#This starts with unfollowing a bunch of people that only post neg stuff because I am a very impressionable person

[juice-boxy]

New goal: be kind and less of a hater

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: tack-tick

today's interviewee is tack-tick, a pioneer of the "phistin" ship and DSMP fan since before the first election! below is a transcript of the interview.

Q: What was your overall time in MCYTblr like?

A: I'd say my overall time in Mcytblr could be described as finding diamonds in the rough. This fandom is defined by finding your group, sticking to them and if you're smart not really looking beyond that. I did look beyond that and saw a lot of discourse and such. I had a good time with my friends but I did get negatively affected by the discourse at times. It was kind of a toxic shithole but by God mcytblr was our shithole lol

Q: Do you remember any specific discourse that affected you, or was it just the overall culture around you?

A: As a Technoblade main, it was the discourse surrounding his character that messed with me. At the time, I was mutuals (none in the phistin palace dw guys) with some people who hated his character. I, as an anxious teenager, was very worried it would cause drama if I unfollowed them and my dash became a lot of those long negative essays about how he was an awful person and yknow the drill. It was mainly my own fault and my dash became signfigantly better once I realized no one would be offended of I unfollowed, blocked a bunch of tags, started up my own discord server and focused more on writing fanfic instead of doomscrolling. A good lesson in curating your dash of anything else. (Btw those former mutuals are fine people, we just had radically different tastes in what we liked and disliked about the Dream SMP)

Q: You mentioned the "phistin palace"-- before we get into that, would you like to explain the "phistin" rarepair itself?

A: Now we are cooking! So, Phistin is the ship of Kristin and Philza. It's main focus was on the scraps of lore that we had about their relationship which was Kristin was the immortal goddess of Death and they couldn't really see each other often but loved each other very much. I'd say it's main appeal was being one of the few ships that was just really stable in the Dream SMP compared to the Karlnapity polycule and whatever youd call Quackbur. Fun fact, I can't find the post now but if i remember correctly me and tumblr user Demonadelem helped name the pair Phistin. Although, that was ages ago so I could be misremebering

Q: Was the ship entirely within the SMP, or was it just the general ship name for the real-life couple?

A: It was both. Since Kristin didn't really stream on the dream smp, a lot of her personality had to be based on what Phil said about her and her other streams. Basically, lore about the ship was pulled from the SMP but the dynamics and personality was from both. You could play around with the dynamic if you focused on Kristin being a goddess

Q: With that basic information laid out-- what was the "phistin palace"?

A: The Phistin Palace was a discord server I founded in August of 2022. Phistin was a ship that was basically a side thing I did in fandom because my main focus was Technoblade and emerald duo stuff. I think if you're a Technoblade fan you're legally obligated to be a Philza fan and vice versa. I don't make the rules. So Phistin was something I did when I wanted a break from Technoblade as a way to practice romantic shipping.

Then Technoblade passed away and I didn't want to do anything with his character for a while so I focused completely on Phistin. However, when I tried to find any fics they were either a background ship with only one line or Kristin was already dead from a tragic disease who's main symptoms were lying daintily in bed. While I was writing my own long form Phistin focused fic, Two Birds if anyone read it, I got a comment that complimented me for "giving her an actual charatcer" and maaaan that is a very low bar to be praised for. So, I started the palace as a way to find other Phistin fans who actually cared about them beyond Kristin being angst fodder for SBI.

Q: Do you have any fond memories in specific of the "Phistin Palace" discord server?

A: Oh so many. During the Syndicate finale, three of us all liveblogged and freaked the fuck out when Kristin showed up for the first time in a minecraft skin on the server. I made on of those AI chatbot things that was popular for a bit and the bot was supposed to be the Kristin character. I asked if she had a pet and she said she has a gecko named Tim. The entire server instantly decided they would die for Tim and he's now an emote. The general chat is also named Tim Time Fucker. A mermaid AU that was made that the majority of the server contributed a lot of lore to we named it the Communist Mermaid AU because the server collectively owns it now. Many good moments there

Q: Beyond the Phistin Palace, are there any large community events that you remember/took part in, or did you mostly stick to your friend group?

A: I remember The Penis SMP of course. I never really took part in large community events but I did watch them happen. I read the Passerine chapter where Tommy died becasue my dash flipped out when that dropped. I'd also try to watch Sad-ist animatics live when I could. At most, Id make a meme during a stream that would rack up a couple hundred notes or one thousand if I was lucky A thousand was like once or twice I think

Q: You mentioned that you were also a Technoblade fan before you became more focused on Phistin-- was your experience in that side of the fandom any different?

A: It certainly had more content than Phistin did lol. I was never really in any Technoblade discords or anything but back in the day it was focused on emerald duo and being funny. or angsty. Nowadays, it's way less lively unfortunately. It's not as bad as in 2022 but Technoblade fancontent seems to be less foucsed on the character and more on memorials/remembrance. At some point, you run out of things to say and not a lot of people wanted to stay in a fandom that just felt weighed down by it all. I did leave so things could perk up someday but I don't think that's likely

Q: We've talked about the fandom and how it responds to content-- let's talk about the content itself. What were some of your favorite moments from the Dream SMP as a whole?

A: The Red Festival Technoblade stream was the first one I ever watched live so that's a good one. The stream where L'manberg getting blown up at the end of The Manberg Arc is iconic for an underrated reason. I don't know how many people remember but Phil was highly speculated to be on the Dream SMP someday. On the day of that stream, he started on his hardcore world, then stopped his stream and did his dramatic switch surprise entrance to enter the Dream SMP for the first time. Also Technoblade escaping the anvil and then killing Quackity with a toothpick was great. I've never liked watching Twitch streams on my Ipad so most of my favorite moments come from YouTube

Q: Were you sad that Phistin wasn't a more popular ship, or did you enjoy the tight-knit community?

A: I was sad Kristin kept friggin dying, the poor woman lol. Sometimes I wish it was a bit more popular but the community was nice. The main issue is Phistin stuff started tanking hard on Ao3 in terms of numbers and tended to get misstagged quite a bit

Q: You've brought up a few times that Kristin was often fridged, disregarded, or replaced (on several notable occasions, by an actual Samsung fridge). How did you feel about it? Do you think there was any particular reason for it?

A: I mean, I really don't like it but I understand it. A lot of people loved that SBI angst but also wanted to write all the SBI. So the obvious solution is to kill off Kristin for free angst and keep all the SBI in the story. Passerine is a fic i respect a lot but it also kickstarted this trend to be honest. Kristin herself also didn't physically show up in the lore a lot so it was really tricky to write her. When I first wrote her, it was intimidating because I didn't have many fics to look at as good examples.

Was it shitty and a bit sexist? Yes but I don't think sexism was the only reason. Kristin's character was in a unique situation compared to the others. I have no problem with Kristin dying in a fic. The main issue is that often came with her personality being reduced to good mom and that's it. I'm not gonna call a bunch of probably first time writers evil sexists when I know what it's like to not know how to write her and being scared you'll get her completely wrong.

Q: Since it's come up, would you mind giving a quick rundown of what exactly the fanfic "Passerine" is? (As well as any memories you have relating to it!)

A: If i'm being honest, I only read the chapter where Tommy got murked. What I know from osmosis is it's an SBI royalty AU that had some kind of meta twist at the end and it was very sad. It also got a sad-ist animatic made out of it which jesus christ I'd give for that. I tried it but the writing style was too wordy for my liking. It's mainly important for Phistin history even though Kristin wasn't in it. No, The Fridge died in it but everyone just kinda assumed it was Kristin for long enough it got the ball rolling. Also I think Niki read it on a stream

Q: Before we wrap up, is there anything else you remember about MCYTblr/the DSMP that you'd like to talk about?

A: The DSMP sure was the minecraft server of all time that is defined as a server that was doomed from the start. Whoever makes a video essay on it is gonna have a hell of a job. 10/10 experience would not recommenced. Hello to the Phistin Palace if any of you read this :D

Mcytblr is getting more chill with shipping from what I've seen. Thank God, keeping making Philza Minecraft kiss those men and his wife.

Also SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE

[thejudgingtrash]

Annabeth is a good person,but not a nice or pleasant one,IMO.

YES.

That’s it. That’s the post. Pack it up everybody, we just cracked the case and cleared up one of the most compelling fights in the PJO fandom since forever. Good job everybody, clap it out and there’s the door! Don’t forget ordering the drinks at Starbucks, Mitch! They’re on me!

Okay, but on a more serious note: YES. YES EXACTLY.

And before some of you roll your eyes or grab your pitchforks – put your biases aside and hear me out for once. I like Annabeth. She’s my in my top three characters only second to Percy himself. I love Percabeth. It’s my favorite ship in the entire series and to be frank, the only ship that I care about PJO wise. Hell, I spend my time creating my own headcanons or writing my own fanfics with Percabeth being the star in them.

But that is not to say that I’m unable to see how certain things have developed over the years or where they stand now in regard to Annabeth. I’m not here to ignore things that have been said and/or done due to or in the name of Annabeth and I’m not here to vilify anyone that doesn’t like her. And I’m here to admit that I’m guilty of some of the things that may be addressed in this meta essay that you will read in just a second. However, I try my best to assure you, that I’m for once able to recognize my own bias.

Warning: a monster essay lies right upon you.

This should count as a paper of its own.

Back to the statement on top: I would go out even further to reframe your claim, anon:

Annabeth Chase is a good character but not a nice or pleasant person.

Annabeth is a wonderful character but she isn’t a nice one. Or at least not nice to everyone. She is (construction wise if I dare say) the best character out of the series. She has her positive traits (she’s caring, she’s emotional, she’s encouraged and volunteers, she fights for what she believes in, she forgives (even if doing so begrudgingly)) but she also has her negative traits (she’s stubborn, she’s brash, changing her mind takes forever, she is prejudiced, she baits others). That balances things out. She is branded as the intelligent kid but does irrational things (like I’ve just said a) she’s a kid and b) she’s not a robot). She should probably know better, but we all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from them. The clouds in the sky do blur and cover our visions sometimes.

Annabeth had clashes with other characters or was about to have fights due to her stubbornness or jealousy (Rachel, Reyna, etc.) and has of course her problems with the mortal world and her family but she also found new friends, some things cleared up throughout the narration and she was/is quite popular in Camp Half-Blood.

The thing is: she doesn’t have to be nice or pleasant (as a character). Or at least not all the time. Her character is humanized. That is what or who she is. Human. She does stand out as a character, not just because she’s the (future) love interest. She feels like someone you could meet in real life and either adore from the top to the bottom or declare as your biggest enemy. And that’s totally okay if you lean either way – liking or disliking her. Or even feeling indifferent about her. Also great!

To say that she has been the best character that Riordan has crafted is easy to say, because she has been sculpted after Riordan’s wife. He had a model he could rub some of real-life events or traits on. That’s not the problem. The problem truly doesn’t lie on Riordan’s side for the most part for once.

The problem is inherently on the fandom’s side. What the fandom does, how it acts and how it treats Annabeth as a character is the problem. The problems vary but it’s mostly the mischaracterization of Annabeth, starting fights and fan/ship wars, internalized misogyny (in some cases) and how some of the Annabeth stans lash out (ha, got firsthand experience in that field among many of my friends and mutuals!). There is a reason why many people are wary of people that have Annabeth or Percabeth related URLs.

