#This is too long

[idratherstayinside6]

Ok so I am on my period and my cramps HURT LIKE FUCKING HELL. So I'll do a Hazbin hotel skit.

(P.S I'm not a great writer.)

Vaggie and Charlie are peacefully sitting in the lobby couch when the front door opens to reveal Carmilla had come in.

Vaggie got up from her seat and walked over to Carmila and began speaking.

Vaggie:"Wha-... Carmilla what are you doing here? Training isn't until Sunday."

Carmilla:"I know, I just wanted you to sign this."

Carmilla pulled out a random packet with neat writing on it. It looked like a consent form but honestly nobody cares enough to read it. Vaggie reached for it and glanced at where she had to sign.

Vaggie:"What is it for? We've done practice a bunch of times, I don't think I need to sign anything for if you harm me or whatever."

Carmilla:"It's something different. Don't worry too much about it."

Vaggie:"Alright?"

She said suspiciously as if Carmilla was planning something. She picked up a pen and wrote on the nearest flat surface there was. She wrote her signature nearly on the dotted line and gave it back to Carmilla.

Vaggie:"Here you go, I guess.."

Carmila:"Thank you Vaggie. By the way, I'm having another kid."

Vaggie:"Oh? Congrats?"

Carmilla:"It's you."

Vaggie:"What."

Carmilla showed Vaggie the packet where it said 'I give consent to Carmilla Carmine to adopt me' extra extra. Vaggie looked confused and questioned everything that she had just said.

Carmilla walked out the door and disappeared in a matter of seconds. Vaggie stood there and had so many unanswered questions.

Vaggie:"How? Why? Huh..?"

Carmilla:"I have to go now to assist your now sisters."

Vaggie:"But I'm so confused.. Can you even do that? I'm a grown adult how?"

Carmilla:"Don't worry about it, hija."

Vaggie:"huh..."

Okay that's it. I hoped you enjoyed the small skit on how Carmilla adopted Vaggie.

[pompadourpink]

hi mom! i'm starting uni in september, i'm moving to a new city so i need to start shopping and all, but also my parents didnt really give me advice and im the eldest so im kinda lost, do you have any advice?? XX

Hello darling,

The ABC:

Uni is scary: freedom goes from 8 to 90 in two months, and it is intoxicating. Making up for lost chances can lead to bad choices (spending, dating, partying).

Parent yourself if needed: autonomy is essential. Learn to cook, budget, clean, be clean, save, be a good citizen, make scary phone calls, keep yourself safe, and prioritise.

No one will force you to get up and study, or hire a 21-year-old dropout you instead of a fiery 18-year-old. Effort will not betray you (being an ageing lazy gifted child will).

Have shared hobbies, from movie Sundays with a friend to knitting with your sister. A social life is a happy life.

Trust your body, it knows. Stomach cramps mean we hate him, daydreaming means try, yawning means bed (not coffee).

The home:

Make a cleaning schedule, be open-minded and reasonable, do not do/say anything the landlord wouldn't like (I fully recommend having roommates once for exposure therapy).

Bribe a nice neighbour with food. Having that phone number will one day mean not sleeping outside or getting a package stolen.

Document problems right away (photos, timestamps, screenshots, testimonies), as you may need to take action later. No emotions, you're just "worried about everyone's wellbeing".

Mould, vermin and leaks are enemies. Act yesterday.

Avoid big purchases. You don't know the future (location, size, taste). Go secondhand, natural (wood/glass), neutral, practical.

Avoid silly purchases: streaming, takeout, drinks, fast-fashion; you will not regret having a downpayment saved in ten years.

If you need to do emergency laundry, put a bin/bucket in the shower, add water and detergent (+ soda crystal for stains or whitening), mix, wait, rinse well, hang it.

The shopping:

My grandmother has kept her house clean with a squeegee broom wrapped in a floorcloth and Marseille soap since the 60s. When something doesn't work, look back.

