#This sounds like a lot of excuses and I'm sorry. I wanted to avoid throwing out a bunch of excuses but I did want to mention the first part. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yeonmuse · 4 months ago

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FLOOR 22 | DAY 8

PAIRING Lyricist & Lead Singer Kevin x Fan Reader

WORD COUNT | 2k

GENRE Smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ‼️ vaginal, body worship, mature language,etc

SUMMARY He spotted you in the crowd the night of his show and as if fate was on his side he found that you had been staying in the exact same hotel that he had been staying in.

MORE | Day 8 of the Groupie Love Series

Kevin was completely mesmerized as his eyes found you in the crowd. You seemed so bold and carefree the way your body moved at its own will, the only one that stood out to him amongst the crowd. Amongst the many women throwing panties and bras or trying their hardest to get the attention of him and the rest of the band you seemed to be in your own little world. You seemed to be doing something that was most important to him when it came to these shows, enjoying the music. Whether it was dancing in your own or rocking your hips to the sound of the music against some lonesome stranger you were just completely captivating, that was exactly why he why he would end the show regretting not having pulled you up on that stage.

When the show was over and he was alone in his car driving back to his hotel he mentally cursed himself for not having figured out who you were. He was left with just the memory alone of how you looked, no way of putting a name to the face, no way of contacting you, or at least that’s what he thought. As he arrives at the hotel he steps out of his car with an annoyed groan, throwing his keys over to the valet he disregards the thought of you all together, as his hope of finding you was somewhat lost.

“What the hell do you mean you gave away my room? Check In doesn’t even end until 11 o'clock.”

“Ma’am it’s on a first come first served basis if you had checked in on time then this mix up could have been avoided.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Look, I'm trying my best to stay calm and not be disrespectful, but either you pay me back in full or find me another room.”

Kevin was planning on simply passing by without regard for what had been happening in the lobby, after all it wasn’t just business. His plans were completely spoiled as he entered the lobby and saw your familiar frame standing at the check in.

“Ah Mr. Moon I'm sorry, did you need something?” Seeming to have completely disregarded you as if you weren’t there the receptionist redirects her attention to Kevin.

“Excuse the fuck out of me?” It was obvious now that you were completely pissed, so pissed that you hadn’t even seemed to notice who had been standing right there behind you.

“Actually, find her a room and put it on my card.”

“But sir, the only room we have left is our vacation suite and it currently has not yet been cleaned by housekeeping.”

“Whatever it is, have it ready for her by tonight, in the meantime have her bags brought to my floor, she can stay in the penthouse until her room is ready. If that’s alright with her of course.”

“I'd love to actually thank you.” Kevin couldn’t hide his adoration or amusement towards you when you turned towards the receptionist with a smug grin and spoke a sarcastic thank you.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that, you’re honestly a lot sweeter than I thought you’d be.”

“You know me?” Of course you knew him, and he obviously knew that having seen you at his show tonight but he couldn't let you know that.

“Mm somewhat, i could tell you more about your songs than i could about the band, not that you guys aren’t interesting, i've just found that sometimes the artists behind the music aren’t who they make themselves out to be sometimes.”

“And what do I make myself out to be?” He was quite curious to say the least, but most of all he was dying to know your perception of him.

“Mm it's too early in the conversation now but having seen videos of you offstage sometimes you seem like someone that just wants to enjoy his life, you don’t care much for public opinion, you’re the most carefree amongst the others.”

“Guess I'll have to take this time to prove your perception of me right.” His playful demeanor earned a laugh from you which immediately made him smile in response. You seemed to be in complete awe the moment the elevator doors opened onto his private floor, he had a penthouse all to himself.

“Make yourself comfortable, I'm sure your clothes will be up soon so if you want to take a shower you can use the first room to the left upstairs, if you need anything just give me a call i'll be in the kitchen.”

As Kevin instructed you make your way up the stairs and into the first door on the left. The entire penthouse just completely amazed you from the decor to the view of the city. You absolutely couldn’t believe that someone like Kevin Moon would invite you into his suite, but you were grateful. Seconds later as you had been taking in the view there was a knock on the door interrupting your viewing. As you opened it you were met with your bags placed outside the door, and you figured Kevin just sat there wanting to respect your privacy. Finally you could get out of those clothes and take a much needed shower.

While you had been upstairs showering Kevin had been downstairs in the kitchen, his mind seemingly wandering as he prepared dinner for both himself and now his new guest. A guest that Kevin couldn’t help but wonder what she would look like pressed against his wall. He was pulled from his thoughts as you entered the kitchen, in a crop top and a pair of shorts.

“It smells good in here, who would have known you could cook too.”

“There's a lot the media doesn’t care to know.” Kevin forced himself to look away from you, in order to not completely embarrass himself and ruin dinner in front of you. He couldn’t help but tense up in front of you throughout his cooking, you seemed to watch his every move, even when he shoves both dishes into the oven and sets the timer he could feel the way your eyes were glued to him.

“Maybe I should start a cooking show since you seem quite interested in watching me cook.”

“I'm sorry I stared too hard. Were you weirded out? I was just trying to pay attention to the steps since I never had what you’re making, I figured I’d just watch.”

“You're cute, Kevin chuckles and opens up the oven, he drops his spoon into the pan and takes out just enough for you to taste.”

“Since it's already nearly done I’ll have you be my little critic.” He brings the spoon to your mouth, his eyes stick on your lips as they wrap around the spoon. You seemed to have enjoyed it as a satisfied moan spills from your lips, making Kevin tense up.

“Kevin, this is so good, what the hell.” While you had been throwing Kevin praises, he seemed to have checked out. His eyes still on your lips, his mind playing the sound you made after tasting the food over and over.

“Kevin..”

“You have something here.” His thumb brushes across your lips making you immediately stiffen at his touch having been caught off guard. As if letting his intrusive thoughts win Kevins thumb brushes over your lips once again before he stuffs his thumb past your lips.

“You looked so beautiful at the show tonight I just couldn’t resist getting you alone. I'm sorry pretty, but I did lie to you…you think you can get past that? You think you could forget that I offered you to be here for my own selfish agenda?” His free hand rests on your waist. As he felt your tongue swipe across his thumb he knew that was his given answer.

“You looked so beautiful tonight, let me show you how someone should treat someone so beautiful.”

He lays you back against the counter, as he leaves adoring kisses from your waist to your chest his hands roamed every part of your body as if reading to memorize every frame. The way he touched and kissed your body like he was worshiping it sent chills up your spine. As he pushes your legs back to your chest a soft moan spills past your lips as you could feel how hard he was pressing up against your shorts through his pants. His hand rests on your ass and you immediately press into him making his breath get caught in his throat.

“If you keep on tempting me ill have to fuck You right here.” The moment he spoke you felt yourself clench and of course he felt it too. He now has both hands on your waist using his hold to press your ass again him, grinning as he hears a moan spill from your lips.

“Don’t play with me, Please Kevin.”

“I don’t know, I like hearing you beg.” He chuckles and you direct a slap to his chest making him laugh more. Finally as if not being able to wait himself he pulls off both your panties and shorts in one go before throwing them off to the side. Looking down at you like this he was completely mesmerized. You watch him as he leans back to push down his pants all while taking in the sight of you.

“Even more beautiful like this.” Without warning he pushes his thumb against your clit and applies pressure against it.

"I guess I'll have to admire how pretty it is later, I need you so bad right now, gorgeous." you moan at the pressure against your feeling his finger presses up against your clit in a way of not letting up. Finally moving his thumb he aligns his cock with your entrance before shoving inside.

“Oh fuck wait.” Kevin's nails dig into your thighs as you stop him from moving any further. Your back arching against the counter top as you tried to adjust to his size for a moment.

“Shit move.” He didn't need to be told twice, he starts off at this slow pace and moans lightly feeling how you clenched around him every time. Kevin didn't miss the way your nails clawed at the kitchen counter and then that was when you moaned his name, the moment he heard his name from your lips he knew he needed to hear more. They only fuel him to go faster and harder.

When he bottomed out you both groaned, and then he set a brutal pace. He was reaching so deeply that you were now certain you could feel it in your stomach. He bullied your cervix with the tip; slamming into you over and over as you cried out at the feeling.

“Kev, it’s too much-“ you whimpered, making him reach down to caress your cheek.

“Just hold on a little longer for me, beautiful you’re doing so well” he grunts in response to your soft whines, picking up his speed and rubbing his thumb over your clit.

In that moment you exploded with a loud moan. He picked up his speed, gripping your waist and yanking you into his thrusts. One of your hands reached up to pull him closer and he easily obliged. Leaning in closer he let your fingers tangle in his hair as he left kisses along your collarbone. By now you were practically crying from the overstimulating feeling but he still didn’t let up. His thrusts were getting sloppier and less rhythmic. Now his hips were stuttering and before you had a moment to realize what was happening he was sucking on your shoulder, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you melted to the pleasure, pure mind-dissolving ecstasy. You came hard, little dots of light scattering around your vision as your orgasm ripped through you. Kevin wraps his hands around the curve of your hips as he releases every drop deep inside of you.

“Ah fuck, we got this far and i didn’t even ask you your name.” Kevin, still breathless from moments ago, facepalms as he realized he had completely ruined you and never asked for your name. At his reaction you simply laugh and reach up to play with his hair.

“Yn, its Yn”

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gleamingyu · 1 year ago

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anti-hero.

part II of the midnights series. inspired by taylor swift’s midnights. part I

pairing: music-producer!seungcheol x lawyer!fem!reader [exes-to-lovers]

genre: angst. fluff.

warnings: she/her pronouns for reader (but no specific physical characteristics). a bucketload of angst (i'm so sorry). light cursing. terrible knowledge of law stuff. so much crying yikes. miscommunication & misunderstandings. mentions of drinking and allusions to driving under the influence (do not do that ever!!). reader might seem a bit unlikeable in this chapter, but it's all part of the plot, okay?? she's trying her best. mentions of intimacy and sex (??), nothing graphic tho. slow burn. alternating povs. jihan as my lovely, beautiful, in love babies (yes they're a couple). some petnames (baby, babe). flashbacks are in italics. lower caps intended [if there’s anything i missed, please let me know!]

word count: approx. 8.1k (idk what happened)

notes: finally managed to work on my baby again. i'm sorry for the long wait but i had a lot of shit going on :/ thank you to everyone who showed love on the first part, i love each and every single on of you!! once again, likes, reblogs and comments are more than appreciated :)

summary: seungcheol wants to fix things; you want to avoid him at all costs. one thing is for sure, though. neither of you will have closure until you talk.

four months ago

the silence ringing inside seungcheol’s ears was even louder than the ambient noise of the restaurant he found himself in.

he genuinely couldn’t believe you were doing this to him again. the time was nearing 8 p.m., almost an hour later than when you were supposed to be here, and seungcheol was trying very hard to ignore the pitiful glances the waiters were not-so-subtly throwing him. he didn’t know what frustrated him more; the fact this was the seventh date you were clearly canceling on, or that you hadn’t updated him on your whereabouts in almost half an hour. if you weren’t going to show up, the least you could do is call and let seungcheol know you were gonna meet him at home.

home. funny how the word no longer brought a sense of peace in seungcheol’s heart.

just as he was about to get up and leave, seungcheol felt his phone buzz in the pocket of his pants, and his heart soared when he saw your name displayed on the screen. maybe you were going to make it after all, maybe you could still enjoy the nice evening he had planned, maybe…

“cheol… i’m so sorry.”

you were not coming.

seungcheol could tell from the apologetic tone in your voice. he didn’t even hear the next words that came from your end, whatever excuse you had to offer getting lost in the sound of his heart breaking. the grip he had on his phone was the only thing anchoring him in that moment, his eyes closed as he was trying to push down the tears that were threatening to spill out. he could hear you calling his name, are you there? but all he could offer was an “i’ll see you at home” before ending the call.

there was no part of you that was ready to face what awaited you on the other side of your apartment door.

the day hadn’t gone as you’d planned. you knew seungcheol had plans for the two of you that evening, so you had decided to wake up and go to the office earlier than usual in order to finish what you were working on in time for your date. but when you woke up that morning, you found seungcheol in the kitchen, diligently trying his best at making breakfast for the two of you. you melted at the sight of your boyfriend wearing your peach-colored apron – and nothing underneath but a pair of sweatpants – and you didn’t have the heart to turn him down when he oh-so-gleefully presented you with what could only be described as an admirable attempt at pancakes. moments like these were rare in your lives, with both of your hectic schedules and whatnot, so you sat down and enjoyed the warmth that came from the food, the sun coming in through the curtains, and seungcheol’s smile.

the sense of peace that came with spending the morning with seungcheol quickly dispersed once you arrived at the office and realized you were late, which gave your boss – mr. moon, a pathetic, greedy, and cruel excuse of a man who lived to make the lives of his employees a living hell – the perfect excuse to make you his target of the day. in addition to the case you were supposed to work on, mr. moon decided to dump on you stacks of paperwork that apparently needed to be taken care of by tonight, a task that normally a damn paralegal could take care of – no offense to paralegals.

normally you wouldn’t put up with this type of behavior. you weren’t raised to let people just walk all over you as they damn pleased. but around the office, there was one unspoken rule that everyone learned as soon as they started working here; ‘whatever mr. moon says, goes.’ besides, moon was the only person on the board of directors that could veto promotions in the firm, so until you could see the words senior associate inscribed under your name on the door of your office, you’d have to shut your mouth and take whatever was thrown at you with your head held high.

that isn’t to say that sometimes you wished mr. moon would get hit by a bus, ‘mean girls’ style. today had been one of those days, as the hours trickled by, closer and closer to when you should leave for your date with seungcheol, and yet mr. moon seemed to have a continuous stream of tasks that needed to be done, by you specifically. you realized you would never make it in time to see seungcheol, and so, tonight marked the seventh date you had to cancel because of work.

now, with the time on your phone reading 22:32, you were standing outside your apartment, bracing yourself for the talk you knew you were going to have with seungcheol. letting out a big exhale, you punched in the door code and let yourself in, the quietness of the apartment immediately enveloping you.

for a split second, you thought seungcheol might have gone to sleep already, but the faint sound of glass redirected you towards the kitchen, where you found said man standing by the kitchen island, nursing a glass of wine. you recognized the bottle mingyu had gifted him on his birthday that year, some fancy brand you’d never heard of before. as you stepped closer, the dim light of the kitchen finally illuminating you, seungcheol turned towards you, an inscrutable look on his face.

after four years of learning, knowing, loving seungcheol, you prided yourself in being able to discern what he was feeling at any given moment. but now, standing in front of him, you were scared to admit that you couldn’t read whatever feelings his eyes held. it made you feel uneasy, the way it seemed like he was looking through you, into you, and you wished you could come up with something to say to disturb the uncomfortable silence, but saying i’m sorry seemed redundant in that moment.

“a bit late, isn’t it?” seungcheol spoke up, and your heart clenched at the cold, almost mocking tone of his voice.

“i know, but i couldn’t get out faster. no matter what i said, my boss kept piling up my work and i just… i couldn’t. i’m so sorry… you know i wanted to come, more than anything. i really did,” you said, silently pleading that seungcheol would forgive you.

“i’m sure you did,” seungcheol gruffed, turning his attention back to the wine before him.

“cheol… don’t be like this, please…” you tried getting closer to him, but his body whipped towards you, his eyes narrowing at you.

“like what, exactly? angry? frustrated? sad? disappointed? i can be like that, actually, seeing as this is the seventh time in 3 months you’ve ditched me for work, apparently!” seungcheol spewed, making you take several steps back. your body tenses.

“‘apparently?’ what is that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, it just seems very unlikely that you’d have to sometimes spend more than twelve hours at work. i mean, you’re a lawyer, aren’t you? surely, you should know everything about workplace laws,” seungcheol bit back. he’s never spoken to you like this before, ever, the mockery in his voice surely aimed to hurt you. you felt anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach, but you tried your best to stay calm, for the sake of both of you.

“seungcheol,” you said, and you couldn’t help feeling a twinge of satisfaction seeing his eyebrows raise in surprise after hearing you use his full name. “if you have something to say, i’d rather you just do it, instead of insinuating it.”

seungcheol fell quiet for a moment, glancing down at his feet. “i meant it when i said i was held back at work, cheol. why would i lie about that?” you continued.

