#This is the best way I can explain the amount of hurt/no comfort I read

[thedemonastrophel]

Exquisite agony <3

‘don’t you want your favourite character to be happy???’ no? i want my favourite character to be interesting. i want me to be happy. which sometimes involves my favourite character being in exquisite agony

[allllium]

Sleepover

~ Soft!Jason is the best Jason

~ WC: 1,566 [Fluff, Hurt/Comfort]

- You and Jason have a sleepover

You and Jason have been dating for a couple months at this point and he has yet to sleepover at your house. Not only that but he's never allowed you to sleep at his overnight. For a while you didn't know whether or not to be offended by this but Jason quickly assured you that wasn't the case.

You know Jason went through some shit, as much as he's tried to hide it, the scar on his chest isn't something he can easily hide from the light. Although he's yet to explain everything to you, you try your best to understand some things he simply can't do.

Once you finally accepted that spending the night with Jason wasn't something you'd be able to do, he surprised you.

“Hey sweetheart.” He greets you as you answer the phone.

“Hey Jay, what's up?” You don't know why he's calling you only an hour before he's coming over for dinner, but to each their own.

“Nothing much. I was just wondering how you felt about having dinner over at my place?”

“Oh um yeah we can do that. Is there any reason?”

“Do I need a reason to cook for the one I love?” He was gonna cook at your house anyway.

“You know you were gonna have to cook at my place anyway, what's really going on?”

“Nothing, baby. I'll see you later?”

“Yeah I'll be there.”

As suspicious as it was, you got ready and began your short journey to Jason's place. Even though you don't know what's about to happen you've eliminated a few options. There's no way he'd want you to come to his apartment if he was going to dump you. Not that he would either way. You think.

When you push open the door, you can see that Jason has already finished preparing dinner. He's now trying and failing to light candles on the table.

“Need help with that?” You ask him, taking off your shoes by the door.

“No, I got it.” He gets the candles lit and turns to greet you properly. With a very excited kiss from your boyfriend and a very fancy dinner, you know something is going on.

“Hi Jay.” You smile sweetly. Giving him a tender hug.

“Hi. I'm glad you're here.” Looking into his eyes you can see the vulnerability shining through.

You look around his apartment to see nothing but furniture. You're well aware of Jason's neat freak habit but somehow something seems different. You decide not to read anything into it, considering he constantly cleans your own apartment when he comes over.

“I'm glad too. But can I know why?” It's not that you don't want to be at his place, it's just that you rarely are. You can count on your hand the amount of times he has invited you to his instead of suggesting yours.

“I just want to enjoy a night here, with you.” That's vague.

“Okay? What's for dinner?” You decide to change the subject, he'll tell you what he's thinking about eventually.

You and Jason eat your dinner in almost complete silence. It's comfortable silence, not that awkward silence when you just don't know what to say. You can tell he's overthinking something but you don't know whether or not you should ask about it. The last thing you want to do is pressure him into talking.

Soon after you move onto the couch to watch a movie. Despite your insistence to clean the dishes before laying down, he drags you with him to watch a movie. Something you've never seen before and low-key have no interest in but you're happy just laying with him while he enjoys it.

“Mm Jay.” You poke at his shoulder and try to get his attention. He quickly looks up at you from his position with his head laying in your lap.

“What's up sweetness?” You can barely hear him though the sleepiness coating his voice.

“I should probably go.” You whisper. This is usually the point where Jason politely but firmly kicks you out. He always tries his best not to be mean about it.

“No?” He says as a question.

“What do you mean? You want me to stay a little longer?” Your heart beats faster as you realize what he might mean. This is ridiculous. So he might want you to stay the night. No need to have a heart attack over it. It's just sleeping.

“Can you stay the night?” He asks, even quieter than before, like he's prepared for you to say no.

“Of course I can.” You immediately confirm, continuing to scratch his scalp as if your heart's not about to beat out of your chest.

“I'm sorry I haven't asked you before.” He begins to explain, you try to tell him he doesn't need to but he continues. “I've wanted to for a while now but I haven't been able to. It's because of you, I have nightmares and I've been too scared to really deal with them. But you make me feel more relaxed than I have ever been.”

“I make you relaxed?”

“What? Is that the only thing you got from that?” He seems genuinely surprised at your single question.

“Well yeah. I like knowing that you feel relaxed around me.”

“You're not worried or anything?” He pulls his head out of your lap to make eye contact as you talk.

“Worried? About what?” You raise your eyebrows in confusion and try to think about something you should be worried about. There's nothing you can think of.

“Well I don't know. Like having your sleep interrupted or having to deal with me in the middle of the night.” The more he talks the more anxious he gets. You can tell he's starting to doubt his decision to ask you to stay.

“Of course not. It's not like I get enough sleep anyway and I am more than happy to help you if that's what you need, at any time.”

“You really do need to get more sleep.”

“Okay Mr falling asleep on me.” You roll your eyes in sarcasm.

“C'mon that's on you. You can't play with my hair and expect me not to react. I'm only human after all.”

“Hmm I'm not too sure about that, you're too perfect to be human.” He gives you a big grin as he stands off the couch and starts to pull you off as well.

“Then I guess we'll be aliens together.” He pulls you into him and looks deep into your eyes.

“Such a sweet talker.” You rebut, trying to keep distracted from the butterflies filling your stomach.

“Yeah, just for you.” He spins you both in the direction of his bedroom. Yeah those butterflies are too strong to ignore.

Sitting on his bed, he stands off to the side of it, contemplating something.

“It's okay Jay, I can go if you need? Or sleep on the couch?” You try to stand but he immediately pushes you back down.

“No fucking way.”

“Are you gonna come sit with me?”

“Yes. I'm just thinking.”

“About?” You gently reach over and pull his hand into yours. Softly coaxing him closer.

“This. Us.”

“Hm all good things?”

“Yeah all good.” He smiles and joins you on the bed.

“Good. I really like you.”

“I really like you too.” You can't hide your smile once you see the slight red tint his face has taken. “Do you want something better to sleep in?”

“Yes please.” Without another word, he grabs you some clothes of his, and lets you change privately.

Soon enough you're laying on your side in his bed with him pressed up behind you. His arms quickly make their way over your body to pull you as close as possible.

“This might be the comfiest I've ever been.” He sleepily tells you, warm breath hitting the back of your neck.

“Me too. Your bed is extremely comfortable.”

“I hope so, I want you here all the time.”

“That can be arranged.” You dig yourself deeper into his bed and arms. You feel as if you've been buried in a giant cocoon of warmth and you never want to leave.

It doesn't take long for you both to fall into a deep sleep, and although you expected it, neither one of you wakes up throughout the night.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Jason greets you sweetly from his place by the stove. The smell of pancakes overwhelms you.

“Good morning Jay. Why are you up so early?” You sit on the counter next to the stove, watching him move gracefully as he cooks.

“I wanted to thank you. I know pancakes aren't the best thank you gift but it's all I have at the moment.”

You quickly cut off his rambling, “thank you gift? For what?”

“For staying with me. Last night was the first night in a long time I haven't woken up from a nightmare.”

“Oh Jay, you don't need to thank me for that. I'm more than happy to be with you.”

You hop off the counter and take the spatula out of his hand. You place your hands on either side of his face and pull him in for a gentle kiss.

“I really like you.” He whispers against your lips.

“I really like you too Jay.” You whisper back, smiles blooming on both your faces.

[only-luce-the-goose]

Heeeey pookie!!

i loved your Arthur fic too much, the man deserves to receive more love here🥹🫶🫶 I have two ideas for you, which in my head make more sense. I will try to explain myself as best as I can but in reality this is not my strong point LMAO

If you want and can write something about loving every little thing the reader does, such as the habit of brushing his hair behind his ears or, for example, when he reads a book that she cries, smiles or curses as if he LOVES that about her. 😮‍💨💗

Or maybe something about him being a little jealous and possessive not in a grotesque sense like I had to defend her from someone in a bar or something, like her being too nice by not wanting to walk away so as not to hurt the other person even if it's bothering her (that happens to me often haha😅)

Maybee some of the care for her when she's sick 🥹🥹

Of course, only if you feel comfortable with these ideas, which were more than two, I apologize for that, I'm a little excited.🧍🏻‍♀️🫶🫶

(I hope I have made myself understood, also English is not my first language, I am sorry if this is complicated when read or understood, also sorry this was so long :(, anyway much love to you 💗💗💗💗)

Little things

A/N: I am going to write all of them, they're so cute. Arthur absolutely deserves more love, he's underrated. Don't worry btw, your English is fantastic. I'm actually Australian so my spelling of certain words are different to everyone else's 😅. Keep an eye on my page for the next few days, I'll release them soon (I just need to finish my uni assignment first, whoops 🤷‍♀️). I hope I did what you were thinking 🫶🫶

Arthur Leclerc x reader

Warnings: Fluffy/Simp Arthur

Synopsis: "If you want and can write something about loving every little thing the reader does, such as the habit of brushing his hair behind his ears or, for example, when he reads a book that she cries, smiles or curses as if he LOVES that about her. 😮‍💨💗" - This part of the request.

You and Arthur were lying on the couch watching a movie after a long day. You propped up my pillows with Arthur on top of you, head resting on your chest. Your fingers started to scratch the back of his scalp, slowly worth their way up. He sighed as he pressed himself deeper into you, nuzzling his face into your skin. He lifted his head up and pecked your lips. You look down at him and giggled, “what was that for, baby?”. He looked up at you with a peaceful smile, his eyes brimming with love as he replied “just appreciating the small things” before resting his head back on your chest as you kept scratching his head.

The next time it happened, you guys were cuddled up in bed and you were reading a book. It might be one of the saddest books you had ever read in your life (for this I’m gonna use “Bridge to Terabithia” cuz I feel like everyone read it for school). You got the the chapter where the girl fell into the creek and drowned. The pure amount of detail broke your heart and sent you into a sobbing mess. Your sniffles caught Arthur’s attention, he looked down the see his shirt beginning to get wet. He pulled you up to face him as we wiped your tears. “Hey hey hey what happened mi amor?” He rushed. You explained what happened, causing Arthur to give you that look again. A peaceful smile, eyes brimming with love, he pecked your lips, “how about we read a happier book?” He suggested. “No” you said as you made eye contact again “I just wanna cuddle”. He grinned and settled down, pulling you into him “that is something I can definitely do”. You smiled as you tucked yourself into his side.

Another instance was when you and Arthur were walking through the paddock. The crowd was pushing and shoving, sweeping you away with them. Arthur quickly realised you had gotten caught up, jogging back to guide you again. You think your right hand to his left, your left hand coming up to hold his strong bicep on the same arm, basically wrapping yourself around his arm. You have his hand a little squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder when he squeezed back. You made it to the Ferrari garage and you knew you would need to let go but you didn’t want to, do you didn’t. Arthur planted a kiss on your forehead and gave you that dopey, in love look he gives you in moments like these. “What?” You laughed. Arthur pecked your lips “nothing my love” he mumbled against them, “just admiring” he winked. Just like a school girl, you giggled and then cuddled into him, are grip still tight on his arm.

What really stood out is when you were cleaning your shared apartment. You were going through your shared closet when you found a brown leather book. The title on the inside of the book, in Arthur’s unmistakeable handwriting, was “those moments”. You flicked through the book and saw dates and times, which matched to all the moments when Arthur gave you the look. Scratching his head on the couch, crying at a book, being clingy at the paddock, it was all there. What you didn’t know, was that Arthur was leaning on the door frame, watching you read his little things journal. “Find something good, amor?” You jumped at his question. “I’m so so sorry. I shouldn’t be snooping but I’ve never seen it before, and I had no idea what it was for. I’m sorry, I should’ve given you your privacy an-” Arthur cut you off with a kiss. “Im glad you found it. Everytime you ask about this “look” I give you, you now know what I was feeling and thinking. Is that ok amor?” He has a glimmer of home in his eyes as he asks you. You put the book back where you got it from, wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him deep “of it is, I love you Arthur” “I love you mi amor”

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Adam hcs but the third time IS the charm

The moment his girlfriend heard about what happened to his past wives she vowed that she'll be the best lover for him, and she delivered

Please, give this man a happy ending because I need to see him happy

JSD;GDZF i wanted to do this sooo badly when i was writing the harlot reader HC's AND NOW I CAN RAHHHH fr tho the amount of soft adam ask are seriously making me giggle and spin around my room plz keep sending them. If you haven't read it, ask is referecing this post

You and only you | Adam x Fem!Reader

Relationship: Romantic Warnings: NONE ADAM JUST ADAM AND HIS LOVELY GF (you)

You didn’t know why Adam was so clingy. From the moment you woke up, Adam was around you. 

Not that you didn’t enjoy his attention, you relished it. However, he was ever clingy, and hovering over you. It was beginning to get overstimulating for you.

It took you to the point of almost snapping and asking him what his deal was. Instead, you took a second to calm down and talk to him. It didn’t take long for you to get your answer.

“Adam, please. I just need a moment.” You say, rubbing your temple with a hand as you push your boyfriend off of you with the other. He whines and pouts as he moves across the room, no longer near you. It took you a bit to realize that he was in the corner, only realizing it when you heard a sniffle. You look at him, concerned. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

You make your way to your boyfriend and bend down to the floor. You try to peek at his face, but he turns away. You notice that he used his hand to wipe something on his face and put your hand on him to comfort him. He doesn’t say anything, as he begins to cry a little more audibly now. Alarmed, you touch his face and turn him to look at you. Now facing you, you see that he has tears running down his face, his nose runny and red. Wiping away his tears, you look him over.

“Babycakes? What happened?” You coo, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. He avoids your gaze, finding the floor interesting as you pull his face in closer, trying to get an answer. With a huff, possibly out of embarrassment, he answered.

“I just felt…similar to how I felt before Eve ended things.” You looked at him stunned. While you had been dating for a few years, you both never inquired about your past relationships. You and your ex-husband ended things healthily, willing to say hello as you passed one another. Adam knew that there was nothing between the both of you. You never had to explain to him in detail what happened, just that your marriage from when you were alive was no more. On the other hand, you knew nothing of Adam’s relationship with Eve or even Lilith. You obviously never met Lilith, only hearing about her from word of mouth, but Eve was nowhere to be seen. All you know about his relationship with her is that she was the one who initiated the divorce. “'m just scared you’re going to leave too.” 