The fact that we see Annabeth mostly through Percy’s lens and (until the Heroes of Olympus saga hits) we never really see her in chill everyday situations is essentially Riordan leaving the back door of the house open, ready for all of you asshats to rob his mansion in Boston. Because a frame on a character means that we don’t get to see the character in its entirety (unlike we do with Percy in PJO for the most part). That means a bunch of stuff is left open for interpretation which is the reason why Annabeth gets so many polarized headcanon and opinions tossed around. I think that is one of the true appeals of Annabeth. You can add on stuff and it necessarily doesn’t have to contradict itself.

We have people calling her abusive due to a (n admittedly stupid and unnecessary) judo flip and we have people that act like she’s never done anything wrong. People sorta use this excuse to form and shape Annabeth however they want and distort her characterization.

People in the fandom act like Annabeth is some weird prized possession. We perceive Annabeth mostly through the eyes of others (Percy, Apollo, etc.) and when we had some sort of insight in her ways (MOA, HOH) it felt… weird? Somewhat? Like Riordan left two bullet points of her characterization and told the ghostwriter: aight, fuck it up, gringo, see you on Tuesday and greet Fred the next time you see him for me. 

There have been many posts lately (by Tharini, Simi, Sawasawako, Jewishpercy and Annie I believe?) that HOO Percabeth felt weird. That they felt weirdly constructed, that there was no conflict, no growth. It felt stagnating, like we’re turning back. We had five books prior where we had Annabeth and Percy slowly shifting from disliking to liking and crushing each other. True development. And when we finally got the cake it felt… dissatisfying. Like the cheap box stuff and not the delicious exquisite taste that we were promised.

I said it previously in my Percabeth ship roast, but let me repeat myself: many Percabeth related things are straight up fanon. Some of it is very old fanon so that’s been unable to distinguish unless you’ve read the books recently and subtract nearly 99,9% of things you see on Tumblr (and occasionally the other shitty parts of the fandom like Reddit, IG, Twitter. Although they mostly steal and recycle tumblr stuff oh well. But back to the topic).

The way people treat Annabeth is so strange. She’s either an innocent fluffy smush baby that’s never harmed a fly and all that she wants for Christmas is being Percy’s lapdog or she’s the devil incarnate, broke into your house, killed your parents Batman style, kicked your puppy and didn’t flush the toilet on the way out. I think this is what mostly makes people hate her or the ship Percabeth. And both extremes are wrong and right at the same time? She is multifaceted so both stereotypes are true and untrue and sorta cancel each other out in the same way.

The true reason why people dislike Annabeth is because the stans are doing the most. (The haters as well, don’t get me wrong, but oh boy. Piss of a stan and you’ll know what I mean). That isn’t inherently new. Are you guys old enough to remember the ship wars that have happened cross platform? Perachel vs. Percabeth? Oh boy, oh boy. I saw some kids on tumblr a few months ago trying to infiltrate both tags and start shit (and also fail). The fact that Rachel still gets used as the bitchy (ex) girlfriend in fanfics? It’s 2020 guys. I know this apocalyptic year is far from perfect and over but I think we can let this trope die, right? Right? I thought we’ve established that Rachel is a pretty chill charcter by now… right?

If you posted your stuff on FFN back in 2010-2013 and it wasn’t the typical cutesy Percabeth story (Goode High, the gods read TLT, punk/prep Percabeth, college AU, etc.) people would’ve come for your fucking throat. Not because the story or the narration was shit. But because the pairing wasn’t Annabeth and Percy (in the sense that Annabeth had to be paired with Percy. I mean Percy gets shipped with everyone and their mother but for Annabeth it was strictly Percy. As annoying as this whole Connabeth thing is – the people behind it actually had a point. She never had a different love interest unless it’s a Percy centered story and he goes off dating Athena, Artemis and Zoe at the same time for some odd reason. Yeah, FFN Percy ships are something). Or it wasn’t the action filled canon compliant story or it wasn’t an AU that was popular.

People were really stubborn, snobbish and wanted their stuff in the four five boxes that were the most popular ones and that’s it. People have been bullied off the site in many fandoms, so it’s not a PJO-only thing but it’s still sad that it happened. (Off-note: most of these FFN tropes are still alive and well and thriving on AO3. Don’t be so snobbish and pretend that every piece you’d find there is a holy grail. There’s a lot of trash you have to waddle through. Same with Wattpad, Tumblr or anywhere else where fanfics get posted. Also had this discussion with Annabeth stans. Sigh).

And Tumblr back then? Forget it, wasn’t much better.

That view has sorta changed (at least for people that have been in the fandom for several years or have managed to find a way to navigate through it) but some of the negative sentiment from back in the day has survived. Be it by new fans coming in or from old fans that never let their stance die. The aggression feels differently and somewhat not. (I don’t know if the anon function had been abused that much back in the day. I was an observer not a participant in the fandom).

Crack a joke at Annabeth’s expense (Kal’s famous “Annabeth is a Republican” post or Dee Dee’s and many others “Annabeth has the education of a second grader, chill with the college plans, girlie” stance) and you have people insulting you, making callout posts, unfollowing and blocking you (based on only that? Okay, honey), making aggressive counter-posts, etc. in a minute. If you respond with “It’s a joke, it’s not real” you have a 50/50 chance of either getting blown off or embarrassing them so that they apologize for once.

This isn’t just about jokes. You can make a headcanon that’s not the cozy cute convenient mainstream saga and people would react the same way. Or art piece (no, not including the whole Tannabeth Blackchase shtick done by Viria and others) or fanfics.

People project so much onto the unfinished canvas that is Annabeth Chase that any form of negative sentiment as little as someone not liking her to straight up criticism, regardless of how tiny it may be, seems like an affront. Like an invitation to a fight. Like an insult to them, their character, everything they believe in. Let me state something:

You are NOT Annabeth Chase. Annabeth Chase IS NOT you. Annabeth Chase is NOT real. Her feeling cannot be hurt. Someone criticizing, disliking, joking about her or even insulting her will not bother her. Someone making a statement about her is not an insult to YOU.

Let me repeat that:

Annabeth Chase isn’t real. Annabeth Chase isn’t you.

So think a little before you act? I get it when you’re a kid and new to fandoms or haven’t been up with fan cultures in the past and are back in the scene. But if you’re in your late teens or even older as an adult and you’re unable to understand that you aren’t what you like – you aren’t the extension of a fictional character – I feel incredibly sorry for you. Because that’s just incredibly sad. Someone disliking something you like isn’t an attack of your character. It shows you that you are you and the other person is a human just like you. That they just have different taste. Disliking something you like isn’t a crime, you know? But me feeling sorry for the way some of y’all act won’t mean that that’s even remotely okay. Especially if you’re no longer in the intended audience for PJO age wise and should know better.

This isn’t a “white stans” only thing. I’ve seen and witnessed firsthand how people of color, mainly women of color, act the same or not even worse when it comes to her character. People have projected their problems and real-life occurring events into her character (I’m sure that she isn’t the only character nor that this is the only fandom where this is happening) and in some cases like I’ve said cannot separate their own personality from the fictional world. Fights with woc happened because of Annabeth fucking Chase. So many things have happened in the fandom the past few months, mostly due to people being forced staying at home because of the quarantine but I’d say it’s 10% on quarantine and 90% on people for acting up like this.

So here’s a little story: There was the act of Riordan blowing the fandom up because of his own stupidity and being unable to apologize for his mischaracterization and lack of research (the whole Piper fiasco) back in June (?) and admits the upset fandom, people on Twitter, Tumblr and Discord legit thought that none of that mattered and that the outcry was destroying Annabeth Chase’s birthday. That’s right. People thought that Annabeth Chase’s non-existing birthday because she’s a fictional character had a higher priority than the rupture and prevalent racism in the fandom. Okay. This isn’t a great look, Annabeth stans. And this of course pissed a lot of people off. I made a post about it and someone not only berated three other people on said post but no, we had a mighty argument which had disrupted many friendships in our circle which haven’t recovered until this very day. We both had our parts in it and no one is innocent. But the cause of this still remains Annabeth Chase or how people prioritize her non-existing well-being. Anyway. I’m getting agitated just thinking about it.

Let’s go back to the characterization thing with Annabeth. Let me remind you:

Annabeth Chase is an asshole. There I’ve said it in a post ages ago (too lazy to look it up, sorry) and I’ll say it again. And that’s not me insulting her. That’s me actually loving that about her. Annabeth is one of the very few unapologetic female characters that really showed all young readers across the world that you can be a girl, a badass, smart, strong, standing up for yourself and what you believe in. You don’t have to be nice. You don’t have to hide your feelings. You don’t need a man in all cases but it’s also okay to accept help and defeat.

A large reason why I think she’s an incredibly important character in children’s literature/YA because many other novels (mostly (sadly)) have the “Oh, I’m a white skinny dark-haired girl that likes unconventional things like READING. I’m not like the other girls, that take care of themselves and pamper themselves by enjoying shopping and wearing make-up. No, I’d rather be one of the boys but a sweet cute little boy and not the jock fuck that drank vodka shots out of a filthy shoe once. Despite me calling myself hideous every man in a 10-kilometer radius falls in love with me and tells me I’m oh so sexy and by the way I’m only 16 years old” shit going on for no goddamn reason.

Yes, I do blame Twilight for this mostly in recent years, but this trope isn’t by any means knew. Pretty sure that you could even use classics as Pride and Prejudice and dissect them in the same manner (Bold statement: Lizzy Bennet is the OG Bella Swan. There. Go fight somewhere in the corner, people). The new wave of YA focuses on girls belittling themselves and only starting to believe in themselves because someone else (mostly the male love interest) tells them they’re worth it. And these books hit the mainstream because they’re incredibly bland and picture perfect white.

With Annabeth it’s different. She shows up for the job and is done with it. (Brie Larson would probably be the perfect in real life version of her. You either like or dislike her. Or you really don’t care). That is what is so refreshing about her. Her unapologetic nature. Can it be off-putting? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes! Hell, every time I read The Lightning Thief, I want to rip her goddamn head off. And it’s just so well written. Her shift from mistrusting Percy but secretly still believing in him to her opening up. Wow, Riordan did something right there.

Annabeth Chase isn’t a young character. She has existed along with PJO for 15 years. She’s on her way to the second decade. I’m pretty sure that with the success of Percy Jackson (and Harry Potter) many lives have been warped and shaped.

But when I say the problem lies mostly in the fandom, it doesn’t mean that Riordan’s completely innocent. The only problem that I have with Annabeth lies not truly with her but the fact that Riordan is only able to produce three variations of female characters:

The sweetheart (Hazel, Silena, Calypso, Hestia)

The strong feminist (Annabeth, Piper, Thalia, Reyna, Artemis)

The bitch (Drew, nearly every female goddess in the goddamn Riordanverse next to every female monster)

And these female characters only know three endings:

End up married with a mortgage, three kids, two dogs and a cat somewhere in Connecticut by the age of twelve

Get dumped into the hunt

Chill on Mount Olympus and only come down to be a nuisance and/or give a cryptic message before going back and doing a godly rave party or something

We know Annabeth as the badass strong female first (or the bitchy character we’re supposed to actually like. Choose your approach), the blueprint so to speak, so some of the other characters feel almost pale in comparison and almost not needed? Doesn’t mean that other characters can’t behave similarly, but it feels kind of redundant especially if their character arcs end in a rather anticlimactic way (Thalia, Reyna). The new additions are the much needed woc as the main story with PJO was inherently white (anyway stan black!Percy and Grover, folks). So it’s not to bash on the new characters, it’s more Riordan’s fault more than anything.