“for the past two years that you’ve been working there, you know i never once met any of your coworkers? i’ve never even stepped foot into your office, for god’s sake! you’ve been to my studio countless of times, you know the people i’m closest to, i’ve invited you to all the events the label organizes, so i just can’t understand! i don’t understand why you’re dead-set on keeping me away from that part of your life! and it makes me think… it makes me feel like i’m not enough, like you’re ashamed of me–”

“that’s absolutely not true, cheol!” you jumped in. you couldn’t even entertain the thought of seungcheol feeling self-conscious because of you, when it was the furthest thing you wanted. “i think you’re the most talented person i know, the most passionate, hard-working, smart… beautiful… i could never be ashamed of you.”

unshed tears were clinging to both of your lashes, heavy breathing echoing around the kitchen. how could you let things get so bad?

“it made me think there was someone else,” seungcheol breathes out.

the air gets stuck in your throat, the tears brimming in your eyes finally sliding down your face. “cheol… how could… there never was anyone! i swear, all the nights i would come home late, it was because of my work! i swear, i would never… you’re the only person that’s ever on my mind…”

silence fell over you and seungcheol, the words thrown between you slowly sinking in. seungcheol sniffled, taking a seat at the round table in the middle of the kitchen; you wished you could go to him, gather him in your arms, even though he’s too big to fit in completely, but you knew that this was probably the last thing seungcheol wanted from you in that moment.

“why don’t you quit?”

seungcheol looked up to you, the sadness in his gaze so intense it made you look away, knowing you’re to blame for it. “you complain so much about it… the hours, the work, the boss, the people. why can’t you just leave?”

you breathed in, thinking over seungcheol’s words. “because… because i love doing what i do. i feel about law the way you feel about music. it’s just the environment that’s shitty. but it’s something… that’s mine. and the kind of opportunities i got at this firm… people just starting out, like me, don’t come by them very often usually.”

there was a pause as seungcheol mulled over your words. a part of you thought, hoped, that the way the conversation was going would lead to fixing things, but then seungcheol spoke up again, and you knew. there was no fixing, not anymore.

“i was yours, too. and i would’ve never chosen music over you.”

“you say that now, but if you were put in a situation where you had to choose, i don’t think you’d have as easy of a time as you say.”

“i guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

and that was the end of it.

three days after your unexpected reunion with seungcheol, you find yourself back at PLEDIS, ready to tackle jihoon’s case.

the morning had gone on normally enough, with people coming in to give their testimonies regarding jihoon, his work and their relationships with him. as expected, no one had come forward with any potentially harmful or negative remarks about him, everyone applauding him for his tireless dedication to the label and the artists he worked with, as well as marveling at his seemingly innate musical talent and creativity. this was no surprise to you; having known jihoon for almost as long as you’d known seungcheol, you witnessed first-hand jihoon’s mastery of his craft, on multiple occasions. and now, with all the information you had gathered in the past three hours since arriving at PLEDIS, you were starting to feel more confident about winning this lawsuit.

initially, you had no intention of taking on jihoon’s case. the previous weekend, when mr. moon had called you in, you arrived at the firm with your mind set on demanding a break. in the past months, you might as well have changed your home address to the office, seeing as you had been working non-stop on one case after another, pulling countless sleepless nights and taking on extra paperwork as favors to some of your coworkers. and after finding out what the case was actually about, you were even more adamant about turning it down. but all the excuses you offered mr. moon were effectively shut down, leaving you almost begging the man to pass the case to someone else.

before you could use your past relationship with the other in-house music producer working at PLEDIS as an excuse, mr. moon delivered the lowest of low blows. “you know, a high profile case like this could attract lots of new clients for the firm… and put you right on the track for senior associate.”

there was no use arguing anymore after that. moon knew how much you wanted that promotion, and you were honestly not surprised to see him using it against you in order to force you into doing whatever work he wanted you to. so you shut your mouth, took the case, and then went home and cried.

yes, you cried. moving on.

seeing seungcheol again, and unexpectedly so, definitely set you a few steps back in whatever emotional healing you had done in the past few months. and it definitely made you doubt your own abilities as a lawyer. if you couldn’t put aside your personal feelings and instead focus on helping a guy who was being wrongfully accused, were you even meant to practice the law? but you had worked far too hard and sacrificed far too much to let these thoughts cloud your judgment and confidence, so you told yourself that even if you had to be in seungcheol’s proximity for the foreseeable future, your main priority was winning this case. for jihoon, and for yourself.

of course, planning to ignore the obvious feelings you still harbored for your ex-boyfriend was way easier than actually ignoring them. now, as you were gathering your things to meet wonwoo in the conference room he was stationed in, you were also mentally preparing yourself for the off-chance that you would bump into seungcheol again. considering how your luck’s been going in the past few weeks, you think the chances are pretty high.

walking through the halls of PLEDIS felt oddly familiar, and yet strange at the same time. when you and seungcheol first started dating, the label was just starting out, carrying all its business in a measly two-story building on the outskirts of town. you felt a tiny knot forming at the back of your throat, thinking how crazy it was to have witnessed the immense growth that seungcheol went through as an artist and a person, and now, to be walking amongst the fruits of the labor of his work, and so many other people’s, who built the label from the ground up.

as you grow nearer to the conference room where wonwoo was most likely waiting for you, you suddenly catch a whiff of a scent all too familiar to you. musky notes of jasmine and bergamot fill your senses, and for a brief moment, you feel an almost supernatural pull urging you to follow the indistinguishable fragrance.

you know exactly where it leads. but now is not the time.

before you can push the door open and walk into the room, your phone’s screen lights up with a text message. ‘hey honey. can you call when you have the time? she’s not having a very good day…’

you sigh, before dialing your mom’s number.

four years ago

seungcheol always smelled divine.

over the years, you’d heard so many of your friends go on and on about their boyfriends’ perfumes, and how once they found the right scent, they could charm the pants off of them with just the smell of their cologne. to you, that idea seemed entirely far-fetched, because, after all, people aren’t dogs. who in their right mind would base their selection of a partner on something as feeble as smell? even more so, an artificial smell, that didn’t even last forever.

clearly, since a few weeks ago, you haven’t been in your right mind, because you swore there was nothing better in this world than the way seungcheol smelled.

all your friends kept telling you that they’d never seen you act like this before. the honeymoon phase of your relationship had hit you pretty hard, and you were completely smitten with cheol. his smile, his eyes, his dimples, his laugh, his hair, his charm… and his scent, you couldn’t get enough of him. and now, as you were making your way towards PLEDIS together, you couldn’t help but wish you could nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck and stay there forever.

it was your first time seeing where seungcheol worked. you had been wanting to see his studio ever since he had first told you about his job (and proved that he wasn’t one of those wannabe soundcloud rappers or whatever), but considering the label wasn’t exactly in a central location, getting there proved slightly difficult. not to mention that most days, your classes ran pretty late, and seungcheol shared his studio with jihoon, the other music producer at PLEDIS, which meant you couldn’t pop in whenever you had a window of free time, so as to not disturb them.

that night, however, seungcheol decided you deserved a break from your studies, and since your midterms were coming up, it might have been one of the last times you could afford to go out before getting swept up in the craziness of exam season. so after your last class of the day, seungcheol picked you up from campus and drove you outside of town, where PLEDIS stood.

“are you absolutely sure it’s alright for me to be here? i don’t want you to get in trouble with your… superiors, if that’s what you call them,” you said, walking up the stairs closely behind cheol.

“i already told you, it’s fine! besides, you’re not planning to steal any confidential information and spread it online, are you?” he teased, stopping in front of a door that you assumed was his studio.

“hmm, i don’t know… what makes you think i’m not secretly working for one of your competitors?”

seungcheol chuckled, shaking his head, before looking back at you. “oh, baby, you and i both know you like me too much to hurt me so,” he said, finally unlocking the door and letting you step inside.

well, he wasn’t wrong.

to most people, seungcheol and jihoon’s studio might not have looked like much. it held all the standard recording and mixing equipment one would expect to find there, along with personal touches from the boys, like pictures with their friends, some posters, a couple of cd racks, as well as a couch and two huge leather desk chairs. one the other side, inside the recording booth, you could see a keyboard, a couple of guitars, and a drum set, as well as some microphones, of course. to someone who’s never stepped foot in a recording studio before, like you, the place was amazing. and not just because cheol worked in there.

“i know it’s not a lot…” seungcheol mumbles, moving besides you, his arm stretched out in a way that said you could walk around.

your hands grazed the equipment on his desk, holding yourself back in fear of breaking something. “i like it, cheol. it’s homely, and cozy. definitely a good space to get those creative juices flowing,” you gave him a genuine smile, which you could tell instantly put him at ease from the way his shoulders visibly relaxed. he grinned at you, pulling up next to you by the sound board.

“you wanna see how the magic happens?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. you couldn’t help but groan, rolling your eyes.

“cheol, that was so cheesy… but yes, i do. please,” you said, giddy smiles taking over both of your faces.

“okay! come here,” he said, pulling you into his lap as he sat down in his desk chair. you felt your cheeks heat up at his actions, so natural and nonchalant, totally unaware of the effect he had on you. how could he be so oblivious, and quite literally torture you so? being so close to him now, his cologne starting to overpower your senses, you were sure to go dizzy.

“i’m gonna use one of the demos i have here, but for the record, i did not play anything for you while you were here, got it?” seungcheol said, opening an audio file on his laptop.

“yes, sir!” you gave him a wink, his ears turning red. cute.

for the next couple of minutes, seungcheol gives you a rundown on the soundboard, showing you what goes into recording and mixing a song, and even letting you play around with the different settings for pitch and autotune. even though it was all very interesting, nothing compared to just watching seungcheol’s excitement and passion while talking about music. every time your conversations would somehow turn towards music, his face would light up like a kid’s on christmas morning, his whole body animatedly gesturing while he rattled on about his favorite artists and composers, whatever new album came out that week, and even why a song with a good bass line is guaranteed to become a hit (yes, that was an actual discussion the two of you had once). seeing the obvious love he harbored for this art form made you ten times more enamored with him. you could already tell his passion and hard work were going to take him places, and you couldn’t wait to see it all.

“cheol? how did you know you wanted to do music?” you asked, turning to look up at your boyfriend.

“oh, wow, we’re going for the deep stuff, huh?” he laughed.

“you don’t have to share if you don’t want to, i was just curious… you always talk so passionately about it, i could just tell it means a lot to you.”

seungcheol sighed, leaning back into the chair. “it’s alright. i really don’t know how i got here, to be honest. i’ve always been interested in music, and found myself writing and experimenting with sound. one day, i just knew that i couldn’t really picture myself doing anything else. so i focused on that and worked my ass off, i guess.”

“well, clearly?! we’re sitting in your own studio! i’d say you’re doing pretty great,” you exclaimed, smiling at seungcheol’s blushing cheeks. “you should be proud of yourself, cheol, really.”

seungcheol can’t even look at you right now, too overcome with giddiness at the onslaught of compliments you’re suddenly throwing his way. instead, he shoves his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling a quiet ‘thanks.’

“is it hard to come up with new music?” you continue, playing with the strings of the hoodie he was wearing.

“hmm, it depends,” his voice is muffled, and you flinch at the ticklish feeling of his breath fanning on your neck. “there are days when i can put down a whole song and melody at once; sometimes it takes me weeks to be satisfied with a song i’m working on. but lately i’ve been feeling more… inspired than usual, so it’s been going pretty well.”

you turn your face towards him, a teasing smile stretching across your lips. “oh, really? how come?”

seungcheol returns your smile, his fingers pressing slightly harder into your skin where they sat on your waist. “just someone i met recently… they’re really nice and beautiful and funny and smart,” now it was your turn to grow shy, feeling your cheeks and chest grow warm at the implication of his words. “but i think jihoon is growing tired of all the ballads i’ve been writing.”

you both fall into a fit of giggles, your faces so impossibly close, your noses brush. “poor jihoon… whatever will he do?” you whisper, and before you can breathe in again, seungcheol’s lips fall against yours.

the air in your lungs dissipates in seconds. your entire body is ablaze, and you swear your hearing no longer registers the music playing from seungcheol’s laptop, instead becoming attuned to the sound of cheol’s soft sighs. you want this moment to last forever, to melt into his embrace, ingrain yourself into his very existence. his lips grow more and more fervent against yours, and you swear your mind goes blank, the only thought even going through your head in that moment a chant of his name. cheol, cheol, cheol, cheol…

later that night, once you’re home, getting ready for bed, you catch a whiff of seungcheol’s cologne again, the scents of his perfume imbued into your sweatshirt. you can’t help but smile like an idiot.

you didn’t wash that sweatshirt for a week after.

no matter how much seungcheol loved his friends, he couldn’t go on another second hearing jeonghan and joshua discuss whether they should choose lilies or hydrangeas for their wedding (because the good ol’ rose is too much of a cliche, apparently, according to joshua).

an exasperated sigh escaped him, his whole body slouching from the weight of the gloom he was carrying. jeonghan and joshua, who had been animatedly bantering over wedding preparations, suddenly go quiet, their heads snapping up to look at their friend. if this was a cartoon, they swore you would see a huge, gray cloud hanging above his head.

“alright, you gotta tell us what’s got you all pouty and gloomy, because this? this is just sad, cheol,” said joshua, gesturing at seungcheol’s crouched figure.

he sighed again, but straightened his back this time. the truth was, nothing particularly bad had happened today. but the day hadn’t gone as seungcheol had initially planned.

that morning, seungcheol had arrived at work determined to talk to you. seeing you again earlier that week had broken down the walls seungcheol had put up in the months following your breakup, and all the emotions he had tried pushing behind those walls – anger, sadness, frustration, yearning, love – were slowly, but surely, seeping back in. there was no point denying it anymore; seungcheol was not ready to let go just yet.

taking jihoon’s advice to heart, he decided to ‘grow some balls’ and initiate a discussion with you, one that you probably should’ve had before any of the shit that went down between the two of you could’ve gone down. seungcheol knew, deep down, that you were hiding something, and thought that once both of your cards were out on the table, you could either work on fixing what’s been broken, or you could both gain some closure and move on with your lives.

seungcheol was desperately hoping for the first option.

either way, whatever plans seungcheol had made were quickly put on hold when he arrived at his meeting and only found your colleague, jeon wonwoo, waiting for him in the conference room. he’d made himself look like an idiot, bluntly asking about your whereabouts, disappointment clear on his face at your lack of presence, which only got him an inscrutable look from wonwoo (who made a mental note to check in with you about this little outburst, for safety reasons). wonwoo hadn’t mentioned anything about you throughout the interview, which in retrospect, seungcheol realized, was more than normal, considering wonwoo probably had no idea that the two of you even dated before. if anyone at your firm would’ve known about your previous relationship, he imagines you wouldn’t even be here, working on this case. conflict of interest and all.

in the end, seungcheol had no idea whether you were even at PLEDIS at all, and didn’t even have time to ask around for you, having a number of recording sessions planned for the rest of the morning. it wasn’t until jeonghan called and invited him out for lunch with him and joshua, that seungcheol left his studio again. when his friends greeted him outside the restaurant they decided on, they held back from commenting on his sulky expression.

seungcheol didn’t tell them that he had half a mind to turn down their invitation when he heard where the couple wanted to meet. IL GRATO was your favorite place in town (you used to say because it was where seungcheol had taken you on your first date), and the restaurant held plenty of the many happy memories you and seungcheol had made over the years. obviously, seungcheol wasn’t particularly keen on revisiting them today, but he didn’t want to seem more pathetic than he already felt, so he shut up and pretended everything was fine.

that didn’t last long, evidently.

“why don’t you just call her? she’s obligated to answer, now that she’s working on jihoon’s situation, right? ask to schedule a meeting with her or something,” jeonghan said, sipping on his glass of prosecco.

“and what reason could i give her for a meeting? that jeon dude already asked me anything he could about jihoon, so i can’t use anything about the case,” seungcheol mumbled. “and saying i wanna discuss the clear unresolved feelings left between us is guaranteed to get her to hang up on me.”

joshua, who had been intently listening to seungcheol’s whines, suddenly perks up, grabbing seungcheol’s shoulder. “cheol, didn’t you mention jeon said he still had some interviews lined up after lunch time?”

seungcheol frowned. “yeah? what difference does it make?”