You pull him in for a tight hug, shocking him. He takes a moment before hugging you in return. You both hold each other for a while before he breaks it. Sniffling, he rubs his nose and looks at you, the soft smile that was reserved for you on his face. You give him one in turn and hold one of his hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He does, he tells you about his relationship with Lilith. How in the beginning, he wasn’t the massive dick he was (to which you think at least he is self-aware) and loved Lilith. Both of them were headstrong, yet they loved one another, or at least he thought they did. When it was revealed to Adam that Lilith had gone behind his back and formed a relationship with an Angel, causing them both to fall, he was heartbroken. 

It took the angels promising him a new wife to even get slightly better. But by the time Eve was born, Adam wasn’t the same person and didn’t treat Eve as he ought to. Not that he abused her, but he wasn’t the nicest to her. When she proposed the divorce, it still hurt him. He knew that the relationship was on its downfall, but he didn’t think it was to the point of no return

He confides in you about his insecurities, and how he believes that he is the reason for his past relationships' downfall. How no matter how much of a dick he was, he didn’t want to risk losing you.

You spent the whole evening holding him as he bore the very essence of his being to you. Becoming the man he once was, before he died, before Eve, and before Lilith. He cried like a baby that he never was, and you were there to soothe him.

That night, as you both held each other in your arms, you couldn’t help but make one wish to heaven and the stars. A wish that you didn’t think the heavens could support alone. You wished for the help of comforting Adam, restoring his broken confidence in love.

From that day on, you vowed to be the very best lover that Adam ever had. 

You figured out that his love languages were words of affirmation and physical touch, so you set out to do small things for him. Giving him small gifts, kissing his cheek when he wasn’t expecting it, and complimenting his body. 

You encouraged him to have more conversations about what was bothering him, giving him the space to open his chest whole for you to glimpse into his essence. 

Eventually, he began to return your actions by complimenting your love languages. He was even less of a dick, which allowed some of the saints to actually hold a conversation with him. 

Through your love and work, he was slowly becoming a better version of himself.

You fixed your outfit and hair through the mirror. Both you and Adam had gotten into the routine of having date nights, some in your shared home, others out at a nice restaurant. Tonight was a night that Adam had planned all on his own, just telling you to get ready. You were done getting ready, now waiting for your boyfriend. 

“Adam!” You yelled to him, who you assumed was in your bedroom. “Are you sure we are going to make it?”

“Relax sugar tits,” He says, entering the living room. He was dressed similarly to you, wearing a maroon color that matched your outfit. Long gone was his mask, now showing his handsome face, his scruff trimmed and his hair slicked back. He had a thin jacket for you and his regular leather jacket draped over his arms as he walked up to you. Kissing you on the head, he looked at you through the mirror as you looked over yourself once more. “We will get there. Reservation isn’t for another 45 minutes.”

You turned to look at your boyfriend, taking in his features. You brushed off some imaginary dirt off his shoulder as you placed your arms over his shoulders. Resting your forehead on his, you let out a breath.

“Sorry. I just…don’t want to be late. This the nicest restaurant in heaven, and I don’t want our evening to be ruined because our table was given away.” You say, closing your eyes. You feel Adam move his head as he kisses for forehead once more and lifts your head to look at him. 

“Don’t worry about it. Even if our table is given away, we can always have a lazy night in.” He puts his hand on your cheek, a touch you lean into. You both stare at one another before you lean in for a kiss. Adam smiles into the kiss and puts his other hand on your waist, pulling you in. You hum and try to stop the kiss. Reluctantly, he pulls away from the kiss, his lips now red and glossy from your lip stain. “Or…we could fuck the restaurant and just do each other.”

Wiggling his eyebrows, you laugh and hit his shoulder.

“No. You planned tonight, and I don’t want to miss it.” He shrugs and backs away a bit, no longer pressed up against you. Grabbing your hand, he begins to lead you out of your home. You talk with one another as you leave, you unaware of the box in his back pocket, inside a ring of your favorite gem with an engraving on the band.

‘You and only you’

also so sorry ig he is OOC 😭😭😭 everytime i write him, he strays further from canon LOLOLOL

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

In the Moonlight

Author's Note: This is a part of the Dancing With the Devil AU, but can be read as a stand alone. The Vamp!Rhys brain rot has taken over and there aren't enough fics to satisfy me so I wrote more ;)

Pairing: Vamp!Rhys x Reader x Vamp!Azriel

Content Warnings: SMUT, threesomes, oral (f and m receiving) blood, typical vampire stuff

Based on this post/ original fic

-------------------------------------------------------

You’ve always loved music, the steady flow of the strings, the heavy pulse of the drums; it’s always been something that moves and excites you, your body knows how to respond to it as if it's its basest instinct. Music was the siren song that had pulled you and Nesta to the dance floor all those years ago, as children, eager to dance and move and lose yourself in the steps of a blooming waltz that made the other mortal children dizzy. It had been one of your few chances at freedom, and you had chased that opportunity all the way to the Velaris Estate weeks ago, and had now found a new sense of freedom.

It’s still tied to music, by some humorous twist of fate. You’d learned early on that the Lord of the Estate had the set list planned: Something graceful and elegant to start, the slow thrum of the string section pushing people onto the dance floor, highlighting easy prey in those lingering on the edge with no partner to claim them. Then something more sensual, as the predators take the floor, snatching their prey with a charming bow and disarming smile. These will span several songs, get their prey comfortable with their presence, before the shift becomes something with more drums and base, music to disappear into the dark corners to. 

Their ability to move so seamlessly, so flawlessly that no one suspects there might be ill intent in the gesture is still mind boggling. You stand in the shadows of the upstairs veranda, watching Rhysand and his horde move as you sip from a full wine glass, content to study for now. The bargain had never specified when Rhys was supposed to turn you, for now, you attend his parties and do your best to study them, so when the time comes you’ll be prepared. 

There are new faces in the crowd tonight, less and less of your neighbors and childhood friends filling the expensive ballroom now that word had spread that you hadn’t returned home, all those weeks ago. As expected, your brother had nearly torn the Spring Estate to shreds when he’d found you gone. Nesta had apparently witnessed you sitting in Rhys’s lap--though by some magic or sheer luck, she hadn’t seen him drinking from your neck--and had gone straight to Tamlin to tell him. The betrayal had burned white hot, and not for the first time, were you thankful the ancient vampire hadn’t turned you yet, or else the destruction you might have caused in the aftermath would have made Tamlin’s look like a child’s temper tantrum. She hadn’t tried to explain herself, every one of your friends had turned their back on you, a couple of them had outright called you a whore to your face before vowing to never speak to you again. None of them were known to be tight lipped either, the whole town was sure to know that you’d “debased yourself with the Lord of Velaris”. It would have hurt less if you hadn’t spent the last couple of years protecting Nesta’s own secret lovers, but you had to admit, the newfound freedom of living here lessened the sting more and more each day. There were no governesses dictating your every outfit and hairstyle; no stewards limiting the amount of food you got at each meal to ensure you stayed pretty and thin for a would-be husband; no guards to regulate how much time you spent outside and where you could go. If you wanted to wear something, you did; if you wanted to eat you could go into the kitchens now and ask for it and the staff would do so eagerly; if you wanted to go outside and run until you got lost in the mountains, you were free to do so. There were no restrictions with Rhys, the fact alone was enough to keep you here, though the prospect of immortality pulled a little more and more each day. It wasn’t even the living forever thing, you really weren’t that interested in that part. It was the strength, the power, the freedom to be wild and unrestrained and never have to worry about being hurt or caged again. Once you were a vampire, no one could keep you locked away. 

You take another sip of wine as the music begins to shift and the lights dim. Feeding time. Rhys dances beneath you with a blonde woman, the neckline of her gown so deep you can see the heavy swell of her breasts from your vantage point. You shove down the pang of jealousy you feel upon seeing those hands on someone else’s hips with another deep drink from your wine glass.

Mor dances with a female on the edge of the crowd, the darkest part of the dance floor, where the judgmental eyes of the town won’t be so quick to spot her. Cassian hasn’t danced all night, has spent the evening prowling around the refreshment table, trying to get drunk despite his accelerated metabolism making it hard. He’d hoped to make a similar bargain with Nesta all those weeks ago, but you’re pretty sure he’d stepped on her foot and she’d left scowling in search of you before she’d found you in Rhys’s lap. Poor Cassian has been moping since.

You haven’t seen Azriel all night, but that’s how he likes it. He could be as charming as Rhys if he wanted, but he likes his solitude too much to risk it. When he steps out of the shadows to your left, as if your thoughts had materialized him, it’s little surprise. Rhys had explained that every vampire had their own unique abilities, among some shared traits, and Azriel’s shadow manipulation made him an excellent hunter.

“You’re not dancing tonight?” He says as he comes to stand beside you, scared hands resting on the banister railing. 

You take another sip of wine. “I didn’t know I was on the menu tonight.” A lie, Mor had helped you pick a gown with a neckline that plunged all the way down to your midsection with the intent of catching the Vampire Lord’s eye, but you had chickened out at the last minute and hid. Having the freedom to chose and the bravery to walk out in public were two very different things, but you hadn’t realized it until too late.

Hazel eyes roam the expanse of your exposed skin, the way your hair is pinned up out of the way so that the full expanse of your throat is available. It doesn’t hide the hickey’s Rhys had left a couple nights ago either, the dark marks smattered across your collarbones and lower, following the path of your gown. “So everyone knows your mine,” Rhys had purred in your ear and before the ball you had been thrilled to show them off. Until a few wandering eyes had lingered too long, the judgment clear on their faces. You’d spent the rest of the night hoping everyone would forget you’d existed.

“He’s looking for you,” Azriel says half-heartedly, eyes still exploring you. There’s a hunger there you can’t miss; that has you pressing your thighs a little tighter together. Azriel is as devastatingly handsome as Rhys is, and this is not the first time you’ve noticed the attention he gives you, but it has never gone anywhere. Especially not when his sire is the one leaving all these marks on your throat.

“He seemed plenty preoccupied with that blonde,” you reply.

A half-smile creases the vampire’s usually stoic face. “Jealous, little one?”

“No,” you say. “Just observing.”

The grin remains as he holds out a hand in silent invitation and when you take it, you can’t help but wonder how those large, scarred hands would feel on your thighs, spreading you open…

The world spins and flips as Azriel shadow steps the two of you down into what they call the Den, the unlit corners of the ballroom where they can feed in near privacy. There’s no doors to lock, though there are several glamors in place to keep wandering eyes from getting suspicious. 

Mor and a newly turned Emerie are already sharing a female on a couch in the corner, and the blonde winks at you as she sinks her fangs deeper into her prey.

On the opposite side of the Den, nursing a glass of whiskey under the light of the full moon peeking through the curtains, is Rhys. He looks like a god in this lighting, violet eyes glowing in the dimness. You can’t help but notice that he sits alone, his dance partner nowhere to be seen. While it’s never been discussed that you’re the only human he’s feeding on, a part of you is relieved to see that he hasn’t taken anyone else. It’s a strange sort of satisfaction, knowing there’s something in your blood that keeps him coming back again and again.

Violet eyes watch your every step forward with the intensity of a jungle cat on the hunt. “There you are, Darling,” he purrs. “I was looking for you.”

“Liar,” you tease.

He makes himself more comfortable in the large wing-backed chair, legs spread and you can’t decide if you want to climb in his lap or get on your knees for him more. 

“Did you spook your dance partner?” 

“No,” he says as he brings the whiskey back to his lips and takes a slow drink. “She was dull and she kept stepping on my toes.”

“You poor baby,” you croon and he grins as he sets the whiskey down on a small side table.

“I would have been spared if you hadn’t decided to be a wallflower tonight,” he replies, hand tapping at his thigh for an invitation for you to come sit. “What’s bothering you?”

The slit in your skirts makes moving them out of your way easy as you climb into his lap, knees bracketing his hips. Every time you think you’ll enjoy it less, but there is no feeling quite like this one, you could sit here forever. “I-”

Rhys presses his lips over a bruise on your neck.

“I was going to come down, but,” the words catch in your throat a bit, your cheeks flushed. “I think I should have worn something else.”

Slender fingers brush over your exposed skin making a shiver run down your spine. “Why would you do that?” He counters. “You look breathtaking. Doesn’t she, Az?”

You’ve almost forgotten the other vampire was still standing there, still watching in that silent, shadowy way of his. When you throw a glance at him over your shoulder, he’s standing with his hands in his pockets, eyes narrowed into the exposed bit of your thigh from where the dress is split.

“Absolutely sinful,” he says softly.

Now you’re really blushing. “I-I was hoping you’d like it,” you stammer. “I just… I don’t like when people are looking at me.”

“I do like it,” he says so lowly that heat begins to build in your core. “So much so that I had to stop myself from taking you against the railing over and over again.” Teeth scrape lightly over your skin, teasing, not quite tasting you yet.

“Az was thinking about it too,” he hums into your skin. “You should hear the things he thinks about you.”

“Rhys-” Azriel begins, the apology on his lips, but Rhys pulls away from your neck to motion him over.

“What do you think, little one, should we give him a little taste?” You’ve never been more aware of your own body than you are with Azriel at your back, and the firm planes of Rhys at your front.

You glance back and forth between them, at the tension that rolls off Azriel, at the hunger that chases your every motion in Rhys’s eyes. In your mind he says, “It’s your choice, Darling.”

“You-you won’t be mad?”

His laugh is a beautiful thing, even in your mind. “Azriel and I have shared many females. Cassian too. I enjoy it, as long as my partner does too. And I know that you’ve thought about him, it’s hard not to, but only if you really want to.”

You’ve been studying all of them: The way they hunt, the way they move, what separates them from humans and other vampires alike. Rhys is refined in his ability to hunt, uses his charm and his wits to bait prey into the Den; he makes feeding an art form, something graceful and dazzling, an allure only someone who’s done this for a long time can make possible. Cassian is messy, he likes to splatter blood when he feeds, and while he’s calculating and strategic in the initial hunt, he has no qualms getting dirty. Mor thrives in the dark corners of the ballroom, meeting in secret with her lovers because she does not trust people enough to bring a stranger into the Den. And Amren, well you’ve only met her once, and she’d traded some of her books for a mere drop of blood from your wrist before she disappeared again. But Azriel, you haven’t really figured out. He always hovers at the edge of the crowd, only speaks or feeds when he needs to, as if denying himself the pleasure the others chase will absolve him of whatever darkness lingers in his past. You know it’s there, have heard it hinted at, but no one will say it out loud. The more you try to learn about them, the more a mystery Azriel remains, and you’d be a liar if you said you weren’t curious to see how he feeds compared to Rhys.

