern day" patriarchs who have their own hang ups surrounding their daughters in Tywin, Doran, Ned, Robert, Jon, and Hoster.

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E19 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lakan - strategist. Maomao's biological father.

Lihaku - the military officer who took Maomao out of the Rear Palace

Jinshi is thinking about the conversation he had with Maomao about meeting Lakan. He looks so concerned; he can't stop thinking about that look in her eyes. Things are in such an uncertain place between the two of them. The gulf has widened, and threatens to widen further.

Jinshi is hiding so many things from Maomao, he likely thinks he's protecting her, but what he must do to keep those secrets threatens to drive the two further apart. Sharing his secrets would also drive them apart. And the current situation is not tenable. Disaster looms for Jinshi and he knows it.

Gaoshun tries to redirect Jinshi's focus to a ceremony that he's required to perform later that afternoon. Maomao figured out Jinshi has been doing something ceremonial during her time here, a purification ceremony, I think she said.

Lihaku has learned to turn to Maomao to solve mysteries.

Lihaku: We've got a problem on our hands.

Do we? It's funny that he thinks she has any responsibility in this. I mean she will certainly step up to solve this, but she in no way is obligated to.

Something about the Maomao-Lihaku dynamic is really entertaining to me. Maybe it's because their interactions are so transactional. They are each a little disgusted by the other, even if they sort of respect one another. But they can really only connect on their desire to solve a mystery, which Lihaku presents now.

Various seemingly unrelated misfortunes have befallen the palace in the last year. Everything could have been leading up to the theft of some ceremonial items, and the only clue is the presence of a tall court lady (or man).

Maomao: When many coincidences manifest one on top of the other intent emerges in the overlap.

I happen to remember the presence of a suspicious man who was around at the death of Sir Kounen and the poisoning of the court official who oversaw the warehouses. So perhaps we will get some answers about who this man is soon.

I also can't forget that Lakan investigated the warehouse fire and found that ivory pipe that started the explosion. He also was the one who got Gaoshun to look into the poisoning case of the palace official who ate toxic seaweed. Given how astute he is, Lakan is either involved, or has this mystery figured out and is letting things play out for some motive that I can't determine. Also, it seems that Lakan would like Maomao to solve this case. But why? What does he gain from that? Having her involved puts her in danger. Is that what he wants?

Because Maomao is stepping into a real conspiracy now. It's about as dangerous position as she has ever been in this show.

Jinshi shows up. LOL. He's scary when he's jealous, and Lihaku has no trouble reading the situation, so he books it out of there. Maomao on the other hand doesn't bother to try to read into Jinshi's behavior and proceeds as normal.

And it occurs to me now that the storytellers are being a bit meta.

Maomao: When many coincidences manifest one on top of the other intent emerges in the overlap.

Because they gave us this quote from Maomao right after they just got done telling us Jinshi is about to perform a ceremony, and that someone has stolen some ceremonial items. A coincidence? Not likely. The larger conspiracy that Maomao is trying to solve right now, was all for the purpose of getting to those ceremonial items. That's a whole lot of work to do if you aren't setting up something big. Something like trying to murder a prince maybe? And I may be back on my bullshit again, but I don't think so. I don't know who or why or how, but I can feel it in my story-loving soul, someone's aiming for our beloved male lead!

Actually there are any number of people who could be after Jinshi. He's in a terribly vulnerable position. By birth he is in the line of succession to the throne, but due to some deception he was removed. Anyone who discovered his identity and wants him out of the way could be behind this. He's got all of the vulnerabilities of being a prince, but not all of the protections. Or this could have to do with his duties as the palace manager. He presides over cases and hands out judgements, perhaps someone feels he did so unjustly and wants revenge? Or it could be anything, this is a fricking palace intrigue story, after all!

Lakan is an obvious suspect, but I don't think it's him. He maneuvered Maomao to get involved in this. Why would he do that if he were behind it all? It's more likely that he wants her to unravel it. Why not just expose this conspiracy himself? Is he actually trying to help Jinshi? This is such a twisted up tale.

Jinshi: What was the nature of your rendezvous with that office?

That Jinshi sees Lihaku as a romantic rival will never not be funny to me. There is just nothing at all between the two.

Maomao offers to tell Jinshi about what she discussed with Lihaku. I'm so glad she offered! Last time she solved a mystery she didn't share it with Jinshi, and they've been in such a weird place, I really wasn't sure she would want to do this. Is she taking pity on Jinshi because he's acting jealous, or does she want his thoughts on this mystery?

Actually, I think Maomao does her best mystery solving when she works with Jinshi. He is encouraging and supportive, and she thrives with that. Perhaps, this mystery has her really stumped or worried, and so she's relieved to bring it up with Jinshi. And it feels so good to watch these two working through this together! It's like watching a simpler time from and earlier episode.

After presenting the facts to Jinshi, Maomao quiets. Jinshi thinks it's odd that she isn't eager to solve this case. I do too.

Jinshi: You're not excited by this?

Maomao lets out a frustrated sigh, like he's not picking up on something, and gives the following explanation, though it sounds like a begrudging recitation, rather than honest:

Maomao: I am but a humble servant, I fear. I exist only to do as I'm told.

Jinshi gives an almost exasperated response.

And then Jinshi seems to have an "a-ha" moment right after that, and offers her an incentive for taking the case... I'm thinking Maomao is angling to get something she wants out of this. Perhaps Maomao took Suiren's words to heart last episode.

Suiren: You may appear apathetic, but you're keen. You know where you stand, and how to play the game. Suiren: If you view everything in terms of status, then you'll miss opportunities.

It seems Maomao is eager to solve this case, but she's not going to do it for nothing this time. It's an opportunity for her to gain something she wants.

And Jinshi is almost giddy to make an offer to Maomao. He knows she's going to love what he has in mind. Maomao is comically over the top when it comes to her enthusiasm for medicinal ingredients, and she freaks Jinshi out when she climbs up on his desk and laughs maniacally in his face. Gaoshun has to pull her off. Jinshi and Maomao are so delighted with themselves and each other, it's a beautiful moment of harmony, which Gaoshun isn't sure is better than having them at odds.

Serendipity (coincidence or something more?) has landed Maomao in the records archive with exactly the person who can help her solve her mystery. Because this particular court official knows all about the Board of Rites that oversees ceremonies, he used to work on that board. Yet another one of the "coincidences" that Maomao is looking into has a connection to ceremonies. Seriously, that's a lot of foreshadowing, something bad is about to go down at this ceremony, huh?

It seems that someone went to an awful lot of trouble to take out two officials who oversee the ceremonies and stole some of the ceremonial equipment. Plus this official in the archives was demoted when he raised questions about the safety of these ceremonies. "An accident waiting to happen," is how the official described it. What a convenient way to take out an important person and make it seem like a coincidence. Maomao remembers yet another coincidence that involves the three brothers who work at the metalsmith that creates ceremonial items. This has to do with that ceremonial tool that had me worried from a couple episodes back no doubt. The one Lakan made sure to bring up to Jinshi. I don't have the details figured out, but Maomao does, and she's starting to worry now.

No, she's not worried, she's terrified. Someone has had a plan in the works for over a year, to assassinate a high ranking noble Jinshi (she, like me, already knows it's him, even if she won't admit it). And Maomao only just figured it out. She's not sure if she will be able to get there in time to stop it, but damn it she's trying! Girl is about to bust open a huge conspiracy!

