#This isn't connected to anything in the current issue I just felt like making this.

[autoacafiles]

Human Mechanoids

In the fourty years since the Transformers came to Earth, humanity has advanced a lot. They've invented a widespread information exchange platform. They've made screens that react to human touch. They've created high-speed transport on rail lines. And perhaps the most dramatic expression was the creation of the humanoid mechanical walker, more commonly known as a Mech.

While the idea of a robot war machine had been around for years prior, with the earliest example in fiction a topic of debate suggesting it happened at least as early as 1940, the arrival of Cybertronians on Earth led some scientists to start developing their own mechanical humanoids. At first they were relying on computer technology for their creations, such as Dr. Fujiwara's Project Yorutori, but between the comparative lack of adaptive ability of Algorithm-Processed Intelligence and the sheer number of incidents involving processing failures, it soon became clear that if humanity wanted to make something that can walk alongside their robotic protectors, they'll have to build something they can pilot.

The vast majority of mechs used today look fairly similar, designed on the same frame design that was made open source by its anonymous developers. While some developers op for larger cockpit sizes or differing proportions, even leaving out the external sensor array that some often mistake for a head, without the armor, most mechs look identical.

In the case of mechs, at least, clothes really do make the man.

And now the moment of truth - do mechs change the tide of war for humankind?

Turns out humanoid walkers stick out like a sore thumb, so the majority of nations opted for more classic forms of mechanized warfare, like jets and tanks.

That doesn't mean that mechs were sidelined, however.

As humans are easily entertained, mech combat became the modern gladiatorial games, with the exception of fatalities. Many aspiring engineers and pilots have made names for themselves in these mechanized melees, be it directly piloting their mechs or remotely controlling them.

Lately, however, some of the most dynamic and efficient of these mech fighters have been sponsored by a group calling themselves the Earth Defense Corp, which raises some eyebrows. Plus there are some reports of less-then-reputable groups using mechs for their own goals, including the Forever Knights and [REDACTED]...

[acourtofthought]

Some on the other side seem to have misunderstood my post from yesterday.

If Elain wants to reject the bond then it's fine. Rejecting her bond doesn't make her weak, it's her right to do so and a reader can support that decision, can even applaud it.

However Elain hasn't rejected her bond. She hasn't had a book which means you don't know who her endgame person is. Because of that she's has not defied fate yet some are acting like she already has. Lucien is still her mate, she's his and there is not a single character in the ACOTAR that believes them to have a rejected bond.

Some are applauding Elain during Elain Week, a week to to celebrate her character, for something she hasn't even done. For a Fated Mates author, chances are strong she never will. I'll say it again, if some still think Elucien can't be endgame despite their current setup, I'd like to point you in the direction of 99.9999% of other Fated Mates stories.

Elain is currently hiding from her bond, from Lucien. That is not Strength or Bravery, it's Elain being afraid. Afraid of how it makes her feel, afraid of how fate decided something for her, afraid of something else, take your pick. She's currently avoiding having a real conversation with Lucien which yes, she owes him. Throw your real world opinions of "women don't owe men an explanation!" out the window because this isn't your real life. This isn't nice guy Tommy from down the street who isn't taking the hint of your disinterest.

This is a novel and Elain and Lucien were given a connection that you will never see in your lifetime, a magical link to the other ones soul.

She does owe him an explanation and a decision on what she wants or doesn't want from him. Don't like it? Take it up with the author who wrote the rules of her fantasy world. Her ignoring Lucien is not enough for a character with a magical connection to her to "take the hint and move on".

Sarah is the one who wrote Elain hiding from her bond and the others acknowledging it as the elephant in the room. She is the one who wrote Elain as refusing to say to Lucien "I don't want you and I want him instead".

That would be Elain showing bravery. Vocalizing to her Mate what she wants, not her sister while she was still mourning her fiance and after Feyre made a comment about entitlement. Of course she doesn't owe Lucien her time, he doesn't feel she does. Yet she continues quietly taking his gifts (a little odd right? Accepting gifts from a mate you don't want anything to do with?) stashing them god knows where and allowing him to suffer rather than having a conversation with him about no longer holding out hope for her, for them.

Elain is good and kind, she is loving. Yet some honestly believe she's just heartlessly and needlessly allowing Lucien to keep coming around for no reason at all since they believe it's a done deal. She doesn't want him, will never want him, yet she somehow can't use her voice to say that. She had no issues speaking up to Nesta in SF, Sarah had no issues with writing a bonus showing Elain returning Az's gift yet Elain must have her own book and pov to reject her mate which she's apparently wanted to do for years now but just did not. Because it's somehow more girl boss that way?

Because she felt it was necessary to leave him with a glimmer of hope for two years by not rejecting him before that despite always knowing it's what she wanted?

The e/riel version of Elain being badass is not my Elain and not the Elain that Sarah has written.

Elain insisting they help Feyre help others was girl boss.

Elain standing up to Nesta in SF was girl boss.

Elain returning Az's necklace after he chose to call her a mistake was girl boss.

Elain refusing to look Lucien in the eye or have a conversation with him when she's supposed to be so confident that she doesn't want him makes her a bit of a coward right now.

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

"Sounds like a plot by the gang", "oh they're definitely writing this in the next season," I know it's all silly jokes, but with all due respect and no ill will, if they learned anything from their recent seasons, you're all wrong. While Sunny has always been used to perform both political and social commentary and satire since its inception, where they largely failed (and subsequently course corrected away from) in later years was trying too hard to connect the gang to every major current event without regard to who these characters actually are, losing sight of the smaller plots and grounded core of what makes Sunny and the gang so appealing in the first place, (and also needlessly dating the episodes in a jarringly noticeable way).

And the reason season 16 didn't fall into this trap and felt so much like classic Sunny again in a way even 15 didn't is partly because they realized this and reigned the focus back in to be on the gang themselves, rather than the gang as mere mouthpieces or moving props, (while still finding a balance within those core dynamics, covering a much broader modern commentary on things like false nostalgia, technology, allusions to more niche stories and etc. Current issues as seasoning, but NOT as the whole dish.)

But also, all that aside, other than maaaybe Frank in some 'that bastard owes me money from the 80s' roundabout or accidental way, the gang aren't trying to assassinate anyone because 1. they don't care or know shit about politics on a bigger level, get real, and 2. even if they did or ever would contemplate an assassination amongst themselves, which is entirely possible given past discussions (ie jumper and others), at their heart, they don't actually have the purposeful disposition for that sort of thing and have always been all talk, no action, so that kinda plot would never make it past the bar threshold, let alone to the pulling the trigger stage before they chicken out, realize they don't care or get distracted by some other random scheme.

Now, all that isn't to say they might not reference it in some other more subtle way like for example, Frank thinking someone's trying to assassinate him and taking wild measures to protect himself from his enemies or something, I don't know, but we've just recently had another gun focused episode so in all likelihood, it's not in the cards, it shouldn't be in the cards... and that's probably definitely for the best.

[jayladfanpage]

What would be your ideal Outlaws team + how would you go about writing/constructing it? <3

My ideal team is, maybe a little predictably, Jason Todd Eddie Bloomberg and Rose Wilson.

Gosh uhm!! First of all, little to no Gotham issues. I prefer Jason when he isn't in Gotham, or is at least not interacting with the Bats, so it's just easier to have him be somewhere else. Most likely, I'd start it off in Hollywood, because I see it starting with Freshly Revived Eddie (p sure he like, just got revived in the new Flash?) not really understanding what happened for him to die and plus he's just... alone. So he texts Jason and Rose to come visit him! But then when Jay and Rose get there (already skeptical bc hello, Jason hasn't seen Eddie since they were 15 and Rose is literally Eddie's ex) Eddie gets kidnapped by a demon/magician/brother blood/etc and Jay and Rose have to go after him and that sets up the start of the comic

I'd take a more magical route with it, personally. Obviously to connect it to Eddie's whole thing as a demon hunter but also to try and fix the All-Caste stuff that Lobdell came up with. Lots of potential there if it came from a better writer. I don't think Rose does anything with magic in canon, but I do always enjoy watching characters have to adapt to seriously fucked up shit. (Plus, she has Slade's meta powers. She'll be fine.)

This is also like, you know, THE daddy issues team. So many conversations to be had between Jason and Rose about their dads bc Bruce and Slade are eerily similar in how they cope with their respective issues. Jason and Eddie can also connect over their bio dads being kind of shit (I say kind of because there's nothing I hate more than physically abusive Willis Todd. I am not kidding when I say that's the worst Jason retcon that Lobdell has ever come up with) and how they never felt wanted or loved by their parents. All three of them can relate to how their parents' abandonment (or, in Rose's case, Slade's lack of knowledge) shaped them as people. Lotssss of parallels to be drawn here

Also, obviously, Roy Harper cameo. But get this. He's here because of ROSE. I do enjoy platonic jayroy (and romantic but I don't want it to be canon) but I think the connection Roy has with Rose is a little deeper. I think he'd want to check on her after so many years (he was her foster dad! for fucks sake!) and make sure that she's doing well, considering he knows how Jason can Get.

There would also most likely be a YJ/Tim's TT crossover because duh, Eddie and Rose were in TT03 and Jason has his whole Thing (negative) with Tim, but I'm gonna be so vulnerable here and admit that the only TT03 issues I read are the ones with Mia in them + #42 + the one where Rose lights up her cigarette with Eddie's mouth fire. So, you know, can't give much insight here. Not really a Titans fan regardless of the team itself but if this Outlaws was to ever happen I'd want the author to include them in something.

Also, I think we should get a special issue where Slade repeatedly gets his ass kicked. Rose doesn't even participate but Jason and Eddie do it in her honor. Just for funsies

OH ALSO. I'd want them to bring an artist from the 2000s back. I just don't like the current art styles nearly as much </3 unless it's Ngozi. Ngozi's art is too cute to say no and I would kill to see her draw Rose!! Or or, Jason Fabok, because his art is just everything

[llamasaysrandomstuff]

intermezzo

circling the lives of two brothers who have just lost their father, intermezzo spoke to my heart.