“I do.”

And there is no judgment there. Unlike everyone else tonight. The freedom to choose, to want, is enough to make you toss your arms around his neck and lean in to kiss the tip of his nose. Anywhere else he might be regarded as a monster of the night, but here, like this, you’ve never felt safer.

Rhys presses a gentle kiss to your lips. “And who am I to deny my little pet anything?”

Azriel’s hands settle on your hips, that immortal strength never failing to make you feel fragile and small in their grip. It sends a shiver of delight through you; there’s no denying how much you love the freedom of handing over your power and knowing they won’t abuse it.

His warm breath fans your neck as he brings his lips to your exposed throat. “Been thinking about this since you arrived.”

Rhys nips at where your neck meets your collarbone, hands skimming your sides until he finds your breasts, nipples peaked through the thin fabric. “How would you like to taste her first?”

Teeth scrape over your pulse point, savoring the rapid beating of your heart. “Turn her around.”

They move you together, fingers digging into your hips as you're positioned with your back to Rhys’s chest, legs spread by his knees. Your skirts get caught, bunched up around your hips, baring most of your legs and you give a little squeak of surprise as you try to close them, to spare what’s left of your dignity, but there’s no room as Azriel kneels between both yours and Rhys’s legs.

Heat pools in your core, even as your cheeks heat in embarrassment. “Someone is going to see us!” You squeak, voice more shrill than you would have liked it to be. You want this, you want it more than you’ll ever allow yourself to say out loud, but there is a crowd nearby and even with the glamor in place, it is still a far more compromising position than you’ve ever been in. At least before, your skirts hid your coupling, but there’s no hiding like this, as Rhys loops an arm around your waist and sinks his fangs into your neck.

The shadows that leak from Azriel drift off his broad shoulders, shimmering and darkening, as if they’re absorbing the moonlight seeping through the window. “Not unless you want them to,” he says as those scared hands drag up your soft skin.

Your hips buck despite yourself, body aching to be touched; for more, more, more. The aphrodisiac in Rhys’s venom takes hold quickly, makes your whole body molten. The combination of pain and pleasure makes you close your eyes and lean your head back against Rhys’s shoulder.

“Good girl,” Rhys purrs into your mind so he doesn’t have to release his grip on your neck. “Just relax, let us take care of you.”

Azriel must be linked into your conversation, because he says in your mind, “There’s not much room for creatures like us in temples, but I’ll worship here just the same,” as his own fangs sink into the tender flesh of your inner thigh.

It’s a far more tender spot than you thought it would be, a whimper of pain escaping you, body rocking back into the hard planes of Rhys’s chest and the growing bulge in his pants to try and escape. Their combined grip on you keeps you from getting far, but that whimper turns into a moan as Rhys drags a hand down between your legs to give you some relief. He chuckles into your mind when he finds you’re not wearing any underthings, but the slit in your skirts had made you nervous that someone would see the lacy underthings that kept appearing in your drawers if you moved too fast.

“Fuck,” Azriel moans as he unlatches his fangs from your thigh, fingers playing in the bit of blood that trickles out the puncture wounds. “She’s so sweet!”

Rhys, never one to make a mess, laps at what escapes from the wounds he made at your throat before saying, “I told you she was.”

Hazel eyes narrow into the teasing strokes the other vampire is making between your legs, watching with rapt attention the way Rhys spreads you open as he licks your blood off his lips. Vampires, you’ve noticed, have a strange sort of stillness about them, they can become still as statues, unmoving, never blinking, it was still nerve wracking, especially now that you know that predatory stillness comes right before they pounce, and Azriel has that same look about him, right before he leans in and licks a stripe up your center.

Rhys chuckles in your ear as you moan and try one more time to squirm away from their dual ministrations, body overwhelmed as he curls a finger inside you and Azriel follows with his tongue. 

You’re going to reach your high embarrassingly fast at this rate, especially when Rhys’s free hand slides your top to the side so he can roll a nipple between his fingers. You squeeze your eyes shut, one hand reaching behind you to tangle in Rhys’s hair, the other in Azriel’s to try and ground yourself. The intensity of both their venom in your bloodstream has heightened everything beyond what you’d already thought possible, your skin burning, coated in sweat from this alone. Their efforts are somehow too much and not enough and you’ve lost the presence of mind to tell which of their names you’re crying out first, it might be both of them. 

Azriel feasts on you like a male starved, and the shadows not making a shield around the three of you writhe eagerly over your thighs, dusting your heated skin with cool touches that make you buck your hips as best you can against their master’s grip. Rhys adds a second finger, using your gathering wetness and Azriel’s spit to spread you open further, giving the other male more access to you, his nose brushing your clit, chin absolutely soaked in the mess you’re making. The move has you panting, stars blurring across your vision as an orgasm tears through you.

“Fuck,” you whimper, body shaking from your high.

Rhys peppers kisses along your neck and shoulders as Azriel pulls back, licking your release off his lips. “No wonder you’ve been hiding this one from the rest of us,” he says huskily. “I could spend all night like this.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, little one?” Rhys purrs in your ear, breath tickling your still flushed skin. Their venom hasn’t worn off yet, body still not satiated, still begging to be touched and claimed. There’s not a chance you can close your legs, the evidence of your still budding arousal leaking onto his pants.

“Please,” you whimper.

“Which one of us do you want first, hm?”

How are you supposed to choose? There are too many things you want and it’s all getting muddled in your head. “Both.”

It’s Azriel’s deep rumble of a laugh that skitters across your skin as he says, “You can’t take both of us in this body, little one.” Scarred hands skim your exposed thighs, fingers kneading into the bite marks that are quickly turning into a bruise. “Humans are so fragile.”

And damn do you certainly feel it like this, tucked between the two of them. They could so easily break you, so easily overpower you. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. 

“Want…” your cheeks heat, a blush crawling its way up your neck and Rhys runs his tongue over it with a chuckle.

“Tell us what you want, Darling.”

You shiver, despite the flush of your damp skin. “Want to taste you then.”

You watch with rapt attention as those hazel eyes widen, the golden ring thinning until there is nothing but pupil as he processes what you’re saying. Still, you grind yourself down on Rhys’s bulge as you reach for the laces on Azriel’s pants, hoping he gets the hint as well.

“Greedy little thing,” Azriel tuts, but he steps closer anyway, letting you figure out how to get the laces untied in the moonlight. “I don’t think you’ve properly trained your pet, Rhys.”

Rhys’s fingers dip into the tender flesh of your hips mercilessly as he grinds you back against his erection, a rumble of a moan echoing through his chest. “Don’t want this one trained,” he purrs. “They taste better when they’re wild.”

You manage to get the laces undone, hands shaking a bit when you realize what you’ve just gotten yourself into. Rhys is a lot on his own, Azriel is… bigger than you expected. A lot bigger, his cock heavy and erect against his stomach. 

They must be having their own mental conversation, when you pause to consider how to even go about this, Azriel suddenly reaches out to grab you by the hair, pulling you forward as Rhys moves your skirts out of the way. Their movements are in perfect sync and you don’t know whether you should hiss from the sting of those large hands in your hair or moan as Rhys rubs the tip of his cock against your center. The sound that comes out of you is a little bit of both in the end.

“Are you sure about this?” Rhys inquires as if there could possibly be any thought in your head other than how much you need the both of them right now. Do they not share the same ache you feel? How are they not consumed by this thing that begs beneath your skin to be touched and soothed and filled?

You lean forward just enough to lick Azriel’s tip, catching a bead of pre-cum on your tongue as the male’s fingers tighten in your hair, a hiss escaping him. “Very sure.”

“Tap my thigh twice if it gets to be too much,” Rhys orders.

You nod your understanding as he slides slowly into you, letting you get adjusted to the feel of him from this angle. He’s deliberately slow, gliding in inch by inch, making your eyes roll back into your head, all your focus on the feel of him instead of tending to Az. 

“I see she gets her greediness from you,” Azriel teases.

You have to brace yourself against Azriel’s hips as Rhys rocks your forward, chuckling. “Just because I said I’d share, doesn’t mean I’m not going to have my fill.”

Stars dance across your vision as he hits an angle inside you he hasn’t reached before, mouth falling open as pleasure licks its way up your spine. 

Azriel grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him when all you want to do is squeeze your eyes shut under the pleasure. “Are you gonna put that pretty little mouth to use?”

You run your tongue over your lips, whimpering as Rhys settles fully inside you, “Mmhhmm,” is all you can manage to get out before he’s guiding you down to his leaking cock. 

“Been thinking about this for a long time,” Az whispers. “Always wearing that pretty shade of lipstick that would look so good smeared across my cock.”

You swirl your tongue over his tip again and his hips jerk involuntarily. It’s a greedy sort of satisfaction you get in knowing that you can reduce a thousand year old vampire to this with just your tongue, and you want to see how much farther you can push him. Keeping a hand on his hips for balance, you use the other touch him, tracing a line down the underside of his shaft that has him hissing as the muscles in his abdomen tighten.

Rhys takes as much time sliding out of you as he had sliding in, setting a leisurely pace you know is to help you get comfortable with this setting. As tight as his own muscles are, you know he’s holding back, and you’re grateful for it, as you start to take Azriel in your mouth. It’s going to take time to get used to, you have to focus all your effort into breathing out your nose and slackening your jaw. There’s no way you’re going to be able to fit all of him.

“Just like that,” Az moans, using the hand in your hair to guide you down further.

“Look so pretty like this,” Rhys encourages as he trails soft kisses over your spine. He’s far more gentle with you than a vampire ought to be, and you can’t help but think he might be getting attached to you; a notion that would have sounded absurd weeks ago, but makes your heart stutter a little now.

“Feels so good,” you tell him mind to mind.

He slides back into you with a groan, just a little more forcefully than before, making your head bob down Azriel’s cock until he hits the back of your throat. Az moans louder than someone who is usually so stoic ought to and you have to release him for a second to catch your breath.

He gives you mere seconds before he’s hurriedly pulling you back, groaning like he can’t bear to not have your mouth around him anymore. Rhys sets his pace to match, giving you a rhythm to follow as you get a hand around the parts of Az you can’t get your mouth around. 

This is a pleasure you didn’t know you needed; the way they both moan and pant over you has you rocking your hips back into Rhys, your hand pumping a little harder around Az. As much as you want them to ruin you, you want to do the same to them.

Rhys’s fangs scrape over your shoulder, fingers tightening into your hips in a move you know will leave bruises. He’s getting closer to the edge, all his praises whispered in pants against your skin.

Az throws his head back as he hits the back of your throat once, twice, then a third time, the muscles in his abdomen tightening with every thrust. 

They’re both so close, you not far behind, especially when Rhys slips his hand between your legs again.

“Fuck,” Az whispers. With his head thrown back like that, eyes pinched shut, muscled body bathed in the moonlight, he looks every bit a god. And if his tongue between your legs counts as worship, then so should this as you take him as deep as you can without gagging, face a mess of spit and pre-cum.

“Gonna cum,” he warns.

Rhys’s thrusts are getting harder, the chair groaning beneath him as he fucks up into you. This is usually where he likes another taste of you, you’re used to the routine of it, ready for him to sink his fangs into your shoulder, though the force of it this time is different, as if he’s losing control, the bite sloppy, teeth scraping against your skin before they push in.

Your whole body tenses at the sensation of a thousand year old vampire losing a bit of his usual control, pleasure building white hot in your core. You want to see him a complete mess one of these days. 

It’s your moan around his cock that pushes Azriel quickly over the edge, warm cum spurting in your mouth before he can pull away from you. Azriel, quite, broody Azriel groans and pants as he cums, the sound like music to your ears as you drink him down. His hand still hasn’t left your hair, now scrapping gently against your scalp as you release him with a pop that turns into a squeal as Rhys bites down on your shoulder a second time.

One more thrust, then a second before your own release barrels through you, white hot in the buzz of sensations swirling around your head. Your own release chases Rhys into his and he jerks forward with a cry as he spills inside you.

You fall back against his chest as you come down from your high, body trembling, breath escaping in pants. 

Azriel reaches out and wipes a bit of the mess he made on your chin with his thumb, muttering, “Beautiful.”

Still catching his breath, Rhys presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek, and judging by the wetness on his lips you think there might still be some blood on them, but you’re too blissed out to care.

“Did so well,” he praises in your ear, voice still low and husky.

You raise a hand to card your fingers through his hair, eyes drifting shut, beyond satiated. If someone had told you this would have happened because you’d decided to sneak into a party and dance with a stranger, you wouldn’t have believed them in the slightest, but now, it doesn’t matter how long it takes for him to fulfill his end of the bargain. There are new freedoms to be found still, new pleasures to experience. You know things will be different once he turns you, and you’re not ready to feel so different yet. Right now, you like this thing between you. It’s good. Freeing.

“I’m glad I met you,” you admit softly.

“How very human of you to say,” Azriel teases as he fixes his pants. Despite his words, once he’s done, he still leans down to kiss your forehead.

“You like that I’m human,” you counter.

Rhys manages to get you repositioned so he can stand and carry you upstairs to his room, where you know a warm bath will be waiting for the two of you. “That we do, little one,” he purrs. “There’s still so much more to explore before you turn.”

[fieldofdaisiies]

Power Over Me

ship: Nyx x Reader type: I don't know, a bit angsty, a bit fluffy word count: 2k words warnings: none request: Hiii i just finished reading ur Nyx fic on wattpad now I have an obsession with the young lordling. I was wondering if you can make an angsty fic of him and reader where they had a fight and she doesn't talk to him and makes him grovel??

He is a fool. A big, big fool. Nyx knows this. He knows this so well. 

He sits on the railing of the balcony, wings spread wide behind his back as he balances, pondering over the biggest mistake he has ever made in his life — letting you go. 

A cool breeze blows through his hair and he brings a hand up to brush back his silken strands, before grabbing a hair tie and fixating them at the nape of his neck. You look more and more like Cassian, he can hear his mother's voice and a low, cold chuckle slips through his lips. 

Maybe he does, but Cassian wouldn't have messed up like this. 

This stupid fight — it was so useless, over something so stupid. His thoughts were a little too loud, and he started to worry that you can't stand the pressure of dating the High Lord's heir. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he did not even listen to you, did not even give you a chance to explain to him that it doesn't matter to you. And then you laughed and chatted with his best friend, Ran, and jealousy flooded the young heir. He thought you would like Ran more and that you would be so much better off with him. Everything, every stupid thought filled his brain, and he saw red and simply ended things with you. 