Run Maomao! Run! Go save your prince!

Ah shit. Her status means she can't enter. But! Jinshi is in danger, right now! She can't back down.

Maomao: I'm just a servant with no authority to speak of. But if something happens it'll be too late for anything but regret!

Oh brave Maomao! This guard is threating her with his giant cudgel but she's not giving up. And what an image! Little Maomao on the steps standing up to the big armed guard who looms threatening above!

She accuses him of being in league with the saboteur. And that does it. He bashes her in the face! Oh shit! That guard comes down the stairs and I'm pretty sure he's trying to kill her. The other guards think so too, because someone is able to stop him. Maomao meant to provoke him, as a means of creating a commotion, but it's not enough to disrupt the ceremony. And Maomao is pretty messed up from that blow to the head.

Maomao is pushing through by sheer force of will, unconsciousness threatening to take over. She ignores the pain, and the danger, and stands back up because she needs to save someone's life.

Maomao is a goddamn hero, y'all. This persistence in the face of overwhelming odds, in pursuit of a noble purpose; it makes for great characters. And in a love story it's romantic as fuck.

But no matter what she says or does, it's not enough. She doesn't have the status to disrupt this ceremony.

But Lakan does.

Friends. I can't breath. This is peak drama.

Lakan is pretty intense for a moment with the guard, when he says:

Lakan: You have hurt her.

Maomao doesn't turn around, claims she doesn't want to see who it is. But she knows it's Lakan. And she knows his presence here is not a coincidence, as nothing in this episode has been. But there isn't time for that, she needs to move quickly. She is permitted past the guards, but how to stop the ceremony without being executed for it later?

There isn't time to think it through, she sees the disaster is moments from happening and she simply runs and tackles the officiant of the ceremony out of the way, as the giant apparatus comes crashing down.

I am so here for this moment.

Maomao realizes that she made it in time. Realizes her leg is injured. But she is addled from the blow to the head, because as soon as she sees Jinshi she asks for the ox bezoar that he offered. Girl, this guy is going to give you his whole life.

And of course it's Jinshi. It had to be! Maomao looks a wreck, with her face swollen, her nose bleeding, and her leg broken. But she's alive, and because of her brilliant mind, and bravery, so is Jinshi.

Jinshi is in shock. Trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. Perhaps only moments from losing his shit, once he knows which direction to lose it in. He sees the state Maomao is in and he's on the verge of tears. So am I.

Maomao: I don't understand. Why is Master Jinshi here?

I'll allow her this confusion right now because she just got smashed upside the head, but later when she's recovered, she's not allowed to deny who and what Jinshi is any more. It's too fucking much at this point.

Maomao is disoriented, but she's done what she came here to do, and now she can let herself fall unconscious. After all Jinshi is here, he looks awfully sad, but he's capable and kind, he'll take care of her.

Jinshi is so distraught to have her fall unconscious in his arms. He does call her "Maomao," this time, as he begs her to stay with him. That lost little "please" at the end is going to stick with me for a long while.

Every person in this room, is useless in a crisis. There are at least a dozen people standing around doing nothing.

Jinshi leaves with Maomao in his arms. He doesn't acknowledge anyone, including Lakan, who looks rather shocked. Shocked because Maomao got hurt, when he didn't intend it, or shocked because Jinshi responded differently than Lakan expected? Or did he think she died? In any case, one of Lakan's well planned strategies didn't work out how he intended. I don't know if Jinshi is even able to spare a thought as to why Lakan might be here, or what his role in this whole event might have been. To me it seems, Lakan knew what was going on, but that he wasn't behind it. Perhaps his interest in bothering Jinshi was to try to help him? I don't know. I'm sure we will find out more about Lakan's role soon enough.

There are a lot of people that saw Maomao force her way into the building and save Jinshi's life. And a lot of those same people saw Jinshi walk out with her in his arms. And everyone of them showed Jinshi deference as he left. Too bad that Maomao missed it. Will it matter that people saw this, does it mean anything in this setting?

Is there symbolism happening right now? Probably! I also wish I knew what the lyrics to this song were.

Maomao is bleeding and broken, unconscious, but without her actions, it would be Jinshi who is hurt, or more probably dead. A trail of Maomao's blood trails behind as Jinshi leaves with her in his arms.

Jinshi has to be thinking about how Maomao ended up being there just in time to save him. If it truly were just an accident, then there would have been no way for her to know about it, which means the crashing apparatus was planned. That someone tried to kill him. Jinshi has to know that there are people who would like him dead, perhaps people have even tried to come at him before. And for much of this show we have seen Jinshi try to keep Maomao away from the more dangerous parts of his life. Today, what he feared has happened. Maomao was injured, because she got tangled up in the danger that is Jinshi's life. But if she hadn't he would have died.

So what will Jinshi do? Will he push Maomao away to keep her safe, so she doesn't get hurt again like she did today? Or will he let her in now? Tell her his secrets and keep her close? How can he best protect Maomao, by pushing her away or pulling her close?

And what will Maomao do when she wakes? She can't deny who Jinshi is any longer.

Also, will whomever is behind this be discovered? Will they try again?

To start at the beginning: Episode 1

Next episode: Episode 20

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man 152 'early' analysis

Hey look at that I WAS RIGHT

(back on my 150 post)

This whole chapter really does feel like we're in the end game. This isn't something Denji can just walk back on especially after he just starts eating spear (lol) they fucked around and found out. While I do kind of doubt this is actually going to mean Spear is erased from existance- or memory however the chainsaw devil's power really works, its not out of the question.

Looking at it from a meta perspective Spear and Whip are completely disposable as they're both nameless killers who only show up to fight and nothing else. Their death would mean nothing for the story other than Miri having less people pressuring him into being a bastard. Plus spears and whips aren't used in the manga as weapons outside of these hybrids so deleting them really wouldn't change anything. So i'd say its a 60/40 chance as to if denji is going to go through with erasing spear from existence. In retrospect this is a pretty insane chapter for Nayuta cause look at it from her perspective this is basically a villain origin story for her. Her brother who's the only person in the world who actually cares about her as an individual has just gone full murder psycho and told her he doesn't want to be involved with her anymore because he'd rather get off on killing people. Thats fucking INSANE and especially since Nayuta seems to be with the adults during this fight she could very well end up being dragged back into the same hellish system that created Makima.

Nayuta has damn near exclusively been able to live a good life BECAUSE Denji was the one taking care of her. She's a devil and any devil that doesn't work with public safety is killed and the ones that do work with them get locked away underground or get turned into tools. I've said it before but this ending goes to show Denji and Chainsaw Man are one in the same, not that we the readers could have any doubt of that. But everyone in universe seems to be unable to separate the two. Yoshida only wants Denji at the cost of CSM, Makima only wanted CSM at the cost of Denji. After this we might see Nayuta being afraid of the CSM but still caring about Denji.

Im not sure if its intentional or not but Denji's chainsaw eyes seem to be missing for the whole chapter until the end. I would say this is an intentional detail but theres one panel where he has eyes before the climax. So I don't know if this is an error or intentional.