“well, dumbass, if Y/N was in fact at PLEDIS all this time, that means that she’s probably in one of the conference rooms on the same floor as him. and since most staff clock out at 5 p.m., i’d say you still have about half an hour to go back, find her, and talk to her. like you said you wanted,” joshua explained pointedly, giving seungcheol a look that screamed you have to do it or else i will hurt you.

joshua was right. how could he have been so stupid, to completely overlook what wonwoo had mentioned off-handedly at the end of their meeting. he hadn’t even considered the possibility that you and wonwoo had split up to cover more ground in collecting testimonies, and now he was at risk of completely missing his chance to see you, unless he hauled ass to PLEDIS immediately.

seungcheol shot up from his seat, quickly gathering his things and throwing his credit card on the table, before dashing for the front door. “you guys are the best! lunch is on me!” he shouted, before taking off running.

jeonghan and joshua look at each other, before bursting into giggles. jeonghan sighs, “i need them to resolve this issue before the wedding, really. i won’t be able to handle it if seungcheol mopes around during the whole ceremony.”

joshua cooed, rolling his eyes. “you simply can’t rush love, babe,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to his lover’s cheek.

jeonghan rolled his eyes, turning his attention to the spreadsheet full of wedding prep details laid out on the table. a mischievous glint gleamed in his eyes, as he turned to look at joshua. “so, my dear joshuji, how about lilies for the flower displays?”

“JEONGHAN, I SAID NO!”

nine months ago

when you and seungcheol arrived at IL GRATO, jeonghan and joshua were already inside, patiently waiting at the table they had booked for your party of four, wearing two oddly calm smiles on their faces.

to say you and seungcheol weren’t suspicious at all would be a lie.

jeonghan had called earlier that week to invite the two of you on a double date that weekend – which wasn’t unusual, since the four of you had been going on dates like these since forever – but what had put you and seungcheol on edge was the ‘news’ jeonghan mentioned he and joshua had to share.

you and seungcheol had been going through a rough patch in the past two weeks, and this fact wasn’t unknown to your group of friends. the two of you were not the type to air out your dirty laundry, so for your friends to notice the growing tension between you meant that things were truly going badly. even though neither you or seungcheol had verbalized this to each other, you were both worried that tonight’s double date was just a cover up for an intervention, aimed to make you and seungcheol work through whatever it was bothering you two. jeonghan and joshua were seungcheol’s oldest and closest friends, and they never shied away from confronting seungcheol (and you, after you were welcomed into their friend group), especially when it came to his well-being, both physical and mental. you had been preparing your defense all week, just in case they decided to bring the situation up (and you also realized how desperately you needed a break from work).

after settling in and exchanging common pleasantries about your lives and work, the four of you put in your orders (jeonghan ordering the most expensive bottle of champagne on the menu, much to yours and seungcheol’s surprise), and after the waiter brought the drinks along, you decided to bite the bullet and ask the question that had been bothering you all week.

“so, you two said you had some news to share, right?”

jeonghan and joshua exchange a secretive look, and you only just notice the blush that seems to grace their faces. they looked like teenagers in love. you couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of envy.

“i guess there’s no reason to beat around the bush…” joshua said, looking again towards jeonghan.

“we’re getting married!” the other continues, leaning back into his seat to throw an arm around joshua, grinning from ear to ear.

silence falls over the table, as you and seungcheol drink in jeonghan’s revelation. you jump out of your seat, genuine excitement and joy overtaking you, as you walk around the table to hug and congratulate the two men. a string of high-pitched ‘oh my gods’ leave your lips, gaining the attention of a few other restaurant patrons, but you honestly couldn’t care less, too happy for your dear friends to pay attention to them.

as you make your way back to your seat, holding tightly onto joshua’s hand, you notice that seungcheol was eerily quiet, silently watching his friends, his eyes wide and unblinking. you lay a hand onto his arm, squeezing. “cheol… aren’t you going to say something?” you whisper.

that seems to snap him out of his daze, a gasp escaping him, before his hands come up to cover his face. you, joshua, and jeonghan exchange a concerned look, completely blindsided by seungcheol’s unexpected reaction, since he was as one of jeonghan and joshua’s loudest supporters (he had been betting on the two of them getting together since they were teenagers). but before either of you can say something else, seungcheol looks up, unshed tears swimming along his lash line.

“i’m sorry, i just…” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words. “i just can’t… believe… that neither of you told me! you traitors! you were planning to get engaged and i just find out at the same time as everyone else?” seungcheol pouts, his dramatics leaving the rest of you in tears.

“hey! what is that supposed to mean?” you tease, trying to calm your laughter down.

“no offense, baby, but me and the boys? we have history,” seungcheol winks, before turning back to his friends. “which means i should have priority to all life-changing news in your lives!”

the table falls into laughter once again, before jeonghan and joshua proceed to give you and seungcheol all the details he was claiming they had been keeping away from him. the rest of the evening goes like this, drinks and food shared around, and you almost forget about whatever problems your own relationship has been having, too busy reveling in the love radiating from the couple in front of you.

that night, on the drive home, you and seungcheol fall into comfortable silence, a first in the past weeks. you don’t know if it’s the buzz from the alcohol you drank, or the crooning voice of whatever singer was playing on the radio, but you can’t help but look over to seungcheol’s side, your eyes glancing over the side of his face. he was so handsome, cheeks blushed and hair messy from tonight’s laughter. you wanted to lean over and run the tips of your fingers over the edges of his face, pour everything you couldn’t say into just one touch. please forgive me, just trust me…

“what’s the staring for?” seungcheol speaks, and you whip your head around, looking out the window on your side.

“ah, i wasn’t staring!” you mumble, feeling your face grow hot. “was just thinking… about tonight.”

he smiles, briefly glancing your way. “me too,” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

a beat passes before seungcheol speaks up again. “when we get married, what would you want our wedding to be like?”

your heart swells when you realize he said ‘when’ instead of ‘if,’ but you can’t help but tease him a little bit. “‘when?’ i haven’t even said ‘yes’ yet, cheollie,” you smirk, turning your face towards him again.

evidently, seungcheol catches onto your little joke, but he plays into it. “emphasis on ‘yet’, baby. now answer the question!”

“okay, okay,” you chuckle. “well, i think i’d like something small… just our closest family and friends… maybe somewhere outside the city, like in the countryside, something like that,” you say decidedly, already daydreaming about all the possibilities.

“what about the beach? i think a beach wedding would be so cool… do you think your mom would let us have it at her beach house?” seungcheol says, an excited glimmer evident in his eyes.

he completely misses how your face falls at the mention of your mother, but you quickly mask it by nonchalantly agreeing with him. “i don’t see why not, she would probably love that…”

the rest of the drive goes by fast, the two of you bantering over silly wedding things like flowers, color palettes, and music selection (obviously), before you finally arrive home. inside, you both move lazily, drunk on love – or the leftover champagne in your systems – slowly undressing, stealing kisses, exchanging giggles and tantalizing looks… for the first time in weeks, you feel a sense of peace cover you, a quiet voice in the back of your mind assuring you that everything was going to be alright, and you embrace the feeling, falling into seungcheol as he whispers sweet nothings into your ears.

just as you’re about to fall into bed, your phone starts ringing from the floor of the bedroom, and at first you ignore it, too caught up in the feeling of seungcheol’s mouth against you, but the noise is insistent, and cheol detaches from you with a groan, urging you to see who’s bothering you in the middle of the night.

seungcheol can’t see the name on your screen, but when you tell him it’s your mom, he motions for you to take the call – she wouldn’t call this late unless there was an emergency, after all – but much to his surprise, you shuffle to find a shirt to put on, before you leave the room to take the call. from the bedroom, he can only hear muffled snippets of your conversation, and the tone of your voice is too ambiguous for him to guess how the talk is going.

when you come back, he doesn’t bring up the fact that you’d never gone to another room to take a call before. ever.

as soon as the clock on the wall reads 5 p.m., you bring the final interview you had scheduled for the day to an end, and as you say your goodbyes to the woman from the marketing department, wonwoo walks into the conference room, struggling to balance a stack of papers in his hands. you rush towards him, picking up part of the papers.

“woah, are these all the testimonies from your part of the staff?” you question, marveling at the size of the stack wonwoo brought in.

“yeah, crazy, isn’t it? i still can’t believe so many people came forward for this guy,” wonwoo replies, setting down his shoulder bag on the table. his shoulders seem tense, a whole day sitting at a desk clearly taking a toll on him.

“well, he’s clearly appreciated. everyone who i talked with only had good things to say about him,” you say nonchalantly, flicking through the papers, trying to pretend like you weren’t already aware of jihoon’s stellar reputation. each piece of paper seemed to be a reformulation of what the previous person mentioned, everybody mentioning similar qualities and compliments regarding him.

after you and wonwoo go over the information you both collected today, making a game plan for the next steps that needed to be taken, you both gather your things to finally go home for the day, exhaustion setting in. although the day hadn’t been particularly stressful, the possibility of bumping into seungcheol had caused you much more anxiety than usual, and you honestly couldn’t wait to get out of here and finally be able to breathe normally.

as you wait for the elevator – which seems to be taking its sweet time, moving in slow motion to the seventh floor – you hear wonwoo mumble under his breath, before he lets out an “oh, fucking hell.” ever the proper gentleman, he catches himself, and swiftly apologizes for his choice of words.

you chuckle, waving your hand to dismiss his unnecessary apology. “what’s wrong?”

“i’m missing some documents… i think i left them in the room i was in this morning, i’ll go after them. you go ahead and get going, i don’t want to hold you back any longer,” he explains, already turning around to head for the conference room.

“are you sure? i don’t mind wa–”

“i’m sure! go, you deserve to rest,” he shouts, disappearing around the corner of the hallway.

you sigh, shaking your head, but appreciating the gesture nevertheless. the elevator bell dings, and the doors open to reveal an empty cabin. you breathe out a sigh of relief, thankful for the silence. you press the button for the ground floor, and close your eyes, leaning against the back wall of the elevator, hoping to ease the sting that came from staring into a computer screen for a whole day.

your peace and quiet is short-lived however, as the elevator only manages to go down to the sixth floor before stopping again. you sigh, preparing yourself for the onslaught of tired employees who were most likely rushing to get home as well. however, when you open your eyes, there’s only one other pair staring into yours, and you feel all the air inside your lungs dissipating, leaving you breathless.

seungcheol is standing in front of you, wearing an equally speechless look on his face. the two of you stare at each other, almost as if you’re scared to move, in fear of disrupting the karmic force that brought this moment upon you even more. you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole, feeling completely unprepared for this situation. you’d thought you were finally out of the woods, that you’d be able to go home in peace and not think about the case, about cheol, about anything anymore, at least for tonight.

clearly, the universe had other plans for you.

seungcheol seems to snap out of his daze when the doors of the elevator start to close again, his arm shooting out to stop them and finally stepping inside. as the doors close behind him and the elevator resumes its course downwards, you suddenly feel like the cabin is ten times smaller than it was a few moments ago, your body instinctively moving to one of the corners of the elevator. seungcheol naturally takes over the corner opposite from you, and you can feel his eyes on you with every step he takes.

you can’t fucking breathe, and you can’t believe he still has such a hold over your body.

“hi.”

you both say it at the same time, and under different circumstances, the two of you might’ve erupted in giggles at the coincidence. in this moment, however, the tension between you is so palpable, it’s almost constricting.

“how’s jihoon’s case going?” seungcheol asks, and you feel almost grateful for him taking the initiative to fill the silence.

“it’s good, yeah. we had a productive day, gathered a lot of info,” you say, clearing your throat. why were you being so goddamn awkward?

seungcheol nods, humming, silence filling the space once again. you dared to sneak a glance in his direction, noticing his furrowed brows and pursed mouth. four months could not erase everything you learned about cheol in four years, and you immediately recognized his ‘i’m trying to find the right words’ look. you sigh, knowing exactly what’s inevitably coming, so you decide to put seungcheol out of his misery.

“seungcheol,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. your eyes meet in the quiet of the elevator. “just ask me. just ask me what’s bothering you. at this point, should we even beat around the bush with each other anymore?”

seungcheol opens his mouth, then decides against it. he shakes his head, sighing, before looking back at you. “i’m not ready to let go yet,” he murmurs.

your voice trembles as you try to keep your tears at bay. “cheol… why are you doing this? i mean, why are you doing this to yourself?! things haven’t been working out between us for months, and i– i was terrible to you! you should let me go, why can’t you just… leave me alone?”

seungcheol’s eyes widen, an almost crazed glint appearing behind them. “leave– leave you alone? are you fucking kidding me?” his voice rises in volume, as he takes a few steps closer. “i can’t leave you alone, because i gave you four years of my fucking life, yeah? and in those years i learned all there is to know about you. unless everything you’ve ever told me was just an act, i’ve learned how to tell when you’re lying, and i’ve learned how to tell when you’re struggling, and you know what? you’re doing both right now!”

your hands start shaking, frustration bubbling inside your chest. “i don’t need you looking out for me, alright? i can take care of myself! and i’m fine, for your information!”

“bullshit! you’re not fine, and you know why? because for three years, everything was perfectly fine with us, and then all of a sudden last year, something happened, yeah? i don’t know what exactly, because you won’t fucking tell me, but something happened that made you squeamish around me, distant, paranoid, and– and careless! you stopped caring about me, about us!”

“i didn’t stop caring!” you croaked, your throat raw from holding back your tears. seungcheol’s eyes softened slightly at the sight of your tears finally let loose on your cheeks. “i just… i…”

seungcheol closes the last of the distance between you, standing right in front of you now. “Y/N… baby… if you’re in some sort of trouble, please… just tell me. there’s nothing you could say that could scare me or drive me away. i know you can take care of yourself, but you don’t have to! please, just… no more lies, please…”

your eyes meet his, the sincerity and love swimming in them bringing even more tears to your eyes. you could just tell him right now, let everything that’s been weighing down on you for the past year spill out all at once… but you can’t. you would never forgive yourself to come in between seungcheol and his work, his dreams… your burdens couldn’t be his burdens. you just can’t allow it.

“cheol… i ca–”

“okay, i need you to take five steps away from her, or i will physically remove you, hyung. no matter that you are older and stronger than me,” comes a voice from your right. in your fight-induced stupor, neither you nor seungcheol had realized that the elevator had reached the ground floor, the doors opening to reveal one of your favorite people on earth.

thank god for boo seungkwan.

#📁 lexie.works #🌙 midnights #choi seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #svt au

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sammysbrokenheart · 1 month ago

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Perfect...

Summary: Iand if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about then Billie I'm perfect. (this is written in first person from your point of view)

Trigger warnings: grief, loss, alcoholism and depression.

~~~~~

The room was loud.

Everything was suddenly very overwhelming the more shots I drank. The alcohol drowned out the sound for a while, but suddenly everything came crashing back.

I ordered another drink and looked down at my black dress, these were my funeral clothes. A wave of guilt crashed over me, I mean who goes to drink after her mother and siblings funeral?

That was the night that I met her. Piercing blue eyes and black hair. I never intended on meeting one of the most famous people on earth that night. I never intended on buying her a drink, dancing with her or kissing her in her car at stop lights.

We stayed in touch and that became a routine for us that first week. She'd pick me up at midnight and we'd go for a drive. I would roll down the windows to feel the cool air hit my face. She would talk to me about everything. Her job, her brother, her best friend just everything.

Whenever we came to a stop I would kiss her. I wondered if she could taste the alcohol on my lips. If I'm being honest with you and myself, I don't remember being sober at all.

~~~~~

The next week she tried to see me multiple times. I realized at some point I had to go back to work otherwise I'll be behind on rent so that was a perfect excuse to not see her at all.

"I'm sorry Billie I'm busy."

"I'm sorry Bills I have a lot of work to catch up on maybe another day."

Whenever she would FaceTime me I could see her heart break whenever I gave whatever excuse to not see her.

On Saturday of that week I was throwing my same old pity party. My surroundings looked so messy and pathetic. Then suddenly there was a knock at my door. I thought it was my pizza so I didn't think twice when I opened the door.

Instead of a normal delivery person there stood Billie with my pizza with a hoodie and sunglasses.

She pushed past me and into my house. I could feel her scanning her surroundings, shame bubbled in my chest.

"I don't know why you're avoiding me, but this cold shoulder is going to stop now," she said while placing the pizza down on my couch.

For the first time in a week I was sober in her presence and I felt the true weight of her comfort. I broke right then and there in her arms.

" Shhh baby I got you talk to me Y/N. "

~~~~~

We never spoke, I never told her about the accident and about my mom and siblings dying on impact. I never told her that I was the one driving, I never told her that my father cut me off because he blames me for everything. I never told her any of that. We just had sex.

~~~~~

Being with her was amazing. I can't recall the last time I was happy like this. When I am with Billie I can pretend to be the girl I wish I was. She helped me clean up house, she never asked or pushed me for more information. We never argued until now.

"I want you to come with me Y/N," Billie persisted. She just told me about this big family dinner that was coming up and I declined.

"Billie... It's just too soon," I said turning to her.

She was already on her side looking at me. The outline of her body was distracting me from this very important conversation.

I need a drink.