And well, now he has to pay the price. 

After your fight, you told him you don't ever want to have anything to do with him. The hurt just ran so deep, your emotions got the best of you and made you say this. 

You did not mean it, not really at least, but obviously Nyx now thinks he lost you forever. 

A groan parts his lips when the young lordling throws his head back, his eyes squeezed shut. 

"Let me guess, a girl is the reason behind your misery?"

Nyx whips his head to the side, eyes wide open. 

He didn't hear his father enter, nor did he hear him approach. But suddenly Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, stands next to him, hands braced on the railing onto which Nyx sits. 

Nyx closes his eyes and groans again. "So obvious?"

Rhysand chuckles lowly, then he clicks his tongue. "Very much, son." The High Lord turns his head, giving him son a sidelong glance. He just looks so much like Rhysand, the same eyes, the same colour of hair, the same stature, he only has Feyre's eyes, and her nose. And apparently he is trying to get the same hairstyle as his uncle. "This is about Y/N, I assume?" Rhysand asks when Nyx provides no further information. 

"You know about us?" 

For a moment Nyx worries his mental shields have been lowered too often and he has given everything he ever thought away. But his father's answer brings at least some comfort in this case. 

"The amount of times she has been here, how you looked at her and the way you talked about definitely gave you away." Rhysand chuckles again and finally Nyx turns to him as well, sadness glistening in his eyes when he searches his father's gaze. 

"She is amazing," Nyx mumbles. 

"She is." The High Lord nods, sympathy passing over his face. "And now I wonder what happened."

"I am a fool and I messed up?"

Rhysand raises a questioning brow. "Enlighten me, son."

"I let her go?" Nyx says, his voice rising at the end, almost like he is posing a question. 

Confusion passes over Rhysand's face and he watches his son closely. "Why?" he asks. "Did you do something to hurt her? Or did she do something to hurt you?"

"Yes." Nyx presses his lips in a thin line and lowers his chin to his chest, letting his head hang. 

"Yes, what?"

Another groan leaves the lordling, and he once again throws his head back in a dramatic manner. "I fucked up."

"Wording," Rhysand reprimands and gives his head a little shake. 

Nyx turns to him once again and rolls back his shoulder. "Sorry, father. I messed up. I broke up with her. I got jealous and I then I thought I was not good enough for her and I broke up with Y/N, not even listening to what she has to says and she…" His voice starts to quaver, but Nyx quickly bites down on the inside of his cheek — he won't cry now. 

"She said she never wanted to see me again."

"And you just gave up?" Rhysand leans forward a little, holding his son' gaze. He can see the young boy behind his grown-up demeanour. Deep inside, Nyx is still so very young, his little boy, and he will forever stay that. Rhysand brings his arm up to clasp Nyx's shoulder. "Your mother called me terrible names back then, threw a shoe at me—" "Y/N tossed pillow at me," Nyx says with a cold chuckle. "And then told me to get lost, but not in the nice wording I just used." A sad smile appears on his lips, and Rhysand squeezes his shoulder again. 

"You are going to fix this, Nyx. I know this. But you need to put some effort in it. Buy her something nice, show her that it was a mistake. Tell her—" "I tried!" Nyx blurts out and throws his hands up in despair. "I tried everything. I brought her flowers. I brought her chocolate. I knocked at her window at three in the morning. I told her she is amazing and I tried to make it up with her. But she does not even want to see me. She—" "Did you apologise?" Rhysand raises a brow. "Did you tell her that you are a massive fool for letting her go?"

Nyx doesn't answer, does not deny it either, which tells Rhys he hasn't. The young lordling only turns his head to side and stares straight forward at the Sidra river, his lips pressed in a thin line, eyes downcast, gaze empty. 

The High Lord tilts his head in a reproachful manner, and gives his son's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Well, I guess you now know what you have to do?"

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

And Nyx does know what he has to do. The moment the sun rises the next moment, he is one his feet, gathering the large bouquet of flowers his aunt Elain made for him, a box of little chocolate hearts in his other hand. He sets out, his wings carrying him over Velaris to the small house where you live with your family. 

Today he won't give up. Today he will make up with you. He is Nyx Archeron, first born son of Rhysand and Feyre, High Lord and Lady of the Night Court, and he won't give up. 

He will get you back and he will never let you go. 

Determination is etched upon his features when he Nyx slowly descends. His grips the bouquet and the box of chocolates in his hands, his heart beating so rapidly he can feel it in his throat, hammering against his ribcage. But it won't make him give up. 

This is a mission, a mission he will return from successful. With confident struts he nears your entrance door, shifts the bouquet and knocks. 

And then he waits, feeling how his hands turns clammy, how his heart beats even faster, his breathing quickens until—

The door opens slowly, and your beautiful eyes are the first thing he sees. 

"Y/N, I—" You slam the door in his face. Or rather you try to, but he is faster. He places his foot in the doorframe, stopping the door. "No, Y/N, you need to listen to me. You need to let me explain. Please, hear me out."

"Just like you listened to me?" With anger in your voice, you raise your brow at him, fingers curled around the door. "What do you want, Nyx? Ask me again if I am banging Ran behind your back? Tell me again that I am not good enough for the High Lord's son and should rather be with someone like Ran?"

"I never meant it like that. You are good enough for me. I am not good enough for you and I am huge fool."

You snort. "That is true. You are a big idiot." Slowly you grip on the door loosens, but you stand your ground, nothing kind or warm in your gaze. He hurt you and he should see what his words have done to you. 

"I know this, I am the biggest idiot ever for letting you go. I love you and I am sorry - for what I said, for what I assumed, for how I behaved."

"And you think a simple sorry is enough?" You raise your brow, hoping your discussion at the door does not draw your family's attention to you. They are all still asleep and really don't want them to wake up because you are fighting with the High Lord's son at the entrance door. So, you decide to step outside, closing the door behind you.

A glimmer of relief passes over Nyx's face, over you at least wanting to talk to him, being ready to listen to him. It is what he should have done. 

"No, I don't think so," he says, voice tinged with shame. He gives his head a little shake. "I know I have to fight hard to make it up to you, and I will fight hard for you. I am a born warrior and I won't give up like that."

"You are a born idiot, Nyx." You can't avoid the silly, little smile from appearing on your lips. 

Nyx has to chuckle a little as well, stepping a little closer to you. "I brought you chocolate and flowers." He reaches his hands forward. 

You don't accept immediately, you let him suffer for a second, and then hesitantly reach forward and take the things from his hands. Inhaling a deep breath, you lift your gaze to his. "It is a beginning and—Nyx, what are you doing?!"

The High Lord's son drops to his knees in front of you, staring up at you with a pout and pleading eyes. "I love you. I love you so much, and I am the biggest idiot Prythian has ever seen. Letting you go was the worst I could have ever done, and I hate myself every day for it."

"Nyx, Gods, get up please." You have to laugh a little as you try to urge him to get back up again. 

"Not until you forgive me." He pouts even more, brows laying in furrows. 

"Nyx," you say, shifting the bouquet, so you can reach a hand out and grab his arm.

But he shakes his head. "Nope. I am sorry. I never thought you would cheat on me, I just thought you being with me puts unnecessary burdens on you. Everyone in Velaris knows who I am, and they will be interested in you as well. People will question who you are, will want to know everything about you—"

"And I told you that I don't care. Or, I tried to tell you that I don't care." You now also take a step towards him. "I don't mind it. I wanted to be with you, and I don't care what other people think or want to know about me. I like you and I care about what you think, not random citizens from Velaris." 

You tilt your head to the side and look at him for a long moment. "If you promise me to never question my love for you, my loyaltiy and that I would never betray you, I will forgive you."

"Sure?" Nyx raises a brow. 

You nod and he finally gets back onto his feet, straightening up and rolling back his shoulders. "Also, to make it fully up to you, you are allowed to call me an idiot for the rest of our immortal life."

You grin, stepping into him so he can put his arms around you. "I would have done that anyway." You smile into his chest when a soft laugh leaves him and he embraces you tightly. "I love you so much and I missed you terribly."

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 6

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1,318

TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited

A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.

My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.

we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I barely sleep anymore.

Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.

I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.

I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)

The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.

I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.

I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.

I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.

LOML 🥰 CALLING… ✅ ❎

“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”

No response. Fuck.

“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”

there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”

My heart drops.

“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.

“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.

“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”

Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.

“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.

“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.

the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.

“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.

“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.

Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.

by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”

“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.

“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.

I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.

I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.

He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.

Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.

“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”

“who said I was pretending?”

���”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

[bronx-bomber87]

First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.

I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.

6x08 Punch Card

Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.

Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.

Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.

Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.

This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.

Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.

This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....

Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.

Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.

Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.

Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha

What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.

Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…

Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.

This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...

Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.

Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.

From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.

Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.

First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.

‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.

Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*

Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.

Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.

I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.

She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.

Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.

Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.

He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.

Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.

That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.

Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.

But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.

[alongtidesoflight]

so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.

full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.

oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.

i'm starting off with the things i liked

the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.

combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less

the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.

your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.

the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.

speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.

bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.

varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.

the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).

rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.

and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately

the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.

tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???

there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.

i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.

that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.

for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol

in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.

the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.

this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.

when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.

morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.

dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.

on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.

really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.

for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.

rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.

speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.

the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything

[straykuds]

Arguments with skz (hyung line)

This took an insanely amount of time and yep, my phone passed away twice before I could even complete it, so I managed to complete it on my laptop. I apologize for any mistakes found. And just to let you know, there is also a short fanfic after every argument.

This is purely fiction. Good luck reading, my fellow delulus

Warning: angst, comfort

This is my first time writing a fanfic, so please go easy on me. Merci 🌜

Bangchan

With tears in your eyes, you threw your phone on your bed, purely out of rage and hurt. All you wanted was nothing but his attention and of course, he just had to hurt your feelings, making you feel like you were nothing to him.

Eventually, you ended up sleeping after a while of crying your eyes out but then you woke up to a weighted feeling on your waist.

Already knowing who it was due to the smell of his cologne, you reached out to his arm and shoved it away. There was no doubt that you were still very mad at him.

" Y/n" he called your name, but you didn't dare move an inch, nor make an effort to see his face.

Chan let out a soft sigh. It was very clear that he'd regretted what he'd said to you earlier. He didn't mean it, he never meant all those things he said to you.

" I'm sorry" he apologized. " All those things I said earlier, I never meant any of them, I promise." He explained, hoping to get some reaction from you but your face was turned away from him, beads of tears brimming your eyes.

Knowing Chan for a very long time, you knew he probably didn't mean any of those things he said to you (even though they were hurtful words).

" I don't want you to pressurize yourself into being around me if that makes you happy"

Just after those words spilled out of your mouth, you felt his arms around you and before you knew it, you were already facing him with his soft lips connected to yours. You didn't fight back, you'd missed him too much to push him away.

Pulling away, he stared into your eyes lovingly. " I'm the happiest when I'm with you, darling," he smiled softly. " And just to let you know, you're not selfish to ask for my attention. I'm sorry for not being the boyfriend you need me to be. I'm sorry for letting you down. You don't deserve any of th-"

He paused immediately as you brought your lips to his. " I forgive you." You mentioned.

" Really?" He asked, his eyes widening a bit. Nodding, he gave him a peck on his lips for more confirmation. But then your little moment was cut off by you letting out a yawn.

" Can we go to sleep now?" You asked, your eyes already starting to feel droopy. Pulling you closer to him, he wrapped his strong arms around you but right before you fell asleep, you heard a soft " I love you"

Lee know

" Good gracious, y/n what are you doing here?" Felix exclaimed, his eyes widening in utter shock. I mean, who wouldn't be when a person appears on their doorstep at midnight.

" Can I sleep here tonight? I don't really feel like sleeping at the apartment"

Not even needing to consider it, he opened the door widely, letting you in. He was your best friend after all, there was no way he'd say no to you.

Sensing that something was wrong with you, he decided not to question you knowing fully well that you'd only talk about it when you're ready so instead he gave you the extra bedroom he had for tonight.

Space was all your boyfriend needed and that's what you were giving him.

And with that thought on your mind, you drifted off to sleep.

Two hours had passed. Your bloodshot eyes slowly opened up. Your throat, dry as the Sahara desert, your body temperature, hot as hell and your head, pounding. All because of the tears Lee know had caused you to shed.

Looking around the room, you felt empty. Yes, you were extremely mad at your boyfriend but at the same time, there was no denying that you missed him. His touch, his kisses...his everything.

You reached out for your phone on the nightstand and to your utmost shock, you'd gotten over 30 missed calls all from Lee Know. To be honest, you felt very touched at the fact that he was worried for you and a tiny bit of you had forgiven him even though he was yet to apologize.

But at that moment, all you needed was a glass of water. Walking out of the room, you couldn't help but hear muffled voices coming from the living room. Recognizing Felix's voice, you wondered who he was talking to. Curious, you advanced further but then stopped in your tracks when you made eye contact with a familiar face.

" Lee Know..." You whispered to yourself. Before you could process anything else, you were pulled into the arms of your worried looking boyfriend.

" I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have asked you for space. I don't know what I was saying. I was so worried about you, y/n. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I was having a bad day and took out my anger on you, that was so low coming from me. Please forgive me" he rambled, not even sparing a breath.

Not having the strength to shed any more tear, you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. " It's okay, you're forgiven." You faintly smiled.

Coming closer to you, he pecked your forehead and looked down at you, considering your height difference. " Let's go home, shall we?"

Changbin

It was your two years anniversary with each other and you'd planned a well prepared dinner for just the two of you in the comfort of your home. You'd stayed up waiting for him, dressed in your finest clothing and simple jewelry.

The expectations you'd have of the night was brought down to the drain as now, you were sat on your living room floor, trying to drain your tears with ice cream. You couldn't believe it.

A year ago, Changbin had made a promise never to drink again, knowing fully well on how much you despised alcohol because it reminded you of your bad childhood. You still couldn't process the fact that he'd forgotten about your anniversary.

Your thoughts came to a halt when the doorbell rang. Knowing it was him, you got up from the ground and walked over to open it up for him, allowing him in and now here you were, the both of you staring into each other's eyes. None of you saying a word.

Looking at him made you feel more pissed off than before. Trying to walk away from him, he grabbed your hand and turned you to look at him.

" Can we talk?" He asked, now sober and back to his senses.

" There's nothing to talk about. Goodnight." You wriggled your hand out of his grip.

" Y/n..."

" Look Changbin, I'm very tired right now and literally have no strength to talk to you. Whatever you wanna say can wait."

