#hopefully this interlude showcases their relationship

[athyrabunlord]

LLSHP Interlude - Carbonado (1)

Arc1: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]

Arc2: [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14]

Arc3: [Chapter 15 -  Under The Black Lake (TBD)]

Interlude: [Carbonado (1)] [Carbonado (2)] [Of Feathers and Wind] [Delphinus (teaser blip)]

[Brief note about School Term] [other LLSHP AU stuff] [YohaMaRuby concept arts] [ChikaYouRiko concept arts] [KanaDiaMari concept arts] [Hogwarts Staff]

[FFN link] (finished the interludes!) [Pixiv Link]

A/N: I should be writing LLSHP 11, I really should, but I can’t get this out of my head OTL No way I can wait until the whole story is finished to write this behind-the-scenes chapter, so here it is, a DiaRiko special interlude. It shows how their relationship develops prior to the beginning of the main story and up to chapter 10. And somehow it got so long I had to split in two parts

[You don’t necessarily have to read the main story to understand this one, but there are a lot of connections so it’s highly recommended you do, to appreciate Dia and Riko’s bond]

Words: 7,181

Riko Sakurauchi is vaguely aware of the pleasant floral scent as she starts to break away from sleep. The pillow feels more comfortable than she could remember, coaxing her to snuggle and drift back to blissful oblivion. How long has it been since she has felt this relaxed, this sated from rest?

Something odd about her whereabouts prickles at the back of her mind, enough that she is forced to blink her eyes open to assess the situation. Silky green and silver greet her as she sweeps her gaze around the familiar yet unfamiliar room.

Slytherin… the prefect dorm-?

Her eyes widen a fraction when she locates another girl seated on the window sill, reading a thick tome. The light that filtered through the panes is Charmed to resemble sunlight, but retains the Lake's unique tints since this is the Slytherin Dungeon as opposed to the Ravenclaw Tower. Dia Kurosawa's silhouette is enveloped in that soft glow, giving her an unapproachable yet picturesque aura, like a painting to be admired from afar.

Disorientated from vestiges of sleep still, Riko sluggishly gets up in a sitting position.

"Good afternoon, Sakurauchi-san."

Riko tilts her head. "Good afternoon, Kurosawa-san… h-how long have I been asleep? And, how did I get here-?"

Dia slightly lowers her head, the book now closed in her lap as she turns to face Riko. "Apologies. It has come to my attention that you have not had much sleep the past few days. Therefore, when I found you napping in the living room, I took it upon myself to place you on my bed, as it would be more comfortable than the chair."

Fragmented memories of her reading books come to mind. Riko coyly meets the older witch's concerned eyes. "Thank you, for everything. I know I must be intruding and-" She jolts in realization and tries to get off the bed. "Oh, I'm so sorry for taking up space, I didn't mean to just fall asleep and-"

"Sakurauchi-san, it is fine. I did not feel sleepy last night anyway, and a few hours of nap on the couch is more than adequate." Dia is now standing beside her, her hand gentle but also firm on her shoulder as if to keep her from leaving the bed. "You need to rest more than I do."

Riko sighs shakily. That brief sense of contentment from earlier seems like a figment of her imagination, now that reality has caught up again. "H-How is-?"

"Takami-san and Watanabe-san are fine. Kanan-san is taking care of them, and I have requested Mari-san to inform me should anything peculiar happens." Dia summons one of the chairs beside the desk and places it close to the bed before sitting down.

Kanan Matsuura is Chika and You's childhood friend and someone they both look up to, while Mari Ohara is her fellow Ravenclaw Housemate with a reputation for her quirkiness and brilliant grades at many courses. The two seniors are also Dia Kurosawa's most trustworthy friends, and have been helping her cope with that terrible incident just as much as Dia has.

She didn't know them back then and neither did they, yet circumstances had brought them together and, already, they have done so much for her.

"I see. Thank you, again, for…" Riko swallows the huge lump in her throat. "I'm not ready to face them yet."

"Of course, that is understandable." Dia's husky voice is kind. "However, you will need to face them eventually. The first term may be over soon, but surely they would like to see you before they go home for the holidays, and vice versa."

Riko gives her a slow nod, not trusting herself to speak any longer. Despondency soon devolves to dread while guilt makes it difficult to breathe. She could still hear Chika's agonized scream as those hooded figures struck her down with a Cruciatus Curse. She could still see the blood staining You's robe and fair hair when she blocked a cutting Hex from hitting her. Most of all, their blank eyes when she desperately wipes their mind clean of the incident, of their research group, of her…

"Shhh, it is okay. Let it out."

A hand is gently caressing her back, and Riko does find it easier to breathe after a while.

"You should not have involved yourself with me. Kanan-san and Mari-san too," she chokes out, her voice feeble and strained.

"But we are," Dia says evenly. "We share a common foe, a common goal. What happened has happened. We are in this together now, Sakurauchi-san. Please do not hesitate to depend on us more."

Riko flinches from the selfless offer. She understands the gist of the Kurosawa heiress' situation, that those hooded figures are the same ones that attacked the Pureblood for reasons unknown. Even then, she is grateful for the company and support. She wouldn't know where she would be now, if Dia and her friends hadn't found her curled up beside Chika and You's prone bodies. She was a complete sobbing mess then, and she refuses to become one again.

She swallows down a whimper and subconsciously pulls the blanket closer so the floral aroma fills and soothes her sense once more. "Thank you, Kurosawa-san."

Dia's small smile is just as warm as it was back at the campsite.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

'Depending on the proficiency of the Charm, memories are either suppressed or irreversibly erased. Therefore, it is possible to recover those memories-'

Riko stares hard at the wizened page of a thick tome she had managed to find from her family library. She is by no means an expert in the Memory Charm, but if she is trained properly and learns as much as she could about spells and the body, she might be able to reclaim the memories she had wiped from Chika and You's minds.

This is it then, her new goal. Surely, by becoming a Mediwitch, she would be qualified to do just that.

Sighing tiredly, she rubs the bridge of her nose and sinks back against the chair. At least she has accomplished something today. The holidays have been horrid so far, as she is unable to speak to her parents about what truly transpired at school due to that accursed Unbreakable Vow. Other than the feeble excuse of wanting to research and study more, she could not explain to them the reason behind her distance and subdued demeanor.

Chika and You have been sending her letters, their lively entries bringing her both joy and guilt. Their parting at King's Cross Station was awkward and brusque, with her making pitiful excuses about family commitments. She doesn't understand why the duo is still so attached to her, since the Memory Charm should have eradicated everything and made her a simple classmate to them. Yet, it is as if the whole mess with the quill never happened and they are still close friends.

I miss them. So much...

At least, according to those letters, they don't seem to be suffering from any aftereffects of the spell and are as energetic as ever.

Riko slaps her own cheeks and stands up determinedly. This is no time to be despondent. While her family library isn't as vast as Hogwarts' collection, she is certain that she would discover valuable information. It feels therapeutic even, studying and researching on her own, rather than learning from a sentient quill. She feels that, by understanding the origin of something, the newfound knowledge is earned and is safe, controllable within her ability.

It's New Year's Eve today, so she might as well make the last day of the year as productive as she could.

She has no idea how many hours have gone by, but when a commotion outside snaps her concentration, she notices that the sky has turned dark. Frowning, she approaches the window with her wand out, dubious of the possibility of intruders since the Sakurauchi residence is well-Warded.

Suddenly the alabaster windows blast open with a strong gust.

"Good evening~! How is my favorite kouhai-chan doing?"

That peculiar pitch could only mean one person. Riko closes her eyes and reopens them again just to make sure she isn't hallucinating. There, mounted on a majestic Hippogriff, is Mari Ohara with her signature Cheshire grin. She has never been particularly close to the flaky senpai, so how did the blonde find out where she lives and why is she here?

Her inner question must have been obvious on her face, for Mari holds up her finger and says. "Just want to confirm something, Rikocchi. You don't have any plans tonight, right?"

Riko hesitantly shakes her head.

"Alright~ Then you're coming with me! I've already informed your parents that I'll be borrowing you for, oh I don't know, a few days~"

"Huh? What-? Where are we-?"

"Come on!"

Mari has been helpful and encouraging so far, and her presence within the property means Riko's parents must have approved of her entry. Therefore, it wouldn't be harmful to see what the older witch wants, would it? Perhaps the loneliness over the holidays have worn Riko out more than expected, for she reaches out and takes the blonde's offered hand.

This could sort of resemble a pivotal scene in a fairytale where the prince in shining armor picks up the locked up princess with his gallant steed, except the said princess is hoarsely screeching in fear and confusion, while the said prince is cackling in glee as they soar above the clouds.

Riko regrets not rejecting the invitation outright. All she could do is cling to Mari's back as the Hippogriff sail across the sky with twirls and spins every now and then. She has never been a fan of flying growing up, preferring the Floo Network or Portkey as method of travel. And, with her recently acquired skill of Apparition, she sees no point in ever touching a broom again in her life, not after watching all the reckless stunts Chika and You pull during Quidditch.

But this is, for a lack of better word, insane!

"Lighten up, Rikocchi! Have some fun~!"

"This is so not fun, it's dangerous- yeeeeeeek!"

When they finally descend in a condensed forest, thankfully in one piece, Riko practically leaps off the Hippogriff just to savor the safe sensation of terra firma again. Her knees are still shaking though, making her glare and folded arms not as intimidating as she has hoped.

"Mari-san…"

The blonde senior has the audacity to giggle. "Oho~ Not bad, Rikocchi! Work on it a bit more and you could be as scary as Dia!"

Riko resists the urge to stomp and tries to breathe calmly. "Just where have you brought me, Mari-san?"

Mari merely winks and sends off her Hippogriff back into the night sky. With one crooking finger, she beckons Riko to follow her. Though dubious, Riko has no choice but to follow her companion through this unfamiliar landscape. The forest trail is narrow but appears to be meticulously maintained, with the hedges trimmed and the soil compressed evenly. The quiet atmosphere is not unsettling like the oppressive aura of the Forbidden Forest, but it does share that ancient and magical presence.

"Just where are we-?" Riko murmurs and is about to cast Lumos when Mari stops her with a light tap.

"No light or any traceable spells, not in this territory, at least not until the coast is clear. Ah, there she is~"

Riko tenses when she spots a large silhouette padding towards them. She blinks when the wolf smoothly transforms into a familiar ponytailed witch.

"Kanan-san?"

"Hey. Glad you could make it."

"Make it to what-?"

Kanan chuckles exasperatedly. "You didn't explain to her, Mari?"

"I want it to be a surprise~"

Riko looks between the two older girls, but she pushes the confusion away for the time being and approaches Kanan anxiously. "How are Chika-chan and You-chan? T-Their letters said you had a snowball fight-?"

"Yup! Between them and Shiitake, I had no chance!" Kanan smiles amiably as her voice softens to an understanding tone. "They are doing just fine, but they miss you a lot."