"We've been together for what a month already? More than that I think now is about the right time," Billie said. Her eyes were pleading me to say yes and I could feel a pull in my chest. Alarm bells went off in my head and all I wanted was to bolt out of this hotel room.

"Billie, I just don't feel ready don't force me," I said getting up from bed.

"Wait Y/N I'm sorry, wait stop," she wrapped her arms around me. I wiggled out of her arms and quickly got dressed.

"Where are you going?" she said.

I turn around and place my phone in her hands, my silent promise that I'll come back.

"I just need some air..."

~~~~~

The fighting became frequent. Nothing that I did seemed to be good enough and no amount of sex could take away the problems that were unfolding.

"You never talk to me! I don't know anything about you do I!?"

That was the last thing she said to me before she left. I knew she wanted me to chase after her and I would've but I thought to myself that this was for the best. She didn't need my bullshit life or my trouble.

This is what she deserves, a life free from me. I could feel the loss of her presence. I never truly let her in. I wonder if things would've been different if I did let her in. If I told her about my hurt.

I went to sleep with a heavier heart than ever. The urge to drink wasn't there, but the urge to sleep was great right now.

~~~~~

A year went by after Billie and I broke up. Things were finally looking up and I am proud of myself. I started going to therapy and AA. Recently I got back behind a a steering wheel and I finally felt more in control of ny life.

I missed her, but she's doing amazing right now and I am so proud. Hit me hard and soft came out and I have been listening to it in bits and pieces througout my day.

With every song I felt a wave of anxiety. I am terrified. I knew it was coming I knew it was gonna be brutal.

After work i got into the car and connected my phone. The end of WILDFLOWER filled the car and I started to drive. My stomuch dropped. THE GREATEST was the song I was dreading.

It was beautiful and brutal.

I had to stop the car because I couldn't see through my tears. My sobs were drowned out by the song and when it ended I played it again and again.

#billie eilish fanfiction #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish x reader #bilie eilish #billie eilish x you #wlw fanfic #wlw post #fanfic #fanfiction #Spotify

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6okuto · 2 years ago

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ACCIDENTALLY MAKING THEM CRY

gn!reader | sugawara, atsumu

warnings: reader gets angry + frustrated, swearing, a bit ooc. oops. don't think about it

note: reminder to communicate w the people around u always + my reqs r open again ^___^ meow!

SUGAWARA

life’s been hard lately. your work’s piling up, and it’s stressing you out so you avoid it, landing you in a seemingly endless cycle of unproductive worry. it’s to the point that you’re getting more easily agitated, and you’ve been trying to avoid making anyone victim to your sour mood.

but suga’s taken notice—of course he has, considering he hasn't seen you in 6 hours. and he refuses to let it deter him from taking care of you, even after reading your text that says “i’m gonna be working so please don’t come in !! thank u.” he gets some of your favourite snacks along with some sliced fruit and water, and heads to your desk.

you tense up at the knock on your door, but take a deep breath before saying he can come in. “hey. i know you said you’d be working, but i thought i’d bring you some food at least.”

knowing he means well, you thank him quietly and expect him to leave after. but he lingers beside you. “you doing okay?”

“yeah, i’m fine,” you answer quickly, already feeling that unwarranted annoyance you’ve been trying to stop. “you sure? i know you have a lot to do, and i don’t want you to overwork yourself.”

“yes, i’m fine, koshi.” you try to breathe and unclench your jaw. your boyfriend frowns and takes your response as exhaustion rather than annoyance, and tries again. “okay, just…know that it’s good to take breaks or ask for help, it'll be okay. i haven't seen you all day, you know?”

“can you stop?” your voice is cold enough to make him freeze, and something caves in his chest. “this isn’t—it isn’t okay.”

“okay, okay, hey, i'm sorry. i just,” he starts slowly, frowning. “i wanted you to know it’ll get better eventually.”

“okay, well, when you say that every time i’m upset it kind of loses its effect. i know it’s going to get better, but not right now with you here, so i’d appreciate it if you could just leave me alone,” you finally snap.

koshi stares at you in silence, breaking it after a few seconds to call your name as his voice wavers a little. "i know you didn't mean to talk to me like that."

"you don't know that." with your back still to him you repeat yourself with a huff, “seriously, koshi, just leave. you aren’t helping, i’m just…fucking annoyed. i don't want you here.”

“i...okay.” suga’s voice comes out softer than he intended, and he clears his throat. “okay, i’m sorry.” you glance over at the sound of him sniffling, and watch as he scratches the corner of his eye while making his way to the door. it twists something your gut, and an ugly, guilty feeling overwhelms you.

you sit with it, wishing it would swallow you whole. but after a few minutes pass you finally stand up to go find your boyfriend. it doesn’t take long—he’s sitting on the couch with a throw blanket, scrolling on his phone. suga looks up at the sound of your footsteps and quickly looks back down, but not before you see his teary eyes accompanied by a red nose.

“koshi?” he doesn't respond, but you know he's listening. “i’m…i’m sorry.” you want to continue, but wait for some kind of reaction. “that was mean of you,” he says plainly.

you frown. “i know, i'm sorry, i—” taking a breath, you step toward him. “i shouldn’t have lashed out at you. i’m sorry. i get angry when i’m stressed which is why i was trying to stay alone. i didn’t want to hurt you, and i did anyways when you were just trying to help.”

“and i’m not trying to make an excuse, i'm in the wrong. i know it’s a problem and i’m really, really trying to work on it, i promise. but i’m sorry i hurt you today. you didn't—you'd never deserve that."

you're met once again with silence, but don't let it bother you. you continue, "you don't have to accept my apology, of course, but i wanted you to know. and if you need time alone, i can go to the library for the day."

koshi turns off his phone (he hadn't even been scrolling while you spoke) and gets up slowly, finally looking at you. "thank you. i'm sorry, too, for what it's worth. and i accept your apology." he smiles genuinely this time, though it's small. "and i already know how you can make me feel better."

he looks at you with determination, and you're almost expecting him to ask for something embarrassing. but all he does is walk over and reach for you, pulling you into a gentle hug. "finally take a break with me?"

ATSUMU

whenever one of you is more busy than the other, it can be expected the busy person is atsumu. you face it with love—picking up on a couple of chores, messaging him throughout the day, getting his favourite foods for the evenings you have together.

so when it’s your turn to be busy, atsumu sees it as an opportunity to repay your love ten-fold.

and he manages it well for the most part! he does the laundry and cleans up around your desk. he even picks out some outfits for you to choose from tomorrow, writing a sticky note that says "i have good taste right?? don't forget the necklace!!!"

it’s when he’s faced with cooking one of your favourite meals—the one from your childhood he knows you haven’t had in ages—that he starts struggling. he texts his brother and opens a website on his phone, but at some point while he’s working on something else, the food on the stove starts to burn. enough to get the smoke alarm going—all right before you come home.

and coming home from a day full of inconveniences, shitty people, and stress, to a house that smells like smoke isn’t the welcome you expected or needed. your heartbeat quickens as you rush to the kitchen where you see your boyfriend frantically putting out a fire. “‘tsumu? what the hell?”

atsumu panics even more at your voice. and as he turns to face you, his arm hits his ingredients onto the floor. “fuck—hi, baby. sorry, i, uh—” “atsumu, jesus christ—”

working together, you both manage to take out the fire and turn off the alarm. the kitchen’s a wreck to witness at the end. all that’s left is standing in silence at the mess on the floor and counter.

you don’t know whether you want to cry or yell at the sight, completely overwhelmed by everything that’s been happening. “what were you doing?” you ask breathily. atsumu nervously laughs and hesitates, “i…uh, was trying to cook dinner for you.”

“well that really turned out well,” you say sarcastically. he winces both at your tone and the way your hands drag over your face. “why would you—are you—oh my god. seriously, atsumu, i can’t handle this right now.”

“i’m sorry, baby—” “we just put out a fire, atsumu!” your volume raises to a near-yell. “what if something happened and it spread, or you hurt yourself, or something worse? why weren’t you paying attention to the stove? and now we’ll have to clean this up and get new shit, and,” you stop to close your eyes and finally let yourself breathe. you mutter a curse and try to regain any semblance of composure.

but your eyes shoot open at the sound of a quiet sniffle beside you. there’s a beat of silence while you process it. you soften your voice to call him, “‘tsumu?”

atsumu sniffles again and blinks quickly, trying to force back the tears in his eyes. it doesn’t work, and your heart breaks when he pulls the sleeve of his sweater to wipe them away. “i just wanted to make your favourite to surprise you. i know you’ve been working hard lately, ‘nd i wanted to do what you always do for me and,” he laughs at himself self-deprecatingly, “i fucked up really bad this time, huh? i’m sorry. i’ll clean it all up. you should go rest.”

he moves quickly to start stacking up the bowls and utensils, but his movements feel heavy, and his hands seem to shake whenever he reaches for something near you. you stand and watch, and he says nothing.

“‘tsumu.” you reach for his hands to stop him, and he looks at you for the first time since you came in. “hey, i’m sorry. i’m sorry, i was being mean.”

your boyfriend pouts at you, lips wavering, but he continues to say nothing, and you’re prompted to continue. “i had a bad day and i took it out on you. i was just…i was stressed and worried. i shouldn’t have yelled the way i did. i really appreciate you trying to cook for me, and taking care of things while i’m out. i know it isn't easy. i’m so sorry, ‘tsum,” you apologize again.

atsumu gets his hands out of your grasp so he can wipe his face one more time. you give him a minute to he offers you a smile. “it’s okay. thank you for, uh, apologizing. and i’m sorry i almost set our kitchen on fire, i knew i shoulda kept ‘samu on the phone.” you snort and he laughs, the sound lifting your mood exponentially.

you open your arms out for a hug which atsumu accepts happily, the both of you holding the other tightly. “we can always try again later together. i’m sure with the both of us we can handle one dish,” you promise.

your fingers run through his hair and he relaxes, nodding in agreement. his breath is warm against the crook of your neck when he asks, “d’you think we could just order takeout tonight, then?”

🏷️| @devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @ksyhmm @idontlikeyourjob @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @dimslover @kuroaka @sunaslay @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @the-b-u-n-n-y @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @kellesvt

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #sugawara x reader #atsumu x reader #sugawara koshi #miya atsumu #x reader

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autistichalsin · 1 year ago

Note

Okay, I’ve been a bit scared because I’ve been observing from the sidelines, but I do want you to know this isn’t a hateful or troll ask, I’m genuinely asking for clarification.

In my experience, “pro-shipping” has always meant ‘problematic shipping’, and all of the people I’ve talked to about this have said the same thing.

Am I the one who’s misconstrued? I really don’t get it.

Being called “pro-harassment” or “pro-censorship” is hurtful and confusing as all hell.

I don’t harass people for what they create. I don’t care to do that. I block and move on, and warn people if I know they could be upset by the content.

But I also don’t understand how certain things are justified.

I am personally not bothered by much, but I have watched friends and acquaintances go through visceral traumatic reactions because people have decided to air out their coping by sharing it with the public. (I.E, people who write romantic incestual fics, etc)

I don’t give a shit what people write. I really don’t. But it feels harmful to use the excuse of coping when you, in turn, could be hurting dozens of others.

Like I said, I genuinely am not trying to be hateful here. I’m confused, and still distraught that all of this is happening. I don’t think anyone deserves to be harassed. I just also don’t get the logic here.

Pro-shipping never once meant problematic shipping. It meant opposite of "anti" because antis would come and invade the tags and asks, calling them all kinds of names if they found their ships distasteful.

Sorry that being indirectly accused of supporting harassment hurt your feelings. Imagine how I felt, being DIRECTLY accused of supporting rape in real life because of my taste in fiction. You are throwing in your lot with people who can't distinguish fantasy and reality.

I don't like incest fics either, anon. They are triggering for me. So you know what I do? I don't read fics tagged as incest. For that reason, I have never been triggered by an incest fic. I suppose I would be if I read an incest fic that wasn't tagged as much, but you will never find a single pro-shipper who defends posting such content without a tag. You are responsible for your own experience online; it is your job to curate the content.

If it was just seeing that the fic exists that triggered the response, then I'm sorry to say they're still in the wrong. As a survivor, learning that triggers exist and how to navigate those triggers is on you. We are responsible for how we deal with our trauma. Your friends didn't deserve their traumas, and they deserve kindness and support, but requesting that people never be allowed to write distasteful fiction so that they don't have to be upset by the idea that someone somewhere shipped incest is not reasonable. Their feelings are valid; it's totally reasonable to be triggered, to strictly curate your online experience. It's reasonable to block everyone who ships the upsetting incest ships, to put an "incest shippers DNI" on your page, all of it. It's not reasonable to call them supporters of IRL incest or to accuse them of causing your trauma. It isn't hard at all on AO3 or Tumblr; they even give you the option to blacklist/filter out certain tags so you can avoid it without blocking users. There's easily half a dozen safeguards that already exist that are a lot less radical, a lot less likely to be weaponized against queer users, and a lot easier to enforce than trying to remove them.

Me writing fics, such as a character using kink to cope, can only harm a user who doesn't curate their feed (and who reads fics they know will trigger them, which I can only assume would then be a purposeful form of self-harm). Denying other survivors their coping mechanism, though, IS a direct form of harm. Stigmatizing recovery by saying that survivors are in any way akin to abusers for creating fiction is a direct form of harm.

It sounds to me like you've absorbed some very harmful and very narrow ideas of what recovery should and should not look like, and what is and isn't a good/valid survivor. You might want to reflect on why you're turning your attention to policing what survivors do to cope so much.

#proship #proshipper #discourse

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silent-shanin · 1 year ago

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My Love For You Is Like A Balloon; You Deserve To Float

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses/Three Hopes (Modern au) Ship: Marianne/Hilda Rating: sfw (Also on Ao3)

"Come on, Mari...anne." She added the last part because you're not 'Mari' to her anymore. You're 'Marianne' now. Some distant habit that she's trying to stomp out, just like how you stomped on her heart after breaking up with her. "I just want to talk."

"I don't," you lie. You do. You do. You do. You've been wondering how she's been doing these past three months. You would like nothing more than to talk. To make up, make out, make love, and have everything be alright again. To have her in your arms and hug her so tightly, your chests mush together and her body heat finally warms up your cold hands and cold heart.

The only thing you can do is not talk lest your brain spills out of your mouth and your ugly feelings lay bare for Hilda to see. So you don't.

She's done waiting and throws up her hands. "Ugh, stop being stubborn. You never wanted to talk and only ever listened. Do you know how annoying that always was?" She loved how you were the listener. She preferred you that way because she was the talker, the chatterbox. You are━ were perfect for each other like that.

"I guess we just don't work together." Another lie. How many more do you need to commit before the Goddess will smite you and take you out of this situation.

Silence. Something you haven't heard a lot in your two year relationship with Hilda. And then she sighs again.

"... I guess we don't."

And that hurt more than not seeing her for three lonely months. Now she's the one lying. Right?

"Don't look at me like that, Marianne. What do you want me to do?" Chase you to the ends of the world. "You're the one who broke up with me." You didn't mean it. "Don't give me that kicked-puppy look." You can't help it.

"Then," you say, because you need to talk to keep the tears at bay. Change the subject. "What did you want from me?"

The sound of Hilda's jacket indicates a shrug. "Nothing, I guess. Nothing anymore anyways." You must've looked confused as Hilda starts to explain. "I just wanted to talk. Ask you how you've been. You straight up ghosted me after you━ after we broke up." She still holds it against you.

Should you tell her? How it's been hell. How you've finally managed to sleep one night without crying. How you want nothing more than to━ No. You don't deserve that. Not after breaking Hilda's heart and running away like some coward. You wonder if she can see it by the bags under your eyes, though those have always been there.

"And... I guess I wanted to ask why."

Why what?

"Why you dumped me. Did you really fall out of love? Was it something I said or did? I'm not asking you to take me back, but an explanation would be nice."

It wasn't any of those reasons. It wasn't Hilda. Or, well... it was in a way. It was her radiance, her happiness, her everything that you didn't━ couldn't taint. You saw how she struggled with your anxiety, with your panic attacks and your depressive episodes. She didn't understand. She couldn't understand a monster like you. You couldn't keep pulling her down with you, so instead you let her go. Like a balloon, she had to soar and go her own way.

"I'm sorry," is instead the only thing falling out of your mouth.

She waits for more, but nothing comes out. You don't want to cry again.

"Marianne... I'm trying. I really am, but sometimes you're just impossible. I wanted to be there for you, I still do but━" You think you hear a quiver in her voice, though you're not sure. You haven't been able to look at Hilda this whole time. You know you'll fall again if you do.

Always weak to her tears, fake or not, you never could say no to her.