Just like that, you walked away from him and made your way to your bedroom where you cried the rest of your tears to sleep. Safe to say, he found it hard to sleep that night.

The very next morning, he'd done everything possible to earn your forgiveness and let me say, it took a really long time because he ended up making up for the previous day, but on the bright side, y'all's relationship was back to normal.

Hyunjin

" Babe, hear me out," Hyunjin pleaded, following you around the house as you did basic chores. After the last text you'd sent to him, he came running all the way from work to apologize to you and unfortunately for him, you were having none of it.

" I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean it."

Sighing frustratingly, you whipped your head around to glare at him. " Can you stop trailing me around? You're starting to get on my nerves now." You told him.

" I'm very sorry. You're not annoying, nor are you pushy. I'm just very dumb and stupid for even saying that. You deserve to be treated like royalty"

" You like someone else?" You asked, crossing your arms.

" Fuck, no, y/n. You're the only one I love, please forgive me for what I said. From now on, I promise to give you all the attention you want."

" You mean it?" You asked again, squinting your eyes at him. He nodded frantically. Giving him one more look, you forgave him and almost immediately, he tackled you into a hug and spoilt your face with kisses.

At the end of the day, the both of you ended up spending your evening at the cinema.

I hope you like it. Sorry for any mistakes found 🤗

[iridescentpull]

Letter from Anthony to Ian (August 24, 2017)

**NOTE: There might be a few spelling mistakes so I apologize! This is a transcript of Anthony's letter put together for your reading!**

------------

Ian,

Hello old time friend. I have a lot to say to you that has remained unsaid for many years.

First, I want to thank you for being such a great friend to me in my very fragile teenage years. I came from a broken home with very little money and no means to explore the world outside of suburban Carmichael. You introduced me to your loving family, who welcomed me and loved me with open arms. They helped me travel and showed me a way of life that I hadn't been exposed to. You personally were supportive and overall were a very good friend to me who I felt could share anything with. 

I'm not sure why, but something changed. I feel our best friendship ended around 2009, and a resentment started growing between us. I started feeling a judgment in the tone of your voice. A sense of hostility in your actions. Did I do something that upset you? Did I treat you poorly? Did I make you feel insignificant- downplay the importance you had in our company and imply you were not as responsible for our success as me? 

I know I struggle with many things, and I'm so sorry if i ever put you through emotional turmoil in order to fulfill my own quota of self-importance. I always wanted everything I made to be just that- something I "made" with your help. I considered smosh to be something you only tagged along for, and I'm deeply sorry if I ever made you feel like you didn't deserve as much credit as me. You may not have done some of the heavy lifting I did in the early days, but definitely encouraged us to keep going and you kept things light and full of laughs as we did it. We accomplished so much and I am now just realizing how important you were in making that happen. 

I have so many things I have treated that I regret and so many things I wish I could apologize to you for doing- I really wish you would give me a chance to speak with you. There are also so many things I wish you would explain to me. 

Why have you consistently made me feel ashamed to be myself in front of you for so many years? The time I asked you what you thought about my shoes when we were seventeen and you told me you thought they were hideous- and I could tell you only said it to hurt my feelings. The time you talked shit behind my back on facebook to the girl we were friends with that I introduced you to. The amount of things you said behind my back to our high school friends about me and my relationship. The snide remarks you made about me being vegan. The times you made me feel stupid for making any content whatsoever that was not directly smosh-related. The snide remarks about anything I made that put my true emotions out there for the world. I just wished you were better at communicating.

I know I'm not any better but i feel like i tried with you. I tried to break out of my comfort zone and talk about things that made me feel uncomfortable. When we were in New York for our "Ghostmates" tour we got drinks and I opened up about how embarrassed I was that my previous relationship was so obviously bad to the outside world and how naive I was to think I would actually marry someone like that. I was vulnerable and breaking down all my walls in hopes you'd return the favor. But nothing. The conversation was once again one-sided.

Am I just horrible to open up to you? Have I made you feel uncomfortable to open up around me? Have I made you feel all the ways you've made me feel? Are the ways you treat me nothing but an echo of how I treat you? Am I the one at fault here? Did I create a problem that went way further than the point of no return? Is this all because of me? 

PERHAPS.

But I don't think there is a point of no return for friendships as deep as ours was. I am reaching out to you as an ex-best friend. I want to talk about things and lay them all out there so we can possibly mend things. And if we don't become friends again, at least we can say we tried. But why avoid trying all together? 

What are you afraid of? I know I've been callous in the past, but please give me a chance. I've changed and I'm now a more understanding person. All I ask for you is for you to stop being a fucking asshole. Just kidding. I had to say it. I just want you to treat me with respect again.

After everything I've observed in the past few years, I'm starting to truly believe you may not be a good person anymore. Do I even want to know the bitter, grumpy, vengeful person you've become? Is it better that I keep my distance to ensure I don't get even more hurt by you in the future? 

I feel like you've become the bully. You are so upset by so many things but you keep it all to yourself. No one knows what's really going on inside your head, but you take the easiest route and put a fake smile on and walk around like you have a life to envy, but deep down inside you're hurting. There's more going on than you even know, All things that slowly come bubbling up to the surface through your skin, they boil under the surface and fester until they finally burst with a shitty loaded comment or a passive aggressive outburst. 

I feel like I haven't known the real you for so many years. Does anyone know the real you?

Do you know the real you?

[fl3shm4id3n]

Wₕₐₜ ₐ ⱼₒₖₑ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ɪᴍᴘʟɪᴇᴅ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍ! ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ Qᴜᴀʀɪᴛᴄʜ x ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ! ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ꜱᴏɴɢ: ᴍɪᴛꜱᴋɪ- ᴡᴀꜱʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴄʜɪɴᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

Tw: kidnapping, torture, daddy issues, 'age gap' (reader is 25/ Quaritch is 20 but technically 51), comfort, not edited.

A/N: This was a bitch to write, I tried thinking as much as I could to make it sound interesting. Sorry it took me a while, I finally manage to finish this, I hope ya'll like this part.

Masterlist

Ever since you had been taken by the RDA, you had a lot in your mind. How were your sibling and Spider doing? Were they okay? You had been worried about them, even though you had been put in that torture device, you didn't give them any proper information on where your dad could be. You had recognized Miles and he had recognized you. He thought that you were the key in knowing where your dad was, but no, you didn't give them anything.

Now you were sitting under the small table, hiding in some form of way and you had some now dried but also running blood on your nose. You were hugging you knees to your chest, then you heard the door open, looking over you saw that it was Quaritch coming in and turned your attention away. He then leaned down to get a look at you, he sighed and walked over to where you were hiding. Again, he got down to get a look at you again. "Why don't you come out so that, we can have a little chit chat." He said, at first you didn't want to, but what was the point in refusing. You sighed, then crawled out on the opposite side, looking over at him, he got back up and gestured for you to sit on the table.

You then went over and sat on the table, with your back facing him. He then walked over to you, kneeling down to your height. " Kid, you got heart. Those science pukes leaned on you pretty hard, but you gave them nothing." He said towards you. "I respect that" he said, while you stayed silent and looking down at your thighs. Miles continued to look at you, as he got out what you heard were his dog tags. "Thought you might want this" he said, then he extended his hand to you, looking up, you saw how his huge hand was holding his dog tags. Without thinkin twice you took the dog tags and looked at them, reading what they said.

"Colonel Miles Quaritch, deceased. Killed in action." He said, while he took a seat next to you while he continued to speak. "I'm not that man, but, I do have his memories." He explained, as if he were in the third person. You then placed the dog tags next to you. "I know I wasn't the best person back then, but I can help you, I can get you out of here." He said, this caught your attention. "I'm not telling you to betray your father, I know you'd never do that you're loyal. I admire loyalty." He said, then he reached in his pocket, pulling out something. then he got what seemed to be a huge handkerchief and brought it up to your nose, lightly cleaning the both dried and new blood from your upper lip. "Just ride along, other wise I've got to give you back to the white coats." He said as he continued to clean your bloodied nose, what choice did you have?

After that talk you were put in some kind of small room, right next to Quaritch quarters. The recoms had to go back out, to look for Jake. As much as you didn't want them to, they did. But before they left, you had asked them to not hurt your younger siblings. Miles said that he can't do promises he can't keep. This worried you a lot, you just hoped that your siblings are safe. You knew how they'd be in the woods for huge amount of hours, exposed to danger, but they always manage to be okay, but with Miles and his team out there? Who knows.

They had come back hours later, but they had Spider. Why did they have Spider? When you confronted Miles, he had explained to you that Spider was his son and he had to take him for information. You had an argument, that you had told them to not hurt the kids, but they probably did. You saw the cuts and bruises on his shoulders, plus shoulder blades. You were dragged with Miles, seen Spider being put in that same room you were placed when you first arrived. You had been asking Miles to let you talk with Spider, but he didn't budge yet.

You were horrified seen Spider hooked up in the same machine that you were in. He was getting tortured with that green light and his braid was being studied. Just like you, he didn't say or reveal anything. You watched, hoping that they'd stop but they didn't. They continued on with the torture, you had enough and practically yelled for Miles to make them stop. Seen the look of distress in your face, he finally did. He got them to stop, Spider seemed close to passing out with his nose also bleeding. He was placed back in the room he was previously in. Miles wanted to go and talk with Spider, but you asked to go instead. At first he wasn't sure, but he knew that he'd have more trust in you, then he'd listen, so you were sent off to talk to Spider.

Now you had headed to the room, with Miles behind you. He stood outside as you walked in. You were now in and the door had closed behind you. "Spider!" you whispered to get his attention. As soon as he saw you, he crawled out of the bottom of the table and ran towards you, ingulfing you in a hug. You hugged him back, happy to see a familiar face in here. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Spider asked you. "I'm fine." You said to him. Turning back to the door, seen that Miles tail was right there, moving around. "We need to talk." You said in a more serious tone. "We have to do what they." You instructed, seen Spider's face which twisted into one of confusion.

"Here me out first." You cut him off before he could say a word. The you pulled him to sit on the counter. You then pulled Spider close to you, nearly face to face touching. "In order for us to survive in this place. We don't have to tell them anything. Not a single word to them about Jake or the others. We just have to go along with them and do what they say. They're not going to do anything to us unless we go along." You explained to him as quiet as possible so that you couldn't be heard. Spider thought about it for a moment, but he nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I get it." He said, as much as he didn't seem to like the idea, but he didn't want nothing bed to happen to you and him.

The next day you and Spider were being taken on a plane with the rest of the recoms. They were going on a mission to, try and get an idea on where Jake could be. Quaritch had instructed you get on the plane and stay out of the way, so that's what you did, once in the air craft you were seated down while Spider tried to mess with one of the gun's on the ship. But he was quickly sat down next to you, by Quaritch. He began telling you both on how your masks had a trackers and if either of you were to run off, he'll bring you right back and give us a old school whopping. All you had to say was a 'Yes Sir' and it was settled.

You and Spider were now in the jungle with the Recoms, Quaritch was even nice enough to get you a clean pair of clothes. It was a simple grey RDA shirt and camo pants. Spider still wanted of remain in his attire. You remember when Miles had cleaned your bleeding nose, it was very kind gesture of his. You remember when Jake would clean your nose when you were much younger or get you cleaned clothes for you, that was a long time ago.

Miles noticed how you had a scowl planted on your face and didn't seem very social. He gets it, you're a prisoner that has to help and roll with them, but he also can tell that you have issues, issues involving your father who you seem to avoid talking about, as if he was a plague of some kind or just didn't feel like talking about him. The days passed, and you and Spider have been teaching the recoms about the Omaticaya and other stuff, not everything, just whatever they needed to know. Did it feel like you were betraying them? A bit, but at the same time you were a mare human, a fucking demon who is stuck here with the rest. You didn't care that you were labeled as a traitor, who'd care anyway? your dad?

That day you had told them about the Ikran and how they were must faster transportation and no one would really suspect of them. So you took them to the mountain where the Ikran roamed. Once you got to the top, you showed them were they were. You watched how Lyle handed Quaritch a gun with sleeping darts. All you did was laugh, making him look at you in confusion. "Kids younger than Spider do this with there bare hands." You said, Spider had a little smirk on his lips, almost as if he was mockinig Miles. He looked back at the Ikran, then back at you two. "Your dad did this the hard way?" he asked. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, referring to Jake as your dad. It was annoying, if only he knew. "What do you think?" you asked while still annoyed. He then gave the gun back to Lyle and went over to where the Ikran were.

You watched as some ikran avoided him, until one with dark skin and a red chin hissed at him. He was chosen alright. You and Spider watched how Quaritch had tried to get near the creature, but the creature tried to bite him, resulting in the ikran getting punched, then he moved over and jumped on it's back, trying to get the creature to calm down. All you could do is watch and laugh. "Did I forget to tell you that you have to tied their mouth shut?!" you yelled, watching him struggle. "Thanks a lot kid!" he said, while still struggling, one thing lead to another. You watched how Quaritch and the Ikran had jumped off the cliff and fell down to the clouds.

You, Spider, and the other recoms came over to see if they could spot him, you looked around, trying to find him. A couple more minutes and nothing, he must have died. Then Lyle decided that it was best to move, you still stayed over the edge to try and spot them, but no. Lyle called out to you to get moving. You sighed, then walked over to where the team was. Spider was still at the edge, trying to find a sign of his 'father' but nothing. You looked over at him. "Spider, come on" You instructed him. So he got up from his knees and walked back to you, with his head down, seeming a bit upset. Until you heard flapping and a loud scream, looking up startled, it was Quaritch was there flying the ikran. Everyone began getting excited, watching him riding the ikran. you heard how Lyle was encouraging his colonel. Now it was the rest of the Recoms to get their ikran.

After that little adventure, you were on Quaritch's Ikran Cupcake, it was an odd name, but it was also humorous in a way. The whole ride you had been teaching him how to pronounce proper phrases and stuff. Since you were basically helping them, you had been teaching him how to properly speak na'vi, his na'vi was okay, but it still needed some improving. You also couldn't help but notice how he tried to get to know you, you've known each other many years back, but from what you heard from him, he didn't have many memories from his past life. It was odd that an adult was curious about you, it was weird. You mostly avoided personal questions about your dad and your so called family. Whenever Quaritch would ask about them, you'd just shrugged it off or changed the subject, he took notice of this.