Since Riordan only knows three female character arcs it feels like he tried to copy the formula several ways with different nuances. Some more or less successful. This is where fandom actually comes in handy and helps create more distinguished and fleshed out characters in form of headcanons or fanfiction.

But even in these cases people still make it about Annabeth when it’s time for characters of colors to shine. Remember that whole spiel and discussion that broke out when people (Kal, diver-up, Caitlyn, Bee, reynaisalesbian, etc.) joked about or criticized that Annabeth thinks that she’s having it harder because she’s a blonde? In front of Hazel and Piper? If she would’ve been a real person that’s an invitation for getting decked. And then all hell broke loose because Annabeth stans couldn’t accept the fact that in the real world and/or in fictional worlds the woc/coc have it harder? That the white woman wasn’t the victim that needed the coddling? Yeah, that was mad pathetic.

I hope you people get my point?

Well fuck. I wrote so many things and have the feeling I’ve said nothing. Anyway, I hope I made sense. This is way too long.

TLDR: Chill about Annabeth please. She’s an important character but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to like her, regardless of being a character in the books or a reader/fan of PJO in real life. She isn’t nice or a sweetheart all the time. She also isn’t the monstrous asshole that some try to make out of her.

Peace out.

[sageinacage]

Why I am leaving this blog

This is the truth as of why I'm abandoning my tumblr, @/sageinacage.

CW: swearing/harsher language; mentions of breaking boundaries, sexualization, bondage, non-con/tickle torture, kinks, toxicity, overall rly uncomfortable topics

TLDR at the bottom.

Before I start, I want to say that I’m not talking about everyone in this community. Not everyone is like this, but still a lot of people are, and unfortunately the negatives are louder than the positives.

Having this blog was quite an adventure. It definitely had its ups and downs, but I was quick to notice that it had a majority of downs instead of ups. As of now, I'm dreading being on this page.

I don't feel comfortable here anymore and it's incredibly hard for me to feel any sense of safety in this community, and I honestly feel personally ashamed to be in the MCYT tickle community with the bullshit me and others have seen and experienced.

People go around on anonymous and practically harass creators, I've seen so many rude anons get sent to myself, my friends, and people on my dash. People are also breaking CC's boundaries left and right, and no one will listen to anyone when it's spoken up about. I remember making a post stating that if you send anon hate then DNI, and I lost 4 followers. So disappointing. Actually after I took a screenshot of my boundary/trigger list and posted it, someone sent me an ask and did EXACTLY what was listed in my triggers. It went fully against my boundaries, and it caused me to feel scared whenever I get a notification in my inbox, because I’m scared that somebody is trying to purposely trigger me again; and I shouldn’t have to be on Tumblr with such paranoia as I’m experiencing.

Going onto the topic of the more weird and uncomfortable side of the community, I also remember I made a post a while ago saying "if you support putting minors in heavy bondage, then unfollow," and I lost 5+ followers. To put it bluntly, that’s fucking disgusting. For those people to admit for putting minors in a borderline NSFW situation, since heavy bondage is quite literally something that only happens in the kink world and there’s nothing wholesome or cute about it, and for them to admit to doing it, is fucking weird. Though, I’m thankful those people got off my blog.

I have literally seen someone post art of c!Ranboo in heavy restraints and it didn’t even look remotely fun or consensual. It was pictured, or at least my friends and I interpreted it, that he was being tickle tortured and it was non-con. Though, it’s to be expected when the art is a dark-lit room with an intense tickle machine with heavy bondage, with a blindfold and what looks he is genuinely struggling. What made me even more uncomfortable is that an adult drew it. Another person wrote a fic of c!Ranboo in a lot of bondage with the sign “tickle toy” attached to him. That’s fucking weird. That’s practically something that never gets condoned in a strictly SFW sense. The sad part is that others and I have seen a lot of this happening around.

I was actually informed that an artist the other day on another MCYT tickle server drew literal non-con tickle art of Technoblade (/srs). I was revolted. The worst part is, some people didn't even have an issue with it and reacted to the image with heart emojis. For someone to draw non-con in a completely SFW server filled with a bunch of minors is creepy and weird. Non-con isn't a fun thing, and so many people, including me, have horrible experiences related to it; and for someone to turn it into a "heehee fun tickle" situation is fucked up. For someone to even fantasize non-con as a tickle fantasy just makes me feel sick. There are a few fics like this I've seen as well, unfortunately.

Related to non-con things, I've actually gotten a request before asking me to write Schlatt literally tickle torturing Tubbo, and multiple asks that are similar to that; even when on my request rules it stated not to ask for things related to that. Anything with the word "torture" in it is not consensual, especially in the context it was in. I’ve probably had to delete around 5–8 asks in total from my inbox that were related to non-con or torturous things, even after I already stated in my rules I do not write that stuff.

Another thing I've seen is romantic-esque things written with CCs and then the creator slaps a "/p" onto it, and all of a sudden it's okay? Ranboo has even stated in a stream that he is uncomfortable with his IRL self being written/drawn cuddling his friends, and I see so many fics and concepts of IRL Ranboo cuddling in some way (which I've spoken out about before, but again, no one listened).

Moving on, I've probably met the most toxic people in this community than any others I've been apart of- and I've been apart of a lot, I've been on Tumblr on different blogs since I was 11. For some reason, so many people love to guilt trip here (both my friends and I have noticed and experienced a bunch of people doing it in this community), and the people who get called out for it avoid apologizing like the plague. A person in this community made me and a few others literally scared to say no and scared to advocate for our boundaries, because of how much we got guilt tripped. And no, no one received an apology. But still, people DEFENDED this person, even though me and other people spoke out and explained how this person hurt us. That’s so fucking upsetting. I automatically don’t feel safe in a community where people willingly associate with a literal manipulator and someone who hurt probably over 10 people in total (/srs).

Another thing I've noticed is that so many people seem entitled to something. For example, when I got practically harassed by anons for my discomforts/triggers, basically trying to squeeze out reasoning. No one needs to explain their boundaries/discomforts to you, and this community doesn't understand that from what I've experienced; after being harassed by multiple people on anonymous multiple times, all of which were because of personal reasons I was not obligated to share. No one should be able to say that they got harassed by people on anon for their OWN BOUNDARIES. ON 3 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS AS WELL.

Long story short, I can’t help my triggers. Each of my triggers has developed from trauma I’ve gone through or a bad experience, and I shouldn’t even have to defend myself for my triggers/discomforts if people were respectful and weren’t so fucking entitled for an explanation. So many people in this community can’t mind their own business, and I unfortunately had to learn that the hard way.

I've also seen people project onto IRL CCs. Those are real and breathing people. I understand doing it for comfort, but, the CCs have a literal character that people can project onto, but for some reason, people have to push their things onto real life people. I’ve seen someone headcannon IRL Tommy as trans. That's like the same as your friend "headcannoning" you, a real person, as a different sexuality that isn't what you identify with, and one you may not even be OK with being seen as, and without knowing if you're comfortable with it or not. It's weird.

There are more points I could bring up and more specific things I could state, but I think you got the gist of why I'm leaving. I don't feel comfortable being a member in a community which a lot of its members condone in this stuff.

This is the reason why I'm only active in the MCYT tickle community on Discord, because my server, "Mcytickles," actually respects CCs boundaries and is truly an SFW server, and people are respectful towards each other. It's the only safe space I have in this community anymore, so please do not join it if you exhibit any of these things on this post.

No, I will not be coming back, so please do not try to convince me to stay. I’ve been wanting to leave for about a month now, so this isn’t some impulsive decision. I’ve been in the MCYT tickle community since April, and these problems have always existed but have just gotten worse and more extreme, so I’m leaving for my own mental health and to protect myself from further harm than what I’ve already received.

TLDR: I am leaving this blog and the MCYT tickle community on Tumblr due to the many boundary breaking and unacceptable behaviors I've seen be exhibited, and it makes me not feel safe and comfortable to be here anymore.

I want to thank my mutuals, though. You were all awesome and such kind and loving people, and I’m happy to be your guys’ mutual. I want to thank those who were always so nice to me and hyping up my work, and those who were respectful to everyone and advocated for boundaries. Thank you so much for everything, moots <3 (/gen)

[silvysartfulness]

I've gotten a whole bunch of new followers since I started making The Untamed content about a year ago, and I think it may be a good time to introduce myself and this blog to the newcomers.

Hi! ♥

I'm glad you find this chaotic mess entertaining enough to want to stick around!

That said, if you don't feel comfortable with who I am and/or what I post, just unfollow at any time, no explanations needed.

I'm Silvy, I'm a Fandom Old, 40+, and have been involved in online fandom since the late 90ies.

I'm neurodivergent, Aspie/ADHD and some spare change. I hyperfocus on things, and love to analyze fictional characters and tropes, especially things to do with the messiness and complexities of human nature and emotion. At the moment, as should be obvious, I live in the The Untamed universe, especially the Yi City corner. (You don't get emotions much messier and more complex than that!)

I have always been fascinated by ”villains” - the people who don't act like others do, who are different, and who hurt people, sometimes without meaning to. (Sometimes very much meaning to.)

I love redemption arcs. I've grown to realize there's a this recent phenomenon happening online where people claim certain fictional characters don't ”deserve” them. I think that's utter bullshit, and an extremely negative and destructive mindset to have. People should always have the chance to change and do better. Everyone makes mistakes. Some worse than others. But while no one ”deserves” forgiveness, unless it's freely given, everyone should have the chance to change, move on and be better.

I have always been fascinated by fiction as a medium to explore the messiness of humanity. Of how people hurt each other and heal each other and grow either way. The mess of who people end up loving, or hating, or - bittersweetly - both at once. In my opinion, that is the very purpose of fiction – the mirror held up to explore our own humanity, without suffering any of the negative consequences of reality. Yes, that includes the really problematic stuff. Yes, all the problematic stuff. Fiction is not reality.

I have 100% understanding for people who don't want to watch or read certain things – don't self-harm by engaging with content and creators that makes you angry and upset! I also have 0% patience with people demanding others conform to their particular standards of purity. It's everyone's responsibility to curate their own online experience. Haters will be blocked.

I'm queer (no, queer is not a slur.) Non-straight, asexual, married to another woman for 6 years now. I'd say a majority of my best friends are trans or otherwise non-cis. If you’re cis and find trans/non-binary/intersex/non-gender conforming etc people strange and frightening, by all means – stick around! I reblog quite a lot of trans-positive content. Maybe it'll offer insights! Any TERF-rhethoric will be blocked and shut down on sight, though. This is a safe space.

I'm Swedish. Socialism works. Just saying. 👍

These are simple facts – if any of the above is a dealbreaker, just click unfollow and everyone will probably be happier in the long run. :)

The less problematic stuff: I'm a professional illustrator, though currently on more or less permanent sick leave. Despite sometimes crippling social anxiety, I also ended up teaching art classes - Life Drawing and Concept Art - at the local university, and was often told I was one of their most popular and well-liked guest teachers. I'm self-taught as a writer, though I am a sponge when it comes to prose and language, so for any skills I have picked up over the years, I can only thank those whose works I have read throughout my life.

I like trying my hand at most creative crafts; painting, woodcarving, glasspainting, pewter pouring, looking to try out resins soon maybe..? I take tons upon tons of pictures. If you know me better, you have probably been exposed to my random ”Look at pretty thing X I saw today!” photo-assault. (It's a love language. ♥)

I used to study archaeology at university for years, before sidling over into a creative career as a museum-illustrator, and then onward to other projects from there. It's amazing what a 100.000+ year view on humanity will do for your sense of perspective! People are people. People have always been people. We are all one people - and diversity in culture, ethnicity and language is one of the most beautiful arts of our human race. Our differences and samenesses always to be equally celebrated. (Now if we could only get better at looking back and learn from previous civilizations' mistakes so we'd stop repeating them...)