"I don't know what you're thinking if you don't talk." And yet the fact that she's here makes you realize she suspects the true reason of your avoidance. "Tell me. Please?"

"I don't... want this." Is your weak excuse.

"Want what? Me?"

You shake your head and gesture at yourself.

"Oh, Mari..." There's that quiver again. She takes one step forward, hand grasping at nothing, right into your vision. You forgot how small she actually was. Her eyes meet yours by accident and...

There they are. And there you go. Falling for her as gently as the first time, as steadily as her tears. And soon your face matches hers.

Hilda has never been a pretty crier, not when she's actually hurt. Her face scrunches up, her eyes become red, and her throat closes up so much she can't even speak. You've seen it once, when Holst ended up in the infirmary for eating bad mushrooms. You were there with her, you were the one to catch her and drive her to the hospital. You were the one who she could lean on, because she allowed herself to lean.

And yet you still think she's the most radiant woman in your life.

"Ma-Marianne..." she croaks. "... Can I hug you?"

Without a thought you open your arms and she falls in them immediately. You hate that she's your puzzle piece. Fit together snugly, both physically and mentally.

You were made for each other.

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xb0rder-7inex · 7 months ago

Text

TW : DV

I'm going to make a pinned post to explain again why I'm not nice to people who throw out words like "you shouldn't this" and "you should that"

Like, I'm sorry, I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, but please stfu.

I don't have the brain capacity to think about this right now but until you've been in an abusive relationship, do not ask someone why they won't leave. Don't tell me that I deserve better. Don't say anything along the lines of anything remotely similar to that. I understand that you're trying to be sympathetic and supportive, but it's actually really insensitive and triggering.

There is very much a reason why there has to be a safety plan in place and it literally takes 7-10 attempts at leaving before it's ever a success. And because it can take so long (years), some people will just stop trying.

I am not in any kind of place at all to be ready to leave and that probably means that I don't really want to and it's not because I'm trauma bonded it's because I have already lost everything I had in the midst of all this chaos and I do not have the mental or emotional capacity right now to try. I have always intended on returning to this relationship and everything needs to be done in baby steps. My first goal is just getting out of this shelter and into some kind of place that's mine and we will go from there.

There are men out there who are far more abusive than my boyfriend and in a lot of ways I'm very fortunate that he isn't worse. He isn't violent. He doesn't threaten to kill me. But he does control me in subtle ways. He does emotionally manipulate me. He does hurt me. And I hope it never gets farther than that but the truth is that you truly never fucking know. It took him five months to hit me the first time. Who's to say the next thing he does won't take five years? I hate to even say that out loud but if I'm being logical he probably will not ever change. Sometimes my biggest fear is that things will get worse and I can literally only pray that it stays the same. I can be hopeful about something better, because there's always a possibility, but enjoying the highs while they last is something I've had to accept to avoid losing myself all over again. My BPD is in remission, I'm no longer sick, and I will not let him break me. For two and a half years I struggled bad with my mental health and it made me vulnerable to literally everyone and everything and I didn't care about the savagery of any of it. Being in this relationship is partially my fault. I knew who he was when we started dating. It didn't matter. I loved being his little victim, at least I was his. The borderline part of me fucking relished in it, as long as it was me and only me for him (he used to say, "you're mine and only mine"), I let him do whatever he wanted and I romanticized everything toxic.

That being said, abuse and love can and do coexist (sometimes love can manifest in negative ways) which sounds naive but is a realistic perspective and a lot of people don't understand that abusive relationships are not at all black and white. People as individuals are almost never inherently abusive. There is a very large gray-scale image and people are complex beings who may have one or several reasons for why they behave the way that they do. I won't exploit his privacy, but my boyfriend has very deep roots that tie him to being the way that he is. Not an excuse or a justification, but behaviour is learned and hurt people hurt people (Btw, having been going through extensive therapy for this whole thing, true narcissists and sociopaths are actually quite rare - most people just naturally have a wide range of toxic traits, ie: generational trauma). We still have a lot of really beautiful times together too and our ups are very typical and those are things that I'm likely going to post about as well. The whole point is to commemorate entire cycles and to study our patterns (yes, mine too). It's my own personal social experiment, if you will. And if he ever finds these posts it'll be a really long time of psychological hell. I don't even want to fucking know.

So, much like consoling a person during grief, there is nothing you can say. You do not and will not feel the weight of the gravity of any of it until it's on your shoulders. Everyone has a different healing journey and I'm just documenting mine. Not for an audience. For the future me, for several reasons (yin yang), and I'm sure that you can piece that together by yourself.

#actually borderline #bpd #being borderline #borderline problems #borderline things #bpd stuff #bpd problems #bpd fp #bpd vent #bpd relatable #t #tw : dv

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rubysunnday · 3 years ago

Text

stupid in love

request by anon: hey congrats for 2.6k followers, that's so cool!!! I don't know if i'm too late but can i request jesper from shadow and bone x reader with prompt 5? would love for it to be romantic :) congrats again and thank you if you decide to write it!! <3

A/N: is this romantic? no idea but I've been writing this for like a month and I'm beyond done with it so have whatever the fuck this is

warnings: six of crows stuff, blood, swearing, alludes to suicide throughout

"I threw myself out a window for you! What more do you want from me?"

Y/N almost punched him. Him throwing himself out the window was the entire reason she was annoyed at him. It had been terrifying and Y/N had thought Jesper was dead. But Jesper had taken it as another fable to tell the punters - hadn't realised how lucky he was. Y/N glowered at Jesper from across the bar as she poured him another shot.

"Maybe for you to actually pay for these shots?" Y/N asked, sliding the shot glass along the bar top to Jesper.

Jesper picked it up and downed it with one smooth movement. "Ah, it's fine, put it on my tab."

Y/N rolled her eyes but obliged, scribbling down the rapidly growing cost of Jesper's evening. He'd actually only had three shots - the rest had been spread around the entire club in celebration of something or other.

Their last job had been chaotic as usual. Jesper had thrown himself out a window, Kaz had almost gotten shot and they'd blown a few things up. But the image of Jesper falling through a window had stuck with Y/N all night.

The entire reason Y/N had ended up in the Dregs was because of her sister. Her sister, who had gone insane, and leapt off a roof, plummeting to her death in front of Y/N. Every time Y/N relived Jesper falling, she saw him in her sister's place. She saw his body instead of hers.

Which was why, Jesper making jokes about his window-smashing exploits wasn't appreciated at that moment.

"'ello, Y/N," Rotty said jogging up to the bar with a beaming smile, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Evening, Rotty," Y/N called, setting the cleaned glasses on the side. "What can I do for you?"

"Boss wants you," Rotty replied. He gestured over his shoulder at Jesper who was singing a rowdy sea shanty with an arm around a red-haired woman who looked like an actual mermaid. "And him."

"Have you told him?"

"I did."

"And?"

"He said 'in a moment'."

"Oh for -" Y/N bought her fingers to her lips and whistled. Loudly.

The entire bar fell silent and everyone turned to stare at her. She pointed at Jesper and then up at Kaz's office door.

"You, upstairs, now," Y/N demanded.

Jesper sighed, grumbling to himself as he slid off the redhead's lap and practically stomped after Y/N as she walked up the stairs.

She paused at the top and looked down at the still silent bar. "Carry on."

The chatter and sound of money being lost quickly restarted. Y/N shut the office door behind her, the noise from downstairs all but disappearing behind the thick, iron door.

Inej was, unsurprisingly, already there. She stood near to Kaz, her hands clasped behind her back with her hood up. As Y/N approached Kaz, he looked up at her and then at Jesper who'd flopped down in a plush armchair near the window.

"Is he drunk?"

"No," Y/N replied, sitting down in the chair Kaz had in front of his desk and crossing her legs. She fanned out her skirt and clasped her hands together in her lap. "He bought shots for everyone in the club but he's only had three."

"Good, I need him sober," Kaz replied. He gave Jesper a cursory glance over his shoulder. "Jesper, come here."

Jesper stood up and skulked over to the desk, leaning over Y/N's head to see what was on the desk. "Is that -"

"Yes."

"And are we -"

"Yes."

Y/N frowned and sat forward, looking at the plans laid out on Kaz's desk. She raised her eyebrows. "The Geldrenner Hotel? Really? What's there."

"You mean who is there," Kaz corrected. He handed Y/N a newspaper cut out featuring a grainy print of a member of the Merchant Council.

"Is that Van Halla?" Y/N asked, squinting at the print. "Isn't he meant to be in Os Alta?"

"He's on holiday and is staying at the Geldrenner with his wife and entourage or fifty," Kaz replied. "And whilst he is here, he's attending the extravagant birthday of Van Eck."

"Oh, I see where this is going," Y/N said, nodding. "I saw the Van Eck birthday present list - what did Halla get?"

"The Millenium Watch."

Three pairs of eyes looked at Kaz with surprise and shock.

"I'm sorry, you want us to steal the Millenium Watch?" Jesper asked, gaping. "One of the most expensive watches in history?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I need a new pocket watch," Kaz said with a shrug.

"And the real reason?" Inej asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I've made a deal with someone - in exchange for the Millenium Watch we get the plans to the Boeksplein."

"And what's there?"

"Need to know."

The three of them scoffed but weren't entirely surprised.

"Now, are you done interrogating me?" Kaz asked. "Because I would like to get on with the job."

'So, here's the plan.'

The hotel was ridiculous grand for the streets of Ketterdam. Granted, it did sit in the middle of the Financial District and was within view of the Stadwatch barracks to avoid any burglaries, heists or assassinations.

It was strictly reserved for the rich and wealthy and the majority of Ketterdam knew they would never be privileged enough to see inside the marbled walls.

And up until now, Y/N had thought herself one of those people.

'Jesper, Y/N, you two will go in disguised as staff. Inej will be on the roof and sneak in through the skylight.'

'And what about you, Kaz?"

"I, darling, Y/N, will be causing a distraction.'

"What do you mean there's no reservation for me?!"

Y/N looked up from the bin she was emptying. Kaz was standing at the front desk, dressed in a - quite frankly ridiculous - outfit, waving his arms around and swearing. A lot. Y/N glanced over at Jesper, a smile pulling on her lips. "I take it that that's the distraction," she whispered.

As Kaz continued to flap his arms like a bird, Y/N and Jesper headed over to the hand-operated elevator. The two of them nodded at the elevator operator.

"Seventh floor, please," Jesper said, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Oh, oh, wait, please!"

A woman, dressed in the ridiculous fashions of the wealthy, bustled into the elevator, dragging about eight different cases and hat boxes with her.

"You," she said, snapping her fingers at Jesper, "take these up to my room - number 754b." The woman turned to Y/N. "Be a dear and take these."

Before Y/N could protest, a black, leather briefcase was pushed into her arms as Jesper was pushed out the door. The elevator operator sighed and began working the elevator up to floor 7.

"I like your dress, ma'am," Y/N said, attempting to break the awkward elevator music.

"Oh, aren't you a dear!" The women cooed. "My husband - Van Halla - bought it for me."

Y/N almost dropped the briefcase.

'What floor is Van Halla staying on?'

'Seventh floor, room 54b, Inej. It's the penthouse and the only room with a skylight.'

'Which is how Inej is getting in. But how are we getting out?'

'Front door, Y/N. If this goes to plan, we'll walk out that hotel through the front door with the watch.'

'And if something goes wrong?'

'Well, then, Jesper, I guess you'd better get acquainted with Hellgate.'

The elevator trundled up to the seventh floor and Y/N traipsed after the woman - who was, apparently, Van Halla's wife - to the penthouse.

As Y/N stepped into the penthouse, one thing went through her mind.

Money does not buy you taste.

And that was coming from someone who lived in the Slat which was, to be fair, held up by sheer terror at what Kaz may do should it collapse.

"Just leave the bags in the bedroom, darling," the woman called, waving a hand to the right.

Y/N hovered awkwardly for a moment, trying to work out where exactly in the cavernous, garishly white and orange room she was pointing to. Eventually, Y/N spotted a double door - bright orange like the cushions on the sofa - and assumed that was the bedroom.

She opened the doors and almost dropped the bags.

The 'bedroom' was bigger than her room. In fact, it was probably bigger than her room, Jesper's room, Kaz's room and Inej's room combined.

"Damn," Y/N muttered, her eyes wide. "What it is to have money, huh?"

Y/N dumped the bags on the floor near the wardrobe and turned to go when a small, black velvet box sat on a table. She paused.

"Do you want me to unpack the bags, ma'am?" Y/N called, quietly approaching the table, trying to get a closer look at the engraved plaque on the top of the box.

"No, no, you're fine!"

Y/N stood in front of the table, her heart pounding. Happy birthday, Van Eck was engraved on the top of the box. Y/N reached into her pocket and pulled out an identical box.

'So, we switch the boxes?'

'Thanks to Jesper's hidden talent - no need to roll your eyes, Jesper - we have an exact replica of the watch. Minus a few details, obviously, drawings and sketches only give so much detail.'

'And if we get caught with the watch? Because either way, they'll know something's up.'

'Best not to get caught then, Y/N. However, if for whatever someone isn't at the rendevous, we'll plan something.'

'So reassuring, Kaz.'

'Oh, good, I'm glad, I was concerned I my tone wasn't coming across.'

Y/N glanced out into the main room of the penthouse and quickly switched the boxes, making sure the fake was in the exact same position as the original. She slipped the original into her pocket and stepped out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

"If that's all then, ma'am," Y/N said, bowing to the woman.

"Yes, yes, thank you," she said, nodding.

Y/N headed towards the front door when it swung open and a large man, with a red face and a huge moustache, stormed in.

"Excuse me, sir," Y/N said, pressing herself to the wall as he marched past.

The man barely looked at her - he just sniffed.

"Victoria! Why did you not wait for me?" He called.

"You were busy having a go at some man, darling," the woman - Victoria - replied. "Feel better for yelling?"

"Oh, wife, you know me too well."

Y/N quickly left the room before Van Halla started kissing his wife. They were only some things she could cope with.

With the watch secure in her pocket, Y/N made her way back down to the elevator. She spotted Jesper on her way - struggling with the numerous bags Van Halla had apparently abandoned.

Y/N whistled at him and gestured her head, tapping her wrist. Jesper dropped the bags - Y/N was certain she heard something smash - and jogged up to her side.

"You got it?"

"It was surprisingly easy," Y/N whispered as they headed to the elevator. "It was lying there."

The music in the elevator played joyfully as they rode down - Y/N was trying not to bop to the light plinking piano music.

'So, once we've got the watch. How do we get out?'

'No need to point between you and Jesper, Y/N, I knew who you meant. You two will go out the servant's entrance here and meet Inej and I where the carriages are stored.'

'And if things go to shit?'

'Luckily for you, Jesper, I have plans ranging from A all the way to T.'

'What happens if we get to S? Damn, Kaz, no need to glare at me like that, Saints. You could set me on fire!'

'Shut up, Y/N.'

"Never, boss.'

The servant's entrance was quiet and empty which was a blessing for Jesper and Y/N - especially since Y/N could feel the watch box beginning to metaphorically burn a hole in her coat.

A guard was sat in the chair by the door, intently reading a book. He looked up as they approached and smiled.

"Ah, hello!" He said, standing up. "Right, let's do this quickly, shall we? I'm at a good point in my book. So, you know and I know this but I have to state it again for rules - I have to search you as you come in and out the building since we have numerous Merchants staying here. We don't want anything expensive to get stolen since we can't afford a lawsuit!" He clapped his hands. "So, which one of you wants to get searched first?"

Y/N and Jesper shared a look.

"I'll go first," Y/N volunteered, stepping forward and holding her arms out.

The guard patted her down, humming joyfully as he did so. "Perfect! And you, sir?"

Jesper stepped forward but tripped over the leg of the chair, knocking the chair over and jogging the table and knocking a vase over.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Jesper exclaimed, kneeling down to pick up the vase.

"Oh, it's fine, I do it all the time," the guard said, smiling. "Anyhoo."

Jesper set the vase on the table and lifted his arms. "You know, this isn't usually how I like to begin."

The guard looked up at him and raised his eyebrows, smiling. "No?"

"No. I prefer a more intimate setting."

Y/N rolled her eyes and sighed. She cleared her throat pointedly and Jesper winked at the guard, stepping aside.

"Seriously?" Y/N hissed as they walked down the side street to the garage at the back.

"It worked, didn't it?" Jesper replied.

"Oi!"

Jesper turned with a smile on his face, fully expecting it to be the previous guard. Except it wasn't. A sterner looking guard was marching towards them both with a glare in his eyes.

