#This song is just so God damned gorgeous and so cinematic I feel like it belongs at the end of a movie or sth

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

It’s always fun jumping into a movie I know next to nothing about, and this requested review for Wes will be no exception. All I know is that Girls Just Want to Have Fun is an 80s teen romp with the worst photoshopped cover photo I’ve ever seen. It looks like Michael Scott put it together. I know it stars girls, AND I know what those girls want. That’s half your narrative battle right there. So do they achieve the fun they seek? Well...

They do! A lot of weird shit happens along the way, but yeah, fun is had and that’s all that really matters. God, 1985 was a simpler time. I mean, I know everyone was living in constant fear that the Russians were going to invade Kansas and we’d be faced with a neverending nuclear winter, but in the face of all that existential terror you also get movies where the entire pitch is “So there’s this girl (Sarah Jessica Parker) who wants to be a dancer on tv, but her parents don’t want to let her. But she does it anyway! And her partner is chosen for her and, boy, they do not see eye to eye. But then they do! And they have to practice a lot. And then they win the dance contest!” 

You know some studio exec heard that and screamed at his secretary to hold his calls for the day so he could sign the contracts and then do a mountain of blow off them. 

Some thoughts:

It’s so weird to see Sarah Jessica Parker without curly hair! I was never a Sex and the City fan, so my exposure to SJP is purely Hocus Pocus based.

This dance sequence over the credits is incredible. Why do we not have shows anymore that are just a large group of young attractive people dancing in sync? No host, no dialogue, just the power of dance. I was born in the wrong decade. I would have appreciated the shit out of the 80s when I was alive.

Poor Helen Hunt - she must be one of those people who always looked like she was 35, even in high school. Granted, she was 22 when this was filmed and she’s playing a teenager, but still. 

Helen Hunt is wearing dinosaurs in her hair. 80s fashion was on a wavelength that I don’t think any of us living will ever see again.

Omg this rich bitch (Natalie, I guess? She’s not named for at least the first 30 min of the movie) had Claire’s closet from Clueless 10 years before the movie existed! This is already groundbreaking.

NOW SHE HAS A BUG ON HER HAT. A big plastic green grasshopper. This review is mainly going to be about the insane things Lynne (Helen Hunt) wears.

Speaking of - I’m getting big lesbian vibes from Lynne Stone and I am so here for it. The homoerotic tension when she acts like she’s gonna fight the rich bitch? Delicious. The immediate intimate connection she makes with SJP? Practically U-Hauling. 

I love an 80s dance montage, and this movie promises to contain basically nothing but that tied loosely together with some nonsensical dialogue in between. This is gonna be my new favorite movie. 

Ooh Nestle Quik syrup! I forgot about Nestle Quik. 

Favorite line: “There is a time and a place for calypso music, young lady.”

Ohhh I see what this is gonna be - Janey (SJP) is a classically trained dancer and gymnast, and Jeff (Lee Montgomery) is more of a rough and tumble music video kinda guy from the streets. You can tell cause he’s got a motorcycle and a leather jacket. And he wears cutoff sleeves! He’s a white guy in Chicago, who could be more street than that? And they’re butting heads! How will they ever be able to make it work for the big dance contest??

How did Natalie know Janey’s phone number? She specifically said it was unlisted. Unless she remembers it from overhearing it offhand after the dance tryouts...? That’s insane, I can’t even remember what I wore yesterday let alone a 7-digit number someone shouted in a crowd.

Lynne Fashion Alert: Is she wearing a belt made out of bullets? And a Davy Crocket hat. This is galaxy brain lesbian fashion. If the costume designer for this movie didn’t win 10 Oscars...

The music director on the other hand...not sure what is up with all these weird KidzBop covers of excellent songs like “Dancing in the Street” or the titular “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” but if you’re gonna include them, you gotta spring for the originals. This is just sad. 

I’ve never been at a party with an ice sculpture. I think that’s how you know you’re among the rich. 

Whatever happened to Jonathan Silverman? I miss when he was the nebbishy sidekick in every 80s movie. 

Who enters a party by catapulting through the damn window?? Punk does not mean that you no longer know how to use doors, sir! 

Who serves a full roasted turkey at a party? Is this how rich people live? This feels like the equivalent of using Google translate to identify rich people food in another language, then translating it back to English. 

Lynne Fashion Alert: Now I think she has space shuttles in her hair.

Wow we got a real 1-2 punch of sexual harassment in this club. Who wrote this Tune in Tokyo gag and was like “You know what would be hilarious? If this shitty little nerd convinced this girl to raise her arms so he can just grab her boobs full on, front and center. And then she gets upset and runs away. God I’m good at this *snorts another line*”

Lynne Fashion Alert: Now it’s two globes (like, two Earths) with crab claws on them? This is a choice that I don’t understand, but I think I may just not be seeing what it is clearly. I am digging her mirror sunglasses though. 

I know Janey is smart but when did she learn how to hotwire a security system? It’s not like Google or Youtube existed, and I doubt there was a library book about how to dismantle that specific system. MYTH BUSTED.

Oh god oh no I’m so gay for these Dixon sisters from Kansas City, these two gorgeous black women in tuxes and spandex leotards. They 100% should have won this dance contest. 

Why did guys stop wearing crop tops? Can we bring back slutty quarterback as a fashion trend for dudes? Seriously, the costume design here is everything. 

I really love Jeff and his little family - his sister and his dad are so proud of him and supportive. You never see that in dance narratives featuring guys. I like the reversal here of gendered expectations.

Did I Cry? No, but my heart was warmed at various moments. 

Honestly, why can’t more narrative arcs in movies be solved via dance battle? 

Lynne Fashion Alert: She’s now dressed as...Cleopatra? Wait why the fuck is there a horse here? 

Oh that’s it that’s the end! Man, you can’t be mad at a tight 90 min film like this - it gets in, it gets out, bing bang boom you’re done with enough time to read before bed. 

Is this a cinematic masterpiece? No. But is it good clean fun? Absolutely. Barring the brief [obligatory 80s] sexual harassment scene, there’s very little to be upset with here. Kids wanna dance, they’re told they can’t dance, they dance anyway! It’s the power of dance! You’re either into it or you’re not, but if you’re not, I ask that you search your heart and try to find one teeny tiny sliver of joy inside it. You’re gonna need to feed that joy if you wanna make it through 2021, and watching this movie is a darn good place to start. 

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[whumpprompts]

Songs that inspire me

I love music. It’s probably my number one source of inspiration. And since I’m probably not alone in this, I decided to put together a little list of songs that inspire me. I divided them by the inspiration, since different songs inspire different kinds of things. Maybe this can be helpful to some of you! 

Naturally, there are more songs that I listen to than just these, but these are the ones that inspire me the most. 

List under the cut!

Happy platonic love :’)

Aka all things sweet, bromantic, and lovey - songs that say “I would die for you” and make me want to write some fluffy found family.  

save me from the monster in my head by Welshly Arms. // Cute, soft, loving music. Lyrics tell about the feeling of hopelessness and fear, and asking the other person to stay by their side and save them. This was released last week and oh boi I love it.

Brother by Kodaline. // One of my favorite songs. Slow and tender. Chorus says “If I was dying on my knees, You would be the one to rescue me, And if you were drowned at sea, I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe.” Need I say more? Ultimate bromance. 1000/10.

All My Friends by The Revivalists. // I don’t know what genre this is. Modern rock, maybe?? No idea. Also idk what sort of vibe this song gives off, but it gives a vibe. I just love the lyrics! The me-person of the song is in their twenties, living their best life, getting high with their friends. They know the friends will stay by their side. Not too emotional of a song, but it’s so cute! The music is happy and the singer sounds good.

Up Down by Boy Epic. // This song has a more cinematic sound to it. Lots of instruments, it sounds amazing. And honestly, I don’t even know why this song reminds me of familiar/platonic love so much, but it does. The lyrics that go “I’m barely breathing, but I’ll follow you down” and “Still fighting my demons, but I’ll follow you down” just hit me somewhere so deep into my emotions, it’s amazing.

My Blood by Twenty One Pilots. // The sound is cute, but I have no idea how to describe it. More pop-ish than rock-ish, and it’s energetic but not too much so. It’s very bromancy, and I adore the lyrics. It’s all about “I’ll go with you,” which, thanks to this song, has become a phrase I want to use in my book at some point. 

Carry You by Ruelle. // Slow, tender, sweet, so loving???? Picks up towards the end, so it also has a slight cinematic feel to it. The me-person swears to keep carrying you when you can’t find your own wings. You’ve lost the will to fight, but she’ll stay by your side. It’s... so many shades of beautiful. The pinnacle of love. it does not get more tender than this. 1000000000/10. But also kinda sad? So this definitely belongs to both categories, this one and the one that comes after this.

Hold on for Your Life by Tommee Profitt, ft. Sam Tinnesz. // A cinematic song that starts out very slow and sad but gradually builds up, and it sounds AMAZING. The me-person is begging for someone to hold on, to not let go - they refuse to say goodbye, because it can’t be time yet. The me-person is also afraid, but they vow “no matter where you go, I’ll find you.” I wasn’t sure whether to put this song into this group or the next one, because it’s kind of both; it’s sad, but also powerful and loving.

.

Not so happy platonic love

Aka all things angsty and broken. These songs say “You’re gone but I need you, please don’t leave me alone” or “you aren’t the person I know anymore,” and make me want to take that found family and tear them from each other in the angstiest, cruelest way imaginable.

Brother by Sam Tinnesz. // This song is half acoustic, half.. not. And since I am a sucker for acoustic guitar, I love the sound. The lyrics are angsty as hell! The me-person’s brother has lost his way, and has apparently done something bad or turned evil, and the me-person is scared and worried for him. At the end, they deem “I can’t save you.”

Hell or High Water by Billy Raffoul. // I’d like to thank the video game Days Gone for showing me this song. It’s slow, emotional, and only has guitar for the music. It’s just... aaaah. The me-person has lost their loved one and is, naturally, heartbroken, but they vow not to give up because the loved one wouldn’t want them to. This is a gorgeous song. 

Man or a Monster by Sam Tinnesz, ft Zayde Wolf. // Some sort of rock, but the slower kind. Builds up towards the end. They ask the question, “are you a man or a monster?” and can’t tell which side “you” are on. Whether or not this is aimed at a platonic loved one is up to interpretation, since I don’t think the song ever specifies who it’s singing to, but that’s how I’ve chosen to see it because it sounds more longing than angry.

.

Fuck you, you can’t win, you can’t hold me down, go die, I am (or will be) amazing

Aka all the songs that show a middle finger to some evil, annoying entity, and swear to beat them. These make me want to write a scene where the protagonist gains second wind and faces against the antagonist.

Middle Finger by Bohnes. // Again, a style of music I can’t put into a genre. But it sounds powerful and victorious in a... I don’t know, youthful, cocky way? Not too heavy, definitely more pop-ish than rock-ish. The lyrics go “So I put my middle finger up, I’m done being your slave” and “Fists are clenched, I'm fighting, Soul has been ignited, Ain't got time for dyin'.” I’ve known this song for years but I always come back to it when I need this type of motivation.

New Kings by Sleeping Wolf. // Not too fast, but it sounds... dedicated, in a way. Like the singer has really had enough. It’s some type of rock, I guess? And the lyrics all about how the enemy will not win - the heroes refuse to “lay down and die,” and they refuse to stop until they all see that they’re the new kings. Also, I love the part where he sings “And you call yourselves an army?” like yesssss burn them!!!

Bury Me Face Down by grandson. // One of my favorite songs!! A mix between rock and rap, in an alternative sort of way? Not too fast, not too slow. He sings about an army fighting him, but that he won’t give up - and when he dies, you gotta bury him face down. He’s been on the run for his whole life, and he is no stranger to trouble. “It’s only just begun.” 

White Flag by Bishop Briggs. // Some sort of rock again. Powerful, unrelenting. I heard this years ago, but I still come back to it whenever I need a song that sounds good and is about not surrendering. The me-person vows never to wave their white flag - she’s going to keep fighting until she wins. Also, the line “Don't you know I ain't afraid to shed a little blood?” hits me so hard into my “omg that’s amazing please never stop” nerve, it’s amazing.

Chosen One by Valley of Wolves. // Rock that also gives a very subtle country-vibe to me, but I don’t listen to country and I have no idea what it sounds like so it might not :D I like their rhythm though! The song is positive but not too so. It’s basically all about how the me-person is the chosen one and how he’ll overcome any obstacle. 

(Also most other songs by Valley of Wolves. All I’ve heard have been about “I’m the best, I will beat you, I will win. Especially the songs Born Bold, Keep on keeping on, Ready for the Fire, Lions Inside, Out for Blood, and Now’s My Time. I don’t listen to them much anymore but they used to inspire me a lot so I’m throwing them out there.)

.

The battle has been long and I don’t know if we can win anymore - but we need to keep trying

Aka the songs that are all about the desperate, hopeless fight no one thinks they can win anymore. These make me want to write a suicide mission, but not the explosive kind - more like the kind that starts with the characters crying and begging the suicide-person not to go, and ends with the survivors crying for the one who sacrificed themselves for the others.

Soldier by Tommee Profitt, ft Fleurie. // A slow cinematic song full of sadness that gradually builds up. Fleurie’s voice is amazing. The singer begs the Soldier to keep marching on through the dangers and hardships. One of my favorite go-to songs of all time when writing/planning this type of scene.

Heroes by Valley of Wolves. // Slower, emotional, lots of instruments which I love! Gets gradually stronger as well. There is a fight that seems hopeless, but they refuse to give in. But they also sing “Who will save us?” and “Sometimes you gotta let it go, leave it up to a hero.”

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I’m alone, and honestly, the world would be better off if I died (OR everything has gone to shit in general)

Aka the songs that are full of self-loathing. These are so useful for writing scenes where the character has lost everything. They’re at their lowest point and wonder if they even have a reason to keep fighting anymore - and they blame themselves for it. (OR the songs where things has gone to shit in general - the me-person may not blame themselves, but things are still very bad.)

Rock Bottom by grandson. // The non-self-loathing kind. Typical grandson sound, a mix of rap and rock and pop that sounds so damn good. “Tell me how did we get here? And where the fuck do we go now?” sums up the song - they’ve hit rock bottom and they don’t know how to get up anymore.

The Mystic by Adam Jensen. // Slower and angsty! A soft sound. Some type of rock. The me-person is a drug addict who’s hit their lowest point. He tries to stay clean, but his family has abandoned him, and he thinks no one is going to worry or even notice if he went missing - not until they found his body from the river.  