I like cats. And betta fish. And purple roses (I used to collect purple rose cultivars, before I got too fatigued to be able to take care of my garden properly. Some still live! Rhapsody In Blue is a trooper, if you want a really hardy purple rose! They can even live in pots, if you don't have a garden.)

(See, I told you I could never resist a chance to share a photo...)

I am very, very forgetful. I got my neurodivergence diagnoses very late in life, and by then my brain was so burned out, it's permanently damaged. Fatigue, memory problems and concentration issues are things I always struggle with. If I ghost you, it's not because I'm upset or dislike you – I either missed your message, or forgot about it, or just didn’t know what to say. I'm sorry. I'm trying my best. ♥

I believe in kindness.

I try to be kind and understanding, and meet others with patience. It's taken me a lifetime fraught with generous amounts of trauma to learn to feel strong, comfortable and mostly at peace with myself, and I have very little interest in conflict or drama.

That's about it, Silvy all summed up.

Wishing all you a happy weekend!

[scaryorganmusic]

sorry this is really petty but like. this drama is so funny bc ultimately ppl are being accused of liking w*ncest just for like. being mildly dean critical. babes you know you can just block people for disagreeing with you. it doesn’t have to be that deep. in fact it’s literally the only way to survive fandom with more than a quarter of your brain cells left. anyway I’m a dean stan bc I imprinted on him as a child but when I see posts about how he sucks I either agree, disagree and ignore it (and sometimes just unfollow bc I’m curating the most fun online experience for myself as I should), or just say “that makes a lot of sense but it makes me sad so I’m just writing it out of my personal secret good spn”. It’s not that hard.

also like. fellas is not wanting to talk about incest on the blog you run for fun the same as supporting incest /s

also also. the cycle of destiel shippers being annoying and condescending to non destiel shippers -> non destiel shippers understandably deciding they dislike destiel shippers -> destiel shippers being offended for being called annoying is SO funny. tony you CHOSE to do that- like I ship destiel and even I think you’re annoying lmao

Okay I don't plan on talking about this too much anymore but I'll take this as an opportunity to address some things

It is wild how lightly people are treating very awful accusations here. I understand being suspiscious before following someone, because I have accidentally followed people who put that content on my dash (untagged too! because i do have it blacklisted) and it felt so gross. But people are just taking anything they don't like as "sus behavior"

Here are things I've seen people honestly mention that makes you suspicious: obviously being mainly a Sam blog, being "dean critical", being too intense about liking seasons 1-3, shipping sastiel (????), posting mainly about the brothers and not about Cas, criticizing an actor, being reblogged by one of them (even though we also hate when that happens! but it's not something we can control because i don't know every single one of them in order to block) and of course being associated with someone else that's sus.

And here's where I completely agree with what you said: people could just block others for all those things without throwing accusations around! You can just say "most of Sam blogs, or all Sam blogs who don't post destiel, are annoying as hell and i'll block them all" and that's fine! Or, better yet, don't say anything, you don't need to publically announce when you block someone.

Also yeah, a lot of people don't add banners on every post or post nonstop about how gross the wincest shit is because we prefer to avoid it and not be constantly thinking about it. I have the tag blacklisted but I don't do a deep investigation of OP of every post that makes into my dash, and that's kind of a wild expectation.

Quick note on the "dean critical" thing, I've never seen a fandom so weird about people critizing a character. The whole reason people started using the tag was exactly so we could still hang out with people like you, who love him and maybe don't wish to see negative analysis on him, so you could have a tag to blacklist instead of unfollowing! And although it's the bare minimum, I respect the honest attitude of "I know this happened in the show, but personally it's not an aspect I want to read/write meta about" instead of straight up denying stuff.

It is a wild cycle, with so many people (including myself) rejoining the fandom recently it's like you could see us going from "this is fun! i'm gonna follow a bunch of spn blogs" to "this is mildly annoying" to "i hate all of you, blocking spree". Not to be a hypocrite, I was onboard with destiel for most of my time in the fandom, I think I fell out of love with the ship partially because of my rewatch (and it shouldn't be that weird that rewatching something as an adult your perception on it changes!) and partially because of the fandom being so very Like That about it. And the whole fandom experience once you leave that ship is just very different. The bitterfication of the sam girl or whatever.

I do still have destiel mutuals who I appreciate very much, I don't even blacklist the tag because y'all have some amazing artists and I'm always up for fanart, even of things I don't ship (of course with the exception of gross ships).

Anyways yeah it is so infortunate that all of this happened but we move on, idk if anyone took the time to read all of this because it turned more into me venting than anything else but I also appreciate the support i’ve been getting from some of y’all

[lizacstuff]

Liza that 3rd fragman 👀 "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)

That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.  

Friends... we’re gonna go through some things.  That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer.  (I heart them)

This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up! 

I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut. 

Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?

You could be right!  I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.  

Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another.  Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me. 

@jan31​ Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!

I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.  

However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons. 

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.  

Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)

You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama. 

Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set.  But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy. 

As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them. 

The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs. 

In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem. 

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......

If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!

And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because  a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos  b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.  

Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on.  Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???

Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha

You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us!  As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!  

Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?

After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them. 

Memory loss

Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth,  he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing

Time jump

AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together

Dream

These actors playing different characters in a new story

I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases. 

Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying

The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.  

It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens.  And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape. 

Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.

I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode!  The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.

As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch. 

Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t.  The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.

Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!

Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch. 

Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!

Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!  

Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.

Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far?  Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.

Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...🤷🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.

Bye bitches!  I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that.  And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her. 

Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.

SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!  

That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.” 

I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well. 

Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?

This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see!  I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not!  Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time. 

Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.

Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another! 

[lucidpantone]

Just saying . Just because Nora chooses to project herself as the well made up prim and propah , everyone goes gaga and takes the bait .I have zero issues with each having their own way of feeling beautiful and valid but I definitely have an issue with majority treating her differently than the other girls. Lilith is literally an angel who also composes her own music on piano but nobody goes about calling her 'gorgeous' simply because she doesn't do the fake insta stuff . Of late Nora 's post are bordering on thirst posts lmao the fake in it just makes me laugh. Literally women need to change their definition of gorgeous .

Beautiful =\= glamor I said what I said.

I am going to give you a word of advice anon and I really think you should take it into the functioning world. Don’t ever compare the accolades, appearances and motivations of women for the goal of painting one in a negative light and not the other. When you do that you weaponize the individuality and choices that each woman makes and you open the door for men to do the same and use those women’s choices against them. For example lets say you have two women vying for the same promotion. And candidate 1 due to just general personality traits likes to go out with her male colleagues and watches sports with them and is a fan of the same football team as the lads and candidate 2 occasionally goes out with the colleagues doesnt stay long because they arent big drinkers and isnt a sports fan. The actions of these two women should not be compared based on their personal likes and dislikes. One should not be more appealing for a promotion(or a friendship) based on her personal appeal towards a group of people (especially males but other women apply here too). Women do not function in this world to appeal to anyone. Men or women/ nb people. The peanut gallery shouldn’t feel entitled to influencing your decision making by calling certain decisions fake or lacking authenticity. If Nora wants to only post glam shots of herself with a bunch of filters or get some botox to wipe away lines thats her prerogative.

I am not saying you cant reenforce your opinion and say that you would love her any other way with or without the botox because that statement isn’t seeking to attack a decision she has chosen to take that statement is stating no matter what decision she makes you ride with her. Same with what if Lilith tomorrow starts posting thirst pictures or develops an interest in full coverage make up or gets hair extensions/lashes and start using filters. Has she now become some other person in your eyes that you think she is all of sudden fake just because she developed an interest? Also if Nora wanted to post only thirst post why you so pressed about it? Unfollow her then. Its her gram and its her body and if i was that cute I would post thirst post too because those post are for her not you. She does it because she likes those pictures of herself and she probably thinks others will like them too. So whats the problem? Get your head out of the sand anon or the patriarchy might incept it.

[corancoranthemagicalman]

‘twas tagged by the beloved mutual @kamwashere for a mutual tag game! 💕

why did you choose your url?

I was on the Voltron Amino and ended up doing an art collab. Most of the others were on Tumblr, and since I didn’t have one I just created one to be tagged in the collab. I RP’d Coran all the time and had basically been going by that name as I do now on occasion. Coran was my man. @/corancoranthegorgeousman was taken (by a rocking blogger who I don’t think is a mutual so I shan’t at) and so I think it was @robbingroses (a wonderful person and artist) who actually made the suggestion that stuck.

any side-blogs?

/sweats

...None that I use.

As mentioned before, used to be heavy into RP’ing whilst I was in the Voltron fandom, so I’ve got a bunch in relation to that. I also have two URLs that I really like saved, but I could never switch from being the magical man.

how long have you been on Tumblr?

Early 2018? Or something? That’s how long I’ve had my own account. Been stalking Tumblr since at least 2012.

do you have a queue tag?

I do despite not knowing how they work! The tag is ‘cqueue’, a play on words of my AO3 username CBlue. 

why did you start your blog in the first place?

As I’ve already lore dropped (whoops), I did it because of an art collab! Made sense to do it since I was already snooping all over the platform, and then just slowly migrated from the Amino based community to here. Now I’m stuck in Turbo Hell.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Currently? Because it’s a recent art and I’m trying to convince myself I’m an artist. I’m going to be changing it soon though, haha.

why did you choose your header?

Because I made a funny and found it funny. Also I listen to Radio Company too much so I have to dunk on myself.

what’s your post with the most notes?

I don’t... know? I’ve lost the site that configures that for me :(( I get like five notes on average for original posts so let’s just say I’m very popular amongst my peers ✌️

how many people do you follow?

okay to be fair most of them are dead as I literally was scrolling through them this morning. But I won’t say. 

have you ever made a shitpost?

all day e’ry day

how often do you use Tumblr?

I used to be normal. Then who the hell knows went on a hunting trip and the finale happened and now I’m here daily. I get my global news through tumblr memes, though. Like the morning paper.

did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?

I mean yes and no? I’ve butted heads and narrowly avoided getting into heated back and forths, but I think I back off before it escalates into arguments or fights. I don’t get involved in that stuff anymore. Like, if people just get too negative for me or if they’re aggressive to me, I unfollow and block. I don’t have time to stress over fighting with someone in a space where I come to relax and have fun. I’ve got enough in my real world life with my real world consequences without debating on whether or not I should tag that post with John Winchester only for you to also tag it with John Winchester when you rebloggeed it from me. This is my good times space, so I don’t want to taint that with arguing and fighting.

That being said, maybe this just means I’m the loser in fights because I refuse to fight.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

I think it’s terrible. I love informative posts. I love spreading information about important causes and even just different cultural things. But I cannot stand the anxiety-inducing pressure to reblog every little burning fire and asshole-CEO exposure or else I’m a terrible person. As mentioned before, I come here to relax. I know I said I get my global news through Tumblr memes, but I also try to stay strictly to the fandom side of blogging. Unless it’s a ‘cause that moves me enough to overlook the “you need to reblog this”, I hate facilitating that culture that I know causes people stress and anxiety.

do you like tag games?

Yeah! But I always feel bad because I’m terrible at tagging other people? Like what is a mutual? Is it a spiritual mutual? We follow each other but how active are we in each other’s notifs? Do they recognize my name like I recognize theirs?

So I just crumble and die.

do you like ask games?