Must-haves: cleaning (#1, cloths, soda, Castile soap, steel wool), hygiene (scraper, net, shower head filtre, first aid), night (good pillow, plugs, mask) supplies, freezer if possible, water filtre, reusable period protection, winter clothes, long chargers, sunscreen, friend living at home who will lend you tools.

Must-not-haves: trends, collections (even books), a pet - don't let Felix keep you back, sleep over and study in Paris!

Have an emergency kit (+ whatever you need) + a smaller version in the car/at the office (with cash).

Fresh fruit, starches, frozen vegetables, cans of legumes, fresh, canned and frozen protein, a treat, something fun once in a while to experiment + a bimonthly outing.

A couple of formal outfits. Large black dress pants, white shirt, dark grey thin jumper, pencil skirt, blazer, large coat, trench coat, loafers, heels, tall boots. Not tight or slouchy, comfy, plain.

Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, thrift stores. Make a Pinterest 'perfect home' board instead of letting yourself be fed by social media and stores.

The social life:

Make one or two real friends and cherish them forever. Support each other, travel, buy a house together, idk.

Don't be afraid to exist alone - you shouldn't fear what your head has to say.

Take advantage of what's free.

Don't miss out on huge opportunities for people. Some are around out of necessity and will ghost you after graduation.

Do not try to impress, especially those you don't like and who don't like you. Do not do or say anything cops wouldn't like. Be a homebody who doesn't drink if that's what you want.

Do not try to educate those who will not learn.

Do not befriend someone who fully lacks confidence. Those relationships will be one-sided and exhausting.

Befriend older ladies. They will see through the lies of men, classmates, and employers trying to fool you.

The love life:

The thirty-two-year-old man doesn't find you mature; he sees a willing blank canvas. Do not.

If a date mocks you and you get mad, either that is who he is, or he hates you. Your job is not to pretend you don't care so he can have a girlfriend.

Ask yourself if you would tell your friend, mother, or Taylor Swift that they should lower their standards. If not, take a break from dating and think about why you think you don't deserve respect.

Don't forgive what you don't want to tolerate.

No nudes. Never nudes.

Don't try to force a relationship with someone who has made it clear that he is not interested. You will be played like a fiddle until he meets someone he wants.

Don't try communicating with someone who is messing with you on purpose. No one ignores you for three days or breaks your favourite necklace after an argument by accident. Also, your husband would never.

The daily life:

Keep an official e-mail address (firstname.lastname) + a casual one (f.lastna), a solid password (Lanadelrey1984#) changed yearly, and a list of usernames/accounts and auto-generated passwords.

If you don't trust your parents, block them from your account or open a new one when you turn 18 before they rob you.

Save a year's worth of expenses, don't purchase what you couldn't buy twice now, don't replace what still works, thrift/swap, and think for a week before spending.

Get folders for your paperwork + scan them onto an encrypted Drive (not iCloud): diplomas, flat, car, work, taxes, health, etc.

Print pictures and make albums before the app disappears.

Prioritise health. Exercise (cardio/strength, ex: runs/weighted Pilates), walk, drink more, sleep, eat fibre, take vitamin D, mind your eyes/ears/skin/teeth, stretch, and leave if needed.

Only invest energy, money, or time into what is worth it. FaceTime before the date, get secondhand leather boots instead of replacing plastic biyearly, drop the book after 100 bad pages.

Refuse advice from people whose lives you wouldn't want, who happily overwork for a mediocre wage and don't know who their children are. These handcuffs are homemade.

The job:

People will not forget how you made them feel, and the world is small. Colleagues, clients, and bosses will gossip: make sure it is for a good reason. Dress and look clean, stand straight, be on time, and never gossip, even when you are wronged.

Understand the power of sobriety. Be known for your projects and LinkedIn CV, not your bright skirts and temper.

Protect Future You to secure the next step. No friends, no enemies. Smile, stay neutral and calm, listen, move on, make your IG private, Google your name.