Something inside of Riko deflates and she just feels weary. "I see... I do too, so much, but I-"

She blinks in surprise when Kanan ruffles her hair. "None of that here, not today at least. Mari and I are going ahead to make sure your entry won't be detected. Will you be okay on your own for a bit?"

"S-Sure? I'm not a little kid," Riko resists the urge to pout, though it does feel oddly refreshing to be treated like this. She often has to play the older sister figure within her group of friends, so this is a pleasant change for once. "You won't explain what's going on here though-?"

"Mari's kept this a secret this long, I'll do the same," Kanan and Mari exchange a small smile before the two change into their Animagus forms.

Riko leans against a tree, her fingers nervously wrapped around her wand as the wolf and the cat darts into the shadows. She has no reason to distrust the two older witches, and this forest does lack that ominous aura as the Forbidden Forest. The whole trip so far has thrown her routine schedule of research out of loop but it isn't wholly bad. This rather reminds her of the spontaneous excursions Chika would come up with, or the rare childish adventures You would lead them around the Black Lake.

No matter how much she tries, she keeps sinking back into that quagmire of remorse. Thankfully, true to Kanan's words, she doesn't have to wait for long.

"Good evening, Sakurauchi-san. Apologies for the wait, and for Mari-san's behavior as well."

"Kurosawa-san?"

Riko is astonished to find Dia carefully descending in front of her on an unusually large broom. The Kurosawa heiress is dressed in a simple vest and jeans, an unexpected outfit for someone of her station and making her appear like a Muggleborn.

"I assume neither Mari-san nor Kanan-san explained why they have brought you here?"

Slow nod. Dia shakes her head in exasperation. "I do not understand their intention either, but perhaps it is best that we talk inside." She gestures at the forest and at a direction beyond the canopies. "This is the Kurosawa Estate, and a complex system of Wards prevent any outsiders from entering the grounds. This trail is the only method of approach via Muggle means, but we can at least fly over the Manor and enter my private wing this way. Please get seated behind me."

Humbled and just a little apprehensive, Riko glances at her surroundings one more time before sitting on the invisible cushion of the large broom. "I've never seen this kind of broom before…"

"Ah yes, this one was specifically modified to fit one extra passenger," Dia's voice is rather monotonous. "I used to fly around with my little sister."

"I didn't know you have a little sister-" Riko bites her lips but the inadvertent question has already slipped out.

"... Ruby is four years younger than me, and she will be attending Hogwarts as well, for next year." Dia clearly doesn't want to speak more on the subject, so Riko nods and gingerly holds onto the handle in front of her seat.

Once Dia ensures that Riko is secure, they effortlessly ascend over the canopy and towards the distant Manor. The maneuvers are precise and steady while maintaining decent speed, making the whole ride a pleasant experience as opposed to the heart-stopping skydiving she did with Mari earlier. Nostalgia fills her as she recalls how Dia was the Slytherin Seeker when she first came to Hogwarts, and the times she sat with Chika and You in the breachers cheering for Kanan. Chika wanted to become a Beater after seeing her childhood friend's daring strikes, while You found the agile Slytherin Seeker to be cool and aspired to become one too.

Smiling wistfully, Riko leans forward and subconsciously wraps her arms around Dia's waist as if this would fend her from the night chill and these distant memories.

If Dia has any objection to such proximity, she does not say anything. Riko relishes in the warmth as she dazedly appreciates the view below. The Kurosawa Estate is truly a sight to behold, the extensive network of buildings and ground comparable to Hogwarts itself, just on a smaller scale. The mixed style of traditional Japanese ceramic roof tiles and Western arches present a rather austere atmosphere for any onlookers.

The central Manor resembles more like a fortress than a simple residence, so Riko is slightly relieved when Dia veers off to the side and descends towards an open area closer to the hedge that encompasses the entire Estate. This private section is more simplistic in appearance, with a quaint two-story house that has wooden verandas and traditional Japanese shoji doors.

Riko has the odd sensation of something cool traveling up her body as she carefully steps onto the grass, possibly the effect of the Wards accepting her presence. Unlike the frigid night air in the forest, the surroundings feel warm from heating Charms as if she is indoors. She glances around the garden in wonder, admiring the aesthetic arrangement of ornaments and small ponds with miniature bridges.

It must look breathtaking during spring, when the flowers bloom and the koi fish visible beneath the water.

Stretched on the porch are Kanan and Mari in their Animagi forms, appearing comfy and right at home as if they are Dia's house pets. Riko smiles in amusement at the idea.

"Well then, the two of you owe Sakurauchi-san an explanation," Dia puts away the broom and conjures a cushion for her guest on the porch before pointing her wand at her friends.

Mari purrs lazily and flops against Kanan, who lolls her tongue and wags her long tail. Riko couldn't help but giggle at the sight.

Dia's tense shoulders relax slightly as she lowers her wand and sighs in resignation. "Again, I apologize for their behavior, Sakurauchi-san. I hope you were not forcibly taken away from family gatherings or other engagements."

"It's okay, Kurosawa-san. I'm rather… humbled to be able to come here," Riko suddenly feels out of place, since she hasn't known any of the three older witches for long. The adrenaline has faded enough for the timid side of her to surface, making her drop her gaze uncertainly.

Dia furrows her brows and resumes glaring at the wolf and cat. Like chided children, the two Animagi transform back.

"We do this every year, Dia."

"Yes, but why did you involve Sakurauchi-san?"

"We thought she might like some company. It's New Year's, yes?"

As if on cue, a grandfather clock chimes somewhere behind the shoji doors, signaling that is is already midnight. Kanan and Mari share a grin before pouncing on their friend in a group hug.

"Happy birthday, Dia!"

The Kurosawa heiress stumbles a little but accepts her friends' fervent attention with grace. Riko frantically checks her pockets and despairs when she only finds her wand and nothing else. Then again, nothing would have been good enough to count as a present anyway.

"I didn't know it's your birthday, Kurosawa-san, I'm sorry I didn't bring a gift-"

"Do not fret, you did not know and it seems like you were brought here abruptly in the first place," Dia sends another withering glare at her smirking friends. "Besides, you have already given me a present."

"I have?"

"You seem to like the way I have arranged the garden, a small personal project that I am rather proud of," Dia holds her chin high and gives her an uncharacteristic child-like smile. As if embarrassed by the slip in composure, she then coughs and gestures for Riko to follow her onto the porch. "I am glad to have you here, Sakurauchi-san. Let us go inside where it is more comfortable, and I will bring some refreshments."

"Hehe, we shall party all night long~! Are you ready, Rikocchi?" Mari lunges at Riko's back, placing her hands on the younger girl's shoulder to usher her.

"Mari and I have prepared quite the cake, we'll definitely need your help to finish it," Kanan folds her arms behind her head and brings up the rear as the four witches enter the house.

The amiable atmosphere makes Riko's heart flutter in joy, something she hasn't permitted herself to feel since that incident. Before Dia could close the shoji door behind them, a horned owl swoops down and deposits a parcel onto her hands. Riko vaguely recognizes the bird as Dia's familiar, but what catches her attention is the small forlorn smile on Dia's visage as the latter inspects the present and the card attached to it.

She is familiar with such expression - sorrow and helplessness carefully veiled so that friends would not worry. Before she realizes it, she has already placed a comforting hand on Dia's arm, wishing she could do more for the older girl.

Dia gazes at her solemnly and repeats what she said earlier, in a softer voice. "I am glad to have you here, Sakurauchi-san."

Riko smiles. "I'm glad to be here too."

And it's not because she wouldn't have to endure loneliness back home, but because she gets to spend more time in Dia's company.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Riko ended up spending the remainder of the holidays at the Kurosawa Estate with Kanan and Mari. As the heiress, Dia had many duties and was rarely seen until well after dinner time, so Riko was left in the other two witches' rather enjoyable company.

Kanan seems to know exactly when she is feeling down and would provide comforting words, while Mari's unpredictability doesn't even give her the time to feel melancholic. Through them, Riko learns a lot about the Kurosawa family, of how they hold great pride in their Pureblood status and does segregate the Muggleborns and mixed lineages. While it isn't wholly in a condescending way, they do believe that they have special privileges as descendants of an ancient bloodline.

This is the reason why Kanan and Mari are unable to enter the Estate through the front entrance, as Kanan is a Muggleborn and Mari has Muggle heritage. The Sakurauchi line has diluted over the centuries, with marriages to Muggleborns or Half-bloods and so on. Therefore, even though Riko's mother and paternal grandmother are Purebloods, the traces of Muggle lineages in her blood would have barred her entry as well. Dia has specially set up her private wing so that her friends could enter via the forest trail.

Riko doesn't know why, but Kanan and Mari seem to enjoy sharing Dia's little secrets with her, such as Dia's favorite dessert or her borderline-fangirl idolization of the Deputy Headmistress. Even then, Riko only grows more fond of the austere heiress, finding these uncharacteristic sides of her rather cute and make her more approachable.

However, there is one topic even Kanan and Mari would not touch upon, respecting their friend's privacy. Riko has only caught glimpses of Ruby from afar, for the younger Kurosawa lives on the other side of the Estate under the elders' careful scrutiny. From what Riko could deduce, Ruby's magical abilities, while much better than average witches', are not up to the Kurosawa's standards and thus she is allowed very little freedom. The siblings only get to interact with each other during lessons and meal times, though Riko could tell that Dia cares about her little sister very much and vice versa.

Still, everything is merely speculation. Dia never elaborates much, and Riko doesn't pry. Family politics isn't something an outsider like her could interfere with after all.

"Ohayousorou!" "Riko-chan, you're early!"

Riko smiles warmly at her two best friends, who envelopes her in bear hugs the moment they spot her at the train station. The relaxing holidays are therapeutic enough for her to face Chika and You again.

It's a new year and the second term of their Second Year at Hogwarts. She is ready to confront her demons.

There's just something magical about Chika and You, for they easily break through her reserves and soon after, she finds herself laughing with them as they settle down in their compartment. She misses Chika's silly puns and adoration of mikans. She misses You's piles of fashion magazines and spirited salutes. She recalls how some of her Ravenclaw peers questioned her choice of company, considering the Gryffindor duo's less than mediocre grades and boisterous disposition. Even now, her answer is still the same.

They may be dorks, but they're her dorks. Her precious, courageous friends who didn't even hesitate in throwing themselves in harm's way to protect her.

"Hmm? Is there something on my face, Riko-chan?"

I stared too much. Blinking, Riko flusters and is about to wave it off when she does notice bits of chocolate dotting Chika's cheek. Chuckling fondly, she points it out and waits for You to clean it up like she usually does.

To her surprise, You merely nudges and teases Chika, while the latter grumbles good-naturedly and wipes her own cheek. Riko shrugs away the peculiarity and soon their conversation falls back to normal.

However, as time goes by, Riko notices more and more of the nearly indiscernible distance between them. Sure, Chika and You still act buddy-buddy with each other, but nowhere is the closeness they share as a couple. Back then, as long as they're only in Riko's company, they would inadvertently express their affection for one another.