[homestuckreplay]

y'know, somehow despite being into this comic for [REDACTED]— uh a whole month, lol, I've never thought of Dad Egbert being a professional clown before. I had always read into his interest as being purely a hobby, albeit one that he put a lot of time and passion into. but now ? my life's been flipped. (you could even say it's been turned upside down.) (ha.) I won't be able to unthink this now and I don't even want to. headcanon accepted !! I really like your meta analyses. sometimes it's stuff I've thought about and/or seen before, and now get to think about again, and sometimes it's a new angle, and sometimes, like now, it's completely new to me !! this blog is so fun :>

hello!! I'm glad I could offer a new perspective on our shared month long passion :D I feel like I've freed myself from the burden of wanting to be right about stuff and I'm just writing about what would be interesting, even if things go very differently the analysis is still worth doing for its own sake. thank you so much for the message and i hope you keep having fun!

[tonydaddingham]

See I don't remember it being hinted at all that Greasy Johnson was Christ? He was the third baby and his gang rivals Adam's; like it IS a reflection of the war between Heaven and Hell but its a parallel bc both conflicts are ultimately stupid and childish. Plus Gabriel is associated with BABY Jesus. And the box is baby sized. Since this takes place 4 years after S1, Adam, Warlock, and the third baby would be 15 by now.

hi nonnie!!!✨ fuck it let's have some meta/analysis in these last hours that our collective souls inhabit this Good Earth

what i interpreted the other anon to be getting at is exactly as you've put, but possibly one step further. greasy is posed as the antithesis of adam/antichrist, has a gang surrounding him that you could infer are loyal disciples, and is a mirror to adam in that adam on the whole seems to be a well-adjusted and morally-upstanding young boy.

i further think the fact that adam is the antichrist put against greasy being the second coming is a well positioned reflection on the nature vs nurture argument. ultimately adam grew up in a largely loving and supportive environment, and as the literal son of satan, you'd expect his nature, the circumstances of his birth, to rule out every other influence.

ultimately it does for a short time, but adams narrative iirc is that it is reflective of his desire to save the world... he wanted to get rid of things that were Wrong, and naively (he is still an 11-year old boy after all) thought that destroying the world and restarting it would do just that. his friends however reinforce in him that destruction and reparation are not the same thing, and so his upbringing, the nurture, wins.

greasy? we don't know a lot about him, only that he is a bully and represents the opposite of adam and the them, and is possibly (confirmed to be, if you go by that other anon) the third baby in the Botched Swap... ie. the son of the dowlings. aside from the whole allegory that greasy and the johnsonites vs adam and the them are meant to represent the hell vs heaven war as you say, the clue for me is given from the following passage (im sure you know/recall this, anon✨, but im just spitting words now):

so my thoughts are to take this entire passage with a hefty pinch of salt. i reckon that some of it is true (imo, yellow), and some just an idle pondering on what alternatively could have happened to the dowling baby (imo, green and the whole main paragraph). i furthermore like to think that the reference to the breeding of fish is also a clue.

i don't, necessarily, 100% believe that the box contains the literal baby jesus, but i do think it contains something along the lines of directions to it. the fact that it's gabriel, as you said, that is the one who has conveniently lost his memory and is meant to deliver something makes me feel it is definitely a reference to the second coming at the very least.

but how brilliant would it be to tie in the first series/the book into this wider story by harking back to greasy? that not only are we looking at the second coming, but ✨LOL TURNS OUT✨ it was the spare baby from tadfield all along!!! the kid that was kinda left out of s1 but was still deliberately referred to by god!!!

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

i think i finally figured out my problem w the beast!jim thing, i'll put it under the cut bcs i don't know how long this'll be lol

also this isn't meant to be meta or any sort of analysis it's just me thinkin'

so at the end of trollhunters jim is half troll, and it is introduced and held as a choice that cannot be undone, it will be a sacrifice jim has to live with for the rest of his life- we have a whole episode of him coming to terms with that!! it isn't fair, he had an impossible choice and was all but forced to choose, but he made it. and that was the right choice narratively, even though it hurt the character himself. that was the end of trollhunters, and the end of jim's arc in it. it was satisfying, it followed the rules it set, it may have had a tragic element but it was a good ending

and then wizards hits. jim is an important character again (and that's great! nothing wrong with bringing character back lol) and... he doesn't really have much of an arc, from what i remember. (bcs god, that show is a fever dream) he kinda just gets dragged around lol. and also he's got a random shard in his heart from the green knight that's turning him into a full troll?? for some reason?? i literally don't think this was ever really explained? (correct me if i'm wrong pls! i would love for a little logic here lol) and then he's mind controlled by the green knight (still can't figure out his deal lol, why can he mind control he's literally a corpse puppet) and then he gets ✨freed ✨ by claire, and then turns to stone immediately even though the sun isn't up and he wasn't hurt???? and then he's human again. for literally no reason? there goes the '''''''permanent''''' sacrifice of his humanity for literally no discernible reason? other than maybe they wanted human jim for rott?? (not even going into how jim became the protagonist of rott when it really wasn't his fight- let my boy REST😭)

idk it just felt like it undid the narrative significance of the end of trollhunters for legit no reason 🤷🤷

[distant-screaming]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

@cornflowershade thank you for tagging me beloved <33

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself - I'm Dee, she/they <3

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? - OH MAN so bbs was my first thai bl, and I found it through an Instagram reel! I had just finished a show and was kind of bored + also starving for queer content, so I went home and instantly binge watched the whole series. And long story short here I am!

favorite ship(s) - inkpa (the lomls), patpran (they're so skrunklgy), waikorn (they could make each other worse <3)!

favorite character(s) - THAT'S HARD if I had to pick... Ink. Definitely. Then Korn

favorite episode(s) - hmm I binge watched bbs so I don't really remember distinct episodes?

favorite scene(s) - okay actually my favorite scene is one I don't think I've ever properly talked about but it's the end of... ep 10 I believe, where patpran hug up on the rooftop. Firstly, the whole deal associated with the rooftop is already so so good, but just the way Pat and Pran trust each other so much, the way they turn to each other for comfort. I think that scene really embodies what I love about the series, which is that patpran face external factors but their relationship in and of itself is so stable and secure.

one thing you would change about the show if you could - definitely agree with sonia, more inkpa! Also, less of patpran's friends being pricks? I understand that's part of the conflict but man they're just rude sometimes

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? - it's impossible to choose favorite fics because all the bbs writers are amazing and I love everything they write, so any bad buddy fic I've ever bookmarked is a rec!

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? - AHEM OKAY to date I've only posted 2 fics for bbs, which are very different tonally but I love them - breathe you in, keep you close to my heart and zero sum game (you're so pretty)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) - every song is patpran if you try hard enough, but also Talk Too Much by COIN and Love You Like That by Dagny.

idk anything else you want us to know? - I'm so grateful to bad buddy for introducing me to bls as a genre, and I hope we keep upping the bar for fantastic representation and shows!