Lie. You don't avoid them, you eat lunch with your nana (hi Paula, no, I forgot she's at the hairdresser's); weren't unemployed, your father was ill; cannot go out, you have a birthday party.

Act boring with jealous old women and obnoxious men: take the fake compliment for a real one, don't understand the innuendo, have too much work to chat. Bullies get bored.

Instead of clapping back (see #3), be Cinderella, who overlooks insults and asks Ethel if she is alright, maybe she needs to talk?

Sites to look up: Proton (mail, VPN, drive), Notion.

Love,

Mum

(PS - apologies if the she/he thing doesn't match you, this is a flexible plan for all of my children)

[cogglebee]

Caroline Characterization

Some things for my Portal 2 Caroline, Caroline AU because I'm properly writing it right now :3 spoilers for portal 2 !! (forgive me this is mostly just a very long ramble about Caroline)

The first chapter is entirely from Caroline's perspective. From what we can tell with the voice lines and context within the game, Caroline is a generally kind, smart and well educated woman.

This is further supported in the Portal 2 Collectors Edition Guide (I sound like a nerd right now but bear with me, this is all important)

Page 323, "As Chell and GLaDOS press on, more and more of Caroline comes forward, making GLaDOS more human and caring like Caroline was." and Page 325, "Caroline cares, GLaDOS does not." However, in her last voice line that's included in the game, she's got a much different tone than before. Maybe I'm reaching here, but I assume she's grown tired, maybe even cynical. You don't work in a place like Aperture, especially not so closely with the CEO himself, and not remain a morally good person.

If we look back at the Portal 2 Guide, the timeline we can see at the bottom of Page 315, the specific wording is, "To implement the Genetic component, the essence of Caroline, Cave Johnson's trusted assistant, is infused into the existing OS to provide the basis for GLaDOS' thought processes."

I believe that this also means that GLaDOS' personality is based of Caroline's own, we see how she presents herself publicly, but what about privately? (Though to be fair, you could also make the point that Caroline's anger at being uploaded into GLaDOS also heavily impacted the base of GLaDOS' behavior. Especially since she only activated for the first time AFTER having Caroline infused/uploaded to her OS.)

I'm mostly rambling here, but my point is, I think Caroline to her core is a caring person. However, her time working in Aperture, being a scientist, as well as being a working woman around the 1950's, have all affected who she is now (or rather, 30-40 years later in the 1980-90's)

Caroline is cynical, she's tired of this. By the time Cave Johnson is dead, she knows her fate is sealed. My personal hc is that she keeping going to Aperture, keeps working and acting as CEO, because of her own stubborn pride. She knows she can't stop the GLaDOS project. The project was started 10 years before she was forced into GLaDOS.

She doesn't want this. That much is made clear in her scrapped voice lines, and can be inferred in the game (her interruption when Cave said he wanted Caroline to run the place if he died before they could upload him instead. Also during the core transfer when Wheatley asks if it will hurt, she says, "Oh it will, believe me, it will." as well as her general reaction during the core transfer. Her shouts of protest are horrifying with the context of Caroline.)

But what I was getting at fr !!! The first chapter is Caroline walking into the GLaDOS Chamber the night before she's supposed to be uploaded. She's resigned to her fate, but she is still angry. She is cynical, and believes this will all backfire on the scientists. The entire scene is morbid, it's like a funeral. She is mourning herself.

The entire AU is based off the song Evelyn Evelyn, so the rest of the fic has both Caroline and GLaDOS' perspectives. But the first chapter is more inspired by As the World Caves In. It's Caroline's first conversation with GLaDOS (even if one sided).

[eepyism]

day 4 ADVENTURE AWAITS!!! I KEEP BEING LATE AND IK IT DOESNT MATTER BUT LIKE IDK

DAY 5 HEADCANONS!!!