Yeah I do! I’ve got a few asks from ask games still burning in my inbox. They’re only so late because I lost my computer for a bit like two months back when I kind of had the free time to answer them. Now the answers are slowly getting drafted so I can post them an awkward amount of time later and I hate it lol

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

idk I think that @kamwashere blog might be pretty famous. Also again I wish I just... had an easier to view list of who my mutuals are? Not for this question but in general.

Mutuals sound off please I love you <3

do you have a crush on a mutual?

Hell yes ;)

[No I don’t lol. But I crush on mutuals in the sense of “please be my friend.” So friend-crush. I guess. But then the ones I actually actively think of as mutuals are my friends.]

Again, we’re supposed to tag mutuals. Here’s a few who I know are my mutuals, but no pressure to partake!!

@morai-the-swann-king @jitter-bugss @damejudyhench @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie 🌺

[ex-terfs]

I’m curious about how you were introduced to trans exclusionary ideology, and when you realized how toxic it truly is. I’m genuinely curious.

Hello! Sorry for the hiatus.So this is my story & long rant post.I've been among TERFs/Radfems (AKA the Conservative side of "feminism") since 2015. In mid-2016 — with the dangers of having Trump as President — I started getting critical of everything going on in the community, deleted older posts, & stopped reblogging "trans-critical" stuff. In 2017 — after seeing TERFs celebrating that the 'Everyday Feminism' site was facing a financial crisis & after paying more attention at what our "enemies" were trying to say — I unfollowed all the bullies, & eventually started to despise seeing "trans-critical" stuff. Their hatred towards the "big scary Libfems" is what made me rethink my priorities.

Many parts of their ideology had peculiarly attracted my attention back in 2015. As a GNC person who celebrates gender nonconformity, their gender abolition theories seemed very interesting (& I later found out how bigoted they are towards GNC men & GNC people with different identities/pronouns). When I was a sex-repulsed person, their porn-critical & sex-negative theories also seemed very interesting to me (I later found out how bigoted they are towards sex-repulsed people — upholding heteronormativity & saying things like "Haha, nobody loves you", "If you're a man/bisexual/lesbian, you must perform oral sex on your gf"; but still, I'm NO longer in the sex-negative/SWERF community). People sending them death threats was also one of the reasons why I had joined their movement.

It always begins like this. Step 1: you begin exploring anti-kink/anti-porn stuff; Step 2: you begin exploring anti-"MOGAI" stuff; Final step: you turn into a transphobe. That's how I got into this mess.

Second-wave theories originally had a critical focus on the social construction of gender & sexuality, monogamy, submission/masochism, natalism, the family structure, the fear of nonconformity, emotional/economic dependency, religion, & violence.As a feminist, yeah, I still agree with most of these analyses. I love reading academic books. But there was something different about terf/radfem tumblr. & this is all I've noticed over the years.

TERFs treat their word like holy truth.

TERFs use Right-wing "sources" to back up their transphobic & sex-negative arguments (& often associate themselves with conservative groups).

TERFs claim that all men are "biologically/physically the same".

TERFs contradict themselves all the time: claim that sex-repulsed AroAces are "usual straights", mock people who just want to remain single, & at the same time still say that if you don't want to have sex with men, then "you're a lesbian"; they say that people don't owe you sex, & at the same time say it's "not okay" for men to sexually reject a woman for "bad reasons".

TERFs claim that lesbians who are anti-TERF or who don't believe in the "born-this-way" theory are "fake lesbians".

TERFs are against the idea of removing your secondary sexual characteristics; & if an AMAB person doesn't like their "secondary sexual characteristics", then they must be a "delusional fetishist" (srsly I identify as a woman, but I still wish I could remove my uterus & have a breast reduction surgery; & it's not for sexist reasons! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs claim that men can't be raped/abused by women (not all TERFs believe this, but I still see them quietly following the ones who do).

TERFs have definitely never read a book with a different perspective/purpose, yet they will act like total experts on any subject (TERFs act like they're experts on Postmodernism & Queer Theory, but they have no idea what these theories are actually about. These theories are both very complex & don't have only one definition! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs will assume you're a trans woman if you don't disclose you're actually AFAB (& they could still have doubts).

TERFs are very manipulative & use brainwashing tactics. If you're AFAB & anti-TERF, they will say it's because of your "internalized misogyny" & will try to guilt-trip you. Because how dare someone has a different opinion! If you're AFAB & proudly calls yourself 'genderfluid' or 'non-binary', TERFs will get offended.

TERFs claim that asexuality only exists "because of the prevalence of porn" (Aces & sex-repulsed people would still be here even if porn didn't exist! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs claim that men who call themselves 'feminist' are "all predators".

TERFs would rather include transphobic men in their spaces than "those evil libfems" (those women are enemies).

TERFs claim that radical feminism is the "only true feminism", & that all second-wave feminists were "radfems".

TERFs claim that GNC men are "fetishizing" femininity (but according to TERF logic, masculine men are not fetishizing masculinity).

TERFs are extremely bigoted towards sex workers, polyamorous people, people who don't want commitment, people who are sexually experimenting or who are promiscuous (which is also one of the reasons why I left the sex-negative community; their views on sex/lust/love are similar to the Christian conservative perspective).

I can definitely assure you I still very well remember most of their URLs & blog content. There are many TERFs who hide behind aesthetic blogs, & use subtle TERF language & comforting rhetoric — which you might not even notice if you don't know much about their specific type of language & tactics (e.g. complaining about the "neoliberal postmodern identities" & about people "erasing females"). This type of TERF also may follow a bunch of (trans-inclusive) anti-'MOGAI' & anti-kink blogs. If you're trans-inclusive & TERFs follow you, it's likely because your blog content doesn't make them uncomfortable.

Their blatant transphobia is absurd & paranoiac, & they don't hide it. Anyone who disagrees with them gets called a "handmaiden", "lesbophobe", "male", "genderist", "liberal", "libfem", "special snowflake" (I no longer consider myself a radical leftist, but I don't consider myself a centrist either). TERFs call trans women as a group "fetishists", "delusional", "mentally ill", "sociopaths", "narcissists", "pedophiles", "necrophiles", "incels", "genderfucks" + slurs like "tr*nny", "troon", "tr0n", "transes". They say that the trans movement is "coercing children to transition" & "forcing lesbians to have sex with penis". It's pure fear-mongering. Their views on trans men are also contradictory — there are times they claim that trans men are "straight girls who are trans just bc they read fanfiction & watch gay porn", & there are times they claim that trans men are "brainwashed butch lesbians" (Pick a side!).

I live in a very religious Latin American country. The majority of the population here is not educated on gender/sexuality issues. I got the chance of educating myself better only after I've learned English. And then some terfs had the gall to say "academic fields such as Gender & LGBT Studies & philosophy are oppressive & pretentious". In a country like mine with a dark history of military dictatorships, censorship & anti-intellectualism, being leftist means protecting the social sciences in education & freedom of the press.

So yes, I left the terf community bc unlike them, I think for myself & I hate bullying (i was in fact heavily bullied for years in school, & only bullying victims know how it truly feels like). My terf blog is now inactive; I had 1000+ followers. I'm a very quiet person irl & online; I was never vocal about my real opinions bc I don't like getting into heated discussions & I didn't want to be featured on that gross radfem-gossip blog.I was very transphobic back then. & now it's quite possible terfs will say to me "You were never one of us". I followed & liked their blogs, just like they followed mine. I was loyal & obedient. Now not anymore.

[nikatyler]

I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying already? Well, no, but actually, yes. I kinda wish we had less time because this way, I’m going to waste so much of it procrastinating.

But maybe now that I’ve told you, I’ll decide to not procrastinate so that you can be proud of me or something. Maybe I’ll show that I am in fact capable of character development. Idk.

Yeah, I’m losing my mind. Just a little bit.

By the way, anyone else feels dead inside after watching the new Game of Thrones episode? You know, in the first part, I literally forgot what I was watching because everyone was so happy and celebrating and all that and then I got a reminder. This show is going to be the death of me.

desira-sims replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

I feel ya on social media. I recently got rid of a mobile game and the associated fb pages I was in. I’m no longer constantly checking my phone for it. It’s been nice taking a break from that. Focus on school, since that’s the most important thing. Come find us when you need a breather. ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

Yes, social media are basically time-eaters who steal the time which could be spend on writing or simming. Recently I've unsubscribed from several Instagram pages dedicated to memes as they my flooded dash and I spent too much time on them. Last two days I've played TS3 world adventures on my laptop without internet connection and it was great

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Before we get to the replies, I want to quickly address something. I’m...”

And I barely paid attention to tumblr as well recently... Well the weather is so great that it would be a crime to spend time onlineXD

Ooh boy, if I was able to get rid of all the memes pages I follow, I’d have so much free time on my hands. But also, I mean...memes.

As for social media, I wish I could deactivate my Facebook account. I really wish. But sadly, all the people I know irl are there. I have to stay there to keep in touch with them. We still share a lot of school stuff there, I’d be lost without it. But those are the only reasons I’m there, I never post on it anymore. I actually deleted most of my photos and old status updates and unfollowed most pages.

I’m going to repeat myself here but I’m so glad I got rid of Twitter. I loved it there, but at the same time, it fueled my negativity. Even when I found and muted or straight up unfollowed the biggest sources of it, I wasn’t happy. So I just stepped into the daylight and let it go and it was the best decision I could make. Even though now tumblr will probably have to deal with my random thoughts. I need to find a special tag for that. Not just “nonsims” or “saviorhide”. Maybe “simmeronnie is losing it again”.

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Isla Paradiso didn’t disappoint at all. It was everything I’ve ever...”

Skyporn 24/7 sounds like a radio station

Lmao you’re not wrong. Or it could be something like a stream where they only record videos of really really gorgeous sky. I’d watch that. Seriously, shut up and take my money. I could stare at pretty sky all day.

desira-sims replied to your post “List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10...”

I recently went back and started this legacy. (Just got to the Gen 5 switch). I think Rachel is absolutely adorable.

Ahh, no way! I hope you’re having fun even though it’s a total mess :D I have to agree though, I love Rachel, she’s awesome.

Watch out, tiny gen 4 rant coming. When I have nothing else to do and I feel inspired, I rewrite gen 4 because I love these characters and they deserve a way better story. I consider the stories they got in the legacy the first drafts/starting point/base or something like that. So in some way, most of this stays in the “new canon”, it’s just thought through better or changed a little bit.

Okay, that wasn’t really a rant but seriously, stop me whenever I seem like I’m about to start rambling about gen 4.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10...”

Number 4 - high five, Zoey, same with me!XD

5 actually, too

Ah, yes, same. Number 4...oh god. Been there, sort of. Just because I’m crushing on a person doesn’t mean I imagine being with them in bed all the freaking time. *looks at a friend who loves to imply that...when I’m actually a small innocent child who only knows woohoo from the sims and I’m not ashamed to admit it*

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Regan: “Court! Finally! How was the flight?” Courtney: “Not bad. I...”

Why is her face so funny to me ��

Well, it is kinda funny :D

philodendronandfoxes replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Anon needs to chill.

desira-sims replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Don't let them get to you. Something I have learned as I've grown older: Hobbies come and go. One minute you'll find enjoyment in something and the next it doesn't hold the same appeal. Some times you'll come back to that hobby and some times you never pick it up again. Taking a break is something everyone needs. They even tell new parents to take a little "me time" so that they don't get overwhelmed. Taking a moment to collect yourself is understandable.