"The idiot back there forgot to ask for your papers," he snapped. "Papers. Now."

'What happens if we need papers to get in and out?'

'I've thought about that.'

'And?'

'Well, best get running. And try to avoid bullets.'

'Why did I expect anything else from you, Kaz?'

Jesper's hand brushed against Y/N's as he stepped forward, communicating silently the plan.

Which consisted of nothing more than run.

"We forgot our papers," YN said smoothly.

The guard raised his eyebrows. "Well, then I can't let you leave until I've contacted your supervisor. You'll have to come with me."

As the man reached out to grab Y/N's wrist, she grabbed his arm, and using all her strength, flipped him over her back and into the floor.

"Go!" Y/N yelled, shoving Jesper up the hill as she ran down it.

Y/N leapt over the guard and ran down the street, the steep gradient speeding her up. The garage was at the other end of the street - up the hill where Jesper had gone - but Y/N knew the guard would be chasing after her.

For a moment, all Y/N could hear was her pounding heartbeat, her vision bouncing up and down as she ran. And then a gunshot cracked out.

Y/N stumbled forward and then darted to the right, hiding in a bush in someone's garden as she panted. She kept quiet as she heard the guard stop right in front of her bush. Y/N didn't allow herself to relax until the guard swore loudly and jogged back up the hill.

Y/N leant her head back against the wall behind her and felt tears well in her eyes as she pressed a hand to her stomach. The bullet had gone through her back and out through her stomach. There was so much blood and the pain was overwhelming - almost blinding.

But, Y/N forced herself out of the bush and to her feet. There was a back alley with a set of stairs leading up to the garage - a very steep set of stairs, mind.

Step by step, Y/N climbed up the stairs, tightly holding onto the handrail as she climbed. Thankfully, the row of expensive-looking carriages was at the top of the stairs and Y/N's knees nearly buckled with relief when she saw the familiar slim shape of Inej.

"Inej," Y/N gasped, falling forwards onto her knees.

Inej ran over to Y/N, her feet silent on the cobbles. She knelt down next to her and held Y/N up with a hand on her uninjured side. "What happened?"

"Oh, turns out we need papers to get out," Y/N grunted, hissing with pain as Inej pressed a black handkerchief - that looked suspiciously like the one Kaz carried - against her front wound.

"Where's Jesper?"

"No idea. Where's Kaz?"

"No idea."

"Excellent, at least we're on the same - ow - page," Y/N inhaled sharply, her hand flying to grab Inej's arm as a wave of pain tossed her into a rock. "Saints."

"It went straight through, thankfully, so I think if we stitch it when we get back and keep it clean -"

"I'll live to get shot another day?" Y/N quipped, smiling despite the sheer amount of pain she was in. "I hope one of them appears with a carriage soon."

Inej kept a steady hand on Y/N's side, keeping her propped up on her knees as she tied a scarf around her waist, covering both wounds.

"Thank you," Y/N said softly, her head resting against Inej's shoulder.

"For what?" Inej asked, frowning. "For saving your life? Again? Because I'd do that even if you'd pissed me off."

A breath of laughter escaped Y/N's lips as she lifted her head. "No. Just for being here. Jesper and I..."

"I know," Inej said quietly. "Does he know?"

"About what? About how I had to watch him fall out a third storey window, not knowing if he was alive or dead? To have to cope with the mental images I have of his broken, bleeding body lying in the streets only to be thrown onto the Reaper's Barge? To know that every time I close my eyes I see Jesper where my sister was? I see Jesper jumping off the roof and plummeting instead of her? I see him staring back at me with glassy eyes and a broken neck and bleeding and -"

"Ok, ok, calm down," Inej shushed, putting a hand on the back of Y/N's head. Y/N sobbed, burying her face into the crook of Inej's neck. She cried for her dead sister, for the fact Jesper was at times an oblivious idiot and for the fact her side really fucking hurt.

"Inej I just keep seeing him lying there," Y/N sobbed. "I know he's fine but I -"

"I know, Y/N, I know," Inej said softly, stroking her hair back. She gently took her face between her hands. "But he is not your sister. Ok? Now, come on we need to get you standing."

Y/N managed to get her feet underneath her and with help from Inej, she was soon standing up - albeit a bit wobbly. Inej kept a hand on Y/N's arm, the physical contact keeping them both going as they waited for Kaz and Jesper.

Not even a minute later, a carriage rolled down the street with Kaz and Jesper in the driver's seat.

"Don't tell Jesper," Y/N said suddenly, panic in her voice.

Inej nodded. "I won't."

Kaz's dark eyes looked Y/N up and down as Jespe halted the horses to a stop. "Trouble?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Y/N replied, trying to hide her wince of pain as she tried to stand straighter.

"Inej?"

Y/N rolled her eyes. Kaz had quickly caught on to the fact she often downplayed her pain when injured, so he often asked literally anyone else.

"Through and through - she'll be fine if get back soon," Inej replied.

"Good, on you get."

Y/N climbed inside the carriage, sinking into the velvet green seat with a sigh of relief. Inej hovered by the open door before eventually coming to a decision.

"I'll be up front if you need me," she said softly, knowing that Y/N needed a moment alone.

Y/N had never been so grateful that Inej was her best friend. The carriage doors shut, and with the curtains pulled over the windows, it was blissfully dark. Y/N closed her eyes and relaxed as best she could - she kept a hand tightly pressed over Inej's scarf and her wound.

She didn't realise she'd fallen asleep until someone tapped her knee. Y/N jumped and opened her eyes to Jesper staring at her with eyes full of concern.

"You alright?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Y/N... why are you acting strange?"

"I'm not."

Jesper sat down opposite her as the carriage resumed moving. "You are. Ever since the last job you've been acting weird."

Y/N shrugged. "Sorry."

Jesper frowned. "Is this about the last job? Look, I didn't actually fall out a window for you..."

Jesper's words faded away as Y/N's mind was filled with the memory of Jesper falling. And then it wasn't Jesper it was her sister again. And then it was Inej. And even Kaz. Over and over again they were falling and falling and falling.

"Stop the carriage!"

The carriage had barely stopped before Y/N practically threw herself outside, her side screaming in protest at the sudden movement. She didn't give anyone a second glance as she moved off the open road and down into the hedgerow. There was a small river running through the field near them - one that leads into the Ketterdam canals - and Y/N fell to her knees on the banks of it, plunging her hands into the water.

Stupid, so, so stupid. It had been years since her sister had died and just when Y/N thought she'd moved on, Jesper pushed her back miles and miles.

Y/N leant forward, leaning on her hands as she stared down at the water, her knees getting wet as she knelt in the wet grass. She heard a twig snap and sighed. "I'm fine, Jesper, just leave me alone."

"Flattered that you thought I was Jesper, but alas," Kaz said, standing behind her.

Y/N glanced over her shoulder at Kaz. "Sorry, I'll be back in a minute."

Kaz was silent for a minute. "When the memory overwhelms you, find something to ground you. The feeling of something, the sound of something, even. It helps drown it out."

Y/N nodded, sniffing softly. She grunted as she got to her feet, her hand pressed to her side. A quick glance down and she saw red but not too much. "Sorry."

"Trauma doesn't apologise," Kaz said roughly, turning around and heading back up the hill. "So why should you?"

Y/N chuckled to herself. She spotted Jesper at the top of the hill, pacing nervously as Inej tried to calm him down. It took Y/N only a few seconds to decided what to do.

"Jesper, come here," Y/N called, waving him over.

He jogged over to her and his hands were instantly on her shoulders - almost as if he was holding her together. "I'm sorry -"

"Don't be, Jesper," Y/N said softly. She placed her hand over his and rubbed a circle on the back of his hand. "My sister went insane and jumped off a roof when I was fourteen. When I saw you fall out the window... I saw her. She landed in front of me and I stared at her dead, broken body, unable to comprehend what had happened. So, when you fell... I felt like I was fourteen again. And the fact you kept joking about it didn't help. It was nothing you did, Jesper. It's my own trauma rearing its head and wanting to take me down again. I just..."

"I understand," Jesper said softly, his eyes gentle and caring as he looked at her. "And I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. Trauma doesn't apologise so why should we?"

Kaz, who was trying not to listen, smirked to himself. He tapped the side of the carriage with the head of his cane. "Come on, lovebirds, we need to move."

Y/N turned back to Jesper and smile, despite her heart aching. "All I ask, Jesper, is if you could maybe carry me back to the carriage because I really hurt right now."

Jesper laughed. "Of course I can, love."

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey imagine #jesper fahey imagines #jesper fahey x fem!reader

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serino137 · 3 years ago

Note

can you do a hero x villain prompt (both male) where they are on a date and the villain is shy and all that and the hero is flirty or just finds it cute (sorry if this is to unspecific)

Prompt #192

"You know what's the best thing on the menu?" Hero asked, his sandy blond hair brushing the dark arcs of his eyebrows as he leaned in.

Villain, who sat on the other side of the restaurant booth, searched through the menu that he held. "Um. . .the chicken tenders?" He whispered.

"No, it's me 'n u" hero answered.

It only took about one second for villain to understand the pickup line, and one second was all it took for his tan skin to grow red, his ears tinting over with red as well. "A-are you flirting with me?" villain asked wide as he looked down shyly.

Hero laughed, the deep rumble making villain's heart stop. Hero looked so utterly beautiful, with his sandy blond curls that were the color of pale sunshine, his deep evergreen eyes that seemed to be the color of a rainforest, and that personality of a the flirty, nice jock from teen movies. Hero was sweet, flirty and kind at the same time. His eyes sparkled when he smiled, and when he laughed, villain swore that the air around him glowed–he was absolutely beautiful.

In fact, the was so beautiful that villain didn't even notice that he was zoning out on hero's face, until hero interrupted him.

"Take a picture next time, sweetheart, it lasts longer", hero offered, toying with a curl that escaped from behind his ear.

Villain flushed, lips opening to speak an excuse when there was none. "S-sorry" villain whispered, dark eyes casting down to avoid hero's golden smile. "I wasn't t-trying to stare or b-be annoying–"

"Annoying?" Hero asked, his dark eyebrows pinched.

Villain glanced once to meet hero's jade eyes. "Y-yeah, I keep staring at you and being awkward w-while you're over here being a beautiful–"

"Sweetheart" hero breathed. His voice was so soft and gentle that villain looked up, forcing their eyes to meet.

"First of all, thank you for calling me beautiful. Second of all, you're not annoying. I like it when you get flustered, it's cute to know that I make you nervous. I like it when you blush for me, when you avoid my eyes and smile to yourself while looking at me. It makes me–" hero's lips perked up, forming a smirk that caused villain's stomach to tumble. "It makes me want to kiss you."

Villain's lips parted with a sharp inhale, which only made hero's smirk grow further. "You want to kiss me?" villain gasped.

Hero toyed with his blonde curls, twisting a strand between his fingers. "Of course I want to kiss you–and do a lot more, of course, in the future. " Hero spoke with honesty, not holding back his words.

Villain chewed on the corner of his lip, swallowing a bit of air. "Well–I'd like to kiss you too. "

Hero's left eyebrow lifted.

In an instant, villain shook his head, closing his eyes and throwing out a bunch of words. "I mean, o-only if you want me to, I'm sorry if I-I made you feel awkward or anything! I mean, I have been w-wanting to kiss you for a long time but if you don't want to then I-I respect that and I won't–" Villain felt the soft grasp of hero's hand against his cheek, and the next thing he felt were soft lips pressing against his own.

Hero kissed him, softly at first. His lips pressed against villains, the pad of his thumb brushed down the curve of villain's cheek. Hero could feel villain's lips part open with a breathy sigh, the sound coming out like a muffled moan against hero's lips, and that's all it took. Hero's other hand came down to grab the back of villain's neck and bring him closer to hero, leaning across the booth to feel every bit of villain's kiss. One of villain's hand went to grab the side of hero's neck, while the other tangled itself in hero's curls, tugging hard enough that hero growled against hero's lips. Their tongues met and fought for dominance, dancing together as they tasted each other. They came apart, leaning on each other's foreheads as they struggled for their breaths.

Finally, villain whispered against hero's lips, "that was perfect".

#hero #villain #hero x villain #villain x hero #hero x villain prompts #villain x hero prompts #writing #writing prompts #writing prompt #prompt #prompts #story #story prompts #story prompt #male hero #male villain #kiss scene #kissing #soft makeout

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nanamisbento · 3 years ago

Text

Café Tsukishima

a/n: omg i'm sorry this took so long, but I'm so happy i got to be a part of this exchange. this is for @tsukkismoonlight, i'm your secret santa! i hope you like it.

also thank you @momochimo for hosting this event. i liked expanding my comfort zone

warnings: two curse words, indigestion mentions, mentions of food technically

word count: 3.2k

reader's pronouns are not specified

you miss the days when you could take a second to admire the snow piling outside; watch it glisten in the sun and relax, nothing on your mind but the cup of coffee in your hand and the next tv show on your watchlist.

these days, however, you look at the snow piling on the streets with a scowl, refreshing your work groupchats to see if either of your jobs will have mercy on your withering strength this snowy morning.

your roommate, bless his soul, seems to reappear over your shoulder every few minutes, patiently waiting with you.

working two jobs was no easy feat, he knew, and he wanted nothing more than to see you relax for one day out of the year.

“‘Dashi, you’re making me more stressed breathing on my neck like that.”

with a light chuckle, Yamaguchi steps back, making his way to the kitchen to prepare you a cup of coffee he knows you’ll need.

“I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but it’s looking like you’re working a doub-”

“nope! no! don’t bring your negativity into this home,” you cut him off abruptly, “I refuse to leave. I can’t even see the road outside! how would I drive on it?”

As you groan into your hands, Yamaguchi chuckles at your theatrics. He’s offered many times to drive you to work, or even cover rent for the both of you, but you always respond with a grumble along the lines of,

“too nice for your own good ‘Dashi...” and “’m an adult! I can do adult things!”

so, while he hates seeing you throw your sanity on the line with your two jobs, he’s decided there’s nothing he can really do to stop you.

he hands you your coffee and silently watches you lose your mind hoping for a day off.

and a few minutes later, by some astounding miracle, two pings sound from your phone, and you and Yamaguchi both rush to see the long-awaited messages from both of your employers.

“you should come with me to the Frogs game tonight, you could finally meet Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaimed after a short celebration of your newfound freedom.

at the mention of his best friend’s name, you winced. you never told him that you have met the infamous Tsukishima, and since said meeting, you’ve been actively avoiding the middle blocker.

it wasn’t his fault Yamaguchi left him in your apartment without your knowledge, and it certainly wasn’t his fault that he overheard you asking your roommate to purchase indigestion medication for you. however, him laughing in your face after the call was 100% his fault.

it was embarrassing enough to run into him in your living room that afternoon, so to “officially” meet him was asking a lot of yourself. but out of love for Yamaguchi, and a lack of excuses, you reluctantly agreed.

after a quick exchange of game details and goodbyes, he left your shared apartment in a rush to get to campus, leaving you to your own devices for a few hours.

to say the Sendai Frogs were amazing was an understatement.

while Yamaguchi was incessantly cheering his friends on, you sat in awe as you watched the volleyball fly faster than your eyes could track. you were even more shocked by how pliant Tsukishima made his body as he continued to block and defend for his team.

you were certainly not a professional in the sport, but you knew enough to understand how strong this team was.

after nearly losing your voice from cheering at the Frogs’ win, Yamaguchi drags you out of the bleachers and onto the court. he hugs a few members, as well as Tsukishima (who gives him a heartfelt pat on the back), before pushing you in front of him.

“everyone, this is y/n!”

you wave a bit stiffly towards the team before Koganegawa reaches out to excitedly shake your hand.

“we’ve heard a lot about you!”

“a bit too much, really” Tsukishima counters. Your face heats up under his scrutinizing glare.