(just to start, the lack of quotations doesnt bother me at all. in fact, when i read my first rooney book, normal people, the lack of them did not even phase me. it was only after seeing multiple people being offended on the internet i realised that it was such a big controversy.)

the joycean writing style appealed to me and the stream of conscious thoughts made it feel like i was reading the characters journal.

when i started the book i was certain that i would relate to ivan, the younger brother, the chess prodigy. mostly because of his personality (not brilliance). shy, reserved, and an awkward conversationalist. i saw myself reflected in the way ivan carried himself. a lil too familiar with being afraid to exist in the moment and claiming space for yourself. struggling with his falling rank in chess and wanting to succeed, ivan soon finds peace and love with a women twice his age. a person who understands him better than most.

you have all these dreams that you're going to keep getting better and better. and then in reality you just start getting worse, and you don't even understand why.

but as the story progressed, i saw peters perspective more clearly. as the elder sibling he felt compelled to check up on ivan. to talk to him after the death of their father. despite struggling with his own issues regarding mental health and love life, peter still makes the effort to give space in his life to his family. an unreciprocated action.

peters seemingly posh life is disturbed by his ongoing indecisiveness. actually, that may not be the right term, he wasn't entirely indecisive. he knew he was in love with both the women in his life. sylvia, his college sweetheart, and naomi, the twentysomething college student. starting with a sexual connection in exchange for money and material possessions, their relationship grows to be more domestic and emotionally charged. meanwhile, peter is still in love with his ex, sylvia. they don't want him to choose. eventually, they arrive at an understanding. a poly situation thatleaves peter with residing guilt.

after i finished the book, three interactions stuck with me

peter and sylvias arguement: still best friends after their breakup, they have grown to find comfort with each other. when peter tries to make a move, they get into a fight where sylvia opens up about the changes in her life following her accident. it left her with chronic pain. they talk about how sex is not a part of her life anymore and they cannot regress to the way things were. sylvias vulnerability and peters longing lead to the crux of their current relationship, i just want you to remember me the way i was.

his life in danger of becoming tolerable for a minute, why not go out of his way to aggrieve and distress the only person who could put up with him

sylvia and ivans conversation about the hat problem: the puzzle made me think and question language and truth. there isn't much to say except that even if youre not going to read the entire book, find a copy and read this excerpt.

language doesn't fit into reality like a toy fitting into a slot. reality is actually one thing and language something else

peter and ivans fight: most sibling dynamics are chaotic and disturbed. peter and ivan showcase this when they start talking about their dad and how their relationship has evolved since they were children. ivan, who once used to idolize peter, is now resentful and feels overshadowed. peter, the elder sibling who always had to shoulder the burden of parenting everyone in his family without appreciation, is burnt out. their conversation leads to a physical altercation, common sibling behavior.

i related to peter so much because

when things get difficult, you're gone. you're out of the room. and that's alright, i don't expect anything else. maybe with dad i did, but i learnt my lesson. he didn't want me to be his son, he wanted me to be his protector. and yours. so that's what i was. all my life, i was looking out for the both of you. and neither of you ever even had the decency to say thanks

there are more nuanced and complicated themes that occur throughout the plot. grief, resent, remorse, self doubt, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, re-sheltering a dog, polygamy, absent parents.

i would love to illustrate more on this, however i just wanted to talk about peter and his struggle with existing on a day to day basis. unable to make decisions that don't harm the people around him. wanting to be a part of the family but not knowing how to without making a mess or feeling like more is owed. wanting someone to appreciate the efforts you put in. dealing with failure and grief. wanting to be a better person. wanting to make the right choice. wanting to feel safe and loved. wanting. and failing.

this is not a book review btw, just me telling u my favorite quotes and thoughts

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for insisting my husband's online friend sign some sort of lease or contract for moving into our house?

So my husband has a friend from a MMO that he met like 5 years ago. This guy moved across the country to get away from his toxic family and live with his partner there. This partner left him earlier this summer, shouldering him with the full financial responsibility for the apartment they used to share, which he could not afford alone. When he heard about this, my husband offered to help, because the friend doesn't have any closer connections and really doesn't want to return to his toxic family, if they'd even have him back. A couple years ago my husband and I bought a house, and it has a guest bedroom, and my husband offered it to him without asking me first. "If you can't find somewhere affordable in time let me know." He did tell me almost immediately afterwards, though. It's his nature to offer help when he has the means to do so, whether it's a friend or a stranger in the Walmart parking lot who needs their engine jumpstarted. I love that about him, but I feel like it's gone a bit far this time.

I've only spoken to this guy myself a couple times when I still played this MMO. We don't know what he looks like, and my husband only just recently learned his real name (he never felt the need to ask before.) But my husband trusts him, and I want to trust my husband. I still have my reservations, though, because I don't know him, and also because after years of living in crappy apartments and with crappy roommates, I highly valued finally having our own private home, where we can be as indiscreet as we like, stay up as late as we want on our days off, and have a place for our friends to crash for the couple nights a year when we can actually get together and get real drunk. But despite all this, I told my husband ok, as long as it's only temporary, and only if he doesn't find any other option before he has to vacate his current apartment. Because I didn't want to be the reason that someone my husband considers a friend to be homeless, or back with an abusive family. There is a verbal agreement/understanding that the friend needs to find a job here ASAP, start paying rent once he has a paycheck, and be looking for a place of his own while he's here.

Well, his friend wasn't able to find anything else, and my husband has already bought a plane ticket for him, and one box of his things has already arrived at our house in advance of his arrival, so it's too late to rescind the offer. I spoke to my mom and mother-in-law about it and they are EXTREMELY skeptical, being older people and all and not really understanding the idea of internet friendships. But after talking to them, I'm more anxious about this than I initially realized. Moms and I floated the idea of drafting some kind of contract or rent agreement or something, so that we have some sort of recourse if this person isn't trustworthy or things go pear shaped. But my husband insisted it isn't necessary to go that far, that this will definitely be a short term thing, but in this economy I really doubt that.

I know now I should've pressed the issue earlier. If I pushed against it hard enough I think my husband would have dropped it. But I also genuinely don't want to be the reason this guy's homeless. It's entirely possible he's a perfectly trustworthy guy and is as nice in person has he has been online. I thought a written agreement would be a fitting compromise since it's definitely too late to pull back without being the asshole for sure, but I want some measure of protection. I'd do some legal research first to make sure it's done correctly. But WIBTA if I insisted on that? what would tumblr do?

What are these acronyms?

[natasha-in-space]

Hi Natasha!! I feel like I disappeared and just... never came back lol

Though I'm here to request! This time for Saeran :o

Seeing as I'm planning on starting Ray route soon, could we have a story about Saeran finally being able to confide within you after ages of ignoring his own feelings? I'd imagine that the MC would pry it out of him after noticing he's been acting odd lately. You could take a school setting or canon setting; whatevers easier!

Or, if that doesn't make sense, you could write something about Ray breaking down over feeling helpless; where he thinks that he doesn't do enough/isn't enough for MC.

Or... you could combine the two ideas and write the whole story about Saeran.

SO sorry if this confused you. Ignore it if it did! its completely fine :3

Hi-Hi, lovely to see you back!! <3 I decided to go with SE Saeran for this one, both because I'm currently in my SE Saeran brainrot and because this seems fitting for him. Good luck on your Ray route playthrough! Make sure to have lots of tissues nearby, because you're about to go on a very wild ride of emotions. Also, for future notice, my name's Mia! Natasha is the name of my OC (dw it's kinda a common thing with my url but I don't wanna change it at this point xD)

"...We all know that something is wrong, you know."

Saeran doesn't pay attention to you while you carefully make your presence known by shuffles of your feet against the floor. You are aware that he heard you. He just doesn't say nor do anything to show it. And that worries you.

Saeran was always the quiet, closed-off type. Not like you could blame him, considering all he had to go through. Similar to a feral cat, you've always respected his silent need for space and freedom. If he wanted to talk, he would talk. If he had a desire to spend time with you, he would approach you on his own. You simply demonstrated your desire to be close to him, so that he would know that you wanted him near you.

But... Even you could sense that something wasn't right today. Saeyoung felt it almost immediately, whether it was thanks to their inherent twin connection or his natural tendency to worry about his younger brother. However, just because Saeyoung knew something was wrong doesn't mean he can do anything about it, unless Saeran openly allows him to.

And he was definitely not doing that.

You had to rush down to the kitchen because you heard the sound of glass breaking, and then Saeran shouting. Upon your arrival, the younger twin had already left the room, only giving you a quick unfocused glance before pushing past you. Thankfully, no one was hurt. You talked with Saeyoung in hushed voices as you both cleaned up the broken shards, offering him some comfort in the process. Although you were concerned about Saeran, Saeyoung was equally important to you. Whenever those kinds of incidents happened, his well-being was just as important. Even if he often refuses to acknowledge it.

It seems that Saeran must have cut himself while preparing dinner, and somehow, this turned into an outburst once Saeyoung became worried and tried to help. Both of you acknowledged that there is a deeper issue at play here. Something underlying right under the surface. And it was probably something very unpleasant.

In the end, you both agreed to have you go and attempt to speak with Saeran. Since you weren't present during the entire scene. So, now here you were, silently standing over the younger twin as he sat on the couch, his back turned to you. It hurt your heart to see him hunched over like that, almost like he was curling in on himself. The position didn't appear to be comfortable to be in.

"Saeran, please... tell me what's wrong. I can see you are in pain." Your voice is soft and quiet. You don't want to accidentally push him away. You slowly take a seat on the edge of the couch, a small distance away from him to give him space to breathe and not get overwhelmed.

He shifts ever so slightly, a jerky movement leaving him with a shaky breath. It was probably supposed to be a huff, but it was far too weak to sound like one.

"...I'm fine."

You sigh. "You're not. Look... You don't have to tell me everything, ok? But, I can see that you are in pain, and I want to help you. So... just tell me what you need. I won't ask for anything more."

That seemed to reassure him just a little bit, judging by the way his shoulders lowered, and he paused, possibly thinking over your request. You didn't say anything, only allowing him to do this at his own pace.

At last, there was a reply.

But instead of verbalizing, he just shifts to sit up on the couch and turns over to you. He doesn't look at you, but quietly pulls out his hand and shows it to you. His palm is caked with relatively fresh blood, a decently sized cut being the source of the red substance painting over his skin. It wasn't anything serious by any means, but it sure looked painful.

However... something told you it wasn't the cut that bothered him. Saeran refused to examine his hand. His head was turned away, and his red bangs were falling over his eyes, making it difficult for you to see his face. But, his lips were pressed together into a thin, tense line. You also couldn't help but notice the ungodly tremble in his hands. They were shaking violently. In a way that clearly showed distress without saying a word.

You carefully grasped his wrist, inspecting the cut. Most of the bloody mess was caused by him smearing the blood over his palm, and it didn't seem as bad as you thought at first. Gently rubbing your thumb over his wrist, you pulled away. "I'll clean it up for you, ok? Just wait here."

He didn't respond, but he did give you a brief nod. You now have all the green light you needed.

Saeran hadn't said a word to you until you wrapped a clean gauze over his palm and gently patted his arm to let him know that you were done. The cautiousness with which he turned to look at his hand was unmistakable. Almost like he was sure he'll see something utterly horrifying in its place. The shaky sigh of relief he did let out, though, made you smile. He flexed his hand a bit and turned it around to look over it fully.

"...Thank you."

The murmur was both quiet and soft. Genuine. His mint eyes were filled with earnest gratitude when he looked at you, and that was all you needed. You merely smiled, giving him a nod. "Of course. Do you feel better now?"

Another nod.

"That's wonderful. I'll go put away the medkit, and-"

"-Wait."

As he grasped at your sleeve, you stopped and turned around to look at him. Once again, his face was turned away from you, but this time it was a far more bashful gesture than a distressed one. You weren't completely sure, but you thought you could see a hint of pink dusting over his cheeks.

Saeran breathed a sigh, almost like he was preparing himself before saying anything. Then, he pulled you back a little bit. "...Stay. Please."

There was no need for you to hear anything else.

And so, that's how you ended up holding him close as you both huddled up on the couch, your chin resting on top of his head as he buried his face in your chest. For a while, only the sounds of your shared breaths filled the space. You promised him you wouldn't ask for anything, and you were not about to go back on that promise.

Saeran was the one who spoke up.

"Is... Hyung alright?"

Humming, you raised your hand to run your fingers through his unruly hair. The main purpose is to keep him calm and relaxed. "He's okay. Very worried about you, though."

Saeran tenses a bit, but then sighs heavily, almost in defeat. You bite back on the desire to push him for answers.

"I... didn't mean to scream at him like that. I just-"

A shaky breath. You squeeze him a bit tighter, your other hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to say, Saeran. None of us blame you."

"-You should."

It was up to you to be the one to sigh now.

