#This took me over two hours or more off and on otl

[alicesoneandonly]

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you happy, I promise.” 

The words continued to echo in his mind, bringing with them memories from his time before arriving in the Hive. He remembered saying similar words to Alice time and time again, only to be met with resistance or self deprecation. She insisted that he could do much better than her, that his words were empty and that she could never understand him. He then ended up switching gears and saying that, as long as she was happy that he could, and would be happy too.

Both statements proved to be false.

“You cannot make her happy.”

Nightmare’s words echoed in his mind this time, carrying with them a truth that he had known but didn’t accept until recently. He knew that who he truly was would force her to go back home, or cause her to remember. He knew that, as long as she still carried Sunday Afternoons in her heart that she would never find happiness. He knew that, if he stayed by her or had her by his side, she would never settle and become a part of Wonderland. Alice would still cling to her world, and with it continue to carry a guilt that was never hers to bear and that was like poison.

As long as Peter existed and remained near, she could never be happy.

Likewise, if she were not happy, then he would not be happy, either. The knowledge that his being could bring and cause her much pain was more than he could bear some days. If he stayed with her, he would only continue to hurt her along with himself. The only way she could truly be happy was in the arms of another, and that too brought him pain. 

To stay with or pursue her would bring him pain.

To see her leave and be with another would bring him pain.

To fully accept all of these facts, along with the realization that he needed to be forgotten so she could thrive and be happy brought him pain, though it was a far worse one than the other two combined.

No matter what he did, he would be hurting. No matter what path he chose, he would not be happy.

Yet...if he chose the most painful path, he knew that Alice still had a chance to be happy. If he faded into the background and disappeared completely from her life, then she could truly be happy.

To sacrifice his own happiness so that she may have hers...was that truly the end result of all of this? After all those times watching over her to make sure she was content...after all those times of wishing that he could do something to ease her pain and sorrow...after all those times where he wished and wished and wanted to take it all away...to be at her side and give her a happiness that could match the love she had shown him...was it all for nothing? 

The thought that all of his effort was in vain only magnified the pain he felt, and it took everything within him to keep his vision from blurring worse than it already was. Everything he did so far; everything he strived for; all of it was for what? To be forgotten? To have whatever positive emotions she gave him be ripped away? 

“What a thankless role.”

Peter wrapped his arms around himself, his thoughts continuing to eat away at him as wound after wound began to open up in full. He had been in this place many times over the past few months, if not years. Each time he ended up in this place the pain had gotten worse, and each time he wondered when it would all end. If he had known that this would happen, he would not have peered into that time on a whim. He would have focused on what he should have been doing and would have not been in this place.

If this was the price he had to pay for being shown love, then he thought it was better not to have been shown anything at all. If this was supposed to be happiness, then he did not want it.

“Your heart cries because you refuse to let go of something unobtainable.”

Once again Ian’s words echoed in his mind, stopping the wave of negative feelings. He knew what Ian was saying was true, but Peter could not stop. He could not stop going after Alice, because for so long she had been his world. She had been the only one to have cherished him. She was the only one who had shown him love and what it meant to be happy. She was his everything; she was his first love. He could not let her go.

However...the more he held onto her, the more his pain only seemed to grow. He knew deep down that Alice and him could never be together. He knew that such a union would make one or both unhappy; that it would bring them pain. He knew, yet he kept hurting himself continuously. Even now that he was in Hive City, far away from Wonderland and from her, he kept hurting himself. 

Here in the city he was free; he was free from the role that game him meaning, and he had the freedom to move on. Ian told him as much, and as nice as it sounded, he knew he could not let go of what he knew. He could not forget, for his role and Alice made him who he was. Letting go was not something he could do, both because he did not know how and that he did not want to. To him letting go meant forgetting, and that was simply unacceptable.

How could he let go? How could he move on?

How could he be happy?

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you happy, I promise.”

How could he make him happy, when the only one that did was Alice? Was Peter simply supposed to replace her with Ian? To move on and forget? He still didn’t understand why Ian cared for him in the first place or even bothered to try showing him love and affection. Why was he so taken with someone who was horrible and still attached to someone he could never have? Who shot him down at every turn and had been nothing but rude, blunt, and cold towards him? Who had shot at him and tried to kill him? How could Ian possibly love someone like that?

How could he possibly love him?

Peter frowned as these questions floated around in his mind, each one remaining unanswered and filling him with frustration. While he did not know the answers to these questions, he did know that Ian somehow loved him and wished to make him happy. He was one of the first, if not the only one to ever attempt such a thing or show an interest. With Alice she was only interested in the hour he represented; she was not interested in the man behind the hour; she was not interested in ‘Peter White’.

Ian, however, was.

As this thought began to push away the questions, Peter couldn’t help but focus on it. While he did so, a strange feeling he had multiple times before began to return. It was a feeling that showed itself every time Ian either confessed to him, flirted with him, embraced him, and even kissed him. He didn’t know what it was, though he did know that it was not something he felt often. It might have showed up once or twice when he observed Alice, but it was not frequent. The last time it showed up was when Ian pulled him close, talking about how he could make him happy as he embraced and kissed him. 

Peter felt his face heat up as he remembered the arm around his waist, followed by the gentle strokes on his cheek. No one had ever been that affectionate with him, nor had anyone ever got that close to him to do so. This was due to Peter shooting them all so as not to be contaminated by germs, and he used to do this to Ian as well. Yet as time went on Peter found himself doing it less and less. He found himself becoming more receptive to the others advances, no matter how much it irritated him. Each time the urge to push him away lessened, leading him to the point where their last encounter brought him far closer to the other than he had ever been.

The most surprising part of it all, was that the embrace was not unpleasant at all. In fact, if he were completely honest with himself, it felt rather nice. It reminded him of the times he had held Alice and how content he was having her in his arms. The only difference was that he was the one being held, not the one doing the holding. That too oddly felt nice, if not strange. 

Come to think of it, Peter had always been the one pursuing another. Not once was he ever pursued himself, and if he was, it was not persistently. In a way it was like the roles were reversed: He was Alice. Ian was Peter.

As he began to put all of this together, Peter kept wondering what it all meant. The strange feeling, the lessening resistance towards Ian’s advances, the knowledge that being held by him was not as disgusting as he thought and that it was similar to how he felt when holding Alice...what did it all mean?

“I believe this emotion is love.”

Peter froze as Spock’s words entered his mind. While he still knew little about love, something about Spock’s words began to make him think. The only experience he had was with Alice, in which he claimed over and over that he loved her. Using this as a guide, Peter began to reflect on the last encounter with Ian along with the encounters before. As he did so, the rabbit soon found himself presented with a new thought: This was similar to Alice.

The lessening resistance to any sort of physical contact; allowing Ian to get close while finding it to be less repulsive over time. He had done this with Alice. The only one whose presence and physical closeness didn’t repulse him was, up to this point Alice.

It had only been Alice, but now it seemed that another was there alongside her without him noticing.

Somehow he had let Ian into a spot that was close to where Alice was.

This realization made everything start to fall into place, while bringing a whole new bunch of questions with it. 

It also brought a new feeling with it: Guilt.

As the realization of what he had done set in, the guilt within him began to grow. He had sworn that Alice was his one and only; that it was her and only her that he loved. She alone was his beloved, and he had refused to let anyone close to where she was. She was supposed to be the only one, and yet he had let another in without knowing.

What would she think? If Alice were here, what would she say? Would she say that she knew his feelings for her were non existent? Would she tell him that she knew he didn’t really love her? Would she say that everything he told her and felt was a lie?

Was it all a lie?

Peter shook his head. He knew for a fact that he felt something for her. Whether it was romantic love or another kind of love, it was there. He also knew that she had made him happy, and that would never change. What he felt was genuine and true, and he was serious about it.

However, he also knew that nothing would come out of this. He knew that nothing would ever happen between them, and while what he felt was true, it would lead them both down a path of unhappiness and pain. Once again Peter found himself where he was before, and once again he wondered if he could ever be happy.

Looking back, Peter could say with almost certainty that no, he could never be happy. He could not have what his heart desired without inflicting a pain that neither of them wanted. He could truly never be happy with Alice by his side.

Yet, there was someone else. Someone who was not Alice had promised to make him happy, and while he still had his doubts he couldn’t help but wonder:

Could I ever be happy?

With Alice the answer was an obvious no.

With Ian the answer had yet to appear.

“Happiness is within your grasp, my friend. “

[yandere-sins]

Good evening or morning (wherever you are).... My request for today is Kaeya from genshin impact. What if he were to confess his love to a timid reader but *gasps* she reveals she has a boyfriend already. Smut is fine if you want.

Thank you so much 🦋

Thank you for requesting!! ♥ Part 2 of my trying to get back into smut OTL

Rated Lemon/Explicit!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««   

Even after everything that happened, you weren't able to forget the look on Kaeya's face as you broke the news.

True, you and your boyfriend had wanted to keep your relationship on the low, but not because you tried to deceive your friends, just so you two could have some peace while finding out more about each other and developing your feelings. But you never meant for anyone to look at you so... disappointed. Even if you were happy with your choice of partner, having to reject someone dear to you still hurt.

"Oh, [Name]," Kaeya sighed, shaking his head. Of course, he wouldn't be happy to hear the person he just asked out confess that they had a boyfriend. Perhaps especially because you two had always been relatively close, even more so lately where you were out almost every day after work. You felt a tinge of regret not telling him earlier. Save him the embarrassment you assumed he must feel. Then again, how could you have known that the charismatic Kaeya had feelings for you? He could have any woman in town, so why had it to be you? Of all people, you wouldn't have expected Kaeya to confess his love to you. Even if you two always got along fine, you thought yourself to look rather gray next to the shining knight that Kaeya was. Someone who wasn't fit to be anything more than friends with him.

"W-We can still continue being friends?" was the best and stupidest comfort you could come up with on the spot. You saw his grimace of disapproval, and it took him a second to collect himself, taking a deep breath before pushing himself away from the wall he had leaned on after learning the truth. Kaeya truly appeared devastated by the realization that you were taken already, and part of you could understand him. Certainly, you had just ruined his night and whatever companionship you two had, just because you couldn't have been more open from the beginning. It would have at least saved him some heartache, if any.

"Friends?" Kaeya mumbled, unfolding his crossed arms as he walked back to your side, leaning on the backrest of your chair. Feeling uncomfortably cornered, you stood up, looking around you. The outside of the tavern was lonely, and Kaeya had chosen this place for his confession surely to avoid any curious listeners. There were still voices coming from inside Angel's Share, but the streets of Mondstadt were quiet at this time of the night, with only his smooth voice reaching out to you. "With all due respect..."

Wrapping his fingers around your chin, you were forced to look up, staring right back into the mocking expression of your 'friend', the mood suddenly shifting. You had regretted having to reject Kaeya's feelings before, Kaeya always having been a good friend to you and hurting him felt wrong. But you would come to regret it much more that you went outside with him, away from the safety of the masses.

"I'd rather be anything else than your 'friend'."

»»————————

"Come on, Dove! Say it! I'm better than him, aren't I?"

"N-No--"

Your attempt to refuse this assumption was meekly interrupted by your loud gasps as Kaeya pushed forward. The curve on his cock was so perfectly aligned inside of you, constantly hitting the good spots whenever he plowed it inside. A cocky grin was on his face as he showed you off in the reflection of the mirror before you, spread over his legs and hanging in his grip on you. It was the biggest taunt he could think of, constantly reminding you how good you were feeling despite your initial refusal of him.

The image inside of the mirror wasn't one you had ever seen of yourself. That sweaty, drooling mess of a human, eyes unfocused and yet filled with pleasure, was nothing you could relate to. And yet, except for the occasional blue strands of hair falling over your skin and peeking out from behind your shoulder, your brain recognized the sight as you. Still, it was hard to accept this side of yourself, especially with his marks and hands. All. Over. It.

Kaeya only laughed as you tried to refute him, smirking a cocky grin from behind you. "Oh? Did Mr. Boyfriend not touch you yet? Even though you're such a little slut?"

His hand falling between your legs, Kaeya first brushed up your thighs, causing you to squirm from the sensation. His hands were trained and roughed up from handling swords, but the way he used them showed how skilled he was. Settling at your clit, he slowed down the rocking of his hips for a moment to get his fingers wet with your juices before picking up the pace again. There was no way you could deny how you were feeling after riding him for the better portion of time ever since he brought you to this city apartment of his, your body shivering and moving on its own with his hand teasing your clit, the additional pleasure riling you up.

"Look at your cunt gaping open for me~" he purred, opening your lower lips wide for the mirror to reflect your exposed entrance. Seeing how his shaft disappeared inside you clearly, you only felt hotter from embarrassment, turning your head which was quickly caught by his free hand, Kaeya turning it forward again - painfully so. His grip wasn't even close to how he had touched you before when you two had still been 'only' drinking buddies. You weren't sure how long he had feelings for you, but you wagered that these feelings must have changed much in the last hour, just like his touch. It once had been so gentle, kind. But now, it was rough and demanding, leaving no room for how you felt.

"Let go!" you said firmly, tearing yourself from his grip to avoid looking at this strange self in the reflection. You felt ashamed and embarrassed. Kaeya made a fool out of you, now that he had you in this peculiar situation. It's not like you wanted to cheat on your boyfriend and betray him in any kind. But your body reacted positively to it, making Kaeya chuckle as you tightened around him after seeing yourself, "You are enjoying it a lot, aren't you?"

It brought tears to your eyes, knowing it was Kaeya deeply lodged inside of you, but your sobs were just another incentive for him to continue. You couldn't even blame him for that - they did sound a lot like sounds of pleasure that overtook their place. Soon you were back to gasping and moaning, glad you at least weren't begging him for more with how shameful you behaved.

"You can still leave him," Kaeya suggested. Though a smile still played around his lips before he hid them behind your shoulder, kissing it tenderly, he sounded very serious. "Leave him and stay with me. No one needs to know what kind of slut you are, going behind his back."

"But I didn't!" you sobbed. "You forced me too-- You forced yourself on me!"

Without hearing the sigh falling off Kaeya's lips, you found yourself breathing in sharply as he made a sudden push, burying his cock even deeper inside of you, the base of it touching your body. The gasp was followed by a long moan, tears streaming down your face after he exploited your sensitivity so much. It was a regrettable, disgusting moan signaling how much you enjoyed him hitting these sweet spots of yours.

Your gaze fell back to the mirror, showing the pleasure-stricken expression on your face. Even though you knew you shouldn't feel this way, Kaeya simply seemed to know all the right things to do, and he used all of them. It was bitter, but he did make you feel... erotic. Made you feel like something you never saw yourself as. Something your boyfriend couldn't make you feel.

With him, it was sugary-sweet puppy love, but with Kaeya, there was so much more. Desire, carnal at that. Love, demands, obsession. No matter how either of you moved your body, it was exciting, making your heart race. Every glance at yourself in the mirror made your body tingle, and every one of his pushes sent waves of excitement up your spine. You wished to have experienced these things with the person you truly loved instead of the hawk watching you from behind.

"I know," he mumbled, his hands driving up from your pussy to your chest, giving your breasts an equal squeeze. Taking in a sharp breath, you held back, instead having Kaeya be the one to groan lowly into your shoulder as you tightened around him. "I'll take so much better care of you than that boy. I can make you your true self, don't you think? You're wasted on everyone but me."

"Just finish it," you breathed heavily, and Kaeya sighed.

"As you wish."

Picking you up by the legs, Kaeya hoisted you up into the air, taking a few steps forward to stand right in front of the mirror. It was a breathtaking sensation to feel his cock carving you out from the dynamic motions, your walls gladly welcoming every inch before confining his member inside. You really could do without a closer look at how his cock slid in and out of you, sloppy sounds and tingling sensations running through you, but it almost made you wonder if you'd be able to experience the same sensations that Kaeya put you through, ever again once this was over.

"Hope you're ready for what you wished for," he reminded you, and you instantly began to realize alarming innuendos in his choice of words and the teasing tone of his voice, struggling in his hold.

"N-Not inside!" you yelled at him, slinging one arm over his head to be the one to tightly grip his face this time. "You can't cum inside!"

"Oh, really?" he taunted you. You squeezing his cheeks together didn't change the fact that he could grin like a Cheshire cat out of fairytales. "Give me one good reason not to."

"I can't bear your baby! I just can't!"

Grinning even wider, Kaeya let you drop a few inches to kiss your nose. "You'll need to do better than that."

Biting your lip, you thought about what he could want to hear from you, eventually realizing the level you'd have to stoop to. A baby would ruin everything, especially if it was Kaeya's baby. Even if things wouldn't turn out the worst way possible, it would still be a lifelong reminder of this ordeal he put you through. Your pride was worth nothing in exchange for the future you always wanted to have.

"P-Please..." you mumbled, the quick pace with which he was ramming into you making it hard to speak. At the same time, it urged you to hurry, as it wouldn't be long now before he'd fulfill the deed inside of you.

"I can't hear you~"

"Please don't cum inside me!"

Halting abruptly, Kaeya looked at the mirror image of you two, thinking for a split second before he resumed the pounding--this time, determined to finish. It was almost like you were hit by thunder, every movement releasing more shocks through you. You were a panting mess, but Kaeya wasn't far from it either. His eye would close halfway as he sunk into pleasure with you, both of you falling deeper and deeper into this hole.

Until it was finally over, your body curving and stretching, Kaeya's grip tightening to hold you throughout your orgasm, fingers digging into your supple thighs. Closing your eyes, you felt like flying, carried by a cloud, away from all the bad things and surrounded by the comforts and excitement that only intimacy could cause. You were almost lost in the orgasm before a part of you recalled the danger that was Kaeya, but much to your relief, when you opened your eyes again, he pushed in deep for the last time before suddenly lifting your up and off his cock.

Spurts of white semen shot through the air, landing on your reflection's stomach almost exactly where it would have landed inside of you. Both of you huffing, exhausted and spent, you watched as it dripped off the slick surface, leaving its stains there rather than inside of you.

Kaeya finally dropped you down, your legs unsteady, but his hold never ceased and kept you up. "Thank you..." you muttered, finding it hard to believe that after all he did, you were still thanking him for not cumming inside. Finding yourself in his arms rather than the ground, you refused the kiss he wanted to plant on your lips, instead turning your cheek, but Kaeya didn't seem to mind.

"I think you owe me something," he whispered into your ear before you felt his teeth bit into your lobe, making you flinch. "I did pull out like you asked me to."

"I owe you nothing, you... you bastard! You fiend! You...!" Your feelings took the upper hand as you heard what he demanded from you now. It was hard not to raise your voice when he dared to tell you about what you owed him after taking you against your will.

Laughing out loud, Kaeya quickly composed himself again, pretending to be hurt. "Ouch. I didn't know you knew these kinds of words."

A sudden rough pull in your hair yanked your head back, your body arching under the force and pressing against his while Kaeya towered over you, never letting his gaze stray from you. "Call me what you want. I don't care what you think, I'm not your friend, remember? I am anything but your stupid, little friend."

This time he took your mouth as he pleased, ramming his lips into yours and slipping his tongue down your throat. When he finally spoke again, his words were nothing but threatening to you, an anxious knot building in your stomach.

"That's why you'll break up with that asshole, you understand?"

"Why would I! Just leave me alone! You had what you wanted!"

"You still don't understand it," Kaeya sighed, releasing your hair briefly before tangling it around his fingers again, pulling you back even further and making you fear your spine would snap. "You are what I want! You belong to me! I was nice this time, but I will change if I must. Break up with him and make it easy for both of you. And then you'll come back to warm my bed, understand?"

Gulping, you put on a brave face, trying to face his stare head-on. This was getting out of control; you couldn't let him win with all his endeavors! No matter how you thought about Kaeya before, this wasn't the man you had come to like and appreciate in the past. He was something, but you could only hope it was still a human.

"And what if I don't?" you asked, using all the courage left inside of you.

"Oh darling, believe me," he laughed, unexpectedly pulling away all of his hands, your body unable to keep itself up and plummeting to the floor. Instant waves of shock and pain hit you, but when he stepped between your legs, you couldn't help but look up to him. How could you have been so wrong about a person you spent so much time with? Who was this man claiming to love you?

"You will do as I say, or everyone will know what kind of slut you really are. Especially your fine boyfriend. Who do you think the people will believe - their charming cavalry captain or some random chick that was seen laughing and hanging around him a lot?"

You opened your mouth to protest, wanting to prove him wrong, wanting to tell him Mondstadt cared about you as much as they did about him. But... was this wrong to assume? Would they really believe your word against his? With a reputation like Kaeya had, would you stand a chance to win against him? You couldn't imagine living a different life than you had so far, so would you be able to deal with the branding of a cheater? Realizing these questions, you closed your mouth again, scrambling to get up and collect your clothes from the ground. You were ready to storm out of the room, just go home and forget about everything that happened but reaching for the doorknob, Kaeya approached you from behind, holding the door shut with his hand.

"Don't hate me too much, okay? I really, really love you, [Name]."

He sounded anxious as he whispered these words against your head, leaving a trail of kisses. How could you believe this? How could you believe any of what he was saying? Just now, he had forced you into a level of intimacy you hadn't been ready for, threatened you, and made demands. And now he came to you, showing these rare moments of vulnerability and insecurity that made you special before all of this went down. What could you still believe about Kaeya?

"This isn't love," you mumbled, twisting and turning the knob to leave, deciding you couldn't listen to his voice anymore.

"You'll come to understand that this is love," Kaeya chuckled. You could hear the bittersweet smile on his lips as he planted one more kiss on top of your shoulder before he pushed himself away, letting you escape into the night.

Only when the cold, fresh air engulfed your heated body could you finally collect your thoughts. Your body ached, and yet, it tingled with every step, remembering you of the pleasure you had experienced through him. Disgusted and appalled by yourself, you made your way back home, crying the whole time, wondering what went wrong.

It was all Kaeya's fault, right? He went mad and did these unspeakable things to you. He was jealous because you had a boyfriend already and rejected him. None of this was your fault... right? But at the same time, would he make these threats come true? Was there really no other way than to break up with your boyfriend? Could you do nothing but obey his demands if you wanted to keep living your life? Was the love he had for you really love?

These questions kept you up all night.

All while Kaeya sipped on his drink, satisfied with himself, studying the image of you he had in his mind and the cum stains on his mirror. Stains he only planned to add to but never get rid of.

Just like you'd never get rid of him.

[boltedfruit]

Today was my one month hysterectomy post op! If you are also ftm and wanting to know what the process was like, this is that post.

So for context: I'm 28, came out at 26 which is also when I started hormones. The month I turned 27 I got my top surgery (double incision). This is only relevant because I compare the two experiences. (Top surgery was worse recovery-wise for me.) I also live in California and went through insurance.

Pre op: So pre op was normal. They took my blood, added anti-nausea medicine to my IV antibiotic drip, because I specifically asked for it. When I got my top surgery I threw up once about an hour after I got home, which I was very nauseous for. Any type of abdominal surgery is it only made worse when your body is squishing itself together to throw up otl. But thankfully I had zero nausea or vomiting this time post op. So if you're like me, ask for anti-nausea meds before surgery. They also shave basically from your chest down to your suprapubic area.

What I had: I had a laparoscopic robotic total hysterectomy, where they removed my uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes, and my left ovary. I kept my right one for future bone health and any future egg harvesting if I ever want to do reverse IVF. I also don't have a family history of ovarian cancer, so that was a big deciding factor for me too.

Right after surgery: Where my top surgery took 6 hours and was generally a flippant experience by the staff, this surgery took around 2.5 hours and the staff was great. The only thing I didn't like was a nurse assumed I was diabetic for some reason and put me on a no food diet outside of jello. I stayed overnight and nobody would listen to me insisting I wasn't diabetic and wouldn't get clearance from the doctor until over 24 hours since I last ate. My doctor told me the next morning I should have had a no restriction diet, and eating normally after a robotic hysterectomy was totally normal and encouraged.

Post op bleeding and tw: I've seen other stories and vlogs of people who have had the same procedure done and explain how the nurses didn't help them move around or go to the bathroom, or in one really shocking case let the patient walk a trail of blood from the cervical sutures from his bed to the bathroom. I was worried about that, but after my experience I wonder if that wasn't just a new or uncaring nurse or half assed suture job. My experience was I hardly bled the entire post op. I had very heavy clotting periods before I started hrt, and had one mild instance where basically a pad was used. But all other bleeding was just light spotting. I also had healthy organs and have never been pregnant so that is a factor I'm assuming as well. But if you are worried, ask your surgeon what type of suture/stitch they plan on using and how that affects any expected bleeding. Even ask them to show you how they do it. You should not be pouring blood after surgery.

I was discharged around noon the day after surgery and I had to walk up stairs to get to my apartment. That was fine, this surgery didn't leave me off my feet like my top surgery had.

At home recovery went well. I propped myself up in bed and sleeping was slightly awkward but nowhere near as awkward as sleeping with top surgery drains was. The first five or six days post op it was hard to stand all the way straightened up, there was an internal pull, which was mainly on my left side, so I'm assuming for me it was because that side had more things removed. Laying on either side was hard until about a week and a half post op. At a day shy of two weeks post op I felt completely normal again. I also was cleared to take baths again.

I had four incisions, one of each side of my belly button and one in my belly button. But I still don't know where the fourth is, and the nurses at the hospital couldn't find it either?? So we were all like idk man. Honestly the one in the belly button is the hardest because (for me at least) with weight and a roll you just have a hard time keeping the area dry after an incision is left there. I'm 5’4 and weight 198lbs, and the way I hold weight it's not like I have a lot of folds of skin, but it was an awkward spot. My surgeon closed the incisions with internal stitches and skin glue. And around a week that glue came off, so to stop seepage I just used medical tape and a square of gauze over my belly button and changed it frequently throughout the day. It's nowhere near as bad as dealing with top surgery drains though.

At a month post op I've been cleared for everything except like power lifting until six weeks, which I don't do anyway. Compared to top surgery, having a total hysterectomy robotically was a breeze. I wasn't even told to limit sodium intake, so idk if that's a thing across the board when it comes to hysterectomies or just in my case. But nothing beats sausage after having like half a pound of jello cups.

My next step is meta, which I found out I got approved for, so I hope to get that done soon.

If anyone has questions about a part of the process, even if it's really TMI or not, I'm happy to answer!

[fuck-goes-on]

Reminder

pairing/s: dio morrissey x f! reader

summary: dio was being a brat, dancing with another girl in front of his mommy, so you take it upon yourself to remind him who he belongs to

warning/s: SMUT 18+ (MOMMY KINK, MMlb dynamics, light bondage, cock slapping, hand jobs, edging, orgasm denial, degradation, praise kink, dacryphilia (crying is arousing)), dom&sub aftercare, comfort, mentioned ricky and eddie

note/s: GODDAMNIT im back to my bullshit again huh, this time we fuckn making dio our BITCH!!! hhh ok all i need to do now is write eddie, and mayhaps all three of them together OTL gif is mine lol

masterlist

You were not having a good day. You had missed your bus stop after already being an hour late to work, and to top it all off, you were accused of the mistakes in a large business report you and your coworkers wrote. After a long day of trying to fix whatever went wrong in the said report, Dio, your little devil, dragged you out of the comforts of your home to a nearby club and wind down with him.

The club wasn’t somewhere you would go, but it seemed to please Dio and you thought to yourself, why not just enjoy it? You weren’t needed at home, anyways, with Ricky out with his friends and Eddie at the library to study. And of course, Dio was with you the rest of the night.

He took you to the bar and ordered the both of you some drinks, glancing at you with a grin. You sat in front of him on the stool, leaning back against the bar to see that mischievous glint in his eyes. "Now, isn't this fun, mommy?" He said unabashedly, his hands resting on your thighs as he stood in between your legs. He picked up your drink once it arrived, sniffing it once before handing it to you.