108sims replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Taking breaks from tumblr is good for your sanity. I had to last month for the sake of my mental health I got stressed out falling behind here and dealing with job stuff. Just like for you with school, job takes priority over my blog. I’ve taken so many breaks, honestly it’s fun to enjoy other hobbies and do other things.

dandylion240 replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

RL should always take priority. Taking breaks and doing other things is healthy and good. Don't let this anon get to you or make you feel guilty.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “So you’ve made posts in the past about how you’re lonely or feel alone...”

Anon is strange - as if tumblr was the only life you've got and you have to stay here whenever you like it or not. Why read between the lines and find unexisting stuff there like you don't care about your followers? It comes without saying that a person needs breaks from the tumblr every now and then

But who knows probably the anon wanted only to provoke you to start our "favorite" drama. In this case they do need to find a life for themselves

Btw too - feeling lonely on tumblr also can be a reason for a hiatus, so anon makes no sense

So I kinda didn’t want to address this anymore because I feel like I’ve said everything in my lengthy answer to that ask but I just wanna say thank you for writing all of this. I didn’t feel bad when I got this, the anon didn’t change my opinion, I still believe everyone has the right to take a break, leave tumblr behind for a bit and not feel sorry about it. Take that me time and come back better than ever (or not if you don’t feel like, that’s fine too)! I was still worried about posting this answer though. So thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one who feels this way!

dandylion240 replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

Congratulations and have fun with the last day! It'll be bittersweet knowing this may be the last time you'll all be together but it's exciting too because it marks a beginning of something new. So happy for you!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

Congratulations and welcome to the "adult" life! Let this day be one of the brightest moments in your memory!

Now I'm feeling nostalgic, I'll go and look through my graduation album

108sims replied to your post “April 30, 2019: Dear Diary, I believe I’m a good person. You know, I...”

That sounds like a really fun way to spend your last day! At my school at least we had a Senior day where there were a bunch of games and activities. Good luck on your exams, and I hope you enjoy your last day and everything that is to come!

It was very fun and everyone looked so good in their costumes! One of my classmates wore this 20s-like dress and oooh boy. She was gorgeous. Just...leaving on that day was really bittersweet. Part of me was like “yas, we’re done with this place!” but the other part of me already missed it. And yeah, our teacher didn’t forget to remind us that all of us might never meet again. There are reunions, it’s a tradition, but there’s always someone who can’t come.

Okay, moving on or else I’ll start crying, and I’ve already cried a lot today. Looking at you, GoT episode 4.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Regan: “You made it! Nice. I’ve heard you almost threw up on the...”

i'm laughing at the two couples in the background, both flirting during this conversation

Oh god I didn’t realize how funny that looks :D I didn’t want them to just stand there haha.

dandylion240 replied to your photo “In Character Judgement Call: Caleb Protect this soft boy. RULES: You...”

I Caleb the most from gen 4

I know this is just missing a word and I shouldn’t laugh but it comes off kinda funny. Still, thank you!

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Felix: “You look perfect. No, no, you are perfect. Some girls are...”

Despite his ability to burp at inappropriate times Felix can say the sweetest things

No sweeter words have ever been spoken about my boy

Also no truer words have ever been spoken about my boy

108sims replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

Good luck!

nineyellowgirl replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

keeping fingers crossed :D

desira-sims replied to your post “I’m waiting for my exam (still have like 2 hours) and I’m bored. I...”

Good luck on you exam!

Thank you guys! The results should come on May 15th. Wish it was that day already. I think I did well, but I won’t be calm until I actually see it.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “One day, I’ll have a nice tiny mods folder again. Today is not that...”

The TS4 community needs to come up with a Compressorizer like TS2 and TS3 has tbh

Yeah that would be nice. TS4 needs a lot of things in general though, to be fair.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Hmm...”

Hm the thing I do plan something with berries and I need a spouse for my founder which I don't want to create myself... Sooo... Yeah, I could use a sim ��

flowerhoneysims replied to your post “Hmm...”

@simmeronnie But it‘s another kind of pink ☺️

Alright guys, I have an idea. Shoot me a message and we can talk about it! I’m down for this. Here’s just a brief description of everyone I can offer (in case someone else would like a sim and would like to know what they’re signing up for), we can talk more in depth in the messages later. I have one mean pink girl who loves robots, then this one that I’ve shown (she doesn’t have too much personality yet, but she hates her other sister and loves videogames), an agender person with pink skin, white hair and white eyes (loves animals and is the total opposite of their mean twinsister - and yet they’re still best friends somehow) and one pink boy with white eyes who just aged up into a child so I have no idea what he’s going to be like yet. I just remember he got the No Sense of Humor trait.

Can I have a wish though? If I send you one of these sims, would you please share with me the sim they end up with? I would love for them to get together in my game as well.

Side note, can you already tell my bpr is going to be a bigger mess than all my other legacies combined?

lyrea replied to your photoset “Okay, clearly he didn’t ruin all the traditions. Crisis averted.”

^_^ That is an impressive cake they got.

Oh, it is! I’m not sure now, but it might be the one that came with Monte Vista?

[unending-happiness]

I'm fairly new to this fandom. There has been so much drama going on, and it kind of worries me that a fandom is so divided. In the past, has the drama ever gotten so bad that certain blogs have been targeted? I've been a part of some fandoms where that has happened.

Hi Nonnie! Welcome! I’m guessing when you say “fandom” that you mean Shadowhunters in general and not just Malec fans, but I’m not sure. Full disclosure, I like to be honest and use lots of words, so lotsa words coming at ya. The truth is that there is no easy answer to this question. I’ll tell you what I know about fandom and drama from my own experience. I’ve been here about a year. I’ll answer this in three parts. (right?! I’m ridiculous)

First: Drama

*sighs* There is ALWAYS drama. Drama Here. Drama In other fandoms. (Which it sounds like you know well) Drama in real life. I know it varies and I have heard some say that SH is way drama heavy while others have said that other fandoms were equal to or worse. Drama happens. People tend to be opinionated. A lot of the time they put stuff out there without thinking of what others will feel about it. People often lack empathy, especially online. My advice on drama both on Tumblr and in life and what I tell my children is this:

You do NOT have to participate in drama. You don’t have to take the bait of someone talking about your favorite character, ship or actor. You don’t have to answer that vile anon. You don’t have to even see any of it. You can unfollow, block, blacklist, whatever it is that you need to do to avoid drama if you so desire. You do not have to give weight and power to negativity. You don’t have to give it oxygen or space. 

That being said, drama and discourse are two different things. I find that I enjoy respectable, well thought out discourse, and so I follow some blogs who are opinionated and I like reading their opinions on how the show could have done some things better, or their character metas. It’s no surprise that a lot of these blogs are writers. Writers, by-in-large, are people who think critically and are careful and measured with their words, because they know the weight and power words can have. Some people don’t like discourse at all, which is fine, so I try to tag mine so it can be avoided if people don’t want to see it. I find that even if I’m not participating in the latest heated argument, I am generally curious and at least want to know why people are carrying on. So I will look things up and see what they are saying. 

For example - yesterday I could see a few people on my dash talking Dom and his Malec comments (intelligently and calmly), but I didn’t know what it was really about, so I wanted read Dom’s interview quotes again. So, (as usually is the case) I knew something was going on, but I saw no real hate or drama on my dash. I searched Dom’s tag looking for his original interview to see what his actual words were. And……I got exactly 4 disgusting posts in before I hit the close button, retreated back to my turtle shell and just messaged a sweet friend asking if she had the interview. So I do SEE it. I know it’s there, but as far as drama on my dash there is pretty much zero. Discourse, about 10%, because I enjoy a good discussion. And what I see I go looking for. Sometimes my curiousity makes my life difficult. But that was my CHOICE to go looking. It’s largely about choices. I choose to follow amazing, kind, sweet, artistic, talented, joyful, loving people. Many of those have followed me back. And my fandom experience is wonderful because of it.

Second: Targeting

I know much less about this than I do about fandom drama. The very definition of targeting is 

a person, object, or place selected as the aim of an attack.

I suppose, based on that definition that, yes, I guess I have in fact seen people targeted in this fandom. Humans can be absolutely terrible and so full of hate. And the SH isn’t in a protective bubble. So, while I have never felt targeted myself, but I have seen my mutuals experience this. Others have indeed selected them to be on the receiving end of their hateful words. Now, what I have seen wasn’t a whole bunch of people attacking one person. It was just one or two attacking one or two. But even that has been very uncommon in my experience. And I don’t know if that is just because of the people I follow or if that is the case with the fandom as a whole. I tend to believe it’s the latter, only because I follow such a wide range of SH blogs with many different personalities, and still don’t see it.

In general the correlation I notice is that the more opinionated you are as a blog and the more discourse you put out, the more opinions you get back. These opinions are frequently in the form of anon asks. The larger blogs also get more nastiness sent their way, because they have a larger audience. I feel like all of this is to be expected.

I’ve had friends delete hateful asks without answering and I’ve had some answer them eloquently and with much more tact and respect than the person doing the attacking deserved. I’ve even known a few who have had turned anon asks off because off temporarily because people were saying terrible things. It all varies based on what the person running the blog can and chooses to do. I’ve followed blogs who get hate spewed their way because they love and defend a certain character, so “fans” of the other character will say nasty things. But, in all of these cases, the hate of a few is largely overpowered by the love of many. All of these people have wonderful friends and people who defend them, support them, and help them. And it is largely diffused because of how they choose to respond. 

Have I seen people attack others? Yes. There are some who will attack others simply because they can. They don’t even need a reason. And is there ever a valid reason for hate anyway? No. Definitely not. And people love the “my thing is better than your thing” drama. Or “your thing is problematic” drama. Do I have strong opinions about my ship? Sure. But I don’t need to hurl them at every person who believes differently. It isn’t necessary or productive. I know nobody could change my mind about my ship, so why would I try to change the opinion of others? Why would I want to?

I personally, have not seen any extreme cases of targeting. Anytime I’ve seen someone get hate, I’ve also seen many come to their defense, and it’s made me proud to be in this fandom. I have heard about extreme targeting happening with blogs who ship a certain less popular ship,  but, I also follow blogs who ship this ship and they seem to have lovely friends and a great support system and I haven’t seen them be attacked. I don’t have much personal experience with this, so it’s hard to answer, but it is my experience that you tend to get back what you put out. If you are confrontational and attack others, then yes, you will get attacked. If you like discourse, you will get discourse. If you wanna just sit on a fluffy marshmallow all day and die of fluff and feels, then you will die of sugary sweetness. I prefer Death by Daddario and Mauled by Malec and I get it daily. It’s fantastic!

THIRD: Tips for a positive fandom experience

This is what I do to make my fandom experience positive. I like kind people. They are my jam. I want nice asks, Tumblr hugs, endless beautiful photos of Matt in my inbox, art and fics from sweet and talented people, all the yelling about Malec greatness, people who support each other, intelligent discussion, empathetic humans.

Full disclosure: I get emotional. I have opinions. I am a serious Malec shipper. I’m on the board of the Alec/Matt Protection Squad. I speak fluent sarcasm. And because of this I’ve gotten the occasionally salty anon. Salt returned. Fair enough. I do make mistakes and I am sure I’ve upset someone before. I also apply this same standard to my friends. I know they aren’t going to be perfect.I know they will have bad days and have a raw emotional response occasionally. They are human and I expect this. Fandom has been a learning curve. But, I try really really hard to be positive and kind. Some hopefully helpful tips.