Those cute secretive glances they share, shy blushes and content smiles, where have they gone?

Hoping she is just being paranoid, Riko forces out a chuckle. "You know you don't have to hold back around me. Thanks for the consideration, but I'd rather you just be yourselves."

The duo looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"Usually you'd hold hands or, um, you'd kiss You-chan's cheek just to make her flustered-?"

"Eh! W-W-Why would Chika-chan do that?" You sounds shocked while Chika's jaw drops. "Why this all of a sudden, Riko-chan?"

Dread settles in her stomach but she persists. "But, that's normal for a couple, right-?"

"We're not a couple!" The duo denies simultaneously. "We're best friends, Riko-chan. We've known each other forever, it'd be weird if we go out..."

Riko feels numb while their words reverberate in her chaotic mind. But that's exactly it! Both of you have crushes on each other as long as you can remember! You both confided in me, that you didn't want to ruin your lifelong friendship, so neither of you did anything! I was the one who managed to make you two confess!

Color drains from Riko's face as realization claws at her. And I was the one who took away all that. I Oblivated you both, and because I was too weak and inept, you had to save me and shield me and you paid the price and lost so much-

"Riko-chan?!" "Where are you going-?"

Filled with nausea, she runs out of their compartment and past startled students down the hallway. She needs to go somewhere secluded but she is practically trapped on the train. She opens the connecting doors and enters the next cart, then the cart after that, and more, just to get as far away as possible.

Suddenly, she runs into someone and almost tumbles backwards if it weren't for steady hands wrapped around her. She looks up to see Kanan's concerned expression and feels a familiar sting at the corner of her eyes. Before tears could leak out, Kanan pulls her into a warm hug.

Somewhere behind, she could hear Mari chatting with Chika and You, who must have run after her. It seems like the blonde is successful at diverting their attention, for soon their voices become inaudible beyond the connecting doors.

"We'll take care of Chika and You, you just keep going to the last compartment in the next cart, okay?" Kanan murmurs gently near her head before loosening her hold. Giving her one more encouraging pat, the ponytailed girl leaves her to her thoughts.

Riko dabs at her eyes and swallows the lump in her throat. Really, how could she ever repay them for their kindness?

Taking a deep breath, she follows Kanan's instruction and soon reaches the destination. Gingerly, she knocks on the door and pulls it open after hearing the occupant's permission.

Dia appears taken aback, a textbook still open in her lap as emerald eyes glance at her up and down. "Sakurauchi-san, what happened-?"

"M-May I stay here, please?"

"Of course."

Riko hastily enters the compartment and closes the door behind her, hoping her movement isn't as embarrassingly desperate as she thinks.

Rather than gesturing at the empty spot opposite of her, Dia scoots away from the window to make space. Riko gratefully takes the seat, prepared to wallow in melancholy while staring out of the window.

Yet the silence doesn't last for long. The warm and dependable presence beside her soothes her, and soon she finds herself opening her own books and discussing several topics with Dia.

A part of her hopes the train would never stop, though she doesn't understand where such thought came from.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The second term is hard, not just from her personal issues but from the intensive courses as well. Now that she's aspired to become a Mediwitch, she has discussed with her Head of the House and Deputy Headmistress, receiving permission to take Advanced courses for various subjects.

This change in schedule allows her to spend more time with the three Fourth-Years and less time with Chika and You, which has its pros and cons. While the heavy workload distracts her enough that she would not feel guilty distancing herself from her best friends, she also longs for their company and all the what-ifs had she never found that accursed quill.

While Chika and You not being a couple still bothers her, she's able to pretend nothing is wrong since they are usually at the library or around other students. Like old times, she enjoys helping them with their assignments and even berating them for their antics. Sometimes Kanan would join them, and with the older witch as mediator, she's able to achieve a sense of normalcy.

Due to them sharing the same House, Riko also spends quite a lot of time in Mari's company. The blonde's randomness, while exasperating and rather irritating at times, is just her way of showing affection. Riko subconsciously begins to think of Mari as a sister and a part of her likes to believe that Mari thinks the same too.

And there's Dia. The Slytherin prefect, as a Head Girl candidate, is very busy with various duties just as she had been back at the Estate, yet she is always there for Riko whenever she needs her. Since that time on the train, Riko has consciously acknowledged Dia as a place of refuge, though she realizes that it's been the case all along since that fateful day.

Also, whenever their eyes meet in the hallways, Dia would nod or smile at her, and such simple acknowledgement is enough to lift her spirits for the rest of the day.

Their secret group of four still meet at Dia's prefect dorm, as it grants them enough privacy, but soon they notice that the space is no longer big enough to accommodate their research or practice sessions. Riko almost wants to suggest the Hut, her old hideout with Chika and You back then, but she feels sick at the thought of returning there. As if understanding her dilemma, the three Fourth-Years never mention it either.

It is by pure luck that, two months into the second term, they discover the Room of Requirement. Riko's pet Kneazle Sandy, a loyal and intelligent familiar, would often wander around the Castle with Animagus Mari, and that's how they ended up stumbling upon the odd door opposite of the troll tapestry on the 7th floor.

This almost-sentient room provides anything they need, and they are able to train and study to their heart's content. However, in spite of the available resources, they have no breakthroughs on those enigmatic black feathers found on those hooded assailants. There just aren't enough samples to analyze these magic-imbued items, and whichever diagnostic spells cast upon them bring an array of results that could not be categorized.

The frustration only pushes her to study and improve herself more.

"Sakurauchi-san, perhaps it is best that we call it a day."

"N-No, Kurosawa-san, I haven't even gotten past your defense, let alone disarm you."

Panting, Riko raises her wand again and attempts to aim in spite of her trembling arm. She knows that she is well over her limit but this isn't enough. An enemy would not take pity on her just because she is exhausted.

Her spell dissipates upon hitting the invisible shield Charm around Dia, who simply stands there. In fact, she has barely moved since their duel began. And she hasn't even unsheathed her saber.

"You were never this stubborn, Sakurauchi-san, what happened?" Dia speaks in a severe tone, and Riko cringes like a child caught red-handed. Frowning, Dia glances over at the grand ornate mirror at the corner of the room and lets out a deep sigh.

"You must stay away from the Mirror of Erised. It will only do you more harm than good."

Riko lowers her head, ashamed yet unable to admit her faults. Sometimes the pang of longing becomes too much, and she finds herself staring woefully at the reflection for possibly hours. Within the mirror, she is happy, Chika and You are still a couple, and they are in their Fifth Years and have successfully passed their N.E.W.T.s.

"... if only Ruby and I are Muggleborns, or even other Purebloods, we might be happier."

Puzzled, Riko looks up to find Dia staring wistfully at the direction of the Mirror.

"I am proud of my family history, and so does she. It is my great pride and joy to be entrusted various responsibilities as the heiress, to be able to live up to and surpass my family's expectations. But, at the end of the day, what is the point, if my own little sister cannot be happy? Am I… happy?"

"... Kurosawa-san?" Riko tentatively approaches the older girl, whose expression is oddly calm and devoid of turmoil in spite of the sadness laced in her tone.

"All of that is merely wishful thinking, is it not? The Mirror shows us what we desire, and that is just that, a desire. It will never become reality."

Riko winces. She knows that, the rational side of her has always known, but the pitifully hopeful part of her refuses to see the truth.

"I am not saying these to discourage you, Sakurauchi-san." Dia's voice is quiet and lulls Riko into a peaceful state of mind. "We could work as hard as we could, to try to make that desire a reality, but it is also important to acknowledge your own limit. After all, how can you achieve your goal, if you collapse along the way?"

Riko tucks her wand inside her pocket and offers a weak smile. "Right. I'll rest and strive to become even better the next day."

"Good. We will resume the duel tomorrow." Before Dia moves to tidy up the area, Riko grasps for her sleeve, stopping her. "Yes?"

"Um, I was just…" Truth be told, Riko doesn't know why she did that, but she feels like there's something she should do, especially after the taller witch disclosed a rather personal secret. Peering up shyly, she then notices dark circles under Dia's eyes. "You need to rest too, Kurosawa-san."

"I will, but there are still some tasks I need to finish before-"

"No. Like what you've just told me, you need to rest too." Normally, Riko would've felt weird using such a firm tone towards a senior, but she sincerely hopes Dia would listen to her. The heiress has always appeared indomitable, but up close, signs of fatigue could not be hidden.

A revelation then occurs to Riko. "Is it because... I'm taking too much of your time? You've already helped me so much with my assignments, dueled and researched with me-"

"Not at all. I… I enjoy being with you. Helping you I mean," Dia looks away and puts on a stern expression before returning her gaze to the shorter girl. "I am well aware of my own limit. I just need a few more hours or less. You should head back to your dorm-"

"Then let me help you. What is it? Is it organizing the list of students for the Hogsmeade trip?"

"Sakurauchi-san…"

"Please."

They stare at each other for a while, neither willing to relent. Surprisingly, it is Dia who averts her eyes first, and Riko cheers inwardly while maintaining a calm expression. "Very well. I just have some paperwork…"

Perhaps it is sometime after midnight that they have finished everything. Riko stretches, her limbs burning with fatigue and neck stiff from the lack of movement, but her mind feels oddly awake. It feels rather refreshing, to work hard on something that has nothing to do with those feathers or the academic workload.

"You would make a good prefect, Sakurauchi-san."

Riko shakes her head, pleased but also flustered by the compliment. "You think so?"

"I know so. You have the right type of mentality to commit yourself to such demanding position," Dia murmurs thoughtfully, "I am certain many professors would not object, and Professor Toujou may have already placed you as a candidate already… although, she was the one who gave the prefect badge to Mari-san last year…"

"Did I hear my name?"

Blinking, Riko looks towards the door to see Mari strolling in with Kanan behind her. The two Animagi would usually patrol the school grounds at Dia's request, the cat around the Castle and the wolf in the Forbidden Forest. While the hooded figures haven't been seen since that day, they agree that it's prudent to stay on guard while searching for clues. So far, nothing has been found but at least they did understand the domain so much better now.

"Right… I think I sort of remember, in my First Year," Riko did wonder why the prefect had changed to a different witch within a week.

"Too much work. I enjoy my free time, thank you very much~" Mari shrugs with the kind of nonchalance that she knows would tick off Dia. The Slytherin pinches the bridge of her nose, as if to rein in her temper.

Ever the peacemaker, most of the time anyway, Kanan gives Riko a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Well, I agree with Dia, you'd make a wonderful prefect, Riko-chan."

"Speaking of which, what're you doing here still? I'd thought Dia would've sent you off to bed already, like the fussy mother hen she is~" Mari's grin only widens when Dia glares at her.

"Sakurauchi-san was very helpful, unlike someone," Dia huffs as she organizes the various parchments on the desk. "But yes, now that we are finished here, we should all retire. It has been a long day."

Riko almost feels reluctant to leave, but after they descend the stairs and reach the intersection, Dia turns to her and bids her goodnight before parting ways.