Losing Hold by Esterly, ft. Austin Jenckes. // Oh my GOD, this is The Angstiest song I’ve ever heard. The singer sings to a “you,” describing how you’re looking at your “last chance down below” and how you’re losing hold. This is the PERFECT song for writing/brainstorming scenes where a character is truly and utterly hopeless, broken, and alone. Everything about this song sounds what being hopeless feels like - the lyrics, the music, the singer’s voice... An amazing song. 10000/10.

Down So Low by Royal Deluxe. // Slow, a bit darker. Another song directed to a “you.” Basically, the whole song is the singer telling you how badly you fucked everything up and how it’s all your fault even though you keep blaming others. It also gets kinda hopeless. “How deep into the ground can one man dig a hole?” and “Leaving you crying out, ‘have mercy on my soul!’”

Despicable by grandson. // Slow, dark, self-loathing intensifies. “If I were you, I wouldn’t love me neither.” I don’t really listen to this song that much, but it’s great for brainstorming those kind of extremely hopeless scenes.

. 

Miscallenous 

Aka songs that inspire me in some other ways!

Solo by Prismo. // A nice mix between rock and, eh, electronic, I guess? This is a genre that I like a lot. Honestly, it’s probably called alternative rock. But anyway! This me-person is alone and he’s teaching himself to feel better. This inspires me with like, the positive change a character might go through. 

Sinners by Barns Courtney. // THE VOICE. Mmmm god his voice is the best voice I have ever heard. Basically, this is like softer rock. It has a really soft, pleasant, slower sound with lots of guitar. Nice. It’s about this me-person who’s low on luck, and he’s drinking with a bunch of “sinners.” He also sings “I must be good for something” which kinda inspires me to write a very specific character in a very specific scene. So it’s kinda, “I’ve been fucked over by lady luck but we can still drink tonight” mixed with some hope that maybe he isn’t a totally worthless good-for-nothing.

Pilgrims by New Dialogue. // Some sort of pop, alternative-ish, maybe? Super happy-sounding. They want to be pilgrims and settle somewhere better, somewhere safer. “Where we’re going, you could be anyone.” Honestly, this sounds like the ending soundtrack to a movie about a group of family who struggled to find a new, safe home in some foreign, scary land. It’s so... “yay!” :D sounds very happy. It inspires me in the “and they lived happily ever after” sort of way.

Who Will Save Your Soul by Esterly, ft. Young Youth. // Honestly, I have no idea what type of genre this is. It’s... a little cinematic, little rock-ish, little electronic, little pop-ish, little rap-ish. So :D yeah. But it is a good song! I mostly listen to it for the chorus that says “Who will save your soul, after the lies you told them, who will save your soul if you won’t save your own?” Idk. It’s a good song. Inspires me to create bad guys.

Listen Out Loud by DREAMERS. // A song I only discovered a few days ago. Pretty happy and pop-ish, the singer has a great voice. He sings about looking for answers in the world and finding them from all around himself when he listens out loud. It’s a message that inspires me to write a specific type of character - the type who’s curious and happy and seeks to understand the world.

We’re Tired by The Blancos ft Joyner Lucas. // Sounds so fucking good?? And honestly, this is an amazing song about the shittyness of selfishness, inequality, and oppression in general, which I love, but I also love this because it sounds so emotional and makes me want to write dystopian. 

[zrtranscripts]

Home Front, Mission 5: Peter’s Movie Nights (And Days)

Cinematic Masterpiece

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: Hello, runners! Peter here, broadcasting from the gorgeous Princess Louise Theater, an independent cinema a few miles outside Abel. We're going to start working out in a minute, so whilst I'm talking, I suggest doing some light warm-up exercises. Jogging on the spot, stretching, anything that gets your heart rate up.

Right. So muggins here thought it'd be a brilliant idea to loot some cinema equipment for Abel movie night, but the moment I got here, the horde descended, so I've barricaded myself in the projection box and the auditorium is full of zoms. Although as long as there's a film playing, they're too fixated on the screen to come looking for me, but uh, I am trapped for the foreseeable. Still, I can think of worse ways to pass the time than watching The Fantastic Light Trip.

Do you remember this? The uh, sci-fi jukebox musical, came out a few years before the apocalypse. I know everyone made fun of it for having a totally nonsensical plot, but it ruled the box office for months! The Princess Louise actually hosted sing-along screenings, which um, even the zoms appear to like, clearly. Um, sorry. Anyway, uh, Janine thought it would help everyone who's in a similar state of stuckness if I used my impressive fitness experience to lead some Ministry-approved exercises, so let's start with a dance warm-up. Sam said if I plug this cable into – yep. [cable zaps] You should then be able to hear the music from the film when I press this button! Right. Get ready everyone, and dance!

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: Well, that's not the first song I'd think of to soundtrack an inter-species dance-off, but yeah, I think it works. Er, kind of. I wanted us to watch the Fantastic Light Trip as a group. You cry with laughter at the Dance of the Seven Tentacles. You cry with, I mean, just cry at the ending. The song right before they go into hyperspace always gets me. I came to the cinema to bring people together and now everyone's apart. Except for the zombies, obviously. Well, they've got loads of company. Just because we're not in the same place doesn't mean we can't exercise together. We're a team, runners, even if we're far apart.

So now that we're all warmed up, let's do some jumping jacks. Right, you stand with your feet together and your arms by your sides. Then you jump, spreading your legs whilst you're in the air so that you land with them about shoulder-width apart. Now jump back to the starting position. Got that? Great. Now do it again, except this time, swing your arms up over your head at the same time as you spread your legs, then swing them back down as you bring your feet back to the center. Let's give that a go. Good job, runners! I assume. Let's keep it going.

If you're not able to jump right now, keeping your blood pumping with some dance moves is a great alternative. You could uh, walk from side to side instead of jumping, but keep up those arm movements and if you're the sort of person who likes a challenge, Janine, why not try spreading your arms and legs and moving them back to the center whilst you're still in the air? Right, now keep whatever you're doing up as long as you can whilst I turn the music back on for the next song.

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: Nice work, runners! Tell you, you really jumped the hell out of those jacks. Oh, great, this is the feast scene. You know, where all of the um, the alien food starts singing. Um, I tell you what. Speaking of which, how's everyone eating? I know we've had to improvise ever since the apocalypse, but we have to be especially creative now. For example, I have several sacks of popcorn and, thank God, a jar of vitamins I happened to loot on my way here. Would be nice to have something green, but lately I’ve found it's healthier not to worry about having the perfect diet and instead just notice how the food makes me feel. And it turns out munching a little popcorn whilst watching a movie feels pretty damn good.

Still, it's gonna feel even better to kick back and relax after releasing some endorphins, so let's do 60 seconds of squats. Was that a band? Or have I just been indoors too long? Uh, anyway, right. Squats. So squats, they build your leg muscles, which is handy if you ever need to, uh, just thinking off the top of my head here, carry a popcorn machine up two flights of stairs. So start by placing your feet just wider than hip-width apart, toes pointing only slightly outwards. Now stretch your arms out in front of you. Look straight ahead so that will help you engage your core and maintain good form. So you now send your hips down and back until they're just lower than your knees, as if you're about to sit down in a chair, and raise yourself back up. Nice. That's it.

So we're going to do that for one minute, or as long as you can comfortably manage, that's fine, and that's going to start now! Excellent! I'm assuming you're all doing this great. Uh, probably need to just slow down. Don't get carried away. Right, we're 15 seconds down. So I want you to try to really sit into the squat, right? Don't lead with your knees, sit into it. Halfway there. Right. Remember to keep your thighs in line with your feet. Don't let your knees start pointing inward or go over your toes because you're gonna be feeling that burden now, it's gonna make you sloppy. Don't do it. Right, 15 seconds to go. Just try and breathe in time with the movements if you can. [loudly inhales and exhales] In, out. Keep on going, and we're done! Oh, perfect, this is the time for the space cadets to do their musical training montage. Right, you take a dance break, or if you're up to it, just keep on squatting. I think I had a T-shirt with that on for a while.

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: Yeah, I'll admit it. Before the apocalypse, I was pretty proud of my body. And also after the apocalypse for a while. Some strange body things. I'll tell you about that later. Um, but lately I've learned that the best thing you can do for your body is actually just have a good relationship with it. You know, at the end of the day, it really is the only thing that will ever truly be yours. We runners, we can get quite utilitarian about our bodies, so if something stops us using it to get supplies such as an injury, or again, I'm just thinking off the top of my head, a horde of zombies, that can really get you down. But I'm here to tell you to be kind to your body, even if you can't do exactly what you want with it right now.

So why not start by giving it some exercise? This next move is the extremely nifty chair dip. So first, locate an armless chair. I'll just give you a couple of moments. Oh, there we go. Oh, that one looks great. So that-that should be a chair without arms. I wasn't saying a harmless chair, but I definitely would prioritize a harmless chair over a harmful one. Right, so now perch on the front edge of it, hands gripping the edges on either side of you. Lovely. So put your feet flat on the ground a little way in front of you and then you slide yourself down off the chair, lowering further down and then back up again, really using your arms.

Right, I'm going to believe that was a good job. So if that is too much or if you're worried about the flexibility in your shoulders, actually, punching the air is a genuine great upper body alternative. You do have to be careful not to fully extend or or lock your elbows, but whichever exercise you're doing, you are about to keep it up for as close to a minute as you can, starting any moment... now!

Excellent! Okay, again, don't get too over excited. We've got a whole minute to get through. Ease your way in, keep on breathing in and out. 15 seconds in. If you happen to want to make these chair dips more challenging, you can extend your legs further away so they're actually taking less of your weight. See? Makes it much harder than you thought, doesn't it? And we're halfway through! You really should be feeling that burn in your shoulders. Now that burn is what lets you know you're actually doing something. You're stretching yourself, pushing it. Keep on pushing it, but breathe! Nearly done, runners. Just 15 seconds left, in and out. Keep on going. You're almost at that finish line. You can see it, you can taste it, and time's up!

Nice work, everyone. And now you can reward yourself with a nice relaxing bop as the alien queen leads her subjects in their beautiful synchronized dance, or you could keep doing those chair dips if they're feeling particularly good.

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: So The Fantastic Light Trip, it did get just terrible reviews when it came out, but I love that the marketing team like, genuinely leaned into that mockery and that's helped it become a cult classic. And you know, just like them, we've gotten used to making the best of things. You know, looking for the good in every situation. We're just gonna have to look a bit harder for a while. Here, for example, I've only got access to one tiny window and it's in the toilet. It's just big enough for me to stick my arm out and get some delicious vitamin D. And it just means I don't have to worry about SPF. [laughs] Oh, nice try, sun. No skin damage for me!

Course, not everyone's lucky enough to even have a tiny window, or a toilet for that matter. I'll tellyou what. If your situation feels overwhelming, which it might, sometimes the last thing you honestly want to do is exercise, so here's something I used to tell people who came into one of the gyms I was in when they were feeling low. Just concentrate on being in your body and the physical sensation of moving.

And with that in mind, let's raise our heart rates and our moods with some high knees. So we're going to march vigorously on the spot for one whole minute, just like those plucky space cadets out there. Aim to bring your knees to waist height with each step, and begin!

Yes, excellent! Although I did say waist height. No compromise, all the way up. Keep on going. 15 seconds down. Pump the arms, too. It's not all about the knees. There we go, the blood's pumping. Feel it! Halfway there, runners. Lift those knees like you're trying to impress your cadet leader, which in this context is me, and I'm not yet impressed! Keep on going, pushing it. Only 15 seconds left. Keep the core engaged, keep yourself upright, keep the breath and the blood flowing. Feel the energy! And we're done! Just in time for The Fantastic Light Trip’s romantic leads to do their, let's be honest, just gorgeous duet. So take a dance break, or if you're up to it, keep on marching.

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: [sighs] I know, I know. It's a bit silly, since it is a romance between a wide-eyed space cadet and an exiled alien prince. But it's just, The Fantastic Light Trip, it's so sincere. We're never sincere, and you can't help but root for them. At least, I can't. You can't see, runners, but the whole cast is on screen now getting ready for the big finale. They're all smiling and yeah, actually, it reminds me of something else that I tried to tell people when I was leading classes. Did you know that studies show that if you smile while you exercise, it genuinely makes you feel better?

And listen, I know, I know. Really annoying when someone else tells you to smile. Boy, did I learn that the hard way with Janine. Won't be doing that again in a hurry. But it really is different if you're smiling for yourself. Just trust me and give it a try. I mean, the last song from The Fantastic Light Trip, it's so uplifting. We're gonna have a cool down dance to it. And while you're dancing, I just - you don't have to - I just encourage you to smile. Because you are here, and you are alive, and you deserve to feel good. And yes, you smile too, Janine, if you're listening. No one can see you, I promise.

~

[film projector runs]

PETER LYNNE: [sighs] And here we go. It's the uh, the part where the alien queen and the leader of the cadets, they finally agree to work together. So all that remains is uh, just to assemble the hyperdrive. Turns out all you need to end an intergalactic war is 20 rousing song and dance numbers. Need to remember to mention that to Janine the next time she's brainstorming our defense strategy.

See, it's now the whole cast and they're together and dancing onto the ship. And you know, they really did have that much fun doing it and, and they're arm in arm. Or well actually, to be fair, arm in tentacle. But then the hatch is closing. Blast off. [laughs] Oh, brava. Well, that raised the spirits! I suppose that's gonna be all from me for now, runners, because I'm gonna have to go find another film before the credits finish rolling and all the zoms start looking for something a little bit meatier to entertain themselves, i.e. moi. So until next time, look after yourselves please, and keep on smiling.

~

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Now I would like to ask you, in turn: Favorite acts/scenes from ten operas you love?

Thank you!!! You have no idea how much it makes me smile to see an ask in my inbox!!! Here goes, in no particular order:

Don Carlo: Ahhhhh well, I guess I have to choose something...maybe Act IV, Scene 1. You have Filippo’s big scene (ALL THE FEELS), the bass/bass showdown that is absolutely legendary, you have Elisabetta calling EVERYBODY out and being the strong, amazing woman she is, that phenomenal quartet, that scene for Elisabetta and Éboli that rips my heart out every time (seriously, I physically cannot listen to the line ‘Io...io stessa...avea...comm’esso!’ without crumpling. it’s bad.), and of course, you have perhaps the greatest mezzo aria of all time, ‘O don fatale’, to close it out. It’s just one phenomenal piece after another, and I love how much it focuses in on the characters and allows us to get to know them (ESPECIALLY the more morally dubious ones) a lot better.