"Saeran..."

He shakes his head, but his grip on you tightens, his voice becoming shakier by the moment. It seemed as though he was engaged in a mental battle with himself. It hurt you to be unable to do anything but just hold him and let him talk.

"You know why I started screeching at him for no reason? There must be some rational explanation, right? That's what you think. Well, there isn't. I-" Another shaky breath. The sound of this one was almost like a sob. Your heart started pounding in your chest with anxiety. "I cut my hand on the knife, and just the sight of blood on my hands set me off. I threw a glass bowl at my brother because of a fucking cut on my hand."

You didn't answer right away. Gathering your thoughts and emotions is definitely necessary before you proceed and say something you might regret later. You should be careful here.

So that's what happened... Now that you thought about it, the sight of blood did always make Saeran very uncomfortable. But, to see it coating his hands... Well, you didn't have to guess for long. All three of you were aware of what actually occurred to V on that day.

And what a heavy burden Saeran had to carry with him for the rest of his life.

"Oh... Saeran..."

"-Just-" At this point, it was clear that he was crying. His entire body was shaking with silent sobs as he pressed himself further into you, almost like he was trying to hide from the world in your embrace. "Just hold me. Please. I- I feel so sick..."

So you do. Without uttering a single word. Holding him is what you do. You will have a proper conversation about it once he lets it all out.

Until then, you will be there for him to be his support.

[pip-n-chips]

Mickey (+ a little bit of Landry) headcanons

For most of their life, they had little to no control. They were the type to go along with the abuse to try to make it easier on themself, seething silently and hating the helplessness they felt

Maybe Bailey used to use them for their dirty work (hacking-related stuff), either personally or for Bailey's clients. It was either that or pay rent, and Mickey was such a recluse they would have been doomed if they didn't have this option, as much as they despised it

When they fled from the orphanage, all they could bring was a duffle bag full of belongings, but it's not like they had much anyway. Anything they had to leave behind they either gave to other orphans or disposed of- there's no way they're leaving any trace of themself for Bailey to stumble across

Landry gave them a lot of their current clothes, old hand-me-downs of theirs that were collecting dust (a lot were old band shirts, mainly rock*)

* NGL most of the stuff they gave Mickey was thrifted (or stolen), but some stuff was obtained first-hand! I like to think Landry used to travel a lot before they settled down here (pshhh nahh not cause they were on the run what are you talking about-) so they got to experience a lot of things most of the unlucky schmucks in this town would never get to see

Mickey was never really given the chance to form meaningful connections with others- the ones they did have were other orphans, and as each friend(?) disappeared one by one (because they couldn't meet Bailey's demands or otherwise), they stopped trying. it hurt too much

Unfortunately for them, they formed some kind of attachment to Landry. It's complicated, though. (Parental figure? Friend? Crime version of a coworker? All of the above?) Either way, they care for Landry, and they don't know what to do with these feelings

And PC as well. I think their feelings involving you are a bit less complicated, but, ehh,,, Keyword: a bit.

Cuts their own hair, but not often at all. They mainly care about the bangs, 'cuz they can't stand it when it goes over their eyes, the rest they just put up in a ponytail once it grows long enough. They never go to a hairdresser, but they do eventually trust Landry enough to help cut it for them, but asking for help is a problem in itself.

Used to have glasses a year+ ago, but they broke, and they haven't been able to replace them since. Their eyesight isn't terrible, but it still affects their day-to-day life a lot. (Thankfully their job just requires being close to screens, anyway. So it's not too much of a problem atm)

Always wears socks, they can't stand the feeling of dirt and crumbs getting on their feet, whether at the orphanage or the pub

However, they rarely wear shoes, could be a sensory related issue. Either way, if they do wear shoes, it's mainly Crocs (or whatever knockoff brands there are), and only if they have to go outside

They're asexual + nonbinary

Can NOT sit normally, at all. Sits a lot like L from Death Note. Alternative is criss cross

Has chronic insomnia. Unsure if they've always had it or if it was in relation to trauma, the lines get too blurred, anyway.

When they do sleep, though, it's usually sorta in a closed-off position, with their arms folded against them. Also sleeps in fetal position

[kwillow]

What traits do the people in theos choosen few have?

Ngl theo definitely seems like he'd be the kind of guy to enjoy quietly spending time with someone where you're both in the same room but doing different things, but like no talking, no contact, just in each other's presence

I'm answering this one a bit out of the context of Amaranthine specifically because it got me thinking about all the various people Theo's gotten close to in all his incarnations as a character over the past too-many years. Not all of these characters are in his "current" story, but the through-line of his desired traits in a "chosen one" are there nonetheless. He's developed a diverse set of friends that don't have too much in common at first blush. But there are a few commonalities!

As established, Theo is extremely paranoid and has been burned by people many times before, which is one of his many barriers to getting close to others. A person often needs to have a quality that makes them feel more "safe" to him in order for him to stop seeing them as a potential enemy. Most often, this trait is "innocence" or "naïveté," or put in another sense, being so stupid Theo can't possibly imagine them trying to betray him. In one AU (Fallout), he developed weird friendships with three people (Jack, Frank and Dwight) because he thought they were all incredibly dumb and utterly clueless and therefore anything kind they did for him was probably genuine. In another roleplay I did with him, he very quickly developed a bond (and very one-sided infatuation) with a blind woman. She literally couldn't judge him on appearances, so he felt less defensive around her.

He tends to feel even more guarded around men compared to women for various reasons (daddy issues, bad school experiences, often more physically threatening to a little guy like him, feeling the primal urge to battle for dominance, so on), so it's theoretically easier for him to become close to women. At least, it's harder for him to start off on the complete wrong foot with a woman than he can with a man, where he takes a look at a random fellow and just decides he's a "bad sort" and cannot be convinced otherwise. That said, he can get close to fellas and he absolutely can learn to loathe a woman, as Hyden and (eventually) Alex could attest.

Hyden gets around the paranoia by being someone who Theo thought was dead for hundreds of years. It's safe to idolize a dead man because he'll never hurt you. Of course, Hyden isn't dead, but Theo already developed his imaginary bond with Hyden-as-historical-figure before he found that out, so Hyden got to fast-track the Theo friendship process.

He also thrives off of being people's protector (which is kind of hard as an asthmatic little person whose main form of exercise is lifting heavy books off the shelf, but he tries). The easiest way to forge a connection with him is to make him happen to stand between you and someone who strikes him as a "bully." Yes, like many men who would dare to say "milady," he is a white knight in pinstriped armor. It is very, VERY hard for him to resist the urge to defend someone he's been made to feel a sense of responsibility for, even if his more cynical side is telling him to just leave someone to their fate. Of course, that's all very noble until he ends up resolutely defending an evil warlock from the people whose lives were destroyed by evil warlock magic.

Theo also isn't someone who really grew up having those things called "friends." He tends to have trouble conceptualizing what a relationship between peers is even supposed to be like. Therefore, he tends to shirk his "equals" and instead is unconsciously more drawn to people he considers either above or below himself in station, intelligence, age etc., as that gives him more of an idea of how he's supposed to behave. He tends to seek out relationships he can imagine to mirror familial bonds (replacement parental figures or "wards") or mythologized dynamics from fantasy novels (handmaidens and feudal lords) because those are the dynamics he's familiar with and feels he can fulfill the duties of, more or less. (That said, he prefers people "below" him in almost every circumstance due to insecurity reasons.) If given enough time, he can ease out of those roles and into a more balanced connection, though.

ALL THAT SAID, none of this is a guarantee. Someone could be a completely innocent, harmless little peasant waif who gets beaten up by burly football players on his doorstop every day and he could still just slam the door and yell at them to stop annoying him with all that racket. In the end, excepting rare impulses of charity, he's a deeply unpleasant and misanthropic man driven by irrational pseudo-logic and unstable moods - you kind of just have to be there at the right time to catch him when his rotten little heart is open.

FINALLY, as for enjoying parallel relaxation as quality time, I'd say that's his "default" mode of enjoying people's company. But he can learn to enjoy more energetic ways of bonding with people (maybe a little too much... he can have some serious thrill-seeking issues if exposure to enough excitement brings them out). As much as he'd insist he could only tolerate another person if they have a taste for opera and quiet reflection, I think he could really get into a monster truck rally if he'd let himself get in the mood for it.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Shantae Headcanons - Couples/Romance

So! This is a bit different! Currently, I'm trying to get my writer brain back in gear (or more accurately get it focused on Shantae) so I can finish up that Halloween fic that is very late right now, and I tend to find that my writer brain is far more stimulated when I write down these headcanon posts. So, naturally, I got to thinking about what to write a headcanon post about, and I figured, "hey! romance is a fairly good topic!"

The only issue with that is, well...as any long-time followers of this blog will know, aside from Shantops and Skylo (and also Twitchegar but they're fairly minor characters so yknow), which are fairly locked in as my headcanons at this point, I don't really have any solid headcanons for couples. Even with some couples that make frequent appearances on this blog, I'm willing to go for different options if it's submitted or if it'd make a particular quote that much funnier. And, honestly? I do not see that changing as I write these down.

...buuuuuuuuut that isn't going to stop me from writing down headcanons regarding what these characters are seeking out in a relationship! And also writing down how the dynamics for a character's various options would work out. So, with that in mind, let's hop to it!

NOTE: EXTREMELY LONG POST UP AHEAD. Like I say that a lot but good god this is a long one. I thought I ran into a text limit like twice and for good reason. You've been warned

Shantae/Rottytops

Starting strong with the fan favorite half-genie and zombie couple...when it comes to who started crushing on who first, obviously, Rottytops was first, like, right from the get-go - with her initial internal thought of "oh hey this girl's cute" rapidly spiraling into "I would propose to her on the spot without hesitation." Shantae, meanwhile, only started reciprocating around Pirate's Curse, but while she might not show it as blatantly or as frequently as Rotty, she is equally down bad for the zombie.

I imagine Rottytops as something of a casual flirt - before she met Shantae, during the games themselves, and even after they've gotten together to some extent! She enjoys getting a rise out of people, and flirting with them is both fairly simple and something she doesn't mind doing. She's definitely had a few relationships before Shantae, but nothing particularly serious. All of which is to say that, when she started having actual, deep, serious feelings for Shantae, Rotty had absolutely zero frame of reference, which was both frightening and incredibly exciting at the same time.

Rotty's exact reasons as to why she's so attracted to Shantae are...basically what's stated in-game, but to dig deeper into it, it's that right from the start, Shantae has looked at Rotty - a zombie girl who introduced herself by trying to eat Shantae's brains, a known trickster who wasn't that well-liked even among her fellow zombies, and who Shantae has no reason to trust or have any faith in, especially right after Risky's Revenge - and saw someone who could do better. Someone with potential to do good. Granted, that sentiment was initially expressed as frustrated disappointment, but even then Rotty was dumbfounded once she absorbed the implications of that. Even her brothers haven't expressed that kind of faith in her...more because they think she's fine as is than anything, but still! And while her initial reaction was to try and cling to that bit of faith before what she felt to be an inevitable loss of it, eventually, Rotty decided to take up the hard task of actually improving herself, and doing good, showing Shantae that that tiny bit of faith wasn't misplaced. And that one change in philosophy really made all the difference.