YES HES A TRANSMASC ENBY LESBIAN THATS CANON IN MY HEART

[ariscats]

do you want to know a scene that pisses me off in tig? the one right after thea and avery go dress shooping and thea ask if avery has thought abt her hair/makeup for the event and averys replies saying thats the only thing shes has been thinking

(which, the first time i read i though she was being mean but then i realised that she was trying to make a joke, sort of, bc its not rl averys style to be mean to anyone, she even says that once, and it would be out of character to her to be genuinely judging a girl, that she was trying to be nice the whole afternoon bc she genuinely thought thea wanted to be friends w her, for liking to dress up, when herself has to do it. Also the “deadpan” style she says that follows along other jokes she made on the book, specially the ones she made with max, also she could be joking bc she got shot the afternoon bf and rl didnt had the time to think abt anything else)

and i guess thea took it in the mean way, or she was just a bitch bc she replies saying that she thought the only thing avery was thinking was the boys (this is right after everyone finds out abt jameson and avery kissing and basically “shame” on her for that, or just gossip on her back). Like, sorry?? you dont even know this girl at all and youre saying all she thinks abt is some boys??? all of that bc you hate said boys?? even if avery was mean, youre trying to beat misoginy w more misoginy?? thea blind hate for the hawthornes and using avery to hit them is rl my last straw bc what in the girls girls world is that

[carrot-felisidad]

@traditionalartist

Kouki is living a normal slice-of-life story. He wakes up everyday to go to work, he greets the neighbors, he smiles at the customers, he calms them down, and he goes home and reads his manga. One particular manga, a work he has been following since high school, is about a hero who will stop at nothing to defeat the villain of the arc. It has been 23 story arcs, the hero is still fighting, unwavering, handsome, and devastatingly without a love interest.

One day while going home from work after fighting with a rude customer that got him fired, he was pushed by someone towards the road and met the fate delivered by truck-kun. He woke up in the hero's world, and surprisingly enough, the hero, Oreshi, knows him as one of his beloved characters from a book he adores. He's had crush with the main character for the longest time.

"Me??? Why would you like a character like me? And why would you read a book about my boring life???"

"I love your simple adventures and your genuine heart. If everyone in this world is like you, I wouldn't have to be an exhausted hero."

"You're exhausted? I thought... you fight non-stop for world peace?"

"You have no idea how much I want to live in your world. With you."

Kouki feels for him. By arc 17, Kouki realized how Oreshi's story never had any omake or filler chapter where he lounges around with friends. He's always fighting, and if not, he's alone.

Fuck it. Kouki said to himself. This is just a fictional story anyway. I'm taking Oreshi away from here.

And so the two ran away to the faraway forest and lived in domestic bliss for months. They made a house and lived on farming and trading. The world wondered where their hero was, but for once, Oreshi was happy and contented. He doesn't want these moments to end.

One day, there appeared a mysterious and unknown man. He is fast. He is strong. He is cunning. And he looks exactly like Oreshi. He is the villain of the 24th arc.

He defeated Oreshi easily.

"Just so you know, I planted this average and mediocre boy in this world to serve as your weakness." The villain laughed. "How does it feel to finally lose, and in the hands of a powerless at that?"

"You..." Oreshi seethed towards Kouki, "The two of you planned this???"

"That's not true!" Kouki cried. "I never intended to do that. I just wanted you to stop fighting!"

The villain inserted, "And that rendered him unprepared and without training for months. My, my, I never pegged you to be so useful, you useless commoner." He looked at Oreshi, "Now that my job here is done, I will take the final blow and take this boy you loved so much, since you hate him now."

At the villain's lair, Kouki becomes a prisoner the villain, Bokushi, pokes from time to time. The villain loves teasing him with hurtful words that involves Oreshi, and how he has become his devastating weakness.

Kouki's heart grew darker, his hatred towards Bokushi turned him to think, fine, I will be your weakness as well. And then Oreshi can defeat you

Kouki learned how to use his charms.