Tags - @user-soundwin @mutlishipperfangirl @solana-ceae and anyone else who wants to participate! <3

[strifespecibi]

Like domino's pizza? Also what the fuck is cablepool?

so okay. for reference, cable aka nathan summers is this time-traveller who was born many years in the future in a dystopic society. his goal was to hop around and prevent that future from happening. he ended up joining the xmen and yadda yadda, rest is history. domino is his on-again off-again love interest and deadpool is his partner. i'll get to it in a moment

so dominos power is being able to control luck. no, really. she gives her opponents bad luck and in turn gives herself good luck. it is (from the wiki) "…largely participatory - in order for the luck to take effect, domino herself must engage in an action whose chance she can affect. for example, if domino were to stand before a hail of bullets, she would be shot. instead, she must take action; in attempting to avoid the gunfire, she will miraculously bob and weave just right to avoid every single shot." which is SO interesting on its own to pull vriska analysis from. also, one kind of funny note about her design is that her right eye is surrounded by black in the shape of an eyepatch! that eye also glows sometimes. so you see why i think she was the inspiration for vriska. there's also a lot of similarities with her backstory and personality but i'm not a domino scholar and i don't wanna mischaracterize her here so all i can say is if you want to know more about her and how she inspired vriska, check the wiki lmfao

picture of domino for clarity

so now lets wrap around to cablepool, the best example of nicieza yaoi this side of the mississippi. i will be perfectly honest this one isnt even subtext its just canon. they quite literally went to intercourse pennsylvania together. you can watch this amv for examples of what their dynamic is like ive been entranced by it for all of today. also this one because its really funny. regardless. so deadpool was originally created in new mutants vol 1 issue #98 as a mercenary who was hired to take out cable so they spent a lot of their early years trying to kill each other. they are forced to stop avoiding or attempting to kill each other in cable & deadpool vol 1 because of this virus that had infected both of them and thus the only way for them both to survive was to merge their dna structures in an event which i like to call cablepool homoerotic goop cannibalism. the result of this is that cable cannot time travel without taking deadpool with him. following your lover across the multiverse because of fate and to save the world? thats vrisrezi as hell! anyway they cure the virus and they get to stop bodysliding together woohoo. a similar thing happens when cable gets lost in alternate universes and deadpool has to travel through a bunch to save him. then there was everything with cable and providence … so providence was this little paradise island that cable built off of his orbital station called providence that got attacked by aliens and space pirates and deadpool ran in to help only to find oops! cable doesnt actually fully trust him! so cable 'dies' (he doesnt actually die he comes back) along with providence because thats how much he doesnt trust deadpool. which is reminiscent of the jack noir confrontation innit? vriska was so convinced of her own heroism and skill and so afraid of trusting others that she preferred to die than not be at the center of the narrative (fitting as well since deadpool is obviously a very meta character lol). they havent interacted a whole lot beyond that after cable & deadpool ended because the x-editors are evil and hate me and they hate nicieza yaoi and also deadpool is now a Popular Character so they have to tear him away from his roots and make him gay with spiderman instead for some reason. but i get it. get me on a cable & deadpool book i'll be normal (i will not be normal). anyway that book ended in 2008? iirc? which means it was likely On The Mind whilst writing homestuck. and if hussie wasnt into deadpool but WAS into daredevil enough to make a daredevil clone oc i will eat my hat because deadpool And specifically cable & deadpool is like, completely in tune with their writing style. anyway theres my proof that domino is vriska but cablepool is vrisrezi that was most certainly not an excuse to talk about my xmen Hope you all enjoyed it👍

[rata-novus]

‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ��‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎better late than never!

༄₊ ⊹🎃✧˖°. ☾ october/horror 2024 watches ☽ ༄˖°.🍂.ೃ࿔*:･

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

🎃 Senritsu Kaiki File Kowasugi (10/7-x) overall, not what i expected, but not bad. only got thru half the series in spooky month, will finish eventually.

ep1 (10/7): kinda slow, but not boring. the final shot of the woman in the doorway gave me goosebumps.

ep2 (10/10): first third/half SUPER effective for me, esp the whole part where ichikawa's flashlight would turn off at the same point in the room. creepy. but then the last part was genuinely ?????? super intriguing but idk really what happened? the metaphysical/scifi aspects weren't ~scary~ to me but i keep thinking abt the episode so

ep3 (10/10): monster horror isnt my thing so eh, but the revelation at the end that those 2 characters are slowly turning into kappa like its an infection was neat.

ep4 (10/11): favorite so far, loved the spatial/time manipulation. but the scene of them time traveling. lol. lmao even.

ep5 (10/11): really liking how each episode is its own thing but clearly pointing to something bigger connecting everything. real curious abt what kudo "sees" since his coma incident.

ep6 - 10: DNF. didn't grip me compared to other stuff i wanted to watch, will finish at my own pace eventually.

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🎃 milk and serial (10/12) liked. flew by, didn't feel like an hour+. mc was super creepy & unhinged. acting felt real & natural. liked the twists. i think naomi & link finding milk's box w/ address to his torture shack was by his design. sequel maybe?

🎃 the void (10/12) liked. FANTASTIC practical effects, wowzers. kinda okay story, more aesthetics than plot but w/e. BIG silent hill vibes though a cult facilitating a "god" to be born, resurrection/reincarnation, physical manifestations of guilt and grief, etc. but like.... spacey/cosmic horror. v different from most mid-2010s or even modern day horror and i appreciate that.

🎃 the empty man (10/13) idk. intriguing but i really dont get the whole part about the people committing suicide. i feel like this is one of those movies i need to deep dive ppls meta analysis to really ~get it~. bc i don't really. honestly my favorite part was the very beginning w the freaky skeleton. what is he transmitting............

🎃 noroi: the curse (10/13) eh. kinda slow. unclear on certain plot points: what was the significance of kana being psychic and drawing that symbol/face/mask? what's up with the boy - another medium? hori was v distracting and borderline exploitative. liked how the seemingly disjointed segments started to connect together, but unfortunately didnt go all the way (see ? above) and too much unresolved. seen better japanese horror and found footage horror tbh sorry

🎃 late night with the devil (10/14) first off -1000000 for using genAI fuck that. second, god the beginning was as boring & cringey as a real late night talk show. which like, yeah ofc but also. i dont want to watch that so no ty. but lilly's appearance at the end was v cool, split head, coursing electrical energy. really liked that a lot. overall better than i thought it was gonna be, but just to the side of okay.

🎃 lake mungo (10/19) quite sad. being haunted by your future death reminds me of nell from haunting of hill house. alice meeting with the psychic and seeing from the perspective of her ghost in the future, paralleled with her mother in the future doing the same and not sensing alice anymore.... big sad. :( some of the spooky stuff did get to me. the recording of alice seeing her future dead body and the reveal that the neighbor was lurking in the house in one of the recordings especially. wtf grossssssss. overall more sad than scary, but i liked it. more effective for me than i thought it would be after reading reddit posts hating it. i feel like i need to be a defender of it now lmao

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🎃 midnight mass overall: forgive me father for i have sinned 🫦 -- dunno if it unseats hill house as my favorite flanagan show but damn it was fantastic.

ep1 (10/19): interesting. if i didnt already know it was abt vampires id be scratching my head rn. the final shot of the cats on the beach was laughable, and thats coming from a sensitive bitch who cant stand animal deaths in horor & frequently uses doesthedogdie lmao ....... rahul kohli can absolutely get it tho

ep2 (10/20): ok first off that whole bit about "pregnant people" was weird af and completely unnecessary. coulda just normalized inclusive language but instead we gotta draw attention to "umm actually ☝️🤓 its usually pregnant women". w/e. -- i think the cats were killed as sustenance (neck wounds), but idk abt the dog being poisoned? the vamp(s) just trying to get rid of the animals on the island so they dont act odd/pick up on the vamps? or smth specifically targeting that one guy, by the nun lady? hmm. -- was the (i presume) vamp stalking the pregnant lady from her house to the clinic bc it could sense her breakthru bleeding??? uew. -- the mimic of the voice near the end was a banger omg so creepy, and i love the reflective eyes v v v good. -- re leeza walking, something in the wine???