"It's alright," You teased, giving him a half-smile. Sipping on your drink, you take your time scoping out the area. There were multiple bodies on the dance floor, all dancing and swaying to the beat of the songs, and there were groups of people sitting at the booths and the bar. You looked back at him, catching the soft expression on his face before it melted back to his confident persona. "I can see why you and your friends like coming 'round here, it's entertaining and the booze ain't bad either."

Dio glowed at your praise, perking up and broadening his shoulders. "Of course! I wouldn't bring my mommy anywhere that's polluted with a bunch of drones." You shook your head, amused by his words. Leaning in, you pressed a kiss on the edge of his lips, feeling him chase you when you pulled back. He pouted for a second before bringing back his cheshire grin, "Do you want to come dance with me, mommy? I promise you'll have a good time."

"Hmm, I don't know, baby," You said regretfully, "I'm feeling too tired to dance. How about you go and have fun, hm? Mommy will keep an eye on you from here."

You laughed as he harrumphed, knowing that he brought you here solely to show you off, and now he wouldn't get the chance to. Your devil was a popular guy amongst the punk grunge community, that much you knew, but you've never been introduced into it.

Watching him slunk into the crowd, you silently observe him as you drink your liquor. He walked through the crowd as if it would part just for him, and it did. His head was held high, a slight swagger to his walk, and-

He approached a girl, slightly shorter than him, definitely a fan of him by the way she reacted, and led her to the dance floor. You glare daggers into the girl across the room, but mostly directed it into the leather-clad shoulders you were oh so familiar with. Your grip around your glass tightened as he turned her around, her back facing you, so he could catch your eyes as they ground against each other. You throw back your drink, finishing it in two gulps before standing up and stomping your way towards them.

Dio's shit-eating grin grew wider as you got closer, and the little devil had the gall to look pleased when you grab him by the arm and pull him away from the girl. Thankfully, she must've noticed your dark look and scrambled off into the crowd. You seethed at him as he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you flush against his body. "What's the matter, mommy? I thought you wanted me to have fun." He whispered in your ear.

You reached your hand up to run your fingers through his black hair, suddenly gripping it tight and tugging his head backwards. He moaned out loud at the action, an open smirk on his lips you desperately wanted to erase. His eyes were dark as his gaze landed on your tense expression, and you knew then that that was the reaction he was looking for.

"I didn't mean that kind of fun, baby. If I'd known you wanted to be a slut tonight, I would've treated you like one," You growled at him, making him bite his lip to suppress his whimper. You let go of his hair, turning around and start walking towards the exit, knowing Dio would follow you out.

The ride home was fast, your hand clutching at the steering wheel tightly while your other hand held Dio’s just as tight. You felt his eyes on you the entire time, but besides your joined hands, you ignored him completely. 

When you arrive back at the empty home, you had slightly calmed down but still intended to punish Dio. He almost bumped into your back in the hallway of your house after you paused in the middle. "Mommy?" He quietly asked, feeling the shift of your energy.

You turned to face him, eyes hardened, your gaze made him cower. "Go to the bedroom and strip. Hands above your head. Don't touch, or it'll be worse for you. Understand?"

Dio nodded, his breath catching in his throat. But you aren't satisfied with that, so you grabbed his jaw, forcing him to open his mouth. "Y-yes, mommy, I understand."

"Good. Now go." You watched carefully as your devil scrambled up the stairs towards your room, his leather coat flying behind him. You took your time, however, before following him up. After bidding your time by checking things around the house, you finally climbed the stairs and entered your room.

Dio was spread out on top of your pristine sheets, as naked as the day he was born, with his hands above his head. You were pleased that he took your orders seriously for once and hummed in appreciation. His eyes were on you, tracking your every movement and waiting for your next order.

Instead, you reached down underneath the bed to grab the box of toys you shared with your three boys and pulled out a soft strand of rope. You moved to straddle Dio around his chest, far away from his leaking cock. Taking his wrists, you pulled them up and tied them to the headboard. You checked the knots to see if they were tight enough to stop him from moving his hands.

After being satisfied with your work, you shuffled down Dio's body, now sitting between his bare thighs and running your hands against his skin. "You know how this goes, right, baby? Tell me your word."

"Drone, mommy," Dio replied, already sounding breathless and all you did was tie him up. He struggled against his restraints, and when that failed, he bucked his hips down to chase your hand. You tutted and slapped his thigh, hard enough it left a pretty pink mark.

"No, Shane, mommy is going to punish you, so behave," You warned him, amused as he moaned loudly for you. You waited for him to settle down before spitting on your hand to wrap around his cock. Watching him jerk and groan, you kept at a slow rhythm, thumbing at the slit on the red cockhead every time your hand rose. "Do you like that, baby? You like mommy touching you right?"

"Yes! Y-yes, mommy, I love it," Dio hissed out, trying his best not to thrust up into your grip. It was fun seeing him unravel under your touch, how you affected and shook his whole being. It gave you a sense of power, of control over him, and nothing gave you more pleasure than that.

You abruptly pulled your hand away, making him cry out in want. You tsked at him, giving his cock a sharp slap in annoyance. Satisfied with the way he whimpered, you brought your hand back on him, this time tugging him faster and tighter. "Tell me, Shane, who owns this cock? Hm?" You asked darkly, observing how close he was to coming.

"It's yours, mommy- ah, th-this cock is yours!" He swore loudly, orgasm building quickly and eyes focusing on your hand. Growling, you pulled your hand away again, relishing in his sweet cries for more. You slapped his cock, once, twice, watching it bob left and right at the impact.

Grabbing his chin in your other hand, you made Dio look at you straight in the eye before resuming your fast and harsh rubbing. He sobbed pathetically, tears slipping from the corner of his eyes, mouth open wide with lewd sounds coming out of him.

"That's right, baby. This is my cock, so tell me- Why did you let that bitch grind on it? Is mommy not good enough for you anymore? Have to go out and whore yourself out to anybody who wants you?" You pushed his thighs wider apart, leaning your still clothed body as close to Dio as you can. He shook his head frantically, trying to speak and explain himself but before he could, you slap his cock once more. "It's okay baby," You cooed, faking sympathy. "Mommy will just have to remind her cock that it belongs to her only, isn't that right?"

Dio wailed as you keep jerking his cock, his orgasms denied multiple times it almost hurt. He pulled at his restraints, wanting to hold his mommy, but to no avail, he was tied down perfectly to your liking. "Ngh, mommy, mommy- please, I'm sorry, I'll be good, please-"

"Aw, baby, I forgive you," You said as you smiled at him, your hand pulling away from his flushed purple cock yet again, denying him of his pleasure. Thick tears start to streak his face, and you wipe them away with both of your hands. Pressing a kiss on his forehead, you felt him tip his head closer to yours, eyes shining with unshed tears. You soften at the sight of him and meld your lips together in a slow kiss. You licked at his bottom lip, nipping at it lightly and pulled at it as you leaned back. "Are you okay, baby? Still with mommy? You did so well for me, Shane, the best. Mommy will reward you now, okay?"

"Y-yes, thank you, mommy," Dio whimpered out, gasping out loud as your hand makes contact with his sensitive cock for the last time. Your movement is slower now, less tight but good enough to easily bring him to a high. You don't let go as he finally came all over your hand and his stomach, crying out loud at the intensity of his orgasm. "F-fuck! Thank you, thank you, thank you-"

"That's my good boy, taking his punishment so well and remembering his manners. You're so good for me," You mumbled against his temple, pressing soothing kisses at the matted hair and skin there. You reached up to release his wrists from the rope and kissed it lightly. You let Dio rest and relax on the bed as you moved around the room to get lotion and wet tissues.

Sitting next to him, you started rubbing the lotion at the irritated surface of his wrists, soothing it the best you can. You then clean up the mess he made on his belly and your hand and wipe away the tear stains on his cheeks, throwing away the used tissues in the garbage can near your dresser.

Thankfully, Dio calmed down as you took care of him, his breaths going back to a normal pace. You took off your clothes before laying down next to him and smile when he immediately curled into your side. You rubbed his back and stroked his hair, humming a random tune to lull him to sleep.

Before he did, he opened his tired eyes once more to stare up at you. You tilted your head in question, wondering what he has to say.

"You did well too, mommy. You feel better now, right? No more tension?" He asked, and you freeze in surprise. It made sense, Dio using his brattiness for you to let off some steam from your bad day. And he did succeed; You felt infinitely more lighter than you did at the start of the day, and it was because of your little boy.

You softly smile at him, eyes tearing up a bit at his thoughtfulness. "Yes, baby, I feel much better. Thank you for this, love you so much, Shane."

"I love you too, mommy. Now let's sleep, you tired me out." You chuckled and cuddled Dio closer to you, the both of you drifting off to a peaceful slumber.

[anarchyduck]

[appear] “ i need help. please. ” gerfra

So sorry this took for-freaking-ever OTL ---------------------

Takes place: 1942, Paris

  Germany does not find sleep easily anymore. The wheels in his head continue turning, agonizing over battle plans and strategies, over conversations he held with subordinates and superiors. He thinks about the paperwork that sits untouched on his desk, in untidy piles that would usually dive him made. A half empty bottle of brandy sits in the middle of it all, a glass of it in his hand as he stares out the window to the Parisian streets.

 A rapid knock breaks through his thoughts and he stills, waiting. It is late and he is not expecting company at this hour. Another knock pushes him to move. He sets the glass down on the desk as he crosses the room, hand on his pistol as he nears the door. Thoughts filter through one by one, all with the touch of paranoia as he wonders who it could be.

 “I know you’re there.” A voice, tired and strained, and slightly muffled through the wooden door. “Don’t be rude.”

 A moment of shock stills his actions but then Germany opens the door. France stands before him, his clothes shuffled and worn. His face is narrower than last time Germany saw him, and he looks in need of a shave. More alarming than that is the blood that covers the side of his face.

 “I need your help.” He says before Germany can ask. Tired blue eyes fix on him. “Please.”

 He should not. He knows he should not. The last time he saw France was nearly two years ago after taking Paris. How tall and mighty France stood high even after being defeated. He was bloody then too. Though he was hurting, he walked with his head held high and greeted him with the same grace and charm Germany remembered him for. He came willingly and there was no need for shackles. Few days later, France was gone. Now here he stands, dressed in dirty clothes at his door.

 Germany pulls him inside, closes and locks the door behind them. “You shouldn’t be here.”

 France laughs dryly. “I could say the same about you.” He stumbles in his step before sitting down heavily in the closest chair. He groans as he leans his head back, his eyes falling close as he rests.

 Germany realizes the strange situation he has found himself in. His enemy enters his living quarters in the dead of night, wounded and exhausted. He doubts France has the strength to fight back. The thought of radioing it in snakes into his mind. He should call it in. France would be arrested, placed into the cuffs that he avoided before. It would certainly resolve some problems. His superiors would congratulate him for the capture. Something about it does not sit well. The mental image of France being carried away to execution makes his stomach churn.

 He finds himself walking to the bathroom to retrieve a first aid kid and wet washcloth. France is still in the same position when he returns and, were it not for the steady rise and fall of his chest, Germany might have suspected him to be dead.

 A chair scraps across the wood floor as Germany pulls it around the coffee table to France's side. He sets the kit down and, with the cloth, begins to carefully wipe the blood from the man’s face. “What happened?” he asks.

 “Just a touch of carelessness on my part.” France replies. His eyes are still closed, though his brows twitch together every so often.

 “Thought you had gone south.”

 “I did, for a time. But I missed my city.”

 Germany continues cleaning the blood away and finally finds a wound at France's hairline. It is clotted and closed now, though he wonders if it needs stitching. His brows pull together, and he moves the cloth away with a frown. The thought from before resurfaces once again, gnawing at his mind. A little voice tells him to call for reinforcements and another tells him to take care of it himself. Other questions came to mind, the top of them being why was France back in Paris?

 France's eyes open and he tilts his head to look at him. He looks awful, Germany thinks. Cheeks are hollower than he remembers. Dark circles beneath his eyes and a day-old bruise on his jaw. A still healing scrape blemishes his cheek and he looks tired. Worn thin. “So?” he asks, drawing Germany from his observations. “How bad is it?”

 “It’s fine. You’ll live.”

 “What wonderful news.” France says and Germany cannot discern if it was sarcasm or not.

 He stands and takes the bloodied cloth to wash in the sink. When he returns, France is helping himself to the brandy at his desk. Germany stills a moment and thinks of the many secret documents laying open on his desk. The paranoid voice hisses in the forefront of his mind and he chooses not to pay mind to it. Instead, he looks at the man standing by the window that overlooks the city. How delicately he holds the glass as he drinks, the moonlight in his hair.

 “Quiet night.” France says. “Never could stand the quiet when I was younger and now, I don’t mind it much. This industrial age is so noisy that I almost wish for quiet nights again.” He takes a sip then looks to Germany. “Suppose you wouldn’t know much about those nights, would you? Long before the wonders of electricity and automobiles.”

 “Why are you here, France?”

 “This is yours, yes?” France picks up the other glass of brandy Germany left on his desk and holds it out to him. “Drink with me. And do not worry, I didn’t poison it.”

 “I wasn’t thinking that.” Germany retorts as he takes the offered glass and, if to prove his point, takes a sip. France smiles lightly in approval.

 “We both know it would take more than poison to harm you.” he says calmly. “It is exhilarating, no?”

 Germany frowns, mind scrambling to catch up. “What?”

 “Conquering. The rush of new territory folded into you. Better than any drug in the world. Better than sex.” France chuckles lightly as Germany’s cheeks color red. “Once you have that first taste, you only crave it more. Don’t you, Germany?”

 “I don’t believe that’s an accurate description.”

 “But you do understand, don’t you? The good and the bad of it.” France swirls the liquor around in his glass. “All that territory, it doesn’t belong to you. Your body becomes a war within itself and you crave more in hopes it will satisfy the ache.”

 “Why are you here?” Germany asks again.

 France exhales a sigh and, for a moment, stares into the swirling brandy. Then he takes a drink and says, “Wonder if I could take a bath while I’m here?”

 Just how long does France intend to stay, he wonders. His mind wars with itself, frustrated he cannot gauge a proper read off the Frenchman. A thought that sounds awfully like his brother tells him to not to trust France. Do not turn your back, it says. Then again, Gilbert said that about many other nations. His chest tightens slightly at the thought of his brother and quickly pushes it out of his mind.

 “Yes, of course.” he replies, and France smiles again.

 “Thank you, my dear.” He finishes his glass in one swallow then sets it down onto the desk. Germany watches him go down the hallway and hears a door close. He drums his fingers around the glass in hand and looks to the empty one on the table. Pipes rattle in the apartment walls as he faintly hears the rush of water and he wonders how he has fallen into playing host to his enemy. He knows the trouble they will both be in if someone caught them.

 If.

 Germany’s mind falls back on France’s hollow cheeks and before he realizes it, he is in the kitchen preparing to reheat soup from earlier.

 France emerges sometime later. In the time spent, Germany has cleared his desk and consumed another glass of brandy. It is enough to finally take the edge off and silence the whispers that slither in his mind. Soup is sitting warm on the kitchen stove, its smell taking over the small apartment. He wonders if it will be enough. If France will take it alone or if he will distrust a meal from his enemy. He looks up as his new guest enters the kitchen and frowns lightly.

 “Are those my clothes?”

 “Found them in the wardrobe. Hope you don’t mind.” France finishes buttoning the cream-colored shirt, leaving the last few buttons at the top undone. It hangs from his body though not in the same way it does to Italy. Though he is broader and taller than France, Germany cannot help thinking the clothes should not hang off that much. “God, I remember when you were smaller.”

 “Excuse me?”

 “You used to be this cute little darling that Prussia adored showing off. And now look at you, all grown up.” France exhales a sigh as he ties back his still damp hair. Few stands escape to frame his face and it's then Germany notices he has shaved. The shadows beneath his eyes remain, as does the bruise on his jaw. His eyes drift upward to the cut on his forehead and feels relief when he sees it is nearly healed. His gaze catches France’s and he sees the man smirking at him. “See something you like, Germany?”

 Germany’s face warms and he hastily turns away towards the stove to lift the pot and stir the soup. Behind, France chuckles lightly and he wonders how much of this the man enjoys. All of it, he realizes. Would it be too late now to throw him out of the apartment? His jaw tightens for a second as he ladles some soup into a bowl and sets it down on the table.

 “Thought you would be hungry so I…” he trails off awkwardly as he catches France’s still smiling at him. He is not sure what about this time.

 “How kind.” France muses. He takes the seat and stirs the contents around in the bowl with his spoon. Faintly, Germany wonders if the man will take food from him. Would he think it was poisoned? But then the worries fade as France begins to eat.

 “Entire city is rationing and here you are with real meat.” he comments between bites. “I thought all resources were going to the front.”

 Germany’s jaw tightens as he frowns. “They are,” he replies.

 “Don’t suppose you have cigarettes on hand, do you?”

 “I don’t smoke.”

 France raises a brow at him and puts his spoon down. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thin metal container from his pocket. “Then what’s this?”

 “Gift.” Germany replies. “But I don’t smoke.”

“Hm. Mind if I do?” France asks as he pulls out one of the cigarettes from the box. He quickly lights it and inhales deep, holds it, then exhales. Germany waves off the smoke that wafts in his direction and moves to take the other seat at the table. They sit in relative silence. While France smokes and eats, Germany once again attempts to figure out the situation he has found himself in.

The grandfather clock in the living room chimes twice as France lights his second cigarette. “Does it ever stop?” he asks suddenly.

Germany frowns. “Does what stop?”

“Those gears in your mind.” France leans back into his chair, cigarette between two fingers as he looks at him. “They have been excessively turning since I arrived. You’re wondering what I’m doing here.”

“I am curious, yes.”

France hums in his throat and brings the cigarette to his lips. Smoke curls in the light as it floats about the room. “You wonder if I am here to steal your precious plans. Stuff papers and secret documents into my trousers and carry them off to my leaders.” He takes another drag, the end lighting on the inhale. “Or perhaps I sneak into your bed and slit your throat while you sleep.”

 Germany’s brow furrows. “The thought crossed my mind, yes.” he says tensely. “Why else would you come back, knowing the danger.”

 He laughs and flicks ash into the empty soup bowl. “My dear, I’m not crude like Arthur.” he says. “Besides, in my current state, I could not hurt you even if I wanted to.” 

“Then what do you want?” Smoke swirls around France and it reminds him of Bismarck. When Prussia brought him to Versailles to be crowned as the new German Empire. He had his first cigar then and found it distasteful. It made his eyes water and the smell clung to his clothes for days. France had been there too. Silent and seething from across the room when Wilhelm was proclaimed emperor.

“What I want,” The memory fades as France begins to speak. “I cannot have.” He takes another long drag and Germany wonders if he intends smoking it down to the end as he did the first one. “Least not immediately, so I will settle for second.” 

“Which is?” 

 “A soft bed to start,” France’s lips curl into a smile. “And perhaps your warm company.”

“No.” Germany says immediately and leaves the table, ears growing warm as France’s laughter trails behind him.

[fieryanmitsu]

A Taste of Home | Ikemen Vampire – (Sebastian/Female MC)

I had this idea outlined for almost two months, but didn’t have a chance to actually write it out during  @unappreciatedotomelove’s “Unappreciated Character Month” back in June! My goal was to finish writing before the end of July so that I could at least pretend to contribute this to the event! OTL Luckily, I was able to squeeze in some writing in between work the past few days!!

For this piece, I decided to focus on our lovable butler! Sebastian is actually one of my favourite characters from IkeVamp, and I’m very excited to finally write something for him! This is actually my first time writing for IkeVamp in general, as well, but hopefully it won’t be the last!!

Just going to quickly tag @b1a4seeyou – I’m sooooooo so late, but here’s that Sebastian fic I was talking about, haha!! Also tagging @otonymous and @pseudofaux! No pressure at all, but if either of you have some time, I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts - especially with Sebastian’s characterization (and since I’ve finally written something in a fandom you’re both active for)!! ☺️

Please enjoy~!

A TASTE OF HOME

Written for “Unappreciated Character Month”

PROMPT: Day 19 – Being ill

CHARACTERS: Sebastian, Female MC

PAIRING: Sebastian/Female MC

My fanfic masterpost: Here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu

It was an unfamiliar feeling for Sebastian – this consistent throbbing in his head and rawness in his throat. He prided himself on his resilience and excellent immune system, after all. Yet, here he was, flat on his back on a plush mattress, his cheeks flushed with a fever.

The historian couldn’t even remember the last time he had been sick. It certainly hadn’t happened since he had arrived at M. le Comte’s mansion, at the very least. Even though – for months and months on end – he had single-handedly taken care of the cleaning and cooking for all the residents of the mansion with nary a break, he had never taken a sick day.  

As he pondered his recent medical history – or lack thereof – a distant memory flickered across his mind. A memory from many years past and a previous life. However, before his fever-addled brain could grasp it firmly, his bedroom door creaked open.

“How are you feeling, Sebastian?” the newest resident of their mansion asked as she pushed a trolley into the room and quietly closed the door behind her.

“I’ve been better,” he replied dryly, before a cough wracked his body.

“I’ve brought your medicine, and something for you to eat,” the young woman responded with a sympathetic smile. “Can you sit up?”

Sebastian grunted and managed to move his arms, heavy with fatigue, and propped himself up into a seated position. He leaned back against the plush pillows and sighed wearily. Once he was settled, his colleague proffered him several small pellets and a glass of water.

Swallowing the bitter medicine, he watched as the woman next to him lifted the lid off his meal.

“Is that... rice porridge?” he asked incredulously.

“It is! Are you surprised? But, when I heard you were sick… well, I just knew that it had to be rice porridge – there’s just nothing quite like it when you’re not feeling well, right?” she replied. “I added in some minced chicken for protein, too – so that you can get your strength back up.”

Sebastian could only stare speechlessly as she set a serving tray over his lap and placed the piping hot bowl in front of him, along with a couple of ramekins and a saltshaker.

“I couldn’t get my hands on any pickled plums or the other really Japanese toppings, but Dazai was able to find some fresh ginger and scallions for me. He was so excited to hear that I was cooking Japanese food, he scoured the foreign markets for hours to find the ginger, you know,” she chattered, a chuckle slipping past her lips. “Oh, and here’s another one for your diary: Napoleon wouldn’t stop hovering as I cooked – he was so fascinated with the concept of rice porridge that he sat and watched the pot almost the entire time it cooked.”

“I have no idea what diary you’re speaking of,” he retorted automatically with a frown. If only his arms didn’t feel so heavy, he would flick her in the forehead for that comment.

Apparently ignoring him, she turned her attention to the tray and seasoned the rice porridge with a dash of salt and sprinkled on some julienned ginger and slivers of scallion. Mixing the porridge gently, she scooped up a small spoon and blew on it carefully before lifting it to hover in front of his mouth.

“Say ‘ahh’,” she instructed, eyes crinkling with a mischievous smile.

Cheeks flushed – from the fever, or something else, he wasn’t quite sure – Sebastian hesitated, eyes flickering to the door. Confirming that it was indeed firmly shut, he finally leaned forward and took a bite.

The taste was so nostalgic that he became overwhelmed. The fleeting memory from earlier now slammed into him like a truck. And, suddenly, he was in university again – when he had collapsed in his apartment after weeks of stress, overexertion and lack of proper meals and sleep. With his completed thesis safely handed in to his professor, his body had finally surrendered. It was his sister that had found him on the floor, hours later.

He had eaten rice porridge back then, too, with ginger and scallions – they had been his sister’s garnishes of choice since childhood. And, as the taste lingered in his mouth and the warmth of the porridge slid down his throat, spreading through to the tips of his fingers, he felt another unfamiliar feeling prickling at his eyes.

When was the last time he had cried, either?

“Oh no!! Was it too hot?! You’re tearing up!” the woman beside him cried in panic.

“No, it’s fine. Stop flapping around,” he responded with a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment, regaining his composure.

“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighed, her hand pressing against her chest in relief. “How does it taste, anyway?”

Sebastian paused. Instinctually, he wanted to say: ‘It tastes good’; which wasn’t a lie. Though, he honestly would have been quite concerned if it hadn’t been palatable considering it was just rice and water. However, another word had popped into his head instead.

‘Home.’

It tasted like home.

Sebastian’s always so unflappable and competent, I just thought it’d be really cute to see him helpless, for once! Also, I was actually trying to figure out how long Sebastian’s been at the mansion – I haven’t read all of the routes yet and couldn’t remember if it was mentioned in any of the routes I did read – but I wasn’t able to find the answer easily, so I left it kind of vague. I know that, in his birthday story, he mentioned that he hadn’t seen his sister in years, but he didn’t specify if it was because he was at the mansion or if he was already estranged from her previously. If anyone does know the answer, I’d love to know!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little fic! Please feel free to leave your thoughts – I love hearing what readers think! If you’re interested in my other entry for the “Unappreciated Character Month”, I also wrote a quick piece for Ikemen Sengoku as well (found here). I plan to round out my entries with one more piece – for Ikemen Revolution – so please stay tuned for that in the next couple of days!

Thank you so much for reading and any reblogs are always appreciated!

-Anmitsu

[btsmutimagines]

All Tangled Up

A/N: I tried to be cute but I’m too awkward for that... I’m sorry OTL

Request from the old inbox:  can I have a Jimin fluff where you both have a Disney movie night and you choose your princess movie (mines is Tangled but you can choose which ever) and the love song comes and Jimin sings to you (like I see the light and when eugene's part plays he sings along) and it's really fluffy?(sorry if it stinks, but I figured I'd give you a non-jungkook request)

Word Count: 1.7K

please take this gif as a peace offering

 You groaned to the sound of your ringtone, suddenly waking you up. Refusing to leave the warm bundle of covers you were under; you stretched your hand to grab your buzzing phone off the side table. A string of curses was grumbled as you got up to pick up your phone and answer it.

Who thought it was a good idea to call you now?!

Howdy, girlie! How are you?

Oh, it’s you.

Ouch, no ‘Hello, bestie’? You’re so grouchy.

You could tell that your friend, Hana was pouting on the other end and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t in the particular mood to hold a conversation, let alone the ones that she tends to have. Long, drawn-out and could probably be wrapped up in 10 minutes if she could stay on topic.

Hana, I’m sick.

You are? Why didn’t you tell me?

I did. You even brought me medicine!

I did? Maybe I was drunk…

Anyways, I would like to get back to sleep-

Wait, I need some serious bestie advice and you just happened to be qualified.

Can’t I get a raincheck?

I really like this guy and I think he’s different than the others and…

She roped you into her story before you could even protest. You almost fell asleep a few times, listening to the whole spiel before she called your name.

Yah, Y/N! Did you even listen to a word I said?

Yeah, you think the guy you met last is the one because he took you out to coffee after whatever happened last night, and he’s been texting you a lot? It’s literally been less than 24 hours, how are you this hung up on a dude? You barely know him.

That doesn’t stop love, Y/N.

And I’m done with this conversation.

Don’t be like that, Y/N! It’s different this time, I swear.

Okay, I’m hanging up now. Bye.

You sighed, looking at the time you had your ear pressed to your phone. 40:31. Could you really expect less? Before you could return to bed, there was a knock on your door.  Is it national ‘let’s bug a sick girl’ day?

You grabbed a robe, the warm fabric hugging you as you slowly walked to the door. Turning the doorknob, you cracked the door open a bit and your eyes widen as you quickly shut the door.

Park Jimin was standing at your door, in the hallway of your apartment building and you looked like you could scare Death himself to death.

“Y/N? Could you open the door please?”

“J-Just a second.” You said, quickly rushing to the bathroom to brush your teeth and fix your bird nest of hair. You returned to the door, taking a quick breath before opening it up again.