Besides that, You also saw how quickly both Spider and Miles got along. It was as if they had formed in a quick bond. You heard about both of them being related, they were father and son. They shared a few of their personality traits, they both had some huge ego, pride, and how they seemed to be cheeky in a way, but Spider was much more companionate than Miles. It was nice to see in. A father and son relationship take action in a matter of little time. Spider didn't seem to have to prove himself to Miles, the older guy already seemed proud of his son by just looking at him. That was unlike someone you knew.

Quaritch noticed how you never seemed to speak about your father or family, he'd watch you roll your eyes every time he'd ask anything involving Jake. At first he thought that it was because you didn't want to say anything involving your dad, but he noticed how you had no interest in talking about him. He knew something was up, but he didn't want to pray just yet. Talking with you was as if he was talking to an angsty teenager. You were 25 years old while he technically 20, but he was still considered older than you in human years.

The days passed and things got weirder. When on ground when there was a 'false alarm' Quaritch would always pull you behind him protectively. In the sky he'd somewhat hide you under him or put his giant hand on your head to protect you. One time on ground you had fallen down a hill, which resulted in you getting a few bruises. He had picked you up and made sure to check you for any more bruises, he could of got his team's medic to heal you, but instead it was him who was cleaning your cuts. The reason why he was doing that must have been because he didn't want his poisoner to get harmed. That was reasonable. At least you thought.

It was weird, your so called enemy had made you feel safe and secure, as if he was the only man that kept you safe under his watch. Not only that, but he had made you feel wanted. You've been living with the feeling of being unwanted for many years, but now, for some reason with him, it was different. You actually felt as if someone wanted you. He is also very understandable when it comes to you. He somewhat knows a thing or two that about your situation, even though you may not have said anything about your relationship with your father, he knew by just looking at your body language. It was probably because you were his prisoner who he had to keep alive in order to get to Jake. And because he wanted to gain your thrust so that you could tell him everything. At least that's what you thought.

That night while everyone was sleeping, including Spider who was laying a couple feet away from you. It was only you and Quaritch who had remained awake. You didn't feel or were tired, seems like he didn't either. To kill some time, you both decided to have a talk, it didn't matter of what, you just wanted to talk to someone, even if it was the enemy.

"I've noticed that you really talk about your dad." Quaritch said, then you all of a sudden snapped. "He's not my dad!" you paused, recognizing how you had just responded. "At least not anymore.." you said, this got him curious. "Why is that?" Quaritch asked, watching you play with your fingers nervously. "He forgot about me... he started his own family and began to ignore me, basically..." you said, looking down sadly. All Quaritch could do was nod. "So, he got with his women, had his kids and forgot about you? He left you behind over his litter of half-breads" he said. As harsh as it sounded, it was true. You slowly nodded. "Yeah... I guess there wasn't enough room for a demon like me.." you said. Feeling tears build up in your eyes.

Quaritch could hear the sadness in your voice, and he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks. "Hm, you didn't fail him." He said, making you look up at him, as more tears and now snot rolled down your face. "He failed you, his first born, all for some people that he didn't belong in to begin with" he said. "You think so?" you asked. "I know so, you seem like the best kid he could of had, but he lost you. And it was all his doing not yours, you only wanted his attention back, right? You wanted your father." he said. You nodded, using the back of your hand to clean your nose.

"Yeah, that's all I want, I just... I want him to look at him the same way he looks at my sisters... I want him to look at me as if I'm his Baby Girl again" you said, your voice was shaky and more tears developed in your eyes. Quaritch felt as if his heart shattered to pieces, he couldn't really explain why, he felt horrible seen you this upset. You were basically a kid stuck in an adult's body. It was obvious that you needed a father, he knew that your mother had left you back on earth and the only parent you had left was your dad. If not a father, then someone, someone who'd love and understand you. A father was suppose to protect you and love you, instead he left you, just like that woman who was suppose to also love you and care for you.

He reached towards you, pulling you into a side hug. You hugged his side, burying your face into his dark green tank top. He had gone soft, he wasn't harsh or acting like he normally acted around the others. He was comforting, which was weird at first, but you let that slide. You've never been hugged in this way, or at least not hugged by someone comfortingly. It felt nice, for once. Miles then pulled away from the hug, then he cleaned your tears soaked cheeks with his huge blue thumb. "Don't cry, you'll be okay." He said comfortingly. You only nodded, cleaning your nose with your shirt this time. "You're right, I shouldn't cry over dumb shit." You said, cleaning your face with your hands. Lightly tapping your cheeks to stop yourself from crying anymore. "Get some rest kid, we got a lot to do tomorrow." He ordered, you only nodded, then went over to where Spider was sleeping and carefully laid on your side, to not wake him up. You hoped that tomorrow things get slightly better.

ₚᵣₑ��ᵢₒᵤₛ ₚₐᵣₜ, ₙₑₓₜ ₚₐᵣₜ

Taglist: @heart-an0n @kkkmm @inana-mm @yoashh @avitute @kingjulian0o9 @frogtits1 @shinebright2000 @posion3trab3rrykit

[massivechildtidalwave]

Interesting prompts involving KHR in case anyone wants to use them. KHR X DP edition

This is part one there will be more. Feel free to use just tag me if possible so I can read them.

After a reveal gone wrong Jazz takes Danny and runs to Italy to escape their parents. (she took Italian for curiosity sake and it makes sense for her to go a area who’s language she could speak). Tucker and Sam help with the escape but because all of them leaving would be weird and raise questions they don’t need, are forced to wait until the end of the school year to join them.

Jazz takes the easiest job she could find that makes money because she’s not relying on her brothers best friends family money even if Sam insists, with Tucker giving school information to get through the required bits as quickly as possible. She lands on a high paying customer service job like hairdressing or

Tucker also gives them fake identification just to make sure the government can’t find them and force them back to the Fentons.

whoops! Some members of the Varia frequents the place that she works and are suspicious. (She is way to capable for the job, No CIVILIAN should be able to catch Bels knifes, do hair to perfection and still have time to coo at a cat from across the street while being completely unfazed by the KNIFE they just had to dodge. It’s just something that doesn’t happen.)

Something is clearly not right with Jazz Nightengale, they just know it! Whoever did the background check is getting fired!

Meanwhile with Jazz, she’s doing her best to be normal but she was born a Fenton and there is just a amount of insanity that is tied to that family no matter the legal connection.

Everything Danny learned came from her and I feel like she’s the kind of kid to have picked up knife tricks or random weaponry for the “experience”

Danny is healing, he’s doing online school, she has a well paying job and is going back to school to become either a psychologist or a therapist. In her mind everything is fine.

(Tucker is the kind of kid who breaks into government documents for fun with outdated technology, he could absolutely get his own handmade documents past Varia inspection, he was making them with the intention of them holding up to government scrutiny and is best friends with Sam. )

(Jazz lived in a murder house her entire life while basically parenting Danny, not only can she multitask she is also Flame Active. However I think she would instinctive hide her Flames because of how ‘unnatural powers’ have been handled in her family. I’d place her as either a Rain or a Cloud depending on how well she is mentally after escaping with Danny. This could lead to Cloud Gaurdian Jazz.)

🦋🦋🦋

For Angst or Hurt/Comfort lovers

Danny as Verde could lead to some interesting angst. Maybe Dani needed some help keeping her form and he went into science, maybe we threw himself into science after a Nasty Burger explosion to avoid becoming like Dan, or maybe he had to quickly find a way to earn money after a Reveal gone wrong and decided to use what he knew about technology from his parents to make things for selling.

Of course once he had money he could experiment a little bit. slowly making more and more things based on his interests instead of just for money. However it slowly gets darker as he makes slightly more unhinged experiments with different methods to explain them.

He wants to create a new better prosthetic out of boredom but doesn’t have any one to give him feedback, until he runs into someone attacking someone else. He saves the injured person but their arm is pretty messed up, he might have to remove it. And his prototype is an arm prosthetic so might as well get that feedback!

He remembers his parents muzzles quite well and makes a more horrible version after a nightmare as a way to help get his footing back. “If someone can get out of this, I have no reason to fear their variation of them because I could probably get out of them too! And I recently had to help someone escape an abusive ex so we already have a willing test subject!”

Just him justifying his projects as they get closer and closer to things his parents would have come up with, without noticing or acknowledging that that was what was happening.

The earth shattering revelation when he’s sitting on the ground recovering from an experiment on how to grow back to how he was before the curse, because he had no other lab rat to test it on, and slowly realizing that he’s acting like his parents.

That his fellow Arcobaleno aren’t just distrustful of him and his experiments because he is a stranger to them but that they slightly fear him.

The realization that they only come to him when desperate for an answer. Figuring out that he knows the least about the others not because he is busy but because they do not fully trust him enough to stay around him long enough to give him that information….

Verde, who used to spend countless nights protecting people so much it became an obsession before the accident and his core turned to discovery and the stars, isn’t sure how to fix this.

He gathers the Arcobaleno after making sure the cure works, sits through a meeting full of suspicion he had to talk his way through, slides the case holding the cure into the table and leaves for his labs. The labs he needs to throughly clean and bleach and sort through to make sure all his projects aren’t as bad as they were before, but at this point he had no clue what is supposed to be morally correct to him at this point.

The Arcobaleno are left confused. Verde was doing his mad scientist shit with the cure but he was acting…weird. Weirder than normal, he didn’t demand anything for the cure, nor did he stay to monitor the effects for *science* like he always did for projects like this. He was acting weird enough Skull even went to the lab they knew he was in and tried to talk to him. They were fully expecting him to get pulled into an experiment but Verde just yelled at him to go away.

He sounded panicked. What the fuck was going on with their resident scientist.

[luvvyd0vey]

Fanfiction has absolutely ruined traditional books for me in the best and worst ways possible;

It’s made my expectations of the pace and amount of dopamine I should get from each and every scene skyrocket

It’s made me grow addicted to basically being able to find the exact very specific concept I crave at any moment because all I have to do on websites like Ao3 is put in the pairing or fandom and the tags I want and I can scroll however long I want until I find something that really peaks my interest, especially cause I have the luxury of passing by fics that don’t grab my attention and run away with it

Not only that but the long wait you have after hearing about a book and having to order it into your local library which could take weeks and so either a) the anticipation is building and so you either thoroughly enjoy the book or are greatly disappointed or b) by the time you get the book you are much less enthralled about it and instead of being really into it and are really just reading it for the fact you had to wait so long for it - but with fanfiction as soon as you read the tags and summary (not only can you see the amount of views, likes, comments, words and chapters) the excitement is already there and you are hit with rush after rush of dopamine.

And if the fic turns out to be disappointing or unfinished, it’s quite likely you can find a very similar fic to fulfil your needs almost immediately so you don’t stay disappointed for long.

And you get to directly interact with the fic writer which on its own I love.

Fanfic writers always have just so much love for their fic and you can often see that in their work, which with a lot of traditional writers it seems like they are dragging themselves to finish it off.

And it’s super easy to get into a fic whether or not you’re in a fandom as often you don’t really need much knowledge on the cannon material, but if you do and loved it then that strong emotional connection to characters is prebuilt, whilst with traditional writers they have to build that up which is where a lot of books fall flat, whereas if a fic writer made the same mistake then it’s okay because you already know the character from the original material.

The most mid quality fanfics often beat what I would consider 4 star books.

Also when I first discovered fanfic just so happened to be the time I was going through my first book slump (which then lasted 7 years) and I don’t know if the rush I got from fic only encouraged my book slump or if it would have lasted this long anyway, but it definitely raised my expectations and made slow-starting books difficult to bring myself to open.

Also a lot of my favourite writing concepts are things entirely found in fanfiction or just little stories/oneshots I read here on tumblr and NEVER in official published books. And if there ARE hints of them in traditional books they are usually minimal and badly written, and/or almost completely ignored in favour of smut.

And that goes onto my next point which is in fics, I know what I’m getting into before I even click on it; I’m immediately shown what type of content I’m about to consume (as in rating, the pairing(s), if there’s smut or hurt/comfort or what) whereas with books I often have to really dig to find out what sort of content is in it without buying the book and seeing the content warnings on the first few pages, which is an issue if you are trying to avoid a smut scene which was in no way hinted at in the blurb.

My main reason to try get back into traditional books is reading new content with new characters, be able to talk about it with my family (without having to explain the concept of fanfiction), and maybe possibly to put on display in my home.

But as I’ve been picking up books to read, I’m realising how much fanfic has raised my expectations for writing and having the best pick for whatever storyline I’d like and have come to the conclusion it has honestly ruined me, and possibly my attention span.

I don’t know

I’ll probably post several more-coherent posts about this later but for now enjoy my raw thoughts.

[minijenn]

The wind was strong, and the ground seemed unreachable. Finally, however, someone opened their eyes…

“What?” Connie asked, finally regaining her conscience. The last thing she remembered was being a part of Stonipbel, and falling off the… 

“What?!” she asked again, this time much more nervously, noticing that they all were falling into the ground’s direction. 

“Guys, we are falling!” the swordswoman shouted, trying to warn her friends. However, she got no response.

“Guys?!” she called out worriedly for them. It was only then that she noticed that they were all ahead of her, each one getting closer and closer to their imminent end.

She noticed that Steven was the one who was closest to her. She did her best to reach out for him. 

“Steven!” she shouted out of worrying, holding his hand. 

“I didn’t want to hurt anyone! I am sorry!” Steven bawled, impacted from just facing all of his most recent traumas. 

“None of them would let me help them, I had no choice” he continued, feeling like he failed the thing he was best at: helping others. 

“It’s okay” Connie tried to reassure him.

“No, it’s not!” the gem boy replied. 

“But it’s okay to think about it. There is nothing else you could have done” the swordswoman didn’t give up. She may not have been there on a lot of important moments of her friends, but she knew that, whatever the three did, was an attempt to make things right.

“Don’t wanna feel this way” Steven explained. 

“You have too! You have to be honest about how bad it feels so you can move on” Connie advised him. The gem boy still seemed reluctant. 

“That’s how it was for me” she completed,  showing that she was already on his place. It seemed like he still had his own doubts about it…

“Okay…” he agreed, finally read to fuse once again. They joined their foreheads, forming Stevonnie. 1 was saved, 2 to go. 

However, now that they were fused, their surroundings were reflecting their mental state. A shade of orange covered the place, and the butterflies returned.

They were making it hard for Stevonnie to see anything below them… until they finally managed to find their next friend. 

“Mabel!” they screamed, running into her direction. They put their arms around her as a way to comfort the sweater girl. 

“Mabel, are you okay?” Stevonnie asked, noticing the tears on her eyes. 