Les Huguenots: As much as part of me is begging me to say Act IV, my heart is saying the last two scenes together (Act V, Scenes 2 and 3, which are often combined as Act V, Scene 2 or even as just Act V). This is for a lot of the same reasons as Act IV, Scene 1 of Don Carlo: (for the most part) this is essentially a huge trio in several movements with occasional interventions from the chorus and a couple other characters and I feel like every part just gets better and more intense and more heartbreaking...and I emotionally die in the middle every time. (Specifically, if not earlier, at the line ‘Ils ne chantent plus.’) Anyway the music slaps HARD (and I CANNOT with all the repetitions of ‘A Mighty Fortress Is Our God’), and once again, I just love how much this focuses in on our leading trio and lets us, the audience, get to know them that much better only to be like ‘okay now they’re gonna die’ DAMMIT THAT’S NOT GOOD FOR ANYBODY BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH anyway I need to stop writing so much for each of these because if I do it’ll take forever

La bohème: Act II, for a combination of sentimental reasons and the fact that it is just so good! You get the street scene with all those amazing choruses but you also get hijinks and love and happiness and it’s Puccini so you get great tunes. And of course, we all know that a) Musetta’s Waltz is an absolute BOP and b) we all secretly want to be Musetta. At least I do.

Dialogues des Carmélites: I am legally obligated to say the Salve Regina because a) it’s the scene that got me hooked on this opera, b) it’s an amazing piece of music, and c) THE FEELS I DIE EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even though I SHOULD know that the guillotine is going to happen it ALWAYS throws me off whenever it comes in for the first time and I’m like WTF WTF NOOOOOOOO and the part where Blanche comes back? kill me. just...kill me.

Un ballo in maschera: Act III, Scene 1! Once again this is a lot like Don Carlo, Act IV, Scene 1 because it’s a super-intimate scene and the music SLAPS from start to finish. Amelia and Renato/Anckarström’s arias are both incredible and make me feel ALL THE FEELS, and they’re also great at showing parts of their lives that we don’t really get to see much of elsewhere, respectively the mother and the lover. Then there’s the whole conspiracy trio-turned-quartet, which is amazing, AND THE LOT-DRAWING SCENE. It’s so creepy and extra and the music is just perfect for the scene. And of course, we top it off with Oscar coming in and being his delightful self while everyone else is either angsting or plotting and it’s all in one quintet that works??? so??? well??? like??? how???

Die tote Stadt: ‘Glück, das mir verblieb’ AND its return in the final scene. First off, it’s some of the most gorgeous, cinematic, heartbreaking music in all opera. Seriously, drop what you’re doing and go listen to it (especially the one with Carol Neblett and René Kollo). But also, it’s just this amazing, seemingly-simple little song that’s about grief and what it’s like to lose someone you love and it HURTS. Also, it’s like the one time in the entire opera when Paul and Marietta are actually getting along because pretty much everywhere else their relationship is INCREDIBLY messed up. And then the last verse coming back in the final scene, when Paul sings it alone as he finally works up the courage to move on, leave Bruges, and start over...I die every time.

Falstaff: While perhaps my favorite individual part of this opera is the finale, ‘Tutto nel mondo è burla’, my favorite scene is Act II, Scene 2, which is absolutely comedy GOLD from start to finish. It’s late Verdi so you know the music is going to be amazing, and it is, and it’s all so light and fizzy and just plain FUN. I also just love all the women working together to outsmart a creepy old guy, all the men being Clueless, Nannetta and Fenton just trying to get a moment together...and I love how much this scene makes fun of opera tropes, especially the “we’re going to stand around and sing about how we need to do something while not actually doing that thing” trope. Also, thank you Shakespeare, Verdi, and Boito for the laundry basket stuff. That is absolutely priceless.

Tosca: This could be a veritable coin flip between the finales to Acts I and II (if nothing else, you have to acknowledge that Puccini knew how to end an act. he did.), but I’ll go with the finale to Act II. Obviously I love MURDER TIME and everything Tosca is screaming at Scarpia (and yes, ‘Questo è il bacio di Tosca!’ is arguably the best line ever) and the music for that part is so amazing, but my favorite thing is actually what happens afterwards...the one melody that keeps coming back (the daa-daa-daa-da-da-da-da-DAAAAA) is so awesome, I love the line ‘E avanti a lui tremava tutta Roma!’, and pulled off well, this can tell you so much about Tosca and everything she’s going through. I love it.

Die Zauberflöte: Anytime Papageno is onstage (yes he is also my favorite character) OR ‘Der Hölle Rache’. I love Papageno for a lot of the same reasons you do; he’s fun, he’s a sweetheart, he doesn’t really want to get involved in all this Masonic mess, he just wants true love and happiness. And all his music is amazing. And then of course, Der Hölle Rache is just absolutely iconic and terrifying as hell and I NEVER get tired of hearing sopranos hit those high Fs. I love.

Faust: The Cathedral Scene (depending on the version, this could be Scene 1, Scene 2, OR Scene 3 of Act IV because Act IV of this opera, and directors’ stagings of it, are weird). This is one of those rare soprano/bass or bass-baritone duets in opera and the music is absolutely incredible (THE PIPE ORGAN). Even more than that, I love it because it’s so great at portraying psychological trauma/disintegration because no matter where this scene is placed Marguérite has experienced some Extremely Bad Things and has an incredible amount of shame and Catholic Guilt and she’s trying to keep things together but Mephistopheles is just taunting her about how terrible of a person she must be and Marguérite is just trying to hold it all together and she’s praying and trying not to lose her mind but everything just seems like it’s condemning her and she just. can’t. deal. with. it. I mean...damn it’s an intense scene.

[draken049]

Godzilla King of The Monsters Review

So...the other day I went and finally seen Godzilla King of The Monsters and holy balls was it amazing. I have not been filled with so many different emotions from any Godzilla film before this one. Shin came close but King of The Monster?

...It was beautiful. The whole movie is beautiful. The story is simple, the message is clear and standard for the franchise, the characters both human and monster were amazing. The score was heart wrenching and it makes any fan feel like they are watching a pride and true Godzilla film from the homeland of Japan.

I was sitting in a theater room with only six other people, three couples, all of which had an affection for the franchise and the character of Godzilla. By the time the credits rolled, all of us were clapping and even some, myself included, were crying. IT’S ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL THAT THIS MOVIE IS DOING POORLY...though...it’s not the movies fault...no. In fact, this is really on the hands of Hollywood and the blatant pacing issue it has. This movie is by definition a definitive summer blockbuster but thanks to Avengers Endgame...-grumble grumble grumble- another awesome movie...-grumble grumble grumble- being THE box office monster that it’s been, there just wasn’t any spare change for the film that is undoubtedly the better film for summer. Then of course there was also Detective Pikachu and John Wick Chapter 3 and Aladdin...just too many large named movies coming out within such a short span. There’s no room to breathe, at all and I believe that among these large movies, they all could have benefit if they were not released on the heels of Avengers Endgame.

Now with my two cents being said, I would absolutely love to point out that this is NOT, I repeat, IS NOT your typical Hollywood movie. It just isn’t and you’d be lying to yourself if you said otherwise. What I saw was a movie made by a devout fan of Godzilla, made for the people who LOVE and CHERISH each film in the franchise. This is a movie that was fun filming, fun creating and it made itself known that this IS a Godzilla movie. If you say that the characters are trash, the plot is trash, or the monsterverse is trash...then I’m sorry, you should just stop watching these movies all together or go back and watch the older movies. Yea, you can have your opinions but they’re wrong, they straight up just are. 

Non-Spoiler Territory Ahead

There’s so much this film does right and none that I can see that would make it deserve ill-wanted words. The tone of the movie is excellent. It provides us as viewers with an ever escalating landscape. There’s much more to lose here than there was in Godzilla (2014), that if something isn’t done, we’re going to be in for a world of hurt. The world is affected by the actions of Jonah and his eco-terrorism group to the point that even they would be affected if the source of the problem wasn’t dealt with. 

The character dynamics between Emma, Madison and Mark are simplified but nonetheless strong. It’s your typical family member lost, dad becomes a spiraling drunk, mom isolates herself and arguably loses her sanity and the daughter is left with the fallout from both but is forced to be by moms side. There’s much talk and allusion to redemption which is strongly paid off by two parties, even though I think one was less deserving than the other. Jonah has a motive that is much larger than just some action film bad guy and it needs to be known that he only partially succeeds but never fully gets what he wants. This gives him every reason to be the dark human element of Godzilla vs. Kong. Even by the time the credits rolled, you could tell exactly that he was planning something far more dangerous than what we were given. Dr. Serizawa is a penultimate character that is the yin to Godzilla’s yang. We see that he is still a devout believer that Godzilla is the key to balance among the Titans. His interaction and care for the large deity is something to really behold and it absolutely tugs your heart when it comes to giving the big lovable guy a good kick in the nuclear tank. 

The monsters themselves are all unique despite only seeing like what? Four new titans? The behemoth(????), the octo-spiderboi, a second female muto, and the large mountainboi. They are each dynamic in a way that they almost encapsulate a piece of cinematic history in the areas if which they appeared which I really wouldn’t put past Michael Dougherty because he is a horror anthology guru. However, the four that really shine above the rest are Rodan, Ghidorah, Godzilla and Mothra. 

Rodan; The Fire Demon...such a badass moniker. His initial appearance really draws on his Showa portrayals, being associated with the volcanos that both take and giveth his life. His design is MUAH, perfection. The mix of traditional reptile skin and possible fire feathers really give Rodan a naturalistic but also a unique look for the world of the Monsterverse. I really think he is the most animalistic of the four titular Titans, his actions reflective to that of an eagle or hawk but also as an aggressive bird when Ghidorah finally enters Rodans airspace. 

Godzilla; King of the Monsters...a much deserving title for the apex super predator. I was well and truly shocked when it’s revealed that Godzilla is or was worshiped by ancient peoples of an advanced civilization. His mannerisms, animalistic display intelligence and cunning flesh him out to be this thinking creature. His reservations about humanity is just but he develops an inherent trust of humanity thanks to Dr. Serizawa. It’s this trust that makes Godzilla feel like this unsung and much needed hero of the world. His leadership and stature among the worlds Titans seems akin to Aaragorns position when he finally takes up the mantle of king in Lord of the Rings. They both now have lives to look over and keep in line, to be the order and balance that the title of king implies. I want to point out that with the revelation that Godzilla has an actual home and was worshiped, that this is inspired from the Heisei Gamera films where an advanced civilization create Gamera in order to defend them from the Gyoas. All Alpha models of Gamera were sunk to the bottom of the ocean floor, creating this vast landscape of ancient bodies. The feeling there feels identical to the feeling you get when entering Godzilla’s domain. 

Ghidorah...The One Who Is Many...Sweet baby Zilla...All I can say is that this Ghidorah, this false king, is by far the most intricate, the most developed and the most critically thinking version of Ghidorah in the history of the franchise. He is not one creature but three and feels like three creatures with one body. Each head thinks and acts independently, the right is the follower but hyper aggressive, more so than the middle head. The right will do what is needed by the middle while the middle head is actively the leader. This one is unique because it looks like he is the one pulling the strings, the one actively strategizing and the one getting things done. The left head, I think is adorable...is liiiike just there it feels like. He’s a crucial part to Ghidorah sure but he seems like that one dog who’s hell bent on barking at you but gets distracted when he sees a squirrel and then all of his attention is on that one squirrel. I love it. I really do because it just solidifies that this Ghidorah has independent thought for each head, allowing it different personalities. His roar is genuinely terrifying but also sounds pretty damn close to the his Toho counterpart in the same way Rodan and Godzilla sound similar to their Toho counter parts. 

Mothra...my mothra...GOD WHY IS SHE SO FREAKING PERFECT!?!?!?!?!?! Mothra; The Queen of the Monsters...She is so beautiful, so majestic and hands down THE best monster of the movie for me. What makes her stand out from her Toho incarnations is that this gorgeous lady is actively searching for Godzilla. She doesn’t wish to fight him and as the film suggests, the two have a symbiotic relationship. To me, I believe that the Mosura and Gojira species actively fight together or at the very least come to the aid of one another. Her hovering over the location of Godzilla’s home seems to be odd at best if she were just looking to fight. Now that doesn’t mean I think the two go for booty calls with one another like Barnes thinks. Though, I do feel like this Mothra is highly sentient if not overly tied to the notion of her species naturally fighting alongside Godzilla’s species. She is also a reaallllll scrapper, even though most of her time was spent fighting Rodan. I would have loved loved LOVED to see her fight against Ghidorah at full strength. Her song also plays which is a newly created version of her 1961 musical composition. Any time that she’s on screen and that music plays, I will cry cry cry CRY!!! It’s beautiful in every sense of the word. Her devotion to Godzilla is admirable and her assistance is amazing. 

The climactic battle is a sensation of fighting, roars, destruction’s galore, and a visual spectacle. By the end and Godzilla standing tall, your heart will be filled bliss. However, stand tall until the after credits scene!

LITTLE RANT

So I’m not gonna say what’s at the end for the after credits scene, or at least not until I make a Spoiler Ridden Review but I see so many people claim that mechas or a Mecha-Godzilla type weapon will come to fruition. Yea, okay it’d be cool but where the bloody hell are you going to get that much finite resources let alone a power source strong enough to run the damn thing? Just because the military has a flying super carrier doesn’t mean that a Super X weapons system or a Mecha-Godzilla is going to come to the monsterverse any time soon. When this franchise began (the Monsterverse), it was clear that these movies are grounded in a reality where our resources are not unlimited. You have to stop and think about just how much it’d be to cost for these kinds of weapons let alone if it’s going to work. The amount of metals and other resources you need, it’s just unruly. Maybe if we found a way to harvest resources from stars or planets then sure but in the reality of the Monsterverse, that’s just not going to happen.

FINAL VERDICT: 10000000/10 MUST SEEE!!!!

[all-brown-everything]

My favourite Indian films of 2018

Sorry for the wait this year. 2018 in the movies mirrored my own life a lot; the films on the list are films to love, make you feel something human, and they force you to take their characters and hold them close to your chest as if they were your own. While the most interesting mainstream movies from South Asia over previous years on this blog have excelled when they chose to experiment with the language of cinema itself, the 10 I’ve written about here have, similar to great literature, embraced pain, longing, love and everything else that comes with being alive.