“Hi.”

“That was longer than a second, you know.”

“I didn’t mean it literally, Jimin.”

“May I come in?”

“Oh, right.”

“I heard you were sick, and I figured I would stop by just to check up on you.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Jimin.” You could have sworn you saw him blush, but he coughed, looking away and you tried to fight the smile that wanted to peak through.

Alright, fine, you might have the tiniest, smallest, little crush on Jimin. He always did obnoxiously cute things that you couldn’t help but smile. He was clumsy, at times whiny but he was also really thoughtful, sweet and would always be a shoulder to lean on.

But a guy like Jimin isn’t one that you can keep to yourself- Not that you could do that or something.

“Are you sure you could be out of bed like this? Earth to Y/N?”

“Huh?” Jimin placed the back of his hand on your forehead, your face growing hot and he pulled away.

“Gosh, you’re burning up.” Tell me about it. You cleared your throat.

“Just lay down on the couch, I’m gonna heat up the soup Jin made.”

“Jin made me soup? I should get sick more often.”

“No! I-I mean I helped him out mostly, I really made the soup.”

“Sure, Jimin.”

“Just go lie down, please.” You did as you were told, lying down on the couch.

“Hey, Y/N, where do you keep your blankets?”

“Second door on the left.” He came back with one of your thickest blankets, covering you with it and you looked at him.

“You should take a picture, it would last longer.”

“Shut up. Where’s my soup, Jimin?”

“Oh shoot, I almost forgot.”

“Jimin, please don’t burn down my home.”

“I got this. You just lie there, all pretty and warm- I mean you could be pretty warm with that blanket, right?”

“Smooth.” He winked at you before quickly backing into the kitchen, you covered your mouth to hold in your laughter. So stupid.

You laid there, listening to Jimin opening and closing different cabinets in your kitchen. He came back with a bowl and chopsticks in each hand and you sat up.

“You like coconut curry, right?”

“My favourite soup. Maybe you did help out a little bit.”

“One day I‘ll show you.”

“Looking forward to it, Jimin.”

“Have some, it is for you, you know.” You broke the chopsticks and took a bite, instantly hit with the delectable flavours and couldn’t stop yourself from devouring the whole bowl.

“That good, huh?”

“God, Jin is a cooking prodigy.”

“Let me have a bite.”

“Nuh-uh, you can ask Jin to make some for you when you’re sick.” You said, getting your last bite but Jimin grabbed your hand and fed himself.

“You brat, that was my last bite.” You poked his cheek with your chopsticks while he began chewing.

“Tasted even better knowing that.”

“Is this how you treat the sick and vulnerable, Jimin?”

“Jin made more than one bowl.”

“Fine, you’re temporarily forgiven.”

“Temporarily?”

“I don’t deal with food lightly. Especially really good food.”

“Will you forgive me fully if we watched these together?” He handed you a plastic bag, when did he bring that in?

Your curiosity got the better of you, peering through the content and noticing there were all Disney movies. You enjoyed most of the titles, Bambi, Aladdin, Alice in wonderland but you stop when you pulled out Tangled. The Disney classic was one of your all-time favourites. It was well known amongst your friend group and it’s the only movie you would watch for the rest of your life if you had to.

“You brought these for me?”

“Yeah, I did. Am I fully forgiven?”

“I’ll tell you after the movie.” You snuggled into your blanket, watching Jimin turn on your tv and insert the disc into your DVD player.

“Can you turn off the lights too?”

“Want the whole experience too, huh?”

“It’s not too much to ask, is it?”

“The things I do for you.”

“Hush, it’s starting.” You watched the intro of the Disney castle and felt yourself getting giddy. You were easily engrossed in the movie when you felt a warm body close to yourself.

“J-Jimin.”

“I’m feeling cold, do you mind?”

“I could grab another blanket.” You suggested, about to get up but Jimin pulled you closer to him, your body half resting against his.

“No, this is fine.” You turned your attention to the movie, trying to not be so rigid against him and focus.

You quietly sang along with the songs, Jimin laughing with you at all the funny moments and your favourite scene was about to come up.

You began to sing along with Rapunzel, watching the lanterns floating around them.

All those days watching from the windows

All those years outside looking in

All that time never even knowing

Just how blind I've been

Now I'm here blinking in the starlight

Now I'm here suddenly I see

Standing here it's all so clear

I'm where I'm meant to be

 And at last I see the light

And it's like the fog has lifted

And at last I see the light

And it's like the sky is new

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything looks different

Now that I see you

You heard Jimin clearing his throat before singing along to Flynn, you looked at him in surprise.

All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight

Now she's here suddenly I know

If she's here it's crystal clear

I'm where I'm meant to go

He met your eyes, the two of you continue to sing along.

And at last I see the light

 And it's like the fog is lifted, Jimin sang

 And at last I see the light

 And it's like the sky is new, you vocalized before you both sang together once again.

And it's warm and real and bright

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once everything is different

Now that I see you

Now that I see you

“I didn’t know you could sing like that.”

“A hidden talent of mine. Your voice is pretty good too.”

“Why, thank you.” You said, turning your attention back to the movie and hearing Jimin let out a sigh. The movie went on, you only got up to stretch when the credits began to roll.

“I guess you’re forgiven, Jimin.”

“Y/N.”

“Oh, okay, why do you sound so serious all of a sudden?”

“Because,” he got up to stand in front of you, all you could muster a look of bewilderment as he took a deep breath before continuing.

“I want you to believe me when I say I like you…”

“You w-what?”

“I like you, okay? Don’t make me repeat it.” Uh, you just did- Wait, that’s not the point, Park Jimin just goddamn confessed to you.

“I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I can’t keep-”

“Could you stop trying to be cool for two seconds, so I could tell you I like you too?”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m not repeating myself, Jimin.”

“It’s okay I recorded it!” The two of you looked over to see Hana standing behind the couch and she waved.

“How the hell did you get there? Why the hell are you in my house and why did you record that?”

“It’s for my memories, Y/N confessing to Jimin after pining him for months-”

“You have?” Jimin asked, you avoiding his eyes and glaring at Hana. She’s going to get it when you aren’t sick, just she waits.

“Kim Hana, you’re so dead.”

[golbrocklovely]

twisted // colby brock - chapter nine

A/N: no TLDR. so... i haven’t update yall in a long time. to make a long story short, i was working on these chapters, along with the new story The Chosen Daughter. i originally wasn’t gonna post this until i had written out some more chapters for Only The Lonely Survive, but i figure i need to get on with this story so that i can post TCD. that being said, i’m gonna post every other day this story until it is done, then i’ll start up with TCD. i’m gonna keep writing OTLS, i’m just a bit on a writers block for that one. alrighty... lmk what you think. i’ll see yall soon with another chapter :)

description of the story

taglist: @absolute-randomness-forever , @far-to-many-bands , @itsmoony , @mellissalox​ , @sammy0927​ , @the-specific-oceans , @ashyoungxblood

trigger warning: mentions of death/kidnapping/rape (very brief), cursing, surprise ending ;)

word count: 1249

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at Smitty’s dead body for what felt like hours, but it was only seconds. I came to, inhaling sharply.  

My eyes darted to the knife on the table. I leaped over Smitty’s body, not wanting to even look at it anymore.

As I reached the table, I saw two phones smashed to pieces; Sam and Colby’s. Mine’s was nowhere to be found. Next to them was an old flip phone, most likely Smitty’s. I grabbed it, shoving it into my back pocket.

I yanked the knife from the table and slid to Sam, cutting his hands free. As he undid his gag, I sliced through his binds on his ankles. I rushed to Colby and ripped through the rope on his hands, Sam taking off Colby’s gag. As I cut the rope off Colby’s ankles, Sam helped me to my feet as Colby stood up.

A silence fell over us as we all looked at one another. A cry ripped through my throat as I grabbed the both of them, embracing them. They wrapped their arms around me and each other. We held each other tightly, sobbing quietly.

“We’re okay. Fuck, we’re okay.” Colby choked out.

I pulled away from them. “We gotta go. Now.”

We nodded, running up the stairs quickly. As we passed the front desk, Sam grabbed the keys to our car.

“Go start the car, I’ll be out in a second.” I commanded.

“What? No, come with us.” Colby replied, stopping Sam.

“Just go start the car. I’ll be five seconds. I need to grab something.” I stated.

Sam started. “Angel-”

“Just go!” I yelled, turning to the library quickly.

I could hear them run out of the house as I entered the library. I rushed to the blinking light in the book, ripping it open. I opened the camera and clicked the SD card out.

“Gotcha bitch.” I whispered, sliding the SD card into my pocket and throwing the camera on the floor. I ran out of the library and out the front door. I stomped down the steps, abruptly halting as I saw Colby looking under the hood of the car as Sam tried starting the car up.

“The battery… it’s dead. Smitty killed it.” Colby slammed the hood down.

“Fuck!” Sam grunted, punching the steering wheel.

“It’s like he knew if we tried to escape, this would be our way out.” Colby hissed.

“We run then. He smashed all our phones, but I have his. Maybe we can get service out in the forest. I’ll call the police, but we gotta go. I don’t want to stay here.” I responded.

“…Alright then. Let’s go.” Sam declared.

We began to run down the dirt road that led to the house. I tried picking up a signal as we went, but nothing was coming through. We kept pushing on, never stopping for a second.

Deciding to cut through the forest instead of staying on the road, we began to climb over fallen trees and broken branches. I raised the phone into the air, trying to get any service but nothing came of it.

After running for ten minutes, we slowed down slightly. Our energy was running low, and it felt like we weren’t getting any closer to the main road. My heart had not stopped hammering against my rib cage. I needed to stop, but I couldn’t allow myself a break.

I just wanted to get to the road and pray that this phone could get service.

As we hopped over another tree, Sam yelped suddenly as he fell to the ground. Colby and I jumped over the tree quickly, catching up to Sam. He was on the ground holding his ankle.

“What happened?” Colby asked, kneeling to Sam.

“My foot got caught on something. I think I twisted it. Shit.” Sam winced.

I lightly pealed Sam’s hands away looking at his ankle. “It’s swelling but it doesn’t look broken.”

“Can you stand on it?” Colby pulled Sam to his feet, Sam took one step and his body almost collapsed back to the ground. Colby and I caught him, our arms around him.

“How the fuck are we gonna keep going? Maybe you should leave me. Come back when you get help.” Sam stated.

“Are you crazy? Sam, we came this far. We’re not leaving you behind.” I argued.

“But I can’t walk. What are we gonna do?” He replied.

Colby chimed in. “I’ll carry you. Just hop on my back. We can’t be too far from the road now. Angel, keep trying to get a signal. When you do, call the police and get an ambulance too.”

“Colby, are you sure?” Sam questioned.

Colby leaned down, lowering himself so Sam could piggyback him. “I got you, brother. Just hop on.”

We continued. It felt like it was getting darker, or maybe we were just in the middle of the forest. I kept trying to get service as we trudged ahead, stopping randomly to let Colby rest for a moment.

The phone made a quiet beeping noise. I glanced down at it and saw there were three bars of service.

“I got service!” I yelled out.

I flipped the phone open, dialing 9-1-1.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” The operator spoke.

“Thank God. Me and my friends need help. We were just kidnapped and tortured. We escaped and we are now in the middle of the woods heading towards the main road, I-88. We need police and an ambulance. My friends and I are seriously hurt.” I explained.

“Where did you just escape from?” The operator inquired.

“The Smith Bed and Breakfast. The man that owned that place kidnapped us and almost raped me. Please, we need help.” I begged, holding back tears.

“Help is on the way, don’t worry. The Sheriff should be near you guys right now. Are you close to I-88?” She responded.

I looked up, seeing a clearing patch up ahead. I gazed at Sam and Colby who were behind me. I began to run ahead, just wanting to get to the road. As I got close, I responded to the operator.

“Yes, we’ve reached it. Where is the Sheriff?” I muttered breathlessly.

“He’s passing marker 45.” She informed. “Can you see what marker you’re at?”

I stared ahead, trying to see the marker.

50.

“50. We’re right between 49 and 50.” I clarified.

The operator insisted. “He’ll be there in a minute. Hold tight, honey.”

I stood in the road, my eyes bore at the road waiting to see lights. Lights whipped around the corner, flashing red and blue.

Thank you God.

A smile came to my face for the first time. “I see him.”

“Alrighty, sweetie. You’re safe now.” She comforted.

I sighed, ending the phone call. The cop car slowly came to a stop as Sam and Colby climbed up onto the road.

The Sheriff got out of his car, his hand resting on his gun. “What seems to be the problem?”

Sam and Colby hobbled over to him, explaining what happened. My body finally felt relaxed, wanting to collapse to the ground. I stood off to the side, my back facing the forest.

I heard a branch crack behind me, and then a body slammed into mine. The breath kicked out of me, I choked as I screamed out.

Sam, Colby, and the Sheriff spun to me, their eyes widening. The Sheriff pulled his gun as a knife was placed against my throat.

“Drop the knife, Smitty! Put it down!”

<< CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 10 >>

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Forty-Two: Taking Chances ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, gun ] [ Verse: Of Monsters and Men ] [ AO3 Link ]

She was never really the type to take chances, but then, well...Uchiha Sasuke came into her life, and nothing has been the same.

Hinata had been trying all her life to just be a normal girl. She went to school, never skipped, got good grades. Maybe not enough to be top of the class, but close. Bookish, introverted, and shy, she coasted through most of her educational years alone. Her grades did well, but...her social life, not so much. It wasn’t until college where she really began to branch out a bit. She met a few other girls her age taking what was meant to be her core classes that they were taking as electives: those relating to horticulture. Sakura took it slightly as a vanity project, given her name. And Ino’s family owned a flower shop in her hometown. The former wanted to become a doctor, and the latter wanted to study cosmetology. While Hinata didn’t consider either of them close friends...they were the closest she’d gotten to the notion in quite some time.

The changes college brought about meant changes in her, too. Ever so slightly, she felt herself growing bolder. She’d skip study hours to go with them to movies. Listen in to gossip as the pair would mull over boys in their classes or spotted on campus. None of it was really her typical style, but...she told herself she liked it. Told herself it was normal to befriend people her age, especially girls, and actually do things besides study and lurk online.

And then life had to go and make her wish she’d never stepped outside her comfort zone.

It was stupid. She knew it was stupid. But she also told herself it wasn’t that big of a deal. The odds of something going wrong were surely not that high. Her university city is big, sure...but the crime rate isn’t too high. Surely a quick jaunt on her own wasn’t going to land her in any trouble, right?

...wrong.

Walking quickly and eyes flickering, she’d found herself suddenly grabbed by an arm and dragged into an alleyway. Heartbeats soared with panic, mind screaming, “I told you so!” as a man leered down at her, gripping her neck and pinning her up against the building behind her.

But it wasn’t just any man. This man wasn’t human...he just looked the part, sans the bright red eyes and sharp teeth in his grin.

Hinata knew what he was. She’d seen beings like him since she was small. A talent - or in her mind, a curse - she’d had for as long as she could remember...one her father had insisted she stamp out, ignore, somehow cure herself of.

But for all her playing ignorant, for all her pretending not to see...Hinata could never fully escape her sight.

And even then...it wouldn’t have saved her.

No...her saving grace came in the form of another man. Another vampire. This one wielding a gun and demanding the attacker let her go. Claimed to be an Enforcer...whatever that meant.

The word had stiffened her assailant, bolting only to be struck down. Hinata was alive...and in shock. Though, admittedly, not as much as a typical human would be.

The officer attempted to drug her, to help her forget...but there would be no forgetting. She’d been privy for their world long before then.

The world of monsters...of Nightwalkers.

Awakening something long buried within herself, she’d managed to break free with what felt like a kind of...magic.

And then she fled.

She had fully expected that to be the last incident. No more taking chances - she’d just...hole herself up in her dorm when not in classes, and get through the rest of her schooling without anything else going wrong.

But Ino and Sakura were relentless, and a few weeks later insisted she join them for another movie. No matter her insistence otherwise, they wouldn’t let up...and finally she caved. The movie itself was fine, the gaggle of them heading back to the station to take the train back across the city. But little Hinata, short of stature in the crowds, was lost and left behind.

And that’s when he found her again.

Part of her had panicked, wondering if he was here to arrest her, or try to take her away. But all he’d offered was a ride back, given she’d missed her train.

Wary...she’d agreed, part of her admittedly curious about him, and his world. He’d introduced himself as Uchiha Sasuke: a vampire, and a kind of officer tasked with protecting their world from detection.

He also told her she wasn’t human. Not...completely. Hinata, as it turned out, was an odd in-between. The term varied by culture, but in Japan they were often called mikos...or in less friendly terms, witches.

It had been...only partially shocking. Hinata had always known she was different, but wasn’t aware of how rare, or that she wasn’t just crazy, but...simply something different than anyone else she’d ever known.

To her detriment, however...the rather handsome vampire was spotted taking her home, spurring rumors and begetting interrogations from her friends. Barely holding them off with his tale of being a cop (which...was true, just not the way they thought), she’d found herself at a crossroads. No longer could she keep trying to be blind to the other world, but...doing so would make existing in the human half difficult.

Sasuke kept contacting her. Kept trying to learn more about her. About her lineage. The pair grew closer. She even dared to call him a friend. And that friendship was tested when Sasuke found himself wounded nearby her campus, stopping in and asking for her help...only to end up drinking her proffered blood to help overcome the silver-inflicted injury.

...but that’s when the trouble truly started.

There was something...else between them now. The act had felt...strangely intimate. Hinata wasn’t sure what to call it. But it wasn’t long after that she found herself dragged into a political disaster.

Sasuke’s boss - the leader of his coven, and one of the most powerful Nightwalkers in the world, Uchiha Madara - had finally taken interest in Sasuke’s little project of studying witches. He had her kidnapped, dragged to one of his many hideaways...and wanted to study her for himself.

It was then Sasuke showed his true colors at last. Nearly going feral with anger, he’d been stopped only by his brother in an attempt to attack the Japanese vampiric Senator of the Nightwalker Senate. Madara, explaining more of their history, also put the pieces together and declared that Sasuke had fallen quite deeply in love with the little witch, if his reaction to her being stolen away told them anything.

...Hinata wasn’t sure what to think.

But that wasn’t all Madara wanted. Backing her into a corner, he forced (under a guise of choice) Hinata to agree to work for him: to ally her budding powers to him and his own. She was given a week to think it over, during which she consulted Sasuke...but there wasn’t much to discuss.

To refuse was to be killed.

...she’s taken a few days to - rather than mull the ‘offer’ over - simply...come to terms with it. Part of her still isn’t sure about...well, anything. But though meeting Sasuke has led to this entire chain of events...she can’t bring herself to regret it. Any of it.

She knew that, eventually, there’d be no more running. Either she’d accept her oddity, or she’d succumb to it. And if nothing else...well, at least she’s finally made a true friend. Conquered her fear. And become a person she never really thought she could be.

“...ready?”

Staring up at the doors before them, Hinata turns to Sasuke. As he’s been since Madara’s revelation, he holds a carefully blank expression. She has yet to address the accusation of his being in love with her. Partly because there’s just...too much else to think about. But mostly because she really isn’t sure how she feels, given the chaos that has ensued since learning the truth. There’s been no time to sit and think about it. Consider their history, their bond, their experiences...and the feelings they all bring.

But at the very least...she knows he’s the most genuine friend she has. No one else has ever cared about her like he does...even if the birth of their bond was an odd one.

So, with a small glance to his hand, she gently reaches and takes it. Unlike all of those silly vampire stories, it isn’t cold or hard...but warm. Calloused. Maybe just a little sweaty.

It feels so...human. Even if she knows he isn’t.

But mostly it feels...familiar. Comforting. Reassuring.

It makes her feel that she can do this...so long as she doesn’t have to do it alone.

A hint of a smile curls her lips before looking up to his face. “...yeah. I think I am. Are you…?”

“...if you can do this, so can I.”

That earns a brief laugh. “And here I was t-thinking the exact opposite.”

“Some people tell me that what I do makes me brave, but...in a lot of ways, it’s what those like me have always done. But you...you’re being far braver than I’ve ever been, Hinata. You’re taking one hell of a chance with this. For someone like you to do what you’re doing...that takes far more guts. I hope you realize that.”

Her smile just softens. “...I guess so. It just feels like...w-what I’m supposed to do. And...thank you for being with me.”

“I can’t abandon you now - you wouldn’t be in this mess if not for me.”

“...no, I wouldn’t be.” Slowly, her expression warms. “...but I think...I-I think that, as much as it’s cost...it’s been worth it...ne?” Her grip on his hand tightens.

Something flashes through his eyes for the briefest of moments. “...if you say so, then...guess it’s true.”

“...come on. Let’s...get this over with.”

                                                                .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 35, 44, 52, 80, 82, 105, 115, 133, 159, 162, 188, 193, 289, 298, 307, 310, and 317!)       I am...so behind OTL And this is really late. Like...almost 20 days late. I'm just so stinkin' burnt out and busy and blegh. So lemme just apologize for like the fiftieth time about how badly this is crumbling here toward the end. Life is just really making it difficult these last few weeks. I'm sorry.      BUT, either way, I'll finish! Just...very late, ahaha~      Anyway, on to the story. A bit more of the Nightwalkers crossover. Sort of a recap kinda thing given just how LONG this one's gone on, and partly as a refresher for myself. I LOVE this accidental mini series, and have every intention of making it into a proper fic down the road, and even have the ending plotted, which is exciting! So I don't want to go TOO much further with it during the challenge. But this prompt just...insisted on being in this verse, lol      I'd...say more but I'm very tired. It's 3am and I'm a doof for being so late, but...guh. Writing is a real struggle nowadays, so hopefully y'all don't mind being patient with me ;w; Either way, that's all for now...thanks for reading!

[hidayasu]

Revamped (ch. 4)

I... have been writing... for THIRTY YEARS! D: Lol jk it just feels that way. Hey guys! Sorry about the delay! I had like three different directions I could have this story go, so I had to play around with it and decide which one I wanted. SO I finally did, so now hopefully we can get back on track! Soooo if it's riddled with mistakes I missed, I rewrote this a lot, so I apologize. OTL. Now, onward! :D

Lol, snapped a pic of Ladybug carrying someone across the city!

Aw, that's our Ladybug! So sweet and helpful!

OMG is that ADRIEN AGRESTE?!

OMG NO WAY

I THINK IT IS

They look so cute! 3

No way, she and Cat Noir are in love, didn't you see the photo? THEY'RE so cute together 3

omg did they break up?

GASP! Is Ladybug cheating on Cat Noir!?

No way!

How could she!?

Poor Cat Noir!

Adrien deserves better!

"Adrien is it true?!"

"It can't be true!"

"No way, how'd you manage it?!"

"What?" Adrien jumped from one questioner to another, flabbergasted at the sudden swarm and barrage surrounding him. "Is 'what' true?"

"You and Ladybug are an item!"

"What?!"

Alix shoved her phone in his face, where there was an unmistakable picture of Ladybug swinging through the skies of Paris, a common and accepted sight. Save for the fact that she was carrying a lean, blond male with a very signature outfit, and blond hair.

"Oh no," he groaned before he could stop himself.

"So it is true!" she pestered.

"No! No, no, we were just, uh," He grimaced as he glanced between everyone trying to wrack his brain. "She was just giving me a ride home! I was right by where the Akuma attack was and-"

As Marinette came to school, she was surprised by the crowd near the front door. It wasn't the first time she'd seen Adrien in the middle of an overexcited group of teens, but their classmates had stopped being star-struck a long time ago.

"What's going on?" She asked a distressed Alya as she approached.

Just then, nearly all the girls in her class turned with a gasp and suddenly crowded around her. "Nothing!" "Nothing's wrong!" "Nothing's happening!" "Adrien was just telling us about his-"

"No way guys," Nino spoke up suddenly, coming over to put his arm protectively around his friend. "There's no way Adrien is secretly dating Ladybug! Cuz if he was, he would've told me about it, his best bud!"

"Right, of course!" Adrien said quickly, though the agreement seemed a little haphazard.

"ADRIKINS!" Came the distraught wail as Chloe jogged up to him. "Tell me it isn't true! Tell me you're not dating Ladybug!"

"It's not true!" Adrien finally said in exasperation. "I was late for dinner and Ladybug was just giving me a lift home, that was it!"

The girls winced and looked worriedly to Marinette. And somehow mistook her worried expression for disappointment.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Chloe sighed with relief, instantly cuddling his arm, ignoring his leaning away from her. "Not that Ladybug isn't great of course, but she's not the one for you."

His grimace came back, knowing where this was going, and quickly coming up with a distraction. "Right! Because, uh, sheeeee and Cat Noir are a thing, right? Didn't they just become an item?"

Of course, so focused on Chloe, no one noticed the way Marinette grimaced. Ugh, right, that photo! The one of her and Cat Noir kissing! He'd been so eager about it, and Alya had gotten so trigger-happy with it. All her hard work of "rejecting" Cat Noir, down the drain...

...well ok, that wasn't true. Every now and then she still wound up flirting with him back, so maybe her attempts hadn't been that successful anyway.

"Ugh, she can have him if she wants," Chloe waved him off in her typical fashion before clinging onto the reluctant boy's arm. "You're the perfect one for me!"

Marinette crossed her arms. "Oh please, he's hardly "perfect"."

She hadn't realized she'd said it aloud until the shocked eyes rounded on her. Her own eyes widened, especially when she saw Adrien's stunned confusion.

"What was that?" Chloe pressed.

"I mean, uh, no one's perfect, Chloe!" Marinette said, trying to be more confident than she really felt. "And, uh, you shouldn't expect that of people!"

"Ugh, what would you know? You wouldn't know perfection if it hit you in the face," She said airily, flipping her ponytail with a flourish.

Marinette leered.

And then she smiled mischievously. "Actually, Chloe, I always thought you and Cat Noir would make a great couple."

"What?!" She wrinkled her nose in his disgust, while everyone else looked confused. Adrien looked positively alarmed. "Me and that mangy cat? Why on earth would you think that?"

But her cool, easy smile never faltered."You two brag about yourselves so much, you'll be able to keep each other entertained for hours."

Everyone burst out laughing, much to Chloe's anger, and Adrien's embarrassment. She scowled at the laughing faces, and Adrien flushed with a forced embarrassed smile. The warning bell rang, and the others dispersed, though Chloe of course couldn't leave without a threatening point to Marinette. "You'll regret this, Dupain-Cheng!"

"I seriously doubt that, Chloe."

"Hmph!" She turned up her nose before marching off to class.

"Shouldn't expect him to be perfect, huh?" Alya raised a brow as she smirked, crossing her arms. "Nice philosophy. Did you decide that in the last five minutes?"

She smiled bashfully with a helpless shrug.

"Marinette?" Came Adrien's voice, making her snap straight.

"Speaking of perfect," Alya muttered with a sly grin, before she stalked off. "See you in a bit, Marinette." She sang.

She looked after her friend longingly before turning with a nervous smile. "H-hey, Adrien!"

He seemed as nervous as she was. "Hey! So, uh," he rubbed at the back of his neck. "You like Cat Noir, huh?"

"No!" She panicked, making him blink. "I mean yes! I mean- I like him! As a hero! But it's not like I like him romantically or anything!"

"You don't?" He seemed genuinely surprised. "But I thought- er, that is, you were uuuh-"

"I did used to have a little crush on him," she said quickly, proud of herself for this brilliant turn around. "But he's in love with Ladybug, so now I'm just a fan!"

"Oh! Great! Glad to hear it." He nodded, half to himself, though he seemed mostly distracted as he fidgeted. "Soooo... do you really think he brags a lot? As bad as Chloe?"

Her lips twitched traitorously, but she managed to school her expression. "That depends. Do you really think Ladybug and Cat Noir are an item?"