“I am an awful person!” Mabel cried loudly, drowning in guilt. The fusion was confused. 

“What?! No, you are not” Stevonnie reassured them. But, their friend kept crying. 

“I AM! I knew you two had something going on, and my silly dumb heart still managed to crush after Steven! I am the worst!” the girl in the sweater wailed.

The fusion put their hands on Mabel’s head so that they could look at each other from eye to eye. 

“Mabel, you are not awful for that. Feelings are uncontrollable. We know you didn’t mean any harm” the fusion calmed her down. 

“We went through so much during this summer. It’s not that the reason we will fall apart” Stevonnie stated with a smile. Mabel seemed genuinely moved by their words. 

The sweater girl nodded, and they all fused into Mabonnven. Now, the orange background became a shade of red. The butterflies amount increased and it was getting hard for them to see anything. 

“Gotta find Dipper quickly” Mabonnven affirmed, desperately looking around for the missing Mystery Kid. The crimson hue around them and the butterflies made them feel like they were trapped in a maze. Fortunately, they managed to find the pine boy on the corner. 

“DIPPER!” they exclaimed, feeling a mixture of worry and relief to find him. They hugged him to calm him down. 

“It’s okay, we are here now” Mabonnven said, on a very parental tone. It seemed like it didn’t work. 

“He will never leave us alone!” Dipper shouted. The three-eyed fusion seemed confused. 

“Bill always has the upper hand. I though that, maybe after defeating him during that sock opera, things would have turned out well, but, NO! He fused with Peridot, took our journal… and… and…” the pine boy was panicking terrified of what was happening. 

This time, it wouldn’t be as easy as before. Bill was still around, and, they couldn’t make any new promises. 

“Dipper, we are just as scared of Bill as you are. And we have no idea if we will ever beat him or if he will ever stop hurting us” Mabonnven cried, still impacted by what Bill did to all of them. 

“But, I know for sure that, as long as we have each other, everything will be okay! We faced Bipper together. We faced Pyrite together. And we managed to get our memories back together too! There is nothing the four of us can’t do” the three-eyed fusion spoke. 

Dipper stopped crying, but he still didn’t seem that fine. 

“As long as we stick together, Bill will never be able of getting rid of us” Mabonnven affirmed, confident in themselves. Dipper finally seemed ready to continue. 

The fusion light appeared once again and Stonipbel was back into action. But, this time, things were even scarier. The red’s around them got so dark, that it seemed like black, and the butterflies were enough to appear as hurricane clouds. 

“Good thoughts! Good thoughts! Good thoughts!” Stonipbel repeated continuously, trying to get out of that situation. However, someone took advantage of that situation. 

“Well, well, well. Mystery Twerp. It took quite long to finally meet ya” that cursed yellow triangle’s voice haunted the place. 

“You! What are you doing here!” Stonipbel questioned, feeling nothing but hatred for the source of all their headaches. Bill giggled. 

“Isn’t it obvious? I am excited to see four little annoying birds getting hit by one big stone” he teased, with a humor as acid as always. 

The fourway-fusion snapped. 

“Shut up…” they hissed. Their skin started to slowly turn pink, and their eyes changed shapes. 

“What?” the triangle inquired, not listening what the fusion had said. 

“Shut up! You may always have the advantage with your tricks and your lies. But, you know what, Bill? As long as we are together, you will never… WIN!” Stonipbel shouted, unleashing a powerful pink aura and Bill’s direction. 

The triangle was taken aback by that. He started to have cracks all over his body… 

“Wh..3t[s 7hat//// M8s73ry T####” the triangle started to glitch, before disappearing in thin air. Not only him, but the dark red aura and the butterflies too. The fusion sighed in relief, until they remember what was under them. 

“Yikes!” they exclaimed in worry. They nervously shook their feet in an attempt to float.

As they were about to get squashed into the dirt, they managed to activate their powers and land peacefully. 

They started to laugh brightly, content with the victory they had today. Of course, they still had a long way to go, and some of their problems would never go away, but, none of that mattered now, because… 

“I am here…” the fusion stated, as they used their four eyes to look at the beautiful clouds in the sky. 

 ___________________________________________________

Author’s Note: So, I really wanted to attempt to write my own version of Mindful Education. In my head, at least, the final scene with Steven and Connie falling would involve Connie reaching one by one of her friends, and forming their fusions to end up back as Stonipbel. And, since we had Pink Stepper in RMD, I saw no reason to not put Pink Stonipbel in Mindful Education.

Anyway, this is more a “What if” than anything. I am sure you will come up with something better.

I might also write in the future something about the first time Bill and Rose fuse, (yeah, I like to write about Bill. First, Bill with White, then Bill with Pearl on Pearl’s Lament, and now, Bill with Stonipbel. 

Hope you liked it and BYE!

---

OH I LOVED THIS! THE IDEA OF CONNIE BEING THE ONE TO KICK THINGS OFF AND THE FUSION BUILDING UNTIL THEY’RE ALL BACK TOGETHER AGAIN??? THAT’S BRILLIANT IMO I LOVE THAT GREAT JOB!!! 

[byuljoonie]

6 inch (heels) // jhs

She murdered everybody and I was her witness.

pairing: hoseok x reader

genre: one shot, angst, fluff, yearning, growing tension, friends to lovers, slight smut

word count: 4K+

warnings: mentions of mature topics, recreational dr!g use, mar!juana, cigarettes, club scene/celeb party, cunnilingus, dry humping bcs desperate, fingers ( in a few ways…), dom!sub, dom hoseok!sub reader, alcohol consumption, probably a good amount of swearing, and the most important warning of all: JITB era hoseok.

summary: your best friend convinces you to attend a launch party, without mentioning the presence of a certain someone. Inspired by the song 6 Inch from Beyoncé’s Lemonade.

note: I really don’t know how long this will end up but hoseok is going away soon and this is me coping. being delusional is the best way. we know namjoon is my soulmate but hobi…actually I’ll be quiet. sorry if this is too raunchy for you, I got some fluff coming soon. sorry for any errors, I suck sometimes. I hope you like it feel free to leave comments and asks. playlists in bio🫶🏾

“Y/N just give it a chance. You’ll never get out if you don’t actively try,” she pleaded. Here I am, still in bed reading the same book while listening to my best friend attempt to persuade me to leave the house. I know she’s right but I’d rather choke than admit how much I want to go. The thought of complimentary champagne and weed was the only thing lingering in my mind. Well, not the only thing but I’d rather not talk about him.

“I can see that sparkle of longing in your eye and I promise he won’t be there!” Aniase exclaimed dramatically. I almost missed the Cheshire grin that slipped past her lips. “I am not even thinking about him, I just have nothing to wear,” I said beaming with trepidation. I can’t put anything past her I don’t know why I even try. “The launch starts at 8, I’ll hang your dress on the door at 6,” she explained letting out a breviloquent sigh. I glanced at the white clock on my nightstand, zoning out slightly as the iridescent 4:46 swirled into unrecognizable shapes. I turned around to see Aniase walk out quietly shoulders heavy with burden.

I closed my long-forgotten novel and flopped my head into my pillow in despair. I don’t need everyone thinking they constantly have to babysit me. I know they only want what's best for me, but sometimes what's best for me is just me. The comfort in knowing I can’t get hurt right now is enough to appease my unstable emotions even if it means coincidentally being busy during events he could possibly attend. As much as I want to rot away in bed, my perspicacious ability warns me. Aniase’s intransigent attitude flashed through my mind.

I lept from my bed as the clock read 5:30, I’ve spent too much time moping about. I rush to my bathroom searching for my makeup bag catching a glance of myself in the mirror bringing me to a halt. Bags adorned my tired eyes, a stain-riddled t-shirt hung loose around my torso, all while a giant hair clip he gifted me held back my messy hair. Seems as if evening passing he’s somehow invading my everyday life.

“Hoseok. Jung Hoseok,” his name appeared suddenly in my mind. I don’t think Aniase is telling the truth about him coming to the launch but on the slight hope that he does, I can’t look like this! I’m a wreck and all because of a man whose smile can light up an entire universe. I’m so utterly in love with him that everything feels unfeasible without him. A radiant star even the moon smiles back when he bids a greeting, our first encounter on boundless repeat.

In my first year of graduate school, I received a paid internship from HYBE as a library assistant. I would run errands for the librarian, sort catalogs for upcoming meetings, assist in presentations, and my favorite help HYBE staff find the right read. I’ve always been a diffident individual, preferring to work or compete alone. Books and writing were my best friends, besides Aniase of course. Haruki Murakami is my favorite author, when a certain Kim Namjoon sauntered in with a bright Hoseok in tail looking for his newest release I was ecstatic, to say the least. Combating the harshness of reality while completing a Ph.D. is enough in itself, but combine it with continual yearning and you’re done.

“Hey Y/N! You already know what I’m here for,” Namjoon said cheerfully, grinning from ear to ear at me. “I sure do and I hate to say it but I may have read the first chapter already…” I trailed off with a guilt-filled expression. Namjoons boisterous laugh filled our ears as he grabbed the book from my waiting hand. “I knew you couldn’t wait! You’re such a sly fox and for what?” he playfully questioned with a raised eyebrow. “I can’t help but be myself,” I smirked, “also it’s just as profound as we thought.” I shot back gleefully. I glanced over at Hoseok suddenly getting chills when our eyes connected. His fluffy, black hair styled gracefully on his forehead, tan skin illuminated in the library spotlights. His expression of curiosity only peaking my interest further. He wore loose washed-out blue jeans and a short-sleeved black sweater with a single white strip near the neck and arms.

Namjoon stood knowingly glancing between us. He shook his head in disbelief at the awkward staring contest we were having. “Ah hyung this is Y/N,” Namjoon said signaling to me cautiously. He knew how hard it was for me to introduce myself to anyone. I’d grown close to the patient leader during my first few weeks at HYBE. He frequented the library even advocating for its renovation and new employment. I’ve spent countless nights with him arguing over our next read or what guitar riff is better in a song. He’s another constant in my life I will forever be grateful for.

I raise my hand in return as Hoseok reaches for it across my desk. “It’s nice to finally meet you Y/N I’ve heard so much about you, you can call me Hoseok or J.” he beamed. His delicate hand lingered in mine for a second too long, I watched as his golden bracelet slid down his wrist. “Likewise,” I stuttered out embarrassingly quietly. Namjoon could have sworn he saw sparks fly when my manicured hand slipped into Hoseoks.

“Y/N it’s time for your lunch break, take an hour and a half we have to stay late tonight.” The librarian said in passing with her lunch bag in hand. Before I could respond she was already near the door, exiting without another word. I let out a sigh of dread and started to say my goodbyes. “Y/N why don’t you join us for lunch, seems like you have some free time today,” Namjoon said looking at Hoseok. I went to shake my head no until I saw Hoseok waiting for an answer. “You know what, sure can we get tteokbokki please?” I asked fluttering my eyelashes at Namjoon knowing he’ll break. “Of course, hyung’s buying let’s go!” he said playfully rolling his eyes at me.

I snap out of my reverie grabbing my makeup bag from under my cabinet. I slip into the first pair of matching undergarments I find, not having time to waste. I don’t know what color dress Aniase bought me so I settled on a black smoky eye with cat eyeliner and a glossy lip. I made a scornful face at my reflection when suddenly loud knocking fills my bedroom. “Open up I have your dress and you’re going, I won’t take no for an answer-” Aniase halts in the middle of her sentence as she takes in my appearance.

“You look so fucking good oh my gosh!” she yells pushing past me into my room, the small black fabric in her hand catching my eye. I turned around wide-eyed as she smiles at me holding it up. “Is that-” I start to get teary-eyed as she passed me the dress I’ve been wanting for months. It’s this simple black Calvin Klein dress I saw on a runway with Hoseok months ago. It was a slightly above-the-knee body con with velvet black straps. I’d been telling them how much I’d fallen in love with it and that I needed to have it one day. “Yes it is, I love you and no one deserves it more than you,” she said closing the space between us and pulling me in for a tight hug.

“To be completely honest with you I also got the dress because I knew you had the perfect pair of shoes to match,” she admitted looking directly at the shoes in my open closet. “I fucking knew you were up to something, I’ll wear the shoes if you go roll a joint right now,” I said pushing past her with a frustrated huff, grabbing the sleek white box from the closet floor. “You got it, boss,” she said laughing as she walked out of my room. I crossed my room and set the shoe box on my bed. I slipped into the dress, taking a few minutes to admire my figure in the mirror. I glanced at the clock that now read 6:46. I put on a small silver cross necklace my parents gifted me for getting into grad school, I can’t believe I’m already halfway through my last year.

I opened the shoe box on my bed and gasped at how beautiful the shoes were. Hoseok gifted me a pair of 6-inch black Versace Medusa Aevitas, but instead of the usual golden charm he custom-made a silver sun and moon charm. One on each shoe, coinciding to make a gorgeous pair of heels. I never had the chance to wear them until now. I slipped them on and took a quick picture of myself in the mirror. Feeling my reflection come alive and ignite with a passion akin to madness. I felt irresistible and I needed someone to see.

I don’t know what came over me but in a flash I grabbed my phone, angling myself in a provocative pose in the mirror. I snapped the picture trying to come up with a clever caption to send Namjoon. “Hey Siri, play 6 Inch by Beyonce.” I typed out laughing at my cringe idea. I didn’t have time to react before I instantly got a notification.

Hobi ddaeng: “Wow..you look stunning baby.”

My eyes widened in horror as I read the recipient's name. I audibly screamed and I looked down in shock. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how I feel right now. I meant to send that to Namjoon I’m royally fucked. I have a plethora of questions but the main one being why did he respond so fast? I couldn’t stomach a response right now, I called Aniase into my room telling her I’m ready to smoke. My mind stayed fixated on Hoseoks' message through the night's progression. Aniase stared at me puzzled at my sudden mood change. “Is this because I made you wear the shoes?” she probed and passed me the joint. “No.” I simply stated, inhaling the plant to calm down.

At 7:50 I call a taxi to the apartment and we begin our 30-minute commute to the event center. I cross my legs hastily hoping the taxi driver didn’t get a peak under my short dress. His taxi smelled of cigarettes but he appears to be a nice middle-aged man. An email notification from my phone penetrates the stale air, making me jump slightly. The first thing I see is my professor's name and I audibly groan. “I’m so freaking tired of talking to my prof about my dissertation!” I exclaimed crossing my arms over my chest. Aniase laughed and didn’t spare me a second glance from her phone. “I thought Joon was helping you with that? Quit complaining and start worrying about the real problem!” she said. “Which is?” I questioned confused at her aimless outburst. “Your sex life,” she stated dryly looking up and laughing at the look of disgust on my face.