ep3 (10/20): is monsignor pruitt this new father paul????? fountain of youth ayoooo. but is he the vampire? nah hes the renfield aint he. what was with the trunk of dirt? ohhh ancestral soil ofc -- theory: the sheriff is gonna be the one to cotton on to smth being wrong bc he doesnt go to the church/drink the wine -- the scene between leeza & joe was so powerful, wow..... -- was father paul poisoned like the dog? kinda bummed if hes dead for good i thought for sure he was gonna be one of the (the only?) antagonists nvm lol, immortal? -- also comparing a vampire to an angel, esp in this context, is sick as hell, love that -- honestly getting big salems lot vibes which i do NOT hate at all tbh, also a bit of exorcist thrown in with the middle east and ruins and smth ~evil~ there

ep4 (10/21): ohhh is monsignor turning into a vampire? sun sensitivity.... -- noooo poor joe :( -- what is up with erin's "miscarriage"/never having been pregnant and her blood reacting to the sun when afair she never drank the wine? -- and riley too damn........

ep5 (10/21): oh hey well guess thats where the title comes from lol -- not, like, super duper crazy with the loooooong chunks of monologue tbh. sometimes it hits like with riley & monsignors back and forth over guilt but other times ehhhh -- speaking of, anyone else down bad for the priest or just me? ok nvm -- so far it seems the og vamp only ate from the stray cats, bowl (bill) and riley so far (maybe the mayor & wife but unclear), and it seems like its been a couple weeks since it arrived so the hunger must not be THAT insatiable, for like 99% of the town population to remain (relatively) unharmed? like, if everyone or even just MOST of them are turned, who they gonna eat? -- on the one hand riley being greeted in death by the uninjured form of the girl he killed in a car crash is beautiful. oh the other hand subjecting the love of your life to watching you burn to fucking death and now shes gonna row back to land with ur smoldering corpse is like. supremely fucked up riley. like i get that erin has to ~see to believe~ but what the hell man. the credits rolling and listening to her screams..... D:

ep6 (10/31): so it's not just the consumption of a vampires blood that makes one a vampire, but death as a catalyst for resurrection. holy shit i love that, flanagan you mad man. -- oh shiiiiit mildred shooting former lover priest in the head damn bitch okay -- bev you pussy ass bitch wont even drink the poison smh my head

ep7 (10/31): "it never felt like a sin, you never felt like a sin and our daughter was never a sin" aoughhhh this got me cryin -- was really rooting for the sheriff to make it out alive :( -- never been religious and have 0 religious trauma but god damn this show got me good, weeping all thru the end

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🎃 rosemary's baby (10/22) regrettably by roman polanski, but 🏴‍☠️ so eh. overall i really liked it. i had seen bits and pieces and i feel this is one of those medias that you kind of know through osmosis, but it was still an enjoyable watch, if not disturbing at times. tho minnis voice and mannerisms reminds me of vic's nana from very important people lmaoooo i cant unsee/hear it

🎃 event horizon (10/22) so far INCREDIBLE visuals, giving big hellraiser vibes with the disfigured/cut up bodies & the elaborate incomprehensible yet decorative engine brings to mind a mix of the lament configuration and biblically accurate angels. incredible. -- why only trauma hallucinations from a few of the crew? the rest were just peachy keen? not a smidge of trauma? bummer tbh -- hot damn the gore visuals are blink and u miss it but sick as hell -- but what happened with justin? rescue crew said he was alive but like.... mentally???? -- pacing felt just a titch off, like shtf so close to the end i feel like the descent could have been smoother, but otherwise i really loved this one

🎃 the exorcist (book) (10/1 - 10/23) liked WAY more than i thought i would. gonna be 4 stars for reference. 2 things i disliked: chris' internal monologues were annoying and shes more than a bit of a yuppie (the point i guess), AND the fact that psychokinesis is just a FACT in this world (ie possession can't be concluded by moving objects / mind reading bc those are observable in clinical settings in ppl with mental issues) bothered me so much!!! like..... if a DEMON can read your mind, move objects, as established w regan, you can't just chalk it up to NO WAY being possession. wtf???? anyway, everything else was great. really liked the reveals (regan's paint found at the church desecration, regan speaking backwards & mentioning merrin before he's even seen on page). the foreshadowing of karras' demise. very disturbing scenes iykyk, and even the detective parts were fun in the end. dunno if i'll read the sequel (legion) but i've heard the show is v good? 👀

🎃 hell house llc (10/25) 1 (10/25): love, it's a classic at this point, most of the scares dont get to me but surprisingly a few still do, solid ending 2 (10/25): kind of worse acting than the first but still liked, enjoy where the overarching plot is going re drawing people to the house 3 (10/25): definitely upped the production value, the scene of the actress in the basement with the clown is top tier but otherwise it was okay. first is still the best tbh, feels like they explained too much and im more of a fan of ambiguity. since the first 3 films take place in the same building, there's a weird feeling of familiarity & coziness lmao, i could see this series being a comfort rewatch fr origins (10/26): margot was definitely at the fair where tully/cult was kidnapping ppl for the abaddon hotel sacrifices, huh. -- did NO ONE think to check rebecca's cam w/ the body on the bed???? like they've seen other proof of the supernatural but cmon -- ohh that whole scene of rebecca screensharing w her boss and the pictures leading right up to her bedroom door grossssssss bleghhhh i love it -- overall liked this one a lot. still confused abt some stuff (where was the dad's body? why was patrick's arm better? his place in the cult, are the souls (patricks?) bound to the clown costumes etc), but super effective horror for me. sometimes i dont need all the qs answered u know?

🎃 the outwaters (10/26) ppl on reddit said they hated this as much as skinamarink & both are deathly boring but i LOVED skinamarink so lets gooooo -- 38 minutes in. is like...... no one going to aknowledge these sounds???? -- i get the bugs being creepy but are these donkeys supposed to be ominous? bc they just look like sweet cute babies 2 me -- these are the WORST flashlights in the entire world my GOD. -- suddenly, screaming flesh snakes. sure why not -- ooohh space time fuckery? is robbie the axe man? -- i literally cannot see what's happen 90% of the time, its like trying to watch a movie through a pinprick. like near the end he could have been pointing a flashlight at a bbq beef brisket for all i could tell. certainly a choice meant to invoke the claustrophobia and isolation and confusion of the pov, but missed the mark. by a lot. -- theres some neat ideas in here (time travel/time loop where robbie is the one killed and also the killer, with cosmic horror to boot), if i could see anything. loved skinamarink, super effective for me and though it was grainy at least you could SEE, this was. eh. i will say the sound design was great. would have loved to see literally any part of the entity near the end that's making it! the end itself was actually good imo, grotesque but better than seeing a 90% black screen tbh. potential.