He raised a brow, obviously confused as to how those two were connected. "Don't you?"

"Oh, I dunno, I mean it's just one photo," she excused quickly, turning around in pretend thought. If she faced him, she was pretty sure she'd lose her nerve. "Maybe they had another reason for kissing. Maybe Ladybug was saving him again, oooor maybe they thought they were trying to break a spell!"

Of course, not looking at him, she didn't see the sudden flash of worry. "You... think so?"

"Yeah, I mean, who can really say, right?"

He was quiet for a moment as he considered it. "Yeah, I... guess that's true. Ladybug's done it before."

"Exactly!" She agreed cheerfully, finally turning to face him. "I'm just saying, you can't believe everything you-"

She stopped. As she looked at his face, she was stunned by how... down he looked. He was clutching the strap of his bookbag, face to the ground as he hunched over.

"...though I guess they did look really happy together," she finally relented. "I mean, what do I know, I'm just a fan!"

He looked up at her in some surprise, like he had forgotten she was there, and then balked when he remembered himself. "Right, of course! We're just fans! I guess only Ladybug and Cat Noir know, right? We should head back to class."

"Oh, yeah," she smiled as she followed him quickly. "Don't wanna be late again!"

Of course, neither of them were aware of their eavesdropper. Lila watched from the shadows, her face turning into a scowl as she gripped the photograph of Ladybug in her fingers.

After that, everyone in school had forgotten about the incident, and took Adrien at his word. He thought that was the end of it.

"ADRIEN AGRESTE!" Cried the angry female akuma from the school rooftop. She was dressed in a garish mockery of a retail worker's uniform. "Where are you!?"

The students ran screaming for safety, trying to hide in some classes and rooms nearby. Adrien was trying to head for the locker room, but he was spotted, and the female akuma dropped down to block his path.

"I don't understand," he said. "What'd I do to you?"

"Nothing, I just know that you're my ticket to Ladybug, Loverboy," she sashayed toward him. "It's nothing personal."

"Uh," He grinned nervously as he tiptoed back. "I would just like it to be known that that photo was taken out of context, and we're not actually-"

"SILENCE!" She shouted, holding up her weapon- a rather formidable looking… coat hanger? Either way it started glowing and he had a feeling he wouldn't like getting hit with it. "I don't care what the rumors say- all I know is that you're enough to make her come running."

There was no where to run, and no where to hide, and as he braced himself for the attack, he silently cursed his need for haste yesterday.

"WATCH OUT!"

And then he was suddenly yanked away, Ladybug's yo-yo wrapping around his waist to pull him toward her.

"HA! I knew it." The akuma sneered. "Attacking your precious lad in distress was the perfect way to bring you straight to me!"

She scowled, holding him protectively close as she rebutted the claim. "Ugh, I'm going to rescue anyone in distress, not just him!"

And while normally Adrien would be thrilled at the close contact, the sight of the smug akuma, and the students peeking through the windows with their phones out, made him clear his throat. "Uh, Ladybug?" He smiled shyly with a blush, pointing to their touching waists.

She blinked at him, then her protective hold, and released him with a squeak, activating her yo-yo. "Sorry!"

"No problem! Uh, thanks Ladybug!" Adrien saluted obligatorily before dashing for cover to transform and join her.

Thankfully, the battle itself was not a difficult one. Cat Noir didn't even need his Cataclysm. The day passed by relatively quickly, leaving the students to finish up their classes and head home. And in Adrien's case, head to fencing.

"Hey, Kagami!" He greeted cheerfully.

"Hey," she nodded once in acknowledgment, then readied her stance. He hesitated a moment, curious.

"Sooooo you're not going to ask me about the picture?" He asked cautiously.

"Do I need to?" She asked sharply.

"No! No, no, it's nothing like people are saying," He assured quickly.

"Then there's nothing to worry about. I'm not going to worry about some suspicious pictures anymore. I already know where your affections lie."

He was grateful for the fencing helmet to hide his blush. Because it was true, he had been developing a crush on her lately. Granted he was still falling for Ladybug over and over, but... if Marinette's point was right, then maybe he really should give up on-

"En garde!"

Her warning snapped him out of it, and he readied his stance. He could think about it later, but for now, he had to try to beat her again.

"Would you care to explain this?"

Adrien had a feeling word of this would come back to his father. So this time, as the man held up his own phone with the incriminating picture, he was prepared.

"Father, that's not me! It's just an excited fan dressed up like me."

"Oh really?"

"My face isn't visible, is it?" He crossed his arms. "Besides, Nathalie saw me before I came down for dinner. I was in my room the whole time."

He glanced at his assistant for confirmation, and she nodded.

"It's true, sir. He was already in there, and there was no sign of Ladybug."

The man studied the boy hard, looked at the photo again, then relented. "Very well, you may go."

Adrien smiled, quite pleased with himself as he made his way back to his room. Today just had a quick battle, a quick evasion, so all was well and good.

But needless to say, things got a little… hectic after that. And not just from akumas.

It happened Tuesday, after the battle when the reporters had to get their 'scoop'…

"LADYBUG! How could you cheat on Cat Noir!"

"Uuugh, I'm not cheating on him! I'm not dating either of them!"

"Can confirm. On both ends."

Wednesday, when there were three akumas in the same day...

"Now that I have super powers, I can be good enough for Adrien!"

"Trust me, with your super powers, you can do so much better."

"Hey!"

Thursday, when they got a nice combo of one of her fanboys, and one of Cat Noir's fangirls…

"I'll take the Miraculouses, then we'll be together forever!"

"An eternity of corny pick up lines and bad jokes? Be my guest."

"For the record, I know you're teasing me, but I'll still stand by the fact that my jokes are hilarious."

And Friday, when it felt like everything was piling up bit by bit.

Lila stared at her phone, teeth clenching harder and harder as the newest news clips came out. Image after image of Ladybug valiantly protecting Adrien only fueled the fans of the assumption of their "secret relationship", giving her plenty of fodder for rumors, which she had been taking. To no avail.

"Why? Why can none of these idiots take out Ladybug?" She ranted. "What else do I have to say?"

She jumped onto her computer, looking up more articles and forums, trying to make as many comments about "secret dates" and "outings" and possible.

'Come on, come on, someone take care of her!'

Because no matter how Adrien tried to deny it, Lila knew the truth.

"Why?! Why isn't Hawkmoth akumatizing me?!" She chucked her phone across her room, and stomped about in rage. Picking up the photograph from her desk, she glowered at the smiling, swinging image of Ladybug, gripping so hard it crinkled in her fingers.

"Just as I planned, her anger is growing with each passing day I "ignore" her." Hawkmoth mused as he sensed her rage tumbling through. "But not yet. Her work in helping spread the rumors is giving me plenty of ammunition to wear them down. And then she'll be ready to be my perfect puppet."

He held out his hand, letting a butterfly land in his glove. He akumatized it, and let it flutter out the window. "Fly away my little akuma, and evilize him!"

Ladybug dropped between a couple buildings, trying to catch her breath against the wall after the latest battle. Cat Noir transformed back first, having to use his power a lot sooner than her. Plagg took the time to zip out and groan in annoyance. "Man, that's the 10th one this week! It's nice being popular with the ladies, but this is ridiculous!"

"If it wasn't for people taking all these pictures it wouldn't be happening so much!" Ladybug groaned in exasperation. "It's not like I'm saving you any different from normal."

"Normally, I might be disappointed, but this time I have to agree. I mean:" He had given Plagg a piece of cheese, then pulled out his phone to pull up the latest "craze". "This one isn't even remotely flattering!"

It had been a picture where Ladybug had just barely caught Adrien mid-fall by the ankle, leaving him swinging precariously in mid-air, and screaming bloody murder. Clearly, the affection was palpable.

"Honestly, I'm gonna need my PR people to get on the ball soon," He mused. "My nose looks way too big in this one."

"This is getting out of hand." Ladybug groaned with her head in her hand. "You've got to go on TV and tell people they're wrong."

"I've been trying! But the more I try to deny it, the more people think I'm trying to hide it!"

"Well there's gotta be some way to stop all these akumatizations." She murmured as she grasped her chin in thought.

He watched her a moment, brow furrowing in worry, before he quickly schooled it to be casual. "Well, what if we pretended we're dating? I mean as Cat Noir!" He said quickly. "Like we did before for the other akumas."

She looked at him sharply, but he searched her face to decipher her reaction, hand at his neck. She seemed less-than-thrilled at the idea, though turned her face away so he wouldn't see. "I-I don't know, wouldn't that be hard for you to-?"

Then the akuma found them, and burst in with a mighty roar, making Plagg have to hide.

"Another one?!" Ladybug complained. "It hasn't even been five minutes!"

"LADYBUG!" He cried angrily. He was a massive, muscular boy with a wrestler's yellow uniform blindingly bright against his purple skin. There were stripped braces on his wrists and calves, with an orange armored helmet, but besides that had nothing else to shield him. "Why, why do you love him? What does that weakling have that I don't?!"

"Oh, one of your fans again," Adrien realized brightly, hands on his hips. "I gotta say this is a nice change of pace."

"Silence, girly boy! You don't have what it takes to make Ladybug happy!"

Both Adrien and Ladybug glared.

And then Adrien sneered. "Well, better a "girly boy" than a toy store reject." He said easily, leaning to one side. "With a paint job like that I'd say a 2 year old could do better."

"Ca- Adrien!" Ladybug snapped, just before she had to dive to snatch him out of harm's way. "Are you insane? Don't antagonize him like this!"

The boy didn't even have the decency to look fazed, simply shrugging as she held him in her arms. "What? He asked," he defended. "Besides, you can't expect me not to feel a little jealous of anyone after you."

Of course, neither of them were aware of Hawkmoth on the other side of the psychic link. "What?!"

"Oh, go "hide" already," Ladybug spat as she dropped him, whirling her yo-yo to life.

"Oh no you don't!" the wrestler shouted. "Come fight me face to face!"

"No!" Hawkmoth interrupted. "Not until you've faced Cat Noir and Ladybug and given me their miraculouses!"

"Hmph, go ahead, girly boy!" the akuma yelled after Adrien as he darted around a building. "Go run an' hide! While I show Ladybug what a real man I am!"

"Real man, huh?" Adrien opened up his shirt to let Plagg out again. "Why don't we go show this guy what a real man can do. Plagg, CLAWS OUT!"

Once fully powered up in his own armor, he came out into the fray, happily jumping in to take a few swipes at the technicolor wrestler.

"Nice moves, Cat Noir." Ladybug praised. "Think you can hold him back for a while?"

"No problem. You just go recharge yourself," he assured with a wink.

"Don't let her get away!" Hawkmoth demanded. "She's about to transform back!"

But of course, the akuma's attempt to go after her was thwarted by Cat Noir jumping between them.

"Ah, ah, ah," he wagged his finger, whirring his pole around himself dangerously before striking a defensive pose. "You'll have to go through me first."

Ladybug dashed around a building, letting herself detransform. "Hurry, Tikki," she whispered, pulling out the cookie. "There's not much time!"

"I don't know how much more I can do this, Marinette," Tikki admitted weakly as she got to eating the macaroon.

"Hang in there just a little longer!"

Cat Noir was quick and agile compared the big, hulking muscle man. His strikes were fast and fierce, and he kept his pole close to his body to keep his control. For once, he was focusing hard on the fight. So much so that he didn't even hear Ladybug when she finally jumped beside him, yo-yo at the ready.

"Alright, I'm ready to-"

He let out a battle-cry and charged at his enemy, going low to try to knock him flat. Ladybug blinked, before chasing after him and trying to join in.

"No, Ladybug, stay back!" Cat Noir grunted. He was on the ground, on top of the wrestler as they pushed against his pole to try to beat the other in brute strength. "I'll handle him!"

"Ha! You don't have what it takes! How'd a puny boy like you get to be the hero of Paris?"

"My charm and sense of humor, of course. You should try it some time- it might make you more tolerable!"

The wrestler managed to switch positions, rolling on top and trying to shove the pole into his throat. "I deserve the miraculous! Ladybug needs a real partner!"

"I'm her partner!"

Ladybug, for her part, let her yo-yo stop its spin. Narrowing her eyes and letting her scowl deepen, she straightened her stance and crossed her arms. She had a feeling of where this was going, and she didn't like it one bit.

"You know what they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall!"

Cat Noir finally kicked out the wrestler's leg, flipping him over and jumping back to his feet. He went on the attack again, the wrestler using his braces to block his moves, and of course throw a few punches, with Cat Noir leaping out of range. They advanced and retreated in an angered dance of showmanship, sparring verbally as well as physically.

"Not bad for a weakling, puny man!"

"You're delusional if you think a muscle-head like you has a chance with Ladybug. I'll take you out using brains as well as brawn."

"Hmph, I'll show you and that girly boy! A real warrior is full of strength and power, nothing like your skinny little-"

"Will you two knock it off!?" Ladybug finally snapped, and the pair paused in their fighting. "Did neither of you think that maybe I don't care who's stronger?"

The blinked, and they stared from her, to one another, back to her.

"What are you doing?!" Hawkmoth demanded. "Get his miraculous!"

"You… don't?" Cat Noir asked in confusion.

"No! I'm a superhero for crying out loud!" She said. "I can save myself just fine! I don't need a knight in shining armor to impress me!"

"Then…" the akuma victim lowered his hands in confusion. "What do you need to impress you?"

She glanced to Cat Noir, then sighed as she looked to her clasped hands. "The boy I love is… kind, and sweet. He's helpful to people, and always has a smile for everyone, and it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I don't love him because I think he can "save me", I love him because he's kind to me."

"I can be kind," the wrestler said instantly. "I'm a nice guy!"

"You've been fighting me and Cat Noir to take our Miraculouses and help Hawkmoth. How is that "kind"?"

"She's right," Cat Noir sighed in mock sympathy with a shrug. "Helping the supervillain doesn't usually give you points in the "nice guy" department."

"Don't think you're free from this either, Cat Noir," Ladybug frowned at him, jabbing at his chest. "If we'd been working together instead of you fighting over your ego, we could have gotten his akuma already!"

He flinched, then lowered his head, properly chastised.

Ladybug hadn't really been sure what to expect, but it wasn't the akuma victim willingly handing over his arm brace.

"What?! What're you doing?!" Hawkmoth yelled.

Ladybug smiled up at him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're doing the right thing."

"I guess it's too late to ask you for a date, then."

"Sorry, but I'm in love with someone else," she said sympathetically, taking the brace and dropping it to the ground and stomping on it.

She captured and purified the butterfly, but since the akuma hadn't actually been doing anything but trying to fight Cat Noir, there wasn't any damage to fix.

"Uuuuuugh, ah..." the akumatized victim groaned as he looked around. He was obviously much smaller than his villainous form, though still tall and muscular. With his young face it was clear he was only a couple years older than the heroes. "Ladybug? Cat Noir?!"

"Hey there," Ladybug smiled kindly, ignoring the way Cat Noir wrinkled his nose in distaste. "You feeling alright?"

"Uh, yeah," He shot up to his feet, cheeks pink. "I-I'm great, but what am I…?"

"You were akumatized by Hawkmoth."

"What?! No, that's impossible! I'm not evil!"

"I know, it's Hawkmoth that's evil. He gets into your head and makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. Just be careful from now on."

"I will. I promise I'm stronger than that," he assured, flexing for her.

Cat Noir snorted, and Ladybug sighed. Right, since he was akumatized, he wouldn't remember her "speech".

"Do you need a lift?" She asked instead.

Taken aback by her lack of response, he glanced around the area to get his bearings back, and he smiled in embarrassment as he rubbed at the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, actually."

"Sure thing," she threw her yo-yo to catch a perch, and held out her arm.

He looked at her, then balked. "You mean, you want to carry me?"

"Don't worry," she waved off his concern. "I'm much stronger than I look."

He still seemed uncertain, and Ladybug couldn't understand why he seemed hesitant, knowing that she was, well, a superhero.

"Ah, on second thought, I'll be fine walking after all."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind."

"It's not that far, actually."

Cat Noir, who knew instantly what was going on, was leaning on his cane with a slyly amused smirk, before he looked at his hand, and gasped.

"Oh no, I'm about to transform back!" He stole the opened spot, hopping into her arms and holding on with the arm not holding his staff. "Quick Ladybug, you've got to get me out of here!"

"Honestly, Cat Noir, again?" She chastised. "You've got to be more responsible. Sorry," She said to the former victim. "Maybe next time."

Of course, since she was looking at him, she didn't see the way Cat Noir leaned his head toward her to look like he was "cuddling" her, or the way he waved farewell with a smug grin before she pulled them away. She brought them to drop behind a building, and was about to let him down before she blinked, memories rushing back to her.

"Hey wait a second, you're not about to transform back. You didn't even use your Cataclysm."

"I know. I just had to show the guy what he was missing."

"Cat Noir!"

"Look, I already knew he wasn't going to do it. He can't be seen being carried by you, it would ruin his image."

"Oh, but not yours?"

"Of course not. Everyone knows I am still the greatest hero of Paris."

She let him drop with a yelp, dusting her hands off and planting them on her hips as she waited for him to stand. "Well, the greatest hero of Paris can go ahead and walk himself back, then."

"Aw, c'mon, bugaboo, I was only joking. You know I think you're the number one hero of Paris," he cooed, leaning sideways to look up at her from under his lashes. Blink blink blink.

"Hmph. Sweet words from someone who wanted to fight all by himself. And haven't I told you not to call me 'bugaboo' anymore?"

He straightened, rubbing at the back of his head worriedly. "Right, sorry, it slipped."

"Just keep it in mind," she said easily, throwing her yo-yo to catch a perch.

"W-wait, Ladybug!" He twisted his pole self-consciously. "Do you… think I brag a lot?"

She blinked.

He darted his eyes away, fidgeting nervously. "It's just a thought I had, lately, for no reason, I just wondered-"

"You mean you hadn't noticed?"

He stared.

"I thought it was just a part of your act as Cat Noir," she stated in incredulity, before pointing at him. "You mean you were serious all those times?"

He hedged and erred, forcing himself to laugh it off. "Act, right! It was! I-I was just worried it was a little too much, you know? I mean I don't want to come off as too annoying."

She facepalmed.

He looked at her worriedly.

She sighed. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to it with you."And then she was gone, flying off to her destination.

"W-Wait! What do you mean "used to it"?" He called after her. "Ladybug? Ladybug!"

He had enough time to leap back to the school, and hid between the buildings across the street before turning back. Plagg zipped around, groaning hungrily, but Adrien ignored it.

"Does she think I'm annoying? Is that why she doesn't like me?"

"She said she's used to it, what's the big deal?"

"The "big deal" is that I probably messed up my chance with Ladybug! What if all those times I was trying to impress her did just the opposite?!"

"Then just stop bragging around her, problem fixed."

"It's not that easy, Plagg. Even if I do, I don't know how to actually win her over after all this time."

"Dude, just be yourself. You're like, the nicest guy I know! She'll go nuts for that."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that while we're busy saving Paris? Besides..." He almost looked as though he were going to continue, and then the wind whooshed out of him with a long, drawn out sigh. "You heard her. She's already found someone. They're probably already happy together."

His disappointed musings were cut short when a familiar car rolled up to the front of the school. "C'mon, Plagg. Let's go home." He opened his outer shirt up to let him in, and trudged across the street.

When Marinette got in her room, she was distraught. Tikki sighed, plopping down on her bed tiredly.

"Tikki, am I doing the right thing?"

"About what, Marinette?"

"About trying to get Adrien to fall for me! Tikki, what if I came out and confessed to him? Would people react the same way? Would there be akumas, this time coming after me?"

"That's hard to say," she admitted. "Some of these akumas are happening because of Ladybug and Cat Noir. They probably wouldn't care so much about "Marinette".

"But what if they do!?" She wailed. "What if I get hordes of crazy fans coming after me everywhere I go, and all our dates are hounded by the press and even more crazed fans destroy any chances we have at private time together and Adrien decides it's not worth the effort and dumps me and-"

"Marinette, calm down!" Tikki flew into her face to get her attention. "You're worrying too much! It's not going to be as bad as you think."

"...But if I am targeted, that means Chat Noir would have to face them on his own. And I'd have to keep switching between myself and "Ladybug" and I could mess up somehow. I mean, he almost discovered my identity already! If I have to keep changing, things could slip up for sure!"

"You're right, it is a risky plan," Tikki agreed sympathetically. "More than anything, I think other people would start to get suspicious too."

"Tikki, does this mean I… I can't be with him? Not until Hawkmoth's gone?"

"You could still accept his feelings as Ladybug."

"But I want real dates, Tikki! I want us to go to the movies together, go to concerts, and go out for ice cream, and be able to go on romantic outings! We can't do that as superheroes!"

"You're right, you have to do what's best for Paris. But even if you can't go out like you wanted, are you really ok with him never knowing how you really feel?" Tikki asked pointedly. "It's your choice, Marinette. But I think you'll be happier at least letting him know."

Marinette was silent as she looked at her phone, where the smiling face of her love stared brightly up at her. A hero listened to her head, not her heart. The question was, what was the right choice when even your head was a mess?

A few miles away, someone else was wondering the same thing. He was staring solemnly out his car window with a growing ache of disappointment.

I don't love him because I think he can "save me". I love him because he's kind to me.

It just didn't make sense to him. She was brave, and confident, practically a genius in her own creative way, and she just wanted someone "nice"?

Nah, this guy, whoever he was, had to be the most perfect guy on the planet. From the sounds of it he was friendly, kind, and ridiculously handsome, even moreso than him. Not in a "vain" way, but come on, he was a literal model, and she was saying some other guy's smile was the most beautiful thing in the world. And he was helpful and "sweet" on top of everything else. Honestly, how was he ever going to compete with that? He'd love to try to be "kind" and "helpful" to win her over, it wasn't like he didn't know how. The only way would be if they went out somewhere, just to hang out or something. But she never agreed to it every time he tried. More than anything, he really wanted to meet this guy for himself. Who the heck was perfect enough to catch the eye of Ladybug?

He bumped his head against the window, brows crinkling as his jealousy stirred again. This guy sounded too good to be true. Adrien hoped he was secretly a jerk or something.

But even if he was, there was… really no point, was there?

Sorry. But I'm in love with someone else.

Marinette was right. Ladybug hadn't fallen in love with him after all. Maybe it was time he finally switched targets. For good this time.

When they came through the door, he had prepared himself to trudge up the stairs to get started on his homework, but was surprised at Nathalie's voice speaking to him from the door.

"Adrien, your father wishes to see you."

He blinked, wondering why he was breaking his schedule. He knew for a fact that the man was normally finalizing his themes for the upcoming lines around this hour. Yet he followed her into the man's office, looking at his father's back. The man was staring up at the golden painting of his mother.

"Is it true?" He asked. "Are you in love with Ladybug?"

Adrien sighed. He'd gone through this all week already, and it was starting to wear on him. Plus, he thought the man was convinced by now. He let his head drop as he forced himself to speak. "No, father. She's just been protecting me from all the akuma attacks. There's nothing between us."

"I didn't ask if there was anything between you," He said suddenly, curtly as he turned to look at him over his shoulder. "I asked if you are in love with Ladybug."

Adrien flinched, both from the question, and the steely tone from the man. It was nothing like the excited barrages all through the week. Those eyes that bore down on him weren't like anything he'd ever seen before on him. And for a weird, strange moment, he felt scared. Not in his usual "respect" of his father's authority, but an honest to goodness fear of the consequences of his answer.

But the fear was pointless, worthless, and he dropped his gaze. "No, Father. Now can I please go?" He asked, voice cracking as he held himself together.

"...Very well. You may go," He said briskly.

The boy gratefully beat a hasty retreat, and the door shut with finality behind him. Nathalie looked up at Gabriel.

"What do you plan to do, sir?"

"Hard to say. I cannot have him admit to anything without revealing who I am."

"And if it's true?"

The silence was heavy, so much so that even Nathalie was worried.

"… This changes nothing. The plan is still the same. Tomorrow, we'll begin."

"We should break up."

Chat Noir, who had just told her that he didn't have much time since his father wanted him for some kind of appearance, stared at her. "...What?"

"With you as "Adrien"." Ladybug explained. "No one believes we aren't a thing. So go on TV, and say that we were secretly dating, but now all the akuma attacks have made you decide dating a superhero is too dangerous. We can't have people talking about us like this if it's causing this much commotion."

She expected his hesitation from her suggestion, and an argument, of course, and was already bracing herself for his rebuttal.

"Uuuum, isn't there something else we could try?"

"Look, Cat Noir, I know this will be hard with your feelings for me, but if we can just convince people that we're not involved, then-"

"It's not that!" He said quickly. "I know we have to do something. I just don't want to say that we've already been dating, since… Well..." He seemed oddly hesitant, nervous, and uncomfortable in a way Ladybug couldn't ever remember seeing him. "I may… want to ask someone out soon, and it would look pretty bad if I said I had just been dating someone."

Ladybug blinked, wide-eyed. "...What?"

"You remember Kagami, right?" He said, cheeks turning a little pink. "She's actually my fencing partner. We've been hanging out for a while. She's pretty cool, and… she told me recently she's fallen for me, so lately I've been thinking that maybe… we should… give it a try?"

He was looking at her, almost… Nervously? Or was it hopefully? Ladybug couldn't be sure, she was too busy trying and failing to make her mouth shut.

"Ladybug?"

"Oh, wow Cat Noir, I had no idea!" She managed to say instead, forcing herself to smile. "Congratulations! But wow I'm sure surprised, I mean… Kagami just seems so, you know, serious! I-I didn't think she was your type!"

"Yeah, but she can be pretty cool at times," He said, and there was an oddly… sad glint to his smile. "She's actually nice once you get to know her. And she's strong, too. She could probably even give you a run for your money," he joked.

But then he fell silent, looking down at his hands on top of his pole. Ladybug did the same, trying to filter through the emotions suddenly tumbling through her.

'He's… he's giving up on me. I mean on Ladybug, and going for...'

"Wasn't…. there someone else?" She asked in a small voice. And she wanted to kick herself, but the words just wouldn't stop, because she had to know, she had to hear for herself. "That- that girl who tried to have a date with you. Maribell or something? She- she said something when I rescued her, and..."

"Marinette? She told you about that?" He winced, rubbing at the back of his head. "Ah, yeah, that was tough. I'm glad she feels better about it now. But she's just a friend. I couldn't ever really see her like that."

She pressed her lips together, and her hands wouldn't stop shaking. "Oh..."

"Don't get me wrong, she's really nice!" Ever the nice guy, he was quick to praise and speak well of her. "She's super helpful, and talented! I'm glad to have her as a friend. But we've barely had a real conversation," he finally admitted with a half-shrug that said 'oh well, that's life'. "She's super shy, and so nervous all the time. I try to help when I can, but I think she just flusters so easy it's hard to really get to know her, you know? I kinda worry about her sometimes..."

And as she looked at him, her cheeks grew red until she finally buried her face in her hands. Ugh, she knew it! She knew he couldn't possibly fall in love with her stupid, clumsy self! Not only was her crush getting in the way, but her fear of him "realizing" who she really was just made her more nervous, which made their interactions… well, just as he described. No wonder he never fell for her.

"Ladybug? Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine!" She assured, smiling up at him weakly. "I'm really glad! You finally have a chance to be happy!I'm sure you and Kagami will be great together!"

She could see his face falling, his expressions an open book, as always. But he was quick to smile back, and he reached for her hand. "I'm always happy whenever I'm with you, milady," he assured, bringing her hand to his lips. "You'll always have a special place in my heart."

His attention on her hand, he didn't see the pain on her face, or the longing in her eyes. Only the saddened smile. "...I know, Cat Noir." Then she pulled her hand back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Of course," he said. Then stepped back to bow low. "Until next time."