It is only after the two Ravenclaws arrive at their Dormitory that Mari giggles. "You should smile more often, Rikocchi. It fits you, and makes you look very cute~!"

Blushing, she immediately scowls and ignores her senior's smirk as she heads for her room.

The rest of term passes by rather uneventfully. Riko pours all of her efforts in those Advances classes, aiming to pass her O.W.L.s when her peers are just starting to prepare for the mock exams. Guilt will probably always lurk at the corner of her mind, but she is able to use it as fuel for her determination and she isn't as prone to bouts of depression anymore.

True to her promise to Dia, she balances her studies with sleep while making sure the older witch does the same. Mari, and even Kanan, would tease her about how they have never been able to get Dia to listen to them before. Riko is dubious of that claim, considering how close the three Fourth-Years are, for she is simply a kouhai fortunate enough to be tutored by the talented Slytherin.

Still, it makes her rather giddy to know she has certain influence over Dia.

By the end of the term, Riko could very well admit that she's tired and looks forward to the summer break. Those O.W.L. exams are indeed as stressful as the rumors, though she couldn't quite relax yet, not until she receives her grades. Unlike the rest of the applicants, she would know the results sooner since they're needed for her to plan her course schedule for the next year.

When she does receive the notification, she is utterly stunned, since she hasn't expected to receive Outstanding on all her O.W.L.s. She almost thought the parchment in her hand is a prank, but the Ministry of Magic's seal is proof enough.

Ecstatic, she clutches the document close to her heart and searches through the school for that one person to share her joy with. While her grades are the result of her hard work, she hadn’t accomplished it by her lonesome after all. Now that she has regained her sense of self-worth, she feels more confident in challenging the unknown in the future.

One day, she will definitely recover Chika and You's memories, and resolve the mystery behind those attackers.

She spots the Slytherin prefect walking down the hallway ahead of her and, before she realizes it, she is already calling out her name.

"Dia-san!"

Startled, Dia whirls around with an eyebrow arched. Riko is only vaguely aware that she is babbling, but she could no longer contain her joy as she shares the results of her exams with the older witch.

" - so because of these, I can continue on to take N.E.W.T. level course. Ah, of course, it will be another full year before I can even attempt tackling those exams but, I believe I can do it. No, I will do it!"

Now that she's finished speaking, she peers up at Dia and tries not to fidget under those intense emerald eyes. Slightly embarrassed by her outburst and out of character behavior, she is about to apologize when Dia holds out her hand and smiles gently.

"Congratulations, Riko-san. I too, believe in you."

Even though it had been a slip of tongue on her part, Riko is quite pleased to hear the senior return the gesture. Their distance has dwindled one more step, and that delights Riko in a way different than her marks.

She tries to fight down the flutters in her stomach as she shakes Dia's hand, relishing in the warmth and the simple connection between two people.

"Thank you, for everything, Dia-san."

TBC in part2

[bekindandsmile]

EP Production Plan Draft

*still working out Birth (00:00) Growth (02:33) Love (06:38) Hate (09:15) Passenger (12:30) Lost (17:00) Death (20:41)

Here is a sketch of the EP

EQUANIMITY EP

Equanimity is a fast-paced, infinite looping, experimental, concept EP.  

Birth is about our character being born into this world

Growth follows our character as he grows and learns all the fears and delights of life*

Love is about our character falling in love* 

Hate is about our character being abused by his mentally ill father and being conflicted about the relationship

Passenger is about our character being dissociative and living in a constant auto-pilot mode*

Lost follows our character as he deals with the existential questions of Who? What? Where? When? Why? And How?

Death is about our character pondering the concept of death*

Story Notes: (((WRITE A CLEAR STORY FIRST INSTEAD OF WRITING LYRICS THAT FIT THE VIBE))) Elaborate more on Growth Make Love more interesting Elaborate more/maybe think of a new idea for Passenger (maybe even scrap this one and use the riffs and ideas elsewhere) Get a clearer idea of what you want Death to be about. Do you want it to involve our character dying our just talking about the concept of death or even both?

Music Notes: Lost is the strongest track and is the main sound every song needs to be transformed into. On a scale of strongest to weakest songs: *has the potential Lost, Birth, Death* Hate, Growth, Love, Passenger Birth: needs to be more triumphant, more in-your-face “ARE YOU READY FOR THIS EP!?!?” This is a good example. Do not fade in the song. Growth: needs to be cut short. Definitely take out about a minute and a half of the middle section. Too repetitive, needs new ideas added. Love: completely scrap the hip-hop/nu-metal sections and replace it with more upbeat, surfy, “clapclap clap” vibes and fun-loving, cheesy Beach Boys harmonies. Hate: bones are complete. Maybe trying experimenting with a swing on the first half of the breakdown before going into a slower tempo straight chug. Passenger: see what happens when remaking it. If it’s crap then scrap. Could potentially turn into a chill, fast-paced, interlude that could be a nice breather. before getting back into it. If so, you’d might have to swap track position with Hate because 3 songs, 1 interlude, 3 songs aesthetic. Lost: bones are complete. Make better transitions. Add/elaborate on more riffs. Death: Get more of a clear idea of what you want musically with this one. Has potential to be crazy. Do not have the song fade out, have it successfully and fluently loop back around to Birth. Most of the songs need more percussion and synthesisers, all songs need to be reworked to fluently flow with each other.

Other Notes: Aim for a 20 minutes or under EP. Don’t use too many breakbeats although it is mostly a DnB vibe. It is a bit of a risk putting all your high-intensity songs in one release so incorporate non-intense elements/sections so when Release 2 comes around it doesn’t seem like a completely different band. Name and compile certain riffs eg; the main riff in Growth is called ‘Learn’ and will be used in future songs whenever someone learns something (((REALLY THINK ABOUT IF PUTTING ALL YOUR HIGH-INTENSITY SONGS ON YOUR DEBUT RELEASE IS A SMART BUSINESS MOVE))) Pros & Cons: It’s your first official release - barely anybody is gonna hear it (P&C) Having your first release just follow one vibe could pigeon hole the perception of the bands aesthetic instead of putting out a release that showcases all the musical capabilities (C) but also not showing all your musical abilities straight away when potentially not a lot of people will hear it (P) ((think of more)) Production Plan: 1. Transcribe all guitar and bass parts in Guitar Pro/Sibelius export MIDI to Ableton 2. Program drums in Superior Drummer and export audio to Ableton 3. Use Shreddage III on the Guitar Pro MIDI and adjust the MIDI accordingly to the drum audio 4. Experiment with blending Shreddage II & Bass with Shreddage III to hopefully achieve a very huge and thick guitar sound 5. Record a live 12 string guitar and blend it with the midi guitar. The precision of the MIDI and sloppiness of my playing mixed with the cheaply made 12 string should create quite a unique and versatile timbre that fits in with both electronic and metal. 6. Use EZBass on the bass MIDI. Experiment with whether it needs to blend with a real bass or not. 7. Split the high and low bass signals. Boost the sub and sprinkle some crunch on the lows, put some high gain and maybe even an auto-filter or auto-wah on the highs. 8. Now that the bones are in place, delete the drum audio, open superior drummer in Ableton and write percussion and electronic drum parts in accordance to the acoustic drums. Avoid repetition and too many layers. If it doesn’t add anything, don’t use it. 9. Decide what synths will be used and write parts. Avoid too much WOB bass as it will get old. 10. Take session over to Logic to experiment with soundscapes, sound effects and binaural panning. 11. Record mock gibberish vocals. The rhythm and sound can help gage more of an idea on what to do vocally and lyrically. 12. Make a mic booth by parking the car in the garage, covering the windows with blankets/sound proofing so the sound doesn’t bounce weirdly and you can make as much noise without feeling embarrassed. 13. Write lyrics, record vocals and experiment with all sorts of effects, sounds and vocal styles 14. Listen on repeat for a few days to analyse it. Get feedback from people around you and compile a list 15. Fix the things on the list and start mixing and master. Learn more on how to do so. 16. Repeat 14. 17. Fix things on the list and test mix on monitors, studio headphones, AirPods, car speakers, Bluetooth speakers, TV. 18. Compile a list and fix said things. Get feedback from those who know more and have more experience. Compile final list. 19. Apply final touches and obtain reassurance that it’s fine and it doesn’t need anymore tweaking.   20. Remember to thank teachers when accepting Grammy and Platinum Record.

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON MAYDAY’S MAIN VOCAL BAEK JIWOO...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A  CURRENT AGE: 24 DEBUT AGE: 23 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 17 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): wooji, 애지 (”aeji” - a play on the word “애기” in combination with her name 지우 and a nod towards jiwoo’s youthful affect - also interchangeably used in reference to her aegyo (애교)), 백퍼센트귀여운 / baek percent gwiyeo-un/100% cute (reference to her cuteness as well as her family name, often simply shortened to baek percent / ‘백퍼센트‘ ), 보조개 / bojogae (dimples uwu) INSPIRATION: her biggest inspiration to become an idol was the first time she ever watched an idol comeback show - it was olympus’s “be mine” that peaked her interest. SPECIAL TALENTS:

ariana grande vocal impression

aegyo 3-set (x)

dad jokes / 아재개그

NOTABLE FACTS:

the only female child in her family for two generations

her favorite movie genre is romantic comedy and she wants to record an OST for one someday.

her favorite animal is the deer because fans have often compared her to bambi, she’s started carrying a small stuffed one she received at a fansign around.

she was an absolute teacher’s pet throughout school and was even elected class president in grade 10.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

short-term, she wants to regain her footing after the shocking change of pace she’s experienced recently and focus on building her resume to grab attention for both herself and her group, so they can, hopefully, get their first win during their next comeback.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

she’s looking to move more fully into acting and follow in the footsteps of exemplars like bae suzy who were able to create a name for themselves through not only their efforts on stage but on the screen as well.

IDOL IMAGE

jiwoo is compliant to a fault as a result of her strict religious upbringing under a firm-handed mother with a high standard of morality, a bit of a pushover, entirely too trusting of the people around her, she thinks the world of even those who don’t deserve it. despite this inherent timidity towards decisiveness against authority, she’s a bright and bubbly girl who just wants to make the world smile with her voice, her personality. she’s playful and naive, exudes a natural innocence that comes with her pointed lack of experience. it’s charming, the way it impacts her sense of humor, her lighthearted sass; funny, how jokes fly right over her head. she’s cute. there’s nothing forced about it and it’s that that MSG is counting on: her natural aegyo, genuine, the feeling of fondness and protectiveness that this aspect of her elicits.

she’s simple in that she’s generally easy to get along with, to laugh with, to be around. she’s got that trademark adorable easy-to-approach air about her but shines in the spotlight.

off stage, she’s painted as the girl-next-door, the childhood best friend, the little sister you’d sell your kidney for in a pinch. jiwoo’s pretty, radiant in the way you remember your first ever crush being when you were in school. she’s a social butterfly. her purity is captivating, youthful, and it has the potential to pull in a broad range of audiences if they play their cards right - people who want to preserve it, those on the other end of the spectrum who want to tear it back just to see what’s underneath, and those who resonate. that’s the fun in acting, being able to take their doll and see her dressed up the way they want to see her.

it’d be a shame if they broke her.