“You’re so gross just shut up please,” I begged while slapping her knee in embarrassment. I looked up noticing the taxi driver holding back laughter. I was quiet the rest of the ride and my nerves only grew worse. When we arrive at the building our driver opens the door for both of us and we are ushered inside by 2 security officers. As we walk through the labyrinth, the fluorescent office lights start to make me dizzy. I steady myself and give Aniase a look of reassurance.

“Here you go ladies, enjoy,” one of the tall officers says. He combs his hands through his gelled black hair and holds the door open. Aniase thanks, them as we cross the threshold into a sea of blinding lights. Blue, red, neons, and purple all flickered through the black-lit room. “Everything’s going to be alright Y/N, we can leave whenever you’re ready. Let’s go get a drink,” Aniase said pulling me through the small forming crowd on the dance floor. We spot the white-clothed table filled with champagne flutes and jello shots. “Isn’t this a clothing launch, it almost feels like a frat party,” I thought to myself. She handed me a glass of champagne and we downed it with solid cheers. This was Don Perigon 88, it tasted like heaven on the tongue and eased my nerves.

“Hey Aniase, Y/N!” a familiar voice echoed from the crowd. Kim Seokjin emerged from the crowd beaming at Aniase. I almost gagged when she sent a flirtatious wink in his direction. He grabbed her by the waist and gave her a bear hug. Sweeping her off of her feet because of their conflicting height difference. He then put her down and gave me a quick hug and lame pat on the back. “You suck Jin why don’t you two just fuck already?” I questioned causing him to turn red. “Hey you’re one to talk Ms.Jung,” Aniase struck back with funny intensity. “Fine, you win!” I said raising my hands in defeat. “Y/N about that…I’m going to steal Aniase for a while see you!” Seokjin said grabbing her hand and running before I could protest.

I grabbed another glass of champagne and walked slowly to a corner of the room. I can’t believe he just took her like that and she didn’t protest! I’m going to fight her later, she promised not to leave me. I nursed my glass for 20 minutes before receiving a text from Namjoon. Starting to feel the drinks I respond slowly.

Joonie Bear: “Are you going to the launch party Y/N/N?”

I nodded at my phone realizing he couldn’t see me. I held up my empty glass beside my face and took a quick selfie for him. Hoping he’d tell me he’s on his way or he invites me over. I received another notification while I’m thinking about leaving and going to get drunk with Namjoon.

Joonie Bear: *heart eyes* Great

I respond quickly this time, asking if he’s coming to the launch. Disappointed at his response and lack of enthusiasm, I wait 10 more minutes before I leave my spot. He left me on read and I am thoroughly pissed, 2 of my friends bailed on me while I’m tipsy and alone. I strut towards the drink table bumping into someone along the way. I down 2 more glasses and tipsily head to the restrooms. I needed to loosen up and I know just how.

I burst through the large door stumbling towards the countertop and clinging on. I grab my pen out of my purse and take a long pull, a euphoric rush of calmness invading me. I look up to see a blurred reflection in the large mirror. My eyes hung seductively low as the alcohol coursed through me. I could feel myself growing hotter as if a certain assailant was caressing my body. Flashbacks of his hands on my neck ravaged my mind. It’s never gone far enough with Hoseok and I need him.

Loud music starts blaring through the speaker to catch the attention of the guests. I check the time on my phone, it reads 9:00 pm adorning my wallpaper of Namjoon and me at a restaurant. I lingered in the restroom for an unprecedented amount of minutes, techno-pop music blasting through high-definition speakers as models walked on a stand-in runway. My heart is suffering with every beat, I have to leave. After I hear someone announce that the runway walk is over I check myself one last time and walk out.

Like the devil himself making a special appearance, I lock eyes with Jung Hoseok as I exit the restrooms. With the rhythm of the music matching my heart's beat, he smirks at me in surprise. I nod at him and run to look for Aniase. I can’t believe I just avoided him to his face, where the fuck is Aniase? “6-inch heels, she walks in the club like nobody's business. Goddamn, she murdered everybody and I was her witness…” Beyonce sings on as the hard bass palpitates through my eardrums.

I look over my shoulder in disbelief as Hoseok maneuvers his way through the crowd, gravitating toward me. I spare him a knowing look, beckoning him to follow me. I finally break out of the crowd leaving through the door behind the Dj booth. I walk down a long hallway and glance over my shoulder to make sure Hoseok is following me. A second later he bursts through the door eyeing me hungrily like well-marinated prey.

I make a right down the hallway and enter the first door I see. I blink rapidly as my eyes adjust to the bright dressing room light, being accustomed to the dark room making me overly sensitive. I notice a blue couch on the opposite side of the room facing the door, I hurry to take a seat because my legs feel numb. I grow more nervous with every passing second that I’m alone. Hoseok cautiously opens the door letting out a sigh of relief as we made eye contact. I took in his presence and outfit as he closed the space between us.

He wore a low-cut black top with baggy blue ripped jeans and a matching jean jacket. Luxury brand pins adorned his jacket and rings rested comfortably on his nimble fingers. He stared at me through his black cat eye shades, the brand matching the shoes I’m wearing. He set his glass of champagne on the small table next to me, not breaking eye contact as he invaded my space. Hoseok stares down into my eyes causing me to grow wetter with his every action. He takes off his sunglasses setting them in his jacket pocket before he finally breaks the silence.

“I feel like I’ve been chasing you all night,” he said lowly taking my hand in his and pulling me up. He spun me around and sat down in my spot, leaving me standing idle in front of him. He took in the sight of my outfit, eyeing my heels curiously. “Finally got you to wear them huh? Let me see you walk again doll,” He commanded nicely. I nodded and began walking away from him, smoothing my dress down in the front before turning swiftly on my heel and stopping. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I watched Hoseok palm himself through his jeans. I could feel the heat between my legs growing embarrassingly persistent. I nearly moaned at the sight of him, his skin glowing like a fallen angel.

“Come here baby,” he growled and I sprung into action, quickly closing the space between us sitting on his lap with my thighs sprawled on either side trapping him. I brace myself by placing my head on his chest, feeling his heart palpitate with mine. Hoseok then gently grabbed my face bringing it up to his, “I’ve been waiting for you for a long time Y/N knowing you’ll come back to me,” he started while staring into my attentive eyes. “I think about you day and night, those gorgeous eyes, the last time I felt your soft hands, the way your lips felt around my-” he said ceasing because of my urgency to kiss him.

He was completely magnetic, the silkiness of his deep voice sending me into oblivion. I sighed against his lips irrevocably getting a taste of something I will never again relinquish. I felt his hands travel down the back of my dress, roughly grabbing my ass under my dress. The taste of his lips intoxicated me and dragged me deeper into my addiction. The mix of alcohol, drugs, and Hoseok was enough to make me feel weak. He pressed my body against his with unpalpable desire, pulling away to let us catch our breath.

He grabbed my hips guiding me to rest on his right thigh. “I meant what I said Y/N, I can’t let you go..” he trailed off breathlessly. Though our self-control has already failed us tonight, I saw a flicker of something sinister in his eyes. He grabbed my hands which lay idle on his chest and place them on his shoulders, he then pulls up my dress to make my movement more accessible. “You know what I want doll, ride my thigh like the desperate slut that you are,” he commanded voice permeated with lust. My breathing grew shallow as he picked up his glass from the table and took a sip, “go ahead now,” he deadpanned motioning for me to start. Placing his drink down, he captured the straps of my dress and slowly slid them down, making me remove my hands from his shoulders and let the straps fall. He then grabbed the front of my dress yanking it down, to stare at my chest with lustful eyes.

The air was heavy, my skin damp and feverish being exposed to him. The cold air caused my nipples to harden, he sensed my aching need and started massaging at the supple mounds. Mindlessly groaning as I start to slowly move. I ground myself on the denim fabric and whimpered at the sweet pressure on my clit, my panties only adding to the friction. I couldn’t last long, I craved him for so long the need to consummate our relationship consumed me.

No amount of masturbating or toys could make me drunk with lust the way Jung Hosoek does. He was as addictive as any gateway drug, as mesmerizing as a siren's song. I could feel my orgasm growing closer, desperately moaning for him to take me. I continued to circle my hips on his thigh, biting my already swollen lips to muffle my needy noises. “Don’t be quiet now Y/N, ride my thigh just like that. Tell me how bad you need me,” he said continuing his devilish assault on my clothed center.

“Talk to me baby, I don’t care who hears,” he growled grabbing a fistful of my hair and exposing my sensitive neck to him. He starts leaving sloppy, wet kisses up my neck until he reached just behind my ear. Earning a loud groan from me as he leaves a harsh love mark behind. Stars fill my view as my orgasm reaches its climax. Hoseok then abruptly stands up, placing me to the right of him on the couch.

“I’m sorry doll, you’re not cumming tonight until I’m inside you,” he states plainly as if this esoteric action is commonly known. I whine in displeasure as my orgasm blindly fades into nothing, my body still tingling with fervor. “Ya-” I began to whine and was forcefully stopped when Hoseok stuck two fingers in my mouth. “Oh now you want to talk,” he said smirking as I proceeded to suck on his pointer and middle fingers. I lean back on the couch, melting into a mess of libido and yearning. “Good girl, you look like an absolute sin right now.” he gushed as he pulled out his phone from his back pocket.

He angled his camera above me and snapped a picture, staring at his phone in awe for a second. He then pulled his fingers from my mouth and ran them down my front until he reached the top of my panties. “You want me here right pet?” he teased maniacally, making me whimper pathetically. “Use your fucking words Y/N or I won’t touch you,” he commanded taking my throat in his hand and giving it a light but serious squeeze.

“Please touch me, sir, I need you to fuck me so bad,” I cried out defeated and horny. “You know I love when you call me that doll,” he said while aggressively yanking my panties down. He then shoved them in his back pocket and gave me a sly wink. He spared me one last look before he dove in. He starts feverishly lapping his tongue at my pussy, consuming me like his last meal. I scream out in pleasure as he grinds his tongue inside me, slurping and giving off the dirtiest sounds I’ve ever heard. One of his hands snakes its way up gripping my right breast and massaging in torturously slow circles. I’m almost at my climax, rhythmically riding his tongue when my phone loudly interrupts our session of perversion.

A familiar ringtone fills the room but that doesn’t stop Hoseoks wanted assault on my body. He continues indulging in the sweet sounds that I emit all at his leisure. My phone stops ringing earning a sigh of relief from Hoseok, sending a vibrational wave through my core. It starts again causing me to groan in annoyance, grabbing my phone from my discarded bag somewhere on the couch. I push his head away trying to pry him away from me, but he grips my thighs harder and hungrily laps at my pussy. I yelp in surprise moaning at the sudden pressure increase.

“Ho-Hobi she called twice, it has to be important,” I stutter out still trying to push his head away, tears slipping from my eyes as he stares into them. It feels so divine, but I aggressively answer the phone anyway. “Y- Y/N,” Aniase gurgles out, I could hear the drunken stupor in her voice. “Can we go home please, I don’t feel so good,” she slurred, “Hey! Y/N it’s Jin, Aniase may have taken a few too many shots,” he confessed nervously into the phone. I gave Hoseok a concerned look and his brows furrowed in confusion as he pulled away. “Seokjin you know she can’t drink that much, why the fuck would you let her.” I seethed into the phone, pulling my dress straps back over my shoulders. Hoseok rose from the floor and plopped on the couch next to me, mouth glistening with bright eyes. “I’m sorry I can’t help but do what she says, I love her..” he gushed at the end causing me to gag into the phone. “Whatever Jin, both of you better be waiting for me when I make it outside the main room door.” I passively said on the phone. I ended the call and stood up to fix my dress. Hosoek reaches for my hand pulling me back down to his lap.

“Trouble with the old married couple?” he playfully questioned igniting an uproar of laughter from both of us. I nodded and told him that I need to leave, standing up again and stuffing my phone in my purse. I turned to leave and Hoseok quickly stood up capturing me by my waist from behind. He let his right hand slowly trail up my body and stop on my neck, “don’t think I would let you get away that easily dollface.” he threatened squeezing my neck once more. “After you get home and settled, I’ll be downstairs waiting for you Y/N,” he promised, letting go of my neck with a chaste kiss.

I turned around and kissed him one last time before I departed the room. I run to a nearby restroom hoping I don’t get lost on the way back to the main room. I grow wide-eyed at my reflection in the mirror, my hair was a mess, my eyeliner is smeared from crying, my pupils are blown, and lastly 2 prominent marks decorate my neck. I try to make my hair as presentable as I can, removing my eyeliner smudges, and putting in clear eyedrops for my bloodshot eyes. Once I’m decent I stammer out of the restroom almost falling in my heels, again.

As I’m making my way down the hallway mindlessly thinking of Hoseok I can hear Beyonce’s voice echo through my mind. “You’ll always come back to me…” she sings dreamily causing me to a halt. His face projected in my mind once more, bringing a small smile to my lips. I walk through the Dj door, slipping past everyone before someone stopped to question my whereabouts. I burst through the main room entrance seeing Seokjin stroke Aniase’s hair as she rests her head on his chest.

“Where the hell have you been Y/N Belgium!?” he said frowning at me. “Nowhere I got sick on the walk back sorry, come on Aniase let’s go,” I said apologetically walking up and taking her hand. She drunkenly said her goodbyes to her boyfriend, and we walked outside to the driver Seokjin had ready for us. The drive back to our apartment felt like an eternity.

I woke up Aniase on arrival and help her up to our place, thank god for the elevators because our last apartment was a death trap accompanied by stairs. Aniase protests me putting her to bed, becoming inquisitive about where I was the entire night. After fighting her to put her pajamas on she finally gave in and fell asleep on my bed.

I haven’t received a text from Hoseok yet and I’m starting to think he’s not coming, or worse he’s changed his mind. My heart aches for a second, letting the somnolent atmosphere creep in before it's all ripped away with the sound of a text notification. I smile in my bathroom mirror as I finish retouching my makeup. I leave Aniase a note on my bedside table with 2 Tylenol and a coupon for a breakfast delivery service. I check my phone as I walk towards our apartment door, the text from him sending a shiver down my spine. I race to the elevators with my overnight bag in tow and a cheesy grin on my face.

My sunshine: I’m downstairs dollface come on, I have some joints already rolled ;)

THE END