And then he was gone, already vanished into the night. She stood under the moonlight, gazing longingly up at the stars.

"This is what's best for Paris… isn't it?"

"Marinette! Why didn't you tell him?!"

"You heard him, Tikki. He's already going for Kagami."

"The only reason he's going for Kagami is because he thinks he doesn't know you! But he does!"

"But I can't tell him that! AAAAAAAGH, TIKKI THIS IS THE WORST!" She fell to her knees, grabbing at her head as she cried to the ceiling. "I know he's in love with me but I can't tell him why!"

"Listen to me, Marinette!" She zipped in front of her face, gesturing and flitting about wildly as she ranted. "Hawkmoth is still out there, and your number one priority is stopping him and all these akumas! But that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your happiness to do it! You can't tell Adrien who you are, but you can still tell him you love him! Even if he can only see a part of you right now, isn't it worth it to be with him, even if it's only to save Paris?"

Marinette looked up at the energetic and emotional kwami, smiling slowly as she started bringing the pieces into place. "You're right… you're right, Tikki! We can still be together!"

"Yes!" The kwami cheered. "Now you have to go to him, tonight, before he talks to Kagami!"

"Tikki, SPOTS-!"

"WAIT! … I'm still hungry."

"Oh, sorry."

A few minutes of eating, and then a transformation later, Marinette was bolting down the rooftops of Paris, sailing and leaping for her destination. Time and time again she had failed to tell Adrien the truth of how she felt, and her clumsy nature and terrible luck just spawned her at every turn. But would it be different as Ladybug? Would she have the confidence and the luck to finally get her feelings across to him?

She stopped outside his house, ducking down to peer over the edge of the roof. Outside his gate was a swarm of reporters and cameras hounding him, and his assistant holding up her tablet device.

"What's going on?" Ladybug wondered out loud, before memory served her, and she answered her own question. "Oh, that's right! Cat Noir said his dad had something planned."

Of course, this far away, she couldn't hear what was being said, so she pulled out her yo-yo and activated the screen.

"Don't be bemused, it's just the news. I'm Nadia Chamack, right outside Gabriel Agreste's mansion, where he's called a press conference in light of the recent events centering around his son, Adrien."

The camera zoomed in on the pair, Adrien of course appearing taller next to his father on the video call screen. Adrien smiled at the cameras obligatorily, though seemed just as in the dark as the rest.

"My son has been the center of many rumors lately, which I would appreciate to cease immediately, given the danger it keeps putting him in. I cannot bare to see him in such a position. That being said, I am eternally indebted to Ladybug and Cat Noir for protecting him from the onslaught of Akuma attacks recently. As a token of appreciation, I'd like to invite them both to dinner to the establishment of their choice."

Ladybug gasped, eyes honed in on both the older man, and his young son, who looked to with equal surprise. "A… dinner?"

Down below, in the center of the hubbub, Adrien's surprise made way for disappointment. "Father, you're wasting your time. Ladybug never accepts these invitations, you know that."

"I do," the man assured. "But so long as the sentiment is out there, I'm sure the message will get across."

He raised a brow, a little confused as to how that worked, until a surprised shout from the reporters got his attention. The sea of paparazzi parted before them, showing a familiar red-clad superheroine rising from her three-point landing, and making her way toward them.

Adrien gaped. "Ladybug?"

"Gabriel Agreste," she acknowledged, her lips curling into a smirk. "I accept your invitation."

[goodnightkisseu]

Ong Seongwu - Heat {M}

Requested By: Anonnie~ ( “ can i request a vampire seongwoo thirsting for you and your blood? please make it smut hihi ”)

Genre: Smut

Note: So it’s been a good while since I last wrote something with mature content in it, but with some nudging, I finally did it >///< Hopefully this is okay seeing how long it’s been OTL Also, given that Halloween is next week, what better a time than to post some vampire!ong? I also tried to edit the eyes in the gif below but you can’t see it very well ;;

Again, this does have mature content so read at your own discretion. I do hope that anyone that reads this enjoys it though >< As always, feel free to let me know what you think :3 Enjoy~

[ Masterlist ] [ Upcoming Stories ]

- goodnightkisseu’s admin / ashley <3

A short gasp left your lips as your back hit the cold wall in the apartment building’s stairwell. A pair of lips locked onto yours, the power behind the kiss making you whimper at the delicious contact. In your cloudy state you probably would have let things transpire right there, but the part of your mind that was still lucid enough knew that it was a terrible idea. It pushed through the cloud of lust and nudged your partner off you as you started at a quick pace up the stairs, the handsome male following at your heels. This happened every time the two of you worked the same shifts. But you had to admit, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You worked with Seongwu at a night club in Seoul, one that was pretty exclusive and hard to find. Sometimes you wondered how you found your way there, what sequence of events transpired for you to land such a job, but the pay was good and the clientele were better than at previous establishments you had worked at. The two of you had met on your first day of work over a year ago and to say that there was an instant connection between you two would have been an understatement. You clicked with each other immediately. Seongwu was someone that you were comfortable with right away. He was easy to talk to, kind, helpful, and handsome. So the flirting started up pretty fast, and it didn’t take long for flirting to turn into something more. Pretty soon the two of you were staying after hours to talk. Talking became dinner, and then about a month later the two of you were already locking lips and lightly touching. Your relationship moved fast, far faster than you normally would have liked, but it didn’t feel l like a fling. It didn’t feel like the fire would burn out. Rather, it was just that the pace was fast.

Your budding relationship did cause your manager to split the two of you up on shifts however. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the two of you working together, because truth be told, when the two of you worked the same shift, you’d often make the most money of the night. Clientele either came for your pretty faces, or they came to enjoy the tension between the two of you. Still, your manager wanted to keep the workplace as professional as he could. However, even he couldn’t control when another employee needed a day or two off. So he just warned you both to keep it classy while you were working.

And you did… usually.

Being professional didn’t mean that the two of you couldn’t have a bit of fun while you were at work, and Seongwu, oh, Seongwu was particularly good at it. He was the definition of a tease while you were at work. In his quest for a particular bottle of liqueur he would brush past you, trying to get your attention. If that didn’t work he would make sure that his hand would gently brush past your waist as he was reaching for something. And if all of this failed, he would resort to more obvious things, like, purposefully flirthing with the female clientele when he knew that you were watching.

Granted, two could play at this game and you weren’t one to lose. If he would brush past you, you would sometimes lean into him as you were reaching for something, bringing your full body in contact with his. If he would flirt with the female clientele, you would flirt with any clientele in front of you, and sometimes, sometimes you’d even let them do body shots off you to really rile up your boyfriend.

Still, even with how over the top you went with things, what always got to you was his flirting. It normally didn’t bother you. You knew that it was even part of the job at times. But there were days when, his attention towards other women would make you feel a bit unappreciated. You’d want the same kind of attention, and you knew that he could see right through your indifferent façade. It couldn’t be helped that you worried sometimes, no matter how secure you thought you were. After all, you knew why he was so desirable to other women, and it wasn’t just his naturally good looks.

Seongwu wasn’t just blessed with naturally good looks. There was something else in him, his supernatural aura, his vampire aura, which really attracted women to him. You had learned pretty early on that it was probably what drew you to him, just like it drew all the other girls in, like moths to a flame. Upon learning of his unhuman abilities, you were a bit afraid, but you were still okay. You knew that you liked him enough to stick around, but there were times that you couldn’t help but wonder if, falling so fast for him was part of his plan. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was playing with you. Yet, Seongwu, knowing that these thoughts plagued your mind for the first couple months of your relationship, was very adamant on reassuring you that this wasn’t the case at all. He told you that he really did like you, that he cared for you, and given the fact that he was a 120 years old now, it was a little surprising.

Still, he never did anything to make you doubt him, and if anything, he made a huge effort to get to know you better. And now, he probably knew you better than anyone else. He could tell when you faltered, when you were feeling a little insecure, and he was always ready to make it up to you. It was a strange thought. Someone that had lived for so long, that could have anyone they so desired, would bend over backwards to make sure that you didn’t leave his side. You appreciated it though, and it made you love him more.

Tonight was no different. When he realized that you were a bit off, he asked you about it while the two of you were closing up. He coaxed the reason out of you, and though you were reluctant to say it, as you knew it meant he won your little game, you admitted that you were jealous. He reassured you that you shouldn’t be, but he also couldn’t help but smirk. He knew what it meant when you were jealous, and he knew that you would be exceptionally needy tonight. And that he was looking forward to.

So it was no surprise when, after you had put the till away, that Seongwu wrapped you up in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as his lips trailed along your neck. Things got heated in that moment and the two of you started making out behind the bar at the club. It took every fiber of your being to lead Seongwu out of there and back to his place before continuing with your night. After all, you still wanted to have a job tomorrow. And here you were, finally at his apartment door after your trip up the stairs took a little longer than expected. He had you sandwiched between the door and himself while he fumbled with the key. You were okay with this of course, as it allowed you ample access to your boyfriend. You were already working at the top buttons of his shirt, lips biting and sucking at his exposed skin. You wanted to see him lose it too, because truth be told, it didn’t happen too often.

Seongwu was already having a hard time with the door, and your distractions weren’t helping. He just wanted to revel in your kisses and bites, in the way that you made soft sounds while you explored every square inch of his chest. If he wasn’t in his right mind he probably would have taken you right there, but he knew better than that, and he knew he probably would have been kicked out of this really nice building if he did something like that. It took him a long time to find a place that didn’t ask a lot of questions, so he didn’t want to get booted any time soon.

By an utter miracle, Seongwu somehow managed to get the door open, and in the swiftest motion ever, he pulled you inside, slammed the door shut, and pinned you against it with your arms above your head. You mewled softly as you looked up at him with wanting eyes, his own scanning yours before landing on your swollen lips which had more than enough fun leaving bites and marks all over his chest. Speaking off, his chest and entire upper body were now on full display, your hands, somehow, managing to undo all of the buttons on his shirt while he was messing with the door.  You were a little naughty today, and that just excited him even more.

He hovered over your smaller form, lips close to your ears, a low growl leaving his lips in warning. “Don’t do that again. I almost lost control out there. Did you want people to see us?” he mused, knowing that, for reasons, when he spoke to you like this, it always riled you up.

It took every fiber of your being to not just moan at the sound of his voice. “No, but isn’t it more fun with the danger of getting caught?” you countered, your response causing your lover to loosen his grip on your wrist just enough that you managed to slip out of his hold, dusking under his arm, and watching as he turned around to find you again. Your hands played with the hem of your shirt as you looked over in his direction between they managed to pull it off, throwing it in his direction. The two of you stood there in silence for about ten seconds, just staring at each other before you decided to book it down the hallway and towards the bedroom.

It didn’t take Seongwu long to catch up with you, it never did. He was always able to quickly match your pace and once he did, the two of you started fumbling along the long hallway, clothes being thrown left and right as the two of you connected at brief moments to shard heated kisses. You never strayed from your destination, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t stop along the way. Just as you had now with Seongwu managing to pin you with your face to the wall.

“You’re really testing me today, love,” he whispered in your ear, one of his hands reaching up to caress your left breast while the other worked its way between your legs. He gently rubbed at your inner thigh at first, his hot breath at your neck, but that was all too much for you it seemed as you squirmed under his touch. Smirking to himself at your impatience, he brought his hand further up, his fingers gliding along your folds, even more please with himself at how wet you were already. “Someone is excited,” he stated, his voice low as his fingers played with your bundle of nerves while he nibbled on your ear. He knew this always sent you over the top, but he wanted you wound up, needy for him. Maybe it was because, he needed it too.

Seongwu always seemed to know what to do to make you into a mess. The fingers on his left hand were gently tweaking your nipple while his other fingers found their way between your lower lips and two of them found their way into your womanhood, another moan easily slipping off your lips. His pace was slow at first, but you could feel him moving them fast, his hot breath against your ear, and it was honestly all too much. You were oh so very close… and then he stopped. You made a small noise but Seongwu only chuckled before he started moving his fingers again, his hard member rubbing against your lower back. You felt yourself getting close again, you were so close to achieving your release, but he pulled away completely, your weak form barely able to hold itself up. A discontent sound left your lips, not liking that you had been denied your release twice as you turned to look at the male that you called your love. You hated when he teased you like this, but you knew he did it to get you riled up… and it worked every time.

“Not yet, princess. We have to save it for the main event,” he said with a smirk, before disappearing into the bedroom, leaving you to chase after him this time. And of course you knew exactly where to find him, and there he was, sitting on the edge of the bed, just waiting for you. He was overly confident sometimes. Part of you was surprised that it never seemed to cross his mind that you could have left in the middle of one of these sessions, But you also supposed, his confidence was something that you found attractive sometimes as well.

Seongwu’s attention shifted to the door when your figure came into view. His eyes scanned your unclothed body as you sauntered towards him, a smirk trying not to form on his features. This wasn’t the first time he had seen you naked and he knew it wouldn’t be the last, but every time he did, he couldn’t help but revel in how beautiful you were. Everything about you was so enticing and entrancing to him. You made him wild with just the smallest actions and to say he wanted you, was craving you, badly in that moment was an understatement. He needed you as much as you needed him. When you finally reached him and kneeled in front of him, he couldn’t help how excited he got as your lips connected.

The both of you were so needy that your kisses were no longer gentle. They had become needy and sloppy, small noises leaving your lips as Seongwu won in your little game of dominance. But, it wasn’t over yet. You still had something up your sleep. As your lips locked with Seongwu’s your hand worked its way between your bodies and deftly grasped onto his member, making him groan into your mouth. You held it firmly and gave it a pump, earning you another groan before placing him against your hot flesh, your hand moving up and down to create a delicious friction that seemed to make him grow bigger.

Reluctantly, you pulled your lips away from his, just in time to see that lust flicker in his eyes, that moment when he was starting to come undone in your hands. It sent a shiver down your spine and urged you to keep going. Slowly, you lowered yourself down to sit squarely on your heels as both of your hands moved to his length, one at the base and the other further up as the pumped him, and down. You varied the pressure and speed, every time earning you a noise from your partner. He never held back. He was a bit of a vocal mess, and you knew how to make him even more vocal.

Giving him one last long stroke, as you brought one of your hands back, you replaced it with your mouth as you took him in, your tongue lightly flicking along his tip before it found itself massaging the underside of his manhood as you brought more and more of him into your mouth. You gave him a gentle suck at first, earning a groan from Seongwu in the process, before you started moved around his length, your hands at the base of his member to tend to whichever parts you couldn’t fit inside your mouth. Your head bobbed gently at first around his member, but you could tell that Seongwu was really getting into it, like he usually did. It wasn’t just the sounds that were resonating through his body, but also the way that his hand worked its way into your hair, trying to urge you to take more and more of him in. You did what you could, hollowing out your cheeks as you sucked him, ignoring the slight pain in the back of your throat in exchange for his pleasure in the moment.

You were sure that he was close, mostly with the way his hips tried to not push too far forward. You wanted to get him there, but before you could, Seongwu pulled you away so quickly and threw you on the bed, a feat that could only be achieved by his inhuman abilities. Before a gasp could even leave your lips, his were on yours again, completely devouring that loud moan that left your lips when he pushed into you. His entrance was so fast that you couldn’t help but whimper, the stretch being more than you had anticipated. Yet as fast and swift as his actions were, as anxious as he was to get to the best part, he was still gentle. Seongwu placed soft kisses on your face, stilling himself before slowly moving his hips to let you adjust to him. It didn’t take you long to start moving your hips in rhythm with his, any pain turning into a complete wave of pleasure.

“S-shit… Seongwu…”

Your breathing became more erratic as Seongwu picked up the paced, his name mixed in with every moan or mewl that left your lips. Each time he pushed in your legs would spread further apart to give him more room, your mind clouded by the pure pleasure he was building up in you. You felt his hot breath against your ear as he moved in and out, the occasional grunt making you moan as he hit that one spot, over and over, that always turned you into putty in his hands. It never took much for you to succumb to Seongwu completely, but it was so good every time you did.

You still didn’t have enough though. You wanted more. You wanted to feel more, and so, wanting more of that friction that was driving you wild, you pulled him closer to you, burying his face in the nape of your neck as you moved your hips with his. You met him at each point and every time you moaned louder. “S-seongwu…” you managed to stutter, earning you a soft chuckle in your ear.

“My love always sounds so hot like this. The way you say my name… the way you moan, I can’t get enough of it,” he whispered, making you moan again. He found himself quickening his pace as his lips left kisses along your neck, alternating with sucking and leaving little marks. His mind was so clouded by how good he was making you feel, with how good he felt, that he didn’t even notice how his normally hazel eyes turned red, or that his fangs had come out.

He might not have known but you had felt them instantly. You felt the way the tips of his fangs gently grazed your skin, and it sent a shiver down your spine. He had drawn blood from you before, usually in heated moments like this because it exhilarated you and was somehow better for him. It wasn’t uncommon so you were expecting his fangs to sink him. Yet, as you became more of a moaning mess in his arms, he never bit down. His fangs just danced on your skin, teasing you of the additional bit of euphoria that came every time those fangs broke skin. “S-seongwu, are you not going to do it?” you asked, almost sounding disappointed.

It was in that moment that he pulled away from you and you saw the shift in him. Those blood red eyes that were now scanning your form in place of his usual hazel ones that were far softer. But right now, those blood red orbs showed hesitation as Seongwu stilled himself above you. “Babe, I shouldn’t. It hasn’t been long since I last fed on you, and I don’t want anything bad to happen,” he said gently. Seongwu didn’t need to feed often, and when he did he often supplemented with animal blood, but you were his only source of actual human blood, and it was the way he wanted it. He found something special in you that he liked. Maybe it was because you were his, he didn’t know, but no one else was quite the same when he drew from them. But no matter how much he loved you, his instincts would sometimes get the better of him, but he knew he had to keep them at bay, mostly after the last time.

He had gotten a little over enthusiastic the last time the two of you made love and he decided to draw blood from you. He went a little overboard and you looked like you were in pretty bad shape afterwards. It was the first time he had ever taken more than he should have and he felt a pain in his chest seeing how weak you were. After that he had tried not to take from you, but even he knew he was getting a weaker, that he needed to eventually. And his natural instincts must have taken over in the moment, because they were ready to take what they craved now, and almost did if you didn’t say anything.

“But Seongwu, you haven’t fed in a while. You’re getting weak,” you told him. You had seen it. He had been looking a bit rough these last couple of days, but he had been playing it off as just fatigue, which you knew couldn’t be a thing. He needed to feed, and he refused to take from any human other than you. But he had become so shy about it after the last time made your bed-ridden for a few days. You knew he had felt guilty, but now he needed to think of his own well-being too.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said adamantly, but even he was having a hard time believing his words. It was taking every ounce of willpower in him right now not to do something he would regret. But you were completely overloading his senses. Between the way your body craved for him, to how fast your heart was beating, to how your aroused aura filled his senses, it was taking all of his self-control to not give in. He needed to feed, yes, but he also didn’t want to hurt you either. It was one thing to crave your blood, it was another for it to lead to him not having you in his life anymore.

You knew he had become gun shy so you knew that you had to do the one thing that would overwrite all of his inhibitions. You pulled him closer to you and tightened yourself around his length, making him moan in your ear as you said the words that always drove him while. “Damn Seongwu, just fuck me until I see stars.”

And that was enough for him to let loose. His hips moved faster, pistoling into you at a speed that you had never quite felt before. You were overstimulated, but you didn’t care. You could feel your release and you knew that he was close too. With every thrust you moaned into his ear, urging him on, and in a matter of seconds, you felt that familiar feeling pooling in your stomach. As your body shuttered, you felt two sharp pricks on your neck, pushing you further into a state of euphoria. The combination of the pain and pleasure were enough to wear you out as you felt a warm liquid filling you up as your lover reached his release above you.

When the both of you had ridden your highs, Seongwu slowly pulled out of you and engulfed you in his arms as your eyes grew heavy in that moment of pure bliss.

========

Consciousness plagued your body as you stirred from your sleep. Your head felt rather heavy and you were inwardly fighting with your brain to not wake up yet. You knew that this was a feeling of fatigue, but you had expected it. You would be able to work through it if your brain would just give you some more time to rest. But it seemed like it wanted to be up now, and you would have to find time to rest later.

The room was still dark, likely because Seongwu’s blackout curtains were obscuring the much brighter world outside. You had no perception of what time it was, but you didn’t even have time to think about it when a gentle kiss was placed on your temple, signaling to you that you weren’t quite alone. The lips gently moved to yours, softly kissing you in the most loving and affectionate way possible. There was no doubt in your mind that it was Seongwu. No one other than him had ever kissed you this sweetly.

“My love, you’re finally awake. Are you alright?” he asked, his words soft as he held you in his arms. He had stayed with you the entire time you slept, worried that he had overdone it. He stayed to keep listen to your heartbeat to make sure that it was normal, and he wanted to be there right when you woke up so that he could ask if you were alright right away. Seongwu hoped that he didn’t overdue it like he did the time before. Just thinking of that time caused a knot to form in his stomach. It could have been bad then, and he hoped it wasn’t like that now.

“I’m okay, just tired it all,” you informed him, resting your chin on his chest, eyes finally adjusting to how dark it was in the room. “Are you feeling better? Was that enough?”

A gentle smile graced his features and a weight was lifted off his shoulders when you told him that you were okay. He loved you a lot, and the way he was worrying about you now really proved to him that he wasn’t capable of feeling this way for anyone else.  “Honestly, I do feel a lot better overall,” he admitted, his hands drawing shapes into your skin.

Yet, Seongwu wasn’t one for keeping a serious mood for long. “Though, you know that I could never get enough of you. I’d make love to you a hundred times over in a night if I could,” he teased, hand lightly moving lower down your back.

“Maybe that’s a vampire thing, but it’s definitely not a human thing,” you teased gently, lightly tapping his nose as Seongwu made a move to pull your body on top of him, your naked forms fitting perfectly together. “It does feel good though…” you said softly, boosting the ego of the male below you.

That smirk on his features only grew. “I know what to do to you,” he teased gently before his eyes caught sight of the two puncture marks on your neck. That feeling overcame him again, that guilt. His brows furrowed as he leaned in to lick them, sending a shiver down your spine. “Make sure to cover them up, hm? They’ll fade soon…”

You nodded knowingly. It wasn’t the first time he had fed on you, but he said it every time, making his concern for you evident. “I know. Turtlenecks and other high sweaters for the time being. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t want any other girl knowing what you are anyway. They’d probably try to steal you away from me if that’s their fantasy,” you teased with a giggle.

“You know I would never leave you like that, right?” he asked, your joke being taken a little more seriously than you had expected. “I’d keep you by my side for eternity if you’d let me…”

Your heart swelled with his words, but before you could properly answer him, Seongwu’s lips were already on yours again, just to show you how much he really loved you…

[darkworkcourier]

okay but soft n loving jake????? that’s that good shit and u r the monarch of soft jacob, so how abt him getting the wind knocked out of him because he almost lost his partner, who he hadn’t actually realized he was as attached to as he is, and the subsequent lovin’

THIS GOT SO LONG AND I DON’T CAAAAARE because i actually really like this. thank u for the lovely prompt.

(this got artsier the more sleep-deprived i became. tbh i wrote this all in one go for like two hours straight and i think towards the end, you can tell. OTL)

- - -

The past few hours have been a haze of confusion and soreness. Every time Rook opens their eyes, the scenery seems to change. One moment, they’re out in the woods, propped up against a shack, watching the moon make a silent, slow arc through the canopy of the trees. The next, they’re on their side in the back seat of a truck, blood soaking the beige interior. And after that, it’s a blur of pit fires, metal doors, and concrete halls. By what seems like the hundredth time crawling back to consciousness, they’re in a warm bed, aching in more places than they can immediately account for, but definitely not dying, which is a huge improvement.

Their head rolls against a stack of pillows, and it takes a Herculean effort to get their eyes and brain off the fun house ride they seem to be stuck on, tilting this way and that and seeing the entire world through a distorted mirror. Shapes resolve themselves into actual furniture (dresser, boring gray rug, mounted deer head; at least they’re still obviously in Montana), and little by little, the room turns upright and stabilizes. 

Not that Rook feels particularly upright or stable, but it’s better than being dead.

They try to sit up to get a better view of the room, but vertigo hits them like a wave, promptly throwing the whole room back into hazy disorder and summoning a fresh round of nausea. Rook outright groans, because there’s no other outlet for the feeling of everything being wrong.

And that’s how they figure out that they’re not alone.

There’s a clamor that sounds like it’s on the other side of a building, and then the sound of rubber-soled boots on tile. A hand brushes against the side of Rook’s face, and for the first time that evening, they actually recognize something. The hand on their cheek is warm and heavy, and every finger is calloused. When the rough texture of a thumb smooths over their cheekbone, the next groan they give is one of relief, because they would know Jacob Seed’s hand even on the cusp of death, which is where they might be.

“Hey,” he says. He has a soft voice as it is, but there’s a warm edge to his tone that Rook isn’t used to. Rook wearily opens their eyes to see a blurry, crooked image of Jacob. One moment he has two eyes, and then four, which make Rook screw their eyes shut again. Nausea rolls low in their gut, drawing a whimper out of them.

“Shit,” Jacob curses. “Hold tight a second.”

Not like Rook’s going to go anywhere, seeing as how moving half a foot in any direction makes them feel like they have one foot in the grave.

Time moves strangely now, since it feels like Jacob is only gone a few seconds before he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. Rook can hear something being plastic being uncapped before they feel a tug on their hand. They open their eyes just enough to take in the hazy sight of Jacob turned sightly on the bed, holding their left hand in his. They see that their hand is covered in medical tape, with a tiny green plastic port sticking out from under a piece of gauze. That’s all they can stand to see before they squeeze their eyes shut again.

A strange, cool sensation runs up their arm, and then they feel Jacob gently massaging their hand. 

“I slept through the first alarm,” he says, sounding oddly apologetic, like whatever he’s talking about is something to be ashamed of. “Then I was just gonna let you sleep through it if you weren’t… Shit, that was stupid of me. I should’ve just done it.”

Rook has no idea what he’s saying, but the massage feels good, and there’s a warm sensation riding on the back of whatever he put in the port. The nausea ebbs in little waves until it’s completely dulled. The soreness dissipates along with it, until Rook feels like they’re floating, half-dreaming.

Jacob’s hand runs up their arm, and they open their eyes just long enough to see him staring at them. Idly, dreamily, they think he looks worried. That’s not possible, even though they know he cares about them. But worry and concern are just two things he doesn’t do.

They close their eyes before they feel the warm press of lips on their forehead. If Jacob says something else, it’s lost to the muffled cotton sound of oncoming sleep, and Rook is all too happy to fall into that.

- - -

There’s a buzzing sound, metallic clicking, and then a grunt of frustration. “No, I checked that already,” Rook hears Jacob say. He sounds like he’s just outside the room. His voice grows faint one moment, before getting louder. He sounds like he’s pacing.

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t have asked, would I?” he growls. A squeak of his boot, the sound of him turning on heel. Stomp, stomp, stomp. “No. No. I have lookouts all over that part of the mountain. Someone should have seen something.”

Rook opens their eyes slowly, wincing at the pale gold light filling the bedroom. The sun is just peeking below the archway leading out to what appears to be a balcony. Above the arch, SACRIFICE THE WEAK is stenciled in thick, black lettering. For a daily affirmation, it’s not a particularly pleasant one. At the very least, it lets Rook know that they must be at the Veterans Center.