As for what draws Shantae to Rotty...well, after she realized that Rotty was never really malicious, and just trying to connect with her the only way she knew how, she naturally started viewing her a lot more charitably. And it was with that fresh perspective that she started noticing a few things. Like, for instance, how adventurous Rotty is. Daring. Bold. Everyone else Shantae knows tends to think at least a little bit before they say something, but Rotty is never afraid to speak her mind. She is loud, outspoken, and everything Shantae can't - refuses, really - let herself be, and as someone who's always at least a little worried about presenting herself as an ideal hero, a shining beacon to look to and inspire, there's something very appealing about a girl who just. Doesn't give a shit about any of that. And what really did it for Shantae is just how outspoken Rotty is regarding her. Rottytops has seen some of the aspects Shantae views least charitably about herself, mainly her temper, and in spite of it all, Rotty sees the world in her - and as the queen of self-esteem issues (even if most of them were ironed out post-Pirate's Curse), there's something very awe-inspiring about that to Shantae. Especially as Rottytops became more of an ally, her mind just...she had to wonder. Consider the possibilities. Something about the prospect of getting closer to Rotty got her heart racing, and yet- Rotty would have said something if she felt the same, right? Did she really want to risk losing it all?

Then Seven Sirens happened, and as Shantae and her friends were heading home, her mind happened to wander back to the moment where she encountered "Fillin" in her cage, and without the stress of dealing with the Sirens getting in the way, she then properly processed...literally everything in that scene, and that was when it clicked for Shantae that, "oh. OH. I don't think either of us are normal about this, actually." That was what finally compelled Shantae to confess, because, well...even if she was wrong, after all the shenanigans Rotty went through to get in just because she thought she might not be invited, she was fairly certain a love confession wouldn't get her to leave. And she was right on that front! Very, very right.

Their exact relationship hasn't overtly changed that much on Rotty's end, it's just that Rotty's turned her more subtle flirting into something significantly more blatant. She loves showering Shantae with affection, both physical and emotional, both because she feels Shantae deserves more of it and because she enjoys how easy it is to fluster Shantae with her flirting. She's also made more of a habit to let Shantae in on her schemes, which Shantae appreciates since it helps avoid another Fillin incident - not to mention, it lets her help Rotty be more reasonable with her schemes, pull her back when she might be going too far or redirecting her efforts if she thinks they might be a bit much...and, on the occasion that one of Rotty's schemes is perfectly fine and harmless, give Shantae a chance to lend a helping hand. Never let it be said that she doesn't have a mischievous side to her.

As for Shantae, she doesn't have nearly as much dating experience as Rotty does, so while she'll gladly return the favor when it comes to giving her affection, she doesn't do it to quite the same frequency as Rotty does, at least in public - partially because some irrational part of Shantae's brain is worried about doing too much, partially because Shantae personally likes to be a bit more deliberate with her affection. When in private, however, she's willing to get very intimate in a way that Rotty's previous relationships have not prepared her for in the slightest. She'll hold her close, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, slowly run her hands through Rotty's hair and down her back...and, honestly, Shantae would be lying if she said that there wasn't any appeal in flustering Rotty just as much as she can fluster her.

Rottytops personally gets a bit thrilled about the idea of Shantae having a darker side to her - I mean, just look at her initial reaction to Nega Shantae in Friends to the End - and it's a subject that comes up rather frequently in her more wild fantasies. Though, if push were to come to shove...she fell in love with Shantae for her kind and caring nature, and ultimately, Rotty prefers Shantae as she is. Although she'd never publicly admit it. She has a reputation to maintain as a bad influence, after all! That being said, Shantae is a lot more willing to play ball than you might think, at least in private, and has a few ideas of her own that she'd be far too embarrassed to try with anyone else, much to Rottytops' delight.

The most anyone else knows about that last part is when, one time, Rotty was walking home with about two dozen obvious bite marks and a dopey smile on her face, and Sky felt the need to stop her because she was worried that Rotty had run into a pack of feral zombies. She did not understand why Rottytops burst out laughing until she brought it up with Shantae and the half-genie went about as red as her outfit, muttering that she didn't think it was THAT obvious...at which point, Sky resolutely decided to never ask about Shantae and Rotty's private life. Ever.

Sky/Bolo

Moving on to our OTHER main protagonists...Sky and Bolo, despite being the only two characters who actively pursue romantic relationships in the games, have somehow never caught on that a potential romantic relationship with the potential to fill both of their needs is right there, and I imagine it takes them a little while longer for either of them to catch onto that little fact yet...as in, several months after Shantae and Rottytops have officially begun dating longer. I internally like calling this ship "Three Feet in Front of You" after the famous Mulan bit of "You missed! How could you miss, it was three feet in front of you!", because if that isn't a perfect summary of their relationship up until they actually start dating, I don't know what is.

I'm not going to get into how they start dating because I have an entire fic about that - a fic which I really need to get to writing the other three chapters for at some point - but the tl;dr is that Rottytops, tired of waiting for them to get their heads out of their asses, decided to play matchmaker, and while said plan...didn't quite work the way she intended, it DID ultimately help get them together, albeit in a very roundabout way.

Both Sky and Bolo are bisexual. For Bolo, it was more of a quiet "huh" realization, with a very casual acceptance and slight change in lifestyle, but nothing particularly groundbreaking for him. Probably realized it before the events of the games, even. Sky, on the other hand...as I've said before, I imagine she was repressed for a WHILE on account of her parent's pressure, so she just assumed she was straight because she did experience attraction to men, and it wasn't like her parents would accept any other option. right? Or so she assumed. So, what exactly got Sky to realize she was bisexual? ...Rottytops. It was Rottytops. And that is a secret she fully intends on taking to her grave - no pun intended - because she knows Rotty would never let her live it down if she knew.

That being said, Rottytops was not Sky's first sapphic crush, at least beyond anything superficial. This is going to slightly spoil that fic I mentioned earlier whenever I DO get to finishing that second chapter, but that honor actually goes to Harmony - Rotty's plan to get Sky and Bolo together involved using Harmony to inspire jealousy in Sky, but what happened instead was that Sky quickly found herself to be incredibly attracted to the half-genie, and ended up asking her out. The relationship was short-lived, but they're on good terms, and Sky has entertained the idea of opening up her and Bolo's relationship and bringing Harmony in...but it'd take a while for her to bring up that possibility to Bolo, both because she'd want to get a good feel for what a stable, long-term relationship feels like before potentially shaking it up, and because Sky feels incredibly guilty about how she acted back then, even with Harmony being understanding, and it'd take a long time for that guilt to fade. Everyone agrees that Harmony was a significantly better choice than Barracuda Joe and Armor Baron, though.

Sky has a very specific type that pretty much all of her romantic endeavors fall under. She looks for someone who's...responsible. Someone grounded. Strong, both in a physical and metaphorical sense, someone she feels she can entrust her life to and be safe with. Barracuda Joe counted as a high-ranking lieutenant in the Ammonian Army who plays the straight man to Ammo Baron's over-the-top antics, Armor Baron...was at least able to act the part as a trusted authority figure in Armor Town up until he pulled out the rug from under her with his enchanted armor, Harmony goes without saying, and even if he can be a bit dense sometimes, Bolo was the one who taught Shantae how to fight, and he was shown to act as a babysitter for a bunch of zombie kids, so he can clearly be responsible if the situation calls for it. Bolo, meanwhile, is a lot less picky, more just looking for someone who appreciates him for who he is and doesn't automatically write him off as some meathead, and Sky is more than happy to oblige on that front.

Another criteria for Sky's romantic partners that Harmony accidentally introduced is "do Sky's birds like them?" Both Harmony and Bolo pass this criteria with flying colors, with Sky's birds absolutely adoring Harmony, and Bolo being the only human besides Sky who they trust and can really handle them. This has been a major relief for Sky, as she can often worry about how her birds are handling things without her whenever she leaves for an extended period of time, so having someone she can trust to keep an eye on them is...nice! Especially considering how both Shantae and Rottytops swear that Sky's birds are demons in disguise after one extended babysitting session. She had no idea they could get that agitated just from her not being there.

Sky and Bolo aren't the most physically affectionate couple, especially compared to Shantae and Rottytops, but that's more because they just show their affection in significantly different ways. For Sky, that comes in the form of meticulous planning, though she's thankfully toned it down to a much more reasonable level from the control freak/"planning their marriage after only a few hours" level of planning shown in Pirate's Curse. In Sky's eyes, the best way to show her love to Bolo is to give him the perfect date, or the perfect gift, and the level of planning and scheming she will do to achieve that is enough to impress even Rottytops. Bolo, meanwhile, is the more physically affectionate of the two, but for the most part his love tends to come in the form of gifts, whether it be traditional things like flowers and chocolates to the significantly less conventional when he puts his metalworking skills to good use. Sky actually finds herself more interested in the latter than the former, because Bolo's fairly good at doing metal sculptures - even if the finer details can escape him - and she's found herself far more entranced by the level of love and heart he puts into them than any of the traditional gifts she used to daydream about. It's a surprise for both of them, but it works.

Sky's always supported Bolo and helped with his insecurities, but now that she's DATING him, that support has become a lot more vocal. She's formed an unofficial alliance with Rottytops with the mutual sentiment of "if anyone talks shit about either of our partners we will beat them to death," and the intensity of this alliance is honestly a bit frightening for both Bolo and Shantae, but at the same time extremely flattering for both of them.

Risky Boots

This section is going to be a lot shorter than the other ones, because, well...I don't really ship Risky with anyone? And the amount of people she CAN be shipped with is very slim, especially considering that she is absolutely a lesbian in my mind and there is no budging on that front. It also doesn't help that romantic relationships require a lot of emotional vulnerability and getting Risky to be emotionally vulnerable in any capacity is like pulling teeth through a maze made entirely of knifes and trying not to get a single scratch. Buuuuuut, she IS the main antagonist of the franchise, and I have thought over a few options before, so getting into those now...

Risky/Empress Siren: AKA the "hand in unlovable hand" route. Noooooooot even remotely healthy for either party but it's definitely an option! In this case, I imagine the relationship springs up relatively naturally after Seven Sirens - Empress Siren survives, pulls herself together like I've described in my previous Siren headcanon posts...and at some point, her mind wanders to Risky. The treacherous pirate who hoodwinked her, keeping her just out of reach of pure ultimate power, and ultimately equally responsible for her downfall as that accursed half-genie...but. She's cunning, incredibly vicious, has a lofty ambition, and isn't exactly bad on the eyes, either - all of which are traits Empress Siren can admire and approve of. So, compared to Shantae, who she just actively wants dead, Empress views Risky both as a respectable and worthy rival AND as a potential romantic prospect. She either wants to kill Risky in a climactic battle or to have her as a consort when she launches her reign over the world; they're interchangeable to Empress, really, and either way she WILL openly flirt with Risky...though, exactly what Empress Siren considers flirting is not quite what most people would consider flirting.

Naturally, Risky is not at all enthusiastic about this, for a multitude of reasons - Empress Siren is vile even by her standards, she doesn't appreciate being viewed as some sort of prize, and she's still a bit pissed about the whole "stealing her body" stunt. Yes, she expected Empress Siren to betray her in advance and made sure to prepare properly, but she wasn't expecting it to happen it like THAT! ...But. As much as she hates to admit it, Empress Siren is a formidable opponent, and her twisted affections are one of the few weaknesses she can readily and easily exploit, so sometimes it's more practical to just suck it up and play into it, if only so she can get the upper hand. And if she has the occasional fantasy of a better world - one where Empress Siren isn't an egomaniacal ex-tyrant to make the Pirate Master proud, one where she's interested in Risky for who she is rather than what she has to offer her, one where Risky could, just maybe, have a partner who wouldn't be scared of her reputation or her many, many enemies, one who could keep up with Risky in a fight and on the sea, one who she could share her self-proclaimed throne as the Queen of the Seven Seas with? Well, that's none of Empress Siren's business. Even if sometimes those fantasies are the only way Risky can manage to lock lips with the siren without giving the game away. ESPECIALLY considering that, actually.