“but,” she wants to say. “i’m a singer.”

she sings her ass off on stage, she’s a main vocal - wants them to acknowledge that, that she’s talented and good and has worked hard to reach this point, to be a singer. she thinks about the fact that she left home for this, cut ties with her mother for this. she’s gotten so much better at dancing, her performances get better every time.

she wants to remind them that she’s got a group, that they’re good, too, that there’s more to her than her image, that they make good music. “please love mayday a lot!” she makes sure to add during her solo schedules.

“so cute!” they say. she’s the apple heart girl, cute enough to slap her face on their brand, cute enough to cast. it’s shallow, the way they love her, the way they want her.

it doesn’t feel as good.

IDOL HISTORY

TW BRIEF PHYSICAL/VERBAL ABUSE

act i, scene i, the sun shines through the clouds

jiwoo comes out singing. not literally, of course, but that’s the way her mother’s always made it seem, like this was the only thing she could ever picture for her little girl - the same bright little girl who’d sit in her lap during church and sing at the top of her lungs to every hymn, knew the words to every bit of gospel, and jumped at the opportunity to join the youth choir when she was finally old enough to hold a microphone. she’s a tiny, frail little thing, smaller than the other kids, and it pains her mother to watch jiwoo so far away, to watch her shine without her light. it’s a beautiful sight, though, the way she shines, the way she makes her mother feel like she was born to do it. she smiles so hard on stage, she’s scared her little face will split in two.

jiwoo’s mother learns early on that her zeal is conditional, that she shines so brightly but that she’s scared of her own shadow. she’s got stage fright something awful - conditional, because she’s fine when she can see her mother in the crowd of judging faces, but she throws up all over her brand new dress the day she has to sing a solo in front of her fourth grade class.

she’s relieved, she thinks, that it’s not easy for her to do it alone.

she’s her only child, her little jiwoo, the product of a short-lived relationship but a miracle, nonetheless. she’s all she’s got. she doesn’t know if she could ever stomach having to let her go. jiwoo cries.

“another opportunity will come, baby,” she tells her when she brushes her hair before bed that same evening, holds her close and hums. “you were meant to shine.”

it gets better when she starts participating in neighborhood plays as an attempt to branch out and get over her fear. she’s good.

her mother makes sure it doesn’t get to her head.

scene ii, they part.

the curtains rise to the rolling sound of drums and there she stands. there’s a television stage left and on the screen, there’s colors. they’re bright enough to blind her but still, she stares. there’s an awe in her expression, like she’s seeing for the very first time - hearing, too, the sound of music in another form. it’s different, this music, to the trot songs and olden spirituals her mama plays around the house.

it’s the first time ever she’s gone to a sleepover. she’s embarrassed that she doesn’t know the song, that the other girls do. her idea of fun on a friday night up until now has been watching historical dramas with her mom on the couch with a bowl of lightly salted popcorn between them, but, now, watching olympus’s comeback stage, she thinks she’s in love. her friends tell her to pick a favorite. she can’t decide, but she goes home the next morning and downloads ‘be mine’, listens to it when she gets ready for bed, so she’ll know the words, too.

it’s not a secret but her mother finds out when she catches her belting the song into her hairbrush after dinner, a printed out picture of the boys taped above her bed. (she’s decided she likes the main vocal’s part best.)

“who’re you listening to?” she asks, a hand against the doorframe.

“idols,” jiwoo replies, a new word added to her vocabulary. “don’t they sound cool?”

“don’t forget to pray.” her mother says.

interlude

the first and only time her mother hits her is when she comes out of her room with lip gloss on, some daiso mascara on her lashes and a cute shirt she’d borrowed from one of her friends. there’s nothing inappropriate about the look, just shorts and a shirt, stomach and thighs hidden like she’s been taught to keep them. she’s thirteen and learning about makeup and self-expression from the now regular sleepovers she has with her school friends every weekend. they meet up and sing together, plan on putting together a cover performance for the back to school showcase after being inspired by heaven’s debut. her walls are plastered with idol posters now, bought with the money she picks up from babysitting the toddler who lives in the flat next door when his parents are out. she’s growing up, discovering herself, doesn’t see a thing wrong with it until her mother slaps her square across the face.

it stings something fierce, burns with a kind of betrayal she’s never felt before - ever. it’s the first time she feels truly afraid of her mother. it hurts more when she speaks, tells her to change because she looks like a trollop.

jiwoo changes. something changes with her. she prays.

2013.

her friend goes to an audition for msg. “come along,” she says, “it’ll be fun.” she says, but it feels like a set up somehow. it’s incredibly cliche, the way she doesn’t intend to audition, doesn’t even think about it, but winds up in front a panel of judges before she even realizes she’s there. she needs to be home by six. caught off guard, she sings olympus’s be mine with absolutely no expectations, grooves a bit to some generic pop music as a display of her grasp on rhythm, and makes a point to apologize to them for being unprepared. she squirms, smiles sheepishly and tries not seem as nervous as she is.

it’s cute. they like her. she doesn’t know how she’s going to tell her mom.

act ii,scene i hell freezes over

she tells her over dinner.

her mother’s mad, the way jiwoo knew she’d be. she tells her that when she thought of her becoming a singer, she’d always pictured someone classy and regaled like so hyang. this isn’t what she wants and she makes sure that jiwoo knows it when she signs the paperwork. things get cold after that, like it’s her mom’s attempt to ice her out, guilt her into calling it quits so she can pay the hefty fee for a month or two and they can go back to spending every night together, quiet and safe and holy.

it hurts her feelings but she pushes through, spends her time as a trainee doing the best she can, stays away from home as long as possible when the opportunities arise, but always comes back with her tail between her legs on the rare occasion she gets truly, properly scolded. she’s compliant when she can be, when it doesn’t speak against her soul.

it gets colder.

things reach a head when she’s old enough to be out on her own and her mother kicks her out. she doesn’t look at her when she does it, doesn’t say a word, but the way her things are neatly packed and waiting by the door when she gets home from training speak volumes. the bible on top of her suitcase while her mother sits in her usual spot in front of the television feels passive aggressive, hurts her feelings, but she leaves. she stays the night at one of her trainee friend’s apartments and never goes back.

her mother cries, feels like a failure, feels terribly alone. she doesn’t call.

it’s the first time jiwoo ever truly goes against the grain. hell freezes.

it’s too cold.

scene ii, let me entertain you

debut doesn’t feel the way she thought it would. it’s very clinical, the whole process.

she expects them to be received with open arms by the public but the scores during music shows speak volumes, their song does okay but it’s not enough. it’s a hum, barely even a clap of thunder, just a rumble. she’s happy anyway, like she always is, glad she gets to sing, but she holds out hope for a breakthrough.

and, well.

she doesn’t do it on purpose, the whole aegyo thing, it just happens during a fansign one day. she’s interacting with the fans that came, teasing them for their reminders for her to eat well when she goes to mime eating an apple to satiate them. it turns into a heart and she’s terribly delighted, does it again and tells them, tone cute and lovely, that their love keeps her full. it’s a few days spent without her giving it any thought, but one morning, she sees her face on pann and wonders what the fuss is about. weeks pass and she’s genuinely surprised to see other idols do it during interviews, finds herself searching for compilations on youtube and twitter and giggling in delight when she should be sleeping. it feels surreal but her company seems pleased.

she doesn’t realize what it really means until they start to really push her, booking her appearances on commercials, variety shows here and there to keep the public’s eyes on her - the mc’s always bring it up, the apple thing. they coo over her, laugh at her jokes, seem utterly charmed by her and it’s - different. it’s never about her singing. the company tells her she’s being helpful.

it gets even different-er when months down the line, she’s offered a role in a webdrama.

they accept it without really even asking her but it’s fine, she guesses. she likes acting well enough, had enjoyed it when she worked with 1nferno for their music video, in her childhood. she doesn’t question their motives, though. it’s okay.

she’ll do what they want her to do. if it’ll help.

[evilradmedieval]

Worst to Best Albums: Drake

If you’re reading this... it’s time for a new segment: “Best to Worst”! This gives me the chance to change it up a bit from all the album reviews and thinkpieces so you guys can get a bigger grasp of my music taste regarding the discography of certain big name artists. Kicking things off, I wanted to address a figure that I’ve had a love/hate relationship with: Drake. being a former actor on that weird Canadian show as a paraplegic basketball player. Once he dropped his first mixtape in Room for Improvement back in 2006, he generated buzz and eventually met YMCMB label head Lil Wayne in 2007. The rest is history. Dropping major hit records every couple of years, we saw the progression and evolution of an artist who would become bigger than his own idols. Ten years later, he is as relevant as ever as a pop artist dropping hit after hit. His discography contains dozens of hits, and only one can fathom when he will ever slow down. Although he’s released quite a few musical duds critically within the past couple of years, there’s no denying his staying power. Since the release of Thank Me Later up until the release of his recent playlist More Life, I will meticulously scrutinize every album from worst to best in my own opinion. Hopefully this gives you guys an insight in regards to him and my current views of him being such a huge star.

7. What a Time to Be Alive

I don’t hate this album. I just didn’t like how the entire album just sounded like DS2 throwaways with some Drake features slapped onto them. Metro Boomin production is all over this thing, which was a departure from the more airy, skeletal trap-flavored instrumentals on If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late. On What a Time To Be Alive, we get an album that has some pretty in-your-face bangers, with tracks like “Big Rings”, “I’m the Plug” and the smash hit “Jumpman”. Sure, the album may have some lowkey, R&B-tinged tracks such as “Diamonds Dancing” and “Change Locations”, it’s just that Future dominates a huge majority of the album with his trademark trap-banger style and drugged out vocal inflection, it makes Drake seem like a mere sidekick as opposed to a legitimate Drizzy album. The album overall as a project is decent, but is more so a celebration of both rappers’ heightened success in the rap game than an actual artistic statement.

6. Views

People call me the biggest Views hater, and for that reason I always try to revisit the album and see if I can reformulate my overall opinion on the album. With 2016 being probably Drake’s peak in regards to popularity, he set up everything to make it seem like he would release an album that would surpass his commercial mixtape If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late in regards to quality and commercial success. When he finally dropped the album, I listened through the album and was severely underwhelmed. Then I did again. And again. And it still didn’t meet my expectations. It’s pretty obvious from here on out to say that IYRTITL is one of my favorite Drake albums of all time. But once that album released, I assumed Views was going to be bigger. It definitely was, but in regards to filler material and lackluster tracks. Almost every song I had a problem with, whether it’s the cringy lyrics, horrible production, or the fact that this album was the start of Drake riding on glorified whitewashed dancehall. 