And it worked!

Bokushi fell hard.

And he became the villain's weakness.

Oh, and Oreshi is marching towards the villain's lair, ready for revenge against Kouki and Bokushi.

He expected that they would be buddies, Kouki played with him for Bokushi after all, but he never expected the sharp pain upon seeing their bodies intertwined.

[coastalwind]

Hoje faço 12 anos de Tumblr! 🥳

[a-tall-hobbit]

It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[ducktollers]

🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊

[thankstothe]

folk hero really

[theshyzombie]

I take a bite of my grilled chicken, "What do you mean I have vampiric blood in me? How is that even possible? I thought vampires couldn't procreate unless they bite someone?" I stare at my best friend and roommate, who is double major in Folklore and Mythology along with Biology, specifically the study of humans. "Look, you remember how I took that blood sample from you?" "You mean when I had accidentally opened a scab and you stole the bandaid afterwards?" I point my fork at her, "Disgusting by the way."

"You don't like needles! What was I suppose to do?"

"I.. don't know. But not steal a used bandaid out of the trash."

"I just... whatever. It doesn't matter, what matters, is that the reason you fit into our world so easily, other than because of family connections, is because somewhere in your family lineage, someone procreated with a vampire." My roommate responds in a hushed whisper, as we were in the food court and could get in trouble for talking of our world so openly that someone could overhear. "I haven't had my 'Mythology' class yet, so I haven't had the chance to ask Professor Venwynn about it yet," she puts air quotes around the word Mythology.

I sigh and lean against the back of the booth we're seated in, "Look. There is nothing special about me. I'm just an average college student, trying to make it through college without having a mental breakdown every 10 minutes. Just because I've been told I have ancient family connections doesn't mean I'm special."

"Okay, but think about it. You can't swim -"

"But I love rivers and the ocean. You know vamps can't cross running water, I have no problem doing it.

"You really like meat. Remember that summer when we were 15 and you tried to go vegetarian? You got so sick, the healers didn't know what was wrong."

"Okay, but I don't eat bloody steak. Mine are usually medium or so."

"You don't like religious architecture,"

"They stole it from other cultures and then claim it's theirs."

"And you get sunburned way too easily."

"I have a lot of European ancestry, and the biggest part of it is Irish.

"Exactly! It all seems normal, but what if it's normal because it's in your blood?"

I sighed, again, there was no way she will drop it, "Fine. Ask your questions. Make your speculations, but I refuse to believe it until you have solid evidence."

She perked up and clapped her hands. Sometimes she can be so smart and serious, I forget her child-like first impression, with her 5 foot nothing height. How I made friends with a fey always confuses me. The only reason I am part of our world is my family has elven ancestry on my mom's side, supposedly. But then great-great-great-great-grandma fell in love with a human, effectively making me 1/32 elven.

"Come on, we've got classes still." I stand up to my full 6 feet, pick up our trash, and walk it to the bin while she gathers her purse and sweater. Sometimes, blending into the human world is exhausting. But, as we have been doing it since high school, and we're almost done with our 4th year of college, it comes second nature. She bounces up to me and nestles herself into my side under my arm, "Let's go to class, Lily." "Of course, Ellie"

You have Vampiric Blood running through your veins. However, that blood comes from quite a few generations back, so all it really means is that you like eating meat, can’t swim, get mildly annoyed by religious architecture, and get sunburned really easily.

[tawnysoup]

Found my fav Slay the Princess route recently. Dragon my beloved. Your horrifying beak mouth was an impossible-to-refuse lip syncing challenge 💖

Shoutouts to @blacktabbygames for making such a cool game!

[yumenikkii]

just another average day in gravity falls

[monstermonger]

i love when i look into a window and find a cat there... | minizine ♡

[stealingpotatoes]

tried to tell my faithful eunuch Tucker that he was basically tumblr famous, but he was too focused on defending the homestead to care