Risky/Giga Mermaid: If you want an actually HEALTHY relationship for Risky that's also at least somewhat feasible...Giga Mermaid. This sounds like a crack ship and I can't really blame you if you think that but let me explain my reasoning here. As I sorta went into near the end of the Risky/Empress Siren section there, on top of literally ALL the aforementioned issues I mentioned before, I imagine Risky would have a few...concerns about how her lifestyle would affect the life of any potential romantic partner. Empress Siren side steps all of those concerns and would be PERFECT if not for her entire personality being a red flag in and of itself, but Giga Mermaid also manages to avoid most of the concerns Risky would have. Intimidated by Risky's reputation? Well, she's giant, so I imagine that not a lot actually intimidates her to begin with, and besides that Risky saved Giga Mermaid in Pirate Queen's Quest, marking her as one of the few people Risky has actually been nice to and meaning she actually has reason to see Risky in a positive light. Risky's enemies? After Techno Baron kidnaps her twice, Giga Mermaid would definitely invest in better security, and with her size and at least some magic she can hold her own in a fight when she's actually thinking straight. Risky being at sea most of the time isn't an issue for someone who's naturally aquatic, either. The only real potential issue is how Giga Mermaid would react to Risky's ambition, as well as one on Giga Mermaid's side: her reputation as a ruler. Oh, and also how they would even meet up again, but I have that covered.

The way I'm envisioning this would start is fairly simple: Risky's out on the sea, figuring out her next plan after Seven Sirens, and she finds that resources on her ship are running low, so she elects to head to a nearby island for a quick and quiet supply run...only for Giga Mermaid to suddenly emerge from the water and stop the ship in its tracks. After a bit of outraged raving from Risky, Giga Mermaid very calmly explains that the island Risky's trying to head to is currently home to a secret but very IMPORTANT meeting between a bunch of major political powers, meaning that the island is currently armed to the teeth. That gets Risky to shut up real fast. Right now, that island is a death trap for any criminal there, let alone one so infamous as Risky. Even with a disguise she'd get figured out pretty quickly with so many on the look out for potential miscreants who might want to crash the party, and she can't exactly go on the offensive with her supplies being low...so Giga Mermaid gives her a simple offer: she'll give Risky that favor Risky insisted she owed her for saving her life back then, stowing Risky and her crew away somewhere secret and away from prying eyes until the meeting is done in a few days. It burns at Risky's pride a bit, but she really doesn't have any other option that ends in her favor, so she takes Giga Mermaid up on that offer.

Once Giga Mermaid settles her and the Tinkerbats in, Risky initially assumes that it's going to be a quiet couple of days without much to do, except...as the sun begins to set on the first day, Giga Mermaid shows up, done with the meeting for the day, and just. Talks to her. Initially she tries to ask about Risky in an attempt to understand her more, which naturally results in Risky dodging those questions like the plague, but the pirate ends up opening up more the second day when Giga Mermaid comes in steaming and vents about some of the politicians she had to deal with, inadvertently revealing more about herself in the process. This continues on as the days go by, with Risky gradually becoming more comfortable with Giga Mermaid, up until the sixth and final day of Risky's stay, where she can tentatively call Giga Mermaid a friend...and, possibly, a bit more in her dreams. But she's also sure it won't last. And when all the other political parties leave, and Risky is finally able to get her supplies, she bids Giga Mermaid what she assumes to be a final farewell, because she isn't giving up being the Queen of the Seven Seas for anyone, not even for royalty, and having a friendly relationship with a pirate has to be a breaking point for her, if just because of her reputation...only to abruptly have those assumptions thrown out the window when Giga Mermaid bluntly informs her that she doesn't care what wild assumptions people might make about her for hanging out with a pirate, and for that matter she isn't going to fight Risky on her ambition either.

Naturally, Giga Mermaid's blunt confession confuses Risky to the point where she gets right in her face and asks if she's lost her mind. Giga Mermaid admits that, while she does have a few issues with Risky's choice of career, she can acknowledge that Risky is her own woman and she can't exactly STOP her. She does, however, have one suggestion: speaking from her experience dealing with other politicians and her own royal court, there are quite a few corrupt nobles out there. Ones that people probably wouldn't miss if they were gone…and also happen to have quite the mass of wealth to their name. If Risky shifts targets from large towns to those few nobles, she'll get just as much, if not MORE than she did before, and still maintain her fearsome reputation as Queen of the Seven Seas without anyone questioning her too much. It'd just be that who fears her the most would be a bit, ah, shifted, is all. And…Risky has to admit that she raises a valid point. Incredibly valid, actually. Some could accuse her of becoming soft, sure, but those voices wouldn't be quite so bold with a sword at their throat. The only real potential protestor to all this would really be herself. And while that's not enough to sway her completely…Risky does say she'll think on it.

And so, the unlikely friendship carries on, albeit meeting in secret - more at Risky's insistence than Giga Mermaid's - with Risky gradually leaning more into morally gray territory rather than being an outright villain as she speaks more and more with Giga Mermaid, even if she'd never admit it. And then - it happens. Risky doesn't know what prompts it. Maybe it's being at sea with no one to interact but the Tinkerbats for a while, maybe it's the way Giga Mermaid laughs when she regales the queen with the tale of how she utterly humiliated a major noble - one who, coincidentally, happened to give Giga Mermaid a lot of trouble during that fateful political meeting - or maybe it's just because she's wanted to do it for a while, but during one of their meetings, Risky ends up kissing Giga Mermaid. Just a simple peck on the tip of the queen's nose, nothing more, but it's still enough to get Risky to freeze up, internally reprimand herself because what is she DOING, and immediately start barking out half-baked threats to keep Giga Mermaid from mentioning the incident to anyone…which all promptly fall short in the face of the surprised, but sly smile on Giga Mermaid's face. She wasn't EXPECTING for Risky to feel that way towards her, but she isn't complaining, and casually mentions that there's a spell she uses whenever she has to go to a political meeting not in her own kingdom, and therefore not built for her size, that she'd like to show Risky next time they meet. Confused, but mostly just relieved that Giga Mermaid isn't going to say anything, Risky agrees to see the spell. Cut to a few days later, when something suddenly stops Risky's ship. She instinctively looks around to see if she can spot Giga Mermaid…only to hear her clear her throat at a considerably quieter volume than usual. Risky turns around to see the Giga Mermaid at a more human size with the slightest of smirks and a raised eyebrow. Turns out, that's the spell - something that shrinks Giga Mermaid down to a more manageable size, if only for a few hours. And that's when she gives Risky another offer: a true, proper kiss this time. Risky takes the deal without any hesitation.

OKAY. Risky/Giga Mermaid scenario over. So, what relationship could possibly top that? …honestly, nothing; that scenario ended up being more intensive than I expected, but! Anyway, for the last Risky ship, I have one quick offering: Risky/Squidsmith. This one is definitely a crackship since the two haven't even interacted, but it IS pretty funny to me because, if you don't already know, I headcanon Squidsmith to be Bolo's mom, as detailed here. So the way I imagine this working is that Risky ends up walking into a bar where the Squidsmith is at after a long day of work. And in a brilliant moment that shows exactly where her son got his denseness from, she proceeds to not recognize Risky at all and casually flirt with her. Risky attempts to dissuade her, but Squidsmith is insistent, and eventually…Risky sighs, deciding to humor the woman and stay at her temporary home for her work for the night. And then that night goes very well for her, so when Risky happens to run into Squidsmith again…she a bit more easily persuaded this time. And the next time. And the next time. And the next time…and all the while, Squidsmith STILL doesn't connect the dots, and does not until word eventually spreads to Shantae via Bolo and she promptly realizes just who Bolo's mom has been dating. Naturally, hilarity ensues.

The Half Genies

So! Onto the half-genies! These four tend to be subject to the whole "whoever I ship is subject to whatever would be funniest" phenomenon the most frequently, since I don't really have any particular ships in mind for them. There's still more to talk about than Risky, though...which, uh, might not QUITE be the right thing to say considering how long that Risky/Giga Mermaid section ended up being. Hopefully I don't have to break up the list this time.

Starting with a half-genie I've already mentioned - and have notably more solid headcanons for - Harmony! I've only very briefly mentioned it before in a different post, but I firmly think she's asexual, though still open to romantic relationships of the sapphic variety. There's a certain level of irony to this because Harmony is also built like an Amazon, and there are a lot of people who find her attractive...and Harmony, through a combination of the aforementioned asexuality and just not having a lot of social interaction to go off of, has been completely oblivious to this up until recently. Up until she was used for the set up for Rottytops' plan to get Sky and Bolo together that ended up resulting in her briefly dating Sky, to be precise. It was her first experience being in a romantic relationship, and even if it wasn't exactly perfect by any stretch, Harmony still thinks of it fondly. If Sky were to approach her with the prospect of including her in Sky and Bolo's relationship, she'd be more than happy to say yes.

Harmony is actually fairly similar to Shantae when it comes to romantic relationships - she may be incredibly confident in herself, with a lot of experience in defending her town, being a leader, and keeping a calm and level-headed demeanor, but a romantic relationship is still a relatively new and exciting prospect for her, so she can be a bit nervous, especially in public settings. To be quite honest, though, she doesn't mind. It's actually part of the appeal of a romantic relationship to her, that she's so incredibly new to the whole thing and vulnerable in a way she normally isn't. Harmony takes her duties as a Guardian Genie very seriously, making herself a pillar of strength and self-confidence that others can look up to and depend on...but that doesn't mean that Harmony doesn't want some support herself, sometimes. And sure, with the Half-Genie festival she's gotten some friends who are more than willing to help in that regard, and she's very thankful for it, but- part of what appeals so much about a romantic relationship to Harmony is the prospect of someone who she can always trust to have her back when it all gets to be a bit too much. Someone she can trust to protect her at her weakest, and someone she can protect in turn. It's part of what made Sky so appealing to her - she'd heard how Sky helped Shantae through some of her lowest moments, and then seeing Sky with her birds, being so gentle and caring and kind...she may not have been the one to ask for a relationship, but she accepted it incredibly quick.

With all that being said, I, uh. Don't really have anyone I ship with Harmony besides the whole "did previously date Sky"/"would be open to a Sky/Bolo/Harmony polycule" thing. Like, I see a lot of people attracted to Harmony, sure, but not so much in a romantic relationship with her. In all honesty besides the polycule scenario I think Harmony's best romantic option would probably be a civilian? Which we don't really have any particularly stand-out examples of, so...yeah. I did have a fic idea for where Harmony strikes it up with that one zombie tourist girl NPC we see in Seven Sirens, though. Unfortunately I do not remember any of the details in the slightest so you'll have to get back to me on that one.