10. Theevandi

I’ve seen this film being described as an “anti-smoking movie.” I couldn’t disagree more. It’s a story about the nature of habit (rather than the disease of ‘addiction’), of locating the source of your personality, your soul, and trying to change it against the will of nature. During my time in India this year, nothing brought more joy than an ice burst and cutting tea at the side of the road, perching on the side of the pavement and watching life carry on around you. And while this is a film with a main character who wants to quit smoking, it isn’t about cancer. It isn’t about that horrible sooty smell at the end of your fingers, or yellowing teeth or a decreased sperm count. It’s about how something as innocuous as a tube of rolled up tobacco hanging out of your mouth can act as a fragile crutch for the entire weight of the world.

9. Laila Majnu

Like many of my favourites this year (and every year), this re-telling of one of South Asia’s most important romances wants to know what love is. Here, we see love not as a generous, giving emotion, but as pure greed. With one of Bollywood’s most gorgeous soundtracks, that bleeds furiously out of every frame, and a constant sparkling gleam of glamour over these gorgeous young actors and the Kashmiri hills they prance around in, I enjoyed this enough just based on the commercial tropes it toys with for fun. But its real beauty lies in its brave and painful final declaration; that the most divine love may connect you to God and remove your soul from your body, but it will destroy you and your connections to the Earth, as the cruelest form of asceticism.

8. Cake

I’m including a Pakistani movie (again) because our film industries were birthed under one national identity, and I don’t see the studios of Karachi as any more culturally distant from Mumbai’s Film City than Kodambakkam. Moving to Cake, this stunning portrait of a dysfunctional family surprised me against all my instincts that it was a Western-facing production clearly aimed at piercing its way into festivals and a patronising ‘World Cinema’ bracket. It is in fact, a study of shifting societal politics in an increasingly extreme and polarised World, of figuring out where your values stand in the midst of religion, feudalism and globalisation, and accepting that when these heavy, abstract concepts weigh down on your shoulders, it is the human beings around you who will feel the strain first.

7. Golak, Bugni, Bank Te Batua

I really love Punjabi cinema. Seeing it come into its own and reclaim its cultural narratives and aesthetics from bastardizing Bollywood (where now even a film set in rural Gujarat will feature a Punjabi language song) has brought a lot of joy. Now here comes a  happy little film not set on preaching the glory of Sikkhi or telling an epic tale of brave warriors or earnest farmers, but on bringing us into the lives of a middle class Hindu Punjabi family in a small mohalla of a tier 2 city. And these aren’t the Hindu “Punjabis” of a Bollywood movie set in Chandni Chowk, who might throw in a “tussi” or “tuadi” here and there at the most. These are real people with a real culture, as intertwined with Punjab and their Sikh neighbours as they are separate. The film doesn’t patronise them by drawing humour from their novel identity; the situational character-based slapstick and witty back-and-forth theatrical dialogues exist in a warm parallel with the “World” of the movie. And then the lives of these people change in one instant as demonetisation hits, and we are hilariously reminded that whether you’re Hindu or Sikh, Northern or Southern, you are (unfortunately) still in India.

6. C/o Kancharapalem

I won't say this film stood out as a "Telugu movie", as such slight, subtle films are an anomaly no matter what language they're made in or how brash those other films produced in the same mother tongue may be. These small and quiet tales, with their shy characters who live at the fringes of society, whether that mean they are Muslim prostitutes or simple middle class teachers carving out a living in a small village, are special because they manage to transmit such humanity without stirring from the dark alleyways or shaded courtyards where they take place. Not every film needs to stand tall like an intimdsting Tolstoy tome; some can be as unassuming as an RK Narayan novella and still make us feel like they're an epic.

5. Pyaar Prema Kaadhal

Let's be honest. Casting two leads from a reality show, putting heart shaped balloons in your posters and deciding on the title "Love, Love, Love" pretty much screams "trash" doesn't it? But here was a humbling reminder that Indian popular culture can surprise you in the most pleasant of ways. These two good-looking young wannabe-stars and their social media followings represent so much about the "new India", a steadfastly singular culture (or cultures) whizzing through the fiery hoops of globalisation at breakneck speed, coming to terms with a mixed up value system, raging sexual frustration and an ever widening class gap, all of which have left a generation feeling more connected yet more alienated than ever before. This is 'Pyaar, Prema, Kaadhal', a flawed and horny love story, sweating with tension and all the repulsive angst of human emotion, yet with the glamorous musical heart of Indian cinema still beating loudly underneath.

4. Manmarziyaan

There was as much to love about 'Manmarziyaan' as there was to hate. The age-old filmi love triangle rears its head again, only this time with characters who are more manipulative and frustrating than any you've seen in a "mainstream" movie before. But while the film never forces you to judge (at times leaving you confused about whether you're actually supposed to like any of these people) it demands that you engage. It's encouraged some of the finest writing on cinema I've seen in recent years, and such an unashamedly "Bollywood" film inspiring this thrilling thought and analysis from our finest critics (whether their judgement is kind or not) warrants its inclusion on this list alone. Then there's the way its incredible soundtrack weaves in and out of scenes like the characters own breaths, the way life changing moments are obscured from the script by deafening silences and acutely observed minutiae, and of course THAT lead performance. I'm not sure if I "liked" it or not, but I sure as hell can't wait to watch it again.

3. Pari

The better the film, the harder it is to write about. 'Pari' is rich with metaphor. While being a ghost story (and a damn good one) merely on the surface, it has plenty to say about the way our society treats women, poses the question of if we can truly be born evil, and even critiques our savage treatment of "the other" in a global society where more of us are on the run than settled in our homes. But I think its biggest strength is that while it challenges you to reach into the very centre of your being and take a look at yourself and the World around you, its craft and screenwriting is so good that not at any moment does it give you a second to realise that's what you're doing.

2. Rangasthalam

'Rangasthalam' is so great. Like really really great. Once an innocuous muscle man, Ram Charan has channelled his inner Dhanush and located his physicality, writhing and slanging his way into the mind and body of the quintessential South Indian rural hero, hoisting his lungi and flicking his beedi into one of the most visceral and truly cinematic masala movies in living memory. The thumping pace and kinetic choreography (both of the rousing song sequences and the busy, lived-in frames of the rest of the movie) evoke a dusty, violent world with the same panache of Ameer in 'Paruthiveeran' or Sasikumar in 'Subramaniyapuram', while the moustache twirling dialogues and meticulous emotional beats offer as much pure fun as a "Dabangg" or a "Khakee" or any classic Hindi masala movie. I've read pieces linking the cinema of 'Rangasthalam' to film noir traditions, but to me it simply proved that the masala genre still has as much excitement to offer as any other.

1. Mukkabaaz

I'll remember 2018 as the year that Anurag Kashyap, previously India's frontrunner in the realm of "interesting" (but more often headscatching) cinema, stopped thinking with his very big brain and instead used his even bigger heart. His most straightforward film is undoubtedly his best, Hollywood-esque in its writing but firmly Indian in its sentiment. The scale is small - empty boxing arenas, bleak winding village paths and a cast plucked from the TV screen - but its emotions are pure opera. This is a timeless film, and though it laughs at the ridiculousness of modern India, poking a nasty smug finger at caste oppression, petty politics and the bureaucratic nightmare of simply trying to stay alive, it defies analysis. Much like the song at the centre of the story, the violently stunning 'Paintra', it only asks that you feel. And what more could we want from cinema?

I've had so much fun at the movies this year. From dancing to Dilbar in the cheap seats of G7 in Bandra to reciting Dhanush's Maari 2 dialogues at the bus stop outside Ilford Cineworld, Indian movies have continued to punctuate my life and bring me more joy than they have any right to. I can't wait to do this all again this year. What were the films that stirred you over the last 12 months? Let me know. Xx

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Mowgli:  Legend of the Jungle”

Bet you didn’t see this one coming, huh?

Ohh I am ready.

The snakeskin over the logo though!

CATE BLANCHETT IS DOING THE INTRO?!?

OK, I can see where Netflix might have stepped in.  Some of the CG doesn’t look as... cinematic as expected.

*gasps when Shere Khan enters the scene*

*jaw drops when Bagheera stumbles upon baby Mowgli for the first time*

Oh shit, he picked him up like right after Mowgli’s parents died!  Dang!

Stock baby sounds!

This music is gorgeous and I’m like 3 minutes in now.

I already love the feel to this already.  I mean, so far, it’s following some similar beats to the Disney movie but it feels fresh and authentic. 

*gasps when Tabaqui charges in*

The animation on Tabaqui is awesome.

Even the script feels different and I like it. 

Baloo!

*gasps when Shere Khan invades the council*

Oh my gosh, the eye movements Shere Khan does are totally Benedict Cumberbatch

“If you take on me... you take on the pack.”  Holy shit you guys.

“The day you miss your kill, the man-cub’s blood will run down my chin.”  HOly shit.

Wait, this was the intro?!?  Holy crap!

So... stand outs already for the animals are Akela, Bagheera, Tabaqui, and Shere Khan.

“We look it in the eye so that the soul doesn’t depart alone.”  *softly* Hoooooo.....

Oh my God, did he [Mowgli] just eat a bug?

*sighs in relief when the scorpion crawls off Mowgli’s face*

Oh my gosh, that landscape is gorgeous

*smiles when Mowgli starts playing with Bhoot*

Oh my gosh, who plays the older brother?

I really like the relationship established with Mowgli and the other wolves. 

*gasps when Baloo slaps one of the cubs for not paying attention*

“But I’ve never had one of my cubs fail.”  Lemme guess, Mowgli’s gonna fail in the practice run, isn’t he?

God, don’t follow the freaking monkey!  That is literally low hanging fruit!

Aaw, he [the baby monkey] looks cute.

Oh my gosh, now that I see Baloo’s teeth when he talks, I can’t stop seeing them.

One thing I like about Andy Serkis whenever he does motion capture, there’s a lot of attention to his eyes and mouth.  You can especially see it in the wrinkles around his eyes and the way the lines around his mouth crinkle too.

*mouths a cuss word when Mowgli is trapped underwater watching Shere Khan drink*

*sighs in relief when Shere Khan leaves*

Yeah no, he [Mowgli] should be dead.  He is freaking surrounded by SPIKES.  It was a TIGER TRAP.

*is left silent when the elephant rescues Mowgli*

Aren’t the elephants considered gods in the jungle?  Like all the animals have to avert their eyes whenever they pass or something?

Another detail that I like is that there’s always a hint of audio from the man village whenever anyone is not focused on events strictly related to the pack or the jungle.

Also, can we talk about how soft this Bagheera is toward Mowgli?

Mowgli... what are we doing?

*gasps when Tabaqui enters the camp right in front of Mowgli*

MOWGLI YOU BETTER FREAKING RUN

Holy shit, why are you talking to him [Tabaqui]?!?

OK, that scene between those two was actually pretty good.  It’s like, the main protagonist should not be interacting with the villain’s lackey as casual as this, but it helps as part of the plot and it’s not laughed off.

I’m gonna have to look up the rest of the cast list for this because it is supremely good.

God, Mowgli’s gonna fail the Running, isn’t he?

So is Bhoot the runt of the litter?

Holy crap this whole scene is intense.

MOWGLI GET BACK DOWN-

*immediately deflates when Bagheera catches Mowgli right before the finish line*

I am heartbroken.  Guys.  I am heartbroken.

“He targeted me.  He knows I’m the weakest.”  Guys...

*finally takes a breath*  Oh my God... guys, I was about ready to cry.

*gasps when the Monkey people take Mowgli in front of Bhoot*

WHY ARE YOU [Bagheera and Baloo] FIGHTING?!?

GUYS, STOP FIGHTING!

“Mowgli’s been taken by the Monkey people!”  Holy crap, does that mean Baloo and Bagheera are gonna go get Kaa to help them out?  Like in the book?

*winces when the Monkeys ram Mowgli’s head into a rock and knock him out*

What the...

*freezes when Shere Khan roars in the background*

Guys, this movie is actually pretty scary.  Not gonna lie.

*mouths along with Shere Khan when he says “My, my, how you’ve grown.”*

*winces when Shere Khan marks Mowgli*

Wait, do the Monkey people actually serve under Shere Khan in this version?

*gasps when Bagheera gets dragged under by the monkeys*

KAA!

Holy shit, this music [when Kaa chases away Shere Khan and the monkeys]

So how does the pack view Kaa?  I know Baloo said earlier that you wanted to avoid her at all costs, but.. that’s Baloo. 

Guys, I love Bhoot.  Protect him at all costs.

“Why do always want to be around me, Bhoot?”  DON’T DO THIS TO ME

“It’s something your mother tells you to make you feel better because you came out wrong!”  Oh my God...

Rohan Chand [the actor who plays Mowgli] is so good in this.  Round of applause.  I think I prefer him over the Disney version.

Oh my gosh, that little squint Kaa does is absolutely Cate Blanchett

*gasps when Akela misses catching his prey*

OHHH MY GOD THE MORPHING OF THE FACES

*is silent when Shere Khan confronts Akela about missing his kill*

Holy shit, WE ARE DOWNRIGHT KILLING OTHER PACK MEMBERS

*internally screams when Mowgli makes eye contact with Shere Khan*

*Mowgli grabs a fiery branch*  WHAT ARE WE DOING?!?

“If I [Mowgli] ever see you [Shere Khan] here again, I will set your hide ablaze and watch you burn alive!”  HOLY SHIT

PUT OUT THE FIRE

“Leave.”  What?

Holy crap, we’re halfway through the movie?  And we’re now going to the man village?

*gasps when the tiger hunter knocks out Mowgli*

Y’know what?  I kind of think it is a shame that Warner Bros decided not to release it in theaters.  This is a fantastic movie so far but it’s understandably NOT Disney so I could see why that would turn people away.

Sudden change in music...

Bagheera!

God, I love Mowgli and Bagheera’s relationship in this movie.

“Mowgli, I did not come to rescue you.  I’ve come to tell you to stay.”  You’re breaking my heart, movie.

YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART, MOVIE.

*is milliseconds away from crying*

“Bagheera... I love you!”  *starts to cry a tiny bit*

Stock chicken sounds!

Seriously, who is this hunter dude?

Oh my god, is he [Mowgli] literally eating raw meat?

His [Mowgli’s] hair is so long...

So much orange in the man village!

So how much time has passed since Mowgli came to the man village? 