Starting off on a good note, there are some deeper cuts that are heartfelt and have some passion infused into the lyrics. This is seen on tracks such as “Weston Road Flows” and “Views”, the former track being reflective and personal and the latter being a comment on loyalty. There are also some lowkey bangers on this tracklisting as well, with “Still Here” and “Hype” being some of the better hard-hitting track. Additionally, both “Hotline Bling” and “Controlla” are some pretty cheesy yet infectiously fun tracks that I actually enjoy. “9″ isn’t horrible, but can get boring with it’s repetitive instrumental. However, “Fire and Desire” is probably one of the simpiest tracks I’ve heard Drake put out since his Take Care, and not in a bad way either.

Other than the aforementioned tracks, there is a handful of some pretty porrly put-together and cringy tracks on here. The opener in “Keep the Family Close” is overly dramatic and bipolar in sound. “Feel No Ways”, “One Dance” and “Redemption” have the sloppiest mixing and production on the entire album, with all of them also containing one of the cheesiest lyrics I’ve heard. “Faithful” made no goddamn sense in having a Pimp C feature, in which he openly raps” “The only person I fuck with is Bun B”. “Pop Style” sounds like a lowkey banger, yet contains one of Drake’s worst lines as well. Other tracks contained either really annoying hooks (i.e. “Grammys”) or just a straight up horribly showcased situation regarding encounters with women (i.e. “Child’s Play”). 

The album sits at almost an hour and a half. But rarely do we get fully fleshed-out tracks with quality ideas, lyrics and production. I get that Drake wanted to match the length of the LP with IYRTITL, it’s just that most of the tracks seemed rushed. I’ve come down from my harsh criticism of the dancehall influence, however it still doesn’t change my negative thoughts on this album. Drake could have definitely done better, and this makes me wish this was the mixtape and IYRTITL was the smash commercial LP of 2016.

5. More Life

Although WATTBA was a celebration of both Future and Drake’s careers in 2015, Drake decided to follow up that strange release with the release of a “playlist” or sorts, deterring away from the actual concept of mixtapes or commercial albums despite seeing radioplay. With this album, Drake didn’t necessarily have a encompassing theme, but wished to release new music to hold over his fans until he figures out what to do next. I thought this was actually a smart move, as his last LP was a dud in my opinion and also caters to the low attention span of how music listeners consume music nowadays. Despite not being on all the songs, Drake brought to the table some quality tracks that feature some of his closest collaborators and “musical family” or sorts. With such a large tracklisting, there was definite risk of some musical duds, which is evident in the first half of the playlist.

Regarding bangers, there are some notable cuts in the star-studded “Portland”, which featured Travi$ Scott and Quavo of Migos fame. We have some XXXTENTACION vibes on “KMT”, as well as some borderline British accent-tinged spits on “No Long Talk”. “Gyalchester” and the insanely hard-hitting “Skepta Interlude”, sans Drake, are one of my favorite tracks on the album as well, both showcasing a relatively aggressive trap-flavored bangers. More lyrical cuts are also seen on the playlist, with the opener and closer tracks “Free Smoke” and “Do Not Disturb” make way for some quality bars. The simp tracks aren’t bad as well, with the smash hit “Fake Love” and “Passionfruit” singles both seeing some heavy rotation on the airwaves. The Drake-less “4422″ also makes the running for the best track on the entire playlist, which makes sense as Sampha is one of the better performers on More Life.

However, there are some duds. “Get It Together” is this weird, clunky dancehall-inspired house track that I couldn’t get into. “Madiba Riddem” and “Blem” are some cringy-ass dancehall inspired, Caribbean cuts that try to ride off the popularized sound Drake established with “One Dance” off Views. Kanye West on “Glow” made for one of the most overblown and awfully sung tracks I’ve heard from either artist. And anything that PARTYNEXTDOOR hops on with Drake usually doesn’t end well. 

Some tracks that didn’t irk me as much include the musically flaccid “Sacrifices” with Thugger and 2 Chainz, as well as the “Ice Melts” track that featured some Lil Yachty and D.R.A.M. “Broccoli” vibes.

In context, release of this project made a lot of sense. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t despise it either. The fact that the project was just a collection of tracks to hold over fans makes for this to not really be deemed a Drake project, yet has Drake written all over it. Quality-wise, I thought it was better than Views, which really is a bad look for said LP as that album was supposed to be a cohesive commercial project on its own.

4. Thank Me Later

When I revisited this album a couple days ago to start the Drake thinkpiece, I came to realize how different sonically he is. His vocal inflection back in the day sounded like he had a cold, or as if he pinched his nose every time he rapped. His bars are heavy with that #hashtag flow, which many people have connected to his encounter with up-and-coming rapper Big Sean from his Finally Famous mixtapes. However, the subject matter is the same: talk about relationships while dealing with the glitz and glamor of fame. With this album however, this was the very start of what’s to come, in which Drake is first fully exposed to the public eye. Riding off the success of his hit singles “Best I Ever Had” and “Over”, both songs were the epitome of what Drake does as an artist: sing and rap. This sort of trend was new at the time, which was popularized by rappers Kanye West and Kid Cudi, both who displayed both singing and rapping abilities in their respective 808s & Heartbreak and Man on the Moon: End of Day projects. However with Thank Me Later, this was also a release in which Drake showed his capacity for some cringy lyrics and some overly sentimental tracks.

Although the “trap-flavored bangers” didn’t really kick in until a couple years later, there was a fair share of quality singles that dominated the airwaves. “Over” was one of his more hard-hitting, aggressive tracks with a relentless flow, despite his outdated #hashtag flow. “Up All Night”, “Fancy” and “Miss Me” were some quality tracks that saw some acclaim as well. In regards to his more R&B-tinged tracks, the opener in “Fireworks” showcased his singing ability. Although he couldn’t really match the singing talent of his collaborator in Alicia Keys, it was a heartfelt track that also exhibited some reflective verses of his current situation in the rap game. We also get a combination of singing and rapping on “The Resistance”, which delves more into his thoughts on success and his doubters. We also have a Aaliyah sampled track in “Unforgettable”, featuring Young Jeezy, which really is another epitome of what Drake can so sonically as both an R&B artist and a rapper. Kanye production appears on the celebratory “Show Me a Good Time”, as well as the electronic, synthy “Find Your Love”

There were some tracks that I still can’t get into, even after 7 years of Drake. Despite the hit single that is “Find Your Love”, the track has the most annoying pre-hook refrain with the “Hey, hey, hey!” “Thank Me Now” was never one of my favorites, and to this day sonically sounds outdated. And although Drake was able to snag a legendary feature with Jay-Z on “Light Up”, the track is overly clunky and spacious, with some outdated flows and silly references. Jay-Z’s appearance was decent, but I feel was only there to add to the co-signing notion of Drake’s legitimacy as an artist.

Ultimately, the only problems I had with this album, listening to it in 2017 aside from sentimental reasons, were the outdated flows and abnormally nasally delivery. Regarding his singing, he is very capable and definitely hashes this skill out in his later albums. Still, it’s quite a feat to come from being an actor to a successful rapper with some legitimate quality hit songs. And from here starts the evolution of the ever changing Drake. 

3. Nothing Was the Same

Nothing Was the Same came out during a time when I was recovery from a horrible breakup with my ex-girlfriend back in 2013. And it was definitely the most fitting music that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I think around the time this album was released, the term “simp” was coined. Never have I heard the most emotionally irresponsible music to this day. Not even Take Care equates to all the baggage that Drake appears to showcase on this LP. However, I think that’s what really gives this album its character, despite some instances of cheesy wordplay or recollection of some cringy encounters with women. With this album, we see him delve into some atmospheric trap-flavored bangers, which we see fully fleshed out on his next project in IYRTITL. But sonically and topically, the album expands on what he did on on Take Care. Regarding features, the only credited collaborator on the non-deluxe version was Jay-Z, which is seen on the airy, trap-flavored cut “Pound Cake”. Therefore, we see more of a jack-of-all-trades Drake, singing and rapping without the help of too many collaborators. Let’s get right into it.

“Tuscan Leather” happens to be a type of track that he tries to replicate, in which there are various sections to the song which involves a beat change-up and a switch up in vocal delivery. The track features some of his best bars to date, with some clever one-liners and references here and there regarding his success and fame. I love the chopped up Whitney Houston sample, and the instrumental altogether sounds great. Another lyrical-type track that I touched on was “Pound Cake”. The track has another beat change-up, which the latter part of the track is actually called “Paris Morton Music 2″. Although the tail end of the track is sort of underwhelming, the beginning half with Jay-Z over the atmospheric, skeletal instrumental sounds fantastic. Drake perfectly matches his idol on this track regarding flow and lyrics. Another instance of these beat change-ups is on the sung-rapped “Furthest Thing”, probably one of my favorite songs on the album. A track about finding a middle ground between the highs and lows of his life, Drake is reflective and equally simpy. But once the boom bap beat comes through, courtesy of Jake One, we get this triumphant and confident Drake going off on his doubts and criticisms. 

Regarding the slaps, we have the overly obnoxious “Worst Behavior”, which probably goes the hardest out of every other song on the tracklisting. He fires at his doubters aggressively, maybe even too harshly. The beat is off-kilter and bombastic as well, however is definitely something to bump in the whip. “Started from the Bottom” is his most well known track on the album, however I never bought into the sob story bullshit he put up on the track. The instrumental can get pretty annoying as well, but I guess can be a decent song to play for celebrating at a graduation or some other equivalent. There are also some lowkey, atmospheric bangers on the tracklisting, including “The Language” and the bonus track in “All Me” featuring fellow rappers 2 Chainz and Big Sean. The former track is decent, however “All Me” has the most quotables out of every track on the album. 

A Drake album isn’t complete without his fair share of simp tracks. “Wu-Tang Forever” is a weird song in the sense that it references famous Wu-Tang Clan song “It’s Yourz”, yet had little to no reference or representation to the actual rap collective themselves. The song is skeletal and atmospheric, and contains anecdotes of hooking up with women. Definitely not one of my favorites, but the track is followed up by one of my lesser favorites in “Own It”, which is a drunken conversation with another woman about being with her for the night. In a way, it flips the connotation seen on the previous track. 

“From Time”, however, is one of the most heartfelt moments on the tracklisting. We have a beautiful feature from the lovely Jhene Aiko. Meanwhile, we have a anecdotal conversation with Drake and his old flame. The track proceeds to go on about his past relationships and contemplation on some of his mistakes, especially his fractured relationship with his father. The song is a moody, downtempo track that ranks among many Drake fans’ favorites for sure. We also get one of the moodiest yet catchiest tracks in “Hold On, We’re Going Home”, one of my guilty pleasures. A synthpop ballad about a broken relationship, this would be the perfect song Ryan Gosling in Drive would play if he was simping hard while driving away. “Too Much” with Sampha’s angelic vocals really hit you hard in the feels, and Drake gives a pretty energetic performance here as well. Other tracks like “Connect” and “Come Thru” are the exact types of emotional tracks that inspire bad emotional decisions we are all guilty of succumbing to late in the night. 