Squeak. Stomp, stomp. Pause. “If I thought they were all going to be this incompetent, I would have taken care of that months ago,” he says. He sounds both furious and exhausted. Rook wonders if he slept at all. He starts walking again, closer and closer, until Rook looks up in time to see him poke his head into the room. He freezes, eyes locked on Rook. “I have to go,” he says into what looks like a heavy duty cell phone. Not even bothering to listen to a response, he shoves it into his pocket and crosses the space to Rook’s bed in a few steps. 

He obviously hasn’t slept, or has gotten very little. He’s always had dark circles around his eyes, for any number of reasons. Now, they’re the color of bruises. He has a pinch between his eyebrows that isn’t going away, and his skin has a tinge of gray to it that alarms Rook. 

“Are you okay?” they croak, their voice so raw and cracked that it’s any wonder they can speak at all.

Jacob looks at them, baffled. Then he laughs like he can’t believe it. “Am I– Are you kidding?” He crouches beside the bed, reaching over and taking their hand again, his thumb running just under the port. “I should be asking you that question.”

Rook takes a moment to take stock of themselves. The pain isn’t as bad as it was, but their throat is so dry that it’s starting to get painful, and the nausea has given way to hunger pangs. “Thirsty. Hungry,” they finally say with a shrug, but that ends up hurting, like they’ve pulled on some stitches. They probably have, and wince accordingly. “Sore,” they add.

“Sore,” Jacob scoffs. For a moment, Rook thinks he might be mocking them, like how he usually mocks the weak. But they watch him shake his head in disbelief. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

The memories are vague, and what remains seems to hang in that awful gray space of pain and confusion. They remember sparks and percussion of gunfire, and the feelings of their hands being coated in blood, so thick that it was dripping off their fingers. It’s all so jumbled together that they can’t even remember if they were shot, stabbed, or something else. All the pain blended together at some point. They shake their head.

Jacob hasn’t let go of their hand. It might be the longest he’s ever held onto them. “You took eight different bullets. Eight,” he says, squeezing their hand. “You were stabbed once in the shoulder, and got a pretty good gash on the back of your left calf. You should have been–” He cuts himself off before he can finish, which is strange for a man that has never once strayed away from the concept of death. Most of the time, he’s seemed to embrace it. He sighs through his nose and looks up at them, more vulnerable than Rook has ever seen him. It’s enough to make them think they’re dreaming again. 

“I should be dead,” they finish for him, in a voice that they think perfectly matches the kind of person that’s survived eight bullet wounds. 

He nods. “I don’t know how you’re not.”

Rook attempts to smile, but part of their face is numb, which makes it feel like someone’s tugging on one corner of their lips. “Super strength,” they say.

Jacob looks like he’s second from being lost in thought, his index finger running along the back of their hand, around the edge of the tape. “Yeah,” he says, right when they think he didn’t hear them. “Maybe that was it.”

He does get lost in thought then, his eyes unfocused, staring down at their hand and also nothing at all. His fingers move back and forth, back and forth. No aim or intention behind it.

“Jake,” Rook croaks out, and Jacob lifts his head immediately. They offer him another weak, half-done smile. “Water, maybe?”

His eyes widen, and Rook almost laughs at how much he looks like a kid that knows he’s in trouble. “Shit. Right. Hold on.” And he’s up and out the door again. 

Rook settles back against the pillows, the ghost of Jacob’s touch still tingling on the back of their hand like static. Their wound count doesn’t bother them, or the time they might have lost. It doesn’t even bother them that by all rights, they should absolutely be a cooling corpse somewhere in the high ferns of the woods.

It’s that Jacob looks like he’s seen a ghost, or that he’s come very close to losing something important. Rook has never seen him look like that, and it scares them.

He comes back minutes later with a plastic cup and a straw, and a coffee mug with a spoon handle peeking up over the edge. He sets the mug aside on an end table before taking up station on the edge of the bed again. Rook’s beyond grateful when he holds the straw up to their lips, since Rook can’t trust their own hands for anything. The water is ice cold, and it officially shoots up to the top of the list of the best things Rook has ever tasted. Jacob quietly reminds them to drink slowly so the nausea doesn’t come back, and at the same time, he lowers his free hand to the top of their knee, a comforting, warm weight through the quilt.

When the cup is half empty, Jacob takes it away (much to Rook’s begrudging understanding) and switches it out for the mug. Rook sees that it’s some kind of broth, and whatever it is, it smells downright heavenly. Jacob stirs it a few times, testing the temperature with his fingers, before taking a spoonful and bringing it to Rook’s mouth.

“Chicken broth,” he explains as Rook swallows it. It promptly takes second place on the list. “At least until you can eat solids again.”

“I don’t think I was shot in the stomach,” Rook says, trying to make the conversation a little lighter.

Jacob doesn’t seem to buy it, preparing another spoonful. “It was close. Maybe an inch and a half below it,” he says, feeding them more broth. “You’re lucky it didn’t permeate your intestines.”

That begs the question that’s been floating in the mist of Rook’s drug-addled mind. They swallow another spoonful before clearing their throat. “How long have I been out?” they ask.

Immediately, they’re alarmed when Jacob lowers the mug to count on his fingers. “That was Thursday, so… Almost a week.”

Their eyes widen. “A week?”

“You’ve been out for most of it. The first three days, we had you in the clinic downstairs,” Jacob explains, frowning. “I kind of forgot how good field surgeons could be.”

That at least explains the feeling of tugging on stitches. Rook’s head swims with the sheer gravity of the amount of time they’ve lost. All of the gunshots and the sight of the moon in the trees feel like they’re from another lifetime. Obviously, where they are now isn’t in the same lifetime, because even though they’ve been intimate or romantic or whatever definition they could try to latch onto what’s been going on between them, Jacob has never been so kind, so diligent in caring for them. 

Somewhere, something gives a tinny, repetitive beep, and Jacob sits up straight like he’s being mustered. He pulls the phone out of his pocket and nods to himself before looking back up at them, that weirdly apologetic look coming back. “You probably want some painkillers now, huh?”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

Jacob sets the mug aside and disappears into another room again, leaving Rook to their own confusing thoughts. By the time he comes back with an orange-capped syringe, Rook is no closer to figuring out why Jacob’s acting like this, why he’s going through the process of caring for them with so much diligence. And by the time he puts the newest round of painkillers into the port and the room goes soft and muzzy around the edges, they’ve about given up on trying to figure it out for the time being.

Then Jacob leans in, pressing his forehead against theirs. It’s the most intimate gesture any of the Seeds know, something beyond embraces or idle touches. It’s a mark of a bond, and one that Jacob of all people gives the most sparingly. He stays like that, his eyes closed, his breathing steady, and Rook hears him time his breaths with theirs. They slow when Rook’s slow, before he tilts his head up and kisses the place between their eyes.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Jacob says to them, which doesn’t make any sense. Where else would they go? But that’s just another mystery that loses its edge as they drift back to sleep.

- - -

Jacob’s kissing them, they think. It’s hard to tell, what with all the sensations of their body dulled to just little pressures here and there. They feel one on their neck, and it falls down their shoulder before circling the gauze covering their stitches from the stab would. By this point, Rook can make out the gentle sounds of lips on skin, which is enough to rouse them to consciousness.

When they slowly open their eyes, it’s dark again. The moon hangs like a copper-colored lamp on the horizon, supported by the black spires of pine. They turn their head to see Jacob in the bed next to them. His jacket is off, and he’s down to a thin gray t-shirt and his jeans. One of his arms is carefully bracketing their midsection, like he’s afraid to put too much pressure on them. The other is up on the pillow by their head. 

Rook watches in idle amazement as Jacob kisses down their shoulder to their arm, lips lingering above a wide patch of gauze where they think they might have been shot.

“Jacob?” they whisper.

He stays still for a long moment. They don’t even hear him breathe.

“Am I dreaming?” they try again.

He lifts his face to them, eyes just cool flashes of silver in the moonlit darkness. The patches of scars on his face are silver as well, and the soft light makes him look otherworldly. His hair is mussed, like he’s raked a hand through it, and if Rook could, they’d reach up and smooth it down again. 

“I wanted to tell you something,” he says, his voice so hushed that they wonder if they’ve hallucinated him speaking at all. He presses his lips to their neck again before lifting himself enough to kiss down to the meeting junction of their collarbones. 

Rook can smell him now, past the faint sterile smell of medical supplies and antiseptic. He smells like gun oil and pine, and it’s so familiar to Rook that it makes their heart ache. 

Slowly, he maneuvers himself so that his arms are pressed against the pillows on both sides of Rook’s head, his knees in between their legs, his body supported over theirs so that he’s not pressing down on them in a way that might hurt them. Then, he kisses them fully on the mouth. It’s oddly gentle at first, like a test to see if they’ll protest. When they don’t, and when they return it, he doesn’t hesitate for another moment. He kisses them harder, tongue against theirs, apparently not minding that they haven’t brushed their teeth or washed much at all aside from a few cursory washcloth baths. He kisses them like he needs them, and all those romance novel ideas of kissing someone like they’re a source of oxygen suddenly don’t seem so cheesy and exaggerated anymore. He’s kissing them breathless, until they gasp against him, their uninjured hand rising to cup the back of his head, fingers gently scraping his scalp. 

“Jake,” they say against his mouth, soaking in the wonder of him being so close. 

He pauses for a moment, lips held against the corner of their mouth. Then, he lowers his head and presses it against their neck. Rook hears and feels him breath in through his nose, like he’s absorbing their scent like they did to him.

He lets the breath out slowly, and it unrolls warm against their skin.

“I wanted to tell you,” he murmurs. The vibration of his low voice goes through their chest, ringing through their ribs. “Before you left. I wanted to.”

“Tell me,” Rook says, even though they feel dizzy, like all of this is happening to someone else. Some spirit has taken Jacob’s place. This moonlit creature isn’t rendered of the same material as a human, and the fantastical, drug-fringed parts of their mind imagine this entity of the wilderness coming to take them away, wearing the face of someone they’ve come to love, knowing that they can’t deny him.

He opens his mouth against their neck, once, twice. They feel his teeth on their skin, and it’s some form of surprise that they aren’t the fangs that Rook anticipates.

“Not now,” he says at last, and his voice leaves him like he’s unloading a weight. He shakes his head against their shoulder. “I can’t.”

“Soon?” Rook asks. They don’t care how desperate they sound. This can’t be real, after all.

Jacob doesn’t answer. In a moment, his weight is off of them, and he’s gone like a bent shadow in the night.

By the time Rook slips back into sleep, they wonder if he was even there at all.

- - -

A routine follows after that night. During the day, Jacob urges Rook through the slow steps of recovery. He does this all with a military precision and disdain for mistakes, like Rook knows him for. He’s not ungentle, though. He simply expects the best, and insists that Rook is capable of it. He feeds them until they can feed themselves, and when the doctor from the clinic comes up and declares them capable of physical therapy, Jacob takes to it like Rook is the soldier he’s been waiting for.

Rook outright cries the first time Jacob guides them to walk down the hall. The bullet wounds in their legs become hot bursts of pain, the kind that summons black spots to their vision. They almost collapse, if not for Jacob being beside them.

“I know it hurts,” he says. And he does know. Rook knows that he knows. His hands are steady on their shoulders, their waist. “But it’ll fade. It always does.”

So they keep that up, the walking, the stretches. Medication is delivered precisely when it needs to be, and Rook finds themselves relieved when the doctor deems whatever knock-out drug unnecessary. Some drugs still make them hazy, but it’s not as strong. 

And Jacob is always there. Morning, afternoon, and night, he’s by Rook’s side or nearby. If he does disappear, it’s always with ample warning, and it’s for a few hours that Rook uses to get a nap in or fit in a few extra stretches since they know it will make Jacob happy (or at least get a rigid but approving nod out of him). But he always comes back, to sit beside them and talk about nothing at all, or to just sit in companionable silence. 

At night, though, Jacob and the spirit that wears his face must trade places. He slinks in like a shadow, lays out on the sheets beside them. He speaks in riddles, asking them questions they don’t understand, whispering secrets to them that must be in another language entirely. They accept this with open arms, holding him close when he kisses at their pulse, when his hands dare to travel a little lower every time their physical therapy makes them stronger.

“You were never weak,” he tells them one night, his hand slipping under the band of their sweatpants to press against their hip. He speaks to them in this strange, dreamy voice. When he brushes against their groin, where everything has grown hot and sensitive, he kisses under their ear. “I saw that in you. I saw the hunger in your eyes. You’ve always been one of the strongest. I needed you.”

It’s not Jacob, because Jacob has never needed anyone, let alone Rook. But he says it in such a convincing voice, raw with that husky, soft tone that is a perfect mimic of Jacob. Rook has no trouble pretending that it’s him.

He deems them strong enough that he pulls their sweatpants down to their knees, and his hands only tease over their skin for a moment before they work at them, drawing pleasure where there was only agony before. His hand moves against them in practiced strokes, knowing exactly where to go, and the wet sounds of his hand against their flesh is enough to drive them over the edge. 

When it does, when their climax comes as unexpected as a lightning strike, they think they might see him for what he is, this not-Jacob who lives in the shadows and mimics him so well. They see his eyes burning like embers, so raw and alive that it stuns Rook. And when he presses his cock against their opening, carefully working his way inside, they lose all hold of the thought of what he actually is, because it’s not that easy to define, if there is a word for it at all.

His thrusts are slow and uncharacteristically gentle. He moans against their throat, teeth just over the place that a wolf could tear into to kill. When he rolls his hips and draws a whimper from them, he kisses them to pull the sound of it into him, like it’s giving him life. After that, he pushes harder. His hand works them again, eager to draw out more sounds, for whatever he must use them for.

“Jacob,” Rook sighs, hands trailing down his back. They give him his name, marking him, making him theirs. He groans against them, fucking them like he doesn’t know how to do anything else. When he shudders once, they lean up to kiss at the soft patch of unscarred skin under his left ear. “Tell me,” they whisper.

He does. He says every word that the Jacob who lives in the daylight couldn’t say. He says, “I couldn’t lose you.”He says, “I was scared.”He says, “I thought I would never see you again.”

He kisses them hard, drawing their moan into himself, and returning it as he comes inside of them. They breathe him in, all of his sounds and his sighs, and all the truths that the other Jacob couldn’t say. Whatever life they give him, they draw it back into themselves.

He rocks into them a few more times as he rides out his orgasm. The entire time, he clings to them, sweat on his skin catching the moonlight. They hold onto him just as tightly, afraid to let this shadow Jacob go. Once he’s gone, he’ll only come back in the daytime, the same Jacob Seed that everyone at the Veterans Center knows. He won’t say what this one is saying, how he desperately says that he needs Rook.

This time, however, Jacob rolls onto his side, curling around Rook in a protective crescent. His arm is around their waist, still mindful of the healing wounds that will eventually become scars. 

Rook almost wants to stay up to sunrise, to watch the transformation take place. But Jacob’s breathing evens out against the back of their shoulder, and they feel the slow beat of his heart. It’s enough to lull them back into the star-flecked mist of their dreams. Somewhere through the mist, they hear him ask them to stay.

Neither the real Jacob or the mimic Jacob will ever say they love Rook. Love is not the word he’d use, because love as a concept is something weak and unfamiliar.

Stay.

Stay means something closer. Stay means don’t leave. Stay means don’t go somewhere that Jacob can’t reach. Stay means that Rook is important, that Jacob’s found a place for them in his life. Stay, to Jacob, is stronger than love.

“Stay,” he says to them.

“I will,” they whisper back.

- - - 

In the morning, when sunlight through drawn shades paint stripes over Jacob’s skin, Rook smiles and kisses his shoulder. They’re ready for another day of routine, of backbreaking physical therapy and high-nutrition mush from the Veterans Center cafeteria, and Jacob acting like the shadow spirit that appears in the Center at night isn’t real at all.

But this Jacob, caught in the golden camouflage of morning, says, “Stay,” and Rook knows that it’s the same Jacob after all.

“I will,” they repeat, and it’s stronger than any I love you could ever hope to be.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hey Coon! Idk if you have already gotten a message from me, I was on mobile and the app crashed :°D so I'm writing again just in case. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and ask how you're doing! Soon I'll be free from exams and will catch up with stuff, including your fics. Also, you made me read Corqi for the first time and wtf, I love it. I've been reading Among Ruins and idk if you saw my comment, but I want to say it again: you've done a great job with that angst, ahah (*uncontrollable sobs*)

ALSKJDFLKAGJ AKLJASKLF GADKLADJFKLASFJ AKLDGJALKFJ ASLKJALKDGJADKLFJ

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPS

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

PURRRKWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

YOOOOOOOUUUUUU

PHENOMENAL CREATURE

MADE OF SWEETNESS, YOU KIND AND ADORABLE THING. PRECIOUS AND KIND HOOMAN WITH A GOOD HEART AND NICE WORDS, YOU MARVELOUS WONDER, YOU BEAUTIFUL THING, HOW DO I SMACK YOU WITH LOVE, HOW- I’M THROWING AT YOU ALL THAT ICANFIND BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH K AJSDKLJGADKGJAK HOW DO I EXPRESS MY AFFECTION HOW DO I EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION HOW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*INSERT GIF OF BIRD SCREAMING*

YOU APPEAR IN MY INBOX WITH NO WARNING, WHICH BLOWS MY OFF MY CHAIR ENOUGH ALREADY BECAUSE DAMN YOUR PRESENCE ALONE BRIGHTENS MY DAY AND MAKES IT SO HAPPY, AND THEN YOU THROW AT ME BEAUTIFUL AND NICE WORDS AND A LOT OF POSITIVITY, AND THEN YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS AND PRAISE IT!?!?!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*COMBUSTING*

*MOONRACCOON.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING AND CANNOT REBOOT*

*will force self to reboot under the cut hnhgfhg*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PURRRKWOOD BUDDY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING AKSJDKALGJ AKLDGJDLKGJSDG

*GOES AWAY TO TAKE A BREATH*

PURRRKWOOD BUDDY

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO

MAKE ME HAVE A HEART ATTACK!?!?!?!

YOU’RE KILLING ME WITH ALL YOUR SWEET EXISTENCE. ALL YOUR KINDNESS. I still haven’t properly thank you for the you know what you did in PMs, I just- have taken so long because life has either smacked me with stuff to do or I don’t feel I have the proper words or energy to thank you as I want to do it, it’s really still so beyond me and so mindblowing, I still can’t believe it… OTL

aND THEN YOU DROP HERE WITH MORE SWEETNESS THAT FILLS MY HEART SO MUCH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH, YOU’RE GIVING ME SO MUCH LOVE, MY HEART CAN’T CONTAIN ALL OF IT KLAJSDKLADJG A *SOBS*

Anyways, buddy, off to answer your message!!

D:

GASPS

Do you mean Tumblr ate a previous ask??? fUCK, FUCK- LISTEN-

If you sent a previous ask, it never made it in!! But if you mean in PMs, yes, it’s there!! Just as I said, and I’m sorry because of how stupid it sounds, but I’ve been waiting when I have the appropriate energy to reply to you as you deserve. I’ve let my conversations pile up and I thinkt hat answering the short ones one by one is easier so to not let them pile up, but they keep piling OTL 

So that’s why I haven’t replied. Yours is one of my prettiest conversations and one that I value a lot so I’ve been trying to answer as it deserves, not just with a random “lol kay”, it’s just…taken me a while OTL

So yes! No asks from you other than these two, and the PMs are there, and I hope to answer soon!

If you meant the comment on AO3, it was there too!! Just exactly the day that you dropped this ask I was going to (and actually did) answer that AO3 comment!!! It was a TREASURE! 

The reason behind it is, the early morning (some hours before you dropped the comment) got very bad for me. Some silly thing here in Tumblr that brought me down on the dumps. I don’t know if you saw it, but there was a week I was like…grey? Like not answering with my usual bubbliness. It was because of what happened, I was trying to contain myself (long story short, some people out of fandom found me via another post, and started making fun of my bubbly and toddler-like attitude when I reply to some posts OTL So I felt embarrassed and observed, like people were clicking my username just to spy and see what I was doing and what else I said hnngnhg).

So yeah, that and another little but diverse things made (have made) of the past 2 weeks sort of messy and miserable in a funny way, hahaha, you know, like the little things such as you’ve got soap on your hands and water runs out, etc. Nothing serious, but it still didn’t help OTL

So just like your PMs, because your AO3 comment was SO MEANINGFUL to me and an absolute treasure, I was trying to be back to my happy self before I replied. That’s why it took me like 10 days to reply! I’m so, so sorry!!! :(

ANYWAY I’M TALKING TOO MUCH AND I  JUST REPLIED ONE SENTENCE OF YOUR ASK AHAHAHA ah OTL

HI HELLO MY DEAREST BUDDY, HELLO!!!

It’s so so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful to hear from you again!!! I promise to get back to PMs soon so we can talk more often, but yes, it’s so nice and dear to see you around again. It makes me SO HAPPY to see you around, you have no idea. You’re a good friend to me and I value you a lot, so it makes me ECSTATIC to hear from you. Thank you so much for saying hello. ❤

I’m doing okay! I’ve healed really good. As said, just minor struggles like silly one-sided crushes and the soap on the hands, dammit, but that’s okay! I’m healed, there’s food in the fridge, I have my puppo doggo and my family, and life is pretty despite the little bumps in the way :3

What about you, my dear friend? Have you been well? Doing alright and sleeping nice?

Hooray for soon being done with exams!!! It hasn’t been THAT long since you dropped this ask, but are you done now? Or not yet? Either way, I wish you the BEST and greatest of success in your exams, buddy!! I know you’re going to do/did phenomenally FANTASTIC. It feels like you work very hard in what you do, so I have no doubts you’ll do great!! Sending you the MOST LUCKIEST AND MOST MAGICAL, HAPPIEST RACCOONIE VIBES FOR SUCCESS AND GOOD RESULTS!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

*mentions Corqi*

*INSTANTLY HIGH PITCHED SCREECH AND COMBUSTING AND EXPLODES*

“you made me read Croqi for the first time and wtf I love it”

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

*EXPLODES*

*ASCENDS TO NINTH HEAVEN*

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY FUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AKSLDJAJFKL AS JFALKSGJALKDJAKLFJAS KLFAKL JGA

*UNCONTROLLABLY SHORT CIRCUITING AND FLAILING ON THE GROUND*

BUDDY

I COULD GO ON REACTING AND SCREAMING FOR TEN PAGES MORE BECAUSE OF THE EXCITEMENT THAT WHAT YOU SAID MAKES ME FEEL, BUT I WOULD NEVER END GODDAMMIT, JUST KNOW- I’M NOWHERE NEAR YELLING ALL THAT I WANT TO YELL AND YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND ALL THE SCREECHING I FEEL. YOU CAN’T IT’S SO MUCH. MY WHOLE SOUL IS SCREAMING AND SPASMING ON THE GROUND AND FLAILING LIKE ONE OF THOSE INFLATABLE FLAILING TUBE STICKMAN FIGURES KLASJD AGOIJASFLAKSJFA

*dROWNS*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Aah, buddy!!!! I know I said it already over in AO3, but the fact that you decided to give Corqi a chance? With one of MY fics!?!?!?! IT’S SO WONDERFUL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYSTERICALLY HAPPY THAT MAKES ME KALSJDKALJF ;A;

Buddy, I have literally NO idea how to thank you enough or properly NO IDEA. Zero clue, I have no way on this earth to thank you enough or to let you know how excited all this makes me feel, aaah. Among Ruins specifically is a long story that can come off as boring to many, usually rarepairs do much better with short little ficlets to catch the attention. So the fact that you decided to give the pair a go with the longest fic there is for it? Holy celestial moogles, buddy, that is- so incredible, I have no way to put it in words.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know I may sound repetitive from what I said over in AO3, but really, the fact that you decided to give both the pairing and that specific fic a go jsut because I’ve been talking about it, thatmeans a lot to me, like you have no idea. I already had enough with not knowing how to thank you for the ko-fi, I’m entirely CLUELESS right now. Your support is really…mindblowing and doesn’t fit in my head. I’m not sure I’ve processed it at all, it’s truly mindblowing and leaves me speechless!!

Thank you. I can’t and won’t say it enough times so you feel it. Just thank you. For all your beautiful support. Thank you for giving Corqi and Among Ruins a chance, it really really means a LOT to me! I was very scared it would have poor reception, but it’s done good enough, and the fact that you started reading it and that you’re enjoying? It feels like one of the most exquisite victories I’ve had. I know it’s just fanfiction, but it’s still writing, it’s MY writing, and it means a lot to me that you gave it a chance…

:’)

Buddy, thank you so much. Your support is so huge, it doesn’t fit in my heart. I have no way to give you back all the mountain of love and support you’ve given me, I try but it just feels like every pebble I give you, you return as a mountain aaah!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m SO happy that you decided to give it a chance!! I have a lot of future plans for that fic, and I’m really excited to write it all, so it means a lot that you’re enjoying of it. :’)

Thank you so much for thinking I did well on the angst, too!! In all honesty I don’t think I made justice to chapter 6 at all, as it’s more a cinematographic in my head and I don’t think the way I put it into words was enough hnhngfnhfg, but it had a good reception so I’m very happy that you people could capture the sadness of the moment!!!

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m happy I did well on the angst! It was basically the…core of the story? Like the roots. What gives sense tothe rest. So it was important to me that it turned out okay, and I’m happy you think it did. Thank you so much, it gives me so much confidence and makes me so happy

THANK YOU SO MUCH! ❤

Also, thank you lots for giving Corqi a chance!! I did say as half-a-joke half-a-statement that I was going to drown everyone in Corqi, I just didn’t think I would get to do it ahahaha! I’m happy you’re onto the ship now, though. It’s good to have you here!

I do hope to hear from you soon again, Purrrkwood, buddy!!! You’re a delight to read and a joy to talk with, I could never get tired of your presence. Gods, thank you so much for taking the time and effort of writing to me, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me. :’)

But anyways, that’s it, buddy!! Thanks a lot for everything again, and sorry it took me a while to answer!!

AND OF COURSE I’VE BEEN SENDING YOU THE MAGICAL VIBES!!! Even if I don’t answer straight away, I read my asks as soon as I see them there, and do pay attention. So you can bet all seven rings of my tail that I’ve been sending you SPONGEY SQUISHY MAGIC VIBES. Have they worked?

Even then, I do am gonna send more now because there’s something magical about seeing them written, sO HERE I GO

*FOCUSES*

I’M CHARGING UP.

HNN-

HNNNHGG….

STRESSFUL TIMES, HUH. THESE MEAN BULLIES. HOW DARE THEY APPEAR. 

I CAN’T MAKE THEM GO AWAY BUT I CAN EASE IT AND HELP SO THEY EVENTUALLY FADE SO HERE I GO.

I CHARGE UP.

MY SPECIAL VIBES THAT ARE SPECIFICALLY MADE FOR STRESSFUL TIMES.

MAGICAL MOON RACCOON SPARKLES, DELUXE SPECIAL EDITION, ANTI-STRESS VERSION 2.0

HNNHGNHGHG….

CHARGING….UP…..

C H A R G I N G    U P … .… …

ALL THE MOST MAGICAL

STRONGEST

MOST POWERFUL

SQUISHIEST

SPONGIEST

FLUFFIEST

MOST RINGED AND BOUNCY

BUBBLIEST

MOST JOYFUL

HAPPIEST, LUCKIEST

MOST

POWERFUL

RACCOON VIBES

A L L 

FOR

YOU

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆

ALL THE MAGIC!

*EXPLODES INTO A THOUSAND SNOWFLAKES*

Ah.

Aah…. I’m ded.

bUT THAT’S OKAY! I’ll recharge the magic later so don’t worry about the maccoonie! :D

I just hope the stressful times can ease and calm down, buddy!!! You deserve happy and good times. I hope school treats you nicely, and life even better. Sending you all the magic not just for luck and success, but also they contain all the raccoonie love this maccoonie feels for you, so I hope that if it fixes nothing, you can at least cheer up!