🎃 lovely, dark, and deep (10/29) very interesting visuals, kinda cosmic horror in the woods. reminiscent of the "stairs in the woods" and "search and rescue" nosleep stories. also big PT vibes, especially in the scenes in the house, very cyclical/loop in nature but different traumatic events each go thru. love a horror movie that doesnt hold your and and leaves the interpretation up to the viewer. backrooms-esque liminal space? purgatory? mc processing her grief and trauma? dream sequence? hell? are the woods just real fucked up in this natl park? yes. (unfortunately?) it was kinda explained at the end, but i still really liked it. i dunno now the mc could keep working as a ranger, knowing that they just.... let this shit happen. and to perpetuate it....... i do wonder abt the ranger in the beginning, making the choice to get taken. what was his story?

🎃 a house at the bottom of a lake (10/29 - 10/31) 4.5 stars. idk what exactly happened, but i really loved it. great atmosphere (dark, under water, claustrophobic - frankly do not understand people who say this isnt horror lmao), easy to read in a day, perfect for halloween (when I read it). i interpret the ending as james and amelia still being under the obsession of the house, possibly still underwater. like the past 12-or-so days was a "test" of some sort. what finding the house in the real world means, i dont know, but i'm all for horror not holding my hand and it just being about ~the vibes~ which this one nailed for me. the scenes where the flashlights go off? and then house lights turn on? chilled. incredible what you can enjoy when u dont have a hater yappin in ur ear that it sucks <3 

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[ * = re ]

(series) • alien (alien*, aliens*, alien 3*, resurrection*, prometheus, covenant, romulus) • hell house llc (1*, 2, 3, origins) • midnight mass

(films) • nightmare on elm street • the thing* • the outwaters • noroi • the void • event horizon • rosemary's baby • lovely, dark, and deep

(youtube) • backrooms (kane pixels)* • gemini home entertainment*

(books) • the exorcist • uzumaki*

(next year, or b4 next halloween) • smile 2 • the substance • in a violent nature • horror in the high desert • leaving dc

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Tumblr is a mess, so I can't find the post that inspired me to write this analysis. It was basically just a post filled with screenshots but now I have to take them myself which is too much effort lol.

Nevermind, here it is because I'm rotting in vegaspete hell and literally dreamt about these two the other night which concerns me a little bit...

VegasPete - a weird meta with chaotic thoughts

So I'm gonna split this is in half but it's about the very dramatic last scene before the credits. I'm talking about the scene Vegas gets shot which left me in pieces and these two really can't get enough of their dramatic act. Like BibleBuild are too good at this, they make me cry each time...

But nevermind. What I'm gonna talk about are the color concept in this scene - because we all know colors say a lot more than we might think - and then it's gonna be some meta about the dialogue between them.

Color theory and religion

We see Vegas more or less stumbling his way alongside the pool, the gun in his hands. He's obviously a broken man and the scenery around him mirrors all of that. It's mainly blue due to the pool though there is a small part of red in the background. His face is mostly just seen halfway because apart from all this blue lights, it's very dark. Not just his bodylanguage shows it all, the whole scenery screams sadness, grief, depression and isolation. The perfect spot to kill oneself.

Many have already pointed out how closely connected VegasPete and religious artefacts are in this show and I would say the pool, which is only seen two times this entire scene, represents holy water. It is deep blue, it's very shiny, very calm and seems to hold some positivity. Vegas wants to kill himself next to holy water that may wash over his dead body or will never reach him at all. It's really symbolic if you think of it. The pool is right there, it could "save" him from hell but he thinks he doesn't deserve any of it and should just die and go to hell. Still, the chance to be redeemed in front of God is right there but he doesn't take it. He doesn't have any self-esteem left, he doesn't deserve any of it in his eyes.

It goes so far, he holds the gun to his head until Pete pops up last minute. Pete originally wore a white shirt that reflects the blue light of the pool so much, he's more or less glowing, really. He saves Vegas and Vegas, who felt like nobody cares how he feels after his father died, who was saved by his loved one, lets out a scream of frustration. More so, the blue light is now a lot more red on him. It is love in a way and it's a short second of relief. But then again, the lights around him turn darker and more blue until he hides in the darkness again. Vegas is really at his lowest point and of course it affects Pete as well. The colors of his shots are not any different.

Then when Vegas is about to break down, Pete hugs him from behind. He holds him tightly. He is still glowing and this whole scene weights so much heavier than every other before. I can't really name what it is but each word and guesture shows the importance of the characters for each other. The way Pete keeps holding Vegas while shining that much, he looks like an angel holding a lost soul. It's breath-taking and kinda beautiful if you ask me. Those things make this scene so pure. They mean everything they say with words and their bodies and that kind of devotion is incredible.

Vegas still rejects Pete and gets up again, shoulders falling, head hanging, arms protecting. He is still broken. But Pete being there still makes a difference and Vegas can't deny Pete is the only person he wanted there, the person he wished would be there when he was about to shoot himself. Vegas is in a reddish light now but it's still gloomy around him. It's a technique to draw a line between them. Vegas got up and rejected Pete - red light because of love and war. Pete stays on the ground - blue light because he got rejected. And then it's the first time we see the pool. It's when Pete begs Vegas to stay. An angel that held a lost soul but said soul is now vanishing but the angel is still an angel trying to help the lost soul next to the holy water. I know, complicated and I'll try to explain what I mean. You see, Pete really wants Vegas to hear him out, he stays on his knees, begging. The holy water aka pool is still there and like I said before, Vegas kept a certain distance to it. We never even saw the pool before but now we do which means Pete, who looks like an angel, is Vegas' chance to redeem himself. He is Vegas' holy water. Guys, I freaked out when I saw this.

Pete continues to stay blue but awakens something in Vegas when he gets angry. Vegas starts to listen, is concerned and his red light shines on Pete's face the moment he starts turning around. It's love between them. But love has the same color as blood. Vegas gets shot and the love is turned into war. Pete aggressively shoots that guy, completely blue, screaming all over the place, eyes wide. He is shocked. He had his Vegas back and now that's taken from him again. So yes, he is blue.

And then we get this point of view with Vegas lying next to the pool, nearly touching it and Pete above him with blood on his back that freaking looks like wings. Like this shot gives me Romeo and Juliet vibes, truly. It felt as religious as this one. Pete is a fallen angel, covered in blood because his love "died". The suit covered all that blood from before because he put on a mask whenever he wore his uniform. But now he unleashes his true self which is as destructive as Vegas'. In the end, Vegas never fell into the holy water and Pete lost his wings so many years ago. This image mirrors all these two characters are about, how much their past marked them. Vegas never felt like he was enough because he tried to reach the ideal his father always demanded. And Pete got beaten even when he won and was left unnoticed until he wasn't himself any more. So this situation here shows all of that coming back to them. It's closure.

Dialogue and giving up

Okay, i have to calm down, I got all worked up for the other part.

The scene starts truly heartbreaking because Vegas is stuck in his head. He repeats the same sentences and Pete keeps assuring him he's there which shows the furstration and despair they feel. Vegas feels left alone now. His father is dead, got killed and even though he hated him, Gun gave him a moment to shine. But it was all for nothing. Getting the approval of his father was not what fulfilled him and now that Gun is dead, Vegas' whole word crumbles.

"I got nothing left."

Pete knows the pain Vegas is in but he has to remind Vegas there's no nothing when he is "right here". Vegas is not alone but he seems to not hear any of Pete's words. He knows Pete is there, yes but he doesn't appreciate it. He falls on his knees, teary voice breaking, wondering why he is even worth it.