However, this album isn’t a project without its faults. “305 to My City” sounds god awful, as the track sounds way too off-kilter and abnormal for Drake to be crooning over. There’s absolutely no sense of flow with his singing, and is definitely a skippable track. I touched back on “Started from the Bottom” being completely overblown and very repetitive, which is also a detrimental quality that most of the other tracks suffer from as well.

Despite some of its noticeable flaws, this album is a solid entry in Drake’s repertoire, as it really launches himself as one of the biggest stars in the music industry. Constantly making hit after hit, he delivers tracks that are simpy but also hard-hitting as well. This is definitely one of his best albums.

2. Take Care

Many people consider this album to be the magnum opus of his discography, which I cannot completely deny. However, we’ll get into that later regarding my favorite Drake album of all time, which you can already guess, as this album ranks among Drake fans’ favorites. With this album, this is the project in which Drake really came into his own. This is probably due to hanging out with The Weeknd, in which that pbr&b influence is quite evident all over the tracklisting. We have an album that’s atmospheric, skeletal and moody in regards to the sonic direction. There are slight hints of trap flavor on a couple tracks as well, which definitely carry on into more of his later releases going forward. Topically, we can expect the same types of emotional baggage and come-up anthems to be all over this thing. But almost every single song cohesively comes together to make one album that’s the epitome of what Drake can do right. The production sounds fantastic and actually aged pretty well. The songwriting, although sometimes goofy, is strengthened from his last album. And the emotional themes are what really set the standard for this new generation of “sad boi” hip-hop. This is why Take Care is always in the conversation for best album in his discography. 

Since it is a Drake album, we get a majority of the tracks being simp songs. “Over My Dead Body” kicks off the album with some subtle, minimalistic piano keys. The chords crescendo very nicely as the sample of Chantal Kreviazuk looms with an airy inflection as the chorus. Drake’s bars here are decent, especially the quotable with Asian girls and dimming lights, but I truly live through the production and mood that he sets with this track.With “Shot For Me” we start heading into that really emotionally irresponsible path with regret for a tarnished relationship. The track is melodic, skeletal and atmospheric, with simplistic production from frequent collaborator and friend 40. Definitely another favorite from the tracklisting. “Crew Love” brings that pbr&b genre to life with the collaboration with the ever-influential The Weeknd. The chemistry is definitely there on this track, however in my opinion is merely a decent track made to confirm their artistic alignment. “Marvin’s Room” was the song that truly started it all with the simping, with emotionally charged drunk dialing to a former flame. Sonically the song sounds very drowned out, and the song can get a little over-the-top for my own taste. But the Kendrick Lamar appearance on the tail end of this double track was interesting. The best simp tracks on the album come one after another, in “Cameras”, “Doing It Wrong”, “The Real Her” and “Look What You’ve Done”. Jon B’s “Calling on You” was probably the best flip of an R&B track I’ve ever heard on a Drake song. The track is trap-flavored, moody and has a fantastic hook. “Doing It Wrong” has the best narrative of all the tracks, with a very unfortunate situation after a breakup and not knowing what to do after. The track is probably the airiest and most atmospheric track on the album, and features one the coolest lowkey features with Stevie Wonder on the harmonica. “The Real Her” has the best features, thanks to noteworthy appearances from mentor Lil Wayne and southern rap legend Andre 3000. The track samples some subtle piano keys and has a melodic, thumping boom-bap instrumental. Lastly, “Look What You’ve Done” has one of the best instrumentals on the album, with a sweet piano and R&B sample chopped into the beat. Drake gives a pretty heartfelt performance as well. Again, all these tracks are minimalistic in regards to the drums and instrument samples, but offer Drake’s best songwriting we’ve seen thus far. But let’s not forget the Jamie xx produced crossover hit with Rihanna on the title track. 

We then head into more hip-hop oriented territory with “Headlines”, which is essentially the “Over” of the album. Being the lead single, the song is trap-flavored, upbeat and sonically more aggressive without being too hard-hitting. I especially love the heavy, staccato string sections that are laid out throughout the track. Drake drops some pretty noteworthy bars as well, but again this was the song that got critics talking about how he isn’t supposed to act hard since he sings. Wait until people get a load of Drake four years later on IYRTITL. We also have more anthemic cuts with "Underground Kings”, “HYFR” and the maximalist “Lord Knows”. The latter has one of the most luxurious and glitzy instrumentals on the album, and is perhaps my favorite pure hip-hop track on the album. “Make Me Proud” is an interesting take on independent women featuring none other than Nicki Minaj herself. And then we also get the Bay Area-friendly “The Motto”, an ode to the Yay Area with an upbeat, Mac Dre-ish beat and some heavy punchlines over an infectious flow. A definite party anthem that also spawned that “YOLO” trend that lived on for a couple years.

With this album, Drake gave his fans a monumental project that improved on all fronts, regarding production, songwriting and charisma. He also seemed to have gotten over that weird cold he’s had for four years before the release of this album. He really honed into his singing abilities, yet also delivers to his more hip-hop oriented fanbase with some heavier cuts off the album. There are still some cringy bars and bad flows on this album at times, but those rarely stand out and prevent from a fantastic listen all the way through. This album still sounds great and has aged pretty gracefully. This is definitely Drake’s best commercial effort, however I still think there is one album a step ahead of Take Care in regards to quality on all fronts as an cohesive album.

1. If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late

Cue the If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late memes, as this album really came into its own well, topping all the other Drake albums as my absolute favorite in his discography. Never have I heard an album more flawlessly written, performed and produced. Take Care was great, however had its share of cringy moments, especially with “Marvin’s Room” and some struggle bars on his more hard-hitting tracks. On IYRTITL, everything that came out of his mouth did absolutely nothing but make me drop my jaw in awe of the fantastically delivered bars and bass-heavy, skeletal, trap-flavored instrumentals. Let’s dive into it.

The first half of the album comes through with a barrage of stupid hard trap-flavored slaps. “Legend” opens up the tracklisting with the sexiest Ginuwine sampled I’ve ever heard. The beat is super melodic and has you bopping your head along with Drake’s infectious flow. He raps with so much swagger, it legitimately makes him convincingly bigger than what most people amount him to as an artist. We then transition into “Energy”, the absolute greatest anti-hater anthem I’ve heard in a while. He comes through with some heavy bars and a fantastic flow. The beat features these ominously chopped keys, as Drake eats away at the beat with his nasty delivery. The aggressiveness takes a step back a bit with “10 Bands”, in which his confidence is still on full display on another upbeat banger. The tempo is slowed down a bit with “Know Yourself”, with that virally quotable hook in “Running through the 6 with my woes!”. I love the beat change-up towards the end especially, and the refrain is so undeniably infectious. Then we come across one of my personal favorites on “No Tellin’” With more great bars here and there, the track comes through with more slaps, however is slowed down a bit in this chopped-and-screwed section. Despite this, Drake still keeps up the energy and confidence, but at more melodic pace. 

The album is cut in half by “Madonna” which happens to be my least favorites, as it’s relatively boring and showcases a pretty uninterested Drake. Despite this slight hiccup, we jump right back into more slaps with “6 God”, which features this crazy sample of the Diddy Kong Country soundtrack. He again picks up his monotone flow from the latter track and delivers more aggressive, hard-hitting flows. The subsequent track also comes through with the phone line puns on “Star 67″, which kicks back the anthemic bangers with more melodic braggadocio. I especially love the beat-change up, which then has Drake changing his flow again in a more calm and collected flow over the airiest production on the entire album. 

The album then proceeds to give us a random mix of both hip-hop and R&B tracks, however as this is merely a commercial mixtape there wasn’t a grand theme that needed the tracks to be in any sort of chronological order. However, when Drake did dip into his R&B-tinged side of his artistry, he still didn’t disappoint. There weren’t any cringy, drunk-dialling narrative on this album, and the emotional baggage is definitely in order. Yet, we still have some great opportunities to simp. Although not a fan of him, PARTYNEXTDOOR makes for a great moody, passionate appearance on “Preach”. The interlude that follows after sounds equally airy and dreampop-inspired, with some trap-flavored high hats and some heavy bass. We kick up the energy again with “Used To”, which features more video game samples in Goldeneye from the Nintendo 64 catalogue. Lil Wayne gives a worthwhile appearance here as well, making for variety on the track. This momentum then carries into “6 Man”, which has a pretty decent yet commonplace instrumental. Drake delivers some good bars here, but the track isn’t a standout. “Now and Forever” is probably the most emotionally irresponsible track on the album, featuring some whiney refrains and verses. Here, he sounds the most insecure over a trap-flavored yet clunky instrumental. The song is decent but I feel plays too long at almost five minutes. However, the next track surprised me in the sense that it had a pretty sweet Travi$ Scott appearance. Never would I have thought the two would come through with a track together. The sound from Scott’s Rodeo is evident on the track, and Drake sounds great with this sound as well.

The latter tracks are more reflective and lyrical, with less hard-hitting tracks. Here, he really hones into his songwriting. “You and the 6″ is a heartfelt ode to his mother, which showcases a flow that replicates him talking directly to his mother. I really like how honest the track sounds, yet isn’t brutally TMI regarding the issues he addresses. We then get one the smoothest R&B jams I’ve heard Drake on. “Jungle” is this heavily melodic, lush and sweetly produced track that exhibits some fantastic singing. Although the track doesn’t change-up and runs for a decent amount of time, the song still sounds great with the Gabriel Garzon-Montano sample. We then end off the album with this heavily lyrical showcase on “6PM in New York”, which features some of the best bars he’s delivered (including the shade towards Tyga). 

With this album, we get quality material on all fronts. Drake hones in on his songwriting, delivery and beat selection. Yeah, Take Care was a more successful record with some great cuts as well. But if you want a Drake that really thrives within his hip-hop and R&B persona with quality music, peep this shit. This was the project that not only caught the attention of everyone in the rap game, but in the music industry as one of the biggest artists of this generation.