Getting to the other three...the two most prominent ships involving them are here are Zapple/Vera and Plink/Vera, and while I still don't plan on locking down a solid headcanon for which one I'd go with...I will say that, at least in the early days of the blog, I tended to lean more towards Zapple/Vera, but I have been seeing the appeal of Plink/Vera these days. So, getting into those ships now-

With Zapple/Vera, I imagine the dynamic doesn't really change much from the one I've given them as friends. Zapple is similar to Rottytops in that she can be a bit of a troublemaker, but whereas Rottytops just loves causing problems on purpose, in Zapple's case it's moreso because she has at least five different conspiracies in her head at all times and doesn't fear god. Vera's used to this just from knowing Zapple for so long, but dating her ratchets up the intensity somehow just because her dating ideas really aren't too different from the multitude of times she's gone "hey Vera you know what would be a cool idea" or went "Vera there's no time to explain we need to commit arson." You can never say a date Zapple plans is a dull one, that's for sure. But she's also a lot more...attentive to Vera than before. She's always known Zapple cares, willing to help her with any problem that arises and helping lift her spirits with her dry sense of humor and sheer enthusiasm, but now she pays attention to Vera's physical and mental health with the same paranoid intensity she gives her various conspiracies, declaring herself Vera's medic and fussing over the smallest things in a way that Vera finds both hilarious and heartwarming. As for Vera's side of things...again, it's similar to before, where she acts as a grounding presence for Zapple both in terms of her more adventurous ideas and her wild conspiracies, it's just that it's gotten notably easier - partially because Zapple is more willing to listen to her, and partially because Vera's found that any sort of physical intimacy makes Zapple's brain short circuit, and she's more than willing to take advantage of that if it keeps Zapple from staying up all night with a conspiracy board.

As for Plink/Vera...while the two might PHYSICALLY be far apart, when you have friends with teleportation magic, any given "long distance" relationship becomes a lot easier to manage, and this one would be no exception. Vera's taken a liking to showing Plink some of the natural wonders of Siren Island she never got around to seeing during her brief stay with the Half-Genie Fesitval, and seeing her eyes light up with delight at whatever Vera shows her is always worth a smile in her eyes. Plink, meanwhile, doesn't come up with the date ideas that often, but when she does, they're always spectacular. One particularly memorable moment in their relationship for both Plink and Vera is when Plink took Vera up a grassy hill late one night, refusing to elaborate what for to avoid spoiling the surprise, sitting her down, and then using her magic to let Vera see what was effectively the supernatural equivalent of an aurora borealis, with equally fantastical sights and colors to be seen. Both of them are also fairly physically intimate, with Vera being especially so when Plink is distressed, holding her close to calm her down. Meanwhile, Plink will give Vera hugs and hold hands with her often, but can be a bit nervous to take it beyond that. Doesn't mean she hasn't, though. Overall, just a particularly nice relationship...nothing crazy, but neither Vera nor Plink mind that at all.

Slightly breaking the mold and going back to Zapple here - ever since I've written my updated Siren headcanons post, which I linked earlier in Risky's section, one ship idea involving Zapple that showed up out of nowhere but has grown on me is Zapple/Octo Siren. Again, this makes more sense if you read that headcanon post, so I recommend you read that, but anyway…after all the Sirens are redeemed, I imagine Octo Siren just. Lives in Zapple's house now. They threw her in there when they kidnapped her for her own good, and she sees zero reason to leave after the fact. I stand by this regardless of whether they'd be in a romantic relationship or not, but it also happens to make for a great starting point for one! Because, as mentioned earlier, Zapple's brain short circuits with physical intimacy, and pretty much all of the Seven Sirens have zero sense of personal space. Which, well. Zapple DID catch onto that a bit with Lobster Siren, but she just figured that she didn't get out much and shrugged it off. It was only when the dust settled and everyone could let out a sigh of relief that she realized that, oh, no, they're all just like this. And now she's living with a girl that is not only fairly attractive, around her age, if a bit older - or at least the equivalent of that by Siren standards - and she shares a mutual understanding with, but also just...has a habit of casually draping herself over Zapple like she's a living lounge chair? Forget short circuiting, something in Zapple's brain has caught fire at this point and the fans are working overtime in a feeble effort to solve the issue while smoke blows out her ears.

Meanwhile, completely oblivious to Zapple's plight, Octo Siren...well. She has to admit, there's actually something of a romantic spark in her heart regarding Zapple, what with the softer side Zapple showed her that fateful night, the way she can relate to her mental struggles, the more wild side of her life that seems both a bit frightening and exciting at the same time...but, she also doesn't want to make the same mistake did with Shantae, even if the half-genie wasn't dating Rottytops at the time, and she's about...75% sure that Zapple and Vera are dating. So, Octo Siren doesn't say anything, intending to latch that romantic spark down, only to find it growing stronger and stronger until one day, she finally cracks a little and asks Zapple if she and Vera are dating. Whatever response she was expecting, it was not Zapple snapping her head over to Octo Siren and very bluntly informing her that Vera and Plink are dating, and also you have been driving me insane for the past three weeks for the love of god please date me.

Needless to say, after a lot of confusion and some explanations, the two ended up dating. Now with something of a proper sense of boundaries, Octo Siren has actually toned down how physical she is with Zapple, which is both a slight disappointment and a MAJOR relief because, as nice as all that contact and touching was, she also kinda needs her brain intact to do her job properly. Octo Siren will still drape herself over Zapple like she's a lounge chair, though, especially if she can tell Zapple's had a long day or that she's making a bad decision for herself - like, say, staying up all night to figure out conspiracies. Octo Siren doesn't have that many date ideas, but everything I said about Zapple's dates regarding the Zapple/Vera ship applies here as well, and while at first Octo Siren finds herself terrified...she also loves it a little? It does not take long into her and Zapple's relationship to become an adrenaline junkie, though thankfully one with more common sense, much to Vera's relief. Zapple is also equally attentive to Octo Siren, which is maybe a bit weird for her since she really hasn't anyone hovering over her like that in her life, but still rather flattering. Octo Siren has found that a good way to keep Zapple from committing to a bad idea - or just to receive a LOT of comfort after a particularly bad day - is to fake having a minor cold, and then watching as Zapple drops everything to help Octo Siren out.

Holly Lingerbean

Now, ending on a bit of a high note...Holly Lingerbean! Some of you are probably wondering WHY Holly in particular instead of, say, the Barons, but I went with Holly for three reasons: firstly, I am incredibly biased. Holly is one of my personal favorite Shantae characters just because she hits a lot of the right buttons for me. Secondly, there's only like two things to talk about for Holly, whereas with the Barons I'd probably have to break up their list twice just going off of Risky and the section with the half-genies. Thirdly, she's like half the reason I had the idea to write this PARTICULAR headcanon post in the first place, but I'll get to that in a bit.

Getting into the first ship, which long-time followers of the blog are probably expecting a bit...Holly Lingerbean/Nega Shantae! These two actually fairly consistently show up in my quotes as a couple, whether that be in a romantic sense or a platonic one, and, well...to be completely honest, I don't really ship the two romantically, it's just that: A.), Holly's like, one of the only few characters Nega Shantae could plausibly be interacting with besides the main four and Uncle Mimic, so it makes sense to put them together, and B.), like I mentioned before, Holly's one of my favorite Shantae characters, and she and Nega Shantae have a very interesting dynamic where, with Nega Shantae's over the top villainous personality, it's maybe one of the few times Holly can actually reasonably play the straight man, and obviously Nega Shantae can play the straight man to Holly just as well. So, in other words, this was mostly a pairing formed out of convenience that serves the actual gimmick of this blog pretty nicely...but, uh, again, I honestly don't ship them that seriously. I DO think they could work as a couple, but I'm personally not that invested in figuring out the specifics. I imagine they'd give off old married couple vibes, i.e. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in the Looney Tunes Show.

Now, to the main event...some of you are probably aware of the Holly redemption AU I have going on with Living Memoir, though I haven't really added to it beyond that initial fic. But that's hardly for lack of trying! I've had plenty of ideas for it, some of which have shown up in other places - hell, the thing about Giga Mermaid having a spell to shrink herself down to a more normal size is actually from one of those fic ideas - and when it got around to pride month last year...well. I ended up having an idea. An idea completely out of left field, mind you, but one that seemed only captivating, so I mused on it. And mused on it. And then I mused on it a bit too hard, and it has been driving me insane ever since, DOUBLY so after I did my updated siren headcanon post and my brain was filled with ideas anew. But I have had approximately no place to really talk about it...until now, when I wrote this headcanon post specifically talking about couples. So, without further ado - Holly Lingerbean/Lobster Siren! ...I swear I can make this make sense

I'm not going to go too much into how they meet because I DO plan on writing that fic at some point, but to make a long story short - Shantae teleports to Siren Island with Holly, still early on in her path to redemption, in order to talk with Zapple and Vera and figure out where Harmony is, since she figures Harmony would be the best mentor for helping Holly expand her magical repertoire beyond...existing, and also messing with memories. Holly, meanwhile, doesn't really care too much about all that jazz, and just wants to get a tan...or at least act like she's getting one. But, as she manages to set herself up in a resort and get out the tanning board, she happens to spot someone out of the corner of her eye - Lobster Siren, currently hiding the best she can and spying on her. Vaguely knowing who she is from Shantae's brief rundown and not really having any thoughts about Lobster besides "huh, she's kinda cute now that I see her in person," Holly asks if she can get the waiting staff so she can order a drink. When Lobster doesn't respond, Holly remembers that she doesn't speak English, and considering her silent nature, opts for sign language instead. She is beyond pleased with herself when she gets a response, Lobster Siren asking in sign how she knows that - ha, success! - only for that pleasure to promptly shatter into a million pieces as she's informed that the particular sign language she's speaking is several centuries out of date.

Legitimately distressed from this news, as taking the time to learn that language to speak to the deaf and mute was one of the few achievements about herself she could still hold high, Holly does what she deems to be the most healthy and normal method of dealing with this issue and very quickly speedwalks away from the problem, ignoring Lobster Siren's cry of concern. This seems like a perfect plan up until Lobster Siren, very quickly fed up with being ignored, teleports directly in front of Holly and physically holds her in place so she can get her to stand still and tell her what's wrong. Because, with Lobster Siren...well. She'd been intending to avoid Holly - first impression spotting her arrival with Shantae a biiiiiiiiit too similar to Empress Siren for her tastes - but now that she's actually interacted with her...there's clearly something different going on here. Empress Siren only bothered learning the language of the surface to better convey her superiority to them, while Holly, as rude as she might have been at first, clearly learned sign language to actually TALK to people considering her reaction. So, beyond feeling a bit guilty for inadvertently causing Holly distress, Lobster Siren wants to take the time to understand Holly better - both how she knows a language lost to time, and how she is as a person. Holly, meanwhile, had pretty much all of her thoughts leave the room as soon as Lobster Siren grabbed her by the wrists and looked at her with that intense gaze, as her status of "mildly interested" very quickly spiraled into "down atrocious," and it goes from there.

Holly is a similar case to Zapple where physical intimacy makes her brain go blank, only with the main difference that she has not had any kind of physical intimacy for a good few centuries, so it is notably worse. Less touch starved and more touch drought. Also, since Holly's not the best at reading people and Lobster is not the best at communicating, for a good while Holly completely misinterpreted Lobster's complete lack of personal space as her being physically possessive, which, ah...really, only made Lobster Siren that much more attractive to Holly. As big as her ego is, it's all mostly hot air, so the idea of someone finding her valuable, someone treating her as important and worthy, even if she's not busy being a hero or a showman or whatever and just being HOLLY? To the point of them physically pulling her close, as if to say "back off, she's mine?" Oh, that gets Holly's heart racing and her brain to melt out her ears. Even when the misconception is cleared up, her immediate first thought is "okay I know you aren't actually like that and that's fine but maybe you could act like you are? for me? please? pretty please?" And Lobster Siren...is actually completely fine with that, since, as previously established, all Lobster Siren did for Holly to think that was act as her usual, lack of personal space self, so she just...deliberately does that afterwards. And Holly loves it.