If you need more magic, you tell me, okay, buddy!? (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Lots of hugs back to you!! All the squishy, fluffy raccoonie snuggles, have them askldjalkfj, ALL OF THEM aaah!

I hope you’re having a BEAUTIFUL day or night, buddy! Thanks a lot for everything, and lots of hugs back to you!! ( ´ ▽ ` )

[constupidity]

Submit Anon: Why I Left the Hetalia Fandom

Be forwarned, this tale is a long one. Sorry if this story is all over the place. If any readers recognize these people, do not go after them. Real names will not be used in this story, so we’ll call these “Hetalians” in question:

*”Ludwig”, a young woman who Oliver had/has feelings for.

*”Oliver”, the star of this tale, and the ringleader of a cosplay group.

*”Matthew”, the oldest member of the cosplay group, and the only other male besides me. We were very briefly a thing.

*”Feli”, me, the one who had to put up with all this. I’m autistic, and have some sensory issues; I also don’t usually catch typical “cues” right away.

*”Francis”, and “Kiku”, two of Oliver’s sympathizers, friends, and members of her group.

*”Tino”, a Finland cosplayer who honestly was kind of bossy.

I first met these Hetalians when I first started out cosplaying. It was the Saturday of a certain con that I met Ludwig, who, while an attractive woman, I only saw as a friend (remember this as we go on).

We chatted on Tumblr for awhile, and one day she asked if I was going to the Hetalia Day meetup that year. Not knowing about it until then, I said yes! Because of course I wanted to expand my circle of friends, and if these would-be friends have the same interests as me, then that makes it a hundred times easier.

So the day of the meetup came, and so far, everything was fine. Ludwig came about an hour after I did, and unbeknownst to me, and brought a friend of hers along. This is how I met Oliver.

(Quick side note before we continue: I’m the type of person, who even non-romantically, if I’m comfortable enough with a person, I hug, hold hands, etc. willingly, as I otherwise don’t particularly care to touch other people.)

So Ludwig and I head from one pavilion to the other (the meetup was at a rather large park), and as we’re walking, holding hands as we do, we suddenly hear this girl yell at us, and despite being nearly a foot shorter than me (I’m 5’7”, she was like 4’8”, I think?) nearly pulled me to the ground, with such force that I nearly did lose my balance! Now I’m not the assertive type at all, nor did I really understand at the time why Oliver did that to begin with, so I back off a little for the time being.

In fact, I nearly forget about the incident until almost a year later, when Oliver volunteered to pick me up to take me to A-Fest, since I couldn’t (and still can’t OTL) drive, and get me to my hotel. We have somewhat of a decent conversation on the way there. Mostly about other cons we’ve been to previously. Oliver also brought up about Ludwig and how “she was the best thing to ever happen to [her]”. And suddenly her behavior at the meetup made sense to me. Or, it sort of did, I would end up needing a few more hints that came when we picked up Ludwig so we could all go get our badges together, and so I could get checked into the hotel I was staying at.

So among all other things I had with me, a video camera was one of them, because I wanted to (and would still like to) try out the whole “vloging” thing. As soon as Ludwig is in the shot, however, Oliver snaps at me saying “Don’t film my woman!”

I was taken aback, because since when was she your woman? It was established prior to picking her up that Ludwig is only interested in men (cis men, specifically), and that she already had a boyfriend. And there was certainly no polygamy involved. Yet, this whole thing was still going over my head.

Anyway, I get checked in, and even though I booked the hotel room, Tino, who I was unfortunately rooming with, starts acting like she’s the boss. She snapped at me when I didn’t look her in the eyes, even though that’s something I’m not comfortable with (eye contact is very distracting to me), she wouldn’t let me go to sleep until four in the morning, and that was only because I had started shaking and crying from behind so sleep deprived. And because she prioritized con so much, she barely let me eat, or bathe, or brush my teeth. Except maybe one time each, each day? If even that? And despite bringing four characters to cosplay, she only allowed me to wear one! One character, two outfits, the whole con! And she forced me to go to the rave with her; I don’t go to raves, or as I like to call them “sensory overload imminent”, so just imagine how well that went…

There was an incident where I had accidentally left my video camera and my mom’s camera that I was borrowing at the Hetalia photo shoot location; I did get them back a day later (thank you whoever dropped them off at lost and found!), but at the time, I was really upset about it, and Tino wouldn’t let me go look for them, and I ended up having a meltdown because of that, and from being bossed around, and from being so sleep deprived. Did she care? Only because she wanted to get back to con going! Hell, a random passerby was more concerned than she was!

Neglecting her health bit her in the ass on the last day of con, however, as she caught con plague. I don’t wanna say that she had it coming, but she did. And when my shenanigans with her ended, in came Matthew.

Now, at this point, I barely knew him from online, along with past cons and meet ups, but I soon found myself spending Saturdays with him. From there, we became fast friends over the course of a year. He got me into a few other anime titles as well, yet when I tried to get him into my favorite games (since I do mostly prefer video games over anime), he wouldn’t have any of it. He even called Kirby “a video game for babies” once when I wore my Kirby t-shirt!

(Also, funny thing: even though he’s older than me, and owns every Nintendo console, he can’t get the Koopalings’ namesakes correct! That’s like, Nintendo 101 stuff, too!)

Despite this, I somehow managed to develop feelings for him (and I still don’t know why). We went on, maybe three dates at most, before calling it quits.

And Matthew, if you are reading this: Yes, I will admit I was very immature then. I will also admit that arousal is an emotion that I am not 100% familiar with. It was a very confusing mess I should have left you out of. In those regards, I apologize for giving you any unnecessary stress. That is all I will apologize for.

While that whole tangent with Matthew was going on, Oliver decided to start an Another Color Hetalia (better known as 2P) cosplay group, and roped as many of us in as possible. Even though I was assigned a character, I never even got around to starting on the costume, which was for the better really.

It was during this, I learned once and for all that Oliver thought I was trying to steal Ludwig. At Hetalia Day 2014, we were all there, but when I went up to Ludwig to try and say hello to her, some other Hetalians, who I presume were some of Oliver’s cronies, stopped me from going up to her.

“I just want to say ‘hi’!” I said.

“Are you sure about that, Feli?” one of them asked. I just walked away totally confused, wondering what I said or did. I reached two conclusions after the meetup:

1. Oliver must not really like me that much. 2. She thinks I’m trying to steal away Ludwig, even though I have no reason to.

I unfriend her online not long after, but I was still a part of the cosplay group. For some reason.

Anyway, in November that year, there was yet another cosplay meet up I wanted to go to. However, there was no way I could get there myself, as my mom, who would normally take me to these things, would be working on that day. So I ask Francis if she, or anyone else going, could come and get me that day. I ask her at least twice, and she completely ignored me. The day of the meetup comes and goes, and I end up missing it. I told Francis it was mean of her to ignore me, and some friend she was to just forget about one of her friends (in summary; I forget the exact words I used), and unfriended her.

The next day, Oliver messaged me, telling to “say [I’m] sorry to Francis.”…Except Francis was the one at fault, not me?? I never apologize, since she deserved what I said.

One day on Facebook, our cosplay group (yes, I was still somehow a member!) was debating on having an Ask-a-2P Panel, and which con to have it at (since each of our 2015 con schedules were different all around). The main concern was having everyone at the same place at the same time. I took this problem seriously, and decided to make a suggestion.

Now, you know how in theater, every actor has an understudy (aka, a ‘back-up’ actor of sorts to practice alongside the main actor, in the case they need to fill in)? I thought, since Hetalia is a popular cosplay, especially this AU in particular, finding understudies wouldn’t be a problem at all. Plus, it would guarantee we would always have a complete set! That’s how I made sense of it.

Now, I didn’t expect everyone to agree, but it was still an idea worth keeping in mind, at least. Evidently, Oliver didn’t think so. She snapped at me for even thinking of such an idea and was all “don’t ever say again!” and I’m like Bitch, chill out. It was just a suggestion!

I forget about the incident for awhile until 2015, and Ikkicon both come along. I’m waiting in line with Matthew for our badges, when he says it.

“Feli, apologize to Oliver when you see her. ‘Cause that wasn’t cool. This panel/group is like her baby!”

Oh my lord. It was just a freaking suggestion. It didn’t help I was already irritable with other things going on during that time. Now they are going to dump this on me, too? It took all my self control not to snap!

And after that con, I finally ended up leaving the cosplay group. Not because I hadn’t started on my costume, or because of my con schedule, but because I disagreed with Kiku on a headcanon.

Yeah.

Because I didn’t agree with everyone else on some stupid headcanon, nearly everyone in the chat (sans anyone who was offline at the time) gained up on me until I finally snapped at them, told them off, and left. I got one last message from Oliver, but didn’t bother reading it. I blocked her, Francis, Kiku, and Ludwig on Facebook.

Think that’s the last of it? Think again!

Fast forward to A-Fest 2015. I’m having second thoughts about going because of last time. Matthew insisted I come anyway (mostly since I was rooming with him, and owed my share). Now prior to this, I was 90% sure he said he was going to come get me on his way to con. So imagine my shock when he says he will not be picking me up, but is picking up Oliver. I tell him off, decide I’m not going to con. But a mutual friend says they can come get me. I reluctantly, and regretfully, agree.

I end up spending little to no time at the con itself. Matthew got con plague on the first day (haha!). Half the time, I debated whether or not to call my mom to come get me and take me home!

After that con, I find out from Matthew that Oliver “has nothing against me” (as if!) and “wanted to talk to me during A-Fest” (yeah, right!). Unfortunately for her, I want nothing to do with her, or the fandom for that matter, anymore.

Now, I’m not saying everyone in the Hetalia fandom is bad, but these ones in particular really ruined it for me. I guess the only good ending here, is that I am no longer affiliated with those people, and have since found new interests with fandoms that are billion times better!

[athyrabunlord]

LLSHP Interlude - Carbonado (1)

Arc1: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]

Arc2: [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14]

Arc3: [Chapter 15 -  Under The Black Lake (TBD)]

Interlude: [Carbonado (1)] [Carbonado (2)] [Of Feathers and Wind] [Delphinus (teaser blip)]

[Brief note about School Term] [other LLSHP AU stuff] [YohaMaRuby concept arts] [ChikaYouRiko concept arts] [KanaDiaMari concept arts] [Hogwarts Staff]

[FFN link] (finished the interludes!) [Pixiv Link]

A/N: I should be writing LLSHP 11, I really should, but I can’t get this out of my head OTL No way I can wait until the whole story is finished to write this behind-the-scenes chapter, so here it is, a DiaRiko special interlude. It shows how their relationship develops prior to the beginning of the main story and up to chapter 10. And somehow it got so long I had to split in two parts

[You don’t necessarily have to read the main story to understand this one, but there are a lot of connections so it’s highly recommended you do, to appreciate Dia and Riko’s bond]

Words: 7,181

Riko Sakurauchi is vaguely aware of the pleasant floral scent as she starts to break away from sleep. The pillow feels more comfortable than she could remember, coaxing her to snuggle and drift back to blissful oblivion. How long has it been since she has felt this relaxed, this sated from rest?

Something odd about her whereabouts prickles at the back of her mind, enough that she is forced to blink her eyes open to assess the situation. Silky green and silver greet her as she sweeps her gaze around the familiar yet unfamiliar room.

Slytherin… the prefect dorm-?

Her eyes widen a fraction when she locates another girl seated on the window sill, reading a thick tome. The light that filtered through the panes is Charmed to resemble sunlight, but retains the Lake's unique tints since this is the Slytherin Dungeon as opposed to the Ravenclaw Tower. Dia Kurosawa's silhouette is enveloped in that soft glow, giving her an unapproachable yet picturesque aura, like a painting to be admired from afar.

Disorientated from vestiges of sleep still, Riko sluggishly gets up in a sitting position.

"Good afternoon, Sakurauchi-san."

Riko tilts her head. "Good afternoon, Kurosawa-san… h-how long have I been asleep? And, how did I get here-?"

Dia slightly lowers her head, the book now closed in her lap as she turns to face Riko. "Apologies. It has come to my attention that you have not had much sleep the past few days. Therefore, when I found you napping in the living room, I took it upon myself to place you on my bed, as it would be more comfortable than the chair."

Fragmented memories of her reading books come to mind. Riko coyly meets the older witch's concerned eyes. "Thank you, for everything. I know I must be intruding and-" She jolts in realization and tries to get off the bed. "Oh, I'm so sorry for taking up space, I didn't mean to just fall asleep and-"

"Sakurauchi-san, it is fine. I did not feel sleepy last night anyway, and a few hours of nap on the couch is more than adequate." Dia is now standing beside her, her hand gentle but also firm on her shoulder as if to keep her from leaving the bed. "You need to rest more than I do."

Riko sighs shakily. That brief sense of contentment from earlier seems like a figment of her imagination, now that reality has caught up again. "H-How is-?"

"Takami-san and Watanabe-san are fine. Kanan-san is taking care of them, and I have requested Mari-san to inform me should anything peculiar happens." Dia summons one of the chairs beside the desk and places it close to the bed before sitting down.

Kanan Matsuura is Chika and You's childhood friend and someone they both look up to, while Mari Ohara is her fellow Ravenclaw Housemate with a reputation for her quirkiness and brilliant grades at many courses. The two seniors are also Dia Kurosawa's most trustworthy friends, and have been helping her cope with that terrible incident just as much as Dia has.

She didn't know them back then and neither did they, yet circumstances had brought them together and, already, they have done so much for her.

"I see. Thank you, again, for…" Riko swallows the huge lump in her throat. "I'm not ready to face them yet."

"Of course, that is understandable." Dia's husky voice is kind. "However, you will need to face them eventually. The first term may be over soon, but surely they would like to see you before they go home for the holidays, and vice versa."

Riko gives her a slow nod, not trusting herself to speak any longer. Despondency soon devolves to dread while guilt makes it difficult to breathe. She could still hear Chika's agonized scream as those hooded figures struck her down with a Cruciatus Curse. She could still see the blood staining You's robe and fair hair when she blocked a cutting Hex from hitting her. Most of all, their blank eyes when she desperately wipes their mind clean of the incident, of their research group, of her…

"Shhh, it is okay. Let it out."

A hand is gently caressing her back, and Riko does find it easier to breathe after a while.

"You should not have involved yourself with me. Kanan-san and Mari-san too," she chokes out, her voice feeble and strained.

"But we are," Dia says evenly. "We share a common foe, a common goal. What happened has happened. We are in this together now, Sakurauchi-san. Please do not hesitate to depend on us more."

Riko flinches from the selfless offer. She understands the gist of the Kurosawa heiress' situation, that those hooded figures are the same ones that attacked the Pureblood for reasons unknown. Even then, she is grateful for the company and support. She wouldn't know where she would be now, if Dia and her friends hadn't found her curled up beside Chika and You's prone bodies. She was a complete sobbing mess then, and she refuses to become one again.

She swallows down a whimper and subconsciously pulls the blanket closer so the floral aroma fills and soothes her sense once more. "Thank you, Kurosawa-san."

Dia's small smile is just as warm as it was back at the campsite.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

'Depending on the proficiency of the Charm, memories are either suppressed or irreversibly erased. Therefore, it is possible to recover those memories-'

Riko stares hard at the wizened page of a thick tome she had managed to find from her family library. She is by no means an expert in the Memory Charm, but if she is trained properly and learns as much as she could about spells and the body, she might be able to reclaim the memories she had wiped from Chika and You's minds.

This is it then, her new goal. Surely, by becoming a Mediwitch, she would be qualified to do just that.

Sighing tiredly, she rubs the bridge of her nose and sinks back against the chair. At least she has accomplished something today. The holidays have been horrid so far, as she is unable to speak to her parents about what truly transpired at school due to that accursed Unbreakable Vow. Other than the feeble excuse of wanting to research and study more, she could not explain to them the reason behind her distance and subdued demeanor.

Chika and You have been sending her letters, their lively entries bringing her both joy and guilt. Their parting at King's Cross Station was awkward and brusque, with her making pitiful excuses about family commitments. She doesn't understand why the duo is still so attached to her, since the Memory Charm should have eradicated everything and made her a simple classmate to them. Yet, it is as if the whole mess with the quill never happened and they are still close friends.

I miss them. So much...

At least, according to those letters, they don't seem to be suffering from any aftereffects of the spell and are as energetic as ever.

Riko slaps her own cheeks and stands up determinedly. This is no time to be despondent. While her family library isn't as vast as Hogwarts' collection, she is certain that she would discover valuable information. It feels therapeutic even, studying and researching on her own, rather than learning from a sentient quill. She feels that, by understanding the origin of something, the newfound knowledge is earned and is safe, controllable within her ability.

It's New Year's Eve today, so she might as well make the last day of the year as productive as she could.

She has no idea how many hours have gone by, but when a commotion outside snaps her concentration, she notices that the sky has turned dark. Frowning, she approaches the window with her wand out, dubious of the possibility of intruders since the Sakurauchi residence is well-Warded.

Suddenly the alabaster windows blast open with a strong gust.

"Good evening~! How is my favorite kouhai-chan doing?"

That peculiar pitch could only mean one person. Riko closes her eyes and reopens them again just to make sure she isn't hallucinating. There, mounted on a majestic Hippogriff, is Mari Ohara with her signature Cheshire grin. She has never been particularly close to the flaky senpai, so how did the blonde find out where she lives and why is she here?

Her inner question must have been obvious on her face, for Mari holds up her finger and says. "Just want to confirm something, Rikocchi. You don't have any plans tonight, right?"

Riko hesitantly shakes her head.

"Alright~ Then you're coming with me! I've already informed your parents that I'll be borrowing you for, oh I don't know, a few days~"

"Huh? What-? Where are we-?"

"Come on!"

Mari has been helpful and encouraging so far, and her presence within the property means Riko's parents must have approved of her entry. Therefore, it wouldn't be harmful to see what the older witch wants, would it? Perhaps the loneliness over the holidays have worn Riko out more than expected, for she reaches out and takes the blonde's offered hand.

This could sort of resemble a pivotal scene in a fairytale where the prince in shining armor picks up the locked up princess with his gallant steed, except the said princess is hoarsely screeching in fear and confusion, while the said prince is cackling in glee as they soar above the clouds.

Riko regrets not rejecting the invitation outright. All she could do is cling to Mari's back as the Hippogriff sail across the sky with twirls and spins every now and then. She has never been a fan of flying growing up, preferring the Floo Network or Portkey as method of travel. And, with her recently acquired skill of Apparition, she sees no point in ever touching a broom again in her life, not after watching all the reckless stunts Chika and You pull during Quidditch.

But this is, for a lack of better word, insane!

"Lighten up, Rikocchi! Have some fun~!"

"This is so not fun, it's dangerous- yeeeeeeek!"

When they finally descend in a condensed forest, thankfully in one piece, Riko practically leaps off the Hippogriff just to savor the safe sensation of terra firma again. Her knees are still shaking though, making her glare and folded arms not as intimidating as she has hoped.

"Mari-san…"

The blonde senior has the audacity to giggle. "Oho~ Not bad, Rikocchi! Work on it a bit more and you could be as scary as Dia!"

Riko resists the urge to stomp and tries to breathe calmly. "Just where have you brought me, Mari-san?"

Mari merely winks and sends off her Hippogriff back into the night sky. With one crooking finger, she beckons Riko to follow her. Though dubious, Riko has no choice but to follow her companion through this unfamiliar landscape. The forest trail is narrow but appears to be meticulously maintained, with the hedges trimmed and the soil compressed evenly. The quiet atmosphere is not unsettling like the oppressive aura of the Forbidden Forest, but it does share that ancient and magical presence.

"Just where are we-?" Riko murmurs and is about to cast Lumos when Mari stops her with a light tap.

"No light or any traceable spells, not in this territory, at least not until the coast is clear. Ah, there she is~"

Riko tenses when she spots a large silhouette padding towards them. She blinks when the wolf smoothly transforms into a familiar ponytailed witch.

"Kanan-san?"

"Hey. Glad you could make it."

"Make it to what-?"

Kanan chuckles exasperatedly. "You didn't explain to her, Mari?"

"I want it to be a surprise~"

Riko looks between the two older girls, but she pushes the confusion away for the time being and approaches Kanan anxiously. "How are Chika-chan and You-chan? T-Their letters said you had a snowball fight-?"

"Yup! Between them and Shiitake, I had no chance!" Kanan smiles amiably as her voice softens to an understanding tone. "They are doing just fine, but they miss you a lot."

Something inside of Riko deflates and she just feels weary. "I see... I do too, so much, but I-"

She blinks in surprise when Kanan ruffles her hair. "None of that here, not today at least. Mari and I are going ahead to make sure your entry won't be detected. Will you be okay on your own for a bit?"

"S-Sure? I'm not a little kid," Riko resists the urge to pout, though it does feel oddly refreshing to be treated like this. She often has to play the older sister figure within her group of friends, so this is a pleasant change for once. "You won't explain what's going on here though-?"

"Mari's kept this a secret this long, I'll do the same," Kanan and Mari exchange a small smile before the two change into their Animagus forms.

Riko leans against a tree, her fingers nervously wrapped around her wand as the wolf and the cat darts into the shadows. She has no reason to distrust the two older witches, and this forest does lack that ominous aura as the Forbidden Forest. The whole trip so far has thrown her routine schedule of research out of loop but it isn't wholly bad. This rather reminds her of the spontaneous excursions Chika would come up with, or the rare childish adventures You would lead them around the Black Lake.

No matter how much she tries, she keeps sinking back into that quagmire of remorse. Thankfully, true to Kanan's words, she doesn't have to wait for long.

"Good evening, Sakurauchi-san. Apologies for the wait, and for Mari-san's behavior as well."

"Kurosawa-san?"

Riko is astonished to find Dia carefully descending in front of her on an unusually large broom. The Kurosawa heiress is dressed in a simple vest and jeans, an unexpected outfit for someone of her station and making her appear like a Muggleborn.

"I assume neither Mari-san nor Kanan-san explained why they have brought you here?"

Slow nod. Dia shakes her head in exasperation. "I do not understand their intention either, but perhaps it is best that we talk inside." She gestures at the forest and at a direction beyond the canopies. "This is the Kurosawa Estate, and a complex system of Wards prevent any outsiders from entering the grounds. This trail is the only method of approach via Muggle means, but we can at least fly over the Manor and enter my private wing this way. Please get seated behind me."

Humbled and just a little apprehensive, Riko glances at her surroundings one more time before sitting on the invisible cushion of the large broom. "I've never seen this kind of broom before…"

"Ah yes, this one was specifically modified to fit one extra passenger," Dia's voice is rather monotonous. "I used to fly around with my little sister."

"I didn't know you have a little sister-" Riko bites her lips but the inadvertent question has already slipped out.

"... Ruby is four years younger than me, and she will be attending Hogwarts as well, for next year." Dia clearly doesn't want to speak more on the subject, so Riko nods and gingerly holds onto the handle in front of her seat.

Once Dia ensures that Riko is secure, they effortlessly ascend over the canopy and towards the distant Manor. The maneuvers are precise and steady while maintaining decent speed, making the whole ride a pleasant experience as opposed to the heart-stopping skydiving she did with Mari earlier. Nostalgia fills her as she recalls how Dia was the Slytherin Seeker when she first came to Hogwarts, and the times she sat with Chika and You in the breachers cheering for Kanan. Chika wanted to become a Beater after seeing her childhood friend's daring strikes, while You found the agile Slytherin Seeker to be cool and aspired to become one too.

Smiling wistfully, Riko leans forward and subconsciously wraps her arms around Dia's waist as if this would fend her from the night chill and these distant memories.

If Dia has any objection to such proximity, she does not say anything. Riko relishes in the warmth as she dazedly appreciates the view below. The Kurosawa Estate is truly a sight to behold, the extensive network of buildings and ground comparable to Hogwarts itself, just on a smaller scale. The mixed style of traditional Japanese ceramic roof tiles and Western arches present a rather austere atmosphere for any onlookers.

The central Manor resembles more like a fortress than a simple residence, so Riko is slightly relieved when Dia veers off to the side and descends towards an open area closer to the hedge that encompasses the entire Estate. This private section is more simplistic in appearance, with a quaint two-story house that has wooden verandas and traditional Japanese shoji doors.

Riko has the odd sensation of something cool traveling up her body as she carefully steps onto the grass, possibly the effect of the Wards accepting her presence. Unlike the frigid night air in the forest, the surroundings feel warm from heating Charms as if she is indoors. She glances around the garden in wonder, admiring the aesthetic arrangement of ornaments and small ponds with miniature bridges.

It must look breathtaking during spring, when the flowers bloom and the koi fish visible beneath the water.

Stretched on the porch are Kanan and Mari in their Animagi forms, appearing comfy and right at home as if they are Dia's house pets. Riko smiles in amusement at the idea.

"Well then, the two of you owe Sakurauchi-san an explanation," Dia puts away the broom and conjures a cushion for her guest on the porch before pointing her wand at her friends.

Mari purrs lazily and flops against Kanan, who lolls her tongue and wags her long tail. Riko couldn't help but giggle at the sight.

Dia's tense shoulders relax slightly as she lowers her wand and sighs in resignation. "Again, I apologize for their behavior, Sakurauchi-san. I hope you were not forcibly taken away from family gatherings or other engagements."

"It's okay, Kurosawa-san. I'm rather… humbled to be able to come here," Riko suddenly feels out of place, since she hasn't known any of the three older witches for long. The adrenaline has faded enough for the timid side of her to surface, making her drop her gaze uncertainly.

Dia furrows her brows and resumes glaring at the wolf and cat. Like chided children, the two Animagi transform back.

"We do this every year, Dia."

"Yes, but why did you involve Sakurauchi-san?"

"We thought she might like some company. It's New Year's, yes?"

As if on cue, a grandfather clock chimes somewhere behind the shoji doors, signaling that is is already midnight. Kanan and Mari share a grin before pouncing on their friend in a group hug.

"Happy birthday, Dia!"

The Kurosawa heiress stumbles a little but accepts her friends' fervent attention with grace. Riko frantically checks her pockets and despairs when she only finds her wand and nothing else. Then again, nothing would have been good enough to count as a present anyway.

"I didn't know it's your birthday, Kurosawa-san, I'm sorry I didn't bring a gift-"

"Do not fret, you did not know and it seems like you were brought here abruptly in the first place," Dia sends another withering glare at her smirking friends. "Besides, you have already given me a present."

"I have?"

"You seem to like the way I have arranged the garden, a small personal project that I am rather proud of," Dia holds her chin high and gives her an uncharacteristic child-like smile. As if embarrassed by the slip in composure, she then coughs and gestures for Riko to follow her onto the porch. "I am glad to have you here, Sakurauchi-san. Let us go inside where it is more comfortable, and I will bring some refreshments."

"Hehe, we shall party all night long~! Are you ready, Rikocchi?" Mari lunges at Riko's back, placing her hands on the younger girl's shoulder to usher her.

"Mari and I have prepared quite the cake, we'll definitely need your help to finish it," Kanan folds her arms behind her head and brings up the rear as the four witches enter the house.

The amiable atmosphere makes Riko's heart flutter in joy, something she hasn't permitted herself to feel since that incident. Before Dia could close the shoji door behind them, a horned owl swoops down and deposits a parcel onto her hands. Riko vaguely recognizes the bird as Dia's familiar, but what catches her attention is the small forlorn smile on Dia's visage as the latter inspects the present and the card attached to it.

She is familiar with such expression - sorrow and helplessness carefully veiled so that friends would not worry. Before she realizes it, she has already placed a comforting hand on Dia's arm, wishing she could do more for the older girl.

Dia gazes at her solemnly and repeats what she said earlier, in a softer voice. "I am glad to have you here, Sakurauchi-san."