[thechocolategarage]

From Vietnam & Eastern Congo to Browned Butter

August 4, 2017

Happy Friday! Guess what we are tasting tomorrow? You'll get to travel from Vietnam, through Madagascar all the way to Eastern Congo, to end in a cast iron skillet with butter browning... All while you are happily ensconced in our cozy, blue velvet corner, feet firmly grounded on our happy chocolate floor, imaged above. Mmm. No better way to start your Saturday! Which reminds me, if you want to do something helpful for The Chocolate Garage, I am not a partaker in Yelp, on either end, business side or consumer, but we would love it if you are a regular and love what we do, if you could go find our page on Yelp and write an honest review, what you love, what we could improve on, why you come visit us. We recently got a not so great review, so we would love for you to help populate our review page with additional experiences and describe your relationship with The Chocolate Garage! Thank you. Now, I decided to spend most of today's newsletter going into some depth about each bar. I have been focussed quite a bit on additional activities around Happy Chocolate, that make it possible for us to keep doing what we do Wednesdays and Saturdays at The Chocolate Garage, and I feel a consequence has been more talk and excitement around our trips, and perhaps less focus on each bar we are holding up, tasting and celebrating. So, I by no means I am less excited about our trips, they are a great way to go deeper into understanding the infinitely complex set of steps that have to happen to result in Happy Chocolate, and they are also our chance to not only share the trips with those ON the trip, but also let folks who can't come, have a peak into some of the challenges in the supply chain, and learn about inspiring projects that are starting to build alternate models that are more thoughtful ways of doing business. Saturday Tasting Menu Arete Fine Chocolate Lam Dong 73% Patric Madagascar 67% Original Beans Femmes de Virunga 55% Patric Chocolate Browned Butter Bar Arete Fine Chocolate LAM DONG 73% For the new folks to our happy chocolate world, let's dig deeper into this bar. And the makers. David and Leslie Senk are high school sweethearts who found each other once again later in life and are so sweetly in love with each other and with small batch chocolate making. Leslie left her job in the dental world, and has been full time into chocolate making for at least a few years, and David has held on to this tech day job, joining Leslie nights and weekends to live the chocolate life. They have the long game in mind, with plans to bring their company to a certain level, learning more and more, before eventually moving full, full time into chocolate. David and Leslie have been coming in to The Chocolate Garage since soon after we opened in 2010. I remember they once played with germinating some seeds and they brought a half dozen cacao seedlings to give away to customers to grow in their hopefully hot an humid bathrooms... they brought in chocolate tests that were back then all vegan, experimenting with how to use cocoa butter to add various flavors, I remember finding the early tastes not delicious. What I think worked really well with this company, is that David and Leslie were super open to feedback, and kept bringing in more and more samples, they sent their samples off to other well versed chocolate industry folks, sometimes including a bar they thought was bad, to test whether their ideas lined up with other "more experienced" tasters. For years they made test batches, got feedback from many people, both citizen tasters as well as folks deeply steeped in the industry. Then they started building out a factory, they made batch after batch, until we were super excited about their Brasil 75% and their Brasil 70%. They launched these bars at The Chocolate Garage, and immediately our customers fell in love, and almost always, loved one or the other bar better. These were 2 ingredient bars, using an origin that had not been very common at that time, and the love affair with Areté was real. As they keep experimenting with various origins, making tiny batches, learning how to work with so many different origins, tweaking roasts, tweaking conching, they have come to their style. What fascinates me is that their attitude about learning, testing, improving is still there. I sense they still feel that they are in school. Learning, experimenting, sharing and finding their own point of view, all while building new machines to improve their process. I am so excited for their next big steps, and I am honored to get to work with them so closely. Lam Dong, from Vietnam, let's talk about that. This is the third or fourth bar using cacao from Vietnam. Most of you who have been coming to The Chocolate Garage for some time, probably first tasted this origin when we had brought in Marou Faiseurs de Chocolat. Marou really brought Vietnam to our attention, and showcased the varied flavor profiles from various farms located in different parts of Vietnam. After launching their beautifully designed bars with award winning packaging, they also were committed to making sure cacao farmers who produced high quality cacao also had access to a market that was paying top dollar for cacao. We started to see smaller craft chocolate makers in the US and Canada and Europe and ok, the world (craft chocolate is definitely an international phenomenon now), making bars from these beans. We loved Areté's version of Tien Giang, and Ben Tre, and now, tomorrow we are featuring the Lam Dong. We also carry their Lam Dong 100%, which I think may be the first 100% Vietnam bar. Tomorrow we will taste their 73% version, which has 12% added cocoa butter that was pressed in house from the same beans. So, what does that mean? It means most of the time, when craft chocolate makers do add cocoa butter--which many do not because they stick to two ingredient bars-- they add cocoa butter (natural or deodorized) that was pressed from other beans, usually without much traceability. What Areté is doing is pressing those same beans they are using for the bar (Lam Dong) and adding 12% same origin butter to total a 73% bar. The first maker I know of to do this as a matter of principle, was Shawn Askinosie, who usually added about 2-3% butter to his bars, but always same origin. The reason more makers don't do this, is because it is a huge pain. :) It is hard, hard work, your machine breaks down, you need to work out what to do with the cacao cake left over (remember our bake off with Areté cocoa powder?), your bars end up being more pricey. That was a little interlude, I am realizing I have SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY! So, one more tiny bit of education, if you want to get into what the 73% means, in this case given the 12% cocoa butter, it means that this is what the little picture would look like if you wanted to see the ingredients of this bar: 61% cacao beans in a pile + 12% cocoa butter + 27% cane sugar. Yup. Maybe I should move on to some of the other bars, because at this rate, this newsletter ain't ever going to end. Patric Chocolate Madagascar 67% Mr. Alan. McClure. I remember the first time I talked to him. He was off to Sweden for some reason, they were doing some work around craft chocolate, maybe wanting to showcase his work, don't remember the details, and he is too busy with school and making chocolate for me to call him to ask him that detail... but he called me as he was heading to the airport, to answer questions about my recent shipment, which at that time, I had stored in my home closet, to keep it in a cool, dry, dark place. This was 2009 or early 2010, I had been tasting his bars for some time by then, but was finally bringing these in to sell in my soon to open retail space. I got my first glimpse of his perfectionist nature, with how he shipped and wrapped the bars, to protect what was obviously a deep work of love. The bar we are going to taste tomorrow already existed, but the formulation, the packaging, and even the man behind the bar were all very different. The energy and optimism was strong, the bars were two ingredient, much smaller, and the packaging was a small dark colored cardboard box, with a golden Patric logo, and a deep orange-red alien looking cacao pod on the cover. This man was *way* ahead of his time. I remember tasting these bars with a dear friend who was making amazing confections back then, and we were both blown away by the variety of flavors, even between the different Madagascar bars: the 67% and the 75% were each dramatically different. Alan was sourcing beans from Bertil Åkesson, the man responsible for almost every Malagasy origin bar you on any store shelf (an example of an exception: Madecasse uses cacao from other Malagasy farms) and his original line up was all Madagascar. 10 years later, this cacao still exists and is top notch. We used to say this was a bean you couldn't mess up, but I suppose that would be a whole other post... Alan makes magic with these beans, and has been doing so for years. If you want to do something fun and creative, buy a Patric Habanero tomorrow, break it open and taste it up against his plain 67% and see how the Habanero infused salt drives the citrus notes in totally new directions. It is a fascinating experience, it turns into more lime notes, and the balance of the heat and strong fruit and chocolate notes is perhaps perfection. Even if you don't like super fruity bars, like me. Somehow Alan just brings it all together in such a masterful way. So much to say about Alan, but suffice to say, there is also a connection between Areté and Alan, I have said this before and will say it again, to all budding makers: If I were to get into making chocolate, my first stop (after reading the relevant books on this topic) would be Colombia, Missouri, to consult with Alan on how to make chocolate. Spend the money, it is so worth it. David went to spend a few days with him, and says it saved him so much learning and time. Alan is a man of his word, a man of incredible integrity, has become a dear friend and we have both been deeply involved in each other's evolving business model, always making time to advise one another, share our expertise to the other's benefit (I am not a perfectionist in the same way Alan is, and I hate building spreadsheets ;) and I would not be where I am without Alan's trust, friendship and dry sense of humor. He is not the only one to recognize, but since we are talking about him right now, there it is. Original Beans Femmes de Virunga 55% This is an interesting story. And I suspect we will see more and more of this in the future. Actually, if I were to move into making chocolate, this may well be the model I would use. Our next film (after Hawaii which is imminent!), on Switzerland will showcase this model, and we will meet and visit with the latest maker to start working with this company, effectively outsourcing the chocolate making part, to very competent makers, while focussing on all the other sections of the supply chain. Original Beans works very closely with Max Felchlin, perhaps the Happiest Chocolate maker in Switzerland, and sources the beans and oversees the recipes, producing bars that they then sell internationally. While we were visiting this summer, we saw Vera Hofman, from Original Beans, who was on site that day to work on some product development. Max Felchlin is an amazing company, that both makes their own products that serve confectionery companies internationally, and also do private labelling with various chocolate makers and other brands who want to promote their products (think chocolate Swiss Army knives by Victorinox, or Mövenpick chocolate ice cream). Original Beans has taken on working directly with the bean origins, and marketing their product and educating the customer, and leaving the chocolate making expertise in the hands of the chocolate maker. They are definitely involved in developing how they want their bars to taste, but they let the technical aspects of chocolate making rest in the hands of Max Felchlin. The bar we will taste will be the 55% Stong Dark Milk made with cacao from Virunga Park in Eastern Congo. You can read more about this and other projects on their website, the truth is this is the company I have the least direct relationship with, having met Vera briefly this summer, and having had some virtual interaction with one of their original founders back in 2008 or 2009, I cannot give you as much info as I would like. So far, all the pieces of data I have collected and learned about point in the direction of Happy Chocolate, but my depth of knowledge on this company is more limited than most of the other companies we carry. And, in my experience, digging and going deep is the only way to really know and build a relationship. It takes time and interaction. While I keep doing that, please enjoy this delicious bar, that is working towards positive change in Eastern Congo. Patric Chocolate Browned Butter I won't go into more detail about Patric Chocolate, since I did that above, but: This Bar. I think it exemplifies the process Alan goes through to make a fantastic bar. I tell this story all the time at the Garage, as I lovingly call our teeny, weeny space, that is an old carriage house/garage, Alan did two test batches a week, for three and a half months, before he was feeling this bar was ready. He experimented with the brand of butter he used, how he browned it, which brown sugar he would use, what blend of cacao worked best. I think this is why his bars are always masterfully made, even if they are not your exact taste preference. I have some bars of Patric's that are not my cup of tea, but they are always made to such a quality and thoughtfulness, that leaves most other inclusion bars ashamed. Patric Chocolate does not use an inclusion to cover up flaws, he uses the best mix of beans and other flavors and ingredients to make the best combination of flavors possible. That alone is rather rare in the chocolate industry. Sometimes it makes sense to take some harsh cacao and do a dark milk, arguably that brings out the best in a dark milk. But most of the time what I am tasting and seeing, is inclusions as distractions, attempt to cover up flawed beans or a lack of technical skills. Alan's wide range of inclusion bars is responding to a market that wants new, change, flavors, and fun! He excels at single origin, and also rocks the playful bars! So, enjoy! I hope you have a fantastic tasting tomorrow, I will be deep into working on the films, and preparing the next trip to India... and Nicaragua. Please email us if you would like to learn more about either of these trips, you can also go back to earlier newsletters (past few weeks, on our blog) to see more info on each trip, I must run off to another meeting and cut this newsletter off! :) Happy Friday again, Sunita p.s. for those who are curious, wrote this in under two hours! Hope there are no mega typos! Please forgive!

I can't wait to share Episode 4 of The Chocolate Garage in Switzerland, where we talk more about Choba Choba's team (above) and their inspiring work. 

One of the many beautiful natural scenes in Switzerland, here I am admiring the terraced vineyards above Lac Leman and the majestic mountains rising up across the lake on the French side.