“This is my home now.”  WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME MAD

tHAT’S the red dye on his face from Kaa’s vision!

*The village throw chalk around and celebrate*  Oh my gosh, this takes me back to the Holi celebrations that they have at my college every year.

Wait, was the hunter the guy who took the elephant’s other tusk?  Called it!

Oh my gosh, is Mowgli gonna take the tusk back and return it?  Let’s go!

*softly gasps when Mowgli walks by a monkey preserved in a jar*

*has a silent heart attack when Mowgli finds Bhoot’s stuffed head on a stand*

*has to pause the movie in order to get a moment to breath*

MOVIE, ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME CRY?!?

HOLY SHIT, IS HE [Mowgli] GONNA KILL THE HUNTER DUDE?!?

*jaw drops then sighs in relief when Mowgli puts his knife away*

This music here though!  Just this soundtrack in general!  Here’s my money, take it.

“Khan!”  KHAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

“KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!!”  *shakes fist*

Of course freaking Tabaqui runs for it

*gasps when an elephant bowls Shere Khan over*

HE [Mowgli] FREAKING SICS THE ELEPHANTS ON HIM?!?

*jaw drops when Mowgli stabs Shere Khan in the side*

*gasps when the hunter accidentally shoots Mowgli in the arm*

GIVE MOWGLI THE KILL, GOD DAMN IT

*jaw drops when the elephant bowls over the hunter*

THEY KILLED AKELA!  MOVIE!

Wait, they’re gonna let Shere Khan just freaking walk away?!?  MOVIE!!!

MOVIE!!!

Slow motion shot...

Kaa...

Wait, are we not even gonna see Shere Khan’s death?  Is he even gonna die in this movie?  At least give me that.

*jumps then drops jaw when Mowgli quickly takes out Shere Khan when he’s down*

*The elephant picks up Mowgli*  Oh my gosh, I thought he was gonna throw him.

YEET!

This ending just felt rushed.  Everything else was so great and then it’s all nice and cleaned up at the end.

NETFLIX WHY?!?

I don’t even like the song they chose for the credits.

Wait, they filmed in South Africa?

[skamamoroma]

You Are Not From Milan - Thoughts (Part 1)

So this one was always going to be a game changer and I’m sorry for taking a while to write my thoughts. I didn’t think people were too interested in more of my ramblings but then I got quite a few requests so here we are!

First off, I’m so grateful to those people who have helped shed light on what Nico might be experiencing and the illness he lives with. Education on this stuff is so important and I really found it so interesting to read about people’s experiences because only then can you really appreciate what the show is trying to do. Some of that information really did inform us and enabled so many of us to really understand Nico a little more and ESPECIALLY some of the moments in this clip... because yeah, Bessegato might be a bit arrogant etc (!) but nobody can deny that Skam Italia have worshipped Marti and Nico as characters (and others - especially Gio) and I feel the love for these characters in each clip and this one was absolutely no exception despite some of it being very difficult stuff.

This is long. I’m making myself clear right now because if you fall asleep mid way through or even before then, NOBODY could blame you, but some people asked for it so here it is! <3

First off, Bessegato with this cinematography. I love that we get a really poppy, upbeat song with the two of them on the train either kissing or taking selfies or both. It’s youthful and cute and fun to see them spending time together and doing pretty typical sweet stuff with one another. 

I think the main thing I felt when I watched the start of this clip was the comfort they have together. We’re straight off the back of Nico being upset, his mother behaving as she did, Marti being a little uncomfortable and Nico apologising and telling Marti he wants to sleep next to him. That broke my heart. The way he said it was so simple but said SO MUCH. When we were in his room with him and he was asking Marti to leave, you could hear two things so clearly: how much he DIDN’T want that to happen and also how much he desperately wanted comfort. I keep coming back to that because I didn’t feel that with Even. I felt different wants and desires from him but with Nico I just always get this overwhelming feeling that he needs comfort and someone to just SEE him and gather him up. When Rocco said his word was ‘vulnerability’ with Nico, it shows. A lot. 

So the fact that straight off the back of that comment from Nico, we have him being able to spend time with Marti with nobody else there is something we KNOW will be very special. 

And that’s the key thing. NOBODY ELSE THERE. This is Milan. Day and night time and the only other person we see during the entire clip, despite them being in the open, in a central location, is the lady introducing the flat. 

Now, I’ve said this before but I love Skam’s realism. It’s why I’m drawn to it so much. But I also love how Skam Italia has stuck close to realism but drawn a little more on the cinematic aspects. I’m down for that. I’ve adored it. This clip, for me, was by far the most cinematic and I’m kind of thrilled because I often feel like, to depict mental illness, things like camera angles, light, sound, shot length, cinematography tricks and metaphors are WONDERFUL. Something from the original (and the og had much less of a cinematic feel which worked perfectly for it) that I adored was the impact the scene changes were when Even was taking deep breaths and unable to sit still. Those breaths going straight into a black screen was genius and still gives me chills to this day. Those effects, you can say so so much with them and it seems they used that but in really subtle ways. It’s not really STARKLY obvious that nobody is around until you really think about it. 

We kind of have a first introduction into them being the Last Men on Earth.

The little kiss Marti gives Nico is a lovely book end moment to their scene outside the school, isn’t it? Marti feels a little more able to be open but again, THERE IS NOBODY AROUND. Not a soul. When I watched the clip again after realising nobody was visible, it changed it all for me. I actually got shivers because it was EXACTLY like Marti explained... if you’re the last person on earth - WHAT WOULD YOU DO. Possibilities are endless.

I loved the giddy teenage response to the fancy apartment. It was so sweet and that VIEW. The fact that Nico specifically asks for the skyscrapers was SO DAMN SWEET. Ah. It’s such a youthful thing to do - SHOW ME THE BIG BUILDINGS. Tbh I’m the same, I’m a sucker for a good view. 

I think it’s here we realise how expensive this must have been.... the apartment with THAT view. We know that Nico was, at this point, experiencing an episode due to his illness but what is so telling is that he chose to rent an apartment. That was his choice in that moment and he wanted a safe and quite space with Marti with pretty views. I mean. NICO. Romance runs in his veins. 

THE NOSE BOOP. So familiar, so bloody cute and so playful. This is NOTHING new to them but just confirms how they are together and they are LOVELY.

AND THEN THE CURTAINS. Now @only-in-dreamland wrote a pretty special post about the curtains that I LOVE. Go read it. When I watched this back I wondered what the point of including that was. It’s not really a throwaway comment, it’s said a couple of times and I think this wonderful post on the meaning could be pretty spot on because those curtains are so important later on. 

I loved the music in the background too. It’s whimsical, plinky plonky kind of music. It made the whole scene feel film-like, alongside that purple blue sky and the little lights from the cool buildings. Contrasted with the scene taking place, it made it a little disconcerting too because towards the end, you can see Marti’s not entirely sure how to behave because Nico is being pretty forward and a little different to how we’ve seen him before. 

AND THEN THE SCENE WHICH RENDERS ME SPEECHLESS. 

First off, that gorgeous moment of the two of them leaning on the balcony looking at their pretty view that’s all theirs.... it’s so child like with wonder but also so damn romantic. I love that Marti says they’ve been to one of the buildings opposite as it means they spent time together during the day. Knowing that is such a comfort. 

Nico looks so calm with Marti, really happy and very smiley as we know him to be so when Marti looks back and they just giggle... it’s a really beautiful moment. They are always happy to be together, always smiling. It’s like their trademark THING at this point. Marti just looks so smitten, so at ease and completely mesmerised by Nico. It’s almost dream-like again. 

And then we have the RED. Everything till this point is so BLUE. The sky, the buildings, Marti’s clothes (OF COURSE), the view.... and then there’s this BOLD RED and it’s also another of their things. This sharp change in colour which normally means a change in mood. 

This moment with the neon sign is one of my absolute favourites so far this whole season. 

First off, the music. From the RED PILL BLUES album. Come onnnnnnn! Perfect. The song is one I’d have NEVER considered but my god, it’s perfect. some of the lyrics “keep me connected to you” and “you wanna be reckless, restless right until tomorrow”.... but lastly “WHEN WE CLOSE THE CURTAINS”. God damn it. THOSE CURTAINS AGAIN.

Not to mention this song is sexy as hell. It’s just one of THOSE songs with that slow beat... amazinggggg song choice, I can’t even cope with how good it is. 

But then you have Nico asking Marti about the sign and there’s something so sweet about Marti’s “um, how?” and you can see Nico feels the same. He’s endlessly charmed by Marti but in this moment he chooses his own version. It’s like he wants the scene to be perfect, to be THEM and only them for this short period of time. It’s like a title to a tv show, like he’s making this time MARTI AND NICO and nobody else, so much so that it’s written all over the wall to make it clear. The way he does it though, the way he points and walks slowly and smiles and laughs a little at Marti’s confusion before catching him in a kiss... it’s so cinematic my heart couldn’t handle it but it’s that kind of overwhelming, bowl you over kind of sensual cinematic moment that has you swooning but the music makes it more than that, it’s actually intoxicating. I usually hate that work but god does it explain this scene. 

HOW ANYONE CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS SCENE NOT BEING ENOUGH IS HONESTLY BEYOND ME. I’ve rarely seen a heterosexual love scene with intimacy like this nevermind a same sex couple. 

The slow kisses are completely perfect especially considering their happy bouncy kisses in the cabin. This is a ‘take your time’ kiss. Rocco and Fede floor me in this scene. Truly. Every moment is so full of LOVE and CONNECTION and it is almost difficult to watch because it feels very private. They’ve always had this instant easy kind of chemistry but this is a change from the cabin’s frantic kissing, this is soulful and full of touches that say so much without words....! They barely stop touching. The fact that they always touch each other’s faces is painfully sweet because it’s that awe and gentle sweetness they’ve shown time and time again. 

For Marti, it makes me so happy because this is what he deserves. He looks SO comfortable, so happy, so into every moment that it’s kind of breathtaking to see. I couldn’t help but feel so emotional for him because he’s getting the physical part of a relationship he has no doubt wanted but never known if it was possible for him... 

The “private dancer” moment is actually intimate as hell and crazy sexy with Nico helping Marti slide his clothes over his head. People cannot watch this and feel they’re being shortchanged in terms of depicting same sex love and intimacy because it is painfully intimate. 

Lets have a moment to appreciate Rocco’s insane and beautiful curly messy hair because it’s wild in this moment and such a lovely touch in comparison to Marti’s own hair. The shadow effects are absolutely stunning because you focus in on what is important and the detail is simply not necessary. 

AND THEN NICO KISSES MARTI’S HEART and my own heart hurt. We know Nico is a romantic. We know he adores Marti but god. GOD. He does it in such a way that it’s obvious he has chosen to kiss over Marti’s heart, he’s trying to say so much without saying it. 

There’s something they both have done since day one and that’s hold the other in place when they kiss and it makes me a bit emotional!!!! Marti does it quite a bit in this moment, keeps Nico close with his hands or guides him closer to him. Those details are what impress me so so much about Rocco and Fede’s acting. This is really really intense stuff to show, especially to do it well but they make it look absolutely real. I don’t question it for a second and I’m normally someone who is snapped out of scenes when acting is awry or something doesn’t sit right. Never with this season. Not once. 

Again with the smiling, the giddy blissed out smiles that are a Martino Rametta staple. His smile is so lovely and to see him happy is what we all want so all you want to do is keep that smile on his face! 

I ADORE the little moment when Marti is hovering over Nico and Nico’s finger drags along under his chin. It almost stopped my heart with how intimate a detail that was, how in love they seemed in that little moment alone. 

The last shot of this scene is so gorgeous that I KNEW, I knew watching it the first time that it was going to be the last time we saw them like that. I just had this awful sinking feeling seeing them slotted together to happy and lazy and cuddled together that it wasn’t going to last but what a truly gorgeous shot that was. Nico looked tranquil as hell and that’s why what happens afterwards is so painful for me and for us all because all of that intense comfort that Nico wanted and was seeking and that Marti loved... they didn’t get it. They didn’t get their time to sleep next to eachother. It was so SAD for me because that comfort is what I keep coming back to... life got in the way and stole that from them and I felt so unbeliavably sad. I KNOW they will get it. I am certain and I can’t wait to see that but, for now, my heart hurt so much. 

[theheavymetalmama]

Katie Reviews “Far Cry 5″

Doctor Stupidlove

Another day, another Far Cry game. Whether or not that’s a good or bad thing depends on person to person with a laundry list of variables, including but not limited to personal taste and sensibilities, franchise fatigue, whether or not you bought into the glue-huffing guff that this game held a leftist bias pushing an anti-white, anti-American agenda because for the first time in the series the bad guys are an American fanatically religious death cult instead of brown people from imaginary foreign countries, and a myriad of other things I’m probably missing. I’ll say up front that after Primal and a bunch of other bullshit from Ubisoft between now and the infamous ‘women are too hard to animate’ thing I was pretty much done with the series and Ubisoft as a whole. Then the launch trailer for Far Cry 5 dropped and, having grown up in a dead gold mining community chock-full of racist loonies not unlike the one depicted in the fictional Hope County, my interest immediately peaked.

See, the Far Cry games have a strange pattern to them. No game is perfect, but the Far Cry games stand out in that they have one glaring flaw that mars an otherwise damn good game. Far Cry 3 is held aloft as when the series peaked, and for good reason, but the main character was irredeemably unlikable and the main charismatic villain just up and vanishes from the halfway point in the game. Far Cry 4, or Far Cry 3 2 as some call it, fixed the villain problem but the main character was just dull. Primal was...not good, with a boring lead, a boring villain, and an overall boring game. Sure, Blood Dragon was a ton of fun, but part of the charm was that it was completely self-aware of its’ own absurdity and the characters from the hero to the villain weren’t characters so much as they were walking punchlines.

So how does Far Cry 5 compare? Well, when it comes to story, setting, and gameplay, it’s a step up from Far Cry 4 in some ways, blows Primal out of the water, but has its’ own issues and hang-ups that don’t quite make it live up to Far Cry 3. That’s the short version, anyway. The long version?

Let’s start with graphics, location, and aesthetics. Far Cry 5 looks fucking beautiful. 