As for Lobster Siren's end…she's not down as bad as Holly is, but once Holly does tell her exactly how she feels? She can't help but love her back. For one thing, Holly's one of the few people she knows who isn't either frightened of her - i.e., most of Siren Island's tourists - or babies her, and instead just…treats her with respect like an actual adult. Sure, the two aforementioned groups are getting better at that, but Holly did it right from the start and has no intention of stopping. It also helps that, even if Holly's not the best person in the world by a long shot, she is willing to try and get better, which is very admirable in Lobster's eyes. And, what ultimately ends up sealing the deal for Lobster Siren, at least when it comes to turning their friendship into an actual romance, is just how deep Holly's devotion is for her. How much Holly wants to be with her, how much she sees in her that, honestly, Lobster Siren doesn't see in herself most days, how she is 100% willing to spend the rest of her life with her, without hesitation, and without regret. It's frankly surprising how devoted Holly is to Lobster, but she finds it very sweet...if not mildly concerning at times. Again, down atrocious. Once, Holly described an elaborate fantasy she had of Lobster Siren within minutes of them first meeting to her, of her dragging Holly down to the depths and then showing her all the incredible underwater sights, holding her close to make sure she doesn't fall into the abyss of the sea, scaring off any undersea predator that dared draw near, and Lobster politely waited for her to finish before interjecting with a concerned [So did you forget the part where you need to breathe?] in sign, to which Holly went, "Huh? Oh, no, I'm a memory; I don't actually have to breathe if I want to. Why? Are you interested?"

Holly may not be much of a physical fighter, but if you cause Lobster Siren distress in any way, well...she can certainly verbally eviscerate you, and she is damn good at it, what being a former villain and all. Shantae, Bolo, and Lobster Siren are all quietly relieved that Sky and Rottytops don't like Holly enough to include her in their unofficial "if anyone talks shit about our partners we beat them to death" alliance. They fear what the world would look like if they did.

[fayeandknight]

I went to check out another house today and oh boy was it a doozy.

It was originally built in 1881 and I could see from the photos that it was not habitable. But it sits on a half acre in an area I'm interested in. Also I can see the charm in the bones, so to speak. Like a half circle window with built in seating, which to me shouts book nook.

I brought my dad because he's knowledgeable about construction and built our family home from scratch.

Got there and it was immediately obvious that this place is way worse than advertised. The second story all season room looks ready to fall off, there's foam patching along sections of the underside of the roof, porch looks like it'd drop you faster than you could curse, etc. It would be a massive undertaking to make it livable.

But the yard is fairly level and partially fenced in from the neighbors. It's set a decent distance from the road and has ample space from neighbors on all sides. This is big for me because I intend to board dogs (through my current job) and I don't want to piss off neighbors with barking dogs.

And while this isn't a basis to buy such a house on, something about it calls to me in a way I haven't experienced before. More on this under the cut because it's spiritual woo woo talk.

When I do a drive by, I literally drive by. I cruise through the neighborhood and take my time. But I don't go up to the house. However between this place clearly not being occupied and my dad having older white dude audacity, we got out and walked around the yard. We went all the way around the house, he pointed out a test patch where someone investigated the siding and it's layers, stomped on the dilapidated porch, and found a well with a hand crank.

At one point I was standing close to the road while he was on the porch reading orange town issued notices posted on the front door. A guy working for the house across the street stopped to stare at us. My dad gave a friendly wave, the contractor returned it, and despite my fears of the cops being called on us, nothing happened.

I thought initially this might be a place that I buy, spend a few months of heavy sweat equity on and hire a contractor or two for major things. But ultimately could make livable while continuing to fix up within three months or so. In addition to major interior work, it needs rewiring/electrical work, a plumbing overhaul, a new roof and gutters, new siding, a new porch, new windows, and most likely just tearing off the all season porch at minimum. So yeah just a fuck ton of work.

My dad and I agreed that this place was pretty far over our ability to renovate. But something makes me want to dig into it deeper anyway. While I highly doubt this place will turn into anything for me. I'm going to look into possible financing options. And I've set my dad to contacting the listing agent and the county office to see what's up.

My next step is digging into a renovation specific loan, the FHA 203k loan. Even though this place probably won't pan out I think it'll serve as a good test run of what I'd need. Cause let's be honest between the current economy and housing market, whatever I end up with will need work.

I don't typically talk about this, but I am pagan and consider myself a spiritual person. And while I don't see the mystical in the mundane everywhere, when I do I, I do.

When I hesitantly stepped onto the property I got a sense of the house. It's got a presence. Something quiet, mostly dormant, and not a little resigned to being torn down. But it's deep, having grown out from the house itself and into the ground around it. It felt like it cracked one eye half way open to regard me. It was very tired. But it also conveyed a feeling that if I restored it, it would be my house.

It would not only protect and shelter me like a good house should. But it would make sure I was happy there. It would pull on its deep connection to the land to make sure this was a place I thrived in. If I invested in it, it would invest in me with the shared goal of quiet, simple joy.

No bombastic promises of glory or great success. But a secure space to sing off tune while I bake bread. Sunny windows to dry herbs in. And love ingrained in the archways of architectures no longer in fashion.

It's not something I'm willing to use as a reason to immediately go all in on. But I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that it's part of the reason I'm investigating what it would take to make this place a home.

[living-for-fiction]

I've been putting together a realization over the last several months, since I moved in with my girlfriend and metamours; and since an extremely close, important, but ultimately toxic relationship ended.

I love fiction. (No fucking shit, look at my username.) And when I get into a piece of fiction, I tend to latch onto characters that I identify with. Often they are my favorites - not always, but often. Rarely are they the protagonists or the good guys (on occasion they are) and, if they are the antagonists or bad guys, they are sympathetic. They tend to have a few things in common, though.

They're messy. They often have a good core, or once strived to be good people. Then they were badly hurt, usually for a prolonged period of time, generally by people meant to protect them. They began to hurt others, either intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes it was in search of a greater good; sometimes not. Sometimes they're redeemed; sometimes they aren't. But they tend to have these traits: either started out good or have a good core, which becomes buried very deeply under trauma; either starts lashing out from pain or making decisions that harm others in a misguided attempt to minimize pain; hurt and misunderstood, but also genuinely have committed atrocities that cannot be undone.

Lotor. Sam Winchester. Catra. Shigaraki. Toga. Castiel. Dabi. Angel Dust, to an extent. These are the characters I can think of off the top of my head that I've connected to like this recently (by recently I mean within like the last 12 years lol).

Anyways, I had a bit of a realization today when I made a throwaway comment about relating to Catra, and it's that... I don't, anymore. Not as strongly, at least. Oh, I have the strong memories of being so consumed in pain and self-loathing, of knowing that I'm hurting people around me and being unable to stop and sometimes bitterly feeling like I shouldn't need to stop because it's not fair that I have to hurt so much alone. Certainly an incredibly unhealthy way to feel, but I felt that way for... honestly, for most of my life. And I think that's a big reason why I connect with the characters I connect to; the ones who scream out their pain and who end up putting misery into the world, even if they started with the desire to put goodness into the world. Because that resonated with me.

And now, I can connect with that feeling more from memory than from actively feeling it.

I'm currently living in a place where I am accepted wholeheartedly, warts and all. Where the things about me that are strange aren't brushed off when they affect me, minimized, looked down on, anything like that. Where when something feels wrong, the response isn't "get over it" "that's not a problem" or "what the fuck is wrong with you" but "we'll figure it out." Where making accommodations is just part of the way we do things rather than some kind of big fucking deal.

Living in a household with three pther neurodivergent people, I no longer feel like no matter what I do I am HURTING others and like I have to repress parts of myself until I stop hurting them or explode and make things worse.

It's not to say it's a utopia. Four neurodivergent adults living together, of course there are times we run into issues - but that would be the case with four neurotypical adults living together. L has meltdowns, J doesn't always communicate well, S tries to take on everything herself, I have memory and sleep issues... but we don't treat these as moral failings. Because they aren't. We give each other grace and understand that no one is trying to hurt anyone else.

I don't have to feel like that hurt, broken THING screaming into an unhearing void and desperately trying to do good while hurting others with my coping mechanisms or even just by being myself.

[dracomeir]

I've been reading your series funkin adventures and I was wondering how you wrote something that long. Over 300k is an insane amount I can only dream of doing.

omg thank you for reading whatever you read so far. :D

tl;dr of how I did so is basically to not care about being judged by others. As long as you laugh, cry, get mad, or whatever other emotion is felt while reading what you write, then it's good enough. It doesn't have to be perfect, or on the same level as a best selling author. Just do you.

Long explanation below

For better context, I didn't start posting weekly for Funkin' Adventures until I was almost finished writing chapter 15 of the Hell's Dynasty arc. That's 34 chapters with no one besides me giggling, kicking my feet, crying, and laughing at my story. 135,289/347,522 words for the series at the time. (Yes, I checked the word count for that point. lmao) I wrote for myself, and no one else. That's the main reason why I was able to write such a long story with multiple arcs to it. I didn't let the fear of no one else enjoying the story prevent me from writing. As long as I loved reading it, then that was good enough. As long as I laughed and cried at the points where I hope others will too, then it's good enough. You have to settle with good enough because striving for perfection will only lead you to disappointment. Aiming for perfection will lead you to an endless cycle of this isn't good enough, I have to redo it, this is trash, no one will like it, etc, and you'll quickly find yourself unable to post anything at all.

Another reason I'm able to write so much is that I don't let others dictate what I should write. Every story I've written is me venting whether the reader realizes it or not. I write what I want to write, not what others wishes for me to write. It's my story after all, not theirs. I've seen writers take the neat idea of a commenter, work it into their story, and end up hating what the fic has become to the point they give up on their narrative. The story ends up something they no longer wanted it to be, and that's something I try to avoid. I love the ideas others have when it comes to my fics, and it's great if we end up having the same thoughts, but I never let their comments affect my narrative. It's my story to tell. Stories based on my life experiences that I want to tell others in the hopes that maybe they'll learn something from me.

Which brings me to my next point, use what you experienced so far in life to help you write your story. You don't have to create something entirely unique and original. That's impossible to do in this day and age with how many people there are in this world. The reader doesn't have to know if the story is based on your life somehow. I only say things like that in fics like Cyber Connection (based on my experiences as an autistic/selectively mute person), or Drowning in Ecstasy (based on my experience as a paranoid individual with trust issues) since I'm comfortable with others knowing that. The point of creating fanfiction for me is to make something for others to look forward to. As someone who's been dealing with Persistent Depressive Disorder for over a decade of my life, having that weekly or so chapter to look forward to can be enough to keep someone going. That's my purpose in life at this point. (Oh, look. One of the themes in my current on-going fic. Hahaha...)

This is getting long at this point, and it's probably not the answer you were seeking at all, so I'll end it with this. Try not to care so much about the numbers. Some people read something, and forget to hit kudos. (I do this sometimes, and I'm sorry. 😭) Some people don't have the courage to post a comment. Some people are simply lurkers enjoying their fandom, and that's perfectly fine. I used to be like that. Now I'm a part of the fandom I'm in, and I honestly don't see it changing anytime soon.