But he hides his face when he asks. He can't hide his voice but he can hide his feelings. He looks away because he wants Pete there, he doesn't want to send Pete away. His words are not true thus he turns away and his face is not visible. The way his voice breaks is Pete's sign that he was right to come looking for Vegas, that Vegas needs him and is only angry and sad and overwhelmed.

"Would you stop saying that you got nothing left?"

Vegas' despair is frustrating Pete because he is not appreciated and pushed away when he clearly wants to be there for Vegas. They both don't have to suffer on their own any longer, so Pete tries to get Vegas out of his head into the real world where Pete is there and won't leave. Vegas wanted to shoot himself just moments ago when he was all by himself, there's the danger of him trying again once he is left alone and Pete just wants to save him from that hole.

"Don't turn you back on me like this. Because...because I'm hungry."

That was the moment I teared up because it's so obviously about something else than food. Don't know if I even need to explain what it's about but it was the line that made me understand how deep the dom/sub desires and needs between them were. Pete craves Vegas, his "food". Vegas is not looking at him, Vegas is evading him because it hurts to see he makes Pete suffer because he himself suffers.

But it's not just about love and how desperatly Pete wants to be appreciated and how much he misses Vegas. No, Pete likes being taken care of and he knows Vegas likes to take care of him. He submittes to Vegas in such an open way like he never did before. Before, he was forced but he chooses to indetify as Vegas' pet and the question here is, how deep does that need go? Is he just saying that because he wants Vegas to stop saying nobody cares or does he really see himself as Vegas' pet? I'd say it's a bit of both. Pete wants to be appreciated, he needs the recognition only Vegas can give him and the only way he will feel good is when Vegas looks at him, sees him and takes care of him. He is hungry for attention and love and he tries to remind Vegas of him, tries to remind Vegas of his existence. Pete won't give up. So, he gets angry when Vegas says "Can somebody else take you to eat" because it's a rejection. Vegas rejects Pete's offer to go with him and be with him and escape it all. The pain is too much, Vegas always isolates himself when angry and forgets other people. He still pushes Pete away though he didn't forget him, not like before but I don't know if that's comforting to know...

"And why the heck did you tell me that you wanted to be with me?"

When Pete starts to yell, something changes within Vegas. He recognizes Pete. Pete has feelings and those are hurt because Vegas is doing the same mistake. He sees that and stops with his act of isolation.

"I'm your pet, aren't I? And I'm hungry now. And you walked out. So I had to come find my owner."

Pete is going all out to be heard and right here, Vegas listens. Pete reminds him of all the feelings they shared when they were alone, reminds him of what Vegas holds as memory so deerly. He is truly devastated because Vegas just left the room without him as if he doesn't exist. Not being seen by everbody else is fine but not being seen by Vegas hurts the most.

This is just really interesting to see because we never saw Pete beg Vegas. We never saw him get on his knees and giving up any control or pride. It's too raw and thankfully Vegas snaps out of it, even turns around when Pete asks him to. This whole dialogue is a rollercoaster because the voices change from teary to disappointed to yelling to soothing and I just need to lie down for a bit.

"Vegas. Vegas. Could you please turn around to see me?"

[purble-turble]

So I've got some thoughts about DKR and TT if you'll indulge me for a moment, Purbs. Not plot stuff but like, Meta thoughts.

I've always found it a little odd about myself why while the time travel Au is highkey one of my favorite lmk AUs in the Fandom, and I absolutely ADORE TTRed, I could never really get into DKR other than as the villain of TTRed's story. But i've been in a lord of the rings mood lately and I think i figured it out

so everyone knows that speech Samwise Gamgee gives in Two Towers, yeah? the importance of still keeping hope alive even in the most dire of circumstances because a new day WILL come eventually. the folk in those stories had plenty of chances of turning back but they didn't because they believed that there was enough good in this world to be worth fighting for, and all that.

And keeping hope for the sun to rise even when lost in the darkest of nights is kind of TTRed's whole thing.

Whereas there's very little HOPE in the DKR universe without TTRed there swearing to change the course of fate, which is kind of the point, yes, but the fact that the only permanent solution that's not a full stop bad-end is DKR dying since nothing else will stop him for good as the Calabash storyline proves. and the only way for that to be narratively satisfying is for MK to be the one to kill him, putting more pain and trauma on someone who's already suffered far too much at DKR's hands. leaving that finale while on some level cathartic for the end of a nightmare, still a phyrric victory at best.

i'm not sure if i have a point to all of this so i'm just gonna go reread Test of Time and cry about that one terry pratchett quote and think about the poor traumatized muffin (and btw thats the cutest pet name for TTRed poor dear) "Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain"

Oh my gosh Anon, yes, thank you for this, you absolutely hit the nail on the head here with this analysis!

Demon King Red is about a person losing himself into madness because he doesn't understand what it means to love, and when he's forced to choose between two things he loves he tries to force them both together and it ends up destroying all of them. It's a story of devastation and ruin and nobody comes out of it better than they went in. Meanwhile, Time Travel Red Son's story is about seeing that horror and the cruelty and selfishness and deciding that he will not let it be his own fate, and in doing so he learns what love truly is. It's not something you have or take, it's something you give and receive, and it cannot be forced. And while he doesn't exactly get out of it unscathed either, he's still always working to be a better person and that intent is the most important thing about him and his story.

TT Red is definitely the hope of morning to DKR's black, somber night. So it's completely understandable that you weren't so interested in DKR's story without TT Red there to give it that spark of hope. I definitely agree that a story with only a bleak outcome possible isn't quite as interesting. It's fun to make characters evil and have them suffer, but when it comes to having a full narrative, the lack of hope certainly makes it less appealing. Which is why the traumatized muffin's story is the one I chose to tell in full via a fleshed out fanfic (and yes I agree, that's the best nickname for him lol) and not to spoil anything for that fic, but you're definitely right about the only good ending is going to end up in more trauma for MK (and you're even more right that the story demands it to be MK who kills DKR ultimately) And that ending is only possible because of TT Red's presence.

Also I'm super mega flattered that Samwise Gamgee, the goodest boy of all, reminded you in any way of my story and my traumatized muffin. And that Terry Pratchett quote, it’s one of my favorite quotes by my favorite author to boot! You're gonna make me blush bringing these amazing things up in reference to my silly lego AU lol 🥰

[littlepurinsesu]

In Defence of Madoka Kaname

Madoka Kaname is my favourite anime character, and she’s right up there on my list of favourite fictional characters of all time. And for everything that this magical girl embodies and all the lessons that her story teaches, it’s really quite saddening to constantly see complaints from Puella Magi Madoka Magica fans who seem to have a problem with the series’ protagonist.

Madoka is many things, but she is definitely not “useless”, “annoying”, “weak”, “always crying”, or whatever other description people have come up with. Actually, Madoka is one of the strongest and most powerful magical girls I have ever seen in any magical girl anime (and I’ve watched a lot of magical girl anime).