I’m not kidding, everything from the wild lands, the forests, the mountains, the lakes and rivers, the settlements, everything in Far Cry 5 is absolutely gorgeous. It’s not quite up there with Breath of the Wild or Horizon: Zero Dawn in sheer style and detail, but it’s pretty damn close. More often than not I found myself forgetting about the mission and spending a lot of time exploring, hunting, and trying to take in the sights. More on the ‘trying’ part in a bit. The atmosphere sucks you right in, everything from the chirping birds and buzzing bees making the world feel alive. Exploring the woods and hearing cultist singing and chanting far off in the distance, especially at night, is legitimately terrifying. Wildlife always plays a key role in the Far Cry games and this is no exception, from docile deer to the always pleasant wolverine providing plenty of opportunities for hunting. Just don’t get skunked.

The game takes place in Hope County, a fictional region in rural Montana. Now I’ve never actually been to Montana, but I did grow up in Washington state and I can’t help but notice many similarities. The woods, the rivers, the god damned apple farms, exploring Hope County felt like I was going home again. Sometimes not for the better, but that’s neither here nor there. In any case, Hope County is beautifully detailed, from the farms to forest to the interiors of the (ugh...) Spread Eagle bar to the small hunting cabins out in the woods. Hats off to the artists and environmental designers for Far Cry 5, because they manage to tell more story about the world and characters with just a ransacked pumpkin farm and a dog mourning his dead owners than Square Enix and Konami ever could with a 20 minute cutscene and a dictionary’s worth of dialogue for each character.

Speaking of characters, the Far Cry games are loaded with memorable characters and the locals of Hope County are no exception. Returning character Hurk is back and as redneck-y as ever, and it turns out Hope County is his home. We also meet members of his family, like his pyromaniac cousin Sharky, his promiscuous mother Adelaide and her boyfriend Xander who’s roughly 1/3rd her age, and his racist conspiracy theorist gun-hoarding father Hurk Sr. No wonder he’s so messed up.

But Hurk and his folks aren’t the only people you meet, as the game is packed to the brim with memorable characters that you either love or love to hate, from lovable country boy Nick Rye and half-feral huntress Jess Black to the cartoonishly evil Seed family. More on them in a minute. Oh, and you get a pet bear named Cheeseburger.

Combat and gunplay is as tight as ever, and vehicle control is so smooth it gives Grand Theft Auto a run for its’ money. The soundtrack is pretty damn good, featuring a good mix of licensed and original music and songs. To the surprise of nobody my favorite is the one that plays during the stunt missions.

Leveling and character progress has been streamlined a bit. You upgrade your skills not by gaining experience, but by completing in-game challenges and finding ‘perk magazines’ that, you guessed it, give you points to unlock...well, perks. Some may not like that, but in my opinion it makes sense because if you gained experience just by killing stuff you’d reach level 50 before your first boss fight. Things like bigger ammo bags and extra weapon holsters are no longer unlocked by animal skins but through perks, and said said skins are now exclusively a form of making money.

So that about covers it for the good, and now it’s time for the bad. The streamlining I just brought up both helps and hurts the game. On one hand it does make progressing a lot less tedious, but on the other hand it does take away a lot of what makes Far Cry stand out from other typical shooters. It feels less like they were trimming the fat and more like they were cutting corners. For starters, areas that contain loot only contain ammo, crafting components, and sometimes money. There’s no more animations for skinning animals, harvesting plants, looting corpses, or even your character opening doors. That’s not so bad, but I really miss how dynamic and, as much as I’ve grown to detest this word, cinematic meeting new characters in previous games were. Take a look at this scene in Far Cry 4 when you meet Longinus, easily one of the highlights of the game.

And here’s what happens when you meet Sharky in Far Cry 5. (MINOR SPOILERS)

See the difference? Now one can argue that meeting new characters in real time saves some...well, time and is considerably less pretentious, but it just isn’t as interesting. Far Cry 5 still has plenty of scripted cutscenes, but again, they’ve been stripped down to the bone.

Now remember what I said earlier about trying to take in the sights? This game is packed to the fucking gills with enemy NPCs. Now previous Far Cry games had plenty of enemies as well but this went way overboard to the point that you can’t walk or drive 50 feet before running into a convoy or roadblock or whatever. I speak no hyberbole when I say that by the time you’ve liberated your first region, you’ll have killed more cultists than there are people currently living in real-life Montana as well as hunted and skinned more wolves, cougars, and bears than there are wolves, cougars, and bears currently populating the US west coast. Also, in what universe can a fucking turkey pose a legitimate threat to humans!? Does Far Cry occupy the same universe as fucking South Park?

The story of Far Cry 5 is pretty straight forward, but it definitely feels like there’s some pretty big pieces missing from it. This isn’t just me, critics and players across the board agree that it feels like something was cut from the game at the last minute. This is especially true for the endings, but more on that in a bit. I can’t help but feel that the writers and developers had a lot more to say about racism, gender roles and the enforcement thereof, gun violence and gun culture in America, sexism, religious zealotry, far-right extremism, and of course this tire fire of a presidential administration, because the pieces for all of that are still there. A handful of NPCs mention gender roles for a hot second, several of the guns for hire make disparaging remarks about Trump, the symbol of Eden’s Gate strongly resembles the same symbol the Ku Klux Klan and other white supremacist groups use, Hurk’s dad is a caricature of far-right ideals purposefully exaggerated for ridicule and contempt, and there’s even a mission where you meet up with another returning character to find Trump’s pee-tape.

All of the elements are there, but the game says almost nothing about any of it. Why?

When the first trailer for the game dropped it was around the same time Wolfenstein II: the New Colossus was close to release and the same mouth-breathing shitheels who screamed about how killing Nazis in Wolfenstein was pushing an anti-white, anti-conservative agenda did the same thing for Far Cry 5. My guess is that the PR guys at Ubisoft saw the oxygen-thieving wastes of space screaming about how the game was “anti-white SJW propaganda” and then panicked and removed huge chunks of the game so as not to alienate any racist shitheads who may want to buy it. Not only does the game say almost nothing about any of the themes and elements that I mentioned earlier, but the cult of Eden’s Gate is multi-racial and gendered where most of the guys have long hair and hipster beards and all the women barring Faith Seed have short hair and buzz cuts. It’s really jarring and feels like something that was added at the last minute, as the male cultists all sound the same and the female cultists say hardly anything at all.

That brings us to the player character; they’re aren’t a character, they’re an avatar and silent protagonist. Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it feels strange. Especially when you play as a female, which I did. Now the character creation itself is fine, especially with the wide variety of outfits, but the rest is pretty bare bones. More to the point, it’s painfully obvious they designed the game with a male lead in mind and then added a gender-switch as an afterthought. Almost everyone in the game refers to you by male pronouns (which to be fair I call my ladyfriends ‘dude’ all the time) but there are a few scenes where you’re found shirtless in the game. Now call me old-fashioned, but I’d have a bit stronger of a reaction than “Oh, you startled me” if I woke up to some weirdo carving the word ‘wrath’ into my tits! I have a sneaking suspicion that they added a gender switch at the last minute because someone reminded them of the time they looked like lazy idiots for claiming your customizable assassin in Assassin’s Creed: Unity couldn’t be a woman because women were too hard to animated.

And now, let’s finally talk about the Seed Family.

We have the leader Joseph Seed, the trainer and disgraced soldier Jacob, the sadistic second in command John, and the seductress Faith. The Far Cry games are known for their charismatic villains and the seeds are no exception, and especially gripping because the second you meet any single one of them you immediately want them dead. The only problem is that, again, they’re so cartoonishly evil that the more you see them the more you want to shove them crotch-first into the mouth of a hungry grizzly bear. Vaas was always one step ahead of you and constantly in your face and Pagan Min was so suave and charming that you kind of wanted to see where he was going with it all.

Not the case with the seeds. When you see them they immediately piss you off, and the more you see them they just keep pissing you off because they keep hiding behind doors, cronies, hallucinations, or plot devices. And hey, that’s fine. As long as you get to shove the barrel of a shotgun right into their mouth and spatter their brains all over the walls of their church then who cares, right?

....

So, let’s talk about the endings of the game.

Once you’ve liberated all three regions of Hope County by killing John, Jacob, and Faith, you return to the main cult compound to arrest Joseph once again. However, once you get there and cuff him you step outside to find your allies under the brainwashing influence of the drug Bliss and a boss fight ensues. When you knock your allies out and revive them, they snap out of their Bliss-induced stupor and turn on Joseph, and once you’ve freed all of them Joseph drops like a hot rock. When Joseph is down and the day is won...this happens.

....no, really. 

Right the fuck out of nowhere a nuke lands somewhere in the outskirts of Hope County and you scramble to escape, and pretty soon you black out and wake up in a bunker chained to a bed with Joseph hovering over you saying that you’ll be his first new recruit in the cult. All the allies you previously made die as Hope County is wiped off the map and the game ends, not even giving you a continuation like previous games did and rendering every single thing you did up to this point totally and utterly meaningless.

Now some people have defended this, including the developers, saying that there are radio broadcasts in-game talking about how tensions are raising in Russia and North Korea. I spent hours driving around in the game listening to the radio and I heard no such thing, but if they’re indeed there then this only furthers my suspicion that this was a last-minute change because of the backlash from racist shitbirds and wasn’t the ending the writers and developers originally intended. 

For starters, the escalating tensions between Russia, the US, and North Korea aren’t mentioned anywhere else in the game except in the radio broadcasts (which again, I never heard) and despite the Seeds going on and on about “the collapse” we never get any idea of what the collapse is until the end of the game. It’s not even a convincing depiction of a nuke going off! Just some burning trees and a few animals dropping dead as you make your escape with Joseph in tow and neither of you having so much as a sunburn. If this ending was what they planned from the start then they would have went all out, showing in graphic detail the horrors of a nuclear holocaust. How much of a gut-punch would it have been to see Nick Rye hug his wife and newborn daughter just before the skin is blasted off their bones like that scene in Terminator 2 that made me avoid mesh fences for two fucking years? Or Jess run one of her own arrows through her heart to spare herself an agonizing death? Or hell, Hurk, one of the few returning characters in Far Cry, desperately begging the player for help as his face melts off his skull? That would have hit players and hit players hard and people, myself included, wouldn’t be bitching about how out of nowhere and shit the ending is! And that’s to say nothing of the idea of North Korea wasting one of the handful of nukes they have on rural fucking Montana! Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ, Ubisoft, how fucking stupid do you think we are!?

...okay, fair enough. But still!

Now I know what you’re probably thinking. “Well, damn, that’s grim. Anyway, what’s the good ending like?” 

That IS the good ending.

No, I’m not even kidding. Despite the end scenario being Doctor Strangelove by way of Deliverance (and no, that’s not me being snarky, the game references the movie by playing “We’ll Meet Again” during the final cutscene) that’s the good ending because you, the player, are still alive. The bad ending is that after you arrest Seed and see your friends and allies under the influence of Bliss, you’re given the option to let him go and walk away. You then then your Bliss-induced allies walk with Joseph peacefully into the church and then leave with the same three people, in which they get into a car and leave while chatting about getting the army involved and taking Seed out once and for all. One of them then turns on the radio, the song “Only You” plays, and a red haze takes over the screen just before the credits roll heavily implying that you succumbed to the brainwashing drug (which you’re exposed to several times in the game) and either attacked or killed the people you spent the time in the game trying to save. Either way, each ending renders your actions completely and utterly meaningless.

Why did they do this? Well, partially because the Far Cry writers really love the “There is no objective good or evil, everything and everyone is equally terrible” cliche and they assume everyone else does too, but once again I have no doubt in my mind that the ‘good’ ending wasn’t the original ending and was in fact a last-minute change to appease angry racists in order to not alienate what Ubisoft thinks is their core demographic. What a bucket of cocks.

Final Thoughts

Now despite the endings being complete and utter hot garbage that renders all your actions meaningless, there’s still plenty of fun to be had in Far Cry 5. The combat is satisfying, base jumping and flying around never gets old, the characters are great, and despite chickening out on the themes introduced it’s still a plenty serviceable story. It won’t be winning any awards anytime soon, and if you’re looking for some post-2016 return of the Nazis catharsis then I’d go with Wolfenstein II: the New Colossus instead, but there’s still plenty fun to be had exploring the beautiful wilds of Northwest America while gunning down religious nutjobs, hunting dangerous game, and completing side-quests from uprooting doomsday prepper bunkers to making a bull testicle cook-off to raise morale possible.

B-

A solid B-

[heir-of-puns]

Homestuck Volume 10, One Year Later Retrospective!

Creata, by Seth “Beatfox” Peele: A very very good track to begin the last album. It just kind of embodies everything beautiful and epic about the finale of homestuck. Its beginning section is used in Collide, which brings you right into the first moments of the final battle and then, when you’re ready for the big hit and transition into Oppa Toby Style, the full version slams you with a full-out orchestra. Another thing I really really love about this one is its use of Song of Skaia. The original theme (Skies of Skaia) is used throughout the album, which I didn’t expect to be sure, but it works perfectly. We kind of forget about how important Skaia and universe creation is to the plot/lore of homestuck (which I think may have been one of the problems with Act 7 and our reactions to it but I won’t get into that).The lyrics are gorgeous too. Definitely check out the original Song of Skaia album by Mark Hadley and Tarien Ainuvë. I guess my only gripe is that the song is pretty obviously not a live orchestra or choir. That said, Beatfox did a damn good job with it. I would love love love to see a full orchestra/choir perform it.

Train, by George Buzinkai: The transition from Creata to Train may seem a bit jarring, but if Creata went straight into Of Gods and Witches we wouldn’t have time to relax. Train is just super fun, as are all of George’s songs. Speaking of, check out a bunch more songs like Train here! Also that track art tho. Not one of the strong tracks, but it doesn’t have to be with so many heavy-hitters.

Of Gods and Witches, by Tensei: Oh man, just. Goddamn. I just love this song so much. And what a beginning. The string part slams you full force and just when you think you’re getting comfortable with Jade's Pirates of the Caribbean Quest, Tensei’s classic guitar comes in. The swashbuckling nature of this one is a surprising choice for Jade, but every Jade song is a good Jade song and she definitely deserves such an awesome track. One gripe is that Doctor is referenced which has no connection to Jade but...whatevs I’m kind of weirdly obsessive about leitmotifs for whatever reason. I think Tensei said he did it to make the song 4:13. Worth it. This is one of my favorite strife-y tracks in the music canon for sure.

Beatup, by Clark Powell and Astro Kid: Beatdown is a song with a very interesting history in homestuck, not only because of its associations with Bro and his rooftop...ahem...training of Dave, but also because it was unfinished versions of Beatdown which caused the whole Bill Bolin thing. So Beatdown being featured so heavily on the album is a fun callback to the good ol’ days. And this is such a good version. That base. Makes you want to play it as party music or something. With the track art featuring both Dave and Dirk, I like to think of it as Dave’s reclamation of Beatdown, alongside his rooftop talk with Dirk and the reclamation of his identity since Bro’s death.