“well Tadashi does get a little loose-lipped when he’s stressed, and i'm sure i’ve stressed him out more than enough.”

you don’t miss the small chuckle that manages to escape Tsukishima’s lips. Yamaguchi doesn’t miss the slight boost in your mood after it.

after letting them change and shower in the locker room, Koganegawa invites you to their team dinner, to which you impulsively agree to attend.

their dynamic was...strange to say the least. Koganegawa cracking jokes with other players, repeatedly nudging Kyoutani, who released a grunt every once in a while, but otherwise seemed detached for the night. Tsukishima also seemed quiet, although you always pegged him as someone who doesn’t thrive in groups, only responding to Yamaguchi’s consistent praise and excitement with variations of “calm down”.

you focused on your food while occasionally cracking jokes that made the team laugh, embracing the environment. you enjoyed their company more than you expected to. as you and Yamaguchi started heading back to your apartment, you told the team you would definitely attend their next few games, and said your goodbyes.

maybe your one day of freedom made you forget that your life doesn’t allow free time, much less time to go see every Sendai Frogs game (and they certainly had a lot). Regrettably, you had turned down Yamaguchi’s offers to join him every week, and that dinner was the last time you had seen anyone on the team.

it’s not your fault you’re busy, but you can’t help the guilt as you see your roommate head out to watch another game.

the next morning you found yourself waking up much earlier than usual, giving you some time before you had to tend to your responsibilities. deciding to stretch your legs and admire the colder weather for the first time this year, you go for a short walk to the café close to your apartment complex.

the warmth of the café washed over your goosebumps as you step into the shop. there was nothing like the ambience of coffee on a cold winter morning; the warmth of a cup in the grasp of your slightly shaking hands; the familiar head of blonde hair turning in your direction.

the brown eyes of Tsukishima Kei staring at you from his own table.

your feet were rooted to their spot, fight-or-flight response completely overridden by the awkwardness consuming your body. do you say hi? should you pretend you never saw him and just order something to go?

choosing to be mature, you decide to order a drink and exchange niceties with the man before scurrying back to your apartment to mull over your conversational skills.

taking a deep breath, you approach his table with your drink in hand.

“you’re Tadashi’s roommate.” you wish it were the frost outside reigniting your goosebumps rather than the chill in his voice.

“Tadashi’s friend,” you correct, “but yes, nice to see you again Tsukishima.”

he resumes reading whatever was holding his interest before you approached him. after a beat of silence and you fiddling with your drink, you make your way to leave when he clears his throat,

“are you just going to stand there?”

a bit startled by his invitation (?) to sit with him, you reluctantly place your drink on his table before pulling a chair across from him. his eyes stay rooted to the content on his laptop that has garnered his attention, as you fiddle with the coffee sleeve on your cup.

“did I-we scare you away or something?” he suddenly speaks up.

when you go to look at him, his eyes are still latched to his screen, although you can see through his glasses that he’s not looking at anything in particular. he’s just looking to avoid your eye contact.

“...scare me?” you question, confused. how would they scare you?

“it’s been seven games.” is all he says in response. you stare at him, trying to meet his eyes as they persistently avoid your gaze. what the hell was he on about? this was your longest conversation with the man and yet it was the most cryptic. why was he speaking in code?

when he finally locked eyes with you, he noticed your confusion. with a slightly agitated sigh he pulled out his phone, tapping around before he eventually passed it to you. even more confused, you took his phone into your hands, a bit shocked to see an empty contact form waiting to be filled in. you looked at him for confirmation, only to see his gaze had turned back to his laptop, and his ears sported a light pink tint.

still startled, you quickly put in your number, and put your contact name under Tadashi’s friend before handing his phone back to him.

he holds a subtle smile at your contact, before his alarm rings and shakes him out of his mild stupor.

“practice.” he barely explains before packing up his things and leaving you with a bow. you’re left at his table questioning the reality of the past fifteen minutes. a few minutes after his departure, your phone dings, telling you you’ve received a message. an unknown number, who you assume is Tsukishima, has sent you a schedule of the Sendai Frogs games for the rest of the season.

oh you think, he wanted me to come.

after your odd run-in with Tsukishima, Yamaguchi started pushing you a little more to attend the games, and you found yourself going out of your way to make time to go. it was always an experience seeing the force of Kyoutani’s hits, and the speed and agility of Tsukishima’s blocks.

it was nice, embracing the cheers of the team when they saw you for the first time since the past game from months ago. you were warming up to them, and it was always comforting making new friends.

but of course, life happened.

when the holidays rolled around, however, you felt yourself slipping into a pit. this year, you had no friends to hang out with, and no job to distract you. Yamaguchi made numerous attempts to get you out of your room before leaving to see family, but was painfully unsuccessful.

this holiday season, you had no one.

except for Tsukishima Kei apparently, who was standing outside your apartment door according to his recent text message to you. after attending a few more of the Frogs games, you and Tsukishima had grown a little closer than before, but you wouldn’t necessarily call him a friend.

you groaned as another message notification rang through your empty apartment.

Tsukishima: wake up

Tsukishima: I'm outside

Tsukishima: I know you’re seeing these

you wait a few minutes, hoping he’ll take the hint and just leave you in your pool of self-pity, but history has proved that Tsukishima doesn’t understand cues of when to leave. you hear a resounding knock on your door, and decide to just let him in for whatever he needs.

when you open your door, the sight of Tsukishima shakes you a little bit. his hair is covered by an adorable frog beanie, and a pink tint covers his nose and cheeks beautifully. his hands are shoved into the pockets of his coat, and on his arm lays another jacket, which he shoves into your arms after giving you a quick once-over.

before you can ask him what he’s doing here, or make yourself look more presentable, he gently wraps an arm around your wrist, dragging you across the street before stopping in front of your neighborhood café.

he shoots you a quick look, trying to read your silent consent before he walks in with you in tow. as if on cue, the barista calls his name and places two drinks out on the serving table. it isn’t until he reaches for the drinks that you realize he was still holding your wrist.

as you sit across from him at one of the café's tables, he passes you your cup. you suspiciously take a sip, until you find your eyebrows shooting up at the taste of your favorite drink.

“did Yamaguchi send you a y/n to-do list or something?” you lightly joked. he took a sip of his drink before meeting your eyes.

“is it so hard to believe that I know things about you by now?”

not knowing what to say, you decided to just focus on the drink in your hand. the silence soon shifted from peaceful to awkward, neither of you really knowing what to say, and you not really understanding why you’re sitting in the middle of a café across from him right now.

when you look at him, he looks away from you, and when he looks at you, it’s when you’ve looked away. you sigh to yourself, not understanding this random game of cat and mouse.

“how’s your indigestion?” he questions, breaking the silence in the worst possible way.

your head shoots up at this. his expression seems entirely serious. you tilt your head in confusion.

“are you poking fun at me?”

“no, I'm genuinely curious” he sighed.

“you sound sarcastic.” you muttered, reaching for your drink once again.

he takes off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose in slight frustration. you questioned if there was something irritating about your presence, but kept it to yourself. another beat of silence passed before Tsukishima attempted to continue the conversation.

“I wasn’t being sarcastic. it was just an innocent question.”

“then why’d you laugh at me?”

the confused expression on his face makes you want to slap him, but it also makes you want to reach across the table and smooth out his eyebrows.

“because it was funny at the time, so let’s just move on.”

caught off-guard by his abruptness, you decide to drop the topic. this time, it doesn’t take much energy to continue conversing with him. you both talk about your hobbies and classes, and he tells you about his family. it was more comfortable than you had expected, and you certainly never thought you would be calling Tsukishima Kei a friend by nighttime.

over the span of holiday break, Tsukishima has knocked on your door every day and dragged you to the neighborhood café. it became a sort-of unspoken daily ritual, and neither of you seemed to be complaining. you thought you’d grow sick of the taste of coffee, but something about Tsukishima’s presence always made it tastier. the more you saw of him, the more you grew to appreciate the little things about him, like his attention to detail, or his tendency to wipe the right lens of his glasses before the left lens. it was clear to you that you had started to harbor some feelings for the middle blocker, and you had no idea what to do with them.

while your relationship friendship with him was growing, Tsukishima was slowly becoming more comfortable with you too. he liked the way you still tried to talk to him, to get to know him, even when he says asshole-ish things. he admired the shine in your eyes whenever you opened the door to see him, the jacket he lent you already draped over your body.

the dragging you by your wrist soon became pulling you along gently, which soon became walking side-by-side, which developed into brushing your fingers against each other’s, before you both evolved into holding hands.

“I lied to you a few weeks ago,” he says over his cup of tea as he retracts his hand from yours. he figured it would be better to try a less-caffeinated drink, and less physical contact with you to remain composed for the things he means to say today.

“I laughed at you because I was nervous. Yamaguchi spent months telling me I had to meet his attractive roommate who was ‘just my type’, and the first time he left me alone in your apartment, I had to run into you. I laughed because he was right, and it made me nervous. I didn’t give a fuck about your indigestion. who cares? and I guess I lied because I don’t know how to talk to you, everything I say comes out wrong, and it’s frustrating because I don’t want to seem like an asshole but I just do.”

he panted quietly after finishing his rambling. if the confession wasn’t such a serious topic, you would’ve dropped your jaw the way you so desperately wanted to. he found you...attractive. while your feelings for him were still fresh and developing, you knew that this was an opportunity you couldn’t miss to get closer to him.

you’re unsuccessful in hiding your smile, opting to make light of the situation instead.

“maybe if you buy me enough coffee, I’ll kiss you.” you tease. you don’t miss the way his face flares up, and his grip on his tea tightens slightly. oh?

eager to change the topic, he starts talking about a new book he started reading. you tune out more than once, more focused on analyzing his confession and admiring his features than listening about fossils.

Tsukki: open your door

the text tone from your phone wakes you up from your slumber, squinting your eyes to see a message from your crush close friend.

Y/N: you have a spare key Tsukki just open the door? you woke me up btw </3

Tsukki: that ruins the flair of it all

refusing to argue with him, you push yourself out of bed with a groan, and sleepily stumble to unlock your door, where you see Tsukishima holding two very large cups of coffee. he gives you a gentle smile before kicking off his shoes and setting himself onto your couch.

“is this enough?” he questions.

“enough for what? heart palpitations?” you joke.

“enough for a kiss.”

if someone had told you in the beginning of winter that by the end of December you would be cuddled up to Tsukishima Kei, sharing a kiss with him on your old couch, you’d laugh in their face and ask them what fanfiction they read. but as you lay in his arms for the first time, you realize that, despite the journey to get here, you were exactly where you were supposed to be. he was an unexpected force in your life, and he helped you through one of your weakest times. maybe it was too early to tell, but you felt cared for, and you cared for him more than you realized.

in Tsukishima’s arms, you found yourself admiring the snow outside once again, nothing on your mind but the cup of coffee in your hand, the next tv show on your watchlist, and your significant other’s warm embrace.

if someone told you that a year from now, you and Tsukishima would be cuddled up in the early morning, sharing coffee and kisses in your own shared apartment; that he would still know your favorite coffee order, and he’d be telling you how in love with you he is, you would dreamily smile, and tell them,

“I hope so.”

#tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x y/n #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei fluff #lex wrote something #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #dearsecretsantasan #HQ2021ficexchangeevent

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softxsuki · 3 years ago

Note

Hello, may I please make an urgent request. Where reader has a eating disorder (bulimia). Daichi, walks in on gn!reader forcing themselves to throw up food that they recently ate. If its too much i can understand if you can't do it. Thanks so much<3

Kuroo with Bulimic Reader

Pairing: Kuroo x Gn!Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of bulimia; throwing up, making yourself throw up, mentions of insecurities of weight, food, gagging (sound)

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: In which Kuroo catches you trying to make yourself throw up after eating and comforts you.

[A/N: Hello anon, thank you for trusting me with your urgent request. I'm glad I didn't start writing it before I got your request to change the character to Kuroo! Sorry for the delay, I was busy yesterday and it's been an emotionally draining day today. I won't get into it unless anyone is interested 😭, but yeah. I hope this is able to bring you some form of comfort <3 Enjoy!]

It was a common occurrence. You’d buy or cook something, eat it, and then excuse yourself to the bathroom where you’d throw it all up–preferring the empty feeling in your stomach.

That specific evening, you had cooked a special dinner for you and Kuroo, just to show your appreciation for him. As usual you savored the flavor of the meal, enjoying each bite while you could, knowing where it would all end up once you finished eating.

Kuroo observed you, just like he had been observing you every-time you guys ate together. At first he thought nothing of your frequent trips to the bathroom whenever you were finished eating. He would brush it off, thinking maybe you needed to use it since you drank a lot whenever you ate. He did start to get suspicious though, when it would happen every time, at the same time–whenever you finished eating.

Now, just like all those other times, you ate the last bite of your meal and once again excused yourself. The fullness of your stomach made you feel sick, you knew you had to dispel it quickly.

Kuroo nods in understanding as you excuse yourself, but never takes his eyes off you until you disappear behind the corner to the hall that leads to the bathroom. Once he hears the click of the bathroom door close, he takes that as his signal to finally confirm whether his suspicions had been correct or not.

He quietly scoots out of his seat and starts down the same hallway you just went down, towards the bathroom. There was a good chance he could potentially walk in on you using the bathroom, in which he’d just quickly close the door and apologize; there was even a chance that you had locked the door behind you– either way, he needed to know. He needed to put his mind to rest about whether you really were throwing up after all your meals or not. He desperately hoped he was wrong.

As Kuroo made his way down the hallway, you were lurched over the toilet, having already washed your hands so you could shove them down your throat in an attempt to bring your food back up. You gag several times, which blocks out the sound of Kuroo opening the door and standing at the entrance, shocked.

“I knew it,” he mutters, taking a few steps back with bewilderment on his face.

The sudden noise makes you take your fingers from your mouth as your eyes meet his, widening as you jump up from the floor.

“What are you doing here? I thought I locked the door,” you say, now avoiding his eyes at all cost.

“No, what are YOU doing? Or what were you about to do? Please tell me my eyes are deceiving me right now. Tell me you weren’t about to do what I think you were going to do,” he asks, desperately wanting to be wrong about the whole situation.

“I just felt sick after eating,” you lie between your teeth, moving to the sink to wash your hands now that your mission of getting rid of your food from your stomach failed.

“Bull,” he spits, “You always do this, run to the bathroom whenever you finish eating. You tryna tell me that you feel sick after eating all the time?”

He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but he was beyond worried about you; he feared your habit could progress into something worse–something more permanent.

You were silent, head hung in shame. He got you. How would you face him now? It’s not like he found out from someone telling him, he actually witnessed it himself. You on the floor, hovering over the toilet with your fingers down your throat, gagging as you waited for your food to come back up. How would you ever face him again? Guilt ate away at you, feeling shameful about your daily habit for the first time since you started doing it.

“What did you hope to gain by doing this?” he asks, his voice a lot quieter as it wavered slightly from the pain he felt at seeing you like that.

“I don’t know,” you answer finally.

“Of course you know,” he whispers as he moves closer to you, nudging your chin up so he could see your face–your eyes, “Please tell me so I can reassure you that this isn’t the way. Tell me so I can help.”

You look into his hazel eyes and see the tears that threaten to spill from them, though he does a good job holding them back. You never expected someone to be so affected by what you were doing to yourself.

“It just helps me,” you start explaining as he lets you turn your head away from him, “I did it once after hearing that it was a thing. I thought it would help me lose weight since I get to enjoy the taste of food, while not being affected by the calories or fat later…”

“You’re perfect the way you are. I know you don’t see it, but it’s true, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you in my eyes. If you want to lose weight though, there’s a better, healthier way to go about it,” he explains as one of his hands moves to lean on your shoulder, “Right now you’re not allowing your body to absorb any nutrients that you need to survive. You need food not only for the nutrients that get you through the day, but also for the energy that it gives you.”

You listen to him. You know throwing up your food isn’t the best way to go about facing your insecurity of your weight, but you felt it was the easiest way that showed results fast.

“Please, let’s work together to stop this from happening. Now that you’re used to it it’ll probably be hard to keep your food down since you’re so used to throwing it up straight away. I know the thought of food staying in your stomach probably sounds horrible to you, but we’ll take it slow,” his hands reach down for your hands, squeezing them gently, “How does that sound?”

You think it over, already picturing the difficult days that would lie ahead for you if you agreed, but then you remember Kuroo’s face when he caught you making yourself throw up a few minutes earlier and you find your answer.

“I can try. As long as you help me.”

“Of course I’ll help you. I promise we’ll figure out a way for you to enjoy food again while keeping it inside your stomach. Baby steps–there’s no rush to change all at once,” he assures you.

You thank him, not really looking forward to not being able to continue doing things your way, but you knew deep down that it was for the best to change your ways.

“Great, let’s get out of here,” he tugs on your hand as he leads you out of the bathroom and back to the kitchen where he begins to clean up.

You could still feel the fullness in your stomach from the meal you had earlier, but you kept your eyes on Kuroo as he cleaned up, not wanting to run back to the bathroom and disappointment already.

A long, difficult road awaits you ahead, but Kuroo plans to help you through every second of it. No matter how hard it gets, he’ll be by your side to encourage you and promote a healthier lifestyle that works for you.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

12/26/2021

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lalaangeldust · 4 years ago

Text

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 [ ��𝐤+ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 ]

[ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ] : gross sticky icky fluff // friends to lovers troupe <3 // hanta is a huge dork, we all been knew this // hanta is also sickeningly sweet and affectionate // GOD, I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH

[ 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ] : on a clear night, you go out to stargaze on the dorm roof; nothing out of the norm for you but in the middle of admiring the stars, sero comes out to join with something big he needs to get off his chest.