-Don’t follow just anyone. If I think I might want to follow them, I’ll scroll pretty far down on their blog to see what they post/reblog. If I see hate or negativity, then I’m out of there. I give it 2 posts. If I see even 2 in 50, then I don’t want to be there.

-It’s ok to unfollow anyone. If I do follow someone and I see them posting things hating on other people,  ships, actors, whatever it may be. (not discussions, just words meant to hurt people) then I usually give it about 3 times, and I unfollow. No big deal. I don’t want to see it so I don’t see it. I don’t care if it’s a large blog or a small one or who the person is. It isn’t personal. And NO it is not my responsibility to try and correct the bad behavior of every person who ships the same couple I do. I don’t like when people say that you have a responsibilty to do that. You don’t. I’ll do my part by spreading positivity and light.

-Block anyone who makes you feel unsafe. If I see a person attacking someone on a post or their blog, whatever it may be, I immediately block them as a preventative measure.

-Blacklist anyone/anything. There are times within the fandom that discourse gets to even me,especially if it’s one of the characters I love, So for instance, if a character I love is being heavily criticized after an episode, I will just blacklist either the people saying the things or the relevant tag for a bit. Tumblr savior is your friend. Use it. 

-Keep scrolling. My first reaction to anything that pisses me off or upsets me is to keep scrolling. I don’t need to chime in. I don’t need to start an argument. That person can put whatever they want on their blog and so I Alec level eye roll that shit and move on with my day.

-Talk to trusted friends. If a post just eats at me and I need to discuss it, then i’ll send it to a friend I love and trust. We will discuss it, go back and forth on it, she will talk me down from the “but I really want to set this person straight ledge” and we move on with our days. (my poor bestie is an angel). Amazing friends are so helpful in fandom.

-Think. Before I reblog ANYTHING, I try to think of how it will make my followers feel. If they ship a certain ship or like a certain character, and I post this how will they feel about it. If I think it’ll make someone feel upset or alienated, I scroll on by. If I like and appreciate the humor, sarcasm, sentiment, but I’m a little torn about reblogging it and not sure how people will take it, then I’ll just like it and not reblog.

-Extra think. Same but extra gets applied to posting something of my own. I think about every way that anyone can take it or be hurt by it. And I also think of how I’ll respond if someone reacts badly. I think about my wording, people of other ships, etc. This is original content you are putting out into the world that will get reblogged. You can never get rid of it once it’s out there. Every. Single. Time. that I have said “this will probably get me a salty anon” it has. Every time. I know before I even put something out there what it will most likely bring back. In those cases I have felt that me expressing my opinion on that matter was worth the salty anons. And I’ve never regretted one. I tend to be very sarcastic and opinionated in my tags, because most likely the only people seeing those are my followers and if people follow me they know how I am and they also know where the unfollow button is, so that’s more of a safe space. But, I have gotten anons who specifically referenced my salty tags. 

-Respond carefully. Speaking of salty anons.(I’ve never gotten hate, thankfully) Yeah, you could think of it as this person is coming to your door and being confrontational about what you put on your own damn blog and they are hiding behind anonymity to boot, so really I should be able to say whatever I want back. Right?! No. I push that feeling down and  I respond very carefully. I consider their opinion and their pov. I always tell them I have done as much. I stand by my original opinion, which is easy because I’ve thought it through before I posted, and I am understanding, and tell them that it’s ok if they disagree with me. I do this especially if I think they are trying to bait me. Thanks but no thanks. I’m not about that. I am so extra about this that I have my beta bestie read through a lot of my responses to anons before I post them. Just to be sure I’m not missing anything and I’m giving off the sentiment I want to give off. This formula is pretty good because I’ve never gotten a “level-up” on angry from an anon yet. (knock on wood) I think most often they really just want you to know they were irritated and that you upset them. It’s cool. Message received.

-Tag spoilers and discourse. Maybe not always, but I try really hard. This helps so much. People may follow you but not be able to stand discourse.

-Flood negative with positive. If someone is being mean to someone I follow I block the meanie, and then I yell nice things at the person being attacked. I also send them a sweet ask. I often will also send them a message with support. Light drives out dark. Period. I don’t address the hateful person directly. I do this with the cast and their s/o as well when they get hate. I just send them nice things. It’s easy. Don’t feed the trolls. It only makes them bigger and more angry.

-Spread love. If you love someone’s fic–tell them. If you love someone’s art–tell them.  Reblog the shit out of that with nice tags. If someone’s tags make you happy–tell them. If you think someone is sweet–tell them. Anything nice that goes through your brain. SAY IT LOUD. I cannot stress this enough. If you are shy, just do it on anon. People appreciate that. Love wins, always. 

-Surround yourself with good people. This is the most important thing for a good fandom experience. I have some of the very best friends I’ve ever had in my life because of this fandom. They are amazing people. Some of us are very different and I don’t always agree with them, but I do agree with their methods, their kindness and generosity, with their love and support.

SO, anon. I’m sure you are probably like, wtf is this?! I never asked for a damn novel, crazy!!! And so I’m sorry for this stupid long response. But, this isn’t an easy answer. And I can’t tell you about darkness without telling you how to drive it away. This is all stuff that people around me helped me do when I first started my blog and it’s been such a help. 

I hope this helps and please feel free to send me any more questions you have. Also, I would be more than happy to rec you some positive and kind blogs, if you wish. I follow a lot of Malec, and I’m not sure if you are a Malec fan or not, so I’m not doing that now. But if you tell me what kind of blogs might interest you, I would be happy to rec some! Thanks for asking. I hope you have a beautiful day. I hope your experience in this fandom is fun and wonderful and you don’t get dragged down by the bad side. The good side is so so so so great. Totally worth navigating the shit storms imo. Welcome. I LOVE THIS FANDOM.

:)

[imnoexpertblog]

Social Media Addiction

7/5/18

I don’t know why I care so much what people think of my Instagram feed. I don’t know why I will post a picture and then check my notifications every minute on the minute until I either have something else to do or I see the Likes tapering off. I don’t know why the number of reactions to my Facebook posts is such a big deal. I don’t know why I scroll things I already saw all day.

I know I’m not alone in this. I know a lot of people suffer from this. I know this is a real thing.  On one hand, I know I don’t need social media. On the other hand, I know I am on it too much. I know it’s not healthy.

I will say I have let go of caring what other people think a bit in the last year or so. This seems contradictory because I started modeling over a year ago. Wouldn’t you think that would drive my obsession crazier? I think it is giving me the confidence I’ve been missing and has made me more secure. Being in a happy and healthy relationship has also mellowed me out a little. I post about Baby a lot, don’t get me wrong , but it’s different now. It doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t post about me much. I used to beg my ex to post things about me. It made me feel stupid that I would post about him so much and that he never did. I think I realized it was because I was trying to portray that we were happier than we actually were and that he just didn’t care. Now, I don’t feel like I have to trick myself or anyone else into thinking I am happy. It used to bother me that my ex wouldn’t post about me because I also wasn’t getting what I needed in real life, either. Now, I get everything I need in person. It changed the way I think about the entire “posting about each other” thing. I will probably always do it but now I don’t need it done for me.

That being said, I still feel like I have something to prove. Like I have to impress people who follow me online. I see pictures of people traveling, wearing extravagant things, doing crazy or fun stuff, etc. It’s as if they are all reporting back to everyone else to remind us what to be jealous over. It’s like life has become a competition. I wouldn’t say I have anything upscale or fancy to be jealous of. I am 22 and I have a fiancé, a soon-to-be-step-son, a degree, a career, and a house. I don’t travel at all, own expensive things, or have a ton of money. I think seeing what others have makes it harder to be thankful for what we have, in a way. I can acknowledge all of this and yet, I still feel obligated to compete with the modern world. I feel like this all might be because of how I was expected to fail from a young age, but also expected not to. I had to prove I wouldn’t amount to nothing to those who thought I might, and I had to live up to the high expectations of my family. I’d say I did both pretty well, and posting about it all has been a way to express pride. Maybe? Maybe not? Either way, worrying about it has exhausted me. I think I am this concerned about my image and what people make of me because of my anxiety. Mayne not completely, but it probably has something to do with it. Worrying about who has looked at my story, who had liked my posts, why someone else didn’t, why someone unfollows or unfriends me, if they saw something they didn’t like, etc. Why do I care? Unnecessary.

Something else that sucks about social media addiction is that I am wasting so much time on it. I could be so much more productive. I have the ability to check my phone/social at any time while I am at work. It’s ridiculous because I work overnight. Why should I be on my social overnight? No one is even awake. I’ve actually gotten to the point where I won’t even open any of my social apps some nights. When I do, it’s definitely out of habit. I might go on to search something or listen to music, and then I end up scrolling things (that I already saw today) for too long. It’s seriously mindless. This affects me at home, too. I could be cleaning, pampering myself with facial masks or doing my nails, reading, etc. but worrying about my social somehow wastes the time I should have taken for any of that. I got rid of all social media in high school for a while and it was honestly amazing. I spent more quality time with family, had better conversations, I read more. I don’t feel like it’s possible now for me to get rid of my socials with modeling, but I will be taking steps to use it less.

I find myself having trouble sleeping, but that is because sleeping during the day is hard for me. It’s easy to wake up and check my Instagram though, when I should just be going straight back to sleep. Looking at my notifications, seeing what people liked on my profiles, replying to comments, etc. can wait. I am considering leaving my phone on the kitchen counter while I sleep during the day to see if it makes a difference in my sleep. I’ve also turned my notifications off for a few social apps. I actually see a huge difference in how often I go on the apps I shut the notifications off for. Days will pass and I realize I haven’t checked it at all! That seems to be helping a bunch. Allowing yourself to check your apps/phone only once every couple of hours, for example, might be something I implement.

These are things that can limit my usage and time spent on social media, but I don’t know how to make it less important. I just hope recognizing all of this just means I am one step closer to figuring it all out. I know it can be such a waste of time and energy. Do you feel attached to your phone? Do you check your social media a lot? Would you be able to get rid of it? Or at least limit it? I’m definitely going to try.

P.S. None of this is to say all social media is back and a waste. It offers great communication with family and friends who live far away, have busy schedules, opportunity for my modeling, knowledge on endless topics, etc. I just need to limit the parts bringing negativity in my life. I can be honest with myself and pinpoint those things in order to mitigate them.

[evenbechnet]

Hi Guys This is Zaa or @buckywithegoodhair

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’ve finally decided that I’m going to be leaving the Net. I didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding about why so I’m just going to be direct about it.

To be clear, it is not because of anyone or any one thing, but a number of reasons:

Firstly, although Daf and Faiza who originally started this blog, were pretty cool and I was very excited to be a part of it, it’s really not the place it was to start off with.

I have not been contributing nor been able to contribute to this blog, content wise or even on the gc for some time now, due to my own personal time constraints.

The negativity in this fandom has reached peak highs and I’ve had it with trying to deal with the constant drama. I love Skam, but my enjoyment of the show has drastically been affected by some of the fandom, including people who I followed because of this Net. ( as such I unfollowing a bunch of people- feel free to message me if you are upset if i unfollow you)

Also for reasons that still escape me, Faiza @evenandsana blocked me without any explanation of reason a couple of weeks ago. I’m not gonna pretend that I wasn’t hurt by this, especially since I considered us friends and we were chatting on tumblr a mere day before.

I understand that as two different muslims we may have two different viewpoints, but nowhere in my posts do I ever negate or attack her for having a different opinion. Because Faiza is only one person and widely regarded as a go-to for a Muslim viewpoint in fandom, and rightly so, I only meant to provide a different, less biased opinion. I do not understand how that resulted in me being blocked.