You Killed My Father (Prepare to Die), by Team Dogfight: Another one of my faves, though that doesn’t mean much because at least half this album are faves. This is pretty much number one on my list of songs I really want someone to do a full fan animation to, a la Rex Duodecim Angelus. Team Dogfight is amazing both as a group and as individual artists. Yishan Mai/Catboss (drums, mixing) has done tons of LOFAM music, including the Dance tribute songs (MeGaDanceVania, Dance-Stab-Dance, and Emissary of Dance) and so many others I can’t list them all. Listen to his solo stuff (especially Jar of Feelings), you won’t regret it. Will Ascenzo (orchestra, choir) has got to be one of my favorite musicians of all time. Her stuff is just...oh man. Check out Rust Apocalypse for more hs content, and also all of her original albums. DJ最テー (guitars) did Violet Prince and Iron Knight I believe, two tracks which have very much been growing on me lately. I just realized viaSatellite (bass) did Clockstopper (with infiniteKnife) which is my absolute favorite Dave song in the entire canon. David "Dirtiest" Dycus (synths, composition) and Ian White (trumpet) have also done tons of great LOFAM stuff. This song is just so fun and epic and cinematic. A+ yo.

Sound Judgement, by Malcolm Brown: First off, sick transition. Second, say what you want about the end of Terezi’s arc, but the fact that she got her own badass song on the final album says something about how amazing she is. Malcolm Brown is just the king of cinematic pieces, and this one is no exception. It does such a good job turning a pretty simple leitmotif (The Lemonsnout Turnabout/Terezi’s Theme) and making it super epic, which is a word I will keep using throughout this retrospective because I can’t think of another one. The main tune (hook?) of this one is also beautiful and emotional, both as the bells at the beginning and end and as the orchestra/guitar bit at the climax. Its use of Harlequin is obviously a reference to her fight with Gamzee pre-Game Over, though Harlequin is coincidentally also used in reference to John. So it fits both her pre- and post-Game Over arcs. 

Aggrievocation, by Mark Hadley: Considering how much it was used in Volume 5, I feel like we’ve forgotten about Aggrieve. Or maybe it was just me, whose intro to Rose’s music was almost all Chorale for Jaspers references. Aggrievocation was therefore another unexpected surprise, and damn I love it. It makes a nice little trilogy, too, with the original Aggrieve and Aggrievance from Vol.5. This would be my favorite badass Rose song if At the Price of Oblivion and Dance of Thorns didn’t exist

Stride, by Kalibration: I’m surprised neither official nor fan musicians have capitalized on the fact that Dave makes his own music in-canon. While we all know if he were from post-2009, he would deal exclusively in vaporwave, I like to think that Stride is the kind of thing he makes once he finally gets good. And considering the track art, I love the idea of him and Dirk making it together. This song exists in canon for all I’m concerned is what I’m saying. Also, this would make a great walk-around theme for either Dave or Dirk. This is the first of two great Moonsetter remixes on Vol.10, which is yet another happy surprise on this album. Moonsetter seems to have become a kind of hybrid Dirk/Meteor tune considering its original track art on Vol.9 and its use in Vriskagram. But we all know that Moonsetter is the official Gay theme now and I embrace that wholeheartedly. I...still have no idea where Showdown actually comes in though?

Skaian Overdrive*, by Thomas Ferkol: Ah, that good ol’ asterisk. Legend says that the music team video released in tandem with the album claimed Vol.10 included a track called Skaian Starstorm, which someone eventually realized was not the name of this track and was in fact an Astro Kid song from LOFAM 2. In correcting himself, Thomas (or whoever put it together, so probably RJ) placed the asterisk in the song title, which of course means that it is included as part of the title on the bandcamp page and on downloadeds. Who can say for sure if it was intentional or not, but I appreciate that we’ve all just accepted it as part of the title, either as a wink-wink or without knowing the backstory. Anyway, this is a great song for the Battlefield. I love Thomas’s metal stuff.

Freefall, by RJ Lake: It took me embarrassingly long to realize this was, in fact, a remix of RJ’s early version of Cascade (Beta). Cascade (Beta) itself has got to be one of my absolute favorites (which, again, doesn’t mean a whole lot) and this version is so much fun. It’s funky, epic, and I really really love those drop/clap bits. And it’s so great seeing a Cascade remix on the final hs album, harkening back to what was probably, for good or bad, homestuck’s apex.

Moonsweater, by David Ellis, Alto and Tenor Saxophone performed by Malik Refaat: My roommate is a jazz snob from New Orleans and he heard me playing this and came over to my side of the room to say it was really good and ask who it was by. Which, I think, is a major victory for homestuck music and a moment of pride for me. So apparently this is a great song even by jazz snob standards, which is sick as hell. Overall, just a fun bouncy song and another cool use of Moonsetter. And it’s nice to see the Midnight Crew featured on the album, whether they have anything to do with the song’s origins or not. Yeah the song is a bit long, but I can forgive it. Question though: is it sweater like sweat or sweater like the item of clothing? Plz advise. One is significantly weirder than the other and I assumed it was that one until recently. Another mystery which doesn’t need solving but heck if I’m not gonna try and solve it anyway, so nice work.

Castle, by George Buzinkai: Another fun, simple track from George. Again, check out his album of similar stuff I linked to above, and support George with your money and appreciation! The track art makes me think of this one as a song for the post-retcon Meteor Crew sneaking through Derse to save Jake and Roxy.

Skaian Happy Flight, by Seth “Beatfox” Peele: A fun remix of Skaian Ride, harkening back to the old days of Vol.5. A bit of a filler piece, but a fun one. Beatfox said he intended this one as a tribute to the music from the Never Ending Story. As such, notice the little Hussie riding Falcor in the background of the track art.

Voidlight, by Thomas Ferkol: Mmmm the more Calliope tracks the better. Thomas said this one was written as a tribute to Callie’s void bubble and her loneliness hiding in them which, yeah it works perfectly. I also like to think of this one as a theme for Alt-Calliope too, though, not only because I am starved of Alt-Callie Content, but also because those themes of loneliness Callie experiences in the void are mirrored really poignantly in Alt-Calliope’s characterization in-comic. A beautiful piece overall.

Beatdown DX, by Curt Blakeslee: As I mentioned earlier for Beatup, it’s neat seeing Beatdown come back full force on this album. Especially this one, which is a straight-up remaster of the original by its original creator. It’s awesome, especially considering that I don’t think he’s done anything else for the comic since the original Beatdowns from way back when. The original is purposefully harsh to reflect...yeah...but this one finally puts it to its full potential. The amazing track art (brought to you by the creator of Terepy herself) really drives the point home about what Beatdown represents for Dave’s character. I like to think of this one as how Bro sees the song/rooftop battles. Heroic, clean, fun, badass, classic video-game style. And we see from the art that what Bro is doing is none of those, and the original reflects Dave’s perspective on what was going on: harsh, dissonant, aggressive, violent. I do wish that this was included before Beatup on the album, since it represents the exact thing Dave reclaims with that version, as I mentioned earlier.

Solar Voyage, by Marcy Nabors: Oh man. This song. This song is such a great tribute to some of the most iconic songs in homestuck. Starts out with a pretty much one-to-one rendition of Ruins, then hits that sick-ass drop and flare beat, then that guitar. Oh man, that guitar. I wish I could make people feel the way that guitar makes me feel. And then to top it all off, another tribute to the iconic Explore. Three classics which work beautifully together. Also this one is a collaboration from pretty much everyone: Arrangement by Michael Guy Bowman, Marcy Nabors, Clark Powell, and Erik Scheele , Piano by Erik Scheele, Guitar by Tensei, Vocals by Paul Henderson and Marcy Nabors, Drums by Jamie Paige Stanley. The whole gang. And then that transition to.......

Feel (Alive), by Luke Benjamins and RJ Lake: This fucking song, I swear to god. It gets me so pumped. Every single time I listen to it I bounce along. I usually prefer songs with leitmotifs for added Emotions, but this has got to be one my top completely original pieces in the music canon. It goes so hard, it doesn’t even need a subject. The track art makes it a Meteor Crew (plus Jade) tribute, though, so I like to think of it playing as the Meteor is hurtling towards the Alpha session and their imminent doom, with everyone having lived three years of emotional turmoil and pubescence. Truly a masterpiece.

Breeze, by Erik Scheele: Yeah it’s a bit of a filler piece, but it’s a classy filler piece. I just imagine John chilling up in the clouds, free and relaxed. Maybe he packed a lunch for a little sky picnic. I don’t think it was written with John in mind but it’s called Breeze, so I dub it a John piece, so there. And then a tantalizing transition into...

Starfall, by Jeremy “Solatrus” Iamurri: I know we all thought of this one as just a little transition piece into Ascend originally, but after listening to it over the course of a year (!) I’ve grown to really love it. Solatrus has some amazing and unique stuff and out of everything he’s done, including solo albums, this is probably my favorite. I still can’t quite place exactly why I love it so much, there’s just...something about it that’s beautiful and ethereal and just really really cool. I like that the artist decided to go with a tribute to both Rose and the Reckoning for this piece, as it really works for both of them for similar reasons as above. It’s another one that transcends a subject, though, and I am a-okay with that. And then that transition into...

Ascend, by Tensei: No final album is complete without a big tribute to some of homestuck’s most classic tunes. I am such a sucker for those kind of songs and this one is just so much fun. That base drop though. That’s a good base drop. I can never help but laugh, however, at Tensei attempting to use it to make Johnradia canon which...a) is a boring ship b) the art doesn’t even suggest they’re romancey it just gives cool feelings about badass god tiers extending a hand to those who have Ascended and c) the song was, of course, used in the Credits and constitutes our current, but probably final let’s be serious Last Music in Homestuck, and the only ship we associate with it now is Rosemary getting Rosemarried which I think is a very poetic backfire for Tensei. But credit where credit is due, Tensei is still one of my favorite artists and he really delivers a super fun tribute to everything homestuck. 

Lilith in Starlight, by Malcolm Brown: Yeah, there isn’t really anything about this one that hasn’t been said a bunch of times. It’s so great having a full song dedicated to Rosemary. Including Blind Justice Investigation (I am not typing that out in Terezi’s quirk), Do You Remem8er Me, Black Rose/Green Sun, Sound Judgement, and others, it truly makes Malcolm Brown the musician king of gay homestuck ships. Yay Malcolm. But seriously, this is a beautiful piece. Gorgeous references to Rose’s and Kanaya’s themes (have I mentioned how much I love Black/Rose Green Sun? I really love Black Rose/Green Sun), and a fun, dancey rhythm which always makes me think of it as Rose and Kanaya’s wedding dance number. Imagine them spinning each other around as everyone claps and oohs and aahs. Good content.

Thanks for Playing, by Max Wright: Ya know, I never give this one the credit it deserves. This is a beautiful piece of music and combined with the track art, it really hammers in the emotions of the end of homestuck. There they all are, staring into the distance as the universe they’ve just created comes into being. Emotions. I really need to appreciate this song more.

Renewed Return, by Marcy Nabors: Man, who knew Warhammer of Zillyhoo could make me so emotional. This might be my current favorite on the album, though that changes monthly tbh. Especially since this is a real live orchestra and choir! I love that!!! It includes some great overlooked pieces like Calamity and Revered Return, too. Man I’m getting tired. But this is such a great song, and kind of the emotional climax of the album for me. Whether it has much to do with Jane or not, it’s just another great song for the end of homestuck and all the emotions that entails. And this has got to be one of my favorite renditions of Doctor. Rereading the lyrics, it really does seem like they were written for Jane and her resurrection powers actually. Resurrection is a theme throughout the comic in multiple forms, and paying tribute to that through Jane is so great, even regardless of her unacceptable lack of songs.

THIS Pumpkin, by Alexander Rosetti: And topping off the list of surprising returns of old songs, here we have a full-on orchestration of Pumpkin Cravings of all things. The original is such a fun little tune, and not one you would expect to work so well with an orchestra. Alexander Rosetti said the style was very much a tribute to Danny Elfman, which yeah I totally see (hear) that. It’s also great seeing a piece for Problem Sleuth on the last album for the media masterpiece it directly lead to. And finally...

Conclude, by Seth “Beatfox” Peele: It’s interesting that rather than go with a big epic finale, the album takes a softer route. It starts out as a more soothing Creata, then hits you (me) right in the emotional soft spot that is Showtime (Piano Refrain). The first track of the comic, featured in the last track of the last album. And then of course there’s no forgetting Homestuck Anthem. When not focusing on the piece, it can be a bit boring honestly. But when actually listening to it, it really is gorgeous. Kinda reminds me of John Williams’ Star Wars stuff actually, now that I think about it. An excellent finale of a finale of a finale.

There you have it, Vol.10 One Year and Several Hours Later. This took a really long time. Plz appreciate my hard work and the lack of sufficient sleep I am getting tonight.

[its-just-like-the-movies]

My Fair Lady (64, C)

Looking at My Fair Lady, I can’t help but be filled with nothing but questions. Primarily, what in god’s name made this stodgy enterprise such a durable cultural sensation for decades? How did it clean up so many awards on the stage and screen, especially Rex Harrison as the disgustingly crusty Henry Higgins? Did no one mind the blazing misogyny back in the day, or was the original stage production smart enough to make Higgins the butt of his own jokes? As a film, this is a vexing object to me, as gorgeously dressed, set, and scored as it is unrepentantly gross, classist, and packed to the brim with godawful songs for its men to mainly inflect to rather than actually sing, certainly not the way Eliza Doolittle has to sing. And yet, Audrey Hepburn and Marni Nixon’s creation was bafflingly the only component of the film not to get recognized by an Academy voting body that had the gall to including Gladys Cooper in about three sequences of warm, haughty nothingness. Even more confusing than the film’s reception is the film itself, mounted with so little shaping or cinematic might by director George Cukor, a director I’ve only met twice (The Philadelphia Story and the 1944 Gaslight) but know well enough to be sure that he’s capable of far more than just lazily plopping a stage production in front of the camera. For sure, art director Cecil Beaton took plenty of advantage in making the film to create extravagant, visually resplendent sets and unbelievable gorgeous outfits that are the only facet of the film ever willing to mock itself, in the form of absurdly large and ornate hats. But the beauty of it all can’t hide that there’s barely a character I wanted to be around or listen to for a good portion of the film’s three hour running time, devoid of most things that a viewing audience might call “appealing characters”, “bearable politics”, or “pleasant lyrics”, even as I felt currents of the film sweeping me up and gaining my attention. It’s far more fascinating to me as a cultural object than a film, possessing such a dubious combination of merits and demerits that the sheer size of its success is as hard to buy as the series of decisions that turned it into a filmed staging with none of the life a staged production could’ve brought it?