Riko smiles. "I'm glad to be here too."

And it's not because she wouldn't have to endure loneliness back home, but because she gets to spend more time in Dia's company.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Riko ended up spending the remainder of the holidays at the Kurosawa Estate with Kanan and Mari. As the heiress, Dia had many duties and was rarely seen until well after dinner time, so Riko was left in the other two witches' rather enjoyable company.

Kanan seems to know exactly when she is feeling down and would provide comforting words, while Mari's unpredictability doesn't even give her the time to feel melancholic. Through them, Riko learns a lot about the Kurosawa family, of how they hold great pride in their Pureblood status and does segregate the Muggleborns and mixed lineages. While it isn't wholly in a condescending way, they do believe that they have special privileges as descendants of an ancient bloodline.

This is the reason why Kanan and Mari are unable to enter the Estate through the front entrance, as Kanan is a Muggleborn and Mari has Muggle heritage. The Sakurauchi line has diluted over the centuries, with marriages to Muggleborns or Half-bloods and so on. Therefore, even though Riko's mother and paternal grandmother are Purebloods, the traces of Muggle lineages in her blood would have barred her entry as well. Dia has specially set up her private wing so that her friends could enter via the forest trail.

Riko doesn't know why, but Kanan and Mari seem to enjoy sharing Dia's little secrets with her, such as Dia's favorite dessert or her borderline-fangirl idolization of the Deputy Headmistress. Even then, Riko only grows more fond of the austere heiress, finding these uncharacteristic sides of her rather cute and make her more approachable.

However, there is one topic even Kanan and Mari would not touch upon, respecting their friend's privacy. Riko has only caught glimpses of Ruby from afar, for the younger Kurosawa lives on the other side of the Estate under the elders' careful scrutiny. From what Riko could deduce, Ruby's magical abilities, while much better than average witches', are not up to the Kurosawa's standards and thus she is allowed very little freedom. The siblings only get to interact with each other during lessons and meal times, though Riko could tell that Dia cares about her little sister very much and vice versa.

Still, everything is merely speculation. Dia never elaborates much, and Riko doesn't pry. Family politics isn't something an outsider like her could interfere with after all.

"Ohayousorou!" "Riko-chan, you're early!"

Riko smiles warmly at her two best friends, who envelopes her in bear hugs the moment they spot her at the train station. The relaxing holidays are therapeutic enough for her to face Chika and You again.

It's a new year and the second term of their Second Year at Hogwarts. She is ready to confront her demons.

There's just something magical about Chika and You, for they easily break through her reserves and soon after, she finds herself laughing with them as they settle down in their compartment. She misses Chika's silly puns and adoration of mikans. She misses You's piles of fashion magazines and spirited salutes. She recalls how some of her Ravenclaw peers questioned her choice of company, considering the Gryffindor duo's less than mediocre grades and boisterous disposition. Even now, her answer is still the same.

They may be dorks, but they're her dorks. Her precious, courageous friends who didn't even hesitate in throwing themselves in harm's way to protect her.

"Hmm? Is there something on my face, Riko-chan?"

I stared too much. Blinking, Riko flusters and is about to wave it off when she does notice bits of chocolate dotting Chika's cheek. Chuckling fondly, she points it out and waits for You to clean it up like she usually does.

To her surprise, You merely nudges and teases Chika, while the latter grumbles good-naturedly and wipes her own cheek. Riko shrugs away the peculiarity and soon their conversation falls back to normal.

However, as time goes by, Riko notices more and more of the nearly indiscernible distance between them. Sure, Chika and You still act buddy-buddy with each other, but nowhere is the closeness they share as a couple. Back then, as long as they're only in Riko's company, they would inadvertently express their affection for one another.

Those cute secretive glances they share, shy blushes and content smiles, where have they gone?

Hoping she is just being paranoid, Riko forces out a chuckle. "You know you don't have to hold back around me. Thanks for the consideration, but I'd rather you just be yourselves."

The duo looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"Usually you'd hold hands or, um, you'd kiss You-chan's cheek just to make her flustered-?"

"Eh! W-W-Why would Chika-chan do that?" You sounds shocked while Chika's jaw drops. "Why this all of a sudden, Riko-chan?"

Dread settles in her stomach but she persists. "But, that's normal for a couple, right-?"

"We're not a couple!" The duo denies simultaneously. "We're best friends, Riko-chan. We've known each other forever, it'd be weird if we go out..."

Riko feels numb while their words reverberate in her chaotic mind. But that's exactly it! Both of you have crushes on each other as long as you can remember! You both confided in me, that you didn't want to ruin your lifelong friendship, so neither of you did anything! I was the one who managed to make you two confess!

Color drains from Riko's face as realization claws at her. And I was the one who took away all that. I Oblivated you both, and because I was too weak and inept, you had to save me and shield me and you paid the price and lost so much-

"Riko-chan?!" "Where are you going-?"

Filled with nausea, she runs out of their compartment and past startled students down the hallway. She needs to go somewhere secluded but she is practically trapped on the train. She opens the connecting doors and enters the next cart, then the cart after that, and more, just to get as far away as possible.

Suddenly, she runs into someone and almost tumbles backwards if it weren't for steady hands wrapped around her. She looks up to see Kanan's concerned expression and feels a familiar sting at the corner of her eyes. Before tears could leak out, Kanan pulls her into a warm hug.

Somewhere behind, she could hear Mari chatting with Chika and You, who must have run after her. It seems like the blonde is successful at diverting their attention, for soon their voices become inaudible beyond the connecting doors.

"We'll take care of Chika and You, you just keep going to the last compartment in the next cart, okay?" Kanan murmurs gently near her head before loosening her hold. Giving her one more encouraging pat, the ponytailed girl leaves her to her thoughts.

Riko dabs at her eyes and swallows the lump in her throat. Really, how could she ever repay them for their kindness?

Taking a deep breath, she follows Kanan's instruction and soon reaches the destination. Gingerly, she knocks on the door and pulls it open after hearing the occupant's permission.

Dia appears taken aback, a textbook still open in her lap as emerald eyes glance at her up and down. "Sakurauchi-san, what happened-?"

"M-May I stay here, please?"

"Of course."

Riko hastily enters the compartment and closes the door behind her, hoping her movement isn't as embarrassingly desperate as she thinks.

Rather than gesturing at the empty spot opposite of her, Dia scoots away from the window to make space. Riko gratefully takes the seat, prepared to wallow in melancholy while staring out of the window.

Yet the silence doesn't last for long. The warm and dependable presence beside her soothes her, and soon she finds herself opening her own books and discussing several topics with Dia.

A part of her hopes the train would never stop, though she doesn't understand where such thought came from.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The second term is hard, not just from her personal issues but from the intensive courses as well. Now that she's aspired to become a Mediwitch, she has discussed with her Head of the House and Deputy Headmistress, receiving permission to take Advanced courses for various subjects.

This change in schedule allows her to spend more time with the three Fourth-Years and less time with Chika and You, which has its pros and cons. While the heavy workload distracts her enough that she would not feel guilty distancing herself from her best friends, she also longs for their company and all the what-ifs had she never found that accursed quill.

While Chika and You not being a couple still bothers her, she's able to pretend nothing is wrong since they are usually at the library or around other students. Like old times, she enjoys helping them with their assignments and even berating them for their antics. Sometimes Kanan would join them, and with the older witch as mediator, she's able to achieve a sense of normalcy.

Due to them sharing the same House, Riko also spends quite a lot of time in Mari's company. The blonde's randomness, while exasperating and rather irritating at times, is just her way of showing affection. Riko subconsciously begins to think of Mari as a sister and a part of her likes to believe that Mari thinks the same too.

And there's Dia. The Slytherin prefect, as a Head Girl candidate, is very busy with various duties just as she had been back at the Estate, yet she is always there for Riko whenever she needs her. Since that time on the train, Riko has consciously acknowledged Dia as a place of refuge, though she realizes that it's been the case all along since that fateful day.

Also, whenever their eyes meet in the hallways, Dia would nod or smile at her, and such simple acknowledgement is enough to lift her spirits for the rest of the day.

Their secret group of four still meet at Dia's prefect dorm, as it grants them enough privacy, but soon they notice that the space is no longer big enough to accommodate their research or practice sessions. Riko almost wants to suggest the Hut, her old hideout with Chika and You back then, but she feels sick at the thought of returning there. As if understanding her dilemma, the three Fourth-Years never mention it either.

It is by pure luck that, two months into the second term, they discover the Room of Requirement. Riko's pet Kneazle Sandy, a loyal and intelligent familiar, would often wander around the Castle with Animagus Mari, and that's how they ended up stumbling upon the odd door opposite of the troll tapestry on the 7th floor.

This almost-sentient room provides anything they need, and they are able to train and study to their heart's content. However, in spite of the available resources, they have no breakthroughs on those enigmatic black feathers found on those hooded assailants. There just aren't enough samples to analyze these magic-imbued items, and whichever diagnostic spells cast upon them bring an array of results that could not be categorized.

The frustration only pushes her to study and improve herself more.

"Sakurauchi-san, perhaps it is best that we call it a day."

"N-No, Kurosawa-san, I haven't even gotten past your defense, let alone disarm you."

Panting, Riko raises her wand again and attempts to aim in spite of her trembling arm. She knows that she is well over her limit but this isn't enough. An enemy would not take pity on her just because she is exhausted.

Her spell dissipates upon hitting the invisible shield Charm around Dia, who simply stands there. In fact, she has barely moved since their duel began. And she hasn't even unsheathed her saber.

"You were never this stubborn, Sakurauchi-san, what happened?" Dia speaks in a severe tone, and Riko cringes like a child caught red-handed. Frowning, Dia glances over at the grand ornate mirror at the corner of the room and lets out a deep sigh.

"You must stay away from the Mirror of Erised. It will only do you more harm than good."

Riko lowers her head, ashamed yet unable to admit her faults. Sometimes the pang of longing becomes too much, and she finds herself staring woefully at the reflection for possibly hours. Within the mirror, she is happy, Chika and You are still a couple, and they are in their Fifth Years and have successfully passed their N.E.W.T.s.

"... if only Ruby and I are Muggleborns, or even other Purebloods, we might be happier."

Puzzled, Riko looks up to find Dia staring wistfully at the direction of the Mirror.

"I am proud of my family history, and so does she. It is my great pride and joy to be entrusted various responsibilities as the heiress, to be able to live up to and surpass my family's expectations. But, at the end of the day, what is the point, if my own little sister cannot be happy? Am I… happy?"

"... Kurosawa-san?" Riko tentatively approaches the older girl, whose expression is oddly calm and devoid of turmoil in spite of the sadness laced in her tone.

"All of that is merely wishful thinking, is it not? The Mirror shows us what we desire, and that is just that, a desire. It will never become reality."

Riko winces. She knows that, the rational side of her has always known, but the pitifully hopeful part of her refuses to see the truth.

"I am not saying these to discourage you, Sakurauchi-san." Dia's voice is quiet and lulls Riko into a peaceful state of mind. "We could work as hard as we could, to try to make that desire a reality, but it is also important to acknowledge your own limit. After all, how can you achieve your goal, if you collapse along the way?"

Riko tucks her wand inside her pocket and offers a weak smile. "Right. I'll rest and strive to become even better the next day."

"Good. We will resume the duel tomorrow." Before Dia moves to tidy up the area, Riko grasps for her sleeve, stopping her. "Yes?"

"Um, I was just…" Truth be told, Riko doesn't know why she did that, but she feels like there's something she should do, especially after the taller witch disclosed a rather personal secret. Peering up shyly, she then notices dark circles under Dia's eyes. "You need to rest too, Kurosawa-san."

"I will, but there are still some tasks I need to finish before-"

"No. Like what you've just told me, you need to rest too." Normally, Riko would've felt weird using such a firm tone towards a senior, but she sincerely hopes Dia would listen to her. The heiress has always appeared indomitable, but up close, signs of fatigue could not be hidden.

A revelation then occurs to Riko. "Is it because... I'm taking too much of your time? You've already helped me so much with my assignments, dueled and researched with me-"

"Not at all. I… I enjoy being with you. Helping you I mean," Dia looks away and puts on a stern expression before returning her gaze to the shorter girl. "I am well aware of my own limit. I just need a few more hours or less. You should head back to your dorm-"

"Then let me help you. What is it? Is it organizing the list of students for the Hogsmeade trip?"

"Sakurauchi-san…"

"Please."

They stare at each other for a while, neither willing to relent. Surprisingly, it is Dia who averts her eyes first, and Riko cheers inwardly while maintaining a calm expression. "Very well. I just have some paperwork…"

Perhaps it is sometime after midnight that they have finished everything. Riko stretches, her limbs burning with fatigue and neck stiff from the lack of movement, but her mind feels oddly awake. It feels rather refreshing, to work hard on something that has nothing to do with those feathers or the academic workload.

"You would make a good prefect, Sakurauchi-san."

Riko shakes her head, pleased but also flustered by the compliment. "You think so?"

"I know so. You have the right type of mentality to commit yourself to such demanding position," Dia murmurs thoughtfully, "I am certain many professors would not object, and Professor Toujou may have already placed you as a candidate already… although, she was the one who gave the prefect badge to Mari-san last year…"

"Did I hear my name?"

Blinking, Riko looks towards the door to see Mari strolling in with Kanan behind her. The two Animagi would usually patrol the school grounds at Dia's request, the cat around the Castle and the wolf in the Forbidden Forest. While the hooded figures haven't been seen since that day, they agree that it's prudent to stay on guard while searching for clues. So far, nothing has been found but at least they did understand the domain so much better now.

"Right… I think I sort of remember, in my First Year," Riko did wonder why the prefect had changed to a different witch within a week.

"Too much work. I enjoy my free time, thank you very much~" Mari shrugs with the kind of nonchalance that she knows would tick off Dia. The Slytherin pinches the bridge of her nose, as if to rein in her temper.

Ever the peacemaker, most of the time anyway, Kanan gives Riko a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Well, I agree with Dia, you'd make a wonderful prefect, Riko-chan."

"Speaking of which, what're you doing here still? I'd thought Dia would've sent you off to bed already, like the fussy mother hen she is~" Mari's grin only widens when Dia glares at her.

"Sakurauchi-san was very helpful, unlike someone," Dia huffs as she organizes the various parchments on the desk. "But yes, now that we are finished here, we should all retire. It has been a long day."

Riko almost feels reluctant to leave, but after they descend the stairs and reach the intersection, Dia turns to her and bids her goodnight before parting ways.

It is only after the two Ravenclaws arrive at their Dormitory that Mari giggles. "You should smile more often, Rikocchi. It fits you, and makes you look very cute~!"

Blushing, she immediately scowls and ignores her senior's smirk as she heads for her room.

The rest of term passes by rather uneventfully. Riko pours all of her efforts in those Advances classes, aiming to pass her O.W.L.s when her peers are just starting to prepare for the mock exams. Guilt will probably always lurk at the corner of her mind, but she is able to use it as fuel for her determination and she isn't as prone to bouts of depression anymore.

True to her promise to Dia, she balances her studies with sleep while making sure the older witch does the same. Mari, and even Kanan, would tease her about how they have never been able to get Dia to listen to them before. Riko is dubious of that claim, considering how close the three Fourth-Years are, for she is simply a kouhai fortunate enough to be tutored by the talented Slytherin.

Still, it makes her rather giddy to know she has certain influence over Dia.

By the end of the term, Riko could very well admit that she's tired and looks forward to the summer break. Those O.W.L. exams are indeed as stressful as the rumors, though she couldn't quite relax yet, not until she receives her grades. Unlike the rest of the applicants, she would know the results sooner since they're needed for her to plan her course schedule for the next year.

When she does receive the notification, she is utterly stunned, since she hasn't expected to receive Outstanding on all her O.W.L.s. She almost thought the parchment in her hand is a prank, but the Ministry of Magic's seal is proof enough.

Ecstatic, she clutches the document close to her heart and searches through the school for that one person to share her joy with. While her grades are the result of her hard work, she hadn’t accomplished it by her lonesome after all. Now that she has regained her sense of self-worth, she feels more confident in challenging the unknown in the future.

One day, she will definitely recover Chika and You's memories, and resolve the mystery behind those attackers.

She spots the Slytherin prefect walking down the hallway ahead of her and, before she realizes it, she is already calling out her name.

"Dia-san!"

Startled, Dia whirls around with an eyebrow arched. Riko is only vaguely aware that she is babbling, but she could no longer contain her joy as she shares the results of her exams with the older witch.

" - so because of these, I can continue on to take N.E.W.T. level course. Ah, of course, it will be another full year before I can even attempt tackling those exams but, I believe I can do it. No, I will do it!"

Now that she's finished speaking, she peers up at Dia and tries not to fidget under those intense emerald eyes. Slightly embarrassed by her outburst and out of character behavior, she is about to apologize when Dia holds out her hand and smiles gently.

"Congratulations, Riko-san. I too, believe in you."

Even though it had been a slip of tongue on her part, Riko is quite pleased to hear the senior return the gesture. Their distance has dwindled one more step, and that delights Riko in a way different than her marks.

She tries to fight down the flutters in her stomach as she shakes Dia's hand, relishing in the warmth and the simple connection between two people.

"Thank you, for everything, Dia-san."

TBC in part2

[graymalkyn]

WOW DUDE, I LOVE YOUR WRITING!! You dont have to do it now or anything! Im more than happy with this resting in your inbox if requests arent open, but... How would V react to seeing Yoosung hurt? Like idk, if one of V's coworkers said something mean to the blonde boo, or someone else? And Yoosung just feels really bad. IdkaboutyoubutIreallywanttoseeanangryV I hope youre having a good time!

Aahahaha, thanks! ^^ I’m sitting here laughing because at first I was like, “What requests? *insert confused face*” So I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you, because angry!V just doesn’t happen in my headcanon. Nope. V is a ball of sunshine. I guess. Maybe. Anyway, here it is, longer than I expected OTL (It takes place during the Christmas event.)

Drawing the curtain behind him, Yoosung tiredly rested hisback against the cold concrete wall and let out a sigh. He rubbed his sweatypalms over his stomach – he hated that bubbling sensation that he sometimesgot, starvation and satiation at the same time. But it had been a long week. Itwas chilly outside, his legs were tired, and he’d barely had anything to drink,and…

A tear rolled down Yoosung’s face. He quickly wiped it offwith the back of his sleeve.

“Yoosung?” Jihyuncalled from beyond the curtain.

Yoosung swallowed hard and pinched his cheeks. Smile, smile! “I’m here!” he saidmerrily. “Merry Christmas!”

Jihyun grinned. “Merry Christmas, love. Sorry I’m late, butthe traffic is terrible. I’m glad it was Driver Kim at the wheel, otherwise we’dstill be stuck there.” He closed the distance between them and kissed him onthe forehead. “It’s so cold here! Are you on a break? Let’s go and get yousomething warm.”

Yoosung shook his head. “It’s okay, I don’t think I can eatanything right now. Oh? Ah, you’re wearing the gloves? Jihyun!” he whined. “We were supposed to exchangepresents tomorrow morning, why did you open it today? It’s so unfair, now what are we going to do…?”

“I really wanted to wear them, sorry! Just as I was leavinghome this morning I thought it would be great if I could wear them, since I’dbe working on location…” Jihyun tilted his head. “Are you mad at me now?”

Yoosung looked down. “No,” he replied jadedly. “No, it’s okay.That’s why I got them, I guess. Sorry for snapping.”

With gloved fingers, Jihyun lifted his chin and gazed intohis eyes. “Yoosung?”

A frustrated sigh escaped the young man, but he bit his lipsand looked away.

“Awww, was that a pout?” Jihyun teased him. “Are you goingto start sulking? We cannot really get all lovey-dovey right now, thefundraiser’s still got a couple more hours before it’s over.” He was about tonuzzle him, but Yoosung pulled away. Jihyun’s smile faded away. “Love?”

“It’s nothing serious.”

“Just tell me.”

“There’s nothing you can do about it. Damn, there’s nothing I can do about it,” Yoosung snapped. Hecovered his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly.

Jihyun pressed his forehead against Yoosung’s and strokedhis shoulders in a comforting way. “Do tell me. It might make you feel better.”

The VIP area was at full capacity. Considering thedemand from the year before, Yoosung had prepared a plan to make the packagemore desirable, which had resulted in the tickets being sold out in recordtime. As he was passing by the area filled with glasses with warm cider andplates with exquisite delicacies that Jaehee had supplied them with, he overheard some of the people on the firstrow.

“Even if it’s an RFA event sponsored by C&R, I’m suremost of us are here for Zen, not for Jumin Han.”

“Either of them is more than fine, and it’d be especiallygood if they came together. Too bad they’re all slated to appear at the end,together with V.”

“The photographer? Tell me about it – I’ve been dying tomeet him for a year now! That’s why I got these tickets this time.”

“I know what you mean. Even if it’s a 30-secondmeet-and-greet, it could be totally worth it. He’s so handsome!”

“Ah, but nobody’s more handsome than Zen.”

“Excuse me? Have you seen Jumin Han’s back in those tightsuits? He’s the most perfect man - he and his millions.”

“They’re all perfect. This event is a blessing, truly.” Asthe woman turned around to get another glass of cider, she bumped into Yoosung,who had finally managed to get hold of some hot chocolate. “Ow!”

“I’m terribly sorry!” Yoosung bowed politely.

“You’d better be! You could have spilled that drink on me,sheesh!” The woman angrily snatched the glass of cider and turned her back onYoosung. “Can you believe that guy? He almost ruined my coat!”

“He did? Who is he?”

“That little guy? Just an employee.”

“How plain; he’s just probably lucky to be here.”

Yoosung left the mug on the table practically untouched ashe walked away, trying not to bump into anyone else.

“I know it’s stupid to feel this way,” he said softly, “butI can’t help feeling that they’re right. I mean, next to you guys, I’m still—”

“No.”

Yoosung looked up, surprised. If Jihyun’s warm hands weren’tstill touching him, he could have sworn that there was an ice statue standingbefore him. He was once again reminded that turquoises were stones, cold andhard. But that was not what the man before him had always shown him. “Jihyun…”he called gently. “It’s okay…”

“It is not okay.” He grabbed Yoosung by the back of his headand pulled him into an embrace. “You… Why is it always so easy for you toignore your own worth? Don’t listen to those people. They don’t know you. Whywould it matter?”

“It doesn’t!” Yoosung exclaimed. “I know it doesn’t matter!But I don’t know, it’s also true—”

“Yoosung!”

“But isn’t it? Everyone loves the catering Jaehee prepared.Since she left C&R, she’s made a name for herself. Zen is fully booked forthe next couple of years. Jumin is Jumin. And you…! I can’t be objective aboutyou anymore. Seven is invisible and he’s used to it, so then it’s just me beingonly me – a personal assistant who’s still in college. It’s easy to feel likeI don’t matter.”

“Oh, Yoosung,” Jihyun sighed, rocking him gently. “There’s alot I could say about you, and I will, once we get home.” A chime let them knowit was time to proceed with the introductions of the guests. “Will you stillpoint out the ladies for me when they come to greet me?”

“No way!” Yoosung said, taking a step back and grabbing hisearpiece and iPad. “I know you always have good intentions, but I didn’t tellyou about it so that you could find a solution. This is my problem,” he said,before he walked away briskly.

“May I have your attention, please?” Jihyun smiled as hegrabbed the microphone from the stand.

“What on earth…” Yoosung muttered. He turned to Jumin, whohad just arrived. “Forgive me, but Jihyun seems to have mistaken his turn to speak—”

“I allowed it,” Jumin replied. “He was visibly upset aboutwhat those ladies said about you.”

I’m going to kill him,Yoosung thought.

“Good evening, everyone. Thank you for coming to the annual RFAall-charity fundraiser sponsored by C&R. My name is V, and I’m glad towelcome you, especially in this time of the year and in this weather. As westand in this tent, surrounded by the warmth of friends and family, we takemany things for granted: those who have no home to go back to when the day isdone, or those who need a helping hand or a friendly ear but cannot have it.How lucky are those of us who have someone like that?” The silence was brokenby a general murmur of consent. “We the people at RFA are especially lucky, forwe have someone who is all of that and more, and his name is Yoosung Kim.”

Oh no.

“Oh. I didn’t realize this could become somewhat embarrassing,” Jumin said, folding hisarms across the chest and noticing that Yoosung had hidden behind him.

“What’s this all about?” Zen wondered, standing by them.

“Someone spoke ill of Yoosung,” Jaehee murmured.

“Eeeh? Who would? Yoosung’s the best of all of us,” Sevensaid.

“When this organization lost direction and we questioned itscontinuity, it was Yoosung who inspired us to continue with its legacy. When wewent through hard times, he was there to support us in any way he could around the clock.” Jihyun made a pause.

“Oh, he’s angry,” Jumin said, frowning.

“Huh? Excuse me? How can you tell?” Zen asked.

“How can you not?” Jumin wondered.

“Because people express emotions with their bodies andvoices, and I see no anger there, you jerk!” Zen exclaimed.

“Must you resort to name-calling?” Jumin sighed. “I supposeit can’t be helped if you don’t see it.”

“Shush, you two!” Seven said, slapping them on the back.

“He’s our youngest member, and in spite of having tomaintain a scholarship to finish his PhD, he works full time, and hevolunteered to organize this event.” V gripped the microphone a little tighter,his voice slightly trembling. “He inspires us to become better just by being himself.We are the ones that have to keep up with him on a daily basis. And to me…”

“Oh God, I can’t hear this!” Yoosung said, covering hiseyes.

“That’s not what you’re supposed to cover if you don’t wantto hear,” Jumin noted.

“Jumin Han, you idiot!” Zen hissed. “Can’t you see he’s embarrassed?”

“To me, he’s the reason I’m standing here. It is because ofhis encouragement that today I can share my view of the world with you, and letme tell you: the world is a most wondrous place because people like Yoosung Kimlive in it.” He took a step forward and looked at the crowd defiantly. “Thereare many Jumin Hans, and many more like me, and yet, without someone like him,we could have no idea of the daily struggles people go through. It is peoplelike him that we need so that in the future, useless things like VIPclassifications will no longer matter. We must learn who is worth gold, and whois only gold-plated.”

“Okay, I think it’s time to stop him now before he starts offending people,” Jaehee saidalarmed, trying to get Seven to stop cackling. “Yoosung, go out there rightnow!”

“What?! No!” Yoosung cried. “After all that, I’ll never beable to show my face in public again!”

“Just… Just get him to stop talking,” Jumin said, his voicetrembling.

Zen grabbed Yoosung by the wrist and dragged him out to thestage. “Hello everyone!” he shouted, flashing a smile. The crowd startedcheering, but they soon turned to wondering the identity of the young man withthe crimson face that was being towed. Zen took the microphone from V’s hand ratherunceremoniously and handed it to Yoosung. “Introduce yourself!” he hissed.

Yoosung’s eyes opened wide and turned to Jihyun, who wassmiling charmingly. He gave Yoosung a little wink that only the two of themcould see, which made Yoosung chuckle. He looked ahead and bowed. “He-Helloeveryone… My name is Yoosung Kim.”

For a moment the crowd remained silent, but then franticclapping and cheering erupted from all corners of the tent.

As he clapped, V moved closer to Yoosung and whispered inhis ear, “Never doubt yourself.” He stepped back for a few seconds but then heseemed to remember something. “Oh, and when the meet-and-greet comes, kindlypoint out the ladies that said those things about you.”

“Like hell I will,” Yoosung hissed under his breath.

“Shall I do something more embarrassing in front of allthese people, then?” Jihyun teased.

Yoosung shuddered as he replied, “The four ladies wearingfur on the first row.”

“Thank you, love,” Jihyun grinned, gently patting him on theback and waving to the crowd.