Following that there are a lot of behaviours and posts that have been generated by Faiza, Daf and others, and at this stage I cannot in good conscience stay on as a member of a Net they’ve created when I’m in such disagreement with their Skam content.

I’m not saying they’re horrible people but a lot of the discourse that they and many in this fandom are generating regarding “Islamaphobia, Homophobia and Fetishizing’ is extremely hypocritical to me. I agree there are genuine concerns regarding these issues and fan who display this behaviour, but I cannot stand by and act like I accept it’s okay to attack people with these labels on the smallest of instances. Especially when the people doing the attacking fail to recognise these exact same behaviours in themselves.

It’s one thing to headcanon something or want the story to go in a certain direction and, if you’re lucky it might, but to take your headcanons as fact and then attack people for being homophobic or islamophobic or racist simply because they dont agree, is not okay in my book. These accusations get thrown around far too easily and I feel that it reduces their impact or meaning for when they’re actually relevant.

I struggled with making this post and leaving the net as I was trying to be patient and hoped this kind of negative talk and behaviour would die down. But, it’s reached the level of bullying in my eyes and numerous people have spoken to me about being unhappy and uncomfortable with it as well. 

There is a way of enjoying fandom without being incitetful and instigating negativity and hate at every turn. Especially if you are speaking out against injustices like racism or homophobia. Practice what you preach.

With that said I’ll still be on tumblr trying to enjoy the rest of the Skam season as best I can. Feel free to message me or chat to me about it anytime. I really don’t mean to cause offence or start stuff but I need to make a break from this part of fandom and assertively explain my point of view. It has been great being part of the Net in many ways and most of you have been awesome and lovely and kind to me and I’ve really enjoyed my time with such a talented lovely bunch of people. Like I said I’d still love to be friends and chat with you guys but officially I’d like to leave the Net.

Ta.

[tylerbiard]

Facebook -- TMI

I never got into Facebook when it was new and trendy, circa 2007.  I didn’t have a need for it.  I just watched from the sidelines as my peers slowly migrated from Nexopia (which I also didn’t use) to it.  It wasn’t until after high school that I could’ve seen a use for it, but by that time, Facebook had already peaked in (youth) popularity, and I was increasingly aware of its more negative aspects, especially as someone who even then was critical of increased proliferation of texting and social media.  I didn’t want to become addicted to it, I didn’t want to play Farmville, and as a photographer, I didn’t like how Facebook keeps the right to use your images for whatever purpose they so desire (which isn’t unique to Facebook).

I would regularly get asked about why I didn’t have Facebook, which was increasingly obnoxious, and I knew there were certain social aspects that I was missing out on, so I caved in 2015.  Now it’s been going on two years and I’m left wondering what all the fuss was over.  Don’t get me wrong -- there are a lot of cool features to Facebook.  But I’ve never found such an anxiety-inducing amalgam of banality.  I often consider pulling the plug and deleting my account, but I always stop just short, instead deactivating as a more pragmatic approach.

I think a lot of my anxiety with Facebook stem from one thing specifically, and that’s just the amount of information Facebook presents to you.  It’s too much.  It’s overly personal, too, due to the way the platform is set up.  It’s also the type of information Facebook gives you, which is often of the lowest common denominator variety, partially due to the platform itself, partially due to the user base and how they use it. 

Now, to be clear, I realize I came to Facebook late, and know there once was a reason young people flocked to it.  But once everyone and their grandma jumped on board, it became an awkward family dinner party.  I completely understand the rise of Snapchat as a reaction against the familial, curated juggernaut that is Facebook for young people.  Kids want to be kids without having to worry who will see what they liked, and don’t necessarily want to share always-manicured stuff for Instagram.

One of the more obvious issues with Facebook is clickbait.  Probably due to clientele and sheer size, Facebook, like no other social network, is synonymous with it.  Instagram doesn’t even allow links in an effort to cut down spam and clickbait.  I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been tempted by catchy, vapid articles, but at the end of the day, there is no way I’m going to actually need to know 10 surprising things I didn’t know a jellyfish could do.  I live in a landlocked province, BuzzFeed!  Clickbait is the type of thing that makes you unproductive at whatever you should be doing without actually gaining anything meaningful.  You may as well trudge through Wikipedia articles instead and gain insight.

A nicer Facebook feature is that you can hook up other social accounts for easy cross-posting.  But it comes at a price.  For the way Tumblr is configured to connect with Facebook, not only does it let you cross-post Tumblr posts to Facebook, but for some reason, it allows Facebook to keep a tally of everything you like or share on Tumblr.  Just a bit creepy.  This doesn’t happen with Instagram or Twitter.

As previously mentioned, I often pragmatically just deactivate my Facebook account whenever I feel overwhelmed by it.  Whenever you do this, Facebook pulls a guilt trip on you saying “X friend will miss you.”  Very nice.  Perhaps this isn’t overtly information overload, but it’s still kinda lame, and adds another deranged wing to the platform. The “friends” are either someone who won’t actually miss me, because we don’t actually talk anyways, or it’s someone who can get ahold of me through other means, including, amazingly enough, Facebook Messenger!

Although I find Messenger nice enough to not deactivate it, it is clearly sadistic in some ways.  For example the right pane (on browser), constantly notifying you who is on Facebook and when they were last on Facebook.  Through that, it’s easy to start picking out who spends too much time on Facebook, and notice habits in when people are on.  These are things I don’t want to know and should only be valuable to stalkers in almost all cases.  So why is it there?  But the real vile part of it is the Read notifications.  And not only does this show you that someone has viewed your message, Messenger also tells you exactly when.  There are many articles dealing with “left on read”, but I’ll just say the whole thing, while a nice idea, should just be abolished.  It is a terrible situation for both parties. For the receiver of a message, it creates unnecessary pressure to respond, as the clock starts ticking once you’ve opened the message, when you may simply have opened by accident or are trying to figure out a response.  Or you just don’t have anything to say.  It’s even worse for the sender, who sees their message read, and then just left.  It creates this self-loathing anxiety encircling the notion that your message isn’t important and that your “friend” doesn’t care about what you have to say.  Which isn’t necessarily the case, either.   These features create an environment where people get anxious, analyze the hell out of things, in the process making assumptions, putting pressure, and so forth, and it’s all just not healthy.  We really don’t need to be informed the time that a message was read, nor do we need to know when someone was last online, nor any of this.  As someone who’s dealt with both ends of these issues, I think it’s best to keep Messenger as an augmented version of texting (not iMessage) in the right ways (eg stickers, customizing, group chats, etc).  

The bulk of Facebook’s information overload aspects come more from the personal side of things.  Some of this is literally the posting behaviour of members.  Like, I don’t actually care what Gilmore Girl you’re most like.  I mean, to each their own, but I don’t really get why it has to be shared.  Every.  Time.  It’s spammy.  And I know people whose profiles are just endless “test” results.  I admit, sometimes they can be interesting, but the lowest common denominator variety rarely are, unless ironically (so hipster!). I think that’s the crux of it too; the banal, lowest common denominator drivel runs amok on Facebook in a way you don’t find elsewhere.  It’s all very underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time.  Yet for some reason I still log back in.  It baffles me sometimes, to be honest.

On top of that, Facebook likes to show that “X friend liked/commented on this”.  Most times, I don’t care.  Other times, it might be interesting, but I have no desire to interact with the post (which is presumably why Facebook does this) because it’s a post by a random friend-of-a-friend, whom I’ve never met.  I’m not going to like or comment in that situation.  It’d be weird. It’d be awkward.  It’s the kind of thing that makes people desire to be very selective with what they like on Facebook because it may show up in someone’s feed, without that someone even looking for it.  And because of the more personal (i.e. familial) nature of Facebook, it makes it doubly awkward.  Personally, this isn’t an issue for me, but it’s still obnoxious. 

Also, unlike Instagram, Facebook seems to serve as a photo dump for every photo from a night out to be posted.  It really is just a waste of bandwidth to post two near-identical photos, side by side.  I get that there is a less-rigourously-curated nature to Facebook, but c’mon.  It makes the feed far less enticing to peruse.  I guess there’s the unfollow option in these cases.  More to the point, is that for some reason so many Facebook users (myself included) felt obligated to add people that they really have no interest in just to be “nice”.  Usually it’s relatives, but it can be acquaintances or randos you met somewhere, sometime.  It really makes Facebook that awkward dinner party I pointed to earlier.  Often times, it’s perceived to be too awkward to unfriend, while others go through regular culls.  For the former group, though, it dilutes the feed with stuff people aren’t interested in from people they aren’t interested in, which is why young people have flooded Tumblr, Instagram, and Snapchat.

But why not just delete it at that point?  I’ve heard rumblings that many younger teens now don’t bother with Facebook, but once you’ve got it, it seems odd to get rid of it.  It’s still a highly used platform, so it’s very, very useful for engaging with people.  It’s great for groups, for events, and of course, more personal stuff.  Facebook is a walled garden, and provided you set your posts not to public, it can allow you to be more real about things, provided you don’t have to worry about random aunts and acquaintances seeing it (or don’t care).  It isn’t always a presentation of your best self, and in some ways that can be liberating.  It’s candid.  I like that.  For the people I genuinely care about keeping up with, Facebook is a fabulously personal platform.  But there’s also just a lot of bullshit on Facebook, including sometimes from those you do care about keeping up with, which makes Snapchat more and more enticing for “who cares” posting.  If only most of my friends actually used it!  Maybe I just need to unfriend a bunch of randos that I don’t really have in my life.  But there’s still the systematic issues with the platform that wouldn’t be resolved in such a scenario. 

For now, Facebook just feels like a taxing, necessary evil.  I’m growing kinda tired of social media and smartphones in general, so maybe one day I’ll pull the plug.  For now, I’m merely becoming distant to alleviate myself from the more toxic and creepy elements of Facebook, so that I can still reap the benefits of the platform.  Hopefully it works.

There’s probably more I could’ve gone into here, but does anyone else feel similarly about Facebook as a platform of “TMI”?   Anyone else feel stuck with it due to the broad nature of the platform?

[stupidusernamepolicy]

Once again, taking a break from negative stuff.

This is the third time I’ve done this in the last four months, but I’m swarmed with exams, sick, and irritable, so do not expect anything political because I am far too close to screaming my opinions and getting a ton of shit because of it.

So, this is going to be fandoms (primarily tf2), funny stuff and just general, tranquil neutrality. Though expect gore and fictional sadness, as it is always here.

So, this is the not to post for an indefinite amount of time:

No politics in general. Fuck off with that shit. America has problems that affect the rest of us but those aren’t the only problems for Christ’s sake. No awareness posts. Stressful and pointless if you take in how many reblogs of the same thing I see once I peer over to my actual dash, along with how little people following me actually see these. No discourse; for fuck’s sake I always break that. Just.. no. Screw that. I’m ignoring all of that. No cutesy romance stuff. Ships aren’t off limits, but god am I sick and tired of seeing such stuff. It feels exaggerated. You have a great partner, and that’s great. But if I see another one of these I’m going to blow. There’s just so many

And that being said, I’ll probably unfollow plenty of people to avoid such content. If I did that by any chance and you’re reading this; No hard feelings. I’m only one person in the bunch.

I mean I made this blog as a sanctuary, not a clusterfuck magnet for negative stuff. I’m only a teenager, and I can only handle so much with my stupid brain and body figuring out how to deal with their development.

I need to build back my walls and filters for all the bullshit and I’m going to start that with a good night’s sleep.