The deadly miscalculation of the whole thing announces itself almost instantly, once Higgins has his first encounter with Cockney street urchin Eliza Doolitte selling flowers to other rich people. After taking records of her accent and how she speaks, the film’s first song begins as he verbally abuses her for the way she speaks, saying she should be slain and bemoaning the state of how the English learn the English language. A lot of My Fair Lady’s most obvious comedy comes from the way Higgins and other members of British high society react to (mainly berate) Eliza’s manners and accent, and even if the Pygmalion tale is as much a joke at the expense of Higgins as it is Eliza, the film is too enraptured in Henry’s point of view to really fight him or make him the butt of the joke. It’s one thing to point out that Harrison’s cantankerous performance is without any self-humor, but the problem mainly lies in Cukor’s direction and tone, taking the whole thing to earnestly and without much wit or farce. Singin’ in the Rain was more than capable of balancing itself as both those things, as well as being a damn sterling musical that could accommodate a sweet, sweeping romance, and turning every one of its characters into jokes at one point or another. My Fair Lady has almost none of that dexterity, retaining itself entirely from Higgins’s point of view even in sequences focusing on Eliza and her arc. The whole film feels prescribed from Henry, damning itself in the process.

It doesn’t help that Cukor doesn’t guide the film’s two female performances into giving much bristle against Harrison, or frame them in any interesting way. Gladys Cooper is filmed at such an alarming distance we can barely see her face, and her droll disdain for her son and kindness to Eliza cannot combat how little Cukor’s camera is interested in her. I don’t know how much to call Hepburn a problem in the same way, given that her interpretation of Eliza is neither deeper nor shallower than Harrison’s, and hers is clearly the more demanding part. For sure Hepburn’s performance is the most entertaining thing the film can give us, and she’s a game actress when it comes to lip-syncing to the glorious Marni Nixon’s singing of Eliza’s songs. Hepburn’s acting in these scenes is full of energy, not just because Eliza’s songs are practically the only ones that allow her interpreter to belt, or really sing actual notes instead of the “I’m doing to do vocal inflections in this patter song” that are exclusively Higgins’s lot. Her physicality is invigorating, and convincingly “sings” in each of these scenes. Hepburn is especially fun when she has to be angry at Higgins, and she’s certainly charming, but Hepburn’s interpretation is a limited as Harrison’s is, albeit within a much larger range of feeling. She does exactly what’s asked of her, but she doesn’t add anything to Eliza’s complicity, or hatred, or romance, or really anything.

Still, Harrison isn’t in any way more compelling than her, and his schtick is immediately grating in every respect. It’s not just that his songs are barely songs at all, but the character of Higgins is so repellent that a more agile performer than Harrison would need to do a lot of work to make him even remotely bearable. A stronger director would’ve made that load easier to bear too, but Cukor’s lack of shaping makes Harrison even more culpable in his flat, uninspired performance. This is what he thinks Henry Higgins should be? This is what he thinks My Fair Lady is about? He is at least more bearable than Stanley Holloway as Eliza’s father Alfred, who is given one completely forgettable song and two that are astonishingly grating and seemingly endless. The end point of his arc is funny, sure, but it’s baffling that this character is given such lavish attention from any point of view. If anything, Alfred’s views on his daughter and women are more overtly awful than Henry’s, confined as they are to smaller doses that have to make up for lost time by being more reprehensible. The sheer kindness of Freddy Eynsford-Hill, Eliza’s late-in-the-game suitor, is the only beacon of light this film has in presenting a version of a straight man that is, in any conceivable way, bearable to be around. And for the record, yes, I have forgotten everything about Colonel Pickering as a character, except for his being the primary subject of the film’s remarkably homoerotic ode to the stability, reliability, and all around betterness of men in comparison to women.

That song, perhaps the nicest thing Henry Higgins has sung or said to anyone that isn’t himself up until that point, is distinctly homoerotic for the same reason that everything else up to that point had been so blatantly unpleasant. My Fair Lady is a witless film without much by way of subtext, and because it presents everything it does at face value, so must we take it as such. This may not even be as problematic as it is if we didn’t have to suffer through the film’s odious ending, given how much the film’s second act is entirely devoted to Henry’s realization that barely anybody in his immediate circle really likes him, especially the young woman he’s fallen in love with while molding her, berating her, and using her as a servant. After successfully flaunting Eliza at a ball and congratulating every single person but her for turning her into a believable noblewoman, his inability to grasp her anger as she demands a future from him and rejects the ways that he’s used her - even if she did agree to sign on with him - is the strongest confrontation these characters have had up to that point. His crucial lack of self-awareness could have been a fascinating character point had the film not been complicit in it too, one that rears itself again in what should have been his final encounter with Eliza at his mother’s house. Higgins is not wrong in giving himself credit for Eliza’s diction, but his chronic blindness towards the contributions of anyone else in his work - look at how shocked he is when it is Colonel Pickering who Eliza credits for learning how to be a noblewoman, not Henry - is too damning to be overlooked, and no cringy, I’m-13-and-just-got-a-blog excuse of “I treat everyone horribly” is enough to compensate for his stunning lack of character. Even as Eliza taunts him with her own independence he cannot help but make it about him, only realizing how much he values her until he’s shredded every possible inch of goodwill he could have left. That My Fair Lady ends the way it does is surely a tribute to its own lack of self-awareness, one that damned any of my own goodwill while watching it.

And yet, in spite of myself, parts of it have lingered with me. Cecil Beaton’s extravagant costuming and set design is surely the highlight of the film, visually stunning across characters of every social rung, and the only part of the film that’s willing (or smart enough) to make a joke out of itself. The sheer insanity of the outfits worn by the rich folk at the horseraces is all we need to know that these people aren’t meant to be taken seriously, as confined as they are refined, and still the scale of it all shows real imagination and craft on Beaton’s part. The men are dressed with a much care as the women, and every location is given gorgeous detailing. Then again, if you’re so repulsed by My Fair Lady’s characters that you’d like to look away for a little while, the score is wonderfully orchestrated, carrying emotional beats with greater force and earnest feeling than anyone else in front of or behind the camera. Even if I’ll contest many of the songs are bad, clips of them are still in my head, especially since most songs are just the same phrases repeated about a third of the time.

But of course, when should aesthetic merits ever compensate for ghastly politics and inadequate realization, especially in a film that has so many issues in both of those areas. It’s a slog to sit through. I only felt any energy from it when Eliza got mad, and even that was mostly because I agreed with her more than the film really did anything different in her scenes. My Fair Lady is a gross object, but only because it doesn’t seem to have any deeper understanding of itself, nor is anyone involved interested in fighting against the piece and dig into it. There’s enough good here, and what’s good is actually pretty fantastic, that I don’t mind giving it the C grade I’ve currently bestowed it. The general misunderstanding of the text feels more catastrophic than any one correct decision can recuperate it, and even if it hums along fine on its own, misbegotten terms, it takes a long while for the narrative to really pay off. And who can forget how all of that goodwill evaporates as soon as the film ends the way it does, suggesting a romance the previous twenty minutes had done everything in its power to repudiate. George Bernard Shaw raged against that ending, publishing asterisks and post-scripts into subsequent copies of Pygmalion so that his critique of it could live on well after he died. Thank god that it has. There are points of view about art and literature that I’m fascinated to hear about, to discuss and to try and understand. But I’m very, very thankful that I don’t have the disposition to enjoy the way My Fair Lady ends, or to go along with anything that this dullard of a film winds up saying about men and women, about class hierarchy, about respectability. Or rather, the way that even all this is muddied by that horrific finale. My Fair Lady is somehow a witless and self-contradictory object, pleasurable in some respects and still dubious in others. I’d be perfectly fine never seeing it again in my life, and if I do, I better start now. If I don’t start early, it’ll go so long I’ll never have time to watch another movie again.

[sunjaesol]

Thouhts on Riverdale 1x06

I have a complete seperate post on the Bughead kiss so if you want to check that out click HERE.

- I loved how the theme of this episode was fear. Fear is something we all live with. Some a lot, some rarely. Riverdale really tries to connect with the troubles of real people: family issues, fear of failing and rejection. 

- The breakfast scene GAVE ME LIFE! Also, very stealthy of Betty and Jughead to plan that all out. Jug goes to the bathroom so Betty can find out where Polly is. 

- I felt so bad for Archie. I don’t have stage fright (quite the opposite haha) but I know a lot of people who do and I just wanted to give him a hug. His friendship with Val is something I adore (the fact that they kissed in the end made evrything much cuter)

- It did made me think how fast he... moved on from Grundy. (remember her? Ugh.) Archie is still young, he probably mistook sexual attraction for love. I think Val and Achie together is a fun relationship. Bonus: she is a POC. (with gorgeous green eyes oh my god.) 

- I feel like I pitied Archie a lot this episode because I also felt bad for him when  he tried to converse with Jughead and Betty and they blatantly cut him off. I mean I get it, since he’s out of the loop (and has a completely different storyline now that Grundy is gone) but it’s just sad. A few episodes ago he was still Betty’s best friend. Now she kind of pushes him aside.

- Kevin is so mad because Archie got a spot. I wonder why... 

- Veronica got through trouble to get Archie a spot on the show, even though she angered Kevin with it. I wonder if she likes Archie romantically and if so, I’m curious of her reaction in 1x07 when she finds out that Archie and Val are (probably) a thing. 

- Josie (or Josephine, I might say) has so much weight on her shoulder and I just wanna give her a good hug. Famous jazz singer dad and pressuring mayor mom. Fun...  But, she should not have taken out her anger on Val, that wasn’t right. 

- #ProtectVeronicaLodge Her father is in jail, she needed to start a completely new life with a new view of living (not the rich bitch anymore) and then her mother (who really needs to cut her hair, it looks ridiculous) kisses with the father of her best friend. Her mother is cheating on her spouse and Veronica needs to live with that. Hermione is so sneaky and mean and I do not like her. 

- Also, then Archie drops her for Val like dude you clearly don’t get how this works. 

- But then Veronica walking through the halls like the queen she is and that confidence she oozes is everything I want. I also liked how she calmly said how she was very angry and needed to be put into something positive. Ronnie is smart. 

- Betty tightening her ponytail is something so small but so unique to her and it makes her character come to life. Also, I never realised that Cole Sprouse isn’t really that tall. 

- Elizabeth... l love that name. Better then Polly lol. Reminds me of Polly Pocket, those little dolls for girls. 

- I’m glad they really looked for someone who resembled Lili. The girl who plays Polly is very similar. Same blonde hair, green eyes, not a big height difference. 

- Polly is very... interesting. How she told Betty about their plans and how she freaked out... probably because of what happened to Jason but still, she wasn’t entirely fine as she claims to be. Definitely when we see in the end she broke out of her room and the car was filled with drugs. (From whom it was, we don’t know) I also think Polly put the car on fire. Something tells me it’s her. 

- Betty’s mom is so mean but I do feel like she knows more than she lets on and actually has a valid reason to keep Polly there. Besides her hatred for the Blossom’s. 

- Now that I think of it, Cheryl wasn’t in this episode. 

- That arranged dinner was so weird. It had Archie and Fred, Veronica and Hermione, the mayor and her spouse and Josie all in one room. The combination just made everything so awkward and tight and Josie’s father needs to chill for a second, god damn. Your daughter is a sophomore. She’s 15/16. And Fred was so hopeful to get that contract while Hermione is just sitting there all smug winning over Fred’s heart. Ugh. I think once Fred finds out about everything, he will be completely dismayed by Hermione. Also, I think she has a hidden agenda we don’t know about yet.  

- The bedroom scene with Betty and her parents made me almost cry. Not only because parents in TV-shows usually are put in the back and they never talk to their kids, but because of how they treat Betty. Definitely her mom, laughing and crying at the same time over the fact that Betty thought her dad killed Jason, meanwhile also insulting him? 

- But, that means Betty’s parents are both innocent. Meaning they didn’t kill Jason, but they are definitely not sinless. 

- Betty cannot cry. I can’t handle that. 

- Ronnie and Josie bonding with food in Pop’s is so real and fun and sad at the same time and I love everything about it. 

- Also, (nerd me activates now) the way everything is shot so cinematic (colours, angles) is just so beautiful.

- Yeah, just be a fraud Hermione. Fake your daughter’s autograph. Go fucking ahead.  

- “Hey Juliet”, kill. me. now. There is a ladder next to my window, but does a boy come to my house like that? The answer is no. Jughead is so soft yet only shows it to Betty and it’s just... *sighs*

- I get Betty’s doubts and frustrations. Needing to live in a household like that must be hell. It is hell.  

- Betty’s not crazy but... are we going to forget about that little split personality thing that happened when they wanted revenge on that guy a few episodes back? Was that just for shock? Cause, that was something major. 

- “Also...” had he wanted to something but then suddenly looked at her lips and blanked? I say yes. 

- And then they kiss... I have a post, like I said. 

- “The car!” (yes make out in the car!!!) 

- Kidding, great thought Betty. Detectives Betty and Jughead on the go!

- The dad of Josie can go die in a hole. I’m so salty oh my god. But I mean, this is your daughter’s performance in a school in a small town like WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM HER? He is the child here, not Josie. If you can’t sit in a chair for two minutes than you need to get checked up mister. 

- Is that attire... appropriate for school? I mean, Veronica’s boobs were literally on display. Remind you they’re fifteen/sixteen. 

- I’m sorry, Archie’s song was quite lame. (I got the message, don’t worry, but it was just... plain.) With Val’s voice it wouldn’t been better but Archie had to be the good guy here. 

- So, the getaway car story was accurate. But whose drugs was it? And why was Jason’s letterman jacket already in the trunk? Why did he even had it with him? That doesn’t make sense. 

- Someone is spying on them whilst they investigate. Polly? Cheryl? Kevin? A parent? 

- The one that spied on them lit the car on fire just as the cops came... and Polly broke out of her room pregnant. Did she get help? Did she just got out and made it look like she escaped through the window for a diversion? 

Those are my thoughts for this weeks episode!