This magical girl anime’s protagonist doesn’t become a magical girl (in this timeline, at least) until the very last episode. But even before she makes the contract, she is already fighting for her world and her loved ones. As a powerless human schoolgirl, Madoka willingly puts herself in danger in order to learn and observe with her own eyes what it means to be a magical girl and fight witches. And even after the traumatic experience of witnessing the death of her mentor figure, Madoka is still ready to risk her life to accompany her friend in her witch battles. She is prepared to walk into labyrinth after labyrinth of deadly witches that could destroy her at any moment just to support her friend and be at her side. Not only does that require an unfathomable amount of courage, but it also denotes absolute trust. Madoka is willing to endanger herself if it means she can be there for her friend and maybe offer what little help she can as a completely powerless companion. She has faith that her friend will protect her, and she will do everything she can in her power to protect her friend in her own way, too.

The powerless Madoka takes the initiative to stop a mass suicide, personally steps in between two conflicting magical girls to prevent an unnecessary confrontation, and later endangers herself once more by putting all her trust in this seemingly destructive magical girl in order to attempt to bring her friend back again. Madoka is doing all of these things without any magical powers--she is fighting these small battles without even becoming a magical girl. These battles seem trivial in an epic fantasy anime with witch fights and combat between magical girls, but Madoka is already putting herself out there on all sorts of battlefields with the sheer power of her bravery, determination, and righteousness alone. Please, give her a little credit.

As for Madoka “always crying”? I’d like to take this chance to ask a simple question: Would you cry if you were forced to witness friends and loved ones suffer, despair, and die? And even if the answer for you is no, could you really blame a fourteen-year-old girl for crying in such situations?

Madoka spends eleven episodes learning about the world of magical girls, witches, and Incubators. She cries, she suffers, she grieves. And in the end, she takes all of that new knowledge she has acquired, comes to her own answer, and does something. Madoka may have initially been on the passive side, but all of that was not without a purpose. She had a vision and an understanding of what is right, and she eventually stands up for it, takes action, and makes it a reality. Kyubey tells her that all magical girls will fall into despair? Well, Madoka is going to take it upon herself to bring hope--no, become the hope--to all magical girls and save them from having their wishes ending in despair. And if the price is to cease to exist, be wiped from every living person’s memory, never see her loved ones again, live an eternity of solitude to fight a lonely battle, and become an abstract concept, then so be it.

Essentially, what Madoka does is just as heroic as any sword-wielding superhero who rescues humanity from some alien supervillain who threatens to take over the world. She doesn’t even have to point her weapon at the villains in order to bring about revolution, save countless people, and restore hope. You don’t have to be “badass” in order to be truly badass. You can have pink hair, wear a frilly dress, flaunt big ribbons, wield a rose-adorned weapon, and embody every trait associated with “stereotypical girlishness” that female warrior characters try to avoid, but still prove to be just as, if not even more, “badass”. Madoka accomplishes all of this with the incredible power of her hope and her ability to believe in that hope. She has hope in the world, she has hope in all magical girls, and she has hope in herself, because she is hope.

Madoka Kaname inspires me to be a better person, to support my loved ones, and to take action in order to stand up for what I believe is right and protect what I believe to be important to me. And most importantly, she reminds me to always have hope, spread hope, and believe in hope.

You may not feel the same way as I do or even like this character, and that is absolutely fine! But please, let’s stop hating on Madoka in favour of the other girls and acknowledge the amazing things she has done and represents. Madoka Kaname may not be your goddess, but she didn’t become a goddess without a justifiable reason.

[burnedbyshoto]

hawks_littledove.mp3

— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.

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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks

word count: 5,018

a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.

kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist

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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.

That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.

It started as a mild obsession.

You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.

The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.

⇒ grey fullbuster x reader

The obsession grew worse.

So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.

Hawks Fierce Wings

It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.

It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.

Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.

The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.

“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.

The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.

Oh my god?!

It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.

Oh, motherfucking shit.

Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos. 

Each one was different.

Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob. 

You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.

The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.

And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.

It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.

You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created. 

There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.

It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all. 

But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.

The very first video was of the following:

Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.

After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.

There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.

You had to take a break five times during that audio.

Eventually, you do end up catching up.

Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.

Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.

A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!

You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.

Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.

i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri

He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.

You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.

But, oh?

Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.

Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.

listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦

You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.

Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:

Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything

A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands. 

Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties

And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.

.

..

.

Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.

At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part. 

Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.

But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed. 

To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.

Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.

You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.

But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week. 

The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.

Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.

Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.

Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?

Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?

Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio

Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’

Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out

He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.

You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.

And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.

Hawks: do u have earbuds?

Me: Yes?

Hawks: good put them on n pick up

The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.

Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.

Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit

[Accept]

You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.

“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.

“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head. 

“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”

“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”

“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”

“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”

“But, you picked up my call?”

“You said, or else!”

“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”

Your jaw drops.

It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.

“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”

“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”

“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”

“O-Oh my god…”

“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”

Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end. 

“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.

You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”

“Louder.”

“I’d be so lucky.”

“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”

“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.

“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”

You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.

“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”

“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.

Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.

“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.

“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”

Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.

“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”

“That’s not true!”

“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”

You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.

“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”

The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.

“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught. 

“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”

“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”

“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”

“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.

“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.

You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.

“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”

Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks. 

“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum. 

“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”

“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core. 

“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.

“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”

“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”

“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.

Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air. 

“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”

“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”

Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.

When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.

Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime  call me 03-9183-2495 ;)

[arcane-temp-fandomblog]

Arcane Details / Viktor & Heimerdinger & Jayce : Legacy - Exercise in Poetic Irony of Dialogue

Think of the dialogue in terms of logic and set-up/pay-off.

Compare start and end of his entry dialogue cue.

Did the things really not change? Imo. they did change drastically for at least one of them.

Bahaha, for like one more scene with you Viktor, one more scene, then we'll see...

Wasn't that secure, what irony.

Moving along:

This one should be pretty evident since at episode 6 we watched several children in the undercity die or be changed for life solely because where they were born, mainly Jinx and Vi.

So my bet is a well functioning for all it's subjects Piltover. He is one of the founder, lol.

But the true funny part is Jayce sees more faults with Piltover than Viktor at this point, thou that's a great characterisation detail about them because Viktor is literally dying from living conditions Piltover's system created and could have fixed.

I don't think he's talking about Hextech, he's talking about tangible problems in Piltover. And the Hexcore cure not directly - yk the thing that Heimedinger said will destroy nations. Well imo. the prophecy starts coming to life right about that scene. lol

Going back - So what is Viktor's idea of legacy - imo. it's creating lasting change for living conditions for people in the undercity.

What's the idea of Viktor's tangible contribution to Piltover as Heimerdinger sees it. Does he even remember what kind of contributions Viktor gave to Piltover?

Well he'll surely deny that.

Welp, nope he didn't. He deflected it kind of.

I could be charitable and say he tried to be inspirational in ancient immortal kind of way, personally I'm not that charitable. Seeing that when possibility to avert 'burn the fastest' appears the same day - he's not very enthusiastic about it. Quite the opposite.

I'm just going to say it's good to look at Heimedinger's dialogue all through act2 - he sees Hextech as mostly or only Jayce's project. As a call-back to what started whole of this shitshow is the council not wanting to close the hexgates.

Because I don't think at that point in the story he would sacrifice his life's work for anyone. He much rather make other people sacrifice their lives, just in case, to keep Piltover the city of Enlightenment on going. We'll see how it turns out after his trip to the undercity.

The legacy scene is mirrored at the end of act 3 - same place, "same time" of day just with Viktor and Jayce. And boy, is it more coherent in resolution. Not perfect but still.

More: Arcane meta analysis posts by me