[ 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 ] : you - blue // sero - orange

[ 𝗺𝘆𝗸𝗶𝗲'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ] : i'm totally not projecting my fantasies onto sero and i'm totally not a sucker for friends to lovers fics :| /s

Sitting on the cool concrete of the dorm roof, the night illuminated by nothing but the streetlights below you and the stars above as you lay in silence with your legs propped against the roof's ledge. You've always thought the best part of UA was how it was out of the way so the stars are clearer than they were back in the city. Although graduation is soon and end of year exams are menacingly looming over you, you couldn't resist the urge to come out and soak up the full moon's gorgeous light. Nights like these, alone on a clear night, soft music playing through your headphones, scanning the vast sky, connecting the dots as your eyes wander to make constellations of your own are arguably one of your most favorite things in life.

The only thing that could possibly make this better is... him.

Eyes trailing to the brightest star you can find and admiring how it sticks out from everything else in your vision, your mind uncontrollably wanders to Sero. How that star kinda reminds you of him...

Ugh! what a ridiculous thing to think! Damn him for always finding a way to worm into your thoughts. Your hands fly to your forehead with a smack, outwardly groaning as you drag your fingers down your face in an attempt to shake off your thoughts. You've been friends with him for nearly three years! You would think you'd be over your petty crush on him by now. You two are practically siblings with how you two are almost always attached at the hip, always causing trouble together, always there when the other needed it, always making you feel safe... It would be weird to have feelings for him... right..?

But before you could rationalize your emotions any further, a hand reaches for your headphones, lifting one side off your ear as you hear a soft voice murmur behind you, “The moon’s beautiful tonight, isn't it?”

You practically jump out of your skin, immediately shooting up to take a defensive position. Although you can’t make out the silhouette you’re now facing, the all too familiar laughter that comes from them is more than enough to give away who this false intruder could be and you sigh in relief.

“Sero! You scared me half to death!!” you exclaim, relaxing your shoulders at seeing his familiar frame emerge through the dim light.

Tall and lean with a smile that could nearly rival the sun, the boy chuckles at you. His long pitch black hair he's been growing out for the past year cascading down the sides of his face, just barely brushing past his shoulders framing his face in a way that makes his dashing features stand out even more. Sero approaches you wearing a loose muscle tank top with his hands tucked in ill fitting sweats and a pair of black stud earrings he stole from you in his ears.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sero chuckled, "I didn't mean to scare you so bad, doll". You send him a deep glare through the darkness and he throws his hands up out of his pockets to either side of his head in defense.

"...Maybe you shouldn't sit out here with music blasting in your ears,” Sero snarks back, “I could’ve been a villain,” he continues mockingly, “Not to mention that horrible stance you took. I don't think you’d fair very well against a villain while sitting down,” he teases with a wide grin smeared on his face. You scoff and roll your eyes in response.

“Are you only here to tell me how much of a hazard I am? Or do you want anything else, tape face?” you grumble.

“Oh, you wound me!” Sero exclaims dramatically, “I was simply wondering what my lil’ muffin was up to,” he muses, the dimples on his cheeks becoming visible as his grin only stretches wider as he speaks.

“Oh god, muffin!?!? ew!” you groan, “What the hell, I thought we agreed on no more stupid pet names,” you say with a giggle while scrunching up your nose.

“I didn't think it was stupid,” Sero huffs as he plops himself down next to you and wrinkles his nose back at you, “Muffin is a valid nickname. You just have no taste,” he concludes with a short nod, still smiling like an idiot.

You just roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him before tilting your head up to go back to looking at the stars. Sero chuckles softly, staring at you for a moment while admiring you as you look at the sky with a softened smile on his face.

“Why you up so late?” he inquired.

“I could ask you the same thing, Sero,” you reply while throwing your head back down to look at him.

“Mmm, well, I was sleeping but… I suddenly woke up and couldn't go back to sleep,” he grunts as he adjusts himself into a more comfortable sitting position next to you.

You hum in acknowledgment before you look back up to the stars in the sky and Sero is left to admire you once again. How your eyes glimmer with the stars as the full moon softly illuminates your frame is a breathtaking view he would never tire of. The look on your face when you gaze at the sky, the look of pure adoration and awe is a look he hopes, prays, dreams you’ll give him one day.

“What’re you thinking, hun?” he softly asks, hoping you’d give him just the slightest glimpse of what goes on in your head. You pause for a moment, taking in his question and wondering how to answer it.

“Just thinking. Thinking thoughts. Nothing notable or important, I can assure you. Just enjoying the clear night,” you say, swerving his question to avoid the real answer. him.

“Ah, that was a rather vague answer,” he jests, mildly disappointed that you didn't let him in and you only hum in response.

“What about you?” you ask, “What made you wanna come up here?”

“Oh, well..” he begins but is held back by a lump that suddenly lodges in his throat, not really wanting to fully admit why he came up here with you.

In reality he hadn't slept at all. He’s embarrassed to admit it but he couldn't stop thinking of you all night, all day in fact. You just about consume his every thought and tonight, no matter what he did, he just couldn’t shake the thought of being with you.

After being so close with you for years now, people often assume the two of you are dating but the idea is almost always dismissed by a shy laugh and an averted gaze... Sero would be lying if he ever said he didn't relish the idea of being in a romantic relationship with you but... You never seemed all that interested in the idea and Sero was too scared to push the idea you may like him even half as much as he likes you. Never going farther than light hearted flirting and banter, some may call him a coward maybe but to him? Being your friend was enough. Well, that was until Mina and Kiri gave him a harsh wake up call earlier that morning.

They were scolding him on how painfully obvious it is how both you and Sero are nearly head over heels for one another, how they've spent the past year pining for one another, yet the both of you have stayed so blind to the fact you have feelings for each other. Absolutely dumbfounded by this, he asks what he should do about it, about you, to which they immediately and overwhelmingly demand him to confess his feelings for you. That is the real reason he came to find you.

“When I was trying to go back to sleep, I thought about something someone said… about taking chances,” he spoke in a soft and thoughtful tone, “Taking that blind leap of faith into the unknown things we’re afraid of because... what’s the worst that can happen…?” he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly realizing how silly he probably sounds as he looks at you, “I dunno- sounds kinda dumb now that I say it out loud,” he says dismissively.

“No, no. I don't think it sounds dumb at all. I think it’s very insightful” you say, ushering him to continue by resting your head on your palm as you look at him intently to show your interest.

“Well, uh,” butterflies swarm to his chest as he tries to find the words to speak, finding it much harder to talk when he knows he has your full attention.

“Well, it led me to think about you 'cus I know that's something you talk about a lot as well… and I figured since it's a full moon tonight, you'd be up here,” he concludes. His gaze nervously shifting to his feet, averting his eyes from you to try and calm the fluttering nerves in his chest.

“I’m glad you did,” you hum, a low warmth growing in your chest from knowing he thought about you, “I enjoy your company,” you add thoughtfully. Though you probably just meant it in a friendly way, it didn’t change how much it meant to Sero to know you like having him around.

“I’m happy to hear that,” Sero chuckles nervously, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he slightly scooches closer to you. You take notice and you subtly tilt to the side, leaning in his direction not yet touching shoulders but leaving an opening to do so if he wanted.

“I uh- I also wanted to tell you something- In regards to what I was thinking about…” Sero mumbles nervously, hoping you didn’t catch what he said so he would have an excuse to not go through with his confession. Pretend like nothing happened and move on to just enjoy the simple friendship you two share.

“Oh?” You inquire, “What do you want to tell me? I’m all ears,” Sero fiddles with his thumbs, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before he speaks as you patiently wait for him.

"I- uh, I love you," he blurts, head swimming as he looks at you, eager and insatiably nervous to hear how you may respond, horrified you may not reciprocate his feelings and ultimately ruining what relationship you two did have.

"I love you too, Sero," you giggle.

Sero's heart drops, confidence dwindling as he assumes you thought he said "I love you" in the way you two always have. Just as friends. But he didn't. He meant it. He meant it in so many more ways he couldn't even begin to describe. He didn't expect you to reciprocate his feelings in the first place but that doesn't make him hurt any less.

"No, you don't understand," Sero sighs as he runs his hands through his long, thick hair, "I'm in love with you," You turn you head to him, Did he-? eyes widening at what Sero said, unsure if what you heard was a wishful hallucination or not. When you said "I love you" back, you genuinely meant it in the same way he does now. God, you've been in love with him for what seems like the first moment you two met but you would've never guessed Sero felt the same for you.

You sit in silence for a beat trying processes what Sero had just said to you. Your friend, your closest friend, is in love with you..? Something you've dreamt of becoming a reality. You start to get dizzy from the overwhelming euphoria and anxiety the realization simultaneously brings. You look at Sero, placing your hand on his to ground yourself as you look up at him, a warm smile spreading on your face.

"I love you too, Hanta," you say earnestly. Sero's heart leaps in his chest at your words. Not only did the person of his dreams reciprocate his feelings but they also addressed him by his first name?! He might as well be dreaming. Hearing his name fall off your lips like warm honey for the first time sends him flying through cloud nine.

"Y-you mean it??" Sero stutters, still unable to believe it. You give him a heartfelt smile as you squeeze his hand before standing up. You wordlessly walk around Sero and crouch behind him.

Utterly confused and growing increasingly flustered at your sudden close proximity, Sero opens his mouth to ask what you could possibly be doing but you shush him before he can say a word. Leaning against him, you ask permission to grab his hand and Hanta lets you guide his finger to the brightest star in the sky, hyperaware of every subtle shift, adjustment and breath you take behind him, clinging onto every passing moment.

"You see that star? The really really bright one right there and how it's brighter than the others?" you ask.

"Yeah... why.?" he questions, eager to hear what you have to say.

"Forgive me if this is too cheesy but it sorta reminds me of you," you say softly.

"Wh- I don't think a follow," Hanta replies and you give a short, breathy chuckle in response.

"Out of all the stars in the sky, you stick out to me to most. You're the brightest star," you murmur close to him, guiding his hand back down and you make your way to sit next to him. Hanta takes a moment to process what you said. Him? A star? He doesn't understand how you view him in such a way when there isn't much special about him in the first place... but he tries not to pay any mind to those thoughts as his eyes are glued to you sitting back down beside him.

"Pff, that was super cheesy," he snorts.

"Shut up, I'm trying my best," you grumble, "And... that's what I was really thinking about before you came," Hanta looks at you in awe, nothing but love and kindness filling his eyes as he gingerly grabs your hand, lifting it up level to his face.

"It's aright, doll, I was only teasing.. I think it's cute and~," he hums before placing a soft kiss on your knuckle, "I'm ok with cheesy," he concludes with a wink. Heat blooms on your cheeks at his action and you throw your head to the side, covering your mouth and cheek with your other hand in embarrassment. Hanta chuckles, just about ready to burst at how adorable you are and gets a sudden burst of confidence coursing through him from seeing your flustered form.

"Aw, don't get shy on me now, love," he coos, tugging your arm to usher you to look back at him. You look at him with a flustered scowl and Hanta isn't sure if you did it to intimidate him or what but all it did was make his heart scream for you more. His hand slides to your forearm and his other hand goes to grab your other arm, pulling it away from your face.

"Here, come here, baby," he murmurs, pulling your arms to guide you to his lap. You give little resistance as you follow Hanta's hands, shifting around to make yourself comfortable against him as you settle between his thighs. As soon as you got comfortable, Hanta's arms find their home around your waist, hugging you close and breathing you in. You sigh contently as your back rests against his strong chest, never feeling safer than you do right now in his arms.

"It's ok if I call you baby now, right..?" Hanta asks, not wanting to be too much at one time.

"Well, it would be if we were dating," you tease with a raised brow.

"Wha-?" Hanta looks at you confused for a moment before he realizes, "Oh! How could I forget," he chuckles softly, cupping your face in his large palm, guiding your face too look at him, his dark eyes practically engulfing you in his loving gaze.

"Would you care to be my partner..?" he purrs, voice dipping to a soft and low tone that sends goosebumps down your spine.

"W-well, when you put it like that how can I say no?" you mumble, not being able to help the heat rising up your neck, painting your cheeks pink once again from how small you feel under Hanta's enchanting gaze.

"So... is that a yes..?" Hanta inquires, hand still placed tenderly on our cheek. You nod your head against his palm, fingers caressing up and down his forearm as he holds you.

"Mhm, I would love nothing more," you reply in a soft and tender tone. Hanta melts at your words, feeling on top the world and like he can do anything. An uncontrollable smile erupts on his face, charming dimples ornamenting his cheeks as he hugs you tight to his body not wanting to ever let go.

You shuffle in his arms to turn yourself around in his lap. Now facing him, you tuck your face into the crook of Hanta's neck, wrapping your arms and legs snuggly around his torso. Hanta holds you equally as close, affectionately running his fingers up and down your back in complete bliss with you snuggling up to him.

"Can I kiss you..?" Hanta asks, voice just barely above a whisper. You lift your head up to look him in his deep eyes and you cup his face in your hand. Hanta leans into your touch, grabbing your hand on his face and guides it down just enough to plant a chaste kiss to the edge of your palm. You sigh and softly smile, nodding at the boy's question.

"Please kiss me," you murmur, leaning closer into his body. Hanta places his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you and a colliding your lips together. Though it was clumsy at first, you quickly adapt and your lips lock together like puzzle pieces. Tenderly, Hanta pulls away from you and rests his forehead against yours. The kiss you shared was short and sweet but still left the both of you breathless and yearning for more.

"May I kiss you again?" Hanta questions playfully and you giggle in response while nodding your head against him. He leans in, smiling against you as you mash lips with together, the both of you sighing into the other's mouth. This kiss a lot more confident than the last as Hanta takes the lead to explore every bit of you he can, taking note of every noise, movement and reaction you give. This time you pull away, surfacing for air from Hanta's intense hold on you.

"I can kiss you again, right?" Hanta asks again.

"How many more kisses do you want??" you giggle.

"That is a dangerous question to ask, my love," Hanta purrs into you, his breath ghosting your neck as he nuzzles his face underneath your jaw and lays a soft peck where his face lies, "I'd take all of them," he says, scanning your face for any discomfort but once he sees you're ok with him continuing, he lays another peck on your neck.

You laugh at the ticklish feeling, lacing your fingers through his dark hair as he continues showering you with short kisses.

"Let me know if I'm being too much, yeah?" kiss on your neck, "I don't wanna be too much," another kiss on the neck, "or overwhelm you," kiss on your jaw, "'cus that would be sad," kiss on the corner of your mouth.

"Hanta!" you squeal through giggles.

"I'm sorry, hun" kiss on your cheekbone, "I just can't resist," kiss on your cheek, "you have no idea," kiss on the chin, "just how long," kiss on the nose, "I've wanted," kiss on the eyelid "to do this," kiss on the brow, "And now," kiss on the temple, "I can't," kiss on the forehead, "Stop,"

Erupting with giggles, you desperately try to squirm away as Hanta continues to relentlessly shower you with kisses.

"No, no, no! Hanta!" you cry through your laughter, "No more!"

Giving you one last peck on the lips before pulling away, Hanta finally gives into your pleas and stops his assault of kisses. He presses his forehead against yours as you calm down from your laughing fit, pulling some giggles from Hanta as well because of your contagious laugh.

"I love you," you sigh once you've finally calmed down. Hanta hums in response, placing his hand on the back of your head, letting his fingers lace through your hair.

"I love you too," he says, heart feeling full and beaming with joy.

Forever and always~

𝒇𝒊𝒏 . ✩

[ lil easter egg of sorts for those of you who don't know~ in Japanese when you ask someone "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" or

『月が綺麗ですね』 // "tsuki ga kirei desu, ne?"

it's actually a very poetic way to confess your love to the person you're asking ]

[ I think it's literally so fucking cute 'cus i myself am deeply in love w/ the moon :) ]

[ if this were a thing in English and someone confessed to me this way, i would immediately demand for their hand in marriage >:| ]

[ god, japanese culture is so cool, i love it sm ]

ALSO- CAN WE NORMALISE ASKING SOMEONE OUT BY ASKING THEM TO BE YOUR PARTNER INSTEAD OF BF / GF????

"would you care to be my partner?" UHBIJNIJAHHHH LITERALLY SO ROMANTIC AND GENUINE HOLY SHIT- i'm making myself simp

RAAAHHHHHHH

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