[knownhag]

Lol so my roommate and former roommate have been having this ongoing conflict for over a year. The two of them had grown close from living together for like a year before I moved in. Former roommate, when we all lived together, felt like my current roommate had been dropping the ball friendship wise, and told her that. She waited a while, felt like her friendship was still being neglected, taken advantage of.

So when she asked me for advice a year ago I said that if she communicated that she felt neglected in the friendship, and that my current roommate's behavior didn't change, then she just has to move on. Like friendships change, people grow apart. Sometimes they end up growing back together but that's not gonna happen if you're pressing the issue. And I told her she's just causing herself more grief by fixating on it.

Well she didn't listen to me and kept pressing the issue and getting more and more resentful. They'd have these back and forth text fights that were sooooo stupid. Every time she came back to me for advice I would say stopppp trying to have this convo over text.

So they had a falling out around when my former roommate moved out. And this could have been an opportunity for them to have space and for the tension to fade but nooooo they had to keep being dramatic over text. They both at least didn't want to put me in the middle.

Then my former roommate's mom got in a car accident, and my current roommate reached out to her to wish her and her mom well, and they communicated civilly a little bit. After some time my current roommate suggested that they connect sometime to ease some of the tension, not necessarily make up but at least talk so eventually they can be around each other without it being unpleasant. They kept trying to get a date down but they kept rescheduling.

So my current roommate says you know what, maybe this just isn't happening right now, and maybe it's just not the time, she was on second thought kind of on the fence about it. So they agree to keep on having space and circling back some other time.

Then my former reaches out and says you know what, I'm not interested in reopening this issue and I just want to move on. My current doesn't respond for a day and my former FREAKS OUT saying how she's rude/terrible/disappointing, all kinds of really extreme things. Keeps texting her shit all day. BLOCKS HER!!

And the next day former texts me, says she wants space, she loves me (I have forever felt confused about the depths of her feelings for me... she's like not someone I care deeply about) but that while she tried to not put me in the middle she was hurt about me not standing up for her or whatever. And it's like literally I told you to move on a year ago and everything you've done since then is annoying and dumb. Sure my current isn't innocent in this, she also participated in terrible and dramatic communication over text. And she can be rude. But if former thinks she sucks so bad then why did she press the issue about rekindling their friendship??

So stupid and now I am in the middle of it and I'm going to have to tell former all of this. Also she's literally in anger management therapy and it's like. How do you not see this is literally what your issue is?? She always has some kind of drama.

And she's the one who is getting married in India in the winter and I'm planning on going to the wedding but now I'm like... girl... idek what she wants me to do to demonstrate my loyalty or anything but I truly can't give a shit about a friend who I think is so unreasonable. Like literally friendships dissolve sometimes I'm sorry you're 32 get with the program

[ash-n-dynamite]

I think there's a lot of reasons I relate to the first 2 seasons of Westworld. The big one is being from a fictional source and realizing your existence isn't what you thought. Then there's a few other details that really resonate, like their concept of cornerstones.

But there's something else that may have triggered a meltdown I had the other night. I've admittedly been getting really upset and concerned about my memory. It feels like I've been losing my grip on reality. It's always little things, but noticing those little things aren't matching what I know has become highly distressing.

I know when your existence is because of trauma a bit of memory loss and confusion should be expected, particularly when being a system. But the thing is we've never noticed any lost time or felt unsure of our reality. So the more that gets pointed out that don't match the more it is starting to make me panic.

Watching a show about reality being a lie didn't help that night.

I had a breakdown over it, and what I had wanted to calmly explain (once I fully figured out what was going on) instead came out during a small anxiety attack from that disconnection with reality. I was a mess.

Typically when having an emotional upheaval Kit takes over, but I stayed in front and kinda... tapped in to Kit's typical emotions when she is overload. I don't know if it was passive influence or we were blended, but it was a very surreal realization that I was still in front, very much myself, and I was addressing an issue I was having but felt like I was reacting as if I was Kit.

And to be fair, while feeling detached from reality is very much a *me* issue I know Kit has had issues with people countering her and denying that she has heard or said things, and that kind of repetitive frustration is just as likely a part of my current issue. The emotional reaction was likely bleedover from Kit's lifelong frustrations.

Its something we've never thought to worry about, and maybe it isn't actually an issue and it's been nothing more than a miscommunication, but I am once again amazed on how things that trouble me seem to have some kind of place in Kit's own history. There's always a connection. I've seen people state that fictives happen for a reason and our own traumas and issues are actually tied to the host's (or overall system's) trauma. I kinda hate that this seems to hold true for me. I personally think my fears are particularly rational and relatable as a fictive. But I also hate that it could all still be some weird coping illusion to deal with some underlining issue that doesn't actually need to have anything to do with me.

The joys of system life.

[natsubeatsrock]

I'm Still Thinking About Fairy Tail and Rave Master After All These Years

I'm going to level with you. The original post was a mistake.

Any reason to think that way about my own writing?

Surprisingly, no one else did. As much as my writing hasn't aged well, this post shows how naive I was back then.

The comparisons to Fairy Tail and Rave have been made time and again. It's a prime source of annoyance for fans of Rave. I knew that making the original, but I get it more now. Most (not necessarily all) people making these comparisons don't know what they're talking about. I said this about RWDE and got pushback. Here, some things said about similarities can be refuted with a second reading of Rave. Or, on occasions, a first reading.

Although, I will say Mashima isn't doing himself favors. It's insane how many references and callbacks to his past works Mashima's current works have. I didn't mind it as much in Fairy Tail, even getting more of what happened. Reading EZ (and Black Rock, but I'm really behind) and seeing the callbacks to past works. My default reaction to these things in my Quick Notes is as follows: *sigh*.

Some people will tell you it's lazy, but I don't see it that way. Some of these connections are pretty cool to see across different worlds. And, outside of the obvious ones, the callbacks are done with enough distinction between them. Honestly, seeing the same things over and over again is annoying. I'd rather see another Ajeel-Yajeel situation than go to another Mildian anything.

Don't even get me started on Sieghart.

Hold on. Let's talk about that.

Technically speaking, the design is based on a character from Mashima's debut one-shot: Magic the Illusion. However, the character design we recognize throughout his works is first seen in Sieghart from Rave. The design shows up because Mashima didn't feel great about how he ended his character arc. I'm not willing to spoil that in this post, but having reread the situation... I don't blame him for bringing Sieghart back.

In Fairy Tail.

Justice isn't always similar to the others. However, that was when it started to be taken too far. Of course, Mashima had to do it again for HERO'S. At that point, we'd gone too far. Seeing a cover with all the different look-alikes was more annoying than endearing. It's not necessarily uncreative, but it's not welcome.

This might not be the most annoying comparison. I'm more annoyed with the comparisons between Nalu and...

Harelie? Whatever the Haru and Elie ship is called.

Let's get this out of the way. They might be Mashima's best ship. I'm not sure I'm breaking new ground with this. But I would unironically put them up as one of Shonen manga's best ships. Unlike many ships, their development felt natural. It was a delight to see them become endgame. (We'll get to that end.) I would say there are writers better than Mashima who could learn from his romance writing.

The issue is that, of course, fans try to read their dynamic into Nalu. I'll admit some panels share parallels with each other.

Fans agree that Haru is a better parallel to Lucy. In the same way, Natsu parallels Elie. I don't particularly disagree with that view. However, it does ignore things they have in common with their gender counterparts. You can't tell me Haru's fights aren't closer to Natsu's than Lucy's. It's interesting to think of Haru as something like Lucy in Natsu's role or Elie as Natsu in Lucy's role. Still, there are ways that Natsu and Lucy's relationship is different from Haru and Elie's. That's not just more mud to sling at Nalu's romance. Lucy's narrative role in Fairy Tail is unique among all of Mashima's heroines as the closest thing to the "series narrator" the story has.

Speaking of which, I have to talk about my girl Elie. I don't think anything gave me more appreciation of Elie than HERO'S. I feel like Lucy gets too much flak. I've jokingly referred to Rebecca as "Elie Heartfilia" on occasions. However, I love how Elie is handled. She's more willing to take an active role in situations, which is helped by [spoilers for the series]. I love that Mashima did this with his female lead. It's disappointing we never saw this as much from other leads. (Unless I'm missing something in Black Rock.)

Though, as I have said before, Mashima does write female characters with active roles and the ability to fight. Some (not most or all) writers show female characters as inferior to their male counterparts. I always think of Asuna in SAO getting shown up by Kirito. (inb4 "But what about Mother's Rosary?") That's not a consistent issue with Mashima's writing. I love it. It's not just the key players. Minor women and one-off female characters get great moments.

I say that, but Mashima has never shied away from fanservice. I used to be super against fanservice, but I've mellowed out over the years on this issue. Not enough that it doesn't annoy me to see some of the things Mashima has done over the years. I know I just talked up Elie, but Haru's introduction to her was accidentally seeing her panties while sitting down. They look back at it like it was a funny moment. It feels wrong.

However, I need to bring up the most contentious example of this. Rave fans might think I'm talking about one of Julia's fights. Tempting as it is, this doesn't take place in canon. During a volume Q&A session, Mashima mentioned that he got a request to draw the Rave girls showering. His objection was that parents probably wouldn't enjoy seeing that in a volume, which is commendable.

Then he does it anyway with a not to tell the parents.

Let's get this straight. This isn't a fanservice issue. Mashima's had plenty of opportunities to draw characters in undress. They were mermaids for a bit. That was a reasonable vehicle for fanservice. The actual picture isn't the most gratuitous he's drawn. (read: you know the Julia fight Rave fans) 

My issue is one of judgment. Mashima recognized that what he was asked to do might not be the best thing. Yet, he did it anyway and tried to be slick about it. This is worse with the hindsight of the Internet and electronic volumes.

This attitude extends to the ending.

Oh boy, the ending.

When I made the original post, this was my first time experiencing a Mashima ending to a manga. If you didn't read my thoughts, I was very positive about it. I loved how things played out, watching sad things get undone, and finding out how Levin tied into the main series. It was all incredible.

It's been [EIGHT] years since then. Fairy Tail ended, and I've read Mashima's other works. Not to mention, I've finished other manga.

I think it's sad that Mashima saves some of his worst writing for the end of a series. It's almost like he doesn't wish for the series to end. I'm not joking when I say his best ending might have been HERO'S. While Fairy Tail was only a break in hindsight, the others didn't end well. It's not much better in EZ now.

I still think that it's great to see the main ship payoff. I made that panel my background on two computers. However, it would have been much better to see how things got to where they were. Perhaps a few chapters to deal with that and end on chapter 300.

That said, it's fair to say this still ranks among the best of Mashima's writing. The only thing that comes close to it is EDENS ZERO, but I think this edges it out (for now). It's crazy that there are so many ways to read the series. With multiple Humble Bundle opportunities and the publishing of Kodansha's version as ebooks, fans owe it to themselves to give it a shot.

I'm proud to say that, over the years, I've collected physical copies of the complete series. It wouldn't be possible without those pandemic stimulus checks. I've been able to reread the whole series as it was published by Tokyopop, save the last three volumes. I went through it with scanlations my first time around. I reread one chapter in the scans because it was in full color, but nothing beats reading the physical books.

There might be a project I have down the pipeline for Rave. I intend to talk about one connection between Fairy Tail and Rave.

In Conclusion:

Stop whatever you're doing, click off Tumblr, and read Rave Master! NOW!!!!!!!